WEBVTT 00:00:00.010 --> 00:00:02.750 The Inspired Insights podcast is for informational 00:00:02.750 --> 00:00:05.089 and entertainment purposes only and should not 00:00:05.089 --> 00:00:07.570 be considered health advice. This podcast is 00:00:07.570 --> 00:00:09.630 not intended to replace professional medical 00:00:09.630 --> 00:00:12.509 advice. Please note that this podcast may contain 00:00:12.509 --> 00:00:14.970 discussions on sensitive topics such as mental 00:00:14.970 --> 00:00:17.550 illness, suicide, and substance use. If you are 00:00:17.550 --> 00:00:19.969 experiencing a behavior health crisis or need 00:00:19.969 --> 00:00:23.109 support, please contact the 988 Suicide and Crisis 00:00:23.109 --> 00:00:29.050 Lifeline by calling 988 or visiting www .988lifeline 00:00:29.050 --> 00:00:58.509 .org. Welcome back, folks. Hi. Hey, everyone. 00:00:58.810 --> 00:01:02.030 Yeah, another episode of the Inspired Insights 00:01:02.030 --> 00:01:05.409 podcast. Pride edition. Indeed, indeed. Happy 00:01:05.409 --> 00:01:08.230 Pride, everyone. Happy Pride. Also, happy International 00:01:08.230 --> 00:01:10.189 Women's Day. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, that is 00:01:10.189 --> 00:01:13.310 today. I found that out. Yeah. The all -women's 00:01:13.310 --> 00:01:15.689 jiu -jitsu class this morning. So happy International 00:01:15.689 --> 00:01:17.549 Women's Day. Happy Pride. You are a fascinating 00:01:17.549 --> 00:01:19.810 person. All right, we'll get there. We'll get 00:01:19.810 --> 00:01:25.769 there. Okay, so we have two lovely guests. Would 00:01:25.769 --> 00:01:28.129 you guys like to introduce yourselves? Absolutely. 00:01:28.859 --> 00:01:31.280 I'm Betsy Lundy. I'm the executive director of 00:01:31.280 --> 00:01:36.719 the Downtown Bangor Partnership. Yay! And I'm 00:01:36.719 --> 00:01:39.519 Bobby Jean Garso, or BJ as most people know me. 00:01:39.599 --> 00:01:41.859 I work locally in a hospital here full -time. 00:01:42.239 --> 00:01:44.739 I am the board of directors for a lot of type 00:01:44.739 --> 00:01:47.359 1 diabetes communities, and I'm also on the board 00:01:47.359 --> 00:01:49.859 for Bangor Pride, which is going to be the best 00:01:49.859 --> 00:01:51.920 one yet this year. And I can't wait to talk about 00:01:51.920 --> 00:01:53.819 it. I can't wait to talk about it. Well, thank 00:01:53.819 --> 00:01:55.500 you both for being here. This is such an important 00:01:55.500 --> 00:02:01.439 topic, especially... So I really just thank you 00:02:01.439 --> 00:02:04.719 for being here and being willing to talk. We 00:02:04.719 --> 00:02:07.000 love you guys. We love the podcast. And I love 00:02:07.000 --> 00:02:09.219 the fact that you bring light to subjects that, 00:02:09.219 --> 00:02:11.599 whether I'm working professionally or in small 00:02:11.599 --> 00:02:13.360 business, that are subjects that can be real 00:02:13.360 --> 00:02:15.740 touchy right now. So thank you for bringing light 00:02:15.740 --> 00:02:20.199 to our community. And having us. Soren has yet 00:02:20.199 --> 00:02:22.500 to believe that people actually are listening 00:02:22.500 --> 00:02:24.599 to the podcast and that it's making a difference. 00:02:25.340 --> 00:02:27.460 It is. It makes a difference. Even if one person 00:02:27.460 --> 00:02:29.599 hears it, it makes a difference. So we have to 00:02:29.599 --> 00:02:31.080 remember that. I guarantee you there's another 00:02:31.080 --> 00:02:36.900 one. Seven. I think we're on eight now. Maybe 00:02:36.900 --> 00:02:39.580 got eight. Yeah, well, thank you both. I'm excited 00:02:39.580 --> 00:02:42.310 to have this conversation. one of the reasons 00:02:42.310 --> 00:02:44.409 why soren and i wanted to have you both here 00:02:44.409 --> 00:02:47.110 is a to just talk about the importance of resilience 00:02:47.110 --> 00:02:50.270 and allyship and pride and there's some changes 00:02:50.270 --> 00:02:52.530 with pride this year and so it's also a good 00:02:52.530 --> 00:02:54.629 opportunity to let some of our local listeners 00:02:54.629 --> 00:02:56.870 know that there's some big stuff going pride 00:02:56.870 --> 00:03:00.050 is still happening bigger than ever before yes 00:03:00.050 --> 00:03:02.370 do you want to talk a little bit about sort of 00:03:02.370 --> 00:03:04.189 the role that downtown bangor is going to play 00:03:04.189 --> 00:03:07.949 with this year's sure yeah um i was telling soren 00:03:07.949 --> 00:03:10.639 before we got started that downtown bangor has 00:03:10.639 --> 00:03:13.219 always been well it's obviously the home of pride 00:03:13.219 --> 00:03:15.060 right that like most of the pride activities 00:03:15.060 --> 00:03:17.300 obviously the festival parade happened in downtown 00:03:17.300 --> 00:03:20.520 um you know there's some really um important 00:03:20.520 --> 00:03:23.319 both positive and tragic events uh related to 00:03:23.319 --> 00:03:27.460 the lgbtq plus community in bangor um that have 00:03:27.460 --> 00:03:30.800 kind of i think solidified downtown bangor as 00:03:30.800 --> 00:03:36.330 like a core place for pride and you're talking 00:03:36.330 --> 00:03:38.610 about charlie howard's death and soren and i 00:03:38.610 --> 00:03:41.370 actually did a visit to the memorial downtown 00:03:41.370 --> 00:03:43.930 and did some photos there before so yeah charlie 00:03:43.930 --> 00:03:47.909 howard is an absolute um just a tragic story 00:03:47.909 --> 00:03:52.150 that unfortunately is a is a sort of stain on 00:03:52.150 --> 00:03:55.789 bangor's history around lgbtq acceptance and 00:03:55.789 --> 00:03:59.729 yeah yeah absolutely and i think uh in some ways 00:03:59.729 --> 00:04:02.169 like the fact that you know the festival and 00:04:02.169 --> 00:04:05.250 the parade and the rainbow walkways there you 00:04:05.250 --> 00:04:08.569 know those are all things i think that kind of 00:04:08.569 --> 00:04:10.990 maybe were born out of that to a certain extent 00:04:10.990 --> 00:04:14.710 you know like that um i do think that at that 00:04:14.710 --> 00:04:19.490 moment in time it was much more um okay you know 00:04:19.490 --> 00:04:24.930 to be anti -gay and i think when people saw what 00:04:24.930 --> 00:04:28.709 that can translate into um it really helped the 00:04:28.709 --> 00:04:31.709 community start to rally around and create that 00:04:31.709 --> 00:04:34.689 sense of allyship in in a way that has grown 00:04:34.689 --> 00:04:37.290 over time right like i don't think that like 00:04:37.290 --> 00:04:39.629 everybody was overnight like okay now i'm a supporter 00:04:39.629 --> 00:04:42.750 you know but i think it opened doors and conversations 00:04:42.750 --> 00:04:44.870 i know when i talked to my parents about it you 00:04:44.870 --> 00:04:48.149 know like you know it certainly impacted them 00:04:48.149 --> 00:04:50.370 like you know considerably and changed the way 00:04:50.370 --> 00:04:52.930 that they thought about things yeah just watching 00:04:52.930 --> 00:04:56.069 their mental evolution over time yeah I mean 00:04:56.069 --> 00:04:59.290 I as somebody who grew up locally to this area 00:04:59.290 --> 00:05:05.610 84 like that stands out in my mind is something 00:05:05.610 --> 00:05:10.390 like that was a thing and I just remember The 00:05:10.390 --> 00:05:13.750 punchlines and the jokes and just actually in 00:05:13.750 --> 00:05:17.550 my class When my English teacher was brave enough, 00:05:17.569 --> 00:05:21.670 it was old town, which I know that north of Orono 00:05:21.670 --> 00:05:24.750 Orono is very liberal. Yeah, you may love them 00:05:24.750 --> 00:05:26.889 over there But in old town we watched a video 00:05:26.889 --> 00:05:28.889 on it and it was just amazing to me because I 00:05:28.889 --> 00:05:30.490 know there's people still living in that community 00:05:30.490 --> 00:05:34.079 that actually almost crazed yeah this crime like 00:05:34.079 --> 00:05:37.040 this person for just existing yeah and that's 00:05:37.040 --> 00:05:39.620 on the side note of it being someone who didn't 00:05:39.620 --> 00:05:41.160 even dare to come out of the closet while i was 00:05:41.160 --> 00:05:42.819 in high school even though everyone knew my best 00:05:42.819 --> 00:05:46.379 friend was my girlfriend yeah you know and she 00:05:46.379 --> 00:05:48.199 was amazing but it was one of those things i 00:05:48.199 --> 00:05:49.540 just remember watching the video and hearing 00:05:49.540 --> 00:05:51.459 the comments yeah which made me just want to 00:05:51.459 --> 00:05:53.899 like shrivel up yeah and things like that but 00:05:53.899 --> 00:05:56.620 now it's like i know that with that unfortunate 00:05:56.620 --> 00:06:00.310 event though how in pun intended how proud he 00:06:00.310 --> 00:06:02.870 would be yeah of where we are as a community 00:06:02.870 --> 00:06:05.110 showing that we're not going to back down no 00:06:05.110 --> 00:06:06.750 that we're not going to hide away and we're not 00:06:06.750 --> 00:06:08.069 going to be scared we're going to we're going 00:06:08.069 --> 00:06:10.170 to kill him with kindness yeah and show them 00:06:10.170 --> 00:06:12.589 that we're not doing anything wrong we just want 00:06:12.589 --> 00:06:14.990 to celebrate love and acceptance yeah and as 00:06:14.990 --> 00:06:17.350 an also an old town grad i don't know if you 00:06:17.350 --> 00:06:23.050 knew that um it's interesting yeah i like being 00:06:23.050 --> 00:06:25.649 in i think probably middle school at that time 00:06:25.649 --> 00:06:31.139 but yeah it was yeah yeah yeah yeah 10. we're 00:06:31.139 --> 00:06:35.779 not yeah i was tired yeah but yeah like circling 00:06:35.779 --> 00:06:37.800 back to the original conversation there about 00:06:37.800 --> 00:06:39.860 like you know like so downtown i mean it's like 00:06:39.860 --> 00:06:42.360 it's just steeped in the culture here you know 00:06:42.360 --> 00:06:45.540 downtown that there's this conversation you know 00:06:45.540 --> 00:06:47.920 about it and so the downtown bangor partnership 00:06:47.920 --> 00:06:51.189 which has been around since 1988 um has always 00:06:51.189 --> 00:06:53.850 been a supporter of pride in various ways like 00:06:53.850 --> 00:06:55.910 a lot of that has come like through like you 00:06:55.910 --> 00:06:58.329 know marketing support and promotion or helping 00:06:58.329 --> 00:07:02.709 execute events or or providing information connection 00:07:02.709 --> 00:07:08.389 that sort of thing and um last year um orion 00:07:08.389 --> 00:07:12.670 and ethan uh were organizing pride and uh they 00:07:12.670 --> 00:07:16.290 when they met with us they said you know we were 00:07:16.290 --> 00:07:17.790 kind of put on notice that heal is not going 00:07:17.790 --> 00:07:20.470 to have the capacity to do pride next year and 00:07:20.470 --> 00:07:23.829 kind of need like a parent organization um to 00:07:23.829 --> 00:07:25.750 help us with kind of the infrastructure pieces 00:07:25.750 --> 00:07:27.649 and would downtown bengal be interested and i 00:07:27.649 --> 00:07:29.310 was like yes absolutely and we were like okay 00:07:29.310 --> 00:07:31.350 cool we'll like reconvene after pride is over 00:07:31.350 --> 00:07:33.209 like talk about it and of course they moved away 00:07:33.209 --> 00:07:36.829 and so i was just kind of like okay like i don't 00:07:36.829 --> 00:07:38.389 really know where to go with this because again 00:07:38.389 --> 00:07:40.529 like a major philosophy of the downtown bengal 00:07:40.529 --> 00:07:44.649 partnership is that we don't want to co -opt 00:07:45.340 --> 00:07:48.759 events that really belong to other communities 00:07:48.759 --> 00:07:51.139 and like take them on and be like we're gonna 00:07:51.139 --> 00:07:53.439 do them for you you know because we really feel 00:07:53.439 --> 00:07:55.660 like it has to come from there So, you know, 00:07:55.660 --> 00:07:58.360 we kind of kicked it around a little bit at the 00:07:58.360 --> 00:08:00.279 committee level and at the board level. And then 00:08:00.279 --> 00:08:03.100 I reached out to Josh D 'Alessio at Kiel and 00:08:03.100 --> 00:08:04.620 said, hey, just so you know, this is where the 00:08:04.620 --> 00:08:06.279 conversation was left with Ethan. And he was 00:08:06.279 --> 00:08:08.439 like, oh my God, that would be so helpful. Like, 00:08:08.439 --> 00:08:11.060 I really would love for you guys to do that because 00:08:11.060 --> 00:08:13.000 we just, we literally cannot do it again this 00:08:13.000 --> 00:08:15.500 year. And I was like, cool, fine, whatever. Like 00:08:15.500 --> 00:08:17.600 literally the next day, like the pride committee 00:08:17.600 --> 00:08:19.579 was like, and we're doing pride on our own. And 00:08:19.579 --> 00:08:23.629 I was like, all right, cool. Yeah. yeah and so 00:08:23.629 --> 00:08:26.230 then you know we started uh you know you know 00:08:26.230 --> 00:08:28.329 conversations with the two sams like they were 00:08:28.329 --> 00:08:30.949 the first ones yeah um they're they are they're 00:08:30.949 --> 00:08:33.250 really wonderful and um you know we're just kind 00:08:33.250 --> 00:08:35.330 of like okay like what is it exactly that you 00:08:35.330 --> 00:08:37.730 need what do you need yeah and like for them 00:08:37.730 --> 00:08:41.250 it was like okay we know what we want it to be 00:08:41.799 --> 00:08:45.179 But we need, you know, a nonprofit that can handle 00:08:45.179 --> 00:08:47.299 the financial aspect of it. Right. The money 00:08:47.299 --> 00:08:50.700 in the money out piece of things that can get, 00:08:50.759 --> 00:08:54.480 you know, insurance that can, you know, kind 00:08:54.480 --> 00:08:58.379 of talk us through the really the less fun side 00:08:58.379 --> 00:09:00.470 of it. You know, when I was. When I first joined 00:09:00.470 --> 00:09:02.830 the Downtown Negro Partnership, I was a board 00:09:02.830 --> 00:09:04.950 member and I was like, oh, events are so fun. 00:09:05.169 --> 00:09:06.990 But then when you realize that it's also like 00:09:06.990 --> 00:09:11.450 less, you're like, oh, insurance. So you, well 00:09:11.450 --> 00:09:15.990 that, 100%, and that was my inspired insight 00:09:15.990 --> 00:09:19.929 for our week for this episode, is that folks 00:09:19.929 --> 00:09:25.110 have no idea what it takes, whether it's a... 00:09:25.529 --> 00:09:31.629 day -long event, a four -hour meeting, or a multi 00:09:31.629 --> 00:09:34.549 -day conference. The amount of just energy and 00:09:34.549 --> 00:09:38.669 resources and details that go into making this 00:09:38.669 --> 00:09:43.210 stuff the thing that it is. And my inspired insight 00:09:43.210 --> 00:09:46.769 is make sure you thank an organizer. Make sure 00:09:46.769 --> 00:09:51.409 you're just taking two seconds to say, that parade 00:09:51.409 --> 00:09:55.220 was awesome. Thank you for putting that on. Yeah, 00:09:55.240 --> 00:09:58.759 I think that's so key because it is really easy 00:09:58.759 --> 00:10:02.159 to forget that the majority of the people who 00:10:02.159 --> 00:10:04.679 are doing the work are volunteers, right? Right. 00:10:04.759 --> 00:10:07.220 And we work full -time jobs. I mean, actually, 00:10:07.419 --> 00:10:11.399 I work a lot of jobs. Yeah. And you're a country 00:10:11.399 --> 00:10:15.340 minor. Yeah. And it's one of those things, though, 00:10:15.360 --> 00:10:17.139 and we have to realize that. Everything from 00:10:17.139 --> 00:10:20.019 the security of the concerts or the background, 00:10:20.139 --> 00:10:22.779 the sound check people. or things like that and 00:10:22.779 --> 00:10:24.559 it's one of those things like we need to realize 00:10:25.440 --> 00:10:28.000 that there's a lot of work put in here and outside 00:10:28.000 --> 00:10:30.120 of it. We're taking time away from our family 00:10:30.120 --> 00:10:32.279 lives. We're taking time away from this because 00:10:32.279 --> 00:10:34.440 we want to put on events in the best way we can. 00:10:34.559 --> 00:10:36.639 But people tend to forget, like even me, we're 00:10:36.639 --> 00:10:39.460 trying to organize a 5K. I call it the Wicked 00:10:39.460 --> 00:10:42.200 Gay 5K. It just makes me stressed to wear short 00:10:42.200 --> 00:10:45.299 shorts. So I'm hoping we can hook up with happy 00:10:45.299 --> 00:10:48.159 endings because Melissa's really good with planning 00:10:48.159 --> 00:10:51.419 that. But anyway, point being is, but then finding 00:10:51.419 --> 00:10:55.149 out we need insurance, city permits. just like 00:10:55.149 --> 00:10:57.870 show up and go running around right right and 00:10:57.870 --> 00:11:00.309 these things and i was like talking to vancouver 00:11:00.309 --> 00:11:02.789 parks and rec who have been fantastic and i was 00:11:02.789 --> 00:11:06.899 just like insurance to go running yeah right 00:11:06.899 --> 00:11:09.259 yeah so thank you for bringing that up yeah myself 00:11:09.259 --> 00:11:11.799 working in these other fields i thank you for 00:11:11.799 --> 00:11:14.120 working with us yeah no i mean that's i mean 00:11:14.120 --> 00:11:17.279 that's the it takes a lot of like really unfun 00:11:17.279 --> 00:11:21.740 so on stuff so it takes a special kind of person 00:11:21.740 --> 00:11:25.559 to want to take on that workload right like in 00:11:25.559 --> 00:11:28.259 in and i will say too just organizations across 00:11:28.259 --> 00:11:30.460 the board are kind of like volunteer base is 00:11:30.460 --> 00:11:32.480 like shrinking so you have like less and less 00:11:32.480 --> 00:11:36.159 people you know lifting more and more you know 00:11:36.159 --> 00:11:38.419 stuff you know and you always want to make things 00:11:38.419 --> 00:11:41.100 your thing bigger than it was last year but if 00:11:41.100 --> 00:11:43.120 you don't have kind of the community support 00:11:43.120 --> 00:11:45.860 like I know for pride the biggest thing is going 00:11:45.860 --> 00:11:48.860 to be volunteers on the parade like yeah that 00:11:48.860 --> 00:11:52.279 is like you need so many people to make sure 00:11:52.279 --> 00:11:55.899 that you know the vehicles are spaced safely 00:11:55.899 --> 00:11:59.779 and that nobody's running onto the road. The 00:11:59.779 --> 00:12:03.379 lift is so hard on a parade. That's right. I 00:12:03.379 --> 00:12:05.039 think about that all the time with the Festival 00:12:05.039 --> 00:12:07.980 of Lights parade and Fourth of July parade too. 00:12:08.139 --> 00:12:10.500 There are just so many people who give up their 00:12:10.500 --> 00:12:13.279 time to come out there so that other folks can 00:12:13.279 --> 00:12:16.100 stand on the sidelines and be like, yay! I think 00:12:16.100 --> 00:12:18.519 there's an assumption that public safety, like 00:12:18.519 --> 00:12:21.740 our friends in the police force, they're doing 00:12:21.740 --> 00:12:25.200 that. they can't and they can't yeah so that 00:12:25.200 --> 00:12:28.840 yeah yeah we'll come back to some of this soren 00:12:28.840 --> 00:12:32.559 inspired insight for the episode um my inspired 00:12:32.559 --> 00:12:35.120 insight is kind of off topic but it does have 00:12:35.120 --> 00:12:38.700 to do with pride and our identity as a community 00:12:38.700 --> 00:12:44.740 um so as i've journeyed through my like exploration 00:12:44.740 --> 00:12:49.879 of my identity um i have found that i have decreased 00:12:49.879 --> 00:12:53.480 my reliance on labels significantly yeah like 00:12:53.480 --> 00:12:57.179 in in my youth uh as i was like exploring my 00:12:57.179 --> 00:13:00.500 gender identity uh and exploring um what my sexual 00:13:00.500 --> 00:13:02.960 orientation was i didn't really need to explore 00:13:02.960 --> 00:13:10.539 that much but um I relied on labels so heavily 00:13:10.539 --> 00:13:14.580 to identify myself and feel like my experience 00:13:14.580 --> 00:13:18.019 was valid. But as I've become increasingly comfortable 00:13:18.019 --> 00:13:22.460 with my identity and how I present and how I 00:13:22.460 --> 00:13:24.820 interact with the world regarding matters of 00:13:24.820 --> 00:13:27.700 sexual orientation and gender, I have sort of 00:13:27.700 --> 00:13:31.539 withdrawn from the labels that I previously used. 00:13:31.740 --> 00:13:35.980 And I've stopped. talking about it as like a 00:13:35.980 --> 00:13:39.240 concrete, formalized thing. And I think that 00:13:39.240 --> 00:13:42.940 that has allowed me to identify with the community 00:13:42.940 --> 00:13:46.299 rather than myself as an individual within it. 00:13:46.960 --> 00:13:51.039 And I think that is increasingly important as 00:13:51.039 --> 00:13:54.559 queer individuals are persecuted, as individuals 00:13:54.559 --> 00:13:58.360 that we stand united as a front. And part of 00:13:58.360 --> 00:14:01.279 breaking down some of those barriers can be I 00:14:01.279 --> 00:14:04.679 think, putting less emphasis on the importance 00:14:04.679 --> 00:14:08.000 of labels. Do you think that's a generational 00:14:08.000 --> 00:14:10.259 piece? Because I know you and I have talked about 00:14:10.259 --> 00:14:14.409 this a lot, that folks your age... are really 00:14:14.409 --> 00:14:17.990 embracing i'm 17. are you okay yeah i actually 00:14:17.990 --> 00:14:20.690 was assuming you were probably mid like no oh 00:14:20.690 --> 00:14:24.370 why thank you no folks your age seem to be really 00:14:24.370 --> 00:14:27.250 embracing that non -binary piece around both 00:14:27.250 --> 00:14:30.690 sexual orientation and gender where my generation 00:14:30.690 --> 00:14:33.450 like we needed the word we needed the label maybe 00:14:33.450 --> 00:14:36.429 there was some safety in calling it something 00:14:36.429 --> 00:14:40.340 and folks your age don't seem to need that i 00:14:40.340 --> 00:14:43.720 i think honestly for me at least labels were 00:14:43.720 --> 00:14:47.460 like a matter of validity and asserting myself 00:14:47.460 --> 00:14:50.379 as a thing that is existing right in a concrete 00:14:50.379 --> 00:14:53.580 yeah as a badge it's it's a way to show others 00:14:53.580 --> 00:14:56.779 that i exist as a part of a group that actually 00:14:56.779 --> 00:14:59.120 is real right like my experience is valid right 00:14:59.120 --> 00:15:03.279 absolutely um but now i think queer individuals 00:15:03.279 --> 00:15:06.919 at least in certain circles obviously it's becoming 00:15:06.919 --> 00:15:08.860 increasingly difficult for queer individuals 00:15:08.860 --> 00:15:13.279 to exist yeah um but in certain circles it just 00:15:13.279 --> 00:15:16.080 is it's not something that needs to be announced 00:15:16.080 --> 00:15:20.220 or defined it is simply a part of the social 00:15:20.220 --> 00:15:23.059 milieu yeah right well i even think that word 00:15:23.059 --> 00:15:25.080 queer i was just gonna say that i mean yeah like 00:15:25.080 --> 00:15:28.220 like it is used so much because it's has that 00:15:28.220 --> 00:15:31.340 amorphous quality yeah yeah but when we were 00:15:31.340 --> 00:15:34.860 growing up nope You know, like, you know, I had 00:15:34.860 --> 00:15:36.419 two older brothers. And again, growing up in 00:15:36.419 --> 00:15:38.980 the backwoods of Greenbush, like they threw around 00:15:38.980 --> 00:15:41.460 the F word all the time. I don't even want to 00:15:41.460 --> 00:15:43.919 say it. Right. But I remember like having MTV 00:15:43.919 --> 00:15:46.000 on and they'd be like, even though my brother 00:15:46.000 --> 00:15:49.000 was a Magic Johnson fan who had HIV. However, 00:15:49.539 --> 00:15:52.879 if someone in our community had it, you know, 00:15:52.879 --> 00:15:54.320 they got it. They deserved it. That's right. 00:15:54.539 --> 00:15:57.700 But Magic Johnson was. having sex with all these 00:15:57.700 --> 00:15:59.860 women right and a basketball player was cool 00:15:59.860 --> 00:16:02.620 yeah and they would look at like gay people on 00:16:02.620 --> 00:16:06.059 tv and be like yeah yeah yeah and that was the 00:16:06.059 --> 00:16:07.820 household like i grew up and it's just one of 00:16:07.820 --> 00:16:09.720 those things like we didn't dare to say yeah 00:16:09.720 --> 00:16:11.840 say certain words and i remember even now like 00:16:11.840 --> 00:16:14.519 admitting like i felt with badges you either 00:16:14.519 --> 00:16:17.080 had to be gay or that and i'm bisexual my wife 00:16:17.080 --> 00:16:19.039 is bisexual yeah and it's one of those things 00:16:19.039 --> 00:16:21.179 that has taken me years because of the stigma 00:16:21.179 --> 00:16:23.659 we had growing up Because people would be like, 00:16:23.700 --> 00:16:25.740 you can't be both, and things like that. But 00:16:25.740 --> 00:16:28.639 now, and thanks to your generation for helping 00:16:28.639 --> 00:16:30.779 us get rid of those labels, I'm very comfortable 00:16:30.779 --> 00:16:34.139 admitting that I'm attracted to both sexes. I 00:16:34.139 --> 00:16:35.620 just fell in love with a woman I want to spend 00:16:35.620 --> 00:16:37.740 the rest of my life with. And thank you for your 00:16:37.740 --> 00:16:39.820 generation for allowing us to get rid of such 00:16:39.820 --> 00:16:43.620 rigid boundaries. Yeah. Well, we've talked about 00:16:43.620 --> 00:16:45.899 this all the time. It's probably been, well, 00:16:45.980 --> 00:16:48.559 actually, probably in my... relationship with 00:16:48.559 --> 00:16:52.419 you that i spent more time thinking about the 00:16:52.419 --> 00:16:56.320 word queer and finding an enhanced amount of 00:16:56.320 --> 00:17:00.220 comfort because of right the connotations when 00:17:00.220 --> 00:17:04.170 we were younger but really like i don't love 00:17:04.170 --> 00:17:06.670 the label thing either i think those labels can 00:17:06.670 --> 00:17:09.970 divide us more than unite us sometimes especially 00:17:09.970 --> 00:17:12.150 with what's going on with trans and non -binary 00:17:12.150 --> 00:17:15.670 folks so this idea of queer being everything 00:17:15.670 --> 00:17:20.329 else i kind of dig that yeah me too and i think 00:17:20.329 --> 00:17:24.650 human behavior and experience is so diverse yeah 00:17:24.650 --> 00:17:28.349 that by attempting to fit a like set group of 00:17:28.349 --> 00:17:32.269 labels onto it you are sort of minimizing those 00:17:32.269 --> 00:17:36.259 experiences and limiting individuals to a set 00:17:36.259 --> 00:17:38.819 of behavioral patterns, right? Well, remember, 00:17:39.039 --> 00:17:42.019 as the clinical social worker, you and I have 00:17:42.019 --> 00:17:46.259 also talked about those labels of depression, 00:17:46.539 --> 00:17:50.640 anxiety, bipolar. Or even diabetic. Or in the 00:17:50.640 --> 00:17:54.500 medical world, right? There's something a little 00:17:54.500 --> 00:17:58.839 too pathological and a little too, that diagnostic 00:17:58.839 --> 00:18:03.359 piece of these labels. We all know that there 00:18:03.359 --> 00:18:06.640 were times not that long ago where homosexuality 00:18:06.640 --> 00:18:09.799 was a mental health diagnosis. Gender identity 00:18:09.799 --> 00:18:14.460 disorder. That these pieces were meant to divide 00:18:14.460 --> 00:18:20.680 and this pathological view of our identities. 00:18:21.000 --> 00:18:23.980 So all the more reason that I've been, even as 00:18:23.980 --> 00:18:26.980 a clinician, gravitating more towards queer, 00:18:27.240 --> 00:18:30.690 non -binary, and not labeling it. Yeah. And I 00:18:30.690 --> 00:18:34.230 think too, like part of queerness is deconstructing 00:18:34.230 --> 00:18:37.609 social norms, right? We are actively attempting 00:18:37.609 --> 00:18:43.450 to sort of abstract reality and pull people away 00:18:43.450 --> 00:18:46.190 from like concrete ideas around gender and concrete 00:18:46.190 --> 00:18:50.890 ideas around sexual orientation. And when we 00:18:50.890 --> 00:18:53.970 then replace those concrete ideas with separate 00:18:53.970 --> 00:18:56.890 concrete ideas, ultimately we're making progress, 00:18:56.970 --> 00:19:00.980 but... Not really. Yeah. Right. Well, we're replacing 00:19:00.980 --> 00:19:02.920 one just to create another. Precisely. Yeah. 00:19:04.799 --> 00:19:06.920 Inspired insights for the two of you. How about 00:19:06.920 --> 00:19:10.660 you go first? I want to like change mine after 00:19:10.660 --> 00:19:12.599 this conversation already. Can I switch it up? 00:19:12.619 --> 00:19:15.279 Of course. Okay. So I was going to do something 00:19:15.279 --> 00:19:17.880 completely different, but just all this talking 00:19:17.880 --> 00:19:20.259 about like pride and identity and things like 00:19:20.259 --> 00:19:22.240 that. It has me thinking about this thing with 00:19:22.240 --> 00:19:26.420 my kids where. Yeah. Oh, wow. I've got three 00:19:26.420 --> 00:19:30.240 birth babies and three stepkids. It's a kind 00:19:30.240 --> 00:19:35.019 of wild and crazy modern. Yeah. But yeah, so 00:19:35.019 --> 00:19:40.259 all the time, like they are always talking about 00:19:40.259 --> 00:19:42.140 or I mean, they're not always talking about, 00:19:42.160 --> 00:19:43.640 but they like have these accomplishments that 00:19:43.640 --> 00:19:46.920 they do. Right. And like, I always want to say 00:19:46.920 --> 00:19:50.200 I'm proud of you. But I'm actually really trying 00:19:50.200 --> 00:19:52.960 to shy away from that and be like, you must be 00:19:52.960 --> 00:19:56.019 so proud of yourself. And really like foster 00:19:56.019 --> 00:20:00.700 that sense of like pride. Internalizing. And 00:20:00.700 --> 00:20:05.960 I do think it relates to pride as in like, you 00:20:05.960 --> 00:20:07.460 know, like the pride festival and stuff like 00:20:07.460 --> 00:20:09.940 that. And like it being an opportunity that's 00:20:09.940 --> 00:20:11.720 because sometimes I do think that people think 00:20:11.720 --> 00:20:17.130 it's about being showy to others. rather than 00:20:17.130 --> 00:20:20.430 showing yourself right and it's really i think 00:20:20.430 --> 00:20:23.009 that's what it is about because you know if you 00:20:23.009 --> 00:20:24.069 have a booth there i don't know have you ever 00:20:24.069 --> 00:20:25.670 worked a booth there before or anything like 00:20:25.670 --> 00:20:28.230 at the pride festival i buy social i have you're 00:20:28.230 --> 00:20:31.809 like festivals you're like static and all the 00:20:31.809 --> 00:20:33.829 folks are just coming by you all day long and 00:20:33.829 --> 00:20:37.069 like everybody is just like letting every flag 00:20:37.069 --> 00:20:39.910 yeah everything there there are no two people 00:20:39.910 --> 00:20:42.769 the same like like whatever your jam is like 00:20:42.769 --> 00:20:45.990 you've got it on full display right and it isn't 00:20:45.990 --> 00:20:49.529 about like gathering something from somebody 00:20:49.529 --> 00:20:52.349 else so much as it is like this day where you 00:20:52.349 --> 00:20:54.150 come out and show the world who you are. That's 00:20:54.150 --> 00:20:56.349 right. Right. Yeah. Right. Absolutely. Yeah. 00:20:56.410 --> 00:21:00.349 I love that. I think I and me and Chris both 00:21:00.349 --> 00:21:03.210 have talked a lot about in previous episodes, 00:21:03.289 --> 00:21:07.609 this idea of deriving like social gratification, 00:21:07.869 --> 00:21:12.289 not externally, but internally. And I think pride 00:21:12.289 --> 00:21:16.369 is beautiful, not because it is a display of 00:21:16.369 --> 00:21:19.650 queer identity. to people outside of the queer 00:21:19.650 --> 00:21:22.450 community, but rather because it is an opportunity 00:21:22.450 --> 00:21:27.930 for queer individuals to show themselves to themselves, 00:21:28.190 --> 00:21:32.630 right? Like really exist as an individual and 00:21:32.630 --> 00:21:36.089 just let it all loose, right? Which is what you 00:21:36.089 --> 00:21:37.410 were pointing out. And like test the boundaries. 00:21:37.509 --> 00:21:41.130 Test, yeah, totally. Like how far am I into this 00:21:41.130 --> 00:21:43.829 or that or whatever? Like we're just really putting 00:21:43.829 --> 00:21:48.140 it all out there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Every June, 00:21:48.500 --> 00:21:52.119 I talk with a young person, inevitably, who it's 00:21:52.119 --> 00:21:55.059 their first Pride. And even just wearing that 00:21:55.059 --> 00:21:59.160 T -shirt or those colors or the flag around there, 00:21:59.220 --> 00:22:04.240 you see they're standing a little bit taller. 00:22:04.539 --> 00:22:06.880 Their shoulders are a little bit more relaxed. 00:22:07.059 --> 00:22:10.380 Like for many of the young people in our community, 00:22:10.619 --> 00:22:14.519 it's the first time. and it's the first time 00:22:14.519 --> 00:22:17.900 they've seen others so that representation piece 00:22:17.900 --> 00:22:20.740 community we spend a lot of time talking about 00:22:20.740 --> 00:22:23.279 community building yeah that's the one downside 00:22:23.279 --> 00:22:25.619 of us not having a gay bar anymore i know is 00:22:25.619 --> 00:22:28.400 like you could walk into like it was kind of 00:22:28.400 --> 00:22:30.220 cool at first because it's like you know like 00:22:30.220 --> 00:22:32.119 everybody's all hanging out together but then 00:22:32.119 --> 00:22:35.339 you also lose this sense of like you walk in 00:22:35.339 --> 00:22:36.880 and you have an idea that everybody's on the 00:22:36.880 --> 00:22:39.900 same page as you yeah yeah well i always wonder 00:22:39.900 --> 00:22:41.640 the folks that are saying that like we don't 00:22:41.640 --> 00:22:44.880 need a gay bar because They're not gay. They're 00:22:44.880 --> 00:22:47.339 not queer, right? So why don't you ask the queer 00:22:47.339 --> 00:22:50.440 folks in your community what we would like, and 00:22:50.440 --> 00:22:53.619 whether it's a bar, a bookstore, a coffee shop. 00:22:54.000 --> 00:23:00.400 I absolutely miss having a space that is ours, 00:23:00.640 --> 00:23:04.259 right? I feel, however, though, obviously politics 00:23:04.259 --> 00:23:06.940 have changed. And as you were stating, that our 00:23:06.940 --> 00:23:09.660 community is kind of... were shying away more 00:23:09.660 --> 00:23:12.339 um because of certain things and all the things 00:23:12.339 --> 00:23:14.519 online about transgender and especially what's 00:23:14.519 --> 00:23:16.859 going on in the state of maine i remember working 00:23:16.859 --> 00:23:19.960 at alternative bars and then i felt like we accepted 00:23:19.960 --> 00:23:22.140 it so much we didn't need those bars anymore 00:23:22.140 --> 00:23:26.420 yeah like i wasn't as like i felt proud to hold 00:23:26.420 --> 00:23:29.279 my wife's hand anyway yeah and i just felt like 00:23:29.279 --> 00:23:31.059 we like meeting people that we kind of shied 00:23:31.059 --> 00:23:32.759 away from it because i felt like we were more 00:23:32.759 --> 00:23:36.700 accepting like five six years ago where kind 00:23:36.700 --> 00:23:39.279 of we felt like we didn't need but now we need 00:23:39.279 --> 00:23:41.420 those spaces yeah because of yeah we're taking 00:23:41.420 --> 00:23:43.579 such a shift and i think too what i thought you 00:23:43.579 --> 00:23:44.720 where i thought you were going to go with that 00:23:44.720 --> 00:23:46.839 like you know like when you're saying like we 00:23:46.839 --> 00:23:48.640 don't need it i was thinking like i thought you 00:23:48.640 --> 00:23:50.359 were gonna say because you were married but like 00:23:50.359 --> 00:23:52.900 no it's like like we need it more because what 00:23:52.900 --> 00:23:56.900 i was gonna say like if you are a single gay 00:23:56.900 --> 00:24:00.000 person in this community like you know like and 00:24:00.000 --> 00:24:03.490 you Are in like a any like bar or restaurant 00:24:03.490 --> 00:24:05.569 or whatever like it might be hard for you to 00:24:05.569 --> 00:24:16.049 identify like yeah Yeah, let me just offer this 00:24:16.049 --> 00:24:20.410 though that I Don't feel like we need more queer 00:24:20.410 --> 00:24:24.970 spaces in in town Because of acceptance from 00:24:24.970 --> 00:24:27.670 straight folks we need more queer spaces in town 00:24:28.299 --> 00:24:30.599 for other queer folks yeah like you can meet 00:24:30.599 --> 00:24:34.299 people like 100 and be out and seen and modeling 00:24:34.299 --> 00:24:37.619 that we are living our lives just like all the 00:24:37.619 --> 00:24:59.880 other straight places around Welcome to our nightly 00:24:59.880 --> 00:25:05.269 conversation. sex parties yeah taxes we're working 00:25:05.269 --> 00:25:07.309 hard like when we were driving to an ice skating 00:25:07.309 --> 00:25:09.950 event and we were just that basic married couple 00:25:09.950 --> 00:25:13.009 like 100 if we were not a woman and a woman people 00:25:13.009 --> 00:25:15.349 would not even bat an eye at us they would probably 00:25:15.349 --> 00:25:17.970 actually be like this is the ideal american couple 00:25:17.970 --> 00:25:20.829 yeah like right here yeah because we're two women 00:25:20.829 --> 00:25:23.990 and we both work in health care we're successful 00:25:23.990 --> 00:25:26.470 we do a lot for our community but we were driving 00:25:26.470 --> 00:25:29.410 in the car today and so my and we were just like 00:25:29.410 --> 00:25:32.539 how are we hurting anybody right you know we're 00:25:32.539 --> 00:25:36.619 we're not we're not like yeah like how is our 00:25:36.619 --> 00:25:39.059 sexual identity in some ways that gets to what 00:25:39.059 --> 00:25:41.039 my inspired insight was going to be which is 00:25:41.039 --> 00:25:44.259 that people need to care Less about more and 00:25:44.259 --> 00:25:46.400 more about less, right? We'll share the insight. 00:25:46.660 --> 00:25:49.319 That's what we'll share. And it goes to your 00:25:49.319 --> 00:25:51.279 insight, too. You were talking about gay girl 00:25:51.279 --> 00:25:54.339 labels because when I am with my wife, I don't 00:25:54.339 --> 00:25:55.839 think of us as a gay couple. I just think of 00:25:55.839 --> 00:25:58.019 us as a married couple. Right, right. She's my 00:25:58.019 --> 00:26:00.319 emergency contact, and unfortunately, I'm hers. 00:26:00.480 --> 00:26:05.059 Yeah. Right, this idea that gay marriage is a 00:26:05.059 --> 00:26:08.420 different thing than marriage. It's just a marriage. 00:26:08.559 --> 00:26:11.750 Right. on like and i get we need our labels but 00:26:11.750 --> 00:26:13.569 like they're just literally in the car on 202 00:26:13.569 --> 00:26:17.009 driving to alfond arena yeah like going ice skating 00:26:17.009 --> 00:26:19.069 and we're i was like did you do your taxi shot 00:26:19.069 --> 00:26:21.309 yes and i was like and then we just started making 00:26:21.309 --> 00:26:23.410 jokes about like the low percentage of transgender 00:26:23.410 --> 00:26:26.289 athletes and she's like oh no transgenders are 00:26:26.289 --> 00:26:28.630 going to ruin sports yeah and then we just kept 00:26:28.630 --> 00:26:31.710 sarcastically punning about how really why are 00:26:31.710 --> 00:26:34.619 people so threatened yeah by our community and 00:26:34.619 --> 00:26:36.339 it just we're very thankful for like downtown 00:26:36.339 --> 00:26:38.319 bangor because that's where i met my wife and 00:26:38.319 --> 00:26:41.200 just always be oh yeah she made my coffee um 00:26:41.200 --> 00:26:43.519 and it was one of those things that downtown 00:26:43.519 --> 00:26:45.519 has always been such a big staple in allowing 00:26:45.519 --> 00:26:47.819 me to be comfortable with who i am so thank you 00:26:47.819 --> 00:26:50.299 downtown bangor and the community and the small 00:26:50.299 --> 00:26:53.000 businesses and things like that yeah in my 40s 00:26:53.000 --> 00:26:56.039 and this i remember going to my first pride it 00:26:56.039 --> 00:26:57.579 changed like you said i stood a little bit taller 00:26:58.220 --> 00:27:00.920 and i stood a little bit more proud so yeah so 00:27:00.920 --> 00:27:02.880 you know and we have to remember those things 00:27:02.880 --> 00:27:06.359 100 that and one thing also on top of that i 00:27:06.359 --> 00:27:08.160 remember because i've marched with them i used 00:27:08.160 --> 00:27:10.140 to work for penobscot community healthcare yeah 00:27:10.140 --> 00:27:13.619 a great non -profit organization and lori um 00:27:13.619 --> 00:27:17.079 dwyer the um the president yeah and she marched 00:27:17.079 --> 00:27:18.900 with us last year yeah like we know you're straight 00:27:18.900 --> 00:27:21.000 and stuff like that but she was just so supportive 00:27:21.000 --> 00:27:23.039 like i think i may have been the only me and 00:27:23.039 --> 00:27:25.359 one other gay person and then 10 other people 00:27:25.359 --> 00:27:27.819 from chc who are just there to support us and 00:27:27.819 --> 00:27:30.579 show their face. And I was just like, this person 00:27:30.579 --> 00:27:32.819 makes more money than I will ever see. She's 00:27:32.819 --> 00:27:34.960 a lawyer. She's way more educated than my dumb 00:27:34.960 --> 00:27:38.519 green bush ass. And I'm just like, and here we 00:27:38.519 --> 00:27:41.480 are shooting the shit. We're best friends. And 00:27:41.480 --> 00:27:43.380 she has no, she's just like, yes, I'm here to 00:27:43.380 --> 00:27:45.880 support my community. And I just felt so good 00:27:45.880 --> 00:27:47.519 there. And that's a piece of pride, right? It's 00:27:47.519 --> 00:27:49.900 sort of, there's a great equalization that happens, 00:27:50.019 --> 00:27:52.319 whether it's members of the community or our 00:27:52.319 --> 00:27:55.920 allies. folks are folks and and all that other 00:27:55.920 --> 00:27:58.660 stuff just kind of gets checked at the car as 00:27:58.660 --> 00:28:01.880 you're heading to the parade yeah yeah you were 00:28:01.880 --> 00:28:05.779 gonna ask a question i think um i was just when 00:28:05.779 --> 00:28:08.799 you said earlier uh that you and your wife were 00:28:08.799 --> 00:28:12.579 like the ideal american couple um which is fantastic 00:28:12.579 --> 00:28:15.299 good for you guys and i mean just what i know 00:28:15.299 --> 00:28:17.420 by stereotypes well yeah yeah obviously you make 00:28:17.420 --> 00:28:20.059 money you pay and i i guess like you know that 00:28:20.059 --> 00:28:21.660 may change but you know like you put it on paper 00:28:22.029 --> 00:28:24.809 we have kids we have dogs yeah i think me as 00:28:24.809 --> 00:28:28.269 sort of like a radical revolutionary child right 00:28:28.269 --> 00:28:32.509 is more in favor of a complete rejection of the 00:28:32.509 --> 00:28:35.490 social ideology and like the nuclear family which 00:28:35.490 --> 00:28:37.930 has resulted in persecution of queer individuals 00:28:37.930 --> 00:28:42.150 yeah like we have so much social schema around 00:28:42.150 --> 00:28:45.390 and expectations that exist as prerequisites 00:28:45.390 --> 00:28:50.369 outside of even queer identity and for me i think 00:28:50.369 --> 00:28:54.950 that the social fabric that we have is extremely 00:28:54.950 --> 00:28:58.470 cumbersome. Yeah. And like, even if you were 00:28:58.470 --> 00:29:01.029 having crazy sex parties, are you hurting anybody? 00:29:01.210 --> 00:29:13.410 Exactly. No. Right. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. 00:29:13.509 --> 00:29:20.230 Like, I don't know. I just feel like. I think 00:29:20.230 --> 00:29:24.569 part of queerness for me is a rejection of the 00:29:24.569 --> 00:29:28.390 concrete social fabric that we have around us. 00:29:28.390 --> 00:29:33.470 It is inherently a revolutionary experience as 00:29:33.470 --> 00:29:36.450 we sort of attempt to defy social norms. And 00:29:36.450 --> 00:29:40.690 I know that you know what I'm about to say, but 00:29:40.690 --> 00:29:44.109 just to again go on record, that's why they fear 00:29:44.109 --> 00:29:46.740 us. Yes. Because we... And that's why I wanted 00:29:46.740 --> 00:29:49.099 to make the statement that we are very boring. 00:29:49.299 --> 00:29:52.950 Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Like, I trust you. like have 00:29:52.950 --> 00:29:54.730 fun do your things if you're not hurting someone 00:29:54.730 --> 00:29:57.990 else or causing harm to others and doing things 00:29:57.990 --> 00:30:00.089 and i agree with your statement about that too 00:30:00.089 --> 00:30:02.289 but i also wanted to share my experience because 00:30:02.289 --> 00:30:04.869 people have this idea that we are doing these 00:30:04.869 --> 00:30:07.769 crazy things because we are in same sexual at 00:30:07.769 --> 00:30:10.750 least like just the reality is you probably are 00:30:10.750 --> 00:30:14.250 but straight people are too right yeah yeah about 00:30:14.250 --> 00:30:19.390 like my friends who are straight yeah yeah i 00:30:19.390 --> 00:30:22.210 mean people go through phases I say explore your 00:30:22.210 --> 00:30:27.309 sexuality. Yeah. The best way to turn society 00:30:27.309 --> 00:30:30.529 against one another is develop an other. And 00:30:30.529 --> 00:30:33.990 today, queer folks, especially trans, non -binary 00:30:33.990 --> 00:30:37.829 folks, are the other. And it's not lost on me 00:30:37.829 --> 00:30:41.869 that the target of these attacks are young people 00:30:41.869 --> 00:30:45.630 who are rejecting the norms and the establishments 00:30:45.630 --> 00:30:49.470 that the older folks make a lot of money off 00:30:49.470 --> 00:30:53.170 of. I agree. And I think the underlying assumption 00:30:53.170 --> 00:30:58.390 that is like sort of the basis of conservatism 00:30:58.390 --> 00:31:02.990 as an ideology is that normal is good, right? 00:31:03.029 --> 00:31:05.809 What is currently happening is inherently beneficial. 00:31:05.970 --> 00:31:10.089 And I spent a lot of time reinforcing in my mind 00:31:10.089 --> 00:31:13.970 that no, the normal is not fantastic. What is 00:31:13.970 --> 00:31:16.130 the normal for you when you state that? I'm just 00:31:16.130 --> 00:31:19.819 curious. patriarchal, capitalistic society in 00:31:19.819 --> 00:31:23.599 which individuals are encouraged to maximize 00:31:23.599 --> 00:31:27.460 their fiscal benefit by commodifying their own 00:31:27.460 --> 00:31:31.220 labor. Yeah. So exactly what's happening right 00:31:31.220 --> 00:31:38.220 now. Right. Yeah. Welcome to Sorin. This is more 00:31:38.220 --> 00:31:40.660 of my broader critique of capitalism as an economic 00:31:40.660 --> 00:31:44.619 system. Yeah. Yeah. But I think, Sorin, what 00:31:44.619 --> 00:31:46.460 you're saying, though, is that... That's a great 00:31:46.460 --> 00:31:53.670 story. I'll speak for myself. My husband and 00:31:53.670 --> 00:31:58.130 I often say, this isn't normal. We see things 00:31:58.130 --> 00:32:03.009 on TV. What's happening today isn't normal. But 00:32:03.009 --> 00:32:06.809 your point is, history is repeating itself. This 00:32:06.809 --> 00:32:11.490 has played out as a student of history, as you 00:32:11.490 --> 00:32:15.369 are. I think your perspective is this is pretty 00:32:15.369 --> 00:32:18.089 normal. This is exactly what's happened hundreds 00:32:18.089 --> 00:32:22.049 of times over thousands of years. There is nothing 00:32:22.049 --> 00:32:24.349 unique about what is happening in America right 00:32:24.349 --> 00:32:27.930 now. And there is nothing unique about the persecution 00:32:27.930 --> 00:32:31.109 of minorities. It is what humans will do when 00:32:31.109 --> 00:32:34.990 they are attempting to maintain power. And every 00:32:34.990 --> 00:32:40.150 human in power is trying to maintain it. So how 00:32:40.150 --> 00:32:45.009 to then... For your perspectives, resilience 00:32:45.009 --> 00:32:49.269 is a giant protective factor, right? We know 00:32:49.269 --> 00:32:51.950 that. We've talked about this. What does resilience 00:32:51.950 --> 00:32:57.829 look like in 2025 in the context of pride? Why 00:32:57.829 --> 00:33:05.839 is this year's pride so pivotal? Mean I can speak 00:33:05.839 --> 00:33:08.259 as a parent on the subject of and as a former 00:33:08.259 --> 00:33:10.299 teacher on the subject of resilience like that 00:33:10.299 --> 00:33:12.619 This other man and I found at the school in Boston. 00:33:12.880 --> 00:33:15.160 It was amazing and wouldn't one time We were 00:33:15.160 --> 00:33:16.200 just sitting around trying to be like, okay, 00:33:16.240 --> 00:33:17.980 like what what actually makes the kids successful 00:33:17.980 --> 00:33:21.019 in this world? We were like grit. Yeah, you know 00:33:21.019 --> 00:33:24.640 and great I think really translates into resilience. 00:33:24.819 --> 00:33:29.240 It's not it's somebody who Faces a challenge 00:33:29.240 --> 00:33:33.380 and instead of folding up and going away, which 00:33:33.380 --> 00:33:35.940 is you know, and context of pride i think what 00:33:35.940 --> 00:33:38.650 people would hope is that like as a society we're 00:33:38.650 --> 00:33:40.309 facing a challenge right now and they're hoping 00:33:40.309 --> 00:33:42.930 that everybody um that is viewed as a threat 00:33:42.930 --> 00:33:46.230 will fold up and go away um but what you actually 00:33:46.230 --> 00:33:48.009 need is that grit or that resilience and you 00:33:48.009 --> 00:33:50.650 need to like dig in and be like i'm still here 00:33:50.650 --> 00:33:52.670 right like you know like yeah i'm still gonna 00:33:52.670 --> 00:33:55.029 have my parade and i'm still gonna wear my rainbow 00:33:55.029 --> 00:33:57.269 outfit or my box ears or whatever your thing 00:33:57.269 --> 00:34:00.549 is right my crown yeah your crown right don't 00:34:00.549 --> 00:34:03.329 let anybody steal the crown right yeah i mean 00:34:03.329 --> 00:34:05.049 that's that's just it and it doesn't even have 00:34:05.049 --> 00:34:07.779 to be like a like resilience isn't necessarily 00:34:07.779 --> 00:34:11.760 like actively fighting against something it's 00:34:11.760 --> 00:34:15.079 just like pulling together in the core of who 00:34:15.079 --> 00:34:17.019 you are you know yeah yeah it's like it's that 00:34:17.019 --> 00:34:19.460 internal versus external i love it yeah what 00:34:19.460 --> 00:34:21.559 about for you for me and being a member of the 00:34:21.559 --> 00:34:23.840 pride community and things like that is i'm just 00:34:23.840 --> 00:34:26.280 going to piggyback what you said even with my 00:34:26.280 --> 00:34:29.239 studying of martial arts i realized that we need 00:34:29.239 --> 00:34:31.539 to kill them with kindness yeah it's like um 00:34:31.539 --> 00:34:33.440 there's an old saying that it's um it's better 00:34:33.440 --> 00:34:36.989 to be a gardener a warrior in a garden than a 00:34:36.989 --> 00:34:39.590 gardener in war yeah what that means is better 00:34:39.590 --> 00:34:42.250 to have skills with you in a peaceful element 00:34:42.250 --> 00:34:44.829 and the reason why we need pride is because we 00:34:44.829 --> 00:34:47.590 are a target right now like when you you cannot 00:34:47.590 --> 00:34:50.710 open up our daily news whether uh and see whether 00:34:50.710 --> 00:34:53.630 comments about the transgender community or things 00:34:53.630 --> 00:34:56.170 like that and just like there was literally a 00:34:56.170 --> 00:34:58.630 what did they have like a rally against janet 00:34:58.630 --> 00:35:01.449 mills like like and i and it's just one of those 00:35:01.449 --> 00:35:04.500 things is we are the minority again And we need 00:35:04.500 --> 00:35:06.199 something to show people. And we're not doing 00:35:06.199 --> 00:35:09.480 it in a hurtful fashion. We're just showing them 00:35:09.480 --> 00:35:11.420 that we're going to continue marching. We're 00:35:11.420 --> 00:35:13.199 going to continue being proud of who we are. 00:35:13.260 --> 00:35:15.719 We're not hurting anybody. We're not threatening 00:35:15.719 --> 00:35:17.739 you. If anything, we're going to make you happier. 00:35:17.760 --> 00:35:19.840 We're going to show you what love looks like. 00:35:20.059 --> 00:35:22.780 And things like that. And also, without being 00:35:22.780 --> 00:35:25.760 so too, is that... We have each other's backs 00:35:25.760 --> 00:35:27.820 and I feel like very safe I know that there was 00:35:27.820 --> 00:35:29.780 an article released in the Bangalore Daily a 00:35:29.780 --> 00:35:32.639 few days ago Someone said like you feel they 00:35:32.639 --> 00:35:35.119 didn't feel safe. Yeah. Did you read that? Yeah. 00:35:35.260 --> 00:35:37.539 Yeah, it was an older gentleman Yeah, I believe 00:35:37.539 --> 00:35:39.360 and things like that But I just want to promise 00:35:39.360 --> 00:35:41.619 you this look at look at the cameras Everyone 00:35:41.619 --> 00:35:43.480 is gonna be safe this year is that we're gonna 00:35:43.480 --> 00:35:45.760 kill him with kindness. Yeah things like that. 00:35:45.900 --> 00:35:47.679 And I think a lot of people, if you are worrying 00:35:47.679 --> 00:35:50.039 about your safety, I know that we're going to 00:35:50.039 --> 00:35:53.179 make sure. Yeah, by coming to, is pride safe 00:35:53.179 --> 00:35:57.340 to go to? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I want to secure, 00:35:57.500 --> 00:35:59.940 and even that we, yes, we're going to make it 00:35:59.940 --> 00:36:03.440 the safest, most enjoyable experience we can. 00:36:03.800 --> 00:36:05.900 And so by being resilient doesn't mean we have 00:36:05.900 --> 00:36:08.619 to be violent or forceful. It just shows that 00:36:08.619 --> 00:36:11.679 we're not scared. That's right. And I like to, 00:36:11.820 --> 00:36:14.000 you know, I always, I don't know that we've ever 00:36:14.000 --> 00:36:19.869 talked. about this. Maybe we have on air. During 00:36:19.869 --> 00:36:24.210 COVID, your younger brother, who our listeners 00:36:24.210 --> 00:36:28.469 and viewers have met last season, essentially 00:36:28.469 --> 00:36:32.110 threw a pride parade for you with a drive -by 00:36:32.110 --> 00:36:36.670 car parade during COVID. It was really cool. 00:36:37.190 --> 00:36:40.690 I think about that a lot for a lot of reasons. 00:36:40.949 --> 00:36:45.550 One of the reasons I think about it is that pride 00:36:45.550 --> 00:36:48.110 can be what you like from an event perspective 00:36:48.110 --> 00:36:50.969 pride can be what you need it to be right you 00:36:50.969 --> 00:36:54.130 can march you can stand on the sidelines you 00:36:54.130 --> 00:36:57.690 can sit in your car you can stream it right it's 00:36:57.690 --> 00:37:00.269 whatever volunteer you can volunteer you can 00:37:00.269 --> 00:37:04.070 volunteer to keep the yeah fundraising because 00:37:04.070 --> 00:37:06.070 we're still doing fundraising and like things 00:37:06.070 --> 00:37:08.289 like that yeah i love about the downtown partnership 00:37:08.780 --> 00:37:10.739 i've had so many of the small businesses be like 00:37:10.739 --> 00:37:13.159 where i was nervous because of all the media 00:37:13.159 --> 00:37:14.840 we're getting against certain members of our 00:37:14.840 --> 00:37:17.280 community i was like who's going to support us 00:37:17.280 --> 00:37:19.800 and this goes back to the gossiping thing it's 00:37:19.800 --> 00:37:22.099 like and then going directly and talking to these 00:37:22.099 --> 00:37:24.320 owners of these businesses yeah not listening 00:37:24.320 --> 00:37:26.280 to rumors and things like that and finding out 00:37:26.280 --> 00:37:28.880 we would love to we've always supported you let 00:37:28.880 --> 00:37:31.309 me know what we can do and it's just like Yeah, 00:37:31.309 --> 00:37:33.150 we're really joining a community like there's 00:37:33.150 --> 00:37:35.409 more people out there than just like our allies 00:37:35.409 --> 00:37:39.489 in small business also a rally Right. The loudest 00:37:39.489 --> 00:37:42.809 voices in the room are often not the majority 00:37:42.809 --> 00:37:46.070 of voices in the room So as we start thinking 00:37:46.070 --> 00:37:48.130 about wrapping I'd love to let you both kind 00:37:48.130 --> 00:37:51.429 of talk about what do you need like if folks 00:37:51.429 --> 00:37:56.190 are wanting to really embrace allyship and community 00:37:56.889 --> 00:37:59.690 What are some suggestions? What do you need from 00:37:59.690 --> 00:38:03.250 folks this year? I mean, I think folks showing 00:38:03.250 --> 00:38:05.809 up with their talent, whatever it may be, is 00:38:05.809 --> 00:38:08.110 really helpful. Because sometimes you don't have 00:38:08.110 --> 00:38:10.510 money to give, but you have a skill, right? Like 00:38:10.510 --> 00:38:12.849 tables. We need tables. Yeah, physically. And 00:38:12.849 --> 00:38:15.590 there's tattoos. We're not asking necessarily 00:38:15.590 --> 00:38:17.829 for money. We know money's tight right now. Why 00:38:17.829 --> 00:38:19.429 haven't our egg prices dropped? I'm just still 00:38:19.429 --> 00:38:22.809 waiting for them. Thanks for my groceries. Maybe 00:38:22.809 --> 00:38:25.130 I'll take out our credit cards for groceries 00:38:25.130 --> 00:38:28.440 today. But point being is, like, we're not asking 00:38:28.440 --> 00:38:30.960 for necessarily money. Like, we have Autumn at 00:38:30.960 --> 00:38:32.780 Three Grace Tattoo. She's going to be doing a 00:38:32.780 --> 00:38:35.380 tattoo. Oh, I love Autumn. Yeah. I love Autumn. 00:38:35.539 --> 00:38:38.340 Autumn! She's on the floor, too. Yeah. Autumn. 00:38:38.880 --> 00:38:41.360 Anyway, but the point being is, like, I think 00:38:41.360 --> 00:38:43.380 people assume it's just a financial thing. And 00:38:43.380 --> 00:38:46.010 we don't get paid. like when i the board of directors 00:38:46.010 --> 00:38:48.690 nobody gets paid no and it's one of those things 00:38:48.690 --> 00:38:50.829 is that we just need whether it's a safe place 00:38:50.829 --> 00:38:52.530 like we were talking about a safe place where 00:38:52.530 --> 00:38:55.110 people can meet for coffee yep um we have the 00:38:55.110 --> 00:38:57.730 noodle bar locked in for a drag show cool um 00:38:57.730 --> 00:38:59.889 and they were jira thank you and ashley down 00:38:59.889 --> 00:39:02.190 at the key room um but just sometimes we need 00:39:02.190 --> 00:39:05.449 supplies yeah like you know and things like that 00:39:05.449 --> 00:39:06.909 and if you want if you do have money and you 00:39:06.909 --> 00:39:09.010 do want to donate um you can also write that 00:39:09.010 --> 00:39:10.829 off on your taxes because what are we a five 00:39:10.829 --> 00:39:12.969 you're a 501 yeah so we're a non -profit and 00:39:12.969 --> 00:39:15.260 you can get like a letter back showing that you 00:39:15.260 --> 00:39:17.159 made a donation oh yeah and you can write that 00:39:17.159 --> 00:39:19.519 off in your taxes so like even if you're one 00:39:19.519 --> 00:39:21.460 of those people who need to get rid of some money 00:39:21.460 --> 00:39:24.260 to carry we would love to take your support um 00:39:24.260 --> 00:39:26.219 and we promise that it's just going to go to 00:39:26.219 --> 00:39:28.800 great use like merch yeah and there's some smaller 00:39:28.800 --> 00:39:30.760 like fundraising things going on too like the 00:39:30.760 --> 00:39:33.380 block one that's coming out right yeah so you 00:39:33.380 --> 00:39:35.179 like buy a block and you decorate the block and 00:39:35.179 --> 00:39:36.599 the blocks are going to be out for like decoration 00:39:36.599 --> 00:39:38.820 i think it's five dollars ten dollars ten bucks 00:39:38.820 --> 00:39:43.239 ten bucks right um so like i mean any at any 00:39:43.239 --> 00:39:45.639 level for that like financial level of support 00:39:45.639 --> 00:39:48.780 to like help just make sure it happens i mean 00:39:48.780 --> 00:39:50.639 we talked a little bit about insurance before 00:39:50.639 --> 00:39:52.780 and that's one of the like most bizarre things 00:39:52.780 --> 00:39:54.960 like having been in this role for almost eight 00:39:54.960 --> 00:39:58.980 years like the way that insurance has gone up 00:39:58.980 --> 00:40:03.300 for events is really wild. And this is a big 00:40:03.300 --> 00:40:06.639 event. It involves closing streets and public 00:40:06.639 --> 00:40:10.179 spaces and all those things. So insurance is 00:40:10.179 --> 00:40:12.360 a little bit high. We will make sure when this 00:40:12.360 --> 00:40:15.320 episode airs, we will put links. I'm pointing 00:40:15.320 --> 00:40:19.119 like I'm an influencer. But yeah, we'll put all 00:40:19.119 --> 00:40:21.360 kinds of links and make sure our listeners know. 00:40:22.030 --> 00:40:25.289 where to go, who to go to, and just to offer 00:40:25.289 --> 00:40:27.829 their support. Because I know that we, I joke, 00:40:27.969 --> 00:40:29.429 we don't have any listeners. We have a lot of 00:40:29.429 --> 00:40:32.070 listeners. You do have a lot of listeners. Yeah, 00:40:32.510 --> 00:40:35.090 so I know. You're awesome. Yeah, I know they're 00:40:35.090 --> 00:40:37.010 going to want to help out. So thank you both 00:40:37.010 --> 00:40:39.969 for coming so much and talking this up and talking 00:40:39.969 --> 00:40:42.429 to us about it and touching on these pieces of 00:40:42.429 --> 00:40:45.110 allyship and resilience. And I just want to share 00:40:45.110 --> 00:40:47.289 one more thing, too. We're also going to be linking 00:40:47.289 --> 00:40:49.760 up with the animal shelters. We're going to also 00:40:49.760 --> 00:40:53.139 be showing off adoptable dogs. I love that. Yeah, 00:40:53.159 --> 00:40:55.440 yeah. Carrie, she has a great grooming place 00:40:55.440 --> 00:40:58.920 right up the road. She and her wife are going 00:40:58.920 --> 00:41:00.699 to be helping out with ramps. And also we're 00:41:00.699 --> 00:41:03.219 going to be doing like adoptable dogs. Cool. 00:41:03.420 --> 00:41:05.619 So, yeah. So we just wanted to share that too. 00:41:05.679 --> 00:41:07.840 Yeah. By our community, we're also going to help 00:41:07.840 --> 00:41:10.099 other communities. I love that. Such as our shelter 00:41:10.099 --> 00:41:12.219 animals. which I'm really excited about. I know 00:41:12.219 --> 00:41:15.920 we're pup people, so. Yeah. Well, Soren, thank 00:41:15.920 --> 00:41:17.780 you so much for helping us with this conversation. 00:41:17.840 --> 00:41:19.980 Last thought, last word, I'll give it to you. 00:41:21.440 --> 00:41:26.039 I am so glad that there are members of the community 00:41:26.039 --> 00:41:29.079 still willing to put on events in a turbulent 00:41:29.079 --> 00:41:33.420 environment. And I think it's important to still 00:41:33.420 --> 00:41:38.679 maintain that this is normal, right? And like... 00:41:39.119 --> 00:41:42.440 We need to start denormalizing hate and normalizing 00:41:42.440 --> 00:41:47.239 love, which is the whole idea. But yeah. Thank 00:41:47.239 --> 00:41:49.820 you, Soren. I've been Chris McLaughlin. I've 00:41:49.820 --> 00:41:52.480 been Soren Peterson. Thanks to our guests. Yes. 00:41:52.579 --> 00:41:57.079 And we'll see you next week. Bye. Bye. The Inspired 00:41:57.079 --> 00:41:59.639 Insights Podcast has been brought to you by Inspired 00:41:59.639 --> 00:42:02.599 Consulting Group, LLC. Edited and produced by 00:42:02.599 --> 00:42:05.539 Amanda Seidel and Derek Harder. Marketing support 00:42:05.539 --> 00:42:07.639 for the Inspired Insights Podcast by Elizabeth 00:42:07.639 --> 00:42:11.079 Keenan. Music by Derek Herter. Please visit www 00:42:11.079 --> 00:42:15.900 .inspiredcg .com to learn more. Copyright 2025. 00:42:16.260 --> 00:42:17.199 All rights reserved.