Miss, miss, I think I'm dying. Miss, there's a lot of blood coming out of my nose and then
it's on my hands. Um, I think I have to leave. Please. Blood won't stop.
Hey, is that the answer to T? Was that the answer?
The blood?
Just everything you just said there, was that the answer?
If you wanna.
Okay.
I'll just sort of write in sections then, sure. Hold on. No, don't take my shit. Don't
take my words.
You said that into the ether. Shut up, she'll hear us.
Miss, can you at least give me tissues if you're not gonna acknowledge me? Pretty bad.
This paper wasn't read when I started. Do you have any tissues?
Would you like a new paper?
Do I get to start over everything?
I suppose you would have to.
But like, same amount of time or like, reset the clock?
The clock is still running.
Uh, Miss, I think I'm dying. Is that a special enough circumstance?
My nose has been bleeding for 40 minutes.
We are all dying at different paces.
Okay, Miss. Um.
Can I use that in this, Miss?
Stop asking others for the answers.
It's creative writing. I can write about whatever I want. Can I write about that?
It's critical analysis of creative writing.
Miss, can I go to the nurse? Please?
You can, but I will not stop the time.
That doesn't seem fair.
You could have chosen any time to bleed.
I don't think that's how it works. I didn't know that sneeze was gonna be so aggressive.
I'm holding my head. I also have a nosebleed. I'm holding it again. You're really distracting me.
Oh Jesus, I could see it in your eyes.
Can I use that in this?
Ow! Don't use my pen! That's what I'm using to fill my grave!
Hey, let it out. Just let it out. Let the blood out.
Miss, the blood's contagious.
The blood's not contagious.
Jillian has a nosebleed as well.
She's had a nosebleed since the start and she held it in like a good student.
Yeah, why can't you be like us?
Welcome back to Dunbracken.
Okay, so I guess we've decided that no more tests at the top of the hill.
Too many nosebleeds, I think.
Now hold on. One of my students held it in, which made me think all of the students can hold it in.
All right, well if you trust that they can hold it in.
I don't trust them, but they have the capabilities to hold it in.
I don't think I should have to relocate just because the students lack commitment.
Because I'm starting to feel it now. My head is woozy.
Like I have a lack of oxygen, I think, up here.
And you will become accustomed to it.
I understand that, but I don't know if for one hour...
This is part of my marathon training.
Yes, and we granted you...
And I will not move.
And we granted you a bus so you could take your students up and down the hill.
And we were allowing you to take it.
You were forcing me to use the bus. I wanted them to run up here.
Yes, and unfortunately they have to take the test in the bus because, of course,
on top of the hill there's nowhere for them to...
There is air. It's just low oxygen percentage.
Michael, are you going to be proud of me? There must have been a mix-up.
I was sat on the bus and I was passing exam paper.
They mixed me up for one of the kids.
I passed! Oh my... I don't need to be a bus driver anymore.
There's so many opportunities. What could I do if...
I could do a critical analysis of creative writing?
Freddie, that's incredible.
Thank you.
Oh, do you have any work that you want critically analyzed?
I watched the Green Mile yesterday. Could you just analyze?
You seem like a different person.
You seem like...
It really moved me.
This is what media can do.
Could you critically look at an application I was going to send?
Is that the kind of thing that we're doing?
Wait, is no one going to be bus drivers anymore?
No, there's other bus drivers. Don't worry.
So long as they don't take a test.
Sounds like you're all moving on.
Hey, as long as you're still here.
Yeah, I'll always be here. I love driving buses.
I would drive something bigger, but they won't allow me.
Would you drive a bus like the one that drove a big bus in the Green Mile?
Along the Green Mile?
Yeah, I would.
I haven't seen the movie, but I assume that's where they're driving.
Yeah, they're driving along the Green Mile.
And it's like a metaphor and stuff.
A what?
It's a metaphor for death. The final mile, I think.
I think my application is like a metaphor for the final mile.
I don't want to be a bus driver forever.
It's been good years, but I don't want it to be my final year.
Hey, buses are pretty cool, guys.
Buses are great.
Are you sure you want to put in for the marathon?
You haven't used your legs in a long time, apart from pushing those pedals on the bus.
You've got some sweet ass calves, but other than that, you're...
I mean, I...
You can't rely on that alone.
You can't rely on calves.
The application is beautiful.
You've really convinced me that you could do it.
If I didn't know you, I'd be like, this person could definitely do it.
Do the marathon.
Is that application just a brochure on you?
That's so cool.
Yeah, I just wanted to cover a bunch of different things.
That's nice.
You know, things I've done in the past, things I want to do next.
Professionally, creatively, logistically.
Does this mean both of your bus routes will be up for grabs?
Gabriel, we need someone to cover all of the bus routes with one bus.
Would you be willing to drive a triple decker?
You could stop right there.
I'm game.
Okay, well...
You could go bigger.
I'm so glad to hear you say that because that...
If you want to make it...
Currently, the current route, you have to drop some students off and then pick more up.
And that's going to cause problems starting school.
Yeah.
We could go quadruple.
I was thinking a Rubik's Cube made out of buses.
Three by three.
I'm open to... Conceptually, I'm open to this.
They wouldn't spend like a Rubik's Cube.
I wouldn't be against it.
It would give some fun for the kids.
In what way is this different from just a cube then?
It's flat.
It's just the only depth is like it's one bus deep.
Do you understand?
So it's not even a cube?
It's not really a cube, no.
It's neither Rubik nor Cube.
But it's three by three.
I suppose I need another.
Oh, see, you want...
No, I have D27 buses.
So what you're feeling to understand?
It's very simple.
There's nine buses.
There's three buses in one row.
And it goes up three.
Do you know what a cube is?
We studied that recently.
Yeah, it's...
Perfect.
It's a square and more squares.
And do you know what a Rubik's Cube is?
Yes.
Okay, so put both of those ideas out of your head.
Oh my God.
Neither of those things.
A Rubik's Cube is a cube.
Yeah.
Do you know what a double-decker bus is?
Yes.
That was the initial idea, but we're way off it now.
Okay.
This is just three buses, three normal school buses.
Okay.
On top of three normal school buses.
Okay.
All connected by a series of pipes, steel and beams
to my one central bus.
And you have the freedom to choose wherever you want.
Oh, okay.
Where are my friends sitting?
You know my friends.
Where are they?
Oh, Cool Club?
Cool Club.
Yeah.
They're usually at the back, but I don't see them.
No, they could be at the back of any of them.
So you might have to spend a while checking in and out.
You have full CCTV access there.
Just have a look.
Just turn it on.
Okay.
They're at the very back of the top middle bus.
Okay.
Sir?
Yeah.
I don't normally get the bus.
Normally my mum picks me up.
Do you have your backpack with you?
Do you have a parachute with you?
Parachute?
Yeah.
So this is what it's going to ask.
How long before I need to get off?
Do I need to like ring a bell?
Don't worry.
How long is it going to take me to get down?
And also how do I get back down and dismount the bus in a safe way?
Kid, you're asking all the right questions.
Thank you.
These are very, this is a very simple procedure.
Yeah.
There are six stops in the town.
You have to get off at one of the six designated stops.
Now I will start slowing down a mile before them
because if I stop any faster, we will tip over and crash and die.
And they are the six stops at the longest stretches of straight road.
So anytime we turn, hold on.
Okay.
So you've got a mile.
You'll feel the general-
No seat belts.
This is a bus, kid.
We're not made of money.
I'm Mr. Busman.
I left my bus pass in the math classroom.
It'll take me about 13 minutes to run there and run back.
And will it be possible for you to wait before you depart?
For you?
Sure.
Okay.
You can start your timer.
I'll be exactly on time.
Okay, great.
Okay, hey kids, hurry.
Hurry, kids.
Everyone on the bus.
Everyone on the bus, as quick as we can.
We've got 13 minutes to get this show on the road.
Come on, guys.
Guys.
No, give me back my clarinet.
No, I need that.
I have my exam tomorrow.
You're gonna fail anyway.
Yeah, I know I'm gonna fail,
but I still need to do it in principle.
My dad will be annoyed if I don't do my clarinet exam.
What, and you won't be annoyed if you fail?
I mean, yeah, that's another bridge I'm gonna have to cross whenever I get there.
But as long as he knows I've gone, and I can't just like leave without the clarinet.
So I need my clarinet case back.
Say someone took it.
Oh.
Then you won't have to go.
And it's not even a lie, we are taking it.
What are you gonna do with it?
Sell it for parts?
I've got an exam tomorrow.
Oh, what were you gonna do?
I have an exam tomorrow.
I was gonna sell it for parts.
Oh, can you wait a day?
No, because I have a saxophone exam tomorrow.
I'm gonna sell this so I can get saxophone parts so I can have a saxophone for the moment.
How many parts do you have?
I've gotta read.
Oh, so you're gonna be missing your rest?
Yeah.
I mean, yeah, I mean, I don't know how to play this, so I guess you can have it.
Do you know how to play the saxophone?
Wait, if you're doing an exam and you don't know how to play the clarinet,
then I'm at least gonna do better than you.
I don't think you will.
If you really cared about the clarinet, you wouldn't have let it go in the first place.
And I...
I care about the saxophone.
You snatched it out of my hand.
Yeah.
I was blowing my nose.
That's a two-hand job.
Why are you blowing your nose with the clarinet in your hand?
You're gonna get snot all over the clarinet.
That's disrespectful.
No, you took it from me.
It was in my possession.
Yeah, and you're blowing your nose.
You're gonna blow your nose all over the clarinet.
I was vulnerable.
If you did that, it would probably sound better than anything you've played.
Again, you guys have a point.
I can't really argue with your bullying technique.
Like, I'm kind of on your side.
But I just feel like I still need to own the clarinet.
I rented it from the school.
You rented it?
You rented it.
I feel bad for stealing this now.
Yeah, school property.
Yeah.
Schools don't get enough funding already.
And now you're gonna, what, waste an accelerometer's time?
And now you've lost a clarinet.
Wow.
But you want a clarinet.
I didn't ask for one because I was gonna lose it.
Probably gonna sell it for money.
Look, I don't think that this is a very fair battle
because I'm only first year and you guys are big in fifth year.
Yeah, you should listen to your elders now.
Yeah, look.
I'm outnumbered and outaged.
Look, this is how we learn.
When we were in first year, we tried bullying fifth years.
Did not work.
No, no, no, no, no.
They're stronger.
They are smarter.
And they play instruments far above our reach.
Shall I try bullying you guys to try and break the cycle?
Yeah, I'd love to see that.
What's so funny, punk?
Your face, your face.
Yeah, snotty face.
It is actually very funny.
You've got mismatched eyebrows.
Oh, wow.
Okay.
Yeah, I don't think I'm qualified for this yet.
Do you have any advice?
Change your eyebrows.
Maybe get two that are the same size, not one smaller than the other.
I just be surprised all the time.
Do you even play saxophone?
I don't have a saxophone, but I think from all the videos I've watched,
I'll be able to do it if I can get the parts for it.
I've seen him blow that reed.
I have full confidence.
Hey, thanks, dance.
Yeah, you're welcome.
You know what?
If I get a music deal, I'll name an album after you.
Terrence tracks.
It'll be for you.
Oh, I appreciate that.
No problem.
I spy with my little eye something beginning with C.
Curse.
Curse?
Yeah.
No, I don't see a curse.
Okay.
I am cursed.
No, you're cursed.
You're cursed.
Why are you saying that?
I'm cursed to be on this bus forever.
No, like it's a long journey.
That's why we're playing the game to pass some time.
Can't we?
Begins with C.
Chance.
Chance of getting off the bus.
No, it's-
I'm cursed to be here.
It's something that I can see, Robin.
Clouds zipping by.
No.
As I age.
Robin.
Stuck here on the bus.
Robin.
Calluses from gripping the handrail.
You don't need to grip that hard.
I appreciate the seatbelt.
Hey there, it's fast.
What?
It's fast, just like the time that goes by here.
Robin, this is supposed to be a fun game.
And you're kind of-
It is fun.
It kind of distracted me for like a little bit.
You really talked about the situation in a worse way than it is for a lot longer than I wanted.
I can see something.
And it begins with C.
See something making worse.
Change.
Hope.
Have you never played this game before?
Hope that we'll get off this bus.
Oh my god, I literally chose this because I thought that this would be accessible to me.
Choice.
I wanted to play 21.
I have the choice.
I'm not-
I'm not cursed.
I-
I can get off this bus if I want.
I just have to make the leap.
No, Robin, you can't-
I'm opening the window.
No, Robin.
At least guess my word first.
Ciao.
Robin, no.
It was Capybara.
Hahaha.
We would like to remind all passengers that when the seatbelt sign is on to have all phones on bus mode.
Seems like we have quite the predicament, Keith.
Looks like you've accidentally sat on the seat.
I put the chewing gum on.
You weren't meant to be stuck here.
You are now.
I haven't worked out quite how to-
How to remove the person who sits in the chewing gum.
Just know it wasn't meant for you.
It was meant for-
It was meant for Trevor.
Trevor?
Trevor, yeah.
You were gonna get your revenge on Trevor?
Oh, I was getting revenge on Trevor.
I mean, long time coming.
I knew that, Keith.
Three years.
Three years since whenever-
He was in fifth year.
And he was in fifth year.
And he was picking on me.
Yeah.
Is it true that you sabotaged his exams so he had to stay back for two years?
Yeah, that's right.
And some people would say that's revenge enough.
I don't think so.
That's not revenge enough.
I'm gonna trap him on this bus forever.
Am I trapped on this bus forever?
You may be trapped on this bus forever until I work out how to remove you, Keith.
I'm really sorry about that.
I know you were looking forward to seeing your dad.
He's back from war for the first time in three years.
You're not gonna get to see him.
And he's not allowed on this bus because of child protection.
So you're just gonna have to stay around him.
You'll get to weave at him every three hours, Keith.
You can weave out the window.
He's not gonna wait at the bus stop for me.
Oh.
Well, luckily, we go right past your house, Keith.
And you can look in the window and see what they're having for dinner.
Then they'll go to sleep.
Then it'll be another lip as they're still asleep.
And then whenever they wake up, you can weave at them when they're having breakfast.
And then lunch and then dinner and all over again.
Over and over and over again until I work out how to remove that chewing gum, Keith.
I feel like this speech was meant for Trevor.
This speech was meant for Trevor.
Um, now I know you've worked hard on this.
And what I'm about to say, I don't really want to do.
Okay.
But I could just take off my trousers.
That's disgusting.
It is, but I don't want to live on the bus.
That's not what everyone else is gonna leave.
And I can do it down there, right?
Keith, you find yourself in the top left bus of a nine bus cube.
You're gonna...
It's not a cube.
What do you mean it's not a cube?
It's three by three.
That's a square.
But it's as deep as it is wide, Keith.
That's a cube.
I guess, but I feel like you need the same number of units.
I don't understand.
Has this affected your plan?
No.
I was only describing this, Keith, to let you know that it's going to be very embarrassing
to walk from the top left bus down through all the pipe network down to the door.
And kids are going to see you in your boxers.
And I bet you didn't pick boxers for this occasion, Keith.
Did you? What boxers are you wearing, Keith?
Leopard print.
Leopard print boxers.
They make me feel fierce.
Hey, I know someone up there is on their phone.
I'm going to start swerving these buses until you put that phone away.
Okay.
Sorry, I was looking for someone to file a complaint to my child.
My child fell out of the eighth deck of the bus on the way home the other day.
And I just wanted to know how that happened.
Well, that's simple. Your child wasn't wearing a seat belt.
And it quite clearly chose not to put on the parachute either.
Why was she on a bus with eight decks?
You'd rather she walks home? Are you going to pick her up?
Okay.
I would like to file a complaint with you.
Oh. I'm all ears.
You quite clearly don't know how your child travels to and from school.
And you're not willing to do anything against it if you're unhappy with it.
I drop her to the bus stop. I pick her up from the bus stop.
The other day I had to pick her up from A&E.
Okay.
She had to text me to say, sorry, mom, running late.
Oh, I'm sorry. You're not meant to give the child on her phone.
We have a no phone policy.
Well, it was out of school. So.
Yeah, but she obviously had it with her.
Well, yeah, she has to because that's how we keep in touch to get her to and from the bus stop.
Why do I have to pay to go somewhere I don't want to go?
You have to go home, Ken. You just have to go home.
I don't want to go home. I'm not going to go here.
I know you don't want to go home.
This is where all my friends are at.
I know, but your friends aren't going to be here at school all night. They're going home as well.
I know, but I just like to be here and make the place nice for when they come back.
I know, Ken. And you're a great kid. You're a great kid.
I know.
But your home can't be that bad. It's worse than this.
Look, I'd take you to my home if I could, but there's laws against that.
What?
No, I'm just saying.
I don't want that.
If you didn't want to go to your home.
I don't. Is this stranger that you're trying to want me to take you?
No, no, no. OK, OK. We're backtracking. We're backtracking.
Everybody.
No, no, no. Get off the intercom.
He's going to take you to his home.
You can all sit here and make the place nice for when they come back.
You can all say, let's go overnight. We'll have a big sleepover.
Just stop hitting that.
Look, I'm not going to take you to my home.
I have a specific stop for you.
I would take you to your friend's home if I could,
but you have to get your parents' signature for that.
And I'm not aware to stop reaching for the intercom.
You would make a special stop for me?
No, I said I wouldn't.
You wouldn't? What?
No, I said if your parents signed off and said you could go to your friend's house,
I could. But there's only six CF stops.
There's only six designated CF stops in town.
Anywhere else, you're all going to die.
Look, that's why you've got this.
We're all going to die?
No.
Everybody's all going to die.
Get off the intercom.
Do you have your parachute?
Then it's less likely you're going to die.
Because there was one kid, didn't die, but didn't have her parachute.
I know, that was me.
That was you?
That was me.
All right. Wow. Your mom gave me some talking to.
She cares about me very much.
Yeah. So why don't you want to go home, dear?
Because all my friends are here.
Oh, yeah. You said that.
Yeah.
Yeah. Well.
You know what? I don't think you know where I live.
I know where your stop is. I don't know where you live.
No, what?
I don't know.
Everybody.
No, I have to know where your stop is.
I specifically said I don't know where you live.
I know around the area, sure, but that's only because your stop has to be within
a certain distance from your home.
Get off the intercom. Don't touch the button.
Okay. Okay. I'm looking at your route map.
You've got a lot of access on various houses.
Those are the Bob Kits.
But my house has an ax on it.
Yeah. So you know where I live.
Everybody.
Get off the intercom.
Okay.
Get on the bus.
All right. Just please remove the ax. I'm a good kid.
I ain't okay.
I'm sorry. I used you to come.
Should be. That would be worse than X, but you seem okay.
Hey, we're trying to do a good thing.
Oh, yeah.
I made it.
I made it back from Mad Clash with my bus pass.
I can go doors closing.
Doors closing.
I'm here. I'm on time.
I can speak.
Doors closing.
I can't stop.
Everybody.
We managed to get away without him.
Good use of the intercom, kid.
Excuse me.
Sorry. It's my stop.
Yeah. Sorry. Excuse me.
Excuse me. Sorry. Sorry.
I'll just push up.
Sorry. Excuse me.
Sorry. Yeah. Sorry.
I'm sorry. Can I just move your bag?
Sorry. Did you say this was your stop?
Yeah. I'm just trying to get to the front of the bus before.
Oh.
The stop.
What's your name?
Michelle.
Ah. So it's not your stop.
This stop is dedicated to Michelangelo.
I'm really sorry.
I need to keep pushing past people.
I have six more floors to get down before I get to that.
Excuse me.
But you said this was your stop, and this stop is dedicated to Michelangelo.
Hey, I need to climb down.
This is my stop.
This is the stop I need to get off at.
Hey, Michelle.
Hey.
So you're trying to get off at Michelangelo's stop.
It's not Michelle's stop.
You are?
Yeah.
Well, then welcome to get off at Michelangelo's stop.
Yeah, the stop with the little tiny statue by it.
Yeah.
Yeah, that's the stop that we get.
But it seemed like you were claiming.
Apologies. Maybe I've made a slight mistake.
We just went by it.
Ah. OK.
Sounded like you were trying to claim this stop as your own.
This stop was dedicated to Michelangelo.
I'm just going to go back to my seat.
I'm going to go back to my seat.
Excuse me.
Sorry.
Yeah, it's me again.
Sorry.
Can I just move your bag?
Sorry.
Excuse me.
So for anyone else on the tour.
Sorry.
The next stop is dedicated to Jacob Rosenheimer.
He found out that he was not actually related to his father.
He shortly after tried to find out who his real dad was.
Found out after a couple of weeks searching that it was a traveling tea salesman.
He found him on the side of the road.
He spoke to him and he made him a very nice cup of tea.
But it turned out it was a very sleepy cup of tea.
Because whenever he woke up a couple of hours later,
his father was gone and had abandoned him once again.
He was very disappointed.
The next stop is where he actually fell asleep.
Sorry. I have a question.
Who's Michelangelo?
Ah. Michelangelo is the first meat proprietor of this town.
Sorry. An announcement for all the kids.
I believe the tour guide is on one of the buses.
If anyone could please let me know which one he was.
He was in one E yesterday.
I just need to know where he is located now so we can finally get rid of him.
Thank you.
I won't tell.
Gabe. Gabriel.
Um, hey, I don't want to alarm you.
I think it was up.
I think they might have a flat.
Oh, God. Where?
The left hand side of the bottom or the left hand side of the
middle or the left hand side of the top left towards the back.
Like we're sort of a bit of a bit of a lean.
Oh, God.
Like a bit of a recline.
This makes sense because people over.
Oh, no, we can never stop.
We can never stop.
We can't stop unless at the designated stops.
If I stop before someone stop, they could go straight through a window.
A kid fell out last week.
No, but then no, there's a puncture.
It's really bad.
Don't worry.
I have accounted for this.
We can have a whole bus worth of kids.
Don't worry.
We'll just ask all the kids to move to the right hand side.
The bus self probably.
Gabriel.
Yeah, I will offer myself up.
I will lean out the side of the bus and replace the tire.
It is my dream to be of service to you.
Pablo Pablo.
I'm making my way to the back now.
Pablo, this is dangerous.
I can do this.
I know I really Pablo.
I can do this.
I know I really Pablo.
Oh, good.
He was caught in the other bus.
Oh, good.
He was caught in the other bus.
Oh, thank goodness.
Thank God I was turned the right way.
Oh, thank goodness.
Hey, Gabe.
Thank God I was turned the right way.
Yeah.
Hey, Gabe.
If Pablo tells you he can change your tire, don't believe him.
Yeah.
If Pablo tells you he can change your tire, don't believe him.
He changed your tire.
OK, good to know.
He changed your tire.
OK, good to know.
We made fun of him for being so weak.
So he said he was manly, but I don't think he changed his tire.
Luckily, we were turning a corner and he was able to be picked up by.
I'd open a window of one of the others.
I thought.
Sorry, I thought he was offering himself to be the substitute for the wheel.
That makes so much more sense.
At first, I thought he was offered to be the one to stand on the right hand side of the bus.
I was like, you're small, Pablo.
You need more.
Sorry.
And you let him.
That's not my domain.
It's Gabriel's whole thing.
Yeah, I'm in charge of the entire of this.
I'm just an advisor.
I'd call it a cube, but one line of a cube.
Let me also say I will never move from the left hand side.
Why do you do this?
It's where all my friends hang out.
Yeah, but if all your friends move, would you move?
Yeah, but they're not going to.
Oh, for God's sake.
It's unbelievable.
And I'm trying to drive here.
This is we've got blankets and cushions on the right hand side.
It's it's the best side.
Perfect.
If it's on the right hand side, then you need to move over to the right hand side.
Hold on.
I got confused because I was facing the other way.
Ah, you need to talk bus left or bus right.
OK.
It's bus lingo.
And starboard.
Now, that's the fifth bus.
OK.
You've got starboard reindeer.
I feel like we were on the same page.
Quite possibly, yeah.
Anyway, we're not moving.
We'd rather die in this bus.
Hey, so none of the kids have been at school for about two days now.
Why?
Uh, should we be worried or?
Well, I was thinking that we would be able to get George on the bus.
George?
George, yeah.
If we can get one of the teachers on the bus, be able to educate the children.
OK, I could get behind that.
Is he finished his marathon?
Is he willing to come from the hill?
If he's in the top bus, that's still quite high.
I think we would be able to come to an agreement so that he could run up and down.
I think we could come to some agreement.
That sounds nice.
Hey kids, uh, George is in the ninth bus.
So if anyone wants to learn today, you're more than welcome to go up to the ninth bus.
Is he showing a film?
It's up to him.
He's an English teacher, so he might be.
I'm going to assume there's a 40% chance that he's showing a film.
It's a strong chance.
Do you know what's on the curriculum?
No, I'm a bus driver.
I wanted something bigger, but just give me these nine buses.
I could go bigger.
If I knew the curriculum, I could work out what film he's likely to show.
Like it was Shakespeare.
We're probably watching Basler.
Why don't you go up and ask him?
I don't want to get trapped.
Can't get trapped up there.
The ninth bus is the securist bus.
Yeah, but if I go, then it's the polite thing to do to sit down.
I can just stick my head and be like, oh, we're actually learning.
Like there's a worksheet.
I'm leaving.
That looks bad.
Well, that's fair.
Yeah, I just wish I could get you kids off this bus.
You have CCTV.
No.
You don't have CCTV.
No, how can you cover nine buses?
With cameras?
Yeah, I mean, there's cameras there, but I can't stop the bus, so I can't get the footage.
You can't stop the bus?
No, why do you think he's been here for that?
Why do you think the seven buses now, like a canteen?
I thought we were going on a school trip.
No, if I stop, this will all plummet forward and kill all of us.
This was a terribly designed thing.
I mean, I know the life of the bus driver is behind me now.
If I was going to analyze that bus, I would not pass it through health and safety.
He's also been driving barefoot.
That's him pushing the pedals with his feet.
You can hear throughout Dunbracken.
That's how you know when the bus is coming.
I can relate.
I used to work at a go-kart truck, so sometimes whenever I see people drive,
I'm very critical of it too.
Is that your neck?
Those are my bones.
I'm six and a half foot tall and I cramp myself under a go-kart every day for 12 years.
See, I thought you were going to say that you drove the go-kart barefoot as well.
No.
All the kids drive them.
So you were a bus driver, you were a go-kart driver.
I wish I had drove something.
I mean, does a bike count?
No.
What about a car?
Yeah, I wish I had driven one of them.
I just got my bike.
You know, we don't have to make a conversation.
I'm happy to read my book.
Okay, sorry.
Use the word.
I'm in the middle of this.
That's fine.
I really meant to stagger our lunch breaks.
It's times like this that I wish I had kept that please don't talk to the bus driver sign
and just, you know, I could tap that.
How often do you tap it?
Sometimes I wake up from just vigorously tapping in my sleep.
Wow.
I did it a lot.
That must feel very powerful when someone's annoying you and you just tap the sign.
Yeah, it came with a lot of authority and whenever someone would disrespect that,
I would get up from where I was sat because I had the pedals primed so that the bus could
keep driving, I would just hit them. You would never expect that.
No, you're right.
You know what?
I've always been respectful of bus drivers, but I hadn't considered the fact that they might assault me.
Yeah, I mean, if you're distracting the driver, you get what's coming for you.
I'd announce we're going to be taking the roundabout in about a mile.
So just be prepared to get smashed into the left side of every single bus.
The right side of buses will take this hardest.
The left side of buses, make sure your windows are closed or at the very least,
you have your parachutes on.
Hello class.
Today we're watching Snowpiercer.
Please keep all your nosebleeds till the end of the class.
I'm looking at you Dorothy.
Sir, I wonder if this is too close to home for some of us.
What do you mean?
This film, it seems like we're living it out and I don't like it.
Is this about to contain food?
Yes, it's really bad and only the rich kids get it.
Quick show of hands, who here has seen this movie before?
Just you.
Yeah.
In that case, write a critical analysis of it.
Back to Dunbracken is created, produced and edited by Connoth McVeigh.
And Conor Reddick.
The opening and closing music was created by Conor Mallon
and you can check out his entire album Unearthed on Spotify now.
Thank you for listening.
We look forward to welcoming you back to Dunbracken very soon.