I'm saying is that guys like me and you were very confident, right?
We have a lot of friends.
I want the world to know.
Come speak to me.
Come ask me for two minutes of my time.
I will gladly give it to you.
You know that your business, Sushi, none of your business, Michael,
it's the none of your business podcast hosted by Michael Anushin.
I actually like the podcast.
I mean, you have a lot.
I think that we were both very honest with each other.
We were very open.
We were just having a conversation.
There was nothing planned.
Wasn't scripted.
And we were just saying how we feel.
And I think that through our experiences, we really just put it into words and shared that with one another.
And I think that's ultimately what people want to hear.
Honestly, it's what I want to hear.
I like when you get vulnerable with me.
I like when you're telling me stories about your life that I didn't know about.
And to be honest with you, I actually enjoyed being vulnerable.
You know, I just did a LinkedIn live with Ellie Goldring and it was talking about trade shows.
He got vulnerable three times on the live.
And he spoke about things that he would normally never speak about.
And he realized afterwards, he's like, Michael, you know, what's amazing?
You have over 100 people listening to you LinkedIn live every week, right?
And your message is getting out there and the impact that you're making.
I feel that our conversations is leading towards things that we're learning from each other.
I like listening to your stories.
I like you getting vulnerable.
I actually enjoy when I get vulnerable.
Yeah, no, for sure.
It's not something that you find to be fun.
You know, it's not like everybody, oh, I can't wait until I'm being vulnerable.
But it's the only real way to really be honest with one another and talk about things that people can resonate with
because they're thinking the same things in their head possibly, but they're just not saying it out loud.
So by us airing what other people are thinking, it takes a little bit of courage to do that.
You have to be bold, you know, because not everything you're going to say is going to be received well.
So by being vulnerable and being open, I think makes you a little bit liable towards, you know, some type of backlash
or something that isn't going to go over well.
But that's what you have to get over.
That's exactly the part that that's what it takes in order for you to get a message out and to help people
and people can take something away.
It comes with that risk, the bigger the risk, the bigger the reward.
I've heard you say it.
I've heard you say recently to the team of reps that we have, if you're not feeling that emotion, you're not living.
And that resonated with me.
You know, obviously you have to be careful what you say and how you say and where you say it.
Know the setting, listen to your surrounding.
But I actually very much enjoyed our discussion.
I hope we have more of it.
And let's give the listeners a taste of our being vulnerable.
Yeah, for sure.
All right, let's do it.
We are back with a None of Your Business podcast.
I am so excited to continue this journey, especially with this beautiful bottle of wine, Oshie, that you brought me.
Well, you know, it's funny this bottle of wine actually was meant for one of our customers.
Oh, okay.
I actually bought as a gift.
It was his birthday and I was supposed to deliver it to his house and it was sitting on my car and I forgot.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
How long has it been sitting in your car?
At least six months.
You throw this out, Stefan?
No, no, no.
I'm gonna pour right here.
It's all good.
By the way, this is why it was meant to be that I left it in my car and I didn't deliver it.
So in a time like this, we have a bottle of wine.
That's what it was for.
You know, that's one way of looking at it or the other way is don't ever leave a bottle of wine in your car because this is going to taste disgusting.
However, I'm excited to give it a shot because it does look like a nice bottle.
You know, wine is wine.
It'll do it.
It'll be fine.
No, no, wine is not just wine.
But let's just start first by thanking God for bringing us to this moment.
I'm excited to be here with you and to continue on this journey.
The None of Your Business podcast.
You know what?
It's not so terrible.
Not terrible at all?
No, no.
It's okay.
Actually, I actually enjoy it.
How was your week?
How was my week?
So I got to tell you, I was in Arizona this week and it was hot.
It was hot.
It was 106 degrees.
But it's dry heat.
That's what everybody always says.
It's dry heat.
Okay, who cares?
It's still 106 degrees.
It's still very, very hot.
The minute you walk off the plane and you walk on into the terminal, the heat attacks you.
It's instantaneous.
You feel it right away.
The first second you get off the plane and you're in for a real treat.
But I used to it.
After the second, by the second day, it was fine.
It wasn't so bad.
You know what?
I didn't get used to?
That attacked me.
Your tuna sandwich that you opened.
Oh, right.
Sitting in the middle seat right next to me, whipping open a tuna sandwich.
I didn't think about it.
When I purchased the, when I bought the tuna sandwich, I didn't think about eating it on the plane and it's potentially going to smell and it's not nice to the people next to it.
I didn't think about that.
Oh, so now you're admitting it was a mistake?
No, I agree.
In hindsight, I wouldn't buy a tuna for sandwich again when I go on an airplane.
There are certain rules, I think, right?
Yes.
I think there are always certain etiquettes when you go on to an airplane that you have to be considerate of.
You know, I hate the people that talk on their phone before the plane's about to take off.
You know, you have like, usually 20 minutes on the plane and there's somebody sitting next to you in front of you behind you.
Totally oblivious to people around them and they're having a full-fledged conversation.
Actually, there was someone on the flight next to me that was watching a movie without headshots.
That's crazy.
What are you doing?
Yeah, that's that role.
I couldn't say anything because there were like two seats ahead of me, but I heard it, the entire flight.
And no one was saying anything.
That's crazy.
If you hear something, say something.
It's not just that it's rude.
I think it says a lot about that person.
Yeah.
They're socially off.
Something is missing that they don't realize that they're playing this out loud for other people, living in their own bubble.
It's very true.
On that end, you should hear what people say.
You should not hear about what people say necessarily.
This is about caring about other people, just being a common courtesy to them, you know, is very basic.
It's the baseline of living.
We could have 10 episodes.
The world is not your ass trait.
You can't just do it every one, wherever you go.
You have to understand other people around.
That's true.
They're never taken into account.
But I'll tell you this, Michael, talking about other people, I started hearing a lot of feedback from a lot of people.
And I got support from people and I got certainly a lot of people chiming in with their negativity.
You always have those as well, a little bit of both.
And it got me thinking, do I really care what a lot of these people are thinking about?
Like, I'm doing this podcast and a big part of me is what are people going to think?
Are people going to be in tune with this?
Are people going to like it?
Are they going to listen?
And then another part of me is saying, wait a second, why am I so concerned about that?
Why am I not just concerned about living at the moment?
I'm enjoying it.
We're having a good time.
We're doing a podcast.
It's great.
And let it be whatever it's going to be.
Let the chips fall where they may.
That should be the attitude that I'm taking.
And I think in life in general, we put a lot of stock in what other people think.
And how often do you think that affects us?
And how often do you think we don't get the full enjoyment out of something because we're too concerned and we're too tied into what are other people going to make?
I definitely think that every day you think about how other people think about you.
Multiple times.
Yeah, every day.
The question is, is it from a positive place or a negative place?
Meaning when you get dressed in the morning, I don't care how much you say, oh, I'm looking good for myself.
You're not putting on that boss shirt specifically for yourself.
Yes, it's comfortable.
It's quality.
But it has a logo.
It tells people I have a nice shirt.
Isn't that a reason why you're wearing the most shirt?
Or are you going to tell me it's just completely for yourself?
I think that's another topic is people wearing brand names.
Yeah.
Obviously, there's a part of you that's doing it because you want to make an impression on others.
You're spending a lot of money on a brand, a lot of money, spending a lot of extra money.
And part of why you're doing that has to be because you want to make a certain mark on another person.
People have issues, by the way, with their kids and their spouses spending money on high-brained items.
Right.
That's a big challenge.
Especially if they can't afford it.
Right.
They need it so much that they're still spending the money on it.
Every day, a while, about what people say about us.
But what were you thinking about?
In what context?
The way I'm looking at it is you have to be aware that sometimes, not sometimes, a lot of times,
when you're doing things, you're doing it because of what somebody else is expecting of you.
Or what somebody else wants from you.
And you're not actually meaning your own needs.
You're not actually doing something that you wanted to yourself, which is the right thing to do.
Because who's more important than yourself and the people that are close to you, your family members,
you loved ones, you're very close friends.
It's okay to be concerned with what they're going to think about because they're close to you.
And I think that coincides.
I think that clashes very well.
I think it's really a package deal.
It's a healthy thing to care about other big rights.
But who?
The people that you don't even know.
The people that don't really care about you, those people?
No, no, not those people.
And we do sometimes a lot of things that are for those people.
That's what I'm talking about.
Talking about that perception from those people that don't really matter to me,
I have to learn to totally cut those people off.
Let's divide it for a second, both professionally and personally.
Because if you divide it, you can actually conquer this challenge, right?
Professionally, you should care what other people think about you, right?
You want to have a persona of someone that is professional, respected.
A thought leader in an industry wants to be looked upon as high regard.
So the way you look, the way you dress, it's very, very important.
Whereas on a personal level, I don't know if it is as important than a professional level.
I totally agree.
I'm with you.
I think on the business side of things, it's all about serving others, right?
It's always selling something you want someone else to buy from you.
And you have to make an impression.
And you have to think about, what are they going to think if I say this?
What are they going to think if I write the email in this way?
And that way, that's how you have to think.
It's almost quite the opposite.
But in your personal life, when you're talking about, you know,
should I do this or should I not do this?
Well, this is what I want to do.
But how's it going to look?
What are other people going to say?
Give me an example.
Maybe I shouldn't do it.
Give me an example.
I think there's so many examples.
It's like, what happened this week?
It's hard about it.
Let's talk about it.
A podcast.
Maybe more people would do a podcast because they don't have the fear of
what other people are going to say, right?
They're talking now in a public forum.
People are going to hear a lot about their lives.
And that's a very scary thing because now you're inviting other people's opinions
and you're really susceptible to just being in an uncomfortable position
where you might be hurt, right?
You might be hurt.
So if you don't have that fear of what others are going to say and how that's
going to have a bearing on you, then it's just a better way to live.
When I was 13 years old, I literally spent, I'm not going to exaggerate, 25 minutes
in front of the mirror before I left the house.
I would sit there and make sure that every follicle, every piece of my here is in the
perfect position.
And I realized growing up that I was doing it for others.
And I was looking at myself in the mirror and thinking everybody is going to see every
piece of here that's off.
Everybody's going to see every pimple or blemish that I have on my face.
And I was worried about it.
I think that the idea of worrying about what other people say comes from when we were kids.
It's like how we grew up.
In fact, if you want to tie the two together, I think bullying is a big part of it.
If I think back to now, like why was I thinking about the way my hair looked so much?
I think back to the kids that made fun of me that, you know, my hair didn't look good
or it was, they called me grease boy, you know, because it looked greasy.
I had like oily hair.
You're looking at my hair now.
It's still greasy.
How could I not?
I got to see this any belittling.
Okay, thank God.
I don't see it, by the way.
Thank you.
I appreciate it.
You've overcome that phase of your life.
I appreciate you not bullying me, but you're right.
If somebody wouldn't be bullying that person, then they wouldn't have to be concerned with
what they're going to react to.
You know, it's funny, my dad used to tell me that, you know, if you're not friendly
with a kid because he's being mean to you, right, a certain way.
Or if he's a certain type of personality, he says to me, you don't think there's 70-year-olds
that I feel the same way about?
It really opened my eyes to the fact that some people, they don't change.
They don't change.
They're the same people in the way they're 40s and they're 50s still making fun of others,
still getting that good feeling of putting other people down.
Which is like, it's life-changing.
It sometimes can break a person, literally, like what you're saying with the feedback that
we're getting.
Yeah, I know, really could.
And I don't see why it should change, you know, this is a human nature that you'll have to
the day you die.
Is that there is a part of you that's always going to be concerned about what others are,
what does the world expect?
What does the community expect?
And as soon as you fall out of line with that, you're worried.
You're worried that you're going to be shunned.
You're worried that people are potentially not going to talk to you anymore.
So you have a lot of that anxieties that you have to contend with and that really, unfortunately,
leads people to have depressions, which is a very big problem today, I think more than
ever.
And these are real things that need to be discussed.
Mental health is a real, real thing that absolutely has to be addressed.
And I think this is a very big part of it is people putting too much stock in what other
people think.
Yeah, it's huge.
We were in Arizona this week at a conference.
And what a conference it was.
I mean, every conference that we go to is so important with networking and connecting and
just really meeting with the people that you even know and introducing to people that you
don't know.
I experienced something exactly to what you're discussing now as far as what other people
say.
And that is that naturally there are men and women amongst the crowd when you go to a
conference.
There's nothing you could do about it.
Men are equally in business as women are.
And many times you'll be amongst that type of environment.
So I experienced something where I was taking selfies with people just so I can promote how
amazing this conference was at the end and put a collage of photos.
And there was a woman that was a rep that went together with another man and we all took
a selfie and he came over to me afterwards and he goes, please don't use that picture.
What do you mean don't use that picture?
What's wrong with the picture?
I don't want to be seen with another woman.
I was even born in business and he was so nervous, so anxious.
He was literally sweating as he was telling it to me.
No, no, no, please make sure I'm like, so you don't got to tell me twice.
So I got it.
But I never thought in a million years there would be an issue just because he's with
a woman in a photo.
That's how because he's worried that it could be misrepresented.
Exactly.
He's worried that some people might take offense and some people do.
And he's yeah.
And even if he doesn't have a problem with it and his wife doesn't have a problem with
it, but others may have a problem with it and that is provoking him to have a panic
attack at this.
They say, well, don't use the picture.
Don't use the picture.
Right.
And how many other times do we do that throughout the day throughout the week?
We do it all the time is that we're making snap decisions based on not what you think,
not what matters to you, but what matters to somebody else.
And what's the outside world going to look at this?
And there's tons, tons of examples.
We all do it.
We all do it all the time.
And we just have to be more weird.
When do you do it to others?
I mean, you know, I think a big part of wanting to be successful and wanting to make a lot
of money is not necessarily because I want to have nice things or because I want to have
a list of things I have to buy and I have a list of places I have to go to and I need
to have money for that.
I don't think that's ultimately what drives me.
I think by having, by being successful and not just in money, but by being successful
in different things, you know, some people are very successful in sports, every league
that they play, they're very athletic and they're always winning.
They have a perception, right?
And then they have to keep it up, right?
When they're losing, it doesn't look so good.
So they try very hard and that's what drives them is that they're afraid to lose because
other people might not view them in the same way.
And when you want to be successful, it's because you want other people to validate you, to
legitimize you.
It's not good enough that you think you're great, right?
And that you think you're wonderful and your wife thinks you're amazing and your kids think
you're amazing.
What does my neighbor think?
Does he think I'm amazing?
Does the guy who lives eight blocks away, does the guy who lives in a different city
and state that I don't even know as well, that I talk to maybe two or three times a
year, does anything come great?
Can you imagine it goes that far and those people don't matter in any which way.
Why would you care?
But what drives me and I think a lot of people to want to be successful is because that is
how we labeled it as you must be a great person and you must have a good life and you must
be happy because you're successful in this and in that.
You play baseball.
Yeah.
You love.
I try.
I think you love that game of baseball.
I mean, we have trophies.
We play softball, not baseball.
Okay.
All right.
Well, play softball.
So you ever see the women softball games, how they pitch?
Sure.
I don't think I could ever get a pitch.
The windmill pitch.
Is that what's called?
You don't have fast, they pitch the women?
How fast?
About 60 to 70 miles an hour.
Underhand, rounder hand.
What?
It's actually very, it's a real technique in how they do it because they don't just
like spin their hand around.
It's one spin.
If they lift their hand up, they do one quick spin and then they release it when their arm
is coming all the way down right from the hip and they just flick the wrist.
They flip the wrist and they shoot the ball out and it goes fast.
60 to 70 is very hard to do overhand.
Most people can't do a 60 to 70 overhand.
Right.
And for them to do it underhand is truly amazing.
So let me ask you, so you go out bat, right?
And it's your World Series and it's the bottom of the ninth and you're down by two and his
base is loaded and it's a full count and Bushy Shorts comes up to bat and he's about to hit
that home run grand slam.
He's ready to knock it out of the park and he turns around and he sees there's no one
watching, no one in the audience.
No.
And I sure was never going to see this game.
I know.
I forget to see it.
Stopping telebots.
The entire attitude changes.
It does.
Your entire stamina, your entire energy.
Because of what people are looking at you.
Right.
It's just amazing.
You could take the concept, you know, I say a lot that the word attitude can be used
in a negative fashion and a positive fashion.
Take a word attitude, put the word bad in front of it and suddenly it's bad.
Put the word good in front of it and suddenly the word attitude is good.
To say that you can drive it either way.
Exactly.
I feel like the idea of what people think about us can also be looked at from two different
ways.
Sometimes it's a good thing.
You want to care what your family thinks about you.
You care tremendously what your kids think about you.
You want them to think.
Yes.
Right?
Yes.
I think every parent wants their children to think that they're the greatest thing
since life's great.
I think every parent wants that.
Right.
They want to think that they're the greatest things one way or another.
They won't do something or they will do something specifically so their kids should think of
them in a certain life.
Right.
By the way, the worst part is when you're flying and someone brings their little child on the
plane and they don't even hear their child screaming and crying.
But everyone else does, right?
It's numb to it.
Right.
Exactly.
Yeah.
My kid doesn't make noise.
My kid is the best.
We're all guilty of that.
We're all children, you know, we're all born on planes.
I totally relate to that.
But you know, you're reminding me there's a old adage.
It's not a real story, but just a little parable, I guess.
I'm sorry.
Yes.
What does that mean?
I got old saying.
Oh, yeah.
Okay.
Yeah.
You questioning yourself on that?
No, no.
No.
Okay.
Yeah.
So there's an individual walking on 13th Avenue in Barabarca and he's noticing that
somebody's doing construction on his house and he's replacing his brick with from red
brick.
He's making gray bricks and it's a middle of happening and somebody walks by and he
screams out to the owner of the house.
He says, whoa, wait a second.
Wait a second.
I see that you're replacing the red with the gray.
I don't know.
That's a good idea.
I'm not into it.
I think you should change your back.
And this guy looks at him and he says, excuse me, who are you?
What are you talking about?
Like why are you giving me unsolicited advice over here?
He says, I don't understand.
You're not building this house and changing the brick for me, for other people to look
at.
Isn't that the purpose of what you're doing?
Shouldn't I have a state?
Shouldn't I have an input?
Are you sure this happened on 13th Avenue?
By the way, because they say it's 13th Avenue.
It's 13th Avenue.
It just has banks.
That's all it is.
Yes, yes, I guess.
You're right.
On the streets, all 13th Avenue.
A lot of brick houses.
Absolutely.
All brick houses over there.
Yeah.
So the point is that it's so true.
People dress in a certain way for other people to see.
People behave in a certain way for other people to see.
And again, we're all guilty of it.
There is a barometer, though, from one to 100, right?
There's a skill.
The question is, how do we tone it down from 100 down to 90, then down to 80, and get to
a certain point where it's very healthy?
I wouldn't say take it down to zero because then it's anarchy.
Then it's chaos.
If you don't care at all what other people think, then you're going to be in a very dangerous
place.
Then you're going to realize, go rogue.
So there has to be a medium.
There has to be a balance of 50% caring about what other people think.
Not too much.
I want to say, one more thing, Michael.
One more thing, there actually is a group, a subset in Judaism.
We know them as the Hasidus, it's called Ger.
And they're rabbi with thousands and thousands of followers.
A hundred thousand followers he has, of course, the globe, very, very popular.
He actually at one point said that he allows his disciples, his followers, to talk about
each other behind each other's backs.
He allows it.
He's not a terrible thing.
You say, I don't think it's so terrible because that will keep people in line.
If people know that I might get exposed, I might get caught, it's going to prevent them
from doing those things.
And so he looked at it as actually a good thing, which I don't know if I totally agree
and I think it's a little outlandish, but I hear it, there's merit to what he say.
And that's what I mean.
Also, don't take it down to zero where you don't care at all what other people think,
because then you're just going to totally go crazy.
I want to compare that to something that just happened to me actually is that every month,
lessing of the new month, I have a habit of calling my kids teachers and I speak to them
once a month.
Once a month.
I don't go to PTA, by the way.
Let that sink in.
By design?
By design.
I never go to PTA.
Why is that?
Because I think it's a waste of time.
To hear about how your children, on a platform where everybody's there and you get your own
individual.
Sure.
I'd rather get my own individual time every month.
I get my fives.
I want a more frequent.
Not only more frequent, I want a more intimate.
I want to just sit down.
They have a book.
They go through it.
Sometimes they don't even know the kid's name in the beginning, at least of PTA.
So I'd rather actually make a call.
Even if you do it twice a year, instead of going to PTA once, I would recommend just having
a call twice.
That's my opinion on the matter.
That's a separate topic.
But talking to one of the teachers.
We're talking about the kid's misbehaving in general.
I always talk about the fact that you are who your friends are.
You want to hang around with people that are happy, people that are positive.
It's a conversation that I like to always discuss.
It resonates well with a lot of people.
We're having challenges also with our kids.
In general, in life, people have challenges with kids not understanding that concept of
you are who your friends are.
So when you get older, of course, you recognize it.
When you're young, you just want to have a good time.
So it's a big challenge.
This teacher opened my eyes to something interesting that I never even thought about similar to
the Garrabah.
What this teacher told me was that kids these days actually hear more about what other people
think about them than what they used to because of social media.
The only positive thing that social media brought to light to kids these days is that
they think twice before they misbehave.
Oh my God, am I on camera?
Am I going to be embarrassed?
Is someone going to see me?
Think about that.
That's crazy.
Today, you have cameras everywhere and you just never know when you're being recorded
or not.
So you have to be on guard.
You have to be careful.
Now, it could be used for a lot of good things.
Social media has its benefits, but it certainly has its downfalls, its pitfalls.
You're right.
The kids now know everything is more public.
So they don't have to worry anymore about what my neighbors are going to think.
They've got to worry about what does this town going to think?
For sure.
You have a viral moment and something and it just, look at what's that.
Look what happened to what's that.
You put one post out or what's that and it starts just being distributed around before
you know it.
It gets in front of thousands and thousands of people.
Thank God for the delete option, by the way, because two years ago when there wasn't a
delete option, but it doesn't matter because if you don't delete it in time and already
gotten the hands up, three people for sure, once it starts getting forwarded on and on
and on, it's it.
It's all over.
You're done.
And it's never going to be taken back.
What a dangerous tool that is.
That's just wild to think about.
We didn't have this problem 20 years ago.
10 years ago, we didn't have this problem.
We have this problem that it's only going to be perpetuated.
I think it's going to get even worse.
It's going to get even more easy and it's already very easy now to get easier and it's
going to be easier for our children.
And it's going to affect how they grow up and it's going to create a lot of side effects.
And we're talking about mental health, which I think is a very big topic these days because
of all of this ancillary things that we have going here.
Can we talk about the positive side for it for a second because we just started saying
how you know social media and what other people think about you can be a positive thing also.
And I like where this is going because it's in line with the theme of where this podcast
is heading, which is the journey of both personal and professional and trying to be positive
and happy throughout this entire journey and looking at both sides of the case and really
making a case for one side while arguing the other, which is something we really do quite
well.
So far we haven't argued on much, but that's always exciting.
In terms of what people think about you from social media, I just brought one way that
it could be positive.
What other ways social media, let's, before we get into the negative side of what people
think about you, let's cross that bridge of what is the positive of what people think
about you.
How is that a good thing?
Right?
The guy who said you should talk about people behind their back.
What did he mean?
I don't think he, by the way, I want to correct that.
Yeah, I don't think he said you should talk about people.
Okay, I understand.
But what he said was, don't be so quick to send out these messages and make these programs
for people not to talk to Lush and Hara, read evil gossip, not to talk about that.
Don't be so quick to, you know, it's not the worst thing in the world.
What do you think he meant?
That's what he said.
I don't want to be a representative.
It's okay.
What do you think?
Don'ting it.
Everybody start gossiping about it.
It's okay.
We're not up to 100,000 listeners yet.
Okay.
My question to you is, what do you think he meant?
What didn't his message was?
His message was very clear, is that people should have somewhat of a guardrail for themselves,
knowing that they could get out.
They could get out.
Right.
Always have that.
And therefore, they're more careful.
Right.
Which is a positive thing.
Which is a positive.
Right.
So what are the things social media brought out that's positive?
If somebody has a good message to share, they can now share it with the masses.
They get that message out.
You have an inspirational speaker who says a beautiful story.
Until now, the people that were in the room that heard the speech directly were able to
enjoy the benefit of that.
Yeah.
And that's just the scope of what you had in the room.
Now you can get that message out to so many people so quickly and you can inspire more
people than you ever could have.
You know, it's funny, years ago before social media went crazy, my brother went into politics,
took one over 20 years ago.
And I asked him, I said, why?
What are you doing?
Why would you go to politics?
And he looked at me and he said a very, very profound statement.
He said, you're impacting two people when you say something.
I'm going to impact 200 people when I say something.
That's why I want to go into politics.
And it was an amazing thing to hear.
I didn't quite understand it as much as I understand it now.
Understanding how social media impacts others.
And it's true.
Anything that we talk about here on our podcast that can be a positive influence on others,
we can reach thousands of people and we will reach thousands of people and it'll make an
effect on people's life in a positive way.
Is there anything else that's positive that came out of social media?
I think a lot about education.
I think now you get educated a lot more because of social media.
You get to see just so many, you get to learn new things all the time.
You don't have to spend all day reading to be more intellectual.
Thank God for people that served the web.
Even TikTok, by the way, which is a terrible platform and I think everybody agrees.
At the end of the day, there is a benefit to it because you have these 15, 20 second
clips and you're scrolling through it and some of this stuff at least is informative.
And some of this stuff might be educational.
So there's that.
That's a positive side of it.
I don't think it's worth all the negative it comes with.
The question we need to ask is taking the good, taking the bad, what supersedes the other
one?
The good or the bad?
Right.
And I think that we can probably agree that because of the negativity that comes from
it, it isn't worth the upside.
There's too much risk, there's too much downside that it isn't worth for the upside.
That's I think my point that I was making is that the positive that comes out of social
media is there, but it's not as much as the negative.
Similarly, when it comes to people talking about you or people making you knocking you
down or thinking of what other people think about you.
Yes, there could be some positive 10, 20%, but overall, it's much more negative.
The impact is, is just it can be, it can be life.
You know, can you imagine?
Let me let me paint you a picture right now.
And we all know somebody like this.
This happens unfortunately all the time.
It's very, very common.
Somebody loses their job, but doesn't just lose a job.
Let's talk about a person that has a job for 15, 20 years he has a job and people basically
affiliate him with the job that he has.
He works for a certain law firm.
He's the attorney.
He's the accountant.
He works for an accountant.
Yeah.
Whatever it might be that he's doing.
He's the expense consultant.
Exactly.
While people don't know him in that regard.
That's his image.
He has a label associated with him and then something happens to no fault of his and
something something goes wrong and you no longer has a job.
He quits.
He gets fired.
The company closes that whatever it might be.
The first thing that comes to his head is not oh my God, want me to do, I'm gonna pay
my bills.
How am I gonna feed my family?
How am I gonna keep my lifestyle going?
It's not the first thing that comes to his mind.
The first thing that comes to his mind is,
what are other people gonna think?
And who's that, how do I explain this to people?
It's embarrassing.
It's embarrassing, how do I tell this to people?
That's the first thing that comes to mind.
And that to me is a huge problem.
It's scary, I feel bad.
Well, how have we come as a society to this,
that people have to be so fearful of very normal things?
Does that make you a worse person,
I'm a bad person because you lost your job?
Are you suddenly not the same person you were yesterday
because you lost the job?
And people are going to unfortunately look
for a moment even, doesn't matter,
but they're gonna look down and he knows it,
he's gonna feel it.
That's what's scary, step it up a notch.
Someone is a millionaire and he's a philanthropist
and he's giving away things to the community
and he's doing a lot.
And unfortunately something happens
and his life changes overnight.
Think of how embarrassed he is
and how difficult it is for him to make that life change.
That happens also, he gets fired by God.
God says no more, you're fired.
You had it, you enjoyed it, you did good with it.
I'm flipping the switch now.
What happens then?
I think that something that you said earlier resonated
very well with me is that,
let's move the needle a little bit.
Let's figure out how to actually move that needle.
Let's talk about it right now.
Let's get into the conversation of saying,
what happens when that guy who's very, very wealthy
suddenly flips the switch, God flips the switch
and it changes.
What happens to that guy that you pray with
in synagogue on the weekends in Shul?
And you see him and he lost his job.
How can you and I change that just a little bit?
What can we do?
So this is obviously going to be something
that the professionals will need to comment on
because I'm sure that there are tricks of the trade
of how people can try to go about their lives
without really worrying so much, right?
It's still, it's been very hard to talk about,
but I think one thing that's very, very basic
is you need to be comfortable with yourself.
Before you can start mastering what are other people
gonna think or not think,
that's obviously gonna be the biggest key.
It's your own confidence.
If you know, look, I lost my job,
but I'm the same person I was 10 minutes ago
and I'm a very capable person.
I'm a very talented person and I'll land on my feet
and I'll find something else.
It's gonna be hard.
It's gonna be difficult,
but I'm gonna do it.
I'm not giving up.
If you're talking to yourself
and you're giving yourself inspiration and motivation,
you're gonna care a whole lot less
about what the next person is gonna think
and it's gonna make you a lot happier
and it's gonna make you less miserable,
but it's hard to do.
It's a hard thing to do
and maybe we don't talk to ourselves often enough.
Maybe we're so fixated on other people
that we are eliminating our closest people around us.
What do they think?
What are they gonna say?
They're gonna support you.
I imagine your close friends are gonna support you
in that situation.
Bring them into the fold.
I think, you know,
I actually wanna kinda change my answer a little bit.
I wanna suggest a remedy for how you can really
take less interest in what other people think about you.
I'm all ears.
This is, for me, I think this is how I cope with it.
Try to have, I guess it's hard to try.
It's either you have it or you don't.
Close people around you that you confided.
Have you or two or three very close friends,
maybe a family member or two as well,
that you're so comfortable around
you can say anything to them.
Because talking to someone does make you feel better
and also hearing yourself talk a lot of times
in itself is very therapeutic.
So by you having the comfort and the confidence in yourself
because there are people that are supporting you
and it's the close people that always support you
because they care about you.
Those people genuinely want the best for you.
Those are the people that you should not hold back on.
Sometimes people keep it very close to their vests.
They stay to themselves
and they don't share anything with anybody.
And I think those people are gonna suffer more
of that anxiety of what other people think.
I gotta lift my glass.
I make a little hymn and a cheers to a teachable moment,
a very teachable moment.
That is a beautiful teachable moment.
And what I take out of that is work on your friends.
Work on your circle
because there's no better therapy in the world
than speaking your heart out to your friends.
Yes.
People tell me all the time like,
oh, are you a believer in therapy?
I'm a believer in therapy.
I'm first a believer in friends
because your best therapist are your friends,
are your close circle.
And the tip and the takeaway to move that needle
and what you're saying,
what I'm taking away out of this is build your close circle
around you.
So important so that when the disaster potentially comes,
the roller coaster of the ride starts heading down,
you can rely and lean on the people around you.
But don't take it for granted.
Don't think I'm a millionaire.
I don't need friends.
Nobody wants me for who I am.
Oh, everybody just wants my money.
No, no, no, no, no, no.
Build your close circle.
You need that.
You have to have it.
You must have it.
If there's anything I can say to people
that they can take away from this, is this.
If you don't have one person in your life
that you're speaking to every single day,
multiple times a week, a lot, very frequently,
and you're not comfortable enough
that you could tell them anything,
your deepest, darkest secret,
you are doing yourself a huge dessert.
Whoa, slow down.
I think your life is going to be,
I'm sorry, I really believe this.
Your life is not going to be the same as it could be.
You're holding back if you don't have that person.
Can I just ask you a question?
Sure.
Are you referring to anyone,
or are you referring specifically to a friend,
or a spouse, or a girlfriend, boyfriend?
I think that's a little too close to home.
That's why I'm asking you.
You want to have one person that has no dog in the fight.
They're not in your life.
They don't live with you.
They don't share kids with you.
That's too close.
Now, sure.
Typically, you want to tell your wife the first.
You want to tell you significantly
the other the first when something exciting happens.
You want to share that with them,
because no one's going to be happier for you
than they will be.
Of course.
But I'm talking about having the ability to let loose
and to just be completely yourself,
to have that person where it's a safe zone.
It's priceless.
I'd love to argue with you, but I can't.
So far, everything you're saying I'm agreeing with,
and I'm going to double down on it for a second.
I'm going to say that the concept of, of course,
you're living with someone, your significant other,
that you, oh, I share everything with my spouse.
Right.
You hear that a lot.
Then maybe you need therapy.
I mean, that's, you know, that's a challenge.
I mean, I'm agreeing with what you're saying.
I roll my eyes when I hear that.
Yeah.
It's a nice thing to say.
Sure.
But I don't know if it's so.
And taking the teachable moment even a little further,
I would say is that I know a lot of people
that don't have a lot of friends.
And I'm actually, you know,
I'm a little sad for them right now.
I feel bad for them.
Yeah.
I feel bad for those people.
And I want to tell you something, you know, in sales,
and you know, I teach people all the time
in cold calling and the approach,
make yourself vulnerable, call a new potential customer
in the area and say, you know what,
I'm new to this neighborhood.
I just started last week.
I need your help.
Can you please, it's okay to say
that people will actually respect it.
People will resonate with it.
When you say, I just need a little bit of help.
This is my first job.
I'm here for a week.
Can you give me a minute?
So I say, you know what, let me help this fellow out.
Let's take that to the next level.
Here we go.
You ready?
Yeah.
You know, you have a group of people
that are accessible to you,
whether it's your church, whether it's your school,
whether it's your job, there are people in your circle.
If you look around, and I'm talking now to that person
who doesn't have a lot of friends,
and I'm telling them, open your eyes,
look around on the weekends,
look around during the week, look around at nights.
When you go pray, when you're at work,
look around to your circle,
and ask yourself, what's gonna happen if I be vulnerable?
And I go to the person that's the closest to me.
Maybe you're not, you don't feel close to them
because you don't have a lot of friends.
But you go to the person that's closest to you
and you say to them, can I have two minutes of your time?
Magic.
Anybody that goes to anyone.
If somebody comes over to you randomly,
or she insists to you, can I get two minutes of your time?
And you hardly know them.
What are you gonna say to them?
You wouldn't give them two minutes?
That's not a word.
You're gonna give them two minutes?
No, that's my point.
Yeah, you're giving them two minutes, right?
Exactly.
So what I'm saying is that guys like me and you
were very confident, right?
We have a lot of friends.
I want the world to know, come speak to me.
Come ask me for two minutes of my time.
I will gladly give it to you.
Yeah, well, Michael, people are not gonna want
to just approach you and talk to you
about things that are personal to them
because they don't know you as well.
They're not supposed to come to you or to me.
No, no, no, no, that's actually what I'm saying.
I'm saying come to me.
I'm saying you're a person that doesn't have friends.
You don't have a circle.
Everybody has somebody that they know
that they're friendly with.
Maybe they're not close enough that they can't
share things with that person yet.
The answer is get close.
You know, I'm glad we got to the point.
Get close.
I'm glad we got to the point of disagreement.
I don't agree with you at all.
You know how many people don't have friends?
No such thing, Michael.
No such thing.
Everybody knows somebody who, again,
they may not have good friends,
but everybody, people, unless they're living under a rock
and they're living in the stone ages
and they're a hermit and they never leave their house,
of course not.
But if you have a job,
if you're a functioning societal person,
then you know people.
And if you know people, it's up to you.
It's very easily attained.
You can make friends.
I don't agree.
I'm saying is that of course you could make friends
if you're vulnerable and you take the steps
that we're talking about here.
And of course you have a circle of potential friends,
but there are many people in this world
that do not have close friends.
By choice.
Because they're anxious.
Yeah, because they're introverts.
Introverts.
Because they have low confidence.
That's why.
And therefore, should I put them to the wayside?
No, not put them to the wayside.
I'm saying those people is who I was talking to.
But they exist.
There's far more than many of them.
But they know people that they could make better friends.
But they don't.
Right now they aren't.
Right.
That's what I'm saying is.
Yeah, these answer for someone to be happier
and to care less about what other people think of them.
Of course.
Is to have a confidant.
Is to have somebody that they could talk to
and let that person be the one that you care about.
And talk to that person.
But have the ability to find that.
They have the ability to.
But that's what I was saying a minute ago.
And you're changing it a little bit.
What I'm saying now is that,
we're on the same page, I think,
that not everybody has it now.
I'm telling you.
Yeah, not everybody has it now.
Right.
That's what we're saying.
They should get it.
Oh, okay.
So they should work immediately
and start putting the stepping stones in place
to be vulnerable.
They get closer to any individual
wherever that may be.
That's in their circle.
To the point that they could be vulnerable.
There you go.
Yes.
That's it.
That's the kumbaya moment.
It is.
Yeah.
It's a special one too.
Yeah.
And I think that that makes it so much easier
to navigate your life.
Is to have that circle of trust of people.
You know, you remember the movie with, you know,
Robert De Niro and Ben Stiller's circle of trust?
No.
It's a movie called Circle of Trust?
No, no.
Oh.
It's Meet the Falkers.
Oh, yeah.
Of course I remember that one.
Yeah.
Right?
So Robert De Niro, as he creates.
Yes.
It says Ben.
What's Ben's name in the movie?
I don't remember.
What's his name?
I remember his name.
He says.
I don't remember his name.
I know the movie actually was Meet the Parents.
Not Meet the Foundry.
Meet the Parents was the first movie.
No, Meet the Parents was the second movie.
And then Meet the Falkers was the second one.
It was the second one.
Oh, it happened in the first one?
Okay.
What a movie buff.
Yes, wow.
That's a very big detail to know
between the first and the second movie.
Like that's fine tune.
There are people that I know that can do that.
There are people that I know that can do that to any movie.
That's crazy.
It's unbelievable.
Yeah, that's pretty impressive.
Anyway, you have that circle of trust.
Either you're in or you're out.
You have to have a circle of trust
with someone in your life.
And everything will be better.
Everything.
It's not just what other people
that I think it means that that's gonna be better.
Everything in your life will be better.
I have to tell you that I,
while you were speaking,
I put myself in the shoes mentally, emotionally,
of someone who doesn't have friends.
I tried right now while you were talking
and you were having this back and forth with Stefan.
I was thinking like, why would I have that challenge?
What's holding me back?
And we spoke earlier about the idea of being bullied.
I have to tell you that,
besides the fact that today it exists,
adults bully each other.
It happens.
It really, really happens.
I'm thinking back to when I was a kid.
I was bullied.
To a certain extent, I was bullied.
It happened and I'm not gonna get too into it right now,
but I'm thinking that I'm also bullied as an adult.
If I'm around a group of people,
almost every single time I'm around a group of people,
I find somebody loves putting the other person down
to lift themselves up and it drives me mad.
What are you doing that scenario?
It's the worst.
First of all, you stay away from that person.
Of course.
You cut him off.
But he's there, he's at the party.
You have to put him behind you.
You have to just swap.
What do you do when he does it?
I'm in the kitchen.
You're just not around that person.
What do you do when he does it?
What do you do to fight back?
Exactly.
I make a snide remark back to them and put him down.
Right.
Give him a little taste of his own medicine.
Right.
So I tend to do that sometimes.
Of course.
I tend to do that.
That's my personality.
Like if somebody comes and attacks me,
you attack right back.
Right back.
I attack back.
And a lot of people do that.
And a lot of people just, they take the bite
and they move on.
I do their approach of ignoring.
I completely.
You're very good at that.
You're not a confrontational person.
Right.
You're not somebody that you get into an argument with
and you're gonna see in the street having a loud fight
with someone.
You're not that type of person.
I love the art of an argument.
Yes.
But argument, not a fight.
Right.
Not exactly.
Not getting into a fight.
A respectful argument is fine.
I'm talking more about in a public forum,
you have 50 people around.
And a couple of people say something that you don't like
and offended you.
And it, you know, irks you a little bit.
I'm gonna push back in front of everybody.
I'm not gonna be conscious of the fact that
well, this is a lot of eyeballs here.
I'm gonna do my thing.
It's just a natural reflex that I have.
And it's a problem.
I'm not saying it's a good characteristic.
But that is, you know, when I get bullied,
I bully right back.
Where'd you grow up?
Where as a kid, I grew up in Muncie.
In Muncie.
Yeah.
Beautiful landscape.
Yes. Right.
Lots of trees.
Right.
Everybody has a car that they're transporting
from one place to another.
Sure. Right.
Or, you know, you never really went on a city bus.
You don't even know what that is.
Not so much later.
Right.
A train.
No, not a car.
Right.
Growing up, I was afraid to go on the city bus at 3 PM.
I was afraid for a reason.
Because that's when the public school got out.
The public school kids.
The public school got out at 3 o'clock.
So what happened?
And forget about bullying within your circle.
Take it up a notch to bullying outside your circle.
They don't even know you.
They don't even know me.
Growing up in that environment.
To make sure so little about you,
they could take bullying up to the max throttle.
Harassing.
Yeah.
I mean, I don't even know what it would be called.
But we're talking about a situation where, you know,
I'd walk around with mace in my pocket.
Did you really?
Yeah.
Wow.
Yeah.
I grew up in an environment where fighting was normal.
We're getting mugged.
How old were you?
12.
That's crazy.
That you had 13.
14 of mace.
Listen, I walked around with brass knuckles.
Not that I ever had to use it.
And the fact that you're saying now
about me being non-confrontational,
I actually agree with you,
but I'm thinking back.
It comes from an environment
of living on the streets of Brooklyn
where fighting and mugging and hurting one another
is a common everyday thing.
So when you grow up in a certain environment,
as you get older, you learn from that.
And you want to stay away from it.
I want to stay away from confrontation.
And the truth is,
I'm not even sure it's such a good thing right now
because I, you know, some people would call me a wuss.
What do you do now?
Would you stand up for yourself?
I don't know.
I shy away from God.
What do you do if you go to an event
and someone insults your significant other?
Someone that's different, pushes your friends different.
That you absolutely have to stand up.
At the moment, you have to do something about it.
Because standing up for you,
you're entitled to swallow your own honor,
but you are not afforded that same luxury
for somebody else's honor.
Even at risk.
And especially of being her significant other, especially.
Especially.
You have to make it very clear at that moment
that you're standing up for that person.
You know, by the way, not for nothing,
that's the whole thing that happened with Will Smith.
You realize this?
Will Smith got very provoked from Chris Rock
that infamous incident where we had that slap
at the Oscars, what happened was,
his wife was offended by a joke that Chris Rock had said.
And Will Smith noticed that.
And it hurt him as much as it hurt her.
Because he took offense for his wife,
even more than it would hurt her.
Exactly, exactly.
And he reacted in the way he did, I believe,
irrationally, obviously he did something
that was uncalled for.
But can you really blame the person
being in that state of mind?
It was standing up for his wife's honor.
I believe also, in this incident when happened,
when he was walking up to the stage,
he had about 30 seconds, 20 seconds,
to think why he was walking up.
I don't think during that time he intended
to actually hit Chris Rock.
No way.
I think he intended to go up there,
just make like a move on him, just like as a joke.
No.
As a joke, he didn't.
He was hitting him the second he got out.
No, I don't think he intended to hit him
from the moment he got out of his chair.
Just second.
I think when he got to him, when he got them and he arrived,
he gave them like, he also meant to give like,
and it got him harder than he intended.
I don't think it was as bad, it wasn't malicious.
I don't think it was as malicious as he did.
It was extremely malicious.
And in fact, I had a difficult time watching
the new Bad Boys movie because of it.
I'm not gonna lie to you.
You watched the new Bad Boys movie?
Ha ha ha.
30 years ago, I think it was the first time
the first Bad Boys came out.
25, 30 years ago, that was a great movie.
It was a great movie.
And the most recent movie, I believe Will Smith
and Lauren Lawrence have unbelievable chemistry.
The two of them are just stars.
The two of them are, they're their banter,
they're exchanged between the two of them.
And their personalities, how they portray them
in the movies, it works so well.
It meshes beautifully.
It's like, it's a beautiful symphony
between the two of them.
But you were saying that you don't think that this was,
first of all, this was really, really bad.
First of all, you deserve what he got.
Do you think Will Smith deserved to get the backlash
that he received?
I don't think he got enough.
You think he should have gotten more?
Yeah.
You don't think he did enough time?
What time did he do?
I mean, he got banned from the Oscars for five years.
Okay.
The whole Hollywood turned their back.
I'm sorry, did he apologize publicly?
Media posted him up and made and threw him down.
Like all of a sudden, all the good things Will Smith
ever did in his life didn't matter anymore.
This is who he was now.
By the way, this is another example
of people tearing someone else down.
I actually think you're defending him
instead of not protecting.
I'm not defending his action.
Okay.
I'd say what he did was wrong.
He assaulted someone.
He physically assaulted someone.
Sorry, did he apologize bad?
Did he apologize or see apologize publicly?
Tear see apologize with real tears.
Sure, you went on a couple of shows afterwards
and he apologized.
Are they friends now?
The minute he did what he did, he regretted.
Right away, he regretted it.
Instantaneously regretted it.
And I think that what happened to him
really got blown out of proportion
and they annihilated him.
They totally crucified him.
I don't think he deserved what he got.
I think we're human beings.
We make mistakes.
And not everybody is perfect far from it.
And this is just what it was.
People saw an opportunity to knock someone else.
I'm very sorry.
And it made themselves feel better.
I don't know if I agree.
This is a much larger discussion.
We're talking about, you don't give the right
for someone to screw up and for him to be annihilated
forever because he really screwed up.
No, everyone believe in second chance?
I do believe it's...
He did this by public form.
Yes, yes.
10.
Correct.
It was very milling.
Yes.
It was magnified because it was such a public state.
For the record, let me just say that yes,
if someone's a pedophile, their life is over.
Right?
Yeah.
Right?
They were dangerous to us.
Sure, sure.
Yes.
If someone, you know,
Ellen DeGeneres came out as being a very angry person.
Someone who was very rude to work with.
Allegedly.
Allegedly?
Yeah, allegedly.
We don't know this for certain.
She was never mean to me.
What does she mean to you?
So you only believe what something happens to you?
There are some people that are saying
that she was actually a great boss.
I see.
There are others that are saying
that they didn't know what the other people were talking about.
Okay.
Right?
So there's a slew of people that are coming out against her.
All I'm saying is that...
There are others that actually are big fans of her.
So we don't really know.
We don't really know what we have.
The Reserve Judgement, it is not our place
to come and to say this is what it is.
Ellen DeGeneres is a bad person.
Maybe she is, by the way.
Maybe she is.
I don't know.
All right.
All I'm saying is that I would hope people don't judge me that way.
I would hope people that don't know me and don't know you would give us
the courtesy of not making any judgments
until they've seen or heard something with their own eyes and ears.
Right. Exactly.
Like 5 million people watching live on a show
when someone gets up angrily and smacks his friend in front of...
Oh, I agree.
So my point is that I don't agree with you
that he didn't think about it.
He got up, he knew exactly what he was going to do.
I think he actually tamed down by the time he got up there.
And the fact is, yes, he served the punishment.
I do agree with you.
He served it.
Yeah, you know, and you should be able to move on.
You're allowed to make mistakes.
I believe in second chances.
I still had a hard time watching the movie.
I'm not going to lie to you.
I still had a hard time.
Look, my viewpoint to him changed.
By the way, the concept of talking bad about people is so real
is because when you hear something about somebody,
your view changes on them.
I used to sit in synagogue and shul on the weekends.
And I have a friend that was obsessed with other people
and how successful they are.
Obsessed.
So I'm going to come over to him.
He's keeping down.
Oh, yeah.
He knew all the latest and all the greatest
of what's going on.
Everybody, every synagogue has that type.
And it has those type of people.
Right.
You know what I'm talking about?
So he would come over.
You see that guy right over there?
He just made a deal.
He made $5 million last week.
Look at the car outside.
Yeah, exactly.
People love talking about that in general.
And I feel like you should be able to give someone
a second chance.
But yeah, it has to be balanced.
That's all I'm saying.
It has to be balanced, which this is all a part of don't judge
others as you wouldn't want to be judged.
That's the bottom line.
And we're not gods.
We're not the judge during the executioners in anybody's lives.
And people make mistakes.
People suck.
People fail.
People are meant.
That's what makes them people.
That is the greatest attribute of being a human being,
is that you're designed to be flawed.
So you have to hone it in.
And you have to cultivate this.
You have to bring out that good.
It's not just there by on its own.
You have to really toil and work hard to bring out
that goodness, because there is a lot.
There is a lot of goodness.
And you have to bring it out.
And we all make mistakes.
You get a second chance.
You get a third chance.
And it's endless.
You get as many chances.
Sure.
Keep trying.
Sure.
It didn't work yet?
Try again.
Keep trying.
Are you a forgiving person?
Yes, you are.
Very.
So me personally, and all my friends who know me,
would agree and notice.
I get pretty upset pretty quickly.
I get insulted pretty quickly.
But I get over it just as quickly.
I get over it very fast.
I could be really upset at someone.
I could really upset.
I was really hurt by that person.
And I take it so to heart.
And it cuts me deeply.
And I want to talk to this person right now.
And I'm very upset.
Give me a couple of days.
A couple of days later, nothing happened.
Like nothing happened.
And it's an emotional swing.
It really, I think that's great.
I'm also a forgivable person.
I don't hold grudges at all.
Probably five minutes later, to the next thing.
You and I are like that.
Yes, we're able to move on.
Move on.
We don't get stuck in the moment.
Yeah, we don't get stuck in the mud.
Right.
Exactly.
We keep it going.
And I think that's a not.
I think a lot of people would prefer to have them.
And did it ever happen to you that someone didn't forgive you?
Like you did something to someone and they just like,
they're not getting over it.
They're just like, they're so upset at you.
And it's just like, it's like, I don't know if I had anybody
in my life that I could think of.
But I did something to.
And they got upset at me.
And they're still till today upset at me.
Is there ever something that you did to someone that,
or I'm sorry, that someone did something to you that.
I'm still upset.
Yeah.
Or that you were upset about more than a day or two.
Like it hung on to you.
I don't think so.
I really don't think that there are anything, any person,
that I strife with, that I'm still right now holding grudge.
But even an extended period of time that I held on to a grudge.
I don't think so.
OK.
I really don't think so.
And then I think the key.
I'll tell you though, I get upset pretty quickly.
Yeah.
I get insulted very often.
You don't have to convey that it happens.
But at the same time, it's all.
You know, a lot of times it's part of my MO.
Like a lot of people, you know, they kind of make a joke about it.
So I play into it a little bit.
I have to play into it a little bit to keep that facade going.
You know, and it's fun.
It's all in good fun.
And you know, Michael, this is another part that makes me happier.
And I think can make other people happier.
Is that they don't take themselves too seriously.
They allow themselves to be made fun of.
They allow themselves to be the butt of a joke.
Sometimes it's OK.
It's OK because then you won't take yourself too seriously.
And if you don't take yourself too seriously,
it'll also make you happier.
It'll also free you.
You'll also be able to live life in a carefree manner
if you don't take yourself too seriously.
So it goes back to what we were talking about.
Absolutely.
Is that the parameter 100 to 0?
I love that.
Gotta be at 50.
Let's end today's session talking about how we started, right?
And talking about the fact that, you know, you have to be confident, right?
You have to be vulnerable.
Yes.
And you have to be forgiving.
Forgiving.
And you have to move on.
And ultimately, those are recipes to being happier.
To be.
Do you want to be right?
Yeah.
Or do you want to be happy?
100%.
Which one?
Right.
I agree.
That's another one.
And we'll end with that.
LaRae, I am a peaceful moment.
Cheers.
All right.
We always like to reflect on our podcast, Oshi.
That's something that was given to us as a suggestion from some of our listeners.
And in doing so, I want to tell you,
I love getting to know different sides of you and me,
getting vulnerable and having teachable moments.
And I think that's where we're heading continuously in the growth of this podcast, Oshi.
Yeah.
By the way, not for nothing.
The main reason I think people go to therapy is not necessarily to hear what the therapist
is telling them, the advice that they're going to give, the consultation, a big part of it,
is to hear yourself speak, right?
You learn a lot about yourself when you say things out loud.
And I think when we do this podcast, Michael, a lot of that is happening to us,
is that we are having discussions and we're talking about things that we typically don't discuss.
And we get to hear ourselves speak.
And I learned things about myself too along the way.
And I think that's very cool that people get to learn things about me at the same time I'm learning them as well.
And I think that's the vulnerable part that you talk about a lot is for something to happen in the public eye,
whether it's growth, your experiences to share that with other people, it's always a risk.
And it's always very nerve wracking.
And you have to overcome that.
And you have to be more bold and you have to take risks because ultimately,
the more risk you take, the bigger the reward.
And I think the reward for us is not just that we can help other people.
We're helping ourselves along the way by having these meaningful discussions.
I agree. And I want to wrap it up in a bow and give our final takeaway from this episode of speaking to others is therapeutic for others and for yourself.
And it's something that you can always learn from when opening up yourself to others and allowing others to open themselves up to you.
And on that note, please like, subscribe, follow, give us your comments and feedback.
We always appreciate it.
We are listening.
We're working on our listening skills every single time we speak to each other and we're listening to what you have to say.
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See you next time.