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I'm saying is that guys like me and you were very confident, right?

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We have a lot of friends.

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I want the world to know.

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Come speak to me.

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Come ask me for two minutes of my time.

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I will gladly give it to you.

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You know that your business, Sushi, none of your business, Michael,

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it's the none of your business podcast hosted by Michael Anushin.

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I actually like the podcast.

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I mean, you have a lot.

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I think that we were both very honest with each other.

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We were very open.

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We were just having a conversation.

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There was nothing planned.

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Wasn't scripted.

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And we were just saying how we feel.

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And I think that through our experiences, we really just put it into words and shared that with one another.

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And I think that's ultimately what people want to hear.

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Honestly, it's what I want to hear.

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I like when you get vulnerable with me.

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I like when you're telling me stories about your life that I didn't know about.

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And to be honest with you, I actually enjoyed being vulnerable.

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You know, I just did a LinkedIn live with Ellie Goldring and it was talking about trade shows.

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He got vulnerable three times on the live.

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And he spoke about things that he would normally never speak about.

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And he realized afterwards, he's like, Michael, you know, what's amazing?

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You have over 100 people listening to you LinkedIn live every week, right?

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And your message is getting out there and the impact that you're making.

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I feel that our conversations is leading towards things that we're learning from each other.

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I like listening to your stories.

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I like you getting vulnerable.

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I actually enjoy when I get vulnerable.

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Yeah, no, for sure.

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It's not something that you find to be fun.

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You know, it's not like everybody, oh, I can't wait until I'm being vulnerable.

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But it's the only real way to really be honest with one another and talk about things that people can resonate with

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because they're thinking the same things in their head possibly, but they're just not saying it out loud.

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So by us airing what other people are thinking, it takes a little bit of courage to do that.

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You have to be bold, you know, because not everything you're going to say is going to be received well.

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So by being vulnerable and being open, I think makes you a little bit liable towards, you know, some type of backlash

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or something that isn't going to go over well.

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But that's what you have to get over.

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That's exactly the part that that's what it takes in order for you to get a message out and to help people

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and people can take something away.

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It comes with that risk, the bigger the risk, the bigger the reward.

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I've heard you say it.

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I've heard you say recently to the team of reps that we have, if you're not feeling that emotion, you're not living.

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And that resonated with me.

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You know, obviously you have to be careful what you say and how you say and where you say it.

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Know the setting, listen to your surrounding.

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But I actually very much enjoyed our discussion.

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I hope we have more of it.

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And let's give the listeners a taste of our being vulnerable.

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Yeah, for sure.

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All right, let's do it.

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We are back with a None of Your Business podcast.

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I am so excited to continue this journey, especially with this beautiful bottle of wine, Oshie, that you brought me.

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Well, you know, it's funny this bottle of wine actually was meant for one of our customers.

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Oh, okay.

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I actually bought as a gift.

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It was his birthday and I was supposed to deliver it to his house and it was sitting on my car and I forgot.

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Whoa, whoa, whoa.

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How long has it been sitting in your car?

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At least six months.

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You throw this out, Stefan?

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No, no, no.

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I'm gonna pour right here.

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It's all good.

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By the way, this is why it was meant to be that I left it in my car and I didn't deliver it.

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So in a time like this, we have a bottle of wine.

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That's what it was for.

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You know, that's one way of looking at it or the other way is don't ever leave a bottle of wine in your car because this is going to taste disgusting.

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However, I'm excited to give it a shot because it does look like a nice bottle.

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You know, wine is wine.

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It'll do it.

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It'll be fine.

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No, no, wine is not just wine.

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But let's just start first by thanking God for bringing us to this moment.

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I'm excited to be here with you and to continue on this journey.

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The None of Your Business podcast.

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You know what?

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It's not so terrible.

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Not terrible at all?

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No, no.

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It's okay.

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Actually, I actually enjoy it.

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How was your week?

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How was my week?

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So I got to tell you, I was in Arizona this week and it was hot.

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It was hot.

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It was 106 degrees.

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But it's dry heat.

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That's what everybody always says.

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It's dry heat.

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Okay, who cares?

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It's still 106 degrees.

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It's still very, very hot.

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The minute you walk off the plane and you walk on into the terminal, the heat attacks you.

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It's instantaneous.

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You feel it right away.

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The first second you get off the plane and you're in for a real treat.

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But I used to it.

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After the second, by the second day, it was fine.

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It wasn't so bad.

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You know what?

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I didn't get used to?

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That attacked me.

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Your tuna sandwich that you opened.

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Oh, right.

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Sitting in the middle seat right next to me, whipping open a tuna sandwich.

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I didn't think about it.

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When I purchased the, when I bought the tuna sandwich, I didn't think about eating it on the plane and it's potentially going to smell and it's not nice to the people next to it.

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I didn't think about that.

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Oh, so now you're admitting it was a mistake?

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No, I agree.

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In hindsight, I wouldn't buy a tuna for sandwich again when I go on an airplane.

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There are certain rules, I think, right?

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Yes.

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I think there are always certain etiquettes when you go on to an airplane that you have to be considerate of.

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You know, I hate the people that talk on their phone before the plane's about to take off.

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You know, you have like, usually 20 minutes on the plane and there's somebody sitting next to you in front of you behind you.

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Totally oblivious to people around them and they're having a full-fledged conversation.

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Actually, there was someone on the flight next to me that was watching a movie without headshots.

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That's crazy.

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What are you doing?

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Yeah, that's that role.

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I couldn't say anything because there were like two seats ahead of me, but I heard it, the entire flight.

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And no one was saying anything.

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That's crazy.

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If you hear something, say something.

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It's not just that it's rude.

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I think it says a lot about that person.

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Yeah.

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They're socially off.

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Something is missing that they don't realize that they're playing this out loud for other people, living in their own bubble.

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It's very true.

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It's very true.

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On that end, you should hear what people say.

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You should not hear about what people say necessarily.

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This is about caring about other people, just being a common courtesy to them, you know, is very basic.

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It's the baseline of living.

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We could have 10 episodes.

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The world is not your ass trait.

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You can't just do it every one, wherever you go.

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You have to understand other people around.

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That's true.

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They're never taken into account.

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But I'll tell you this, Michael, talking about other people, I started hearing a lot of feedback from a lot of people.

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And I got support from people and I got certainly a lot of people chiming in with their negativity.

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You always have those as well, a little bit of both.

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And it got me thinking, do I really care what a lot of these people are thinking about?

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Like, I'm doing this podcast and a big part of me is what are people going to think?

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Are people going to be in tune with this?

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Are people going to like it?

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Are they going to listen?

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And then another part of me is saying, wait a second, why am I so concerned about that?

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Why am I not just concerned about living at the moment?

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I'm enjoying it.

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We're having a good time.

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We're doing a podcast.

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It's great.

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And let it be whatever it's going to be.

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Let the chips fall where they may.

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That should be the attitude that I'm taking.

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And I think in life in general, we put a lot of stock in what other people think.

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And how often do you think that affects us?

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And how often do you think we don't get the full enjoyment out of something because we're too concerned and we're too tied into what are other people going to make?

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I definitely think that every day you think about how other people think about you.

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Multiple times.

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Yeah, every day.

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The question is, is it from a positive place or a negative place?

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Meaning when you get dressed in the morning, I don't care how much you say, oh, I'm looking good for myself.

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You're not putting on that boss shirt specifically for yourself.

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Yes, it's comfortable.

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It's quality.

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But it has a logo.

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It tells people I have a nice shirt.

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Isn't that a reason why you're wearing the most shirt?

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Or are you going to tell me it's just completely for yourself?

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I think that's another topic is people wearing brand names.

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Yeah.

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Obviously, there's a part of you that's doing it because you want to make an impression on others.

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You're spending a lot of money on a brand, a lot of money, spending a lot of extra money.

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And part of why you're doing that has to be because you want to make a certain mark on another person.

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People have issues, by the way, with their kids and their spouses spending money on high-brained items.

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Right.

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That's a big challenge.

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Especially if they can't afford it.

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Right.

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They need it so much that they're still spending the money on it.

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Every day, a while, about what people say about us.

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But what were you thinking about?

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In what context?

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The way I'm looking at it is you have to be aware that sometimes, not sometimes, a lot of times,

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when you're doing things, you're doing it because of what somebody else is expecting of you.

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Or what somebody else wants from you.

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And you're not actually meaning your own needs.

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You're not actually doing something that you wanted to yourself, which is the right thing to do.

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Because who's more important than yourself and the people that are close to you, your family members,

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you loved ones, you're very close friends.

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It's okay to be concerned with what they're going to think about because they're close to you.

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And I think that coincides.

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I think that clashes very well.

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I think it's really a package deal.

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It's a healthy thing to care about other big rights.

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But who?

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The people that you don't even know.

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The people that don't really care about you, those people?

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No, no, not those people.

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And we do sometimes a lot of things that are for those people.

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That's what I'm talking about.

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Talking about that perception from those people that don't really matter to me,

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I have to learn to totally cut those people off.

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Let's divide it for a second, both professionally and personally.

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Because if you divide it, you can actually conquer this challenge, right?

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Professionally, you should care what other people think about you, right?

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You want to have a persona of someone that is professional, respected.

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A thought leader in an industry wants to be looked upon as high regard.

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So the way you look, the way you dress, it's very, very important.

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Whereas on a personal level, I don't know if it is as important than a professional level.

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I totally agree.

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I'm with you.

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I think on the business side of things, it's all about serving others, right?

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It's always selling something you want someone else to buy from you.

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And you have to make an impression.

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And you have to think about, what are they going to think if I say this?

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What are they going to think if I write the email in this way?

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And that way, that's how you have to think.

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It's almost quite the opposite.

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But in your personal life, when you're talking about, you know,

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should I do this or should I not do this?

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Well, this is what I want to do.

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But how's it going to look?

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What are other people going to say?

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Give me an example.

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Maybe I shouldn't do it.

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Give me an example.

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I think there's so many examples.

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It's like, what happened this week?

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It's hard about it.

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Let's talk about it.

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Let's talk about it.

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A podcast.

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Maybe more people would do a podcast because they don't have the fear of

245
00:10:56,380 --> 00:10:58,380
what other people are going to say, right?

246
00:10:58,380 --> 00:11:00,380
They're talking now in a public forum.

247
00:11:00,380 --> 00:11:02,380
People are going to hear a lot about their lives.

248
00:11:02,380 --> 00:11:07,380
And that's a very scary thing because now you're inviting other people's opinions

249
00:11:07,380 --> 00:11:12,380
and you're really susceptible to just being in an uncomfortable position

250
00:11:12,380 --> 00:11:14,380
where you might be hurt, right?

251
00:11:14,380 --> 00:11:15,380
You might be hurt.

252
00:11:15,380 --> 00:11:19,380
So if you don't have that fear of what others are going to say and how that's

253
00:11:19,380 --> 00:11:24,380
going to have a bearing on you, then it's just a better way to live.

254
00:11:24,380 --> 00:11:30,380
When I was 13 years old, I literally spent, I'm not going to exaggerate, 25 minutes

255
00:11:30,380 --> 00:11:33,380
in front of the mirror before I left the house.

256
00:11:33,380 --> 00:11:37,380
I would sit there and make sure that every follicle, every piece of my here is in the

257
00:11:37,380 --> 00:11:39,380
perfect position.

258
00:11:39,380 --> 00:11:42,380
And I realized growing up that I was doing it for others.

259
00:11:42,380 --> 00:11:46,380
And I was looking at myself in the mirror and thinking everybody is going to see every

260
00:11:46,380 --> 00:11:48,380
piece of here that's off.

261
00:11:48,380 --> 00:11:51,380
Everybody's going to see every pimple or blemish that I have on my face.

262
00:11:51,380 --> 00:11:52,380
And I was worried about it.

263
00:11:52,380 --> 00:11:57,380
I think that the idea of worrying about what other people say comes from when we were kids.

264
00:11:57,380 --> 00:11:59,380
It's like how we grew up.

265
00:11:59,380 --> 00:12:04,380
In fact, if you want to tie the two together, I think bullying is a big part of it.

266
00:12:04,380 --> 00:12:09,380
If I think back to now, like why was I thinking about the way my hair looked so much?

267
00:12:09,380 --> 00:12:12,380
I think back to the kids that made fun of me that, you know, my hair didn't look good

268
00:12:12,380 --> 00:12:15,380
or it was, they called me grease boy, you know, because it looked greasy.

269
00:12:15,380 --> 00:12:17,380
I had like oily hair.

270
00:12:17,380 --> 00:12:19,380
You're looking at my hair now.

271
00:12:19,380 --> 00:12:20,380
It's still greasy.

272
00:12:20,380 --> 00:12:21,380
How could I not?

273
00:12:21,380 --> 00:12:22,380
How could I not?

274
00:12:22,380 --> 00:12:23,380
I got to see this any belittling.

275
00:12:23,380 --> 00:12:24,380
Okay, thank God.

276
00:12:24,380 --> 00:12:26,380
I don't see it, by the way.

277
00:12:26,380 --> 00:12:27,380
Thank you.

278
00:12:27,380 --> 00:12:28,380
I appreciate it.

279
00:12:28,380 --> 00:12:29,380
You've overcome that phase of your life.

280
00:12:29,380 --> 00:12:32,380
I appreciate you not bullying me, but you're right.

281
00:12:32,380 --> 00:12:36,380
If somebody wouldn't be bullying that person, then they wouldn't have to be concerned with

282
00:12:36,380 --> 00:12:38,380
what they're going to react to.

283
00:12:38,380 --> 00:12:42,380
You know, it's funny, my dad used to tell me that, you know, if you're not friendly

284
00:12:42,380 --> 00:12:45,380
with a kid because he's being mean to you, right, a certain way.

285
00:12:45,380 --> 00:12:49,380
Or if he's a certain type of personality, he says to me, you don't think there's 70-year-olds

286
00:12:49,380 --> 00:12:51,380
that I feel the same way about?

287
00:12:51,380 --> 00:12:55,380
It really opened my eyes to the fact that some people, they don't change.

288
00:12:55,380 --> 00:12:56,380
They don't change.

289
00:12:56,380 --> 00:13:00,380
They're the same people in the way they're 40s and they're 50s still making fun of others,

290
00:13:00,380 --> 00:13:04,380
still getting that good feeling of putting other people down.

291
00:13:04,380 --> 00:13:06,380
Which is like, it's life-changing.

292
00:13:06,380 --> 00:13:10,380
It sometimes can break a person, literally, like what you're saying with the feedback that

293
00:13:10,380 --> 00:13:11,380
we're getting.

294
00:13:11,380 --> 00:13:12,380
Yeah, I know, really could.

295
00:13:12,380 --> 00:13:18,380
And I don't see why it should change, you know, this is a human nature that you'll have to

296
00:13:18,380 --> 00:13:19,380
the day you die.

297
00:13:19,380 --> 00:13:24,380
Is that there is a part of you that's always going to be concerned about what others are,

298
00:13:24,380 --> 00:13:26,380
what does the world expect?

299
00:13:26,380 --> 00:13:27,380
What does the community expect?

300
00:13:27,380 --> 00:13:30,380
And as soon as you fall out of line with that, you're worried.

301
00:13:30,380 --> 00:13:33,380
You're worried that you're going to be shunned.

302
00:13:33,380 --> 00:13:37,380
You're worried that people are potentially not going to talk to you anymore.

303
00:13:37,380 --> 00:13:43,380
So you have a lot of that anxieties that you have to contend with and that really, unfortunately,

304
00:13:43,380 --> 00:13:50,380
leads people to have depressions, which is a very big problem today, I think more than

305
00:13:50,380 --> 00:13:51,380
ever.

306
00:13:51,380 --> 00:13:53,380
And these are real things that need to be discussed.

307
00:13:53,380 --> 00:13:58,380
Mental health is a real, real thing that absolutely has to be addressed.

308
00:13:58,380 --> 00:14:04,380
And I think this is a very big part of it is people putting too much stock in what other

309
00:14:04,380 --> 00:14:05,380
people think.

310
00:14:05,380 --> 00:14:06,380
Yeah, it's huge.

311
00:14:06,380 --> 00:14:08,380
We were in Arizona this week at a conference.

312
00:14:08,380 --> 00:14:10,380
And what a conference it was.

313
00:14:10,380 --> 00:14:16,380
I mean, every conference that we go to is so important with networking and connecting and

314
00:14:16,380 --> 00:14:20,380
just really meeting with the people that you even know and introducing to people that you

315
00:14:20,380 --> 00:14:21,380
don't know.

316
00:14:21,380 --> 00:14:26,380
I experienced something exactly to what you're discussing now as far as what other people

317
00:14:26,380 --> 00:14:27,380
say.

318
00:14:27,380 --> 00:14:32,380
And that is that naturally there are men and women amongst the crowd when you go to a

319
00:14:32,380 --> 00:14:33,380
conference.

320
00:14:33,380 --> 00:14:34,380
There's nothing you could do about it.

321
00:14:34,380 --> 00:14:37,880
Men are equally in business as women are.

322
00:14:37,880 --> 00:14:43,880
And many times you'll be amongst that type of environment.

323
00:14:43,880 --> 00:14:48,780
So I experienced something where I was taking selfies with people just so I can promote how

324
00:14:48,780 --> 00:14:53,100
amazing this conference was at the end and put a collage of photos.

325
00:14:53,100 --> 00:14:57,260
And there was a woman that was a rep that went together with another man and we all took

326
00:14:57,260 --> 00:15:00,380
a selfie and he came over to me afterwards and he goes, please don't use that picture.

327
00:15:00,380 --> 00:15:03,020
What do you mean don't use that picture?

328
00:15:03,020 --> 00:15:04,020
What's wrong with the picture?

329
00:15:04,020 --> 00:15:05,580
I don't want to be seen with another woman.

330
00:15:05,580 --> 00:15:09,980
I was even born in business and he was so nervous, so anxious.

331
00:15:09,980 --> 00:15:12,380
He was literally sweating as he was telling it to me.

332
00:15:12,380 --> 00:15:14,620
No, no, no, please make sure I'm like, so you don't got to tell me twice.

333
00:15:14,620 --> 00:15:15,620
So I got it.

334
00:15:15,620 --> 00:15:18,460
But I never thought in a million years there would be an issue just because he's with

335
00:15:18,460 --> 00:15:19,960
a woman in a photo.

336
00:15:19,960 --> 00:15:23,380
That's how because he's worried that it could be misrepresented.

337
00:15:23,380 --> 00:15:24,380
Exactly.

338
00:15:24,380 --> 00:15:27,380
He's worried that some people might take offense and some people do.

339
00:15:27,380 --> 00:15:28,380
And he's yeah.

340
00:15:28,380 --> 00:15:31,340
And even if he doesn't have a problem with it and his wife doesn't have a problem with

341
00:15:31,340 --> 00:15:35,940
it, but others may have a problem with it and that is provoking him to have a panic

342
00:15:35,940 --> 00:15:36,940
attack at this.

343
00:15:36,940 --> 00:15:37,940
They say, well, don't use the picture.

344
00:15:37,940 --> 00:15:38,940
Don't use the picture.

345
00:15:38,940 --> 00:15:39,940
Right.

346
00:15:39,940 --> 00:15:42,460
And how many other times do we do that throughout the day throughout the week?

347
00:15:42,460 --> 00:15:47,420
We do it all the time is that we're making snap decisions based on not what you think,

348
00:15:47,420 --> 00:15:50,540
not what matters to you, but what matters to somebody else.

349
00:15:50,540 --> 00:15:52,980
And what's the outside world going to look at this?

350
00:15:52,980 --> 00:15:54,780
And there's tons, tons of examples.

351
00:15:54,780 --> 00:15:55,780
We all do it.

352
00:15:55,780 --> 00:15:57,900
We all do it all the time.

353
00:15:57,900 --> 00:15:59,500
And we just have to be more weird.

354
00:15:59,500 --> 00:16:02,620
When do you do it to others?

355
00:16:02,620 --> 00:16:09,420
I mean, you know, I think a big part of wanting to be successful and wanting to make a lot

356
00:16:09,420 --> 00:16:16,220
of money is not necessarily because I want to have nice things or because I want to have

357
00:16:16,220 --> 00:16:20,540
a list of things I have to buy and I have a list of places I have to go to and I need

358
00:16:20,540 --> 00:16:21,540
to have money for that.

359
00:16:21,540 --> 00:16:24,100
I don't think that's ultimately what drives me.

360
00:16:24,100 --> 00:16:29,380
I think by having, by being successful and not just in money, but by being successful

361
00:16:29,380 --> 00:16:33,900
in different things, you know, some people are very successful in sports, every league

362
00:16:33,900 --> 00:16:35,900
that they play, they're very athletic and they're always winning.

363
00:16:35,900 --> 00:16:37,460
They have a perception, right?

364
00:16:37,460 --> 00:16:38,780
And then they have to keep it up, right?

365
00:16:38,780 --> 00:16:40,660
When they're losing, it doesn't look so good.

366
00:16:40,660 --> 00:16:44,580
So they try very hard and that's what drives them is that they're afraid to lose because

367
00:16:44,580 --> 00:16:49,300
other people might not view them in the same way.

368
00:16:49,300 --> 00:16:54,420
And when you want to be successful, it's because you want other people to validate you, to

369
00:16:54,420 --> 00:16:55,420
legitimize you.

370
00:16:55,420 --> 00:16:58,220
It's not good enough that you think you're great, right?

371
00:16:58,220 --> 00:17:01,060
And that you think you're wonderful and your wife thinks you're amazing and your kids think

372
00:17:01,060 --> 00:17:02,060
you're amazing.

373
00:17:02,060 --> 00:17:03,460
What does my neighbor think?

374
00:17:03,460 --> 00:17:05,220
Does he think I'm amazing?

375
00:17:05,220 --> 00:17:08,980
Does the guy who lives eight blocks away, does the guy who lives in a different city

376
00:17:08,980 --> 00:17:11,900
and state that I don't even know as well, that I talk to maybe two or three times a

377
00:17:11,900 --> 00:17:13,540
year, does anything come great?

378
00:17:13,540 --> 00:17:19,180
Can you imagine it goes that far and those people don't matter in any which way.

379
00:17:19,180 --> 00:17:20,700
Why would you care?

380
00:17:20,700 --> 00:17:24,860
But what drives me and I think a lot of people to want to be successful is because that is

381
00:17:24,860 --> 00:17:30,860
how we labeled it as you must be a great person and you must have a good life and you must

382
00:17:30,860 --> 00:17:34,700
be happy because you're successful in this and in that.

383
00:17:34,700 --> 00:17:35,700
You play baseball.

384
00:17:35,700 --> 00:17:36,700
Yeah.

385
00:17:36,700 --> 00:17:37,700
You love.

386
00:17:37,700 --> 00:17:38,700
I try.

387
00:17:38,700 --> 00:17:39,700
I try.

388
00:17:39,700 --> 00:17:40,700
I think you love that game of baseball.

389
00:17:40,700 --> 00:17:41,700
I mean, we have trophies.

390
00:17:41,700 --> 00:17:42,700
We play softball, not baseball.

391
00:17:42,700 --> 00:17:43,700
Okay.

392
00:17:43,700 --> 00:17:44,700
All right.

393
00:17:44,700 --> 00:17:45,700
Well, play softball.

394
00:17:45,700 --> 00:17:49,580
So you ever see the women softball games, how they pitch?

395
00:17:49,580 --> 00:17:50,580
Sure.

396
00:17:50,580 --> 00:17:51,580
I don't think I could ever get a pitch.

397
00:17:51,580 --> 00:17:52,580
The windmill pitch.

398
00:17:52,580 --> 00:17:53,580
Is that what's called?

399
00:17:53,580 --> 00:17:54,860
You don't have fast, they pitch the women?

400
00:17:54,860 --> 00:17:55,860
How fast?

401
00:17:55,860 --> 00:17:57,900
About 60 to 70 miles an hour.

402
00:17:57,900 --> 00:17:58,900
Underhand, rounder hand.

403
00:17:58,900 --> 00:17:59,900
What?

404
00:17:59,900 --> 00:18:03,860
It's actually very, it's a real technique in how they do it because they don't just

405
00:18:03,860 --> 00:18:05,220
like spin their hand around.

406
00:18:05,220 --> 00:18:06,220
It's one spin.

407
00:18:06,220 --> 00:18:10,540
If they lift their hand up, they do one quick spin and then they release it when their arm

408
00:18:10,540 --> 00:18:14,460
is coming all the way down right from the hip and they just flick the wrist.

409
00:18:14,460 --> 00:18:18,900
They flip the wrist and they shoot the ball out and it goes fast.

410
00:18:18,900 --> 00:18:22,420
60 to 70 is very hard to do overhand.

411
00:18:22,420 --> 00:18:24,500
Most people can't do a 60 to 70 overhand.

412
00:18:24,500 --> 00:18:25,500
Right.

413
00:18:25,500 --> 00:18:27,500
And for them to do it underhand is truly amazing.

414
00:18:27,500 --> 00:18:30,340
So let me ask you, so you go out bat, right?

415
00:18:30,340 --> 00:18:34,980
And it's your World Series and it's the bottom of the ninth and you're down by two and his

416
00:18:34,980 --> 00:18:42,860
base is loaded and it's a full count and Bushy Shorts comes up to bat and he's about to hit

417
00:18:42,860 --> 00:18:44,940
that home run grand slam.

418
00:18:44,940 --> 00:18:49,980
He's ready to knock it out of the park and he turns around and he sees there's no one

419
00:18:49,980 --> 00:18:51,860
watching, no one in the audience.

420
00:18:51,860 --> 00:18:52,860
No.

421
00:18:52,860 --> 00:18:54,020
And I sure was never going to see this game.

422
00:18:54,020 --> 00:18:55,020
I know.

423
00:18:55,020 --> 00:18:56,020
I forget to see it.

424
00:18:56,020 --> 00:18:57,020
Stopping telebots.

425
00:18:57,020 --> 00:18:58,020
The entire attitude changes.

426
00:18:58,020 --> 00:18:59,020
It does.

427
00:18:59,020 --> 00:19:00,020
It does.

428
00:19:00,020 --> 00:19:02,100
Your entire stamina, your entire energy.

429
00:19:02,100 --> 00:19:03,620
Because of what people are looking at you.

430
00:19:03,620 --> 00:19:04,620
Right.

431
00:19:04,620 --> 00:19:05,620
It's just amazing.

432
00:19:05,620 --> 00:19:10,140
You could take the concept, you know, I say a lot that the word attitude can be used

433
00:19:10,140 --> 00:19:11,940
in a negative fashion and a positive fashion.

434
00:19:11,940 --> 00:19:16,060
Take a word attitude, put the word bad in front of it and suddenly it's bad.

435
00:19:16,060 --> 00:19:18,980
Put the word good in front of it and suddenly the word attitude is good.

436
00:19:18,980 --> 00:19:20,740
To say that you can drive it either way.

437
00:19:20,740 --> 00:19:21,740
Exactly.

438
00:19:21,740 --> 00:19:25,220
I feel like the idea of what people think about us can also be looked at from two different

439
00:19:25,220 --> 00:19:26,220
ways.

440
00:19:26,220 --> 00:19:27,220
Sometimes it's a good thing.

441
00:19:27,220 --> 00:19:29,260
You want to care what your family thinks about you.

442
00:19:29,260 --> 00:19:31,860
You care tremendously what your kids think about you.

443
00:19:31,860 --> 00:19:32,860
You want them to think.

444
00:19:32,860 --> 00:19:33,860
Yes.

445
00:19:33,860 --> 00:19:34,860
Right?

446
00:19:34,860 --> 00:19:35,860
Yes.

447
00:19:35,860 --> 00:19:37,700
I think every parent wants their children to think that they're the greatest thing

448
00:19:37,700 --> 00:19:38,700
since life's great.

449
00:19:38,700 --> 00:19:39,820
I think every parent wants that.

450
00:19:39,820 --> 00:19:40,820
Right.

451
00:19:40,820 --> 00:19:42,420
They want to think that they're the greatest things one way or another.

452
00:19:42,420 --> 00:19:46,660
They won't do something or they will do something specifically so their kids should think of

453
00:19:46,660 --> 00:19:47,660
them in a certain life.

454
00:19:47,660 --> 00:19:48,660
Right.

455
00:19:48,660 --> 00:19:51,140
By the way, the worst part is when you're flying and someone brings their little child on the

456
00:19:51,140 --> 00:19:53,900
plane and they don't even hear their child screaming and crying.

457
00:19:53,900 --> 00:19:55,060
But everyone else does, right?

458
00:19:55,060 --> 00:19:56,060
It's numb to it.

459
00:19:56,060 --> 00:19:57,060
Right.

460
00:19:57,060 --> 00:19:58,060
Exactly.

461
00:19:58,060 --> 00:19:59,060
Yeah.

462
00:19:59,060 --> 00:20:00,060
My kid doesn't make noise.

463
00:20:00,060 --> 00:20:01,060
My kid is the best.

464
00:20:01,060 --> 00:20:02,060
We're all guilty of that.

465
00:20:02,060 --> 00:20:03,060
We're all children, you know, we're all born on planes.

466
00:20:03,060 --> 00:20:04,060
I totally relate to that.

467
00:20:04,060 --> 00:20:05,560
But you know, you're reminding me there's a old adage.

468
00:20:05,560 --> 00:20:08,860
It's not a real story, but just a little parable, I guess.

469
00:20:08,860 --> 00:20:09,860
I'm sorry.

470
00:20:09,860 --> 00:20:10,860
Yes.

471
00:20:10,860 --> 00:20:11,860
What does that mean?

472
00:20:11,860 --> 00:20:12,860
I got old saying.

473
00:20:12,860 --> 00:20:13,860
Oh, yeah.

474
00:20:13,860 --> 00:20:14,860
Okay.

475
00:20:14,860 --> 00:20:15,860
Yeah.

476
00:20:15,860 --> 00:20:16,860
You questioning yourself on that?

477
00:20:16,860 --> 00:20:17,860
No, no.

478
00:20:17,860 --> 00:20:18,860
No.

479
00:20:18,860 --> 00:20:19,860
Okay.

480
00:20:19,860 --> 00:20:20,860
Yeah.

481
00:20:20,860 --> 00:20:23,180
So there's an individual walking on 13th Avenue in Barabarca and he's noticing that

482
00:20:23,180 --> 00:20:28,620
somebody's doing construction on his house and he's replacing his brick with from red

483
00:20:28,620 --> 00:20:29,620
brick.

484
00:20:29,620 --> 00:20:35,540
He's making gray bricks and it's a middle of happening and somebody walks by and he

485
00:20:35,540 --> 00:20:38,460
screams out to the owner of the house.

486
00:20:38,460 --> 00:20:40,020
He says, whoa, wait a second.

487
00:20:40,020 --> 00:20:41,020
Wait a second.

488
00:20:41,020 --> 00:20:42,940
I see that you're replacing the red with the gray.

489
00:20:42,940 --> 00:20:43,940
I don't know.

490
00:20:43,940 --> 00:20:44,940
That's a good idea.

491
00:20:44,940 --> 00:20:45,940
I'm not into it.

492
00:20:45,940 --> 00:20:48,820
I think you should change your back.

493
00:20:48,820 --> 00:20:52,220
And this guy looks at him and he says, excuse me, who are you?

494
00:20:52,220 --> 00:20:53,220
What are you talking about?

495
00:20:53,220 --> 00:20:55,460
Like why are you giving me unsolicited advice over here?

496
00:20:55,460 --> 00:20:57,220
He says, I don't understand.

497
00:20:57,220 --> 00:21:01,620
You're not building this house and changing the brick for me, for other people to look

498
00:21:01,620 --> 00:21:02,620
at.

499
00:21:02,620 --> 00:21:04,340
Isn't that the purpose of what you're doing?

500
00:21:04,340 --> 00:21:05,780
Shouldn't I have a state?

501
00:21:05,780 --> 00:21:06,780
Shouldn't I have an input?

502
00:21:06,780 --> 00:21:08,100
Are you sure this happened on 13th Avenue?

503
00:21:08,100 --> 00:21:09,540
By the way, because they say it's 13th Avenue.

504
00:21:09,540 --> 00:21:10,540
It's 13th Avenue.

505
00:21:10,540 --> 00:21:11,540
It just has banks.

506
00:21:11,540 --> 00:21:12,540
That's all it is.

507
00:21:12,540 --> 00:21:13,540
Yes, yes, I guess.

508
00:21:13,540 --> 00:21:14,540
You're right.

509
00:21:14,540 --> 00:21:15,540
On the streets, all 13th Avenue.

510
00:21:15,540 --> 00:21:16,540
A lot of brick houses.

511
00:21:16,540 --> 00:21:17,540
Absolutely.

512
00:21:17,540 --> 00:21:18,540
All brick houses over there.

513
00:21:18,540 --> 00:21:19,540
Yeah.

514
00:21:19,540 --> 00:21:22,220
So the point is that it's so true.

515
00:21:22,220 --> 00:21:25,380
People dress in a certain way for other people to see.

516
00:21:25,380 --> 00:21:27,500
People behave in a certain way for other people to see.

517
00:21:27,500 --> 00:21:29,500
And again, we're all guilty of it.

518
00:21:29,500 --> 00:21:31,780
There is a barometer, though, from one to 100, right?

519
00:21:31,780 --> 00:21:32,900
There's a skill.

520
00:21:32,900 --> 00:21:38,740
The question is, how do we tone it down from 100 down to 90, then down to 80, and get to

521
00:21:38,740 --> 00:21:40,860
a certain point where it's very healthy?

522
00:21:40,860 --> 00:21:43,940
I wouldn't say take it down to zero because then it's anarchy.

523
00:21:43,940 --> 00:21:44,940
Then it's chaos.

524
00:21:44,940 --> 00:21:49,620
If you don't care at all what other people think, then you're going to be in a very dangerous

525
00:21:49,620 --> 00:21:50,620
place.

526
00:21:50,620 --> 00:21:52,060
Then you're going to realize, go rogue.

527
00:21:52,060 --> 00:21:53,340
So there has to be a medium.

528
00:21:53,340 --> 00:21:58,060
There has to be a balance of 50% caring about what other people think.

529
00:21:58,060 --> 00:21:59,060
Not too much.

530
00:21:59,060 --> 00:22:00,060
Not too much.

531
00:22:00,060 --> 00:22:01,060
I want to say, one more thing, Michael.

532
00:22:01,060 --> 00:22:06,340
One more thing, there actually is a group, a subset in Judaism.

533
00:22:06,340 --> 00:22:10,380
We know them as the Hasidus, it's called Ger.

534
00:22:10,380 --> 00:22:14,300
And they're rabbi with thousands and thousands of followers.

535
00:22:14,300 --> 00:22:19,100
A hundred thousand followers he has, of course, the globe, very, very popular.

536
00:22:19,100 --> 00:22:27,300
He actually at one point said that he allows his disciples, his followers, to talk about

537
00:22:27,300 --> 00:22:29,620
each other behind each other's backs.

538
00:22:29,620 --> 00:22:30,620
He allows it.

539
00:22:30,620 --> 00:22:31,620
He's not a terrible thing.

540
00:22:31,620 --> 00:22:36,060
You say, I don't think it's so terrible because that will keep people in line.

541
00:22:36,060 --> 00:22:41,980
If people know that I might get exposed, I might get caught, it's going to prevent them

542
00:22:41,980 --> 00:22:43,540
from doing those things.

543
00:22:43,540 --> 00:22:48,540
And so he looked at it as actually a good thing, which I don't know if I totally agree

544
00:22:48,540 --> 00:22:54,540
and I think it's a little outlandish, but I hear it, there's merit to what he say.

545
00:22:54,540 --> 00:22:55,540
And that's what I mean.

546
00:22:55,540 --> 00:22:59,540
Also, don't take it down to zero where you don't care at all what other people think,

547
00:22:59,540 --> 00:23:02,100
because then you're just going to totally go crazy.

548
00:23:02,100 --> 00:23:06,900
I want to compare that to something that just happened to me actually is that every month,

549
00:23:06,900 --> 00:23:14,580
lessing of the new month, I have a habit of calling my kids teachers and I speak to them

550
00:23:14,580 --> 00:23:15,580
once a month.

551
00:23:15,580 --> 00:23:16,580
Once a month.

552
00:23:16,580 --> 00:23:19,060
I don't go to PTA, by the way.

553
00:23:19,060 --> 00:23:20,060
Let that sink in.

554
00:23:20,060 --> 00:23:21,060
By design?

555
00:23:21,060 --> 00:23:22,060
By design.

556
00:23:22,060 --> 00:23:23,060
I never go to PTA.

557
00:23:23,060 --> 00:23:24,060
Why is that?

558
00:23:24,060 --> 00:23:25,580
Because I think it's a waste of time.

559
00:23:25,580 --> 00:23:31,620
To hear about how your children, on a platform where everybody's there and you get your own

560
00:23:31,620 --> 00:23:32,620
individual.

561
00:23:32,620 --> 00:23:33,620
Sure.

562
00:23:33,620 --> 00:23:35,820
I'd rather get my own individual time every month.

563
00:23:35,820 --> 00:23:36,820
I get my fives.

564
00:23:36,820 --> 00:23:37,820
I want a more frequent.

565
00:23:37,820 --> 00:23:40,780
Not only more frequent, I want a more intimate.

566
00:23:40,780 --> 00:23:43,300
I want to just sit down.

567
00:23:43,300 --> 00:23:44,300
They have a book.

568
00:23:44,300 --> 00:23:45,300
They go through it.

569
00:23:45,300 --> 00:23:48,860
Sometimes they don't even know the kid's name in the beginning, at least of PTA.

570
00:23:48,860 --> 00:23:50,300
So I'd rather actually make a call.

571
00:23:50,300 --> 00:23:54,980
Even if you do it twice a year, instead of going to PTA once, I would recommend just having

572
00:23:54,980 --> 00:23:56,660
a call twice.

573
00:23:56,660 --> 00:24:00,300
That's my opinion on the matter.

574
00:24:00,300 --> 00:24:01,500
That's a separate topic.

575
00:24:01,500 --> 00:24:04,620
But talking to one of the teachers.

576
00:24:04,620 --> 00:24:09,020
We're talking about the kid's misbehaving in general.

577
00:24:09,020 --> 00:24:11,860
I always talk about the fact that you are who your friends are.

578
00:24:11,860 --> 00:24:14,940
You want to hang around with people that are happy, people that are positive.

579
00:24:14,940 --> 00:24:17,820
It's a conversation that I like to always discuss.

580
00:24:17,820 --> 00:24:21,340
It resonates well with a lot of people.

581
00:24:21,340 --> 00:24:24,540
We're having challenges also with our kids.

582
00:24:24,540 --> 00:24:29,260
In general, in life, people have challenges with kids not understanding that concept of

583
00:24:29,260 --> 00:24:31,340
you are who your friends are.

584
00:24:31,340 --> 00:24:33,060
So when you get older, of course, you recognize it.

585
00:24:33,060 --> 00:24:35,020
When you're young, you just want to have a good time.

586
00:24:35,020 --> 00:24:36,700
So it's a big challenge.

587
00:24:36,700 --> 00:24:40,980
This teacher opened my eyes to something interesting that I never even thought about similar to

588
00:24:40,980 --> 00:24:42,700
the Garrabah.

589
00:24:42,700 --> 00:24:48,660
What this teacher told me was that kids these days actually hear more about what other people

590
00:24:48,660 --> 00:24:54,060
think about them than what they used to because of social media.

591
00:24:54,060 --> 00:24:58,300
The only positive thing that social media brought to light to kids these days is that

592
00:24:58,300 --> 00:24:59,900
they think twice before they misbehave.

593
00:24:59,900 --> 00:25:01,620
Oh my God, am I on camera?

594
00:25:01,620 --> 00:25:02,620
Am I going to be embarrassed?

595
00:25:02,620 --> 00:25:04,380
Is someone going to see me?

596
00:25:04,380 --> 00:25:06,060
Think about that.

597
00:25:06,060 --> 00:25:07,060
That's crazy.

598
00:25:07,060 --> 00:25:13,020
Today, you have cameras everywhere and you just never know when you're being recorded

599
00:25:13,020 --> 00:25:14,020
or not.

600
00:25:14,020 --> 00:25:15,020
So you have to be on guard.

601
00:25:15,020 --> 00:25:16,020
You have to be careful.

602
00:25:16,020 --> 00:25:18,660
Now, it could be used for a lot of good things.

603
00:25:18,660 --> 00:25:23,540
Social media has its benefits, but it certainly has its downfalls, its pitfalls.

604
00:25:23,540 --> 00:25:25,460
You're right.

605
00:25:25,460 --> 00:25:28,140
The kids now know everything is more public.

606
00:25:28,140 --> 00:25:30,460
So they don't have to worry anymore about what my neighbors are going to think.

607
00:25:30,460 --> 00:25:33,060
They've got to worry about what does this town going to think?

608
00:25:33,060 --> 00:25:34,060
For sure.

609
00:25:34,060 --> 00:25:38,940
You have a viral moment and something and it just, look at what's that.

610
00:25:38,940 --> 00:25:40,780
Look what happened to what's that.

611
00:25:40,780 --> 00:25:45,260
You put one post out or what's that and it starts just being distributed around before

612
00:25:45,260 --> 00:25:46,260
you know it.

613
00:25:46,260 --> 00:25:47,900
It gets in front of thousands and thousands of people.

614
00:25:47,900 --> 00:25:52,060
Thank God for the delete option, by the way, because two years ago when there wasn't a

615
00:25:52,060 --> 00:25:55,860
delete option, but it doesn't matter because if you don't delete it in time and already

616
00:25:55,860 --> 00:25:59,820
gotten the hands up, three people for sure, once it starts getting forwarded on and on

617
00:25:59,820 --> 00:26:00,820
and on, it's it.

618
00:26:00,820 --> 00:26:01,820
It's all over.

619
00:26:01,820 --> 00:26:02,820
You're done.

620
00:26:02,820 --> 00:26:04,320
And it's never going to be taken back.

621
00:26:04,320 --> 00:26:06,900
What a dangerous tool that is.

622
00:26:06,900 --> 00:26:09,060
That's just wild to think about.

623
00:26:09,060 --> 00:26:10,700
We didn't have this problem 20 years ago.

624
00:26:10,700 --> 00:26:12,900
10 years ago, we didn't have this problem.

625
00:26:12,900 --> 00:26:15,940
We have this problem that it's only going to be perpetuated.

626
00:26:15,940 --> 00:26:17,580
I think it's going to get even worse.

627
00:26:17,580 --> 00:26:24,500
It's going to get even more easy and it's already very easy now to get easier and it's

628
00:26:24,500 --> 00:26:26,140
going to be easier for our children.

629
00:26:26,140 --> 00:26:31,580
And it's going to affect how they grow up and it's going to create a lot of side effects.

630
00:26:31,580 --> 00:26:36,540
And we're talking about mental health, which I think is a very big topic these days because

631
00:26:36,540 --> 00:26:39,060
of all of this ancillary things that we have going here.

632
00:26:39,060 --> 00:26:41,660
Can we talk about the positive side for it for a second because we just started saying

633
00:26:41,660 --> 00:26:46,020
how you know social media and what other people think about you can be a positive thing also.

634
00:26:46,020 --> 00:26:50,660
And I like where this is going because it's in line with the theme of where this podcast

635
00:26:50,660 --> 00:26:56,260
is heading, which is the journey of both personal and professional and trying to be positive

636
00:26:56,260 --> 00:27:01,580
and happy throughout this entire journey and looking at both sides of the case and really

637
00:27:01,580 --> 00:27:05,820
making a case for one side while arguing the other, which is something we really do quite

638
00:27:05,820 --> 00:27:06,820
well.

639
00:27:06,820 --> 00:27:12,820
So far we haven't argued on much, but that's always exciting.

640
00:27:12,820 --> 00:27:17,460
In terms of what people think about you from social media, I just brought one way that

641
00:27:17,460 --> 00:27:18,660
it could be positive.

642
00:27:18,660 --> 00:27:21,660
What other ways social media, let's, before we get into the negative side of what people

643
00:27:21,660 --> 00:27:25,780
think about you, let's cross that bridge of what is the positive of what people think

644
00:27:25,780 --> 00:27:26,780
about you.

645
00:27:26,780 --> 00:27:27,780
How is that a good thing?

646
00:27:27,780 --> 00:27:28,780
Right?

647
00:27:28,780 --> 00:27:31,860
The guy who said you should talk about people behind their back.

648
00:27:31,860 --> 00:27:32,860
What did he mean?

649
00:27:32,860 --> 00:27:33,860
I don't think he, by the way, I want to correct that.

650
00:27:33,860 --> 00:27:36,260
Yeah, I don't think he said you should talk about people.

651
00:27:36,260 --> 00:27:37,260
Okay, I understand.

652
00:27:37,260 --> 00:27:44,460
But what he said was, don't be so quick to send out these messages and make these programs

653
00:27:44,460 --> 00:27:48,740
for people not to talk to Lush and Hara, read evil gossip, not to talk about that.

654
00:27:48,740 --> 00:27:51,980
Don't be so quick to, you know, it's not the worst thing in the world.

655
00:27:51,980 --> 00:27:52,980
What do you think he meant?

656
00:27:52,980 --> 00:27:53,980
That's what he said.

657
00:27:53,980 --> 00:27:54,980
I don't want to be a representative.

658
00:27:54,980 --> 00:27:55,980
It's okay.

659
00:27:55,980 --> 00:27:56,980
What do you think?

660
00:27:56,980 --> 00:27:57,980
Don'ting it.

661
00:27:57,980 --> 00:27:58,980
Everybody start gossiping about it.

662
00:27:58,980 --> 00:27:59,980
It's okay.

663
00:27:59,980 --> 00:28:00,980
It's okay.

664
00:28:00,980 --> 00:28:01,980
We're not up to 100,000 listeners yet.

665
00:28:01,980 --> 00:28:02,980
Okay.

666
00:28:02,980 --> 00:28:03,980
My question to you is, what do you think he meant?

667
00:28:03,980 --> 00:28:05,980
What didn't his message was?

668
00:28:05,980 --> 00:28:10,740
His message was very clear, is that people should have somewhat of a guardrail for themselves,

669
00:28:10,740 --> 00:28:12,420
knowing that they could get out.

670
00:28:12,420 --> 00:28:13,420
They could get out.

671
00:28:13,420 --> 00:28:14,420
Right.

672
00:28:14,420 --> 00:28:15,420
Always have that.

673
00:28:15,420 --> 00:28:16,420
And therefore, they're more careful.

674
00:28:16,420 --> 00:28:17,420
Right.

675
00:28:17,420 --> 00:28:18,420
Which is a positive thing.

676
00:28:18,420 --> 00:28:19,420
Which is a positive.

677
00:28:19,420 --> 00:28:20,420
Right.

678
00:28:20,420 --> 00:28:21,420
So what are the things social media brought out that's positive?

679
00:28:21,420 --> 00:28:25,940
If somebody has a good message to share, they can now share it with the masses.

680
00:28:25,940 --> 00:28:26,940
They get that message out.

681
00:28:26,940 --> 00:28:29,860
You have an inspirational speaker who says a beautiful story.

682
00:28:29,860 --> 00:28:33,460
Until now, the people that were in the room that heard the speech directly were able to

683
00:28:33,460 --> 00:28:34,960
enjoy the benefit of that.

684
00:28:34,960 --> 00:28:35,960
Yeah.

685
00:28:35,960 --> 00:28:38,300
And that's just the scope of what you had in the room.

686
00:28:38,300 --> 00:28:43,900
Now you can get that message out to so many people so quickly and you can inspire more

687
00:28:43,900 --> 00:28:45,060
people than you ever could have.

688
00:28:45,060 --> 00:28:50,820
You know, it's funny, years ago before social media went crazy, my brother went into politics,

689
00:28:50,820 --> 00:28:52,900
took one over 20 years ago.

690
00:28:52,900 --> 00:28:54,300
And I asked him, I said, why?

691
00:28:54,300 --> 00:28:56,580
What are you doing?

692
00:28:56,580 --> 00:28:57,580
Why would you go to politics?

693
00:28:57,580 --> 00:29:01,180
And he looked at me and he said a very, very profound statement.

694
00:29:01,180 --> 00:29:04,620
He said, you're impacting two people when you say something.

695
00:29:04,620 --> 00:29:07,460
I'm going to impact 200 people when I say something.

696
00:29:07,460 --> 00:29:08,740
That's why I want to go into politics.

697
00:29:08,740 --> 00:29:10,180
And it was an amazing thing to hear.

698
00:29:10,180 --> 00:29:13,220
I didn't quite understand it as much as I understand it now.

699
00:29:13,220 --> 00:29:14,740
Understanding how social media impacts others.

700
00:29:14,740 --> 00:29:15,740
And it's true.

701
00:29:15,740 --> 00:29:19,900
Anything that we talk about here on our podcast that can be a positive influence on others,

702
00:29:19,900 --> 00:29:23,200
we can reach thousands of people and we will reach thousands of people and it'll make an

703
00:29:23,200 --> 00:29:25,820
effect on people's life in a positive way.

704
00:29:25,820 --> 00:29:28,060
Is there anything else that's positive that came out of social media?

705
00:29:28,060 --> 00:29:30,060
I think a lot about education.

706
00:29:30,060 --> 00:29:33,380
I think now you get educated a lot more because of social media.

707
00:29:33,380 --> 00:29:38,100
You get to see just so many, you get to learn new things all the time.

708
00:29:38,100 --> 00:29:41,540
You don't have to spend all day reading to be more intellectual.

709
00:29:41,540 --> 00:29:44,700
Thank God for people that served the web.

710
00:29:44,700 --> 00:29:49,300
Even TikTok, by the way, which is a terrible platform and I think everybody agrees.

711
00:29:49,300 --> 00:29:53,100
At the end of the day, there is a benefit to it because you have these 15, 20 second

712
00:29:53,100 --> 00:29:56,860
clips and you're scrolling through it and some of this stuff at least is informative.

713
00:29:56,860 --> 00:29:58,820
And some of this stuff might be educational.

714
00:29:58,820 --> 00:30:00,460
So there's that.

715
00:30:00,460 --> 00:30:01,620
That's a positive side of it.

716
00:30:01,620 --> 00:30:04,340
I don't think it's worth all the negative it comes with.

717
00:30:04,340 --> 00:30:10,220
The question we need to ask is taking the good, taking the bad, what supersedes the other

718
00:30:10,220 --> 00:30:11,220
one?

719
00:30:11,220 --> 00:30:12,220
The good or the bad?

720
00:30:12,220 --> 00:30:13,220
Right.

721
00:30:13,220 --> 00:30:17,540
And I think that we can probably agree that because of the negativity that comes from

722
00:30:17,540 --> 00:30:19,740
it, it isn't worth the upside.

723
00:30:19,740 --> 00:30:23,820
There's too much risk, there's too much downside that it isn't worth for the upside.

724
00:30:23,820 --> 00:30:29,300
That's I think my point that I was making is that the positive that comes out of social

725
00:30:29,300 --> 00:30:32,420
media is there, but it's not as much as the negative.

726
00:30:32,420 --> 00:30:37,460
Similarly, when it comes to people talking about you or people making you knocking you

727
00:30:37,460 --> 00:30:40,380
down or thinking of what other people think about you.

728
00:30:40,380 --> 00:30:46,020
Yes, there could be some positive 10, 20%, but overall, it's much more negative.

729
00:30:46,020 --> 00:30:50,060
The impact is, is just it can be, it can be life.

730
00:30:50,060 --> 00:30:52,180
You know, can you imagine?

731
00:30:52,180 --> 00:30:54,980
Let me let me paint you a picture right now.

732
00:30:54,980 --> 00:30:57,180
And we all know somebody like this.

733
00:30:57,180 --> 00:30:59,620
This happens unfortunately all the time.

734
00:30:59,620 --> 00:31:01,620
It's very, very common.

735
00:31:01,620 --> 00:31:05,780
Somebody loses their job, but doesn't just lose a job.

736
00:31:05,780 --> 00:31:12,780
Let's talk about a person that has a job for 15, 20 years he has a job and people basically

737
00:31:12,780 --> 00:31:15,780
affiliate him with the job that he has.

738
00:31:15,780 --> 00:31:17,540
He works for a certain law firm.

739
00:31:17,540 --> 00:31:18,540
He's the attorney.

740
00:31:18,540 --> 00:31:19,540
He's the attorney.

741
00:31:19,540 --> 00:31:20,540
He's the accountant.

742
00:31:20,540 --> 00:31:21,540
He works for an accountant.

743
00:31:21,540 --> 00:31:22,540
Yeah.

744
00:31:22,540 --> 00:31:23,540
Whatever it might be that he's doing.

745
00:31:23,540 --> 00:31:24,540
He's the expense consultant.

746
00:31:24,540 --> 00:31:25,540
He's the expense consultant.

747
00:31:25,540 --> 00:31:26,540
Exactly.

748
00:31:26,540 --> 00:31:28,820
While people don't know him in that regard.

749
00:31:28,820 --> 00:31:30,020
That's his image.

750
00:31:30,020 --> 00:31:35,540
He has a label associated with him and then something happens to no fault of his and

751
00:31:35,540 --> 00:31:38,620
something something goes wrong and you no longer has a job.

752
00:31:38,620 --> 00:31:39,620
He quits.

753
00:31:39,620 --> 00:31:40,620
He gets fired.

754
00:31:40,620 --> 00:31:43,180
The company closes that whatever it might be.

755
00:31:43,180 --> 00:31:46,580
The first thing that comes to his head is not oh my God, want me to do, I'm gonna pay

756
00:31:46,580 --> 00:31:47,660
my bills.

757
00:31:47,660 --> 00:31:48,980
How am I gonna feed my family?

758
00:31:48,980 --> 00:31:50,460
How am I gonna keep my lifestyle going?

759
00:31:50,460 --> 00:31:52,700
It's not the first thing that comes to his mind.

760
00:31:52,700 --> 00:31:54,860
The first thing that comes to his mind is,

761
00:31:54,860 --> 00:31:57,420
what are other people gonna think?

762
00:31:57,420 --> 00:31:58,900
And who's that, how do I explain this to people?

763
00:31:58,900 --> 00:31:59,820
It's embarrassing.

764
00:31:59,820 --> 00:32:03,140
It's embarrassing, how do I tell this to people?

765
00:32:03,140 --> 00:32:04,220
That's the first thing that comes to mind.

766
00:32:04,220 --> 00:32:07,580
And that to me is a huge problem.

767
00:32:07,580 --> 00:32:09,420
It's scary, I feel bad.

768
00:32:09,420 --> 00:32:11,940
Well, how have we come as a society to this,

769
00:32:11,940 --> 00:32:15,980
that people have to be so fearful of very normal things?

770
00:32:15,980 --> 00:32:17,100
Does that make you a worse person,

771
00:32:17,100 --> 00:32:19,380
I'm a bad person because you lost your job?

772
00:32:19,380 --> 00:32:21,900
Are you suddenly not the same person you were yesterday

773
00:32:21,900 --> 00:32:23,500
because you lost the job?

774
00:32:23,500 --> 00:32:26,140
And people are going to unfortunately look

775
00:32:26,140 --> 00:32:27,860
for a moment even, doesn't matter,

776
00:32:27,860 --> 00:32:29,500
but they're gonna look down and he knows it,

777
00:32:29,500 --> 00:32:30,740
he's gonna feel it.

778
00:32:30,740 --> 00:32:33,300
That's what's scary, step it up a notch.

779
00:32:33,300 --> 00:32:36,940
Someone is a millionaire and he's a philanthropist

780
00:32:36,940 --> 00:32:40,100
and he's giving away things to the community

781
00:32:40,100 --> 00:32:40,940
and he's doing a lot.

782
00:32:40,940 --> 00:32:42,980
And unfortunately something happens

783
00:32:42,980 --> 00:32:44,740
and his life changes overnight.

784
00:32:44,740 --> 00:32:46,660
Think of how embarrassed he is

785
00:32:46,660 --> 00:32:50,620
and how difficult it is for him to make that life change.

786
00:32:50,620 --> 00:32:53,900
That happens also, he gets fired by God.

787
00:32:54,740 --> 00:32:57,020
God says no more, you're fired.

788
00:32:57,020 --> 00:32:59,860
You had it, you enjoyed it, you did good with it.

789
00:32:59,860 --> 00:33:01,900
I'm flipping the switch now.

790
00:33:01,900 --> 00:33:03,100
What happens then?

791
00:33:03,100 --> 00:33:05,540
I think that something that you said earlier resonated

792
00:33:05,540 --> 00:33:07,180
very well with me is that,

793
00:33:07,180 --> 00:33:09,180
let's move the needle a little bit.

794
00:33:09,180 --> 00:33:12,180
Let's figure out how to actually move that needle.

795
00:33:12,180 --> 00:33:13,780
Let's talk about it right now.

796
00:33:13,780 --> 00:33:15,700
Let's get into the conversation of saying,

797
00:33:15,700 --> 00:33:19,300
what happens when that guy who's very, very wealthy

798
00:33:19,300 --> 00:33:21,380
suddenly flips the switch, God flips the switch

799
00:33:21,380 --> 00:33:22,300
and it changes.

800
00:33:22,300 --> 00:33:24,540
What happens to that guy that you pray with

801
00:33:24,540 --> 00:33:26,540
in synagogue on the weekends in Shul?

802
00:33:26,540 --> 00:33:28,900
And you see him and he lost his job.

803
00:33:28,900 --> 00:33:33,580
How can you and I change that just a little bit?

804
00:33:33,580 --> 00:33:34,420
What can we do?

805
00:33:35,740 --> 00:33:39,060
So this is obviously going to be something

806
00:33:39,060 --> 00:33:42,380
that the professionals will need to comment on

807
00:33:42,380 --> 00:33:44,580
because I'm sure that there are tricks of the trade

808
00:33:44,580 --> 00:33:49,020
of how people can try to go about their lives

809
00:33:49,020 --> 00:33:51,220
without really worrying so much, right?

810
00:33:51,220 --> 00:33:54,380
It's still, it's been very hard to talk about,

811
00:33:54,380 --> 00:33:56,980
but I think one thing that's very, very basic

812
00:33:56,980 --> 00:33:59,980
is you need to be comfortable with yourself.

813
00:33:59,980 --> 00:34:02,660
Before you can start mastering what are other people

814
00:34:02,660 --> 00:34:04,140
gonna think or not think,

815
00:34:04,140 --> 00:34:06,180
that's obviously gonna be the biggest key.

816
00:34:06,180 --> 00:34:07,420
It's your own confidence.

817
00:34:07,420 --> 00:34:09,060
If you know, look, I lost my job,

818
00:34:09,060 --> 00:34:11,340
but I'm the same person I was 10 minutes ago

819
00:34:11,340 --> 00:34:12,780
and I'm a very capable person.

820
00:34:12,780 --> 00:34:15,700
I'm a very talented person and I'll land on my feet

821
00:34:15,700 --> 00:34:16,820
and I'll find something else.

822
00:34:16,820 --> 00:34:17,660
It's gonna be hard.

823
00:34:17,660 --> 00:34:18,500
It's gonna be difficult,

824
00:34:18,500 --> 00:34:19,540
but I'm gonna do it.

825
00:34:19,540 --> 00:34:20,380
I'm not giving up.

826
00:34:20,380 --> 00:34:22,220
If you're talking to yourself

827
00:34:22,220 --> 00:34:25,660
and you're giving yourself inspiration and motivation,

828
00:34:25,660 --> 00:34:27,300
you're gonna care a whole lot less

829
00:34:27,300 --> 00:34:29,340
about what the next person is gonna think

830
00:34:29,340 --> 00:34:30,940
and it's gonna make you a lot happier

831
00:34:30,940 --> 00:34:33,140
and it's gonna make you less miserable,

832
00:34:33,140 --> 00:34:34,380
but it's hard to do.

833
00:34:34,380 --> 00:34:35,220
It's a hard thing to do

834
00:34:35,220 --> 00:34:38,060
and maybe we don't talk to ourselves often enough.

835
00:34:38,060 --> 00:34:41,340
Maybe we're so fixated on other people

836
00:34:41,340 --> 00:34:45,220
that we are eliminating our closest people around us.

837
00:34:45,220 --> 00:34:46,060
What do they think?

838
00:34:46,060 --> 00:34:47,000
What are they gonna say?

839
00:34:47,000 --> 00:34:48,100
They're gonna support you.

840
00:34:48,100 --> 00:34:50,180
I imagine your close friends are gonna support you

841
00:34:50,180 --> 00:34:51,680
in that situation.

842
00:34:51,680 --> 00:34:53,700
Bring them into the fold.

843
00:34:53,700 --> 00:34:54,620
I think, you know,

844
00:34:54,620 --> 00:34:57,580
I actually wanna kinda change my answer a little bit.

845
00:34:57,580 --> 00:35:02,580
I wanna suggest a remedy for how you can really

846
00:35:03,620 --> 00:35:06,620
take less interest in what other people think about you.

847
00:35:06,620 --> 00:35:07,940
I'm all ears.

848
00:35:07,940 --> 00:35:10,780
This is, for me, I think this is how I cope with it.

849
00:35:11,980 --> 00:35:15,100
Try to have, I guess it's hard to try.

850
00:35:15,100 --> 00:35:17,380
It's either you have it or you don't.

851
00:35:17,380 --> 00:35:19,740
Close people around you that you confided.

852
00:35:20,780 --> 00:35:23,540
Have you or two or three very close friends,

853
00:35:23,540 --> 00:35:25,980
maybe a family member or two as well,

854
00:35:25,980 --> 00:35:27,900
that you're so comfortable around

855
00:35:27,900 --> 00:35:29,620
you can say anything to them.

856
00:35:29,620 --> 00:35:33,220
Because talking to someone does make you feel better

857
00:35:33,220 --> 00:35:35,940
and also hearing yourself talk a lot of times

858
00:35:35,940 --> 00:35:38,020
in itself is very therapeutic.

859
00:35:38,020 --> 00:35:41,940
So by you having the comfort and the confidence in yourself

860
00:35:41,940 --> 00:35:43,980
because there are people that are supporting you

861
00:35:43,980 --> 00:35:45,900
and it's the close people that always support you

862
00:35:45,900 --> 00:35:47,420
because they care about you.

863
00:35:47,420 --> 00:35:50,060
Those people genuinely want the best for you.

864
00:35:50,060 --> 00:35:52,620
Those are the people that you should not hold back on.

865
00:35:52,620 --> 00:35:55,140
Sometimes people keep it very close to their vests.

866
00:35:55,140 --> 00:35:56,460
They stay to themselves

867
00:35:56,460 --> 00:35:58,540
and they don't share anything with anybody.

868
00:35:58,540 --> 00:36:00,500
And I think those people are gonna suffer more

869
00:36:00,500 --> 00:36:02,940
of that anxiety of what other people think.

870
00:36:02,940 --> 00:36:04,260
I gotta lift my glass.

871
00:36:04,260 --> 00:36:07,020
I make a little hymn and a cheers to a teachable moment,

872
00:36:07,020 --> 00:36:07,860
a very teachable moment.

873
00:36:07,860 --> 00:36:09,020
That is a beautiful teachable moment.

874
00:36:09,020 --> 00:36:12,820
And what I take out of that is work on your friends.

875
00:36:12,820 --> 00:36:14,420
Work on your circle

876
00:36:14,420 --> 00:36:17,660
because there's no better therapy in the world

877
00:36:17,660 --> 00:36:20,740
than speaking your heart out to your friends.

878
00:36:20,740 --> 00:36:21,580
Yes.

879
00:36:21,580 --> 00:36:22,660
People tell me all the time like,

880
00:36:22,660 --> 00:36:24,300
oh, are you a believer in therapy?

881
00:36:24,300 --> 00:36:25,420
I'm a believer in therapy.

882
00:36:25,420 --> 00:36:27,260
I'm first a believer in friends

883
00:36:27,260 --> 00:36:29,780
because your best therapist are your friends,

884
00:36:29,780 --> 00:36:31,020
are your close circle.

885
00:36:31,020 --> 00:36:33,980
And the tip and the takeaway to move that needle

886
00:36:33,980 --> 00:36:35,060
and what you're saying,

887
00:36:35,060 --> 00:36:38,580
what I'm taking away out of this is build your close circle

888
00:36:38,580 --> 00:36:39,420
around you.

889
00:36:39,420 --> 00:36:43,420
So important so that when the disaster potentially comes,

890
00:36:43,420 --> 00:36:45,980
the roller coaster of the ride starts heading down,

891
00:36:45,980 --> 00:36:48,540
you can rely and lean on the people around you.

892
00:36:48,540 --> 00:36:50,900
But don't take it for granted.

893
00:36:50,900 --> 00:36:52,860
Don't think I'm a millionaire.

894
00:36:52,860 --> 00:36:53,700
I don't need friends.

895
00:36:53,700 --> 00:36:55,460
Nobody wants me for who I am.

896
00:36:55,460 --> 00:36:57,100
Oh, everybody just wants my money.

897
00:36:57,100 --> 00:36:57,940
No, no, no, no, no, no.

898
00:36:57,940 --> 00:36:59,060
Build your close circle.

899
00:36:59,060 --> 00:36:59,900
You need that.

900
00:36:59,900 --> 00:37:00,980
You have to have it.

901
00:37:00,980 --> 00:37:01,820
You must have it.

902
00:37:01,820 --> 00:37:04,420
If there's anything I can say to people

903
00:37:04,420 --> 00:37:07,020
that they can take away from this, is this.

904
00:37:08,500 --> 00:37:11,820
If you don't have one person in your life

905
00:37:11,820 --> 00:37:14,540
that you're speaking to every single day,

906
00:37:15,380 --> 00:37:19,740
multiple times a week, a lot, very frequently,

907
00:37:19,740 --> 00:37:21,340
and you're not comfortable enough

908
00:37:21,340 --> 00:37:23,300
that you could tell them anything,

909
00:37:23,300 --> 00:37:25,700
your deepest, darkest secret,

910
00:37:26,620 --> 00:37:28,900
you are doing yourself a huge dessert.

911
00:37:28,900 --> 00:37:29,820
Whoa, slow down.

912
00:37:29,820 --> 00:37:31,900
I think your life is going to be,

913
00:37:31,900 --> 00:37:33,260
I'm sorry, I really believe this.

914
00:37:33,260 --> 00:37:37,060
Your life is not going to be the same as it could be.

915
00:37:37,060 --> 00:37:40,260
You're holding back if you don't have that person.

916
00:37:40,260 --> 00:37:41,380
Can I just ask you a question?

917
00:37:41,380 --> 00:37:42,780
Sure.

918
00:37:42,780 --> 00:37:43,980
Are you referring to anyone,

919
00:37:43,980 --> 00:37:45,540
or are you referring specifically to a friend,

920
00:37:45,540 --> 00:37:48,660
or a spouse, or a girlfriend, boyfriend?

921
00:37:48,660 --> 00:37:50,420
I think that's a little too close to home.

922
00:37:50,420 --> 00:37:51,260
That's why I'm asking you.

923
00:37:51,260 --> 00:37:54,500
You want to have one person that has no dog in the fight.

924
00:37:54,500 --> 00:37:55,620
They're not in your life.

925
00:37:55,620 --> 00:37:56,460
They don't live with you.

926
00:37:56,460 --> 00:37:57,860
They don't share kids with you.

927
00:37:57,860 --> 00:37:58,900
That's too close.

928
00:37:58,900 --> 00:38:00,300
Now, sure.

929
00:38:00,300 --> 00:38:03,060
Typically, you want to tell your wife the first.

930
00:38:03,060 --> 00:38:04,220
You want to tell you significantly

931
00:38:04,220 --> 00:38:05,660
the other the first when something exciting happens.

932
00:38:05,660 --> 00:38:06,820
You want to share that with them,

933
00:38:06,820 --> 00:38:08,180
because no one's going to be happier for you

934
00:38:08,180 --> 00:38:09,100
than they will be.

935
00:38:09,100 --> 00:38:10,060
Of course.

936
00:38:10,060 --> 00:38:13,580
But I'm talking about having the ability to let loose

937
00:38:13,580 --> 00:38:16,220
and to just be completely yourself,

938
00:38:16,220 --> 00:38:18,900
to have that person where it's a safe zone.

939
00:38:20,380 --> 00:38:21,460
It's priceless.

940
00:38:21,460 --> 00:38:23,820
I'd love to argue with you, but I can't.

941
00:38:23,820 --> 00:38:26,140
So far, everything you're saying I'm agreeing with,

942
00:38:26,140 --> 00:38:28,060
and I'm going to double down on it for a second.

943
00:38:28,060 --> 00:38:31,660
I'm going to say that the concept of, of course,

944
00:38:31,660 --> 00:38:33,740
you're living with someone, your significant other,

945
00:38:33,740 --> 00:38:37,420
that you, oh, I share everything with my spouse.

946
00:38:37,420 --> 00:38:38,260
Right.

947
00:38:38,260 --> 00:38:39,100
You hear that a lot.

948
00:38:39,100 --> 00:38:40,540
Then maybe you need therapy.

949
00:38:40,540 --> 00:38:42,820
I mean, that's, you know, that's a challenge.

950
00:38:42,820 --> 00:38:44,940
I mean, I'm agreeing with what you're saying.

951
00:38:44,940 --> 00:38:46,380
I roll my eyes when I hear that.

952
00:38:46,380 --> 00:38:47,220
Yeah.

953
00:38:47,220 --> 00:38:48,060
It's a nice thing to say.

954
00:38:48,060 --> 00:38:48,900
Sure.

955
00:38:48,900 --> 00:38:49,740
But I don't know if it's so.

956
00:38:49,740 --> 00:38:53,460
And taking the teachable moment even a little further,

957
00:38:53,460 --> 00:38:56,980
I would say is that I know a lot of people

958
00:38:56,980 --> 00:38:59,260
that don't have a lot of friends.

959
00:38:59,260 --> 00:39:00,420
And I'm actually, you know,

960
00:39:00,420 --> 00:39:01,540
I'm a little sad for them right now.

961
00:39:01,540 --> 00:39:02,380
I feel bad for them.

962
00:39:02,380 --> 00:39:03,220
Yeah.

963
00:39:03,220 --> 00:39:05,340
I feel bad for those people.

964
00:39:05,340 --> 00:39:08,900
And I want to tell you something, you know, in sales,

965
00:39:08,900 --> 00:39:10,180
and you know, I teach people all the time

966
00:39:10,180 --> 00:39:12,380
in cold calling and the approach,

967
00:39:12,380 --> 00:39:17,380
make yourself vulnerable, call a new potential customer

968
00:39:17,420 --> 00:39:18,620
in the area and say, you know what,

969
00:39:18,620 --> 00:39:20,220
I'm new to this neighborhood.

970
00:39:20,220 --> 00:39:21,900
I just started last week.

971
00:39:21,900 --> 00:39:23,100
I need your help.

972
00:39:23,100 --> 00:39:25,380
Can you please, it's okay to say

973
00:39:25,380 --> 00:39:27,860
that people will actually respect it.

974
00:39:27,860 --> 00:39:29,540
People will resonate with it.

975
00:39:29,540 --> 00:39:31,180
When you say, I just need a little bit of help.

976
00:39:31,180 --> 00:39:32,180
This is my first job.

977
00:39:32,180 --> 00:39:33,420
I'm here for a week.

978
00:39:33,420 --> 00:39:34,700
Can you give me a minute?

979
00:39:34,700 --> 00:39:36,860
So I say, you know what, let me help this fellow out.

980
00:39:36,860 --> 00:39:38,340
Let's take that to the next level.

981
00:39:38,340 --> 00:39:39,180
Here we go.

982
00:39:39,180 --> 00:39:40,000
You ready?

983
00:39:40,000 --> 00:39:40,840
Yeah.

984
00:39:40,840 --> 00:39:41,900
You know, you have a group of people

985
00:39:41,900 --> 00:39:43,380
that are accessible to you,

986
00:39:43,380 --> 00:39:45,940
whether it's your church, whether it's your school,

987
00:39:45,940 --> 00:39:49,980
whether it's your job, there are people in your circle.

988
00:39:49,980 --> 00:39:53,420
If you look around, and I'm talking now to that person

989
00:39:53,420 --> 00:39:55,140
who doesn't have a lot of friends,

990
00:39:55,140 --> 00:39:57,820
and I'm telling them, open your eyes,

991
00:39:57,820 --> 00:39:59,780
look around on the weekends,

992
00:39:59,780 --> 00:40:02,940
look around during the week, look around at nights.

993
00:40:02,940 --> 00:40:05,860
When you go pray, when you're at work,

994
00:40:05,860 --> 00:40:07,100
look around to your circle,

995
00:40:07,100 --> 00:40:11,580
and ask yourself, what's gonna happen if I be vulnerable?

996
00:40:11,580 --> 00:40:14,420
And I go to the person that's the closest to me.

997
00:40:14,420 --> 00:40:16,060
Maybe you're not, you don't feel close to them

998
00:40:16,060 --> 00:40:17,660
because you don't have a lot of friends.

999
00:40:17,660 --> 00:40:19,340
But you go to the person that's closest to you

1000
00:40:19,340 --> 00:40:22,420
and you say to them, can I have two minutes of your time?

1001
00:40:23,260 --> 00:40:24,700
Magic.

1002
00:40:24,700 --> 00:40:26,060
Magic.

1003
00:40:26,060 --> 00:40:27,800
Anybody that goes to anyone.

1004
00:40:27,800 --> 00:40:29,260
If somebody comes over to you randomly,

1005
00:40:29,260 --> 00:40:31,700
or she insists to you, can I get two minutes of your time?

1006
00:40:31,700 --> 00:40:32,820
And you hardly know them.

1007
00:40:32,820 --> 00:40:34,500
What are you gonna say to them?

1008
00:40:34,500 --> 00:40:35,580
You wouldn't give them two minutes?

1009
00:40:35,580 --> 00:40:36,420
That's not a word.

1010
00:40:36,420 --> 00:40:37,260
You're gonna give them two minutes?

1011
00:40:37,260 --> 00:40:38,080
No, that's my point.

1012
00:40:38,080 --> 00:40:39,500
Yeah, you're giving them two minutes, right?

1013
00:40:39,500 --> 00:40:40,340
Exactly.

1014
00:40:40,340 --> 00:40:42,540
So what I'm saying is that guys like me and you

1015
00:40:42,540 --> 00:40:45,100
were very confident, right?

1016
00:40:45,100 --> 00:40:47,180
We have a lot of friends.

1017
00:40:47,180 --> 00:40:50,500
I want the world to know, come speak to me.

1018
00:40:51,420 --> 00:40:53,220
Come ask me for two minutes of my time.

1019
00:40:53,220 --> 00:40:54,580
I will gladly give it to you.

1020
00:40:54,580 --> 00:40:56,020
Yeah, well, Michael, people are not gonna want

1021
00:40:56,020 --> 00:40:57,260
to just approach you and talk to you

1022
00:40:57,260 --> 00:41:00,020
about things that are personal to them

1023
00:41:00,020 --> 00:41:01,260
because they don't know you as well.

1024
00:41:01,260 --> 00:41:02,900
They're not supposed to come to you or to me.

1025
00:41:02,900 --> 00:41:05,300
No, no, no, no, that's actually what I'm saying.

1026
00:41:05,300 --> 00:41:06,700
I'm saying come to me.

1027
00:41:06,700 --> 00:41:09,500
I'm saying you're a person that doesn't have friends.

1028
00:41:09,500 --> 00:41:10,860
You don't have a circle.

1029
00:41:10,860 --> 00:41:13,460
Everybody has somebody that they know

1030
00:41:13,460 --> 00:41:14,500
that they're friendly with.

1031
00:41:14,500 --> 00:41:16,380
Maybe they're not close enough that they can't

1032
00:41:16,380 --> 00:41:18,100
share things with that person yet.

1033
00:41:18,100 --> 00:41:19,460
The answer is get close.

1034
00:41:19,460 --> 00:41:21,140
You know, I'm glad we got to the point.

1035
00:41:21,140 --> 00:41:21,980
Get close.

1036
00:41:21,980 --> 00:41:23,540
I'm glad we got to the point of disagreement.

1037
00:41:23,540 --> 00:41:24,540
I don't agree with you at all.

1038
00:41:24,540 --> 00:41:26,780
You know how many people don't have friends?

1039
00:41:26,780 --> 00:41:28,700
No such thing, Michael.

1040
00:41:28,700 --> 00:41:29,540
No such thing.

1041
00:41:29,540 --> 00:41:31,660
Everybody knows somebody who, again,

1042
00:41:31,660 --> 00:41:33,420
they may not have good friends,

1043
00:41:33,420 --> 00:41:36,540
but everybody, people, unless they're living under a rock

1044
00:41:36,540 --> 00:41:38,020
and they're living in the stone ages

1045
00:41:38,020 --> 00:41:40,100
and they're a hermit and they never leave their house,

1046
00:41:40,100 --> 00:41:40,940
of course not.

1047
00:41:40,940 --> 00:41:42,140
But if you have a job,

1048
00:41:42,140 --> 00:41:44,620
if you're a functioning societal person,

1049
00:41:44,620 --> 00:41:46,060
then you know people.

1050
00:41:46,060 --> 00:41:47,740
And if you know people, it's up to you.

1051
00:41:47,740 --> 00:41:49,140
It's very easily attained.

1052
00:41:49,140 --> 00:41:50,380
You can make friends.

1053
00:41:50,380 --> 00:41:52,020
I don't agree.

1054
00:41:52,020 --> 00:41:54,540
I'm saying is that of course you could make friends

1055
00:41:54,540 --> 00:41:56,300
if you're vulnerable and you take the steps

1056
00:41:56,300 --> 00:41:57,700
that we're talking about here.

1057
00:41:57,700 --> 00:42:00,380
And of course you have a circle of potential friends,

1058
00:42:00,380 --> 00:42:02,780
but there are many people in this world

1059
00:42:02,780 --> 00:42:05,220
that do not have close friends.

1060
00:42:05,220 --> 00:42:06,380
By choice.

1061
00:42:06,380 --> 00:42:07,220
By choice.

1062
00:42:07,220 --> 00:42:08,340
Because they're anxious.

1063
00:42:08,340 --> 00:42:10,140
Yeah, because they're introverts.

1064
00:42:10,140 --> 00:42:10,980
Introverts.

1065
00:42:10,980 --> 00:42:12,620
Because they have low confidence.

1066
00:42:12,620 --> 00:42:13,660
That's why.

1067
00:42:13,660 --> 00:42:15,380
And therefore, should I put them to the wayside?

1068
00:42:15,380 --> 00:42:16,500
No, not put them to the wayside.

1069
00:42:16,500 --> 00:42:18,500
I'm saying those people is who I was talking to.

1070
00:42:18,500 --> 00:42:19,820
But they exist.

1071
00:42:19,820 --> 00:42:21,180
There's far more than many of them.

1072
00:42:21,180 --> 00:42:23,620
But they know people that they could make better friends.

1073
00:42:23,620 --> 00:42:24,500
But they don't.

1074
00:42:24,500 --> 00:42:25,700
Right now they aren't.

1075
00:42:25,700 --> 00:42:26,540
Right.

1076
00:42:26,540 --> 00:42:27,420
That's what I'm saying is.

1077
00:42:27,420 --> 00:42:31,580
Yeah, these answer for someone to be happier

1078
00:42:31,580 --> 00:42:33,820
and to care less about what other people think of them.

1079
00:42:33,820 --> 00:42:34,660
Of course.

1080
00:42:34,660 --> 00:42:36,900
Is to have a confidant.

1081
00:42:36,900 --> 00:42:39,340
Is to have somebody that they could talk to

1082
00:42:39,340 --> 00:42:42,420
and let that person be the one that you care about.

1083
00:42:42,420 --> 00:42:44,060
And talk to that person.

1084
00:42:44,060 --> 00:42:45,180
But have the ability to find that.

1085
00:42:45,180 --> 00:42:46,500
They have the ability to.

1086
00:42:46,500 --> 00:42:47,660
But that's what I was saying a minute ago.

1087
00:42:47,660 --> 00:42:48,660
And you're changing it a little bit.

1088
00:42:48,660 --> 00:42:49,940
What I'm saying now is that,

1089
00:42:49,940 --> 00:42:51,500
we're on the same page, I think,

1090
00:42:51,500 --> 00:42:53,460
that not everybody has it now.

1091
00:42:53,460 --> 00:42:54,300
I'm telling you.

1092
00:42:54,300 --> 00:42:55,620
Yeah, not everybody has it now.

1093
00:42:55,620 --> 00:42:56,460
Right.

1094
00:42:56,460 --> 00:42:57,300
That's what we're saying.

1095
00:42:57,300 --> 00:42:58,140
They should get it.

1096
00:42:58,140 --> 00:42:58,980
Oh, okay.

1097
00:42:58,980 --> 00:43:00,660
So they should work immediately

1098
00:43:00,660 --> 00:43:02,820
and start putting the stepping stones in place

1099
00:43:02,820 --> 00:43:03,660
to be vulnerable.

1100
00:43:03,660 --> 00:43:05,300
They get closer to any individual

1101
00:43:05,300 --> 00:43:06,140
wherever that may be.

1102
00:43:06,140 --> 00:43:06,980
That's in their circle.

1103
00:43:06,980 --> 00:43:08,300
To the point that they could be vulnerable.

1104
00:43:08,300 --> 00:43:09,140
There you go.

1105
00:43:09,140 --> 00:43:09,980
Yes.

1106
00:43:09,980 --> 00:43:10,820
Yes.

1107
00:43:10,820 --> 00:43:11,660
That's it.

1108
00:43:11,660 --> 00:43:12,740
That's the kumbaya moment.

1109
00:43:12,740 --> 00:43:13,580
It is.

1110
00:43:13,580 --> 00:43:14,420
Yeah.

1111
00:43:14,420 --> 00:43:15,260
It's a special one too.

1112
00:43:15,260 --> 00:43:16,100
Yeah.

1113
00:43:16,100 --> 00:43:18,100
And I think that that makes it so much easier

1114
00:43:18,100 --> 00:43:20,460
to navigate your life.

1115
00:43:20,460 --> 00:43:23,060
Is to have that circle of trust of people.

1116
00:43:23,940 --> 00:43:26,220
You know, you remember the movie with, you know,

1117
00:43:26,220 --> 00:43:28,940
Robert De Niro and Ben Stiller's circle of trust?

1118
00:43:28,940 --> 00:43:29,780
No.

1119
00:43:29,780 --> 00:43:31,500
It's a movie called Circle of Trust?

1120
00:43:31,500 --> 00:43:32,340
No, no.

1121
00:43:32,340 --> 00:43:33,180
Oh.

1122
00:43:33,180 --> 00:43:35,340
It's Meet the Falkers.

1123
00:43:35,340 --> 00:43:36,180
Oh, yeah.

1124
00:43:36,180 --> 00:43:37,300
Of course I remember that one.

1125
00:43:37,300 --> 00:43:38,140
Yeah.

1126
00:43:38,140 --> 00:43:38,980
Right?

1127
00:43:38,980 --> 00:43:40,020
So Robert De Niro, as he creates.

1128
00:43:40,020 --> 00:43:40,860
Yes.

1129
00:43:40,860 --> 00:43:41,700
Yes.

1130
00:43:41,700 --> 00:43:42,540
Yes.

1131
00:43:42,540 --> 00:43:43,380
It says Ben.

1132
00:43:43,380 --> 00:43:44,220
What's Ben's name in the movie?

1133
00:43:44,220 --> 00:43:45,060
I don't remember.

1134
00:43:45,060 --> 00:43:45,900
What's his name?

1135
00:43:45,900 --> 00:43:46,740
I remember his name.

1136
00:43:46,740 --> 00:43:47,580
He says.

1137
00:43:47,580 --> 00:43:48,420
I don't remember his name.

1138
00:43:48,420 --> 00:43:49,380
I know the movie actually was Meet the Parents.

1139
00:43:49,380 --> 00:43:50,700
Not Meet the Foundry.

1140
00:43:50,700 --> 00:43:52,460
Meet the Parents was the first movie.

1141
00:43:52,460 --> 00:43:54,100
No, Meet the Parents was the second movie.

1142
00:43:54,100 --> 00:43:55,940
And then Meet the Falkers was the second one.

1143
00:43:55,940 --> 00:43:57,140
It was the second one.

1144
00:43:57,140 --> 00:43:58,420
Oh, it happened in the first one?

1145
00:43:58,420 --> 00:43:59,260
Okay.

1146
00:43:59,260 --> 00:44:00,100
What a movie buff.

1147
00:44:00,100 --> 00:44:00,940
Yes, wow.

1148
00:44:00,940 --> 00:44:03,140
That's a very big detail to know

1149
00:44:03,140 --> 00:44:04,460
between the first and the second movie.

1150
00:44:04,460 --> 00:44:05,540
Like that's fine tune.

1151
00:44:05,540 --> 00:44:06,620
There are people that I know that can do that.

1152
00:44:06,620 --> 00:44:09,460
There are people that I know that can do that to any movie.

1153
00:44:09,460 --> 00:44:10,300
That's crazy.

1154
00:44:10,300 --> 00:44:11,140
It's unbelievable.

1155
00:44:11,140 --> 00:44:12,220
Yeah, that's pretty impressive.

1156
00:44:12,220 --> 00:44:14,060
Anyway, you have that circle of trust.

1157
00:44:14,060 --> 00:44:16,300
Either you're in or you're out.

1158
00:44:16,300 --> 00:44:18,580
You have to have a circle of trust

1159
00:44:18,580 --> 00:44:20,820
with someone in your life.

1160
00:44:20,820 --> 00:44:22,460
And everything will be better.

1161
00:44:22,460 --> 00:44:23,740
Everything.

1162
00:44:23,740 --> 00:44:24,860
It's not just what other people

1163
00:44:24,860 --> 00:44:26,420
that I think it means that that's gonna be better.

1164
00:44:26,420 --> 00:44:29,500
Everything in your life will be better.

1165
00:44:29,500 --> 00:44:31,300
I have to tell you that I,

1166
00:44:31,300 --> 00:44:32,700
while you were speaking,

1167
00:44:32,700 --> 00:44:37,700
I put myself in the shoes mentally, emotionally,

1168
00:44:37,980 --> 00:44:39,620
of someone who doesn't have friends.

1169
00:44:39,620 --> 00:44:41,380
I tried right now while you were talking

1170
00:44:41,380 --> 00:44:42,900
and you were having this back and forth with Stefan.

1171
00:44:42,900 --> 00:44:46,020
I was thinking like, why would I have that challenge?

1172
00:44:46,020 --> 00:44:47,300
What's holding me back?

1173
00:44:47,300 --> 00:44:51,580
And we spoke earlier about the idea of being bullied.

1174
00:44:51,580 --> 00:44:53,540
I have to tell you that,

1175
00:44:53,540 --> 00:44:56,580
besides the fact that today it exists,

1176
00:44:56,580 --> 00:44:58,380
adults bully each other.

1177
00:44:58,380 --> 00:44:59,220
It happens.

1178
00:44:59,220 --> 00:45:00,700
It really, really happens.

1179
00:45:00,700 --> 00:45:02,100
I'm thinking back to when I was a kid.

1180
00:45:02,100 --> 00:45:03,900
I was bullied.

1181
00:45:03,900 --> 00:45:05,380
To a certain extent, I was bullied.

1182
00:45:05,380 --> 00:45:08,380
It happened and I'm not gonna get too into it right now,

1183
00:45:08,380 --> 00:45:12,780
but I'm thinking that I'm also bullied as an adult.

1184
00:45:12,780 --> 00:45:14,820
If I'm around a group of people,

1185
00:45:14,820 --> 00:45:17,660
almost every single time I'm around a group of people,

1186
00:45:17,660 --> 00:45:21,780
I find somebody loves putting the other person down

1187
00:45:21,780 --> 00:45:24,860
to lift themselves up and it drives me mad.

1188
00:45:24,860 --> 00:45:26,220
What are you doing that scenario?

1189
00:45:26,220 --> 00:45:27,060
It's the worst.

1190
00:45:27,060 --> 00:45:28,580
First of all, you stay away from that person.

1191
00:45:28,580 --> 00:45:29,420
Of course.

1192
00:45:29,420 --> 00:45:30,260
You cut him off.

1193
00:45:30,260 --> 00:45:32,380
But he's there, he's at the party.

1194
00:45:32,380 --> 00:45:33,700
You have to put him behind you.

1195
00:45:33,700 --> 00:45:34,540
You have to just swap.

1196
00:45:34,540 --> 00:45:35,380
What do you do when he does it?

1197
00:45:35,380 --> 00:45:36,220
I'm in the kitchen.

1198
00:45:36,220 --> 00:45:37,060
You're just not around that person.

1199
00:45:37,060 --> 00:45:39,180
What do you do when he does it?

1200
00:45:39,180 --> 00:45:40,740
What do you do to fight back?

1201
00:45:40,740 --> 00:45:41,580
Exactly.

1202
00:45:41,580 --> 00:45:43,900
I make a snide remark back to them and put him down.

1203
00:45:43,900 --> 00:45:44,740
Right.

1204
00:45:44,740 --> 00:45:45,700
Give him a little taste of his own medicine.

1205
00:45:45,700 --> 00:45:46,540
Right.

1206
00:45:46,540 --> 00:45:47,540
So I tend to do that sometimes.

1207
00:45:47,540 --> 00:45:48,540
Of course.

1208
00:45:48,540 --> 00:45:49,580
I tend to do that.

1209
00:45:49,580 --> 00:45:50,860
That's my personality.

1210
00:45:50,860 --> 00:45:52,660
Like if somebody comes and attacks me,

1211
00:45:52,660 --> 00:45:53,540
you attack right back.

1212
00:45:53,540 --> 00:45:54,380
Right back.

1213
00:45:54,380 --> 00:45:55,500
I attack back.

1214
00:45:55,500 --> 00:45:56,500
And a lot of people do that.

1215
00:45:56,500 --> 00:45:58,260
And a lot of people just, they take the bite

1216
00:45:58,260 --> 00:45:59,220
and they move on.

1217
00:45:59,220 --> 00:46:00,860
I do their approach of ignoring.

1218
00:46:00,860 --> 00:46:01,700
I completely.

1219
00:46:01,700 --> 00:46:02,540
You're very good at that.

1220
00:46:02,540 --> 00:46:03,740
You're not a confrontational person.

1221
00:46:03,740 --> 00:46:04,580
Right.

1222
00:46:04,580 --> 00:46:07,580
You're not somebody that you get into an argument with

1223
00:46:07,580 --> 00:46:10,380
and you're gonna see in the street having a loud fight

1224
00:46:10,380 --> 00:46:11,220
with someone.

1225
00:46:11,220 --> 00:46:12,060
You're not that type of person.

1226
00:46:12,060 --> 00:46:13,620
I love the art of an argument.

1227
00:46:13,620 --> 00:46:14,460
Yes.

1228
00:46:14,460 --> 00:46:15,300
But argument, not a fight.

1229
00:46:15,300 --> 00:46:16,140
Right.

1230
00:46:16,140 --> 00:46:16,980
Not exactly.

1231
00:46:16,980 --> 00:46:17,820
Not getting into a fight.

1232
00:46:17,820 --> 00:46:19,020
A respectful argument is fine.

1233
00:46:19,020 --> 00:46:22,500
I'm talking more about in a public forum,

1234
00:46:22,500 --> 00:46:24,260
you have 50 people around.

1235
00:46:24,260 --> 00:46:26,060
And a couple of people say something that you don't like

1236
00:46:26,060 --> 00:46:27,020
and offended you.

1237
00:46:27,020 --> 00:46:29,460
And it, you know, irks you a little bit.

1238
00:46:29,460 --> 00:46:32,020
I'm gonna push back in front of everybody.

1239
00:46:32,020 --> 00:46:35,620
I'm not gonna be conscious of the fact that

1240
00:46:35,620 --> 00:46:37,300
well, this is a lot of eyeballs here.

1241
00:46:37,300 --> 00:46:38,540
I'm gonna do my thing.

1242
00:46:38,540 --> 00:46:40,140
It's just a natural reflex that I have.

1243
00:46:40,140 --> 00:46:40,980
And it's a problem.

1244
00:46:40,980 --> 00:46:43,420
I'm not saying it's a good characteristic.

1245
00:46:43,420 --> 00:46:46,180
But that is, you know, when I get bullied,

1246
00:46:46,180 --> 00:46:47,060
I bully right back.

1247
00:46:47,060 --> 00:46:48,820
Where'd you grow up?

1248
00:46:48,820 --> 00:46:51,500
Where as a kid, I grew up in Muncie.

1249
00:46:51,500 --> 00:46:52,340
In Muncie.

1250
00:46:52,340 --> 00:46:53,160
Yeah.

1251
00:46:53,160 --> 00:46:54,220
Beautiful landscape.

1252
00:46:54,220 --> 00:46:55,060
Yes. Right.

1253
00:46:55,060 --> 00:46:55,900
Lots of trees.

1254
00:46:55,900 --> 00:46:56,740
Right.

1255
00:46:56,740 --> 00:46:57,900
Everybody has a car that they're transporting

1256
00:46:57,900 --> 00:46:59,140
from one place to another.

1257
00:46:59,140 --> 00:46:59,980
Sure. Right.

1258
00:46:59,980 --> 00:47:02,100
Or, you know, you never really went on a city bus.

1259
00:47:02,100 --> 00:47:03,060
You don't even know what that is.

1260
00:47:03,060 --> 00:47:03,900
Not so much later.

1261
00:47:03,900 --> 00:47:04,740
Right.

1262
00:47:04,740 --> 00:47:05,580
A train.

1263
00:47:05,580 --> 00:47:06,420
No, not a car.

1264
00:47:06,420 --> 00:47:07,260
Right.

1265
00:47:07,260 --> 00:47:08,100
Right.

1266
00:47:08,100 --> 00:47:12,100
Growing up, I was afraid to go on the city bus at 3 PM.

1267
00:47:13,620 --> 00:47:15,620
I was afraid for a reason.

1268
00:47:15,620 --> 00:47:18,460
Because that's when the public school got out.

1269
00:47:18,460 --> 00:47:19,300
The public school kids.

1270
00:47:19,300 --> 00:47:21,100
The public school got out at 3 o'clock.

1271
00:47:21,100 --> 00:47:21,940
So what happened?

1272
00:47:21,940 --> 00:47:22,780
So what happened?

1273
00:47:22,780 --> 00:47:26,340
And forget about bullying within your circle.

1274
00:47:26,340 --> 00:47:28,940
Take it up a notch to bullying outside your circle.

1275
00:47:28,940 --> 00:47:29,780
They don't even know you.

1276
00:47:29,780 --> 00:47:31,380
They don't even know me.

1277
00:47:31,380 --> 00:47:33,100
Growing up in that environment.

1278
00:47:33,100 --> 00:47:34,940
To make sure so little about you,

1279
00:47:34,940 --> 00:47:38,340
they could take bullying up to the max throttle.

1280
00:47:38,340 --> 00:47:39,420
Harassing.

1281
00:47:39,420 --> 00:47:40,260
Yeah.

1282
00:47:40,260 --> 00:47:41,900
I mean, I don't even know what it would be called.

1283
00:47:41,900 --> 00:47:45,340
But we're talking about a situation where, you know,

1284
00:47:45,340 --> 00:47:48,580
I'd walk around with mace in my pocket.

1285
00:47:48,580 --> 00:47:49,420
Did you really?

1286
00:47:49,420 --> 00:47:50,260
Yeah.

1287
00:47:50,260 --> 00:47:51,100
Wow.

1288
00:47:51,100 --> 00:47:51,940
Yeah.

1289
00:47:51,940 --> 00:47:53,180
I grew up in an environment where fighting was normal.

1290
00:47:53,180 --> 00:47:54,020
We're getting mugged.

1291
00:47:54,020 --> 00:47:55,140
How old were you?

1292
00:47:55,140 --> 00:47:56,060
12.

1293
00:47:56,060 --> 00:47:56,900
That's crazy.

1294
00:47:57,700 --> 00:47:58,540
That's crazy.

1295
00:47:58,540 --> 00:47:59,380
That you had 13.

1296
00:47:59,380 --> 00:48:01,340
14 of mace.

1297
00:48:01,340 --> 00:48:04,060
Listen, I walked around with brass knuckles.

1298
00:48:04,060 --> 00:48:05,740
Not that I ever had to use it.

1299
00:48:05,740 --> 00:48:06,860
And the fact that you're saying now

1300
00:48:06,860 --> 00:48:08,860
about me being non-confrontational,

1301
00:48:08,860 --> 00:48:10,180
I actually agree with you,

1302
00:48:10,180 --> 00:48:11,180
but I'm thinking back.

1303
00:48:11,180 --> 00:48:13,100
It comes from an environment

1304
00:48:13,100 --> 00:48:15,620
of living on the streets of Brooklyn

1305
00:48:15,620 --> 00:48:19,540
where fighting and mugging and hurting one another

1306
00:48:19,540 --> 00:48:22,340
is a common everyday thing.

1307
00:48:22,340 --> 00:48:24,180
So when you grow up in a certain environment,

1308
00:48:24,180 --> 00:48:25,700
as you get older, you learn from that.

1309
00:48:25,700 --> 00:48:27,700
And you want to stay away from it.

1310
00:48:27,700 --> 00:48:29,780
I want to stay away from confrontation.

1311
00:48:29,780 --> 00:48:31,060
And the truth is,

1312
00:48:31,060 --> 00:48:32,700
I'm not even sure it's such a good thing right now

1313
00:48:32,700 --> 00:48:35,420
because I, you know, some people would call me a wuss.

1314
00:48:35,420 --> 00:48:36,260
What do you do now?

1315
00:48:36,260 --> 00:48:37,340
Would you stand up for yourself?

1316
00:48:37,340 --> 00:48:38,180
I don't know.

1317
00:48:38,180 --> 00:48:39,100
I shy away from God.

1318
00:48:39,100 --> 00:48:40,940
What do you do if you go to an event

1319
00:48:40,940 --> 00:48:44,620
and someone insults your significant other?

1320
00:48:44,620 --> 00:48:47,620
Someone that's different, pushes your friends different.

1321
00:48:47,620 --> 00:48:50,020
That you absolutely have to stand up.

1322
00:48:50,020 --> 00:48:52,700
At the moment, you have to do something about it.

1323
00:48:52,700 --> 00:48:54,020
Because standing up for you,

1324
00:48:54,020 --> 00:48:58,700
you're entitled to swallow your own honor,

1325
00:48:58,700 --> 00:49:01,900
but you are not afforded that same luxury

1326
00:49:01,900 --> 00:49:02,940
for somebody else's honor.

1327
00:49:02,940 --> 00:49:03,780
Even at risk.

1328
00:49:03,780 --> 00:49:07,140
And especially of being her significant other, especially.

1329
00:49:07,140 --> 00:49:08,100
Especially.

1330
00:49:08,100 --> 00:49:10,580
You have to make it very clear at that moment

1331
00:49:10,580 --> 00:49:12,660
that you're standing up for that person.

1332
00:49:12,660 --> 00:49:14,020
You know, by the way, not for nothing,

1333
00:49:14,020 --> 00:49:16,300
that's the whole thing that happened with Will Smith.

1334
00:49:16,300 --> 00:49:17,820
You realize this?

1335
00:49:17,820 --> 00:49:21,540
Will Smith got very provoked from Chris Rock

1336
00:49:21,540 --> 00:49:25,260
that infamous incident where we had that slap

1337
00:49:25,260 --> 00:49:28,460
at the Oscars, what happened was,

1338
00:49:28,460 --> 00:49:33,500
his wife was offended by a joke that Chris Rock had said.

1339
00:49:33,500 --> 00:49:35,700
And Will Smith noticed that.

1340
00:49:35,700 --> 00:49:39,220
And it hurt him as much as it hurt her.

1341
00:49:39,220 --> 00:49:40,820
Because he took offense for his wife,

1342
00:49:40,820 --> 00:49:42,140
even more than it would hurt her.

1343
00:49:42,140 --> 00:49:43,820
Exactly, exactly.

1344
00:49:43,820 --> 00:49:46,820
And he reacted in the way he did, I believe,

1345
00:49:46,820 --> 00:49:49,380
irrationally, obviously he did something

1346
00:49:49,380 --> 00:49:51,100
that was uncalled for.

1347
00:49:51,100 --> 00:49:53,300
But can you really blame the person

1348
00:49:53,300 --> 00:49:54,980
being in that state of mind?

1349
00:49:54,980 --> 00:49:57,100
It was standing up for his wife's honor.

1350
00:49:57,100 --> 00:50:00,140
I believe also, in this incident when happened,

1351
00:50:00,140 --> 00:50:02,260
when he was walking up to the stage,

1352
00:50:02,260 --> 00:50:05,620
he had about 30 seconds, 20 seconds,

1353
00:50:05,620 --> 00:50:07,020
to think why he was walking up.

1354
00:50:07,020 --> 00:50:09,580
I don't think during that time he intended

1355
00:50:09,580 --> 00:50:10,860
to actually hit Chris Rock.

1356
00:50:10,860 --> 00:50:11,700
No way.

1357
00:50:11,700 --> 00:50:12,740
I think he intended to go up there,

1358
00:50:12,740 --> 00:50:14,660
just make like a move on him, just like as a joke.

1359
00:50:14,660 --> 00:50:15,500
No.

1360
00:50:15,500 --> 00:50:16,340
As a joke, he didn't.

1361
00:50:16,340 --> 00:50:17,180
He was hitting him the second he got out.

1362
00:50:17,180 --> 00:50:18,620
No, I don't think he intended to hit him

1363
00:50:18,620 --> 00:50:19,780
from the moment he got out of his chair.

1364
00:50:19,780 --> 00:50:20,620
Just second.

1365
00:50:20,620 --> 00:50:23,700
I think when he got to him, when he got them and he arrived,

1366
00:50:23,700 --> 00:50:25,340
he gave them like, he also meant to give like,

1367
00:50:25,340 --> 00:50:27,980
and it got him harder than he intended.

1368
00:50:27,980 --> 00:50:31,740
I don't think it was as bad, it wasn't malicious.

1369
00:50:31,740 --> 00:50:32,580
I don't think it was as malicious as he did.

1370
00:50:32,580 --> 00:50:34,740
It was extremely malicious.

1371
00:50:34,740 --> 00:50:37,300
And in fact, I had a difficult time watching

1372
00:50:37,300 --> 00:50:39,420
the new Bad Boys movie because of it.

1373
00:50:39,420 --> 00:50:40,260
I'm not gonna lie to you.

1374
00:50:40,260 --> 00:50:41,540
You watched the new Bad Boys movie?

1375
00:50:41,540 --> 00:50:42,380
Ha ha ha.

1376
00:50:43,620 --> 00:50:45,580
30 years ago, I think it was the first time

1377
00:50:45,580 --> 00:50:46,940
the first Bad Boys came out.

1378
00:50:46,940 --> 00:50:49,140
25, 30 years ago, that was a great movie.

1379
00:50:49,140 --> 00:50:50,060
It was a great movie.

1380
00:50:50,060 --> 00:50:53,140
And the most recent movie, I believe Will Smith

1381
00:50:53,140 --> 00:50:56,660
and Lauren Lawrence have unbelievable chemistry.

1382
00:50:56,660 --> 00:50:59,340
The two of them are just stars.

1383
00:50:59,340 --> 00:51:00,980
The two of them are, they're their banter,

1384
00:51:00,980 --> 00:51:02,740
they're exchanged between the two of them.

1385
00:51:02,740 --> 00:51:05,060
And their personalities, how they portray them

1386
00:51:05,060 --> 00:51:07,380
in the movies, it works so well.

1387
00:51:07,380 --> 00:51:09,060
It meshes beautifully.

1388
00:51:09,060 --> 00:51:12,180
It's like, it's a beautiful symphony

1389
00:51:12,180 --> 00:51:13,420
between the two of them.

1390
00:51:13,420 --> 00:51:16,940
But you were saying that you don't think that this was,

1391
00:51:16,940 --> 00:51:18,860
first of all, this was really, really bad.

1392
00:51:18,860 --> 00:51:20,380
First of all, you deserve what he got.

1393
00:51:20,380 --> 00:51:22,900
Do you think Will Smith deserved to get the backlash

1394
00:51:22,900 --> 00:51:24,020
that he received?

1395
00:51:24,020 --> 00:51:25,860
I don't think he got enough.

1396
00:51:25,860 --> 00:51:27,140
You think he should have gotten more?

1397
00:51:27,140 --> 00:51:27,980
Yeah.

1398
00:51:27,980 --> 00:51:29,340
You don't think he did enough time?

1399
00:51:29,340 --> 00:51:30,340
What time did he do?

1400
00:51:30,340 --> 00:51:32,900
I mean, he got banned from the Oscars for five years.

1401
00:51:32,900 --> 00:51:33,740
Okay.

1402
00:51:33,740 --> 00:51:35,140
The whole Hollywood turned their back.

1403
00:51:35,140 --> 00:51:37,020
I'm sorry, did he apologize publicly?

1404
00:51:37,020 --> 00:51:40,260
Media posted him up and made and threw him down.

1405
00:51:40,260 --> 00:51:42,140
Like all of a sudden, all the good things Will Smith

1406
00:51:42,140 --> 00:51:44,180
ever did in his life didn't matter anymore.

1407
00:51:44,180 --> 00:51:45,740
This is who he was now.

1408
00:51:45,740 --> 00:51:47,220
By the way, this is another example

1409
00:51:47,220 --> 00:51:49,540
of people tearing someone else down.

1410
00:51:49,540 --> 00:51:51,540
I actually think you're defending him

1411
00:51:51,540 --> 00:51:52,820
instead of not protecting.

1412
00:51:52,820 --> 00:51:54,060
I'm not defending his action.

1413
00:51:54,060 --> 00:51:54,900
Okay.

1414
00:51:54,900 --> 00:51:56,900
I'd say what he did was wrong.

1415
00:51:56,900 --> 00:51:59,020
He assaulted someone.

1416
00:51:59,020 --> 00:52:00,140
He physically assaulted someone.

1417
00:52:00,140 --> 00:52:01,300
Sorry, did he apologize bad?

1418
00:52:01,300 --> 00:52:04,060
Did he apologize or see apologize publicly?

1419
00:52:04,060 --> 00:52:05,900
Tear see apologize with real tears.

1420
00:52:05,900 --> 00:52:08,020
Sure, you went on a couple of shows afterwards

1421
00:52:08,020 --> 00:52:09,500
and he apologized.

1422
00:52:09,500 --> 00:52:10,460
Are they friends now?

1423
00:52:10,460 --> 00:52:12,940
The minute he did what he did, he regretted.

1424
00:52:12,940 --> 00:52:14,300
Right away, he regretted it.

1425
00:52:14,300 --> 00:52:16,020
Instantaneously regretted it.

1426
00:52:16,020 --> 00:52:17,860
And I think that what happened to him

1427
00:52:17,860 --> 00:52:19,620
really got blown out of proportion

1428
00:52:19,620 --> 00:52:21,620
and they annihilated him.

1429
00:52:21,620 --> 00:52:23,540
They totally crucified him.

1430
00:52:24,620 --> 00:52:26,780
I don't think he deserved what he got.

1431
00:52:26,780 --> 00:52:28,060
I think we're human beings.

1432
00:52:28,060 --> 00:52:29,380
We make mistakes.

1433
00:52:29,380 --> 00:52:32,940
And not everybody is perfect far from it.

1434
00:52:32,940 --> 00:52:34,180
And this is just what it was.

1435
00:52:34,180 --> 00:52:36,380
People saw an opportunity to knock someone else.

1436
00:52:36,380 --> 00:52:37,220
I'm very sorry.

1437
00:52:37,220 --> 00:52:38,060
And it made themselves feel better.

1438
00:52:38,060 --> 00:52:39,140
I don't know if I agree.

1439
00:52:39,140 --> 00:52:41,260
This is a much larger discussion.

1440
00:52:41,260 --> 00:52:44,500
We're talking about, you don't give the right

1441
00:52:44,500 --> 00:52:46,780
for someone to screw up and for him to be annihilated

1442
00:52:46,780 --> 00:52:48,180
forever because he really screwed up.

1443
00:52:48,180 --> 00:52:50,060
No, everyone believe in second chance?

1444
00:52:50,060 --> 00:52:51,460
I do believe it's...

1445
00:52:51,460 --> 00:52:53,820
He did this by public form.

1446
00:52:55,100 --> 00:52:57,020
Yes, yes.

1447
00:52:57,020 --> 00:52:57,860
10.

1448
00:52:57,860 --> 00:52:58,700
Correct.

1449
00:52:58,700 --> 00:53:00,500
It was very milling.

1450
00:53:00,500 --> 00:53:01,340
Yes.

1451
00:53:01,340 --> 00:53:04,420
It was magnified because it was such a public state.

1452
00:53:04,420 --> 00:53:06,300
For the record, let me just say that yes,

1453
00:53:06,300 --> 00:53:09,060
if someone's a pedophile, their life is over.

1454
00:53:09,060 --> 00:53:09,900
Right?

1455
00:53:09,900 --> 00:53:10,740
Yeah.

1456
00:53:10,740 --> 00:53:11,580
Right?

1457
00:53:11,580 --> 00:53:12,420
They were dangerous to us.

1458
00:53:12,420 --> 00:53:13,260
Sure, sure.

1459
00:53:13,260 --> 00:53:14,100
Yes.

1460
00:53:14,100 --> 00:53:15,180
If someone, you know,

1461
00:53:15,180 --> 00:53:18,260
Ellen DeGeneres came out as being a very angry person.

1462
00:53:18,260 --> 00:53:20,340
Someone who was very rude to work with.

1463
00:53:20,340 --> 00:53:21,660
Allegedly.

1464
00:53:21,660 --> 00:53:22,500
Allegedly?

1465
00:53:22,500 --> 00:53:23,320
Yeah, allegedly.

1466
00:53:23,320 --> 00:53:24,580
We don't know this for certain.

1467
00:53:24,580 --> 00:53:26,460
She was never mean to me.

1468
00:53:26,460 --> 00:53:27,300
What does she mean to you?

1469
00:53:27,300 --> 00:53:29,780
So you only believe what something happens to you?

1470
00:53:29,780 --> 00:53:30,820
There are some people that are saying

1471
00:53:30,820 --> 00:53:32,140
that she was actually a great boss.

1472
00:53:32,140 --> 00:53:32,980
I see.

1473
00:53:32,980 --> 00:53:33,820
There are others that are saying

1474
00:53:33,820 --> 00:53:34,660
that they didn't know what the other people were talking about.

1475
00:53:34,660 --> 00:53:35,500
Okay.

1476
00:53:35,500 --> 00:53:36,340
Right?

1477
00:53:36,340 --> 00:53:38,860
So there's a slew of people that are coming out against her.

1478
00:53:38,860 --> 00:53:39,700
All I'm saying is that...

1479
00:53:39,700 --> 00:53:41,820
There are others that actually are big fans of her.

1480
00:53:41,820 --> 00:53:43,180
So we don't really know.

1481
00:53:43,180 --> 00:53:44,020
We don't really know what we have.

1482
00:53:44,020 --> 00:53:46,460
The Reserve Judgement, it is not our place

1483
00:53:46,460 --> 00:53:48,060
to come and to say this is what it is.

1484
00:53:48,060 --> 00:53:49,180
Ellen DeGeneres is a bad person.

1485
00:53:49,180 --> 00:53:50,140
Maybe she is, by the way.

1486
00:53:50,140 --> 00:53:50,980
Maybe she is.

1487
00:53:50,980 --> 00:53:51,820
I don't know.

1488
00:53:51,820 --> 00:53:52,660
All right.

1489
00:53:52,660 --> 00:53:54,460
All I'm saying is that I would hope people don't judge me that way.

1490
00:53:54,460 --> 00:53:57,780
I would hope people that don't know me and don't know you would give us

1491
00:53:57,780 --> 00:54:00,740
the courtesy of not making any judgments

1492
00:54:00,740 --> 00:54:03,180
until they've seen or heard something with their own eyes and ears.

1493
00:54:03,180 --> 00:54:04,020
Right. Exactly.

1494
00:54:04,020 --> 00:54:06,540
Like 5 million people watching live on a show

1495
00:54:06,540 --> 00:54:10,540
when someone gets up angrily and smacks his friend in front of...

1496
00:54:10,540 --> 00:54:11,380
Oh, I agree.

1497
00:54:11,380 --> 00:54:12,940
So my point is that I don't agree with you

1498
00:54:12,940 --> 00:54:14,620
that he didn't think about it.

1499
00:54:14,620 --> 00:54:16,300
He got up, he knew exactly what he was going to do.

1500
00:54:16,300 --> 00:54:18,900
I think he actually tamed down by the time he got up there.

1501
00:54:18,900 --> 00:54:22,300
And the fact is, yes, he served the punishment.

1502
00:54:22,300 --> 00:54:23,140
I do agree with you.

1503
00:54:23,140 --> 00:54:24,220
He served it.

1504
00:54:24,220 --> 00:54:26,780
Yeah, you know, and you should be able to move on.

1505
00:54:26,780 --> 00:54:28,540
You're allowed to make mistakes.

1506
00:54:28,540 --> 00:54:30,100
I believe in second chances.

1507
00:54:30,100 --> 00:54:32,580
I still had a hard time watching the movie.

1508
00:54:32,580 --> 00:54:33,420
I'm not going to lie to you.

1509
00:54:33,420 --> 00:54:34,260
I still had a hard time.

1510
00:54:34,260 --> 00:54:36,380
Look, my viewpoint to him changed.

1511
00:54:36,380 --> 00:54:41,940
By the way, the concept of talking bad about people is so real

1512
00:54:41,940 --> 00:54:44,540
is because when you hear something about somebody,

1513
00:54:44,540 --> 00:54:46,860
your view changes on them.

1514
00:54:46,860 --> 00:54:50,340
I used to sit in synagogue and shul on the weekends.

1515
00:54:50,340 --> 00:54:54,300
And I have a friend that was obsessed with other people

1516
00:54:54,300 --> 00:54:56,100
and how successful they are.

1517
00:54:56,100 --> 00:54:57,020
Obsessed.

1518
00:54:57,020 --> 00:54:57,860
So I'm going to come over to him.

1519
00:54:57,860 --> 00:54:58,580
He's keeping down.

1520
00:54:58,580 --> 00:54:59,340
Oh, yeah.

1521
00:54:59,340 --> 00:55:01,220
He knew all the latest and all the greatest

1522
00:55:01,220 --> 00:55:01,900
of what's going on.

1523
00:55:01,900 --> 00:55:04,580
Everybody, every synagogue has that type.

1524
00:55:04,580 --> 00:55:05,860
And it has those type of people.

1525
00:55:05,860 --> 00:55:06,260
Right.

1526
00:55:06,260 --> 00:55:06,980
You know what I'm talking about?

1527
00:55:06,980 --> 00:55:08,540
So he would come over.

1528
00:55:08,540 --> 00:55:09,540
You see that guy right over there?

1529
00:55:09,540 --> 00:55:10,300
He just made a deal.

1530
00:55:10,300 --> 00:55:12,540
He made $5 million last week.

1531
00:55:12,540 --> 00:55:13,940
Look at the car outside.

1532
00:55:13,940 --> 00:55:15,220
Yeah, exactly.

1533
00:55:15,220 --> 00:55:18,340
People love talking about that in general.

1534
00:55:18,340 --> 00:55:22,620
And I feel like you should be able to give someone

1535
00:55:22,620 --> 00:55:23,940
a second chance.

1536
00:55:23,940 --> 00:55:25,540
But yeah, it has to be balanced.

1537
00:55:25,540 --> 00:55:26,220
That's all I'm saying.

1538
00:55:26,220 --> 00:55:31,420
It has to be balanced, which this is all a part of don't judge

1539
00:55:31,420 --> 00:55:34,020
others as you wouldn't want to be judged.

1540
00:55:34,020 --> 00:55:35,340
That's the bottom line.

1541
00:55:35,340 --> 00:55:36,780
And we're not gods.

1542
00:55:36,780 --> 00:55:40,620
We're not the judge during the executioners in anybody's lives.

1543
00:55:40,620 --> 00:55:42,860
And people make mistakes.

1544
00:55:42,860 --> 00:55:44,900
People suck.

1545
00:55:44,900 --> 00:55:46,900
People fail.

1546
00:55:46,900 --> 00:55:48,020
People are meant.

1547
00:55:48,020 --> 00:55:49,180
That's what makes them people.

1548
00:55:49,180 --> 00:55:52,940
That is the greatest attribute of being a human being,

1549
00:55:52,940 --> 00:55:55,340
is that you're designed to be flawed.

1550
00:55:55,340 --> 00:55:57,500
So you have to hone it in.

1551
00:55:57,500 --> 00:55:59,460
And you have to cultivate this.

1552
00:55:59,460 --> 00:56:01,620
You have to bring out that good.

1553
00:56:01,620 --> 00:56:04,420
It's not just there by on its own.

1554
00:56:04,420 --> 00:56:08,620
You have to really toil and work hard to bring out

1555
00:56:08,620 --> 00:56:10,380
that goodness, because there is a lot.

1556
00:56:10,380 --> 00:56:12,020
There is a lot of goodness.

1557
00:56:12,020 --> 00:56:13,500
And you have to bring it out.

1558
00:56:13,500 --> 00:56:15,900
And we all make mistakes.

1559
00:56:15,900 --> 00:56:17,020
You get a second chance.

1560
00:56:17,020 --> 00:56:17,980
You get a third chance.

1561
00:56:17,980 --> 00:56:18,620
And it's endless.

1562
00:56:18,620 --> 00:56:19,660
You get as many chances.

1563
00:56:19,660 --> 00:56:19,940
Sure.

1564
00:56:19,940 --> 00:56:20,700
Keep trying.

1565
00:56:20,700 --> 00:56:21,300
Sure.

1566
00:56:21,300 --> 00:56:22,260
It didn't work yet?

1567
00:56:22,260 --> 00:56:23,300
Try again.

1568
00:56:23,300 --> 00:56:24,020
Try again.

1569
00:56:24,020 --> 00:56:24,780
Keep trying.

1570
00:56:24,780 --> 00:56:27,620
Are you a forgiving person?

1571
00:56:27,620 --> 00:56:28,660
Yes, you are.

1572
00:56:28,660 --> 00:56:29,380
Very.

1573
00:56:29,380 --> 00:56:33,300
So me personally, and all my friends who know me,

1574
00:56:33,300 --> 00:56:34,940
would agree and notice.

1575
00:56:34,940 --> 00:56:36,820
I get pretty upset pretty quickly.

1576
00:56:36,820 --> 00:56:38,900
I get insulted pretty quickly.

1577
00:56:38,900 --> 00:56:41,220
But I get over it just as quickly.

1578
00:56:41,220 --> 00:56:42,620
I get over it very fast.

1579
00:56:42,620 --> 00:56:44,180
I could be really upset at someone.

1580
00:56:44,180 --> 00:56:45,260
I could really upset.

1581
00:56:45,260 --> 00:56:46,980
I was really hurt by that person.

1582
00:56:46,980 --> 00:56:49,020
And I take it so to heart.

1583
00:56:49,020 --> 00:56:50,700
And it cuts me deeply.

1584
00:56:50,700 --> 00:56:52,420
And I want to talk to this person right now.

1585
00:56:52,420 --> 00:56:53,940
And I'm very upset.

1586
00:56:53,940 --> 00:56:55,260
Give me a couple of days.

1587
00:56:55,260 --> 00:56:57,620
A couple of days later, nothing happened.

1588
00:56:57,620 --> 00:56:59,580
Like nothing happened.

1589
00:56:59,580 --> 00:57:01,420
And it's an emotional swing.

1590
00:57:01,420 --> 00:57:03,980
It really, I think that's great.

1591
00:57:03,980 --> 00:57:06,140
I'm also a forgivable person.

1592
00:57:06,140 --> 00:57:08,380
I don't hold grudges at all.

1593
00:57:08,380 --> 00:57:10,740
Probably five minutes later, to the next thing.

1594
00:57:10,740 --> 00:57:11,820
You and I are like that.

1595
00:57:11,820 --> 00:57:12,860
Yes, we're able to move on.

1596
00:57:12,860 --> 00:57:13,620
Move on.

1597
00:57:13,620 --> 00:57:14,100
Move on.

1598
00:57:14,100 --> 00:57:16,060
We don't get stuck in the moment.

1599
00:57:16,060 --> 00:57:17,460
Yeah, we don't get stuck in the mud.

1600
00:57:17,460 --> 00:57:17,980
Right.

1601
00:57:17,980 --> 00:57:18,480
Exactly.

1602
00:57:18,480 --> 00:57:19,220
We keep it going.

1603
00:57:19,220 --> 00:57:20,380
And I think that's a not.

1604
00:57:20,380 --> 00:57:23,140
I think a lot of people would prefer to have them.

1605
00:57:23,140 --> 00:57:26,260
And did it ever happen to you that someone didn't forgive you?

1606
00:57:26,260 --> 00:57:28,220
Like you did something to someone and they just like,

1607
00:57:28,220 --> 00:57:29,300
they're not getting over it.

1608
00:57:29,300 --> 00:57:30,980
They're just like, they're so upset at you.

1609
00:57:30,980 --> 00:57:33,980
And it's just like, it's like, I don't know if I had anybody

1610
00:57:33,980 --> 00:57:35,860
in my life that I could think of.

1611
00:57:35,860 --> 00:57:36,860
But I did something to.

1612
00:57:36,860 --> 00:57:37,860
And they got upset at me.

1613
00:57:37,860 --> 00:57:40,380
And they're still till today upset at me.

1614
00:57:40,380 --> 00:57:43,220
Is there ever something that you did to someone that,

1615
00:57:43,220 --> 00:57:45,500
or I'm sorry, that someone did something to you that.

1616
00:57:45,500 --> 00:57:46,180
I'm still upset.

1617
00:57:46,180 --> 00:57:46,460
Yeah.

1618
00:57:46,460 --> 00:57:48,540
Or that you were upset about more than a day or two.

1619
00:57:48,540 --> 00:57:51,380
Like it hung on to you.

1620
00:57:51,380 --> 00:57:52,580
I don't think so.

1621
00:57:52,580 --> 00:57:55,820
I really don't think that there are anything, any person,

1622
00:57:55,820 --> 00:57:59,860
that I strife with, that I'm still right now holding grudge.

1623
00:57:59,860 --> 00:58:03,700
But even an extended period of time that I held on to a grudge.

1624
00:58:03,700 --> 00:58:04,460
I don't think so.

1625
00:58:04,460 --> 00:58:04,860
OK.

1626
00:58:04,860 --> 00:58:05,780
I really don't think so.

1627
00:58:05,780 --> 00:58:06,620
And then I think the key.

1628
00:58:06,620 --> 00:58:08,580
I'll tell you though, I get upset pretty quickly.

1629
00:58:08,580 --> 00:58:08,980
Yeah.

1630
00:58:08,980 --> 00:58:11,060
I get insulted very often.

1631
00:58:11,060 --> 00:58:12,540
You don't have to convey that it happens.

1632
00:58:12,540 --> 00:58:14,540
But at the same time, it's all.

1633
00:58:14,540 --> 00:58:16,420
You know, a lot of times it's part of my MO.

1634
00:58:16,420 --> 00:58:18,900
Like a lot of people, you know, they kind of make a joke about it.

1635
00:58:18,900 --> 00:58:20,900
So I play into it a little bit.

1636
00:58:20,900 --> 00:58:24,220
I have to play into it a little bit to keep that facade going.

1637
00:58:24,220 --> 00:58:25,700
You know, and it's fun.

1638
00:58:25,700 --> 00:58:27,140
It's all in good fun.

1639
00:58:27,140 --> 00:58:28,060
It's all in good fun.

1640
00:58:28,060 --> 00:58:31,820
And you know, Michael, this is another part that makes me happier.

1641
00:58:31,820 --> 00:58:33,300
And I think can make other people happier.

1642
00:58:33,300 --> 00:58:35,620
Is that they don't take themselves too seriously.

1643
00:58:35,620 --> 00:58:38,860
They allow themselves to be made fun of.

1644
00:58:38,860 --> 00:58:41,380
They allow themselves to be the butt of a joke.

1645
00:58:41,380 --> 00:58:43,100
Sometimes it's OK.

1646
00:58:43,100 --> 00:58:47,300
It's OK because then you won't take yourself too seriously.

1647
00:58:47,300 --> 00:58:48,940
And if you don't take yourself too seriously,

1648
00:58:48,940 --> 00:58:50,740
it'll also make you happier.

1649
00:58:50,740 --> 00:58:52,660
It'll also free you.

1650
00:58:52,660 --> 00:58:55,780
You'll also be able to live life in a carefree manner

1651
00:58:55,780 --> 00:58:57,220
if you don't take yourself too seriously.

1652
00:58:57,220 --> 00:58:58,860
So it goes back to what we were talking about.

1653
00:58:58,860 --> 00:58:59,420
Absolutely.

1654
00:58:59,420 --> 00:59:01,300
Is that the parameter 100 to 0?

1655
00:59:01,300 --> 00:59:01,820
I love that.

1656
00:59:01,820 --> 00:59:02,780
Gotta be at 50.

1657
00:59:02,780 --> 00:59:07,180
Let's end today's session talking about how we started, right?

1658
00:59:07,180 --> 00:59:11,020
And talking about the fact that, you know, you have to be confident, right?

1659
00:59:11,020 --> 00:59:11,980
You have to be vulnerable.

1660
00:59:11,980 --> 00:59:12,500
Yes.

1661
00:59:12,500 --> 00:59:14,060
And you have to be forgiving.

1662
00:59:14,060 --> 00:59:14,460
Forgiving.

1663
00:59:14,460 --> 00:59:16,060
And you have to move on.

1664
00:59:16,060 --> 00:59:21,180
And ultimately, those are recipes to being happier.

1665
00:59:21,180 --> 00:59:21,540
To be.

1666
00:59:21,540 --> 00:59:22,540
Do you want to be right?

1667
00:59:22,540 --> 00:59:22,780
Yeah.

1668
00:59:22,780 --> 00:59:23,700
Or do you want to be happy?

1669
00:59:23,700 --> 00:59:24,380
100%.

1670
00:59:24,380 --> 00:59:25,820
Which one?

1671
00:59:25,820 --> 00:59:26,580
Right.

1672
00:59:26,580 --> 00:59:27,180
I agree.

1673
00:59:27,180 --> 00:59:27,740
That's another one.

1674
00:59:27,740 --> 00:59:28,660
And we'll end with that.

1675
00:59:28,660 --> 00:59:29,860
LaRae, I am a peaceful moment.

1676
00:59:29,860 --> 00:59:30,900
Cheers.

1677
00:59:30,900 --> 00:59:31,100
All right.

1678
00:59:31,100 --> 00:59:33,980
We always like to reflect on our podcast, Oshi.

1679
00:59:33,980 --> 00:59:37,660
That's something that was given to us as a suggestion from some of our listeners.

1680
00:59:37,660 --> 00:59:40,140
And in doing so, I want to tell you,

1681
00:59:40,140 --> 00:59:44,100
I love getting to know different sides of you and me,

1682
00:59:44,100 --> 00:59:46,500
getting vulnerable and having teachable moments.

1683
00:59:46,500 --> 00:59:51,900
And I think that's where we're heading continuously in the growth of this podcast, Oshi.

1684
00:59:51,900 --> 00:59:52,300
Yeah.

1685
00:59:52,300 --> 00:59:54,860
By the way, not for nothing.

1686
00:59:54,860 --> 01:00:02,460
The main reason I think people go to therapy is not necessarily to hear what the therapist

1687
01:00:02,460 --> 01:00:07,140
is telling them, the advice that they're going to give, the consultation, a big part of it,

1688
01:00:07,140 --> 01:00:09,260
is to hear yourself speak, right?

1689
01:00:09,260 --> 01:00:12,940
You learn a lot about yourself when you say things out loud.

1690
01:00:12,940 --> 01:00:18,020
And I think when we do this podcast, Michael, a lot of that is happening to us,

1691
01:00:18,020 --> 01:00:26,140
is that we are having discussions and we're talking about things that we typically don't discuss.

1692
01:00:26,140 --> 01:00:28,620
And we get to hear ourselves speak.

1693
01:00:28,620 --> 01:00:31,420
And I learned things about myself too along the way.

1694
01:00:31,420 --> 01:00:38,940
And I think that's very cool that people get to learn things about me at the same time I'm learning them as well.

1695
01:00:38,940 --> 01:00:45,660
And I think that's the vulnerable part that you talk about a lot is for something to happen in the public eye,

1696
01:00:45,660 --> 01:00:50,260
whether it's growth, your experiences to share that with other people, it's always a risk.

1697
01:00:50,260 --> 01:00:52,780
And it's always very nerve wracking.

1698
01:00:52,780 --> 01:00:54,940
And you have to overcome that.

1699
01:00:54,940 --> 01:00:59,300
And you have to be more bold and you have to take risks because ultimately,

1700
01:00:59,300 --> 01:01:01,460
the more risk you take, the bigger the reward.

1701
01:01:01,460 --> 01:01:05,220
And I think the reward for us is not just that we can help other people.

1702
01:01:05,220 --> 01:01:10,060
We're helping ourselves along the way by having these meaningful discussions.

1703
01:01:10,060 --> 01:01:22,900
I agree. And I want to wrap it up in a bow and give our final takeaway from this episode of speaking to others is therapeutic for others and for yourself.

1704
01:01:22,900 --> 01:01:29,700
And it's something that you can always learn from when opening up yourself to others and allowing others to open themselves up to you.

1705
01:01:29,700 --> 01:01:35,100
And on that note, please like, subscribe, follow, give us your comments and feedback.

1706
01:01:35,100 --> 01:01:36,380
We always appreciate it.

1707
01:01:36,380 --> 01:01:38,100
We are listening.

1708
01:01:38,100 --> 01:01:43,500
We're working on our listening skills every single time we speak to each other and we're listening to what you have to say.

1709
01:01:43,500 --> 01:01:44,780
Please give us some feedback.

1710
01:01:44,780 --> 01:02:06,260
See you next time.