I was just sitting in the chair like, God! But
I didn't feel anything. You should have had video
for that. His belly button was just bumping against
your forehead. Whoa! This is a dental procedure,
sir, I imagine. He had an outie. Hello and welcome
to Roll Bravely, a Pathfinder second edition
live play podcast where five friends bravely
roll dice, battle imaginary monsters, and solve
pretend problems. I am your game master, Charles
Reno, and before we get going, let's introduce
the table. Hey everybody, my name is Kenny. I
play Amaris. He is a tiefling, nephilim, ranger.
I think I got all of them. Next. My name is Zach.
I play Taldir, who is a Nephilim liberator. Hi,
my name is Samly. I play Taz, who's Nat. He's
Slamly. Oh, I heard Samly. I heard Samly. Keep
it rolling. I don't play a Nephilim. I play a
goblin who's an alchemist. Yeah. Gobbling these
nuts. Right now. Let's go. My name is Michelle.
Excuse me. I play Wesley Nixon, an elf damn fair
investigator. Last week she was wearing a witch's
hat and this week she found a broom. So she's
leaning really heavy into being a witch, but
she isn't. Oh, I thought you were going to say
woman. Wow. Wow. I had to do it. Wow. Wow. I
like that where we left off. Well, let's do a
little walkthrough. So we open on a scene outside
the governor's mansion in the blistering bright
light of the desert day is beneath us. We pan
into it. There's a small crowd gathering. Most
of it quiet. A few of them give shouts of comfort
or praise, others protesting the governor, the
queen, or Ember itself. We pull in onto a dais
upon which the governor stands, a retinue of
dwarves, a few other humans as well. The governor
steps forward and loudly proclaims, We gather
this evening to commemorate the losses suffered
in the recent terrorist attacks leveled against
the Ember Corporation. Hopes embraces friend
and ally as we attempt to tame this wild desert
and create a hospitable and enriching land for
the people of this city, of Amarat, and of all
of AIM itself. And in that commemoration, we
honor the service of citizen heroes. Those who
willingly do the hard and unpleasant work. Who
bring us together in our times of need. And she
motions to the few humans gathered near her.
The firefighters. Please, come forward, Captain
Jerry Barnborn. And kneel. I knew it. I fucking
knew it. To receive the blessing of the Golden
Rose herself. The Lady of Amarat and Queen of
the Rose Throne, Iolda Shandravat. We cut in
that moment to the partially collapsed face of
a dead dwarf. Deep clawed gashes in its body
turned purple black with age. In the near distance,
the sound of frantic buzzing and screaming rises
as we lose focus on the dwarf before us and pull
back to reveal a second dwarf. being picked apart
by a swarm of bloody insects. We see blood appearing
on his face and body, first in sharp, short lines
that grow and quicken until viscera and muscle
overtake flesh as the primary feature of his
body's topography. His eyes are pulled wide in
terror, then slam shut as bugs begin picking
at the soupy whites. The insects force their
way through the thin flesh of his lids and his
screams do not stop even as his mouth and lungs
fill with the creatures. His body writhes and
tears at itself for a short while longer. We
pull back and hear the sound of footsteps trailing
off in the distance through a nearby tunnel carved
from the stone. We then focus on an enormous
rock creature. He is seen playing in a stream
of lava, lying on his stomach as the flow washes
over him. He molds cooling magma like a child
might play -doh into the near facsimiles of four
adventurers who have recently passed through
his lair. We arrive finally in a large carved
cavernous room. Far to the east, a sturdy ladder.
Its bolts rusted hug the cave wall. To the south
of it, A shrine to a dwarven god stands in near
immaculate condition. Between its hands, we see
a pale blue emerald the size of a human fist.
To the west, four adventurers, our party, stand
in the smoke of the recently cleared debris of
the tunnel behind them. Before them, along the
cavern floor, we see strewn handfuls of skeletons,
the bones kind of mixed and mingled. Some begin
to pull themselves together and then rise. The
scraping of their joints smashing together and
the crack under the strain of reanimation filling
the small cavern room. We see Wesley Nixon go,
oh shit, a broom, and pick it up. I felt like,
uh... I don't remember what game it was. I think
it's, like, Spyro or something. Like, the old
school one. You, like, go into a dungeon and
it, like, flashes around to, like, the different
points of interest within the dungeon. Okay,
boomer. And then zooms back in on you. That's
what it felt like. Yeah. I'm gonna be like, hey,
Taldir, do you think, like, people are gonna,
like, remember that explosion? Nah. Yeah. I don't
think so. I think I'll... Like, they're not gonna...
Yeah. It only happened, like, what, a day ago?
Something like that? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well,
and it's just, like, it was bound to happen,
is the thing. Explosions happen all the time.
And they improperly stored their gunpowder. Yeah,
yeah, yeah. It's because I feel bad about it,
but I just... I mean, you know? Who puts that
there, you know? They forgot about it. Who could
have? Yeah. Who could have possibly known that
that was going to be as destructive as it was?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Feels like the fantasy
hero version of why do you make me hit you? But
go on. Keep thinking. I'm like, yeah, yeah, whatever.
Hey, is that moving? And I'm going to scream.
And yeah, we see these Tothier draws his hammer,
faces the skeletons. Bodies rise. Let's go ahead
and roll some initiative. Dude, I swear to God,
I'm going to kill myself. Nine. Total? Yep, yep,
yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep. Okay. What did
we add to it? Perception. 19. Okay, nine. We
got... 24. Taz with a... People are really challenging
my ability to remember things. Taz, what was
yours? 19? 19, yeah. And then we got Wesley with
24? Yeah. 22 for Amrys. Amrys, 22. I'm going
to have the skeletons go as a unit for the purposes
of this combat, just because... Speeds it up
a little, maybe. Great. I'm going to have that
spooky, scary skeleton song stuck in my head
for this whole fucking combat in probably the
next couple days. And that's going to be the
background music. I haven't even thought about
that this whole season. Oh, you're welcome. Yeah,
my bad, guys. What is this? I don't know. The
reference. It's just... I'll send it to you.
It's catchy. He's got bones. He's got bones?
He's got bones. It got, like, dark all of a sudden
in this room, so I had to turn the light on real
quick. Are you scared? Of the dark? Let's see.
I mean, first to Michelle's question, no, to
Zach's statement, sure. The dark is one of the
few things I'm not scared of. I'm not scared
of the dark. I'm an adult. I did have a nightmare
after I got a root canal where the dentist blasted
all of my teeth away. And then I was just sitting
in that chair with those little tiny... Has anybody
ever gotten a crown before? Well, I'm killing
time. Yeah, I've gotten crowns. Do they show
you the little baby nub that they blow your tooth
into? Yeah. They didn't show it to me, no. Yeah.
For some reason, the lady pulled the mirror around
and she's like, that's your tooth now. And I
was like, ah! I don't know if they showed it
to me, but I definitely saw it. Yeah, I saw mine.
Yeah. The gross little nub. Go ahead. Oh, I just
had a... Yeah, I had a nightmare that she did
that to all of my teeth. And it was the same
dentist in my dreams. I'm pretty sure two things.
One, I think forever ago I remember reading something
about dreams where you don't have teeth or your
teeth fall out or something happens to your teeth
has a specific meaning. Probably bullshit. Someone
told me that it's like you have a... Insecurity.
Yeah. Like something, like you're being really
insecure about something. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And
then your teeth like fall out. Yeah, that sounded
right. Sounds right. And then two, one time when
I was getting like some dental work done, I don't
remember if it was a cavity root canal or crown
or whatever, but they were having a real tough
time numbing me. And so they pumped me full of
like so much numbing. And then at a certain point
they were like, we can't, like, we can't give
you more. So do you want to like finish this?
Like, how do you want to play this? And so, like,
for the last, like, 30 % of the procedure, I
was feeling a lot of what they were doing. And
it was very uncomfortable. That happened to me
with a, I had, like, a root canal. And, like,
they numbed me. They left. They came back. And
they started drilling. And I was like, ah. And
the lady was like, what? And I was like, I was
like, I hurt. And then she said, oh, she gave
me another shot. And then left. Came back. And
then, like, she was doing her thing. And, like,
five or something minutes in, like, she hit something.
And, like, I pushed her hand away from me. And
then she was like, you feel it? And so I ended
up getting like three or four shots or something
like that. And then eventually it wasn't as extreme
as that. But yeah, that wasn't cool. Yeah. It's
not great. You're like, oh. What happened to
me in my root canal too is it jabbed me a bunch
of times. And then I was fine mostly until they
started doing the file to remove the nerves.
And then I fucking felt when I was just like,
ah. Or something like that. I feel like that's
being very stingy. It's not even that painful.
It just feels really weird. I felt like something...
I remember when they... Mainly the first time.
The first time when they touched something, it
hurt. It's painful, but it's not like... I don't
know. It is pain, but it's not like... It's a
pain I feel like I could bear if it didn't feel
like it was inside my bones. Yeah. Or in my mouth.
If it was happening on my arm, I could probably
take it. But just because it's in your mouth,
it's like, ow. And it feels like it's deep. I'm
thankful when I got mine, it was done by a retired
Navy dentist. Normally I go into the dentist
and she gives me two shots and then she's like,
can you feel this? And then she gave me another
one. This guy sat down, drilled me full of 14
shots so that I couldn't even keep the saliva
in my mouth. Hell yeah, dude. And then just proceeded
to like fucking pipe my tooth like a college
sophomore. Like it was... Hold on, hold on, hold
on. Okay, Charles, we talked about this. The
way you describe things is fucking wild, man.
It is so wild. We get it. You went to college.
That dentist... That dentist got freaky with
you, man. You're a victim. I was just sitting
in the chair like... But I didn't feel anything.
You should have had video for that. His belly
button was just bumping against your forehead.
Whoa! This is a dental procedure, sir, I imagine.
He had an Audi. So, if you go to roll 20... Yeah,
that's right. We're playing Pathfinder. In case
you forgot. This is our map. It is kind of oriented
to the east instead of the north like normal.
So you do have the kind of altar before you.
These four skeletal beings have risen. I believe
first up in the initiative order was Wesley.
All right. So let's devise a stratagem. That's
my foe's weakness. All right, this dude right
here. Oh, interesting. Okay. What ails you? So,
what does assessing a weakness entail? Let's
devise a strategy. Okay. Was he weak too? But
don't you also make a known weakness check? Okay.
It's the same thing, right? Two different rolls.
Yeah, it's two different rolls. Also, I forget
exactly what defeat is. It might be a known weakness.
You might be right. But essentially, you can
roll devise a stratagem, and then as part of
that, you can get a free recall knowledge. Okay,
so go ahead and whatever you rolled on the first
one, that'll be your attack roll if you choose
to use it that way. And then go ahead and roll
a... Like my initiative can be used as my...
No, no, no. It's a point difference. So when
you do devise a stratagem, if I'm thinking about
it correctly, and you let me know if you think
I'm wrong, I think you make the devise a stratagem
roll. That number becomes your next attack roll
if you choose to make an attack roll in your
turn. And then, as a free action, you can make
a recall knowledge check. For the purposes of
this, I would say religion or occultism, whichever
you prefer. And you can use your intelligence
bonus to your attack. Right. Which doesn't matter
for Wesley yet, but may in future levels. I think
it does matter. What's your dex bonus? Yeah,
and I think... Show yourself. There you go. It
should be, like, across the top. It's reflex
under saving throws? Like top center? No, that's
a saving throw. Oh, my bad. That's two. And then
what's your intelligence modifier? Should be
next to it. I rolled down. Oh, that's two as
well. Okay, so it's the same thing. Either way,
go ahead and make that knowledge check. Just
tell me which one you're doing. Recall knowledge.
Are you doing a cultism or arcana? Oh. A cultism.
Okay. The same, but it sounds cooler. Yeah. Oh,
so wait, I got... I rolled 16, and then plus
2, right? Plus 2. Okay, so you would get... And
you want to know their weaknesses? They are weak
to radiant damage. Is radiant still a thing in
second? Oh, sorry. What did they change it to?
It's not positive energy. It's religious or holy.
I don't remember that. I know there's like vitality
and void. Vitality. I think is the new radiant.
Yeah. And spirit is another one. Yeah, but this...
It's the difference between like radiant or fucking
holy and good or whatever, right? Yeah, so this
would be vitality. Okay. Do you know if good
became vitality or... Hey, Sammy, we still have
to figure out that tattoo. No, it's probably
positive energy. Yeah, it's vitality. Yep, yeah.
Or send me the info on it. Okay, so yeah, you
do know that they are weak against vitality energy.
Are you going to make that attack, or what are
you going to do next? Yeah, I'm going to lunge
forward and use my sword sword. My magical sword
sword. Alright, and what was that attack roll?
That was 16 plus... Wait, did I still use that
one? Why do I feel like I haven't played this
before? It's been a minute. It's been a minute.
It's two different rolls, so the 16 plus 2 was
your recall knowledge. Now roll a d20 again,
and that'll be your attack roll. Yeah, if you
choose to make an attack, you don't have to.
I want to. All right. 16 total. 16 total. Yeah,
you move in to strike at the creature with your
magical sword. You added the plus one from the
sword as well? Oh, no, 17. I think it's on there
correctly, right? I don't think so, but maybe.
Either way, that's a hit. Go ahead and roll some
damage. And you can do your strategic strike
thing. Oh, right. Now. Yeah, I forgot about that.
Which is, I think, just an extra 1d6 damage or
something like that, right? I'm looking at my
shield. Ooh, 12. 12? Okay. Okay. 12 points of
damages. Yeah, you do. You bring your sword into
this creature. You see it, like... chip away
at the bones of its rib and arm. It, uh, is still
up. I believe you've got one more, actually,
because you would have had to move up here. And
I, um, I would like to hop over this guy, this
thing. Okay. Like, really cool. Roll an acrobatics
check. But they really, really cool, like, you
know. Ooh, 17 plus. Am I acrobatic? Ooh, plus
8. 17 plus 8. You hop over the crate and do,
like, this cool, like, spin in the air. The creature
that you just hit, like, kind of turns its head
and is like, oh, shit! And you're able to, like,
get over and behind this crate with your action.
You would actually be hidden by this. Well, you
could crouch a little if you want to, because
that's about a five -foot crate. And you see
my witch's head. Awesome. Up next is... Well,
yeah, because that would have been move, move,
attack. Okay. Up next is Amaris. I have so many
fucking screens. Hunt and pray. Okay. Hunt and
pray. Which one was hit right now? The one in
the lower left. Okay. I'm going to go for...
Let's say back right. Back right. This guy up
here. Yeah. I'm going to hunt and pray. And then...
20 to hit? 20's gonna hit. Go ahead and roll
that damage. You know, it's funny. I haven't
organized my dice in so long. Oh, fucking one.
Well, you should have two dice at least. And
then I did it and I couldn't find any. Oh. Yeah,
I was looking for that. I thought it was... I
can't remember what to do with that again. I'm
afraid, but I'm not seeing it on here. It's saying
gain two plus a circumstance and survival. Oh,
gravity weapon's the one that gives you the extra
damage to it. Yeah, yeah. Gotcha, gotcha, gotcha.
Okay, so that is... One point of damage. You
still have a dex weapon, right? So you should
have a dex bonus to your... Am I wrong? I think
everything is strength -based in Pathfinder.
Which is not cool, man! Okay. Everything is strength
-based, but you have an insane critical effect
on your finesse weapon, and striking runes will
make you feel strong. Right. Yeah, basically,
I wish there was, but I don't think there is.
But I thought finesse weapons got a bonus based
on dexterity. Am I? No. Dexterity provides no
bonus to damage because balance reasons. Okay,
cool. Well, I think you still have one action
regardless. Yeah, go ahead and hit him again.
All right. Roll it again with the map. That is
a... Twelve to hit. Twelve's gonna miss as another
arrow just flies into the soil in front of the
creature. And, uh... Oh, wait. Never mind. I
was thinking... What the fuck is how brave good
for? I was thinking that it added, uh, to my...
Did I do the wrong one? So, the plus two circumstance
bonus should give you plus two to your to hit
as well. Okay, that's what I was thinking. So
14, is that it? No, 14's still going to miss.
Alright. As we now go to the creature's turn,
we're going to start with the one that I labeled
creature A. There we go. Can you mark back right?
Mark back right, yes. Oh. There we go. Does anybody
speak Dwarvish? No, but Kenny, when you get precision
damage the first time you hit your hunted prey
in a round, you deal an additional 1d8 damage.
Okay, that's what I thought, but I couldn't find
it. Yeah, so it's under feats and features, and
then precision, and then you also have hunted
shot um which allows you to make two shots for
one action um if it is your your hunted uh prey
no you are does it suffer from the map that second
shot yes okay map applies as normal but it you
only spend one action to do so Alright, well
then the only thing that really changes is the
extra d8 of damage, and if you choose to move
somewhere. That's a 5 for damage, and I'm going
to stay here. Alright. I mean, I guess you could
do something else if you wanted to. Another recall
knowledge check or something? No, because I did
hunt prey. Okay. That's an action, I believe.
Awesome. It is, yeah. Okay. So we'll start up
here, or sorry, down here. Nobody speaks Dwarvish.
Yeah, you just hear this kind of guttural echo
coming from this creature's jaw as it begins
to move toward the group. Let me measure that
real quick. Oh yeah, plenty of distance. He's
going to come in, and he's just, like, going
to reveal, like, pull up his hands, and his hands
are, like, bony claws, obviously. But they're
also, like, embedded with, like, jewels and gold
and silver that's worked directly into the bone.
He's going to take his first swipe at... We'll
go evens, Taz, odds, Taldir. Oh, he's going to
take a swipe at Taz, and that's going to be...
26 to hit? Yeah. Is that a crit? No. That's what
he's going to do. Eight points of piercing damage.
That's his first. And then he's going to take
one more swing with the map. Let me roll again
to see who he attacks. Taldir, but that's going
to be... 24 minus 5, 19 to hit Taldir. That'll
hit. That'll hit. And he's gonna do nine points
of slashing damage. Should've been slashing Taz.
Alright, that is his turn. I don't know why roll
20 keeps reloading on me, so sorry about that,
guys. This one up here, I think, is going to
come in and do... Is anybody else getting that?
Is it like a weird roll 20 problem? Not me. Yeah,
I'm not catching anything. That usually happens
to me. But it's not happening right now. All
right. So that's him. This one up here is...
Let's see. What else does he have? Yeah. Okay.
So he is going to move. I'm a big fan of this.
Moving, I guess. Come down into, okay, 30 feet.
And as he rushes down the stairway, you see his
bones begin to kind of like lengthen and disassemble
as they just assembled. And when he reaches this
spot, he's going to like kind of burst into pieces
and fly towards again. Evens, Taz, Odds, Taldir.
19, so that's an odd. Go ahead, Taldir, and make
a... Oh, sorry, what's your fortitude, DC? 19.
19, so I will... Yeah, as his bones break apart,
they begin to pull themselves together, forming,
like, almost a skeleton around your body, like
some kind of, like, exoskeleton suit. And you
can feel it kind of, like, creating resistance
on yourself. And you just hear the voice, like,
as the skull kind of, like, locks over your head.
It's just like, he's got a Skeletor laugh. That
is going to be his turn. Here's the next one.
He's going to similarly crawl on top of here,
angry at Wesley, and he's holding an old rusted
pickaxe in his right hand. He swings it down.
That is going to be a 26 to hit. Nope. Yeah.
Is it a crit? That's my only question on a 20.
It has to be double? 10 over. 10 over. Nope.
Fucking loser. Fucking loser. It's going to be
9 points of piercing damage. And he's going to
take another attack because why not? He's not
smart. That's almost certainly going to miss
though. That's a 12 to hit. I assume that misses.
15 feet. And from here. Okay. He can move. Then
he can double move. He'll have enough movement
speed. Yeah, he'll have more than enough movement
speed. So he comes all the way from the east
near the shrine. Down to kind of like come on
Taldir's other side and make one attack. 25 to
hit. Six points of slashing damage. That is their
turn. We are back to the players, and I believe,
Taldir, you are up? No, sorry. Taz, and then
Taldir. I'm not excited anymore. Okay, so...
I'm going to, for my first action, I'm going
to pop one of my elixirs of healing. It's going
to barely heal me. Oh, okay. I believe that's
two actions. Yeah, because you've got to pull
it and then take it. I don't know. You're an
alchemist. Maybe you've got... quick draw for
potions or whatever the fuck? No, I only have
quick draw for not quick draw, but throwing bombs.
That's one action. So I will take my healing.
Six points. Ain't shit. And then for my last
action... These two are next to each other. Yeah.
So, yeah. Yeah, I'll just throw one of my bombs.
Awesome. Go ahead and make that attack roll.
At this one that's marked. Okay. 25? 25. That
is going to hit. Let me make sure that it is
not a crit. Okay, it's not a crit. Go ahead and
roll your damage. And let me know about splash
and all that too. Yeah, so it is... So... I...
I'm trying to remember. So five points of fire
damage, one point of splash, and then one point
of persistent. Oh, wait. Sorry. This is the one.
Actually, that's my bad. He should not be here
because this is the one that's on Taldir. Getting
comfy. Oh, there's one on Taldir. Oh, so then
I'll just hit. Yeah, I'll hit this one. If this
guy is here, I'll hit this guy. Cool. And if
the other guy's within five feet, too, he'll
take one point of splash as well. One point of
splash. And then this one's going to take the
one point of persistent. Okay. And then what
was the initial damage? Five. So five. One point
of. Five fwags. One point of splash. And then
the persistent at the start of its turn, I believe.
Right? Yes, sir. Right. There we go. That is
Taz's turn. Taldir, you are. Up. Go ahead and
make a fortitude check. Transparent soul. I failed.
You failed. So as you go to move, you feel this
magical energy kind of infused around you as
this... bones kind of prevent you from reaching
your full range of movement. You can still act,
but you are down one action this round. That
was weird. I looked up and I just saw Sammy's
face as Bass Pro Shop's symbol. I was looking
away and I was like, what the fuck? Weird -ass
filter. I got to look something up. Just as you're
like, pause, kind of thinking of what to do,
you feel the skull kind of like shift around.
It almost seems to whisper in your ear in common.
And it just says, resource management. I'm going
to go pee -pee. We're going to do a little break.
While you figure out how to play your character,
Zach, Jesus Christ. Yeah, let's take two. We'll
figure out what Zach's looking up, and then we'll
be back at the top. So we'll jump back in at
the top of Taldeer's turn. What'd you find, Taldeer?
I can't use my reaction on myself. I feel like
there's a joke there. Yeah. I was going to say
something, but decided not to. Use my reaction
on myself? We're so good at derailing it. We've
derailed it with not derailing it. I'm trying
to find the joke. I just don't get it. Like jacking
off. Is that a reaction? Sometimes. Sometimes
you're like, I need to do this now. Sometimes
you just really set me off. Yeah, I mean like
you're hungry and you got 20 minutes before dinner.
What else are you going to do? I don't know if
that hunger has ever triggered me jacking off,
but... Okay. Mr. High Horse, what are you going
to do with your turntale, dear? Somebody didn't
go to college. I'm just kidding. Let's try to
hit this fucking thing that's on my face. Okay.
I'm not, am I like, do I have like the grappled
condition, restrained condition, anything like
that? Or am I just like stunned essentially and
just don't have an action? Yeah, functionally
stunned one. Okay. Then I will swing at him and
all of my attacks have the holy trait. So, and
they're also bludgeoning. So this is kind of
my, my jam. Well, rolling dice is not, so let's
see how it goes. I just feel like, the thing
about it is, I just feel like I should be allowed
to roll two dice and take the better. What'd
you roll, buddy? Well, so the thing about it
is, I just feel like with where I'm at as a character,
that just feels right to do that, you know? No,
I get it. Did you have a hero point? Can I use
one of my hero points for him? Okay. Can I give
him my hero point? Can I roll for him from here
on out? Can I just puppeteer him? No, I'm going
to say no. We got lots of hero points for people
that are rolling dice. I don't like the transfer.
What do you mean we got lots of hero points?
You have never given one out, ever. They are
only on natural 20s. How many you got, Michelle?
He's giving me like two for my role playing.
That's why you don't have any. Yeah. Yeah. Gotta
roll them 20s. What'd you roll? Well, so I rolled
it and it hit it. What it did, what happened
was it rolled It rolled kind of like weirdly
across the top of my little dice box thing. Yeah,
weird. Got it. So I just feel like I should re
-roll it. It's cocked. What is it? Cocked? What
do they call it? Cocked? His poor dice is just
watching his wife get banged. It's called a cracked
die. This die is not cracked. It just did not
roll in the box. I thought it was cocked. Cocked
or cracked or whatever. I've heard both. I've
never heard cracked. I feel like if we all agree...
Just what is the number that you roll? If we
all agree as a table that if it goes outside
the box, you re -roll it, good or bad. I think
we shouldn't... I mean, as long as you stick
to the... How big's the box? What's in the box,
man? It's not that big. It's like a relatively
small box, so I just feel like... If we can all
agree to that as a table, I'll just re -roll
this dice and we don't have to talk about it.
I'm good with it if it's an always roll. I think...
No, just give me the number. What's the number?
Kill yourself, Charles. It's a natural one. Natural
one! I was so hopeful this was going to happen.
Great. That means we all fucking lose a hero
point. No, I'm just kidding. Go ahead and roll
your attack damage. What do you mean, roll my
attack damage? Yeah, what's the damage on your
attack? Oh, man, you're going to kill me, dude.
You're going to kill me? A lot? Nine? Nine. This
is not the time to roll well. As you go to make
the attack, the force of the... entity that has
adhered itself to you just shifts and you end
up striking yourself with the hammer and take
nine points of damage. Damn. Yeah. I'm my own
worst enemy. Don't do that. Hit them, not you.
Yeah. I guess I'll just lay on hands myself for
my final action and then get six hit points back.
Okay. Lay on hands, six hit points back. We are
once again to the top of the order. Wesley, crouched
behind this container that's sort of to the,
I guess, north of this space. Just your little
witch's hat poking out on top. What are you going
to do? Um... I use Blazing Soul. That's the rock
that just protects you from heat. Why did you
say activate Blazing Soul and then it says that
I can... If you click into it, there's a trigger,
which is a creature within 60 feet is critically
hit by or critically fails to save against the
fire effect and is not reduced to zero hit points.
So, no. Yeah. Taz is pretty much the only one
who could... Realistically use that with a firebomb.
Okay, well then. Guess I'll do what I always
do. Devise a strategy. Alright, make that roll.
Seventeen. Fucking wild. 17 plus 7. Oh, plus
7. Yeah, that's going to be a hit. Not a critical,
though. Cool. Let's try it. We already know their
weakness. Did I tell them their weakness? You
guys know their weakness? Hell yeah. It was positive
stuff, right? Vitality. Energy, yeah. Positive
stuff, alright. But not for Wes. You're looking
really good today. Yeah, you're looking real
sharp. I love the way the flesh just falls off
your face. It's beautiful. Yeah, really sharp
cheekbones. I'll be coming. And again, if I were
on you, I'd be coming too. What did you say?
I'm a high five out there. Amherst's eyes fucking...
Just close a bit and fucking turn into slits,
kind of looking into the back of Talzir's head.
Just whispers and oops off. That's my friend.
Yeah. Okay, I'm going to use a strategic strike.
Awesome. Also unrelated. Use my fist. Instead
of your magical sword, you're just going to...
Bam! Yeah. Just punch it. Yeah, I'll use my...
Okay. All right. Oh, I should read. Mm -hmm.
What is that one? 16 plus 7? Okay, so if you're
doing just the... strategic strike, then you
don't have to roll the attack because your initial
devised stratagem took that place. Ah, yes, I
remember that. Or are you... So yeah, you can
just roll damage and hold on to that if you want
for whatever you're going to do next. Seven.
Okay, seven points of magical slashing damage,
which does make a difference. I did give you
the full damage last time, but almost did not.
All right. As you take this creature down, you
see the bone starting to chip and break. It's
starting to kind of lose its substance, but it
is still up. What are you going to do? I'll leave
you out one more action. We want to hit it again.
Hit it again. Oh, it's smart. I'll hit it again.
All right. Now I do have to roll again, right?
Yeah, roll again. 16. 16. I like those dice.
16 plus... 7 minus 5, so 16 plus 2. That's a
hit. So go ahead and roll your damage. Six. Six
points of damage. Still up, but starting to look
real rough this one. Lame. Next up, I believe,
Taz. Amorous. Wait, Amorous, sorry. Next up,
Amorous. I'll go. I'll go. What I meant was,
next up, Taz's friend, Amorous. Alright, and
I know I should know by now because I think I
ask every time somebody gets close to me. I could
fire the bow within five feet. Yeah, I think
we came across it. Alright, cool. I'm going to
shoot the one that's on... Is the one that is
on Teldir technically flanked? Yeah, right? Because
it's kind of in between him and... I'm sure it
fucking looks like it. Yeah, I think so. I think
if you rule against it, you're against us and
you're trying to TPK, honestly. Technically,
it depends on if Taz is threatening it, which
means Taz has to either be, like, unarmed proficient,
like, proficient with unarmed attacks or wielding
a weapon, which could... I literally attacked
it. Taz used the weapon. Threaten it. I feel
like Sammy made the decision for me, so no, it's
not flanked because I am very much against you
and would love to TPK this group. Oh, yeah. So
go ahead and roll your attack. It's TPK. Total
party kill. That was for the people who don't
know. You know, the listeners who aren't aware.
I get it. My grandma. Yeah. All right, so I'm
going to shoot the one that's on Teldir. I thought
it was tequila punch cocktail. I don't know how
to spell it. Nat 20 for a 27 to hit. That's a
crit, right? That's a crit. That's a crit, baby.
I totally know what that means. Why don't you
just read it to us, Amaris, or give us the highlights
of the critical effect. So the critical effect
is now 2d8 instead of 1. And I also get a d10.
Deadly die? Deadly. Nice. Yeah. Okay. So roll
all those dice. And that's all piercing. I want
to get on the same page with everybody here.
So the weapon damage die gets doubled, as does
any bonus damage you get from the hunted prey,
as does any base damage you get. However, the
deadly die does not get doubled. Because that
only comes into effect on a crit anyway. Right.
And we decided as a table to just double the
die instead of doubling the number. Well, so
the rule in the game is that you... double whatever
you roll, like you roll one die and double it.
But if you want to roll two dice, as long as
you're doing it consistently, I don't personally
care. Yeah, I like to throw rocks, so. Yeah.
And it worked out exactly the same. Two twos
and a six for Ben. Two twos and a six for Ten,
and it's a crit. So he is also... Does the longbow
give him any kind of mobility penalty or anything
like that? Yeah, if the target of the critical
hit is adjacent to a surface, it gets stuck to
that surface by the missile. The target is mobilized
and must spend an interact action to attempt
a DC -10 athletics check to pull the missile
free. It can't move from its base until it succeeds.
The creature doesn't become stuck if it is incorporeal,
is liquid, or could otherwise escape without
effort. Would it get pinned to Taldir? I just,
and this is probably not rules as written, but
just thinking out loud about how this would mechanically
play out in my mind. I made it re -roll the fortitude
save to stay attached to Taldir since it got
pinned. It rolled a natural one. So I'm going
to say that as part of this, you shoot it with
a longbow and your arrow goes right between a
gap in the back of its skull. pulls it from Taldir's
own head. The surrounding bone structure collapses
and frees him. And I'm going to push this creature
off over. That's Taldir. I'm going to push this
creature off over here. Does it get pinned to
the creature that was standing behind it? Well,
he's going to get pinned right here. All right.
That works for me. Yeah. All right. Thought I
could get a twofer. After all of that, is there
anything else you would like to do on your turn?
I have no idea where you're at in the action
economy. That was my first, so I'm going to go
ahead and move my prey to... Oh, and I got to
give it the 10 points damage real quick. The
one that is... Actually, no, I'm going to move
behind Taz here. And then I'm going to shoot
the one that's in front of Taldir. But you are
leaving your hunt pretty where it's at, correct?
For now, yeah. Okay. So you begin to shoot the
one directly in front of Taldir. Take your shot.
Apply the map. That's a miss. Okay. Is it a crit,
though? That's important. No, it's just a miss.
All right. So that is your turn. Up next, I believe,
are the skeletons as... Skeleton... He's going
to attempt to take a swipe at... I'm just going
to have these guys trade off. He's going to go
take a one -shot at Taldir. That's going to be
a 24 to hit. I assume that hits, but it's not
a crit. That's only five points of slashing damage.
And I think he's... Let me see if he's got anything
else that looks... interesting for him to do
right now. Um... I'm gonna live forever. You
know, I think he's just gonna, like, uh... He's
in ground and pound mode, so... It's a critical
fail. Um... Doesn't super matter for him, but...
Where are we? He's going to use this last action
to retreat toward the shrine. Put a little distance
here. Okay. So he pulls away and runs to the
top of this staircase to the east. You see him
kind of like attempting to make his way back
toward the shrine that he is protecting. That
is his turn. The second creature. Here's going
to take two shots at Tez. That's going to be
a... What? That's going to be a 17 to hit. Sorry,
18 to hit. Miss. Miss. He's just like clawing
at you. You're kind of scurrying about. I'm pretending
to punch back. What about 20? Does 20 hit? Yeah.
Yeah, all right. I will use my reaction. Yeah,
bitch! I'll fucking throw a fake punch again.
No need to be hurtful. What's your reaction do
for us? He gets resistance to all damage against
the triggering damage equal to two plus my level,
so four. And if you can move, you can step as
a free action, which means you can move five
feet in any direction as a free action. Before
the hit happens or after it happens? After. So
you're going to gain the resistance immediately,
which is going to take the total damage down
to one. And then if you want to, you can move.
Yeah, I will do that. I'm going to move. Five
feet, right? So I can only go here. Yeah. Yeah,
I was going to do that. He is going. And as I
walk away, I do that flinch. Pretend to punch
as I step back. He's going to put his arms up.
And then as you step away, he's going to. Just
kind of release that Skeletor laugh again. And
step forward. Trying to trap you all in the hallway.
That is going to be the end of his turn. Creature
number or creature letter C here standing on
this crate above Wesley. He's going to kind of
turn to B and just be like. All right, Chris,
we don't have to talk that way. It's just a stereotype,
and it's not cool. I don't like it. Take one
swing at Wesley. That's going to be a 17 to hit.
God damn it. Enraged, he then probably misses
again. That's going to be a 21 minus 5, 16 to
hit. Is that worse? That's worse, I think. That
is worse. All right, well, maybe something changed.
He's going to then descend, just leap down, and...
Can I trip him? Scurry. I'm not handing out free
attacks of opportunity to the best dice roller
I've ever played one of these games with. That's
going to be 10, 15, 20... 25 as he kind of ascends
the first stair and again kind of attempts to
retreat toward the shrine in the back. That is
his turn. Last monster is going to take his first
swing at Taldir. Real quick, I didn't kill that
one that I critted? No, you got... Oh, shit.
All right. That's why I was going to move the
thing. I was like, I look back after reading
something. I'm like, hey, it moved. Make sure
I gave you. Yep. Okay. Wanted to make sure I
gave you the right damage. That's such a funny
word. Aw, man. I critted. He's going to slink
away. Critted my pants. He's going to slink away
behind this wall, trying to get himself some
cover. Did he hit me? No, he didn't hit you.
He missed both. Pretty clearly. That is the creature's
turn. Up next is... Amaris is free. No, Amaris.
Just Amaris. Just Amaris. Nope. Yep. Amaris.
Go ahead, Amaris. It's your turn. Alright. I'm
going to pull my short sword. So that uses an
action just to put the bow away and pull that,
right? Yeah, because they added swap to the remaster,
so you can just swap it out. Cool. And then I
will attack with the short sword. Sword. Make
that attack as the skeleton has you kind of backed
into the corner of this tunnel that has recently
been cleared. 17. does hit, roll your damage.
Six. Six points of damage as you begin to chip
away at this creature. It is starting to look
pretty roughed up. You're starting to see the
bone flake off. Some of the gold and silver,
the gemstones that have been embedded in it,
in its skeleton. I may need to crack and break
or flake away. But I believe that is only your
second action. So go ahead. Take your third.
And I'm going to attack again with the negative.
And that's going to be a miss. Okay. So miss
on the third. Taz, you are up. All right. How
far is this guy? How far is my movement? This
guy ran over here. Okay, I want to... No, I can't.
Wait, I... Jump? Fuck! Alright, I'm gonna jump
on this dude. I wanna jump on him and attack.
Just with my hands. Okay, yeah. Flavor -wise,
you could've, like, leap at him, attempt to attack
him with your little goblin hand. So my whole...
Okay. My whole plan is to do this. Okay, go ahead.
Okay, let me know if this is... I want to use
all my actions. I want to jump on him, attack
him, and when I jump off, I want to spin his
head around so then he doesn't know left from
right. You know, it's kind of like... Let's roll
some dice and see how it goes. So make your first
attack roll. How many dice I got to roll? All
right, first attack. 18. 25 with my fist. 25
to hit. Go ahead and roll your damage, whatever
your goblin fists do. It's a D4. Four. Yeah,
so you leap up, start tearing at him with these
claws. You end up being able to rip a chunk from
him. That's four points of damage. Go ahead and
give us an athletics check. Acrobatics? Uh, I'm
gonna say this is very much strength -based.
Fuck. Alright. I'm gonna lose that one forever.
Okay. Minus one, so sixteen. Did you take the
minus five for the multiple attack? Is it an
attack, though? Because I'm just kind of, like,
jumping off to try to, you know, it's not really,
I'm not gonna damage him, I'm just twisting his...
His skeletal head around, you know? I can't not
hear that stupid reel. Yeah, well, okay. You're
gonna, like, leap off of him. And as you attempt
to, like, rotate his skull, he's gonna, like,
kind of spin, but it's gonna spin in, like, four
just complete circles as that, like... Like,
laughter just, like, fills the cavern. My shit!
That's my turn. Solid tight turn. Wesley, I think
you are up. Cool. Cool, cool, cool. I will devise
a stratagem. Okay. This dude right here. Alright.
And then strategic strike. Awesome. I think you
skipped me, right? Yeah. Did we? Yeah, I'm not
sure how I got back to Wesley. Oh, sorry. That's
right. You're the end of the round. My bad. It
is Taldeer's turn, not Wesley. I was trying to
spare you, man. I didn't want you to... Cool.
Cool, man. What are you going to do? Swing at
this fucking guy next to me and this time I'm
going to roll well. Swing at him and roll well.
Yeah. But per Charles's rule, anything it lands
on, that's what we're calling it regardless of
where it lands. That was the precedent Charles
set. If you feel good about that. That's what
Charles said, so... You gotta find it at least.
24. 24. That is gonna hit for all that damage.
11 points of damage. 11 points of damage. The
one time it may not have been... Holy trait,
bludgeoning. Holy trait, bludgeoning. Oh, actually,
okay, yeah. You bash this skeleton in the skull,
and it blows into dust, and the bones collapse
into a heap at your side. He is destroyed. Does
anybody have any potions or healing otherwise?
Dude, I got it. I just drank water. You what?
You got some? Yeah, dude, I got some. No big
deal. Just an all chemist, you know? Taldeer
will communicate that I'm very badly hurt. You
look fine. You're like never hurt and you got
like a bunch of armor on. I don't have a bunch
of armor on. I have the lowest AC out of anyone
at this table. That is crazy. But you're so bulky.
Yeah, that's just working out is what that is.
They're all show muscles. But my high's not that
strong. So he'll convey that to Taz and obviously
has to wait for Taz's turn. I'll think about
it, dude, you know? Yeah, but in the interim,
he will raise his shield, so he actually has
AC competing with you guys now. All right. Good
to know. Is that your turn? Yeah, there's not
really anything I can do with that last action.
All right, so we will cut back to Wesley, who
now is at the top of the round. Cool, cool, cool.
All right. What sword? Where does it say if it's
one hand? Because I, too, have a shield. That's
real interesting. Real interesting. Real interesting.
Oh, shit. But I don't know if my shield is...
A shield is naturally one hand? Yeah, unless
it... I mean, I think there are some shields
that are, like, big enough to warrant two hands
or something like that, but... Tower shields
or something? Yeah, but you don't have one of
those. But I think you have to raise it to use
it. Yeah, but you do... I can't use my shield
in one hand and my left in my... You can, but
you basically have to use one of your actions
at the end of your turn to raise the shield to
use the protection. Yeah, you don't get any AC
bonus from it unless you specifically spend an
action to raise it. If your shield is raised,
you get access to a reaction. um called called
shield bash shield bash you get that but you
also get a different one that i forget uh but
essentially you can like if you have your shield
raised and you get attacked you can block part
of the damage from the attack with your shield
shield bash sounds like the lame like summer
barbecue that Like Marvel's S .H .I .E .L .D.
agency has. People can bring their own soda and
eat hot dogs. You have to bring their own hot
dog. Their own hot dog. Their own individual
hot dog. Don't bring more than one. We have the
little grill. We got the buns. You bring the
dog. S .H .I .E .L .D. block. Nick Fury with
a saggy open bag of Bar 5 hot dogs waiting his
turn. But yeah, the action is called shield block.
18 to hit? That is gonna hit. Total or on the
die? Total. That's 19. Just to be clear. I mean,
but is it though? You know? That's 19 to hit.
Come for the Pathfinder. Stay for the math. Yeah,
that's going to hit. Go ahead and roll your damage.
I was like, I don't even count that. That's literally.
Okay. You know what? I hit. So whatever. Try
it sometime, Tali. Okay. Five. Five points of
damage. Yeah. Okay. Magical damage. Five points
of magical damage. Good to remember. Just like
Teldir's radiant damage was. Holy. Holy damage.
Can I bring my fangs out? I want my fangs to...
My eyes get all black. It's just going to be
like, I'm confused because I don't have any blood.
But... Pretty cool. I'm just angry. Oh, just
angry. Alright. He's angry. Alright. He's just
like, oh, okay, you're angry. That was my angry
face. Sorry, I've become emotionally stunted
in my undeath age. Alright, so that was one action
to move, one action to do the... Okay, so that's
all three actions as we are back to... Wait,
three? Devise a stratagem, attack, and move.
Right? Yeah, that's three. Drats. So now I'm
just in front of him holding the shield, but
now I'm holding it up. I was really hoping to
go like this. Fuck. I'm just shaking. At your
side, yeah. You get a... You get angry and your
eyes go black and your fangs come out. And like
a friend leapt out from behind the couch to scare
you in the middle of the night, he just takes
a swing at you. I know that reference. That's
going to be a 20 to hit. Yep. Yep. Fuck. He does.
Five points of slashing damage. And then he is
going to move. Hang on. Was that a reaction?
No, it's his turn now. No, it's not. It's my
turn. Oh, that's right. Sorry. Never mind. Wesley.
Take all that back. Take it back. Got so bad.
What really happens? He gets shot in the head.
Yes. Damn it. It's an action again. You moved
him? Pick my bow back up. Alright, swap it again.
Alright, fire the bow. And then I'm going to
fire the bow again. Okay. Not a crit, but there
we go. 17 to hit. 17 total, that does hit. Five
damage. Five points of damage. Yep, that is good
to go. Still up. What else are you going to do?
Or is that all three? That's it. Quick and easy.
Alright. As he leans against the wall and just
waits his turn again. Smoking an imaginary cigarette.
This one back here is going to take his pickaxe
and Throw it at... I'm going to roll a d4. Evens.
Wesley. Telldeer. Does a 23 hit? Who? Oh, you
guys already know. Yeah, it hits. Okay, that's
going to be... I feel like Taldir's next character
should be named Lucky. Nine points of piercing
damage as he does throw it at Taldir and it does
hit. I'm dying one. I feel like he does Ace Ventura
at you, but with a pickaxe. It's just hanging
out of your thigh. You're dying? Yeah, dying
one. Taldir goes down. He is going to then move
5, 10, 15. And he'll just stay back here. We're
going to go on to this creature who's going to
come up. He has the opportunity to flank, which
will give him a plus 2. Fuck. Flank me? Yep.
That's going to be 23 to hit. Which one threw
the pickaxe? This one. And then he ran away.
Like a coward. And there was no range penalty
on a thrown weapon at that range. He was right
here. Like a thrown weapon that is not meant
to be thrown, to be clear. An improvised weapon.
He was right here. It's a throwing pickaxe. I
don't think those are real. You've heard of throwing
axes, right? It's the same concept. Yeah, but
this one's only supposed to be thrown to pick.
Look, I am limited by the stat block. The stat
block that I made myself 100 % on my own. There's
really no range. There's no limit to the thrown
pickaxe. This is what he does. Think of it like
a monk weapon. I feel like if there's no... Monks
don't fight. ...range, then he can't throw it.
Now you're talking about 5e, and I get that it
feels like monks don't fight, but that's because
they're a badly designed class. All right, so...
Hang on, I won't stand idly by and let you throw
a fucking pickaxe at him without fighting back
on that. I'm trying to say that there's no fucking
range penalty. Bah. I say bah. Well, I say Wesley
takes five points of piercing damage as she gets
scratched by the other skeleton. Scratched? Yeah.
I was stabbed. He moved behind you and just clawed
at you. He's pretty angry. You fucked him up
real bad. This is the one that you've just been
laying into all combat. Bitch. Let's see. Yeah,
he's going to miss with the map. So then the
final creature, which is also flanking Wesley,
going to take a swing at her. That's not going
to hit a 7 plus 7, 4, 2, 6, 16 total? Nope. I
didn't think so. Second attempt. Terrible shot.
I'm trying my best. Your best sucks. It's a 14
total. Once again, that is worse than before.
He is then, I think, going to move behind this
rock and get some cover. No. Not D &D. Yep. We
don't have it. So nice to move around the map.
That is their turn. Up next, not like this has
been. Five rounds now or whatever. Amaris, you
are up. What are you going to do? One of your
friends is dying. One of the skeletons is destroyed.
I am going to take one shot at the one that's
in front of Wesley. Okay. 24 to hit. 24 is going
to hit. Yep. Not quite a crit, but definitely
a hit. Two damage. And then I'm going to try
to stabilize. Right? Stabilize? Yeah, what are
the rules for that? So, medicine, administer
first aid. Admitter a medicine check. Yeah, attempt
a medicine check on a creature. DC is five. Plus
the recovery roll. Typically 15 plus it's dying
on you. Right. When you say stabilize, I just
imagine you on top of him like, stay with me!
Alright, go ahead and make that check. So is
that 16? 16 would be DC. How many turns have
passed since I first threw my bomb? Oh, that's
a good point. I think we're on round 4. So they
all have taken four points of fire damage. That's
true. I'll adjust. Doesn't actually change. Not
all of them. Right. Not all of them, but yeah.
I think it was just these two anyway. Oh, no.
This one, too. It was three of them. Yeah. All
right. Four points is four points. I feel like
it was definitely the three that are alive. Yeah,
me too. I think it was definitely the three that
are alive. Definitely not this one, but all right.
I did add it. Didn't change anything yet, but
could eventually, so good catch. And then you
managed to stabilize Taldir, so now you don't
make death saves. I'm going to be doing CPR,
and I'm going to breathe life into him and also
be patching up his wound. And then I'm going
to... Yeah, I rolled a 24. Amaris just gets on
top of Taldir and starts tonguing him. We're
going to... Very much like Ghost. But with his
body that's not moving. Oh, God. All right. I
can't even track it anymore. Is that your turn?
So, can I try to heal him? Since that was a success?
Or does he just stay stabilized? I believe he
just... Are you trained in medicine? I am. Then
you can roll... No, you can't. We're in combat.
After combat. Alright, well then I'm going to
take another shot at... Fuck. I probably have
to pull my bow back out. I mean, I wouldn't have
put it away. I would have sat it next to me.
Nah, I think that's all my turn. Okay. Alright.
That sounds good. Can I stand back up at least?
Yeah, yeah, yeah. For sure. Alright. I would
say you could stand and re -equip yourself. That
makes sense. Okay, cool. All right. So that is
Amaris's turn. I believe we are on to Taz. I'm
going to scream at him. You fucking pussies.
I'm going to run over here to this guy. Okay.
I'm going to equip two of my fires. And throw
them at him. Okay, you can throw two at a time.
I'll just throw them all. Yeah, just two and
one. Or can I? Can I do that? I feel like I've
done that before. If not, I'll just throw fucking
one. Yeah, throw one and then the other, I think.
Okay. Because I know... All right, hold on. Give
me a fucking second, dude. All right, I'll throw
one. Okay. Uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, 24.
24 does hit. What's the damage on that? Three
points of fire. He's already taken persistence.
Right, so he would have taken... Three points.
Yes, sir. Three points, and then any splash,
because he takes the splash, too, even though
it's him, or is it just anyone around him? Just
anyone around, I believe. Okay. And then my last
attack, I will... I'm going to try to shove him.
I want to push him, see if I can make him fall
over. Okay. You shove him. Go ahead and make
an athletics. Check against his Fortitude DC.
18. Not bad. Minus one. Yeah, so 18, 19, minus
one. 19 minus one. Okay, but I believe it's subject
to the map too, right? What? Still like a push
attack. I'm not sure to see basic actions. Yes,
it is an attack. Shove is an attack, Trey. Shove
is an attack. Oh, yeah, and it takes the map.
Okay. Yeah, so I would get... I rolled an 18.
Yeah, so as you go to shove him, he kind of just
like... So I would only get... Hold on. So 18.
So I would get a penalty, right? So then I'd
only get plus 3. 18, 19, 20, 21. Minus 1, so
20. Oh, okay. So then, yeah, you are successful.
You shove him over. He falls down and just looks
at you like, what a dick! I'm just going to start
fucking air -humping Degeneration X. Alright,
I haven't heard that in a while. Degeneration
X. All right, so that is... You guys just hear
some kind of clapping, which is like, you know,
in the distance. I was like, yeah, yeah. Now,
I don't want to forget Taldir, so Taldir, what
are you going to do with your turn? Lay unconscious.
All right. Oh, no, you stabilize. For your second
action. Okay. Sorry. That was rude. I felt it
as soon as I said it. I would have said it anyway,
but I felt it as soon as I said it. What a dick,
dude. You're the GM? You're talking like that,
bro? You are punching big, Charles. We're not
yours. Fair enough. Revenge is sweet. Much like
this coffee. It got a lot of pumpkin spice creamer
in here. Wesley, it is your turn. What are you
going to do? It's creamer with coffee. I'm going
to buy a stratagem. All right. Good. Twelve.
Twelve total. Twelve total? Oh, I got a hero
point. Oh. But I thought I didn't give those
out. Who rolled a 20? 15 plus 7. 15 plus is 22.
22. That's math. That's math. Alright, roll that
damage. You already know that's a hit. 10. 10
points of damage as this creature begins to fall
apart. It's not... It's not vitality or holy
damage, right? Unholy. Well, there you go. That's...
It ain't holy. It ain't holy. I give it strength.
Go ahead and roll a reflex save. Or reflex check.
I don't think it's a save. This is a 17. Total?
Reflex? Well, I don't know where the reflex is.
Right next to your... 17 plus 8. 17 plus 8. As
this creature begins to fall apart, you sense
this sensation kind of at your side where you
store your coins or other jewels that you may
have found earlier. And you're able to quickly
latch onto it as it begins to pull away from
you. And this creature does utter just like a...
before collapsing into a pile of bones. Wait,
he was trying to take my money? What a little
bitch. He was trying to steal from you? He might
have been. Alright. But I think you still have
an action. He has jewels. He's dead, right? Yeah.
Can I start looting him? can. There's still two
other creatures, but sure. I would say it's a
skeleton. You don't even have to work that hard.
It has a rope around its neck on which a small
purse hangs. You do notice that the jewels and
gold and silver that you had witnessed as part
of his skeleton are now kind of dull and lifeless
looking. Like glass or lead. But this pouch does
hang around his neck. You can take. I'll take
that. Okay. You take that. Roll a D100 for me.
I never rolled a D100. I was like, not a real
dice. You have. You get the D10 with the double
digit and the D10 with a single digit. And then
you roll it. Double digits are the tens. Okay,
hold on, hold on. I gotta pick the right code.
Yeah, no worries. Is our heart out at 8 or 8
.30? 8 to 8 .30 is fine. Okay. Yeah, I think
we'll be very close to 8, but it'll probably
be maybe 5 or 10 after if we can swing that.
D100. 95. 95. All right. Within the bag are an
assortment of coins and gems that are worth 100
gold pieces. Or sorry. Sorry. 95. Whatever you
rolled. No, you said 100. You said 100. I take
it back. I'll take 95. Hey, I'm not Cindy. There's
another five gold hanging around here somewhere.
Who is that? Yeah, the other ones. The other
dead ones. Okay. Dang, 95? Yep. I just started
counting. I hear her say she found 95 gold off
the skeleton. I look at the one that I just pushed
on the ground, and I put my fist in my hand.
That is its turn, however. It's going to... This
one back here is going to attempt to... So the
one that kind of retreated all the way to the
altar, seeing his... Not kind of. He retreated.
He ran away. Fellow skeletons fall in combat.
He goes forward 5, 10, 15, 20, 25, 30 feet. He
already threw his pickaxe, so he can't do that
again. He's going to move one more time. 5, 10,
15, 20 on top of his sneak attack. No, I'm just
kidding. Dead buddy. And... 18 hit. Amaris? Uh,
yeah. I have 18 that hits. Okay, so that is 8
points of slashing damage as he cuts into you.
On to his only surviving friend who's going to
make a couple of attacks against Taz. Wait, he's
gonna... He's going to get up? He's going to
use his first action to stand. His second action
is going to be a 19 to hit. That hits, I guess.
8 points of slashing damage. Is there... 19 on
the die. Minus 5 plus. That's going to hit. 21
total. That's going to be 9 points of slashing
damage against Taz. God damn. But that is their
turn. Up next, Amaris. Amaris, you hear me go,
and I fall. Is Taz dying one? Yes, sir. Okay,
I want to clarify because apparently that's my
job. All right. Amaris, you're up. Your friend
just went down. Your other friend is still on
the ground. Wait, wait, wait. Did you try to
skip my turn again? No, I just said it's your
turn, Ambrose. No, no, no, no. But I go before
the skeletons. Did you mess it up again? Taz,
you're still alive. Go ahead and take your turn.
I'm not going to rewind all of it because I don't
feel like doing all of that again. You're re
-rolling those bitch -ass dice, though. If you
manage to kill the creature before his turn,
then we'll just cut off whatever he did. Alright,
I'm going to shoot the one that's near Taz. All
right. I'm behind a rock, bro. Yeah, he's going
to have a plus two circumstance penalty or plus
two circumstance bonus to his AC based on your
current position. He's prone, so if you run up.
Yeah. All right. Fuck. All right, I'm going to
run over there. As you hit the corner, you see
me doing the Degeneration X thing. Wait. Not
again. So as you run, does an 18 hit? I'm not
going to let you fucking run up on me when it's
my turn. No, well, these creatures actually have
an attack of opportunity. He wasn't there. It
wasn't his turn. He's back in the corner hiding.
Oh, damn it. That's right. Fine. Yeah, that's
true. I look up at God and do the degeneration.
Look up at God. Fuck. Can I stand on top of this
rock? How big is it? You could make an acrobatics
check to try to stand on top of the rock. Would
that still be two turns? Or one with his movement?
That would be movement. As long as you have the
movement space in your one turn, that's fine.
But just make an acrobatics check to stand on.
22. Oh, you're great. Then I'm going to switch
to my kukuri. Okay, so that's two actions. So
your third and final action. And I'm going to
fucking just fucking double. hand and fucking
jump down on him. Nice. Go ahead and roll that
attack. You just fall. Fifteen? You climb on
the rock, like, pull this badass movement off
as you jump like Legolas style and just sail
past the skeleton and strike the earth near him.
That is a miss. Wait, I said sixteen. No, I'm
just kidding. Fuck. That's a 17? It sucked too
because it was a fucking 20 and just barely fell
over to the 8. Ugh. Gross. Fast forward the tape.
1, 2, 3. He doesn't get a bonus because it's
prone? Oh! Good call. That would be a plus. I'll
give you a plus 2 circumstance bonus for it being
prone beneath you. So you're... It's prone, and
you've got a little bit of height on it. Go ahead
and take the plus two. What does that make it?
18 total? Yeah. That's a fucking hit. Roll your
damage. Dang. Yeah, it says you have plus four
against range, but you remain off guard. So,
yeah, there is a... Yeah. He fell on him and
attacked. Yeah, if he's off guard, that's going
to be... Well, I guess it wouldn't be a bonus.
The result is the same. It would be a penalty
to the AC rather than a bonus to the attack,
but the end result is it hits. Which just sounds
funny because he jumps off onto him, so if he
missed, he would just land in the space next
to him. Yeah, I guess. Thankfully, we don't have
to worry about that buffoonish failure and instead
roll your damage. What are we, the fucking Looney
Tunes? Rolled a fat one for a total of four damage.
Total four points of damage as this creature
is starting to look badly wounded, but is still
up. That is your turn. Finally. All of that for
a fucking one. Two, three. You really? That should
look really cool, though. I'm awful at fucking
rolling damage with this character. For a turn
that... Started with your friend's death. It
really went the player's way. Yeah, if you say
so. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Three, four, five. Instead
of killing Taz, he's going to take two swings
at Wesley. First one is an 18 to hit. I have
18. So does Ty go to me? Ty goes to the attack.
When you have 18 AC, you really have 17. Yeah,
that's... You're going to take 8 points of slashing
damage, but he is going to critically fail the
second attack, and I'll say that... Yeah, okay.
So that is his turn. This creature over here
has just a couple hit points left. He is going
to make an attack. He's... Desperate. So that's
going to be a 20 to hit Taz. That hits. That
hits. That's going to be six points of slashing
damage. Ah! Second one's going to be a miss for
sure. Third one's going to be a miss for sure
as well. That is their turn. After the first
attack and then the second one misses, I go back
to doing the flick. Just giving them the old
crossover. All right. Yeah. That is their turn.
Taz, you are up. Yeah, man. Not doing so good,
bro. All right, I'm just going to do fucking
two attacks. Pull out my dagger, right? Is that
one action? Okay, yep. You guys said swapping
is one action, right? So I pull out. Swapping.
Yeah. So one action. Oh, natural 20. Natural.
Hell yeah. Hell yeah. Roll that. A total of 27.
Roll your damage. Take your hero point. That's
how you do that, Taldir. Yeah. He's dead. Taldir,
any response? I saved him. I don't know if he's
dead. So, you know, I'm like, I was on there.
So I'm like, see that? Check this out. And I
just do a fucking spinning attack with my fucking,
my dagger. Hopefully chop this little bitch's
head off. Fighting me is really exhausting. So
sometimes when we're done, my enemies go to sleep.
They're all tuckered out. Five total. Five total.
As you do manage to destroy this creature, go
ahead and make a reflex save. Oh, shit. I'm going
to come after your money. Reflex save. 20. 20
total. Again, your little goblin hand claws manage
to grab at your coin purse as it begins to pull
away from you. God damn it. I punch it as it's,
like, grabbing my purse. I'm like... I think
I put way too much gold in this room on the pretext
you were going to lose a lot of gold in this
room. But the creature... I'm going to scream
out loud and be like, Woo! I got one body towel
here! Yeah! Woo! What's the score? What's the
score? I was like, listen. Listen for him to
say something. And as you do, the faint memory
of Taldir pleading for a potion suddenly pops
into your brain. I just go, I'm going to look
at Amrys and be like, is he? I think I saved
him. But he still isn't moving or opening his
eyes. I've been taught, but I don't pay attention
that well sometimes, so I think I did it right.
I think I have a third action. If I have a third
action, I'm going to run that way. Okay. Go ahead.
And then that's it. All right. So that is your
turn, Taldir. For your turn, you breathe, stare
into the sky, think about your own mortality.
Don't even stare, because my eyes are closed.
Right, just back of your lids. Taz ran over to
open your eyes. I ran over, I see him flinching,
I was like, oh my god! I forget what book I was
reading, but somebody was like, oh, did you manage
to save him? And the other character just shrugged
and was like, I'm not sure, but... The bleeding
stopped. All right. So that is the end of the
round. Back to the top of the order. Wesley,
what are you going to do? There's one of these
skeletal creatures left. Going to try to make
friends? I'm going to do no calls for alarm.
I'm just kidding. Let's talk it out. Okay, I'm
going to kill it. All right. So I devise a stratagem.
14 plus 7. 14 plus 7. That does hit. Go ahead
and roll your damage. You have a shot here. Five.
Five. points of damage. Close, but not yet. What
are you going to do with your other turns? Let's
roll again. Let's roll it again. 12 plus 7? 19.
That does hit. Roll your damage. Oh, the wheels
turning the drills. Yeah. Six plus five. Eleven.
While you're at it, why don't you go ahead and
roll a reflex save? Not yet. This is still your
gold. Yeah, but I'm going to get money. Thirteen
plus eight. Thirteen plus eight. Cut. Yeah, that's
good enough. All right. You do manage to stop
it as the final creature collapses. Why don't
the three characters that are up roll a will
save? Will save? How about I just pass? I mean,
you could choose to fail, I guess. Fourteen.
I really need a dice tray. Nine plus seven. Ten.
1610. Taz and Amrys, as Wesley, I imagine, is
kind of looking over the bodies of the skeletons,
maybe takes notice of Taldir being downed for
the moment. You, your eyes are drawn toward this
blue emerald in the hands of the statue before
you. And within it, you feel like you can see
the flicker of a heartbeat. And in the deepest
reaches of your soul is born a singular desire
to protect this gym, this shrine at all costs.
And that's where we're going to call it a game.
We will see you next week when we roll bravely
on. Thank you everyone for listening. And because
I got called stingy, let's just do it. I have
a list. I thought I would remember, but I do
have a list. Taldir. Wesley. Actually, everybody.
Go ahead and take a hero point for the game.
Amaris, I liked your attempt to jump over the
rock. Thought that was cool. Taz, I remember,
had something to do with something cool. You
know what? Everybody did something cool. I should
have written down more details. I didn't. four
hero points around the table. We'll see you next
week. And fourth level? Nice. Yeah, fifth? That's
what I thought we were getting. Me too, that's
why I got so excited. I get hero points all the
time. I'm just kidding. Thank you. Thanks everybody.
Good night. Roll Bravely is a fan production
featuring the Pathfinder second edition role
playing system and is created for entertainment
purposes only. All characters, adventures, and
interpretations of game mechanics are our own
creation and do not represent official Pathfinder
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are owned by Paizo Inc. We are not affiliated
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Thank you for listening and please join us next
time as we roll bravely on.