The Inspired Insights podcast is for informational
and entertainment purposes only and should not
be considered health advice. This podcast is
not intended to replace professional medical
advice. Please note that this podcast may contain
discussions on sensitive topics such as mental
illness, suicide, and substance use. If you are
experiencing a behavior health crisis or need
support, please contact the 988 Suicide and Crisis
Lifeline by calling 988 or visiting www .988lifeline
.org. Welcome! Welcome to Inspired Sites! How
are you? I am fantastic. Feeling very optimistic.
Oh, we'll have to come back to that. We have
some guests with us. I love having guests in
our studio. Yes. I love it. Yes. I'll let our
guests introduce themselves and then I'll discuss
with our listeners what we want to talk about
today. Indeed. Yes. Hello. I'm super glad to
be here. Thanks for inviting me, Chris and Soren.
It's amazing. I'm Angela Felicia. I'm the director
of UMaine's Counseling Center, and I'm really
happy to be here. And fun fact, you and I's friendship,
we're coming up to our 26th year of friendship.
1999, fall of 1990, Matt. What is the traditional
gift of a 26 -year -old? Remembering it. Yeah,
we met August of 1999. Yeah, that's true. Did
I do the math right then? Sorry. You got it again.
Yeah, sure. 25, no, 27. Yeah, yeah, coming up
in the fall. Yeah, coming up on 26. Yeah, we'd
be coming on 26. Yeah. So fellow social worker,
we met in graduate school as resident directors
at the University of Maine. Speaking of. Which
brings me to guest number two. That is me. My
name's Andy Bowen, and I'm the director of residence
life at UMaine. Welcome, you two. It's so nice.
Yeah, so nice. So, the reason why Soren and I
wanted to ask you both to come on this episode
is because Soren, if you look at Soren's sweatshirt,
our listeners now know Soren is heading far away
come September of this year. Indeed. I mean,
you've lived... You've traveled a lot. We've
talked about that. Yeah, I have. But this will
be your first time like living, not visiting,
but living somewhere else. So I thought it'd
be kind of cool to talk to some college life
experts about what's in store. Thinking about
what's that transition like from being high school
with families to now independent in another country.
I know your university. alma mater university
serves students from all over the really the
world yeah at this point so that international
approach to higher education i think would be
really interesting and then what are some of
the challenges that young people have as they
transition into that new life yeah first inspired
insights of the week chris would you like to
start it off so uh Folks know Soren's mom is
now the, what are we, the laundry queen? Oh,
of course. Laundry queen of Bangalore. I was
thinking about, like, what famously needs to
happen when college kids get to campus. For many
of them, they're learning how to do laundry for
the first time. They need to learn how to do
that before they get there. Ideally, right? So,
inspired inside of the week? You don't need to
use as much laundry soap. You don't need to wash
your clothes every single wear except socks and
underwear. Those got to be clean, but use like
a little bit less soap and wear your clothes
at times. But hang them back up. Nobody likes
a refugee. But there's a fine line between being
savvy with your laundry and being stinky. You're
right. That's true. That's true. I'm not wrong.
writing that line. Yeah, as am I. We're all on
sappy. Yeah, we're on the line of sappy. Fingers
crossed. So that's my laundry inspired insight
of the week. Soren, your inspired insight. So,
last night I was... engaging in a Kerr -Talman
tournament. For those of you who don't know what
Kerr -Talman is, it is a essentially like competitive
Latin trivia where you're on teams of four. Wait,
let that sink in. Competitive Latin trivia. Okay.
But I promise it's a real sport and it's really
fun. I had the opportunity to participate with
a great group of my fellow students, and my team
ended up coming out on top of the stay. Congratulations.
Yeah. So that was really fun. But my inspired
insight is more about the pretense and expectations
that people have around everything when... it's
kind of not that big of a deal like in in relationships
i think we have a tendency to create like a bunch
of like social expectations and schema around
things that don't really matter at all and like
i found myself last night really wanting like
validation from my teacher and he was not really
giving it to me yeah but um i found myself thinking
well Honestly, it really doesn't matter because
this is for me. It's not about like the social
expectation or what people are expecting. It
really is just because I had fun playing trivia.
Yeah. And important light skill. Like as you
age, as we age, the ability to find gratification
from within and not externally. I thought you
meant Latin trivia. Or Latin trivia. Yeah. And
congratulations. Thank you. and not expecting
uh like gratification from others right like
when we attempt to force others to be our source
of uh like happiness it ultimately just creates
like a power play like and high tension relationship
between two individuals right great insights
I love how I talked about laundry and you're
talking about interpersonal relationships and
personal qualification. Well, I think that speaks
to what's great about this podcast, the blend
of pragmatic and philosophical. That's true.
We do ride that line, too. Andy, inspired insight.
All right. So I have not always been a Taylor
Swift fan. I wasn't ever against Taylor Swift.
Growing up, I listened to like Fish and Dave
Matthews. So I wasn't, I wasn't. into it. So
I started noticing that all of my students were
really into it and like in a way far beyond what
just like music listenership would qualify as.
It was much more passionate. So then I started
listening to it and there are certain songs that
I still don't get. right I'm like what and then
there are some that I'll hear it and I hear the
words I hear the music and the way that it makes
me feel like and I'm like oh I do get it like
I understand it's she's writing about these feelings
that we've all had yeah you know or that we will
have we don't even know that we're gonna have
them so I was thinking about I can do it with
a broken heart which is um just a fantastic I
think song about resilience yeah and I mean geopolitically
right now I think a lot of our hearts are breaking
like we're seeing what's happening and we have
such a huge job in front of us right such a huge
job but our hearts are broken we need to like
boss up and she knows I gave her this pep talk
the other day but yeah we need to do it anyway
I've like carried on Bitch. Smile. I should have
worn those bracelets today. I'm surprised you're
not. I have that set. If we had talked beforehand,
I absolutely would have. Well, I wanted to really
dazzle you with the surprise. And you did. Thank
you. Thank you. Thank you. Angela. Yes. Inspired
insight. So my inspired insight comes from actually
one of my most favorite quotes of all time. Reverend
William Barber. Do you all know Reverend William
Barber? He is a leader in an anti -poverty movement.
And he spoke at a DNC convention a good 10 years
ago. What he said stuck with me forever. And
I'll paraphrase it because I don't quite have
the Reverend Barber gravitas. That people get
bogged down with what matters so little. And
they don't pay attention to the things that matter
so much. And so we need to really pay attention
to the things that matter so much. Versus like
worrying about the minutiae, which is similar
to your... Yeah, actually, I was going to say
that's, I think, very related to what I was trying
to get at. Yeah. Yeah. Nicely said. Cool thread.
So as I said to the start of the podcast, you
and I as social workers go way back. I'd love
to hear your... How you got into higher ed, because
I think you're coming up to a long time. Oh my
gosh, so many years. Yeah, so what about higher
education drew you career -wise? Okay, this is
going to make me sound so awful. I am not driven
by passion or anything. I just happened to fall
into an RA role when I was in my undergrad. I
majored in... art history and foreign languages
have nothing to do with student development.
I fell into this RE role where I was mentoring
peers and helping them just exist as adults independent
of whatever family they were coming from and
at that point as a peer right and I just found
that I was kind of naturally good at it. Now
I'm also naturally extremely lazy right so this
is something that I'm already good at and then
you're telling me that I get paid to have barbecues
and make people feel good about themselves? Yeah,
yeah. Right. So I kind of got into it that way
and actually went to school. I grew up in Maine,
went to school away from Maine. And it made me
appreciate Maine people a lot more. I worked
at Upstate New York and lived there for about
seven years. It's fairly similar. Like the way
people think and the way they act is kind of
similar to here. But it made me miss how authentic
people in Maine are. Like without any care as
to how the rest of the country might be thinking
about. me like nobody seems to care and i just
really like that like maine's gonna do what maine's
gonna do no matter what so i was like i get you
back to that yeah yeah that's awesome now i know
your your why for social work but i want to give
you the opportunity to share sure listeners your
why yeah um my why for social work uh is because
i really thought i would do something to save
the world that was really kind of my mission
i was telling andy that at lunch today in fact
that i went into social work my bachelor's was
in psychology so i really like people really
like understanding people and i thought oh i
know i'm going to do social work because i'm
going to help save the world um the world is
a much bigger place than what I thought I was
when I was younger. So now I just really want
to save my corner of the world and make a difference
for my little piece of the planet and the people
around me. Yeah. Which I will say, you're killing
it. You're doing it. Thanks, Chris. Obviously,
I'm going to say you are one of the fiercest
allies to LGBTQ plus individuals that I've ever
met. So you're doing it in your own way. I love
that. Yeah. So let's start off thinking about
this transition into what's next, right? Going
from high school to college life. And I'll let
you kind of kick us off in the conversation.
What do you notice the most, just in generally
speaking, like that group of 17, 18 -ish year
olds? Transitioning. Transitioning. From being
at home to being away from home. What I notice
is there are so many students who have relied
very, very heavily on whatever grownups are in
their life to manage. the difficult parts of
their life, to manage the complicated parts of
their life, the logistic parts of their life,
all this stuff. And then once they are in the
college environment, the expectation from the
college... is that the student is managing that
on their own. So we're only communicating with
the student or a variety of reasons why. But
I find that a lot of our incoming students aren't
prepared for that. And likewise, the parents
aren't prepared. I mean, they've been able to
go in and see like on power school or whatever
they do, they can go in and see all of their
kids information. And then as soon as their student
is enrolled in an institution of higher education,
those FERPA privacies can get. um really intense
and we're not talking to parents about things
unless we've got express permission from the
student so then if you've got a communication
issue between the student and the parent where
maybe the student isn't so communicative with
their parent parents not getting information
students aren't getting resources and so is it
predictable yes but it's kind of like this the
whole transition it's everyone involved in the
transition that they're is struggling you know
yeah yeah yeah and correct me if i'm wrong for
our listeners burpa is the healthcare version
of hipaa the college version of hipaa it's the
federal education right to privacy act got it
so you can't share information about these students
no i mean if somebody calls if a parent calls
me at work and says Hey, I have a question about
my child, my student. I can't even verify that
that person is a student. Really? Even though
parents are paying the bills? It does not matter
who's paying the bill. The matriculated student,
regardless of their age, is entitled to these
privacies. So that is a very important thing
for both the incoming student to know as well
as the parent. That information is not going
to be flowing freely. Because I started college
at 17. I'm an October birthday. So I started
college at 17 in September. So technically still
a minor for a month and a half or so. Yeah, there
are still certain things about your experience
at the university that we would not share. Did
you know that that was a thing? I was vaguely
aware of something similar to that, but I didn't
realize the significance of that barrier. which
introduces a very interesting new variable to
a relationship that has been very direct for
your entire life. And like, I know that without
my mother, I would not be, and my father, I would
not be able to manage any of my affairs. So that
does. It's a little food for thought for me.
But also correct me if I'm wrong, like in our
healthcare worlds, can the student give this
university permission to? Yes, of course. Any
individual student can give permission for a
variety of releases. So whether it's behavioral
information, financial information, academic
information. Not medical information because
that's not. educational. But you can give permission
to certain people to see certain parts of your
educational record or speak to people about you
and your experience at the university. Now, how
does that work for you, Angela, as at the counseling
center that you're running where you've got clinicians
treating? So you've got kind of FERPA and some
other things going on. We do. It ends up being
really complicated. And we will get, to Andy's
point, right, we will start getting in August,
we will start getting parents calling us, parents
of first years. And they will say, you know,
my child, Chris, is coming onto campus. I know
they're anxious. I want to schedule a counseling
appointment. And we have to say, nope. Here's
our number. Have your student call us. Yep, have
your student call us. And parents aren't happy
because they've done all the scheduling. So it's
a really hard transition. And then the counseling
center, UMaine really takes mental health seriously
and really values it a lot. So the university
offers free counseling for students. So that
means we aren't technically covered by HIPAA.
However, all of our people are licensed mental
health providers. So they are because of their
license. So we have this sort of like extra layer
of confidentiality which is really confusing
too yeah interesting right so it makes things
a little bit complicated um and then parents
they might release certain information to talk
to residents life or the student might yeah but
that doesn't necessarily apply it's not a blank
to the no everyone yeah it was really confusing
for both students and parents actually Because
ultimately the goal is to get it so the student
is managing everything. So that it's set up for
the student to manage everything. Regarding that
transition, how long on average would you say
like the learning curve is for like your average
freshman? Like how long does it take for them
to be like, oh, it's time for me to start doing
yours rather than like expecting their parent
to. There's so many variables. It depends. The
big thing is depends on whether or not their
parents went to college because I think that
is a huge predictor of whether or not or how
someone's going to navigate the waters of college
if they've got someone in their back pocket who's
recently. experienced the same thing yeah 100
% no I forgot the rest of your question I'll
be completely honest uh I mean just broadly like
um how long does that transition take and like
what would you say are the transitionary steps
as an additional layer right do you want some
paper yeah I'm sorry I mean, it's different for
everyone. There are a lot of our students who
have never faced adversity. They've never had
to do anything independently. And I think for
those students, it's a harder learning curve
than some of our students are coming. And I'll
talk about maybe students who have moved a lot
or they're coming from families that have a lot
of kids in the family, you know, so they've got
some experience taking care of other people.
It's all very different. what is developing is
agency and independence and it is a spectrum
for everyone like yeah the more opportunity now
you can take to put yourself in scenarios where
you have to exercise critical thinking on your
own or logistics or schedule yeah like executive
functioning stuff like that like flexing those
skills now while you still have the safety net
of your support network here then it makes it
a little bit easier as you get there i can picture
your mom like with a glass up against the wall
and she's feeding us make sure someone knows
yeah yeah now you and i talk and i know you talk
with your staff all the time about just brain
development and this the science of what is it
24 -ish years old before brains are fully developed
exactly 26. so which is the undergraduate experience
and like for you and i some of our graduate experience
as well so what are you seeing at the counseling
center around maybe some of the struggles with
the transition because i i know you see The mental
health issues, depression, anxiety, some other
mood disorder stuff, but the adjustment pieces.
Yeah, we end up seeing a lot. We see a lot of
first -year students throughout their entire
first year. Fall is really busy for us with our
first years. And we see students who just simply
don't know or recognize that no one... no one's
really paying attention to them in the same way
that they did in high school, right? So if they
don't go to class, it's not like the principal's
going to call the mom and say like, oh, your
students aren't going to class. Or mom can look
at power school. Or mom can look at power school.
So we see a lot of that. We see a lot of students
who've never been by themselves before. So they're
just so anxious because now here they are in
a new environment. They're in a new res hall,
you know, they're with new people, but they're
also by themselves. So they have to navigate
all that alone. So the level of anxiety just
ramps up dramatically. I mean, I think what I
know as well, and as somebody, I teach a lot
of undergrad juniors and seniors, but there is...
for a lot of these students, miles of difference
from high school academics and expectations to
even first year. And I know you've done a ton
of college -loving. Yeah, I'm taking five APs
right now, but I think... But your age group
in general, like that transition of high school
homework... and paper writing to college yeah
i i think i am very concerned about that because
right now i am just like coasting i think like
high school is Very few expectations. I'm not
putting in any effort. For all of Soren's teachers
listening. No, I promise for all my teachers,
I am trying my darndest at every moment I can.
But academics have often come easier for you
for a long time. yeah that's just the case um
and i am concerned about uh college especially
because i'm going to be attending a relatively
prestigious institution and i can't even at the
moment like fathom what the requirements will
be and like what i'll be doing yeah um so that'll
be a really interesting thing that i have to
adapt to both like a different structure of academics
and like different subject matter yeah um yeah
so i i think it will be very jarring um as i
think we've uh outlined well and there's the
piece like i remember in in our resident director
days um which you know full disclosure the day
i moved into my dorm in august of 99 was the
first time i had ever lived on a campus because
i grew up where I grew up was just nearby. So
I lived at home. So that first day of moving
into, like I was experiencing college life at
the same time, my 18 year old freshman students
were experiencing that. And it is a complete,
like it's a, it's a. multi -month sleepover party,
right? It's a very, very, very, very complicated
social environment, a residence hall. We talk
about it a lot. We've got an increasing number
of students coming to college who are on the
spectrum and who are not picking up social cues
as easily as other people. And it's difficult
to succeed in that kind of social environment
with the best recognition of all social cues,
but it can be incredibly difficult. you know
because there are no moms and dads yeah people
to help translate what's happening. Yeah, like
Ed Tech's, I think, wrote the special. There's
none of that. You're doing it yourself. Yeah.
And it's the formation of an entirely new social
structure. Like, the vast majority of children
are coming from a high school that they've been
attending for four years where they know everybody,
all the, like, barriers and, like, social connections
are already outlined. Established. Yeah, yes.
Well, they haven't had to make new friends for
a decade. Yeah. while they've never the last
time they made new friends their parents were
doing it together out of play yeah right in like
that that was a really big concern for me especially
before I had the opportunity to go to Brazil
for a month and make a bunch of friends there
but I was extremely concerned because I've realistically
not made like new good friends for three years
um outside of Brazil obviously and I was super
nervous because my friend group is very abnormal.
We're very unique individuals. So I was very
concerned about my social compatibility with
others and whether the idiosyncrasies of my current
relationships will result in a greater barrier
of entry to interacting with others. So I think
having been used to the high school environment
is going to make the transition even more pronounced
than if someone was maybe coming from very limited
social experience. Well, depending on the school,
the high school you're coming from too, right?
So if you're going from a really small, Maine
has a lot of small high schools. So if you're
going from a really small high school where maybe
your graduating class is under 100 to a state
institution like UMaine, there's... almost 12
,000 students. That's a huge difference too.
Right. So how do you find your people with that
kind of difference? I still remember now thinking
as a commuter student, that first day walking
into Psych 101, I froze. I remember it so clearly.
I froze at the door to see a stadium. That many
students? Like there was... 400 seats in this
auditorium. And I was in 12 people English seminars.
It took every ounce of my being to not spin and
walk. Well, I think that's, like, the thing is,
it's confidence. Which I hadn't. Right. If you
don't have it, fake it. Because everyone who's
on a college campus, I see it. I'm like, when
they all move on that first day that they all
move on, how many people come up to me and tell
me that they just met their best friend? Yep.
Yeah. I show my best friends to my roommate.
I'm like, you met that potential serial killer
10 minutes. Yeah. Tell me that's your best friend.
I'm like, no. A lot of students come assuming
that everyone already has best friends there.
Yeah. Which is not true. And nobody, everyone
who's coming in knows no one. They know a couple
people. They know the former version of them.
They don't know the new version. So you're all
starting on the same playing field. What matters
is the confidence to take a step outside of your
residence hall, to take a step to join a club
that maybe you didn't think that you were interested
in just because it's interesting. You know what
I mean? It's all about confidence. It doesn't
have to be organic. Just getting out of your
room. will get you the engagement and the involvement
that will build that into confidence. But then
that's what parents can do too, right? To be
helpful with that transition is to encourage
their student. to, like, join a club. Don't come
home every weekend. Like, stay on campus. We
did, like, the order of operations for if you
have a problem as a student, the first step is
not call mom. No, no, no. Because back in high
school, you run into an issue, you're like, ba
-bam, call mom. And it reinforces and keeps them.
Mom's anticipating those calls, right? And we're
like, no, you run into a problem, run through
your... resources that you have already and when
you're on a college campus it's lousy with resources
everyone's throwing resources at you it's up
to you to catalog them and then pull them out
when you need them you know they're everywhere
yeah yeah that's a great point i remember that
too like every week we were getting things to
hang up on bulletin boards and bringing in speakers
yeah it was the honor of the confidence to leave
your room none of that matters yeah Do you see
a lot with your first, like, do you see some
first years that are just frozen? Totally. They
just can't come out. Yeah, completely frozen.
UMaine has this great app. It's called Campus
Groups, right? So sometimes, frankly... We're
doing therapy, yes, obviously, but we're also
saying, hey, let's pull out your phone. Let's
help you download Campus Group. Showing them
how to use the resources, too, as an intervention.
Because we do see students that come to us, and
they're sad, they're depressed, they're lonely.
And really, they haven't found the confidence,
or they haven't even been able to fake the confidence
to just go out and... take that first step. Join
the horse club. Yeah. Given that college campuses
are so flush with opportunity, do you guys find
that there are a lot of students having a similar
experience almost to walking into a restaurant
where the menu is 50 pages long? There are simply
too many options that are frozen staring at this
menu, not wanting to order anything. We run into
that at the beginning of the year. We'll do an
involvement fair where we have All of our 200
and whatever groups, student groups on campus
will table. I mean, there's just people, wall
-to -wall people. And yes, it looks very overwhelming,
but we still encourage people to go out there.
And we're like, sign up for every single club.
begins to pique your interest because all you're
doing is opening the door for an email to come.
You know, you're not signing your life away.
I think that anxiety is if I sign up for this
club, I'm going to graduate and I'm going to
have to go into the field of horses. It's just
like get out of your room, get into some clubs
and stuff. You're not married to everything,
but like trying all these different things. Our
best club is Dungeons and Dragons. It's like
our biggest club. And that's where I recommend
people go. And they're like, I don't have any
friends. I don't know who to be friends with.
I don't know what to do. And these people have
a great community. And I have no idea what they're
doing. And that is the key word that you just
said, community, right? That encouragement to
get out, to meet people, to find your group.
Yeah, to start building community. Because as
you both said, And you, your community hasn't
changed for years. Yeah. And so, yeah, confidence
to get out and find and explore and just meet
your next community. Yeah. Yeah. Try it on. How
much of, I think, one of the other just narratives
around moving into college life, and a lot of
families worry about this, is the party stuff,
right? That doesn't happen at college. There's
no parties at college. A lot of navigating first
year is navigating some of the temptations and
finding community. You might have some false
starts. But matter of fact, how much of an issue
is substance use? You and I have completely different
views on this. Well, and probably because you
see or are seeing folks where that has become
an issue. Major problem. You're normalizing it
a bit more because it's a forward transition.
Yeah, we're... seeing it as a reality of the
transition and trying to get our arms around
it so that in a way we're reducing the harm and
the risk to the individuals and to the community.
I get it. I think especially in environments
like high school and as you transition in to
college, substance use and partying can function
as a real social lubricant. I think it's to some
extent, very important in order to create communities.
It's a rite of passage. Yeah, yeah. I almost
feel like. I think the first time you experience
or experiment is drugs, alcohol, whatever, should
not be in college, though. Right. No, I agree.
And that's something I've never been able to
say before. Seeing just some orientation or something,
I can't say it. But listen, parents need. to
show their kids how to responsibly consume substances
before they come to us and have no idea where
to put the brakes on. You know what I mean? You
have to know what is your limit, not what is
the internet's limit, but what is your limit?
How do you respond to this? I think it's crucially
important to do that ahead of time so that those
experiments that are happening on... campus where
the anxieties are heightened and people are looking
for ways to you know socialize a little bit more
freely it can get really dangerous yeah yeah
well some of that too is like just parents talking
like providing some basic education too right
one of the things that um i'm gonna out my nephew
here who's in college I won't say his name or
where he goes to college, but I'm going to out
him here. I was educating him about alcohol by
volume. Soren, do you know what that means? Yeah,
it's like the percentage of alcohol in a given
liquor. Your parents have done a fantastic job.
Well done. I think Soren educates. I've had the
opportunity to. extensively experiment with substances.
Nicely done. Nicely done. Which I'm feeling so,
so about. But I am glad that I am well aware
of my boundaries and stuff. Yeah. Yes. There's
so many students that come to college and they
don't understand that a shot of vodka, it's smaller.
A Poland spring bottle of water. Yeah, like that's...
that has more alcohol than your Natty Light.
Even though the Natty Light is bigger, it's not
the same. And they don't understand that. And
some of that is just like the 101. Yeah. transition
style. You know what I love? I love a Borg, right?
The blackout rose. Yeah, when you first got this.
I'll write this down. It's a gallon, like a really
great gallon jug. Yeah. That they mix alcohol,
water, and usually like an electrolyte of Neo
or something. Yeah. Then they name the Borg,
like Lizzy Borg, yeah, or something like that,
right? Have you heard of this? I've indulged
in this. It is not a recipe for a fun evening.
It's a recipe for a fucking disaster. Hear me
out. Hear me out. You're making your own Borg,
right? That's my Borg. I brought my Borg. You
don't know if it has alcohol in it. You don't
know what it has in it, right? It's my Borg.
I have a cap on it. So that's some harm reduction.
Yes, it is. That's not a huge drinker. Yes, it
is. Because I'm an idiot sober soul. Why do I
need to really... I'm pretty happy sober. Right.
But... It may be that the pressure to drink around
my peers is so great that I want to appear as
though I'm drinking. And that is my Borg. And
then you own. That's my part. That's right. Right.
It's the whole thing. It's what I've been doing
the whole night. And I love, well, who's going
to put anything in this? Right. The harm reduction.
Exactly. And you don't have to sip off mine.
No. Don't touch it. Right, right, right. You
will find out it is like all ginger ale. I love
that. See, I love getting to this place of like,
what are some, what's advice? I'm not loving,
like, but what are some recommendations? What
are some? Tips and tricks. Yeah, tips and tricks,
both for families to be preparing themselves.
I think there's some shock that come for the
parents as well. Oh, yeah. But what are some,
for folks listening, what are some tips and tricks
for the student and for the parents to make that
transition go as successfully as possible? And
shifting from the substance use. Yeah. Because
we think of... student soren's age as like digital
natives right like they got the technology they
know what they're doing no they don't yeah they
have the technology for like social media yeah
but other than that no so we at the counseling
center will in fact say to students like hey
your next appointment is thursday at four take
your phone out have you ever put in an appointment
in your own personal phone because who's managing
their appointments right mom and dad yeah So
let me show you how to use your calendar app.
Yeah. Reminders. And how do you set the alert?
And I cannot tell you nine times out of ten a
student will be like, oh, I didn't know that.
That is a great advice. Well, why would they?
No, because they haven't had to flex those skills.
They haven't had to use the skills. That's great
advice. Same with whatever the academic app is.
Yeah. Like we use Brightspace, right? So you
can download Brightspace on your phone. and then
look at it right because that's how you know
what is coming up on your syllabus because guess
what and you can do alerts on your professor's
not going to tell you yeah you have an assignment
to do next week the professor's not reminding
you because they gave you a syllabus at the beginning
of the semester that's on you yeah yeah Glasgow
has a similar app uh and actually um this is
very specific to me so not necessarily broadly
applicable but Because I'm operating on a student
visa, I will have to check in to every single
one of my classes to ensure that I'm meeting
the requirements of my visa. So you will physically
be there to go to class? Yeah. I think that that
would be great. That's really important because
I was going to say, another important thing is
going to class. Just go to class. Right, yeah.
Because that's something without somebody waking
you up and being like, it's time to go to class.
It can be really hard to make yourself go to
class. Really hard. We used to show the students
in a certain number of Chipotle burritos how
many burritos each class cost. So we're like,
we didn't skip it, but it's like 35 burritos.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's great. That's great.
Yeah, I remember the first semester, the students
trudging out the door at 7 .45 for their 8 a
.m. classes. And the very next semester. Dead
quiet. Everyone realized, I'm scheduling eating.
Yeah, everyone transitions out. So my, as a resident
director, one of my favorite times of the day
was from like 7 to 8. It is beautiful, quiet,
control your coffee, your tea, you know, you're
trudging. Especially responsible ones getting
ready to do some laundry. Yeah, I love it. Doing
less soap. So do you have any final questions
for Andy or Ange? I call this lightning round
of stump the therapist. Anytime I present to
classes at the university, I say, last questions
are stump the therapist. You can try to do stumpers.
My conspiracy theories about chickens. Conspiracy
theories? I didn't realize that chickens were
that enigmatic. By Jove, I'm trying to think,
and I am just wondering how, obviously it is
essential that students have a positive social
milieu, right? But how contingent is the... positivity
of their milieu on their academic success and
like what's their relationship there? Great question.
I think it's different for everyone. And it's
different for everyone. As somebody who's really
jazzed by external, you know, relationships and
everything might depend on that and might need
people to be around them and have like a posse
in order to, you know, to get the charge out
of it. And then there's other people who are
very content. Being in college or university
with the anonymity that comes with being around
so many people that that's actually very comforting
for them So I think you kind of have to try it
out. Like yeah, see what works for you and know
yourself to be there. Yeah so I I've asked numerous
questions and I'm getting like responses that
are like well, it's very dependent on the individual
and I totally understand how that's the case
and I see the validity of that. But how do you
two as individuals who are working to improve
the student experience manage the individuality
and how essential individualized care is when
you're operating with a student body that is
thousands of individuals? That's a really good
question. I love people. I love people. I love
weird people. I love their weird problems. I
love the weird ways that they think about things.
I love ideas. I love all of it. So I'm very happy,
and it's probably annoying, to get in with one
person and find out what makes them tick. Why
are we doing this? And then see if I were them,
what would I do differently? So I like to do
that. Yeah. What I will say, what I think I know
or remember, about resident life is that you
build a team right it's not you have multiple
staff who are supervising multiple staff when
there's a whole hierarchy of support and you
do a ton of training we do a lot of training
it's all on like how to connect with the student
that's in front of you that's the first thing
just connect with them and then if there's a
problem assess the problem and make an appropriate
referral but we're just like big siblings maybe
that are in like a hall and without a lot of
judgment we're just trying to provide guidance
because it's really hard to be a human yeah it's
really hard to be a human without your parents
that you're used to that's right yeah that's
right um do you guys find that you have the resources
necessary to service every individual student
because the other day i was talking after school
with one of my former teachers who used to be
a college professor he has his phd in chemistry
and material sciences And he was complaining
repeatedly about how stretched thin college faculty
are and how there isn't that time for sitting
to think and sitting to interact with other individuals
anymore. It's really about productivity and optimizing
for things, at least at the research level. So
do you guys have a similar experience to that?
in your student interactions? I don't. Yeah,
I think that that's the academic side of the
house where they might get more pressure to be
productive when it comes to research. But we're
coming from student life, which is the other
side of student support. You've got your academic
support and then your support with everything
else. No, I don't feel that at all. I feel like
we're here. I mean, are we stretched thin? Yeah.
But we're not. in this field because we were
looking to sit and think. Do you know what I
mean? Yeah. My husband is a professor and he
would love to sit and think a lot. No, I couldn't
do that. We're more go, go, go. Let's have a
program. Let's get it. Let's do this. Yeah, because
sitting idle, like that old adage. I started
thinking about chickens again. All the chickens.
But you don't want your students to have a ton
of time. No. We can't have a pretty unstructured
time. Nothing's that concerted. A lot of breast
life is programming and keeping things. I said
it's kind of like a combination between like...
Like a summer camp? Yep. And a work camp. Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Work camp in the summer? Yeah,
like sometimes, sometimes there's authority that
has to, but most of the time we're like, making
boys scream out like that. Right, right. Just
keeping it going. And this is also part of our
community. Oh, and connecting. Taylor's friends
and the community. Yeah, and then we at the Counseling
Center too, we maintain appointments daily. twice
a day in fact yeah for emergencies right for
an acute need so we constantly like we build
into our schedule um an opportunity for something
that comes up yeah um and then to be available
which is why they say this all the time we never
have a wait list at our counseling center ever
ever because people can get in right away because
we know the need like if a student needs help
they need it now they don't need it like three
weeks from now they need it yeah today that's
right i think that's really awesome actually
and i think it's a little sad the contrast between
the ability to like uh receive mental health
care between like a college student and your
average like pedestrian that's right that's right
that's what it's i guess there are some benefits
of being you know like even though we've talked
about transition and making those adjustments
at the end of the day you all do an amazing job
being available providing that support, and just
helping, just helping the students succeed. Well,
and hopefully helping people become whatever
kind of human they want to become. That's right.
No, it's whatever kind of human we want them
to be. Remember the indoctrination? Right, we're
indoctrinating them. Excuse me. Sorry, my bad.
This has been an amazing conversation. Any last...
Words, thoughts, suggestions, advice? I would
just like to express my gratitude that you guys
were able to come on and have a conversation
with us. And I'm so pleased and grateful that
I get the opportunity to have these discussions
that many other soon -to -be students will not
have the ability to have. And I'm glad that we
were able to produce something that I think has
some tangible um advice while also offering more
of a viewpoint perspective on what's occurring
yeah yeah yeah any last words thank you so much
thanks for having us it's been really fun i love
having the conversation well i'll listen all
day yes uh thanks so much to our audience uh
for listening Well, we'll see you next week.
Bye, y 'all. I've been Chris McLaughlin. I've
been Soren Peterson. See you next week. This
has been the Inspired Insights Podcast. Bye.
Bye. The Inspired Insights Podcast has been brought
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