Welcome to ECB's weekly sermon podcast. ECB is
an international church in Bangkok, Thailand,
with dozens of nationalities worshiping together.
We invite you to connect with us from wherever
you are through our website, ecb .asia, or our
mobile app. And now we pray that you are blessed
by this week's sermon. Grace and peace. I journey
through the book of Colossians. What we have
discovered in this study is that God wants us
to experience His grace and His peace as we follow
Him. And that grace and peace has to be experienced
personally, internally, and flowing through our
lives. And the study that we will focus on today
will be peace in the context of our homes. But
before we start and get to that place, let's
pray. Lord, your word is always powerful, relevant,
and we are opening it today with so much excitement
and anticipation. Use it to speak to our hearts,
to ignite within us a desire to follow you and
to obey you. We pray in Jesus' name. Amen. Peace
at home is the session for today in the book
of Colossians. Is your home a place of peace?
What the Apostle Paul has told us so far is that
grace and peace has to first be experienced internally.
You have to be rooted in Christ. You have to
understand that Jesus is God. God, your creator,
he redeemed you. When he died for you, he paid
for all of your sins. You have no fear anymore
of rejection. You have been 100 % reconciled
with God because of what Jesus has done. So you
can just rest in his peace. Just be rooted in
Christ. But... That grace and that peace that
you experience in your life is meant to flow
through you because grace does not stop with
you, it flows through you. And what we learned
last week is that grace is flowing through us
into our relationships. Where we see people,
their faults and their needs, changes. And now
we let the grace of God flow through us and meet
us in that space of relationships. to grace and
peace flowing from us into our home life. And
that's why I asked you at the beginning, is your
home a place of peace? In fact, if I were to
ask you, what would be one word that would describe
your home life growing up? Oh, that's when we
start realizing whether your home was a place
of peace or not. When we ask Nelson that question,
Nelson says, no, my home was just a place of
fights. I remember my father worked for the Air
Force, so he would be traveling lots of the time.
He was pretty much absent. But as a man working
for the military, he was a womanizer. So anytime
he came home, there was fights at home. And he
remembers seeing some plates flying, some dishes
flying while his parents were fighting all the
time. Alcoholism got involved. Mom would get
drunk at some moments to try to deal with her
pain of the adulteries. And that is where he
grew up until he came to know Christ when he
was a teenager, age 14. The truth is that for
many of us, our upbringing was not marked by
a home that was a place of peace. And yet now
we are following Jesus, and now we are called
to let God's grace flow through us into our own
homes. And now we are building our homes, but
is our home a place of peace? Or are we repeating
the same things that we saw in our upbringing?
What the Apostle Paul will do in this section
is that he's going to be very precise addressing
the Christians in Colossae who were mainly Gentiles.
And he is going to help them understand that
following Jesus brings with it a whole different
mindset about our home life. To understand what
he's addressing, we need to look at the background
of the cultural context that has shaped the way
they thought of family life. And this is where
you realize that these Christians of the first
century in this small city in the nation today
called Turkey, that little place called Colossae
was a place where these Christians were shaped
by the Greco -Roman culture. Before they came
to know Christ, their families were functioning
already in light of the culture they came from.
And one of the dominant mindsets about family
life, what was called paterfamilias. And the
goal of this family unit was conceived as a microcosm
of the state. And the primary words that would
describe this kind of mindset was fear. power,
and control. In fact, we have some historical
documents by either historians or philosophers
from all that era of the Roman Empire, early
Roman Empire and later Roman Empire, that shed
light into our understanding of how they thought
of family. And let me take you through some of
them. Now, just to be clear, in case you're new
to church and Christianity and all of that stuff,
what I'm reading is not the Bible. These are
just quotations from historical books that help
us understand the Greco -Roman mindset about
family. Listen to this one from Aristotle. The
first and smallest parts of a household are,
first, master and slave, husband and wife, father
and children, for the male is by nature fitter
for command. Then the female, just as the elder
and full grown, is over the younger and immature.
You notice I highlighted certain words here because
they start giving us the flavor. The husband
was the master and was conceived as a person
to exercise command. Then you have another writing
from Philip of Alexandria. A woman is best when
she is most obedient to her husband. Her life
and behavior are regulated by the will of her
husband. She had to be regulated by the husband.
Therefore, her will is seen as something that
needs to be subdued. She has to obey the husband
because he is the master. Look at Plutarch. A
wife ought not to make friends of her own. but
to enjoy her husband's friends in common with
him. The gods are the first and most important
friends. Therefore, a wife ought to worship and
know only the gods her husband believes in. So
the wife could not have agency. She could not
have friendships. She could not have convictions,
spiritual convictions of her own. She had to
be completely in her personhood, be absorbed
into the personhood of the husband. And look
at this one from Gaius. Our children, whom we
have begotten in lawful marriage, are in our
power. This power is peculiar to Roman citizens,
for there are hardly any other men who have such
power over their children as we have over ours.
The relationship with our children was about
power. And in their context, Our children were
considered our property. They were not just begotten,
we would say, we created them. And they are our
own. To the point that in the earlier Roman history
of the empire, a father had the authority to
even kill the children if he saw fit. Complete
power over the children. Not authority, but power.
So you can start seeing that the mindset of the
Greco -Roman household influenced by this cultural
context. If you were to ask who is the center
of this home, the answer was the husband. He's
the master of this place. And what is the motive
of this home? Well, our motive is civic order
through power and submission. Make sure that
the wife is behaving and the children are obeying.
And he's going to do everything in his power
to make sure that they're subdued. And then what
is the pursuit of this family then? We want to
preserve our reputation. And we want to maintain
order. Because the order in the family is considered
the foundation of the civic order in the Roman
Empire. That's why the family was considered
a microcosm of the Roman state. is how the Christians
in Colossae would have thought of family life.
Now, we come from lots of different cultures,
and depending on the country you came from, the
upbringing you have, you were also shaped by
that cultural understanding of what family life
was like, of what were the roles in that family.
And that's why when the apostle Paul writes to
these Christians in Colossae, he has to tell
them, look, if you're going to experience God's
grace and his peace flowing through you into
your family life, and if your home will be a
home of peace, you will have to start shifting
the way you've been taught. To think about family.
And you will have to start thinking about your
family life. From the perspective of Jesus. If
you are following Jesus. You will have to now
learn Jesus. Shape the way you think of your
home. And now that's why the Apostle Paul will
write this. And now we open the book of Colossians
chapter 3. And see what he says. Guys. If you
are following Jesus, if you want to have his
grace and peace shape your life, this is what
you need to do. Let the message about Christ
in all its richness fill your lives. Don't compartmentalize
your religious life on Sundays and your private
life the rest of the week. No. The word of Christ
in all of his richness fill your lives. Teach,
counsel each other with all the wisdom he gives.
Sing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs to
God with thankful hearts. May God be the center
of your life and your conversations and your
interactions. And whatever you do or say, Do
it as a representative of the Lord Jesus, giving
thanks through him to God the Father. Let this
role of following Jesus and being an outflow
of his grace and his peace permeate every aspect
of your life, whatever you do or say. Remember,
you are representing who? Jesus. Therefore, Wives,
submit to your husband as is fitting for those
who belong to the Lord. You are going to submit
to your husband as an act of obedience to Jesus.
Husbands, you need to love your wives and never
treat them harshly. Loving, we learned last week.
There are many words in Greek and the word that
is here is agape. The word for love. That means
loving sacrificially. Regardless whether the
person deserves it or not. You are going to be
an outflow of God's grace. Because God loves
that person unconditionally. And so will you.
So husband. You are going to love your wife sacrificially
with the same unconditional love that God has
given you. And you are not going to treat your
wife harshly as the master exercising power over
the weaker person. No. Children, always obey
your parents for this pleases the Lord. You're
going to obey them not because you're afraid
of them. You're going to obey them not because
this is good for you and it's convenient. You're
going to obey them because Jesus wants you to
obey them. He calls you to honor your parents.
So you're going to do this out of your allegiance
to Jesus. And parents, fathers, do not aggravate
your children or they will become discouraged.
Do not treat them so harshly that now you're
exercising power over them and treating them
as if they were your property. No. Because that
will make them feel discouraged. Instead, you
will have to learn to love them with the same
love that Jesus has for you. And that's all he
writes to them. Interestingly, if you look at
the map, The city of Colossae was right there,
very close to another Gentile city called Ephesus.
You can see them in the map, very close to each
other. And the Apostle Paul also wrote another
letter to the people in Ephesus. And this was
also one of the letters he wrote from prison.
And interestingly, he tells them something very
similar. Look at what he told the church next
door. He told them, wives, submit yourselves
to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. For
the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ
is the head of the church, his body of which
he is the Savior. The husband is not the master
over this home and exercises power. No, he is
the head of this family, the person who is ultimately
responsible for the health of this home. And
because he is ultimately responsible, then you,
wife, need to respect that role and submit to
his headship. And you do this. out of your respect
for the Lord. Husband, you need to love your
wife just as Christ loved the church and gave
himself up for her. Jesus was willing to die
for the church to bring that salvation. That's
the love of Jesus. So you, husband, you need
to love your wife to the point that you are willing
to die for her well -being. You love her sacrificially.
And he says at the end of this entire section,
each of you also must love his wife as he loves
himself, and the wife must respect her husband.
That's the summary. Husband, love your wife sacrificially
as you will love your own body and your own needs.
Treat her the same. And wife, just respect your
husband. Simple. And he summarizes all of that.
From that angle. To both churches. Telling them
the same thing. Now you can understand. That
for this Christian. In the church of the Colossians.
When he is reading these things. It's like what?
What are you talking about? Me loving? Me being
a head? I'm a master. I have power. I have legal
power. Over my wife. She has no legal voice.
I am her representative in the eyes of the law,
and my children are my property. What are you
talking about? My role as a husband, as the master
and the owner of power here, is to make sure
that I subdue them so I can govern them well,
because that's how we govern this empire. And
now you are telling me... Something about loving,
like Jesus loved. We don't talk about loving
our home. We talk about power and submission.
Yeah. But love? So suddenly, what the Apostle
Paul is writing to them is completely redefining
their perspective and understanding of what life
in home was supposed to be. And unless they understood,
God's design for the home, then that home will
never be a place of peace. Because it will be
a place of fear, power, and control. And in fear,
power, and control, there's no grace, there's
no love, there's no peace. So if you and I want
to make our homes a place of peace, And experience
peace in that realm, we have to first start by
understanding God's design. And the way he does
it is very simple. He says, look Colossians,
fathers, husbands, you think that you are the
master of that home? That you are at the center?
Let me tell you, you are wrong. The Lord of your
home has a name and his name is Jesus. Jesus
is the Lord of your home. And because Jesus is
the Lord of your home, everything that you do
as a husband, everything that you do as a wife,
everything that you do as a child, you are ultimately
accountable to Jesus. So the way you treat your
wife, accountable to Jesus. The way the wife
treats the husband, accountable to Jesus. The
way I treat my children, accountable to Jesus.
Jesus is the Lord of your home if Jesus is your
Savior. Secondly, because you are in Christ and
you have been 100 % reconciled and redeemed,
now both you, husband and wife, are equally valuable
before God's eyes. One of you is not superior
to the other. One of you is not inferior to the
other. You are both equal partners in the gospel.
And you are both called to serve Lord Jesus.
But when I was single, I was not a husband. So
I didn't have to worry about understanding my
role as a husband. When my wife was single, she
was not a wife. She didn't have to worry about
understanding her role and functions as a wife.
But the day that both of you decided to enter
this covenant of marriage, now you who are called
to serve the gospel as equal partners for Christ
have now acquired two different roles. And Pablo,
you as the husband of this household, you have
the role of being ultimately responsible for
the health of this home. And therefore, I'm going
to call you and that role of being ultimately
responsible, the head. So if something goes wrong
in this family, you are the one that I'm going
to sit down to talk to. What did you do about
it? How did you react? Did you pursue me in all
of the things that you were doing at your home?
And wife, because you are serving me, and I have
asked your husband to be ultimately responsible
for this household, I need you to not be controlling
and start treating him as you are in charge,
and you are ultimately responsible, first of
all, because that is not going to bring peace
to you. You are going to be frustrated. So no,
learn to treat him as the one who is ultimately
responsible, and the way you will do this is
by respecting him. Because the moment he feels
disrespected, peace goes out of the window. And
the moment he starts treating you harshly, peace
goes out of the window. So now you both are serving
me, but now you have different roles. So do this
out of reverence for me, because I am the Lord
of this house. And I gave you children. And if
I entrust you with their lives, you have to understand
that these children are my gift to you. They're
not an annoyance, an obstacle for your career
goals. No. They are your first ministry. Because
these children. I'm entrusting to you. So that
you can teach them my way. So they will grow
to know me. And to love me. And to serve me.
I created them. I have plans for them. I will
take care of their future. But you. You are going
to work together. To show my love. And my grace.
Through you into their lives. So they will come
to know me. And love me. And serve me. So children.
Because I am the Lord of this household. You
have to understand that treating your parents
with honor and with respect is not about your
parents. It's about honoring me. Because that
is what I am calling you to do. Honor your father
and your mother. That is the first command with
a promise. This is my design for the family.
And once you understand it. And once you practice
it, then you will start experiencing a very different
kind of peace in your home. And your home will
truly become a place of peace. Wow. It's like
you're talking a whole different language. That
has nothing to do with what we Colossians...
knew about family. It's like I have to learn
a whole new way of thinking on my role, the way
I treat my wife, my children. Wow. Right, because
before, it was a whole different structure. Who
is the center of this Christian household? Well,
Jesus. And what is the motive of this household?
Well, we're here to love Jesus. And what are
we pursuing as a family? Well, to serve God.
So the household of those who are following Jesus
was meant to be not a microcosm of the state,
but a microcosm of the kingdom of light. A microcosm
of the kingdom of Jesus. Where those of us responsible
for this household are loving Jesus, following
Jesus, honoring Jesus. And everything permeates
from there down. Once you see the contrast between
the two, it was at the core, completely different.
And the reason why this matters so much. It's
because, well, nowadays you fast forward 2 ,000
years since this letter to the Colossians was
written. And now we understand so much more about
psychology, about psychiatry, about the way the
brain works, about emotional systems that we
create, about trauma. And the gospel has the
power to meet us there and bring healing into
the deepest parts of our being. And the problem
is that if I grow up or I create a household
that is not after the model of Jesus, it's going
to be dysfunctional. So think about a home where
the father is abusive, where the father is aggressive,
where the father is controlling. That does describe
your home? Well, you can tell that was not a
place of peace, was it? Where the wife is controlling.
Where she disrespects the husband all the time.
And the husband becomes numb and absent and quiet
and disengaged. Does that describe your home?
That's not a place of peace, is it? Imagine a
home where the children are treated harshly all
the time. Where they are never told that they
are loved. They are never told that they are
a gift from God. Children that they survived
abortion attempts. Children that were abandoned
by their parents. Or children that had a home
where the parents were completely disengaged
emotionally. Does that describe your home? Well,
that was not a place of peace, was it? Any change
that you do to the Jesus model of the household
will create... one type of dysfunction or another.
And any household that was shaped by dysfunction
will start shaping dysfunction and trauma in
us. And these words that you see on the screen
summarize many of the wounds and the emotional
paths that we have created as a result of growing
in dysfunctional homes. Suffering from low self
-worth, having poor boundaries, having fear of
intimacy, having issues with mistrust, identity
confusion, chronic anxiety, a sense of helplessness,
low self -confidence, hyper -vigilance, suppressed
voice, fear, insecure attachment, emotional numbness,
anger, aggression, self -blame, shame. Avoidance.
All of these behaviors are rooted to traumas
that we experience in an upbringing of a home
where Jesus was not the Lord. And if this describes
you, now you have to understand why the Apostle
Paul says, Christians, if you're going to follow
Jesus, You need to experience his peace in your
home. And until you start exercising grace in
your homes, and until you make me Lord of your
homes, peace will not follow. And instead of
peace, you will experience these things. So reading
this section makes me ask very important questions,
almost like diagnostic questions for my own life.
And my own effort in building our home in that
direction. Now you have to understand that building
a home where Jesus is Lord. It's almost like
trying to stay healthy as you are aging. Been
there? I'm just starting my journey in that place.
I think it starts after you turn 50. But it's
like very intentional. You have to stay healthy.
And you're always achieving but never arriving.
And building a home where Jesus is Lord is like
that. It's very intentional. You're always achieving
but never arriving. Never lower your guards.
First question. Who is the center of your home?
You? Your children? Your in -laws? Or Jesus?
See, Nelson came to know Jesus when he was 14.
So all of his life, he did not know what it was
like to have a home where Jesus was the Lord.
What was the center of his home was emotions
and feelings from a failed marriage that was
going all over the place. That was at the center.
So when... He came to know the Lord and then
he got married when he was 19. To his 21 year
old wife. Yes, they were crazy. Super early as
they started their family. And Nelson says, you
know, I did not know what I was doing. I had
never seen a home where Jesus was Lord. But I
was so desperately needed Jesus to be Lord of
our home. So when we got married. One of the
first things I pray, I say, Jesus, I do not know
how to do this, but I'm inviting you into my
home because I do not know how to do it. Be the
center of this family. And sometimes some of
the most powerful prayers are the ones that are
the least eloquent. It's just... This despair
of recognition. I have no idea how to be the
head of this household. I do not know how to
love sacrificially. I do not know what it's like
to be told you are loved. So I do not know what
it's like to tell my children that I love them.
I have no idea. But I'm inviting you, Jesus,
to be the Lord of this home. Who is the center?
The second question is, what is your motive?
Are you doing this because you are loving God?
And therefore in this household we do what we
do because in this household we love God? Or
our motive is to make sure that we grow older
with more money. And therefore everything we
do is just to make sure that these children are
successful in school. elementary and then high
school and then college and get a good career
so they can get a good check when they start
working is that the motive or is the motive that
no i want my children to become successful and
that they are there because they are my security
blanket as we call it because when i grow older
they are the ones that are going to take care
of me so are you Leading your home for selfish
motives? For your own love rather than the love
of God? The third question. Does your spouse
feel loved? I remember that when I was in my
first year of marriage. We both loved Jesus.
We both believed in Jesus. We both were studying
in seminary our master's degrees so that we could
serve Jesus in ministry. That was a household
in which we got married and we invited Jesus
to be the center when we started at the beginning
of our marriage. But one day, my wife showed
me these pants that she got very good deal, discounted.
And then she was so excited because they fit
so well. And this was like a great pair of pants.
And she was working full time at that time when
we were going to seminary. And one day I thought,
you know what, I'm going to help her. You know,
she's very busy, so I'm going to do laundry.
So I took the laundry, I did the laundry, put
the stuff in the washing machine, then the dryer
machine, then I got everything. And I was so
loving. Until she came home and started looking
at the clothes and she tried to put her pants
on that they would no longer fit because they
shrunk. And at that moment, she let me know that
she was not happy with my decision of not reading
like any normal person would do. The description
in the pants that says, do not put in the dryer.
And she took those pants and she stood in front
of me and she said, You shrunk my pants. And
at that moment, I got so upset that I stopped
talking to her for about three days. There's
a video that is in right now media that is called
The Crazy Cycle. And one of the things that the
pastor says, you know, one of the things we discover
in marriage is that when we enter in conflict,
When the husband feels disrespected, he reacts
in ways that are harsh and make the wife feel
unloved. And when the wife feels unloved, she
reacts in ways that are disrespectful and they
make the husband feel disrespected. And when
the husband feels disrespected, he starts reacting
in ways that are harsh and make her feel unloved.
And when she feels unloved, She reacts in ways
that are disrespectful, and I can go on forever.
That's why it's called the crazy cycle. And that's
one of the things that we learn in that first
year of marriage. That if even saying Jesus is
the center of our home, we had a Christian wedding,
we love God, we are here to serve Him, that doesn't
mean that we know how to love each other. And
I can be a harsh husband, and she can be a disrespectful
wife. We all have that potential within us. That's
why what Paul says is like, husbands, don't be
harsh with them. Wives, don't be disrespectful
with them. That is not how you're going to experience
peace. And thankfully, when Jesus is the center
and the Holy Spirit starts convicting you, you
come together and you apologize. And you say,
what I did was wrong. I should not have treated
you that way. Please forgive me. This is not
honoring to God. And at the end, we pray together.
And we acknowledge before God that we have failed
at doing the things according to his design.
And we rest in his grace and his forgiveness
so that his peace can flow into our home. Does
your spouse feel loved? That's perhaps a question
that you have to ask your spouse. Do your children
feel loved? That's another important question.
Because even though we love our children, we
can be harsh with them. And yeah, every time
that we had a new child that we welcomed into
our home, we were thankful to God and we had
a dedication service and we dedicated those children
to God. And our children are a gift from the
Lord. And we tell them all the time that we love
them. We want them to know that they are not
an inconvenience into our lives or a disruption.
They're a gift from God. But even though that
is true, there are moments in which I have lost
my temper. I have gotten frustrated. I want to
remember that in our home in Dallas one day,
I got so upset I was in the bathroom while one
of my sons was taking a shower. And he had a
sassy attitude. And I got so upset and I don't
know what it is about my emotional makeup that
whenever I feel angry, I just feel it here. It's
like I want to, oh, I just want to hit something.
You know, it's like that's where the energy comes
out from. So maybe you're like that too. It's
like other people want to just yell or whatnot.
Not me. I'm very cool. But that's where. And
I remember that day I went like this on the wall,
and I made a hole in the wall. And we were like
all shocked. And thankfully it was behind where
the towel, where we were hanging the towels.
It was like, put the towel back there. Until
we got it fixed. But even something like so simple
can mark your child. And your child can feel
now intimidated rather than respected and inspired
and loved. Do your children feel loved? Do your
parents feel loved? Because you may be a grown
-up child now, but you're still, The child of
your parents. And God says in my design you are
called to honor your parents. Not because they
are good parents. But because without them you
wouldn't exist. You owe your very existence to
that mother and to that father. And therefore
you have to treat them with honor. And if they
were bad parents you would have to let my grace
flow. Through you so that you will let me love
them through you. With my love flowing through
you. Do your parents feel loved? And finally,
have you forgiven your family? Because all of
these dysfunctions that we have discovered are
rooted in growing up in a household where Jesus
was not the Lord and peace was not present. All
of these behaviors are connected to some of the
roots of bitterness that these things create.
And that's why in Colossians, in the previous
verses, the Apostle Paul said you need to forgive.
But in Hebrews, it talks about this very specifically.
And I would like to add to this study almost
like an appendix. Based on what I have learned
in working with followers of Jesus in the privacy
of the counseling office, if you are marked by
a family in your upbringing that was not a place
of peace, where Jesus was not Lord, if you carry
any woundedness from there, this is for you.
Would you read this aloud with me? A couple of
verses. Make every effort to live in peace with
everyone and to be holy. Without holiness, no
one will see the Lord. See to it that no one
fails short of the grace of God and that no bitter
root grows up to cause trouble and defile many.
Make every effort to live in what? Peace with
whom? Everyone. Be holy. A line to God's design.
And therefore, do not miss the grace of God as
a channel. Do not choose to say, no, God, I don't
want your grace to flow through me. No, don't
miss God's grace. Let that grace flow through
you. Do not choose to let bitterness take over.
Because bitterness will cause trouble and defile
many. And this is how that works. Let me show
you as a graphic these things. When you feel
hurt, you are going to react one of two ways.
The most common way which is being addressed
here is that you are going to feel hurt and you're
going to have bitterness and you're going to
become reactive and you're going to give them
what they deserve. And what they deserve is that
you stop talking to them for three days. What
they deserve is that you throw your pants in
front of them. What they deserve is that you
yell at them and make a hole in the wall. That's
what they deserve. Whenever you feel hurt, you're
going to react in ways that are not God's peace.
And that, in turn, is going to create turmoil
within you and it's going to come out. It's going
to contaminate your relationships. And that,
as a result, is going to get you stuck into all
these emotions that are within you. Anger, rage,
brawling, slander, malice, all of these things
now are within you. And now you compromise because
you are under spiritual oppression. You have
given the devil a foothold. And this is the path
of bitterness. The path of grace, when you are
a channel of God's grace, is very different.
Grace is proactive and gives people what they
need. And what they need is not that I stop talking
to them. What they need is that I engage and
that I listen and that I apologize. That is what
they need. Giving people what they need, regardless
of what they deserve, can only be done when we
are loving sacrificially. And that is being aligned
with the Holy Spirit. Therefore, if I have been
hurt in any way by my upbringing, and I'm suffering
from any of these unhealthy emotions that are
controlling me, That is a sign that these roots
of bitterness need to come out. And the only
way that they come out is by me forgiving. And
forgiving is not saying, oh, everything is fine,
Lord. I forgive him now. It's okay. No. Forgiveness
is coming face to face with your pain, with your
anger. It's allowing yourself to enter that space
you are trying to avoid. And you tell God, God,
I hate my father for what he did to me. Why would
he speak to me that way? If he really loved me,
he would have never said that. Ah, now you're
taking business. Now you're becoming vulnerable
with the Lord. But after you get in touch with
that anger before the Lord, now you're able to
get it all out. Spit it out. Vomit it out. Say
it exactly as it is. While you are feeling. While
you are thinking. Let it out. If you need to
hit the pillow. Hit the pillow. Just don't make
a hole in the wall. Because you will have to
pay for the repair. Tell the Lord everything
that you are feeling. But after you have come
face to face with your anger. And with your resentfulness.
And with every hurt that you have. Now you can
tell the Lord, but Lord, I'm giving you this
pain. I don't want this bitterness in my life.
I forgive it in the name of Jesus. Take it. That
is what forgiveness looks like. It's not avoiding
your anger. It's not numbing it. It's coming
face to face with it and letting it out of your
system in God's presence because he's the only
one that heals the brokenhearted and bandages
their wounds. So if you have found yourself stuck
on the bottom of this graphic, the only way that
you will align yourself with God's grace and
restore peace in your home is by entering into
the path of forgiveness. That is how that works.
Let me give you a couple of resources. If you
want to learn more about things you are facing
in your family, there is a ministry called Focus
on the Family. They have a website, focusonthefamily
.com. They have a YouTube channel, Focus on the
Family. Excellent source for Christian resources
to help in your marriage and your parenting.
Everything about family you will find there.
Secondly, In Right Now Media, as I mentioned
earlier, as a church, we sponsor a free account
for anyone here. If you don't have your Right
Now Media account, it's like a Netflix account,
but with Christian studies, movies, documentaries.
And within that, there's a crazy cycle. So if
you are in a marriage, go there, check the crazy
cycle. It's a short couple of sessions. It will
tell you how to break the cycle of reacting harshly
and reacting disrespectfully. Fascinating, simple,
yet very relevant. Thirdly, just in a few weeks
from now, August 23rd, we will begin the new
season of the marriage course. The marriage course
meets on Saturdays here. We provide a nice dinner.
It's video -based. Time for you to spend time
with your spouse in reflecting about your marriage
and growing in your relationship. We will open
registration. In the upcoming days. But these
things get filled quickly. So remember this is
coming soon. And I want you to be aware of it.
So after giving you those resources. Let me conclude
this study by simply saying this. First. Why
don't you take time to invite Jesus. To be the
center of your home. If you have never done so.
She said, yeah, Pastor Paolo, but my spouse is
not a believer. So Jesus cannot be the center
of our home. Well, Jesus is the center of your
life. And Paul told the Corinthians, if you are
married to an unbeliever, you are God's presence
in that home. And God has the power to use you,
his presence in that home, to bring salvation
eventually. So invite Jesus to be the center
of your home. And I'm so thankful that even though
Nelson grew up in a home where there was fights
and adultery and all these things, as a 19 -year
-old, he prayed, God, I do not know how to do
this, but be the center of this home, because
that was my home. And Nelson was my father, is
my father. God can redeem any story, and he can
use you. to bring transformation in your home
in ways that you do not imagine. Would you invite
Jesus today to be the center of your home? And
secondly, would you invite God to encounter you
in your bitterness and enter into that space
of forgiving your family, forgiving your parents,
forgiving your in -laws, forgiving your siblings,
anyone that has hurt you in your home? Would
you bring it to the cross and let the grace of
God flow through you? That is what the Apostle
Paul wants us to experience, his grace and his
peace in our homes. So I do not know you, but
I'm done with making holes in the wall. I'm done
with doing the cold treatment. I'm done being
the Lord of my home. I need Jesus to be the Lord
of my home. Is he? Father, you have the power
to transform not only our lives, but to redeem
our homes. And we intercede for our homes. We
intercede for our marriages, for our parents,
for our children. Teach us what it's like to
be a home of peace. So that in this place, you
indeed are the center. In the powerful name of
Jesus, we pray. Amen. If God is calling you to
support our ministries, you will find giving
options on our website. And remember to join
us next week. God bless you.