I swear, I thought Kenny just said, I fill up
my ass. I don't even know what he actually said.
Come on, man. Nice. It's actually fucking hot.
I don't know how to respond to that aside from
ow. He just blushes. Hello and welcome to Roll
Bravely, a live play Pathfinder second edition
tabletop role -playing game podcast. where five
friends bravely roll dice, battle imaginary monsters,
and solve pretend problems. I am your Game Master,
Charles Reno. Before we get going, let's introduce
the table. Hey, everybody. My name is Kenny.
I play Amaris. He is a Nephilim ranger with a
Shackleborn background. My name is Zach. I play
Talthyr. He's a Nephilim liberator. I always,
I wait every week for two things during these
introductions. The first is the new Wesley fact.
And the second is what energy is Zach going to
bring to the intro? I'm always laughing because
I always go after Kenny. And every week, Kenny
changes what he says. And, like, half the time
it sounds like he forgot what he was playing.
Every week. Half the time. And, like, one week,
one week, he'll, like, have it all planned out,
and then he'll go, like, give, like, extra information.
Like, he just read the character sheets, so it's
fresh in his mind. It's so funny to me. And I
am a ranger? Hi, my name's Sammy. I play Taz,
who's a goblin alchemist. And that's how you
do it, guys. My name is Misha. I play Wesley
Nixon, an elf vampire investigator. She just
got her nails done. But instead of her regular,
her usual Vantablack, she changed it to Cherry
Red. So she just stares at her nails all the
time now. Oh. I like canonically that Taldir
is dying on the floor. Taz and Amrys. have been
charmed by this emerald. And Wesley's just doing
her nails. I had a nail appointment. Yeah? I
stepped away from the combat. That's why I'm
not afflicted. Yeah, you just avoided it by looking
down. There's some fucking ethereal spirit coming
through the fucking... the wall of the cave to
take the appointment. So... Can you imagine it
with your little toolbox of nail supplies? Squeaky
wheel. That's tight. Where we left off. The party
had infiltrated the five mines, had lost a couple
of dwarven companions by total coincidence and
chance, and not at all at my discretion, had
made their way through one of the caverns down
into this large chamber filled with a lava flow,
and a sort of stone golem. You were able to befriend
him and make your way past it into the next chamber,
which was originally an entry point into the
mining system and also contained a shrine to
one of the dwarven gods. Whatever Kenny's doing
is really putting me off right now. I'm so sorry.
I was trying to fix monitor, and now it's...
No worries. You guys... battled the guardians
of the shrine, some skeletal dwarves who had
remained behind when the mines were closed. They
were dwarves? Well, they appeared dwarf -ish.
I mean, they were skeletons, so could have just
been short. Once you defeated them, the emerald
seemed to call out to everyone in the room. Taldir,
being unconscious, was unaffected, and Wesley
passed her save. However, Amrys... and Taz both
became sort of enamored with this blue emerald
that is being held between the hands of this
dwarven god atop the shrine. We cut to a palatial
mansion. A large outdoor courtyard. An elderly
dwarf. who you may recognize as the dwarf that
Wesley escorted from the building when you guys
were inside Ember Headquarters. He walks with
a cane, a slight limp, and a slow gait, passing
through an archway and climbing the steps of
a pavilion. Atop the pavilion is a gate that
alights with kind of a bluish energy. From the
gate, steps two individuals, both of them wearing
what appear to be shockingly modern suits, well
-fitted, black, with white shirts and black ties
underneath. Both are human. One, a tall human
male with dark black hair that is... pulled back
with like like gel or pomade something like that
so that it's very like crisp and held tight the
other a younger shorter blonde human female as
they step through the gate they both sort of
shudder off the remains of the energy and turn
to face the elderly dwarf the Taller male human
steps forward and hands a card to the older dwarf
who takes it from him, looks it over. He says,
we're from the Department of Human Resources.
We're here to investigate the bombing. The dwarf
looks up and smiles a nervous smile. And we cut
back to our room. Taldir, you're on the ground.
Taz and Amaris, you have seen this gem in the
hands of the Dwarven God and become sort of enamored
by it. Wesley? Dwarven God? You're in bad shape
from what we talked about pregame. So no one
is in a great position here, but how are you
going to proceed? A long rest. Just sweep the
bones away. We've already looted them, right?
Yeah, there wasn't a lot to pick up if you want
to. There's a few pickaxes. You did get the coin
purses from around their necks. And that was
really about it in the room outside of this oversized
emerald. Taz and Amrys, as we said last time,
you are overcome with the... desire to protect
this gym at any and all costs. Outside of that...
Do I see an immediate threat? No, no. Oh. No.
I mean, other than your friends, who you can't
help but be a little nervous around, and yet
nothing in their behavior currently compels any
action from you. Were we compelled to approach
the gym? So for now, you are compelled to protect
it and you desperately do not want to let it
out of your sight or possession. Are they holding
it? No. So right now it's still in the altar,
like held there. And as long as you're in the
same room, I don't think you necessarily have
any like direct need to. touch it or whatever,
but you would be unwilling to leave the space
without it. I'm going to stand at the top of
the stairs and just kind of look big. Try to
look big like I'm a guardian. A bouncer. I find
that odd. I look over to him. What are you doing?
Don't come any closer. Stay right there. Nothing.
Taldir's just dying on the floor. I step over
Taldir. Which is easy because she has long legs.
Excuse me. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa,
whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Yeah, I think as Taz
kind of takes this position and Wesley begins
to approach Amaris, you are kind of overcome
with this feeling of jealousy, like the need
to ensure that you are seen as the Emerald's
master. I'm going to take a couple steps back.
Go help Towdier. He needs help. Yeah, you guys
do that. I'm just going to stay right here. So
you guys take care of that. I'm going to go walk.
Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hey, hey. I'm going to try
to get between him and the statue. I'm going
to pull the big brother move. Grab him by the
forehead and just try to keep him back. But I'm
also starting to grab towards my... Like fingers
on the dagger behind my back? Just for reference.
Sorry, go ahead. Where would I find if I had
any kind of potions? Where would I see it on
my... Equipment? That's a good question. Somebody
should have... Should have, what, four... I think
they were all taken. Oh, did you guys take one?
I think we only had two or three. I never had
them out. We all, I think we each took one. I
don't remember who all used them. No, I don't
think we each had one because I gave one to Taz
because he went down. And I think somebody gave
you one. Or Wesley another time. Wesley does
not have one. I have an elixir, like my own,
the ones I made, but I still have one, and I
was going to give it to Talia, but plans have
changed. So, yeah. So I'm curious, how long does
this kind of jockeying for position go on? Not
long, because I'm fucking way bigger than him.
Little twerp. I'm like, hey, man. And then you're
going to hear, like, the clanking of my thingies.
And then, like, you're reaching for, like, your
dagger. I'm reaching for one of my bombs. Hey,
man. Suck my teeth. Come on, buddy. You don't
want to do this. You know how it's going to end.
Yeah, man. It's going to end with you, like,
burnt to a crisp. I'm going to be sad. What's
happening up there? Hey, guys. Help Taldir. Yeah,
yeah. Come grab Taz and take him to help you
with Taldir. Don't grab me. Grab him. Throw me
some potions. I'm all out. Sorry, you're going
to have to figure that one out on your own. I
can't heal. I have zero healing ability. Can't
you bite him or something? I'll keep him company.
So it takes. I'll sit next to him. Give him mouth
to mouth. It takes one hour for Taldeer to recover
one hit point on his own. Oh, Jesus. Now that
he's been stabilized. I'll sit next to him. I'll
sit next to him and talk to him, but I can't
do anything else. Just stay in the fuck out of
it. Paint his nails. So just out of curiosity.
I'll just show him my nails. Do we get to roll
again to get out of this charm or? Yeah, so I
would say this. Like, you don't necessarily have
to... Like, it's not the eternal standoff where
one of you has to murder the other. You can come
to some kind of arrangement. But you both feel
pretty, like, protective of this item and desirous
to have it. Yeah, like, I don't want to kill
you, man, you know? Yeah, it's not that level
of, like, compelling. So as long as you feel
reasonably certain, like, it may... As I'm saying
that... I'm, like, making a bomb. I don't want
to kill you, man. I really don't want to do that.
Is that a potion? No. And I'm just, like, fucking
holding on to my new necklace of the blazing
soul. I'm not worried about that shit at all.
Fireproof, baby. You guys continue to kind of
jockey around for a while. After some amount
of time, Taldir, you just regain consciousness,
and you are up with one hit point. Hey, buddy.
An hour has gone by of just us staring at each
other. Just edging closer to the... I'm just
shaking. I'm making a fucking bottle of lightning.
You know what I'm saying? Huge. Big time. Yeah,
so he will wake up and be like, what is going
on? Where are the other two? Because he's on
the ground down below these steps so he can't
see shit. I just point behind me and I'm like,
they're up there fighting. As he starts to move,
I'm like, oh, look, who's awake? Your brand new
buddy. You see you guys are so close. Go check
on him. Oh, my God, dude. I helped him once.
All right. The peacocking, brother. Peacocking.
I don't know what's going on. Oh, okay. He will
basically limp his way towards them with one
hit point. Hey, buddy, you're not looking too
good. You might want to just stay down there.
Whoa, whoa, whoa. I'm going to put my hand up.
Whoa, whoa, whoa. You might not make it. You
get a little too close there. Yeah, roll a little
save towel, dear. 15? 15 total. As you begin
to move towards them, the gym... That was an
8 on the dime, Michelle. We're not excited. It
worked out. Maybe. Hopefully. As you begin to
walk towards them, this emerald catches your
eye for the first time. And for a moment, you
are overcome with the desire to reach out and
take it for yourself. And as this kind of shadowy
presence enters your mind, you hear the voice
of Milani in a rushed tone say, This one serves
me. And it retreats from you. Sick. Oh, okay.
So, I mean, that... Yeah. Can I roll a religion
check? Do you think that I would know that it's
related to the gem? Roll a religion check. Or
is there any check that would be more relevant?
No, I think religion would probably be the right
call here. Okay, we're going to try a different
die. Surely it's just the die. Oh, actually,
though, 19. Natural 14. Yeah, 19 total. Sick
roll, dude. Okay, so you don't know much about
this gym in particular, but you do recognize
the shrine as being to a well -known dwarven
deity known as Urd. Urd is a god. Urd the turd,
that's what we call him. Urd the turd. Now, he's
a dwarven god generally associated with mining,
exploration, and, like, treasure. This kind of
compulsion that you felt wouldn't seem to be
typically associated with him. All right. Is
there any other check I can do to try and figure
out, like, what is happening? I mean, also, I
will communicate to Wesley that I think Kaz and
Amaris are being controlled or compelled. Like,
let her know that I felt some compulsion, but
Milani seems to have steeled me against it, which
is why they're acting so strangely. Nothing's
controlling me, man. You're under control, dude.
I will not tell them that. I look up from my
nails. I look up from my nails. So you limp all
the way down. And I'm going to tell them, oh
shit, watch out behind you. And if he looks behind
him a little bit, I'm just going to scoot a little
fucking closer to kind of back him off. I'll
look behind me, but I'll scoot my butt back to
try to, you know. Well played, well played. I'll
walk up to tell you. Wait, what's happening?
They're being controlled? Yeah. I'm going to
try to spin my knife through my fingers when
it falls. That's it. Pick it up. I think either
of you could roll either a perception or an occultism
check. Different information, but both would
work. So real quick, Charles, also, I have fast
recovery. Fast recovery? Fast. Nice. I used to
have that. Now it just still takes all Sunday.
ongoing disease or poison, you reduce its stage
by two. Or by one against a virulent disease
or poison. Any of that stuff. Yeah. No. So this
is, mechanically, this is a curse. So if you
have anything related to curses. I figure it's
worth a shot. I'm going to try to, as we're,
like, standing there, like, side -eyeing each
other, I want to try to drink my last potion.
Because I'm kind of hurt. And I feel like maybe,
maybe, you know, I'm going to have to, like,
hold it down. Hold down the fort. After you spend
an hour telling Wesley that you didn't have one,
you're just like... Yeah. You hear the cork echo
through the thing, but I want to see if I can
stealth. As he does it. Actually, can I roll
a reflex save on that? I would roll a reflex
save. Hold on. I want to see if I can stealth
that. Nat 20. He didn't say you could roll you
it. I already did. He didn't say you could roll
you it. So I just want to be like, oh, look.
He didn't say you could roll you it. Tell Deere
he popped a potion for you. He made it. Critical
success as Amrys certainly notices what's going
on. And yeah, I would say you have the opportunity
to limp your way up here, Syke. And I just chug
it. I got a 19. 19 on... Do me a roll for occultism?
Oh, occultism. Okay. Yeah, occultism or perception.
Either one was fine. I got a 21. Oh, perception?
I'll do perception. 17 plus 7. That wasn't cool,
man. He's really dying down there. Yeah, but
there's a greater cause happening, you know?
Both of you, as you stare into the gem, you see
a kind of glowing energy seeming to emit from
it. And within the heart of that glowing energy
is kind of this deep violet and black, like,
swirl. of what you feel is some kind of invasive
presence. And Taz and Amaris and Wesley and Taladir,
you can't actually see this, but we as the audience
kind of get this shot of a beating heart. We're
not certain who it belongs to. And as it pumps,
this kind of like deep violet energy moves through
the bloodstream and begins to like encircle the
heart, kind of wrapping strings around it, like
kind of rope. And then we come back to the party.
Will that affect me? Because I'm... I don't want
to say evil. But you do have like a void, what
do you, I forget what it's called, like void
born or something, void? Evil. Yeah, so it's
called evil. Yeah, we'll never know because you
roll like a champ and don't fail saves, so. This
is true. So are we just staring at the, or that's
just like a vision that happened? That's just
kind of like a vision that as you kind of like
continue to spend time in the presence of this
object, you can feel its hold on you growing
stronger. I feel like we kind of need like an
occultism. Like we need something to figure out
how to break it. Unless like if we just tell
them that they're under compulsion, will that
give them another chance for a save? I mean,
like. Like, from a metagame perspective, like,
Taldir can't actually do fucking anything here.
One, he only has one hit point, so he can't even,
like, try to get involved in a non -lethal combat
with them, because he'll just die. If I was to
roll for no cause for alarm, would I be able
to? Because, I mean, this is... Or the creatures
around you that are frightened. They're not frightened,
so it wouldn't really affect them. Never mind.
Who in all of this time has anybody touched it
yet? No. No, I haven't. But I did want to ask
if from Taldir waking up, like me wanting to
drink the potion, would that cause something
to trigger in my head? to be like because you
know generally i'm not trying to be that selfish
you know so like if i was like well i'm gonna
just chug this potion it's not like i'm i don't
know that taldeer went down with that set off
kind of like a little red flag in my head where
i can kind of figure out what's going on yeah
i would say like not necessarily that it's uh
Not like it'll break the curse or something.
Yeah, not like a red flag necessarily, but certainly
you would feel this inordinate attachment to
it and your desire to protect it. And I think
that that would, you know, there's probably some
level of suspicion involved there. You're also
not, like, locked in. You can always, you know,
if somebody wants to, you can take the gem and
move it. Or you can leave it, try to leave it
here or... Take a rest. There are a bunch of
dead skeletons, but that seems to be it. Yeah,
two questions. One, the way you've described
it, it sounds like the hold is getting stronger
the longer we spend here or whatever. Is there
any in -game representation of that? Would Taldir
or Wesley have an idea that we need to... Are
we getting more aggressive with each other? Yeah,
we have to address this quickly. Is there a sense
of urgency? Two, Does anyone have occultism?
Like, trained occultism? So, at a game, I do.
Okay. Yeah, that's why I was asking, like, if
I could... Oh, yeah. Would it ring a bell? And,
like, would I be able to try to communicate that?
Like, what's... Like, am I... You could certainly
roll an occultism check if you want to. How can
I be a good guy? Also, I think, like, there could
be a reason to, like, if Taldir's, like... trying
to talk to you like fucking you guys are being
compelled it's the the crystal like wesley and
i can see the fucking aura or whatever you know
and then whatever internally you're feeling taz
maybe that's enough to give you a reason to roll
it in the universe yeah because i see tal you're
basically spitting up blood and i'm like taking
my last potion i was like what's going on right
now like something's kind of off yeah i think
that's fair so go ahead and roll an occultism
check I got three hero points, baby. All right.
21? 21. So it's colored. Wait, wait, wait. No,
no, no. Right? No, 23. Sorry. 23. Okay. So it
is colored a little bit by the curse, but you
feel. And you understand that, like, you are
being compelled. Like, that makes sense to you.
But you also, at the same time, are convinced
that this is a deeply holy calling on the behalf
of this deity. And that, like, you feel chosen
and that you must, you know, sort of... I guess,
continue to protect the gym. So, does that make
sense? Like, it's kind of, on the one hand, you
do understand that you are being compelled by
this deity, but on the other, because of the
curse, it feels like a righteous calling rather
than, like, oh, shit, I'm being controlled. And
then also, sorry, because Taz is not religious.
He is at all. So, like, I think that would maybe...
cause a little more alarm yeah or no you this
is like a whole new not alarm but like this is
fucking weird yeah man this is like you went
to harvest church for the first time and you
saw the light you walked out of uh the passion
of the christ a changed man he picked up my my
play that i was reading the musical passion yeah
i'm gonna cork i'm gonna cork the uh the potion.
Like, put it back on. And then I'm gonna tell
Amaris. You know I'll never hurt you, right?
Yeah, man, same. I mean, that's what I'm saying.
You just gotta back up. Okay. He sneakily puts
the dagger away. It never got fully unsheathed
because, you know, it's like my demon daddy said.
If you pull a knife, be ready to use it. Demon
daddy. Demon daddy. And I'm going to be like,
what are we doing right now? And then I'm going
to just drop the potion. Because that shatters
on the floor. Wasting it completely. I'm not
that tall, okay? You just let it go. It was already
on the floor. Yeah, it was. I mean. Basically,
you know, hey, you're just coming over here and
I just wanted to make sure that you didn't do
anything that I didn't want you to do. I mean,
what are you doing? Yeah, but I'm ready to throw
a bomb at you, man. Yeah, you shouldn't do that.
Yeah, but you should step away from that. Yeah,
I mean, like, yeah, we could walk that way. Just
why can't you? No, I gotta stay here. Yeah, see,
that's what I'm saying. See what I'm saying,
man? No. Put my hands on my temple. Should I
just get an arrow and go for the fucking emerald?
Perhaps before we do that. Is there anything
else that our incredibly high perception or occultism
checks might tell us about how to do anything
in this situation other than watch helplessly?
Well, did you... Sorry, I didn't hear. What was
Wesley or Taldir's occultism check? 17 plus 7.
Oh, for occultism? Yeah. Oh, and then I think...
Well, no, she changed it to perception, so she'd
have to re -roll. But I'm not trained in occultism.
I can't roll recall knowledge occultism. And
I already rolled religion and... got told that
it's Erd the Turd. As you guys are figuring that
out, I haven't... I mean, I can keep it as occultism,
and that's still 19. And I'm drawing on the floor
and doing, like, Charlie Day and fucking on the
board with the... I'm like, see, and this is
the problem. And just fucking... So we're just
over there fucking... Now I'm pointing at the
floor, so I'm like, no, see, the thing is, is,
like, you have to go over there because... I
don't care what anybody says. I've seen Lawrence
of Arabia. I watched, uh... Whatever the fuck
that movie is that people love. The Waterboy.
What? I've seen that movie. Mel Gibson's The
Passion of the Christ. Charlie Day doing the
wild card bit at the used car lot and it's always
sunny in Philadelphia. Peak acting. No one has
ever done it better. Oh, man. And it's going
to be the next show I finish watching because
I think I stopped watching that like season six.
And there's like, what, 19? There's a lot. Yeah,
there's a lot. It's like the longest running.
And they're like, I think he's listening to us,
but I don't think he understands. And then Charlie's
like, yeah, I don't think he gets us at all,
man. And they're like, we're talking about you.
He's like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, fantastic.
No, I think you would recognize that while you're
compelled to protect it, you're not necessarily
stuck. You guys could figure something out together.
With a 19 occultism, you're unaware of any way
to immediately break the curse, given the spells
and items currently at your disposal, but you
could probably help talk them into some kind
of arrangement between themselves. What did the
perception check, like, reveal anything around
the room that warrants further investigation?
Like, is there... I'm asking for scraps here,
Charles. Is there anything that says more than
they're cursed? Yeah, I mean, there's really
not a lot in place. You could, as you kind of,
like, look around the... the room it's largely
been deteriorated although this mine has not
been abandoned for all that long you do see like
aside from the skeletons that you battled who
were protecting this uh emerald there are several
other bodies that have been unaccounted for i
think based on the perception the most that you
would get is that you understand that this is
not necessarily of urn and that it's been corrupted
by some outside influence that You can't 100
% identify right now. I think you're... And,
you know, you figure out how you want to proceed
with that, but there aren't a lot of clues in
the immediate area to help, you know, defeat
the curse immediately. I'm going to try something
with my writing in the ground. My arms are a
bit longer than Taz's, so I'm going to basically
draw and... Since he already kind of took the
arrow and was trying to draw my game plan with
me, I'm going to draw it and draw something just
a little bit further away from the stone and
see if he adds on to it. And if he steps forward,
I'll follow him away from the stone. Okay. I
was going to say, yeah, I'll do that. I'll draw
and I'll be like, you know, let's just like,
let's just, let's both. Go talk with them. Yeah,
I mean, I could do that. Taldeer looks like shit.
He needs help anyway. Yeah, yeah, you should
help him. Yeah, and I think I should clarify
that as well. It's not like you care about nothing
else. You just also care about this now. Yeah,
yeah. Let's go over there. You said there were
other bodies? Search them? Yeah, as you search
around most of them, You know, you find, I would
guess, let me... Like, four rusty swords, daggers.
I'll give it to you with the perception earlier.
It looks like other people have attempted to
come into this chamber to recover this... Come.
Come. All over the chamber, just trying to get
this emerald. And no one's been able to come
out the other side. Kenny, can you hear? Right
now? Yeah. I was turning off my fan way. Okay.
Okay, so we're both going to start walking that
way, right? Yeah, yeah. Kind of just easing,
kind of making sure that you're not trying to
pull a fast one and whatnot. Yeah, and then,
like, when we get to the steps, I want to be
like, oh, my potion, and then just turn back
real quick and run towards my potion. And then
as he does it, I'll just say, oh, I'll get it
for you. Fucking just sprint back with him. Roll.
Both of you roll a athletics check. Okay, Talvin,
I think we just... I go and grab the little one,
and then you go and get Xamaris. Hero point.
Hero point. Oh, yeah, me too. I'm very badly
hurt right now, Wesley. That's true, that's true,
that's true. I'm very badly hurt. 17 total. So
just for the audience, the first time I rolled
a three, so I decided to use a hero point. Don't
worry, I upgraded. I got a four, but that was
plus athletics, so I got a total of seven. So
I'm like right behind Taz for a quarter of a
second before he just fucking dusts me. Yeah,
I turn real quick like, oh, my potion, and I
take off. It's like it takes you half a second
to recognize what's going on, Amaris, and you're
just like a little... behind him like you were
more dedicated to the plan maybe and Taz you
do win the foot raise back what are you gonna
do I'm gonna stand right in front of the thing
and then I'm gonna pull like two bombs out in
each hand and then I'm gonna scream this is so
fucking weird and yeah wait is he just standing
there in front of it with two bombs Yeah, I got
two bombs in case, like, anyone comes back, I'm
going to throw them. But I'm letting you guys
know that I'm not comfortable doing this. This
is weird, guys. You're throwing it at us? I have
not thrown it yet. I'm holding them in my hand
and kind of, like, in a way, like, don't come
any closer. My voice squeaks when I say it, too.
Buddy, look. Just come on over here. Nobody's
going to touch it. You just don't touch it. No,
it's fine. So walk towards us. Do I? And then...
And I'm going to kick the elixir that I left
on the floor. I'm going to pink kick it towards
him. I'm going to give that to Taldeer. And nobody
move a muscle. Don't move. Give that to Taldeer.
Don't move. I said don't move. Don't move. Don't
move. Shut your mouth when you're talking to
me. I hate God. Me as a... Investigator, do I
know anything about this emerald? You know what?
That's a good segue to get some more information.
What does... I just want to say, you sneaky fuck.
Yeah, I know. It was good, right? You got me.
All this fucking dusty -ass floor. Somebody needs
to come in here and mop the hell out of my ass.
Quick little bastard. Okay, so all the dwarves
die and all the maintenance just goes down the
drain. Yeah, that makes sense. I've heard a lot
of things tonight that I'm pretty sure people
aren't saying. I thought Michelle said, I hate
God out of nowhere. No, I said, hey, God. She
said, hey, God. I'm talking to you. You're the
God of this universe. I got that eventually.
Satan? Should I start doing that? Satan? Whoa.
The secret is they're the same person. And then...
I believe it. I swear I thought Kenny just said,
I fill up my ass. I don't even know what he actually
said. Come on, man. Nice. It's actually fucking
hot. I don't even know how to respond to that
aside from ow. He just blushes. You don't have
to play coy by saying ow, dude. He says it with
a smile on his face. Ow, dude. I don't even know
how I'd respond to that. That's so weird. I don't
know. Ow, maybe? I guess? I don't know. Maybe.
Weird. Who knows? I think it's important context
to point out quickly that we are not early in
the day either. You guys started at the Blushing
Goldfinch early and spent four to six hours looking
for information around town. You were finally
able to locate these dwarves. You entered the
mine, got into a combat. I believe you took,
what, two or three hours to heal following the
first combat. So, we're getting into, I imagine,
the early evening here. Just as context. So,
we'll pick back up in this... unfortunate and
yet entirely foreseeable stalemate that we have
found ourselves in and see how the party wants
to proceed. You're right. It does only take 10
minutes to treat wounds. So I am going to do
that while they're being annoying or all have
done it already while they were being annoying.
Sure. Okay. Do I have rope in my camp pack or
an explorer pack? Nothing. I would assume, but
go ahead and check. I'll also say when I do that,
I need to keep this ruby emerald safe. I'll let
everyone know that. I'll say that out loud. Okay,
so I do have 50 feet rope. Okay. And I tie like
a lasso. I'm like, hell yeah, get his ass. And
then I'm going to step. I'm going to step up
here. I see her making the lasso. She steps up
and is like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Don't worry,
dude. She's just trying to grab that bottle that
you keep telling us to not get. Whoa, whoa, whoa.
I'm not trying to grab you. I'm trying to grab
the thing behind you. Nope. I'll try to make
myself taller. I'll try to get on my tiptoes.
Wait, wait, wait. Hold on. Can I grab him? She's
not a bear. Wesley, witch's hat, witch's broom
strapped to her back or something. I don't know.
Fresh nails, go ahead and make an attack roll.
What are you trying to target? Kaz, I'm trying
to lasso him to bring him away from the emeralds.
Okay, go ahead and make an attack roll. And then
just to be, would she get a bonus? Because I'm
trying to put myself in the way. She says like
she's trying to get the emerald. I'm like, wait,
hold on. And then I make myself a little taller.
What kind of roll is that? Whatever you were...
Oh, yeah, because you're using... Well, what
did you roll? I got a 16. 16 total. What is...
Let's go ahead and add your dexterity bonus to
it. Probably not proficiency, because I doubt
you're proficient with lassos. What is Taz's
AC? 19. 19! So as he stands up, you throw it,
and he's able to just kind of scoot... out of
the way of the lasso. Okay, then I just run at
him. Okay. So as I throw it, I know it's going
to miss, so then I just get up and I go and run
at him to go just grab him. All right. I feel
like it's not going to affect me just because...
Yeah. I don't know. I just feel that in my bones.
As she does. As she starts running at him, I'm
going to run, but not towards Tasmor to protect
the stone. I trip him. I'm behind you. We're
not doing this again. I put my foot out. All
of these... If I see her running towards me,
how... I need your help. Would I be like, fuck,
and then just grab it and then try to protect
it? Do whatever you want to do. I also like that
Zach is just hanging out there eating a sandwich
or something. And I feel like that's exactly
what Taldeer is doing. I think in reality Taldeer
would try to intervene and just yell at everyone
to stop. And be like, we can figure something
out. Everybody just fucking chill, dude. I'll
chill if they chill. He says that while Taz holds
two bombs and I'm lassoing a fucking... Everybody
stop. Let's just take a second. Julie, I'm already
running at him. I mean, you can't stop. You can't
stop. I run pretty fast. What's the distance
between this? Five, ten. I'm there. You don't
know how fast I am. You know how fast my legs
can take me? I'm an elf. And tall. I feel like...
And tall, so... Okay. Dude, I feel like two strides
and I'm there. Well, I mean, I would also...
You're not the Flash, so I think I would also
have time to react because I already have the
bombs in my hand. Doubt it. Doubt it. You don't
know how to react because you're trying to protect.
Your hands are full. So what are you going to
do? What are you going to do? You're going to
throw the bombs at you. I can throw the bombs
at you. Yeah, exactly. I can deflect. I'm just
going to do this. I have walked myself into mechanics.
I am not prepared to adjudicate. I'm going to
lasso, trip that guy. I'm going to catch these
bombs in midair. Sammy's going to. I think I'd
be. Let's say this. Sammy, roll a reflex save
against Wesley's. I don't want to throw him.
She's scary. Yeah, yeah. My fangs are on. My
eyes are black. I'm also running. Adam. You're
not scary, punk. And then... I turn back and
I laugh at him. I go like this to flinch at you
and I look at her. Cow right here. Uh, fuck.
A what? Reflex? Yeah, reflex save. 20. Wesley,
what is your reflex DC? That'll be 10 plus whatever
your reflex bonus is. 18. 18. So as you go, you
throw this lasso and take off running towards
Taz. Taz, you see this. You're going to get a
chance to act before she can reach you. What
are you going to do? I will... Because I don't
want to hurt nobody. I'll take one of my bombs
and I'll slam it down in front of me. so that,
like, a fire, like, erupts in front of me. Okay.
And hopefully that will, like, make everyone
go like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa,
you know? Roll a... I was throwing it at the
floor. Yeah. So roll a intimidation check. Oh,
man. And go ahead and I'll give you a plus two
situational bonus to that. Ooh, 20. 20 total.
And then, Wesley and Amaris, what are your will
DCs? 16. That'll be your bonus plus 10, yeah.
17. 17. So both of you take a moment to halt
here. You get the impression that Taz may mean
business, even if he doesn't want to hurt his
allies. And then we hear Tau Dealer just scream,
right? Yeah, right? Am I close enough to punch
him? I would say not yet. So when everybody stops
and when it gets hot and heavy, then Taldir will
yell at everybody to stop. He's like yelling
at his children. Yeah. Oh, I know, man. I'll
turn this car around. You've had the dad voice
this whole time. I forgot about that. Yeah. And,
uh... Yeah, I mean, he'll... Tell everybody to
stop and suggest that we don't have to touch
the crystal right now. You know? They're under
protection. But as long as nobody's going to
touch it right now, we can all still be a party.
I'm saying that currently the crystal is under
no threat. So we can take a moment. As a party.
And... Rest. And then... Tomorrow... Address...
Concerns. Like adults. I'm gonna do that thing
where I hear Taldeer's words and I take a deep
breath. I try to calm myself down. Okay. And
I should say, again, I want to make sure that
I'm not miscommunicating it. You're both fine
with somebody... touching the gem and moving
it. You just want that somebody to be you. Yeah.
Kill everyone who touches it. I understand what
you're saying. It's coming through perfectly.
Got it. Okay, cool. So, yeah. Taldeer makes this
recommendation. How do you guys want to proceed?
I'll put the peace sign up with my fingers. I'll
be like, hmm? Okay. Um, I get the lasso. Yeah.
Come on, let's walk down on the stairs. We don't
gotta walk anywhere. If they wanna stay near
the crystal, they can sleep under the crystal.
That's fine. Are we sleeping here? Are we just
gonna do a long sleep? We should rest here. Yeah.
Clearly everybody's running a little hot right
now, so let's just rest here. Where'd you get
a sandwich from? Yeah, you pack sandwiches and
you share with us. We've all got rations. I made
sure we all had rations before we left town.
That looks like a freshly made sandwich, though.
That's like a... I think my nail lady brought
it. We all... From Quiznos. I think she brought
it. Did you bring a green sandwich? Talk about
fucking ghosts. Look at that Scooby -Doo -ass
sandwich. I'm going to be honest. I forgot this
was being recorded and that I was eating and
talking while recording this. He's like swallowing
it. Tony just has a sub sandwich like a Scooby
-Doo sandwich. We're just going to hang it. There's
like an olive with a toothpick. It's got to relax,
guys. I just recovered from dying. I needed something
to get me through the day, okay? Let's just all
relax. I'll chill out. And I'll be like, I'm
sorry, guys. I'm sorry. I may have misinterpreted
the rules of whatever's happening to me right
now. Man, misunderstood something. Yeah, but
don't touch it. No one's touching it. Nobody
wants to touch it. I don't want to touch it.
You may have misunderstood. You try to lasso
it. No, I was trying to lasso you. Take it away
from it. Sneaky. Okay, I'm going to come over
here and go to sleep. Yeah. Don't touch it. Can
I hide myself? I don't trust these people. I
don't trust my party. Amorous, why don't you
just go join him? Both of you guys can sleep
near it. Yeah, you guys lay down. They're going
to be so sleepy in the morning because both of
them are going to be fighting their sleep. Good
luck getting a fucking full night's rest. Just
don't touch it together. Okay, I'm going to get
four. They did? I'm only going to get four hours
of sleep. And then I'm going to wake up and try
to scoot them away. Or maybe I'll steal the emerald.
I think you'd probably just do a rest. Well,
all I need is four hours. Okay. She's an elf.
Yeah. I'm going to sit down and get ready for
a rest, but I'm going to try not to sleep. All
right? So. But I'm tired. There is, you guys,
end of the long day. There is a doorway to the
north. There is a ladder going up. And again,
the tunnel you just came from, you prepare to
make camp and rest for the evening. If you're
not going to do anything else, I assume both
of you are going to attempt to stay up. So just
roll a constitution. I want to be like, and stretch
and yawn. I'm like, oh, I'm going to go to sleep
right now. I'm so tired. He's basically copying
the exact same shit, saying what he's saying.
Yeah, not constitution. It'll be a fortitude
saving throw. To see if I can fight to sleep.
Can manage to stay up. Aren't you guys both bad
on HP? No, I got eight. I mean, yeah. I'm fucking
golden. I could do this shit all day. Call me
Captain America. I assume that failed, right?
That's a natural one. It's a natural one. Oh,
man. In the middle of fucking copying, I might
just fucking... I'm like, I'm so sleepy. And
as soon as Elliot and I are just... It's like
when you're... So after four hours, can I sneak
up there? One second. Let me just make sure.
Because I think Taz might have passed, but I
want to find out. Oh, shit. So just for the audience,
I cheated a little bit. I had some dice in a
dice jail, and I pulled one out, and all it did
is fucking prove why I had it in the fucking
dice jail. Natural one? Come on. I probably shouldn't
have, but it was like a test I wanted to fail,
but also I wanted to see if it was... Earned?
What the fuck am I saying? No, that doesn't happen.
Not with dice. I'm going to throw that shit away.
I have dice that I don't use because regardless
of how many times I roll it, it's always under
10. All right, this might be the wrong ruling,
but I don't care. We're going to say you both
failed because I can't find a firm rule in Pathfinder
except that the basic DC for ordinary saves at
this level, is, I believe, 16. Mm -hmm. Sounds
right. With a natural one, you critically fail
and fall instantly, deeply asleep. And Taz, it's
like when you're a kid at Christmas, when you're
like, I'm just going to go to bed, and then I'll
get my presents. I'm going to go to bed and get
my presents. And then, like, three hours into
it, you're like, oh, God. Like, I think, you
know what? I'll just stay up all night. And then
within, like, six minutes, you're asleep. That's
kind of what happens to you in this situation.
As they sleep, Wesley, you do manage to accomplish
your four -hour rest. What are you going to do
in the intervening time? I'm going to slowly
sneak up there. Do I know if the animal is going
to affect me? Or if I can just take it. I forgot
what your roll was, so go ahead and give me another
occultism check. Oh, I do remember what that
was. It was 17 plus 2. So 19. You're not sure.
You know you passed the save, and you do feel
that the energy you noticed within it is reminiscent
of the energy that you have within yourself,
but you're not certain. That feels certain to
me. Okay, can I slowly, snakily go past them
and grab the emerald? Okay, I'll say because
you not only failed, but critically failed, Amrys
is sound asleep. Go ahead and make a stealth
check, Wesley. 8 plus 6? 20. I assume that's
going to beat it, but Taz, what is your perception
DC? 5? Okay, so 15. Yeah, Wesley, you managed
to sneak past Taz and Amaris as they sleep in
their bedrolls. What are you going to do? I grab
the... Okay. The moment you touch the emerald,
you get a vision that flashes through your mind
of this large kind of larva looking like almost
like a maggot. Everybody's familiar with that.
It almost looks like a maggot, but it's like
covered in iron and there's like this swirling
heat emitting from it as it moves through the
earth. And you can see that it's like leaving
behind. this trail of destruction, seeking out
this energy. And you feel kind of this desire
or this want to bring the emerald there. Because
you pass the save, you are not compelled, but
you can sense that that is like its desire is
to find this creature. Do I know if that's a
good thing or a bad thing? I don't... Well, roll
a... Do I get the heebie -jeebies? Heebie -jeebies.
Roll a perception check. That's a natural one.
It feels like it will solve all your problems.
I smile and I put it in my bag. All right. The
party. Can I wake the guys up? Yeah, I would
say you guys managed to accomplish a rest. So
go ahead and heal. Take any of those. Oh, my
God. Would they notice that? Obviously, that
is gone. But will they be drawn to me since I
have it in my pocket? Yeah, so as they awake,
I think immediately the first thing you do is
look to the statue and you see that the gem is
missing. There is a desperation that seizes you
to find it, to know what happened to it. I turn
also and I'm like, it's a gasp. It's gone. We
were all asleep together. What happened? Yeah.
I'll believe her and I'll just be like, I'll
start running around and I'll start flipping
the room around. Yeah, that's a good point. Go
ahead and roll a deception check. I've been playing
a lot of Baldur's Gate lately. Love those dice
rolls. I'm going to look around and just kind
of... Deception? In all the places that it couldn't
possibly be, like just fucking straight floating
over my head and dumb shit. 18! 18, yeah, 12
plus 6. What is your wisdom DC? 12. Yeah, I'm
going to say like will and fortitude don't really
apply here. So it'll just be a deception check
against Taz and Amaris' wisdom DC. So that will
be 10 plus whatever your wisdom bonus is. Ah,
fail. 12 for me. 12, okay. Yeah, both of you
believe her. She's pretty compelling. I believe...
Doesn't Wesley do, like, LARPing or some kind
of... Oh, I do. I'm right under her noses, man.
I'm a historical reenactor. That's it. So as
soon as they turn, I bow. I'm so proud of my
performance. Taldir, you see all of this. What
do you have going on? I level up. I hit rest
on Demi playing and it was like you only rest
like regain like four hit points or something
like that. To be honest, he's probably not seeing
this. He's probably still sleeping because he
was dead the day before. He was dead. Only mostly
dead. I saved him. Yeah, you got saved. Okay,
so as the party awakens, you can either hang
out in here. There is the ladder, which leads
up. There is the door to the north. You don't
know where that leads. And there is the exposed
tunnel to the west that would lead you back out
to the lava flow. I said we go north. Is that
through here? Yeah, the map's not going to be
exactly right on here. It was just like a decent
enough approximation for the purposes of the
combat. But yeah, it's not a large room like
this. So you would be to like reorient on the
map that you guys are on. The shrine is actually
to the east of the room. So this would be like
east facing up. So then what north would be over
there? All right, I'm just going to be looking
around like bewildered, but kind of go with the
flow because... I'm suspicious of hammers. Yeah,
I'm definitely looking at Taz. I'm going to give
him a hug and try to just do a little pat down.
Hey, buddy, good to see you. Sorry about all
that shit last night. Just fucking pat him down.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm going to tap his nuts.
Ow! Fuck! Just take a knee for a second. Gotta
recover. Wake up and give that wild hug that
P. Diddy gave to Justin Bieber. Oh, man. Oh,
man. I went through a fucking rabbit hole of
P. Diddy stuff on Instagram and I was... I was
telling you to send me all the conspiracies.
I love it all. That's awesome. I don't love the
bad stuff. Well, right. Obviously. It's just
I love the conspiracy. of it all. What, does
it get cancelled? I know. I just like conspiracy
theories. I think they're really fun. Wesley
Nixon. Celebrity rape fan? That's mean. Are we
fully healed? 100%. 100%, yeah. But are we fully
healed? Or are we just going off the rule of
what Demiplane said? Yeah, we're fully healed.
That is a good question. GM. Zach, you want to
help us out with this? Well, because I hit the
res button and it says... I don't believe...
It says regain four hit points. So... I think
it's like your constitution modifier is all you
regain from your rest. Constitution modifier
minimum one multiplied by their level. Oh, multiplied
by your level. Yeah, you guys are level two.
So whatever your constitution modifier is, go
ahead and... So we only get two health? Times
two. So if it's two, you times it for four. No,
I... I would say... You only have one. Yeah,
my constitution's one. Yeah, so you get two.
Two. But I would say you also probably have time
if Taldeer is interested. In the evening, you
could have done maybe four heal checks. with
the time that you had before you really needed
to go to sleep? I woke up feeling like a fucking
100 bucks. I feel great. I mean, I feel rested.
I'll pop that last elixir. I would have done
that last night and then healed. I'm fine. I'm
fine. Everything's fine. Wait, can you make me
an elixir? I'll give you a gold. I'll give you
a gold coin. I'll think about it. Yeah, so Taladar,
if you want to, you can treat wounds. You would
have some time for that. You could also just
bribe each other for elixirs. That's good, too.
So this would be like I would get my reagents
back, right? You would. Yeah, you can do all
your daily preps. And technically, as Zach alluded
to, the group... does level up so you guys are
now level 3 officially we'll do the leveling
up I wasn't ready next yeah we'll do it next
session so just take a look at what you want
and how you want to approach level 3 for your
characters no need to do it next session I'm
already done yeah I'm good I'm moving up right
now I've already done it alright go ahead make
your choices yeah you guys can be level 3 we'll
just talk through it next time So you guys accomplished
the long rest. Get your level up, which we will
break down next time and are ready to continue.
So are you going to the north, right? That's
what Wesley said. Go to the north. King of the
north. The north. I can heal people in the morning.
Yeah, do that. All right. We're good. I'm still
patting him down. We're good. You feel good.
You feel healthy, man. Feel strong. Start with
Taz and roll. Don't hurt me. And I'll close my
eyes. Taldeer can't heal me, right? No, he can.
Just not magically. I failed on Taz, so he has
to wait an hour. I could do... Wesley while you
were doing that. Okay. Can I do it on myself?
No, we'd be at least trained in medicine. And
we figured out that the hour immunity applies
to the target, not the person doing it. I tried
it on Amaris. Failed. I don't need any healing.
I'm good. 13. That's a fail. Yeah, if you guys
just get hit less. It doesn't hurt. It's DC 15.
Alright. So, hour goes by. I'll try on Taz again.
Okay. Failed again. I'll try on Michelle. I already
did it. 22. Alright. Then I'll just try on myself.
Yeah, so 22. 22 succeeds, so it's 2d8. Yep. Ooh,
my hit point went up to 33. I love being level
3. Ooh, look at that. Heal for 8. No, heal for
8. I already rolled it. Alright, another hour
goes by. Michelle doesn't want anyone else rolling
dice for her. I got 12. Damn, you need more than
that? I think Michelle and Zach were both pretty
bad off. I don't think Taz was doing great either,
right? I succeeded on you, Taz, and gave you
nine hit points. Hell yeah. Now I have 12 hit
points, but my max is 33. Ooh, crit success on
myself. 16 for Michelle. So wait, this is the
first time it's come up, Zach, so it's probably
a good opportunity to explain what... does critical
success on a treat wounds accomplish? You literally
just double the healing. So you get 4d8 instead
of 2d8? Yelp. There we go. Alright, so 4d8. And
then... Okay, another hour passes. I hit Michelle
for a heal and that was 11. Okay. So that's...
So strong! What do we have? I didn't critical...
Wait, did I criticalize 16? Yeah, I did criticalize
16. Okay. Yeah. And then I succeeded Taz again,
and you will get nine more points of healing.
How are you looking? Dude, I think that was just
like perfect right there. Like the way you straightened
my shoulder out right there is perfect. Nice.
Look at these fucking guys. I knew it. How are
you feeling, Taz? I know you have it. I'm going
to scream at him. I know you have it. I need
to have more. I need to have more. All right,
Michelle. Well, that was for the last one. Yeah,
I'm distracted by their little bromance going
on and I fuck up. Your boyfriend's got a boyfriend.
I'll try to heal her. Gary? Are you trained in
medicine? I think I am because I think I did
it once. Nope, can't do it. Yeah, I mean, she's
also immune to any source for an hour, so. I'm
looking real gray right now. All the way done?
Yeah. Get to me later, I guess. Yeah, who wants
to roll it? I mean, I tried, but you yelled at
me. I can do it again. I got this. I know what
I'm doing. Okay. Double digits. Ah, cool. 26.
Hey, critical success. Uh -oh. 48, baby. 10.
10 points. 10? Beautiful. On 48, you rolled 10?
Oh, I am healed. Completely. Why would I get
four? Critical success, baby. Oh, cool. She's
fully healed, though. Yeah, I know. I like the
nice shade of gray. When you look at me, you're
like, you look good. Plus 11. Now you're glowing.
You look good. You're going to feel good with
the way you look. I guarantee it. Did I show
you my nails? That Morticia Adams gray. It was
a while ago. It was before the fight. No, it
was during the fight. During the fight. My nail
lady came. I met her in the... Damn, you got
people like that? I'm so fucking strong now.
Yeah, dude. I'm just going to be squeezing your
muscles. You look buff, dude. Yeah. I'm going
to start flexing in front of him, too. Dude,
I think I got a little bit into you. Come on,
let's go. I'm going to walk through the door.
Is Taldeer a Saiyan? Is that what happened? He
almost died and woke up stronger? Pretty much,
yeah. I'm fairly certain this is just a bugged
character sheet, but I'm keeping it. I'm just
going to be talking to Wesley. I'm like, no,
I'm glad he's making friends. You know, I just
like, just kind of mumbling and just like random
fucking shit. He'll come back. He'll come back.
Just like, just ignore it. No, I mean, like,
I don't need him to come back to me. I'm like,
I'm happy. Like, just, I didn't see it happening.
I don't see it. I don't see it's going to work
out. I don't see it working out. Taz and I are
coming up with our own secret handshake. We keep
fucking up though. And then laughing about it
really loudly. Like, oh my God, you're so stupid,
dude. That's like the advice your friends in
high school give you when they're like, no, they'll
come back. They'll come back to you. Like by
the time you're like, like my age now, people
are just like, yeah, I think we're getting a
divorce. And they're just like, finally. She
sucks. Are you getting a divorce, Charles? I
got divorced and she was terrible. Is this your
way of telling us, Charles? No, thank God. I
can't be alone or back out there, so I really
only have... My options are to do my best to
make this work or die. That's really all I got.
Well, this is easier. Let me tell you that. You're
telling me. Go ahead and roll a d8 for me. Six.
Oh, wait. You do, because it is a new day, get
a chance to make the save again, so go ahead
and make a will save. Will? Wisdom? No. Will.
Will. Oh, you guys are fucking kidding me. Hero
point. Yeah, you don't have to do that, too.
Should have done your level up. Boost your saves.
Jesus Christ. What was it? What save? Will. Will.
19. He said Will like four times. Will. Will.
11. Will. Will. Will. Will. There is nothing
more authentically tabletop RPG than having to
answer the same question. Five times in 30 seconds.
Okay, so 19 and? 11. 19 and 11. Yeah, you both
fail. Go ahead and roll a D8. Oh, shit. Do I
give you the same one? Sorry, what was it? Six.
Six, okay. I also got a six. Nice. You both got
the same one. So when you wake up, you immediately
think of this gem and look for it and are startled.
by the fact that it is not present. Your second
thought is that you are ravenous. Maybe the adventuring
day was harder than you thought, but you are
starving, which is an actual condition you can
go ahead and apply. Can or should? Shit. Must.
Just making sure. Yeah. Yeah, right. I get it.
If it's an option, I'll pass. Starving? I don't
see starving on here. I don't see starving. On
the Demiplane Pathfinder 2E. It might be famished.
They might have renamed it. There's no famished.
Well, I'll find it. It probably won't affect
anything right now as you... I believe it's just
a negative one. Yeah, it's a negative one to
all saves. Oh, that's fucking lame. What? It's
fatigued. Can you take fatigued one? There's
fatigued and then like enfeebled. Yeah, it's
fatigued one. Enfeebled me. How do you spell
it? Enfeebled is like just weak. You said eaten?
Yeah. I'm going to put that on my board. On my
board. I have words that I don't know. I put
them on my board so I learn them. that's a good
idea i mean that's actually really cool okay
so i think at some point amr said he was going
to open the door so we'll just do that because
i push him through i'm tired of this room you
open the door and everybody is uh a little like
vision right okay You open the door and reveal
a room that is sparsely furnished with cold walls
that are carved directly from the stone, displaying
an efficiency and lack of embellishment that
suggests utility. It is basically like a perfect
square. There is a single desk to the south,
a large safe to the west. And a chair sits on
either side of the desk. So one where a person
would normally sit and like one across from it
as if you were like in a principal's office or
something. On the surface of the desk, sorry,
there's also a bookcase on the eastern wall that
is filled with like bound folders. On the surface
of the desk is a single file that appears to
have been accessed more recently than the rest
of the room. What are you going to do? Can you
repeat that slower? Sorry. I got safe in what
direction? There is a safe to the west, a desk
to the south, and a bookcase to the east. All
right. And then chairs were... Yeah, like if
you go into a principal's office or you go to
see your boss at work, which feels a lot like
the principal's office, it's basically that setup.
There's a chair behind the desk where you'd ordinarily
sit and then a chair in front of the desk. So
one on each side? Yeah. Oh, okay. First things
first, gonna perception check. Go ahead. We're
not in the room yet, right? The door's just been
opened? That's up to you. Yeah, I'm not gonna
be in the room yet. Taldir will enter the room,
hammer and shield out. I'm so powerful. Oh, look
at this guy. I'm behind him. Look at this guy
having a fucking elbow. He has like... She walks
by into the room. He has like the fucking Dragon
Ball Z aura around him. I get my shield out as
well. Might as well. As I'm passing, I keep saying
Xamarin is because of the... As I pass Amaris,
I'm like, I know, get a load of this guy, and
then I get mine out, too, and I walk in there.
Exact same way. I'll do the same thing as someone
behind me, but no one's there, so I'll be like,
get a load of it. I'm going to wait in the doorway
again, trying not to get hurt like everybody
did in the last combat. I push Amaris in. So
you mean exactly the way you approached the last
combat. Just hang out at the back, try not to
get hurt. Yeah, that's my MO. Yeah, sorry. Taldeer,
you rolled a perception check? Yeah. What was
it? 20. I'm so powerful. 20. One second. As you...
And I assume you're taking a little bit of time
to, like, walk the room and kind of check things,
or are you just kind of getting an initial impression,
like, from the doorway? Um... No, I mean, I'm
opening the door. I'm entering the room and,
like, perceiving. So I'm standing in the doorway,
I guess. Okay, yeah. As you, uh, kind of... check
over the room you do notice that there is a spot
kind of in the back corner kind of beyond the
bookshelf and next to the uh desk that just doesn't
look quite right compared to the rest of the
flooring um other than that the room appears
to be pretty much plane as you uh as you kind
of initially noted there are again hundreds of
documents uh bound inside of these file folders
you can see them kind of like closed and then
wrapped up with leather but the pages are kind
of spilling out of them uh nothing else becomes
immediately apparent upon searching the room
uh i'll gesture for uh Coming! And then I'll
run. Yeah. Taz or the other one who's a spy to
look at the safe. Oh, I know that stuff. But
when Taz is running past me, can I go to put
my shield away and just kind of bonk him? Yeah,
sure. Bonk. Bonk. I'm just going to fucking giggle.
Taz, you get bonked? I sound like Link when he
gets hurt. Alright, who's checking out the safe
then? I'll give it a whack. I'll give it a whack
after him. I'll be the ladies first. Sick. Damn.
22. 22, yeah. As you examine the safe, you do
see that it is a pretty standard but secure lock.
You probably wouldn't be able to force it open.
It would take a tremendous amount of strength.
Maybe old Taldir can give it a shot. Roll a little
dice. See how the new level treats him. Are we
talking flat strength? Are we talking athletics?
He's like, I got it all. There is an action in
at least the remaster called Force Open. I forget.
Oh, that's athletics, baby? Yeah. I think I'll
roll some athletics. All right. Let's see it.
I'm rubbing his shoulders. Come on, man. Which
is crazy because you're so much shorter than
me. You'd have to be on his back or on top of
the safe. That's what I'm doing. That's what
I'm doing. Only an 8 on the die. For a 19, idiot,
plus 11. You're stupid as hell, dude. You're
dumb as hell. The stupid safe rips it off. Getting
really ahead of yourself. Because while you do
demonstrate an impressive amount of strength,
it is like when my wife asked me to open a jar
of Prego or something, where it's like... I swear
to God I can do this! Yeah, but just nothing
fucking happens. Like, you pull on it, and you
can feel it beginning to move, but you are not
able to force it open. It is a firmly secured
safe. A 19 just isn't gonna do it. Did I hit
it with my hammer? Hello? Okay. So stupid, dude.
Kick it. Huh? Kick it. I'm on top of the safe,
like, jumping up and down, trying to, like...
It's probably got, like, a hardness or something.
What kind of safe is it? Like, is it numbers?
Uh... Yeah, sure. Can I put my ear to it and
to, like, turn? All right, go ahead and make
a... You can try to pick a lot, I believe. Bold
of you to do that while I'm swinging a hammer
at it, but go for it. Taz is jumping on it. She's
not confident, and she still thinks you're old.
Wait, what's the... Is it... Thievery? Yeah.
27, by the way. Dang! 27 to hit? I got 26. 26?
Okay. So, somebody opens the safe. I don't want
to make a fight out of it. As she's picking it,
you smack it. I open it as he hits it. It's open!
I think I did it. I'm like... I'm just watching
from the door. You're on top of it. I'm still
watching from the doorway. I'm going to roll
a perception to see what the fuck is happening.
Are his knees buckling because he's so nervous?
Teamwork makes the dream work. His knees are
just going like this, shaking. Who's nervous?
16 from the doorway. Amorous. Oh, amorous. I'm
not nervous. I'm cautious. Cautious. What's that
clicking I hear? Is it his knees? You're turning
the thing on the safe. God, I can hear it from
all the way over here. That might be it. Some
investigators. This safe gets open is the point.
Inside, it is completely empty except for a small
porcelain figurine of a dwarven hero. Warhammer,
Kite Shield, Long Beard. And it appears to be
built directly into the floor of the safe. Ladies
first. Okay. That really came back around on
you, didn't it? I mean, I'll do it. He's such
a gentleman. Yeah. What are you going to do?
You said it's at the... It's just kind of...
It's just a porcelain statue kind of in the center
of the safe. It looks like it's like built in
on like a pedestal on a wheel. Wait a minute.
Can I investigate it first? Yeah. Go ahead and
roll a, I guess this would probably just be a
perception check. I will also do engineering
lore on it. Is that possible? Perfect. I have
clue in. No, never mind. That's something different.
Did I catch anything from the doorway? What are
you trying to do? A lot got. I was just like,
as they were fucking with the safe, I was trying
to see if anything was happening, changing, anything
like that. Oh, yeah. No, nothing seems to be
happening in the room yet. 12 total for my engineering.
25 for me. 25, yeah. My perception went up to
8, guys. The engineering, pretty low threshold
based on the engineering of it. It looks like
the wheel turns. You can rotate the figurine
either clockwise or counterclockwise. I'll say
that. The wheel turns, guys, in case you didn't
know. and it most likely rotates the statue.
From what I can tell. Thanks, man. What'd you
guys find? That's interesting. What is my perception?
Yeah, so higher DC, but you would recognize the
same thing, that you can turn this wheel. You
also, with the perception check, don't see any
visible or noticeable traps. It looks honestly
like a... Like a ballerina on an old music box.
It's very much that same kind of configuration.
Then I just go, I guess that's yes. It does turn
left and right. You see here? You see in this
area? No traps. I just feel like Taz got there
faster than you. That's crazy. I just roll my
eyes really hard. You hear my eyes roll. The
eye roll you can feel. You want to look at the
statue? He's towards my back and he can feel
my eye roll. Sounds like my daughter. So let's
twist it. Grab his dick and twist. Twist his
fucking dick. Does it turn on its own? You said
it's like a music box. Would it turn on its own?
You don't see any like... mechanism immediately
that looks like that. It's more just like kind
of that figurine on a gear that like spins. Can
I grab it? Do you just mean a handle? Is it a
handle? A jackal. Is it a jackal? Jackal. Is
it a jackal? What are you doing, Tess? Can I
grab it and lift it? When you grab it, you see
that it doesn't give. It's kind of built. into
it. It's stuck. It's stuck. A part of it. It
could probably be disassembled, but yeah, it's
built into the wheel. Do you need another strength
check to turn that? I'm going to head over to
the desk. Amorous approaches the desk. Check
the drawers. Sorry. Check the drawers. Look for
any kind of hidden elements. Yeah, roll a perception
check. Yeah, you look over the desk, give it
a firm kind of look over, don't notice anything
that appears to be a trap as you kind of begin
to cautiously explore the drawers. You see standard
desk items again, like ink and quill and a couple
of other notes that appear to just be like lunch
orders, like your sort of standard office fare.
You do, I guess, would notice that the paper's
on top of the desk. You recognize that the desk
itself, relatively dusty. The bookshelf, relatively
dusty and not well -maintained. The paper's on
top of the desk, and the safe, both relatively
clean, like recently used. While Amaris is doing
all of this, is anything going on with the safe?
28 to try and twist it. 28 strength check to
try and twist it. Yeah, so Amaris, as you kind
of like look up maybe to tell the group about
what you're seeing over here. Talgir, you just
twist the shit out of this statue and it goes
real easy. You could have just done it. It wasn't
like a... But you really get some torque on that
statue. Hit that shit like the wheel on Price
is Right. And as you do that, you get this like
sense of vertigo as the room feels like it is
spinning with you. And... In moments, you find
that you are no longer inside that room. Instead,
you are in a large office. Huge bay windows pour
in light from the outside. You are standing in
front of a large wooden desk, the corner of which
now holds the statue that you twisted. As you
look up from it, there is a middle -aged... dwarf
with kind of a long blonde beard uh well dressed
and he is holding like a book next to a bookshelf
across the room he looks up sees you and he says
i don't think you're my daughter guards And that's
where we'll stop for today. Please join us next
time as we roll bravely on. Good night. Good
night, everybody. Good night. One thing to clarify.
Good night. You said, like, you a lot there.
Is Talbier alone? No. Everyone in the room has
been transported. This isn't where I parked my
car.