Welcome to ECB's weekly sermon podcast. ECB is
an international church in Bangkok, Thailand
with dozens of nationalities worshiping together.
We invite you to connect with us from wherever
you are through our website, ecb .asia, or our
mobile app. And now we pray that you are blessed
by this week's sermon. Good morning. For those
of you who are joining for the first time, we
are a community who gathers around the person
of Jesus. And as you've looked around, you see
we are a people from all different walks of life.
And yet one thing brings us together, and that
is Jesus. And if you are just joining for the
first time, you came to a service where we're
not going to have light conversations about the
weather or who's winning the World Cup at this
point. We are going to go deep. to forgiveness,
possibly one of the most difficult, challenging
things of following Jesus. And so for the next
four weeks, this will be our sermon series, Forgiveness,
the Oxygen of the Kingdom. In 2006, I woke up
on the west coast of the United States to the
news of a horrific, horrific event. A man had
entered into an Amish community. And if you're
not familiar with the Amish, these are people
who gather around, shape themselves to be like
Jesus as a community in a very intentional way
they live. They're pacifists, which means they
don't even believe in war. And a man entered
into one of their schools and he had the adults
and the boys leave and he lined up the 10 girls
and he shot them, killing five of them. and permanently
injuring the other five. He then turned the gun
on himself and committed suicide. Possibly even
more shocking than that tragic event 20 years
ago was the response of the Amish community.
Not weeks, not months, not years, but moments
after. The community went and visited the widow
of this man that had killed their children and
visited them to express their condolences and
to comfort her. They committed to an act of forgiveness.
They even attended his funeral. And we ask ourselves,
why would you do that? This man doesn't deserve
that type of treatment. Everyone says forgiveness
is a lovely idea. We like to talk about it. But
then when we have something, someone to forgive
in a specific instance, it becomes a different
reality, doesn't it? So I want to invite you
to engage in this series with all of who you
are. And I want you to, I'm inviting you right
now to think about somebody who has wronged you.
I'm a pastor, so I've heard a lot of stories
about people wronging each other. I know that
everyone in this room has experienced a wrong
against them. Betrayal. Something stolen from
you. Violation to who you are and your dignity.
Things that may or may not ever be able to be
returned. Think about that person. They may be
in this room. They may be somebody from your
past. But I want you to keep them in mind as
we ask a question. Why should you forgive? Why
should I forgive? Because at the heart of that
question, we're going to have Jesus coming in
to shape a community like ours in forgiveness.
In fact, he does this in a prayer that is embedded
right in the middle of three chapters, five,
six, and seven of Matthew. It's called the Sermon
on the Mount. This is the most concise collection
of Jesus's profound teaching about what you and
I are to look like as kingdom participants. And
right in the middle of this in chapter six is
this verse, this modeling of how to pray. And
what I would like us to do is actually use this
prayer to bring us into a space of, Holy Spirit,
would you move within us this morning? So I'm
going to pray this out. You can either follow
along with the words on the screen. You know
it maybe in different translations. But would
you, I invite you to have a posture of surrender.
Surrender to God through it. So our Father in
heaven, may your name be kept holy. May your
kingdom come soon. May your will be done on earth
as it is in heaven. Give us today the food that
we need. And forgive us our sins as we forgive
those who sin against us. And do not lead us
yet into temptation, but deliver us, rescue us
from evil. Amen. What did you notice right at
the heart of this prayer? The first section is
about us orienting ourselves to God. And the
second part of the prayer is about God's kingdom
being oriented into our own lives. So would God's
kingdom shape and flow us? And right at the middle
of it is this. Phrase here, would you read it
out with me? And forgive us our sins as we have
forgiven those who sin against us. When Jesus
introduces this prayer, he says, hey, don't be
like the Pharisees who go on and on and have
these long prayers. Look at an option of praying
that is much shorter. And for 2000 years, we've
been being shaped by this prayer and it is really
short. And yet God. decided to put forgiveness
right at the heart of it. And not only that,
but the only commentary that Jesus provides on
this verse is actually focused on that forgiveness.
Just in case we're like, let me see if I can
wiggle out of what Jesus said there. He says,
if you forgive those who sin against you, your
heavenly father will forgive you. But if you
don't, then you will not be forgiven either.
That's kind of strong, isn't that? Wait, if I
don't forgive others, does that mean I'm not
forgiven? Is this conditional now, God? Forgiveness
is always about receiving forgiveness and then
giving it out. So we are a forgiven people who
forgive others. And the mark of you being forgiven
is that you will forgive others. That will be
evident in what you do. So Matthew 18. An entire
chapter that is focused on communities of Christ
who are going to mess up a lot. I'm so glad that
Jesus didn't sugarcoat and say, hey, you know,
when your life group gets together, everything's
just going to be great. He knows we're going
to have conflict. He knows we're going to have
problem and he knows we're going to hurt each
other. You know why? Because you and I have the
desire to be treated like Jesus deeply embedded
in us. And none of you are going to treat me
like Jesus can treat me. And I'm not going to
treat you as perfectly as Jesus treats us as
well. So we're going to kind of do this clunky
community thing. And Jesus, in this entire chapter,
gives seven different ways of gathering as his
people. And the final two are kind of paired
because one is about forgiveness and one is about
being freed from the trap or the prison of resentment.
And the way for that is through forgiveness.
Like all of us, when we hear that story at the
beginning or when you maybe picture the person
who you need to forgive in your own mind and
heart, we join Peter, right? We're like, ah,
we want to calculate this. So every time I ask
my daughters to do the dishes, They're very quick
to be like, Dad, hey, can I just do this pile
right here? Is that okay? And what they're doing
is they're saying, maybe if I present a generous
amount, he's not going to ask me to do all of
the dishes. And this is exactly what Peter, Peter
is my favorite because he speaks what all of
us are wanting to say. But usually we wait for
that person to say it. And then we're like, okay,
yeah, yeah, that's what we were thinking too.
So Peter comes to Jesus and he's like, Lord,
how many times should we forgive? And this is
the dishes thing where he goes, he's trying to
be actually really holy here. Because the Pharisees
would have said, you need to forgive three times.
And Peter's like, how about I double that and
add one more? Jesus, should we forgive seven
times? And he's probably thinking, Jesus is like,
whoa, Peter, you're so holy and awesome. Yeah,
absolutely, that's what you should do. But that's
not what happens. Instead, Jesus responds with
a parable. Why does he respond with a parable?
Because the story gets in at the very heart of
who we are rather than a checklist of this is
what you should and shouldn't do. And I'm going
to read this parable. It's a well -known, familiar
parable. I'm going to read it for you. And I
want you, as you, again, think through whoever
that is that has wronged you or offended you.
And keep that in mind as you listen to Jesus
responding, as you think, Do I have to forgive
this? Maybe this is too much to forgive. So here's
Jesus' response. Therefore, the kingdom of heaven
can be compared to a king who decided to bring
his accounts up to date with servants who had
borrowed money from him. In the process, one
of his debtors was brought in who owed him 10
,000 bags of gold. He couldn't pay, so his master
ordered that he be sold, along with his wife,
his children, and everything he owed to pay the
debts. But the man fell down before his master
and he begged him, please, please be patient
with me and I will pay all of it. Then his master
was filled with pity for him and he released
him and forgave his debt. But when the man left
the king, he went to a fellow servant who owed
him a few thousand dollars. And he grabbed him
by the throat and he demanded instant payment.
His fellow servant fell down before him and begged
for a little more time. Be patient with me and
I will pay it, he pleaded. But his creditor wouldn't
wait. He had the man arrested and put in prison
until the debt could be paid in full. When some
of the other servants saw this, they were very
upset. They went to the king and they told him
everything that had happened. Then the king called
in the man he had forgiven and said, you wicked
servant, I forgave you that tremendous debt because
you pleaded with me. Shouldn't you have mercy
on your fellow servant just as I had mercy on
you? Then the angry king sent the man to prison
to be tortured until he had paid his entire debt.
And Jesus concludes this parable by saying, that's
what my heavenly father will do to you if you
refuse to forgive your brothers and sisters from
your heart. This is Jesus' response to Peter.
Right before the parable, Jesus has these words
where he answers Peter and he says, I tell you
not seven times. Remember, Peter is probably
thinking, yes, I got the right amount. He says,
no, not seven times. But how many times? 77 times.
Now. All kinds of commentators will look at this
and be like, well, it's seven times seven or
it's 70 times seven. And what does that mean?
I think what Jesus is doing here is he's hyperlinking
into a story that is as old as time. And before
I show you that passage, let me introduce a little
bit of the story. So we know Adam and Eve rebel
against the king. They say, we think we can use
your creation, but without you. And so we're
going to do life on our own terms. Well, they
end up in their rebellion, having sons, Cain
and Abel, and Cain kills his own brother, Abel.
And Cain is then exiled away as a form of punishment.
And Cain looks at God and he says, hey, this
punishment is too much. It's going to be dangerous
if I'm out there. And God says, don't worry,
I will protect you and I will avenge seven times
anyone who attacks you. Out of great mercy. Cain
did not deserve that. But then we have this guy
Lamech that comes along and Lamech decides to
write a poem to his wives. Now, if any of you
are starting a new relationship, do not take
guidance from Lamech about how to be romantic.
And you'll see why right here. Here's what Lamech
says. Lamech said, so he sits his two wives down
and you can imagine this. He's looking at both
of them and he's like, he's like, Ada and Zillah,
wives of Lamech. Now, you've already put yourself
in the poem, right? Don't do that. Wives of Lamech,
hear my words. I have killed a young man for
injuring me, or a man for injuring me, a young
man for wounding me. What's he doing? He's saying,
you know what? When this infraction is done to
me, I'm so awesome, I do this back to them. This
is the way of Lamech. And here's how he finishes
that. He says, if Cain is avenged seven times,
then Lamech 77 times. This is the link that is
made. And Jesus is going all the way back to
the beginning and he's saying, guess what? There
is a tale as old as time written inside your
very hearts about retaliation and revenge. And
so you put it right up to what Jesus said here
and you see that he's telling a new story. He's
telling the story that we were always meant to
live in. And he says you are to forgive, in fact,
the exact opposite of what lamex revenge is,
77 times to another person. Seven is also considered
a whole number, and so this is just, there is
no limit on your forgiveness. My daughters, do
all the dishes. Don't just set part of them aside.
They're going to come in second service, and
I'm going to hit this harder for that. So two
paths that is given to us, right? And in this
parable, we're going to see kind of the journey
of these two ways forward, one towards resentment
or one towards forgiveness. So why should we
forgive? Because Jesus teaches it here and he's
going to help us see that. But resentment starts
with fear. You see, you and I were made to experience
a perfect relationship, a secure relationship
with God. But we're all born apart from that.
So within us is a fear. And the fruit of fear
is control. In my fear, I want to control the
world around me. So when you wrong me, my first
thought is, I need to control the debt that you
owe me. I need to take that into my own hands
and control that. Why? Because I'm fearful that
nobody is going to take care of me on the other
side. So I take it into my own hands. And you
see this with the servant when he chokes his
fellow servant. The other thing that we do in
a posture of resentment is to forget. We forget
how much we have been forgiven. And you see that
immediately. It's ironic how quickly he turns
around and he chokes his fellow servant. In this,
we begin to develop a pattern, a habit of revenge
towards others. So we continue the cycle of hurt
and retaliation or resentment against us. And
that simply repeats the story over and over and
over again. And if you go back to the time that
scripture was written and around when Lamech
was running around, there was a code in Babylon
about how we should engage ethically. And it
said, if you take my eye, I take your eye. If
you take my tooth, I take your tooth. And of
course, the ironic thing with all of this that
has been said is we're going to end up in a world
where everybody's blind. And I might add that
all need dentures as well. This is not a pretty
place to be when we are fighting each other and
saying, you did this to me, I'm going to do the
same thing back to you. Or even the Lamech way,
I'm going to ratchet it up a little bit. And
what Jesus is doing is he brings this out in
this parable is he's saying, this isn't just
that guy's problem back then. This is our problem.
This is within us. This is how we're going to
naturally treat other people. So he responds
with this parable and he helps us to see what
is going on. And he says that the servant. He's
going to be revengeful and actually choke the
person that owes him something. Now, you may
or may not get to that point of violence personality
-wise, but how does your heart respond to that
person that you identified? Are you so adamant
about extracting something from them? And you
are going to engage all of who you are to get
that back. that his fellow servant, he falls
to his knees. And what does he do? He begs him
with almost the exact same words that he had
just used. But the man refused and he has him
thrown into prison. Now, is prison a good place
to repay your debt? You can't work it off there.
And possibly the irony of what Jesus is doing
here is he's helping us see that you know what,
we can't actually get retributive justice accomplished
here. I maybe get some payment back, but it's
never going to be what it was meant to be. And
that justice moves us towards a different way
forward. So we see here that... Then the master
called the servant in and he says, you wicked
servant, I canceled all the debt of yours because
you begged me to. Shouldn't you have had mercy
on your fellow servant just as I had on you?
Now with Jesus's parables, again, he's not asking
us to look at this and be like, what a horrible
guy. He's actually asking us to see that we have
this potential as well and therefore need him
even more. This is how your heavenly father then
will repay you unless you forgive your brother
or sister from your heart. You see, we cannot
go through the narrow door into heaven when our
lives are bulging with resentment. This does
not mean, and I want to be very clear about this,
we do not earn our way into heaven by forgiving.
Forgiveness actually reveals that we have been
forgiven. And so when you hold on to resentment
again and again and again and again and again,
it's probably an indication that you have not
truly understood the full debt that you have
been forgiven from the one who loves you. So
you have the lame equate. But now you have a
different path that Jesus is inviting forward.
And he's brought this to Peter and he says, let
me teach you the Jesus way. Let me show you what
that is like. Because this way that I have described
to you leads to a trap, a prison of your own
making. Let me free you from that and offer a
different way forward. So Jesus says, therefore,
the kingdom, this is what it's like. The kingdom
of heaven is like this king who comes and he
says, I'm going to settle accounts. And so he
brings people in to settle accounts and one of
those people owes 10 ,000 talents or 10 ,000
bags of gold. Now, rather than us calculating
this and trying to figure out exactly what that
means, just think this is a huge amount. He can
never pay it back. Since he was not able to pay
this, he comes to the king and he says, would
you please forgive me? Would you please release
me from this? And in mercy, the king responds
and he forgives him. But this isn't Jesus saying,
hey, there's a God of the New Testament that's
different than the God of the Old Testament.
We link all the way back to when God actually,
like Lamech, writes a poem to Moses. And he comes
to Moses to reveal who he is and he says, he
passed in front of Moses and he says, the Lord,
the Lord, he's compassionate and gracious God,
slow to anger, abounding in love and faithfulness.
maintaining love to thousands and forgiving wickedness,
rebellion, and sin, then what does it say? Yet
he does not leave the guilty unpunished. God
is not a God who simply sweeps the wrong under
the rug. He actually makes a way to take care
of the wrong. And this is what we long for. Our
justice doesn't long for somebody to just forgive
and forget. It longs for things to be taken care
of. And so the number one posture within the
gospel is truth, to name the debt. When somebody
has wronged you, don't sweep it under the rug
and pretend it didn't happen. That is going to
be a way that you think, oh, this is a really
Christian -like way of me responding. I'm just
going to not think about it. That is not actually
the way that this parable models forward. It
says, name the debt. Take account of what was
cost. What has happened to you and what have
you done to others? Name that. Psychology has
figured out that naming that helps you in so
many ways. And one of those is that it helps
that controlling factor of what has happened
to you. It releases that. God knew that far before
anybody figured that out through psychology.
Name the debt. See, forgiveness does not forget.
Forgiveness does not ignore the offense. It tells
the truth about what was lost. Posture number
one. That's why I invited you at the very beginning
of this to think through what has happened to
you. Somebody you need to forgive. Another quote
here is, when we forgive evil, we do not excuse
it. We do not tolerate it. We do not smother
it. We look the evil full in the face and we
call it what it is. Let its horror shock and
stun and enrage us. And only then do we forgive.
Forget it. Forgive it. The Amish community wept
deeply for their loss. They acknowledged exactly
what had happened to them and they called it
what it was. It was evil. But they also acted
in a gracious, forgiving response. So the second
thing is to remember the story. What story are
we remembering? We're remembering the debt that
we actually owe. A number of months ago, I was
actually taking a retreat. Because the Holy Spirit
had brought to mind a person that I needed to
go and forgive. And I went on this retreat and
I arrived at the place and my plan was, hey,
I'm going to wake up in the morning and I'm going
to forgive. Right? So I go to bed that night
and I'm thinking through, okay, all the ways
that this person has wronged me. And I wake up
in the morning and I get out there kind of triumphantly
thinking, okay, here's the day I'm going to forgive
them. And Holy Spirit took me on a different
journey. There's about a half kilometer path
around where I was going, and I was imagining
kind of doing this prayer walk and forgiving,
kind of like Peter, I'm so holy, aren't I? And
instead, what Holy Spirit does is he takes me
on seven loops around this retreat center, bringing
to mind thing after thing after thing that I
have done. towards other people and God. And
it wasn't this, Phil, look at this, this is what
I'm doing to you again and again. It was this
kind way of holding me and saying, I took care
of that as well. You couldn't pay for that and
I took care of that. You couldn't pay for that
and I took care of that. By the seven laps around
when I came back remembering the story of what
had happened to me, that last lap was so much
easier. It was not done in my own will and grit
and effort. It was done out of those seven laps
of being reminded, Lord, this is what you have
been doing in my own life. We must, to forgive
others, we must remember the greater story. As
you remember what someone has done to you, remember
what God has done for you. Keep those in mind
together. This king forgives this debt of 10
,000 bags of gold or 10 ,000 talents rather than
us saying, okay, this is about this amount of
time or work and effort. 10 ,000 is the largest
Roman numeral and gold is the most significant
or a talent was the most significant currency
amount there. So what is he saying? This is a
huge amount. This is not just a normal debt.
This is a debt that actually could compromise
the kingdom itself. It is like multiple kingdoms,
a revenue in one single debt. My uncle Jim and
my aunt Rachel have written quite a bit on forgiveness
and they have done a lot of teaching and work
on it and it has flowed out of their own personal
story. And brothers and sisters, I so wish that
they could shepherd you through this. They are
wonderful people. Part of their story, though,
is horrific. As a young pastor, my uncle Jim
was at home when his two young kids were out
playing outside in a small swimming pool. The
oldest daughter was six years old. When a car...
crashed through the fence, came through their
yard, and ran over and killed their six -year
-old daughter. To make things worse, the lady
that was driving was a young lady without a license.
She was joyriding with some friends. She should
not have been behind the wheel. To make things
even worse, her father had given her those keys
and let her go out. My uncle and my aunt are
now left with a burden that they can never return
at that point. And it begins to move within them.
But in that, they have brought an example that
I'm going to use here this morning for you that
has really touched the way we see things. You
see, when the king forgives the debt, he doesn't
just erase it and forget about it. He does something
different. What does it say? Hurt. Now if I take
this and I erase the debt, it's gone, right?
It's that easy. Where is it? Where? It's on my
hand. You see, substitutionary forgiveness means
I'm not pretending that something is gone. I'm
actually absorbing that very debt onto myself.
And this is the gospel. This is the one that
we follow. Jesus took your sins and my sins and
he actually absorbed it onto himself. He didn't
just forget about it or ignore it. He took it
and paid for it. And what this parable shows
is if he had just forgotten about it, the entire
economy of this kingdom would have been wrecked.
It needed to be paid for in order for the kingdom
to survive going forward. And so we look forward
and it says, at this the servant falls on his
knees and he says, I'm going to pay back everything.
Could he pay this back? Absolutely not. It doesn't
matter how many years he worked. He never would
have paid this back. And that's the point of
this parable. You and I can never pay back what
is owed to God. And yet we try over and over
again. And this guy responds and he says, I'm
going to try a little harder. But true forgiveness
says, I can't. Only you can. Only you can cover
it for me. And it's remembering that story and
living in that story that begins to reshape us.
You see, the one who forgives is willing to bear
the consequences of the injustice that was done
and erase the debt from the ledger of the one
asking for forgiveness. This is a quote from
my Uncle Jim. So we are called to release the
debts of others. And that doesn't mean just to
simply forget them. That actually means to absorb.
What they have done to us. An author named Diedrich
Bonhoeffer. Who is also a pastor. And ended up
dying during World War II. Fighting against Hitler.
He said the following. He said forgiveness is
a double suffering. Because somebody has wronged
you. And then you have to take on the wrong that
they have done. Absorbing that to forgive them.
Forgiveness is a hard work. It is incredibly
hard, but we are called to release what others
have done to us. Not to forget it, because God
will bring everything that is wrong right again.
Forgiveness is releasing my right to collect
the debt and entrusting justice to God. It's
a posture of releasing. I want to be really clear
here to say too that there are things and people
and situations possibly in this room right now
where do not go back to somebody who is causing
abuse. We will talk more about this through the
entire month on forgiveness. Forgiveness does
not mean trust. Forgiveness means a releasing
over to God and saying, I'm going to let you
end up taking care of this, whether it's through
legal means or through the Christian community,
doing what Jesus has called in Matthew 18. So
keep holding on to this teaching as we go through
it for the whole month of July. This is the shape,
though, of what it looks like for us to respond.
These three things. We are to name the debt.
We're to remember the bigger story. And then
we're to release the debt of others. There's
more to that about reconciliation and rebuilding
trust, again, that we will talk about later on.
Biblical forgiveness is the grace -enabled decision
to release someone from my personal right to
collect the debt they owe me because God, through
Christ, has released me from mine. This is why
Jesus says, forgive them their debts as you have
been forgiven. He is reminding us again and again
and again, live daily, moment by moment, in the
forgiveness that he has offered to us. So why
should I forgive? Well, for one thing, because
Jesus commanded us to do it. But another thing,
it is the greatest participation in the kingdom
of God. It is at the heart of this prayer, at
the heart of Jesus' teaching, and he uses this
parable to say the kingdom of heaven is like
this. Brothers and sisters, we need this. We
need a different story than Lamech. We need the
Jesus story to shape our community and we need
it to shape our city and this country and the
world, right? To forgive is to set a prisoner
free and to realize that the prisoner was actually
you. You see, resentment is actually a repeating
and a holding on to something. And when you keep
doing that and you sit there and you have these
repeated thoughts, how many of you have had that
happen? You go through these conversations, oh,
and I'm going to say this and then they said
this and then I'm going to come back here and
you're losing sleep at night going over this
again and again and again. Maybe it's just a
me problem. But I would imagine some of you have
had this. It ends up trapping you and doesn't
allow you to live in the freedom that Christ
has come to offer you. But he doesn't say, I
can do this without justice. He says, I can do
this with justice and with mercy. With forgiveness.
Like oxygen for the body, God's forgiveness is
meant to be breathed in and then breathed out.
We inhale this extravagant grace of God and then
we exhale the same grace towards others. This
is a rhythm of the kingdom. If you're older or
you have some heart problems, I'm asking you
not to do this next part of our time together.
But for the rest of you, here's what I want you
to do. I want you to take a huge breath in. But
before you do that, let me give some more instructions.
So you're going to take a big breath in. And
imagine that that's the gift of forgiveness that
this servant received from the king. But then
I want you to hold on to that breath because
it feels powerful for a moment. Okay, you ready?
Don't breathe until I say, well, no, if you need
to, go for it. I don't want to have to call the
ushers up. You ready? Okay. And for a moment,
it feels kind of like, oh, I've got control.
And then you start panicking. I need to breathe.
Okay, instead of any passing out. This is the
idea, though. If we simply take from the kingdom
of God and receiving without breathing out, we
are not doing what we have been designed to do.
And we will actually slowly suffocate ourselves.
So to participate in the kingdom is to actually
breathe in that forgiveness moment by moment
and then exhale it out again. Inhale, exhale.
Just like you and I were created to do with breathing.
Forgiveness means that forgiven people forgive.
That's why we are called to forgiveness. Now
that Amish community in Nickel Mines, they didn't
wake up one morning, have this tragedy, tragic
event happen, and then respond in this way. They
had been formed in a lifetime of forgiveness.
They had been breathing in the oxygen of forgiveness
and exhaling it out towards other people. Jesus
doesn't give us a checklist for forgiveness.
That's because forgiveness is not an isolated
act of moral heroism. It's not something I wake
up and I say, I forgave. It's a pattern I participate
in moment by moment throughout my life. It's
something I am shaped and formed in. Thank you
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you.