Have you heard anyone do that, like, throat singing
or whatever? Oh, yeah. Like, that meditating
thing. Your throat game is way better than mine,
Sammy. That's crazy. Yeah, dude. I got a strong
-ass throat. A throat goat, even. So, I don't
know if I told you guys, Megan bought me this
tea. Oh, boy. Megan's throat coat. It's called
Throat Coat. But she was like, oh, babe, I bought
you this throat goat. And I was like, excuse
me? She's like, yeah, for the podcast. And I
was like, first of all, what do you think this
podcast is about? And then she's like, well,
I heard... Save it for vacation. The guy that
plays Ruxin in The League. She's like, I heard
him talking about it on his podcast because he
does cartoon voices, voiceovers. And she's like,
so I got it. I'm like, wait, what was it called?
She's like, throat goat. okay that is not what
i thought i was like cool gift i don't know what
i was supposed to do with that i if it was one
of those it could have been cooler but pardon
my disappointment hello and welcome to roll bravely
a live play pathfinder second edition tabletop
role -playing game podcast we're five friends
battle imaginary monsters, solve pretend problems,
and roll dice. I fucked it up. You know what?
The most dangerous thing we do at this table
is fucking live arithmetic, so let's just roll
with that. I am your Game Master, Charles Reno.
Before we get started, let's introduce the table.
Hey, everybody. My name's Kenny. I play Amaris.
He's a leafling ranger. Hey, everybody. My name
is Zach. I play Daldir. He's a Nephilim liberator.
I like how when you say your intro, Kenny, you
end it with a question. You're asking us. Is
this what I am? I'm sorry, is that not how an
intro goes? It's supposed to be, you're speaking
a statement, you know, you're just like, Nephilim?
Ranger? I can never tell when he's done. Well,
you know, if there's one more thing I could add,
is I'm Ron Burgundy? Yeah. This is going to be
our three buddies who actually download this
on Reddit. Like, I think he's not actually playing
a ranger. It's a mystery. Yeah, it's a mystery
flavor. Well, my name's Sammy. I play Taz, who's
an alchemist. My name is Michelle. I play Wesley
Nixon, who's an elf damn fair investigator. I
just finished the book Passion of the Christ,
the musical. She thought it was a comedy. So
now she's really investing for dummies. You fucking
read fast as fuck. Well, Passion of the Christ
went by really quick. It's just a little light
reading. Just a little light reading. She's reading
like... How does it stack up to Hamilton? That's
really what I need to know. Well, she thought
it was funny. Hamilton, I have never seen it.
I have no idea what it's about. I'm imagining
that once she's done reading Investing for Dummies,
she's going to start pitching MLMs to the group.
I'm NFTs. It's not about salary, it's about revenue
streams. See, if you get two more people, and
then each of them get two more people, you only
have to get two people. Like, once you get your
two people, then they get two people. You see?
And then that's when we get the money, man. That's
when we start raking in the money. And then everyone
buys from me. All right, everybody up on roll
20. Yeah. You actually have a map? I don't see
anything. Crazy. Wait, we didn't do a recap.
You don't see anything yet. There we are. Oh!
Oh! It's a wall. That's a scary wall. Or a road.
That's the scariest fucking thing I've ever seen
in my mind. It is. That is accurate. Very good.
There was a... Well, you know, I think it's important
to clarify that it's a mine shaft. We're not...
Walking on a big old wiener. A big old wiener.
So, the party last we left off had decided to
find Hilda Onyx Fist in order to perhaps locate
more clues regarding the strange occurrence that
they experienced when first arriving at Hope's
Embrace. And to also perhaps unravel part of
the mystery of how it connects to mining site
616. They were able to locate a couple of dwarves
deep in mourning following the unexplained and
mysterious explosion at Ember headquarters, which
resulted in the death of several dozen dwarves
employed with the corporation. It's a shame.
It's a shame. Hopefully they figure that out
now. Senseless violence. Yeah. They told you
that they would lead you to Hilda if you were
to help her escape the city where she might be
able to return home and have greater protections
from her newfound enemies within the Ember Corporation.
You followed them through a tunnel leading to
a mineshaft where you walked a not great distance.
before hearing this kind of skittering sound,
the sound of like nails on rock or... Yep, fuck
it, just nails on rock. That's pretty much what
you heard. We can pick up there this sound of
like echoing down this dark pathway. begins to
reverberate and echo until it seems as if an
army of these creatures is creating this noise.
The party braces itself. The two dwarves who
came with you suddenly break their kind of stoic
kind of frozen state and scream that it is too
late and begin to flee behind you. As this happens,
you see these Two kind of hideous, small, vaguely
humanoid creatures come into view, just launching
themselves on all fours down the hallway at the
party. Let's go ahead and introduce them. Nope,
that's wrong. Oh, they're going to introduce
themselves. That's so kind of them. My name is
Lord Byron. What is your weakness? My weakness
is the smell of spring in the air. Yeah, they
look creepy. My weakness is I care too much.
Yeah, they are vaguely, you know, Gollum -esque,
Lord of the Rings, very long arms and legs, thin
bodies covered in these kind of like scabs that
have like hardened into an almost rock -like
appearance. For those of you who can make it
out at some distance, you can see they have these
incredibly large, angled, thick teeth in their
mouth, and they are barreling towards you. I
know we probably should have used the perception
check from last time, but old habits die hard,
and we are going to roll initiative. So give
me what you got when you got it. I'm just going
to roll 3d20 and take the best one. Is that cool?
21. For anyone else, I'd say no, but for you,
that's probably fine. What'd you get, Zach? 10.
Zach, for those who can't see, looks super happy.
How deer's got a 10? 21 total for Amorous, right?
Including your bonus? Perception? Okay. Yeah,
you can't actually roll above 20 on a d20, Charles.
I explained it in the intro. Basic arithmetic
is the most dangerous thing we do on this podcast.
I also got 21. 21. You guys just decide who goes
first, by the way. We go together? Do we hold
hands? I think you should. Can we either lock
toes so I can use both my hands? Yeah, yeah.
All right, so that's two actions for each of
you. You remember that one time. Wesley? 16.
16 total. As these creatures race toward you,
the first one, he's going to beat all of you
as... He kind of lunges and... Let's, uh... Real
quick. Yeah, let's try to... Go ahead. In terms
of party order, I think we probably would not
have just been all walking in, like, a line like
this. I agree. Yeah. I was about to address this.
You can back them up a little bit. You know,
you can back them up like over here. I know we
had, uh... I believe two in front and two behind.
I want to say that as you descended the ladder,
Taz was actually in front of Amaris, though I
assume the party would perhaps reshuffle that
order. So you came down the ladder. I believe
it was actually Wesley behind Taldir and then
Amaris behind Taz. No, I think Amaris went first
and then I went down after. Yeah, but I would
have stayed towards the back. And also... This
is showing us a straight shaft, and some shafts
are curved. Did they come sneaking around the
corner, or was this a straight shot because I
could see at least 60 feet in the dark? I think
the good ones are pretty straight. I mean, dwarves
built this one. Okay. So can you back those motherfuckers
up? There's a little twist, but it's mostly fine.
Yeah, who's got dark vision beyond 30 feet? Darkvision
doesn't work like that in Pathfinder. There's
not a range. If you have darkvision, you see
as if you would normally, just in the dark. I
mean, it's in black and white, but it's not ranged.
Yeah, Charles, it's very clear. It's just in
black and white, okay? Yeah, dude. Laid out for
you. I might have been looking at some older
creatures. I just noticed on some of the creatures
they have a darkvision range, but... I will...
Yeah, we will just go with that. That sounds
good. So I will move these creatures... I'm not
going to move them very far. Fuck off. I'm moving
back here. You could say they got a surprise
round or something. They charged us. Yeah, I
think there's a little bit of a frozen moment
here. You guys can go ahead and reorganize yourself
anywhere in kind of these nine, twelve squares
kind of up here. You're trying to tell me that
you caught a... Group of level one adventurers
in surprise? Level two. Level one? Level two.
We're level two, nerd. Oh, really? Yeah. I got
to level up. All right. So where are we at? I
mean, I'm told there's a front for sure. Is this
good? I think you'd be further back. I mean,
I would be. I just didn't want to. Yeah, I think...
Okay, cool. Oops, that's wrong. We're going to...
Whoa, whoa, whoa. What's that, dude? Well, I'm
in like half... That's his shaft. Wow. Oh, Jesus.
Sorry. I got to... I got to cut it out. All right.
So the first one in initiative order is going
to be this guy, but he's got the range 5 '10".
15 feet to get up to Taldir. He's going to take
a swing at him with his second action. I thought
that was a natural 20, but it's a natural 10
for a 17 total. Oh, my God. Hits exactly. Hits
exactly. Okay. You're going to take. Do you have
one? I do have a shield, but it does not... You
have to spend an action to raise it to get the
armor bonus from it. Oh. You're going to take
four points of slashing damage and four points
of negative energy damage as this creature's
claw just strikes through you. You can see as
it approaches you that much like the vial you
found inside the Ember headquarters, there's
a faint, like, violet, like, deep... violet glow
that kind of emits from this creature. That is...
It's got one more action, and it's not very smart,
so it's going to take a second attack with the
map. That is not going to hit. Okay. That is
its turn. Up next, I believe, is Taz and Amrus.
Who wants to go first? Uh... Yeah. Yeah, no?
Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm gonna
fucking... So... This... You see this, right?
I can... This... Mm -hmm. This is... Okay. I
just wasn't sure if we were living or existing.
Why? Okay. Um... So this guy right here, I'm
gonna move and get... Move right here. Wait,
that's not... Right there. Then I'm gonna pull
out of my fucking bag a handy -dandy little...
Little thingy that I learned, because... I found
the fucking... The formula for it. So I got a
tangle foot bag, and I'm gonna throw that shit
at him. Okay. Okay, I just gotta hit him. And
if I hit him... His movement is minus 10 feet.
Oof. Is it not, like, a save for, like, completely
stuck? This isn't D &D, Zach. No, he just gets
a penalty to the speed. On a critical hit, the
creature is in contact with the saucers. We get
stuck on a critical hit. Ah, okay. Yeah, that
makes sense. Got my own critical hit. 16. 16
is a hit. I will say, to Zach's point, this might
have been changed in the remaster, so if you've
got it and you're confident, that's cool, but
it does... The Roll20, just quick look up on
it, says it must make a DC 15 reflex save or
be unable. That's first edition. Okay, great.
Yeah, I'm on Demi. Cool. Awesome. So now it takes
a... Minus 10 penalty to its movement. And then
the escape DC is a 17. And then it can completely
escape from it by expending all three actions
to carefully remove the sticky. Minus 10 movement.
And it says these actions don't have to be consecutive.
Okay. So it has to take an action to try to remove
it and make that target DC to be free. Or it
can use all three and be automatically free.
Am I? Yeah. Okay. Cool. You can escape it with
a 17 DC or just expend all your three actions
to remove it. Awesome. Can you mark that one,
Charles? I did. Yeah. Oh, you want to be able
to see it too. That makes sense. Give him a little
snail. And then... So that's one. And then my
second action... I'll just pull my sling out.
And that'll be it. Okay. Damaris, you are up
next. I'm going to mark the front. Attacker with
hunt prey. Okay. And what that's going to do
is... Give me no penalty for my second. This
guy right here? Sir. Okay. I'll give him the
little... What did we decide on? Here, this little...
I don't like the net. Does a nine hit? Does a
nine total? That does not hit. But you still
have one action, I believe. Well, 12 also misses
as these creatures catch you off guard. You're
kind of on your back foot shooting arrows. You
do have a lock on them, but you just can't quite
connect this round. I think that's your turn,
right? Yep. Okay. We will move on to... The creature
you just... Oh, nope. Not the creature you just
targeted. So we're kind of in a north -south
cavern. One of the creatures immediately threw
itself at Taldir. There is still one behind him
to the kind of north of the party. He is affected
by the Tanglefoot Bag that Taz threw moments
ago. You know what? He's going to take an action
to try to beat that DC. What kind of save is
it again? It's an escape. It just, yeah, it says
escape. Which is an action if you... Yeah, he's
not going to get it. DC 17, whatever it is, he's
not going to get there with that roll. So he's
going to take... Oh, actually, he might. It is
a check using your unarmed attack modifier against
the DC of the effect. Okay. So... I assume all
their attacks are unarmed, like you didn't say
they have weapons, so the plus to that might
be big enough. No, but that is good to know,
so... No. No, yeah. Just not good. How far has
he got? Okay, that's perfect. He's gonna come
up, kind of dragging his feet behind him as they're
just kind of like sticky and covered in like
thorns or whatever was in the Tanglefoot bag.
kind of moving delicately, but is able to make
it all the way up to Taldir. He has one action
left, and with that action, he is going to try
to take a bite at you. That is a fuck me golly.
Does a 12 hit? Surprisingly, it doesn't. It does
not. All right, that is the cave creeper bee's
turn, but... His buddy. Boop. Nope. That's the
wrong one. Boop. Right here. Oh. Just to the
west of you, you start to hear the sound of rock
collapsing as another one of these creatures
kind of burst forward, digging from the wall
side. It... Switches back to the token later.
Layer. Goes 5, 10, 15. I really don't want to
attack these stupid dwarves, but he's got no
reason not to, I don't think. All right. He's
going to make that move and attack. That first
one's going to miss. He's going to make a second
attack with the map, trying to bite him this
time. That will just hit because they are agile.
Agile is minus four, correct? Am I remembering
that correctly? Yes. Okay. So he is going to
do seven points of damage to Dorf Darkwell, the
dwarf. whom you followed down into the cavern.
And as he takes a bite out of him, you see the
flesh, like the metal rend under this creature's
mouth, and just a chunk of flesh rip out like
he had bitten into a peach. And he seems invigorated.
That is his turn. We are on to Wesley. Wesley,
what are you going to do? Okay. I would like
to do devise a stratagem. I'm going to choose...
I think this guy right here. All right. And then...
Just to... Because we haven't had a battle in
a minute, so... It's devise a stratagem. I roll...
And then I add Strategic Strike, or I do Devise
a Stratagem, Strategic Strike. If you choose
to make an attack after rolling Devise a Stratagem,
you can use Strategic Strike to get that extra
damage. Yeah. The nice thing about Devise a Stratagem,
we said it a couple times, but it bears repeating,
because when you first look at the Investigator
class, it can seem, I think, a little weak on
first pass, but being able to decide... if you
want to attack or not, I think is a pretty valuable
asset that it gets through Devise a Stratagem.
Also, free knowledge checks with Devise a Stratagem,
I believe. Correct, right, if you're successful.
Is it only on success? I believe so, but if you
want to look that up for us while we figure out
the rest, that'd be super helpful. Alright. 22.
That sounds pretty good. I don't tell you if
it hits or not, but you get to decide at this
point if you're going to attack or do something
else. What can I... Beat that bitch with a bat.
Clobber him. I'm going to clobber him. Alright.
I think that one does say... Yeah, when I'm making
a strike that adds your intelligence... Wait,
no, it doesn't say anything about... Oh, that's
clue in, I think, is what you're talking about,
Zach? Where you get information on them? Okay.
Okay, yeah, I'll do strategic strike with that
guy. All right. Are you making a ranged attack
or are you getting up in his face? And up in
its face. Nice. No, I'm just kidding. No, yeah,
my short sword. Oh, okay. It's a magical short
sword. So it's 1d6 plus 2. And you get to add
1 to that, so that's 23, which does not make
it a crit in this case, but it's certainly a
hit, so roll that damage. Nine. Nine points of
damage. Yeah, as your crossbow bolt like digs
into it and you just hear like, it pulls back
on you. It takes that damage but is still up.
And then, Zach, did you find, do you get the
knowledge check or is that a separate ability?
I know Michelle was looking at something else
as well. Um, clue in is not what I was thinking
of. Um, I'm still looking at it. It might be
a class feat. Oh, devise a strategy. We are not
in a hurry because we can always cut this. Oh
yeah, okay, so it's a class feat. Known weaknesses.
Which you can take at level 1. Whenever you devise
a stratagem, you can also attempt a check to
recall knowledge as part of that action. So essentially,
normally recall knowledge is its own action,
but if you take this feat, you can attempt it
as part of devise a stratagem so you can get
more value out of your action economy. Interesting.
Okay, so that's... Devise a stratagem. You made
an attack. I believe you still have one more
action to go. Yeah, my map just stopped working.
But I'll just back up and... Okay, where are
you trying to back up to? I can't see, but drop
down behind the door. I think that's where...
Because my map is black instead, so it's still
loading right now. Okay, so I'm just going to
move you. When you get it back up, go ahead and
finish moving wherever you want. I just moved
you 10 feet behind the dwarf to the south. Kind
of behind the dwarf to the east of Amaris and
kind of catty -cornered to Taz for the moment.
But if you want to use the rest of your movement,
you are welcome to do that. I want to hide behind
Taz. Okay. I'll pull you over there. How tall
are you? About three feet. Six. I like that Michelle's
only real significant weakness as a role player
is pretending to be tall. She's like, I gotta
hide behind a chair, right? That's like a normal
thing people my size do. You're six foot two.
I can't even reach in the back of the bottom
cabinet, fucking hiding behind a goblin. For
those listening, I'm 6 '2". Yeah, hiding behind
fucking somebody small is not happening. First,
way to brag. Second... Well, then again, she's
got fucking elf vampire knees, not my fucking
39 -year -old knees. She just squats super low.
This is like the high fantasy version of wearing
shin guards. Your lower legs are super well protected.
I like how irrelevant you being 6 '2 actually
is to your inability to get inside the cabinet.
It's just your bad knees. But you still slipped
in. Now you're 6 '2. Michelle's character is
the same height. I'm just saying. Getting into
low areas. Low hanging fruit isn't for everybody.
I'm just saying. Some of us have to reach for
the top. I'm playing like the 5 '3 Michelle.
I forget that there's a whole other foot on me.
We're going to have to do one of those POV camps
where I just walk around for a day and Michelle's
going to be like, God damn, that's what you see?
Is that what the top of the fridge looks like?
Oh, we get it. You're tall. She's short. I have
the height of a weirdly designed homunculus.
Let's move on. Move on to the next creature.
It is... Oh. Once more, you hear the rock kind
of give way. And this, another fourth one of
these creatures bursts. From the wall side, it
moves 10 feet directly in front of Taz. That's
its first action. For its second action, it's
going to take a swing at him. That's a 14 -hit
Taz. No. God damn it. For its second action,
it is also going to try to bite at Taz. Map minus
four plus 21 to hit. Yes, sir. It does five points
of piercing damage. And again, you see it just
like bite through the flesh in your arm, trying
to suck at the blood and bone beneath it. Again,
appearing to be invigorated by what it's able
to take from you. It's turning a lawn. It's monsters.
Oh, God. Don't make it weird, bro. Just kidding.
He can't talk. And it's really into it. Taldir,
your last buddy. What are you going to do? Start
with a question. So we've heard these things
coming, blah, blah, blah, blah. Is it reasonable
that I would have had time to get my shield and
hammer out already, or are you going to make
me eat through my action economy? No, no, no.
We didn't address it, but part of the run -up
of like, you probably would have heard him come
down the hall, but I also didn't want him to
be 100 yards away. So I'm going to say the trade
-off there is that as they approached, you were
able to do that. Okay, cool. So that was the
secret turn, basically. Okay, cool. Gotcha. So
then, in that case... Well, I mean, Teldir was
trying to do some tank and spank here, but he's
substantially more valuable if he's in range
of his allies. So, he's gonna move back towards
Taz and Wesley as his first axial net. And then
he will swing with his hammer. Swing, swing.
Swing from the cherry tree. Come on, please God,
do something useful. 16? Yeah, that hits. Go
ahead. Roll that damage. I just have to roll
an 8 or above. That's a d12. That's the wrong
dice. So that'll be the only time you hit this
combat is what you're trying to tell us. Make
it count. Make it count. And then that is 8 points
of damage. bludgeoning good damage. All my damage
counts as good. Awesome. Yeah, so you bring your
hammer around, slam it into the creature, and
you see little shards of crystalline structures
break from its body, again, glinting this kind
of deep violet as they fall to the floor. Go
ahead and let me know if you've got something
else you'd like to do. Yeah, I am going to raise
my shield. Okay. Raise your shield. And that
means we are back to the top of the order. Round
two. All right. He's going to flank Taldir because
although these creatures are not smart, they
are a little bit wise and a little bit strategic
in their hunting habits. That's going to be a
23 to hit. That will hit. You're going to take
a big four points of stupid damage. It's going
to be piercing if that makes any difference.
It does not. And then it's second and last action.
It will use to also attack. Yeah, it's going
to just try to bite you. So that is, I assume,
not going to hit with the map. That's like an
11. Yeah, nah. Okay, that is his turn. We are
back to Taz, I believe, went first, right? Yeah.
Yeah, but you want to go first, Amaris? Because
I want to figure something out. Yeah, as long
as you don't mind. Charles, are you good with
that? Now, there is... an actual rule for this,
right, Zach? And I get confused between delaying
and holding in Pathfinder all the time. So...
Well, that's because not both of those exist.
Well, that, and I'm curious, because we both
have the same initiative? Yeah, I mean, it doesn't,
like, obviously it doesn't really matter, but
essentially... When you rule the same initiative,
you just decide who goes in what order. But usually
it's pretty static. It's not meant to be every
round you decide who goes in which order. But
as long as Charles doesn't care, it doesn't really
matter. As far as delaying slash holding slash
whatever is concerned, it's two actions to ready
an action in... so you can be like, when this
happens, I'm going to do X and ready your action.
Which is, yeah. And I think also, it's different
also, I would say, from my point of view, is
if he's trying to set something up by letting
me go first, where I think he's just trying to
read through his turn. yeah and so there is also
you can just straight up delay in pathfinder
which is just essentially not taking your turn
at your normal time um and then yeah just like
waiting to take your turn until something else
happens the only thing i can't remember from
delay is does it take an action or not no it
doesn't but like you you also can't if you use
any actions on your turn you cannot delay You
can't be like, I'm going to step away and then
delay for my last two actions and take those
later. Delay is all or nothing. That's kind of
what I thought. I just wanted to make sure. So
functionally, Taz is just delaying until the
end of Amrys' turn. There was enough time. Okay.
I'm really glad we worked through all of that.
Go ahead, Taz. All right. So I'm going to...
Grab from out of my bag a fucking... Where the
fuck is it? Acid. Acid flask. And I'm going to
throw it at this guy's face. Okay. Yeah. Wait
a minute. This one's already... I'm going to
throw it at the one... Taldir's F on our screen.
So the one that has a little heart icon already.
I'm going to throw it at that one. Okay. Just
to the west of Taldir that bears Amaris's was
it hunted prey? Shit. Oof. 25. 25. That's going
to hit. That's going to hit. That's almost a
crit, but not quite. So... It's the pyramids,
ass to ass. Yeah, so... So... Yeah, so five points
of acid damage. Okay. That's a damage, whatever.
And then this one doesn't get splashed. So then
I'm going to then move here on this one. And
then I believe I can... I can swing with my sling
from there, right? I don't have to be... Do I
have to have a little bit of a gap? No, you're
good. I'll tackle my fucking sling. Okay. 17
with the sling. That's gonna... Did you take
the map? Yeah, the penalty? Yeah, the multiple
attack. Okay, cool. Yep, that hits. Roll your
damage. And then the sling is... That's... Two.
Two points of damage. Okay. Big two points of
damage. Yeah, you bring your sling against this
creature, and it kind of, like, bounces off.
It's a little bit like it ran into the corner
of a desk late at night or something, but it
is injured nonetheless. Is that your turn? Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. All right, Amorous,
what you got, man? Alright, I'm going to hold
my position and I'm going to fire on the one
that I already have marked with Hunt Prey. But
I'm going to activate my gravity weapon, which
is a spell. Last a minute. And we'll see if I
hit it. Please God, hit it. Fucking Nat 20. Let's
go! And you get a hero point. And you get a hero
point. 27, that's going to be a crit regardless
because of the Nat 20. Take your hero point.
What? That's with your bow, right, Kenny? Yeah.
Your longbow? Yeah. Which has a critical effect.
Oh, shit. Oh, hell yeah, dude. There we go. And
we all know how that works, but go ahead and
walk us through it, Zach, for the audience. Well,
I believe your longbow actually has two different
things that happen on a critical. One is that
it's deadly, so you are going to roll all your
standard damage dice, double it, then roll an
additional d8 of damage. And then longbows specifically
have a critical effect, which I believe is pinning
the creature that you hit to... Like, you pin
them to the ground and they can't move. Will
you pin it to you? I'm just curious, because
under critical it says piercing, which is 1d8
times 2 plus... Oh, the d10 is that. Oh, it's
deadly d10. That makes sense. Wow. Yeah. But
the deadly dice does not get doubled, which is
Pathfinder, I think, a cool thing that it does.
That is not fair. Let's change that rule right
now. I think it's cool that it does other things
on a crit, but yeah, it does get a little confusing
with what dice get doubled when and how. But
generally, yeah, go ahead. Give me that big old
damage. Oh, I thought you were about to say something.
I thought you were about to say something else.
Give me that big old damage. This is Creeper
D. That's just a lettering system. It is not...
I do not mean to impugn its character. It is
just Creeper numbered letter D, I guess. I do
have gravity. You can't just claim gravity, dude.
Yeah, no, that shit is mine. You build up gravitational
force and funnel it into your blow on the first
strike. Landed. Your first weapon. You gain a
status bonus. The damage equal twice the number
of weapon damage die. Yeah, so since you crit,
you have technically two weapon damage die in
this case. Three, no? Well, deadly doesn't count,
I don't think. Oh, okay. So is that just plus
two then? Yeah. Or is that... So take everything,
double it, and then I guess you would add two
to that as well. Do I double the gravity? I don't
think so. No, I think yeah. All right, so 19
points of damage. 19 points of damage, which
is enough. Your bow. shoots you probably strike
it like through the neck finding a soft spot
between these hard deposits you drive it into
the wall like on the far side here and it is
dead the other one damn it Well, maybe not into
the wall. Taz just sees that one get flinged
to the wall and then replaced. You already said
the wall. Yeah, it's so weird. It flies so far.
It's like 5, 10, 15, 20, 25 feet. That's a strong
-ass fucking longbow. If there were only some
way to capture this, we need an artist in here
now. Artist rendering. What an arrow. What an
arrow. All right. Now, if I shoot the one that's
in between... You shot the creepy D in the shaft.
Took it out. Yeah. If I shoot the one between
Taz and Teldir, is this dwarf in the way? Am
I going to get a penalty for that? You're going
to have to shoot right through him. I think that's
the whole thing. I mean... He's going to have
to clear his body. He's short. All right. But
I'm just saying, is there a penalty? Yeah. I'm
going to give him a plus one to his AC as a partial
cover bonus. What if his aim is a little higher?
Then I get a plus two because he's flat -footed.
Is that right? No. Yes. Actually, he is because
he is flanked. I get a plus one. Taz is learning
the art of combat. Taz to the east. Taldeer to
the west. Stuck in the middle with you. Oh, that
is... Seven to... To hit? Yeah. Oh, thank God.
Yeah, that's a hit. I was like, wait, are we
back to rolling damage again somehow? How did
that? Yeah. All right. All right, and that's
three points of damage. Three points of damage.
That feels very lackluster after the first shot.
Looking at my bow like, why isn't this working?
Yeah, your arrow flies and just strikes it, like,
kind of under the arm, but in, like, a kind of
thick deposit area, and it just kind of looks
like a shame, and it's just like, ugh, the sequel
is never as good as the original. I'm just looking
at my bow, like, man, I'm, like, checking the
string. Did I fucking break the string or something?
Got a little loose. A little. All right. I think
that... Is that your turn, or do you have another
act? That is my turn. Okay. That is all of it.
Thank... God, because, ah, you killed the one
who's next, I think. No, killed Creeper A. So
Slow Creeper B is kind of hobbling. He's 5, 10,
15. That's a move. He's going to make an attack
on Taldir, who is flanked. That's a 22. 22 to
hit? Does 22 hit? Yep. That's going to hit. Two
hits. Oh, and you're going to take 11 points
of slashing damage. Almost max damage. Almost
max damage. Son of a. That's going to leave a
mark. Does Tauger scream? Do you scream? No.
Wait. Give me a second. Die? No. Damn it. She
said 11? Points of damage, yeah. Okay, I just
have to eat it or my shield breaks. Yes. Edith,
he punches you right in the mouth. You don't
have resistance to their negative damage or anything
like that? Because you're good? No, I do not.
I mean, all my damage counts as good. I don't
have resistance. I mean, we're only level 2.
Oh. Yeah. I mean, I'm doing alright. Like, I'll
be fine. Not even God himself could kill me.
As he's bleeding from the ear. Not even God himself
could kill me. I'll be like... down here twice
if you're okay. But, yeah. I'm here. Hey, buddy,
don't count yourself out. Don't be down on yourself.
You're not only level two. You're proudly level
two. Yeah. I don't know if we're proud. I just
feel like we haven't gotten XP for the past six
sessions or something. It's crazy. We've been
doing everything wrong, that's why. It's just
interesting. I don't think I've seen him give
us XP since we started this campaign. It's the
crazy part. I'm tracking it. Don't you get XP
when you kill people? Yeah. Dad, you killed a
lot of people. I'm not giving you XP for all
those dwarves. You should. What about the children?
Any of them wearing hats? Because that's double
points. One of them. Never mind. Oh. Poor Jerry
somewhere. All right. He's going to pop up and
save the day. Yeah, that was its turn. It tried
to remove the Tanglefoot bag remnants, but failed
again. Did not get 17. So it is. Oh, it is. Buddy's
turn over here, climbing from the wall back on
top of this dwarf. I just cannot find a reason
that he would leave him. He's going to make...
He's going to move kind of around him so that
he's kind of between Amrys and the dwarf. He's
going to miss with his first attack. So his idea
is to get himself in... In between the Eiffel
Tower? He's going to be the middle. Going to
be the middle in this s'more you guys are making.
What is that, a truss? I don't know what that
part's called. I don't know that it has an official
name. That's going to be eight points of damage
as this dwarf goes down. Now, just for clarity,
was that... Is that the important one? Yeah.
Was that the one that was talking or is that
the... No. This was... I have their names up,
but they were not handed out in the last episode.
So for the audience, this dwarf who just met
his untimely end is Dorf Darkwell, the cousin
and friend of Hilda Onyxfist's cousin on the
other side of the family, Gorrent Onyxfist. who
is still very much alive, standing in the shadow
of Taldir, very happy to not do anything but
quake a little bit in his dwarven boots. But
it's Wesley's turn. Where the hell is Taz? Right
here. Oh, I can't see him. Oh, yeah, he disappeared
from me, too. Oh, there he is. Did you mean to
go under the creature? I'm not under the creature.
I'm right to the right of him. Okay, cool. Gotcha.
All right. Wesley, it is your turn. Okay, I'm
going to do devise a stratagem. 18? It's going
to hit. I thought you were going to hit me with
a 12 or something. I like that Michelle's poor
roll. She's like, 18? Okay, and then I was going
to use known weakness. Okay. You can also attempt
a check to recall. Do I have to roll again? Yeah.
It's a separate check. But it's part of the same
action. But it's part of the same action. So
it's just good action economy. Yeah. So what
knowledge should she roll? Yeah, I would say...
I know you're supposed to have one or two of
these, but I kind of like to let the players
steer that ship a little bit. I would say that...
Let me just pull this up real quick, make sure
I'm using the right terminology. Got a lot of
game systems going on right now. It's two. You've
got two. You don't know what I do in my free
time. But also, yes, I have two. I would say
probably a nature, maybe an occultism, or even
a society check could give you different pieces
of information about these creatures. Well, we'll
go for society because more, more points. Okay.
17 plus 6. Okay. So, 17 plus 6. 23. 23. I wasn't
going to try. I was way too tired. We all got
there at the same time. Now, knowledge checks
in Pathfinder 2nd Edition, the remaster, have
a base DC of 15. Based on that recall knowledge,
you would know that these creatures have a burrow
speed and that... Although they haven't used
it yet, they do have a ranged attack. And to
kind of fill out the society element, you would
also know that these are cave creepers. You've
never seen one before, but there are a lot of
rumors in Taranatala, where you are from, that
these creatures at one point, centuries ago,
were gnomes who were enslaved by a dwarven clan
and kind of genetically mutated over time and
turned into these kind of monstrous beings. But
they used to be slaves? Centuries ago, they were
gnomes, yeah. Or that's at least the common belief
among the people here. Weaknesses? You know,
on top of that, I will give you that they are
weak to sonic damage. Okay. Oh, so I just need
my sonic boom. I don't know if there's a lot
of sonic damage around here, but... Actually.
That's a pretty juicy knowledge check. She did
roll really high. Don't pat yourself in the back
too fucking hard, Charles. I'm going to use my
crossbow. Okay. After that, I'm going to do a
strategic strike. Awesome. Okay. What was the
roll on the device stratagem? 23? 23. Okay, so
that is a hit, but not quite a crit. Go ahead
and roll your damage, including the strategic
strike. I'm gonna go with it. I don't want to
jinx this, guys, but I feel like we're getting
borderline competent at this game. Well, uh...
Did you melee it? Start sounding that way with
the editing. Did you melee it the first round
of the show? No. No, you used your... My short
sword. You said short sword first, but then you
switched to crossbow, I think. She's using her
crossbow right now, but the first round. So you
would have to use an action on that, but you
have the action economy, so that's fine. Well,
it'd be two actions, right? Why, she just drops
the crossbow and then pulls the short sword.
Yeah, well, I guess it depends on if she wants
to sheath the sword or not. But also, the crossbow
might be one -handed. She might be able to fucking...
Have both. Yeah, she might be able to do... What's
that fucking, like, Corsair -type vibe? You know,
like, uh... What? Sword and pistol. What kind
of crossbow do you have? I think it's a hand
crossbow. This is why people play these games.
For the minutia. For the rules lawyering. For
the petty arguments. It just says bow. Bow. Crossbow
1d8. Okay, no, it is two -handed. Okay, I would
assume that me running and ducking for cover
would... Just while I'm running? Yeah. I would
say you could drop it for free. It doesn't really
make a difference here. You're not fighting intelligent
creatures, so... Fighting dum -dums. Yeah. There
may be a point in future combats where you don't
want to do that because somebody else could pick
it up and use it against you maybe, but I don't
think you have any sense that that's a risk here.
I agree. Yes. You know what? I think Wesley's
really cautious. I'm going to burn the extra
action. I certainly don't have that sense. 16.
16 points of damage? Yeah, because the crossbow
is 8 and then the stratagem is 6. Okay, so...
Or it's a d6. The crossbow is a d8 and then defies
the stratagem is a d6. Okay. And actually on
both of those would be 14. What's the strategy?
8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16. Did you roll
a D10 or something instead of a D8? No. Because
you had D8 and D6. 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14,
15, 16. Okay. What are the two dice? You have
the two dice plus what? The D8, and I rolled
an 8. An 8, okay. And then there's a 6, and I
got a 4. That's 12. Wait, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12. Oh,
I'm sorry. You're right. It is very late for
Michelle where we are. It is past 7 .30. She
has been ready for bed for like an hour. And
we went through all of that for no real purpose
because 12 is exactly what you needed to put
an arrow. I imagine the creature kind of whirls
its head around. looking at you just at the wrong
moment as you release the crossbow bolt. It flies
into its throat and drives it back where it's
not against a wall because that would be incredibly
far here. But it does collapse onto the ground
and is dead. That was a 20 exactly damage total.
Excel, baby! Okay, sorry. We were, uh... Side
track, definitely not trying to let Sammy take
a phone call during our live recording session.
Yeah. But was that Wesley's turn or was there
an action left? I can't remember. Okay. Awesome.
I say awesome because... All right. It was going
to be my monster's turn, but he's dead. Taldir,
you're up. Yuck -a -ducks. Yuck -a -ducks. Artichokes.
First action, gonna do a little lay -on hands
on you, boy. Yourself? Yep. I was gonna say,
I'm fine. No, on the creature right next to me.
So you are... He's looking a little rough. So,
get some health back. Zach touches himself. He
feels better. And then a swang on him with the
old hammer. The hammer of righteousness and good.
And high damage. Fuck! Yeah! And then he misses.
Oh! And then... That's new. Okay, you know what?
Doing a different D20 here. Doing a different
D20. Zach has quit the game. Wait, Zach, put
that rope away. Please. Don't tie it that way.
Okay, he's back at the table. And he missed again.
It's just with a natural one. pretty easy to
be bold about your addition skills when you never
have to do it. Well, to be fair, I do it for
everyone else. Fair enough. We are back to the
top of the order and that means it is... Oh,
sorry, you got one more. No, are we doing Crypt
Thumbonies? Because I did get a natural one.
Oh, are we ready to use the table? Do it. Do
it. Are we ready to use the table? Let's get
our table up. So we have talked about, have not
yet done, but maybe this is a fun place to start.
We're in what may or may not be something of
a dungeon for the first time. That's true. Zach,
why don't you roll a D8? Why do we even do that?
Just assume it's going to be a one. An eight.
A fucking course. You can try. An eight. An eight.
Okay, we're going to go with a... So as you kind
of swing at this creature, you are loaded with
confidence and it just kind of like ducks out
of the way. You hit the ground, and something
about it, like, collapses under the weight of
your hammer. You really smash the shit out of
this thing. But because of that, you lose your
grip, and your weapon has fallen to the floor.
Not the most exciting, but a critical failure.
Nonetheless, you are currently unarmed. Is that
your turn, or do you have another action? No,
I have another... Do I have another action? Wait,
how do I... You missed and missed again, but
I don't remember if you did it again. I laid
on hands. I don't even know why I took the second
attack. That was dumb of me. I don't remember
why I did that. Because that was not my intention.
Yeah, so that would be my turn. Okay, that is
Talder's turn. We are back once more to the top
of the order. Who do you love? Not me! Because
he's dead again. All right. Taz, you are up.
Amaris, you're next. All right. I'm going to
run over here. No. Fuck. Yeah, I'm going to run
over here. That seems like a bad idea. Seems
like a bad idea. Yeah. I'm just going to go right
here. And then I'm going to attack you with my
dagger. Attack it with your dagger. Go ahead
and make that roll. I actually know my sling
because the sling is still in my hand. Slang.
Okay, so move and attack. Two actions. 22. 22's
gonna hit. Roll that damage. Fuck. One. One point
of damage. Big swinger. Yeah, and then I'll...
I'm curious, Charles. I think we've talked about
re -rolling ones as damage in the past. Are we
sticking with that rule? We re -roll ones as
hit points. Not a... Oh. Yeah. And I'll attack
one more time. Okay. When I worked in sales,
they would tell you, you know. It's, uh... They
can't tell you no if you don't ask the question.
So I... 23. That also will hit? Even with, even,
yeah. Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. No,
no, no, no, no. 18. Yep. And then one point again
of damage. One point again as Taz is just chopping
at this creature. You're making your way through
it. I'm just hitting it with the leather part
of the sling. Snacking with it. Yeah, and as
you hit it, it pities you. Alright, that is Taz's
turn. Amaris, you are up. I'm going to hit the
one that's closest to me. No, I should know this,
but is there a penalty for shooting a bow within
five feet? I believe so, yeah. It is actually,
yeah. Let me double check. Oh, yeah, okay. So
the volley trait is the... So it's not like all
ranged weapons, but longbows have a volley trait
of 30 feet. And if it has the volley trait...
The ranged weapon is less effective at close
distances. Your attacks against targets that
are at a distance within the range listed take
a minus 2 penalty. So basically, if you attack
from within 30 feet, you have a minus 2 penalty.
Oh, okay. Eh, fuck it, I'll take it. 15 to hit?
15 total? Yeah. That's a miss. You're going to
have to remember what Zach said, though. He said
I get plus 5. For something. Plus five? For something.
That's a miss unless you really get plus five
for something. Yeah, so it's your... I was just
talking about your map. Yeah, never mind. No,
that's fine. That's only for the... Okay. That
was your first attack though, right? Yeah. Okay.
So you got anything with your other two actions
you want to do? Yeah. I'm going to do it again.
I'm going to do it again. Yeah, because if I
pull my... If you do your what? Kukri. Kukri.
Yeah, that would only be one action, but you
have two left, so... Yeah, you know what? I'll
pull my kukri and try to get him with that. All
right. Drop the longbow, stab with the kukri.
And I whiff. Kukri. Kukri. And you whiff. All
right. That is your turn. I gotta have a turn
at some point. I just... Nah. Yeah, you would
think that. It's been so... I just talk a lot.
I just talk a lot. Just treat the whole game
like it's my turn. And basically it is. When
did that other dwarf die? Sorry, go ahead. No,
no, no, go. When did that dwarf die? That was
like four rounds ago. Last round, I think. But
yeah, a while back. He got in time, which should
have been four rounds ago. He got chopped. Yeah.
Poor... It's fine, because now I only have to
remember one vaguely Celtic accent instead of
trying to balance two. It really works out for
me. Maybe I should kill this other drawer. Fuck,
then I don't have to do anything. You know what?
Nope. He sees an easy meal. He thinks in Taz
he's going to take an attack that I think might
be a crit, actually. 26. I use Bloodlust. That
just kills everything near Taz. I think you're
wrong. But it's a hit, right? Yeah. 19. How do
you have a hiring season? Because you suck, dude.
Yeah, mine is 18. That's why when you were saying
yours is 17, I was pretty surprised. Probably
Dex bonus. Because I don't have that. Because
I took wisdom so that I could heal people. But
I am going to use my reaction. Oh, what's your
reaction do? Helps Taz out. Fuck yeah. Five points
of piercing and one point of negative energy
damage. So what do you do to that? The ally gains
resistance to all damage against the triggering
damage equal to two plus your level. And also
he can take a step as a pre -action if he wants
to. That was pretty dope. I'm going to step over
here. So resistance four. So reduce all the damage
you took by four, and then you can take a five
-foot step in any direction. What was the total?
What was that? Was the math on that? I thought
it was more, but my D6 shows one, so that would
be three piercing and one negative. So that would
be four total. So no damage. So no damage. I
actually heal one. You can only take a five -foot
step, Dennis. Yeah, I was here. I think I went
here. Oh, I thought you were here. I don't know.
I was right here. Yeah, I went again. Okay. All
right. He's going to spin. I'm going to flip
off the thing as I walk away. Step back. Rude.
He's going to take another swing at you. He can't
actually talk, but that's a natural 20. At me?
Oh, this guy's the one that attacked me. Uh -huh.
Oh, then I would have totally known that and
stepped back this way. No, it's okay. I'll take
it. It was my mistake. I'm going to say you got
to take it either way, but I'll let you move
over there, and it'll just use its movement first.
Nah, it's cool. All right. That's going to be...
That's 13 points of piercing damage. And 6 points
of negative damage. It's fine. Critting works
both ways, guys. That's fine. But you didn't
take that first 4 points to damage those, so
you're wrong. Yeah, so... You want to pin my
creature with an arrow to the wall? Yeah. It
was dead already. More of a statement than anything.
Yeah. A statement that I'll never be that good
again. I scream. Michelle says I talk too much
and my turns take too long. I didn't say any
of that. I just said no. It just feels like you're
always talking. It just feels like you always
have a turn. That's true. It's because you play
several different people. I know. That's his
choice, though. He wants to play that many people.
It's not like... There's just so many creatures
and there's nothing I, as the GM who wrote the
adventure, can do about it. I can't even blame
it on the module. Just wait until we get four
more episodes in and it's like these two NPCs
are going to have a real long conversation with
each other. Let me act it out. I'd like tea.
Oh, I feel like water. Anyway. First attack on
Amrys from this last creature is going to be
a big old miss. The second one. Oh, God. Also
a miss. Both of them were sub 10. Actually, what's
your AC? That's an 18. We all have 18 except
Amrys. Yeah, how the fuck do I have the lowest?
Well, I know I have the lowest, but it's bullshit.
Because you're a strong man. Yeah, but doesn't
he have... Yeah, I only get the armor bonus from
the shield if I take an action to raise it. But
also, I just don't have a dex bonus because I
wanted to make sure we had healing. Aw, thanks.
Might shift. All right, his first two actions,
futile. He's taking quite a bit of damage. He
is going to begin to kneel and just, like, scoop
at the ground, and you see him just tearing through
the stone and the earth with surprising speed
and alacrity as he disappears beneath the ground
and moves 5, 10, 15 feet. He is underground.
That is... Their turn. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Taldir,
you're up. Oh, no. Wesley, you are up. Then Taldir.
Hey, advise a stratagem. Come on, big money,
big money. Whoa. Oh, boy, it's a... Against two.
Wait, 12 total? Total. Well, it's a 12 to hit.
Oh, 12 to hit. Okay. So what are you going to
do then? You got a decision to make. A decision...
Oh, um... Because you don't have to attack if
you don't think you'll hit. But if you think
you'll hit, you can attack. It's a real... What?
I guess, yeah, I'll just retreat. Strategic strike.
Okay. That is actually going to be a miss. But
I believe you still have one action left if you'd
like to do something else. It's like the opposite
of a Sophie's Choice, right? Where you want to
kill both babies instead of... Oh, man. Can I
still just shoot my arrow? Yeah, you can just
shoot it. Okay, I'll do that. Alright. 17. No,
18. 18 total with the multiple attack penalty?
Or... I think you take a minus. So whatever you
rolled, add your normal bonus and then subtract
four from it, I believe. It'll show it on the
weapon. It'll be the plus seven. Yeah. Second
attack. Yeah. Oh, I see. But you do, in an effort
to make us look so dumb, still add your bonus
and then subtract them. Like, they could have
just said plus three or whatever to your second
attack, but no, you got to do all that work.
Yeah. Fifteen? Fifteen a hit? Fifteen. Fifteen
is just a miss. Ugh. All right. Curses. Is this
one flat -footed? Is this flanked in it? No,
it's not flanked. Nope, nope. Got to be on either
side. All right, that is Wesley's turn, but Taldir,
you are up. Go ahead. Let me know what you're
going to do. Yeah. So is that where Taz? I liked
none of that. I liked 0 % of whatever just happened.
Is that where you actually are, Taz? Yeah. You're
so inconveniently positioned. It's insane. Taldir's
gonna sit between these two creatures to try
and interpose himself. Okay. Between them and
Taz. Uh. Is he? Actually, what he's going to
do is go there and flank it. Okay. The best defense
is a good offense, as they say. And then he will
swing with his hammer. Natural four. Different
day toy. Different day toy. Oh, actually. That's
a natural 20. All right. Wind it up and roll
that damage, buddy. Do you want me to roll it?
It's going to be dead. It's going to be dead,
but sometimes you like hearing the number. All
right. 24 points of damage. 24 points of damage
as you crush this creature beneath your hammer.
You see, as you smash down into it, catching
it from behind, its stomach spills open and jewels
pour out onto the ground beneath it. Is combat
over? Question mark? We'll find out next time
when we roll bravely on. That is our episode.
Thank you for joining us. Have a good night,
everyone. Good night, everybody. Good morning.
Thanks for watching. Listening. Watching in your
mind's eye. Or whatever.