Last time, our heroes claimed victory over the goblin infestation.
However, the rescue of Syldor Hellwinter is as victorious as it may be.
Without Gundren Rockseeker, their quest is far from over.
The mystery of the glowing goblin gnaws at their minds an unnatural, eerie glow that
hints at something darker lurking in the shadows.
Who or what is pulling the strings behind these strange creatures?
The road ahead is uncertain, but one thing is clear.
It's time to sharpen their blades, steal their minds, and prepare for whatever comes next.
Aventure calls, and fate has already rolled the dice.
Are you ready to roll for initiative?
All right.
What's up?
What's up, everybody?
Welcome to the Forge and Fable podcast.
Yeah, we sit here and play some D&D 5e.
We are playing the Phandelver and Below the Shattered Obelisk campaign.
And my fellow friends here at the table, we have...
Well, we go by different names.
We have names, and then we have our game names.
So we have Rosh, who's playing Bishop.
And then sitting next to Rosh, we have Super, or I'm Super Low, playing Emreys.
And then to his left, we have Croker, who's playing Marin.
And finally, sitting back behind all of us, we have Abogaba playing Korrin.
And I made all of that up because we're on Discord, and none of us are sitting by each
other.
We're sitting by each other.
There's a really, really long distance between chairs.
Giant table.
Some chairs are a little bit closer than other chairs.
The biggest table you've ever seen.
Oh, geez.
What a good episode we had last time.
Good sesh.
I feel like it was the climax to the dungeon crawl.
We made it to the BBG, the little mini boss, BBG.
You know what I really enjoyed about this dungeon?
Is that we started in a dungeon.
Too many times when you listen to Dungeons and Dragons podcasts and stuff, you may go
until level 10 before they ever step a foot in a dungeon.
That's half the name of the game as Dungeons and Dragons.
Oh, yeah.
Throw some more shade, Abbo.
I like it.
So.
What's that?
Kill the bonfire?
Emreys can't see.
Yeah, that was funny.
So for the people listening, we're playing on Foundry, I think, right?
Oh, yeah.
Foundry.
Yeah.
Foundry.
Foundry, b, t, t.
And the GM.
Sponsor us.
Yeah, right.
The GM can set what your character sees.
And when the fire goes out, my character, well, can't see.
It's pretty fantastic.
You got line of sight.
You got all sorts of cool stuff.
What you get for being the only silly human in the party.
I know.
What an idiot.
Just kidding.
So what do you guys, let me ask you this.
What's, what do you think the most ridiculous thing
you would buy if you're given a million dollars right now?
What would be like the most ridiculous thing you would buy?
Most ridiculous?
Yeah, like you just got a million bucks.
What are you gonna go get?
Just ridiculous.
Like I got the money, I could buy that.
Huh, I would probably go get a large period,
like pavilion, like tent.
So I do the SCA reenactment stuff.
And it's a bit of a drag camping
in a mundane modern tent at these events.
So I have a group of friends who I think just spent
like $4,000 on one, but it's got like a 22 by 22 footprint
or something, it's bigger than some apartments I've lived in.
I'm pretty sure.
Wow.
I imagine you go out and spend 40 grand on one
that would just show them up, make them feel silly.
They can set up their tent in my tent.
Yours is like a three story.
It's like a big old circus tent.
He needs like 10 people just to put it together.
You know, my wife treats my dog like a prince already,
but I would probably just buy him like the craziest stuff
for no reason.
That's cool.
Get him like a massaging dog bed.
Yup.
Have you seen those?
I'll buy him a masseuse.
Have you seen those dog washing machines?
No.
Get him one of those dog washing machines.
It's stuck on the spin cycle.
Oh.
I don't know why it popped in my head.
Mine's really silly.
You guys ever see Wayne's World?
Yeah. Oh yeah.
You know, in their little gremlin car,
they got that liquorice dispenser up there
on the roof of the car?
Yeah, dude.
Yeah, I want one of those.
I'm totally buying it.
I don't know why.
Red vines are delicious.
How about this, red vines or red liquorice?
Where are you guys at on this?
Red vines.
Oh, we have a divide.
I'm a red vines person too.
Croaker, what?
What's the difference?
Red liquorice or red vines?
A Twizzler or a red vine?
Red vine, 100%.
Oh yeah, I'm not doing a Twizzler.
It's not red liquorice.
It's red vines all the way then.
All right.
Yeah, if you're eating a Play-Doh.
If you're eating a Twizzler,
it's like eating a cherry chapstick.
That is so appropriate.
At what point is it just plastic?
Yeah.
Twizzler, you can sponsor us too.
We still love you, Twizzler.
We appreciate that money.
Who's left on the ridiculous purchases?
Super, did you go?
No, I haven't gone yet, but I can't really think of ridiculous stuff.
I'd want to invest it so I would never have to work again.
But we're going to have to do it.
No, it'd have to be ridiculous.
I mean, my liquorice dispenser would be that ridiculous.
It's just a ridiculous thing.
No boring answer, buddy.
I don't know.
I would maybe build a rock wall to climb on at the house,
but that sounds kind of boring.
No, that's actually pretty cool, dude.
I don't know.
That's pretty cool.
I don't think it's ridiculous, but I think that's pretty dang cool.
I think I'd get me...
I'm afraid to look at what Croaker just posted in the Discord.
It's a bear.
Google dog wash machine.
Can I wash that dog?
Your dog looks an awful lot like a brown bear.
Can I wash that dog?
I think I'd buy a castle and a cannon,
and I think I would launch it on the hour every hour.
You're going to launch it at Super's Rock Wall?
I mean, you're only getting a million bucks to do that, though.
I mean, you're going to get kind of a small castle.
A castle in this economy?
There's the Cali for sale not far from where TK lives,
and it's on a 400-acre plot.
It's only a two-bedroom, two-bath, but it's a legit castle.
But it's like one and a quarter mile, so...
Dude, if you guys house...
I literally grew up around the block from a castle.
I'll post pictures so you guys can see it.
But I literally grew up just around the corner from a castle,
so I've always wanted to live in a castle.
It would be pretty cool.
I think we touched on this a little bit, too,
about places we'd go, want to stay at.
One of my SCA friends went to a historical reenactment event
in a castle in Austria, I believe.
Pretty neat.
Can I Airbnb out your castle?
There's some D&D in a castle.
I'm going to get some real shit.
That would be cool.
It would be.
You know you can rent a castle to play D&D in?
You can rent castles.
I believe it.
Coming in now at our highest Patreon subscription tier level.
You can sponsor our trip to a castle game,
and you can sit in on the game with us.
Hey, yeah.
Let's do that.
That would be cool.
And just to be clear, we don't currently have anything like that.
We're just a handful of dudes hanging out, dreaming.
We can dream.
I have a dream.
It all starts with a dream, right?
Yeah.
If you don't dream big, you'll never get anything.
So what you're saying is a haunted castle?
The picture I'm about to show you, you'll
think this fucking castle's haunted, man.
I literally took this back, I think it was two years ago,
when I went back to Ohio for a week, I took pictures of the castle
and about to post it on Discord as soon as I could find it.
And you'll straight up like, dude, that's haunted.
Here it is.
I have a ridiculous idea.
You roll a 20 and a gust of wind comes by and blows it to 1.
I hear castles are drafty.
I want to change my idea from the rock wall to getting a pool
and then putting a slide from the roof to the pool.
I think that would be pretty ridiculous and cool.
All right, you should be seeing the castle now.
Slide?
Like a metal one?
Oh, yeah.
So it's under your butt?
Yeah, 100% in the sun.
Put a rock wall coming out of the pool.
Oh my.
They have that.
I don't know.
That's the first.
You can fall off, you're not dead.
That reminds me of that one show with the keys and shit
where they're getting killed or something
and it was all over keys.
They gave them superpowers.
I don't know.
I love Netflix.
Are you talking about Lock and Key?
Yeah, that one.
Maybe.
I think I saw the first season.
I didn't follow it after that.
But that whole picture reminds me of that.
Oh, yeah.
I'm such a loser.
I don't really watch shows, but I was watching Castlevania
on Netflix again.
I'm almost done with the last season of that.
And dude, I like that.
That's cool.
A lot of people are like, oh, it's an American anime.
It's not that great.
You know what?
Shut up.
Just stop.
I like it.
You know who else is really big on anime is the Mexicans.
Down in Mexico, it's huge.
You should see Samuel L. Jackson's interview
about how he thinks anime is superior to American television.
Is it really big down in Mexico, though?
Yeah, it's huge.
Oh, yeah.
A lot of them grew up with Dragon Ball Z and stuff.
I've seen videos on Instagram where
they're doing parades where the chicks are all
dressed in the Saiyan battle armor,
just kind of dancing down the street.
Bleach is really popular down in Mexico, too,
especially since a lot of it uses Spanish names and stuff
throughout the anime.
My son is super into Dragon Ball Z.
We got him all the seasons on Blu-ray.
And he binged him.
He marathoned it.
He had this 10-year-old in his room, just reliving
my childhood.
And I was telling him, I was like, you know,
when I was your age, I used to have to wait a whole week
for the next episode to come out.
That's what you got to do to him.
You got to get him a 19-inch tube TV that sometimes
goes into black and white.
And you just bang the top of it.
Wake him up early on Sunday morning.
You're going to miss the episode, bro.
Yeah, you only have this 30-minute window to catch it.
At like 12, 30 in the morning, if you turn it to channel 0,
0, you can get the Playboy channel.
But it would come in all purple and distorted.
And it'd be slowly scrolling up on the screen.
And you just bang the TV.
And you'd get a still image for a second.
You're like, oh, yeah, cool.
And then it would just distort again.
But yeah, he's in there binging these shows.
And I'm like, yeah, I'd have to wait a whole week
for it to come out.
And then they'd put the filler episode in,
where they weren't even in the combat or anything.
They'd just burn a whole week.
You'd just watch some stupid thing
that Chi-Chi or Bulma would be running around doing.
Yeah, I remember 5 was WB, because I got LA channels.
5 was WB, 11 was Fox, and then UPN 13.
And then we'd watch either 5 or 11 for the morning cartoons.
And when that stupid history cartoon came on,
I knew it was time to go outside.
Leap was for the bus ride.
And you guys remember Infomercials?
Oh, yeah.
You remember hitting that time at night
when Cartoon Network would just turn over
into the Infomercial channel.
And you're like, ah, no.
Or Nickelodeon started playing Nick at night.
And you're like, yeah, damn it.
Guess I'm watching Happy Days for the next three hours.
I just turned down the volume and used that as my white noise
for sleeping.
I think they took advantage of that, especially Tsunami,
for like 3 AM.
Tsunami was good.
Tsunami was the shit.
I don't remember Infomercials on Cartoon Network.
I think Cartoon Network was G and just played
old Hanna-Barbera stuff.
Oh, yeah, they did.
They had, remember Space Ghost, Coast to Coast?
Yeah.
Space Ghost.
Remember that shit with Zorak, dude?
Oh, it was good, man.
Kids these days, they don't know.
They don't know.
Hercules, Winstones, Jetsons.
He'd play Birdman.
Remember the cartoon that would come on on Space Ghost?
Birdman.
Harvey Birdman.
Or what was the one with Johnny Bravo?
I always loved that one on Cartoon Network.
I was thinking of.
Johnny Quest.
Johnny Quest, that's what I was trying to take over.
Yeah.
That one's only slightly racist now.
And the Venture Brothers.
It's OK.
Back then, it wasn't racist.
It's fine.
Samson was the shit.
They'd always play Speed Racer during that time, too.
So it'd be like Johnny Quest, and then Speed Racer
would come on.
Oh.
Lupin?
Lupin was in there?
Lupin 13.
Lupin.
Oh, yeah.
I don't know that one.
Yeah, I don't know.
The Detective one?
Yeah.
Pretty good.
It's like Speed Racer looking artwork.
There was a Mummy's one, too.
That was cool.
How about like cartoons they could never play again?
Like nowadays, it'd be like Rocco's Modern Life.
Momma and Disney.
Pretty much any Disney prior to like 10 years ago.
Ren and Stimpy, yeah.
But I mean, they play Rick and Morty.
Rick and Morty's fantastic.
That's true.
Yeah.
I don't know what's going on.
Go back and watch some of those old Disney ones,
like Mickey Mouse and stuff, and just see how racist
and how sexist and stuff they are.
It's mind boggling.
Those were the days.
Don't ruin my childhood, Evo.
It's a kids show, but you got murder hobos like,
kill the rabbit.
I think they got rid of like Oscar the Grouch from Sesame
Street because he was a homeless dude in a trash can.
I could be wrong there, but I'm pretty sure they got rid of him.
Did they?
I'm not surprised they got rid of him.
I don't think Snuff Luffman is a good guy.
I don't think he's a good guy.
I'm surprised they got rid of him.
Like in Sacramento or San Francisco.
What happened to all the homeless people?
They got rid of him.
Fell asleep in the garbage can, and the garbage man
came, picked it up.
End of story.
Never saw him again.
That was it.
You guys want to play a little D&D?
Yeah.
We could probably just sit and banter this whole time.
I feel like this is good content.
I'd sit and listen to this.
All right, well, where do we leave off?
Yeah, that's right.
That's right.
You killed all my NPC.
They will be sorely missed.
You still killed NPCs.
I don't want to play anymore.
Next time on Forge and Fable.
So the key.
That episode.
We start out with a dark screen in front of us, our vision.
We can see a black wall.
And in that black wall, we see the shimmer.
And the shimmer begins to glow as if it were
lit by like a flame that's dancing.
Get closer in, we can see the shimmer as a key.
And it's flipping in the air as it's coming towards us.
Just before it reaches us, a hand flies up in the air
and catches the key.
And it's Emras.
He's grabbed the key that was thrown to him by Korin
off the neck of Klaag.
Find yourself standing in front of a chest
that you think is totally fine.
No, we don't.
Did they check it?
They have.
Oh, OK.
We're going to drop some perceptions, search for traps.
I'm helping.
Just go for it.
You're fine.
I'm waiting for the DM to tell me to.
You got a key.
I mean, I'm going to help with the investigation.
Do we turn it to the left or the right?
I don't know.
I've never seen it.
The direction that doesn't trigger the trap.
Yeah, that's the best one.
All right, we'll cream it in there, I guess.
Wait, weren't we going to investigate first?
You jam the key in and you turn it.
OK.
That's upside down, you fool.
The lid opens, revealing a giant poisonous cloud that comes out
and kills you all.
There's a black ooze.
The lid opens within the insides of this chest
you find 1,700 copper pieces.
$1.
And it was sounding great until I said copper, right?
150 silver pieces.
It gets a little better.
Less gold than the copper.
Two potions of healing.
God, I thought maybe you guys get a little excited about those.
Those are very nice.
And a jade statuette of a frog with tiny golden orbs for eyes.
The croaker.
It's a croaker.
You guessed this thing's probably worth around 40 gold.
Croaker, you see that.
You're like, that thing's 40 gold.
I know my croakers when I see them.
And the frog statuette can fit in a pocket or a pouch.
Small enough to fit in your pocket.
Other than that, some cobwebs, some pocket lids,
old sausage links all half chewed.
So 150 silver pieces.
I'm writing it down.
You don't got to...
Hey Yeezy, where would Sildar's gear have gone?
They might have taken it, dude.
They might have taken it with Gundren.
The green energy goblins you mentioned, eh?
No, dude.
I'm thinking that they took it to the higher ups.
You know what I mean?
What? What they want with them?
Not the green energy goblins.
No, I think what he means...
Excuse me while I tuck in my small intestine.
Stop being dramatic.
Sorry.
I remember seeing these strange goblins as well.
They're the ones that got the upper hand of me and Gundren
in the first place.
But I'm not certain.
I think what he's referring to is the Kragmaw castle.
Fine.
That's where the spider makes his home.
I know that Klaag had his orders coming from the spider,
but I'm not certain if the spider operates from Kragmaw castle.
However, I do know that they intended to take Gundren
to the Kragmaw castle.
That was part of this plan delivered from the spider.
It appears that Gundren and his brothers had discovered a map
showing the location to the secret Wave Echo Cave.
Are any of you familiar with the Wave Echo Cave?
Can I throw some history?
Sure.
You got it.
I got an 18 on the die.
I got a 27.
We zoom in on Rin's face.
That upon Klaag's throne.
We see half of his skull caved in, a slight bruise,
just under his right eye, his tattoo.
Minor damage.
Minor.
With blood coming down and a fog settles in that takes us
into a dream sequence.
Although this isn't a dream sequence,
this is a lore dub.
Nice.
More than 500 years ago, plans of dwarves and gnome
made an agreement known as the Phandelver Pact, by which they
would share a rich mine in the wondrous caverns known
as the Wave Echo Cave.
In addition to its mineral wealth, the mine contained
great magical power.
Human spellcasters allied themselves with dwarves and gnomes
to channel and bind that energy into a great forge called
the Forge of Spells, where magic items could be crafted.
Times were good, and the nearby town of Phandalin
prospered as well.
But disaster struck when bandits swept through the north
and laid waste to all on their path.
A powerful bandit force, reinforced
by evil mercenary wizards, attacked the Wave Echo Cave
to seize its riches and magic treasure.
Human wizards fought alongside their dwarf and gnome allies
to defend the Forge of Spells, and the ensuing spell battle
destroyed much of the cavern.
Few survived the caverns and tremors,
and knowledge of the location of the Wave Echo Cave was lost.
For centuries, rumors of buried riches
have attracted treasure seekers and opportunists
to the area of Phandalin, but no one has ever
been able to locate the lost mine.
In recent years, people resettled in the area,
and Phandalin's now grown into a rough and tumble frontier town.
Now we kind of fade back out, and you realize it's been
still dark and talking all the time.
Recently, a trio of dwarves, as you know,
as the Rockseeker Brothers, discovered
the entrance to this cave.
They intended to reopen the mines,
but it seems unfortunately for them,
they're not the only ones interested in the mine.
It seems the spider knows something of it.
It's gone to a great deal of effort to get that map,
and fairly certain roaches showed me
a picture of a bat in a tumble.
Oh, shit.
That's gonna be AFK for a minute.
He's out killing Dracula.
He's just reloading.
I didn't get that quest.
Remember, silver and bring a wooden stake.
He's got a bat in his house.
He's not aware.
He's like, sorry, I need a minute.
It's the next season of Castlevania.
We're all listening in on the podcast.
Not a big deal, really.
Just one of our guys has a bat, you know,
flying around his house. He's battling.
He'll be fine.
Hey, man, how much HP do you have going into that battle?
Looks like you've rolled a pretty good dexterity check.
Right.
Caught that bugger.
Yeah.
And I don't know, I'd take bats over the shit
that gets at my house.
I'm tired of barked scorpions, man.
Oh, this is scary.
All right.
That was the Lord, don't.
I think my grandfather told me stories of this cave.
Seems...
Seems they've taken Gundren and this map.
Likely my gear as well, keep me from having it.
They did fancy it.
It's a gift given to me.
I think our path be clear, no?
We retrieve our horse and carriage,
pack up as much of this as we can,
and head to Van Dahlen.
See if we can find our way to this Kragmaw castle.
Learn more about this spider.
I think we deserve a good rest, too.
Some of us are not in good shape, yes.
Aye, on that I can agree.
For the time being, we might want to make the journey
to get our horse and cart, it's been left unattended too long, as it is.
Yes.
Can you, I'll scout ahead so we don't come on any unneeded
contact, and we also need to pick up our camping supplies outside.
That you can do.
Before we head off to retrieve our stuff, can I drop...
I don't know what it is.
It used to be a knowledge local and older, this or additions.
It'd be a little Pathfinder term, too.
Yeah, is it history to know?
I want to know more about the Lion Shield coasters.
Is that what you called them?
Yeah, I mean, you can roll me a little history on that.
Oh, rolling 18s on history all day.
23?
Um, so...
Looking at the...
Dude, bro, did you kill Dracula?
Dracula's man.
That's the little guy outside, right?
I'll drive him to the parkway.
I'm pretty sure they eat skeeters, so you want to keep them around.
Oh, God, can you bring it over here, please?
Not in my house.
No, you can let it go in my house.
I don't care. Just keep the skeeters out of here.
What'd I miss?
A Lion Shield coasters.
Yeah, you would gather, looking at this,
that this is some sort of establishment.
You don't really know of it too well, so I imagine
Sildar would see you inspecting it, kind of staring at it,
trying to figure it out, and he would just chime in.
He'd say,
that they're marked with the image of the blue lion.
It's a symbol of the Lion Shield coasters.
It's a merchant company with a warehouse and a trading post of vandalism.
Run by Lenin Greywind.
Lenin Greywind, please?
Well, I'm terrible at spelling better with a long sword.
If I took a guess at it, it's L-I-N-E-N-E?
Lenin?
Lenin.
Or is it L-I-N-E?
Lenin?
L-I-N-E.
I'm going to stick with Lenin.
Greywind?
Greywind.
That's with an A, not the...
I make that mistake all the time.
They're both correct, technically.
One's just British, not if it's a last...
I suppose.
It's a merchant company that has a warehouse and a storefront in Vandalin.
Is that what you said?
Yes, it's a warehouse trading post in Vandalin.
Run by Lenin Greywind.
Right.
And she'd probably be pretty interested in getting all these crates back.
There might even be an additional reward in it, if we can manage.
Yes, I believe so.
Sorry, I went Scottish Dwarf on you there for a second.
It's quite contagious.
Welcome to my world.
Right.
Very contagious.
Shall we then go retrieve our horse and carriage?
Do we want to leave an A1 behind to hold down the fort here?
Sildar is the worst for where, no?
I'm sure I could spend the next five minutes tucking my intestines back in.
Seems like we hit the floor now.
I think we're gonna need a long rest.
I agree we need a long rest, but I think we've left our horse and cart out there for like 24 hours now.
I would say it was closer to what, like 10 hours, but yeah.
I don't know.
I mean, it's like a couple hours jump through the wood to get it and bring it here.
Well, we have two horses and two oxen and a cart out there.
Yes.
Yeah, we should go check on them.
So, I don't want to be like buzzkill or nothing.
Look, I can't thank you guys enough for not making my head explode
or wrapping me up in these crazy vines, not making me a victim of the dirt wizard,
throwing me to the dogs here.
And Yeezy approaches you, Emerus, and he hands you 10 gold pieces.
I'm gonna decline.
You keep that.
You keep that. You're probably gonna need it to keep away from thievery.
I know. Hand it here.
And he also hands you a potion of healing.
So, and he's like looking down at the ground.
He's kind of like picking a little pebble with his foot.
I don't really gots anywhere to go.
I'm kind of here all alone now.
I don't really want to stick around.
I was thinking maybe I could come along with you guys.
I don't know if that's wise because where we need to go is exactly from the peep or towards the people that you've been stealing from.
I don't see it being much of a problem if he wears the disguise.
We may need somebody to help us attend to stuff.
You're being serious right now.
I mean, I'm tired of robbing the caravans.
I think he's proven his worth.
He's mighty handy with the sword or the scimitar.
And then I gesture over to his decapitated friend.
And he can also work as a scout for us.
Wren rubs his hand through his hair and down through his beard, dug him up to bit.
That's such a big sigh.
I want no part of it.
If you want to take him on, you're for problem, yeah?
I just nod at Wren.
Then I turn back to studying these lion shield coaster credits muttering under my breath.
Well, it's a group vote.
I mean, he's going to have to hang out with us.
Maybe we take him as far as another group of goblins that are willing to take him on.
I don't see handing him over to other goblins as a good thing.
I just don't think he has much of a life with us
because where we need to go is probably dangerous.
What we might need though as a messenger and having someone to run messages for us
may be useful.
Or someone scouting where we cannot easily go would be useful.
I'm not against it, but I just don't see it ending well.
I don't see what he would gain from crossing us.
No, I'm not afraid of that.
He's proven his trust, I guess.
He's a reliable fighter and has been honest with us from the beginning
and has helped us tremendously in here.
So I am grateful for that.
I just fear for his safety.
I mean, his safety is in danger no matter where he goes.
I ask a quick out of character question about the setting.
Are there city goblins?
Like, accepted citizens of society goblins?
Throughout the source coast, yes.
I would say I don't think any of you have been to Fandalin so you don't really know what's there.
But we do know of them.
But you do know of Goblin.
Co-mingling with the small folk.
Well, Yeezy, I mean, you know how perilous our task is.
If you want to tag along, I have no problem with it.
Welcome any assistance we can get.
Maybe I can finally pursue my dream of dancing.
Of course it would be.
Bishop, what do you think?
Is Roshavk?
Roshavk is typing.
He just has a bat stuck to his neck right now.
Yeah, we could bring him along.
All right.
We got two people who don't want a part of this decision and two people down with it.
Let's go.
Welcome aboard, Yeezy.
Oh, man, I won't let you down.
First thing we need to do is get you cleaned up.
What's the matter with the way I am?
You look at him, he's just completely filthy.
And I might point out now at this point that this is the Kragmaw clan and they call themselves that
because you can see when he smiles, they've filed all their teeth down to points to make themselves
more intelligent.
Let's just say I can smell you from over here and that does not do good for our company.
If you're going to be coming with us, the least you could do is bathe.
Regularly.
All right.
I'll bathe every week.
I mean, we're talking about like old days.
That's actually pretty regular.
So, yeah, that's pretty regular.
I mean, how often are we going to be around the shower guys?
I mean, or a watering hole.
I'll take advantage of the waterfall before we leave.
All right.
Just don't want no people over and I cast Prestidigitation on myself and I remove.
Oh, all the grime from my robes.
I say no.
Hey, wait, wait, wait.
Give me a hit of that, too.
They're going to make me stand in the waterfall.
I.
Oh, come on.
All right.
So what's the plan?
Are we going to grab the carriage, horses and oxen, come back up here, grab the supplies and
then go down or are we going to try to carry some of it with us?
I think we grab the horse carriage oxen and bring it back here.
Have a long rest and load it and head to Vandalva.
Sounds good to me.
Vandalin.
Works for me.
Again, do we want to leave anyone here with Sildar?
Hold down the fort while we go get the car.
I can.
I'm not feeling too hot.
Me neither.
I'm just going to sit here and rest.
I mean, didn't we do some druid stuff to the cart, like bury it or something?
No, we we just kind of obscured it off the road in the foliage.
I cast an alarm on it, but that faded hours ago, hours and hours.
Yeah, I may need to make the travel a little easier by smoothing out the rough spots.
You're the best amongst us with the animals anyway, so hi.
And I'm gone.
And Darren can do some forward scouting for us to help us avoid any danger.
I just thought of another name for you, dude.
The Mud Mage.
I don't do so well with water and mud just sounds like wet earth.
That do be what it is.
Yeah, shall we then?
Bishop, are you coming or going?
Dracula hasn't been trance right now.
Yeah.
All right.
Easy.
You're with us.
I'm almost finished.
Let's get behind my ears.
All right, I've done.
We're going to have to find you more than a loin cloth, too.
I was thinking maybe like cloak or something.
You know, I put it off us.
Everybody just thinks I'm a small human or something.
Might be for the best.
Yeah, maybe some.
At least until we know how they treat goblins over there.
OK, well, let's get going.
We'll figure it out.
As we get closer.
Right.
The marching orders, they are not front.
I'm going to be between Emerson Bishop so that I can hop into Baron's eyes every now
and again as it forward scouts.
We're just going to need you to hold my hand.
I can't see.
I mean, I'll guide you out of the cave.
Your arms on me shoulder.
Come on.
Hey, I mean, big, big step before you go.
I'm not a big.
What when you when you get down to the the bottom, can you make this hole into like a
slide where we can slide the stuff down the bottom level?
I'm with the ship.
Yeah, you can move the shit aside with his Earth sorcery.
Well, then I'll do some some stuff here to prep the top part in case I can't reach it
from below.
Just make it like a slide.
When one made one page implies many different kinds of.
I just moved the shit out of the way.
I just imagined him as a kid making mud pies.
They look like actual pies.
There's mud.
Oh, my God.
Oh, I got it.
I got it.
The soil sorcerer.
Oh, that's good, too.
I like it.
And our party heads.
Yeah.
Make way back to their caravan.
While they're gone, I'm just going to me and Sildar are just going to slide the boxes
and stuff down the ramp.
Yes, you slide the boxes.
I really try to keep my my guts in place.
I don't know if you noticed, but I have a rather large cash across my belly.
Bandage them.
Find something.
It's a short rest.
Find something.
Oh, yeah.
Take a short rest.
Yeah.
There's bandages in the provisions from Lion Shield Coaster.
Find something, then bandage them.
And yeah, we definitely need to take a short.
Hardcore you guys are.
You just get three potions of healing like sucking up, bro.
I've still got a spell slot.
Those are combat potions.
We'll dig it about the loot in a bit.
Yeah, I'll go ahead and.
And it's out of combat.
You don't use potions out.
Everybody knows that.
Yes, yes, you're right.
We're not in initiative order.
I still see the combat tracker.
I never ended my turn.
It was all a ruse.
We're still fighting.
No.
All right, so we're heading out.
Four of us are going to sustain.
I.
Head now.
Split the party.
Split the party so I can kill you.
I mean, your head now.
That's important scouting the druid with us.
Yeah, you guys make the journey out of the cave.
Step into the fresh air and you find it's nighttime.
Nice little relaxing walk through the woods.
The moon is out.
The air is nice and cool.
There's a slight fog settling in.
Maybe a light torch.
After he runs into the third tree, it becomes a great idea.
You have to light a torch.
Appreciate it.
My head hurts.
You have one in your own bag here.
I might need it later and you might not be there.
It's special, all right?
I don't have it.
I'm saving it.
I don't have a torch in my bag.
I'm going to torch then.
I imagine you're like holding on to like his beard, his braid from his beard or something.
I'll stay close.
Guide me.
I let go.
I can't see.
I'm lost.
Yeah, I'm lost.
Yeah, and you guys managed to make it back to your cart or the cart, the wagon, and the
oxen are laying down.
They seem to be fine, but they seem to also be kind of like sleepy.
And the horses?
How many horses did you guys have?
You had one?
It was Gunjan and Thildar.
Yeah, that's right.
They are still there as well.
They're also laying down.
One's standing.
Can I run a check on him?
I don't know.
Would it be an animal or something?
Roche.
One second, Roche.
My wife saw goodbye and she saw the discord.
She's like, is that a bat?
And I was telling her like, yeah, we got scorpions.
Roche has bats in his house.
He caught that.
He's like, he's like, hold on one minute.
It just flew in.
That's in Ohio.
It's like the great Midwest right there for you.
It literally landed on my desk.
Oh, it landed on his desk.
Oh, shit.
You talk about a jump scare moment.
Just look over.
There's a fucking bat on your desk.
Well, it was more like I went through, I assumed this happened when I went to go get a drink
or something, maybe I was at the back side of my desk.
But I'm just sitting there and then there's a bat walking on my desk.
I wonder if he was just hanging out for a while and you didn't even.
He might have been playing games and stuff.
He's just listening to you role play.
He's like, all right, this is pretty cool.
Cruise up.
God damn it, I got put in a Tupperware.
First audience.
Pro tip, bats cannot fly up.
They can only fly down.
So pretty easy to capture.
Ah, man.
That must have been polymorphed over there.
Ebola hemorrhagic fever comes from fruit bats.
So watch out for that.
Yeah.
You feel OK?
Well, all the debt on myself.
Yeah, so the horses are still there and the livestock just seems to be sleeping.
Like it's nighttime, you know.
Hi.
Well, with the torch and...
Nemerus, can you get these things moving?
I get these things moving.
Arouse the animals.
Make sure...
Well, do they look hungry or thirsty or anything?
I imagine they've been out there for a while, but there might be like meditation.
Yeah, I mean, it's been a day.
They've probably just grazed right there.
They've been going out for a day.
They kind of just graze in their spot.
They don't look overly hungry, maybe a little thirsty, but...
Do we have water for them in the cart?
Well, once we...
I know, but that's...
Get them to the cave, they'll have more water than they need.
That's a couple hours out.
I suppose.
I assume we have water for the animals in the cart.
Would we not?
Hey, dude, aren't you like...
I mean, I know you're the soil sorcerer and the dirt wizard, but aren't you like one of those
talk to the animals kind of guys?
No, not right now.
Maybe after I rest.
Oh, gotcha.
Yeah, no, I...
My bad.
Maybe I was mistaken.
No, you're not.
It's prepared on your characters.
Oh, is it?
Oh, indeed, to be honest.
Yeah.
So...
Yeah, you look around, you see like some water canteens and stuff, but I think
mostly what had been going on is like there was like areas along the way for you to stop
and rest the animals and give them a break, like water holes that you could pull off to
and allow them to drink, like little lakes and ponds and such.
Well, then I'm going to just offer them all like a few sips of water, like pour it into my hand,
let them lap it up, just enough to get them to the river or the stream.
And they take the drink.
Excellent.
Okay, cool.
It was alcohol, now they're drunk.
Oh, shoot.
That was my fault.
One of the oxes stumbles over.
Okay, I think I got this.
They look a little drunk, but I think I can still manage to get them moving.
Our party sets out with two shit-faced ox and half buzzhorses.
I think this is a good time to mention that I don't like those things.
And he points to the horse.
I think this might be a good time to mention.
No, no, don't say that.
I already know.
You don't like me again.
Well, we're going to be traveling with a lot of horses, probably.
Don't say that word.
Horuses?
Creeps me out.
Call of something else like...
Horuses.
Ah.
Oversized ponies.
What about horses?
That was just weird.
I got a different kind of creep out from you.
All right, well, we got some ground to cover.
We should move out.
All right, I can do this.
With the beasts of burden.
Do this, you think you can do this.
Can I ride in the cart?
Oh, yeah, next.
Hey, we can put you in a battle.
Maybe we settle this like men, you know?
How about an arm wrestling contest?
Me and you.
Why?
You know, when it gets a little respect.
Maybe you don't talk so poorly about me.
I mean, what did I do to you?
All I've done is help.
You kidnapped my friends?
You tried to kill me on first meeting.
Wait, who's your friend?
Sildar.
Roxy.
You don't even know Sildar.
They are my friends.
Look, Goblin, respect is our earned.
Do your part.
Do not betray us and we shall see.
I think cutting off the heads of my friends would have been enough.
This guy.
Aye, anyone who can cut off the heads of their friends with so little aplomb is not to be trusted.
If you wish to be our friends, do we expect you to cut off our heads as well?
I don't know.
I don't know what they would do to me like they were going to do if I got out of line.
How out of line?
Anything I did they didn't like that I did.
If I did anything that was not my orders.
Aye.
We will likely be softer of hand than your previous masters.
Well, I don't think you got anything to worry about then.
I think you see why I didn't really take to them too much.
I understand, but we shall see how you do.
So you're saying there's a chance?
Aye, a small one perhaps.
I don't want to hide in the barrel.
No, you can walk.
Alright, in the barrel.
Alright, enough chit chat, let's go.
I mean, we will have to get you into Phandalin somehow.
I told you, I wear a cloak, but I don't.
Oh, this is a whiskey barrel.
This might not be so bad.
No, you can get in a different barrel.
Don't lie.
Alright, you guys rouse the livestock.
You get them hammered and you head back towards the cave.
Make your way to the cave.
And everything seems good.
Seems to be the way you left it.
We'll go back into the cave for a second with Tildar and Corrin.
So, how do you know everyone?
I see an odd group of people here.
It's just they rescued me.
I know of ancient knowledge that's worth a lot of money.
Well, you must have known Gundren then.
Yes.
There's quite a bit you and I could discuss when we get back to town.
I'm curious of many things and, well, I can offer pay for information.
I'm looking for someone.
Who is it you're looking for?
I don't know of a wizard.
I traveled there several months ago and tried to establish an order there.
A fellow member of the Lord's Alliance.
After we didn't hear from him for quite a while, I decided to investigate the situation myself.
Very strange. I haven't heard from him.
What was his order?
Well, he was a member of the Lord's Alliance and, well, it's going to be our contact.
Interesting.
What is your goal here in Fandalen?
My goal is to find Nihona.
As far as the Lord's Alliance, I'm not exactly sure.
Perhaps this is set up in a frontier town?
If rumors of the mines did take off, there's quite a bit of opportunity.
What opportunity would you seek?
Just being part of an up-and-coming town has its perks.
Recruitment. More people to pick up arms for the Lord's Alliance.
Ulster our numbers. Build an outpost.
Keep the people safe.
Seems like a noble cause.
So this wizard you're looking for, where did he disappear? When did he disappear?
I don't know. It was probably right around two months ago.
Shortly after he arrived.
As far as where, I don't know. That's what I've come to investigate.
Did he disappear in town, or was he off somewhere?
I wish I knew.
I wish I knew, right?
Perhaps we'll look into it once we get back to town.
Yes. I intend to get more answers once we reach town.
There's not much we can do out here, unfortunately.
I've been here before. I'm familiar with it.
It's a good town.
Little rough around the edges, but nonetheless.
How long has this town been here?
Anderlin goes back.
A long, long time.
You see, what's built there now...
is just a settlement atop the ruins of the old Fendon.
Say, three, four years now?
People from cities like Neverwinter, water deep...
began to establish their new settlement on top of these ruins.
Mostly home now to farmers, woodcutters, fur traders, prospectors...
all seem to be drawn by the same thing.
Stories of the gold and platinum, woodhills and sword-nappies.
What weight would you put to these rumors?
Well, let's just say...
Aderlin is a good friend of mine.
Is a good friend of mine.
And if he found what he says he did...
then I believe him.
I see.
I'd put great weight into those rumors.
Then we must find him.
I agree.
I'm certain we'll find more answers when we get to town.
You know why they took him?
Yes.
They took him and the map.
So they're after what he's after?
Yes.
I heard them all talking.
Spiders interested in the map.
Have you seen the map yourself?
But for a moment.
We were on the trail.
Night had just come.
The moon was out.
He and I were riding side by side.
Strange green glow.
To the bush.
I stopped our horses.
Put myself between the glow and the gun.
I drew my sword and I called out to the bushes.
Whatever it was, show itself.
I don't think I could have readied myself.
It was...
Goblin but different.
I'm a sword.
Base. Skull.
Long. Stretched.
Skin.
Different.
Most grotesque.
If you can imagine that for a goblin.
More grotesque.
Dark.
It wielded this magic.
This green...
Power.
It was on me so fast.
It struck me.
It flew from my horse.
By the time I hit the ground I was encircled by more.
Regular. Regular goblins.
I think in the goblins of this clan.
Many of which you dispatched in the cave you found me in.
How much more do you think there was?
There were two green ones that night.
They didn't follow us back here.
There's much to ponder about, yes.
We're gonna have to recoup.
Hopefully we can pick up this trail.
I'm certain I told you this before.
I just can't shake what it said.
The intent.
It whispered.
You're not a proxited monster.
I can't...
I can't understand.
Somewhere in the out.
Boots.
In the forest.
You're not a Wun 6-in-one.
I just...
I can't bring myself to understand what it meant.
Perhaps you're lucky then.
Perhaps.
This abominational horror that you saw.
Nothing good could come of it.
Hopefully, nothing bad has happened yet.
I don't see a swift rescue, unfortunately.
But we will make haste, rest assured.
He brings himself to his feet.
Well, we probably ought to start moving his crates then.
Grab the crates and bring it over to the slide.
Don't push yourself.
We'll carry them together.
And we just tag-team the crates.
We pan out.
We go back to the trail.
We see a wagon being drawn by two ox.
A couple horses following close by.
We hear some high-pitched voice singing a song we can't quite make out.
It sounds muffled, as if they were in a box or a barrel.
The dog reaches back and pounds the barrel and says, shut up!
I look over at Amaris like I blame him for this whole situation.
I just beam a smile back at him.
It was your idea to stick him in there.
I thought he'd be quieter in that one.
There you go.
Hey Dwarf, how do I smell now?
I didn't stick him in there.
The little bastard jumped right in once he realized what was in there.
Well, it's already done.
We just gotta figure out how to keep him quiet when we need him quiet and get all the barrels and all the supplies loaded in.
We could gag him.
Yeah, we'll give that a go. Maybe after the rest.
Pretty sure he'll be a little out of commission tomorrow based on how well his singing is going.
The wagon bubbles through the hot tub. Oh, what's that?
The wagon makes its way. You guys approach the cave in one piece, intact, uneventful.
It's a nice night.
And you stand there before the cave.
I suppose this area is a bit too small to house large creatures.
I'm perfectly happy.
It's about 10 feet wide.
Oh, you're talking about the thicket down there?
Yeah, you could probably kick it.
That's probably 10 wide by 20 long.
Imagine if it's manly.
We could hobble him and get him out of the elements and then they can go back to bed and we can make some camp.
OK, sounds like a good idea.
Oh, he's there yet?
No.
I haven't. So time to take a rest.
A long rest.
First for me, before going to bed, though, I think we need to figure out if we want to keep somebody awake, maybe outside with the animals, just to keep an eye on them and maybe serve as a watch.
Oh yeah, we do need to set up our rotation.
I prefer going last because that's when I need to prepare my spells anyway.
I mean, a lot of us are in the same boat, so I suppose the bishop probably prepares his spells like in the middle of the night or some weird shit.
Mm hmm.
I only need four hours of rest.
I meditate for four hours and I don't actually sleep.
So I don't you go first and then Bishop and then Emre's then I can go first.
I still have a spell slot and that if we can interrupt it after four hours, Koyrind will be ready to go.
Emre's, Koyrind, Bishop, myself.
Cool.
Done deal.
All right, rest we shall.
Fuck, I can't see shit out here.
How am I going to wake the guys up?
That's right, you're blind.
I'll just bring my makeshift torch with me that's fashioned out of just random sticks that I light on fire.
Oh, you light a torch?
I made a torch with just sticks.
You should be able to see now.
Yep.
I've given you a torch.
Perfect. Thank you.
Thank you, Foundry.
Why are the lights so bright?
So good.
What are you talking about? It's dark in here still.
So yeah, I'm going to tend to the horses, kind of take care of them for my shift or and the ox and stuff.
Basically just be on watch.
Okay.
Yeah.
So you're on watch.
Everyone's sleeping.
Where's everybody sleeping?
Are they sleeping in the the wargroom or in the chiefs or the bugbear's room?
I think the wargroom is the best.
Like near the entrance?
Yeah, because that's where all the stuff is and it's easier for me to get to.
I suppose.
Yeah, we've already tossed everything down to the bottom.
So there's real no reason to have to stay up here kind of deal.
Yeah.
Emmerich, you're out by the livestock.
Yes, I am.
Roll a perception check.
Everybody is sleeping at disadvantage because it's dark.
I'm going to stay regular.
You got some keen hearing.
Roll the 20.
A dirty 20.
For the Dirt Master.
You're standing outside.
You're on watch.
And got your torch.
I think you hear something off in the bush.
And a large breeze comes from the forest area.
I've set your torch.
I'm going to relight my torch.
Relight your torch.
With Dreadcraft.
That's when you see in front of you
this huge, hulking
level up.
Oh yeah.
I have to wait to level up though, right?
Because I'm still awake.
And we'll see you guys next time.
Right on.
Short session tonight.
Level two.
Shorty putty goody.
Oh yeah.
So how do we level?
Took a minute, but we're now level two.
Yeah.
How do we do the level up on Town Tree?
We'll talk about it.
I think you level up on D&D Beyond and then...
Upload the sheets.
Yeah.
Okay.
Do we want to roll some hit points while we're hanging?
Yeah.
We could probably do that after we wrap it up.
Just to say goodbye to our listeners.
Thanks for tuning in here at the Forge of Fable.
Yeah.
Thank you guys.
Yeah.
Thank you.
Exciting.
We can wrap up our first dungeon.
Wee.
Follow us on all of our social feeds.
Right.
Don't get lost on your way out of the dungeon.
Follow us, like, share, subscribe.
If you're human, always bring a torch.
Or a milkman.
Or learn life.
Try not to lock your goblins and barrels of whiskey.
That is a very important takeaway.
He's fine.
And when you're stuck, bring a dirt master.
Yep.
Oh, and Tupperware with faults makes for suitable back-hanging.
Yeah.
When in an emergency situation.
It's not suitable living court, but just, you know.
Temporary.
Put it on something to take it to the park and let it go.
Yeah.
For sure.
Roche, you caught Dracula.
I did.
Speaking of which, are you guys going to be logging on?
Didn't even need a whip.
I figured, I figured, Abbo, for that, you just pan the episode out right when it's like,
Roche, you caught Dracula.
And he's like, I did.
I did.
You just cut the episode out right there.
And we never talk about it again.
We hope you're having as much fun as us.
Just in case you missed it, we are recording episodes with a new player's handbook that dropped recently.
We got a few more episodes to share before we can get to those though.
So stay tuned, because we are super excited to share just how much the new rule book has added to the fun.
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Thank you once again for joining us at the Forge and Fable Podcast.