Hey, hey, hey, it's Chaos Queen here, and you're
listening to the Geekcast Radio Network. Hey,
it's Mistress Carrie, and you are listening to
Studio 2009. Shall I make it a telegram? Oh,
Lord, no. A letter will suffice. I dislike sending
telegrams or receiving them. There's something
about a telegram that makes one feel that some
kind of tragedy has occurred. All right, ladies
and gentlemen, this is Any Old Bart in a Storm,
Studio 2009, Episode 172, Season 3, Episode 2
of The Columbo Files here on the Geekcast Radio
Network. This episode that you're about to hear
was recorded a year ago. I'm, of course, TF2
and Mike. Joining me for this brief interlude
before the episode is none other than Mr. David
Draper. Hello, sir. How are you? I'm okay. You're
okay? Uh -oh. We talked about this before the
thing. I had a rough year last year, and I need
to get it back in the game. Well, I had a rough
year last year, too. I know you did. Two things
can be true at the same time. Yes, yes, yes.
Absolutely. 2025 was a very odd year, and we
need to get even with it. That was clever, actually.
Yeah. I just, oh God, I just laughed at my own
joke. Anyway, episode 172, Any Old Port in a
Storm, before we get to one of the best episodes
of Columbo ever. Your folks favorite. That's
right. We have some official Studio 2009 GCRN
business to handle. We know. I've understood
in 17 years of podcasting that people find the
podcast episodes later after they've already
been published. And, you know, that's the whole
point of podcasting is you're not going to always
find things right away and everything else. And
our podcasts publish everywhere. It's not just
to geekcastradio .com. They publish to Apple
Podcasts, to Spotify, to whatever you can think
of. They also publish on the geek. cast radio
network LLC, YouTube channel, and they publish
as static image. Podcast episodes, it's just
audio. The first thing you hear, when you hit
play on any one of our podcast quote -unquote
videos on our YouTube channel, the first thing
you'll hear is the same thing you'll hear on
the podcast. Whomever I choose to introduce the
show and to say, you're listening to the Geekcast
Radio Network. Whoever's voice I choose to, like,
it could be Gary Chuck, it could be... Adam Mastriani,
who is a friend of ours. It could be whomever
it is. It could be Maurice LaMarche because we
interviewed him years ago. It could be whomever
it is because we have all these celebrities and
voice actors that we've interviewed in the past.
And to me, when I look at a YouTube video, I
don't go on YouTube to watch television shows.
I go to Tubi. I go to Hulu, Disney, Hulu, whatever,
because Hulu is a part of Disney now. Peacock,
Netflix, whatever. I don't go to YouTube to seek
out television shows. I go to YouTube to find
unique, interesting videos that are things you're
not going to watch on a TV channel kind of thing.
So the reason why I'm bringing all of this up
is because when I comment on YouTube videos,
I know it's not a dang TV show. It's a YouTube
video. It's a podcast. It's a whatever. Especially
if I look at a static image and I hear somebody
else's voice, I know the difference. So apparently...
Somebody commented on our Season 1, Episode 1,
Episode 111 of Studio 2009, which is Prescription
Murder, which we published a year ago, technically
two years ago in 2024. But according to YouTube,
it was published a year ago. This person says,
you're deceitful. Who TF? wants to listen to
you, make people think this is the full episode.
Now, Steve Megatron, who is my best friend in
the world, who co -created the Geekast Radio
Network with me, already handled this perfectly
by explaining what this is. So we're not here
to really address the whole commenter thing.
I'm more so wanting to discuss the fact of how
do you go on YouTube and not realize? It's not
the actual television show when you clearly see
a podcast artwork and it's not a moving picture
and you hear something that is not the opening
of a television show. Like how, just in general,
not to this person specifically, how dumb do
you have to be? How stupid is this world become
that you're not paying attention to it? And the
other thing is. The title of the episode, it
first thing says, 111, The Columbo Files. Like,
do you not know? Do you not understand? Like,
The Columbo Files isn't even the name of the
damn TV show. The name of the show is Columbo.
Like... The name of the show is like the NBC
mystery movie. Okay. but like later when it was
the actual show. Yeah. Like if you buy it on
DVD, it's Columbo. Yeah. It's Columbo. I mean,
I just don't understand this. I don't understand
people. I don't understand how people can not
like, and I get it. Most people will go on YouTube
or looking for this stuff. But again, it's like,
it's one of the reasons why in every episode,
when I make the episode post, And we specifically
have said in episodes, we watch this series on
Tubi or we watch, you watch, you have the DVDs.
I watch it on Tubi. Tubi is a free television
service with ads. You can go on to Tubi .tv right
now and watch Columbo for free. Like we are not
going to put video on our YouTube channel that
we don't own. We're not pirates. We're not going
to do stupid shit like that. Why would we do
that? We've never done that. I don't understand.
What the hell? You know what I mean? You're really
overthinking all of this. I probably am. You're
probably correct. I do sometimes watch TV on
YouTube. Or specific shows. I've never watched
a full movie, but they often advertise heavily
that, you know, watch this movie. Some old, like,
loser movie that nobody really cares about. I
watch. You know, I listen. Instead of, like,
going. What I'm trying to say is I think for
some people, YouTube. I mean, I am. Technically,
I'm not, like, actually a boomer. But, I mean,
in terms of every generation past me, I'm a boomer.
I'm not super, you know, internet savvy. And
when I go for walks in the park, there are podcasts
that I listen to from YouTube as opposed to the
other podcasts, Stitch and whatever. What I'm
saying is I use YouTube very heavily for a multitude
of things, and I can see other people doing that.
And it's like I can see this guy probably not
very savvy about Columbo. I don't know why he
even wanted to watch it, but he saw Columbo's
face, he was like, oh, and he probably saw the
title, clicked on it, and he probably tweeted
within the first couple seconds that it wasn't
an actual episode, and he's like, oh, you're...
What I'm saying is, you make it sound like he
listened to the whole thing and then was like,
well, this is a podcast. I don't understand.
I think he very quickly realized that this wasn't
what he thought it was. He's probably just lazy.
it was lazy and ill -educated. And I mean, I'm
looking at the thing and it's, you know, like
I think if you're paying attention, you can tell
that it's a podcast about Columbo, but like,
yeah. You know, the fact that it's the same thing
for every episode, you know, the same thumbnail
for every episode. Yeah. But this is a random
guy who wanted to, a quick, cheap, you know,
episode of Columbo. And yeah, I mean, did he
really need to, I mean, I just feel like the
guy was like, yeah, this sucks. You suck. I mean,
it's like some punk kid going, you suck. Like,
okay. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know. I really feel
like you took this way too personally. It's not
that I took it personally. At the end of the
day, I really don't care. I just wanted to come
on and say, hey, look, huge difference between.
an actual television show and a podcast. And
the fact that he comes on here and says, but
if you're not paying attention and you click
on the thing, it's like, yeah, like, like you're
deceitful. Who the fuck wants to listen to you?
Make people question. No, it's not. Shut up,
Dave. It's not. I'm including myself in that,
by the way. I'm not just attacking you. You as
in all of us. Yeah. Make people think it's the
full episode. Now, that last line. Yeah. Make
people think it's the full episode. We have never
done that. If you look at the description, in
episode 111 of Studio 2009, join TF2 and Mike
and David Draper as they grab their trench coats
and their... Oops, I need to fix that. Head into
the world of Columbo. This new series here inside
Studio 2009. So join Mike and Dave as they get
to sleuthing. With Lieutenant Columbo, every
episode from every season in order will be reviewed.
Will be reviewed. Like, this is not saying that
we're showing the episodes. None of that description.
Who reads the description, though? Like I said,
this guy was probably just cruising. I mean,
I will only ever read the description if there's
something I really want to know. I'm hoping that
information will be in the description. But I
usually do that, like... As I'm watching it,
nobody reads the description before clicking
on the video. This guy saw Columbo. For some
reason, he wanted to watch Columbo. It doesn't
really strike me as the kind of Columbo viewer.
But he clicked on it, realized immediately it
wasn't what he thought it was, and he was annoyed.
And so he left an angry comment. You guys thought
you were deceptive. Maybe he looked at the time.
Because that was my thing. The time really doesn't
measure out to even a movie episode of Columbo.
It's like one hour and two minutes and 59 seconds.
Yeah, that's not a normal run time for any TV
show. Yeah, exactly. It's just this guy was lazy
and just, I mean, he cared enough to leave a
comment, but like, I don't know. Like, I really
think you're ascribing far more malice to this
guy who was just like, well, the fuck? Yeah.
And the funny thing about this first episode
way back when, two years ago, It has 2 ,945 views
on YouTube, so yay us. Apparently somebody wants
to listen to it. Exactly. So there's that. All
right, folks, up next. Up next, ladies and gentlemen,
sit back and prepare to watch the wonderful episode,
Any Old Port in a Storm, complete and uncut.
It's actual video quality. It's a great episode,
and we hope that you enjoy watching it here on
the Geekcast Network. The Geekcast Radio Network,
LLC. Yes. It's going to be a blast. I hope there
wasn't any blasts in that episode. I don't remember.
It's been a year or so since we watched it. Oh,
that's right. You freaked out because the guy
was still twitching when he left him. That's
right. He was still twitching. I'm like, oh,
boy. Sequel. Enjoy, folks. We'll catch you later
on. I'm just happy you didn't report me to my
superior. There is nothing wrong with this podcast.
Do not attempt to adjust the volume. Hello and
welcome back into our studio. This is Studio
2009. You are here on the Geekcast Radio Network
with us. I am, of course, TF2 at Mike. Joining
me is Dave Draper. Hello, sir. How are you? I'm
well. How are you? Pretty good. Pretty good.
Today we continue on in our journey as we put
our trench coats on and jump back in time with
Columbo. These are the Columbo files here inside
Studio 2009, and as always, starting at the beginning,
going forward in order. I'm watching on 2BTV,
Dave has the Complete Series DVD set, and today
is Season 3, Episode 2, and we are stuck in the
annual port in a storm. Which apparently I missed
the whole double entendre because I am not a
wine connoisseur. I was raised on beer. Like
Columbo. Well, he mentions that he got to stomp
on the grapes and they had some wine. His dad
was a tail gunner on a beer truck. Yep. Doing
probation. Yep. Absolutely. This was fun. I love
this episode. Okay, good, because, like, your
response to the thing before we started recording
was a little kind of nebulous. Oh, really? Yeah,
and I kind of, like, because this apparently
is Peter Falk's favorite episode. Yeah. I sent
you a little thing about that, and I was like,
oh, you didn't like that one? I thought it was
a really fun episode. I thought Donald Pleasance
was a great, was really game. You know, connecting
with our previous episode, another horror icon.
Although he wasn't one yet. Yes. It would be
another five years before he visited Haddonfield,
Illinois. Yes, exactly. I love the pause where
you're like, huh? On Halloween. Oh, yeah. I don't
do horror, man. I respect the genre, and I respect
and admire the people who love the genre. I don't
do horror, and I don't do slasher films. But
you know what? I know my history, and I know
the iconic ones. Yeah, I know the iconic ones
sort of adjacently. Like, you know, horror to
me is that adjacent area right over there. so
yeah but no no no i i like this episode again
but i like okay i like this more than i like
the first episode we've said this a dozen times
but we'll record two episodes in a day so yep
I see he's an Italian, and we Italians, we've
got to stick together. Anyway, any old port in
a storm, you sent, what did you send me? You
sent me, do you know where he explains why it's
his favorite episode? No, I sent you a clip,
or not a clip, but like a screenshot from a very
click -baity article where he talks about why
it's his favorite episode. And then I sent you,
there's a guy in, Sweden, I want to say, who
takes clips from stuff, specifically Columbo
and Red Letter Media, which is like, you know,
just add Jurassic Park and you've got my perfect
Venn diagram. And he makes weird little music
videos out of, like, random clips. So there's
a line at the very end of the episode where Donald
Pleasance flips out and goes, this liquid filth.
Yes. The whole music video about the liquid filth.
Yes. Yeah, Noiseland. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And what
Columbo had said in the blurb was that even though
the character, what Fox said about Columbo, even
though the character was always disheveled and
whatever else, he always had high respect and
praise for the higher. The finer things in life.
Like, the guy likes the finer things in life.
He just doesn't think he needs, you know, like,
he's a simple man, man. Yeah, and it's, this
is, there's actually a lot going on in this episode.
Yes. First of all, it's the first appearance
of this old man, which is kind of, like, unofficially
Columbo's theme song. This old man, he plays
one, he plays knick -knack on his thumb. Yep.
This is the first time you hear that, and I was
like, I knew that it was there somewhere. What
really blew my mind was we get multiple mentions
of the wife. Yes. And we get mentions of a child?
I was like, wait, what? That was my last note.
Literally, I stopped taking notes after he says
my wife and my kid. I'm like, wait. He mentioned
babysitter. First he said, I'll go with you guys,
but I've got to get a babysitter. I'm like, for
what? And then later he mentions he does have
a kid. I'm like, holy cats. Yeah, I was like,
huh? Yeah. No, this one was so good. And my biggest
sticking point for this entire episode up until...
poor rick gets thrown off a cliff i swear to
god after he gets hit after the wine snob hit
half brother okay let's let's let's set up the
episode real quick um because i know what you're
gonna say and so it takes place in the cassini
winery yeah and donald pleases plays uh the guy
who so he runs the winery but he doesn't own
it his half brother rick owns it But like their
father established the winery. Yep. And it's
Adrian, right? Adrian Cassini is Donald Pleasance.
He runs the winery. He's a he's a wine snob.
He got all the money in the will. And Rick, the
half brother, got the actual land. And Rick is.
I mean, it's interesting. He's kind of like they're
both kind of flawed. And Rick has decided he's
going to sell the land. to uh what was the minari
brothers yeah um basically to like guys who make
wine no that's not box wine and and adrian is
an uber wine snob i mean he there's literally
a line about how he won't steal he'll he'll vent
10 bottles and never sell them Well, I didn't
say the Scolari. God. Not the Scolari, brother.
I didn't say they were snobs. Adrian is the snob.
I called them slobs because he calls them slobs
because that's the thing. To him, they are lower
class. They are people he doesn't like. They're
box wine guys. Yeah. He says, like, what, like
23 cents a gallon? I can't remember the actual
price, but yeah, they're the cheapo wine guys
that sort of crank him out. And he freaks out
and he clocks his brother with something. We
have a debate. Neither one of us was apparently
paying enough attention. I thought it was a phone.
You thought it was a vase. I don't think it was
a vase because I didn't hear it break. I don't
know what it was. All I know is that scene when
Adrian clocks his brother with whatever blunt
force object that it is, it just reminds, like,
what I said was to you off air, I said, it's
like, you know, Colonel Mustard in the library
with the candlestick. It literally reminded me
of Clue, that scene, because after he hits his
brother, I swear to God. And I have the audio.
You think I'm going to let some ignorant Neapolitan
turn it into a wild heaven? I don't think you
have any choice. Yes, I do. He's still alive.
Yeah. He is still alive. That's the whole thing.
Like, if you pay attention to the dialogue, he
has, like, a wine cellar, wine vault. Yes. And
he drags his brother into the wine vault. And
there's this whole thing we're kind of skipping.
There are some other snobs there who are going
to make him wine snob of the year. And his secretary
is kind of coming in and out. And this is all
taking place on a Sunday. And he's trying to,
like, dance around these guys. It's like a 70s.
where the guy's dating two girls at once. It's
like, I'm trying to do my Adrian Cassini stuff
and also murder this guy. He knocks him out and
he drags him into the wine vault and he turns
off the air conditioning. This is central to
the plot. Air conditioning and like the moisturizer
and he ties his brother up and then leaves him
in the vault and then he goes off to New York
for like a week. And when he comes back, you
can tell that the brother had been thrashing
around before he died. They leave on a Sunday.
The coroner eventually establishes that the guy
died on a Tuesday, and then he's into scuba diving,
and he's got a fancy sports car, the brother.
So Adrian, like, loads up the body. He's dragging
his body around, which I said off air, reminds
me of the Martin Landau episode where, like,
one man could not carry an old man body around,
but, like, poor little, portly Donald Pleasence
is carrying this big, muscly goon around all
over the place. He puts him in the scuba gear.
And chucks him off a cliff and leaves the car.
Yeah. Now, it's also important that the car is
a convertible. Yes. Because on the day that he
died, I think either the day he died or the day
after. But one of the days of the week that the
car was supposed to be sitting there with his
top off, it rained. No, the day he was supposed
to be diving, it rained. Yeah, yeah. It was Thursday,
the blah -biddy -blah -blah -blah. But it was
a Thursday, I think. So that's part of it because
this car has, like, blush carpeting for some
reason. Yep. 70s. So the whole thing is he was
alive when he was left in the vault. They specifically
show him breathing on purpose to establish that
Donald Pleasant let him die. That was one of
the plot points was that the coroner goes, he
hasn't eaten for two days before he died. And
Columbo asks the fiance, was he like that? Was
he on a weird fat diet? Like, yeah. No, it's
actually kind of gruesome in a way. Very. And
then the whole thing is, during the time that
they're gone, there was like a heat wave. There
was like a really super hot day. And because
he had the air conditioning turn off in the vault,
all the wine spoil. Yep. But he's gone, so he
doesn't know that happened. Yep. Because Columbo.
Goes in there and gets a bottle of his wine and
takes it to the restaurant. Oh, man. I love this
episode. At the end, the whole thing is Columbo
goes, I'm real sorry that I've been bugging you
all this time. Let's go and I'll take you out
to the nicest restaurant in town. I'll pay for
everything. And part of it was that during the
establishing of the vault. Columbo is like, are
you sure you can't get locked in here? And Pleasance
goes full ham. He's like, I'm going to go outside.
I'm going to close the door and let you figure
out how to escape. And when he does that, Columbo
steals a bottle of the port. So like he's kind
of been planning, which is weird that he was
planning this final solution all along. But like
he did establish before he goes into the vault
that he talked to his wife and was like, you
remember that day that was really, really hot?
What day was that? Um, so, and then at the end
he is, he, as a gesture of goodwill, he takes
him out to dinner and then he has the wine guy.
I think it's Somalia. I might be wrong on that.
I am not cultured. Um, but it has him bring this
one port. And of course Donald is like, Oh, that's
a really rare port. I have one of those myself.
And then they, they, they drink the wine and
like, uh, the, the secretary and Columbo are
both like, Yeah, this is pretty good. And he's
like, this is terrible. It's spoiled. It's ruined.
An exciting meal has been ruined by this liquid
filth. And then he kind of, somewhere, they mention,
oh, yeah. Somewhere it clicks in his head. Oh,
okay, so it was really hot this one day when
I was gone. My wine's all spoiled. It's going
to let them know that I turned off the air conditioning
in my vault. So it ends with him at that same
cliff, I guess, throwing bottles of his wine.
spoiled wine into the ocean and then colombo's
there because colombo knew that's what he was
going to do yep this was so fun again you got
your normal standard plot of okay they're technically
half brothers but let's just say brother versus
brother one wants to do one thing the other one
wants to do the other thing the other one doesn't
want to do And of course, one's going to kill
the other one. So that way, the one that wants
to get his way can get it very literally pinky
in the air is Adrian kind of person like has
to have everything his way. Yada, yada, yada.
Well, there's a line about dad gave us something
and his his mother was English and gave him the
breeding. Yes. Yeah. And. And again, it just...
I wish... Okay, we all know writing for television,
for movies, is a huge part of it, obviously.
People have to create the stories, they have
to create the characters, and then the actors
get to bring the characters to life. Everybody
but Hollywood producers. Okay. Yes, yes. Sorry,
a little cynical there. Uh -huh. I understand.
My whole point in even saying any of that is
that I wish writing today was as good as... Yes,
some of this, some of Columbo has been very predictable
because we've seen, like, Columbo's over 50 years
old. We get it. Okay, fine. It is what it is.
But, man, if he isn't one of the, if not the
best... television detective characters that
have ever existed. Just everything in... Even
the last episode, even though I didn't generally
like the overall episode, I still like watching
how he is in these episodes. But this episode
has a villain you love to hate, has a half -brother
character that... You don't really get attached
to, but you kind of feel sorry for, because obviously
the poor schmuck got murdered. But you kind of
get to know how different he was to his half
-brother. And then you get the secretary. So
you got her. I remember her being a bigger deal
than she turned out to be. At the very end, she
has figured out something happened, and she lies
to Columbo and then tries to manipulate Adrian.
into being something a little bit more than just
a secretary. Yes. Yeah, that doesn't work out
for her. Well, it's because Adrian gets caught
and he's kind of like, he literally says it's
kind of a relief because actually her name is
literally Karen. Yeah. Karen was putting the
thumbscrews to me. She was quite the little Iron
Maiden. Yes, yes, she was. Karen, one might say.
And this was obviously before the whole. Yeah,
yeah. Obviously, 50 years before. Yeah, yeah.
I'm just that's why it was funny and ironic that
that was her name. Yes, absolutely. I don't I
always think of Becky's when I think of that
kind of character, because, yeah, boy, you ain't
never seen a woman so angry than you would see
my wife at the mention of her name was Karen.
And she was nothing like how that personality
is. It's like, oh, boy. And every time they brought
it up, she would demand to see the... No. It's
a joke. I know. I know. But no. Pretty easy one.
Yeah, I don't know. I know. Uh -huh. Uh -huh.
No, no. Also, does she have the hair? Karen doesn't
have the hair. On the show, the character Karen
does not have the hair. She's got, like, long...
Sissy Spacek coal miner's daughter hair, which
I think was a big 70s thing. My Karen had Cousin
It hair. Which is kind of like TV Karen. but
her personality was nothing like no no no obviously
no no i know i don't know i know i'm just saying
like every time like when that whole thing started
my first thought was wait a minute i thought
we used to call this the way that this personality
thing was wasn't that becky from the old becky
like and i don't know why i had to whatever and
and she would just go oh like she's like i'm
nothing it's kind of like um another thing that
has happened in hollywood lately or not necessarily
lately but um in the past um the slap heard around
the world yeah Keep your wife's, my wife's name
out your mouth. I swear, every time she would
hear, she's like, keep my name out your mouth.
Oh, boy. That's hilarious. But, yeah, no, she
turns out to be. Quite the little Iron Maiden,
as Adrian says. Yes. And that, luckily, he gets
caught before anything happens to her. Ooh, yeah.
Like a lot of times in Columbo episodes, finding
out the guy did it is not the best. Letting the
guy know that you know you did it is not the
best move. No. As we found out in the last episode.
Yeah. Exactly. Well, again, this was like both
of the ones we've talked about today, and I realize
there are two different episodes for the listeners,
feel more like passion isn't the right word,
but like crime to passion. Yeah. And usually
a lot of Columbos, traditionally have the elaborate
scheme that the killer has already come up with.
And part of the intro is to establish why he
wants to enact the scheme. Yeah. Very mousetrappy.
Whereas in these two, it's been someone provoked
you and you lashed out. Yeah. And then you kind
of, well, she didn't really come up with a scheme
for Martin Sheen, but yeah, Adrian comes up with
a pretty elaborate scheme to get rid of his brother.
Yeah. Very elaborate. And I didn't even realize
that was a scuba suit that he put him in. I thought
he put him in two trash bags. Oh. I didn't even
realize it was the scuba suit. Yeah, no, I kept
looking. I kept looking at the body in the water,
and I'm like, he put him in two trash bags. Well,
even when he was in the water, because you see
the tank. Yeah, I know. All I kept seeing was
the black part of the stuff. I don't know. But,
yeah, no, this one was so fun. I really enjoyed
this. I mean, it really sort of does highlight
that the guest star really makes a difference
because he brings a lot of character and personality
to the role. Yep. And, you know, I think it gives
Columbo something to add. This was very classic,
traditional, what you think of with Columbo,
where, like, you know. Because he's actually,
throughout the entire, even at the very end,
I love how at the very end, well, there's the
little bits between them where he's like, was
that day that it was really hot, was that a record?
I would have liked it to have been a record.
And they stop right at the end of the winery,
and they have a little dessert wine. It's just
this weird little kindness that Columbo shows
to this guy, because I think he genuinely likes
him, but he undid a bad thing. Yeah, Columbo,
the way the TV show goes, it's weird. Certain
criminals are treated a certain way. Other criminals
are treated a certain way. I think a lot of it
depends on how they react around Columbo. Right,
but normally something like this, you would have...
at least one officer there to take the criminal
away to like this is just hey let's let's get
in my like literally he doesn't even handcuff
him let's get in my car let's have some dessert
wine and then you're going to jail like we know
the guy's gonna go to jail obviously hello because
you can't just like Columbo's not a corrupt cop.
We know that, obviously. But it's one of those
things where I think that over three seasons
so far of this television show, yes, every criminal
is a different case and every criminal is a different
circumstance, but... I think sometimes some of
them need to have some sort of similarity to
them. This one was fine. This one, it is what
it is. But I just noticed, like, he basically
has no other officers with him. I think he has
his sergeant with him. Not when he arrests him.
Not when he arrests him? Okay. No, he's all by
himself. Because they're in the Peugeot, which
I don't think it has room for three people. No,
it doesn't. Which is funny because the Peugeot
shows up earlier in the episode. It was before
he was on the phone with his wife. Yeah, it was
when they drive up to the thing and he sees a
sports car. Yes, yes, yes. He drives up and he
sees a sports car. And they start talking about
the cars. The line I wrote down is a line from
30 years ago. The car. Chicks dig the car. It
was the only thing I could think of because it's
from Batman Forever because that movie is 30
years old this year. And then what was funny
to me is he's on the phone with his wife after
that scene. She reminds him that when he goes
to the store, get a head of lettuce and two quarts
of milk. Yep. He says, OK, thank you. And he
hangs up. They don't. I don't say I love you.
Yeah. Obviously, we don't hear her into the conversation.
I don't know what she said, but he doesn't say,
I love you. I was like, wait, what? Wait a minute.
This is your wife. Come on now. Maybe agreeing
to buy a head of lettuce and two quarts of milk
is his love language. Maybe. That struck me as
weird, too. Yeah. And then, like we already mentioned.
My wife and my kid. I was like, whoa, okay, I
know you mentioned babysitter the whole time.
I don't think he mentioned. The thing is, I don't
think he actually mentioned his kid outright.
He just talked about a babysitter. He couldn't
get a babysitter. And the presumption was, well,
obviously that was for a kid. Right, but no,
he does say it. I wrote it down. I don't remember
him actually mentioning his child. I remember
him mentioning his wife and not being able to
get a babysitter. I've got the audio. We'll see
what's in the, but I don't remember what, right.
What I remember is, and you could, you normally,
I would say you're right. Cause maybe it's, Hey,
it's uncle Columbo. Maybe it's one of his nieces
or nephews. It was clearly supposed to be his.
What I'm saying is everything made it clear that
there was a child in their home. Yes. But I don't
think he ever actually specifically mentioned,
specifically said his child. Like he talked about
a babysitter in a way that you would trying to
get one for a child, but he never actually said
my kid. You get what I'm saying? Yeah. I don't
think he did. I might be wrong. I could be wrong,
but like, I remember kind of, cause obviously
even though I've watched all these, I was like,
wait, what? Yeah. I was like, wait, that's why
I wrote it. Literally. I wrote it down as quote,
my wife and my kid. I was like, he actually,
Whoa, wait a minute. Huh? But I'll go back in
the audio when I edit the episode, and I'll see
what the tail of the tape says. Because I remember
thinking at the time, because, you know, 2025
is like, yeah, obviously in the 70s it wasn't
like this. I know it wasn't like this in the
70s, but, like, you know, it's like, well, maybe
it was for his dog. No. Or, you know, well, I
mean. No. I don't think the dog is... I know,
absolutely. I was making a joke about the fact
that obviously it's not Forrest's dog or his
master. Yes, absolutely. Anything else with this
one? No, this was a good one. I mean, they're
all good ones, but this one really hit on all
thrusters. Absolutely. 100%. Okay, so we haven't
done this in a little while. Did the show keep
your interest throughout? Yes. Yep, absolutely.
Are we itching to watch the next episode now?
Yeah. Kind of, yeah. Yep. Yes, we will recommend
this show to people, obviously. And the overall
grade, what are we going to give Any Old Port
in a Storm? I mean, I've sort of set myself up
that there are certain conditions for a 5, so
I'm going to say 4 .5. It's pretty close. The
appearance of this old man made me really happy
because that's the Columboism. The thing about
the kid just blew my mind because I don't remember
that ever coming up before or since. And then,
like, I keep wanting to say Loomis. Donald Pleasence
was great. He was a lot of fun in that role.
Yeah. Well, unlike you, I don't need the dog
to give it a five, so I'm going to give it a
five. Hey, that's right. He does have a dog with
clearly a lot of medical needs because he's always
at the vet. That's true. Oh, man. I could see
a detective comedy series with the dog, the vet,
and Columbo. That would be an interesting Three's
Company episode. I would bet money that there's
a series of books that are almost exactly like
that. I know there's the cat one that was really
successful. So I'm sure somebody did one with
dogs. The cat who did this, the cat. And then
the thing is, there are two cats. One cat has
weird, almost mystical powers, and the other
cat's just a normal cat. Oh, wow. My mother loved
mysteries. So she read all these books. Very
cool, very cool. All right, folks. Well, I think
that's going to do it for us. We're going to
head to a quick ad break. You're going to hear
some podcast ads and some other stuff. We'll
come back to close the show right after this.
Okay. Thank you very much. Excuse me. My name
is Lieutenant Columbo. I'm with the Los Angeles
Police Department, and I need a little help.
Can anybody here tell me that it rained last
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Any final thoughts from you, sir, as we escape
the annual port in a storm? No, I think it was
a fun episode. I do like the scene. It was very
interesting where Columbo goes to the wine store
to learn about wine. Yes. The French guy. Yes.
And I love the line about how you tell a good
wine from a bad wine, and the guy goes, the price.
yeah absolutely yeah and and we we also like
he did we're always keeping track of whether
or not he drank anything and he he took sips
yeah which i understand and again maybe it's
my own bias because i just assume most police
officers don't well yeah they're not supposed
to Drink on the job. Okay, I understand if you're
a police officer and you go home and you want
to have a drink when you're not on duty. But
when you're on duty, that's my thing. It isn't
about whether they drink or not overall. It's
about when they drink on duty. That's the thing.
Because every time I've ever heard on television
or in real life a police officer say, no, I'm
sorry, I'm on duty. I can't have a drink or I
can't do this or I can't do that. Yeah, there's
a lot of jobs that are like that where you're
not supposed to. Ironically, they're all the
high -stress ones. Well. Ironically, he said
ironically. Yes, absolutely. Like pilot and doctor
and firefighter. You're not supposed to drink
on the job. Yeah, well. You're not really supposed
to drink on the job with any job. But, you know,
a few of them. Yeah, no, I, like, I don't. Okay,
so. I don't drink myself. Um, me either. I, I
sort of have a, and I, I will say that my understanding
of wine culture is probably very biased based
on media presentations. Like I, so, but I mean,
it does seem like, like, yeah, he takes sips
and that's, that's, that's what you do with,
with fancy expensive wines. He takes sips. So
I don't think he's a, Oh no. Yeah. I mean, I
don't think he's a judgmental, you know, I don't
know. But I mean, it is a thing that we keep
track of. Because I remember there was one where
he had a glass and he was playing around with
it and he never drank it. And we're like, he
never drank the booze. I wasn't saying, I don't
think you've ever said that he can't go home
and have a beer. It's just when we were sitting
in a winery and he had a couple of zips. I don't
think Adrian Carcini got the case thrown out
on that grounds. No. You mentioned in the last
one that you felt that some of the sets, some
of the environments looked like a soundstage.
Yeah. I will say that Adrian Cassini spent all
this money on the wines, but man, those signs.
Those signs for the vineyard, man. I could make
those. Yeah. He paid his finest 12 -year -old
to come up with the Cassini winery sign. Those
look cheap. Very. Yeah. He'll pay $5 ,000 for
a limited edition bottle of wine, but he can't
pay at least $200 for a good sign. It's not a
limited edition. It's not like Todd McFarlane
just decided to only make a couple and release
them through Walmart so nobody could find them.
It was from, like, what? 30s or something. I'm
sorry. I didn't use the correct terminology.
I just thought it was cute that you used the
collecting nerd terminology. To be fair, when
he was talking about that scene where he's at
the auction and he's like, I don't have the money
for this, but I'm going to buy this bottle of
wine anyway. I mean, as a guy with a basement
full of toys? I'm connected with that. Yeah.
It's just funny to me that you use the term limited.
You use our collector nerd. He is a collector
nerd, but he's a wine connoisseur. Yeah. But
the point is, is that, you know, he'll spend
$5 ,000 on a rare vintage, there you go, instead
of, you know, spending $200 on a good sign. Yes.
Well, and the brother, that's one of the things
the brother's mad about, is that he burned through
all the money being a snob instead of, like,
kind of, you know. Yep. Which is why he has to
sell to the... The brothers. Yep. Absolutely,
absolutely. All right, folks. Thank you for joining
us here inside the studio. If you'd like to get
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Radio for the Network at ItsStudio2009 for the
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Geekcast Radio Network as well as checking out
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time when Dave and I will be discussing Season
3, Episode 3. candidate for crime. Ooh. For now,
I am TF2 and Mike with... Dave Draper. You'll
hear us back in the studio soon. I think I'll
be running along now, sir. Thank you very much.
I certainly enjoyed it.