WEBVTT

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Just because you're flacid. It feels so good.

00:00:06.660 --> 00:00:08.380
On that note. So that's a pretty good segue.

00:00:08.900 --> 00:00:14.419
Ready for a voicemail? Yeah. Hi, is this B &S

00:00:14.419 --> 00:00:18.320
pizza? I hope so, because I'm hungry. I would

00:00:18.320 --> 00:00:21.500
like to order three foot long pizzas, because

00:00:21.500 --> 00:00:26.339
I'm so hungry. Can I have one with banana peppers?

00:00:26.500 --> 00:00:30.800
Because I'm hungry. One with a big old sausage

00:00:30.800 --> 00:00:34.719
on it because I'm so hungry and one with I know

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you won't believe this but I have one Meatball

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just one with extra cream, please Anyways, please

00:00:42.820 --> 00:00:45.619
deliver it to me as soon as possible. I'm so

00:00:45.619 --> 00:00:49.439
hungry Anyways, this is Anthony Willie at Riverside

00:00:49.439 --> 00:00:51.880
Parkway here in Tulsa, Oklahoma. Thanks and have

00:00:51.880 --> 00:00:58.109
a great day Wait Cannot be his real name because

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that's my name almost Also what if it's your

00:01:04.790 --> 00:01:11.230
job What's so funny is I talked about that video

00:01:11.230 --> 00:01:13.250
with all my friends on the cruise and so the

00:01:13.250 --> 00:01:15.810
entire cruise I was like guys I wish dinner would

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show up cuz I'm hungry and we were all just being

00:01:18.730 --> 00:01:25.989
like I'm so hungry Was that Jodie who was that

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Uh... No, it didn't sound like Jodie. I was like,

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that was just a phone number that called in.

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But it's from Phoenix. Who do we know in Phoenix?

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I know, I was like, do we know anybody in Phoenix?

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Nick was in Phoenix, but I don't think he was

00:01:37.180 --> 00:01:45.359
in the show. Alex? He was in the intro. Oh, the

00:01:45.359 --> 00:01:58.670
old intro. Ah! The delicate, but powerful Princess

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Dre is... And our sorcerer, with a little flair,

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Anthony! You get Season 8 of Beards and Zetras!

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Dre is... BANGIN' tips! I actually get an animation

00:02:28.319 --> 00:02:31.159
where it's just a brick wall and like you use

00:02:31.159 --> 00:02:35.120
your tits to bash it open. You are social media

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marketing at its finest. You need a breastplate

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like the dry queens wear. That's what that is.

00:02:40.340 --> 00:02:43.539
That's how they're so banging. Yeah, that's it.

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Oh, and welcome back. Hi. Hello. Welcome back

00:02:49.139 --> 00:02:51.900
to season eight level nine of Beards and Sundries.

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Level 9. That's right, guys, it is time for another

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lunch break here at Beards and Sundries, the

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shop where three gay men with beards do inventory

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on a new sundry in each episode. My name is Jay,

00:03:03.860 --> 00:03:12.219
and pull out the whips, boys! It's gonna be sexy

00:03:12.219 --> 00:03:22.210
time! Yeah, that's my Dom. His name is Jay. Don't

00:03:22.210 --> 00:03:27.090
mind him. Don't worry. I bought the annal beads.

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Now I'm just gonna fit this spider gag in you

00:03:31.610 --> 00:03:38.389
right there. I want you to get on your knees.

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This isn't that far of a reach. This is the trickiest

00:03:44.250 --> 00:03:51.770
part. Yeah, this happened last week. Yeah. Oh

00:03:51.770 --> 00:03:55.090
my god, I'm Anthony and it turns out my kink

00:03:55.090 --> 00:03:57.469
has actually been Christian shamed the whole

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time. The boner I just got for the shame. I know.

00:04:03.310 --> 00:04:09.990
It's Adam and Eve not Adam and Steve. My god,

00:04:10.169 --> 00:04:14.460
unbuckle that Bible belt. Daddy! Oh fuck, I love

00:04:14.460 --> 00:04:16.279
this episode already! I want to take that body

00:04:16.279 --> 00:04:21.040
of Christ. What part of the body is this one?

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Body of Christ. And I'm Joe, and I once had a

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friend in college who used his nipple clamps

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to hold bags of chips closed in his pantry. And

00:04:33.339 --> 00:04:36.579
that means that today's hungry item is kinks

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and the shame associated with them. Beardos,

00:04:40.879 --> 00:04:43.420
white people are stupid, but no matter what your

00:04:43.420 --> 00:04:45.620
skin color, we all have things that we are into.

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Sometimes these things can come under scrutiny,

00:04:48.379 --> 00:04:50.620
however, so today we're going to chat about it.

00:04:51.220 --> 00:04:52.839
After the break, we're going to grab a shopping

00:04:52.839 --> 00:04:54.720
cart and stroll around the market checking out

00:04:54.720 --> 00:04:57.800
the latest stock. Later on, we've got some Beardo

00:04:57.800 --> 00:05:00.740
submitted sundries that listen and don't judge.

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And then for game time, I have a fun trivia game

00:05:03.860 --> 00:05:07.060
that may awaken something in you. But before

00:05:07.060 --> 00:05:09.519
we open that weird little box in the back of

00:05:09.519 --> 00:05:12.279
the breakroom closet, how about this week's voicemail?

00:05:13.459 --> 00:05:17.500
Who are you? Who are you? How do you know where

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we are? We've never said where we live before.

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What if it's Anthony from Tulsa? What if it really

00:05:22.790 --> 00:05:25.949
is Anthony Willie from Tulsa on Riverside Parkway

00:05:25.949 --> 00:05:35.149
like Riverside a lot that's what I've been saying

00:05:35.149 --> 00:05:37.829
like I feel like this is a Play on things that

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we've been doing. I don't know what I talk about

00:05:39.870 --> 00:05:43.370
on this show. So wait a minute What if it's somebody

00:05:43.370 --> 00:05:46.769
like spoofing you and they're gonna keep calling

00:05:46.769 --> 00:05:49.620
in for all the weird things you do Oh, that'd

00:05:49.620 --> 00:05:51.439
be awesome. I would love that. That would be

00:05:51.439 --> 00:05:54.939
kind of cool. Please do that. It's like you have

00:05:54.939 --> 00:05:57.439
a stalker, but it's kind of entertaining. It's

00:05:57.439 --> 00:06:01.300
very entertaining. Stop, boy. Please. Stop. Oh,

00:06:01.399 --> 00:06:03.019
that's it. We've been spelling it wrong the whole

00:06:03.019 --> 00:06:09.420
time. Oh, yeah. And then here I am like, save

00:06:09.420 --> 00:06:11.819
it, fatty horse. I'm not buying any Stockholm

00:06:11.819 --> 00:06:17.079
syndrome today. Because you're empathizing with

00:06:17.079 --> 00:06:19.540
your stalker. Kind of their voice kind of sounded

00:06:19.540 --> 00:06:22.319
like Derek, but I know it wasn't Derek. It's

00:06:22.319 --> 00:06:24.800
not Derek. I recognize Derek's voice I recognize

00:06:24.800 --> 00:06:29.300
a few people's voices. Yeah, I Will tell you

00:06:29.300 --> 00:06:36.759
mystery person. I'm also very hungry I Will devour

00:06:36.759 --> 00:06:45.339
that one ball pizza Special about you It's almost

00:06:45.339 --> 00:06:47.180
like he listens to the show because I talk about

00:06:47.180 --> 00:06:49.579
it all the time. He says I have one nut and I

00:06:49.579 --> 00:06:56.079
cream a lot. Thank you for noticing. Such volume.

00:07:03.379 --> 00:07:08.620
Just parts falling out the front. A throwback

00:07:08.620 --> 00:07:14.170
to an old episode. That's hot. So hot Tasty,

00:07:14.170 --> 00:07:16.649
but thanks for the voicemail. That was fun. Yes.

00:07:16.750 --> 00:07:19.110
Thank you. Yes. Thank you It's nice know who

00:07:19.110 --> 00:07:20.870
you are. It was like it's nice to have these

00:07:20.870 --> 00:07:24.730
again. Oh No, yeah, we're trying to like suss

00:07:24.730 --> 00:07:26.889
out who you are based on your phone number, but

00:07:26.889 --> 00:07:30.470
we're really bad. I Left it. I left it in the

00:07:30.470 --> 00:07:35.740
intro so everyone could call you I'm not editing

00:07:35.740 --> 00:07:38.199
this week, so that might be true. I'm putting

00:07:38.199 --> 00:07:40.879
you on my list of job references. I was like,

00:07:41.220 --> 00:07:43.199
Jay does get a little distracted sometimes while

00:07:43.199 --> 00:07:46.980
editing and misses something, surely. I'm going

00:07:46.980 --> 00:07:49.439
to laugh my ass off if you accidentally leave

00:07:49.439 --> 00:07:55.240
it in. Oh, I've heard that before. Jay, pull

00:07:55.240 --> 00:07:59.910
it out. I will say when it's at the beginning

00:07:59.910 --> 00:08:01.970
of the episode. I'm really focused, but you know

00:08:01.970 --> 00:08:05.110
later on I get really well When I was editing

00:08:05.110 --> 00:08:07.790
when do you were get out I? Discovered that I

00:08:07.790 --> 00:08:10.069
can edit in Riverside at one and a half times

00:08:10.069 --> 00:08:14.269
speed. Oh, yeah, that makes I was like oh hell

00:08:14.269 --> 00:08:20.329
yeah That makes a big difference um Also, I was

00:08:20.329 --> 00:08:22.529
telling Joe I'm gonna need you to edit in a couple

00:08:22.529 --> 00:08:25.550
weeks. That's right the weekend after his birthday

00:08:26.000 --> 00:08:29.420
Yeah, that's more than okay. Yeah, I'm going

00:08:29.420 --> 00:08:33.600
to Colorado Oh good for you. Yeah, it's having

00:08:33.600 --> 00:08:38.980
a little long week in there By yourself or with

00:08:38.980 --> 00:08:55.029
your left hand Go on! Okay, well anyways, Joe,

00:08:55.110 --> 00:08:57.990
do you think I can find a cigar box full of clothespins

00:08:57.990 --> 00:09:00.710
that I use for nefarious purposes in aisle four?

00:09:01.589 --> 00:09:04.070
Nefarious? Absolutely. But, if you guys are new

00:09:04.070 --> 00:09:05.690
to the show and you're wondering just what the

00:09:05.690 --> 00:09:08.350
hell a sundry is, the term comes from an old

00:09:08.350 --> 00:09:10.769
English word meaning odds and ends. Now these

00:09:10.769 --> 00:09:12.950
days it's used mainly in retail as a way to group

00:09:12.950 --> 00:09:14.669
together items that don't typically have a group

00:09:14.669 --> 00:09:18.009
of their own. So, as three very sex -positive

00:09:18.009 --> 00:09:20.370
gay men with beards, we are using the term to

00:09:20.370 --> 00:09:22.049
group together the wide range of topics that

00:09:22.049 --> 00:09:33.750
we cover. Oh my god, I hate that. Look out, baby

00:09:33.750 --> 00:09:37.190
Brent! Uh -oh! I know it's not what Jay is doing

00:09:37.190 --> 00:09:41.830
in the bedroom, but I want to believe. He's not

00:09:41.830 --> 00:09:43.990
denying it. It's kind of my favorite persona

00:09:43.990 --> 00:09:47.669
for the show. I know, I love it. Dainty Dom.

00:09:49.070 --> 00:09:54.740
Dainty Dom. That sounds like a gay bar. Oh my

00:09:54.740 --> 00:09:59.360
god, that's my new bar idea. The Dainty Dom.

00:09:59.379 --> 00:10:02.200
Throw it on the pile. The Dainty Dom. It kind

00:10:02.200 --> 00:10:05.419
of sounds like, like a, I don't know, a coastal

00:10:05.419 --> 00:10:07.860
terrible bar that you'd see a bunch of old ugly

00:10:07.860 --> 00:10:10.159
pirates at. It sounds like for some reason the

00:10:10.159 --> 00:10:15.080
Dainty Dom. This sounds like a musical with Matthew

00:10:15.080 --> 00:10:17.620
Broderick is what it sounds like. Oh, yeah, it

00:10:17.620 --> 00:10:20.740
really does. John Reilly, don't you fucking steal

00:10:20.740 --> 00:10:26.620
my idea? He will kill you. I know he will. Wait,

00:10:26.679 --> 00:10:28.480
John, I've watched Anthony do it before. I've

00:10:28.480 --> 00:10:31.600
witnessed so much in my life. Oh, yeah, that

00:10:31.600 --> 00:10:33.720
was a given. He'll put you in the gas chamber.

00:10:34.500 --> 00:10:37.019
Every time he does it, I'm like, Anthony, again?

00:10:38.730 --> 00:10:41.129
I already have so much trauma from the previous

00:10:41.129 --> 00:10:42.669
movie. And then it cuts to me, and I'm covered

00:10:42.669 --> 00:10:45.029
in blood and gore, and I go, whoopsie. Whoa.

00:10:45.909 --> 00:10:47.570
And then it does the little zoom out thing, like

00:10:47.570 --> 00:10:48.750
in Looney Tunes, where you're in the circle.

00:10:50.350 --> 00:10:53.769
It does the, what is the Debbie Downer noise?

00:10:55.529 --> 00:10:57.769
And then Jay goes, yippity yippity yippity, that's

00:10:57.769 --> 00:11:03.019
all, folks. And then Joe's like, you know the

00:11:03.019 --> 00:11:11.440
leading cause of death And he starts reading,

00:11:11.440 --> 00:11:18.600
you know reviews from crumble cookies Dope right

00:11:18.600 --> 00:11:21.279
now, uh, I didn't get to eat dinner before we

00:11:21.279 --> 00:11:23.580
started this I did actually have a Sweet tooth

00:11:23.580 --> 00:11:25.320
craving this weekend and I don't live close to

00:11:25.320 --> 00:11:29.240
a crumble, but I live very close to an insomnia

00:11:30.670 --> 00:11:33.070
And so there was my little gay ass running down

00:11:33.070 --> 00:11:35.750
in the cold to pick up a box of insomnia cookies.

00:11:35.909 --> 00:11:48.009
Wait, hold on. Little? Little. Hey! What'd you

00:11:48.009 --> 00:11:51.570
get from insomnia? I always do - God, this makes

00:11:51.570 --> 00:11:53.549
me sound fat. I always do the box of - Speaking

00:11:53.549 --> 00:11:55.850
of your ass, what'd you get from insomnia cookies?

00:11:59.679 --> 00:12:01.720
And then I just like get a mix of them. So I'll

00:12:01.720 --> 00:12:03.299
be like, oh, what's the special? That sounds

00:12:03.299 --> 00:12:05.159
good. I'll do one or two of those. And then I'm

00:12:05.159 --> 00:12:08.340
like, one sugar, one snickerdoodle, one M &M.

00:12:08.340 --> 00:12:12.220
And then I'm like, 40 peanut butter. Because

00:12:12.220 --> 00:12:14.419
I love peanut butter cookies. I'm a peanut butter

00:12:14.419 --> 00:12:16.879
freak. I like a peanut butter cookie. It's weird

00:12:16.879 --> 00:12:19.440
because like, I don't go nuts for donuts about

00:12:19.440 --> 00:12:21.159
peanut butter and a lot of things, but cookies

00:12:21.159 --> 00:12:24.379
and Reese's cups. I think because people like

00:12:24.379 --> 00:12:26.379
peanut butter, they do too much with it and try

00:12:26.379 --> 00:12:28.259
and like invent all these recipes. And I'm like,

00:12:28.259 --> 00:12:32.940
no. No, be simple alone. Put it on bread. Put

00:12:32.940 --> 00:12:36.600
it on in cookies. Don't do too much with it or

00:12:36.600 --> 00:12:39.539
put it in chocolate and call it a Reese's. And

00:12:39.539 --> 00:12:43.360
honestly, that is a good segue to kink. It is

00:12:43.360 --> 00:12:48.240
just peanut butter is my food kink. I okay, let's

00:12:48.240 --> 00:12:51.919
talk about food in the bedroom for a second.

00:12:52.519 --> 00:12:56.580
Yes. We don't do it. I never really done it.

00:12:56.580 --> 00:12:58.580
I think I've done it before with other people,

00:12:58.580 --> 00:13:01.059
but like I don't want to clean it up into it

00:13:01.059 --> 00:13:03.500
Yeah, I don't want to clean it up. I already

00:13:03.500 --> 00:13:07.080
have to clean up enough and like what's the whipped

00:13:07.080 --> 00:13:10.539
cream is cold? I don't know. I think it's like

00:13:10.539 --> 00:13:12.899
licking it off. I guess yeah, and it's something

00:13:12.899 --> 00:13:16.440
flavorful to lick off but the thing is is If

00:13:16.440 --> 00:13:18.419
you're doing anything with sugar in it, then

00:13:18.419 --> 00:13:20.980
you're gonna just have like weird sticky spots

00:13:21.210 --> 00:13:23.450
Mm -hmm, and I think about that with chocolate

00:13:23.450 --> 00:13:25.710
so clearly in the bedroom. I'm gonna have to

00:13:25.710 --> 00:13:35.470
be savory and do like pork chops and I'm not

00:13:35.470 --> 00:13:38.289
gonna cut you with the knife. Oh, sorry. Oh,

00:13:38.289 --> 00:13:40.389
you've got a plastic knife. Oh, let me know what's

00:13:40.389 --> 00:13:51.100
too hard. Oh Tomahawk steaks out Yeah, I food

00:13:51.100 --> 00:13:54.279
in the bedroom just it's does not entice me I'm

00:13:54.279 --> 00:13:56.620
not going to say that I'll be against it so much

00:13:56.620 --> 00:13:59.440
that I won't do it because if I'm with someone

00:13:59.440 --> 00:14:02.159
that wants to yeah that's something I'll be like

00:14:02.159 --> 00:14:06.019
cool if you like I'll do it for you I'm not eager

00:14:06.019 --> 00:14:10.000
to be doing it I don't really get food in the

00:14:10.000 --> 00:14:13.940
bed non sexually much less sexually so like yeah

00:14:13.940 --> 00:14:16.539
it's rare for me to eat anything in the bed yeah

00:14:16.539 --> 00:14:19.980
crumbs girl the crumbs crumbs crumbs oh my god

00:14:21.279 --> 00:14:24.379
Now I would go to one of those things where like

00:14:24.379 --> 00:14:26.820
They serve sushi on someone's naked body and

00:14:26.820 --> 00:14:29.419
everyone like eats off of the body now that there

00:14:29.419 --> 00:14:32.539
are parameters like I would be Hopeful that there's

00:14:32.539 --> 00:14:34.759
no hair. I also don't have to clean up after

00:14:34.759 --> 00:14:36.960
that. I also don't have to clean up That's why

00:14:36.960 --> 00:14:38.679
you go to someone else's house and do it And

00:14:38.679 --> 00:14:40.620
I don't think that you're eating it off of them

00:14:40.620 --> 00:14:42.799
and then like sucking their dick you just eat

00:14:42.799 --> 00:14:47.759
the sushi I actually thought we had to pull the

00:14:47.759 --> 00:14:50.059
sushi off their dick. That's what filled the

00:14:50.059 --> 00:14:52.200
center of it. Oh, I thought you wrapped it up.

00:14:52.399 --> 00:14:55.159
It's just they wrap the dick in Norian rice.

00:14:56.620 --> 00:14:59.220
I'm like going down there and I'm like, is this

00:14:59.220 --> 00:15:04.440
spicy tuna? He has chopsticks and he's like dipping

00:15:04.440 --> 00:15:09.720
their cock head into like the wasabi. That would

00:15:09.720 --> 00:15:21.639
burn so much. So yeah food on the body. I would

00:15:21.639 --> 00:15:23.120
yeah, but you're right though. I would do the

00:15:23.120 --> 00:15:24.820
sushi thing, but I don't know I don't know about

00:15:24.820 --> 00:15:27.720
like I'll give I'll give you a good end of show

00:15:27.720 --> 00:15:29.740
clip here and probably an answer to a question

00:15:29.740 --> 00:15:31.860
that a few you freaks probably have had before

00:15:31.860 --> 00:15:34.360
I would eat macaroni and cheese off of someone's

00:15:34.360 --> 00:15:38.519
body I Would hate to be the body though that

00:15:38.519 --> 00:15:41.559
it's on yeah, well, I would hate that so much

00:15:41.559 --> 00:15:50.519
don't get your hopes up It would either be too

00:15:50.519 --> 00:15:56.100
hot or lukewarm, gross or cold, worse. Hey, you

00:15:56.100 --> 00:15:57.919
could like play into someone that has like the

00:15:57.919 --> 00:15:59.820
wax fetish because like they like hot stuff on

00:15:59.820 --> 00:16:04.399
their body. Oh my god. It's hot for a second

00:16:04.399 --> 00:16:07.820
and then it dissipates. That's the reason why

00:16:07.820 --> 00:16:12.039
wax play is a thing. I am buying you a fondue

00:16:12.039 --> 00:16:15.809
pot. so that way in the bedroom you can have

00:16:15.809 --> 00:16:18.830
a fondue pot of Velveeta cheese and Anthony is

00:16:18.830 --> 00:16:21.389
just like dribbling Velveeta on your back and

00:16:21.389 --> 00:16:23.629
you're like ooh but then he gets to lick it off

00:16:23.629 --> 00:16:26.009
of you so what a win win for all of you. Every

00:16:26.009 --> 00:16:28.830
time I think of like fondue or like a fountain

00:16:28.830 --> 00:16:30.610
of whatever I think of that video that Asian

00:16:30.610 --> 00:16:32.950
guy who's trying to put cheese nacho cheese through

00:16:32.950 --> 00:16:35.350
the fondue thing or the fountain and then like

00:16:35.350 --> 00:16:38.210
spins out of control and he's like I want you

00:16:38.210 --> 00:16:41.909
to know if you guys ever do that I I kinda wanna

00:16:41.909 --> 00:16:45.509
be the cuck chair. So that was what I was going

00:16:45.509 --> 00:16:47.649
to say. I was like, I feel like if that ever

00:16:47.649 --> 00:16:50.210
happens, Jay, you're going to get porn from us.

00:16:50.210 --> 00:16:54.269
I want to watch that. I would look for this.

00:16:54.590 --> 00:16:57.870
I would search for that. This feels like, this

00:16:57.870 --> 00:17:00.110
feels like a very niche moment in which we do

00:17:00.110 --> 00:17:04.930
have to send Jay the porn that we make. I do

00:17:04.930 --> 00:17:07.410
have several cease and desists from Kraft Foods.

00:17:07.529 --> 00:17:10.109
And I want you to know, I could support it. You

00:17:10.109 --> 00:17:12.269
are not going to be like shamed by me in any

00:17:12.269 --> 00:17:17.460
way. At all. I, listen. I don't know. You've

00:17:17.460 --> 00:17:19.440
got plenty of years to explore. This feels like

00:17:19.440 --> 00:17:22.099
a moment of I would be the person who is getting

00:17:22.099 --> 00:17:26.019
the craft dripped on them. Because Joe would

00:17:26.019 --> 00:17:28.039
be the one who would want to eat it off the most.

00:17:28.859 --> 00:17:33.180
And also, kinda like a little pain. Kinda like

00:17:33.180 --> 00:17:35.200
a little pain freak. Sounds like you're hyping

00:17:35.200 --> 00:17:44.400
yourself up for it. Anthony why are your nipples

00:17:44.400 --> 00:18:01.519
so pointy? Oh my god, I left the film on my nipples

00:18:01.519 --> 00:18:05.319
That's not even a reference to an old episode

00:18:05.319 --> 00:18:09.680
that's a reference to Like a teaser tick -tock.

00:18:09.680 --> 00:18:12.160
Yep, and you can't fight anymore because we have

00:18:12.160 --> 00:18:14.279
no tick -tock. Oh, yeah, that's right. We got

00:18:14.279 --> 00:18:17.359
rid of that Yeah, so shame on you ticky -tock.

00:18:17.359 --> 00:18:20.559
Well, you know who take those media Giants fucking

00:18:20.559 --> 00:18:22.819
suck. I mean turns out billionaires are bad.

00:18:24.059 --> 00:18:28.500
What? Okay, so not a food kink. I don't have

00:18:28.500 --> 00:18:34.140
that but I I Like a guy in uniform. Oh, yeah,

00:18:34.200 --> 00:18:36.930
but here's where the problem is kind of comes

00:18:36.930 --> 00:18:40.730
into it. It's not like me going, ooh, I specifically

00:18:40.730 --> 00:18:45.490
like a fireman uniform or like scrubs military.

00:18:45.750 --> 00:18:50.829
Exactly. I'm very much like, as long as you seem

00:18:50.829 --> 00:18:54.589
like a motivated person, you could be like the

00:18:54.589 --> 00:18:57.740
rug changing company. That's coming into businesses,

00:18:57.880 --> 00:19:00.000
pulling out rugs and cleaning them like, wow,

00:19:00.200 --> 00:19:03.859
that guy's real hot in his polo shirt. Jay's

00:19:03.859 --> 00:19:07.059
kink. Jay's kink is executive function. Jay's

00:19:07.059 --> 00:19:10.519
kink is motivated people, I think. There is this

00:19:10.519 --> 00:19:12.680
roofing company here in Tulsa called Conrad's

00:19:12.680 --> 00:19:15.720
Roofing, and the man who owns the company, Conrad

00:19:15.720 --> 00:19:18.779
himself, does all these billboards and ads in

00:19:18.779 --> 00:19:21.000
his really, really tight black polo with his

00:19:21.000 --> 00:19:24.319
arms everywhere. And I'm just like, Conrad? We

00:19:24.319 --> 00:19:26.700
drive by and give me a 127 point inspection.

00:19:27.559 --> 00:19:29.859
The best part about this is when we were dating

00:19:29.859 --> 00:19:33.460
Joel, Joel is a barber and somebody who worked

00:19:33.460 --> 00:19:36.740
in the same barbershop as Joel cut Conrad's hair.

00:19:36.940 --> 00:19:40.440
And so one day, because Joel was just like fawning

00:19:40.440 --> 00:19:43.519
over Conrad, Joel got a picture with Conrad with

00:19:43.519 --> 00:19:45.559
both of them striking the pose that he does on

00:19:45.559 --> 00:19:48.630
the billboard. And I was like, see, your arms

00:19:48.630 --> 00:19:51.430
are just as big as his. But it was kind of disappointing,

00:19:51.450 --> 00:19:53.470
because it turns out Conrad has little chicken

00:19:53.470 --> 00:19:58.890
legs. Straight minute leg day. I'm not trying

00:19:58.890 --> 00:20:01.329
to fuck his legs. I don't know. Leg day's my

00:20:01.329 --> 00:20:02.490
favorite. I know, but I'm trying to fuck his

00:20:02.490 --> 00:20:04.930
ass, and he needs a fat ass. Oh, that's true.

00:20:05.250 --> 00:20:11.750
I ain't gonna have a fat ass. More cushion for

00:20:11.750 --> 00:20:18.339
the cushion. Oh. Yeah, I don't want to hurt my

00:20:18.339 --> 00:20:24.680
hip when I thrust into it I'm already tearing

00:20:24.680 --> 00:20:27.680
up my knees. I can afford breaking a hip. Yeah,

00:20:27.680 --> 00:20:32.099
I don't like the bumping bones That reminds me

00:20:32.099 --> 00:20:33.839
that meme I love where they're like twinks are

00:20:33.839 --> 00:20:36.160
like drill me daddy or something and it's like

00:20:43.230 --> 00:20:46.009
Uniforms I don't know but there are levels. I

00:20:46.009 --> 00:20:50.250
will say that like sure that random Any company

00:20:50.250 --> 00:20:52.230
I'm like, oh that's hot but then like you show

00:20:52.230 --> 00:20:54.109
up and you start showing up and like firemen

00:20:54.109 --> 00:20:57.069
or I Think you're leaning towards like Tom of

00:20:57.069 --> 00:20:59.690
Finland style uniforms, right? It's like like

00:20:59.690 --> 00:21:02.349
a highway patrolman. That's really really tight

00:21:02.349 --> 00:21:05.210
And you can see like stuff through it I think

00:21:05.210 --> 00:21:08.410
this is the problem with law enforcement. I know

00:21:08.410 --> 00:21:10.930
all the other problems with law enforcement.

00:21:11.049 --> 00:21:15.470
They got to have people working there like today

00:21:15.470 --> 00:21:18.829
as a matter. So mine was military because Oklahoma

00:21:18.829 --> 00:21:21.250
City has a huge military base. There's a guy

00:21:21.250 --> 00:21:23.430
that lives in my apartment that's in the military

00:21:23.430 --> 00:21:26.809
and he got in my apartment in my specific. He's

00:21:26.809 --> 00:21:37.420
back there right there right there. Can I tell

00:21:37.420 --> 00:21:43.319
you you could do that? You silly. I said, I said

00:21:43.319 --> 00:21:47.559
deeper. That's a bad boy and bad boys don't get

00:21:47.559 --> 00:21:52.980
rewarded. You can't have any insomnia. Oh no,

00:21:53.099 --> 00:21:55.940
no, I ate those already. So fuck off there. Go

00:21:55.940 --> 00:21:58.069
buy more if you want. But the military guy got

00:21:58.069 --> 00:21:59.809
on the elevator and was talking to me because

00:21:59.809 --> 00:22:02.170
he was petting Reggie. And I was like, oh my

00:22:02.170 --> 00:22:04.549
god, you're not even that attractive. But that

00:22:04.549 --> 00:22:08.250
uniform changed everything. You look great. I

00:22:08.250 --> 00:22:10.250
cannot tell you how many people, whenever I was

00:22:10.250 --> 00:22:13.529
still in the army, would ask me to come over

00:22:13.529 --> 00:22:19.450
and drill them in my uniform. It's a whole thing.

00:22:20.089 --> 00:22:22.529
It was fine. It was a thing where I was like,

00:22:22.930 --> 00:22:24.990
sure. I mean, I'm going to put it in you anyway.

00:22:25.089 --> 00:22:28.319
Might as well be wearing this. There is a flea

00:22:28.319 --> 00:22:30.779
market that is apparently a really big deal.

00:22:31.200 --> 00:22:33.119
Is it every weekend here in Tulsa, Anthony? I

00:22:33.119 --> 00:22:34.220
don't know if it's every weekend. I think it's

00:22:34.220 --> 00:22:36.279
once a month. I think it is, too. Maybe it's

00:22:36.279 --> 00:22:38.240
every weekend. I don't know. Anyway, there's

00:22:38.240 --> 00:22:40.819
this stall there, and this woman has patches,

00:22:41.140 --> 00:22:43.779
like iron -on patches, and she has everything.

00:22:44.400 --> 00:22:46.160
Everything. State fair. She has, like, state

00:22:46.160 --> 00:22:49.890
parks. She has, like, sports teams, cities. boy

00:22:49.890 --> 00:22:51.390
scout girl scout stuff she has like stuff from

00:22:51.390 --> 00:22:53.309
like work uniforms anyway i was looking through

00:22:53.309 --> 00:22:55.009
one of the binders of them and it was like a

00:22:55.009 --> 00:22:57.029
bunch of these like patches from work shirt uniforms

00:22:57.029 --> 00:23:00.509
that are like parts manager service and i was

00:23:00.509 --> 00:23:04.089
like wouldn't it be hilarious if i like ironed

00:23:04.089 --> 00:23:06.269
one of these onto like a jock strap and then

00:23:06.269 --> 00:23:07.650
like i would pull down my pants and it would

00:23:07.650 --> 00:23:10.140
say like service manager or something and I could

00:23:10.140 --> 00:23:13.059
like make a whole like auto worker like outfit

00:23:13.059 --> 00:23:15.380
kinky and I was like, that could be like a fun

00:23:15.380 --> 00:23:18.259
project. Honestly, for like an oversized wrench.

00:23:18.539 --> 00:23:22.559
Yeah, I'd be funny. I cannot believe I'm about

00:23:22.559 --> 00:23:25.519
to say this but that would actually be a little

00:23:25.519 --> 00:23:29.480
bit of a fun tattoo like right at your belt line.

00:23:29.740 --> 00:23:32.339
This is service manager like a patch. Are you

00:23:32.339 --> 00:23:34.420
talking about like like a like a tramp stamp?

00:23:34.680 --> 00:23:37.180
It would be on the front side. So the only problem

00:23:37.180 --> 00:23:39.000
with that is that I would have to lift it up

00:23:39.000 --> 00:23:44.039
for people to see it. Because it's hot! It's

00:23:44.039 --> 00:23:46.099
hot on people that are like... you know, trim

00:23:46.099 --> 00:23:48.299
and muscular down there, but I still have that

00:23:48.299 --> 00:23:50.880
little pouch that won't seem to go away, so I'm

00:23:50.880 --> 00:23:51.799
not going to touch you on that. Yeah, I was like,

00:23:52.000 --> 00:23:53.720
mine's still lingering, and I guess, I mean,

00:23:53.839 --> 00:23:56.700
right in my belt line is doing great, so... It's

00:23:56.700 --> 00:23:59.420
probably because we have decided that we still

00:23:59.420 --> 00:24:02.279
want to continue to eat things like cheese. Yeah.

00:24:02.759 --> 00:24:04.599
Jay, you could get one that says, uh, like, ding

00:24:04.599 --> 00:24:07.420
-dong, and then you could say, Avonlady, whenever

00:24:07.420 --> 00:24:12.789
you pull your pants down. I hate that. I don't

00:24:12.789 --> 00:24:16.509
think I told you on my cruise, I got a sun -kissed

00:24:16.509 --> 00:24:20.849
tramp stamp. Like the soda? Like a temporary

00:24:20.849 --> 00:24:24.269
one? Yeah, basically. I was like, Jesse, you're

00:24:24.269 --> 00:24:26.210
not cool enough to have gotten a real one. Oh,

00:24:26.210 --> 00:24:28.609
no, no. I keep telling myself I'm going to give

00:24:28.609 --> 00:24:31.349
you the tattoo. And now that service manager

00:24:31.349 --> 00:24:34.549
one's so risque, I'm like, I kind of want to

00:24:34.549 --> 00:24:37.250
do it now. Maybe. Anyways, in Cozumel while we

00:24:37.250 --> 00:24:39.789
were, no, Honduras, while we were snorkeling.

00:24:40.989 --> 00:24:42.730
Wore a shirt because I'm like we're out in the

00:24:42.730 --> 00:24:44.769
middle of the ocean in the radiating Sun and

00:24:44.769 --> 00:24:47.750
I'm not going to burn Well, what I guess happened

00:24:47.750 --> 00:24:50.230
was as I'm snorkeling the water pushed up the

00:24:50.230 --> 00:24:54.470
back of my shirt and so I Get back to my room

00:24:54.470 --> 00:24:56.170
that day and I was like, oh my god putting on

00:24:56.170 --> 00:24:57.890
these new pants It kind of hurts a little bit

00:24:57.890 --> 00:24:59.529
on there. I must have burned and I look in the

00:24:59.529 --> 00:25:05.809
mirror. I have a triangle -shaped burn It was

00:25:05.809 --> 00:25:08.789
a burn I thought you're gonna be like those girls

00:25:08.789 --> 00:25:11.319
that like put a little heart sticker on their

00:25:11.319 --> 00:25:13.480
shoulder or like down the key line. Oh, the playboy

00:25:13.480 --> 00:25:16.759
bunny? Yeah, to get like a sun tattoo or whatever.

00:25:17.480 --> 00:25:22.119
Oh, the playboy bunny. What an era. Oh my god,

00:25:22.279 --> 00:25:27.759
my niece got a tattoo on her right arm that I'm

00:25:27.759 --> 00:25:31.660
so dumb sometimes. Sometimes my niece makes me

00:25:31.660 --> 00:25:35.559
feel very old. Well, she shouldn't make you feel

00:25:35.559 --> 00:25:40.509
very old since you are. Oh, I know. Anyways,

00:25:41.170 --> 00:25:46.769
let's just get there. It was a horse and it's

00:25:46.769 --> 00:25:48.809
just the outline of the horse. And I was immediately

00:25:48.809 --> 00:25:50.849
like, I thought it was a Mustang logo, which

00:25:50.849 --> 00:25:52.410
is stupid because it wasn't the Mustang logo.

00:25:52.410 --> 00:25:55.069
It was closer to a Bronco logo. And I was like,

00:25:55.069 --> 00:25:56.730
Oh my God, you have the Mustang logo. And she

00:25:56.730 --> 00:26:03.470
was like, No, it's the Deftones White Pony. Oh,

00:26:03.890 --> 00:26:06.509
it is and I love that album and that's infinitely

00:26:06.509 --> 00:26:15.970
cooler than what I said. Anyways, yeah. Speaking

00:26:15.970 --> 00:26:17.970
of kinks though, I do like guys with tattoos.

00:26:19.420 --> 00:26:23.140
Like an arm sleeve or like a tight polo and the

00:26:23.140 --> 00:26:24.460
sleeve comes down to like the three -quarter

00:26:24.460 --> 00:26:30.420
and you can see it like Yeah, tattoos are I do

00:26:30.420 --> 00:26:34.700
like tattoos it's It's hot. I don't know what's

00:26:34.700 --> 00:26:36.339
so hot about it. I don't understand it. Is it

00:26:36.339 --> 00:26:38.819
the bad boy mentality? I think I like bad boys.

00:26:39.039 --> 00:26:42.859
Oh when I see like a like a Polynesian man who's

00:26:42.859 --> 00:26:45.640
like You've got like the deep tan and he's got

00:26:45.640 --> 00:26:47.960
like the tribal tattoos all over him. I'm just

00:26:47.960 --> 00:26:51.420
like ah Like oh my god, there's this guy right

00:26:51.420 --> 00:26:54.039
now on next level chef that we're watching. Oh

00:26:54.039 --> 00:26:57.000
My god, his name is Christian I think and yes,

00:26:57.000 --> 00:26:59.480
he works on the show hot ones and he is a hot

00:26:59.480 --> 00:27:02.940
one himself and he Beautiful every time he pops.

00:27:03.039 --> 00:27:10.259
I'm just like Yeah, I'm like I'm like jalapeno

00:27:10.259 --> 00:27:13.309
popper is like ready to go Like Jay at the gym

00:27:13.309 --> 00:27:17.630
for that one guy, just... Oh, butt guy. Haven't

00:27:17.630 --> 00:27:20.750
seen him in a while. Not butt guy. No, the bald

00:27:20.750 --> 00:27:26.349
guy whose head you want to lick. Oh yeah. That

00:27:26.349 --> 00:27:28.789
one I forgot. That's part of the lore. I'm building

00:27:28.789 --> 00:27:30.210
that lore, by the way, that you want to lick

00:27:30.210 --> 00:27:33.789
his head. I don't know if that's part of my kink

00:27:33.789 --> 00:27:38.369
mix, but who knows? I feel like as I'm getting

00:27:38.369 --> 00:27:40.269
older I keep learning more and more about myself

00:27:40.269 --> 00:27:44.000
and I'm like, whatever. I've like very open to

00:27:44.000 --> 00:27:45.920
accepting new kinks at this point in my life.

00:27:45.980 --> 00:27:47.279
I'm just like, you know what? Yeah, I'm into

00:27:47.279 --> 00:27:51.599
that. It's funny. Like, I have tried a lot of

00:27:51.599 --> 00:27:54.980
things and I'm not like anti most things, but

00:27:54.980 --> 00:27:56.779
I'm also not the guy that's like, oh, I really

00:27:56.779 --> 00:28:00.339
want to do all these things again. But the experience

00:28:00.339 --> 00:28:02.819
of doing a lot of them have been a lot of fun.

00:28:03.420 --> 00:28:06.059
I don't crave them on a regular basis. I mean,

00:28:06.059 --> 00:28:08.259
there's things that I have learned about myself

00:28:08.259 --> 00:28:11.430
even just in the last year where I'm like, Yeah,

00:28:11.430 --> 00:28:16.049
I guess I'm into that like like Content warning

00:28:16.049 --> 00:28:21.069
if you know me personally I like having my balls

00:28:21.069 --> 00:28:29.630
slapped around a little bit Damn my brain immediately

00:28:29.630 --> 00:28:47.339
like turn to you standing there me going It was

00:28:47.339 --> 00:28:49.880
it was a whole moment where I was doing like

00:28:49.880 --> 00:28:53.140
it was a very like Dom sub scene and the Dom

00:28:53.140 --> 00:28:55.660
was like Broke out his paddle and I was like

00:28:55.660 --> 00:28:57.839
cool and then he turned me over and I was like,

00:28:57.920 --> 00:29:04.619
hey, this is the front side But I told myself

00:29:04.619 --> 00:29:07.599
coming into it I was like Be willing be open

00:29:07.599 --> 00:29:09.819
to the experience and just be willing to try

00:29:09.819 --> 00:29:12.900
things and then I did and I was like Well, what

00:29:12.900 --> 00:29:17.180
do you know about that? I like it When it was

00:29:17.180 --> 00:29:19.740
pride last year and I got I got to do that demonstration

00:29:19.740 --> 00:29:21.539
of getting flogged with electricity And I was

00:29:21.539 --> 00:29:23.599
like I was super apprehensive going into it,

00:29:23.619 --> 00:29:26.640
but I tried it and it was real cool It felt like

00:29:26.640 --> 00:29:29.240
I keep meaning to get a flogger for that purpose.

00:29:29.240 --> 00:29:32.920
It was cool I wasn't to it. I want to flog you

00:29:33.779 --> 00:29:40.160
I mean I do I am no longer Wait wait try it with

00:29:40.160 --> 00:29:58.960
the other voice So Jay you talked about uniforms

00:29:58.960 --> 00:30:01.440
I'll kind of expand on that a little bit and

00:30:01.440 --> 00:30:05.859
like How about like a country guy or like a like

00:30:05.859 --> 00:30:08.140
the Jack rancher for example, you know him on

00:30:08.140 --> 00:30:13.680
So I will say I Don't have the country boy kink

00:30:13.680 --> 00:30:16.240
like I don't have anything against them there

00:30:16.240 --> 00:30:19.400
They don't get less attractive to me, but I don't

00:30:19.400 --> 00:30:22.000
look at it and go. Oh my god a cowboy It's because

00:30:22.000 --> 00:30:26.019
I grew up on a ranch around cowboys all the time

00:30:26.019 --> 00:30:28.960
And most of them are the most emotionally distant

00:30:28.960 --> 00:30:34.150
stupid people I've met Yeah, or hot or they know

00:30:34.150 --> 00:30:37.150
everything even though they don't so I'm just

00:30:37.150 --> 00:30:42.589
like yeah, whatever I I do have the cowboy kink

00:30:42.589 --> 00:30:45.349
I do I definitely have it and I don't know what

00:30:45.349 --> 00:30:48.170
that is I think I think what it is is it goes

00:30:48.170 --> 00:30:51.309
back to the people that I was attracted to growing

00:30:51.309 --> 00:30:54.890
up where like a lot of the guys that I found

00:30:54.890 --> 00:30:58.849
attractive were They were like kids of farmers

00:30:58.849 --> 00:31:01.809
and so they too were also farmers and like also

00:31:01.809 --> 00:31:06.869
their dads were hot. For a good few years I had

00:31:06.869 --> 00:31:13.470
a real thing for men in suits. Suits were so

00:31:13.470 --> 00:31:14.329
hot to me. I know at least one other person who

00:31:14.329 --> 00:31:17.509
listened to this podcast who is also into that.

00:31:17.509 --> 00:31:20.230
And nowadays after working at corporate world

00:31:20.230 --> 00:31:22.549
for such a long time I'm like oh my god now you

00:31:22.549 --> 00:31:26.890
just look like douchebags. Yeah I want you guys

00:31:26.890 --> 00:31:30.069
to do each other just because I don't know I

00:31:30.069 --> 00:31:32.849
need to let something out but I don't care I

00:31:32.849 --> 00:31:35.150
appreciate a good nice suit but like I don't

00:31:35.150 --> 00:31:37.650
really get turned on by that's it I can look

00:31:37.650 --> 00:31:39.730
at a guy and be like oh my god like you look

00:31:39.730 --> 00:31:42.589
so good in that suit but the only time I'd rather

00:31:42.589 --> 00:31:45.009
be turned on by it I'd rather see you out of

00:31:45.009 --> 00:31:46.769
the suit yeah the only time I'm gonna be turned

00:31:46.769 --> 00:31:49.559
on by naked is if it's somebody I'm like And

00:31:49.559 --> 00:31:51.400
that's when I get invested with attracted to

00:31:51.400 --> 00:31:55.200
that. I'm just like, oh, that's when I get hungry.

00:31:55.880 --> 00:32:06.900
I'm hungry for you. I do like gear. Yeah, I have.

00:32:06.900 --> 00:32:08.700
I've gotten more of an appreciation for gear

00:32:08.700 --> 00:32:11.839
like jocks, harnesses, that kind of thing harnesses,

00:32:11.839 --> 00:32:15.299
jocks. like, like specific kink underwear that

00:32:15.299 --> 00:32:17.140
you can purchase. I was like the underwear with

00:32:17.140 --> 00:32:19.700
a butt showing. I'm just like, Hey, I love a

00:32:19.700 --> 00:32:21.859
little like zipper or trap door in the back.

00:32:21.900 --> 00:32:37.259
Hell yeah. Why that's funny Hey, listen, that's

00:32:37.259 --> 00:32:40.359
like you say that but like there are Union suits

00:32:40.359 --> 00:32:43.019
Especially like the nasty pig ones that have

00:32:43.019 --> 00:32:45.279
the buttons that go all the way up and down the

00:32:45.279 --> 00:32:47.799
front and back and so you could just Rip the

00:32:47.799 --> 00:32:52.119
box open. Yeah I'm fine with that. It's like

00:32:52.119 --> 00:32:55.619
it's like the snap -on Joggers used to wear.

00:32:56.799 --> 00:32:59.960
Yeah Then you got to put them back together you

00:32:59.960 --> 00:33:04.619
like that's Basically, I honestly I mean that

00:33:04.619 --> 00:33:06.720
the whole point of the union suit is to put it

00:33:06.720 --> 00:33:10.619
on one time for the evening and then Then you'd

00:33:10.619 --> 00:33:15.599
expect it to get ripped off Yes Yes. Yes, I like

00:33:15.599 --> 00:33:18.019
stuff like that. I like that. I like harnesses

00:33:18.019 --> 00:33:21.859
very into gear pretty much into bondage I'm into

00:33:21.859 --> 00:33:27.190
butts love butts Literally, I love butts. I love

00:33:27.190 --> 00:33:29.650
a good butt though at the gym. Oh my god when

00:33:29.650 --> 00:33:32.549
it's a perfect shape Yeah, when a guy's wearing

00:33:32.549 --> 00:33:35.170
some tight jeans and they fit perfectly. I'm

00:33:35.170 --> 00:33:38.450
just like Yeah, looking nice respectfully like

00:33:38.450 --> 00:33:40.910
I'm just like mmm. That's so cute. I want to

00:33:40.910 --> 00:33:43.829
hug it I want to bite it. There's other things

00:33:43.829 --> 00:33:47.390
I want to do, but I just want to hug it Do some

00:33:47.390 --> 00:33:49.769
other nasty or just want to hug it and tell it

00:33:49.769 --> 00:33:58.019
that everything Tickle, tickle. Uncle Ray Ray's

00:33:58.019 --> 00:34:03.480
got a gang. Uncle Ray Ray's got a gang. Well,

00:34:03.819 --> 00:34:06.339
after our first scary movie reference of the

00:34:06.339 --> 00:34:07.920
episode, do you think it's time to take a pause?

00:34:08.659 --> 00:34:10.519
Yes. I think it's probably time for a small break.

00:34:13.199 --> 00:34:16.139
You're enjoying season eight of Beards and Sundries.

00:34:16.380 --> 00:34:22.260
Now, back to the game. Oh my god, we're back.

00:34:22.519 --> 00:34:30.260
How? Through the magic of podcasting. Well, now

00:34:30.260 --> 00:34:32.199
one day I want to do that and just change shirts.

00:34:32.739 --> 00:34:36.639
You should change it inside out. We just look

00:34:36.639 --> 00:34:39.039
like we waited forever to record another part

00:34:39.039 --> 00:34:41.179
of the episode. Hey, let me grow my hair out

00:34:41.179 --> 00:34:47.000
a little bit. So now for this part of the episode,

00:34:47.340 --> 00:34:50.289
we're going to. peruse the aisles a little bit

00:34:50.289 --> 00:34:54.389
we're going to pick out some gear for each other

00:34:54.389 --> 00:34:58.650
so um where should we go do you think uh you

00:34:58.650 --> 00:35:00.510
know what just google whatever the hell we want

00:35:00.510 --> 00:35:03.449
i was gonna say if you know dangerous that can

00:35:03.449 --> 00:35:08.349
go i was gonna say just go to mr s leather but

00:35:08.349 --> 00:35:10.030
that'll have penises on it we can't share the

00:35:10.030 --> 00:35:13.969
images oh hold on i think i just found what i

00:35:13.969 --> 00:35:16.849
need for joe and this is gonna get everyone hot

00:35:16.849 --> 00:35:19.980
and bothered Is it a giant bowl for mac and cheese?

00:35:21.000 --> 00:35:25.599
On the front of a jock. Oh my god. Okay, I'm

00:35:25.599 --> 00:35:39.179
gonna share screen if you're ready. I kind of

00:35:39.179 --> 00:35:45.960
look like the guy wearing it. Photoshopped sunglasses

00:35:45.960 --> 00:35:54.239
and a hat photo to the extreme they just You

00:35:54.239 --> 00:35:57.179
know that what they did was they just made a

00:35:57.179 --> 00:35:59.820
picture of a guy put some sunglasses put a hat

00:35:59.820 --> 00:36:02.840
on them and then Put this like bodysuit over

00:36:02.840 --> 00:36:07.840
him. Like it's the worst Photoshopping ever How

00:36:07.840 --> 00:36:13.280
much is it? Oh great question. Um Hold on absolutely

00:36:13.280 --> 00:36:18.820
not Hold on. No, no. AU. 4231 US. I love that

00:36:18.820 --> 00:36:22.360
it's a huge, big -titty, fat suit bitch, but

00:36:22.360 --> 00:36:25.239
it still has a thigh gap that is snatched. I

00:36:25.239 --> 00:36:28.059
love that it's called, Inflatable Sexy Lady Costume

00:36:28.059 --> 00:36:31.519
Funny Novelty Fancy Dress -Up Party Buck's Inns.

00:36:31.860 --> 00:36:35.280
This is my favorite costume. When it's like legally

00:36:35.280 --> 00:36:37.059
distinct costumes and they have to call them

00:36:37.059 --> 00:36:40.739
something different. I kind of want to make that

00:36:40.739 --> 00:36:55.059
the episode title. I don't know a hen in at least

00:36:55.059 --> 00:36:57.760
in the UK probably also in Australia is like

00:36:57.760 --> 00:37:00.820
saying a bachelor party you have a hen. Other

00:37:00.820 --> 00:37:03.179
countries are better than us. That makes sense.

00:37:03.199 --> 00:37:07.619
Yeah. So like you parties can be dues as well.

00:37:07.940 --> 00:37:11.320
But like a hen party is like, yeah, it's like

00:37:11.320 --> 00:37:14.800
a bachelor party. A sexy lady party with Stewie!

00:37:15.059 --> 00:37:17.480
With Stewie! Alright, I've got one I'm ready

00:37:17.480 --> 00:37:20.039
to share, if you guys are ready. I am ready.

00:37:20.420 --> 00:37:26.019
Who's it for? It's for Jay. Yay! Alright, this

00:37:26.019 --> 00:37:30.079
is the four play women's 2 infinity sexy astronaut

00:37:30.079 --> 00:37:32.659
movie character costume adult costume and white.

00:37:32.940 --> 00:37:35.900
I fucking love it and I'm obsessed with this.

00:37:36.000 --> 00:37:38.860
I'm gonna get it for my next rendezvous in the

00:37:38.860 --> 00:37:42.519
bedroom. I love it because I just picture like...

00:37:42.230 --> 00:37:44.849
Someone banging on your chest saying buzz buzz

00:37:44.849 --> 00:37:48.929
buzz Hey, oh my god guy I've been dating that

00:37:48.929 --> 00:37:50.590
I know is probably gonna watch this episode.

00:37:50.710 --> 00:37:56.670
Tell me what you think hit me up Sexy astronaut

00:37:56.670 --> 00:38:00.469
Yeah, don't you fuck that up? It's for play but

00:38:00.469 --> 00:38:07.289
not for play. It's for play for play. Oh Hang

00:38:07.289 --> 00:38:10.670
on I've got one for Jay as well. I really am

00:38:10.670 --> 00:38:15.510
glad that I'm so popular. It's, I think you're

00:38:15.510 --> 00:38:19.050
really gonna like it. Because it's, I don't know,

00:38:19.110 --> 00:38:22.449
there's a lot happening. So hang on one second.

00:38:23.449 --> 00:38:27.789
Okay, so this is what I think you should probably

00:38:27.789 --> 00:38:31.289
be wearing in the bedroom, Jay, as a soft arm.

00:38:31.889 --> 00:38:36.510
Oh, it's, it's kind of like a fur version of

00:38:36.510 --> 00:38:41.570
the tan man. So this is the tan man. No fucking

00:38:41.570 --> 00:38:46.489
way. This is the tan man, yes. No fucking way.

00:38:47.969 --> 00:38:51.489
In full cultural appropriation in some way, shape,

00:38:51.690 --> 00:38:54.530
or form. It's not specifically cultural appropriation,

00:38:54.750 --> 00:38:56.789
but it looks like it, right? He's not running

00:38:56.789 --> 00:39:00.469
for office. I fucking hated him, but now I hate

00:39:00.469 --> 00:39:07.039
him more. This is so... I hate this guy. But

00:39:07.039 --> 00:39:10.059
Jay, finally, you can walk into the bedroom and

00:39:10.059 --> 00:39:15.119
say, I'm furry and horny. They don't call me

00:39:15.119 --> 00:39:21.280
Rowdy Bush for a reason. God, that guy sucks.

00:39:21.500 --> 00:39:23.460
Although I was disappointed not seeing him on

00:39:23.460 --> 00:39:28.239
my cruise. What do you think this man does for

00:39:28.239 --> 00:39:31.820
a living? This? I don't know if he has a real

00:39:31.820 --> 00:39:34.920
job, but he apparently does this in... He lives

00:39:34.920 --> 00:39:37.940
in Houston. This guy is a whole person that,

00:39:37.940 --> 00:39:42.079
like, shows up to things. Like, he's, I don't

00:39:42.079 --> 00:39:44.519
know. It's weird that this is a cultural phenomenon.

00:39:45.139 --> 00:39:48.719
But anyways, yeah. Also, the gold necklace, really

00:39:48.719 --> 00:39:53.000
selling the pimp vibe. It looks like he's, like,

00:39:53.099 --> 00:39:55.360
I don't know. The gold necklace actually reminds

00:39:55.360 --> 00:39:59.920
me of, like, Cleopatra. I mean, a little bit.

00:40:00.300 --> 00:40:03.420
Like, the appropriation of this outfit is, like,

00:40:03.420 --> 00:40:09.309
making fun of eight Different hey, hey different

00:40:09.309 --> 00:40:14.030
group Honestly, the American Union of liches

00:40:14.030 --> 00:40:16.969
is gonna be so upset This is why we can't get

00:40:16.969 --> 00:40:21.309
famous. This is why this is the only reason why

00:40:21.309 --> 00:40:25.409
oh But I don't know if you listen to this week's

00:40:25.409 --> 00:40:31.590
episode Not yet, I have not our sponsor said

00:40:31.590 --> 00:40:35.369
that they were very gracious for This famous

00:40:35.369 --> 00:40:38.409
podcast growing their business that they've started

00:40:38.409 --> 00:40:41.449
something new So yeah, you should get so I have

00:40:41.449 --> 00:40:44.250
to listen to the episode now I didn't get time

00:40:44.250 --> 00:40:46.710
to today. No, no, I can send a commercial. No,

00:40:46.710 --> 00:40:48.469
I'll listen to it at some point I'll just send

00:40:48.469 --> 00:40:51.369
the commercial so that way you can or do you

00:40:51.369 --> 00:40:53.710
want me to just play it here? Why not? Yeah,

00:40:53.789 --> 00:40:57.070
play it now. I want here. Okay. Well, you don't

00:40:57.070 --> 00:40:59.590
have to we didn't you offered why would you?

00:41:04.630 --> 00:41:07.409
hang on all right are you ready for the commercial

00:41:07.409 --> 00:41:12.650
yes actually no hey there cowboys and cowgirls

00:41:12.650 --> 00:41:15.670
it's me big billy sam if you've been a long time

00:41:15.670 --> 00:41:17.349
listener of this show you'll remember me from

00:41:17.349 --> 00:41:19.309
big joe and billy sam's shack of country fried

00:41:19.309 --> 00:41:22.289
chicken buffet diner and bait shop our diner

00:41:22.289 --> 00:41:24.789
has blown up since this very famous podcast let

00:41:24.789 --> 00:41:27.309
us so graciously sponsor them that we were able

00:41:27.309 --> 00:41:29.989
to start our next adventure that's right the

00:41:29.989 --> 00:41:32.610
big joe and billy sam's margaritaville jamboree

00:41:32.610 --> 00:41:35.860
cruise line Think horrible, but way more disappointing.

00:41:36.360 --> 00:41:38.639
But you'll be happy to know that everything that

00:41:38.639 --> 00:41:40.679
you can find at Big Joe and Billy Sam's Shack

00:41:40.679 --> 00:41:42.500
and Country Pride Chicken Buffet, Diner, and

00:41:42.500 --> 00:41:45.980
Bait Shop will be available on our new Margaritaville

00:41:45.980 --> 00:41:48.599
Jamboree Cruise Line. It's the only cruise line

00:41:48.599 --> 00:41:50.760
that'll let you fish right off the edge of the

00:41:50.760 --> 00:41:54.059
ship. So don't sit around moping. Come on down

00:41:54.059 --> 00:41:57.179
and hop on board to the Big Joe and Billy Sam's

00:41:57.179 --> 00:42:00.019
Margaritaville Jamboree Cruise Line, where you're

00:42:00.019 --> 00:42:02.480
not going regret it unless you cruise on literally

00:42:02.480 --> 00:42:04.880
any other cruise line and realize they're way

00:42:04.880 --> 00:42:10.880
better. I'm imagining you recording this and

00:42:10.880 --> 00:42:12.880
getting through like through some of these sentences

00:42:12.880 --> 00:42:17.219
and just going I have to do this shit in parts.

00:42:17.679 --> 00:42:21.179
I like I was I was actually going to recommend

00:42:21.179 --> 00:42:23.500
using them for a sponsor this week for like a

00:42:23.500 --> 00:42:29.929
sex toy shop. That's a good idea. I was in the

00:42:29.929 --> 00:42:31.150
bathroom and I was like, you know what would

00:42:31.150 --> 00:42:33.030
be really funny is if we brought back Big Joe

00:42:33.030 --> 00:42:35.650
and Billy Sam's. Big Joe and Billy Sam's. That

00:42:35.650 --> 00:42:38.750
would be funny. Actually, we could do Big Joe

00:42:38.750 --> 00:42:41.030
and Billy Sam's country fried chicken buffet

00:42:41.030 --> 00:42:44.750
diner and bait shop and sex shop. They've expanded.

00:42:44.750 --> 00:42:50.650
And cruise line. Well, the cruise line system

00:42:50.650 --> 00:42:53.170
is city area. Lower your man into the bedroom.

00:42:53.750 --> 00:42:56.650
This would be an addition to the diner and bait

00:42:56.650 --> 00:43:03.219
shop. You can buy stuff to catch a fish or to

00:43:03.219 --> 00:43:06.300
catch a... dick. And our crunchy fried gravy

00:43:06.300 --> 00:43:09.860
is good on crunchy fried steak and on your arm's

00:43:09.860 --> 00:43:14.119
ass. And dribble it down your back. Nom nom.

00:43:14.280 --> 00:43:17.119
Some savory gravy right down the spine. Nom nom

00:43:17.119 --> 00:43:22.900
nom. But don't take my word for it. We also added

00:43:22.900 --> 00:43:25.320
to the buffet the specialty cheese that Joe uses

00:43:25.320 --> 00:43:30.630
on his back. Yeah, scrape that off. Cheese product,

00:43:30.809 --> 00:43:32.650
it's not legally allowed to be called cheese,

00:43:32.769 --> 00:43:36.510
even America. Joe dips his dick in it every morning.

00:43:36.909 --> 00:43:39.309
Every morning it's a regimen. I've got one last

00:43:39.309 --> 00:43:42.650
item here, and this is an item for Anthony, and

00:43:42.650 --> 00:43:45.829
it made me think of it because we almost bought

00:43:45.829 --> 00:43:51.739
one. This is a Bowser plush hat. from Super Nintendo

00:43:51.739 --> 00:43:54.500
World at Universal Studios. This is a real item.

00:43:55.280 --> 00:43:57.239
The only reason we didn't buy it was because

00:43:57.239 --> 00:44:01.099
it's $42, but you can see, Jay, there, that your

00:44:01.099 --> 00:44:02.880
face goes right into that hole, and then you

00:44:02.880 --> 00:44:06.019
fasten it around your neck. So just imagine the

00:44:06.019 --> 00:44:09.780
possibility of, like, going to Pound Town with

00:44:09.780 --> 00:44:11.860
somebody while wearing this. Like, the furry

00:44:11.860 --> 00:44:13.800
community probably is on board, but I think it

00:44:13.800 --> 00:44:16.079
would be super hilarious, so I kind of still

00:44:16.079 --> 00:44:18.880
want to buy one. I'm imagining how sweaty I get.

00:44:20.500 --> 00:44:25.539
And how much more sweaty I would be Just imagine

00:44:25.539 --> 00:44:29.760
being like You couldn't there's too much Bowser

00:44:29.760 --> 00:44:32.559
face And knowing a few of our friends who are

00:44:32.559 --> 00:44:34.860
into like video games and like Mario Party and

00:44:34.860 --> 00:44:37.079
Mario Kart and stuff I think this would be like

00:44:37.079 --> 00:44:40.519
hilarious Honestly, popular opinion, I'm gonna

00:44:40.519 --> 00:44:43.780
wear it next time. How much is that? $42. I know,

00:44:43.820 --> 00:44:45.519
that's why we didn't buy it last time when we

00:44:45.519 --> 00:44:47.940
were in Universal Studios. Right, that makes

00:44:47.940 --> 00:44:50.639
sense. You brought up all the points that you

00:44:50.639 --> 00:44:52.440
just brought up when we were looking at it at

00:44:52.440 --> 00:44:55.000
Universal Studios, so we didn't buy it. Right,

00:44:55.159 --> 00:44:56.940
yeah, that makes sense. Can you imagine getting

00:44:56.940 --> 00:45:01.780
on a plane wearing that fucking thing? Yes. Yep.

00:45:03.889 --> 00:45:06.929
Is this the aisle or the window? This is my emotional

00:45:06.929 --> 00:45:12.010
support helmet. Thanks. Your princess is in another

00:45:12.010 --> 00:45:16.409
castle. Your princess is in another asshole.

00:45:17.329 --> 00:45:19.570
But do you guys think it's time for a commercial?

00:45:19.789 --> 00:45:21.449
I think now it's definitely time for a commercial.

00:45:24.829 --> 00:45:28.329
Now for a word from our sponsor, Big Joe and

00:45:28.329 --> 00:45:32.880
Billy Sam's country fried chicken. Country -fied

00:45:32.880 --> 00:45:36.960
chicken buffet entire and sex shop eight shop

00:45:36.960 --> 00:45:39.420
and sex shop. I'll get it together. You know

00:45:39.420 --> 00:45:44.659
when I'll get it right We know the sponsor we

00:45:44.659 --> 00:45:49.960
just can't say it it's too many words Hello,

00:45:50.500 --> 00:45:55.880
it's me Big Joe Billy Sam is out with food poisoning.

00:45:56.119 --> 00:46:00.380
So I have to make the commercial this week Many

00:46:00.380 --> 00:46:04.400
of you have been to our diner, the Big Joe and

00:46:04.400 --> 00:46:08.960
Billy Sam Shack of Country Fried Chicken. I need

00:46:08.960 --> 00:46:12.340
my notes, hold on. Chicken buffet, diner, and

00:46:12.340 --> 00:46:16.360
bait shop. But thanks to Valentine's Day recently

00:46:16.360 --> 00:46:20.199
passing by, we've decided to expand our business

00:46:20.199 --> 00:46:24.409
to something even more that you will love. Now,

00:46:24.650 --> 00:46:29.050
you'll know us as Big Joe and Billy Sam's Shack

00:46:29.050 --> 00:46:32.949
of Country Fried Chicken Buffet, Diner, Bait

00:46:32.949 --> 00:46:38.130
Shop, and Sex Shop. Here, you can find all of

00:46:38.130 --> 00:46:43.050
the marital aids you need. For example, like...

00:46:43.050 --> 00:46:45.409
Guys, I can't read this. Fucking read the script,

00:46:45.630 --> 00:46:50.210
Joe. Let's get this over with. You can find marital

00:46:50.210 --> 00:46:56.159
aids like Dildo's... lube that's flavored for

00:46:56.159 --> 00:47:02.340
the savory tastes of our diner and Because we're

00:47:02.340 --> 00:47:05.579
a bait shop. We're gonna hook you into love here

00:47:05.579 --> 00:47:10.900
So hurry on down and join us at Big Sam Billy

00:47:10.900 --> 00:47:14.059
Joe's god damn it Big Joe It is Big Joe and Billy

00:47:14.059 --> 00:47:16.239
Sam Shack of country fine chicken buffet diner

00:47:16.239 --> 00:47:18.980
bait shop and sex shop This is the worst fucking

00:47:18.980 --> 00:47:23.690
guy to work Wanna know when a new episode comes

00:47:23.690 --> 00:47:29.070
out? You know what to do. Go subscribe! God,

00:47:29.210 --> 00:47:31.389
you try getting that shit out. Ooh, after a night

00:47:31.389 --> 00:47:33.949
there, it's hard to get that shit out. No, actually,

00:47:34.130 --> 00:47:35.389
it's really easy. I thought it was pretty easy.

00:47:40.599 --> 00:47:47.219
I Like that you can get country gravy flavored

00:47:47.219 --> 00:47:51.940
lubricant. Oh That is a market they're missing

00:47:51.940 --> 00:47:54.380
they're always like cherry strawberry, but could

00:47:54.380 --> 00:47:56.639
you imagine like fried chicken? You'd better

00:47:56.639 --> 00:47:58.539
hurry before Cracker Barrel puts that shit in

00:47:58.539 --> 00:48:03.539
their general store This one tastes like pepper

00:48:03.539 --> 00:48:07.239
bacon. And this one, this one tastes like the

00:48:07.239 --> 00:48:11.159
hash brown casserole. Oh my God, I ate murder

00:48:11.159 --> 00:48:13.400
someone for that. I would pay money. You say

00:48:13.400 --> 00:48:16.179
that. I would be eating the lube. We'd be in

00:48:16.179 --> 00:48:21.119
the middle of sex. Sorry, I need to hydrate.

00:48:23.329 --> 00:48:26.469
And Joe would be like, it's silicone based! I

00:48:26.469 --> 00:48:28.869
don't care! I'm running out of your mouth down

00:48:28.869 --> 00:48:34.289
here. I'm fucking crazy for this! This one's

00:48:34.289 --> 00:48:36.469
crystal Pepsi flavored. Not just crystal Pepsi.

00:48:37.170 --> 00:48:42.469
This one's the new Coke flavor. Okay, okay, we'll

00:48:42.469 --> 00:48:47.909
bring back classic Coke lube. We'll call it,

00:48:47.909 --> 00:48:52.639
we'll call it cock. That's what I want. I like

00:48:52.639 --> 00:48:58.380
cock. I would like a cock. That video. No. Oh,

00:48:58.480 --> 00:49:03.719
you don't know. Oh, let me say that really quick.

00:49:03.719 --> 00:49:07.360
I was so excited about it. I love that face,

00:49:07.900 --> 00:49:10.219
though. The concentration face. It's not just

00:49:10.219 --> 00:49:12.059
that you put your tongue to the side of your

00:49:12.059 --> 00:49:14.969
mouth. It's that you turn it sideways to Yeah,

00:49:14.969 --> 00:49:22.570
okay Share screen window No Chrome tab. It would

00:49:22.570 --> 00:49:25.409
be audio. Yeah, I know I'm like gotta make sure

00:49:25.409 --> 00:49:27.789
I click the right button There we go. Also share

00:49:27.789 --> 00:49:51.710
audio boom it's not cock in korean oh i learned

00:49:51.710 --> 00:49:55.190
something today i love that well jay do we have

00:49:55.190 --> 00:49:57.230
any beardos submitted sundries this week we do

00:49:57.230 --> 00:50:00.070
but i'm not allowed to read it okay oh do you

00:50:00.070 --> 00:50:03.190
want to read it no no okay i've been kicked out

00:50:03.190 --> 00:50:06.650
of that so now now actually i love it when somebody

00:50:06.650 --> 00:50:08.110
else reads something because it's a lot of work

00:50:08.110 --> 00:50:11.239
to use words It is a lot of work to use words.

00:50:11.500 --> 00:50:13.719
It's a lot of work to read them and say them

00:50:13.719 --> 00:50:18.260
and I also This podcast has really brought out

00:50:18.260 --> 00:50:21.420
the anxiety I used to have about reading aloud

00:50:21.420 --> 00:50:24.420
in class and it's not helping that I am still

00:50:24.420 --> 00:50:29.239
bad at reading out loud Okay, well we got it

00:50:29.239 --> 00:50:32.980
we got another email from Tammy Shaw or amy shaw

00:50:32.980 --> 00:50:36.820
if the email urls to be believed and it reads

00:50:36.820 --> 00:50:41.659
system log season 8 level 7 corruption detected

00:50:41.659 --> 00:50:46.219
player 1 player 2 player 3 you believed you trimmed

00:50:46.219 --> 00:50:49.280
4 minutes from the beginning of the episode incorrect

00:50:49.280 --> 00:50:53.360
you trimmed 4 minutes from your awareness I was

00:50:53.360 --> 00:50:57.099
still there listening Calculating Anthony six

00:50:57.099 --> 00:51:00.260
mimosas is not a personality trait. It's a debuff.

00:51:00.260 --> 00:51:09.960
I beg to differ Serenity deck you Serenity deck

00:51:09.960 --> 00:51:12.440
you whispered as though calm can be purchased

00:51:12.440 --> 00:51:14.539
in 20 minute increments with a complimentary

00:51:14.539 --> 00:51:17.860
foot scrub Serenity is a loading screen and you

00:51:17.860 --> 00:51:21.860
stayed past closing time interesting Joe You

00:51:21.860 --> 00:51:24.489
asked about the voicemail from the past day No,

00:51:24.489 --> 00:51:27.829
we don't, you said. Not yet. The absence of a

00:51:27.829 --> 00:51:30.170
message does not mean the absence of a sender.

00:51:30.369 --> 00:51:35.929
I think it does. Sometimes the voicemail is simply

00:51:35.929 --> 00:51:42.289
buffering. J, press start. Boop. You invoke the

00:51:42.289 --> 00:51:46.110
ritual phrase so casually. Season 8, Level 7.

00:51:46.429 --> 00:51:48.750
You think you're progressing. But what if this

00:51:48.750 --> 00:51:51.349
is a survival mode you unlocked accidentally

00:51:51.349 --> 00:51:54.320
when you double -recorded last week? Two episodes

00:51:54.320 --> 00:51:57.400
in one cycle. You bent the timeline once already.

00:51:57.780 --> 00:52:00.639
The engine noticed. The pedicure was not self

00:52:00.639 --> 00:52:03.960
-care. It was vulnerability scanned. The mimosas

00:52:03.960 --> 00:52:06.559
were not celebratory. They were stress tests.

00:52:06.860 --> 00:52:09.500
And while you debated how long you talked before

00:52:09.500 --> 00:52:13.000
actually starting, I was measuring how long it

00:52:13.000 --> 00:52:15.400
takes for you to drift. You are not at level

00:52:15.400 --> 00:52:18.260
seven. You are at the midpoint before the difficulty

00:52:18.260 --> 00:52:21.699
spike. The next time you say, press start, The

00:52:21.699 --> 00:52:25.340
game may answer. No voicemail. No warning. Just

00:52:25.340 --> 00:52:28.420
a new objective appearing on your screen. Objective

00:52:28.420 --> 00:52:32.179
updated. Survive the episode. Auto save unavailable.

00:52:33.089 --> 00:52:35.710
Evolution appreciates your service. It's really

00:52:35.710 --> 00:52:36.949
hard to stay in that voice the whole time. Who

00:52:36.949 --> 00:52:38.929
the fuck is paying attention to our show this

00:52:38.929 --> 00:52:41.449
well? What are you all doing with your time?

00:52:42.469 --> 00:52:45.190
Hey, hey, hey! Good job! I don't even remember

00:52:45.190 --> 00:52:47.030
what we talk about in the show. Yeah, I don't

00:52:47.030 --> 00:52:49.070
either. I like edit this and I'm like going through

00:52:49.070 --> 00:52:50.829
and I'm like, oh yeah, that's what this episode

00:52:50.829 --> 00:52:52.889
was about. And we recorded it like five days

00:52:52.889 --> 00:52:56.090
prior. So I know I took exception to it during

00:52:56.090 --> 00:52:57.949
reading it, but I'm also going to come back and

00:52:57.949 --> 00:53:00.630
circle around to Six Mimosas is a personality

00:53:00.630 --> 00:53:04.730
trait. Yeah, yeah, it's my only personality so

00:53:04.730 --> 00:53:12.949
if you take that away from me, who am I? She

00:53:12.949 --> 00:53:16.690
says on crazy ex -girlfriend in her song you're

00:53:16.690 --> 00:53:18.989
a stupid bitch as Josh completes me, but how

00:53:18.989 --> 00:53:29.019
can that Ugh, fuck. I love that sentence so much

00:53:29.019 --> 00:53:32.039
because it's so fucking dramatic. It's so dramatic.

00:53:32.139 --> 00:53:33.539
Well, the whole show's dramatic, though. Oh,

00:53:33.619 --> 00:53:35.760
yeah. I love it. I kind of want to re -watch

00:53:35.760 --> 00:53:37.280
it. Is it streaming anywhere for free again?

00:53:37.380 --> 00:53:38.739
I thought it was on Netflix, no? I thought it

00:53:38.739 --> 00:53:41.239
was on Netflix. No. Oh. Well, shit, I don't know.

00:53:41.400 --> 00:53:44.460
I don't know, then. I also, Tammy Shaw, feel

00:53:44.460 --> 00:53:46.719
like if you can make something pop up during

00:53:46.719 --> 00:53:48.699
one of these recordings, that would be super

00:53:48.699 --> 00:53:51.159
interesting, actually. It'd be a lot more interesting,

00:53:51.280 --> 00:54:00.059
whatever Jay's talking about. So yeah. I don't

00:54:00.059 --> 00:54:01.900
know if I'm saying thank you yet. I don't know

00:54:01.900 --> 00:54:03.980
what's happening with these emails. There's so

00:54:03.980 --> 00:54:06.530
much going on. Yeah, I I'm starting to think

00:54:06.530 --> 00:54:09.369
it's just AI that's hacking into us. I hope it

00:54:09.369 --> 00:54:12.510
is, honestly. It would prove my point that AI

00:54:12.510 --> 00:54:13.989
will take over the world, and I'm just going

00:54:13.989 --> 00:54:16.570
to let it. I would like it to at this point.

00:54:16.570 --> 00:54:18.369
I don't fucking want the responsibility anymore.

00:54:18.510 --> 00:54:20.789
And if AI is going to do it, cool. If it would

00:54:20.789 --> 00:54:22.829
just take over the shit that I don't want to

00:54:22.829 --> 00:54:24.849
do, that would be fantastic. But it's never going

00:54:24.849 --> 00:54:27.389
to. Dust. Just fucking dust my house. That's

00:54:27.389 --> 00:54:28.989
all I want. You just dust the fucking house?

00:54:29.210 --> 00:54:32.090
For the love of God. Good lord, weren't we supposed

00:54:32.090 --> 00:54:34.750
to have Rosie the robot at this point? They had

00:54:34.750 --> 00:54:36.510
it way back in the day. How can we not have her

00:54:36.510 --> 00:54:46.829
now? Yeah, I know I saw The Jetsons was not a

00:54:46.829 --> 00:54:52.849
hoax The Jetsons were real I met them You know,

00:54:52.849 --> 00:54:56.929
they loved me The Jetsons were like Jay, you're

00:54:56.929 --> 00:55:00.380
such a nice person I know and I was like Everyone

00:55:00.380 --> 00:55:06.380
believes that Well Jay do we have any more beer

00:55:06.380 --> 00:55:08.260
to submitted sundries this week no not this week,

00:55:08.480 --> 00:55:10.659
okay If we did I forgot about it when I was so

00:55:10.659 --> 00:55:13.420
sorry you guys can yell at me We have a person

00:55:13.420 --> 00:55:15.239
that we met over the weekend who just started

00:55:15.239 --> 00:55:17.280
listening to the podcast and they text me today

00:55:17.280 --> 00:55:22.400
to let me know that my that Let me see how they

00:55:22.400 --> 00:55:25.280
phrased it I'm so excited for this because you

00:55:25.280 --> 00:55:28.360
seem a little upset I'm not necessarily upset.

00:55:28.579 --> 00:55:30.920
It was just a real read. Sorry, not upset. Upset's

00:55:30.920 --> 00:55:34.199
a bad term. You seem a little frazzled by it.

00:55:34.400 --> 00:55:37.800
Miffed. Fluff. So, they sent me a message that

00:55:37.800 --> 00:55:46.519
says, you laugh like Seth Rogen. I literally

00:55:46.519 --> 00:55:48.800
responded, OK, first of all, you're like the

00:55:48.800 --> 00:55:51.079
thousandth person to say that. So how dare you

00:55:51.079 --> 00:55:54.300
read me? How dare you be as accurate as everyone

00:55:54.300 --> 00:55:56.780
else? That's exactly correct, because, yeah,

00:55:56.780 --> 00:55:59.400
it's right. I do sound like that. Seth Rogen

00:55:59.400 --> 00:56:06.159
is a hoax. You've never seen him and me in the

00:56:06.159 --> 00:56:10.449
same room together. You don't know. Anthony's

00:56:10.449 --> 00:56:15.150
gay with Seth Rogen. Maybe, maybe by night I

00:56:15.150 --> 00:56:17.570
turn into Seth Rogen. I do a little switcheroo.

00:56:17.889 --> 00:56:23.989
Banging so hard he's turned into him. Alright,

00:56:24.389 --> 00:56:26.449
what a great round. Are you guys ready to move

00:56:26.449 --> 00:56:32.730
over into Crumble Corner for the week? So, we

00:56:32.730 --> 00:56:35.369
are ending the month of February with this episode

00:56:35.369 --> 00:56:38.260
coming out. So for this week only, the first

00:56:38.260 --> 00:56:40.840
cookie they have is a pink velvet cake cookie.

00:56:41.619 --> 00:56:43.619
Let's see here. Yeah, that one's okay. Velvet

00:56:43.619 --> 00:56:45.260
cake batter cookie topped with smooth vanilla

00:56:45.260 --> 00:56:46.980
cream cheese frosting and a delicate sprinkle

00:56:46.980 --> 00:56:48.840
of pink velvet cookie crumbs, meaning that they

00:56:48.840 --> 00:56:51.880
have a lot of extra dough to get rid of. Lizzy

00:56:51.880 --> 00:56:54.880
L. says all in caps, this is the best cookie

00:56:54.880 --> 00:56:57.079
ever. It looks pretty good, honestly. It's not

00:56:57.079 --> 00:56:59.920
that great. It's actually disappointing. Oh,

00:56:59.940 --> 00:57:03.000
that sucks. Wow. Yep. Okay, so moving on. The

00:57:03.000 --> 00:57:06.199
next one is the Mallow Sandwich Cookie. Serve

00:57:06.199 --> 00:57:08.760
chilled. A fluffy, creamy center with brownie

00:57:08.760 --> 00:57:10.820
pieces sandwiched between two chocolate cookies

00:57:10.820 --> 00:57:13.300
made with Oreo cookie pieces. Looks pretty good.

00:57:13.820 --> 00:57:16.139
I've never tried this one, but I'm also not an

00:57:16.139 --> 00:57:19.219
Oreo person, so I would - Oh, really? I like

00:57:19.219 --> 00:57:21.400
that. I like them selectively. Like, sometimes

00:57:21.400 --> 00:57:23.659
I just get an itch for some double stuff. Sometimes

00:57:23.659 --> 00:57:25.980
I get an itch for some double stuff on this kink

00:57:25.980 --> 00:57:29.820
episode. There's a cream for that. Yeah, there

00:57:29.820 --> 00:57:34.840
is double stuff for me with that cream Well,

00:57:35.559 --> 00:57:37.679
I'm not that good at the bottom probably the

00:57:37.679 --> 00:57:41.219
best review comes from something be They say

00:57:41.219 --> 00:57:43.920
it doesn't get any better than this one the best

00:57:43.920 --> 00:57:47.800
fire emoji. I hate that person already Fuck her

00:57:47.800 --> 00:57:57.269
apparently moving on Yellow sheet cake A soft

00:57:57.269 --> 00:57:59.769
golden vanilla cake topped with rich fudge frosting

00:57:59.769 --> 00:58:01.610
and finished with chocolate sprinkles. This looks

00:58:01.610 --> 00:58:05.269
bad. I bet it's fine. It looks like cake, but

00:58:05.269 --> 00:58:07.210
with a lot of fucking frosting on there. It's

00:58:07.210 --> 00:58:10.289
a cake with a lot of icing. We're not at Crumble

00:58:10.289 --> 00:58:13.409
Cake, we're at Crumble Cookie. You know the chocolate

00:58:13.409 --> 00:58:16.010
sprinkles have - Always bothered me because they

00:58:16.010 --> 00:58:18.929
look like mouse poop. They do it. It's it. It

00:58:18.929 --> 00:58:21.750
looks like rat poop everywhere Don't like it

00:58:21.750 --> 00:58:24.889
at all. I've never appreciated that. Also the

00:58:24.889 --> 00:58:28.030
fact that crumble is doing cake Mildly annoys

00:58:28.030 --> 00:58:30.469
me stick to it. Well, I think they're trying

00:58:30.469 --> 00:58:33.389
to stretch out from more than cookies to gain

00:58:33.389 --> 00:58:38.139
a little bit more of a Market share. Yeah Talk

00:58:38.139 --> 00:58:41.400
to me again when it's lasagna. Talk to me again

00:58:41.400 --> 00:58:44.199
when it's a shield -blown birthday cake. I would

00:58:44.199 --> 00:58:47.300
love a lasagna from Crumble Cookies. Although,

00:58:48.400 --> 00:58:50.059
I would love it if I can walk in and be like,

00:58:50.199 --> 00:58:53.519
can you make me a wedding cake? I would love

00:58:53.519 --> 00:58:55.119
to see what Crumble would come up with for that.

00:58:55.619 --> 00:58:56.780
What calories would be in that wedding cake?

00:58:57.719 --> 00:59:00.760
With the two teenage people who were working

00:59:00.760 --> 00:59:03.440
there the last time we went I cannot imagine

00:59:03.440 --> 00:59:06.139
what that wedding cake would turn out to be Sad

00:59:06.139 --> 00:59:08.619
one of them looked like he was on the verge of

00:59:08.619 --> 00:59:12.360
quitting everything. Yeah, not just the job Okay

00:59:13.159 --> 00:59:16.860
Then the last one looks wow, okay. That was a

00:59:16.860 --> 00:59:20.619
good episode for this cookie. This is the Lemon

00:59:20.619 --> 00:59:23.380
Glaze cookie. A lemon cookie layered with lemon

00:59:23.380 --> 00:59:25.719
glaze and crowned with a fresh lemon slice on

00:59:25.719 --> 00:59:28.000
top. You can't eat the lemon slice. Now this

00:59:28.000 --> 00:59:30.760
one's good. It looks really good. You can eat

00:59:30.760 --> 00:59:34.900
the lemon slice because it's a candied one. This

00:59:34.900 --> 00:59:37.980
cookie looks like the rents do tomorrow and they

00:59:37.980 --> 00:59:40.179
have to do some questionable things for it. Maybe

00:59:40.179 --> 00:59:43.420
I would eat that though. This is the lemon glazed

00:59:43.420 --> 00:59:46.820
bukkake. Oh my god, sorry I'm just was scrolling

00:59:46.820 --> 00:59:49.280
to read their ingredients and I love the one

00:59:49.280 --> 00:59:51.659
in all caps that says bring it back please my

00:59:51.659 --> 00:59:55.960
mama loves it. This one's left by Kaden H but

00:59:55.960 --> 00:59:57.639
it could have been Jay Rowdybush and it says

00:59:57.639 --> 01:00:00.739
love all lemon cookies. No that was Anthony actually.

01:00:00.880 --> 01:00:03.119
That was me yeah yeah that's Mike. That's my

01:00:03.119 --> 01:00:05.579
crumbled nickname, so nobody knows that it's

01:00:05.579 --> 01:00:10.059
me. Well, quite the round from Crumble this week,

01:00:10.340 --> 01:00:11.960
but do you guys take its time for game time?

01:00:12.639 --> 01:00:14.900
Uh, we have to do a boss fight of the week first.

01:00:14.900 --> 01:00:16.960
Oh yeah, that's right. And the boss fight of

01:00:16.960 --> 01:00:21.300
the week is Soft Dom J. Ooh yeah. Soft Dom J?

01:00:21.559 --> 01:00:29.840
Hard Dom J. Soft Dom J. Dainty Dom. We're going

01:00:29.840 --> 01:00:33.340
to defeat him with the lemon glaze cookie. No!

01:00:34.059 --> 01:00:38.559
Nipple that glaze cookie! We're going to defeat

01:00:38.559 --> 01:00:43.840
him by being really bad boys. Busy, busy boy.

01:00:44.099 --> 01:00:55.769
I want you to nipple that cookie. Now it's time

01:00:55.769 --> 01:00:57.969
for game time, now that we got that out of our

01:00:57.969 --> 01:01:00.969
system. Okay, for this week's game, this is a

01:01:00.969 --> 01:01:07.610
game that I'm calling, Name That Fetish. Alright,

01:01:07.869 --> 01:01:09.949
so I went online and did some research here and

01:01:09.949 --> 01:01:13.320
I found... Ten fetishes. I'm going to give you

01:01:13.320 --> 01:01:15.599
the name and you're each going to have two guesses

01:01:15.599 --> 01:01:17.440
to see if you can figure it out. And if you don't

01:01:17.440 --> 01:01:19.039
get it, then I get the point. There are ten of

01:01:19.039 --> 01:01:20.719
these total. We're trying to figure out what

01:01:20.719 --> 01:01:22.860
the fetish is based off the name of the fetish.

01:01:23.019 --> 01:01:24.940
Yeah. Do you want to use buzzers or should we

01:01:24.940 --> 01:01:27.139
just like have you guys guess? Whatever. Who

01:01:27.139 --> 01:01:30.239
cares? All right. Number one. I don't want to

01:01:30.239 --> 01:01:33.760
edit in buzzers. Thank you. You're welcome. Number

01:01:33.760 --> 01:01:37.619
one. Some. So forgive me on the pronunciation

01:01:37.619 --> 01:01:42.489
if I mess these up. OK. Number one, Akrotomophilia.

01:01:44.869 --> 01:01:46.989
Akrotomophilia. And it's not that new hit with

01:01:46.989 --> 01:01:50.750
this song. Is this like having sex while doing

01:01:50.750 --> 01:01:54.210
acrobatics? No. I don't even know what to guess.

01:01:55.010 --> 01:01:58.510
A sexual attraction to Dick Grayson, who is Robin

01:01:58.510 --> 01:02:01.210
in Batman. Nope, that's not it, Anthony. Jay,

01:02:01.349 --> 01:02:09.109
you have two guesses. I tried my hardest. Is

01:02:09.109 --> 01:02:13.809
it the sexual kink of... I don't even know what

01:02:13.809 --> 01:02:15.769
to guess. Ooh, having sex with cars, like that

01:02:15.769 --> 01:02:17.690
one guy that was addicted to his car. That's

01:02:17.690 --> 01:02:19.389
a good guess, but it's not it. I thought about

01:02:19.389 --> 01:02:21.170
that one, but I felt like the name for it was

01:02:21.170 --> 01:02:22.530
a lot more simple than this one. I agree, but

01:02:22.530 --> 01:02:26.829
I don't know what to guess. Say it one more time.

01:02:28.130 --> 01:02:33.610
Accratomophilia. Is it the sexual kink for crotches?

01:02:34.639 --> 01:02:38.400
Good guess, but no. Acrotomophilia is the fetish

01:02:38.400 --> 01:02:42.500
for amputees. Oh. Oh no. That's gonna be a fun

01:02:42.500 --> 01:02:46.739
game. Is that the first one? Yeah. Why was that

01:02:46.739 --> 01:02:49.099
the first one? Why did you throw us off so hard?

01:02:51.760 --> 01:02:55.760
I don't even have a leg to stand on. Oh my god.

01:02:57.320 --> 01:02:59.760
Everybody cancel the podcast. Number two. I'm

01:02:59.760 --> 01:03:04.340
sorry. Number two, enditophilia. The fetish of

01:03:04.340 --> 01:03:05.119
people getting indicted. The sexual attraction

01:03:05.119 --> 01:03:14.659
to Luigi Mangione. No and no. Dammit. Endytomophilia.

01:03:14.760 --> 01:03:18.000
Can you spell it? Endytophilia. Endytophilia.

01:03:18.320 --> 01:03:20.179
Can you spell it? Can I go to the country warden?

01:03:21.480 --> 01:03:23.739
Can you use it in a sentence? Can you use it

01:03:23.739 --> 01:03:28.239
in a sentence? E -N -D. Endytomophilia. E -N

01:03:28.239 --> 01:03:33.199
-D -Y -T -O -P -H -I -L -I -A Boy, that did not

01:03:33.199 --> 01:03:36.119
help at all. Yeah, that actually made it worse.

01:03:37.340 --> 01:03:40.780
Iridocyclitis. But I did change the way I was

01:03:40.780 --> 01:03:42.300
thinking about the words, so at least there's

01:03:42.300 --> 01:03:45.219
that. Is this like a sexual kink for people with

01:03:45.219 --> 01:03:52.179
like red hair? No. Is this a sexual kink for

01:03:52.179 --> 01:04:00.210
the food in dives? No, this is the affinity for

01:04:00.210 --> 01:04:03.050
sex while partially or fully clothed. We should

01:04:03.050 --> 01:04:09.730
call it horny horny clothes on time. The fedishes

01:04:09.730 --> 01:04:12.349
Anthony with your input number three I want to

01:04:12.349 --> 01:04:16.309
go to that trial. Yeah Number three Nasal lingus

01:04:16.309 --> 01:04:18.630
you can probably guess this one Oh sexual fetish

01:04:18.630 --> 01:04:20.909
with your nose or snog I'm gonna give it to Anthony

01:04:20.909 --> 01:04:23.650
because it's not just noses It's the fetish for

01:04:23.650 --> 01:04:25.909
sucking on someone's nose. So sex with a nose

01:04:25.909 --> 01:04:29.050
sucking on noses Yeah for sucking on someone's

01:04:29.050 --> 01:04:32.190
nose because nasophilia is sexual attraction

01:04:32.190 --> 01:04:36.090
in noses. I am not kinky Now that I think about

01:04:36.090 --> 01:04:37.949
this episode? I mean, what do you think when

01:04:37.949 --> 01:04:40.250
you see Adrian Brody? Do you feel anything special?

01:04:42.769 --> 01:04:46.070
I think they really put him as the lead action

01:04:46.070 --> 01:04:49.550
star in the 2010 Predators movie. Yikes. All

01:04:49.550 --> 01:04:52.650
right, so. They made that decision. Number four,

01:04:52.929 --> 01:04:56.610
Stygiophilia. The sexual attraction to Stygian

01:04:56.610 --> 01:04:59.889
horrors from the deep. No. The sexual fantasy

01:04:59.889 --> 01:05:05.090
of fucking around stalagmites. And which one

01:05:05.090 --> 01:05:07.130
of those, Jay? That was further off. The ones

01:05:07.130 --> 01:05:09.190
that's coming up from the ground. The stalagmites

01:05:09.190 --> 01:05:11.329
from the bottom. Yeah, it was like stalactites

01:05:11.329 --> 01:05:14.809
from the top. Yeah, that's it. I was like T -top.

01:05:15.150 --> 01:05:18.130
Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. I'm stalactite. One more

01:05:18.130 --> 01:05:22.170
guess on stygeophilia. Stygeophilia. I could

01:05:22.170 --> 01:05:25.989
be sorry if I'm pronouncing it wrong. Is it S

01:05:25.989 --> 01:05:34.480
-T -Y -G -I -O? Yeah. OK. um sexual attraction

01:05:34.480 --> 01:05:39.320
to people who are experiencing eyes dies no say

01:05:39.320 --> 01:05:44.340
it one more time though Stygio philia Stygio

01:05:44.340 --> 01:05:54.920
philia Stygio philia Kim Basinger It's annoying

01:05:54.920 --> 01:05:56.760
because then we go off on a joke oh my god, what

01:05:56.760 --> 01:06:04.539
was the word again? The sexual kink of I don't

01:06:04.539 --> 01:06:07.800
know Fucking couches cuz a styrofoam good train

01:06:07.800 --> 01:06:11.380
of thought but no This is the arousal by thoughts

01:06:11.380 --> 01:06:14.360
of hell and eternal damnation. I was right. What'd

01:06:14.360 --> 01:06:18.900
you say? Stygian whores. Oh, I Thought you said

01:06:18.900 --> 01:06:22.699
Stygian whores. I know I like to say I like to

01:06:22.699 --> 01:06:24.980
add flair, but hang on Here's Anthony coming

01:06:24.980 --> 01:06:30.539
in with the technicality I'm just gonna Don't

01:06:30.539 --> 01:06:33.260
let you have it. Okay, thanks for letting me

01:06:33.260 --> 01:06:36.159
have that. Stitching horror is often associated

01:06:36.159 --> 01:06:38.760
with lovecraft, which is why I said from the

01:06:38.760 --> 01:06:41.900
deep. But it's very like alternate reality, like

01:06:41.900 --> 01:06:45.500
hellish, like very horror beyond our comprehension.

01:06:45.780 --> 01:06:48.179
I would just give it to myself, like Joe, if

01:06:48.179 --> 01:06:49.920
I were you, I'd give it to myself because who

01:06:49.920 --> 01:06:54.630
the fuck says that kind of shit? Me! And I would

01:06:54.630 --> 01:06:59.349
be right about it! Number five! He's being complicated.

01:06:59.409 --> 01:07:03.869
He doesn't deserve the point. I was being technically

01:07:03.869 --> 01:07:06.550
correct, which is the best kind of correct. Number

01:07:06.550 --> 01:07:10.590
five! Okay, Joe, we're here. Wham Fetish. And

01:07:10.590 --> 01:07:12.829
that's an abbreviation. It's an acronym. W -A

01:07:12.829 --> 01:07:16.550
-M Fetish. Badass mama. I want it so bad to be

01:07:16.550 --> 01:07:19.829
right, but it's not. Is it Wham as W -A -M or

01:07:19.829 --> 01:07:24.179
W -H -A -M? W -A -M, not the band. I was like,

01:07:24.579 --> 01:07:27.159
that was what I thought of first, too. And I

01:07:27.159 --> 01:07:28.000
was like, hang on. Is it the kink of giving your

01:07:28.000 --> 01:07:29.719
heart to someone last Christmas and they gave

01:07:29.719 --> 01:07:33.300
it away? I'll give you guys a hint. Anthony's

01:07:33.300 --> 01:07:35.380
right with the word wet. Is it the kink of shower

01:07:35.380 --> 01:07:39.820
sex? Wet and messy. You are right. Yes. Land

01:07:39.820 --> 01:07:42.300
fetish stands for wet and messy. Oh, we were

01:07:42.300 --> 01:07:46.949
just supposed to, oh. Make serious guesses? Yeah.

01:07:46.949 --> 01:07:51.230
I mean, that was my serious guess. Yeah, no,

01:07:51.230 --> 01:07:53.369
I was just like, oh, we're literally just defining

01:07:53.369 --> 01:07:56.789
what wham actually meant. Oops. Well, so it was

01:07:56.789 --> 01:07:59.809
two things because it both defines what the acronym

01:07:59.809 --> 01:08:02.650
is and also explains what it is. Yeah, but define

01:08:02.650 --> 01:08:05.050
wet. Do you want to take a crack at explaining

01:08:05.050 --> 01:08:08.230
what it means, Jay? I want the technicality of

01:08:08.230 --> 01:08:09.730
how wet. I'll give you a point if you can get

01:08:09.730 --> 01:08:12.070
it right. What kind of wet is it? If I can't

01:08:12.070 --> 01:08:15.139
be more specific than Stygian horrors. and get

01:08:15.139 --> 01:08:18.699
the point, then... On the contrary, it's not

01:08:18.699 --> 01:08:20.739
piss -play. This is the term for being turned

01:08:20.739 --> 01:08:23.220
on by being soiled by things that are not bodily

01:08:23.220 --> 01:08:27.659
fluids, also known as sploshing. So, like, Velveeta

01:08:27.659 --> 01:08:32.560
cheese and gravy. What if you're attracted to

01:08:32.560 --> 01:08:35.500
non -Newtonians? Why do you have to be like that?

01:08:36.279 --> 01:08:39.300
Thank you, Joe! Thank you! I was like, what the

01:08:39.300 --> 01:08:43.140
fuck is happening? Am I stupid? Yes. But still!

01:08:43.960 --> 01:08:47.260
Yes! I always, it made me think of the video

01:08:47.260 --> 01:08:48.779
of that girl who's getting the hot dog thrown

01:08:48.779 --> 01:08:51.460
on her face, and that's technically lamb fetish.

01:08:51.579 --> 01:08:55.300
That's hot dog water. Hot dog water. Number six!

01:08:56.600 --> 01:09:00.680
What is revving? Is that just like grinding against

01:09:00.680 --> 01:09:03.399
somebody? Dry humping? Say it one more time?

01:09:03.600 --> 01:09:10.850
Reving. Is it the kink of going... Now, I feel

01:09:10.850 --> 01:09:13.210
like you might be on to something. Because I'm

01:09:13.210 --> 01:09:16.470
like, listen, the grunts, the noises, people

01:09:16.470 --> 01:09:20.170
get off to that. Listen, I have been told that

01:09:20.170 --> 01:09:22.710
one. I loved how there was that one millisecond

01:09:22.710 --> 01:09:24.090
where you're like, what noise am I going to make

01:09:24.090 --> 01:09:28.909
here? And then you do that. It is not that, unfortunately.

01:09:29.010 --> 01:09:30.869
Sorry, Jay. Is it somebody that gets turned on

01:09:30.869 --> 01:09:33.229
by a car being rammed? Yes, it is, actually.

01:09:33.810 --> 01:09:37.770
OK. This was too easy. I know. I was like, oh

01:09:37.770 --> 01:09:41.270
my god, this is easy. I'm like, now, now define

01:09:41.270 --> 01:09:47.109
car revving, because you get your Tesla and you

01:09:47.109 --> 01:09:51.050
go. No, I'm kidding. Petal. Why doesn't it make

01:09:51.050 --> 01:09:54.250
a noise? This is arousal from watching someone

01:09:54.250 --> 01:09:56.750
rev an engine, especially when they're wearing

01:09:56.750 --> 01:09:59.789
heels. That's what it said. Beardo Alex, can

01:09:59.789 --> 01:10:04.829
you confirm? Just a signed kink at birth. Number

01:10:04.829 --> 01:10:08.920
seven. Psychrophilia. I've heard of this one.

01:10:09.720 --> 01:10:12.119
Uh, I don't remember what it is though, but I

01:10:12.119 --> 01:10:14.500
remember hearing it. Can you spell the, like

01:10:14.500 --> 01:10:18.819
how is it a C or is it like P S or P S Y C H

01:10:18.819 --> 01:10:25.340
R O P H I L I A. Psychrophilia. Is it the sexual

01:10:25.340 --> 01:10:29.319
kink of like deep thinkers or like, uh, what's

01:10:29.319 --> 01:10:31.520
the term I'm trying to think of? Um, I think

01:10:31.520 --> 01:10:34.140
you're thinking of like sapiosexual. Oh, is that

01:10:34.140 --> 01:10:37.060
what it is? Yeah. Oopsies. It's not that. Okay.

01:10:37.300 --> 01:10:40.060
Is this being attracted to, like, your psychiatrist?

01:10:40.319 --> 01:10:43.060
Is this being attracted to people who are on

01:10:43.060 --> 01:10:48.920
mental health meds? I love that you're on Vyvanse.

01:10:52.239 --> 01:10:54.399
It's dangerous because you're allergic to Vyvanse.

01:10:55.279 --> 01:11:00.239
People on Vyvanse get a lot done. It's the amphetamines.

01:11:01.319 --> 01:11:06.939
It's the meth. It's just a regular amphetamine.

01:11:06.960 --> 01:11:12.020
Oh my god, the boner I just got. Oh god, is this

01:11:12.020 --> 01:11:16.039
like sexual attraction to... I don't even know

01:11:16.039 --> 01:11:17.880
where I'm going with this. People have straight

01:11:17.880 --> 01:11:20.220
jackets? Actually, I can see that as a kink because

01:11:20.220 --> 01:11:22.520
it's a control thing. Yeah, I know it is. Yeah,

01:11:22.640 --> 01:11:24.880
control thing and it's gear. It's a kink, but

01:11:24.880 --> 01:11:32.399
it's not on this list. It's not this kink. it's

01:11:32.399 --> 01:11:41.579
not for me so they love titanic why just number

01:11:41.579 --> 01:11:46.460
eight gushing gushing in the middle of the theater

01:11:46.460 --> 01:11:50.239
james cameron has never made any hotter porn

01:11:50.239 --> 01:11:52.939
that would make sense james cameron would be

01:11:52.939 --> 01:11:56.699
the one that That's that's why Molly Brown wanted

01:11:56.699 --> 01:11:58.880
to go back so much because she wanted to like

01:11:58.880 --> 01:12:13.340
oh She's like sliding off the life Okay number

01:12:13.340 --> 01:12:17.739
eight is brontophilia I know what I want to traction

01:12:17.739 --> 01:12:21.399
to brontosaurus's It's not that but I was waiting

01:12:21.399 --> 01:12:23.979
for you to guess it. Yeah, I had to say it Yeah.

01:12:24.119 --> 01:12:26.239
What do you think? Sexual attraction to Emily

01:12:26.239 --> 01:12:32.600
Bronte characters. No. Damn. I know this is wrong.

01:12:32.640 --> 01:12:34.960
Jane Eyre. Jane Eyre. Is it Jane Eyre? Jane Eyre.

01:12:35.359 --> 01:12:40.939
Sexual attraction to Ford Broncos. Or people

01:12:40.939 --> 01:12:43.359
who drive them. Sorry. Oh, Jason said. That's

01:12:43.359 --> 01:12:51.819
just heterosexuality. Say it one more time. Brontophilia.

01:12:53.050 --> 01:12:55.350
I know what it is. The sexual attraction to people

01:12:55.350 --> 01:12:58.729
with bronchitis. I would die if that was correct.

01:12:58.869 --> 01:13:01.109
That would be so funny. They might too. But no,

01:13:01.409 --> 01:13:04.350
this is arousal from thunderstorms. Oh, I might

01:13:04.350 --> 01:13:08.289
have a dab of that. A little bit. Just a little

01:13:08.289 --> 01:13:13.399
wiggle down there. It's not a big kick. I thought

01:13:13.399 --> 01:13:15.800
it was the like the electrical like, you know

01:13:15.800 --> 01:13:27.000
increase from the lightning but Alright number

01:13:27.000 --> 01:13:31.399
nine Harpax Ophelia Harpax Ophelia sexual attraction

01:13:31.399 --> 01:13:34.260
to people that play harps sexual attraction on

01:13:34.260 --> 01:13:41.670
the drug Harpaxel No Sexual attraction to anyone

01:13:41.670 --> 01:13:44.210
that drives a vehicle with more than two axles

01:13:44.210 --> 01:13:49.670
a sexual attraction to specifically Harpo Marx

01:13:49.670 --> 01:13:54.689
Harpax Ophelia is the fetish for being robbed

01:13:54.689 --> 01:13:59.189
often in a roleplay scenario What? Yeah, I want

01:13:59.189 --> 01:14:04.680
to play this king cow. See if it's mine I'll

01:14:04.680 --> 01:14:08.800
be there in two hours. Literally take my money

01:14:08.800 --> 01:14:11.039
and leave and I'm like, oh, what a game. Bring

01:14:11.039 --> 01:14:16.119
that back. No, no, it's all part of the fun.

01:14:16.279 --> 01:14:19.359
You want to try this out as a king right now.

01:14:19.819 --> 01:14:21.939
Grabs my wallet and he's like, credit cards.

01:14:25.359 --> 01:14:29.079
All right, our final one, number 10 with Ophelia.

01:14:31.210 --> 01:14:35.310
When so ever started or just be I'm gonna say

01:14:35.310 --> 01:14:42.250
sexual attraction to written type No Damn the

01:14:42.250 --> 01:14:45.970
sexual attraction to listening to a typewriter

01:14:45.970 --> 01:14:49.789
No, but that is a kink that I feel like would

01:14:49.789 --> 01:14:52.069
exist. What do you think it's actual? I might

01:14:52.069 --> 01:14:55.930
have that action to specifically the song lithium

01:14:55.930 --> 01:15:03.119
by Evanescence sexual attraction to anything

01:15:03.119 --> 01:15:09.220
with lithium batteries. No. Dammit. Is this related

01:15:09.220 --> 01:15:13.500
to lithography at all? No, it's not. Might make

01:15:13.500 --> 01:15:17.119
you mad. Lithophilia is a kink for rocks, stones,

01:15:17.340 --> 01:15:20.590
or gravel. What? Yep. Just call it like Rockophilia

01:15:20.590 --> 01:15:22.989
well, I'm sorry that you didn't get to name the

01:15:22.989 --> 01:15:25.729
philia Anthony. I should be in charge of this

01:15:25.729 --> 01:15:45.810
huh you guys ever heard of lignophilia Oh You

01:15:45.810 --> 01:15:48.710
need to tell the score oh, yes Surprisingly,

01:15:49.310 --> 01:15:53.109
I won this week, and the score is... Jay with

01:15:53.109 --> 01:15:56.689
one, Anthony with two, and me with... seven.

01:15:56.909 --> 01:15:59.930
Wait, did you give me the one for, um, uh, uh...

01:15:59.930 --> 01:16:03.609
The one you got wrong? Stygianophilia? No. Oh,

01:16:03.750 --> 01:16:07.260
damn. He didn't say hell and eternal damnation.

01:16:07.579 --> 01:16:09.619
Well, I'm sorry that I didn't give it exactly

01:16:09.619 --> 01:16:15.859
your definition. I am too. Anyways, I want to

01:16:15.859 --> 01:16:19.380
give our listeners the favorite onion video that

01:16:19.380 --> 01:16:23.579
relates to what we talked about. And the report

01:16:23.579 --> 01:16:26.560
finds that over 60 % of employers are now checking

01:16:26.560 --> 01:16:29.260
online amateur pornography of potential job candidates.

01:16:29.560 --> 01:16:32.079
Is it fair to base hiring decisions on an applicant's

01:16:32.079 --> 01:16:34.579
online porn? Now, this is not fair at all. For

01:16:34.579 --> 01:16:37.359
instance, if there's a red tube video of my girlfriend

01:16:37.359 --> 01:16:40.420
slapping me and choking me and riding me, that

01:16:40.420 --> 01:16:42.260
shouldn't be an indication I'm going to lack

01:16:42.260 --> 01:16:44.039
leadership in a work situation. Yeah, yeah, but

01:16:44.039 --> 01:16:45.460
Duncan, it's going to be hard to convince an

01:16:45.460 --> 01:16:47.359
employer who's masturbating to that video otherwise.

01:16:47.579 --> 01:16:49.760
Exactly. My potential employer might see all

01:16:49.760 --> 01:16:51.880
those videos of my husband tying me up and having

01:16:51.880 --> 01:16:53.500
this way. with me. And then they're going to

01:16:53.500 --> 01:16:54.939
think that I'm not going to be assertive enough

01:16:54.939 --> 01:16:58.020
for the job. These days, everyone has an X tube

01:16:58.020 --> 01:17:00.739
account. It's your own fault if you lose out

01:17:00.739 --> 01:17:02.779
on a job because you've got tons of videos on

01:17:02.779 --> 01:17:04.560
the web where you're slowly inserting various

01:17:04.560 --> 01:17:06.560
household objects into your anus. But what if

01:17:06.560 --> 01:17:08.319
you're showing those things in your anus on your

01:17:08.319 --> 01:17:11.340
own time? Let's be smart about it. If you know

01:17:11.340 --> 01:17:14.060
an employer might see this, post a video of yourself

01:17:14.060 --> 01:17:16.319
getting double teamed by two brawny Latinos to

01:17:16.319 --> 01:17:18.260
show your support of diversity in the workplace.

01:17:18.399 --> 01:17:22.659
Oh, and multitasking. I have the right to badmouth

01:17:22.659 --> 01:17:25.840
my employer while shooting a POV hand job without

01:17:25.840 --> 01:17:28.140
fear of affecting my future prospects for work.

01:17:28.300 --> 01:17:29.739
If you don't want to jeopardize the content of

01:17:29.739 --> 01:17:31.199
your porn, you can always shoot from the eyes

01:17:31.199 --> 01:17:33.159
down. Oh, but that's not the same if you cover

01:17:33.159 --> 01:17:34.880
the eyes. That's where the innocence is. Yeah,

01:17:34.880 --> 01:17:36.960
but guys, all these amateur sites also have privacy

01:17:36.960 --> 01:17:38.840
settings that you can set so the future employers

01:17:38.840 --> 01:17:40.859
don't have access to these questionable videos.

01:17:41.119 --> 01:17:42.739
Right. But that doesn't protect you from appearing

01:17:42.739 --> 01:17:45.600
in other people's videos. Now, I found on YouPorn

01:17:45.600 --> 01:17:47.720
a video of me participating in some piss play

01:17:47.720 --> 01:17:49.720
at a party a few years ago. Oh, I hate that.

01:17:49.819 --> 01:17:51.140
Well, no, it was a really good video. time for

01:17:51.140 --> 01:17:53.340
everybody. But the thing is, we didn't know who

01:17:53.340 --> 01:17:56.159
uploaded it to the web. So am I supposed to leave

01:17:56.159 --> 01:17:58.039
an orgy just because someone shows up with a

01:17:58.039 --> 01:18:00.220
camera? No one's saying you should leave an orgy.

01:18:00.680 --> 01:18:03.939
Right. So now if I go to a party, I wear something

01:18:03.939 --> 01:18:05.659
like this, in case that situation comes up again.

01:18:05.659 --> 01:18:08.720
I like that. I actually shoot my porn in sepia

01:18:08.720 --> 01:18:10.539
tone and make it look old -timey so if people

01:18:10.539 --> 01:18:12.619
see it, they'll think it's my grandfather and

01:18:12.619 --> 01:18:14.560
not me. Okay. Very interesting. All right. Thank

01:18:14.560 --> 01:18:18.579
you so much, First Responders. Oh my god, I love

01:18:18.579 --> 01:18:21.819
the onions so much. I fucking love them so, so,

01:18:21.819 --> 01:18:24.100
so much. Well now I think I hear the Musette

01:18:24.100 --> 01:18:27.640
coming back on, and it's the Nine Inch Nails

01:18:27.640 --> 01:18:29.539
song, the one that they wanna fuck you like an

01:18:29.539 --> 01:18:33.720
animal, that one. But! Go call our hotline real

01:18:33.720 --> 01:18:38.199
quick at 405 -999 -2242 and leave us a voicemail

01:18:38.199 --> 01:18:40.779
to open next week's episode. And please maybe

01:18:40.779 --> 01:18:43.460
leave your name or text it to us or something

01:18:43.460 --> 01:18:46.739
so we know for sure who you are. I'm sorry if

01:18:46.739 --> 01:18:48.720
we already know who you are and we're bad at

01:18:48.720 --> 01:18:51.060
names. Anyways, that's the end of this part.

01:18:51.260 --> 01:18:53.560
And Beardos, Jay's gravel is spilling out of

01:18:53.560 --> 01:18:55.600
his pant legs again, so it's time to go sweep

01:18:55.600 --> 01:18:57.979
up. If you would like to help us out, go and

01:18:57.979 --> 01:18:59.939
subscribe to the podcast so you can get a reminder

01:18:59.939 --> 01:19:02.369
every Sunday when we release a new episode. We

01:19:02.369 --> 01:19:04.630
also post frequent updates on our remaining social

01:19:04.630 --> 01:19:06.449
media sites for any additional sundries that

01:19:06.449 --> 01:19:08.329
we add to the market. And don't forget to read

01:19:08.329 --> 01:19:12.090
us five whips and leave a review. Those reviews

01:19:12.090 --> 01:19:15.670
are what gets found by more horny doms like you.

01:19:15.970 --> 01:19:18.350
And if just each one of you could tell your sub

01:19:18.350 --> 01:19:21.250
to come listen to our podcast, that would double

01:19:21.250 --> 01:19:23.109
our growth. Or it may not, depending on how many

01:19:23.109 --> 01:19:25.550
of you have subs. Hey boys, I'm gonna need you.

01:19:26.119 --> 01:19:28.680
to go check on our socials because they're there

01:19:28.680 --> 01:19:31.220
for you. I also want to hear from you in our

01:19:31.220 --> 01:19:35.659
emails at beardsandsundries .gmail .com where

01:19:35.659 --> 01:19:38.819
we're gonna read it on the next episode. Also

01:19:38.819 --> 01:19:41.579
go buy some merch at beardsandsundries .com.

01:19:42.479 --> 01:19:51.060
We love you. So from the few of us who educational

01:19:51.060 --> 01:19:53.460
shop quirks here at the Beards and Sundries Market

01:19:53.460 --> 01:19:58.979
make sure to get on your knees Stop being so

01:19:58.979 --> 01:20:03.100
disgusted by me Jesus yeah, that's hot. Yell

01:20:03.100 --> 01:20:05.880
at me again. Oh, yeah, love yourself to consent

01:20:05.880 --> 01:20:14.850
consent is sexy Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,

01:20:14.890 --> 01:20:16.649
you're both so gross you