WEBVTT 00:00:00.010 --> 00:00:02.750 The Inspired Insights podcast is for informational 00:00:02.750 --> 00:00:05.089 and entertainment purposes only and should not 00:00:05.089 --> 00:00:07.570 be considered health advice. This podcast is 00:00:07.570 --> 00:00:09.630 not intended to replace professional medical 00:00:09.630 --> 00:00:12.509 advice. Please note that this podcast may contain 00:00:12.509 --> 00:00:14.970 discussions on sensitive topics such as mental 00:00:14.970 --> 00:00:17.550 illness, suicide, and substance use. If you are 00:00:17.550 --> 00:00:19.969 experiencing a behavior health crisis or need 00:00:19.969 --> 00:00:23.109 support, please contact the 988 Suicide and Crisis 00:00:23.109 --> 00:00:29.050 Lifeline by calling 988 or visiting www .988lifeline 00:00:29.050 --> 00:00:55.189 .org. Welcome! Welcome to Inspired Sites! How 00:00:55.189 --> 00:00:58.960 are you? I am fantastic. Feeling very optimistic. 00:00:59.560 --> 00:01:02.280 Oh, we'll have to come back to that. We have 00:01:02.280 --> 00:01:05.879 some guests with us. I love having guests in 00:01:05.879 --> 00:01:09.180 our studio. Yes. I love it. Yes. I'll let our 00:01:09.180 --> 00:01:13.519 guests introduce themselves and then I'll discuss 00:01:13.519 --> 00:01:15.140 with our listeners what we want to talk about 00:01:15.140 --> 00:01:19.420 today. Indeed. Yes. Hello. I'm super glad to 00:01:19.420 --> 00:01:21.280 be here. Thanks for inviting me, Chris and Soren. 00:01:21.340 --> 00:01:25.140 It's amazing. I'm Angela Felicia. I'm the director 00:01:25.140 --> 00:01:27.719 of UMaine's Counseling Center, and I'm really 00:01:27.719 --> 00:01:32.159 happy to be here. And fun fact, you and I's friendship, 00:01:32.439 --> 00:01:38.439 we're coming up to our 26th year of friendship. 00:01:38.620 --> 00:01:42.000 1999, fall of 1990, Matt. What is the traditional 00:01:42.000 --> 00:01:47.680 gift of a 26 -year -old? Remembering it. Yeah, 00:01:49.060 --> 00:01:52.859 we met August of 1999. Yeah, that's true. Did 00:01:52.859 --> 00:01:55.260 I do the math right then? Sorry. You got it again. 00:01:55.359 --> 00:02:00.120 Yeah, sure. 25, no, 27. Yeah, yeah, coming up 00:02:00.120 --> 00:02:02.459 in the fall. Yeah, coming up on 26. Yeah, we'd 00:02:02.459 --> 00:02:04.980 be coming on 26. Yeah. So fellow social worker, 00:02:05.140 --> 00:02:08.199 we met in graduate school as resident directors 00:02:08.199 --> 00:02:10.439 at the University of Maine. Speaking of. Which 00:02:10.439 --> 00:02:13.159 brings me to guest number two. That is me. My 00:02:13.159 --> 00:02:15.520 name's Andy Bowen, and I'm the director of residence 00:02:15.520 --> 00:02:18.960 life at UMaine. Welcome, you two. It's so nice. 00:02:19.259 --> 00:02:23.960 Yeah, so nice. So, the reason why Soren and I 00:02:23.960 --> 00:02:26.520 wanted to ask you both to come on this episode 00:02:26.520 --> 00:02:29.219 is because Soren, if you look at Soren's sweatshirt, 00:02:29.280 --> 00:02:32.699 our listeners now know Soren is heading far away 00:02:32.699 --> 00:02:37.460 come September of this year. Indeed. I mean, 00:02:37.479 --> 00:02:39.689 you've lived... You've traveled a lot. We've 00:02:39.689 --> 00:02:41.870 talked about that. Yeah, I have. But this will 00:02:41.870 --> 00:02:45.370 be your first time like living, not visiting, 00:02:45.449 --> 00:02:47.669 but living somewhere else. So I thought it'd 00:02:47.669 --> 00:02:50.169 be kind of cool to talk to some college life 00:02:50.169 --> 00:02:55.050 experts about what's in store. Thinking about 00:02:55.050 --> 00:02:59.509 what's that transition like from being high school 00:02:59.509 --> 00:03:03.110 with families to now independent in another country. 00:03:03.930 --> 00:03:08.080 I know your university. alma mater university 00:03:08.080 --> 00:03:11.219 serves students from all over the really the 00:03:11.219 --> 00:03:14.280 world yeah at this point so that international 00:03:14.280 --> 00:03:17.199 approach to higher education i think would be 00:03:17.199 --> 00:03:19.680 really interesting and then what are some of 00:03:19.680 --> 00:03:22.620 the challenges that young people have as they 00:03:22.620 --> 00:03:27.319 transition into that new life yeah first inspired 00:03:27.319 --> 00:03:31.219 insights of the week chris would you like to 00:03:31.219 --> 00:03:37.110 start it off so uh Folks know Soren's mom is 00:03:37.110 --> 00:03:40.689 now the, what are we, the laundry queen? Oh, 00:03:40.689 --> 00:03:45.569 of course. Laundry queen of Bangalore. I was 00:03:45.569 --> 00:03:50.289 thinking about, like, what famously needs to 00:03:50.289 --> 00:03:54.210 happen when college kids get to campus. For many 00:03:54.210 --> 00:03:55.750 of them, they're learning how to do laundry for 00:03:55.750 --> 00:03:57.409 the first time. They need to learn how to do 00:03:57.409 --> 00:04:00.530 that before they get there. Ideally, right? So, 00:04:00.710 --> 00:04:04.080 inspired inside of the week? You don't need to 00:04:04.080 --> 00:04:07.080 use as much laundry soap. You don't need to wash 00:04:07.080 --> 00:04:12.680 your clothes every single wear except socks and 00:04:12.680 --> 00:04:17.000 underwear. Those got to be clean, but use like 00:04:17.000 --> 00:04:20.279 a little bit less soap and wear your clothes 00:04:20.279 --> 00:04:23.480 at times. But hang them back up. Nobody likes 00:04:23.480 --> 00:04:26.939 a refugee. But there's a fine line between being 00:04:26.939 --> 00:04:29.379 savvy with your laundry and being stinky. You're 00:04:29.379 --> 00:04:32.439 right. That's true. That's true. I'm not wrong. 00:04:32.860 --> 00:04:38.420 writing that line. Yeah, as am I. We're all on 00:04:38.420 --> 00:04:42.379 sappy. Yeah, we're on the line of sappy. Fingers 00:04:42.379 --> 00:04:44.879 crossed. So that's my laundry inspired insight 00:04:44.879 --> 00:04:48.220 of the week. Soren, your inspired insight. So, 00:04:48.600 --> 00:04:54.970 last night I was... engaging in a Kerr -Talman 00:04:54.970 --> 00:04:56.790 tournament. For those of you who don't know what 00:04:56.790 --> 00:05:00.350 Kerr -Talman is, it is a essentially like competitive 00:05:00.350 --> 00:05:03.110 Latin trivia where you're on teams of four. Wait, 00:05:03.110 --> 00:05:07.589 let that sink in. Competitive Latin trivia. Okay. 00:05:10.009 --> 00:05:12.750 But I promise it's a real sport and it's really 00:05:12.750 --> 00:05:17.949 fun. I had the opportunity to participate with 00:05:17.949 --> 00:05:22.110 a great group of my fellow students, and my team 00:05:22.110 --> 00:05:26.310 ended up coming out on top of the stay. Congratulations. 00:05:26.730 --> 00:05:31.449 Yeah. So that was really fun. But my inspired 00:05:31.449 --> 00:05:36.449 insight is more about the pretense and expectations 00:05:36.449 --> 00:05:41.870 that people have around everything when... it's 00:05:41.870 --> 00:05:45.329 kind of not that big of a deal like in in relationships 00:05:45.329 --> 00:05:48.769 i think we have a tendency to create like a bunch 00:05:48.769 --> 00:05:51.370 of like social expectations and schema around 00:05:51.370 --> 00:05:55.389 things that don't really matter at all and like 00:05:55.389 --> 00:05:58.889 i found myself last night really wanting like 00:05:58.889 --> 00:06:02.550 validation from my teacher and he was not really 00:06:02.550 --> 00:06:06.470 giving it to me yeah but um i found myself thinking 00:06:06.470 --> 00:06:08.819 well Honestly, it really doesn't matter because 00:06:08.819 --> 00:06:11.319 this is for me. It's not about like the social 00:06:11.319 --> 00:06:15.399 expectation or what people are expecting. It 00:06:15.399 --> 00:06:18.699 really is just because I had fun playing trivia. 00:06:19.300 --> 00:06:23.759 Yeah. And important light skill. Like as you 00:06:23.759 --> 00:06:27.240 age, as we age, the ability to find gratification 00:06:27.240 --> 00:06:29.379 from within and not externally. I thought you 00:06:29.379 --> 00:06:33.980 meant Latin trivia. Or Latin trivia. Yeah. And 00:06:33.980 --> 00:06:36.810 congratulations. Thank you. and not expecting 00:06:36.810 --> 00:06:40.709 uh like gratification from others right like 00:06:40.709 --> 00:06:44.170 when we attempt to force others to be our source 00:06:44.170 --> 00:06:47.949 of uh like happiness it ultimately just creates 00:06:47.949 --> 00:06:51.569 like a power play like and high tension relationship 00:06:51.569 --> 00:06:54.470 between two individuals right great insights 00:06:55.040 --> 00:06:57.000 I love how I talked about laundry and you're 00:06:57.000 --> 00:06:59.000 talking about interpersonal relationships and 00:06:59.000 --> 00:07:01.939 personal qualification. Well, I think that speaks 00:07:01.939 --> 00:07:03.779 to what's great about this podcast, the blend 00:07:03.779 --> 00:07:06.000 of pragmatic and philosophical. That's true. 00:07:07.139 --> 00:07:11.040 We do ride that line, too. Andy, inspired insight. 00:07:11.300 --> 00:07:14.300 All right. So I have not always been a Taylor 00:07:14.300 --> 00:07:16.439 Swift fan. I wasn't ever against Taylor Swift. 00:07:16.740 --> 00:07:20.819 Growing up, I listened to like Fish and Dave 00:07:20.819 --> 00:07:24.660 Matthews. So I wasn't, I wasn't. into it. So 00:07:24.660 --> 00:07:27.259 I started noticing that all of my students were 00:07:27.259 --> 00:07:30.819 really into it and like in a way far beyond what 00:07:30.819 --> 00:07:35.199 just like music listenership would qualify as. 00:07:35.300 --> 00:07:36.800 It was much more passionate. So then I started 00:07:36.800 --> 00:07:40.600 listening to it and there are certain songs that 00:07:40.600 --> 00:07:43.930 I still don't get. right I'm like what and then 00:07:43.930 --> 00:07:45.970 there are some that I'll hear it and I hear the 00:07:45.970 --> 00:07:47.730 words I hear the music and the way that it makes 00:07:47.730 --> 00:07:50.029 me feel like and I'm like oh I do get it like 00:07:50.029 --> 00:07:52.589 I understand it's she's writing about these feelings 00:07:52.589 --> 00:07:54.689 that we've all had yeah you know or that we will 00:07:54.689 --> 00:07:55.930 have we don't even know that we're gonna have 00:07:55.930 --> 00:07:57.829 them so I was thinking about I can do it with 00:07:57.829 --> 00:08:02.370 a broken heart which is um just a fantastic I 00:08:02.370 --> 00:08:07.639 think song about resilience yeah and I mean geopolitically 00:08:07.639 --> 00:08:09.839 right now I think a lot of our hearts are breaking 00:08:09.839 --> 00:08:12.560 like we're seeing what's happening and we have 00:08:12.560 --> 00:08:17.040 such a huge job in front of us right such a huge 00:08:17.040 --> 00:08:20.540 job but our hearts are broken we need to like 00:08:20.540 --> 00:08:23.500 boss up and she knows I gave her this pep talk 00:08:23.500 --> 00:08:27.399 the other day but yeah we need to do it anyway 00:08:27.399 --> 00:08:31.639 I've like carried on Bitch. Smile. I should have 00:08:31.639 --> 00:08:33.700 worn those bracelets today. I'm surprised you're 00:08:33.700 --> 00:08:35.559 not. I have that set. If we had talked beforehand, 00:08:35.639 --> 00:08:36.899 I absolutely would have. Well, I wanted to really 00:08:36.899 --> 00:08:39.460 dazzle you with the surprise. And you did. Thank 00:08:39.460 --> 00:08:46.860 you. Thank you. Thank you. Angela. Yes. Inspired 00:08:46.860 --> 00:08:50.779 insight. So my inspired insight comes from actually 00:08:50.779 --> 00:08:54.000 one of my most favorite quotes of all time. Reverend 00:08:54.000 --> 00:08:56.019 William Barber. Do you all know Reverend William 00:08:56.019 --> 00:08:59.440 Barber? He is a leader in an anti -poverty movement. 00:08:59.860 --> 00:09:05.100 And he spoke at a DNC convention a good 10 years 00:09:05.100 --> 00:09:09.159 ago. What he said stuck with me forever. And 00:09:09.159 --> 00:09:11.120 I'll paraphrase it because I don't quite have 00:09:11.120 --> 00:09:17.320 the Reverend Barber gravitas. That people get 00:09:17.320 --> 00:09:21.029 bogged down with what matters so little. And 00:09:21.029 --> 00:09:22.789 they don't pay attention to the things that matter 00:09:22.789 --> 00:09:25.649 so much. And so we need to really pay attention 00:09:25.649 --> 00:09:31.149 to the things that matter so much. Versus like 00:09:31.149 --> 00:09:33.309 worrying about the minutiae, which is similar 00:09:33.309 --> 00:09:35.070 to your... Yeah, actually, I was going to say 00:09:35.070 --> 00:09:37.690 that's, I think, very related to what I was trying 00:09:37.690 --> 00:09:40.490 to get at. Yeah. Yeah. Nicely said. Cool thread. 00:09:42.029 --> 00:09:45.649 So as I said to the start of the podcast, you 00:09:45.649 --> 00:09:48.009 and I as social workers go way back. I'd love 00:09:48.009 --> 00:09:52.539 to hear your... How you got into higher ed, because 00:09:52.539 --> 00:09:56.500 I think you're coming up to a long time. Oh my 00:09:56.500 --> 00:09:59.600 gosh, so many years. Yeah, so what about higher 00:09:59.600 --> 00:10:02.779 education drew you career -wise? Okay, this is 00:10:02.779 --> 00:10:05.840 going to make me sound so awful. I am not driven 00:10:05.840 --> 00:10:08.879 by passion or anything. I just happened to fall 00:10:08.879 --> 00:10:13.120 into an RA role when I was in my undergrad. I 00:10:13.120 --> 00:10:15.929 majored in... art history and foreign languages 00:10:15.929 --> 00:10:18.049 have nothing to do with student development. 00:10:18.230 --> 00:10:21.750 I fell into this RE role where I was mentoring 00:10:21.750 --> 00:10:25.690 peers and helping them just exist as adults independent 00:10:25.690 --> 00:10:28.250 of whatever family they were coming from and 00:10:28.250 --> 00:10:31.210 at that point as a peer right and I just found 00:10:31.210 --> 00:10:33.309 that I was kind of naturally good at it. Now 00:10:33.309 --> 00:10:36.590 I'm also naturally extremely lazy right so this 00:10:36.590 --> 00:10:39.169 is something that I'm already good at and then 00:10:39.169 --> 00:10:41.370 you're telling me that I get paid to have barbecues 00:10:41.370 --> 00:10:44.320 and make people feel good about themselves? Yeah, 00:10:44.519 --> 00:10:47.360 yeah. Right. So I kind of got into it that way 00:10:47.360 --> 00:10:49.480 and actually went to school. I grew up in Maine, 00:10:49.539 --> 00:10:51.779 went to school away from Maine. And it made me 00:10:51.779 --> 00:10:54.159 appreciate Maine people a lot more. I worked 00:10:54.159 --> 00:10:56.620 at Upstate New York and lived there for about 00:10:56.620 --> 00:10:59.519 seven years. It's fairly similar. Like the way 00:10:59.519 --> 00:11:02.620 people think and the way they act is kind of 00:11:02.620 --> 00:11:06.379 similar to here. But it made me miss how authentic 00:11:06.379 --> 00:11:10.879 people in Maine are. Like without any care as 00:11:10.879 --> 00:11:12.919 to how the rest of the country might be thinking 00:11:12.919 --> 00:11:15.659 about. me like nobody seems to care and i just 00:11:15.659 --> 00:11:17.600 really like that like maine's gonna do what maine's 00:11:17.600 --> 00:11:19.039 gonna do no matter what so i was like i get you 00:11:19.039 --> 00:11:23.159 back to that yeah yeah that's awesome now i know 00:11:23.159 --> 00:11:26.600 your your why for social work but i want to give 00:11:26.600 --> 00:11:29.399 you the opportunity to share sure listeners your 00:11:29.399 --> 00:11:34.259 why yeah um my why for social work uh is because 00:11:34.259 --> 00:11:37.299 i really thought i would do something to save 00:11:37.299 --> 00:11:40.279 the world that was really kind of my mission 00:11:40.279 --> 00:11:42.379 i was telling andy that at lunch today in fact 00:11:42.379 --> 00:11:45.019 that i went into social work my bachelor's was 00:11:45.019 --> 00:11:48.299 in psychology so i really like people really 00:11:48.299 --> 00:11:50.740 like understanding people and i thought oh i 00:11:50.740 --> 00:11:52.220 know i'm going to do social work because i'm 00:11:52.220 --> 00:11:56.299 going to help save the world um the world is 00:11:56.299 --> 00:11:59.240 a much bigger place than what I thought I was 00:11:59.240 --> 00:12:02.240 when I was younger. So now I just really want 00:12:02.240 --> 00:12:05.159 to save my corner of the world and make a difference 00:12:05.159 --> 00:12:09.179 for my little piece of the planet and the people 00:12:09.179 --> 00:12:13.679 around me. Yeah. Which I will say, you're killing 00:12:13.679 --> 00:12:16.580 it. You're doing it. Thanks, Chris. Obviously, 00:12:16.840 --> 00:12:19.580 I'm going to say you are one of the fiercest 00:12:19.580 --> 00:12:24.139 allies to LGBTQ plus individuals that I've ever 00:12:24.139 --> 00:12:27.179 met. So you're doing it in your own way. I love 00:12:27.179 --> 00:12:31.899 that. Yeah. So let's start off thinking about 00:12:31.899 --> 00:12:36.240 this transition into what's next, right? Going 00:12:36.240 --> 00:12:41.340 from high school to college life. And I'll let 00:12:41.340 --> 00:12:43.799 you kind of kick us off in the conversation. 00:12:44.590 --> 00:12:49.070 What do you notice the most, just in generally 00:12:49.070 --> 00:12:52.929 speaking, like that group of 17, 18 -ish year 00:12:52.929 --> 00:12:55.169 olds? Transitioning. Transitioning. From being 00:12:55.169 --> 00:12:59.190 at home to being away from home. What I notice 00:12:59.190 --> 00:13:05.029 is there are so many students who have relied 00:13:05.029 --> 00:13:08.129 very, very heavily on whatever grownups are in 00:13:08.129 --> 00:13:11.700 their life to manage. the difficult parts of 00:13:11.700 --> 00:13:14.460 their life, to manage the complicated parts of 00:13:14.460 --> 00:13:17.440 their life, the logistic parts of their life, 00:13:17.519 --> 00:13:21.799 all this stuff. And then once they are in the 00:13:21.799 --> 00:13:25.340 college environment, the expectation from the 00:13:25.340 --> 00:13:28.559 college... is that the student is managing that 00:13:28.559 --> 00:13:31.120 on their own. So we're only communicating with 00:13:31.120 --> 00:13:33.539 the student or a variety of reasons why. But 00:13:33.539 --> 00:13:35.720 I find that a lot of our incoming students aren't 00:13:35.720 --> 00:13:38.399 prepared for that. And likewise, the parents 00:13:38.399 --> 00:13:40.899 aren't prepared. I mean, they've been able to 00:13:40.899 --> 00:13:44.259 go in and see like on power school or whatever 00:13:44.259 --> 00:13:46.480 they do, they can go in and see all of their 00:13:46.480 --> 00:13:48.840 kids information. And then as soon as their student 00:13:48.840 --> 00:13:50.580 is enrolled in an institution of higher education, 00:13:50.919 --> 00:13:54.879 those FERPA privacies can get. um really intense 00:13:54.879 --> 00:13:57.240 and we're not talking to parents about things 00:13:57.240 --> 00:13:59.080 unless we've got express permission from the 00:13:59.080 --> 00:14:01.240 student so then if you've got a communication 00:14:01.240 --> 00:14:03.679 issue between the student and the parent where 00:14:03.679 --> 00:14:06.159 maybe the student isn't so communicative with 00:14:06.159 --> 00:14:08.940 their parent parents not getting information 00:14:08.940 --> 00:14:11.740 students aren't getting resources and so is it 00:14:11.740 --> 00:14:14.320 predictable yes but it's kind of like this the 00:14:14.320 --> 00:14:16.539 whole transition it's everyone involved in the 00:14:16.539 --> 00:14:19.950 transition that they're is struggling you know 00:14:19.950 --> 00:14:22.990 yeah yeah yeah and correct me if i'm wrong for 00:14:22.990 --> 00:14:26.789 our listeners burpa is the healthcare version 00:14:26.789 --> 00:14:30.269 of hipaa the college version of hipaa it's the 00:14:30.269 --> 00:14:33.250 federal education right to privacy act got it 00:14:33.250 --> 00:14:38.070 so you can't share information about these students 00:14:38.070 --> 00:14:40.429 no i mean if somebody calls if a parent calls 00:14:40.429 --> 00:14:44.559 me at work and says Hey, I have a question about 00:14:44.559 --> 00:14:48.179 my child, my student. I can't even verify that 00:14:48.179 --> 00:14:50.539 that person is a student. Really? Even though 00:14:50.539 --> 00:14:54.100 parents are paying the bills? It does not matter 00:14:54.100 --> 00:14:56.539 who's paying the bill. The matriculated student, 00:14:56.679 --> 00:14:59.440 regardless of their age, is entitled to these 00:14:59.440 --> 00:15:01.980 privacies. So that is a very important thing 00:15:01.980 --> 00:15:03.960 for both the incoming student to know as well 00:15:03.960 --> 00:15:06.669 as the parent. That information is not going 00:15:06.669 --> 00:15:10.090 to be flowing freely. Because I started college 00:15:10.090 --> 00:15:13.129 at 17. I'm an October birthday. So I started 00:15:13.129 --> 00:15:16.649 college at 17 in September. So technically still 00:15:16.649 --> 00:15:20.029 a minor for a month and a half or so. Yeah, there 00:15:20.029 --> 00:15:22.830 are still certain things about your experience 00:15:22.830 --> 00:15:25.190 at the university that we would not share. Did 00:15:25.190 --> 00:15:28.830 you know that that was a thing? I was vaguely 00:15:28.830 --> 00:15:31.690 aware of something similar to that, but I didn't 00:15:31.690 --> 00:15:34.960 realize the significance of that barrier. which 00:15:34.960 --> 00:15:38.820 introduces a very interesting new variable to 00:15:38.820 --> 00:15:41.860 a relationship that has been very direct for 00:15:41.860 --> 00:15:45.480 your entire life. And like, I know that without 00:15:45.480 --> 00:15:48.159 my mother, I would not be, and my father, I would 00:15:48.159 --> 00:15:52.840 not be able to manage any of my affairs. So that 00:15:52.840 --> 00:15:55.980 does. It's a little food for thought for me. 00:15:56.159 --> 00:15:58.879 But also correct me if I'm wrong, like in our 00:15:58.879 --> 00:16:01.220 healthcare worlds, can the student give this 00:16:01.220 --> 00:16:05.259 university permission to? Yes, of course. Any 00:16:05.259 --> 00:16:08.379 individual student can give permission for a 00:16:08.379 --> 00:16:11.179 variety of releases. So whether it's behavioral 00:16:11.179 --> 00:16:13.259 information, financial information, academic 00:16:13.259 --> 00:16:16.460 information. Not medical information because 00:16:16.460 --> 00:16:20.879 that's not. educational. But you can give permission 00:16:20.879 --> 00:16:23.980 to certain people to see certain parts of your 00:16:23.980 --> 00:16:27.399 educational record or speak to people about you 00:16:27.399 --> 00:16:30.240 and your experience at the university. Now, how 00:16:30.240 --> 00:16:33.159 does that work for you, Angela, as at the counseling 00:16:33.159 --> 00:16:36.120 center that you're running where you've got clinicians 00:16:36.120 --> 00:16:39.779 treating? So you've got kind of FERPA and some 00:16:39.779 --> 00:16:41.720 other things going on. We do. It ends up being 00:16:41.720 --> 00:16:44.059 really complicated. And we will get, to Andy's 00:16:44.059 --> 00:16:46.259 point, right, we will start getting in August, 00:16:46.519 --> 00:16:49.039 we will start getting parents calling us, parents 00:16:49.039 --> 00:16:51.559 of first years. And they will say, you know, 00:16:51.580 --> 00:16:56.940 my child, Chris, is coming onto campus. I know 00:16:56.940 --> 00:16:58.399 they're anxious. I want to schedule a counseling 00:16:58.399 --> 00:17:03.639 appointment. And we have to say, nope. Here's 00:17:03.639 --> 00:17:05.059 our number. Have your student call us. Yep, have 00:17:05.059 --> 00:17:06.900 your student call us. And parents aren't happy 00:17:06.900 --> 00:17:10.799 because they've done all the scheduling. So it's 00:17:10.799 --> 00:17:13.480 a really hard transition. And then the counseling 00:17:13.480 --> 00:17:17.019 center, UMaine really takes mental health seriously 00:17:17.019 --> 00:17:20.519 and really values it a lot. So the university 00:17:20.519 --> 00:17:24.119 offers free counseling for students. So that 00:17:24.119 --> 00:17:28.000 means we aren't technically covered by HIPAA. 00:17:28.140 --> 00:17:31.680 However, all of our people are licensed mental 00:17:31.680 --> 00:17:34.579 health providers. So they are because of their 00:17:34.579 --> 00:17:39.079 license. So we have this sort of like extra layer 00:17:39.079 --> 00:17:43.059 of confidentiality which is really confusing 00:17:43.059 --> 00:17:46.180 too yeah interesting right so it makes things 00:17:46.180 --> 00:17:48.859 a little bit complicated um and then parents 00:17:48.859 --> 00:17:51.519 they might release certain information to talk 00:17:51.519 --> 00:17:54.000 to residents life or the student might yeah but 00:17:54.000 --> 00:17:56.420 that doesn't necessarily apply it's not a blank 00:17:56.420 --> 00:17:59.099 to the no everyone yeah it was really confusing 00:17:59.099 --> 00:18:01.529 for both students and parents actually Because 00:18:01.529 --> 00:18:03.809 ultimately the goal is to get it so the student 00:18:03.809 --> 00:18:07.170 is managing everything. So that it's set up for 00:18:07.170 --> 00:18:09.670 the student to manage everything. Regarding that 00:18:09.670 --> 00:18:12.910 transition, how long on average would you say 00:18:12.910 --> 00:18:15.589 like the learning curve is for like your average 00:18:15.589 --> 00:18:17.950 freshman? Like how long does it take for them 00:18:17.950 --> 00:18:21.289 to be like, oh, it's time for me to start doing 00:18:21.289 --> 00:18:23.390 yours rather than like expecting their parent 00:18:23.390 --> 00:18:27.910 to. There's so many variables. It depends. The 00:18:27.910 --> 00:18:29.549 big thing is depends on whether or not their 00:18:29.549 --> 00:18:31.289 parents went to college because I think that 00:18:31.289 --> 00:18:35.309 is a huge predictor of whether or not or how 00:18:35.309 --> 00:18:37.609 someone's going to navigate the waters of college 00:18:37.609 --> 00:18:39.509 if they've got someone in their back pocket who's 00:18:39.509 --> 00:18:42.450 recently. experienced the same thing yeah 100 00:18:42.450 --> 00:18:44.309 % no I forgot the rest of your question I'll 00:18:44.309 --> 00:18:47.650 be completely honest uh I mean just broadly like 00:18:47.650 --> 00:18:50.210 um how long does that transition take and like 00:18:50.210 --> 00:18:51.849 what would you say are the transitionary steps 00:18:51.849 --> 00:18:53.970 as an additional layer right do you want some 00:18:53.970 --> 00:19:00.019 paper yeah I'm sorry I mean, it's different for 00:19:00.019 --> 00:19:02.400 everyone. There are a lot of our students who 00:19:02.400 --> 00:19:05.339 have never faced adversity. They've never had 00:19:05.339 --> 00:19:07.440 to do anything independently. And I think for 00:19:07.440 --> 00:19:11.160 those students, it's a harder learning curve 00:19:11.160 --> 00:19:14.019 than some of our students are coming. And I'll 00:19:14.019 --> 00:19:16.720 talk about maybe students who have moved a lot 00:19:16.720 --> 00:19:20.000 or they're coming from families that have a lot 00:19:20.000 --> 00:19:21.880 of kids in the family, you know, so they've got 00:19:21.880 --> 00:19:24.200 some experience taking care of other people. 00:19:24.440 --> 00:19:28.500 It's all very different. what is developing is 00:19:28.500 --> 00:19:32.160 agency and independence and it is a spectrum 00:19:32.160 --> 00:19:36.559 for everyone like yeah the more opportunity now 00:19:36.559 --> 00:19:39.460 you can take to put yourself in scenarios where 00:19:39.460 --> 00:19:41.440 you have to exercise critical thinking on your 00:19:41.440 --> 00:19:46.359 own or logistics or schedule yeah like executive 00:19:46.359 --> 00:19:49.940 functioning stuff like that like flexing those 00:19:49.940 --> 00:19:51.740 skills now while you still have the safety net 00:19:51.740 --> 00:19:53.880 of your support network here then it makes it 00:19:53.880 --> 00:19:55.819 a little bit easier as you get there i can picture 00:19:55.819 --> 00:19:58.200 your mom like with a glass up against the wall 00:19:58.200 --> 00:20:00.740 and she's feeding us make sure someone knows 00:20:00.740 --> 00:20:05.490 yeah yeah now you and i talk and i know you talk 00:20:05.490 --> 00:20:07.769 with your staff all the time about just brain 00:20:07.769 --> 00:20:12.170 development and this the science of what is it 00:20:12.170 --> 00:20:15.609 24 -ish years old before brains are fully developed 00:20:15.609 --> 00:20:19.650 exactly 26. so which is the undergraduate experience 00:20:19.650 --> 00:20:22.569 and like for you and i some of our graduate experience 00:20:22.569 --> 00:20:25.410 as well so what are you seeing at the counseling 00:20:25.410 --> 00:20:28.769 center around maybe some of the struggles with 00:20:28.769 --> 00:20:32.259 the transition because i i know you see The mental 00:20:32.259 --> 00:20:36.160 health issues, depression, anxiety, some other 00:20:36.160 --> 00:20:39.519 mood disorder stuff, but the adjustment pieces. 00:20:40.140 --> 00:20:43.380 Yeah, we end up seeing a lot. We see a lot of 00:20:43.380 --> 00:20:45.180 first -year students throughout their entire 00:20:45.180 --> 00:20:49.180 first year. Fall is really busy for us with our 00:20:49.180 --> 00:20:53.640 first years. And we see students who just simply 00:20:53.640 --> 00:21:00.049 don't know or recognize that no one... no one's 00:21:00.049 --> 00:21:02.170 really paying attention to them in the same way 00:21:02.170 --> 00:21:03.849 that they did in high school, right? So if they 00:21:03.849 --> 00:21:07.089 don't go to class, it's not like the principal's 00:21:07.089 --> 00:21:10.210 going to call the mom and say like, oh, your 00:21:10.210 --> 00:21:12.869 students aren't going to class. Or mom can look 00:21:12.869 --> 00:21:14.490 at power school. Or mom can look at power school. 00:21:14.549 --> 00:21:17.690 So we see a lot of that. We see a lot of students 00:21:17.690 --> 00:21:21.569 who've never been by themselves before. So they're 00:21:21.569 --> 00:21:24.549 just so anxious because now here they are in 00:21:24.549 --> 00:21:27.789 a new environment. They're in a new res hall, 00:21:28.170 --> 00:21:30.490 you know, they're with new people, but they're 00:21:30.490 --> 00:21:32.630 also by themselves. So they have to navigate 00:21:32.630 --> 00:21:36.210 all that alone. So the level of anxiety just 00:21:36.210 --> 00:21:39.589 ramps up dramatically. I mean, I think what I 00:21:39.589 --> 00:21:42.190 know as well, and as somebody, I teach a lot 00:21:42.190 --> 00:21:46.750 of undergrad juniors and seniors, but there is... 00:21:46.960 --> 00:21:49.839 for a lot of these students, miles of difference 00:21:49.839 --> 00:21:52.839 from high school academics and expectations to 00:21:52.839 --> 00:21:55.279 even first year. And I know you've done a ton 00:21:55.279 --> 00:21:59.420 of college -loving. Yeah, I'm taking five APs 00:21:59.420 --> 00:22:05.359 right now, but I think... But your age group 00:22:05.359 --> 00:22:10.039 in general, like that transition of high school 00:22:10.039 --> 00:22:13.130 homework... and paper writing to college yeah 00:22:13.130 --> 00:22:16.470 i i think i am very concerned about that because 00:22:16.470 --> 00:22:20.029 right now i am just like coasting i think like 00:22:20.029 --> 00:22:24.430 high school is Very few expectations. I'm not 00:22:24.430 --> 00:22:28.069 putting in any effort. For all of Soren's teachers 00:22:28.069 --> 00:22:33.190 listening. No, I promise for all my teachers, 00:22:33.309 --> 00:22:36.369 I am trying my darndest at every moment I can. 00:22:36.529 --> 00:22:40.670 But academics have often come easier for you 00:22:40.670 --> 00:22:43.470 for a long time. yeah that's just the case um 00:22:43.470 --> 00:22:46.750 and i am concerned about uh college especially 00:22:46.750 --> 00:22:48.930 because i'm going to be attending a relatively 00:22:48.930 --> 00:22:52.650 prestigious institution and i can't even at the 00:22:52.650 --> 00:22:55.490 moment like fathom what the requirements will 00:22:55.490 --> 00:22:59.650 be and like what i'll be doing yeah um so that'll 00:22:59.650 --> 00:23:02.849 be a really interesting thing that i have to 00:23:02.849 --> 00:23:05.529 adapt to both like a different structure of academics 00:23:05.529 --> 00:23:08.609 and like different subject matter yeah um yeah 00:23:08.609 --> 00:23:13.980 so i i think it will be very jarring um as i 00:23:13.980 --> 00:23:17.000 think we've uh outlined well and there's the 00:23:17.000 --> 00:23:19.900 piece like i remember in in our resident director 00:23:19.900 --> 00:23:24.660 days um which you know full disclosure the day 00:23:24.660 --> 00:23:29.200 i moved into my dorm in august of 99 was the 00:23:29.200 --> 00:23:31.359 first time i had ever lived on a campus because 00:23:31.359 --> 00:23:34.549 i grew up where I grew up was just nearby. So 00:23:34.549 --> 00:23:38.650 I lived at home. So that first day of moving 00:23:38.650 --> 00:23:41.710 into, like I was experiencing college life at 00:23:41.710 --> 00:23:45.690 the same time, my 18 year old freshman students 00:23:45.690 --> 00:23:49.529 were experiencing that. And it is a complete, 00:23:49.630 --> 00:23:53.619 like it's a, it's a. multi -month sleepover party, 00:23:53.700 --> 00:23:57.400 right? It's a very, very, very, very complicated 00:23:57.400 --> 00:24:00.359 social environment, a residence hall. We talk 00:24:00.359 --> 00:24:02.619 about it a lot. We've got an increasing number 00:24:02.619 --> 00:24:06.000 of students coming to college who are on the 00:24:06.000 --> 00:24:09.000 spectrum and who are not picking up social cues 00:24:09.000 --> 00:24:11.359 as easily as other people. And it's difficult 00:24:11.359 --> 00:24:14.319 to succeed in that kind of social environment 00:24:14.319 --> 00:24:17.920 with the best recognition of all social cues, 00:24:18.119 --> 00:24:21.779 but it can be incredibly difficult. you know 00:24:21.779 --> 00:24:26.359 because there are no moms and dads yeah people 00:24:26.359 --> 00:24:28.700 to help translate what's happening. Yeah, like 00:24:28.700 --> 00:24:31.180 Ed Tech's, I think, wrote the special. There's 00:24:31.180 --> 00:24:33.880 none of that. You're doing it yourself. Yeah. 00:24:34.319 --> 00:24:37.619 And it's the formation of an entirely new social 00:24:37.619 --> 00:24:40.619 structure. Like, the vast majority of children 00:24:40.619 --> 00:24:42.460 are coming from a high school that they've been 00:24:42.460 --> 00:24:45.220 attending for four years where they know everybody, 00:24:45.420 --> 00:24:48.579 all the, like, barriers and, like, social connections 00:24:48.579 --> 00:24:51.380 are already outlined. Established. Yeah, yes. 00:24:51.400 --> 00:24:53.380 Well, they haven't had to make new friends for 00:24:53.380 --> 00:24:56.730 a decade. Yeah. while they've never the last 00:24:56.730 --> 00:24:58.890 time they made new friends their parents were 00:24:58.890 --> 00:25:01.390 doing it together out of play yeah right in like 00:25:01.390 --> 00:25:04.509 that that was a really big concern for me especially 00:25:04.509 --> 00:25:07.269 before I had the opportunity to go to Brazil 00:25:07.269 --> 00:25:09.049 for a month and make a bunch of friends there 00:25:09.049 --> 00:25:12.410 but I was extremely concerned because I've realistically 00:25:12.410 --> 00:25:15.410 not made like new good friends for three years 00:25:15.410 --> 00:25:19.450 um outside of Brazil obviously and I was super 00:25:19.450 --> 00:25:23.250 nervous because my friend group is very abnormal. 00:25:23.430 --> 00:25:26.230 We're very unique individuals. So I was very 00:25:26.230 --> 00:25:28.150 concerned about my social compatibility with 00:25:28.150 --> 00:25:31.130 others and whether the idiosyncrasies of my current 00:25:31.130 --> 00:25:33.809 relationships will result in a greater barrier 00:25:33.809 --> 00:25:38.549 of entry to interacting with others. So I think 00:25:38.549 --> 00:25:41.690 having been used to the high school environment 00:25:41.690 --> 00:25:45.250 is going to make the transition even more pronounced 00:25:45.250 --> 00:25:49.269 than if someone was maybe coming from very limited 00:25:49.269 --> 00:25:55.029 social experience. Well, depending on the school, 00:25:55.230 --> 00:25:56.849 the high school you're coming from too, right? 00:25:56.910 --> 00:25:58.990 So if you're going from a really small, Maine 00:25:58.990 --> 00:26:00.609 has a lot of small high schools. So if you're 00:26:00.609 --> 00:26:03.009 going from a really small high school where maybe 00:26:03.009 --> 00:26:06.890 your graduating class is under 100 to a state 00:26:06.890 --> 00:26:10.359 institution like UMaine, there's... almost 12 00:26:10.359 --> 00:26:13.319 ,000 students. That's a huge difference too. 00:26:13.559 --> 00:26:17.480 Right. So how do you find your people with that 00:26:17.480 --> 00:26:20.440 kind of difference? I still remember now thinking 00:26:20.440 --> 00:26:24.819 as a commuter student, that first day walking 00:26:24.819 --> 00:26:30.900 into Psych 101, I froze. I remember it so clearly. 00:26:30.960 --> 00:26:35.759 I froze at the door to see a stadium. That many 00:26:35.759 --> 00:26:39.779 students? Like there was... 400 seats in this 00:26:39.779 --> 00:26:45.819 auditorium. And I was in 12 people English seminars. 00:26:46.180 --> 00:26:54.119 It took every ounce of my being to not spin and 00:26:54.119 --> 00:26:57.039 walk. Well, I think that's, like, the thing is, 00:26:57.099 --> 00:27:00.440 it's confidence. Which I hadn't. Right. If you 00:27:00.440 --> 00:27:04.559 don't have it, fake it. Because everyone who's 00:27:04.559 --> 00:27:06.059 on a college campus, I see it. I'm like, when 00:27:06.059 --> 00:27:08.339 they all move on that first day that they all 00:27:08.339 --> 00:27:10.599 move on, how many people come up to me and tell 00:27:10.599 --> 00:27:12.859 me that they just met their best friend? Yep. 00:27:12.940 --> 00:27:14.579 Yeah. I show my best friends to my roommate. 00:27:14.660 --> 00:27:16.519 I'm like, you met that potential serial killer 00:27:16.519 --> 00:27:19.539 10 minutes. Yeah. Tell me that's your best friend. 00:27:19.579 --> 00:27:22.980 I'm like, no. A lot of students come assuming 00:27:22.980 --> 00:27:26.119 that everyone already has best friends there. 00:27:26.259 --> 00:27:28.769 Yeah. Which is not true. And nobody, everyone 00:27:28.769 --> 00:27:31.569 who's coming in knows no one. They know a couple 00:27:31.569 --> 00:27:33.890 people. They know the former version of them. 00:27:33.950 --> 00:27:36.250 They don't know the new version. So you're all 00:27:36.250 --> 00:27:39.910 starting on the same playing field. What matters 00:27:39.910 --> 00:27:42.710 is the confidence to take a step outside of your 00:27:42.710 --> 00:27:45.250 residence hall, to take a step to join a club 00:27:45.250 --> 00:27:46.950 that maybe you didn't think that you were interested 00:27:46.950 --> 00:27:49.069 in just because it's interesting. You know what 00:27:49.069 --> 00:27:51.910 I mean? It's all about confidence. It doesn't 00:27:51.910 --> 00:27:56.809 have to be organic. Just getting out of your 00:27:56.809 --> 00:27:59.990 room. will get you the engagement and the involvement 00:27:59.990 --> 00:28:02.430 that will build that into confidence. But then 00:28:02.430 --> 00:28:04.670 that's what parents can do too, right? To be 00:28:04.670 --> 00:28:06.670 helpful with that transition is to encourage 00:28:06.670 --> 00:28:10.559 their student. to, like, join a club. Don't come 00:28:10.559 --> 00:28:14.799 home every weekend. Like, stay on campus. We 00:28:14.799 --> 00:28:17.400 did, like, the order of operations for if you 00:28:17.400 --> 00:28:20.140 have a problem as a student, the first step is 00:28:20.140 --> 00:28:26.819 not call mom. No, no, no. Because back in high 00:28:26.819 --> 00:28:28.880 school, you run into an issue, you're like, ba 00:28:28.880 --> 00:28:31.440 -bam, call mom. And it reinforces and keeps them. 00:28:31.440 --> 00:28:34.619 Mom's anticipating those calls, right? And we're 00:28:34.619 --> 00:28:37.059 like, no, you run into a problem, run through 00:28:37.059 --> 00:28:39.529 your... resources that you have already and when 00:28:39.529 --> 00:28:42.329 you're on a college campus it's lousy with resources 00:28:42.329 --> 00:28:44.789 everyone's throwing resources at you it's up 00:28:44.789 --> 00:28:46.970 to you to catalog them and then pull them out 00:28:46.970 --> 00:28:49.369 when you need them you know they're everywhere 00:28:49.369 --> 00:28:51.829 yeah yeah that's a great point i remember that 00:28:51.829 --> 00:28:53.910 too like every week we were getting things to 00:28:53.910 --> 00:28:57.029 hang up on bulletin boards and bringing in speakers 00:28:57.029 --> 00:28:59.430 yeah it was the honor of the confidence to leave 00:28:59.430 --> 00:29:02.740 your room none of that matters yeah Do you see 00:29:02.740 --> 00:29:04.839 a lot with your first, like, do you see some 00:29:04.839 --> 00:29:07.619 first years that are just frozen? Totally. They 00:29:07.619 --> 00:29:11.680 just can't come out. Yeah, completely frozen. 00:29:14.640 --> 00:29:16.680 UMaine has this great app. It's called Campus 00:29:16.680 --> 00:29:20.099 Groups, right? So sometimes, frankly... We're 00:29:20.099 --> 00:29:22.720 doing therapy, yes, obviously, but we're also 00:29:22.720 --> 00:29:25.279 saying, hey, let's pull out your phone. Let's 00:29:25.279 --> 00:29:28.140 help you download Campus Group. Showing them 00:29:28.140 --> 00:29:31.299 how to use the resources, too, as an intervention. 00:29:31.960 --> 00:29:34.519 Because we do see students that come to us, and 00:29:34.519 --> 00:29:36.599 they're sad, they're depressed, they're lonely. 00:29:37.740 --> 00:29:41.220 And really, they haven't found the confidence, 00:29:41.420 --> 00:29:43.240 or they haven't even been able to fake the confidence 00:29:43.240 --> 00:29:47.390 to just go out and... take that first step. Join 00:29:47.390 --> 00:29:51.809 the horse club. Yeah. Given that college campuses 00:29:51.809 --> 00:29:55.670 are so flush with opportunity, do you guys find 00:29:55.670 --> 00:29:58.470 that there are a lot of students having a similar 00:29:58.470 --> 00:30:01.529 experience almost to walking into a restaurant 00:30:01.529 --> 00:30:05.490 where the menu is 50 pages long? There are simply 00:30:05.490 --> 00:30:09.069 too many options that are frozen staring at this 00:30:09.069 --> 00:30:12.150 menu, not wanting to order anything. We run into 00:30:12.150 --> 00:30:14.210 that at the beginning of the year. We'll do an 00:30:14.210 --> 00:30:17.440 involvement fair where we have All of our 200 00:30:17.440 --> 00:30:20.420 and whatever groups, student groups on campus 00:30:20.420 --> 00:30:22.819 will table. I mean, there's just people, wall 00:30:22.819 --> 00:30:25.680 -to -wall people. And yes, it looks very overwhelming, 00:30:25.799 --> 00:30:27.339 but we still encourage people to go out there. 00:30:27.500 --> 00:30:30.279 And we're like, sign up for every single club. 00:30:31.720 --> 00:30:33.640 begins to pique your interest because all you're 00:30:33.640 --> 00:30:36.079 doing is opening the door for an email to come. 00:30:36.240 --> 00:30:38.220 You know, you're not signing your life away. 00:30:38.299 --> 00:30:40.720 I think that anxiety is if I sign up for this 00:30:40.720 --> 00:30:42.720 club, I'm going to graduate and I'm going to 00:30:42.720 --> 00:30:47.539 have to go into the field of horses. It's just 00:30:47.539 --> 00:30:53.500 like get out of your room, get into some clubs 00:30:53.500 --> 00:30:55.380 and stuff. You're not married to everything, 00:30:55.559 --> 00:30:58.299 but like trying all these different things. Our 00:30:58.299 --> 00:31:00.980 best club is Dungeons and Dragons. It's like 00:31:00.980 --> 00:31:02.779 our biggest club. And that's where I recommend 00:31:02.779 --> 00:31:04.299 people go. And they're like, I don't have any 00:31:04.299 --> 00:31:06.539 friends. I don't know who to be friends with. 00:31:06.599 --> 00:31:08.380 I don't know what to do. And these people have 00:31:08.380 --> 00:31:10.339 a great community. And I have no idea what they're 00:31:10.339 --> 00:31:13.160 doing. And that is the key word that you just 00:31:13.160 --> 00:31:16.019 said, community, right? That encouragement to 00:31:16.019 --> 00:31:20.640 get out, to meet people, to find your group. 00:31:21.119 --> 00:31:24.220 Yeah, to start building community. Because as 00:31:24.220 --> 00:31:28.670 you both said, And you, your community hasn't 00:31:28.670 --> 00:31:32.210 changed for years. Yeah. And so, yeah, confidence 00:31:32.210 --> 00:31:36.369 to get out and find and explore and just meet 00:31:36.369 --> 00:31:41.930 your next community. Yeah. Yeah. Try it on. How 00:31:41.930 --> 00:31:46.569 much of, I think, one of the other just narratives 00:31:46.569 --> 00:31:50.289 around moving into college life, and a lot of 00:31:50.289 --> 00:31:53.309 families worry about this, is the party stuff, 00:31:53.470 --> 00:31:57.690 right? That doesn't happen at college. There's 00:31:57.690 --> 00:32:01.369 no parties at college. A lot of navigating first 00:32:01.369 --> 00:32:04.450 year is navigating some of the temptations and 00:32:04.450 --> 00:32:06.769 finding community. You might have some false 00:32:06.769 --> 00:32:10.470 starts. But matter of fact, how much of an issue 00:32:10.470 --> 00:32:14.240 is substance use? You and I have completely different 00:32:14.240 --> 00:32:17.099 views on this. Well, and probably because you 00:32:17.099 --> 00:32:20.200 see or are seeing folks where that has become 00:32:20.200 --> 00:32:23.019 an issue. Major problem. You're normalizing it 00:32:23.019 --> 00:32:24.460 a bit more because it's a forward transition. 00:32:24.740 --> 00:32:28.309 Yeah, we're... seeing it as a reality of the 00:32:28.309 --> 00:32:30.769 transition and trying to get our arms around 00:32:30.769 --> 00:32:34.230 it so that in a way we're reducing the harm and 00:32:34.230 --> 00:32:37.269 the risk to the individuals and to the community. 00:32:37.390 --> 00:32:44.269 I get it. I think especially in environments 00:32:44.269 --> 00:32:48.190 like high school and as you transition in to 00:32:48.190 --> 00:32:51.329 college, substance use and partying can function 00:32:51.329 --> 00:32:56.259 as a real social lubricant. I think it's to some 00:32:56.259 --> 00:32:59.539 extent, very important in order to create communities. 00:33:00.480 --> 00:33:02.619 It's a rite of passage. Yeah, yeah. I almost 00:33:02.619 --> 00:33:05.660 feel like. I think the first time you experience 00:33:05.660 --> 00:33:09.000 or experiment is drugs, alcohol, whatever, should 00:33:09.000 --> 00:33:11.799 not be in college, though. Right. No, I agree. 00:33:11.799 --> 00:33:13.619 And that's something I've never been able to 00:33:13.619 --> 00:33:17.460 say before. Seeing just some orientation or something, 00:33:17.599 --> 00:33:21.650 I can't say it. But listen, parents need. to 00:33:21.650 --> 00:33:25.170 show their kids how to responsibly consume substances 00:33:25.170 --> 00:33:29.970 before they come to us and have no idea where 00:33:29.970 --> 00:33:32.190 to put the brakes on. You know what I mean? You 00:33:32.190 --> 00:33:35.009 have to know what is your limit, not what is 00:33:35.009 --> 00:33:37.990 the internet's limit, but what is your limit? 00:33:38.069 --> 00:33:41.809 How do you respond to this? I think it's crucially 00:33:41.809 --> 00:33:44.650 important to do that ahead of time so that those 00:33:44.650 --> 00:33:47.579 experiments that are happening on... campus where 00:33:47.579 --> 00:33:49.660 the anxieties are heightened and people are looking 00:33:49.660 --> 00:33:52.420 for ways to you know socialize a little bit more 00:33:52.420 --> 00:33:55.759 freely it can get really dangerous yeah yeah 00:33:55.759 --> 00:33:58.819 well some of that too is like just parents talking 00:33:58.819 --> 00:34:02.579 like providing some basic education too right 00:34:02.579 --> 00:34:05.279 one of the things that um i'm gonna out my nephew 00:34:05.279 --> 00:34:08.059 here who's in college I won't say his name or 00:34:08.059 --> 00:34:09.780 where he goes to college, but I'm going to out 00:34:09.780 --> 00:34:13.539 him here. I was educating him about alcohol by 00:34:13.539 --> 00:34:16.960 volume. Soren, do you know what that means? Yeah, 00:34:17.019 --> 00:34:20.119 it's like the percentage of alcohol in a given 00:34:20.119 --> 00:34:22.340 liquor. Your parents have done a fantastic job. 00:34:22.420 --> 00:34:27.460 Well done. I think Soren educates. I've had the 00:34:27.460 --> 00:34:32.690 opportunity to. extensively experiment with substances. 00:34:33.070 --> 00:34:36.269 Nicely done. Nicely done. Which I'm feeling so, 00:34:36.389 --> 00:34:38.869 so about. But I am glad that I am well aware 00:34:38.869 --> 00:34:41.250 of my boundaries and stuff. Yeah. Yes. There's 00:34:41.250 --> 00:34:43.409 so many students that come to college and they 00:34:43.409 --> 00:34:47.590 don't understand that a shot of vodka, it's smaller. 00:34:47.829 --> 00:34:50.989 A Poland spring bottle of water. Yeah, like that's... 00:34:51.289 --> 00:34:53.369 that has more alcohol than your Natty Light. 00:34:53.510 --> 00:34:57.170 Even though the Natty Light is bigger, it's not 00:34:57.170 --> 00:35:01.550 the same. And they don't understand that. And 00:35:01.550 --> 00:35:04.800 some of that is just like the 101. Yeah. transition 00:35:04.800 --> 00:35:07.300 style. You know what I love? I love a Borg, right? 00:35:07.400 --> 00:35:09.679 The blackout rose. Yeah, when you first got this. 00:35:10.480 --> 00:35:14.400 I'll write this down. It's a gallon, like a really 00:35:14.400 --> 00:35:18.119 great gallon jug. Yeah. That they mix alcohol, 00:35:18.260 --> 00:35:20.679 water, and usually like an electrolyte of Neo 00:35:20.679 --> 00:35:23.099 or something. Yeah. Then they name the Borg, 00:35:23.099 --> 00:35:25.039 like Lizzy Borg, yeah, or something like that, 00:35:25.079 --> 00:35:28.000 right? Have you heard of this? I've indulged 00:35:28.000 --> 00:35:31.340 in this. It is not a recipe for a fun evening. 00:35:31.480 --> 00:35:34.179 It's a recipe for a fucking disaster. Hear me 00:35:34.179 --> 00:35:37.880 out. Hear me out. You're making your own Borg, 00:35:37.920 --> 00:35:40.579 right? That's my Borg. I brought my Borg. You 00:35:40.579 --> 00:35:42.539 don't know if it has alcohol in it. You don't 00:35:42.539 --> 00:35:45.300 know what it has in it, right? It's my Borg. 00:35:45.320 --> 00:35:47.739 I have a cap on it. So that's some harm reduction. 00:35:48.099 --> 00:35:49.619 Yes, it is. That's not a huge drinker. Yes, it 00:35:49.619 --> 00:35:51.639 is. Because I'm an idiot sober soul. Why do I 00:35:51.639 --> 00:35:55.300 need to really... I'm pretty happy sober. Right. 00:35:55.360 --> 00:35:58.480 But... It may be that the pressure to drink around 00:35:58.480 --> 00:36:00.940 my peers is so great that I want to appear as 00:36:00.940 --> 00:36:05.619 though I'm drinking. And that is my Borg. And 00:36:05.619 --> 00:36:08.409 then you own. That's my part. That's right. Right. 00:36:08.670 --> 00:36:09.829 It's the whole thing. It's what I've been doing 00:36:09.829 --> 00:36:11.909 the whole night. And I love, well, who's going 00:36:11.909 --> 00:36:13.489 to put anything in this? Right. The harm reduction. 00:36:13.769 --> 00:36:16.050 Exactly. And you don't have to sip off mine. 00:36:16.210 --> 00:36:18.429 No. Don't touch it. Right, right, right. You 00:36:18.429 --> 00:36:23.090 will find out it is like all ginger ale. I love 00:36:23.090 --> 00:36:25.750 that. See, I love getting to this place of like, 00:36:25.829 --> 00:36:29.329 what are some, what's advice? I'm not loving, 00:36:29.449 --> 00:36:31.550 like, but what are some recommendations? What 00:36:31.550 --> 00:36:34.699 are some? Tips and tricks. Yeah, tips and tricks, 00:36:34.760 --> 00:36:37.900 both for families to be preparing themselves. 00:36:38.039 --> 00:36:40.380 I think there's some shock that come for the 00:36:40.380 --> 00:36:42.940 parents as well. Oh, yeah. But what are some, 00:36:42.940 --> 00:36:46.900 for folks listening, what are some tips and tricks 00:36:46.900 --> 00:36:50.980 for the student and for the parents to make that 00:36:50.980 --> 00:36:54.500 transition go as successfully as possible? And 00:36:54.500 --> 00:36:57.980 shifting from the substance use. Yeah. Because 00:36:57.980 --> 00:37:04.820 we think of... student soren's age as like digital 00:37:04.820 --> 00:37:08.000 natives right like they got the technology they 00:37:08.000 --> 00:37:11.219 know what they're doing no they don't yeah they 00:37:11.219 --> 00:37:13.719 have the technology for like social media yeah 00:37:13.719 --> 00:37:17.179 but other than that no so we at the counseling 00:37:17.179 --> 00:37:19.480 center will in fact say to students like hey 00:37:19.480 --> 00:37:23.320 your next appointment is thursday at four take 00:37:23.320 --> 00:37:25.980 your phone out have you ever put in an appointment 00:37:25.980 --> 00:37:28.300 in your own personal phone because who's managing 00:37:28.300 --> 00:37:32.019 their appointments right mom and dad yeah So 00:37:32.019 --> 00:37:34.719 let me show you how to use your calendar app. 00:37:34.880 --> 00:37:38.739 Yeah. Reminders. And how do you set the alert? 00:37:38.840 --> 00:37:41.639 And I cannot tell you nine times out of ten a 00:37:41.639 --> 00:37:42.980 student will be like, oh, I didn't know that. 00:37:43.340 --> 00:37:44.960 That is a great advice. Well, why would they? 00:37:45.159 --> 00:37:47.320 No, because they haven't had to flex those skills. 00:37:47.500 --> 00:37:49.179 They haven't had to use the skills. That's great 00:37:49.179 --> 00:37:52.219 advice. Same with whatever the academic app is. 00:37:52.440 --> 00:37:55.920 Yeah. Like we use Brightspace, right? So you 00:37:55.920 --> 00:37:59.630 can download Brightspace on your phone. and then 00:37:59.630 --> 00:38:02.469 look at it right because that's how you know 00:38:02.469 --> 00:38:04.750 what is coming up on your syllabus because guess 00:38:04.750 --> 00:38:07.050 what and you can do alerts on your professor's 00:38:07.050 --> 00:38:09.489 not going to tell you yeah you have an assignment 00:38:09.489 --> 00:38:11.190 to do next week the professor's not reminding 00:38:11.190 --> 00:38:13.329 you because they gave you a syllabus at the beginning 00:38:13.329 --> 00:38:17.030 of the semester that's on you yeah yeah Glasgow 00:38:17.030 --> 00:38:20.389 has a similar app uh and actually um this is 00:38:20.389 --> 00:38:22.829 very specific to me so not necessarily broadly 00:38:22.829 --> 00:38:26.119 applicable but Because I'm operating on a student 00:38:26.119 --> 00:38:28.440 visa, I will have to check in to every single 00:38:28.440 --> 00:38:31.099 one of my classes to ensure that I'm meeting 00:38:31.099 --> 00:38:33.400 the requirements of my visa. So you will physically 00:38:33.400 --> 00:38:36.940 be there to go to class? Yeah. I think that that 00:38:36.940 --> 00:38:39.099 would be great. That's really important because 00:38:39.099 --> 00:38:40.579 I was going to say, another important thing is 00:38:40.579 --> 00:38:42.699 going to class. Just go to class. Right, yeah. 00:38:42.820 --> 00:38:44.340 Because that's something without somebody waking 00:38:44.340 --> 00:38:46.000 you up and being like, it's time to go to class. 00:38:46.159 --> 00:38:48.599 It can be really hard to make yourself go to 00:38:48.599 --> 00:38:51.789 class. Really hard. We used to show the students 00:38:51.789 --> 00:38:54.630 in a certain number of Chipotle burritos how 00:38:54.630 --> 00:38:57.570 many burritos each class cost. So we're like, 00:38:57.610 --> 00:38:59.929 we didn't skip it, but it's like 35 burritos. 00:39:00.010 --> 00:39:03.150 Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's great. That's great. 00:39:03.210 --> 00:39:07.389 Yeah, I remember the first semester, the students 00:39:07.389 --> 00:39:10.429 trudging out the door at 7 .45 for their 8 a 00:39:10.429 --> 00:39:13.849 .m. classes. And the very next semester. Dead 00:39:13.849 --> 00:39:18.369 quiet. Everyone realized, I'm scheduling eating. 00:39:19.210 --> 00:39:22.849 Yeah, everyone transitions out. So my, as a resident 00:39:22.849 --> 00:39:25.409 director, one of my favorite times of the day 00:39:25.409 --> 00:39:29.670 was from like 7 to 8. It is beautiful, quiet, 00:39:29.989 --> 00:39:32.510 control your coffee, your tea, you know, you're 00:39:32.510 --> 00:39:35.269 trudging. Especially responsible ones getting 00:39:35.269 --> 00:39:39.969 ready to do some laundry. Yeah, I love it. Doing 00:39:39.969 --> 00:39:48.150 less soap. So do you have any final questions 00:39:48.150 --> 00:39:54.489 for Andy or Ange? I call this lightning round 00:39:54.489 --> 00:39:56.690 of stump the therapist. Anytime I present to 00:39:56.690 --> 00:40:00.150 classes at the university, I say, last questions 00:40:00.150 --> 00:40:03.389 are stump the therapist. You can try to do stumpers. 00:40:04.760 --> 00:40:08.059 My conspiracy theories about chickens. Conspiracy 00:40:08.059 --> 00:40:11.300 theories? I didn't realize that chickens were 00:40:11.300 --> 00:40:17.400 that enigmatic. By Jove, I'm trying to think, 00:40:17.500 --> 00:40:24.280 and I am just wondering how, obviously it is 00:40:24.280 --> 00:40:27.280 essential that students have a positive social 00:40:27.280 --> 00:40:33.230 milieu, right? But how contingent is the... positivity 00:40:33.230 --> 00:40:36.690 of their milieu on their academic success and 00:40:36.690 --> 00:40:38.630 like what's their relationship there? Great question. 00:40:38.909 --> 00:40:43.110 I think it's different for everyone. And it's 00:40:43.110 --> 00:40:44.829 different for everyone. As somebody who's really 00:40:44.829 --> 00:40:49.829 jazzed by external, you know, relationships and 00:40:49.829 --> 00:40:51.929 everything might depend on that and might need 00:40:51.929 --> 00:40:55.150 people to be around them and have like a posse 00:40:55.150 --> 00:40:58.309 in order to, you know, to get the charge out 00:40:58.309 --> 00:40:59.710 of it. And then there's other people who are 00:40:59.710 --> 00:41:03.289 very content. Being in college or university 00:41:03.289 --> 00:41:05.389 with the anonymity that comes with being around 00:41:05.389 --> 00:41:08.010 so many people that that's actually very comforting 00:41:08.010 --> 00:41:10.409 for them So I think you kind of have to try it 00:41:10.409 --> 00:41:13.210 out. Like yeah, see what works for you and know 00:41:13.210 --> 00:41:18.090 yourself to be there. Yeah so I I've asked numerous 00:41:18.090 --> 00:41:21.510 questions and I'm getting like responses that 00:41:21.510 --> 00:41:23.750 are like well, it's very dependent on the individual 00:41:23.750 --> 00:41:26.929 and I totally understand how that's the case 00:41:26.929 --> 00:41:31.699 and I see the validity of that. But how do you 00:41:31.699 --> 00:41:34.960 two as individuals who are working to improve 00:41:34.960 --> 00:41:39.739 the student experience manage the individuality 00:41:39.739 --> 00:41:43.519 and how essential individualized care is when 00:41:43.519 --> 00:41:46.679 you're operating with a student body that is 00:41:46.679 --> 00:41:51.559 thousands of individuals? That's a really good 00:41:51.559 --> 00:41:56.960 question. I love people. I love people. I love 00:41:56.960 --> 00:42:00.019 weird people. I love their weird problems. I 00:42:00.019 --> 00:42:02.199 love the weird ways that they think about things. 00:42:02.320 --> 00:42:04.519 I love ideas. I love all of it. So I'm very happy, 00:42:04.659 --> 00:42:08.039 and it's probably annoying, to get in with one 00:42:08.039 --> 00:42:10.099 person and find out what makes them tick. Why 00:42:10.099 --> 00:42:12.000 are we doing this? And then see if I were them, 00:42:12.079 --> 00:42:14.719 what would I do differently? So I like to do 00:42:14.719 --> 00:42:18.800 that. Yeah. What I will say, what I think I know 00:42:18.800 --> 00:42:23.289 or remember, about resident life is that you 00:42:23.289 --> 00:42:26.989 build a team right it's not you have multiple 00:42:26.989 --> 00:42:29.969 staff who are supervising multiple staff when 00:42:29.969 --> 00:42:32.829 there's a whole hierarchy of support and you 00:42:32.829 --> 00:42:35.750 do a ton of training we do a lot of training 00:42:35.750 --> 00:42:40.150 it's all on like how to connect with the student 00:42:40.150 --> 00:42:42.289 that's in front of you that's the first thing 00:42:42.289 --> 00:42:45.269 just connect with them and then if there's a 00:42:45.269 --> 00:42:48.030 problem assess the problem and make an appropriate 00:42:48.030 --> 00:42:51.019 referral but we're just like big siblings maybe 00:42:51.019 --> 00:42:54.559 that are in like a hall and without a lot of 00:42:54.559 --> 00:42:56.579 judgment we're just trying to provide guidance 00:42:56.579 --> 00:42:58.820 because it's really hard to be a human yeah it's 00:42:58.820 --> 00:43:00.139 really hard to be a human without your parents 00:43:00.139 --> 00:43:01.840 that you're used to that's right yeah that's 00:43:01.840 --> 00:43:05.320 right um do you guys find that you have the resources 00:43:05.320 --> 00:43:08.139 necessary to service every individual student 00:43:08.139 --> 00:43:10.679 because the other day i was talking after school 00:43:10.679 --> 00:43:14.579 with one of my former teachers who used to be 00:43:14.579 --> 00:43:16.960 a college professor he has his phd in chemistry 00:43:16.960 --> 00:43:21.269 and material sciences And he was complaining 00:43:21.269 --> 00:43:25.230 repeatedly about how stretched thin college faculty 00:43:25.230 --> 00:43:29.730 are and how there isn't that time for sitting 00:43:29.730 --> 00:43:32.829 to think and sitting to interact with other individuals 00:43:32.829 --> 00:43:37.309 anymore. It's really about productivity and optimizing 00:43:37.309 --> 00:43:40.730 for things, at least at the research level. So 00:43:40.730 --> 00:43:43.730 do you guys have a similar experience to that? 00:43:44.300 --> 00:43:47.579 in your student interactions? I don't. Yeah, 00:43:47.719 --> 00:43:50.139 I think that that's the academic side of the 00:43:50.139 --> 00:43:51.820 house where they might get more pressure to be 00:43:51.820 --> 00:43:54.679 productive when it comes to research. But we're 00:43:54.679 --> 00:43:58.539 coming from student life, which is the other 00:43:58.539 --> 00:44:01.500 side of student support. You've got your academic 00:44:01.500 --> 00:44:02.960 support and then your support with everything 00:44:02.960 --> 00:44:07.500 else. No, I don't feel that at all. I feel like 00:44:07.500 --> 00:44:11.659 we're here. I mean, are we stretched thin? Yeah. 00:44:12.039 --> 00:44:16.139 But we're not. in this field because we were 00:44:16.139 --> 00:44:18.639 looking to sit and think. Do you know what I 00:44:18.639 --> 00:44:22.199 mean? Yeah. My husband is a professor and he 00:44:22.199 --> 00:44:26.780 would love to sit and think a lot. No, I couldn't 00:44:26.780 --> 00:44:30.019 do that. We're more go, go, go. Let's have a 00:44:30.019 --> 00:44:33.179 program. Let's get it. Let's do this. Yeah, because 00:44:33.179 --> 00:44:36.199 sitting idle, like that old adage. I started 00:44:36.199 --> 00:44:37.980 thinking about chickens again. All the chickens. 00:44:38.559 --> 00:44:42.500 But you don't want your students to have a ton 00:44:42.500 --> 00:44:46.420 of time. No. We can't have a pretty unstructured 00:44:46.420 --> 00:44:51.059 time. Nothing's that concerted. A lot of breast 00:44:51.059 --> 00:44:53.820 life is programming and keeping things. I said 00:44:53.820 --> 00:44:56.199 it's kind of like a combination between like... 00:44:56.690 --> 00:44:59.789 Like a summer camp? Yep. And a work camp. Yeah. 00:45:01.230 --> 00:45:04.090 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Work camp in the summer? Yeah, 00:45:04.309 --> 00:45:07.269 like sometimes, sometimes there's authority that 00:45:07.269 --> 00:45:09.389 has to, but most of the time we're like, making 00:45:09.389 --> 00:45:11.789 boys scream out like that. Right, right. Just 00:45:11.789 --> 00:45:13.670 keeping it going. And this is also part of our 00:45:13.670 --> 00:45:15.789 community. Oh, and connecting. Taylor's friends 00:45:15.789 --> 00:45:18.449 and the community. Yeah, and then we at the Counseling 00:45:18.449 --> 00:45:24.150 Center too, we maintain appointments daily. twice 00:45:24.150 --> 00:45:26.929 a day in fact yeah for emergencies right for 00:45:26.929 --> 00:45:29.789 an acute need so we constantly like we build 00:45:29.789 --> 00:45:33.110 into our schedule um an opportunity for something 00:45:33.110 --> 00:45:36.210 that comes up yeah um and then to be available 00:45:36.210 --> 00:45:39.230 which is why they say this all the time we never 00:45:39.230 --> 00:45:41.710 have a wait list at our counseling center ever 00:45:41.710 --> 00:45:44.449 ever because people can get in right away because 00:45:44.449 --> 00:45:47.329 we know the need like if a student needs help 00:45:47.329 --> 00:45:50.349 they need it now they don't need it like three 00:45:50.349 --> 00:45:52.670 weeks from now they need it yeah today that's 00:45:52.670 --> 00:45:55.550 right i think that's really awesome actually 00:45:55.550 --> 00:46:00.070 and i think it's a little sad the contrast between 00:46:00.070 --> 00:46:03.429 the ability to like uh receive mental health 00:46:03.429 --> 00:46:05.409 care between like a college student and your 00:46:05.409 --> 00:46:08.409 average like pedestrian that's right that's right 00:46:08.409 --> 00:46:10.409 that's what it's i guess there are some benefits 00:46:10.409 --> 00:46:14.190 of being you know like even though we've talked 00:46:14.190 --> 00:46:16.570 about transition and making those adjustments 00:46:16.570 --> 00:46:19.610 at the end of the day you all do an amazing job 00:46:19.610 --> 00:46:24.360 being available providing that support, and just 00:46:24.360 --> 00:46:27.699 helping, just helping the students succeed. Well, 00:46:27.719 --> 00:46:30.519 and hopefully helping people become whatever 00:46:30.519 --> 00:46:32.139 kind of human they want to become. That's right. 00:46:32.199 --> 00:46:33.539 No, it's whatever kind of human we want them 00:46:33.539 --> 00:46:38.039 to be. Remember the indoctrination? Right, we're 00:46:38.039 --> 00:46:40.420 indoctrinating them. Excuse me. Sorry, my bad. 00:46:40.559 --> 00:46:43.880 This has been an amazing conversation. Any last... 00:46:44.079 --> 00:46:48.099 Words, thoughts, suggestions, advice? I would 00:46:48.099 --> 00:46:50.199 just like to express my gratitude that you guys 00:46:50.199 --> 00:46:52.599 were able to come on and have a conversation 00:46:52.599 --> 00:46:57.480 with us. And I'm so pleased and grateful that 00:46:57.480 --> 00:47:00.960 I get the opportunity to have these discussions 00:47:00.960 --> 00:47:06.659 that many other soon -to -be students will not 00:47:06.659 --> 00:47:09.780 have the ability to have. And I'm glad that we 00:47:09.780 --> 00:47:13.019 were able to produce something that I think has 00:47:13.019 --> 00:47:17.139 some tangible um advice while also offering more 00:47:17.139 --> 00:47:20.340 of a viewpoint perspective on what's occurring 00:47:20.340 --> 00:47:24.739 yeah yeah yeah any last words thank you so much 00:47:24.739 --> 00:47:26.760 thanks for having us it's been really fun i love 00:47:26.760 --> 00:47:33.500 having the conversation well i'll listen all 00:47:33.500 --> 00:47:38.599 day yes uh thanks so much to our audience uh 00:47:38.599 --> 00:47:42.579 for listening Well, we'll see you next week. 00:47:42.760 --> 00:47:44.820 Bye, y 'all. I've been Chris McLaughlin. I've 00:47:44.820 --> 00:47:47.000 been Soren Peterson. See you next week. This 00:47:47.000 --> 00:47:49.300 has been the Inspired Insights Podcast. Bye. 00:47:49.460 --> 00:47:54.260 Bye. The Inspired Insights Podcast has been brought 00:47:54.260 --> 00:47:57.400 to you by Inspired Consulting Group, LLC. Edited 00:47:57.400 --> 00:48:00.159 and produced by Amanda Seidel and Derek Carter. 00:48:00.500 --> 00:48:02.840 Marketing support for the Inspired Insights Podcast 00:48:02.840 --> 00:48:05.940 by Elizabeth Keenan. Music by Derek Herter. Please 00:48:05.940 --> 00:48:11.079 visit www .inspiredcg .com to learn more. Copyright 00:48:11.079 --> 00:48:13.039 2025. All rights reserved.