WEBVTT 00:00:00.010 --> 00:00:02.750 The inspired insights podcast is for informational 00:00:02.750 --> 00:00:05.070 and entertainment purposes only and should not 00:00:05.070 --> 00:00:07.570 be considered health advice. This podcast is 00:00:07.570 --> 00:00:09.630 not intended to replace professional medical 00:00:09.630 --> 00:00:12.529 advice. Please note that this podcast may contain 00:00:12.529 --> 00:00:14.970 discussions on sensitive topics such as mental 00:00:14.970 --> 00:00:17.550 illness, suicide, and substance use. If you are 00:00:17.550 --> 00:00:19.969 experiencing a behavior health crisis or need 00:00:19.969 --> 00:00:23.109 support, please contact the 988 Suicide and Crisis 00:00:23.109 --> 00:00:29.050 Lifeline by calling 988 or visiting www .988lifeline 00:00:29.050 --> 00:00:54.740 .org. Sorin, welcome back. Yes, welcome back. 00:00:54.979 --> 00:00:57.320 I have to just draw attention to something first. 00:00:58.060 --> 00:01:03.380 This is absolute brilliance. It's absolute brilliance. 00:01:03.520 --> 00:01:05.680 I'm so excited about it. I was really afraid 00:01:05.680 --> 00:01:08.120 that it was going to look like shit, but it's 00:01:08.120 --> 00:01:10.700 gorgeous. And as I said to you, probably in an 00:01:10.700 --> 00:01:13.099 offensive way, it is better than I imagined it 00:01:13.099 --> 00:01:17.219 would be. Like when I hear craft project, I instantly, 00:01:17.439 --> 00:01:19.620 because I'm not a craft project kind of guy. 00:01:20.170 --> 00:01:22.790 This is gorgeous. And you did this absolutely 00:01:22.790 --> 00:01:27.170 yourself. And for audio listeners, this is a 00:01:27.170 --> 00:01:30.329 flower wall that we've set up behind us in the 00:01:30.329 --> 00:01:33.709 studio. Of course, it's not real flowers, but 00:01:33.709 --> 00:01:36.109 very beautiful nonetheless. And we'll take some 00:01:36.109 --> 00:01:38.390 pictures and we'll put them up on social so our 00:01:38.390 --> 00:01:41.930 audio listeners can view what we're talking about. 00:01:41.969 --> 00:01:43.969 It's beautiful. It changes the whole vibe. I 00:01:43.969 --> 00:01:47.010 love it. I love it. I'm really glad that it came 00:01:47.010 --> 00:01:49.780 out like it did. Me too. Me too. All right. Inspired 00:01:49.780 --> 00:01:56.840 insight of the week for me. So I have used shades 00:01:56.840 --> 00:02:00.959 of this inspired insight from time to time, but 00:02:00.959 --> 00:02:05.739 it is absolutely remaining true for me. And it's 00:02:05.739 --> 00:02:08.719 a theme that you and I have talked about way 00:02:08.719 --> 00:02:12.400 back, even the beginning of season one. And the 00:02:12.400 --> 00:02:19.039 theme of this inspired insight is joy. And the 00:02:19.039 --> 00:02:24.819 importance and the essential role that joy plays 00:02:24.819 --> 00:02:28.800 in our health and our healing and our wellness. 00:02:28.840 --> 00:02:32.439 And I had the opportunity to present a training 00:02:32.439 --> 00:02:37.639 this past week for a local agency here on just 00:02:37.639 --> 00:02:42.490 the importance. of joy and how joy is connected 00:02:42.490 --> 00:02:45.509 to hope and resilience and healing. And last 00:02:45.509 --> 00:02:50.150 week I was in the beautiful state of Ohio presenting 00:02:50.150 --> 00:02:53.849 the LGBTQ plus version of this presentation on 00:02:53.849 --> 00:02:57.430 queer joy and the role that social workers, pediatric 00:02:57.430 --> 00:03:00.590 social workers have to play in supporting queer 00:03:00.590 --> 00:03:04.439 youth and families. in centering joy in their 00:03:04.439 --> 00:03:07.379 lives and just that's such a critical component 00:03:07.379 --> 00:03:11.800 of our work as providers so joy finding joy this 00:03:11.800 --> 00:03:17.560 wall brings me joy i love it i love it your inspired 00:03:17.560 --> 00:03:23.180 insights yes so on a similar kind of topic um 00:03:23.180 --> 00:03:26.300 my inspired insight is more about how to go about 00:03:26.300 --> 00:03:30.919 achieving that joy And I think oftentimes we 00:03:30.919 --> 00:03:36.139 hear a lot about this idea of gratitude and perspective, 00:03:36.379 --> 00:03:40.979 but I think people don't understand fully the 00:03:40.979 --> 00:03:44.080 importance of that and what gratitude as like 00:03:44.080 --> 00:03:48.979 a tool is really doing. And for me, gratitude 00:03:48.979 --> 00:03:54.000 is really about reframing situations and placing 00:03:54.000 --> 00:03:58.060 a stronger emphasis on the positive, right? I 00:03:58.060 --> 00:04:02.379 think especially when we are in a down mood, 00:04:02.520 --> 00:04:05.800 we have a tendency to frame things negatively 00:04:05.800 --> 00:04:08.860 all the time. And I see this in my friends and 00:04:08.860 --> 00:04:13.439 I see this in myself sometimes. We can focus 00:04:13.439 --> 00:04:16.620 exclusively on the negatives of given situations, 00:04:16.839 --> 00:04:20.899 right? And ultimately, I think our perspective 00:04:20.899 --> 00:04:24.819 on the world is guided mainly by our own internal 00:04:24.819 --> 00:04:28.430 thoughts, which we have control of, right? So 00:04:28.430 --> 00:04:34.949 my main idea is framing. How can we as individuals 00:04:34.949 --> 00:04:40.329 take situations and look at them in our minds 00:04:40.329 --> 00:04:44.389 in such a way that we are examining them rationally 00:04:44.389 --> 00:04:48.839 while taking pleasurable emotions out of them 00:04:48.839 --> 00:04:51.959 and not necessarily avoiding the negatives of 00:04:51.959 --> 00:04:54.660 situations but rather seeing the negatives as 00:04:54.660 --> 00:04:57.680 a means through which to mitigate future negatives 00:04:57.680 --> 00:05:00.620 right yeah like and i think about the importance 00:05:00.620 --> 00:05:04.740 of that with trauma a lot too right like um I 00:05:04.740 --> 00:05:07.480 think a big step for me has been reframing my 00:05:07.480 --> 00:05:11.879 trauma as a useless and awful thing that happened 00:05:11.879 --> 00:05:17.199 to me into a massive opportunity for change and 00:05:17.199 --> 00:05:23.040 growth. Yeah. Yeah. I want to I want to stick 00:05:23.040 --> 00:05:28.240 right here and unpack this a bit more for for 00:05:28.240 --> 00:05:31.550 you and I and for our listeners, because I. I 00:05:31.550 --> 00:05:34.649 think this ties so interestingly to this concept 00:05:34.649 --> 00:05:37.689 of joy and hope and resilience, right? And I 00:05:37.689 --> 00:05:41.709 sometimes wonder, like, chicken and egg. Does 00:05:41.709 --> 00:05:47.410 our attitude, our mindset, our thoughts shape 00:05:47.410 --> 00:05:52.189 our reality? does our reality shape our mindset 00:05:52.189 --> 00:05:54.550 and thoughts? And like, I love your point about 00:05:54.550 --> 00:05:56.990 we have control over the inner narrative, right? 00:05:57.050 --> 00:05:59.610 We have control over how we label something, 00:05:59.790 --> 00:06:03.949 how we frame something. But what are your thoughts 00:06:03.949 --> 00:06:07.790 on that chicken egg? Well, I'm going to start 00:06:07.790 --> 00:06:12.370 first with kind of how I view reality, right? 00:06:12.490 --> 00:06:17.339 Like, I think reality is primarily a reflection 00:06:17.339 --> 00:06:21.000 of our internal state right because all of our 00:06:21.000 --> 00:06:24.779 experiences are dictated by our perceptions and 00:06:24.779 --> 00:06:28.639 we ultimately have no means of gathering data 00:06:28.639 --> 00:06:32.040 about the external world past our internal sensations 00:06:32.040 --> 00:06:35.860 right like we we as entities are broadly incapable 00:06:35.860 --> 00:06:39.120 of determining objective reality without relying 00:06:39.120 --> 00:06:44.100 upon our senses and our senses are um very much 00:06:44.100 --> 00:06:47.220 at the whim of our emotional and mental state 00:06:47.220 --> 00:06:51.319 right so starting off with that premise uh of 00:06:51.319 --> 00:06:54.920 this idea that we quite literally define the 00:06:54.920 --> 00:06:59.350 world around us through our own perspective And 00:06:59.350 --> 00:07:03.110 then I think about this idea of the relationship 00:07:03.110 --> 00:07:05.870 between our emotions, thoughts, and behaviors, 00:07:06.069 --> 00:07:09.329 right? Like, I often talk with my mother, and 00:07:09.329 --> 00:07:12.230 this is kind of her nugget of wisdom, but it's 00:07:12.230 --> 00:07:16.430 very much like a triangular exchange. Emotions, 00:07:16.430 --> 00:07:20.470 thoughts, and behaviors, right? I think as humans, 00:07:20.730 --> 00:07:24.670 we can't really control our emotions. They kind 00:07:24.670 --> 00:07:28.620 of operate externally, but... Our thoughts can 00:07:28.620 --> 00:07:31.339 control our emotions and our behaviors can control 00:07:31.339 --> 00:07:33.779 our emotions and our thoughts can control our 00:07:33.779 --> 00:07:36.839 behaviors and we can control our thoughts. That's 00:07:36.839 --> 00:07:41.000 right. That's right. Well, you're an. your mom 00:07:41.000 --> 00:07:43.779 and I share being clinical social workers in 00:07:43.779 --> 00:07:46.899 common and that triangle is the whole premise 00:07:46.899 --> 00:07:49.800 of cognitive behavioral therapy right CBT that 00:07:49.800 --> 00:07:53.879 my cognitions my behaviors and my thinking are 00:07:53.879 --> 00:07:56.660 all connected there and I love that triangle 00:07:56.660 --> 00:07:59.360 is so clear like that visual is so clear to me 00:07:59.360 --> 00:08:04.480 and so when I approach a situation a problem 00:08:04.480 --> 00:08:10.519 a conflict and I have this ability to conceptualize 00:08:10.519 --> 00:08:16.240 the problem in a way that feels doable. I'm confident 00:08:16.240 --> 00:08:20.019 that I can be successful. You don't typically 00:08:20.019 --> 00:08:22.939 give it another second thought, right? Because 00:08:22.939 --> 00:08:26.899 you just approach it with... And if we're confronted 00:08:26.899 --> 00:08:29.420 with a problem that maybe we have some lived 00:08:29.420 --> 00:08:32.019 experience navigating and we've been successful 00:08:32.019 --> 00:08:35.669 in the past... Again, we don't give it that second 00:08:35.669 --> 00:08:38.629 thought. We just approach it from the same lived 00:08:38.629 --> 00:08:43.169 experience of success. Conversely, when I am 00:08:43.169 --> 00:08:45.649 confronted with something I've never dealt with 00:08:45.649 --> 00:08:48.610 before or I'm supporting somebody with something 00:08:48.610 --> 00:08:53.629 that we've never dealt with before, I've got 00:08:53.629 --> 00:08:57.090 to source information from somewhere. Yeah. And 00:08:57.090 --> 00:09:00.570 if I don't feel confident about it and I don't 00:09:00.570 --> 00:09:05.429 feel good. about it, it's going to lead me to 00:09:05.429 --> 00:09:09.690 maybe not do my best or maybe feel like my best 00:09:09.690 --> 00:09:14.149 isn't good enough. So that triangle is so important 00:09:14.149 --> 00:09:18.250 in navigating, to your point, navigating the 00:09:18.250 --> 00:09:20.830 world and figuring out what we have control over. 00:09:21.210 --> 00:09:26.509 Exactly. I think like ultimately my big emphasis 00:09:26.509 --> 00:09:29.450 that I place when I'm talking with my friends, 00:09:29.570 --> 00:09:33.289 when I'm talking with my family, is that we kind 00:09:33.289 --> 00:09:37.169 of have control over everything, right? Like 00:09:37.169 --> 00:09:41.870 everything is defined by us as individuals and 00:09:41.870 --> 00:09:44.830 when we can understand ourselves as individuals 00:09:44.830 --> 00:09:49.309 and when we can process things rationally to 00:09:49.309 --> 00:09:52.870 benefit ourselves and others then we have control. 00:09:53.389 --> 00:09:55.330 over the entire universe. The world is our oyster, 00:09:55.470 --> 00:10:00.269 right? In unlocking the ability to control our 00:10:00.269 --> 00:10:04.990 thoughts and through those thoughts sort of guide 00:10:04.990 --> 00:10:08.850 our emotions and nurture ourselves and make sure 00:10:08.850 --> 00:10:11.850 that we are behaving in the proper way, we can 00:10:11.850 --> 00:10:15.629 control almost anything. What have you found 00:10:15.629 --> 00:10:18.830 has been helpful for you? Like, as you were saying, 00:10:19.029 --> 00:10:23.039 our emotions... come up like we don't have control 00:10:23.039 --> 00:10:27.419 when that feeling comes up whether it's jealousy 00:10:27.419 --> 00:10:31.820 or shame or joy happiness anger we don't like 00:10:31.820 --> 00:10:35.980 that feeling is there what have you found helpful 00:10:35.980 --> 00:10:41.120 in being able to press pause and lean in to naming 00:10:41.120 --> 00:10:44.399 that feeling recognizing i don't have control 00:10:44.399 --> 00:10:49.039 over the feeling but i have the ability to explore, 00:10:49.080 --> 00:10:52.039 get introspective, and make sure that that feeling 00:10:52.039 --> 00:10:56.559 isn't hijacking the thought or the behavior. 00:10:57.159 --> 00:11:03.639 Yeah, I think it's really easy for us. And when 00:11:03.639 --> 00:11:06.320 I was in crisis, I was constantly allowing my 00:11:06.320 --> 00:11:09.259 feelings to directly control every thought and 00:11:09.259 --> 00:11:11.720 action that I was taking. And it's really easy 00:11:11.720 --> 00:11:13.720 for that to be the case because our emotions 00:11:13.720 --> 00:11:17.669 are... urgent needs. They are not something that 00:11:17.669 --> 00:11:21.269 is existing as a tool for us necessarily, even 00:11:21.269 --> 00:11:23.210 though I do think our emotions can serve us really 00:11:23.210 --> 00:11:28.289 well. They exist as sort of like a wild, internal, 00:11:28.549 --> 00:11:32.190 natural force. I see them as a little bit more 00:11:32.190 --> 00:11:36.990 like primordial, right? Yeah. And humans are 00:11:36.990 --> 00:11:40.889 fantastic at shaping the elements to do what 00:11:40.889 --> 00:11:43.940 we want, right? And I think... we can do the 00:11:43.940 --> 00:11:47.820 exact same thing with our emotions. For me, I 00:11:47.820 --> 00:11:51.940 think a big step in recovery and everyday life 00:11:51.940 --> 00:11:57.559 is the immediate response to stimuli being thought, 00:11:57.740 --> 00:12:01.299 right? And obviously, I'm sure our audience knows 00:12:01.299 --> 00:12:03.679 I'm a bit more cerebral than your average person. 00:12:04.139 --> 00:12:12.250 No. I'm not. No. But... Every single time I experience 00:12:12.250 --> 00:12:15.830 something that might result in a negative emotion, 00:12:16.169 --> 00:12:19.769 my immediate reaction is to first think about 00:12:19.769 --> 00:12:26.220 it. And I think then it allows me to... break 00:12:26.220 --> 00:12:28.240 i used to have these thought loops that were 00:12:28.240 --> 00:12:30.759 fed by my emotions i would have an emotional 00:12:30.759 --> 00:12:33.860 stimuli like a trauma reaction or something and 00:12:33.860 --> 00:12:36.620 then my thoughts would feed into those emotions 00:12:36.620 --> 00:12:38.860 and the emotions would grow more intense and 00:12:38.860 --> 00:12:40.539 then it would make more negative thoughts and 00:12:40.539 --> 00:12:43.860 it would become a spiraling feedback yeah and 00:12:43.860 --> 00:12:47.679 i think a lot of people have the tendency to 00:12:47.679 --> 00:12:52.460 do that right um and the biggest first step is 00:12:52.460 --> 00:12:54.919 control your thoughts because your thoughts are 00:12:54.919 --> 00:12:58.299 concrete uh your thoughts your thoughts are identifiable 00:12:58.299 --> 00:13:01.039 and your thoughts are easily expressed yeah right 00:13:01.039 --> 00:13:04.600 in this in the way that emotions are very difficult 00:13:04.600 --> 00:13:08.700 to express and once you can sort of conceptualize 00:13:08.700 --> 00:13:12.980 situations um off the bat then you can start 00:13:12.980 --> 00:13:16.399 um behaving in ways that nurture yourself yeah 00:13:16.399 --> 00:13:20.779 yeah that gift of introspection i think is one 00:13:20.779 --> 00:13:23.620 of the greatest gifts we can give ourself and 00:13:24.429 --> 00:13:27.269 To support somebody else, be that sounding board, 00:13:27.509 --> 00:13:31.129 to help other people learn to get introspective 00:13:31.129 --> 00:13:33.950 is the best gift we can give somebody else. The 00:13:33.950 --> 00:13:39.909 ability to sit with your thoughts and name the 00:13:39.909 --> 00:13:43.750 emotion, look at the trigger, what's going on 00:13:43.750 --> 00:13:46.649 in the environment, know what our baseline is 00:13:46.649 --> 00:13:49.519 like, oh, this somebody. gets in front of me 00:13:49.519 --> 00:13:51.700 or takes my parking space in the parking lot, 00:13:51.899 --> 00:13:55.019 typically that rolls off my shoulder. Today, 00:13:55.139 --> 00:13:57.700 I'm furious and I cannot let it go. Well, why 00:13:57.700 --> 00:13:59.720 is that? What's going on with that? And the ability 00:13:59.720 --> 00:14:05.539 just to sit with that is a really important step 00:14:05.539 --> 00:14:09.620 in self -awareness. I totally agree. And you 00:14:09.620 --> 00:14:12.019 mentioned this idea of like a sounding board. 00:14:12.139 --> 00:14:17.440 And I think in situations where we might start 00:14:17.440 --> 00:14:19.840 to act, and I have made a very conscious effort 00:14:19.840 --> 00:14:23.259 with this using my mom as a resource. When our 00:14:23.259 --> 00:14:26.259 emotions are controlling our thoughts, we need 00:14:26.259 --> 00:14:28.620 our immediate response to be, oh, I need someone 00:14:28.620 --> 00:14:32.320 to think for me right now. So then I can get 00:14:32.320 --> 00:14:35.720 into a more rational space, right? And I was 00:14:35.720 --> 00:14:38.500 wondering if you could speak more to how you've 00:14:38.500 --> 00:14:41.460 developed relationships so that like your husband 00:14:41.460 --> 00:14:46.600 or your friends can be that person to think for 00:14:46.600 --> 00:14:50.080 you and with you over your own internal experience. 00:14:50.100 --> 00:14:54.200 Yeah, that's a great question. I think with over 00:14:54.200 --> 00:14:58.980 time as relationships grow and evolve, and I've 00:14:58.980 --> 00:15:01.559 seen that with you and I over the last year and 00:15:01.559 --> 00:15:04.580 a half of spending this time together, in just 00:15:04.580 --> 00:15:07.360 our small talk, I know more about what's going 00:15:07.360 --> 00:15:10.000 on in your life. And so when something seems 00:15:10.000 --> 00:15:13.600 off, because I have a deeper knowledge of what's 00:15:13.600 --> 00:15:17.120 been going on in your life, I can help you press 00:15:17.120 --> 00:15:20.519 pause and go, you know what? By chance is what's 00:15:20.519 --> 00:15:23.190 going on over here. creeping into what's happening 00:15:23.190 --> 00:15:28.309 um and so that uh having the luxury of a connection 00:15:28.309 --> 00:15:30.830 with somebody to be able to source backwards 00:15:30.830 --> 00:15:35.490 and i do this with strangers in my clinical worlds 00:15:35.490 --> 00:15:40.529 all the time and helping folks to develop the 00:15:40.529 --> 00:15:45.850 skills to press pause get regrounded because 00:15:45.850 --> 00:15:49.450 you were saying um that emotion i love that description 00:15:49.450 --> 00:15:53.039 you have of this really primordial ooze like 00:15:53.039 --> 00:15:57.379 those are our emotions yeah and um they can get 00:15:57.379 --> 00:16:01.240 the best of us and so okay stop let's get grounded 00:16:01.240 --> 00:16:03.940 let's get feet on the floor and there's all kinds 00:16:03.940 --> 00:16:06.759 of strategies for for those for just getting 00:16:06.759 --> 00:16:09.940 mindful getting grounded but to interrupt the 00:16:09.940 --> 00:16:13.700 thought from completely hijacking the uh interrupting 00:16:13.700 --> 00:16:16.120 the emotion from completely hijacking the frontal 00:16:16.120 --> 00:16:18.919 lobe right which we know trauma yeah has the 00:16:18.919 --> 00:16:24.700 ability to do And so for me, it's helping with 00:16:24.700 --> 00:16:31.080 the interruption. Stop. Like, enough. Slow it 00:16:31.080 --> 00:16:34.679 down. Let's just sit for a second with this. 00:16:35.279 --> 00:16:39.440 Okay, now talk through it. What's going on? Name 00:16:39.440 --> 00:16:45.100 it, shape it, and start. not pushing the emotion 00:16:45.100 --> 00:16:48.340 down, but finding a balance where the emotion 00:16:48.340 --> 00:16:52.240 isn't oozing everywhere. But we've put some guardrails 00:16:52.240 --> 00:16:56.240 around it to at least contain it. And the image 00:16:56.240 --> 00:17:00.159 that keeps popping in my head is rather than 00:17:00.159 --> 00:17:03.960 this volcano or this slimy ooze coming everywhere, 00:17:04.279 --> 00:17:08.579 these strategies to interrupt and press pause 00:17:08.579 --> 00:17:14.339 really is about building some building a structure 00:17:14.339 --> 00:17:17.319 around it so we can then study it. Yeah. And 00:17:17.319 --> 00:17:20.220 really take a look at it. 100%. And not let it 00:17:20.220 --> 00:17:23.920 continue to flow and get away from us, but put 00:17:23.920 --> 00:17:27.759 it in the aquarium tank, let it do its thing 00:17:27.759 --> 00:17:29.920 in there while we're going, huh, that's interesting. 00:17:30.039 --> 00:17:33.440 What's that about? And then that introspection, 00:17:33.660 --> 00:17:37.740 right? Like we live, we talk about this all the 00:17:37.740 --> 00:17:41.200 time in my business and personal relationships, 00:17:41.339 --> 00:17:47.009 grind culture. is unlike anything I've seen even 00:17:47.009 --> 00:17:49.650 during COVID. Like the grind culture going on 00:17:49.650 --> 00:17:54.309 now, I think is the catch up result of a little 00:17:54.309 --> 00:17:58.190 bit of the COVID stuff. We are go, go, go. You're 00:17:58.190 --> 00:18:02.490 on the go all the time. Like go, go, go. And 00:18:02.490 --> 00:18:08.980 we have lost the ability. of just sitting with 00:18:08.980 --> 00:18:12.380 ourself for a couple minutes of silence and just 00:18:12.380 --> 00:18:16.339 be one with yourself in your head. I think actually 00:18:16.339 --> 00:18:20.440 I was talking to my former AP chemistry teacher 00:18:20.440 --> 00:18:24.920 who used to be a professor and one of his major 00:18:24.920 --> 00:18:27.819 qualms with academia was literally that there's 00:18:27.819 --> 00:18:30.660 no longer opportunity to just think and digest 00:18:30.660 --> 00:18:33.940 material anymore. um and that doesn't necessarily 00:18:33.940 --> 00:18:36.400 pertain to emotions but it's a very similar situation 00:18:36.400 --> 00:18:38.599 right i think but it's introspection yeah it's 00:18:38.599 --> 00:18:41.839 introspection yeah it's and also like in science 00:18:41.839 --> 00:18:44.700 you're trying to investigate a natural phenomena 00:18:44.700 --> 00:18:47.480 and i bringing it back to this idea of framing 00:18:47.480 --> 00:18:50.819 like when i'm experiencing a really strong emotion 00:18:50.819 --> 00:18:54.480 my first thought is oh this is really interesting. 00:18:54.680 --> 00:18:58.299 Let's investigate. It's an opportunity to kind 00:18:58.299 --> 00:19:00.940 of put on my Sherlock Holmes hat and get out 00:19:00.940 --> 00:19:03.740 the pipe tobacco. Right. Well, and you're a naturally 00:19:03.740 --> 00:19:07.480 curious person. And so you apply that curiosity 00:19:07.480 --> 00:19:11.799 to everything that you do, whether it's the book 00:19:11.799 --> 00:19:15.180 you're reading, the subject you're studying, 00:19:15.440 --> 00:19:18.359 the documentary, whatever it is, and yourself. 00:19:18.759 --> 00:19:21.099 Yeah. And I wonder, like you were mentioning 00:19:21.099 --> 00:19:27.049 about healing. and how this process of introspection 00:19:27.049 --> 00:19:30.970 really assisted you in your healing process. 00:19:33.470 --> 00:19:37.809 The curiosity that you approached what was going 00:19:37.809 --> 00:19:40.250 on for you and what was going on around you, 00:19:40.450 --> 00:19:43.609 what was going on for your family. I think about 00:19:43.609 --> 00:19:46.390 our conversation with our siblings, our brothers, 00:19:46.569 --> 00:19:50.150 last season. And you and your brother got into 00:19:50.150 --> 00:19:54.450 this about... your brother saying, but I didn't 00:19:54.450 --> 00:19:57.670 know what was happening. I knew it was something 00:19:57.670 --> 00:20:00.670 scary, but nobody was talking to me about it. 00:20:00.710 --> 00:20:05.329 I didn't know. And so I think one of the pieces 00:20:05.329 --> 00:20:09.349 of your resiliency is your curiosity. And that 00:20:09.349 --> 00:20:13.990 curiosity allows you to reframe and get really 00:20:13.990 --> 00:20:17.369 cerebral about reframing it. Okay, here's what's 00:20:17.369 --> 00:20:21.630 going on. I can continue to do more of what's 00:20:21.630 --> 00:20:24.829 not working for me. Yeah. Or I can make some 00:20:24.829 --> 00:20:27.990 changes. I agree. And I think the curiosity is 00:20:27.990 --> 00:20:30.970 kind of part of learning to love ourselves, right? 00:20:31.109 --> 00:20:35.029 Like even in our worst moments, we are interesting. 00:20:35.210 --> 00:20:37.289 Like humans are psychologically fascinating. 00:20:38.359 --> 00:20:42.000 And I think the most fascinating interaction 00:20:42.000 --> 00:20:45.599 that you can have with a human is in using yourself 00:20:45.599 --> 00:20:48.660 as a case study. Yeah. Right. Like sort of stepping 00:20:48.660 --> 00:20:52.900 back and trying to dissect your emotions like 00:20:52.900 --> 00:20:56.680 you're a surgeon and your emotions are on an 00:20:56.680 --> 00:20:59.369 operating table. Yeah. Yeah. Which is very like 00:20:59.369 --> 00:21:02.029 cold image, but I feel like it's kind of what 00:21:02.029 --> 00:21:03.950 we need to do sometimes. And this doesn't mean 00:21:03.950 --> 00:21:06.289 we're separating ourselves from our emotions 00:21:06.289 --> 00:21:10.470 and like no longer feeling them. It means that 00:21:10.470 --> 00:21:13.950 we're processing them in a more systematic fashion. 00:21:14.130 --> 00:21:17.529 Yeah. Rather than suppressing them. And I think 00:21:17.529 --> 00:21:20.529 emotions naturally want to hide, right? Like 00:21:20.529 --> 00:21:24.109 think about the little boy who has a crush and 00:21:24.109 --> 00:21:27.849 then tries to hide it and instead bullies the 00:21:27.849 --> 00:21:29.609 girl or something of that nature. Or the other 00:21:29.609 --> 00:21:34.430 boy. Yeah, or the other boy. Real. And like our 00:21:34.430 --> 00:21:37.069 natural tendency to not want to cry around others. 00:21:37.130 --> 00:21:39.670 Like our strong emotions don't want to be revealed. 00:21:39.849 --> 00:21:43.029 So you have to get curious to want to like sneak 00:21:43.029 --> 00:21:45.569 around that corner and take a peek at them. Yeah. 00:21:46.400 --> 00:21:50.960 Yeah. And that's really three seasons ago. That's 00:21:50.960 --> 00:21:52.960 what brought you and I a part of what brought 00:21:52.960 --> 00:21:55.579 you and I together about this podcast is reducing 00:21:55.579 --> 00:21:58.700 stigma, reducing the barriers, because oftentimes 00:21:58.700 --> 00:22:02.720 the barrier is us. Yeah. We're the reason that 00:22:02.720 --> 00:22:07.440 we don't want to allow other people to see that. 00:22:07.799 --> 00:22:10.240 piece of us. Maybe we're ashamed of it. Maybe 00:22:10.240 --> 00:22:13.339 we're scared of it. Maybe we're afraid of the 00:22:13.339 --> 00:22:16.299 narrative that that thing will try to tell about 00:22:16.299 --> 00:22:20.220 us. But I think that brings us to that framing 00:22:20.220 --> 00:22:24.720 insight that you had earlier, is that from where 00:22:24.720 --> 00:22:29.079 I sit, the more we've put on the magnifying glass 00:22:29.079 --> 00:22:31.619 and the more we put it on the table and looked 00:22:31.619 --> 00:22:34.619 at it and identified it and named it and understand 00:22:34.619 --> 00:22:41.079 it, the more easy it is to then reframe around 00:22:41.079 --> 00:22:46.019 it. 100%. And change the narrative. Yeah. Our 00:22:46.019 --> 00:22:50.019 emotions are part of our internal environment. 00:22:50.220 --> 00:22:54.420 They are us, right? And they have the opportunity 00:22:54.420 --> 00:22:57.859 to serve us. Emotions evolved because they are 00:22:57.859 --> 00:23:01.160 a viable tool for humans to facilitate social 00:23:01.160 --> 00:23:05.299 interactions. And they can do that really well 00:23:05.299 --> 00:23:07.519 and they can help us connect with others. But 00:23:07.519 --> 00:23:11.819 we have to let them out with a leash on them 00:23:11.819 --> 00:23:16.660 in order for them to make friends. I just got 00:23:16.660 --> 00:23:20.079 to say, this is probably our record for the number 00:23:20.079 --> 00:23:23.579 of metaphors we've used for emotions. We've got 00:23:23.579 --> 00:23:26.779 volcanoes and ooze and pets and cages and surgeon 00:23:26.779 --> 00:23:31.859 tables. But those are literally the pictures 00:23:31.859 --> 00:23:35.220 I think about when I think about our emotions 00:23:35.220 --> 00:23:39.359 getting the best of us. And I think every human, 00:23:39.539 --> 00:23:44.039 everyone listening to us has experienced at least 00:23:44.039 --> 00:23:47.000 one time in their life. when they were overwhelmed 00:23:47.000 --> 00:23:50.740 by an emotion. And maybe it was anger, maybe 00:23:50.740 --> 00:23:53.720 it was jealousy, maybe it was sadness. We've 00:23:53.720 --> 00:23:57.460 all experienced what it's like to have that emotion 00:23:57.460 --> 00:24:02.779 show up and then just take over. Yeah. And I 00:24:02.779 --> 00:24:06.220 think that's a beautiful part of life as well. 00:24:06.440 --> 00:24:09.359 And that's part of what makes humans so complex 00:24:09.359 --> 00:24:13.009 and so interesting and so curious. and so beautiful 00:24:13.009 --> 00:24:18.549 is that even at our worst there's still something 00:24:18.549 --> 00:24:20.690 to be learned we still have something to offer 00:24:20.690 --> 00:24:23.930 yeah i agree and again brings it back to that 00:24:23.930 --> 00:24:27.690 framing right there is always something positive 00:24:27.690 --> 00:24:32.170 to be looked at in any situation right like i 00:24:32.170 --> 00:24:35.670 look back on getting assaulted and the worst 00:24:35.670 --> 00:24:40.410 years of my life and i'm grateful uh right and 00:24:40.410 --> 00:24:45.279 i keep uh going over this idea of gratitude about 00:24:45.279 --> 00:24:48.720 it because if i hadn't have gone through that 00:24:48.720 --> 00:24:50.759 i would not be where i am right now i wouldn't 00:24:50.759 --> 00:24:52.960 be talking to you i wouldn't have the awesome 00:24:52.960 --> 00:24:55.079 friends that i have i wouldn't be able to use 00:24:55.079 --> 00:25:00.519 my story to help yeah so like we have to view 00:25:00.519 --> 00:25:05.839 negative things uh for their bad parts so that 00:25:05.839 --> 00:25:08.440 we can mitigate those but once we've stepped 00:25:08.440 --> 00:25:10.960 back from it It is not a stain on our record. 00:25:11.119 --> 00:25:13.059 Yeah. It's never a stain on our record. Right. 00:25:13.059 --> 00:25:18.279 Well, and our listeners know that I often quote 00:25:18.279 --> 00:25:23.000 my girl Taylor. And that song, Thank You, Amy, 00:25:23.180 --> 00:25:26.319 where she says, and I've said this on our podcast 00:25:26.319 --> 00:25:29.279 before, but when I count the scars, there's a 00:25:29.279 --> 00:25:33.079 moment of truth. If there hadn't been that, then 00:25:33.079 --> 00:25:37.180 there wouldn't be. Oh, I messed it up. when I 00:25:37.180 --> 00:25:38.759 cut the stars, the moment of truth, if there 00:25:38.759 --> 00:25:40.319 hadn't been this, then there wouldn't be you 00:25:40.319 --> 00:25:42.200 or something like that. You know, like she, sorry, 00:25:42.279 --> 00:25:47.000 Taylor. But really recognizing that we grow through 00:25:47.000 --> 00:25:50.819 these things that happen to us, the things that 00:25:50.819 --> 00:25:54.559 we go through, we can grow through. And whether 00:25:54.559 --> 00:25:58.039 it's literal scars or whether those scars are 00:25:58.039 --> 00:26:02.980 more on the inside, to reframe that as you have 00:26:02.980 --> 00:26:07.619 done so beautifully as those scars, are reminiscent 00:26:07.619 --> 00:26:11.559 of something I grew through. Yeah, 100%. And 00:26:11.559 --> 00:26:13.700 I wouldn't be sitting here if it hadn't happened. 00:26:14.259 --> 00:26:17.660 I 100 % agree. And I often think of this idea, 00:26:17.819 --> 00:26:20.299 like, I used to think that I was enduring my 00:26:20.299 --> 00:26:22.920 emotions and I was enduring my thoughts. And 00:26:22.920 --> 00:26:25.359 I have a friend who often says, I'll thug it 00:26:25.359 --> 00:26:31.400 out when they're experiencing an emotional crisis. 00:26:31.880 --> 00:26:35.539 And... We don't have to endure our emotions. 00:26:35.700 --> 00:26:39.539 We should be reveling in the curiosity and beauty 00:26:39.539 --> 00:26:42.559 that is ourselves. Even in our worst moments, 00:26:42.720 --> 00:26:46.380 it is an opportunity for discovery, right? Like 00:26:46.380 --> 00:26:50.599 I've had a, probably the, I can't say worst because 00:26:50.599 --> 00:26:53.220 I think it's a really good week overall and we'll 00:26:53.220 --> 00:26:55.940 have really good results, but I've had the most 00:26:55.940 --> 00:27:00.140 emotional week I've had in probably... Since 00:27:00.140 --> 00:27:03.059 freshman year. Yeah, years. Years since I was 00:27:03.059 --> 00:27:06.599 actively in crisis this week because I have a 00:27:06.599 --> 00:27:09.400 lot going on with my friend group and I have 00:27:09.400 --> 00:27:11.180 friends experiencing behavioral health crises. 00:27:11.339 --> 00:27:16.400 But and I just every night when I'm driving home, 00:27:16.539 --> 00:27:20.299 I think of how grateful I am for this opportunity 00:27:20.299 --> 00:27:24.099 to examine human emotions and this opportunity 00:27:24.099 --> 00:27:27.420 to grow closer with my friends through this hardship. 00:27:27.900 --> 00:27:32.660 And what you can offer your friends because of 00:27:32.660 --> 00:27:37.380 your past experiences, right? And you give the 00:27:37.380 --> 00:27:41.440 gift of your insight, your inspired insight, 00:27:41.680 --> 00:27:47.400 to those friends who are in need of it and who 00:27:47.400 --> 00:27:51.380 are actively seeking you out because of your 00:27:51.380 --> 00:27:56.400 openness to talk about your past. And I think, 00:27:56.420 --> 00:28:01.700 Soren, that is one of the pieces about you I 00:28:01.700 --> 00:28:06.980 love so much, about who you are and who you've 00:28:06.980 --> 00:28:11.920 become, is your not just ability to share, because 00:28:11.920 --> 00:28:14.259 it is ability, it's tough to share and be out 00:28:14.259 --> 00:28:18.700 there and be bold and be upfront and authentic, 00:28:18.779 --> 00:28:25.130 but your willingness. and your courage to share 00:28:25.130 --> 00:28:29.150 that part of you that at the time almost destroyed 00:28:29.150 --> 00:28:32.509 you, came pretty close to destroying you, and 00:28:32.509 --> 00:28:37.509 now is probably, of all the superhero capes that 00:28:37.509 --> 00:28:40.609 you wear, that's probably one of the ones that 00:28:40.609 --> 00:28:43.529 I see shining through the most because it truly 00:28:43.529 --> 00:28:49.460 is a part of your story. It truly does. contribute 00:28:49.460 --> 00:28:53.740 to who you are, but it does not shape you. It 00:28:53.740 --> 00:28:57.019 does not define you. Yeah. That's very high praise. 00:28:57.220 --> 00:28:59.980 I appreciate that. Mean every word. Yeah. Yeah. 00:29:00.059 --> 00:29:04.640 I think as this episode sort of winds down, I 00:29:04.640 --> 00:29:07.519 really want to leave our audience and viewers 00:29:07.519 --> 00:29:12.940 with this idea of control. I know that the world 00:29:12.940 --> 00:29:17.200 really can feel out of control and you can't 00:29:17.200 --> 00:29:19.539 dictate anything of what's going on around you. 00:29:19.759 --> 00:29:22.839 And the reality is, sometimes you can't change 00:29:22.839 --> 00:29:26.500 what's going on around you. But ultimately, the 00:29:26.500 --> 00:29:28.680 emotions you experience about what's going on 00:29:28.680 --> 00:29:31.759 around you are what you can control. And they 00:29:31.759 --> 00:29:34.740 are what you should be focusing on. If we can't 00:29:34.740 --> 00:29:37.579 control a situation, we can control our reaction 00:29:37.579 --> 00:29:41.319 to it and how we deal with it. That's where we 00:29:41.319 --> 00:29:43.839 should be deriving value. Yeah. Right. Yeah. 00:29:43.980 --> 00:29:47.319 And then we pay it forward when we're able. We 00:29:47.319 --> 00:29:52.039 can pay it forward. And the gift of insight and 00:29:52.039 --> 00:29:54.799 the gift of reflection and the gift of perspective 00:29:54.799 --> 00:29:59.240 sometimes is exactly what the other person needs. 00:30:00.079 --> 00:30:06.019 Precisely. Yeah. Ooh, deep thoughts. In the 04401. 00:30:06.480 --> 00:30:09.259 Well, Thorne, thank you again. I know I say this 00:30:09.259 --> 00:30:11.200 all the time, but thank you for being who you 00:30:11.200 --> 00:30:14.140 are and doing what you do and sharing these pieces 00:30:14.140 --> 00:30:16.980 of you with me and with us and with your friends. 00:30:18.240 --> 00:30:20.299 Yes, and I'd like to thank you too for being 00:30:20.299 --> 00:30:24.319 wise and knowing what's going on and always having 00:30:24.319 --> 00:30:26.519 a Taylor Swift quote that pertains to what we're 00:30:26.519 --> 00:30:29.619 talking about. Always, even though I may lose 00:30:29.619 --> 00:30:33.940 it in the moment, it's there. And I'll always 00:30:33.940 --> 00:30:37.160 post about it. I think maybe I'll start listening 00:30:37.160 --> 00:30:39.839 to Taylor Swift because it's, I think it's kind 00:30:39.839 --> 00:30:42.160 of crazy. Every single time we talk about something 00:30:42.160 --> 00:30:44.039 deep and I'm like, wow, this is really intense 00:30:44.039 --> 00:30:46.359 philosophy. You're like, you know, Taylor mentioned 00:30:46.359 --> 00:30:49.200 this in a song once. Yeah, that's right. And 00:30:49.200 --> 00:30:52.380 I still, I remember back, I owe you a playlist 00:30:52.380 --> 00:30:54.319 and you owe me a playlist. We've got to do that. 00:30:54.380 --> 00:30:56.400 We've got to make it an effort to create the 00:30:56.400 --> 00:30:58.559 playlist. And thank you, Amy, will be on that 00:30:58.559 --> 00:31:02.670 playlist. Until next time, our friends, this 00:31:02.670 --> 00:31:04.410 has been Inspired Insights. I'm Chris McLaughlin. 00:31:04.490 --> 00:31:06.710 I'm Soren Peterson. Have a great week. See you 00:31:06.710 --> 00:31:11.809 next time. Thank you so much. The Inspired Insights 00:31:11.809 --> 00:31:14.509 podcast has been brought to you by Inspired Consulting 00:31:14.509 --> 00:31:17.789 Group, LLC. Edited and produced by Amanda Seidel 00:31:17.789 --> 00:31:20.750 and Derek Carter. Marketing support for the Inspired 00:31:20.750 --> 00:31:23.329 Insights podcast by Elizabeth Kaden. Music by 00:31:23.329 --> 00:31:28.150 Derek Herter. Please visit www .inspiredcg .com 00:31:28.150 --> 00:31:31.569 to learn more. Copyright 2025. All rights reserved.