1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:06,480 The Inspired Insights podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only and should not be considered health advice. 2 00:00:06,480 --> 00:00:10,320 This podcast is not intended to replace professional medical advice. 3 00:00:10,320 --> 00:00:16,960 Please note that this podcast may contain discussions on sensitive topics such as mental illness, suicide, and substance use. 4 00:00:16,960 --> 00:00:30,000 If you are experiencing a behavioral health crisis or need support, please contact the 9-8-8 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline by calling 9-8-8 or visiting www.988-lifeline.org. 5 00:00:46,960 --> 00:01:07,920 Hello everybody! Welcome back to this week's episode of the Inspired Insights podcast with Soren Peterson, Chris McLaughlin, and today we have a lovely guest. 6 00:01:07,920 --> 00:01:13,920 A lovely celebrity, if you will. Would you like to introduce yourself? 7 00:01:13,920 --> 00:01:20,720 Yeah, my name is Dominic Barney and I'm an actor, director, choreographer in the area. 8 00:01:20,720 --> 00:01:26,240 Some of you might know me by my alter ego, which is Priscilla Poppy-Gox. 9 00:01:26,240 --> 00:01:28,800 Which I cannot wait to start talking more about. 10 00:01:28,800 --> 00:01:30,800 Yes, me too. 11 00:01:30,800 --> 00:01:35,840 And I also work at the University of Maine. I'm a teacher and advisor there too. 12 00:01:35,840 --> 00:01:38,560 Dominic, thanks so much for coming. Hi Soren, by the way. 13 00:01:38,560 --> 00:01:39,520 Hi! 14 00:01:39,520 --> 00:01:41,520 Thanks for starting the episode off. 15 00:01:41,520 --> 00:01:46,160 Thanks for being here. I'm super excited to get into some conversations. 16 00:01:46,160 --> 00:01:52,080 For our listeners, in full transparency, Dominic and I have been friends for years now. 17 00:01:52,080 --> 00:02:04,720 And this is an episode that I've really been excited and so appreciative of you kind of stepping through the friend boundary and coming into the podcast zone. So thank you for being here. 18 00:02:04,720 --> 00:02:06,160 Thank you, I feel honored. 19 00:02:06,160 --> 00:02:07,120 Thank you. 20 00:02:07,120 --> 00:02:09,120 Soren, how's your week been, by the way? 21 00:02:09,120 --> 00:02:18,400 My week has been really swell. I've been, actually my friends and I have been really getting into Magic the Gathering. 22 00:02:18,400 --> 00:02:20,400 I wondered if you were going to bring this in. 23 00:02:20,400 --> 00:02:36,480 Because it's just so fun. And I think it's really pleasant and it's reinvigorated my excitement for games and sort of like non-intellectual topics, right? 24 00:02:36,480 --> 00:02:39,680 Yeah, take a break from some of the... 25 00:02:39,680 --> 00:02:55,600 I spend all my time in the miasma of academia or like books that I'm reading. And I think Magic with my Friends is just a lovely break from that, where I get to take my head and breathe a little, take my head above water. 26 00:02:55,600 --> 00:02:57,120 And how important that is. 27 00:02:57,120 --> 00:02:57,840 Yes. 28 00:02:57,840 --> 00:03:04,160 Which brings me to thinking about Inspired Insights for the week. Do you want to go first? Do you want me to go first? 29 00:03:04,160 --> 00:03:06,720 Yeah, I can go first. 30 00:03:06,720 --> 00:03:07,840 Okay. 31 00:03:07,840 --> 00:03:17,440 So my inspired insight of the week is inspired by the first few chapters of Crime and Punishment, which I just started reading. 32 00:03:17,440 --> 00:03:29,280 And in that I see the main character isolate more and more. And as he isolates, he grows a greater loathing for people as a whole. 33 00:03:29,280 --> 00:03:36,960 And it's just sort of this positive feedback loop leading to ultimate isolation, right? 34 00:03:36,960 --> 00:03:37,600 Yeah. 35 00:03:37,600 --> 00:03:52,880 And that's also the case for positive emotions as well. And it shows me that although we have control over our emotions, our emotions so quickly build on themselves, spiral and control us, right? 36 00:03:52,880 --> 00:03:54,400 Yeah. 37 00:03:54,400 --> 00:03:56,480 So that's my inspired insight of the week. 38 00:03:56,480 --> 00:03:56,960 That's a good one. 39 00:03:56,960 --> 00:03:58,400 Dominic, would you let's a good one go? 40 00:03:58,400 --> 00:04:09,920 Well, that just made me think about feelings. And I have a five year old named CJ. And he, we just read a story called The Boy with Big Big Feelings. 41 00:04:09,920 --> 00:04:12,480 And I know that story. 42 00:04:12,480 --> 00:04:23,520 It's beautiful. And it's a moment of reflection on him. Like, I want to make sure that I'm raising a child that is okay being emotional. Like he's emotional child. 43 00:04:23,520 --> 00:04:36,320 And this inspired insight just made me think about the like, all days ago, we had breakfast and I'm not always an amazing parent. So I gave him yogurt and I offered him what the other thing would be. 44 00:04:36,320 --> 00:04:44,320 And I said, would you like a waffle pancake, a pop tart? And he was like, I want a pop tart. And I was like, of course you do. 45 00:04:45,440 --> 00:04:50,080 So he went off and I went to the cover to get a pop tart and we were out of pop tarts. 46 00:04:50,960 --> 00:04:51,360 Yeah, I know. 47 00:04:51,360 --> 00:04:52,160 Wow. 48 00:04:52,160 --> 00:04:55,920 So all of our listeners just went, my heart dropped. 49 00:04:55,920 --> 00:04:56,800 Yeah. 50 00:04:56,800 --> 00:04:57,680 Well, so did he. 51 00:04:58,720 --> 00:05:06,240 So we gave her on the corner and I was like, hey, buddy, we don't have any pop tarts. And he's like, oh, and I was like, I'm gonna make you a waffle. Is that okay? And he's like, yeah, that's okay. 52 00:05:06,240 --> 00:05:15,120 And then so I was making the waffle and all of a sudden I heard the piano and the other room start playing and he was just playing the piano. And I was like, oh, that's really cute. 53 00:05:15,120 --> 00:05:17,440 And then out of nowhere, I heard him singing. 54 00:05:17,440 --> 00:05:29,440 No pop tarts for me today. No pop tarts at all. And it was like, perfect. I was like, oh, I'm so sorry you don't have a pop tart. But I was like, we wouldn't have had this moment. 55 00:05:29,440 --> 00:05:30,080 Yeah. 56 00:05:30,080 --> 00:05:34,480 If I had a pop tart. So he's like his own Billy Joel moment. 57 00:05:34,480 --> 00:05:42,720 Yeah. Has that been something that you have worked with CJ on, like CJ on to like direct towards music or just did that on his own? 58 00:05:42,720 --> 00:05:44,240 No, we just did it on his own. 59 00:05:44,240 --> 00:05:46,480 That is so cool. 60 00:05:46,480 --> 00:05:54,720 Cool. Oh, so my inspired insight is going to keep this feelings trend going. So thanks for kicking that off, Soren. 61 00:05:55,600 --> 00:06:08,640 Yeah, Derek and I went and saw a show at Penobscot Theatre last night, their first show of this new season, which Inspired Consulting Group is a sponsor of, goes Penobscot Theatre. 62 00:06:08,640 --> 00:06:11,520 Thank you for allowing me to sponsor your season. 63 00:06:11,520 --> 00:06:32,480 And so we went to the first show, which was a play called Birthday Candles. And it probably is one of the most beautiful stories I've ever seen play out on a stage. And the fact that this is happening in Bangor, Maine just blew me away. 64 00:06:32,480 --> 00:06:52,560 I went through all the feelings. It was like 90 ish minutes of every single feeling. And I'm going to call my husband out a little bit. When we left the theater, you know, that silence of people kind of processing kind of a heavy ish performance. 65 00:06:52,560 --> 00:07:07,440 And Derek was just like, I didn't even realize I was crying. And I'm crying. And I was like, Oh, I realized I was crying. Like all of the feelings. But it's just for me, so here's where the insight comes in, right? 66 00:07:07,440 --> 00:07:32,320 The importance of supporting the arts and the importance of supporting local theater, especially when it's this good, supporting it, and the importance of these public displays of emotion that just model for the rest of the world as you're doing with CJ, that it is absolutely not just okay, but essential. 67 00:07:32,320 --> 00:07:32,880 Totally. 68 00:07:32,880 --> 00:07:39,520 That we experience the full range of all the emotions that as humans we're able to experience. 69 00:07:40,560 --> 00:07:52,960 Yeah. What I see in both of you guys's inspired insight is that arts primary utility is to be as a incarnation of emotions. 70 00:07:52,960 --> 00:07:53,280 Yeah. 71 00:07:53,280 --> 00:08:05,360 It is a raw expression of a emotional sensation and can lead to an outlet and an expression of within other people, those emotions. 72 00:08:05,360 --> 00:08:06,000 Yeah. 73 00:08:06,000 --> 00:08:06,880 Yeah. 74 00:08:06,880 --> 00:08:25,920 And I know that you, Dominic, are a performer. And I was wondering how drag and just you have used theater in general as an outlet and expression for your emotions or how you've used it to develop your own emotional state, right? 75 00:08:25,920 --> 00:08:26,480 Great question. 76 00:08:26,480 --> 00:08:40,320 Yeah. I always look at my life in thirds, which is weird. I've always believed that in order for my emotions to be neutral, that there were three things that needed to be in balance. 77 00:08:40,320 --> 00:08:51,680 And so one was that I knew that I wanted to be teaching. I wanted to be inspiring and changing the world in a classroom setting. And that's something professionally that I do and that I went to school for. 78 00:08:51,680 --> 00:09:04,480 And then there was a part of my being that needed to be fulfilled at the theater level. I needed to be performing and writing and artistically doing something and then balancing that out with my own personal family. 79 00:09:04,480 --> 00:09:04,880 Yeah. 80 00:09:04,880 --> 00:09:13,440 And I always found that the family being the center of it, that if one of those other things was off, then the family was off. 81 00:09:13,440 --> 00:09:23,200 So if I was completely immersed in work teaching and I didn't have an artistic balance there, that my family could tell that something was off. 82 00:09:23,200 --> 00:09:32,000 And vice versa, if I was only doing theater and not really focusing on the teaching, then my family felt that too. 83 00:09:32,000 --> 00:09:32,320 Yeah. 84 00:09:32,320 --> 00:09:38,080 So that's like how I maintain my life, which is exhausting. 85 00:09:38,080 --> 00:09:38,320 Yeah. 86 00:09:39,600 --> 00:09:42,720 But during COVID, that was really tricky. 87 00:09:42,720 --> 00:09:43,280 Yeah. 88 00:09:43,280 --> 00:09:49,520 Because both of the things that I do to balance my life were really non-existent. 89 00:09:49,520 --> 00:09:50,000 Yeah. 90 00:09:50,000 --> 00:09:55,040 That's really kind of where my drag journey started was during COVID. 91 00:09:55,040 --> 00:10:01,520 Yeah. Well, let's just get right into it. Tell us a little bit about her. Tell us about Priscilla. 92 00:10:01,520 --> 00:10:16,800 Priscilla is full of sass with a little bit of class. Yeah. I was looking for a way to connect during COVID, being at home. 93 00:10:17,840 --> 00:10:26,640 And I work with the Penobscot Theater. That's not a secret. And the director at the time was looking for something that would connect the community. 94 00:10:26,640 --> 00:10:29,280 And so I said, why don't we do like a talk show on Zoom? 95 00:10:29,280 --> 00:10:40,560 And I was going to do it as Dominic. And I don't know, somewhere along the line, I did a video playing Frankenfurter during COVID and people really enjoyed it. 96 00:10:40,560 --> 00:10:40,880 Yeah. 97 00:10:40,880 --> 00:10:44,480 So like, I was like, why don't I do it in drag? And she was like, okay. 98 00:10:46,240 --> 00:10:52,080 So I just started this talk show called Dition in Drag, where I talked to people all over the community about theater and arts. 99 00:10:52,080 --> 00:11:02,080 And about like five or six episodes in, I was just had the feeling that I need to like name her. I need to name this persona. 100 00:11:02,080 --> 00:11:09,120 And so there's a history around Priscilla Poppycox. And so, yeah, she kind of came. 101 00:11:09,120 --> 00:11:30,880 So as somebody who watched all of your videos, you also got, what was also really fun is you would make cocktails, and you would invite your viewers to make those cocktails and sort of have this dynamic of having a little happy hour together and just kind of Dition in Drag. 102 00:11:30,880 --> 00:11:32,880 Yeah, it was super fun. 103 00:11:32,880 --> 00:11:40,240 I've told you this before, mission accomplished with that whole piece around connecting and community. 104 00:11:41,120 --> 00:11:49,280 Like, it brought so much joy to so many people, not just in this area, but all over. 105 00:11:50,000 --> 00:11:58,880 Yeah, I know that, like, my experiences being in quite a rural area, I haven't had a lot of queer influences outside of the internet, right? 106 00:11:58,880 --> 00:12:07,280 And in freshman year, I went to go see your Christmas Priscilla Poppycox show. And I found it really inspiring. 107 00:12:07,280 --> 00:12:16,000 I really, really liked it because it was the first time I had seen like a queer performance in a public forum in my entire life. 108 00:12:16,000 --> 00:12:23,840 Right. And that there's something so empowering and liberating about that, about seeing that as a queer youth. 109 00:12:23,840 --> 00:12:29,600 Right. And it's so powerful to have queer representation in a public forum. 110 00:12:29,600 --> 00:12:34,160 And you named it like you and I have talked about this before, Sorin, I think in season one, 111 00:12:35,440 --> 00:12:49,600 where we have talked about the importance of representation, especially in media, and how that, how different that was for our different age groups growing up in the 80s and not having, 112 00:12:49,600 --> 00:13:01,040 let me rephrase that, the only queer representation I saw growing up was the AIDS patient or the sex worker or the victim of crime. 113 00:13:01,040 --> 00:13:09,040 And so how different that is. And I remember talking with you, Sorin, and your mom after that performance. 114 00:13:09,040 --> 00:13:19,040 The glow on you talking about that performance is, it's an incredible thing. 115 00:13:19,040 --> 00:13:33,040 For the long time, when I first started doing it, I almost had like an imposter syndrome about it because it was something that I created out of like need for like the community and myself. 116 00:13:33,040 --> 00:13:46,240 Like it was a little selfish because I was missing that part of my balance. And then once COVID ended and it started to become real, where people were asking me to come in and talk to them and perform, I felt like an imposter. 117 00:13:46,240 --> 00:13:54,240 And sometimes I still do because I guess I'm an actor. And so Priscilla is a part of me, but she's also a character that I play. 118 00:13:54,240 --> 00:14:04,240 But all characters, like as an actor, when you're portraying a character, the goal is to make them real. The goal is to make them believable. 119 00:14:04,240 --> 00:14:05,240 Relatable. 120 00:14:05,240 --> 00:14:17,240 Relatable. And so it seems strange that Priscilla is like an extension of me because the character wouldn't be believable to anybody if she wasn't. 121 00:14:17,240 --> 00:14:25,240 You're bringing up something that I think is so important for our listeners who may not know a whole lot about drag or drag culture. 122 00:14:25,240 --> 00:14:35,240 This idea that this persona is a part of you. It's bigger than just slapping on a wig and makeup, right? 123 00:14:35,240 --> 00:14:41,240 That you are giving a piece of yourself through Priscilla. 124 00:14:41,240 --> 00:15:00,240 And I'm curious, Dominic, are there times where that boundary gets even more blurry for you between Dominic, the dad, the husband, the teacher, the professional, and Priscilla who's zany and blah, blah, blah. 125 00:15:00,240 --> 00:15:11,240 Priscilla's big. When Priscilla walks into a space that you are performing in, Priscilla owns that space the minute that first high heel touches the floor. 126 00:15:11,240 --> 00:15:18,240 And Dominic doesn't walk into spaces like that when Dominic's Dominic. 127 00:15:18,240 --> 00:15:26,240 Yeah, I don't know. People always say like, Dominic is so funny or big and loud. 128 00:15:26,240 --> 00:15:30,240 And I'm always like, I'm really not. Because people know me from the stage. 129 00:15:30,240 --> 00:15:39,240 I usually play those characters and I always feel that I let people down sometimes when I'm just Dominic because they're expecting something more. 130 00:15:39,240 --> 00:15:42,240 And like you said, Priscilla is big and loud. 131 00:15:42,240 --> 00:15:53,240 And I don't think there's ever been a moment where I was concerned about the cross because, like I said, Priscilla still talks about her child. 132 00:15:53,240 --> 00:15:57,240 Like, it's my child. So you're talking about her husband as my husband. 133 00:15:57,240 --> 00:16:03,240 So I don't try to fool anybody. No one thinks I'm a woman. 134 00:16:03,240 --> 00:16:08,240 Which is what I want. That's the whole artistic part of it. 135 00:16:08,240 --> 00:16:14,240 And that's so important as well that there's an element of Priscilla that's a character. 136 00:16:14,240 --> 00:16:19,240 But it's not that Priscilla has this completely fictional backstory. 137 00:16:19,240 --> 00:16:31,240 Priscilla is you. And so a lot of your performances over the last couple of years as Priscilla have been sort of your story told as Priscilla. 138 00:16:31,240 --> 00:16:43,240 And there's nothing fictional about that. And so I think that's also really important for folks to recognize is that at least your drag, it's still Dominic. 139 00:16:43,240 --> 00:16:50,240 Like Dominic is still in there. You haven't created this completely made up story. 140 00:16:50,240 --> 00:16:54,240 Like Priscilla just didn't drop from a stork in the sky, right? 141 00:16:54,240 --> 00:17:02,240 Priscilla is you and you are Priscilla. I find that to be equal parts fascinating. 142 00:17:02,240 --> 00:17:07,240 And it's lovely. Yeah. Yeah. 143 00:17:07,240 --> 00:17:17,240 I mean, one of the things I have done all of the performances that my local high school has put on and I wouldn't say that I'm a fantastic performer by any means. 144 00:17:17,240 --> 00:17:28,240 But I think that getting into character in my experience is both an exercise in external empathy, discovering what it's like to be someone else. 145 00:17:28,240 --> 00:17:38,240 But also, mainly, it is discovering a different aspect of you and then embracing it in order to become that performer. 146 00:17:38,240 --> 00:17:47,240 Yeah. Right. I think like all of us have pretty much every part of human nature within us somewhere. 147 00:17:47,240 --> 00:17:53,240 And when you're on stage, you just pick one of those things and embrace it. Right. 148 00:17:53,240 --> 00:17:59,240 What's the favorite character you've ever played, Soren? Who's that been? 149 00:17:59,240 --> 00:18:08,240 I think the most fun I've had playing a character was probably when I was playing a moon. 150 00:18:08,240 --> 00:18:15,240 The moon, rather, in Adam's family, which is not a large role by any means. 151 00:18:15,240 --> 00:18:26,240 But I just got to be just like drag. Actually, I got to be a very out there diva and steal the show without saying a single line. Right. 152 00:18:26,240 --> 00:18:34,240 So I had to be very expressive and I had the long white gloves. Yeah. And I thought that it was really fun. Yeah. Yeah. 153 00:18:34,240 --> 00:18:56,240 And it is just like drag that character, actually. Yeah. Because it is very much not me. Yeah. But also at the same time, I get to feel I got to feel powerful in a very effeminate character, which isn't typical of a feministic. Right. Yeah. 154 00:18:56,240 --> 00:19:00,240 Priscilla's moon to a lot of people as well. Yeah. Yeah. 155 00:19:00,240 --> 00:19:05,240 The moon does. The moon. Yeah. Yeah. 156 00:19:05,240 --> 00:19:08,240 So I think that's so cool. That's amazing. Yeah. 157 00:19:08,240 --> 00:19:28,240 Least scary. No, I don't know. I've never really had stage fright. I think the one time that I had stage fright, I broke out in hives the first show I ever did because I was in sixth grade. And I was I had I had I think the third largest role in the show for the middle school thing. 158 00:19:28,240 --> 00:19:43,240 And I had to do a like Scottish accent, like a Shrek accent. And I forgot a few of my lines and I was just like tearing up backstage. Oh, really? Yeah. 159 00:19:43,240 --> 00:20:04,240 But and you rebounded and you like you said you've done theater every year. Yeah. Through your school. Yeah. I at this point, I think it's not so much about the performance, but it's mainly because I'm like, gone myself into like a community. 160 00:20:04,240 --> 00:20:15,240 And I like the culture of it. Right. And I think theater is a lot of the benefit of it is the community aspect. Right. 161 00:20:15,240 --> 00:20:24,240 It's like a family. Yeah, it is like a family. Yeah, I'm curious. So I don't even know if you you might know this about each other. 162 00:20:24,240 --> 00:20:37,240 Soren, you go to high school in the same high school that Dominic graduated from. And so, you know, thinking about because you did theater in high school as well, Dominic, didn't you? 163 00:20:37,240 --> 00:20:52,240 I did one. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Only one show in high school. Wow. Yeah, I didn't come into acting until really in college. I sang I sang in high school. I did show choir and I did the chorus. Yeah, those things. 164 00:20:52,240 --> 00:21:06,240 But I didn't actually like take the stage for real. I would say for real. Like I wanted to do it. And it was fun until college. That's interesting. In high school, I did one show they did once upon a mattress. 165 00:21:06,240 --> 00:21:15,240 That's the show that we're doing right now. That's great. Are you in it? Yeah, I know what part you are. Yeah, I'm King sex to us. No lies again. 166 00:21:15,240 --> 00:21:33,240 Again, a scene stealer. So I feel like you're being a little typecast. I think that the King is hilarious. I think it's wild that your first show happens to be the show you're in right now. Yeah, that is that is kind of crazy. 167 00:21:33,240 --> 00:21:46,240 I didn't even know that once upon a mattress was a show back in the day. I was like, careful. I thought that it would came out recently. That's better. Sorry. 168 00:21:46,240 --> 00:22:03,240 Well, it did get revived. It's revived right now on Broadway. So really, I didn't. It was Sutton. Do you remember who you played in that? I played the minstrel. Okay, which is really just a singing role. Okay. Yeah. So that's kind of how that landed. It was in your comfort zone back. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. 169 00:22:03,240 --> 00:22:32,240 You know, I for folks out there who have seen some of your performances around know your holiday special and the the other one woman show as Priscilla, you talk a lot in that show in those shows about your high school experience and sort of the how you discovered your 170 00:22:32,240 --> 00:22:53,240 queerness. And I'm wondering if you as Priscilla think back about high school Dominic and what might have been different if there was a little bit more Priscilla that you brought with you through that high school career. 171 00:22:53,240 --> 00:23:17,240 Yeah, that's a great question. I, I look back at my high school and being closeted and being scared and really trying to convince myself that I could change. Yeah, I didn't. I think that I put most of my energy in that. Yeah, not just not that. 172 00:23:17,240 --> 00:23:36,240 Not that I knew I could change. It's a very fascinating. I don't know how I would have done it differently at that time back in the olden days. Yeah, I'm not sure how I would have done it differently. I surrounded myself with people that liked me that I had fun with that I'm still friends with. 173 00:23:36,240 --> 00:23:59,240 I felt safe with them. Yeah. And I was safe with my family and the people that because that's the reality the more you hide, the more people see it. Yeah. So I think I just avoided people. Yeah, as much as I could. Yeah, until I left that space. Yeah, but it's so beautiful. 174 00:23:59,240 --> 00:24:18,240 Looking at the way high schools are right now. There are so many wonderful clubs and students that are being proactive and loud and proud and if it if I could be in those in that world now as a high school student, I know I would be different. Yeah. 175 00:24:18,240 --> 00:24:32,240 Yeah, I feel the same. It just goes to show like how much has changed and how much progress has been made because of people like you. And I'm so grateful. My son will be so grateful. Yeah. Yeah. 176 00:24:32,240 --> 00:24:56,240 And we've talked about this a lot over. Yeah. Well, seasons now of you know, for me, I very intentionally did not do theater out of fear, a stereotype of stigma that if I did theater that would have been really too gay. 177 00:24:56,240 --> 00:25:13,240 Right. And it would have shown a light that I wasn't willing able ready to have, which is fascinating. Right. Because if you look at the movies of our generation, right, all of the famous actors and stars who are making so much money that everybody loves are all straight men. 178 00:25:13,240 --> 00:25:29,240 So like, but we were afraid to act right in that role because we might be thought of as gay. That's right. That was the stereotype that I had is, well, gay kids would do theater. So I don't want to be that gay kid. 179 00:25:29,240 --> 00:25:36,240 So I'm not doing theater. And I mean, this is one of the examples where stereotypes are right. 180 00:25:36,240 --> 00:25:56,240 Yeah. Yeah, it is. It's fascinating. Well, I think that comes down to the feeling that you have about the family, the community. You feel safe with these people. And that's and and not that you don't feel safe in a sports team, but there is a there is a different energy of emotional. 181 00:25:56,240 --> 00:26:07,240 Absolutely. I think, especially for queer men, still there is in at least my experience. I don't feel safe on a sports team. 182 00:26:07,240 --> 00:26:20,240 And obviously things are changing and will continue to change. But I would agree. Like theater does provide that sports like environment where you're you have a community you're working towards something together. 183 00:26:20,240 --> 00:26:21,240 There's a team. 184 00:26:21,240 --> 00:26:43,240 There is there's a team element. My avoidance of theater doesn't mean that I was hanging out on the football team or the basketball team like I was in the band like that felt middle ground, because in my high school, there were some theater kids in the band, and they were some athlete kids in the band. 185 00:26:43,240 --> 00:26:56,240 So, and and my high school, which was Old Town, we've talked about this at Old Town High School during that, that those years, the band was widely it was good. We were a good band. 186 00:26:56,240 --> 00:26:59,240 And we were in town anymore. We were. 187 00:26:59,240 --> 00:27:02,240 I was the first chair trumpet. 188 00:27:02,240 --> 00:27:04,240 For several years. 189 00:27:04,240 --> 00:27:18,240 It helps that my stepfather was my music teacher, all through elementary school. But the band that bands room. That was one of my safe spaces. Yeah, same for me for the chorus. Yeah. 190 00:27:18,240 --> 00:27:36,240 And so I think some of the parallels here is that representation matters, right, if, if I had seen more out, proud, queer actors, maybe I could have claimed some of those other spaces as well. 191 00:27:36,240 --> 00:27:57,240 So representation matters and community matters and that sense of safety and family matters, and whether it's band whether it's chorus whether it's the arts, or whether it's the, the locker room after practice right like wherever, wherever a young person is accepted 192 00:27:57,240 --> 00:28:00,240 and validated and safe. 193 00:28:00,240 --> 00:28:04,240 We got to promote more that we've got to create more of those spaces. 194 00:28:04,240 --> 00:28:15,240 I definitely chose to sing, because it allowed me I said it in my show that like I was able to, they leave me alone if he could sing I could sing pretty good. 195 00:28:15,240 --> 00:28:21,240 I was great so they would leave me alone. Yes, I had this talent that they didn't have. Yeah. 196 00:28:21,240 --> 00:28:35,240 Yeah, and that's I guess that's another really important point too is whether you can hit a hockey puck really well or shoot a three point really well play trumpet, act, saying really well. 197 00:28:35,240 --> 00:28:41,240 There's a bubble of some kind of safety, because it's a distraction totally. It's a distraction. 198 00:28:41,240 --> 00:28:52,240 Yeah, I think that talents put power into the hands of people who can't stand on their own in some context, right. 199 00:28:52,240 --> 00:29:09,240 Or at least provide like social immunity as you were saying, you and I have talked a lot about how the idea of clicks have changed a lot of years and so in your with your peer group now your friends. 200 00:29:09,240 --> 00:29:17,240 Magic is cool, like playing the card game magic is cool. Yeah, not necessarily. 201 00:29:17,240 --> 00:29:24,240 You had a group of friends that you did magic tricks together. We would absolutely do a live. 202 00:29:24,240 --> 00:29:27,240 I would love to see that. 203 00:29:27,240 --> 00:29:31,240 I don't know if that would be cool. 204 00:29:31,240 --> 00:29:45,240 I do love a good magic show. But this idea of talent right this idea and then this idea of clicks. And so, what we, Dominic and I may have perceived as not really a cool crowd. 205 00:29:45,240 --> 00:30:09,240 But now kind of is the cool crowd and those social walls have kind of been torn down a bit. High school, because it was all like one community and there wasn't the internet to create like speciate communities had one hierarchy, right, and coolness was judged by everybody and you cared about what everybody thinks. 206 00:30:09,240 --> 00:30:18,240 Whereas now in high school. I don't think most people care about what anybody outside of their immediate friend group things. 207 00:30:18,240 --> 00:30:37,240 And I think that's really great because it allows kids to be far more expressive and feel far more comfortable being themselves in an environment where they are around a lot of peers that once they would be scrutinized by, but now don't really care right I can't even imagine a 208 00:30:37,240 --> 00:30:56,240 person high school who didn't care what every other person was thinking about Chris. Yeah, that is such a foreign concept to me. What do you think sort of behind that like what do you think has created that shift over the years, I think, a difference in confidence. 209 00:30:56,240 --> 00:31:15,240 I think it's the internet. Yeah, not necessarily a difference in confidence. I actually I think kids are probably have lower self esteem than they did, because now the high school is still a war zone, but the attackers aren't those around you, they're that which 210 00:31:15,240 --> 00:31:33,240 resides within you. Yeah, right. But I think that through the internet, people have been exposed to a wide variety of experiences and individuals outside of their high school environment, I'd love to hear what you think about this dominant because you are also in the classroom 211 00:31:33,240 --> 00:31:50,240 now. Yeah, different age groups but you're in the classroom. And yet, we know that rates of anxiety are higher than they've ever been before among young people depression higher than they've ever been before. And so while 212 00:31:50,240 --> 00:32:18,240 40 or so years ago, I was living in a inside of this head that was doing all kinds of like, not always very successful things. I don't remember my peers at this high level of distress that we've talked about going on with your peers soren at times you know and so. 213 00:32:18,240 --> 00:32:36,240 Well, I think that's because, well, my theory is it's because they are those people were allowed to show those emotions and those high heightened areas of their psyche, because it's acceptable for for it was it was acceptable for those. 214 00:32:36,240 --> 00:32:52,240 People who were like heterosexual or conceived heterosexuals in high school in our time. They were had permission to act how they wanted right they were able to act on their emotions their, their attractions, they were able to act on their aggressive aggressive feelings 215 00:32:52,240 --> 00:33:13,240 and not shun them or me on it right. But people in our community. Didn't try. They weren't allowed to. Yeah, and if for fear of being weak for fear of being feminine if it's a male for fear of being ridiculed for more than just a minute. 216 00:33:13,240 --> 00:33:27,240 And that's what we're now going to be for the next four years right so I don't I don't think we were given permission to do this right, but I think that you are I think that the youth today are able to do that. 217 00:33:27,240 --> 00:33:43,240 Yeah, and like I was saying and looping back to the importance of representation representation is permission. Yeah, examples of other people engaging in things and it being socially accepted is society permitting an activity. 218 00:33:43,240 --> 00:34:03,240 Um, and, like, I think drag queens and the female trans community, at least in the very beginning, were sort of the first head like they were at the head of the queer liberation movement Oh right, 100%. 219 00:34:03,240 --> 00:34:19,240 And I think this is perhaps means speculating, but I think that the additional power that being someone that is still you, but a little bit different than you and more powerful and more dominant than you. 220 00:34:19,240 --> 00:34:39,240 And I think that being both a feminine being a drag queen allows you to more confidently advocate for yourself and those around you. Yeah, right. Yeah. And do you feel like that's allowed you to more effectively advocate and made you feel more powerful in public settings. 221 00:34:39,240 --> 00:34:53,240 Yeah, as both actually. Well, I think like when I do a gig as Priscilla if there's like a person that I'm that's that I'm not enjoying for whatever reason, she will put her in put the person in its place and you know I have a problem with it. 222 00:34:53,240 --> 00:35:00,240 Yeah, I don't know what top and it would do in a performance setting. 223 00:35:00,240 --> 00:35:22,240 Yeah, I think that you speak representation I think that being a husband and having a child in today's world has made Dominic more aggressive and assertive, because I'm and, and open, because I want my son to see me be a sort of and confident and open. 224 00:35:22,240 --> 00:35:38,240 So, I'm trying to think of a situation that it did but I do feel like Dominic speaks up more. Yeah, and I think it's because of that. Yeah, I don't know if I just, I'm, I'm pretty. I'm boring. 225 00:35:38,240 --> 00:36:02,240 I'm not so far from I don't like, I'm not aggressive in in a lot of things but Priscilla is. Yeah. Well, I think that speaks a little bit to Soren's point and I'd love to get your perspective on this, Dominic around this, this notion of drag as power and drag as a, as a art form about reclaiming that 226 00:36:02,240 --> 00:36:13,240 power and about as somebody who is has never publicly done drag. 227 00:36:13,240 --> 00:36:36,240 Every drag person I know that word power is almost always referenced in use and I'd love to hear from you about what that power has looked like and was it was it day one was it Priscilla day one, or Priscilla day 101 that you felt that power. 228 00:36:36,240 --> 00:36:49,240 I think for me and Priscilla, I knew that I was a different drag queen. I knew from the very beginning that I wasn't. 229 00:36:49,240 --> 00:37:06,240 I wasn't, I wanted to show people that a drag queen doesn't have to be someone who is half naked and is doing as lip syncing and and death dropping. Yeah. Not that that's bad. I think that they can do that are amazing. 230 00:37:06,240 --> 00:37:22,240 I knew that I wasn't going to be that person. Yeah, because I wanted. It's that representation thing but it's not just so that my community can see it but it's so that other people can see that that a drag queen isn't just that right yeah that a drag queen can just be funny and 231 00:37:22,240 --> 00:37:41,240 romantic and heartfelt and an entertainer I like to think of like, I always people say like who do you, who do you feel like you are the most like as Priscilla, and I always say those it's like a combination of like Julia Childs yep. 232 00:37:41,240 --> 00:37:58,240 Julia Childs and like Dame Edna, like, like they know that Julia Childs was a drag queen. Yeah. She was just a chef. But Dame Edna was just an entertainer and was funny and made commentary on life. 233 00:37:58,240 --> 00:38:16,240 And people loved her. And, and people weren't afraid of her. Yeah. And so that's that's kind of what I went into Priscilla being like I don't want people to be afraid of Priscilla I want people to go up to her and say hi and enjoy her and. 234 00:38:16,240 --> 00:38:29,240 No, yeah, I don't want to, yeah, does that make sense? 100%. Yeah. And this permission to laugh. Yeah, because I think my experience going to drag shows, yours as well as others all over the country. 235 00:38:29,240 --> 00:38:49,240 And that there's a piece of queer joy there that I that we also talk about it's it's it's actually becoming one of my more prominent mantras in my own personal and in the professional work I do that we talk, I talk so much about depression and anxiety and the really 236 00:38:49,240 --> 00:39:00,240 important stuff. And so it's sort of that parenting adage right and and teaching adage for everyone negative make sure you have this many positive. 237 00:39:00,240 --> 00:39:19,240 And so I'm really trying to integrate that, that for every harsh reality. I also want to make sure we're giving three plus examples of queer joy and why joy is such an important essential life saving element of our resilience. 238 00:39:19,240 --> 00:39:34,240 You give as Priscilla people permission to laugh and put their stuff aside for a couple hours and laugh at you and then laughing with you and at you they're also laughing at themselves. 239 00:39:34,240 --> 00:39:56,240 And and laughing at the perspective of for that couple hour show. What was going on for me before I walked through that door is taking a backseat and it's permission. It's permission to laugh at and with because you absolutely create a space where you want people to laugh at you as much as they're laughing with you. 240 00:39:56,240 --> 00:40:04,240 And I'm okay with that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's it's so it's a it's a it's magic. I like. 241 00:40:04,240 --> 00:40:12,240 Now I'm talking more about the trick right. It's absolutely. It's pure magic it's pure joy. 242 00:40:12,240 --> 00:40:26,240 Every time I've walked out of a Priscilla event, whether it's a bingo brunch, a trivia night or a heartfelt show where you're just putting it all out there. 243 00:40:26,240 --> 00:40:41,240 Every time I've left. I've left feeling joy that I might not have had coming in or been aware of and sometimes a winner and sometimes I've left a winner. 244 00:40:41,240 --> 00:40:58,240 Bingo. Bingo. Yeah, yeah, I think the performances, both as performers and as people watching them. It is both escapism and allowing you to augment what is outside of that escape. 245 00:40:58,240 --> 00:41:01,240 Right. 246 00:41:01,240 --> 00:41:14,240 Like, I know that performances, especially freshman year doing drama was kind of my only requiem. 247 00:41:14,240 --> 00:41:23,240 I don't know if I'm using that word right from my extremely negative emotional state. Right. 248 00:41:23,240 --> 00:41:39,240 Are you saying it was a break? Yeah, it allowed you to take a break. Like take a break from the heavy. You were able to put aside the heavy head stuff just for a little bit and be someone else. 249 00:41:39,240 --> 00:41:41,240 Yeah, something else. 250 00:41:41,240 --> 00:41:45,240 Yeah. So true. Yeah, I, you know, I, 251 00:41:45,240 --> 00:41:54,240 I love it. And I know that we sadly live in a world today where there is so much. 252 00:41:54,240 --> 00:42:04,240 I hate, I don't know even know what other word to use for it coming out at all of us in all of the identities that we have. 253 00:42:04,240 --> 00:42:24,240 And so as we kind of start thinking about wrapping up today, Dominic, I'd love to just hear from you. What do you want listeners to know about drag? What do you want them to take away from this podcast? Maybe as something that you haven't thought of before? 254 00:42:24,240 --> 00:42:35,240 Well, I think like I speak a lot about living in living for drag and I want people to understand that drag isn't necessarily 255 00:42:35,240 --> 00:42:43,240 a man and woman's clothing or a woman and men's clothing, but there's drag in everyone and it just looks different. 256 00:42:43,240 --> 00:42:57,240 It's that confidence to do something that you don't think you can do in your normal skin. And so, you know, drag can be political, it can be emotional, it can be performance, it can be theater. 257 00:42:57,240 --> 00:43:12,240 I like to think of it like people who say that they're an athlete or they're athletic. And that is a range, right? You can be, how are you athletic? You can be a D1 athlete, you could be a professional football player, or you could be the person that walks their dog every Sunday. 258 00:43:12,240 --> 00:43:24,240 Briskly. Yep. Yep. So being an athlete can be different no matter what. And so drag is different for everyone and it's different for every individual, but it's also different for every drag queen. 259 00:43:24,240 --> 00:43:33,240 Yeah. And there are lots in this community that are doing really wonderful events and nights and representation. 260 00:43:33,240 --> 00:43:45,240 And I just want people to enjoy themselves when they see a drag queen because they're really just there for joy. 261 00:43:45,240 --> 00:43:53,240 For joy. Yeah. I love that. I love that. There's one other thing I'm going to ask you to do. 262 00:43:53,240 --> 00:44:11,240 At the end of a lot of almost all of your shows, you have a saying that you offer your audiences. And I'd love for you to share that saying and maybe let us know what that has meant. That saying has meant for you. 263 00:44:11,240 --> 00:44:29,240 Yeah, I think growing up, I've always been a person that wants to help others and that others usually come before us. And I think that's part of our community. I think that people in our community really just want other people to be happy and they also think about them other people more than I think about themselves. 264 00:44:29,240 --> 00:44:42,240 Or maybe it's just that I'm a Pisces. And that's what I do. But there was just a moment when I created Priscilla that I realized I'd given so much to other people that I realized I hadn't saved a lot for myself. 265 00:44:42,240 --> 00:45:00,240 And so I just started saying, save a little love for yourself. Don't you dare give it all away. Because there's got to be a piece that keeps your life burning. There's got to be a piece that keeps you the inspiration team going on for another day. 266 00:45:00,240 --> 00:45:20,240 Thank you for that. Thank you so much. Thank you. This has been lovely. So thank you to our listeners for tuning in today. I'm just like, I'm processing so much. It's probably a little leftover birthday candles performance last night. But I thank you, Dominic, so much. 267 00:45:20,240 --> 00:45:35,240 I want to encourage our listeners to follow some of your advice and make sure that they are doing a little something extra for themselves in the coming days. And we don't ever give our listeners homework. 268 00:45:35,240 --> 00:45:51,240 And I feel like I have homework I want to give our listeners about making sure that they're filling their own cup and keeping a little bit in their cup. That filling it doesn't mean you fill it so you can empty it all out and then start with an empty cup again. 269 00:45:51,240 --> 00:46:10,240 So keep a little bit of that self love in that cup and to find what gives you power, find what makes you joyful, find what makes you confident, and do a whole lot more of that as well. 270 00:46:10,240 --> 00:46:25,240 Yeah. Any last words, Soren? Lean in to what makes you you. You'll never face backlash from someone that is deserving of making commentary for being yourself. 271 00:46:25,240 --> 00:46:48,240 Yeah. And I think that drag shows that I think that this show has showed that. And I am just so excited to see how queer media progresses as I get older and my generation steps onto the stage even more. 272 00:46:48,240 --> 00:47:00,240 And we've learned so much from all of the older queer members of the community. Senior. The senior member. Oh, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I really I'm dragging you guys through the mess. 273 00:47:00,240 --> 00:47:10,240 No pun intended. I think I look good. I think you look great. I think you look great. Well, thank you all. This has been another episode of the inspired insights podcast. I am Chris McGlallen. 274 00:47:10,240 --> 00:47:17,240 I'm Soren Peterson. Thank you, Dominic Varney. And until next time, take care. Have a lovely rest of your week. 275 00:47:17,240 --> 00:47:22,240 The inspired insights podcast has been brought to you by inspired consulting group LLC. 276 00:47:22,240 --> 00:47:25,240 Edited and produced by Amanda Seidel and Derek Carter. 277 00:47:25,240 --> 00:47:30,240 Marketing support for the inspired insights podcast by Elizabeth Keenan. Music by Derek Carter. 278 00:47:30,240 --> 00:47:49,240 Please visit www.inspiredcg.com to learn more. Copyrights 2024. All rights reserved.