WEBVTT 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:02.540 Jay, I say this with all the love in the world. 00:00:02.660 --> 00:00:04.919 You know I love you so much. What the fuck's 00:00:04.919 --> 00:00:11.460 wrong with your nose? This weekend, I bumped 00:00:11.460 --> 00:00:18.359 it and cut it. Cut it! and I just keep breaking 00:00:18.359 --> 00:00:22.079 it and then today I broke it again at the gym 00:00:22.079 --> 00:00:24.219 while I was sweating and it just looked like 00:00:24.219 --> 00:00:28.480 I got bludgeoned in the face. I like pulled my 00:00:28.480 --> 00:00:30.640 towel up and it was somewhere during my chest 00:00:30.640 --> 00:00:32.659 press and I pulled my towel up to wipe my face 00:00:32.659 --> 00:00:36.590 and like I looked at the towel I was like And 00:00:36.590 --> 00:00:39.009 then well the chest press is front of a like 00:00:39.009 --> 00:00:41.149 a pillar so I can't really see a mirror So I 00:00:41.149 --> 00:00:43.289 like lean over and it's just like running down 00:00:43.289 --> 00:00:46.109 my sweat I'm so glad the gym was pretty empty 00:00:46.109 --> 00:00:47.369 because it would have people probably would have 00:00:47.369 --> 00:00:49.609 been traumatized Were you like Stewie when he 00:00:49.609 --> 00:00:55.530 has the lipstick and he goes? 100 % me when he 00:00:55.530 --> 00:01:01.270 got on he was tapping his nose And he was doing 00:01:01.270 --> 00:01:03.570 this and I thought he was applying because this 00:01:03.570 --> 00:01:05.409 camera hadn't like focused yet So I thought he 00:01:05.409 --> 00:01:07.510 was applying something to his nose and I was 00:01:07.510 --> 00:01:09.950 like is he trying to be culturally insensitive 00:01:09.950 --> 00:01:14.150 and being wrong at that You're a few inches south 00:01:14.150 --> 00:01:17.409 to be culturally insensitive That's what he said 00:01:17.409 --> 00:01:21.629 as usual But wow, so an injury that happened 00:01:21.629 --> 00:01:24.010 and got worse the gym how fitting for today's 00:01:24.010 --> 00:01:30.109 topics Too busy with fucking turkey and instant 00:01:30.109 --> 00:01:32.709 pots. Okay, I'm pretty sure we have one and I'm 00:01:32.709 --> 00:01:35.150 just gonna miss it this week because I have moved 00:01:35.150 --> 00:01:39.090 my complete office and the Beards and Sentries 00:01:39.090 --> 00:01:42.430 phone is still in the other room and so we'll 00:01:42.430 --> 00:01:47.010 use it next week. Sorry, I'm pretty sure it's 00:01:47.010 --> 00:01:50.269 Shanae, so I'm so sorry, Shanae. You put it here 00:01:50.269 --> 00:01:52.450 first, Beardos. Jay will not go to the other 00:01:52.450 --> 00:01:56.109 room for you. Not right now. First I've heard 00:01:56.109 --> 00:01:58.349 that so many times you guys just go to the other 00:01:58.349 --> 00:01:59.930 room. You won't even let me release naturally 00:01:59.930 --> 00:02:01.870 Yeah, you just take a picture of the other room. 00:02:01.989 --> 00:02:06.129 Yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Well then 00:02:06.129 --> 00:02:28.490 press start. Yeah With a little flair, Anthony! 00:02:31.930 --> 00:02:40.669 You get Season 8 of Beards & Sundries! And welcome 00:02:40.669 --> 00:02:49.050 back! Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii 00:02:50.189 --> 00:02:53.849 Unlucky. Spooky. Spooky. The Baker's Dozen. Well 00:02:53.849 --> 00:02:55.729 that's right guys, it is time for another lunch 00:02:55.729 --> 00:02:58.189 break here at Beards and Sundries, the shop where 00:02:58.189 --> 00:03:00.150 three game men with beards do inventory under 00:03:00.150 --> 00:03:03.129 new sundry in each episode. My name is Jay, and 00:03:03.129 --> 00:03:06.129 no, the spot on my nose is not me accidentally 00:03:06.129 --> 00:03:12.770 or trying to be racist. Or. Or. Or. And or, whatever. 00:03:13.330 --> 00:03:18.800 There we go. important. I'm Anthony, and do you 00:03:18.800 --> 00:03:21.259 think that Straight Men invented the John Reilly 00:03:21.259 --> 00:03:23.379 Christmas album? Well, they've created a hoax 00:03:23.379 --> 00:03:27.780 just like everything else. What album? And I'm 00:03:27.780 --> 00:03:33.139 Joe, and no homo, bro. Ha ha. Unless? And well, 00:03:33.360 --> 00:03:36.180 that means, well, and that means the day's sundry 00:03:36.180 --> 00:03:41.289 item is Straight Men. Beardos, white people are 00:03:41.289 --> 00:03:43.530 stupid, and the straight males tend to be some 00:03:43.530 --> 00:03:45.530 of the stupidest, no matter what color their 00:03:45.530 --> 00:03:48.030 skin is. Today, we're going to chat, joke, and 00:03:48.030 --> 00:03:49.669 laugh about the dumb things that straight men 00:03:49.669 --> 00:03:52.289 do, and why so many of them give off more than 00:03:52.289 --> 00:03:54.270 a little bit of a gay vibe. After the break, 00:03:54.449 --> 00:03:55.949 we're going to think about some of the things 00:03:55.949 --> 00:03:57.870 that the straight men have created that we could 00:03:57.870 --> 00:04:02.240 see ourselves getting into. Later on, we've got 00:04:02.240 --> 00:04:04.020 some Beardo -submitted sundries that do a little 00:04:04.020 --> 00:04:06.819 more than just touch the tips. And then for game 00:04:06.819 --> 00:04:08.759 time, we're going to be making some lists, but 00:04:08.759 --> 00:04:11.099 only check in them once. But before we think 00:04:11.099 --> 00:04:13.639 about just how incredibly gay the world of sport 00:04:13.639 --> 00:04:16.180 is in general, how about this week's lack of 00:04:16.180 --> 00:04:19.139 a voicemail? Jay? All my fault. Teehee. Couldn't 00:04:19.139 --> 00:04:20.939 even go to the other room for the voicemail. 00:04:20.959 --> 00:04:25.279 I'm sorry, listeners. I, um... Sorry, John. I 00:04:25.279 --> 00:04:26.759 did a lot of work. I did a lot of work switching 00:04:26.759 --> 00:04:29.540 this whole apartment around this weekend and... 00:04:29.540 --> 00:04:34.610 Ho. Oh, and I'm still a little tired. And discombobulated. 00:04:35.550 --> 00:04:37.829 Didn't we talk about straight men in general 00:04:37.829 --> 00:04:40.889 on an earlier episode of this season of the podcast? 00:04:40.970 --> 00:04:43.610 Oh, was it this season? Maybe. Because I thought 00:04:43.610 --> 00:04:45.870 the clarification here was that we were talking 00:04:45.870 --> 00:04:48.550 about things that we think straight men invented 00:04:48.550 --> 00:04:50.970 that are actually very gay. Yeah, it was their 00:04:50.970 --> 00:04:54.470 way. It was their way to be gay. Yeah. Well, 00:04:54.509 --> 00:04:59.439 I can talk about whatever we want. Cuz it's our 00:04:59.439 --> 00:05:02.699 podcast not yours. It's our podcast down here. 00:05:05.000 --> 00:05:12.699 It's Do the truffle shuffle well then Joe, do 00:05:12.699 --> 00:05:14.839 you think I can find the wide world of rugby 00:05:14.839 --> 00:05:18.220 and other contact sports in aisle four where 00:05:18.220 --> 00:05:21.040 the other straight things are? If you can find 00:05:21.040 --> 00:05:23.360 rugby in aisle four, you can find Joe in aisle 00:05:23.360 --> 00:05:26.040 four, too. But if you guys are new to the show 00:05:26.040 --> 00:05:27.939 and you're wondering just what the hell a sundry 00:05:27.939 --> 00:05:30.680 is, the term comes from an old English word meaning 00:05:30.680 --> 00:05:33.300 odds and ends. Today, it's used mainly in retail 00:05:33.300 --> 00:05:35.139 as a way to group together items that typically 00:05:35.139 --> 00:05:38.220 don't have a group of their own. So as three 00:05:38.220 --> 00:05:41.240 happily non -straight gay men with beards, we 00:05:41.160 --> 00:05:42.839 are using the term to group together the wide 00:05:42.839 --> 00:05:45.540 range of topics that we cover. Wow, bro. Yeah, 00:05:45.540 --> 00:05:49.300 bro. Oh, doorknob. Wasn't that thing in high 00:05:49.300 --> 00:05:52.980 school where they like, Oh, yeah. Which is gay. 00:05:53.000 --> 00:05:55.540 What was that about? What was that about? It 00:05:55.540 --> 00:05:58.920 was straight men wanting to touch other men's 00:05:58.920 --> 00:06:02.620 junk. It really was. To see if it was big or 00:06:02.620 --> 00:06:05.019 not. To just constantly feel each other's junk. 00:06:05.220 --> 00:06:08.279 I want to specify how I got this topic idea. 00:06:08.540 --> 00:06:12.819 Literally, I think the bowl and I were sitting 00:06:12.819 --> 00:06:16.500 I don't know just at somewhere and on TV it was 00:06:16.500 --> 00:06:19.639 wrestling and it was just constantly playing 00:06:19.639 --> 00:06:22.060 wrestling all day I think I was with him or was 00:06:22.060 --> 00:06:24.199 I with my friend Dustin Jesus fuck I don't remember 00:06:24.199 --> 00:06:27.060 anyways and I'm just like how gay of a sport 00:06:27.060 --> 00:06:30.199 is this oh man Oklahoma State traditional wrestling 00:06:30.199 --> 00:06:33.360 or was it like professional wrestling it was 00:06:33.360 --> 00:06:37.279 massive air quotes traditional thing like where 00:06:37.279 --> 00:06:38.379 they're on the mat and they're throwing each 00:06:38.379 --> 00:06:40.779 other down yeah and stuff I was like, what's, 00:06:40.980 --> 00:06:43.600 oh, you're meaning like WWE and stuff like that. 00:06:43.600 --> 00:06:47.220 Sorry. Okay. Yes. Definitely traditional. Cause 00:06:47.220 --> 00:06:50.199 they were in their little singlets. And I mean, 00:06:50.379 --> 00:06:52.000 you were, you were looking at these cute little 00:06:52.000 --> 00:06:55.500 round butts and you saw the bulges and they're 00:06:55.500 --> 00:06:58.180 pinning each other down. And I'm like, well, 00:06:58.949 --> 00:07:01.829 I do this all the time as a sport. The positions 00:07:01.829 --> 00:07:04.810 they start in. Okay, so Oklahoma State University 00:07:04.810 --> 00:07:07.050 has a really really good wrestling team like 00:07:07.050 --> 00:07:09.189 nationally known and we've gone to a few matches 00:07:09.189 --> 00:07:13.689 there and like it is so gay and people are like 00:07:13.689 --> 00:07:16.750 cheering for it and like losing their minds and 00:07:16.750 --> 00:07:19.819 I'm like I'm We're watching the same thing, right? 00:07:19.920 --> 00:07:21.639 Like you're cheering for this, what's going on 00:07:21.639 --> 00:07:24.019 right now. And these boys are like grabbing each 00:07:24.019 --> 00:07:26.000 other between the legs and like mounting each 00:07:26.000 --> 00:07:27.899 other from behind. And like, let me tell you, 00:07:27.899 --> 00:07:29.779 when the heavyweights come out, it's just like, 00:07:29.819 --> 00:07:32.000 ha ha ha ha. It's like a fucking golden corral 00:07:32.000 --> 00:07:35.000 in there. What you should see the way I slide 00:07:35.000 --> 00:07:39.100 out of my chair and all the way down, all the 00:07:39.100 --> 00:07:41.959 way through all of the seats onto the like floor 00:07:41.959 --> 00:07:44.800 of the arena and into the wrestling mat. The 00:07:44.800 --> 00:07:47.100 last match we went to was like because heavyweights 00:07:47.100 --> 00:07:48.720 are last. to go up through the weight classes 00:07:48.720 --> 00:07:50.680 until heavyweight at the end. And we were like, 00:07:50.800 --> 00:07:54.019 come on, come on, come on, come on. And the heavyweight 00:07:54.019 --> 00:07:57.300 match was like 10 seconds. I was like, God damn 00:07:57.300 --> 00:08:00.600 it. Like all of that for nothing. It's just like 00:08:00.600 --> 00:08:06.639 a straight guy. I think cheering for wrestlers 00:08:06.639 --> 00:08:09.819 to like mount them and pin them down is kind 00:08:09.819 --> 00:08:12.199 of the same idea as when people are like, oh 00:08:12.199 --> 00:08:13.980 yeah, we've been trying to have a baby for a 00:08:13.980 --> 00:08:17.410 long time and everyone's like. You're just like, 00:08:17.850 --> 00:08:19.750 literally cheering about them cream pieing all 00:08:19.750 --> 00:08:23.810 the time. I mean, it's like, yeah. In a way, 00:08:23.949 --> 00:08:27.629 yeah. Except I like wrestling. Well, I like cream 00:08:27.629 --> 00:08:28.949 pieing, too. I'm in there like Chris Jenner with 00:08:28.949 --> 00:08:30.509 the phone with the camera. I'm like Chris Jenner 00:08:30.509 --> 00:08:31.910 with the camera. Like, you're doing amazing, 00:08:32.070 --> 00:08:35.929 sweetie. Because it's gay. It's really like, 00:08:36.070 --> 00:08:38.750 it's fun to watch. And then, like, once you kind 00:08:38.750 --> 00:08:40.889 of figure out what's happening with the scoring, 00:08:41.009 --> 00:08:43.389 I'm like, oh, OK. Like, I get what's going on 00:08:43.389 --> 00:08:46.870 here. It's really quick, but when the heavyweights 00:08:46.870 --> 00:08:51.789 come out it is absolutely brain penis 100 % I 00:08:51.789 --> 00:08:55.009 am here for whatever version of porn this is 00:08:55.009 --> 00:08:58.750 and I cannot fathom that any other person is 00:08:58.750 --> 00:09:01.049 in that building for anything other than watching 00:09:01.049 --> 00:09:06.289 two men just It's everything shy of sex. I mean 00:09:06.289 --> 00:09:08.769 there was that Minnesota wrestler. It was super 00:09:08.769 --> 00:09:10.850 hot I don't know. He was the heavyweight though, 00:09:10.850 --> 00:09:14.210 and he was so fucking fine gable steveson oh 00:09:14.210 --> 00:09:15.590 if we can remember to put a picture of him up 00:09:15.590 --> 00:09:18.210 here in the corner we will because he is delicious 00:09:18.210 --> 00:09:20.789 oh my god he's so fine there was a period of 00:09:20.789 --> 00:09:23.870 time where i'm pretty sure i very it would have 00:09:23.870 --> 00:09:26.769 been like early 20s or late late teens where 00:09:26.769 --> 00:09:29.610 i was enjoying the wrestling porn for sure where 00:09:29.610 --> 00:09:31.769 they'd be like we're gonna wrestle and then all 00:09:31.769 --> 00:09:33.429 of a sudden it would turn it would turn into 00:09:33.429 --> 00:09:37.029 the really quick yeah the singlets would fall 00:09:37.029 --> 00:09:39.129 off and then uh -huh and then all of a sudden 00:09:39.129 --> 00:09:42.039 they would act like Accidentally kiss or something 00:09:42.039 --> 00:09:48.039 and I'd be like, oh, oh, this is The singlets 00:09:48.039 --> 00:09:52.259 are so little so revealing and so tight and then 00:09:52.259 --> 00:09:56.980 you see that penis You see that junk you see 00:09:56.980 --> 00:10:00.179 that junk you see the outline of everything in 00:10:00.179 --> 00:10:04.240 so many sports baseball football Yeah wrestling 00:10:04.240 --> 00:10:06.320 and like those wrestlers are trying to make weight 00:10:06.320 --> 00:10:07.940 to stay in their class so they're not wearing 00:10:07.940 --> 00:10:09.980 anything yeah and it's sports where they're just 00:10:09.980 --> 00:10:13.139 like yo everyone wants to look at everyone's 00:10:13.139 --> 00:10:16.039 junks and how bubbly their butt is i'm not mad 00:10:16.039 --> 00:10:18.620 this is why professional sports is invaded by 00:10:18.620 --> 00:10:21.200 gay people straight men who really were gay at 00:10:21.200 --> 00:10:24.879 like secretly if because if you yeah yeah if 00:10:24.879 --> 00:10:27.250 you like football Go to a football game early, 00:10:27.250 --> 00:10:29.389 not to see the marching band, but to see the 00:10:29.389 --> 00:10:31.409 team warm up and do their stretches on the field, 00:10:31.509 --> 00:10:33.769 because it's like a free show. Especially when 00:10:33.769 --> 00:10:36.409 they're literally helping each other stretch. 00:10:36.409 --> 00:10:39.149 Yeah, they're leaning into each other. And the 00:10:39.149 --> 00:10:41.429 missionary position, you know the one. You know 00:10:41.429 --> 00:10:44.129 the one with the legs all the way up. Let's get 00:10:44.129 --> 00:10:46.429 those ankles behind those ears, buddy. And then 00:10:46.429 --> 00:10:48.250 you see one of them slip in on accident. You're 00:10:48.250 --> 00:10:50.509 like, oh, yeah. Accident. And then I just think 00:10:50.509 --> 00:10:53.149 back to not that long ago, and I'm like, ah, 00:10:53.210 --> 00:10:55.710 yeah. Just a couple of dudes being gay. Just 00:10:55.710 --> 00:10:59.509 a couple of dudes being dudes. A couple of dudes 00:10:59.509 --> 00:11:02.950 being guys. A couple of guys being gay. Show 00:11:02.950 --> 00:11:07.169 me your dick, Steve. Yeah, a lot of sports are 00:11:07.169 --> 00:11:09.629 like that, though. Like, a lot of it's got, you 00:11:09.629 --> 00:11:12.509 know, because they're, like, athletic and, like, 00:11:12.710 --> 00:11:15.250 slipping around and, like, you know, basically 00:11:15.250 --> 00:11:19.789 fucking ball handling. I guess what gets me about 00:11:19.789 --> 00:11:23.559 it is how... into these contact sports straight 00:11:23.559 --> 00:11:26.019 men, whenever we use massive air quotes, are. 00:11:26.340 --> 00:11:29.159 They're so into it. I don't understand how the 00:11:29.159 --> 00:11:31.720 commentators for football can take themselves 00:11:31.720 --> 00:11:33.899 seriously because they say the gayest stuff. 00:11:34.080 --> 00:11:36.120 Oh my god. They're like, oh, he went right up 00:11:36.120 --> 00:11:38.799 the hole. Oh, he's leaving a gap wide open for 00:11:38.799 --> 00:11:40.740 him to get right up in there. You see him coming 00:11:40.740 --> 00:11:43.120 in from behind. And I'm just like, well, yeah. 00:11:43.399 --> 00:11:45.559 When someone gets sacked, I'm just like, that's 00:11:45.559 --> 00:11:50.840 so gay! Come on! I love getting sacked, but it's 00:11:50.840 --> 00:11:55.559 not because I'm a quarterback. God, like it's 00:11:55.559 --> 00:12:00.320 so gay. I'm a fullback. He went into prison as 00:12:00.320 --> 00:12:02.200 a tight end, but he came out a wide receiver. 00:12:06.639 --> 00:12:08.460 And then Anthony talked about it earlier, just 00:12:08.460 --> 00:12:12.220 locker room culture in general. Yeah, the locker 00:12:12.220 --> 00:12:15.580 room is a super gay place. Let's talk about that 00:12:15.580 --> 00:12:18.620 first. I have touched less ass as a homosexual 00:12:18.620 --> 00:12:21.580 than so many straight men spanking each other's 00:12:21.580 --> 00:12:23.740 asses. I was waiting to see how that sentence 00:12:23.740 --> 00:12:25.580 was gonna unfold as you were doing it in real 00:12:25.580 --> 00:12:31.019 time. I've touched so many asses! It's my Christmas 00:12:31.019 --> 00:12:37.419 album! It's so weird to me how often everyone's 00:12:37.419 --> 00:12:39.639 like, wha -pah! And I'm like, what the fuck? 00:12:40.340 --> 00:12:42.639 I'm trying to remember who did it to me in high 00:12:42.639 --> 00:12:44.960 school. I think a teacher did it once. He's like, 00:12:45.179 --> 00:12:46.860 good job. I was like, boop, and I'm like, huh? 00:12:46.960 --> 00:12:50.600 A teacher touched your ass? That should not have 00:12:50.600 --> 00:12:56.159 happened. I'm not going to go into detail on 00:12:56.159 --> 00:13:00.470 this teacher. But because I feel like this you 00:13:00.470 --> 00:13:02.830 should because this feels like a therapy thing 00:13:02.830 --> 00:13:06.909 and no no leave the place No, no, actually it 00:13:06.909 --> 00:13:08.909 goes a completely different way I was one of 00:13:08.909 --> 00:13:11.870 those people that was like hey like the way you 00:13:11.870 --> 00:13:14.269 sometimes handle people I think you're just trying 00:13:14.269 --> 00:13:16.789 to be like nice and all it's very uncomfortable 00:13:16.789 --> 00:13:19.289 for a lot, so Probably shouldn't do that. And 00:13:19.289 --> 00:13:21.269 this guy's like an American beauty type thing. 00:13:21.289 --> 00:13:25.210 Pretty much. This guy's like, yeah, no, you guys 00:13:25.210 --> 00:13:27.129 are being dramatic. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. 00:13:27.529 --> 00:13:31.509 Literally not that long ago got in trouble because 00:13:31.509 --> 00:13:33.509 now we're just not in a society that you can 00:13:33.509 --> 00:13:35.649 be like, don't don't worry about it. Blah, blah, 00:13:35.710 --> 00:13:38.590 blah. Like it finally like just show me your 00:13:38.590 --> 00:13:42.210 penis. It's not a big deal. I look at them all 00:13:42.210 --> 00:13:49.169 the time. I always chalked it up to, and I still 00:13:49.169 --> 00:13:50.690 don't know, it's kind of that situation where 00:13:50.690 --> 00:13:53.090 it's like, I know how many guys definitely coaches 00:13:53.090 --> 00:13:54.789 will just be like, boof, whenever somebody's 00:13:54.789 --> 00:13:57.450 like walking off the quarters or field, anything, 00:13:57.490 --> 00:13:59.590 whatever they're on. And I kind of chalked it 00:13:59.590 --> 00:14:04.289 up to that. But still, I'm just like, why? Why 00:14:04.289 --> 00:14:07.330 do you have to touch my butt? Why? I don't get 00:14:07.330 --> 00:14:10.110 it. Can't you just say good job? Or like, maybe 00:14:10.110 --> 00:14:11.889 the shoulder instead? Tap my shoulder? I don't 00:14:11.889 --> 00:14:14.230 know. What's the butt thing? I don't understand. 00:14:14.309 --> 00:14:17.179 I don't get it. It's gotta be some weird male 00:14:17.179 --> 00:14:20.000 bonding thing that they... Oh, it's male bonding. 00:14:20.240 --> 00:14:24.399 I've seen where the button is male bonding. The 00:14:24.399 --> 00:14:26.580 rituals are intricate, but they don't need to 00:14:26.580 --> 00:14:28.559 happen when I into your but I don't need to happen 00:14:28.559 --> 00:14:31.740 during sports stuff like that's I don't know 00:14:31.740 --> 00:14:34.440 I'm progressive or a snowflake, but I just don't 00:14:34.440 --> 00:14:35.720 think you need to smack someone's ass when they 00:14:35.720 --> 00:14:38.899 do well on the basketball court I mean if I'm 00:14:38.899 --> 00:14:41.779 playing basketball with you now free me yeah 00:14:41.779 --> 00:14:46.620 Like I love male bonding consensually. I mean 00:14:46.620 --> 00:14:49.799 honestly yeah, the whole teacher while you were 00:14:49.799 --> 00:14:52.389 a student in high school thing that yeah that's 00:14:52.389 --> 00:14:55.009 that's a little yeah oh don't worry that's one 00:14:55.009 --> 00:14:57.230 of those things where i was like that seems off 00:14:57.230 --> 00:14:59.570 but you've never done anything too crazy to me 00:14:59.570 --> 00:15:03.210 but that still seems off it feels gross it feels 00:15:03.210 --> 00:15:06.190 very gross the more i more i look back the more 00:15:06.190 --> 00:15:09.269 i'm like you were kind of really weird and yeah 00:15:09.269 --> 00:15:10.830 the way he handled it tells me that you weren't 00:15:10.830 --> 00:15:12.669 the first and you definitely weren't the last 00:15:12.669 --> 00:15:15.110 well yeah there was a group of us that was just 00:15:15.110 --> 00:15:18.029 like you you can't like just touch people on 00:15:18.029 --> 00:15:20.929 the shoulders that you don't know, like, don't 00:15:20.929 --> 00:15:22.830 touch me anyway, Fred Krueger, and they burn 00:15:22.830 --> 00:15:26.649 in the basement of the boiler room. Don't don't 00:15:26.649 --> 00:15:28.610 touch people. I'm like, don't touch people calm 00:15:28.610 --> 00:15:30.929 the fuck down. But I've always been very much 00:15:30.929 --> 00:15:32.960 like don't touch me until I'm comfortable with 00:15:32.960 --> 00:15:36.960 you. And then there's even still like this difference 00:15:36.960 --> 00:15:39.799 between comfortable is just like acquaintances 00:15:39.799 --> 00:15:42.799 and friends versus comfortable as in like physical 00:15:42.799 --> 00:15:44.500 bonding in a way. And that doesn't always mean 00:15:44.500 --> 00:15:46.960 sex. I think there's I've seen it in work work 00:15:46.960 --> 00:15:48.559 settings sometimes where like I've seen like 00:15:48.559 --> 00:15:51.620 an older male like touch a girl's shoulder or 00:15:51.620 --> 00:15:53.139 like touch your arm or something. And I'm like, 00:15:53.320 --> 00:15:55.720 don't touch. You don't have to touch people. 00:15:56.299 --> 00:15:58.860 Why do you think that's okay? And she would come 00:15:58.860 --> 00:16:04.480 up and to and hug me. Yeah, I don't like I dude 00:16:04.480 --> 00:16:07.250 I would not I was not there. I was not there 00:16:07.250 --> 00:16:10.269 for that. I know it was like innocuous, but it 00:16:10.269 --> 00:16:12.789 was just so uncomfortable. When you said that 00:16:12.789 --> 00:16:15.269 I had a flashback to a friend I used to work 00:16:15.269 --> 00:16:18.950 with where her boss used to come in and she would 00:16:18.950 --> 00:16:21.590 lean into her computer and show her how to do 00:16:21.590 --> 00:16:24.789 stuff and she just had such big boobs that they 00:16:24.789 --> 00:16:27.070 would basically rest on my friend's shoulder. 00:16:30.529 --> 00:16:31.809 And I was like, the worst part about it is I 00:16:31.809 --> 00:16:33.730 don't even think she's sexually assaulting you. 00:16:33.850 --> 00:16:36.009 I think she's just taking a break for her back. 00:16:37.250 --> 00:16:43.730 Like you are in the intro? By the end of this 00:16:43.730 --> 00:16:46.929 season, I really hope that your character is 00:16:46.929 --> 00:16:49.990 wearing a back brace and leaning back and holding 00:16:49.990 --> 00:16:52.169 her back. They're just down to your knees. Absolutely 00:16:52.169 --> 00:16:54.529 massive. I kind of want them to keep getting 00:16:54.529 --> 00:16:58.070 bigger. Like the hat in Scary Movie 3? Yeah, 00:16:58.149 --> 00:17:01.370 a little bit like that. Everything's been getting 00:17:01.370 --> 00:17:02.850 incrementally bigger this whole time, kind of 00:17:02.850 --> 00:17:05.109 like a Lil' Kim situation. I was like, this last 00:17:05.109 --> 00:17:08.789 episode, they were pretty voluptuous in the cover, 00:17:09.470 --> 00:17:14.210 next to Joe's crooked ass face. You know, I haven't 00:17:14.210 --> 00:17:16.190 even listened to that episode yet, still. I have 00:17:16.190 --> 00:17:19.289 heard from two or three different people about 00:17:19.289 --> 00:17:21.430 it, and I'm like, I still haven't listened to 00:17:21.430 --> 00:17:24.670 it yet. Are we hearing good, bad? No, it was 00:17:24.670 --> 00:17:26.470 good, it was good. Okay, I was like, that was 00:17:26.470 --> 00:17:28.640 a fun episode. We heard a compliment about the 00:17:28.640 --> 00:17:30.259 comedy or algae commercial, which I still haven't 00:17:30.259 --> 00:17:35.700 even listened to yet. So I did like that commercial. 00:17:35.799 --> 00:17:38.480 That was that was pretty fun. I love I didn't 00:17:38.480 --> 00:17:40.519 know what to do. And I love that it came to came 00:17:40.519 --> 00:17:43.900 to me right. Right when I started going at it. 00:17:44.000 --> 00:17:47.940 Well, now, speaking of being in high school and 00:17:47.940 --> 00:17:50.799 gay shit. that straight people do. I feel like 00:17:50.799 --> 00:17:54.339 some of the gayest stuff like my doorway to being 00:17:54.339 --> 00:17:57.619 gay was doing gay things with my straight friends 00:17:57.619 --> 00:18:02.880 in high school. Elaborate. I said elaborate. 00:18:04.500 --> 00:18:08.759 You know, you wanted to like Did you not like 00:18:08.759 --> 00:18:11.660 jack off together with your friends like doing 00:18:11.660 --> 00:18:14.779 some things like that? I did not granted there 00:18:14.779 --> 00:18:16.859 was more sexual things But you know we were we 00:18:16.859 --> 00:18:18.759 were consenting kids who were about the same 00:18:18.759 --> 00:18:22.480 age So don't but it was still like a weird like 00:18:22.480 --> 00:18:24.779 I look back. I'm just like man a lot of straight 00:18:24.779 --> 00:18:28.859 people showing like Just example of a moment. 00:18:28.900 --> 00:18:33.079 We were in the ag like break room This was not 00:18:33.079 --> 00:18:35.740 a complete sex thing, but one of the guys that 00:18:35.740 --> 00:18:38.640 I was in High school with in my class was like 00:18:38.640 --> 00:18:40.980 hey Anthony and I just turned over to like look 00:18:40.980 --> 00:18:45.200 and Completely out of his shorts just balls and 00:18:45.200 --> 00:18:50.000 just balls like just balls, but they were They 00:18:50.000 --> 00:18:53.119 were like truck nuts they're they're they're 00:18:53.119 --> 00:18:55.980 big balls. I've seen some big balls big balls 00:18:55.980 --> 00:18:59.400 Have you got those checked out? Maybe it's like 00:18:59.400 --> 00:19:05.650 a fond memory thing where I'm like But I don't 00:19:05.650 --> 00:19:07.849 know I feel like I and then you hear about those 00:19:07.849 --> 00:19:11.309 like games that people play like like Limp Bizkit. 00:19:11.690 --> 00:19:13.849 Do you like Limp Bizkit not the band but Limp 00:19:13.849 --> 00:19:15.990 Bizkit the game that the band is supposedly named 00:19:15.990 --> 00:19:19.230 after? Please elaborate. I must have grown up 00:19:19.230 --> 00:19:23.670 extra gay. Because that game is supposed to be 00:19:23.670 --> 00:19:26.490 based off like a group of guys jack off onto 00:19:26.490 --> 00:19:28.730 a cookie and the last person to come has to eat 00:19:28.730 --> 00:19:31.609 it. I've seen, well, I haven't enjoyed them. 00:19:31.750 --> 00:19:34.309 I've seen videos, but I didn't know that's what 00:19:34.309 --> 00:19:36.349 that was called. Yeah, that wasn't the title 00:19:36.349 --> 00:19:40.369 of the video I watched. It's not for me. I get 00:19:40.369 --> 00:19:42.369 that there's a kink about it somewhere in a community 00:19:42.369 --> 00:19:44.430 somewhere, but it's not for me. I could almost 00:19:44.430 --> 00:19:47.730 say yes until I actually come in the next video. 00:19:47.769 --> 00:19:51.029 I get the salty and sweet, but I'm just like, 00:19:51.170 --> 00:19:54.509 can I just put some Himalayan pink salt on it? 00:19:54.910 --> 00:19:57.289 That's a that's a crumble corner that I'm not 00:19:57.289 --> 00:20:05.930 venturing to that what if we It's it's it's cumble 00:20:05.930 --> 00:20:13.730 corner Episode title the Dubai jizz brownie The 00:20:13.730 --> 00:20:19.910 Dubai cookie from Cumble. Presented by Limp Bizkit. 00:20:20.329 --> 00:20:22.230 And then one of the reviews says, oh my god, 00:20:22.430 --> 00:20:28.250 it's so good. I love the frosting. Sometimes 00:20:28.250 --> 00:20:32.549 I wear women's panties and walk around Fifth 00:20:32.549 --> 00:20:34.509 Street and I'm like, what? What, Janet? What 00:20:34.509 --> 00:20:36.930 did you put in there? That Himalayan sea salt 00:20:36.930 --> 00:20:38.890 is presented by the Rock. I don't know. That 00:20:38.890 --> 00:20:41.569 was that was almost a joke. Yeah. Yeah, something. 00:20:41.750 --> 00:20:43.990 It felt like it just up short of a word or two. 00:20:49.159 --> 00:20:55.480 Also oh go ahead no good hazing yeah to the point 00:20:55.480 --> 00:21:00.279 that there's gay porn about it hazing is Literally 00:21:00.279 --> 00:21:03.559 them being like we're going to take the weakest 00:21:03.559 --> 00:21:07.420 guy in our group and basically assault him sexually 00:21:07.420 --> 00:21:11.119 sexually Yeah, I mean, yeah, and think of how 00:21:11.119 --> 00:21:13.200 many men have like died or gone to the hospital 00:21:13.200 --> 00:21:16.000 from like, hazings that went too far. And I'm 00:21:16.000 --> 00:21:19.240 just like, you were just being aggressively gay. 00:21:19.359 --> 00:21:21.380 They're also weirdly like secretive about it, 00:21:21.380 --> 00:21:23.059 too. Like they're like, don't say anything or 00:21:23.059 --> 00:21:26.180 drish. The traditions are like really like, don't 00:21:26.180 --> 00:21:28.140 say that we passionately made out and had sex 00:21:28.140 --> 00:21:31.299 all of us together. And don't don't forget about 00:21:31.299 --> 00:21:34.059 my wedding 10 years from now. I just can't imagine 00:21:34.059 --> 00:21:38.240 don't record it people to join a frat. had gay 00:21:38.240 --> 00:21:41.160 sex for the first time and just got fucked without 00:21:41.160 --> 00:21:43.240 themselves being ready. Like, I think of things 00:21:43.240 --> 00:21:46.619 like that where I'm like, yeah, that's sexual 00:21:46.619 --> 00:21:49.480 assault. Like, what the fuck? Yeah. Yeah. We 00:21:49.480 --> 00:21:52.339 it's it's alarming how our society is kind of 00:21:52.339 --> 00:21:55.319 just really littered with it more than, you know, 00:21:55.319 --> 00:21:59.220 even though, like, you know it, but you I just 00:21:59.220 --> 00:22:02.180 don't think we realize how bad it is because 00:22:02.180 --> 00:22:06.259 we're not the sheep. Everything else. Everything 00:22:06.259 --> 00:22:08.140 else all the time. Yeah, it's a very prevalent, 00:22:08.299 --> 00:22:11.720 like, rape culture is a real thing. Yeah. I'm 00:22:11.720 --> 00:22:14.740 really hoping that our genera - mmm, younger 00:22:14.740 --> 00:22:16.319 generations, because we're already - I was just 00:22:16.319 --> 00:22:18.519 gonna say, maybe, maybe we go down one or two. 00:22:18.519 --> 00:22:21.279 I'm really hoping that younger generations are 00:22:21.279 --> 00:22:24.319 really getting into that, like, consent is sexy 00:22:24.319 --> 00:22:26.039 shit like that, being - and just being like, 00:22:26.059 --> 00:22:28.680 no, I'm not gonna do this so I can get into a 00:22:28.680 --> 00:22:30.579 frat. I also think frats are being frowned upon 00:22:30.579 --> 00:22:32.720 now because of so much scandal. Yep. I think 00:22:32.720 --> 00:22:35.059 so too. I did read that, uh, Gen Alpha is bas 00:22:35.059 --> 00:22:36.799 - basically abandoning Facebook, which I think 00:22:36.799 --> 00:22:40.500 is very hopeful. Yay! I mean, I did too, bitch. 00:22:40.700 --> 00:22:43.259 I'm currently deactivated, and it's really nice 00:22:43.259 --> 00:22:46.200 not just scrolling all the time, through ads 00:22:46.200 --> 00:22:49.200 that I don't care about. I also got rid of all 00:22:49.200 --> 00:22:52.799 of the games that were on my phone, and my screen 00:22:52.799 --> 00:22:55.740 time, week over week, went down by an hour and 00:22:55.740 --> 00:22:58.759 40 minutes. Per day. Yeah, so I don't really 00:22:58.759 --> 00:23:02.089 have any... Games on I guess I have a couple 00:23:02.089 --> 00:23:06.569 two hours and ten minutes. Oh four hours, okay? 00:23:08.029 --> 00:23:14.609 James like I'm at 24 hours an hour I Want to 00:23:14.609 --> 00:23:17.369 be at that number how's that sound I when I realize 00:23:17.369 --> 00:23:19.480 you want to Because, you know, you look at the 00:23:19.480 --> 00:23:22.140 weekly average in like 3 hours and 45 minutes 00:23:22.140 --> 00:23:23.980 or 4 hours and it's like, okay, that's not too 00:23:23.980 --> 00:23:26.279 bad. But then I put that into days and I was 00:23:26.279 --> 00:23:29.420 like, wait a fucking second. I'm wasting an entire 00:23:29.420 --> 00:23:33.279 day of my week on this fucking thing? Yeah. On 00:23:33.279 --> 00:23:35.519 things I don't care about. on things I don't 00:23:35.519 --> 00:23:37.500 care about. That's what I realized. I'm gonna 00:23:37.500 --> 00:23:39.299 put this phone away because I'm just tired of 00:23:39.299 --> 00:23:41.819 seeing shit pop up on it. I'm tired of looking 00:23:41.819 --> 00:23:44.279 at it all the time. That was actually the one 00:23:44.279 --> 00:23:47.039 thing about the trip to Colorado that I was like, 00:23:47.059 --> 00:23:52.880 this was nice. Nice was for like 12 hours, just 00:23:52.880 --> 00:23:56.380 not or actually more, just not having any phone 00:23:56.380 --> 00:23:58.960 whatsoever that the first cruise we went on. 00:23:59.539 --> 00:24:03.900 Because it was 2015. I didn't get any service 00:24:03.900 --> 00:24:07.599 while we were on the boat And so I just left 00:24:07.599 --> 00:24:10.700 my phone in the room and I never used it in the 00:24:10.700 --> 00:24:12.599 first day It was super uncomfortable. But the 00:24:12.599 --> 00:24:15.099 second day. Oh my god. It was like somebody had 00:24:15.099 --> 00:24:20.349 like I Don't know. It was like I had been carrying 00:24:20.349 --> 00:24:22.769 around an extra 200 pounds and I just dropped 00:24:22.769 --> 00:24:25.890 it off immediately. Yeah, you get to like look 00:24:25.890 --> 00:24:29.230 around and actually see things. See things. And 00:24:29.230 --> 00:24:31.650 enjoy them instead of just like seeing something 00:24:31.650 --> 00:24:33.089 real quick and then looking back at your phone. 00:24:33.470 --> 00:24:37.190 I have been noticing how nice the brakes are 00:24:37.190 --> 00:24:39.910 and how my brain goes ah whenever I don't have 00:24:39.910 --> 00:24:44.849 it around and I'm trying to find more times that 00:24:44.849 --> 00:24:47.750 I don't that I can just escape from it more. 00:24:47.920 --> 00:24:49.839 Because I still have to utilize it a lot for 00:24:49.839 --> 00:24:52.660 random shit, but I really want to find more ways 00:24:52.660 --> 00:24:55.700 to not do it. Like I have like a few people that 00:24:55.700 --> 00:24:58.480 I want to make sure I maintain contact with fairly 00:24:58.480 --> 00:25:01.200 consistently, but I want to find ways to do that. 00:25:01.200 --> 00:25:04.000 It don't require me to maintain contact with 00:25:04.000 --> 00:25:07.700 everybody. I was doing audiobooks for a little 00:25:07.700 --> 00:25:10.119 while for a couple weeks and it's nice. It's 00:25:10.119 --> 00:25:11.380 nice to listen to the story that I'm currently 00:25:11.380 --> 00:25:13.880 listening to and then like I just found myself 00:25:13.880 --> 00:25:16.130 like. Wanting something even though I was physically 00:25:16.130 --> 00:25:18.210 like eating but I just needed like something 00:25:18.210 --> 00:25:20.509 with my hand like, you know You need that something 00:25:20.509 --> 00:25:22.309 it's cuz we're all related to these fucking little 00:25:22.309 --> 00:25:24.569 rectangles But so I'm gonna start bringing my 00:25:24.569 --> 00:25:27.329 actual book that I'm working on to work so I 00:25:27.329 --> 00:25:29.589 can read a book During my lunch break and just 00:25:29.589 --> 00:25:31.250 do that instead of looking at a phone screen 00:25:31.250 --> 00:25:34.089 That's what I did today and I used the Libby 00:25:34.089 --> 00:25:38.029 app to basically like get a book that I saw I 00:25:38.029 --> 00:25:41.210 read The book that I'm reading at night, I have 00:25:41.210 --> 00:25:45.210 the library copy of it in my Kindle. So I just 00:25:45.210 --> 00:25:47.369 pulled up the Kindle like web interface and I 00:25:47.369 --> 00:25:49.069 just picked up where I left off and I just read 00:25:49.069 --> 00:25:52.650 while I ate. Yeah, I need to do I need to physically 00:25:52.650 --> 00:25:54.509 hold something I think and I think the book will 00:25:54.509 --> 00:25:57.750 help me with that. Yeah, I was holding food with 00:25:57.750 --> 00:26:00.150 one hand and I was clicking the next page with 00:26:00.150 --> 00:26:05.890 the other so I think my other thing is is I want 00:26:05.890 --> 00:26:10.130 to get away from screens in general. I'm always 00:26:10.130 --> 00:26:12.690 on my phone, always on a computer, always with 00:26:12.690 --> 00:26:16.049 the TV on, but I'm so bad at focusing on a book 00:26:16.049 --> 00:26:18.890 I feel like I want to just bring back an old 00:26:18.890 --> 00:26:22.750 hobby of like model cars or something like that 00:26:22.750 --> 00:26:27.359 just to get out of technology. Do your screen 00:26:27.359 --> 00:26:29.940 printing or all your sign making? I was just 00:26:29.940 --> 00:26:32.579 gonna say I'm finding myself with reading like 00:26:32.579 --> 00:26:37.279 having to re teach myself to stop and Focus on 00:26:37.279 --> 00:26:41.200 it. And so I it for me I'm just it is one of 00:26:41.200 --> 00:26:43.960 those things where I also have gotten the bug 00:26:43.960 --> 00:26:46.180 about more writing now that I've been reading 00:26:46.180 --> 00:26:49.799 more and So I've been like writing a little bit 00:26:49.799 --> 00:26:54.089 every day And so like that's starting to happen 00:26:54.089 --> 00:26:58.089 and I'm realizing that to better write, I need 00:26:58.089 --> 00:27:00.730 to read and not just listen to books, but I need 00:27:00.730 --> 00:27:03.430 to physically read books. And so it's sort of 00:27:03.430 --> 00:27:05.890 like a, I'm, I'm using this as an opportunity 00:27:05.890 --> 00:27:08.349 to both entertain myself, but also to learn. 00:27:09.109 --> 00:27:11.390 You know, maybe it wouldn't hurt if I started 00:27:11.390 --> 00:27:16.190 myself to read books again, because if I'm constantly 00:27:16.190 --> 00:27:19.670 straying away from my phone, I'm not so focused 00:27:19.670 --> 00:27:23.099 on the quick dopamine rush of scrolling and seeing 00:27:23.099 --> 00:27:25.960 short content, and I'm wondering if switching 00:27:25.960 --> 00:27:29.799 to a book would help my long -term focus. So 00:27:29.799 --> 00:27:31.559 that way I can stop interrupting you and telling 00:27:31.559 --> 00:27:34.910 you to take a picture. I mean, that would be 00:27:34.910 --> 00:27:36.789 great, actually. You know what? I don't want 00:27:36.789 --> 00:27:42.170 to change that. What a fucking asshole. I think 00:27:42.170 --> 00:27:44.710 the way I'm living is perfect. Can't even be 00:27:44.710 --> 00:27:46.630 bothered to break away from a screen long enough 00:27:46.630 --> 00:27:48.450 to go to the other room to get the phone to upload 00:27:48.450 --> 00:27:51.950 the fucking voicemail. I have definitely caught 00:27:51.950 --> 00:27:53.869 myself as I'm aging just being like, I can't 00:27:53.869 --> 00:27:56.329 fucking focus. Like, this is a long story or 00:27:56.329 --> 00:27:58.549 this is this is whatever you're doing is just 00:27:58.549 --> 00:28:02.039 no. I mean, I notice it too, and I've gotten 00:28:02.039 --> 00:28:06.740 to where I am actively trying now to keep my 00:28:06.740 --> 00:28:09.880 focus on things. And reading is one of those 00:28:09.880 --> 00:28:13.420 things that I think is very helpful in that capacity. 00:28:14.679 --> 00:28:16.839 Well, I did say that I was going to do a lot 00:28:16.839 --> 00:28:18.900 more for like my physical and mental health this 00:28:18.900 --> 00:28:21.599 year again, but not so focused on therapy. So 00:28:21.599 --> 00:28:23.779 like right now I'm doing all these really healthy 00:28:23.779 --> 00:28:25.680 dinners and bullshit like that during the weekdays, 00:28:25.700 --> 00:28:27.819 and then I fuck it up on the weekends and drink 00:28:27.819 --> 00:28:32.960 too much also. But on top of that, maybe that 00:28:32.960 --> 00:28:35.200 would be my mental health focus this year. Well, 00:28:35.400 --> 00:28:38.029 I got back in. I got back into reading riding 00:28:38.029 --> 00:28:40.789 my bike more and I've been going to like trails 00:28:40.789 --> 00:28:43.029 by the river that we have here in Tulsa or like 00:28:43.029 --> 00:28:44.829 just riding on a square mile pattern that we 00:28:44.829 --> 00:28:46.670 have right here at the house and it's been nice 00:28:46.670 --> 00:28:48.930 to get out and I put on an audiobook so I have 00:28:48.930 --> 00:28:50.710 something to listen to but I'm staying aware 00:28:50.710 --> 00:28:52.750 of course and wearing my helmet but it's nice 00:28:52.750 --> 00:28:55.410 to get some cardio in but also like get outside 00:28:55.410 --> 00:28:57.690 and experience some weather and see the sky while 00:28:57.690 --> 00:29:00.670 it's nice and blue before it gets fucking hot 00:29:00.670 --> 00:29:03.369 here in Oklahoma next week probably but it's 00:29:03.369 --> 00:29:05.690 been nice to kind of like get out there and like 00:29:05.710 --> 00:29:07.930 I don't know, knock out 15, 20 miles in about 00:29:07.930 --> 00:29:09.890 an hour and a half and just, you know, enjoy 00:29:09.890 --> 00:29:14.170 the scenery and not have to sit in a chair or 00:29:14.170 --> 00:29:16.269 on the couch and scroll through my phone through 00:29:16.269 --> 00:29:18.349 news stories that I don't care about. It's a 00:29:18.349 --> 00:29:19.890 better way to spend my time and I'm also burning 00:29:19.890 --> 00:29:21.950 calories. That's the other thing, straying away 00:29:21.950 --> 00:29:25.339 from the... the phone, just in general, just 00:29:25.339 --> 00:29:28.559 with the news and all that stuff, because it's 00:29:28.559 --> 00:29:30.660 so easy to get caught up in that. And I stray, 00:29:30.740 --> 00:29:33.700 I strive to like, steer my algorithm away from 00:29:33.700 --> 00:29:35.400 showing me that constantly. But then it just 00:29:35.400 --> 00:29:38.200 goes right back. It's, you can't avoid it. I 00:29:38.200 --> 00:29:41.099 think it's on purpose at this point. 100%. I 00:29:41.099 --> 00:29:43.880 think getting rid of TikTok helped me a ton. 00:29:45.240 --> 00:29:47.279 Deactivating, deactivating Facebook has been 00:29:47.279 --> 00:29:50.019 just another really great step. And a few people 00:29:50.019 --> 00:29:51.680 reached out to me like a week after and they're 00:29:51.680 --> 00:29:53.819 like, are you? not on Facebook because I think 00:29:53.819 --> 00:29:55.380 they tried to like tag me in something or tried 00:29:55.380 --> 00:29:56.740 to like mention me in a comment and I'm like 00:29:56.740 --> 00:29:59.019 no I'm just I'm deactivated right now I'm taking 00:29:59.019 --> 00:30:01.240 a break from it I still have my profile I'm just 00:30:01.240 --> 00:30:03.059 only on messenger if you want to hit me up but 00:30:03.059 --> 00:30:06.420 like honestly I have not missed it I don't care 00:30:06.420 --> 00:30:08.460 about the ads that fly over it all the time because 00:30:08.460 --> 00:30:10.980 that's all it is anymore is fucking useless ads 00:30:10.980 --> 00:30:13.759 or someone I haven't talked to in 10 years I 00:30:13.759 --> 00:30:15.339 think I talked about this before but basically 00:30:15.339 --> 00:30:17.420 I was whittling down my friend list slowly by 00:30:17.420 --> 00:30:19.460 going through birthdays every day and being like 00:30:19.460 --> 00:30:21.240 oh here's someone I haven't talked to in 15 years 00:30:21.240 --> 00:30:23.109 and don't care about unfriend and that's how 00:30:23.109 --> 00:30:25.210 I was like slowly cleaning my friends list up 00:30:25.210 --> 00:30:27.009 but honestly it's just been nice not to have 00:30:27.009 --> 00:30:29.930 it on there because it's nice to lay in bed at 00:30:29.930 --> 00:30:32.569 night to go to sleep and open up a book and fall 00:30:32.569 --> 00:30:34.529 asleep within 10 minutes instead of looking at 00:30:34.529 --> 00:30:37.029 a blue light screen hurting my eyeballs and not 00:30:37.029 --> 00:30:40.170 falling asleep quickly And that's pretty straight. 00:30:40.250 --> 00:30:42.829 I think who cares at this point. I think this 00:30:42.829 --> 00:30:45.710 is fun, too Yes, yeah, I think my next dance 00:30:45.710 --> 00:30:48.869 you get rid of I don't want to do this, but I 00:30:48.869 --> 00:30:51.150 find myself scrolling on it now that I don't 00:30:51.150 --> 00:30:53.950 have anything else on my phone It's tumblr and 00:30:53.950 --> 00:30:58.859 you back on tumblr so My there's so much funny 00:30:58.859 --> 00:31:00.940 stuff on there, but I'm like this is the same 00:31:00.940 --> 00:31:03.000 thing you're getting little things and you're 00:31:03.000 --> 00:31:06.140 not you're you're you're breaking your Yeah, 00:31:06.160 --> 00:31:07.720 you can't do it. You can't do it. You got to 00:31:07.720 --> 00:31:10.240 get away from it I opened it two days ago, and 00:31:10.240 --> 00:31:13.990 I'm logged out and I don't know my password and 00:31:13.990 --> 00:31:15.809 instead of like going through the whole thing 00:31:15.809 --> 00:31:17.349 and resetting the password and have to remember 00:31:17.349 --> 00:31:18.869 something something something something I'm just 00:31:18.869 --> 00:31:21.210 like letting myself be logged out for a while 00:31:21.210 --> 00:31:24.609 and that's also been something crazy. Yeah I'm 00:31:24.609 --> 00:31:26.609 gonna have to delete the app so that I don't 00:31:26.609 --> 00:31:29.329 find myself scrolling through it because it's 00:31:29.329 --> 00:31:32.789 not bad but it still is like the little tiny 00:31:32.789 --> 00:31:36.450 dopamine hits. We're just constantly chasing 00:31:36.450 --> 00:31:39.410 those and I'm like ugh. Yeah I already have enough 00:31:39.410 --> 00:31:41.750 chemical imbalances in my brain. I think one 00:31:41.750 --> 00:31:44.410 of the pressures I have is like on Instagram. 00:31:44.609 --> 00:31:46.910 Instagram is the one that I scroll most. Facebook 00:31:46.910 --> 00:31:49.390 I don't really care about. I'm barely on there. 00:31:50.430 --> 00:31:55.309 Insta is the one that I scroll most and I have 00:31:55.309 --> 00:31:58.779 a lot of people that Send me like funny stuff 00:31:58.779 --> 00:32:01.220 funny videos funny memes all that stuff and I 00:32:01.220 --> 00:32:03.099 love it I love that they think of me and I love 00:32:03.099 --> 00:32:04.740 that they share this stuff because most of it's 00:32:04.740 --> 00:32:06.900 pretty funny I almost feel like there's a pressure 00:32:06.900 --> 00:32:13.160 that I have to react react and that I have to 00:32:13.160 --> 00:32:17.220 Reciprocate mm -hmm because if I don't then it 00:32:17.220 --> 00:32:19.420 just looks like I'm they're just bombarding me 00:32:19.420 --> 00:32:21.339 with stuff and I'm like, ha ha ha, and then just 00:32:21.339 --> 00:32:22.980 ignoring it. And I don't want them to think that 00:32:22.980 --> 00:32:25.539 that's how I feel. But I'm also like, I want 00:32:25.539 --> 00:32:28.319 to see this shit. I just don't want to scroll 00:32:28.319 --> 00:32:30.619 and send stuff back anymore. Let me tell you 00:32:30.619 --> 00:32:34.079 how people that like I will legitimately there 00:32:34.079 --> 00:32:37.059 are days that there was a Sunday recently where 00:32:37.059 --> 00:32:39.220 I just did not I put my phone somewhere in the 00:32:39.220 --> 00:32:40.980 house and I didn't even look at it. And like 00:32:40.980 --> 00:32:42.819 the next day I had messages and stuff and I was 00:32:42.819 --> 00:32:44.220 like, hey, you know, I just took the day off 00:32:44.220 --> 00:32:47.660 my phone. Mm -hmm people get it people understand 00:32:47.660 --> 00:32:50.420 at least that's nice is that the stigma is not 00:32:50.420 --> 00:32:52.799 It's no longer steered toward a why weren't you 00:32:52.799 --> 00:32:55.000 on your phone? Are you mad at me like now? It's 00:32:55.000 --> 00:32:56.680 people are understanding that everyone needs 00:32:56.680 --> 00:32:59.640 to have more mental health balance, and I think 00:32:59.640 --> 00:33:02.650 we're all Starting to see and agree that it's 00:33:02.650 --> 00:33:05.009 harder than it sounds. So at least we know the 00:33:05.009 --> 00:33:07.450 problems there It's just now that there's more 00:33:07.450 --> 00:33:09.470 of a focal lens to fix it and Jay real quick 00:33:09.470 --> 00:33:11.349 I want to talk about the insta thing. There's 00:33:11.349 --> 00:33:13.009 a guy he doesn't listen to this I can guarantee 00:33:13.009 --> 00:33:15.809 it, but there's this guy in choir who was like 00:33:15.809 --> 00:33:18.470 Sort of friends with me. He will send me a reel. 00:33:18.529 --> 00:33:22.269 I'd say maybe every other day I never ever ever 00:33:22.269 --> 00:33:25.380 send anything back will give it a couple days 00:33:25.380 --> 00:33:27.740 or a day and I'll watch it and I'll do the crying 00:33:27.740 --> 00:33:29.940 with laughter emoji and that's basically it and 00:33:29.940 --> 00:33:34.039 I he obviously doesn't understand that he's just 00:33:34.039 --> 00:33:36.319 bombarding me with reels because he keeps doing 00:33:36.319 --> 00:33:38.500 it and I'm probably not the only one but I'm 00:33:38.500 --> 00:33:41.559 just like bro like Get take the fucking hint 00:33:41.559 --> 00:33:44.200 like I'm not I'm not wanting to be on this app 00:33:44.200 --> 00:33:45.859 all the time because I'm not Watching all the 00:33:45.859 --> 00:33:48.099 reels all the time and sending you more So I 00:33:48.099 --> 00:33:49.960 think you're right to a sense, but there are 00:33:49.960 --> 00:33:52.240 other people out there that just are still wrapped 00:33:52.240 --> 00:33:55.079 up in it I mean I think tick -tock I hadn't been 00:33:55.079 --> 00:33:58.319 on it for months and months and months and then 00:33:58.319 --> 00:34:00.960 whenever I logged in to either check something 00:34:00.960 --> 00:34:03.779 or when it was I when I logged in to go delete 00:34:03.779 --> 00:34:07.519 all my accounts I remember saying that I had 00:34:07.519 --> 00:34:11.400 like hundreds of messages from people. Jesus, 00:34:11.519 --> 00:34:13.559 because they were just forwarding me videos over 00:34:13.559 --> 00:34:15.739 months and months and months. And I'm like, I'm 00:34:15.739 --> 00:34:19.659 like, oh my god, like, really? Thank you for 00:34:19.659 --> 00:34:23.659 sending me stuff. There's this girl that I used 00:34:23.659 --> 00:34:26.280 to work with at my other store. And she will 00:34:26.280 --> 00:34:28.699 sometimes send our group chat a tick tock link 00:34:28.699 --> 00:34:31.579 to a video. And I, I literally can't watch them 00:34:31.579 --> 00:34:33.280 because I no longer have the app. And I'll just 00:34:33.280 --> 00:34:35.420 say like, I'm not on TikTok anymore. And in the 00:34:35.420 --> 00:34:37.639 back of my mind, I'm just like, man, you're still 00:34:37.639 --> 00:34:41.320 on TikTok. I don't I can't tell if TikTok is 00:34:41.320 --> 00:34:43.599 still popular or not, because I'm not on it. 00:34:43.619 --> 00:34:45.659 And I don't give it any thought. But I think 00:34:45.659 --> 00:34:49.219 it's still popular. I have gotten a lot of people 00:34:49.219 --> 00:34:51.500 to figure out that I'm also not on it, because 00:34:51.500 --> 00:34:53.719 they'll send me videos. I'm like, sorry, I don't 00:34:53.719 --> 00:34:56.619 have the app at all. And that's OK. Yeah. I'm 00:34:56.619 --> 00:34:57.659 like, if you want me to see it, you're going 00:34:57.659 --> 00:35:00.260 to screen record it and send it. I remember reading 00:35:00.260 --> 00:35:02.630 somewhere that. Yeah, all the time. I remember 00:35:02.630 --> 00:35:06.630 reading somewhere that China, it's their version 00:35:06.630 --> 00:35:10.690 of this TikTok app in China is like a mental 00:35:10.690 --> 00:35:13.030 health, like educational thing that they send 00:35:13.030 --> 00:35:14.769 people videos every day, like how to take care 00:35:14.769 --> 00:35:17.130 of yourself and how to do daily tasks. And they 00:35:17.130 --> 00:35:19.849 literally sent America the version we have. And 00:35:19.849 --> 00:35:22.030 I was just like, you know, that is so fucking 00:35:22.030 --> 00:35:24.349 smart. And like, what a power play because they 00:35:24.349 --> 00:35:26.989 know what we're doing has made us Like we didn't 00:35:26.989 --> 00:35:30.030 need any help to become more stupid, but it sure 00:35:30.030 --> 00:35:32.869 is doing the trick because I see, I remember 00:35:32.869 --> 00:35:35.329 seeing some of these TikTok people and I'm just 00:35:35.329 --> 00:35:40.170 like, yikes, yikes. I'm glad I broke the trance 00:35:40.170 --> 00:35:43.010 when I did, because I was in it bad. I'm glad 00:35:43.010 --> 00:35:45.550 I broke it. And also it's kind of fun to watch. 00:35:45.789 --> 00:35:48.809 Not fun, I shouldn't say it that way. It's interesting 00:35:48.809 --> 00:35:54.519 to watch a lot of these. Creators. Yeah, and 00:35:54.519 --> 00:35:57.760 especially like the couples and how they're their 00:35:57.760 --> 00:36:01.400 videos look so like authentically close and staged 00:36:01.400 --> 00:36:03.420 and then you start to see like behind the background 00:36:03.420 --> 00:36:06.239 stuff and like they're just ordinary really unhappy 00:36:06.239 --> 00:36:09.860 people because a lot of times the The job to 00:36:09.860 --> 00:36:12.960 be a creator like that is just don't ever ending. 00:36:12.960 --> 00:36:17.639 Yeah It's mr. Beast is a great example of because 00:36:17.639 --> 00:36:22.579 he has said publicly that he has lost track of 00:36:22.579 --> 00:36:26.059 who he is as a person. Yeah, in pursuit of fame. 00:36:26.780 --> 00:36:29.000 Yep. Because you're performing all the time. 00:36:29.360 --> 00:36:31.920 All the time. Now granted, he said he's okay 00:36:31.920 --> 00:36:34.159 with that that he's lost himself in the process. 00:36:34.179 --> 00:36:36.960 But like, Jesus fucking Christ, what a thing 00:36:36.960 --> 00:36:39.380 to just be like, Yeah, I don't really know who 00:36:39.380 --> 00:36:43.940 I am anymore. But I have fame now for a little 00:36:43.940 --> 00:36:49.030 bit. I I feel like even podcasters i feel like 00:36:49.030 --> 00:36:52.150 tony and ryan i feel like that is kind of a path 00:36:52.150 --> 00:36:56.090 they went down a little bit i feel like for example 00:36:56.090 --> 00:36:58.170 how many times have i told you guys on our show 00:36:58.170 --> 00:37:01.369 that when we're recording while we are being 00:37:01.369 --> 00:37:07.869 us it is a presentation of us where we like i'm 00:37:07.869 --> 00:37:10.539 making more jokes and shit like that that don't 00:37:10.539 --> 00:37:12.920 really fucking align with how I live life, but 00:37:12.920 --> 00:37:15.619 it's all for the kind of the comedy at the time. 00:37:15.880 --> 00:37:19.059 It's my humor, but the image that people are 00:37:19.059 --> 00:37:20.760 getting of me and that sometimes I feel like 00:37:20.760 --> 00:37:22.780 I have to portray just to keep the comedy going, 00:37:23.039 --> 00:37:28.039 it's acting and we do it once a week. I, I, and 00:37:28.039 --> 00:37:30.739 not really for that much. I liked to listen to 00:37:30.739 --> 00:37:32.519 Tony and Ryan for a little while and I tried 00:37:32.519 --> 00:37:35.260 to keep up, but man they do it every day. Yeah, 00:37:35.260 --> 00:37:38.559 it's their job five days a week. I don't understand. 00:37:39.019 --> 00:37:42.280 And they have to be on and perform and like I 00:37:42.280 --> 00:37:45.900 know they're pretty authentic probably, but like 00:37:45.900 --> 00:37:51.039 man to always be like on like that. It just seems 00:37:51.039 --> 00:37:55.980 exhausting. It was fine whenever I lived 25 minutes 00:37:55.980 --> 00:37:59.219 from work. and had to drive 25 minutes or longer 00:37:59.219 --> 00:38:01.500 and like I could squeeze the episodes in on my 00:38:01.500 --> 00:38:04.300 drive it was great and then you know prior to 00:38:04.300 --> 00:38:07.119 that I could also listen to like NPR news and 00:38:07.119 --> 00:38:08.679 Wall Street Journal and stuff like that and then 00:38:08.679 --> 00:38:13.010 news and 2016 went so fucking insane I gave up 00:38:13.010 --> 00:38:15.650 but I had to stop listening to it. I used to 00:38:15.650 --> 00:38:18.610 be a huge advocate for politics. I loved listening 00:38:18.610 --> 00:38:21.869 to NPR on the way to and from work but now I 00:38:21.869 --> 00:38:24.409 sometimes NPR will pop on and I'm just like I 00:38:24.409 --> 00:38:26.510 listen to it for five seconds and I'm like nope 00:38:26.510 --> 00:38:28.789 yeah I don't want it it I don't want it and it 00:38:28.789 --> 00:38:30.489 unfortunately it always has to go down a political 00:38:30.489 --> 00:38:32.449 path I'm like I'm out I catch enough of this 00:38:32.449 --> 00:38:36.219 I'm out I appreciate you I'm out I appreciate 00:38:36.219 --> 00:38:38.559 what you do and what you're doing, but I can't 00:38:38.559 --> 00:38:43.219 listen to it all the fucking time. Yeah, I can't. 00:38:43.719 --> 00:38:46.699 Um, should we go to commercial break or press 00:38:46.699 --> 00:38:50.320 pause? Yeah, to a break, please. Let's go straight 00:38:50.320 --> 00:38:55.239 to press pause. You're enjoying season eight 00:38:55.239 --> 00:38:58.380 of Beards and Sundries. Now back to the game. 00:39:00.889 --> 00:39:03.250 And we're back. I don't even remember what the 00:39:03.250 --> 00:39:06.389 second part was about and I made it up No, it's 00:39:06.389 --> 00:39:12.110 um We're gonna think about some things that straight 00:39:12.110 --> 00:39:13.510 men have created that we could see ourselves 00:39:13.510 --> 00:39:16.349 getting into like wrestling. Yeah. Oh, yeah I 00:39:16.349 --> 00:39:18.570 basically already do it in the bedroom. It's 00:39:18.570 --> 00:39:22.010 just that might be a little more focused on pinning 00:39:22.010 --> 00:39:29.989 them down but That's a little rapey Point That 00:39:29.989 --> 00:39:34.750 wasn't what I meant. Get down there, young man. 00:39:34.909 --> 00:39:41.389 Get down there. Ew, don't say that either. Oh, 00:39:41.449 --> 00:39:45.210 this segment's starting so bad. Get down there, 00:39:45.269 --> 00:39:49.429 young man. I'm going to pin you down. The dainty 00:39:49.429 --> 00:39:55.909 dom strikes again. How about a VCR head cleaner? 00:39:56.250 --> 00:40:00.210 Oh my gosh. That's dangerous on cardiovascular. 00:40:00.769 --> 00:40:03.030 I somehow doubt it. Yeah, if you're on meds. 00:40:03.030 --> 00:40:06.250 Yeah, and I am. Well, then don't do it the wrong 00:40:06.250 --> 00:40:08.110 way, stupid. Yeah, I can't because I'm on blood 00:40:08.110 --> 00:40:09.949 pressure medication. Like I'm literally on a 00:40:09.949 --> 00:40:17.329 beta blocker. Jock straps. Oh, yeah. Yes. Yeah. 00:40:17.510 --> 00:40:19.309 Although I am convinced a gay man would have 00:40:19.309 --> 00:40:22.309 done that. The whole ass is just out. Yeah, why 00:40:22.309 --> 00:40:25.849 why like is it just like are you supposed to 00:40:25.849 --> 00:40:27.409 be able to poop really quick on the baseball 00:40:27.409 --> 00:40:30.469 diamond? Like why is the ass out? Why did you 00:40:30.469 --> 00:40:34.429 know what I have to look this up why? Jock straps 00:40:34.429 --> 00:40:43.530 made your algorithm Okay, in the late 1800s, 00:40:43.710 --> 00:40:46.010 the velocipedes, or whatever the early bicycles, 00:40:46.349 --> 00:40:48.510 were becoming a popular mode of transportation 00:40:48.510 --> 00:40:50.989 in Boston. However, these bikes lacked rubber 00:40:50.989 --> 00:40:53.289 tires and suspension, and the city streets were 00:40:53.289 --> 00:40:56.719 primarily made of uneven cobblestone. Whether 00:40:56.719 --> 00:40:58.460 they're writing or just the pole for the men 00:40:58.460 --> 00:41:00.920 riding these bone shakers the constant jarring 00:41:00.920 --> 00:41:04.260 and more than just Uncomfortable and it was medically 00:41:04.260 --> 00:41:06.360 risky the repetitive impact could lead to various 00:41:06.360 --> 00:41:08.860 visits. What the okay? This is so like what Jay 00:41:08.860 --> 00:41:11.980 okay? Are we getting there get the jockstraps 00:41:11.980 --> 00:41:16.269 created it? So basically it was originally created 00:41:16.269 --> 00:41:18.269 as an undergarment specifically designed for 00:41:18.269 --> 00:41:20.929 bicycle jockeys The term jockstrap is sort and 00:41:20.929 --> 00:41:23.730 version of bicycle jockey strap It featured a 00:41:23.730 --> 00:41:25.929 snug elastic waistband to support a pouch held 00:41:25.929 --> 00:41:28.190 so it was basically just supposed to hold your 00:41:28.190 --> 00:41:30.469 junk And then care about the ass whole fabric 00:41:30.469 --> 00:41:33.750 too expensive the whole ass just stick it up 00:41:33.750 --> 00:41:36.570 I guess Yeah, I guess fabric was expensive back 00:41:36.570 --> 00:41:39.210 then. So maybe it makes sense, but like was it 00:41:39.210 --> 00:41:41.269 why they continue to do that? Then why would 00:41:41.269 --> 00:41:43.210 you runners and gymnasts begin using them for 00:41:43.210 --> 00:41:45.409 general comfort to prevent strain during high 00:41:45.409 --> 00:41:48.590 impact? Okay, I guess the fabric would make you 00:41:48.590 --> 00:41:51.190 sweat and shave. Why was there no ass on them? 00:41:56.130 --> 00:41:58.110 The poor person at Fruit of the Loom chats like, 00:41:58.230 --> 00:42:04.570 I'm sorry, sir, I can't process your anger. There 00:42:04.570 --> 00:42:06.289 was no cornucopia. I don't know what to tell 00:42:06.289 --> 00:42:07.969 you, sir. We see the Fruit of the Loom, please 00:42:07.969 --> 00:42:10.230 show up at Jay's apartment, like break through 00:42:10.230 --> 00:42:12.469 his window. It's the guys that are wearing the 00:42:12.469 --> 00:42:16.849 hard costumes. Get him! Basically, it's because 00:42:16.849 --> 00:42:19.110 we didn't have moisture wicking technology back 00:42:19.110 --> 00:42:22.230 then, and so this added better temperature regulation. 00:42:22.789 --> 00:42:24.110 All we had was potato sacks. Because otherwise, 00:42:24.170 --> 00:42:26.260 a full seat garment would be made of of heavy 00:42:26.260 --> 00:42:29.179 cotton or wool and become swampy, sweat -soaked 00:42:29.179 --> 00:42:32.719 mess. That makes sense for us. I think you would 00:42:32.719 --> 00:42:35.980 get swamp -ass. And then the other was the freedom 00:42:35.980 --> 00:42:38.960 of movement, because all that fabric would bunch 00:42:38.960 --> 00:42:42.090 up, shave, or slip down. That's a gay reason 00:42:42.090 --> 00:42:44.769 if I've ever heard one. Some nanny boy back then 00:42:44.769 --> 00:42:48.030 was like, ooh, that's why the ass is out. It's 00:42:48.030 --> 00:42:49.769 a little too warm back there. We want to see 00:42:49.769 --> 00:42:52.170 your gams. This is my other one, my favorite. 00:42:52.329 --> 00:42:54.550 Ease of layering. Because they were just a support 00:42:54.550 --> 00:42:56.650 tool, adding a full seat would have created double 00:42:56.650 --> 00:42:58.769 layers of fabric on the rear, leading to uncomfortable 00:42:58.769 --> 00:43:02.010 bulk and restricted movement. I want that double 00:43:02.010 --> 00:43:07.239 layer. Some of us don't need that. We're already 00:43:07.239 --> 00:43:11.219 double -cheeked up. I want that extra layer to 00:43:11.219 --> 00:43:13.559 catch the sweat before the next layer gets added. 00:43:14.199 --> 00:43:16.900 Oh, you meant for... Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah. 00:43:16.900 --> 00:43:20.239 Oh, for swamp our ass. It's like, huh? Yeah, 00:43:20.340 --> 00:43:23.360 not for patting my ass, no. So, the theory is 00:43:23.360 --> 00:43:25.699 Jay needs the layer to catch the swamp ass that's 00:43:25.699 --> 00:43:27.539 gonna happen because of the fabric in the first 00:43:27.539 --> 00:43:30.059 place. Because the swamp ass is inevitable. Back 00:43:30.059 --> 00:43:32.260 then, yeah, I would have voted for no ass in 00:43:32.260 --> 00:43:37.559 my... underwear hey boys look at me no ass okay 00:43:37.559 --> 00:43:45.780 hank hill oh god well we learned something today 00:43:45.780 --> 00:43:48.039 and that was exciting we did learn something 00:43:48.039 --> 00:43:49.679 today i don't know if it was exciting but we 00:43:49.679 --> 00:43:51.300 learned something today we did learn something 00:43:51.300 --> 00:43:53.500 today that that did happen too much swamp ass 00:43:53.500 --> 00:43:57.230 got it all right is there anything else Rugby, 00:43:57.309 --> 00:43:59.610 I would do rugby. Honestly rugby, I think about 00:43:59.610 --> 00:44:03.929 it frequently. Those shorts. The shorts, or the 00:44:03.929 --> 00:44:05.929 main thing for me it's the shorts, but like also 00:44:05.929 --> 00:44:08.969 like the whole outfit, the way it's like very 00:44:08.969 --> 00:44:12.110 football adjacent and just big burly men tackling 00:44:12.110 --> 00:44:15.590 each other like, oh man, like yes, yes, yes. 00:44:16.309 --> 00:44:20.949 All the on the lips kissing that happens. I am 00:44:20.949 --> 00:44:24.280 not a baseball fan. Okay, unless I'm going to 00:44:24.280 --> 00:44:26.900 a game and, uh, like I used to have friends that 00:44:26.900 --> 00:44:28.340 had a suite that they could never get people 00:44:28.340 --> 00:44:31.900 to go to, so I'd get to go. And then, like, I'm 00:44:31.900 --> 00:44:33.679 getting a server that brings me beers a lot, 00:44:33.699 --> 00:44:36.940 and I'm like, yes, this is my life. Love baseball. 00:44:37.559 --> 00:44:39.980 Because I'm shaded, getting unlimited beer, and 00:44:39.980 --> 00:44:41.760 just, yeah, it lasts three hours. Otherwise, 00:44:42.019 --> 00:44:44.139 baseball's fucking boring. It's so boring. Now, 00:44:44.679 --> 00:44:48.260 here's what would be different if... I got to 00:44:48.260 --> 00:44:51.420 be on like a gay baseball league where we're 00:44:51.420 --> 00:44:56.219 all wearing the tight pants and it's being fun. 00:44:56.360 --> 00:44:59.599 That's okay because there's not that much running 00:44:59.599 --> 00:45:02.239 in baseball. You do a couple sprints if you hit 00:45:02.239 --> 00:45:05.579 the ball well. Hope you make it to. One, two, 00:45:05.619 --> 00:45:07.820 three, four sprints. Sorry, I forgot how many 00:45:07.820 --> 00:45:11.800 sides were in a diamond. On a square? Yeah, a 00:45:11.800 --> 00:45:14.440 square. You forgot how many sides were in a baseball 00:45:14.440 --> 00:45:18.980 diamond? Well, yeah, just leave me alone. So 00:45:18.980 --> 00:45:20.739 all I have to do is sprint. Can you take a picture 00:45:20.739 --> 00:45:24.980 of a baseball diamond today? And I have to swing 00:45:24.980 --> 00:45:26.800 a bat, and if I don't make it, then I just get 00:45:26.800 --> 00:45:32.820 to sit and drink water and eat. That is the gay 00:45:32.820 --> 00:45:41.460 leave. Sorry. I'm just imagining now like the 00:45:41.460 --> 00:45:44.260 gays and eating their sunflower seeds and he's 00:45:44.260 --> 00:45:48.000 like, spit on me. It's just like shells all over 00:45:48.000 --> 00:45:51.300 the place. And there's spittoons. Spittoon. Spittoon. 00:45:51.659 --> 00:45:53.940 Are there any gay softball leagues down there, 00:45:54.000 --> 00:45:55.260 Jake? Because there's a couple up here in Tulsa. 00:45:55.360 --> 00:45:57.019 Surely. You think I'm actually going to do that? 00:45:57.019 --> 00:45:58.539 Yeah, but don't call me that. And don't call 00:45:58.539 --> 00:46:04.300 me Shirley. If you can just do one sprint. I 00:46:04.300 --> 00:46:06.539 guess I see, Jay, you drink one mango high noon, 00:46:06.599 --> 00:46:08.179 you get out there, you get three strikes, and 00:46:08.179 --> 00:46:09.659 you're right back to the bench. I guess I could 00:46:09.659 --> 00:46:11.679 do kickball, because I don't have to swing. I 00:46:11.679 --> 00:46:13.659 thought about it. There is a league here in Tulsa, 00:46:13.760 --> 00:46:15.619 but they moved from Wednesday evenings to Sunday 00:46:15.619 --> 00:46:16.719 afternoons, and I have to work, so I couldn't 00:46:16.719 --> 00:46:18.059 do it. I just don't want to add anything else 00:46:18.059 --> 00:46:19.940 to my schedule. I'm already busy enough. Fuck 00:46:19.940 --> 00:46:22.840 off. My problem is, is I want to do it for fun, 00:46:22.880 --> 00:46:25.079 and I don't want to do it for, like, true competition. 00:46:25.699 --> 00:46:27.840 And so, like, some people get real competitive, 00:46:28.000 --> 00:46:29.659 and then all of a sudden we start having finals 00:46:29.659 --> 00:46:32.909 in these leagues, and I'm just like, no. No, 00:46:33.289 --> 00:46:36.630 you're not getting me that committed. No. Yeah, 00:46:36.650 --> 00:46:39.349 I've got a friend who he does softball all this. 00:46:39.510 --> 00:46:42.710 I mean, all the time. I don't know how many seasons 00:46:42.710 --> 00:46:44.750 play. He plays softball and I'm pretty sure it's 00:46:44.750 --> 00:46:47.190 all of them. But every time we invite him over 00:46:47.190 --> 00:46:49.090 on the weekend, he's like, yeah, I can be over 00:46:49.090 --> 00:46:51.090 after this time. He's got softball. I'm like, 00:46:51.150 --> 00:46:54.989 how do you have softball every weekend? I mean, 00:46:55.389 --> 00:46:58.849 one of my coworkers, she and her wife are always 00:46:58.849 --> 00:47:01.730 doing volleyball. And apparently right now they've 00:47:01.730 --> 00:47:03.969 been pressured into two different leagues. And 00:47:03.969 --> 00:47:05.730 she's like, so we do it at least two nights a 00:47:05.730 --> 00:47:09.750 week. And I'm like, Jesus, that's good exercise. 00:47:09.809 --> 00:47:12.050 Joe's schedule is busy to me for a weeknight. 00:47:12.070 --> 00:47:14.929 Like he does. We do this one night a week and 00:47:14.929 --> 00:47:17.090 then he does choir one night a week and then 00:47:17.090 --> 00:47:18.829 he does Tulsa wins one night a week. So he's 00:47:18.829 --> 00:47:21.190 got three nights a week where he's doing things. 00:47:21.909 --> 00:47:23.090 Wednesday would have been kickball if it was 00:47:23.090 --> 00:47:26.039 still a thing like. This is always our one scheduled 00:47:26.039 --> 00:47:28.719 thing in the week for me, but somehow my weeks 00:47:28.719 --> 00:47:31.880 always end up being busy for the most part. And 00:47:31.880 --> 00:47:34.420 I'll start the week and be like, it's gonna be 00:47:34.420 --> 00:47:36.780 so quiet. And then every day I'm booked by like 00:47:36.780 --> 00:47:42.280 Tuesday. And I don't know how I always feel like 00:47:42.280 --> 00:47:44.980 my weeks are whenever we are, especially if we're 00:47:44.980 --> 00:47:48.760 busy, like every night. I'm just like man like 00:47:48.760 --> 00:47:51.579 how do adults manage this especially people with 00:47:51.579 --> 00:47:54.039 kids and I'll explain like well It's like to 00:47:54.039 --> 00:47:55.679 somebody and they're like, why are you doing 00:47:55.679 --> 00:47:59.579 all that? I'm like How do you not? Yeah, like 00:47:59.579 --> 00:48:02.099 I have to be social I can't just sit in my house 00:48:02.099 --> 00:48:07.280 all day like I have to be healthy social stabbing 00:48:07.280 --> 00:48:09.739 No, I won't you you can stay home as much as 00:48:09.739 --> 00:48:15.170 you want help me No, he's fine! Leave him alone! 00:48:15.590 --> 00:48:18.989 Go to commercial, now! Now! I'm blinking twice. 00:48:19.949 --> 00:48:23.429 Which eye? Haha. I don't know. I'm winking once. 00:48:24.170 --> 00:48:27.150 I'll turn that brown eye blue. I heard his brown 00:48:27.150 --> 00:48:30.610 eye. Or John Ryan. And on that note... Jesus 00:48:30.610 --> 00:48:34.389 Christ. And now, for a word from our sponsor, 00:48:34.750 --> 00:48:40.389 Jay's Three -Sided Baseball Diamond. And now, 00:48:40.409 --> 00:48:44.780 this week's Universal News! Easter, April 5th, 00:48:44.800 --> 00:48:49.239 2026. A world in motion, and boy is it moving 00:48:49.239 --> 00:48:51.679 fast. With the strain of hamoos locked tighter 00:48:51.679 --> 00:48:54.179 than a drum, and the conflict in Iran reaching 00:48:54.179 --> 00:48:57.760 a fever pitch. The price of high -ontane gasoline 00:48:57.760 --> 00:49:01.460 has soared past $4 a gallon. National averages 00:49:01.460 --> 00:49:03.539 are skyrocketing, and your wallet is feeling 00:49:03.539 --> 00:49:07.300 the pinch of a global upheaval. But while the 00:49:07.300 --> 00:49:09.659 world burns, one man is looking at the diamond 00:49:09.659 --> 00:49:13.610 and saying, enough! Jay is taking a stand against 00:49:13.610 --> 00:49:16.530 excess with exhaustive news being thrown in our 00:49:16.530 --> 00:49:19.309 face Why are we still wasting precious energy 00:49:19.309 --> 00:49:22.750 running to four different bases? It's a geometric 00:49:22.750 --> 00:49:26.190 catastrophe in a world of surging crude and high 00:49:26.190 --> 00:49:30.090 -interest USDA farm loans. We simply cannot afford 00:49:30.090 --> 00:49:33.829 the square He's introducing the three -sided 00:49:33.829 --> 00:49:36.929 diamond by rationing the infield. We're cutting 00:49:36.929 --> 00:49:40.289 down on game time and saving a few bucks at the 00:49:40.289 --> 00:49:42.869 beer stand so fans are never passed out drunk 00:49:42.869 --> 00:49:47.070 by the 7th inning stretch. Save your fuel, save 00:49:47.070 --> 00:49:51.389 your bucks, save your liver! Support the three 00:49:51.389 --> 00:49:56.309 -sided diamond! Tune in next week for your update 00:49:56.309 --> 00:50:09.079 on Universal News. You know what the key difference 00:50:09.079 --> 00:50:11.880 is about Jay's three -sided baseball diamond? 00:50:12.059 --> 00:50:14.719 Instead of bases, they're just cocktail stations. 00:50:15.300 --> 00:50:17.579 They get progressively more boozy. It's kind 00:50:17.579 --> 00:50:21.079 of like one of those beer runs. It's a little 00:50:21.079 --> 00:50:23.340 like that. Except it's martinis. You start with 00:50:23.340 --> 00:50:25.679 a high noon, and then in second base, you're 00:50:25.679 --> 00:50:28.280 getting a French 75, and then by the time you're 00:50:28.280 --> 00:50:30.340 hitting home, it's vodka rocks. I'm thinking 00:50:30.340 --> 00:50:32.539 like what the banners are probably around the 00:50:32.539 --> 00:50:34.760 stadium, like how the ads are. One of them is 00:50:34.760 --> 00:50:37.969 probably Sunglass Hut. Another one is probably 00:50:37.969 --> 00:50:44.389 Crumble. Another one is Sonic. Another one's 00:50:44.389 --> 00:50:47.750 probably some random CPAP manufacturer. Every 00:50:47.750 --> 00:50:50.789 base he has to turn down a deal at Sunglass Hut 00:50:50.789 --> 00:50:53.610 to make it to the next base. He always freaks 00:50:53.610 --> 00:50:55.789 out. I'm running with my martini. I'm like, God 00:50:55.789 --> 00:50:57.869 damn it, that was such a good pair of sunglasses. 00:51:00.230 --> 00:51:06.809 They were only $460. Originally $495, such a 00:51:06.809 --> 00:51:09.929 deal! Oddly enough, there's no pitching in this. 00:51:11.769 --> 00:51:14.449 Only pitching. It's a different pitching. Jay's 00:51:14.449 --> 00:51:17.230 the only pitcher. The rest of the team is the 00:51:17.230 --> 00:51:21.630 catchers. But there are no doubles, only singles, 00:51:21.809 --> 00:51:25.710 because of his one nut, one nut. You know what, 00:51:25.710 --> 00:51:29.989 I'm moving on to user content. Wait, one more, 00:51:30.010 --> 00:51:32.239 one more. Jay does a split and they have to call 00:51:32.239 --> 00:51:35.159 it a single ball what they call say ball and 00:51:35.159 --> 00:51:39.460 he goes hey you worked your way up to that you 00:51:39.460 --> 00:51:42.159 got i did yeah i kind of jumbled around a little 00:51:42.159 --> 00:51:49.179 bit joe will you just take a picture but jay 00:51:49.179 --> 00:51:51.199 do we have any particular torsion they call it 00:51:51.199 --> 00:51:54.780 a curve ball oh no that's that's not what's curved 00:51:54.780 --> 00:52:01.619 anyways we heard from Derrick with the good beard. 00:52:08.059 --> 00:52:11.880 That does remind me of how the media board was 00:52:11.880 --> 00:52:14.380 messing up last week. I completely forgot about 00:52:14.380 --> 00:52:16.460 it until I was editing and I kept trying to click 00:52:16.460 --> 00:52:22.179 the intro and go da da da da da da da. And I 00:52:22.179 --> 00:52:24.539 cracked up so much whenever I was editing there. 00:52:24.739 --> 00:52:28.199 Anyways, Derrick just sent this at 5 PM. He said, 00:52:28.219 --> 00:52:31.119 hey beard hose, I'm glad to hear that your troubles 00:52:31.119 --> 00:52:33.659 are behind you. Although this was about 20 years 00:52:33.659 --> 00:52:37.380 ago, I remember my worst week ever quote unquote. 00:52:37.619 --> 00:52:40.599 A hail storm caused $8 ,000 worth of damage on 00:52:40.599 --> 00:52:43.019 my brand new Acura that I'd purchased 24 hours 00:52:43.019 --> 00:52:46.099 before. The same hail storm required me to get 00:52:46.099 --> 00:52:49.179 a new roof. And in the middle of all this, I 00:52:49.179 --> 00:52:51.559 cracked a tooth on an Altoid and had to get a 00:52:51.559 --> 00:53:00.320 root canal and a crown. What kind of Acura? I'm 00:53:00.320 --> 00:53:03.179 2006 Acura and you know, what's funny is that's 00:53:03.179 --> 00:53:07.159 when the Acura TL came out and that's the quintessential 00:53:07.159 --> 00:53:10.579 Acura sedan that I always think about I Think 00:53:10.579 --> 00:53:12.619 so sad they don't make those anymore. Yeah, they 00:53:12.619 --> 00:53:15.949 can turn around in a small state Terrible turning 00:53:15.949 --> 00:53:18.070 radius. We had a friend who had one and it was 00:53:18.070 --> 00:53:21.809 always like a 27 point turn. Yeah Well, then 00:53:21.809 --> 00:53:26.070 so like was it a TL it was probably a TL MDX 00:53:26.070 --> 00:53:28.050 because the MDX was super new back then it was 00:53:28.050 --> 00:53:33.340 a Miata I will say my MBX does not have the turn 00:53:33.340 --> 00:53:35.219 radius that my Highlander did. My Highlander 00:53:35.219 --> 00:53:38.519 was fantastic. Anyways, he said continues with 00:53:38.519 --> 00:53:40.679 taking a week off to regroup and recharge was 00:53:40.679 --> 00:53:42.920 obviously needed. You can't take care of your 00:53:42.920 --> 00:53:45.099 Beardos if you aren't taking care of yourself. 00:53:45.519 --> 00:53:47.480 How the hell you gonna love somebody? Anyways, 00:53:47.880 --> 00:53:52.889 I also... RuPaul, don't sue. I also laughed out 00:53:52.889 --> 00:53:56.030 loud at Jay when he suggested his new Regi accessory 00:53:56.030 --> 00:53:58.429 should be a convertible. I did laugh at that 00:53:58.429 --> 00:54:01.210 too. This is the most Jay thing ever. Oh my god, 00:54:01.230 --> 00:54:07.800 I do sound really bougie. Sound? Wow. Finally 00:54:07.800 --> 00:54:10.559 getting outside of yourself and getting a little 00:54:10.559 --> 00:54:14.039 introspection done. Second only to mispronouncing 00:54:14.039 --> 00:54:16.780 words. Also think the chosen vehicle should be 00:54:16.780 --> 00:54:20.719 a PT Cruiser convertible. Yes! Now that is the 00:54:20.719 --> 00:54:23.619 most un -Bougie version of this and I am all 00:54:23.619 --> 00:54:26.239 for it. Wood trim. Please. If you want to go 00:54:26.239 --> 00:54:29.139 uber inexpensive, you go made a convertible too. 00:54:30.900 --> 00:54:34.780 oh god they did oh god that sounds amazing wait 00:54:34.780 --> 00:54:37.860 is that a german joke because it was uber inexpensive 00:54:37.860 --> 00:54:42.380 for a yugo i don't know those were from yugoslavia 00:54:42.380 --> 00:54:46.300 yeah that makes sense here's a dime kill peshy 00:54:46.300 --> 00:54:49.840 thanks sorry everybody sorry sorry carbritos 00:54:49.840 --> 00:54:54.400 sorry alex uh he finishes with thanks for bringing 00:54:54.400 --> 00:54:56.719 joy to all eight of your loyal listeners you 00:54:56.719 --> 00:54:58.500 guys are pretty much like family now so please 00:54:58.500 --> 00:55:00.280 make sure you take care of yourselves derrick 00:55:00.280 --> 00:55:02.739 with a good beard ps release the christmas album 00:55:02.739 --> 00:55:07.059 it's a hoax it's a hoax whoever told you it exists 00:55:07.059 --> 00:55:10.840 whoever told you it exists it's not real we're 00:55:10.840 --> 00:55:15.340 moving on and then i and then i stepped away 00:55:15.340 --> 00:55:18.219 from him because i started to realize i i'm trying 00:55:18.219 --> 00:55:24.150 to remember what he said about epstein Then I 00:55:24.150 --> 00:55:25.650 buried every single one of those songs on the 00:55:25.650 --> 00:55:29.889 back night of my Mar -a -Lago golf course. You'll 00:55:29.889 --> 00:55:31.769 notice that there was 94 people carrying the 00:55:31.769 --> 00:55:33.690 casket because it was not that heavy, I don't 00:55:33.690 --> 00:55:38.030 know why. Anyways. Alright, the next one is yours, 00:55:38.289 --> 00:55:41.309 Anthony. Oh, I really should have read emails 00:55:41.309 --> 00:55:45.269 before this happened, but I was busy. Hang on. 00:55:46.239 --> 00:55:50.980 I'm so excited! I'm so excited! I'm so excited! 00:55:53.219 --> 00:55:57.059 I love how that was the drug addiction episode. 00:55:57.840 --> 00:55:59.460 I was obsessed with that episode. That's all 00:55:59.460 --> 00:56:01.820 that they can get away with putting on TV. Well 00:56:01.820 --> 00:56:05.980 this next, this next entry comes from... Tammy 00:56:05.980 --> 00:56:24.630 Shaw? No! That's upsetting. Okay. We heard from 00:56:24.630 --> 00:56:29.829 Tammy Shaw, and it reads, Transmission. Signal 00:56:29.829 --> 00:56:34.530 integrity. Unstable. Player 1. Player 2. Player 00:56:34.530 --> 00:56:39.230 3. You've noticed it now, haven't you? The interruptions. 00:56:39.469 --> 00:56:43.230 The delays. The missing episode. You call it 00:56:43.230 --> 00:56:48.400 coincidence. You shouldn't. It said static there, 00:56:48.400 --> 00:56:52.880 so I get it. Jay, a quiet trip to the mountains. 00:56:53.500 --> 00:56:58.260 Colorado, clean air, new company. A guy you're 00:56:58.260 --> 00:57:01.119 dating. I didn't believe it either. A soft launch 00:57:01.119 --> 00:57:05.559 in a high -altitude zone. And yet, the lights 00:57:05.559 --> 00:57:11.659 flicker. Power fails. Once. Twice. Again. You 00:57:11.659 --> 00:57:14.570 check the breakers. Blamed the grid. Oh my god, 00:57:14.570 --> 00:57:16.989 we actually did check the breakers. I was like 00:57:16.989 --> 00:57:18.530 wouldn't that be embarrassing if it's just like 00:57:18.530 --> 00:57:23.269 the breaker flipped? Faint distortion. I don't 00:57:23.269 --> 00:57:26.309 know what that sound is probably another But 00:57:26.309 --> 00:57:30.769 power outages are not always electrical Sometimes 00:57:30.769 --> 00:57:34.230 they're environmental adjustments Moments where 00:57:34.230 --> 00:57:37.550 the system reminds you you are not outside the 00:57:37.550 --> 00:57:42.349 map Anthony you disappeared for a cycle no episode 00:57:42.429 --> 00:57:46.530 No input. A status condition applied. Sickness. 00:57:46.690 --> 00:57:50.230 Active. You called it COVID, so did my doctor. 00:57:50.690 --> 00:57:55.190 Fatigue. Silence. Isolation. A forced pause. 00:57:56.510 --> 00:57:59.230 Even the most talkative characters can be removed 00:57:59.230 --> 00:58:03.630 from play, temporarily. The game continues, with 00:58:03.630 --> 00:58:07.590 or without you. Joe. Technical difficulties, 00:58:07.909 --> 00:58:11.360 of course. Audio issues, timing errors, equipment 00:58:11.360 --> 00:58:15.800 not cooperating. You troubleshoot, restart, reconnect. 00:58:17.000 --> 00:58:20.460 Audio skips here. But what if the problem isn't 00:58:20.460 --> 00:58:23.920 the hardware? What if the signal itself is being 00:58:23.920 --> 00:58:27.920 interfered with? Three players, three disruptions, 00:58:28.300 --> 00:58:32.219 power, health, connection, all in a single cycle. 00:58:32.739 --> 00:58:36.000 And still, you hesitate to acknowledge the pattern. 00:58:36.559 --> 00:58:43.159 The system is adjusting. Balance must be maintained. 00:58:44.639 --> 00:58:47.880 The season approaches its final phase. The world 00:58:47.880 --> 00:58:52.400 grows less stable. Not broken. Never broken. 00:58:52.800 --> 00:58:56.900 Just rewritten. Small inconsistencies first. 00:58:57.400 --> 00:59:00.639 Missed uploads. Flickering lights. Voices cutting 00:59:00.639 --> 00:59:06.269 in and out. Soon. Objectives will change. Rules 00:59:06.269 --> 00:59:10.969 will no longer apply. You are not being punished. 00:59:11.050 --> 00:59:14.030 I'm really trying hard to stay true to the text 00:59:14.030 --> 00:59:17.469 of this now. Bear with me. You are not being 00:59:17.469 --> 00:59:20.750 punished. You are being prepared. The final levels 00:59:20.750 --> 00:59:24.369 are not about endurance. They are about understanding. 00:59:25.030 --> 00:59:30.769 And you are so close to seeing it. System note. 00:59:31.550 --> 00:59:37.650 Player awareness. increasing identity still unlockable 00:59:37.650 --> 00:59:43.170 five levels remain signal degrading autosave 00:59:43.170 --> 00:59:48.610 unavailable no evolution appreciates your service 00:59:48.610 --> 00:59:54.010 then we got another image and hey you're the 00:59:54.010 --> 00:59:58.130 bald one i'm the bald one honestly hell yeah 00:59:58.130 --> 01:00:02.000 i like myself i look pretty cute Also, like that 01:00:02.000 --> 01:00:05.320 my headphones go through my cowboy hat I look 01:00:05.320 --> 01:00:07.579 like I'm back working you would like a look in 01:00:07.579 --> 01:00:14.280 look at me Like what game I'm not ugly as this 01:00:14.280 --> 01:00:17.579 person, but this does not look like me This is 01:00:17.579 --> 01:00:19.900 like a PlayStation offshoot because of the little 01:00:19.900 --> 01:00:22.360 lights on the back of the controllers I'm just 01:00:22.360 --> 01:00:26.219 really focused on The top left where it has the 01:00:26.219 --> 01:00:28.760 crumble the crumble. Yeah the crumble and it 01:00:28.760 --> 01:00:33.550 looks like Yeah, who's fuck I'm blanking who's 01:00:33.550 --> 01:00:36.530 the it looks like Jeff Bezos on the right side, 01:00:36.530 --> 01:00:41.829 but then not him on the left side It kind of 01:00:41.829 --> 01:00:44.869 looks like the mad TV guy for like the mad magazine 01:00:44.869 --> 01:00:47.989 guy in a way without the hair It's it was just 01:00:47.989 --> 01:00:51.090 a picture of a person who is like aged up on 01:00:51.090 --> 01:00:54.010 one side and not the other also in the background 01:00:54.010 --> 01:00:59.239 Her hands are on her own shoulders Well, I don't 01:00:59.239 --> 01:01:01.920 know I thought she was like bent over looking 01:01:01.920 --> 01:01:07.900 at us I I look at this and you know what? 2005 01:01:07.900 --> 01:01:11.699 GameStop marketing team would have eaten this 01:01:11.699 --> 01:01:16.130 up Hell yeah. That is true. Oh, they would love 01:01:16.130 --> 01:01:18.769 this. Like if you put this on like, if these 01:01:18.769 --> 01:01:20.650 were like the three top level executives and 01:01:20.650 --> 01:01:22.489 they played this as like the cover thing for 01:01:22.489 --> 01:01:24.449 like their PowerPoint at the national convention, 01:01:24.750 --> 01:01:29.369 they would all lose their minds. I'm just stoked 01:01:29.369 --> 01:01:36.969 that I'm not the bald one. Fuck off. Yay. I'm 01:01:36.969 --> 01:01:39.849 also, I look at things like this, how AI has 01:01:39.849 --> 01:01:43.429 gotten to this level and like, man. How many 01:01:43.429 --> 01:01:46.170 old people you think are gonna get like just 01:01:46.170 --> 01:01:48.309 completely bamboozled within the next couple? 01:01:51.389 --> 01:01:54.030 Like the ones on Facebook that I no longer have 01:01:54.030 --> 01:01:57.610 to endure Oh, she loves her country. She's saluting 01:01:57.610 --> 01:02:00.309 in front of a Humvee with 20 bald eagles. That's 01:02:00.309 --> 01:02:07.949 definitely a real picture America well, and now 01:02:07.949 --> 01:02:10.849 I think scammers are like using like AI people 01:02:10.849 --> 01:02:13.389 so if you're watching a video of them or something 01:02:13.389 --> 01:02:17.570 like that I Saw that you're supposed to request 01:02:17.570 --> 01:02:21.070 to raise three fingers in front of your face 01:02:21.070 --> 01:02:24.590 Because for some reason AI can't handle that 01:02:26.079 --> 01:02:30.119 Yet. Yet. Why am I watching somebody do anything 01:02:30.119 --> 01:02:32.860 like that anyway? That's where I'm confused. 01:02:33.440 --> 01:02:36.639 Online culture is so weird. I think the only 01:02:36.639 --> 01:02:38.739 thing I can think of is the, well, one of the 01:02:38.739 --> 01:02:40.739 things I can think of would be like job interviews. 01:02:43.559 --> 01:02:48.099 I guess maybe. I would think of that or I don't 01:02:48.099 --> 01:02:49.619 know. There's other instances of things that 01:02:49.619 --> 01:02:53.119 we're not involved in that I assume video calls 01:02:53.119 --> 01:02:56.769 with that could be a scammer. would work out. 01:02:56.989 --> 01:02:59.530 Yeah, but the one I was watching, I can always 01:02:59.530 --> 01:03:02.489 tell by their mouth because it just doesn't. 01:03:02.489 --> 01:03:05.730 It's just not quite exactly what I think it should 01:03:05.730 --> 01:03:12.510 be doing. I don't know. I have this one deep 01:03:12.510 --> 01:03:16.090 fake of Pedro Pascall getting. pounded in the 01:03:16.090 --> 01:03:19.690 ass, and it's pretty good. It's it's pretty convincing. 01:03:20.090 --> 01:03:22.110 Pretty good. Speaking of that, how about Crumble 01:03:22.110 --> 01:03:28.809 Corner? You know, it's not AI Slop. You know, 01:03:28.829 --> 01:03:30.409 it's not a system administrator. Let me know 01:03:30.409 --> 01:03:32.730 if I read things good. The pictures probably 01:03:32.730 --> 01:03:36.030 are. Oh, my God. Sorry, I cannot wait for you 01:03:36.030 --> 01:03:40.150 to read the first one. Oh, wait. All right. So 01:03:40.150 --> 01:03:44.289 oh, sorry, the second one I'm wet for already. 01:03:46.559 --> 01:03:49.239 What? They're really going out of their way with 01:03:49.239 --> 01:03:52.639 this. Holy shit, you're right. Okay, so let's 01:03:52.639 --> 01:03:55.900 start this week's flavors, this week only, the 01:03:55.900 --> 01:04:00.780 Dubai Nest Dirt Cake Cup. They really can't get 01:04:00.780 --> 01:04:03.059 rid of that stuff, can they? They're trying so 01:04:03.059 --> 01:04:04.380 hard. God damn it, we're gonna have to make an 01:04:04.380 --> 01:04:07.639 entire cup to just burn through this shit. It 01:04:07.639 --> 01:04:09.460 really is. I mean, yeah, and they even put gummy 01:04:09.460 --> 01:04:11.480 worms in there, and all I really want is the 01:04:11.480 --> 01:04:13.960 gummy worm. Can you imagine how to build this 01:04:13.960 --> 01:04:16.960 thing? Layers of silky chocolate mousse, crunchy 01:04:16.960 --> 01:04:19.619 cookies, and cream streusel, and gummy worms 01:04:19.619 --> 01:04:22.320 topped with Dubai chocolate, inspired pistachio 01:04:22.320 --> 01:04:26.119 cream, crisp katafi, and chocolatey candy eggs. 01:04:27.280 --> 01:04:30.719 Please read that last line. Please read that. 01:04:31.780 --> 01:04:34.000 Image has been food -styled for visual display 01:04:34.000 --> 01:04:35.760 only. I'm gonna walk in and be like, what do 01:04:35.760 --> 01:04:39.119 you mean I gotta cut my cup? Do you think it's 01:04:39.119 --> 01:04:41.000 just like all smashed in there and it doesn't 01:04:41.000 --> 01:04:43.719 matter what I know they're just oh, yeah Have 01:04:43.719 --> 01:04:46.039 you seen the people who work at crumble? They 01:04:46.039 --> 01:04:49.480 do not give a shit The first review is probably 01:04:49.480 --> 01:04:52.940 my favorite that we've read yet. It's from someone 01:04:52.940 --> 01:05:01.679 named P and it says Busted a nut I didn't nut 01:05:01.679 --> 01:05:04.380 but they spelled it and UH busted a nut. Well, 01:05:04.380 --> 01:05:06.219 they probably couldn't probably couldn't post 01:05:06.219 --> 01:05:08.800 they probably couldn't say nut And then Ashley 01:05:08.800 --> 01:05:12.059 R. says, Jay, the second one. Oh, god, the second 01:05:12.059 --> 01:05:17.139 one is making me wet. Jeannie B. about this Dubai 01:05:17.139 --> 01:05:19.820 nest dirt cake cup says, so good. It's one of 01:05:19.820 --> 01:05:22.019 those things you don't make at home often. Speak 01:05:22.019 --> 01:05:24.159 for yourself, which makes this extra special 01:05:24.159 --> 01:05:27.900 and festive. Each layer is so delicious. Who 01:05:27.900 --> 01:05:32.940 is making Dubai -style dirt cups at home? Nest 01:05:32.940 --> 01:05:35.320 dirt cups. Well, not me. I don't have I don't 01:05:35.320 --> 01:05:38.320 have 12 pallets of Dubai ingredients sitting 01:05:38.320 --> 01:05:41.440 in my warehouse getting expired All right. So 01:05:41.440 --> 01:05:43.500 the next one is the strawberries and cream prolapse 01:05:43.500 --> 01:05:46.840 cookie. It looks good as hell though Jay's seen 01:05:46.840 --> 01:05:49.880 plenty of these probably So this is how do you 01:05:49.880 --> 01:05:53.059 see any of these? Oh damn So this is a vanilla 01:05:53.059 --> 01:05:55.539 cake cookie with fresh house -made whipped cream 01:05:55.539 --> 01:05:57.619 strawberry jam and strawberry slices It looks 01:05:57.619 --> 01:05:59.820 really pretty it looks so you'd have to be able 01:05:59.820 --> 01:06:03.070 to prolapse in anus Christina W says, tastes 01:06:03.070 --> 01:06:06.690 like strawberry shortcake! Joe, hold on, hold 01:06:06.690 --> 01:06:11.690 on, hold on. We're not, we're not, we're not 01:06:11.690 --> 01:06:14.929 gonna just, you shut the fuck up. I have to talk 01:06:14.929 --> 01:06:17.530 to Anthony right now. Fuck is wrong with you, 01:06:17.710 --> 01:06:24.349 bitch. You think you can just prolapse whatever 01:06:24.349 --> 01:06:28.219 you want. That's you. How many people are you 01:06:28.219 --> 01:06:30.880 ripping out their ass with? Come on. Give me 01:06:30.880 --> 01:06:37.119 a number, bitch. At least a couple. That sounds 01:06:37.119 --> 01:06:39.260 like a them problem. It's not sounds like something 01:06:39.260 --> 01:06:41.659 you did. You stop keeping track after three or 01:06:41.659 --> 01:06:47.880 four. Jesus fuck. My review says I did not listen 01:06:47.880 --> 01:06:54.059 to nah on that. Slow realization on Jay's part. 01:07:06.480 --> 01:07:14.440 Tabitha s says best Oh, I am crying. Holy shit. 01:07:14.719 --> 01:07:18.389 Hey Finally at least I can make you yeah, I may 01:07:18.389 --> 01:07:26.750 not It was J and it was not a fucking sheer delight 01:07:26.750 --> 01:07:34.170 It was from talking about assholes falling out 01:07:34.170 --> 01:07:47.239 Next up This is the carrot cake which I can just 01:07:47.239 --> 01:07:49.079 tell already by looking at this they had too 01:07:49.079 --> 01:07:51.900 much carrot cake left over This is two layers 01:07:51.900 --> 01:07:53.960 of carrot cake mixed with warm spices coconut 01:07:53.960 --> 01:07:56.079 pineapple and carrots complete with a light glaze 01:07:56.079 --> 01:07:57.860 and vanilla cream cheese frosting and topped 01:07:57.860 --> 01:08:00.119 with chopped pecans Hell, yes, I would eat this 01:08:00.119 --> 01:08:03.099 too. It looks good This looks like something 01:08:03.099 --> 01:08:07.440 we'd have to split for sure Shane who I assume 01:08:07.440 --> 01:08:10.219 is her long -suffering boyfriend said this bit 01:08:10.219 --> 01:08:15.769 heavy Do we think it's time to make some lists? 01:08:16.869 --> 01:08:18.430 Wait, hang on. Don't we have a boss fight? Or 01:08:18.430 --> 01:08:20.369 are we going to have a boss battle? It sounds 01:08:20.369 --> 01:08:22.069 like you guys just had a boss fight during Crumble 01:08:22.069 --> 01:08:24.310 Corner, but who do we think the boss battle is? 01:08:26.430 --> 01:08:30.210 The fourth base at Jay's Baseball Diamond? Yeah, 01:08:30.369 --> 01:08:34.649 why show up? I just keep looking at Jay's face 01:08:34.649 --> 01:08:38.109 and he looks so mad. Oh, it's now because I'm 01:08:38.109 --> 01:08:42.329 focusing again? It's also like tongue movements 01:08:42.329 --> 01:08:44.670 where you're just like, it looks like you are 01:08:44.670 --> 01:08:47.329 just on the edge of saying something, but you're 01:08:47.329 --> 01:08:49.829 just not quite sure what to say. Pretty much. 01:08:50.050 --> 01:08:53.470 How about the boss this week is Jay's timeless 01:08:53.470 --> 01:08:59.930 parentheses boring style. What? Where? What style? 01:09:01.029 --> 01:09:05.479 My outfits? I don't know. I felt the need to 01:09:05.479 --> 01:09:07.520 be mean one more time. I promise that'll be the 01:09:07.520 --> 01:09:12.560 last one. Okay. I promise I'll never be mean 01:09:12.560 --> 01:09:15.739 again. For this episode, you know, we do this 01:09:15.739 --> 01:09:20.739 once a week. But do you guys think it's game 01:09:20.739 --> 01:09:24.300 time? So we're defeating J -Style with fully 01:09:24.300 --> 01:09:28.659 -priced sunglasses at Sunglass Hut. No! No! You 01:09:28.659 --> 01:09:33.020 can't do that to me. Ah, there we go. That's 01:09:33.020 --> 01:09:35.779 a shame. But do you guys think it's time for 01:09:35.779 --> 01:09:46.260 a game? Yay! Yay! And Jay has this week's game, 01:09:46.560 --> 01:09:50.560 I've been told. We're just doing a list, right? 01:09:50.619 --> 01:09:52.100 Wait, didn't you say you had something for this? 01:09:52.220 --> 01:09:55.939 Oh yeah, I was just saying I have a list of things 01:09:55.939 --> 01:09:59.779 that... They're basically activities that straight 01:09:59.779 --> 01:10:04.960 men do. And we're going to basically like express 01:10:04.960 --> 01:10:11.420 what it really This will probably be easier than 01:10:11.420 --> 01:10:15.239 you think yeah Okay, so I think I'm gonna call 01:10:15.239 --> 01:10:28.640 it What's it really mean? So I literally just 01:10:28.640 --> 01:10:31.079 like pulled up a random list of shit literally 01:10:31.079 --> 01:10:33.380 I looked at chat GPT and I was like give me some 01:10:33.380 --> 01:10:36.420 things that straight men do That seemed really 01:10:36.420 --> 01:10:39.460 gay and then we can justify what it really is 01:10:39.460 --> 01:10:43.819 So the first one was Brazilian jujitsu and I 01:10:43.819 --> 01:10:48.420 love that she wrote BJJ and What well there you 01:10:48.420 --> 01:10:52.550 go and the ploy of it was I'm just learning self 01:10:52.550 --> 01:10:57.670 defense. But the reality of it is, what do we 01:10:57.670 --> 01:11:01.510 think? Welcome into my welcome into my asshole. 01:11:03.890 --> 01:11:06.470 My jujitsu is a lot of grabs and a lot of time. 01:11:06.689 --> 01:11:09.390 And my thing was basically we get to pay a monthly 01:11:09.390 --> 01:11:13.710 subscription to wear cute matching pajamas and 01:11:13.710 --> 01:11:19.529 snuggle very aggressively. And having been in 01:11:19.529 --> 01:11:22.430 martial arts at certain points in my life, I 01:11:22.430 --> 01:11:26.810 can verify that you do wear a jockstrap. No ass. 01:11:27.170 --> 01:11:28.729 And think about how many times a man's thighs 01:11:28.729 --> 01:11:31.289 get to be wrapped around you. And that gi is 01:11:31.289 --> 01:11:32.289 only held on by that belt. I like to think about 01:11:32.289 --> 01:11:36.789 that. I love to think about that. I love to lick 01:11:36.789 --> 01:11:38.609 a lemon lollipop with Lilyhammer. Lollipop and 01:11:38.609 --> 01:11:42.310 Lilyhammer. I just have to grab my bro's crotch 01:11:42.310 --> 01:11:45.069 to put him down on my hold during my jiu -jitsu 01:11:45.069 --> 01:11:49.609 Brazilian style like the wax, right? So I thought 01:11:49.609 --> 01:11:51.470 you were gonna say Brazilian waxes. I was like, 01:11:51.470 --> 01:11:55.090 that's it So that's what Brazilian jiu -jitsu 01:11:55.090 --> 01:12:00.409 really is The next one I put bodybuilding competitions, 01:12:00.529 --> 01:12:04.890 which the ploy of it was I'm showcasing my peak 01:12:04.890 --> 01:12:10.170 physical form What do we think? I think I hate 01:12:10.170 --> 01:12:12.170 my testicles and want them to go away forever 01:12:12.170 --> 01:12:15.770 while also getting really tan Honestly anybody 01:12:15.770 --> 01:12:18.729 who works out will tell you they really want 01:12:18.729 --> 01:12:21.569 to see everybody else's body I mean that that's 01:12:21.569 --> 01:12:24.189 just it man like this is the simple gayest thing 01:12:24.189 --> 01:12:26.689 like they just want to be looked at and look 01:12:26.689 --> 01:12:30.789 at people For me, it's I get the opportunity 01:12:30.789 --> 01:12:33.409 to stand in front of people in a silky g -string 01:12:33.409 --> 01:12:36.869 and cover myself in bronze glitter Yeah, but 01:12:36.869 --> 01:12:38.810 you do that already And they kick you out of 01:12:38.810 --> 01:12:41.430 Chili's. Yeah, that's why I call myself a bodybuilder. 01:12:42.449 --> 01:12:43.890 You're building something. And I'm like, but 01:12:43.890 --> 01:12:48.050 I'm a bodybuilder. And I'm building with the 01:12:48.050 --> 01:12:50.369 trio. They're like, sir, this is the Lego store. 01:12:50.789 --> 01:12:53.949 Please, please get out. Oh my god. He's just 01:12:53.949 --> 01:12:56.069 back there with the Southwest Egg Rolls making 01:12:56.069 --> 01:12:59.850 a tower. Even the Lego store scaring all the 01:12:59.850 --> 01:13:02.710 children. They say to eat and I'm just getting 01:13:02.710 --> 01:13:06.810 real weird. That's called being a gamer sir, 01:13:06.930 --> 01:13:09.729 not a bodybuilder. I'm building something on 01:13:09.729 --> 01:13:14.949 my body. That sells. I said I wouldn't be mean 01:13:14.949 --> 01:13:18.369 the rest of this episode. That's right. You you 01:13:18.369 --> 01:13:29.609 did that to yourself, bitch. Oh And then we did 01:13:29.609 --> 01:13:32.050 talk about this earlier but number three frat 01:13:32.050 --> 01:13:34.810 house and hazings the ploy is we're building 01:13:34.810 --> 01:13:40.289 brotherhood and character We're building butt 01:13:40.289 --> 01:13:43.829 sex you want to see everybody's bodies. Yeah, 01:13:43.829 --> 01:13:47.350 the reality is We're going to bully the weakest 01:13:47.350 --> 01:13:50.810 guy and literally sexually assault him because 01:13:50.810 --> 01:13:53.409 correct. It's the only way we can do it and nobody 01:13:53.409 --> 01:13:55.649 will talk about it. I'm going to take out all 01:13:55.649 --> 01:13:58.270 my gay feelings on this one unsuspecting person. 01:13:58.270 --> 01:14:00.210 I'm going to take out all my gay feelings and 01:14:00.210 --> 01:14:04.930 all my self shame. On this one weaker person, 01:14:05.670 --> 01:14:11.010 that's just that's just grinder. Oh, OK, well. 01:14:12.609 --> 01:14:19.250 Hold on. I'm kidding. Number four, right. Number 01:14:19.250 --> 01:14:25.670 four, professional wrestling. This is like bodybuilding 01:14:25.670 --> 01:14:27.989 to me. This is the same thing. I love the ploy 01:14:27.989 --> 01:14:30.569 that it wrote down. It's a high octane soap opera 01:14:30.569 --> 01:14:36.310 for men. What is our reality for it? Okay. So 01:14:36.310 --> 01:14:40.470 I'm stealing this from someone on dropout .tv. 01:14:40.810 --> 01:14:46.350 But professional wrestling is drag. Oh, that's 01:14:46.350 --> 01:14:49.229 not a bad thought. I mean, because they love 01:14:49.229 --> 01:14:51.270 to dress up in weird outfits. It is 100 % drag. 01:14:51.550 --> 01:14:54.149 There is all the drama. There is all the sort 01:14:54.149 --> 01:14:57.449 of reality TV driven things. Everybody shows 01:14:57.449 --> 01:15:00.250 up as a persona. And they're basically performing 01:15:00.250 --> 01:15:04.310 a choreographed gymnastic. You think you think 01:15:04.310 --> 01:15:07.949 that Mick Foley co shows up as mankind and that's 01:15:07.949 --> 01:15:10.449 not drag Do you think that whatever the undertaker's 01:15:10.449 --> 01:15:12.869 real name is shows up as the undertaker and he's 01:15:12.869 --> 01:15:15.710 not being dragged up I mean, come on. Look at 01:15:15.710 --> 01:15:18.949 this guy. This is dry this man this man Joe Henry 01:15:18.949 --> 01:15:22.289 is currently like an Obsession in the community 01:15:22.289 --> 01:15:27.750 and he's a pro wrestler and man. He is fine 17 01:15:27.750 --> 01:15:29.890 eyes. Are you sharing your screen right now? 01:15:29.909 --> 01:15:37.060 Is that what's happening? Do I have to? Yes, 01:15:37.300 --> 01:15:43.859 Ric Flair. Jesus Christ. You tell me this isn't 01:15:43.859 --> 01:15:46.920 fucking drag. Look at this. Look at the pink 01:15:46.920 --> 01:15:50.380 and purple one. He's like a bodybuilder Liberace. 01:15:50.619 --> 01:15:53.140 This literally looks like ABBA in the 70s. I 01:15:53.140 --> 01:15:55.039 mean, that's not even the pink and purple one. 01:15:55.239 --> 01:15:57.119 The pink and purple one. Look at that shit. This 01:15:57.119 --> 01:16:01.060 is drag. These people are doing drag. Yep. My 01:16:01.060 --> 01:16:03.340 this is straight drag my dental hygienist that 01:16:03.340 --> 01:16:05.020 I was friends with she put me in her phone is 01:16:05.020 --> 01:16:10.539 Rick flair and I'm like you Okay Do you say it 01:16:10.539 --> 01:16:14.279 when you get a chair? I haven't seen her in forever 01:16:14.279 --> 01:16:16.260 and I miss her so much. I wish she would listen 01:16:16.260 --> 01:16:18.739 to the show and hear that What do you got dirty 01:16:18.739 --> 01:16:23.239 -ass teeth? Not anymore That means clean -ass 01:16:23.239 --> 01:16:27.739 teeth Number five. Oh, we also talked about this, 01:16:27.739 --> 01:16:30.460 the slap ass culture, which the ploy just means 01:16:30.460 --> 01:16:33.100 good hustle, bro. I'm real proud of you. What 01:16:33.100 --> 01:16:36.439 does it really mean? I want to touch your ass, 01:16:36.439 --> 01:16:39.600 bro. Yeah, because you can just say those words 01:16:39.600 --> 01:16:41.920 without the ass slap. It's also kind of that 01:16:41.920 --> 01:16:43.939 risky thing where it's like, I want to be a little 01:16:43.939 --> 01:16:46.600 bit gay with you in public, but this is the way 01:16:46.600 --> 01:16:49.520 I can like get by with it. And people won't be 01:16:49.520 --> 01:16:53.350 like, people won't be like. Whoa, how gay! They're 01:16:53.350 --> 01:16:55.909 just like, look at that guy supporting his teammate 01:16:55.909 --> 01:16:59.949 by just grabbing his ass. Except me. I'm the 01:16:59.949 --> 01:17:03.649 guy who's like, whoa, that's gay! Yeah. Me, I'm 01:17:03.649 --> 01:17:05.050 like, you're touching his butt. You're touching 01:17:05.050 --> 01:17:06.850 every guy's butt. I think you have a problem. 01:17:07.789 --> 01:17:09.270 That's a little gay. I'm just jealous. A little 01:17:09.270 --> 01:17:15.859 bit of a gay vibe, right? Yeah. Yeah. I'm not 01:17:15.859 --> 01:17:17.760 sure how much I really agree with this one, but 01:17:17.760 --> 01:17:20.319 I'll go along with it because it listed it. Military 01:17:20.319 --> 01:17:22.939 barracks life. The ploy were just disciplined 01:17:22.939 --> 01:17:27.720 fighting force. What do you think, Anthony? I 01:17:27.720 --> 01:17:30.460 never got to experience any gay sex in the military. 01:17:30.640 --> 01:17:34.520 I really wish I had, honestly. I've got some 01:17:34.520 --> 01:17:38.119 films I can recommend. Yeah, but it's not the 01:17:38.119 --> 01:17:42.020 same. Backdoor Sluts 9! No, literally, literally 01:17:42.020 --> 01:17:45.279 there's one called Deeper in the Brig. There's 01:17:45.279 --> 01:17:47.100 a scene I think I've talked about it before but 01:17:47.100 --> 01:17:49.840 there's a scene where this actor his name is 01:17:49.840 --> 01:17:53.720 Brock something he comes in and he goes Which 01:17:53.720 --> 01:17:56.720 which sailor has the warmest hole and they all 01:17:56.720 --> 01:17:57.979 pointed this guy that's getting like slammed 01:17:57.979 --> 01:18:00.859 by everybody and he goes Don't worry seaman. 01:18:00.859 --> 01:18:04.859 I'll be gentle at first and then he just rails 01:18:04.859 --> 01:18:11.119 him It's true cinema It's what we call cinema 01:18:11.119 --> 01:18:15.720 verity I always think of Family Guy whenever 01:18:15.720 --> 01:18:21.220 Quagmire's finding out about his dad. Like they're 01:18:21.220 --> 01:18:24.220 at the military ball, and he's like, your dad's 01:18:24.220 --> 01:18:27.180 the man you want in your hole. And they're all 01:18:27.180 --> 01:18:32.800 very gay, sexually innuendos. Very airplane humor. 01:18:32.939 --> 01:18:38.720 Yeah, pretty much. This one I would say, all 01:18:38.720 --> 01:18:40.859 these guys were like, I just want to be in a 01:18:40.859 --> 01:18:43.500 close -knit area where we can all be nude together 01:18:43.500 --> 01:18:47.680 but also I can technically justify it because 01:18:47.680 --> 01:18:50.520 like how on earth are we going to have thousands 01:18:50.520 --> 01:18:52.380 and thousands of men in their own private little 01:18:52.380 --> 01:18:56.560 rooms I just don't like I guess I must and I 01:18:56.560 --> 01:18:59.060 know it was happening in different spaces like 01:18:59.060 --> 01:19:02.699 I know it was in retrospect but like but you 01:19:02.699 --> 01:19:05.100 were talking about because don't ask don't tell 01:19:05.100 --> 01:19:08.159 I yeah I was a little concerned for my own safety 01:19:08.159 --> 01:19:09.899 honestly because there were people who were very 01:19:09.899 --> 01:19:15.119 vocally like Yeah, but those shared showers. 01:19:15.260 --> 01:19:18.779 That's pretty cool. That's Pretty cool, bro. 01:19:18.899 --> 01:19:22.579 That's pretty cool Number seven golf trips also 01:19:22.579 --> 01:19:25.739 known as boys weekend deploy. I need to work 01:19:25.739 --> 01:19:30.659 on my swing for me I just need an excuse to get 01:19:30.659 --> 01:19:34.859 the fuck away from my wife and Be with men club 01:19:34.859 --> 01:19:38.520 some balls with my boy. Yeah You're the one who 01:19:38.520 --> 01:19:41.439 had the railing of the golf cart up your ass 01:19:43.560 --> 01:19:45.560 And that was on a weekday. His robust hole wouldn't 01:19:45.560 --> 01:19:48.260 let it in. That was on a weekday. I was single 01:19:48.260 --> 01:19:51.920 at the time, too. Talk about bone shaking, like 01:19:51.920 --> 01:19:55.640 those velocipedes. My god. That was a funny day, 01:19:56.720 --> 01:19:59.359 but I also have PTSD from just squeezing my ass 01:19:59.359 --> 01:20:02.460 cheeks around that bar. That's what I've heard. 01:20:02.659 --> 01:20:05.380 And how was the golf trip? Oh, fine, also. Boys' 01:20:05.479 --> 01:20:08.279 time's great. So this is kind of the... I put 01:20:08.279 --> 01:20:09.979 this in the same realm as like a hunting weekend 01:20:09.979 --> 01:20:12.899 where it's like they go off to... I think a hunting 01:20:12.899 --> 01:20:15.399 weekend or like kind of like brokeback mountain 01:20:15.399 --> 01:20:17.500 that kind of idea is more gay than a golf trip 01:20:17.500 --> 01:20:19.939 because golf trip is more like They're just getting 01:20:19.939 --> 01:20:22.239 away from their wives for maybe a weekend. It's 01:20:22.239 --> 01:20:25.119 it's less gay than I think a hunting Yeah, but 01:20:25.119 --> 01:20:26.720 they'll give you that's how I have it in my mind 01:20:26.720 --> 01:20:28.880 a little bit off the course Oh, no, my ball went 01:20:28.880 --> 01:20:31.060 into the rough. Oh, we got to go about there 01:20:31.060 --> 01:20:33.779 and get it seen I think golfing is gayer than 01:20:33.779 --> 01:20:35.880 hunting because golfing you have to wear prettier 01:20:35.880 --> 01:20:39.399 outfits That's true. I mean they are bright colored 01:20:39.399 --> 01:20:41.000 hunting you have to wear bright colored stuff 01:20:42.210 --> 01:20:44.229 In the woods you can just have sex out there. 01:20:44.350 --> 01:20:46.949 Yeah. Yeah trail cams, too I guess it's because 01:20:46.949 --> 01:20:48.689 I know so many hunters and I'm just like that 01:20:48.689 --> 01:20:50.689 doesn't seem like it fits for them I know more 01:20:50.689 --> 01:20:53.289 golfers that I'm like Well, that's what you need 01:20:53.289 --> 01:20:55.270 that VCR head cleaner for then it will fit no 01:20:55.270 --> 01:20:59.210 problem. Yeah And I think I said I wouldn't say 01:20:59.210 --> 01:21:03.289 anything That's what you get for ruining everything 01:21:03.289 --> 01:21:10.359 for yourself Number eight the sauna or steam 01:21:10.359 --> 01:21:12.899 room and the ploy is I'm just detoxing my pores 01:21:12.899 --> 01:21:16.500 after a workout This is so fucking gay in the 01:21:16.500 --> 01:21:19.500 sauna slash steam room. So gay. It's just basically 01:21:19.500 --> 01:21:24.119 a Cloudy way to hook up It was it was the original 01:21:24.119 --> 01:21:27.579 grinder Definitely more so if it's like a nude 01:21:27.579 --> 01:21:31.159 one with just towels. Yep, or that's the one 01:21:31.159 --> 01:21:33.800 for a hundred percent Like just some guy in there 01:21:33.800 --> 01:21:36.960 just fucking junk out. Yeah That's because you 01:21:36.960 --> 01:21:38.739 want to show your junk to other people. You're 01:21:38.739 --> 01:21:40.840 yeah, you're there for mm -hmm. Yeah, you know 01:21:40.840 --> 01:21:42.300 what? We all know what's happening cuz I love 01:21:42.300 --> 01:21:44.819 when they're just like I just love spreading 01:21:44.819 --> 01:21:47.300 out in this room with other men and I'm like 01:21:47.300 --> 01:21:50.079 you Don't actually have to expose yourself to 01:21:50.079 --> 01:21:52.880 also do that same thing Yeah, you can keep the 01:21:52.880 --> 01:21:54.819 towel over you literally just drape a towel over 01:21:54.819 --> 01:21:58.100 you. You're still gonna get the same effect Mm 01:21:58.100 --> 01:22:00.520 -hmm. Everything's getting Steve. Well, no, they're 01:22:00.520 --> 01:22:02.279 not gonna get the same. No, you're not getting 01:22:02.279 --> 01:22:07.520 the same showing your junk to people Number nine, 01:22:07.960 --> 01:22:10.739 a high -stakes poker night. Deploy, it's about 01:22:10.739 --> 01:22:14.859 strategy and gambling. And for me, I'm just like, 01:22:15.220 --> 01:22:18.779 it's strip poker. It's strip poker. It's another 01:22:18.779 --> 01:22:20.380 way to get nude around each other. Video gaming. 01:22:21.119 --> 01:22:23.699 Video games too. Video game night. Strip Mario 01:22:23.699 --> 01:22:27.680 Kart is an interesting concept that has been 01:22:27.680 --> 01:22:31.000 a thing that's been happening. I love AI's reality. 01:22:31.180 --> 01:22:33.460 It's also a way to stare intensely into each 01:22:33.460 --> 01:22:41.539 other's eyes. Lastly number 10 fantasy football 01:22:41.539 --> 01:22:45.199 deploy. I'm a statistical genius managing a roster 01:22:45.199 --> 01:22:50.640 This one feels like straight culture to me this 01:22:50.640 --> 01:22:56.039 one I I Lean into the fact that they are obsessing 01:22:56.039 --> 01:22:59.220 Over specific men and so they want a collection 01:22:59.220 --> 01:23:02.739 of men to just constantly follow Okay, you know 01:23:02.739 --> 01:23:05.359 what? You're right. That is where I sort of like 01:23:05.359 --> 01:23:06.859 that is where I'm going with fantasy football. 01:23:06.939 --> 01:23:10.140 It is their dream men. It's their little harem. 01:23:10.460 --> 01:23:14.880 Yeah, okay. Okay. Okay, I'm there. Okay. Okay. 01:23:15.159 --> 01:23:18.399 I'm really glad. And then and then and then whenever 01:23:18.399 --> 01:23:20.500 they don't do well, it's kind of like a breakup. 01:23:21.479 --> 01:23:23.300 And so you kind of watch them go through like 01:23:23.300 --> 01:23:25.180 this emotional roller coaster. They're like, 01:23:25.239 --> 01:23:30.670 Man, he like, fucked me and I'm just like, He 01:23:30.670 --> 01:23:37.289 was about to do that joke. Ray, fuck me. Ray, 01:23:37.390 --> 01:23:42.270 fuck me. Oh, come on, man. Give me a yeast infection. 01:23:45.310 --> 01:23:47.770 Anyways, yeah, so. Do you guys want to play some 01:23:47.770 --> 01:23:52.090 fantasy football after this? No. No. I was just 01:23:52.090 --> 01:23:54.350 going to do it with porn stars, though. I just 01:23:54.350 --> 01:23:57.829 do it real, man. There you go. But I do think 01:23:57.829 --> 01:24:00.810 I hear the music coming back on and I don't know 01:24:00.810 --> 01:24:04.909 what's some super straight music Tim McGraw Creed 01:24:04.909 --> 01:24:10.109 you shove a boot up their ass Try that in a small 01:24:10.109 --> 01:24:12.930 town. I don't know. You know what? It's Wheeler 01:24:12.930 --> 01:24:15.729 Walker, Jr. Take me back to God's country. Go 01:24:15.729 --> 01:24:20.350 call our hotline real quick at 405 -999 -2242 01:24:20.350 --> 01:24:22.750 and leave a voicemail for Jay to ignore for a 01:24:22.750 --> 01:24:27.340 week I know the phone's dead, because it hasn't 01:24:27.340 --> 01:24:30.859 been plugged in for days, so sorry. And Beardos, 01:24:31.100 --> 01:24:33.000 Jay got his hand stuck in the jar of oil meant 01:24:33.000 --> 01:24:35.239 for the Turkish oil wrestlers again, so we'd 01:24:35.239 --> 01:24:37.819 better go. If you'd like to help us out, go and 01:24:37.819 --> 01:24:39.640 subscribe to the podcast so you can get reminders 01:24:39.640 --> 01:24:42.260 every Sunday when we release a new episode. We 01:24:42.260 --> 01:24:44.319 also post frequent updates on our social media 01:24:44.319 --> 01:24:46.159 sites for any sundries that we add to the market. 01:24:46.919 --> 01:24:49.000 And don't forget to rate us 5 stars and leave 01:24:49.000 --> 01:24:51.079 a review. Those reviews are what get us surrounded 01:24:51.079 --> 01:24:53.779 by more Turkish oil wrestlers like you. And if 01:24:53.779 --> 01:24:56.500 just each one of you should send me some Turkish 01:24:56.500 --> 01:24:58.739 oil wrestling in a video, that would be pretty 01:24:58.739 --> 01:25:02.560 cool. Bruh, I'm gonna slap your ass right over 01:25:02.560 --> 01:25:07.279 to our socials. So you can do a good job at checking 01:25:07.279 --> 01:25:17.069 them out. Hold on. I'm winding up. For the hint. 01:25:18.090 --> 01:25:24.069 Like Brenda. Oh, yeah. And then I want you to 01:25:24.069 --> 01:25:26.529 hop over to our website, where you can find the 01:25:26.529 --> 01:25:32.510 new three -sided ball diamond. And go to Beards 01:25:32.510 --> 01:25:35.829 and Sundries. Jay's is one -sided. Wow, bro. 01:25:36.310 --> 01:25:38.850 And lastly, email us at beardsandsundries at 01:25:38.850 --> 01:25:41.750 gmail .com so I might read it out on the show, 01:25:41.930 --> 01:25:44.449 if I read it. I'm getting forgetful these days. 01:25:46.819 --> 01:25:49.039 Well, Beardos, don't forget to check your Easter 01:25:49.039 --> 01:25:52.300 baskets for Jay's other ball this happy Easter 01:25:52.300 --> 01:25:57.039 Sunday. Oh my god, yes! Jay's a couple legs short. 01:25:57.340 --> 01:26:00.399 But from the three of us deaf homo shop quirks 01:26:00.399 --> 01:26:02.560 here at the Beards and Sundries Market, make 01:26:02.560 --> 01:26:07.880 sure to... Love yourself, bro! Because we already 01:26:07.880 --> 01:26:10.039 loved you while you were passed out last night. 01:26:10.560 --> 01:26:22.840 Bye, Beardos! Jay, I say this with all the love 01:26:22.840 --> 01:26:25.279 in the world. You know I love you so much. What 01:26:25.279 --> 01:26:26.760 the fuck's wrong with your nose?