WEBVTT

00:00:02.580 --> 00:00:07.940
Cheers, Rob. Thank you. How long have we gone?

00:00:08.970 --> 00:00:17.250
Were these boxes here your names on them? There's

00:00:17.250 --> 00:00:23.019
a watch in this one. Oh. Well, I mean, at least

00:00:23.019 --> 00:00:42.929
it's charged. Val! What favour? What if anything's

00:00:42.929 --> 00:01:03.240
missing? We've got to take you with us. This

00:01:03.240 --> 00:01:14.420
is Rightly Used with Adam and Karen. The instructions

00:01:14.420 --> 00:01:17.140
say it's a QR code for me to pay with my phone,

00:01:17.219 --> 00:01:19.299
but... I think I have to even do that to show

00:01:19.299 --> 00:01:22.579
the right time on this fucking watch. Let's just

00:01:22.579 --> 00:01:28.400
take Val as he asks. What's it say? For podcast

00:01:28.400 --> 00:01:35.010
emergencies. What does that mean? In the event

00:01:35.010 --> 00:01:38.670
of an emergency, content of this box will sustain

00:01:38.670 --> 00:01:42.469
you for 24 hours in order to record and upload

00:01:42.469 --> 00:01:46.890
an episode of your show. That's going to be such

00:01:46.890 --> 00:01:50.430
an emergency to get one of our shows out. Yeah,

00:01:50.549 --> 00:01:53.209
difference between life and death. Christ. Cheers,

00:01:53.290 --> 00:02:01.299
Val. What have we got here? Universal provisions

00:02:01.299 --> 00:02:04.819
for two. Okay, doc. There should be one power

00:02:04.819 --> 00:02:10.870
bank. Okay. One laptop. He said there's a laptop?

00:02:11.569 --> 00:02:13.729
And he's not getting that back. No, no, it's

00:02:13.729 --> 00:02:17.030
going to be in that bigger box. Okay. One pair

00:02:17.030 --> 00:02:20.550
of Bluetooth microphones and receiver. Yeah,

00:02:20.569 --> 00:02:24.650
that's... Ooh, swanky. Ooh, very swanky, actually.

00:02:24.770 --> 00:02:29.169
A small tripod and a tiny tripod with related

00:02:29.169 --> 00:02:33.719
power cables and USB leads. Well, it sounds a

00:02:33.719 --> 00:02:37.229
bit vague, to be quite honest. Big tripod, well,

00:02:37.449 --> 00:02:40.389
bigger tripod, small tripod, you check and check,

00:02:40.610 --> 00:02:43.849
power lead. Yeah, it's a bunch of cables at the

00:02:43.849 --> 00:02:48.490
bottom. Two 24 -hour field ration packs. Hang

00:02:48.490 --> 00:03:00.379
on. Check. Two mess tins. These are mine. These

00:03:00.379 --> 00:03:02.080
have been through my fucking cupboards. I swear

00:03:02.080 --> 00:03:04.099
it wasn't me. I didn't know anything about this.

00:03:04.379 --> 00:03:10.000
No. I know your whereabouts. What the hell? Okay.

00:03:11.240 --> 00:03:17.060
Two KFS sets. Forks and spoons, yeah. Oh, knives,

00:03:17.099 --> 00:03:20.139
forks and spoons. Yeah, check. Okay. One of those

00:03:20.139 --> 00:03:22.840
are mine. Right, okay. There should also be a

00:03:22.840 --> 00:03:28.219
camping stove and gas. Camping stove. Gas, brilliant.

00:03:29.219 --> 00:03:33.460
And gas. I've got to be honest, I didn't actually

00:03:33.460 --> 00:03:35.520
think you could post gas to people's houses.

00:03:36.219 --> 00:03:39.680
Did he post these? How are they inside my house?

00:03:40.419 --> 00:03:43.240
There's no warnings on the box or anything. It

00:03:43.240 --> 00:03:48.590
was labelled as farm use. Let's go back to the

00:03:48.590 --> 00:03:51.610
list. There's not much left. One eight litre

00:03:51.610 --> 00:03:55.139
water butt. Check. Is that like a really good

00:03:55.139 --> 00:03:58.219
Welsh friend that can hold lots of liquid? A

00:03:58.219 --> 00:04:01.360
water butt. A water butt. Two camping chairs.

00:04:02.039 --> 00:04:10.979
One ground sheet. One shelter. Check. One pack

00:04:10.979 --> 00:04:16.949
of antibacterial wipes. Check. Bespoke. Show

00:04:16.949 --> 00:04:22.910
provisions. One travel game. Check. Oh, cool.

00:04:23.050 --> 00:04:28.670
And one audio book on CD. Check. How are we paying

00:04:28.670 --> 00:04:32.279
that? In a field? Guess we listen on the way

00:04:32.279 --> 00:04:34.740
there. Have you got a Walkman? I've got the Tepnobile.

00:04:35.019 --> 00:04:37.660
Oh! We can play it on the way. Of course. I'm

00:04:37.660 --> 00:04:41.620
just being stupid. On the way where? Whether

00:04:41.620 --> 00:04:46.569
we're taking Val. Okay. Oh, there's a place that

00:04:46.569 --> 00:04:49.060
you went with the... Streams that I haven't been.

00:04:49.779 --> 00:04:52.019
Val hasn't been. It's not too far away. Val doesn't

00:04:52.019 --> 00:04:53.920
have to go far. Yeah, it's only down Neathway.

00:04:54.040 --> 00:04:56.240
I mean, if he's switched off during the travel,

00:04:56.279 --> 00:04:58.680
he won't know how far he's gone. We could go

00:04:58.680 --> 00:05:01.540
the field across. No, maybe not. They haven't

00:05:01.540 --> 00:05:05.779
mowed that. We can't really sit there. It's too

00:05:05.779 --> 00:05:08.000
noisy around here. Yeah, let's go somewhere close

00:05:08.000 --> 00:05:19.689
but quiet. Let's go to Longford. Sunblocking,

00:05:19.689 --> 00:05:25.870
my wife. It's a little bit hazy, but enough sun

00:05:25.870 --> 00:05:30.279
is getting through. yeah i wonder how much cooler

00:05:30.279 --> 00:05:32.800
it'll be by the stream because when i was there

00:05:32.800 --> 00:05:36.300
and it was 35 degrees in the sun it was like

00:05:36.300 --> 00:05:38.699
25 in the shade down by the stream which was

00:05:38.699 --> 00:05:43.040
lovely so hopefully it's just like a standard

00:05:43.300 --> 00:05:47.180
microclimate down there that maintains a solid

00:05:47.180 --> 00:05:50.560
20 something and we won't get cold and i won't

00:05:50.560 --> 00:05:54.970
regret not wearing a top when i am actually wearing

00:05:54.970 --> 00:05:58.550
clothes obviously hopefully i'm not gonna regret

00:05:58.550 --> 00:06:02.319
wearing shorts instead of jeans both with any

00:06:02.319 --> 00:06:07.019
brambles from what i can remember i didn't have

00:06:07.019 --> 00:06:10.220
to scrabble with any brambles the only time i

00:06:10.220 --> 00:06:14.000
was close to them was like at the very start

00:06:14.000 --> 00:06:16.180
of the footpath when you have to negotiate like

00:06:16.180 --> 00:06:18.540
a little kissing gate or you know like one of

00:06:18.540 --> 00:06:20.079
those ones they put in to stop people going down

00:06:20.079 --> 00:06:23.959
there on their bicycles even that said brambles

00:06:23.959 --> 00:06:26.620
at that mine it's stinging nettles yeah like

00:06:26.620 --> 00:06:30.139
i can do one yeah i can cope with like blackberries

00:06:30.139 --> 00:06:35.160
in unnatural forms but it's the itch from nettles

00:06:35.160 --> 00:06:39.560
that is just unbearable but i do know what a

00:06:39.560 --> 00:06:43.500
dock leaf looks like if we need to find any when

00:06:43.500 --> 00:06:47.500
i trimmed all the bushes and undergrowth back

00:06:47.500 --> 00:06:52.660
on the lane to work yeah oh legs were stinging

00:06:52.660 --> 00:06:54.879
till the evening from the from the nettles oh

00:06:54.879 --> 00:06:59.639
that's horrible we're stuck behind these people

00:06:59.639 --> 00:07:02.709
and driving so slowly Can we see what... Oh,

00:07:02.709 --> 00:07:11.329
yeah, audio book. That's the radio. Roald Dahl,

00:07:11.610 --> 00:07:17.629
emergency audio book. Chapter one. What's Val

00:07:17.629 --> 00:07:25.300
given us? The enormous crocodile. Oh, cheeky.

00:07:25.439 --> 00:07:29.079
By Roald Dahl. By Stephen Fry. By Stephen Fry.

00:07:29.240 --> 00:07:39.100
I do like a bit of Stephen Fry. Is Val catering

00:07:39.100 --> 00:07:44.600
for our supposed age group? In the biggest, brownest,

00:07:44.639 --> 00:07:49.680
muddiest river in Africa, crocodiles lay with

00:07:49.680 --> 00:08:36.279
their heads just above the water. I enjoyed the

00:08:36.279 --> 00:08:50.519
music on this. It's really cute. Oh, try it.

00:08:57.840 --> 00:09:01.419
This audiobook was produced and published by

00:09:01.419 --> 00:09:05.490
Penguin Books. Oh, thanks, Val. I actually really

00:09:05.490 --> 00:09:11.200
enjoyed that. Didn't know what to expect, but

00:09:11.200 --> 00:09:13.539
that was really fun. Well done, Val. Good choice.

00:09:13.679 --> 00:09:15.299
Could have given us a lot worse. Yeah, it could.

00:09:16.210 --> 00:09:18.970
That was enjoyable. I thought he was going to

00:09:18.970 --> 00:09:20.850
punish us when I said, oh, he's selected something

00:09:20.850 --> 00:09:23.470
for us. Yeah, you never really know what you're

00:09:23.470 --> 00:09:26.029
going to get. Stephen Fry is always an excellent

00:09:26.029 --> 00:09:29.149
narrator. He is. He does excellent voices. He's

00:09:29.149 --> 00:09:34.759
a good voice actor. Gosh, this is a very late

00:09:34.759 --> 00:09:44.360
breakfast for me. I blame Val. I can't be too

00:09:44.360 --> 00:09:57.840
mean. He did give us a really fun book. Here

00:09:57.840 --> 00:10:01.779
you go. I'm just going to grab my parasol as

00:10:01.779 --> 00:10:06.340
well. I'll carry that. It's alright, Ed. Are

00:10:06.340 --> 00:10:10.970
we going to need chairs? I've got a chair. We

00:10:10.970 --> 00:10:13.210
can take it in turns to use my seat. You know

00:10:13.210 --> 00:10:15.549
what? I think I've got enough stuff. Alright.

00:10:17.279 --> 00:10:19.679
I'll be carrying that water jug as well. Ah,

00:10:19.700 --> 00:10:27.250
yeah, I didn't think about that. Oh, should we

00:10:27.250 --> 00:10:29.710
be filming this in the selfie stick? Oh, er...

00:10:29.710 --> 00:10:35.629
Which pocket do I need to reach in? That one,

00:10:35.730 --> 00:10:53.279
I think. Cheers, darling. Right. I'm trying to

00:10:53.279 --> 00:10:58.470
sort myself out. Here's me. Hello. Let's see

00:10:58.470 --> 00:11:01.409
if I can tighten that up a bit, actually. That'll

00:11:01.409 --> 00:11:03.230
be right as well. Oh, sorry, I just filmed your

00:11:03.230 --> 00:11:11.250
arse then. Right, so here we are at what I think

00:11:11.250 --> 00:11:16.299
is sort of the top of the walk for Longford Stream.

00:11:17.539 --> 00:11:21.179
Technically the Clidrach River, I think. It's

00:11:21.179 --> 00:11:25.139
down there somewhere. You might be able to hear

00:11:25.139 --> 00:11:33.120
it if you're very lucky. There we are. Oh, I'm

00:11:33.120 --> 00:11:35.919
going to have to take Val off standby. Oh, yeah.

00:11:36.690 --> 00:11:40.809
Don't press too many buttons. Right. Okay. Hey,

00:11:40.830 --> 00:11:44.129
Val. We're here. There you go. Hey, Val. Look,

00:11:44.370 --> 00:11:46.049
we brought you. We brought you somewhere pretty.

00:11:46.309 --> 00:11:48.649
Here you are. Look. Here you are. There, look.

00:11:48.690 --> 00:11:51.450
Pretty, pretty, pretty. Who's gone? Pretty. Pretty,

00:11:51.470 --> 00:11:58.230
pretty. Is he alive? Hello. See, the times don't

00:11:58.230 --> 00:12:03.279
even match. Oh, God. Oh, stupid. Right, OK. Well,

00:12:03.340 --> 00:12:08.879
look, we're taking him on a nice day trip. He's

00:12:08.879 --> 00:12:13.539
being rude. Very. Now, when I came, I walked

00:12:13.539 --> 00:12:18.779
down that way. There's 77 steps. Shall we go

00:12:18.779 --> 00:12:20.919
the way you went? OK. We'll go down to Steerish.

00:12:23.850 --> 00:12:29.620
It is very pretty. Oh, yeah. It's better than

00:12:29.620 --> 00:12:31.639
walking next to somebody's back gardens for a

00:12:31.639 --> 00:12:34.019
while. It feels like we're going more into the

00:12:34.019 --> 00:12:36.279
woods than just behind someone's back garden.

00:12:45.200 --> 00:12:49.830
Don't fall down the steps, Karen. No rush. I'm

00:12:49.830 --> 00:12:53.659
not rushing. I'm going at a reasonable speed.

00:12:53.799 --> 00:12:56.980
I'm going at a speed that isn't increasing, nor

00:12:56.980 --> 00:13:00.360
is it decreasing. Unless you want to race. No!

00:13:00.899 --> 00:13:09.070
It's not necessarily a sensible speed. I'm just

00:13:09.070 --> 00:13:13.509
going to stop talking for a second. before i

00:13:13.509 --> 00:13:22.659
kill myself already at the stream look at that

00:13:22.659 --> 00:13:26.279
you could be in the middle of the jungle but

00:13:26.919 --> 00:13:29.200
really we're only about 30 feet from people's

00:13:29.200 --> 00:13:31.220
back gardens oh it's really off -putting they've

00:13:31.220 --> 00:13:33.220
changed the size of the steps for the last part

00:13:33.220 --> 00:13:38.539
yeah they're not they're not consistent so when

00:13:38.539 --> 00:13:42.139
i came for a walk i sort of got here and i was

00:13:42.139 --> 00:13:46.070
like well this is a nice area so you can go up

00:13:46.070 --> 00:13:48.070
the hill in that direction i'm using my stick

00:13:48.070 --> 00:13:51.909
as a pointer i didn't go that way i came down

00:13:51.909 --> 00:13:59.210
here and then where i sat literally there just

00:13:59.559 --> 00:14:02.200
there yeah i had my little chair out the water's

00:14:02.200 --> 00:14:05.960
dropped again since i was here we've had some

00:14:05.960 --> 00:14:08.759
rain as well we have had rain and then we can

00:14:08.759 --> 00:14:10.879
walk down this way and snake along the river

00:14:10.879 --> 00:14:12.700
and that takes us to the benches in a little

00:14:12.700 --> 00:14:17.909
meadow oh lovely yeah Oh, where did you want

00:14:17.909 --> 00:14:21.370
to stop for, I guess, breakfast? We can do breakfast

00:14:21.370 --> 00:14:24.450
immediately if you want. You want to do it here?

00:14:24.690 --> 00:14:27.669
Yeah, might as well. All right. Down and around.

00:14:28.559 --> 00:14:33.080
I'll take the shadow away. There's a lot of industry

00:14:33.080 --> 00:14:36.200
down here. There was a gasworks. I think there

00:14:36.200 --> 00:14:40.919
was some sort of metalworks in Neath as well.

00:14:43.090 --> 00:14:45.590
There's a lot of tin and copper in Swansea internationally.

00:14:45.889 --> 00:14:48.649
Yeah, so Natural Resources Wales don't actually

00:14:48.649 --> 00:14:50.929
recommend swimming, wild swimming in the River

00:14:50.929 --> 00:14:54.049
Cliddock, which is what this is. Which is a shame

00:14:54.049 --> 00:14:55.870
because there's a lovely deep pool a bit further

00:14:55.870 --> 00:15:00.649
down the road, which would be perfect, perfect

00:15:01.610 --> 00:15:06.580
for swimming. Right, shall we set ourselves up

00:15:06.580 --> 00:15:08.980
and pause temporarily? Yes, let's see what we've

00:15:08.980 --> 00:15:28.200
got. It's turned off. label that that is the

00:15:28.200 --> 00:15:40.940
flame adjuster. I'm guessing that part... I think

00:15:40.940 --> 00:15:43.080
it works just like a gas oven, right? The more

00:15:43.080 --> 00:15:47.370
you twist it, the harder the gas comes out. Yeah,

00:15:47.389 --> 00:15:49.669
I'm guessing that no parts are labelled, but

00:15:49.669 --> 00:15:51.210
I'm guessing that's the flame adjuster, right?

00:15:51.870 --> 00:15:54.590
I would say so. I think that's the open -close

00:15:54.590 --> 00:16:04.000
tap. It's in my hand. Want me to do the honours?

00:16:04.179 --> 00:16:19.340
Oh, let's put some water in here as well. It

00:16:19.340 --> 00:16:23.919
serves to keep it upright. How do I turn it off?

00:16:24.080 --> 00:16:27.659
Right, OK. Left is open. No, yeah, left is open.

00:16:28.220 --> 00:16:31.070
Righty -tighty, lefty -loosey. Sorry, I wasted

00:16:31.070 --> 00:16:32.629
a bit of gas. Oh, that's all right. Is everything

00:16:32.629 --> 00:16:35.129
all right? Yes, I'm fine. The gas burner's fine.

00:16:35.350 --> 00:16:42.159
We're all good. Lost a foot off my chair. I wonder

00:16:42.159 --> 00:16:47.059
where that is. Oh, I left it in the mud last

00:16:47.059 --> 00:16:57.039
time I was here. And look what we've got to choose

00:16:57.039 --> 00:17:00.970
from for breakfast. Oh, yeah. My new one. That's

00:17:00.970 --> 00:17:05.480
the one I went for, isn't it? Yeah, I think so.

00:17:08.029 --> 00:17:11.680
I've got beef nasi. Goreng Kashmiri potato curry.

00:17:11.900 --> 00:17:14.559
Nice. Oh, I've got a breakfast burrito filling.

00:17:15.309 --> 00:17:18.029
And then there's chicken casserole with pasta

00:17:18.029 --> 00:17:21.710
shells. Rajma masala, chocolate pudding and chocolate

00:17:21.710 --> 00:17:24.690
sauce, fruit flapjack, nuts, stuff and drinks.

00:17:24.930 --> 00:17:29.269
Cool. I've got my barbecue breakfast beans. Oh,

00:17:29.289 --> 00:17:31.569
nice. You are going to be a farty motherfucker

00:17:31.569 --> 00:17:36.519
later. What's this? Oh, vanilla flavour biscuits.

00:17:37.279 --> 00:17:45.779
I guess that's for snacks. Nib -nibs. Spicy mini

00:17:45.779 --> 00:17:49.220
breadsticks. Ho, ho, ho, ho, yeah. Spicy mini

00:17:49.220 --> 00:17:52.039
breadsticks. You got that? Is that your beans?

00:17:52.240 --> 00:17:56.059
Yeah. Brekkie beans. Ha, ha. Will these even

00:17:56.059 --> 00:18:02.990
fit in here? Just squeeze it. They'll warm up

00:18:02.990 --> 00:18:06.519
enough, I'm sure. Yeah, fine. There we go. What

00:18:06.519 --> 00:18:08.940
have we got? We've got breakfast burrito fillings

00:18:08.940 --> 00:18:11.720
with beans, yellow split peas and red peppers

00:18:11.720 --> 00:18:17.740
in a spiced tomato sauce. Mmm. yummy energy per

00:18:17.740 --> 00:18:21.039
100 kilos. No, per 100 grams, not 100 kilos.

00:18:23.819 --> 00:18:27.559
Calories is 131 calories per 100 grams. It's

00:18:27.559 --> 00:18:32.740
a 300 gram pack, so that's 393 calories for breakfast.

00:18:34.440 --> 00:18:41.579
Whoa! Lefty, loosey, righty, sighty. That's it.

00:18:42.019 --> 00:18:46.109
That was pretty low down. That is enthusiastic.

00:18:48.269 --> 00:18:51.130
This is where we find out if Karen has made this

00:18:51.130 --> 00:19:00.220
stable enough with a couple of stones. I love

00:19:00.220 --> 00:19:11.630
the smell of gas in the morning. I need to try

00:19:11.630 --> 00:19:13.849
and lift this side up a bit more. I know, I put

00:19:13.849 --> 00:19:16.190
a stone in the front side of it, but not the

00:19:16.190 --> 00:19:40.619
back side. You can help instead of filming while

00:19:40.619 --> 00:19:43.420
I'm messing around with the actual thing on fire.

00:19:43.559 --> 00:19:46.839
That's a valid point. That's a very valid point.

00:19:52.349 --> 00:19:56.190
Right, now let's just switch this off. Christ.

00:19:56.710 --> 00:20:02.299
That is violent. Right, we need more stone here.

00:20:03.710 --> 00:20:07.240
Right, let's see how level that is with some

00:20:07.240 --> 00:20:08.900
water in. No, that's more wobbly than it was.

00:20:15.730 --> 00:20:19.410
Yes, stable, but also we need to get it level.

00:20:22.940 --> 00:20:30.450
Looks okay. It's about level. Yeah, and it's

00:20:30.450 --> 00:20:58.700
reasonably stable. Well done. Cheers. Sorry I

00:20:58.700 --> 00:21:10.019
was useless. Just nuts. Chicken casserole. Chocolate

00:21:10.019 --> 00:21:15.769
pudding looks surprisingly big. And a bag of

00:21:15.769 --> 00:21:25.299
bits. Ooh, hot chocolate. Something in here for

00:21:25.299 --> 00:21:31.730
external use only. I hope you're bloody happy,

00:21:31.869 --> 00:21:37.009
Val. Pardon? I was talking to Val. Oh. He's not

00:21:37.009 --> 00:21:39.609
answering back. I like these emergency matches.

00:21:40.089 --> 00:21:42.029
Look at those bad boys. They're bright pink.

00:21:42.589 --> 00:21:44.730
Oh, they're going to be waterproof ones. Waterproof,

00:21:44.789 --> 00:21:47.390
windproof. Oh, there's a pack of tissues in here.

00:21:47.529 --> 00:21:52.700
I think there's some alcohol wipes as well. And

00:21:52.700 --> 00:21:57.529
a spork. You didn't need to raid my cupboards

00:21:57.529 --> 00:22:00.109
for all my bits and bobs to give us as gifts.

00:22:00.190 --> 00:22:03.329
Thanks for that. Well, I suppose we should be

00:22:03.329 --> 00:22:06.380
grateful that you went to the extra effort. Do

00:22:06.380 --> 00:22:07.740
we know how long we have to cook these things

00:22:07.740 --> 00:22:13.390
for? A couple of minutes until the water starts

00:22:13.390 --> 00:22:18.950
boiling, I think. Just needs to be warmed. Ooh,

00:22:19.049 --> 00:22:24.430
plum jam. Squidgy, squidgy. Put that on my vanilla

00:22:24.430 --> 00:22:31.930
biscuits. There's an amount of food in these.

00:22:33.450 --> 00:22:36.579
I'm genuinely quite shocked. I forgot to bring

00:22:36.579 --> 00:22:41.569
my pen knife. Oh, no. I've sliced the bags. They've

00:22:41.569 --> 00:22:43.910
got a little teary bit. They do have a teary

00:22:43.910 --> 00:22:51.519
bit. Did you get any spicy mini breadsticks?

00:22:52.039 --> 00:22:55.259
I haven't. Yes, I have by the look of it. I haven't

00:22:55.259 --> 00:23:03.730
properly looked through all mine. The old flip

00:23:03.799 --> 00:23:11.960
and switch. Don't burn yourself. Oh, yeah, that

00:23:11.960 --> 00:23:16.170
water's pretty fucking hot. And the good thing

00:23:16.170 --> 00:23:18.730
is we can reuse the same water for mine. Oh,

00:23:18.730 --> 00:23:20.470
yeah, so I plan to do give us a few minutes and

00:23:20.470 --> 00:23:29.170
I'll swap these over. Heat the pouch in boiling

00:23:29.170 --> 00:23:34.019
water for 10 minutes. Carefully open at the tear

00:23:34.019 --> 00:23:38.779
notch. Stir and consume. Let's turn this down

00:23:38.779 --> 00:23:50.880
a little bit. There we go. There's still flame

00:23:50.880 --> 00:23:53.559
on that, isn't there? Yes, I can hear it. And

00:23:53.559 --> 00:23:56.559
it is still bubbling. Bubbling. Hot, hot, hot.

00:23:59.349 --> 00:24:02.680
Heat shell beans. Are they hot enough? Yeah.

00:24:03.500 --> 00:24:06.259
I don't know. Well, outside. Talk about the inside.

00:24:07.150 --> 00:24:13.720
If I mix them round. Actually, it is quite warm.

00:24:16.970 --> 00:24:21.009
Oh, it's not gusseted. It's brilliant. So it

00:24:21.009 --> 00:24:23.730
doesn't even... Clean it against something. Yeah.

00:24:30.450 --> 00:24:34.480
Do you want to turn it over? I'll hold it. I

00:24:34.480 --> 00:24:47.690
just did turn it over. Oh, sorry. It's a nice

00:24:47.690 --> 00:25:04.630
place, though. Do you reckon that's had 10 minutes

00:25:04.630 --> 00:25:09.500
yet? Probably has, hasn't it? It just needs to

00:25:09.500 --> 00:25:14.470
be heated. Give it a poke and see how warm you

00:25:14.470 --> 00:25:39.569
feel it is. I'm doing a cloth to clean it. No.

00:25:40.170 --> 00:25:53.230
It's actually pretty nice. Is it nice? Beans

00:25:53.230 --> 00:25:56.630
and plant -based bacon pieces. Smoky barbecue

00:25:56.630 --> 00:26:03.859
sauce. Haricot beans, butter beans, and red kidney

00:26:03.859 --> 00:26:32.750
beans. Nice. Too warm. That's not bad. What was

00:26:32.750 --> 00:26:34.849
yours? Burrito filling? Burrito filling, yeah.

00:26:35.069 --> 00:26:36.769
Do you have the burritos there as well? Huh?

00:26:36.890 --> 00:26:39.009
Do you have the wraps with them? No, it's just

00:26:39.009 --> 00:26:47.700
the beans and stuff in the middle. Surprisingly

00:26:47.700 --> 00:26:52.299
nice. Beans, which I presume are kidney beans,

00:26:52.480 --> 00:26:55.079
because they look kidney beany. Yellow split

00:26:55.079 --> 00:27:03.339
peas, red peppers. Tomato sauce. Spicy. Oh, I

00:27:03.339 --> 00:27:15.680
dropped a bean. That's disappointing. That's

00:27:15.680 --> 00:27:18.319
to be said, if I was out camping or at a festival

00:27:18.319 --> 00:27:20.700
and this was a breakfast option, I'd be like,

00:27:20.799 --> 00:27:23.839
yeah, it's alright. Ten minutes in the water.

00:27:25.819 --> 00:27:27.660
If you're feeling really frisky, you can always

00:27:27.660 --> 00:27:31.980
have your vanilla biscuits with it. I am very

00:27:31.980 --> 00:27:41.049
stained red now though. That was definitely not

00:27:41.049 --> 00:27:45.359
the worst thing I've ever eaten. Rubbish there.

00:27:46.119 --> 00:27:48.940
Got some hot water for dishes if you want. Give

00:27:48.940 --> 00:27:59.829
that a bit of a swizz. I've got a red face. Yeah.

00:27:59.930 --> 00:28:02.970
I've got a bean juice around me. No. You haven't

00:28:02.970 --> 00:28:05.509
either. I'm just going to face and wipe as well,

00:28:05.509 --> 00:28:14.460
just in case. Oh, not bad, Val. They were tasty.

00:28:15.460 --> 00:28:28.400
Yeah. Nib nibs. Where do you nibble yours? The

00:28:28.400 --> 00:28:30.400
finest spicy mini breadsticks. I'm going to open

00:28:30.400 --> 00:28:32.160
these. I've been eyeing them up since I opened

00:28:32.160 --> 00:28:41.950
the bag. Made in Yorkshire. But Yorkshire bakers.

00:28:42.250 --> 00:28:54.359
I would say. These are more herbed than they

00:28:54.359 --> 00:29:00.859
are spiced. Do you want to go up the hill like

00:29:00.859 --> 00:29:08.779
we did last time? Oh look, people have been leaving

00:29:08.779 --> 00:29:10.559
their rubbish and there's signs everywhere saying

00:29:10.559 --> 00:29:15.910
take your rubbish home. Well, you're still there

00:29:15.910 --> 00:29:20.279
mate. Hmm? Nope, Val's not talking to us. Is

00:29:20.279 --> 00:29:22.119
he ignoring you? Yeah. Did he just want a day

00:29:22.119 --> 00:29:24.279
out and just to be left alone? It's not even

00:29:24.279 --> 00:29:26.740
lighting up anymore and I'm pressing... Is he

00:29:26.740 --> 00:29:38.329
dead? Hello? Val? Valentino? Okay. Oh, well,

00:29:38.349 --> 00:29:41.029
look, we're here now anyway. Let's take him for

00:29:41.029 --> 00:29:43.410
a nice walk. It's a lovely car park. Everyone

00:29:43.410 --> 00:29:46.890
wants a nice car park, of course. Well, he wanted

00:29:46.890 --> 00:29:49.049
to come somewhere nice. There we go, just in

00:29:49.049 --> 00:29:53.829
case. Yeah, here's the evidence. He's asked us

00:29:53.829 --> 00:29:59.289
to test the emergency kit. Yeah. Tom did an out

00:29:59.289 --> 00:30:02.779
-and -about recording episode. Why didn't he

00:30:02.779 --> 00:30:06.480
give the kit to the guys to do the recording?

00:30:06.599 --> 00:30:09.240
Instead of... send going across the country yeah

00:30:09.240 --> 00:30:14.119
surely he lives right next lives he's based exists

00:30:14.119 --> 00:30:18.910
within the same county yeah i don't know why

00:30:18.910 --> 00:30:22.700
is he yeah making us do this have we tortured

00:30:22.700 --> 00:30:25.460
him have we done something to upset him no i

00:30:26.509 --> 00:30:28.009
can only talk about you in the third person because

00:30:28.009 --> 00:30:34.369
you're not answering his back oh it's a nice

00:30:34.369 --> 00:30:38.319
walk up a little hill so We've done this walk

00:30:38.319 --> 00:30:40.900
previously and it's very nice. It's Pentlegare

00:30:40.900 --> 00:30:45.380
Valley Woods on one side of the M4. Hopefully

00:30:45.380 --> 00:30:48.259
you can see my face. I'm just generally just

00:30:48.259 --> 00:30:51.759
pointing the camera at me. I can't see the screen.

00:30:53.039 --> 00:30:54.720
But yeah, this is where we are. We've been here

00:30:54.720 --> 00:30:56.460
before for a nice little walk and we thought

00:30:56.460 --> 00:31:00.259
it would be nice for Val to see, I guess. But

00:31:00.259 --> 00:31:03.759
he's being a bit antisocial. Mainly we like to

00:31:03.759 --> 00:31:05.440
come here because it's quiet and despite being

00:31:05.440 --> 00:31:08.460
summer holidays, it's bugger all people about

00:31:08.460 --> 00:31:12.720
for some reason. Yeah, I am, like I said, that

00:31:12.720 --> 00:31:14.559
very nice gentleman that we bumped into in the

00:31:14.559 --> 00:31:17.819
car park. Walking his dog? Walking his lovely

00:31:17.819 --> 00:31:20.000
little fluffy dog. Oh God, I'm out of breath

00:31:20.000 --> 00:31:24.579
already. What was I going to say? Oh yeah, everyone

00:31:24.579 --> 00:31:27.230
goes to the beach when it's sunny. And I'm like,

00:31:27.329 --> 00:31:32.740
no, don't like sand for a start. It's rough and

00:31:32.740 --> 00:31:34.619
it's coarse and it gets everywhere. I don't mean

00:31:34.619 --> 00:31:42.019
to put sand in a crack. Nobody needs that. So

00:31:42.019 --> 00:31:47.539
I often choose woodland when I'm fit enough to

00:31:47.539 --> 00:31:49.819
get out and about and Adam finds the longest

00:31:49.819 --> 00:31:52.599
walks to take me on. I'm just getting a bit closer

00:31:52.599 --> 00:31:54.299
to you because there's all the nettles that side.

00:31:54.559 --> 00:31:58.710
Oh yeah. Don't get stung. Fuck me. I've really

00:31:58.710 --> 00:32:03.019
been bitten by a horse fly. Thanks Val. Oh she's

00:32:03.019 --> 00:32:07.190
there. An extraordinary amount of dog poop bags

00:32:07.190 --> 00:32:09.670
up here. There's another fly buzzing. There's

00:32:09.670 --> 00:32:14.109
another horse flying. The bastards love me. Well,

00:32:14.109 --> 00:32:21.970
you are just so tasty. Poop bags! Uh -uh. Poop

00:32:21.970 --> 00:32:25.190
bags. On the fence? Yeah. Fuck's sake. Take it

00:32:25.190 --> 00:32:29.349
with you, people. What's wrong with people? All

00:32:29.349 --> 00:32:34.559
right. Pick it up and... Oh, sorry. Knackered.

00:32:34.880 --> 00:32:40.180
Pick it up and find a bin. Or... Teach a dog

00:32:40.180 --> 00:32:45.660
to shit in a drain like they used to back in

00:32:45.660 --> 00:32:48.339
the day when white dog poo was all the rage.

00:32:49.559 --> 00:32:54.309
Oh, free fertilizer though. There's been a horse

00:32:54.309 --> 00:33:00.940
up here. Oh, these look more juicy. What are

00:33:00.940 --> 00:33:05.190
you touching? Is that a blackberry? Yeah, a little

00:33:05.190 --> 00:33:07.349
one. The big one looks like it's mostly been

00:33:07.349 --> 00:33:18.119
eaten. God, there's going to be... So much dodgy

00:33:18.119 --> 00:33:20.140
phone call heavy breathing for me on this microphone.

00:33:23.190 --> 00:33:26.609
Oh, we watched Terminator last night. Still an

00:33:26.609 --> 00:33:30.509
excellent film. Oh my God. I'd forgotten so much

00:33:30.509 --> 00:33:35.099
of it. Ours was the extended version. Yeah. So

00:33:35.099 --> 00:33:37.200
some bits that we... I'd never seen the extended

00:33:37.200 --> 00:33:39.140
version before. So there were scenes that I was

00:33:39.140 --> 00:33:41.839
like, I'm not familiar with these at all. Mind

00:33:41.839 --> 00:33:47.910
yourself. Good looking out. And then right near

00:33:47.910 --> 00:33:52.099
the end. I said to Adam, is this the one with

00:33:52.099 --> 00:33:55.759
the nitrogen? Because they were driving a big

00:33:55.759 --> 00:33:58.960
lorry. Arnie was driving a big lorry. I'm there.

00:33:59.750 --> 00:34:05.170
He's like, no, that's the second one. So the

00:34:05.230 --> 00:34:07.390
ending was, in spite of the fact that I've seen

00:34:07.390 --> 00:34:09.610
the film about a hundred times, must be a decade

00:34:09.610 --> 00:34:12.230
since I've watched it. So the ending was almost

00:34:12.230 --> 00:34:14.730
a surprise. Well, weirdly, as we were talking,

00:34:14.849 --> 00:34:16.789
because we both hadn't seen it in a little while

00:34:16.789 --> 00:34:19.369
ago, well... Hang on, how did they just come

00:34:19.369 --> 00:34:21.769
into this factory? How did Cyberdyne end up with

00:34:21.769 --> 00:34:24.670
the leftover bits? And it turns out that was

00:34:24.670 --> 00:34:26.449
the Cyberdyne factory. Yes, it was. Because she

00:34:26.449 --> 00:34:28.269
rips a page out of the phone book and their plan

00:34:28.269 --> 00:34:30.969
is to blow up Cyberdyne. With six pipe bombs.

00:34:31.070 --> 00:34:33.969
With her shitty pipe bombs. Yeah. Which just

00:34:33.969 --> 00:34:36.190
makes smoke. Yeah, they just make smoke. Yeah.

00:34:36.530 --> 00:34:39.289
Miles Dyson had the bright idea. Oh, it was just

00:34:39.289 --> 00:34:43.809
so lovely to watch, though. After so long. Because

00:34:43.809 --> 00:34:46.110
it was like, oh, I'd forgotten this. I'm wondering

00:34:46.110 --> 00:34:47.829
why Linda Hamilton hasn't been in more stuff.

00:34:48.050 --> 00:34:50.610
Yeah. She's amazing. And why does Arnie look

00:34:50.610 --> 00:34:52.969
so weird after he's been through that fire? And

00:34:52.969 --> 00:34:54.730
it's because they've taken his eyebrows off.

00:34:54.869 --> 00:34:57.230
Yeah. Nice bit of continuity. Yeah. They should

00:34:57.230 --> 00:34:59.469
have singed more of his hair as well. Yeah, I

00:34:59.469 --> 00:35:01.849
agree. They should have. Whether he went, no,

00:35:01.969 --> 00:35:06.429
no, no, that's actually my hair. Yeah. Or they

00:35:06.429 --> 00:35:07.469
could have put a weird wig on him. I don't know.

00:35:07.469 --> 00:35:09.969
He looked like he was wearing a wig in a few

00:35:09.969 --> 00:35:15.820
scenes. But, oh, saw Arnie Dong. Uncut entrance,

00:35:16.219 --> 00:35:20.119
literal entrance of Arnold Schwarzenegger. The

00:35:20.119 --> 00:35:24.179
shadow lobbing from side to side. Yeah. And Junior

00:35:24.179 --> 00:35:26.659
Schwarzenegger, which isn't that fucking Junior,

00:35:26.760 --> 00:35:31.699
actually. Almost soft. To be fair, you don't

00:35:31.699 --> 00:35:33.400
really leave much of the imagination of all the

00:35:33.400 --> 00:35:35.780
pouches he's been posing in over the years. That's

00:35:35.780 --> 00:35:38.719
very true, but you'd think, especially with,

00:35:38.760 --> 00:35:41.519
like, The time that he was a bodybuilder, you

00:35:41.519 --> 00:35:46.489
know, in the 80s and the 90s, that was when anabolic

00:35:46.489 --> 00:35:51.389
steroid use was at its highest. And most men

00:35:51.389 --> 00:35:54.489
pretty much lose their dick and balls after habitual

00:35:54.489 --> 00:35:58.630
use of anabolic steroids. Maybe his manager didn't

00:35:58.630 --> 00:36:00.369
have him on quite as much as the other fellas.

00:36:00.670 --> 00:36:03.250
Yeah, or maybe he was just a cleaner competitor.

00:36:03.769 --> 00:36:06.130
Oh no, he did take steroids. There we are then.

00:36:06.449 --> 00:36:10.619
I believe it was... partly unknown to him from

00:36:10.619 --> 00:36:14.659
my gathering. His manager was... Have these vitamin

00:36:14.659 --> 00:36:20.010
tablets. Yeah. Supplements, possibly. But again,

00:36:20.090 --> 00:36:22.429
that's... I don't know if I'm conflating some

00:36:22.429 --> 00:36:26.320
stories there. Maybe. Back in the day when I

00:36:26.320 --> 00:36:29.019
was into bodybuilding, I read quite a bit about

00:36:29.019 --> 00:36:35.260
Arnie. I can't remember any of it now. Oh, my

00:36:35.260 --> 00:36:39.619
God. So sorry, listeners. It is hot and there's

00:36:39.619 --> 00:36:42.829
no shade. It is hot. Not sure what the temperature

00:36:42.829 --> 00:36:45.250
is. It's probably high 20s. It's not in the 30s,

00:36:45.250 --> 00:36:48.050
I don't think. My wife doesn't tell me and Val's

00:36:48.050 --> 00:36:50.769
not showing anything. And I'm not going to mess

00:36:50.769 --> 00:36:52.309
with my phone because it'll just stop recording

00:36:52.309 --> 00:36:56.570
and then I'll ruin everything. So it's a bit

00:36:56.570 --> 00:36:59.030
warm. I've just walked up a bloody big hill,

00:36:59.110 --> 00:37:05.889
which I don't do on a daily basis. So yeah, apologies

00:37:05.889 --> 00:37:08.559
for the sounding like I've just run a marathon

00:37:08.559 --> 00:37:15.230
when I've walked 200 yards. joys of being me

00:37:15.900 --> 00:37:28.369
it's still really quite green up here considering

00:37:28.369 --> 00:37:34.000
how hot it's been for how long well weather forecast

00:37:34.000 --> 00:37:37.260
app says it's 24 degrees but it feels a lot more

00:37:37.260 --> 00:37:44.960
feels a lot more than 24 a lot more i was gonna

00:37:44.960 --> 00:37:47.039
try and make a kiefer savill and joke then they

00:37:47.039 --> 00:37:54.760
just wouldn't come damn it chloe yeah I think

00:37:54.760 --> 00:37:56.719
I only watched season one and a half of season

00:37:56.719 --> 00:37:58.699
two of 24, so... Ah, so you might not even know

00:37:58.699 --> 00:38:01.039
Chloe. My joke material on that subject matter

00:38:01.039 --> 00:38:06.570
is pretty slim anyway. Was Chloe in season two?

00:38:07.179 --> 00:38:09.699
I don't know. She was the lady, the geeky girl

00:38:09.699 --> 00:38:12.539
behind the desk. When was it on telly, like 1996?

00:38:14.340 --> 00:38:17.719
Was it post -millennium? Oh, yeah, yeah. Yeah,

00:38:18.840 --> 00:38:23.699
I think it was a post -millennium. Maybe it was

00:38:23.699 --> 00:38:27.480
1999 sort of time, just on the verge of the millennium.

00:38:31.570 --> 00:38:42.929
Doing an impression of a horse. Nice flowers.

00:38:44.389 --> 00:38:48.179
Pretty. Don't know what any of them are. Adam's

00:38:48.179 --> 00:38:50.159
got an app on his phone that would tell us. Oh,

00:38:50.219 --> 00:38:52.260
yeah. I'm not going to force him to do that.

00:38:52.639 --> 00:38:57.670
Let's give it a go. There's yellow ones. And

00:38:57.670 --> 00:39:02.599
pink ones. And all the blackberries growing in

00:39:02.599 --> 00:39:07.829
the background. God, don't follow. Appreciate

00:39:07.829 --> 00:39:12.760
the effort I'm putting in. And you. But more

00:39:12.760 --> 00:39:15.139
me, because I'm selfish. Oh, flutterbys. Great

00:39:15.139 --> 00:39:19.349
willow herbs. A what? A willow? Great willow

00:39:19.349 --> 00:39:23.280
herb. A pink one, apparently. And common fleabane.

00:39:23.659 --> 00:39:26.360
Very nice. These sound like Harry Potter spells.

00:39:28.150 --> 00:39:30.510
No Harry Potter references in our podcast, thank

00:39:30.510 --> 00:39:38.559
you. Yeah, don't, otherwise I'll get onto the

00:39:38.559 --> 00:39:43.719
Cooper ad. Yeah, I hope Val appreciates the effort

00:39:43.719 --> 00:39:47.550
that we're putting in. We'll stop and have a

00:39:47.550 --> 00:39:49.750
snack in some shade, I think. Yeah, that's a

00:39:49.750 --> 00:39:53.369
good idea. That's a good idea. And a drink. A

00:39:53.369 --> 00:40:02.320
bit of hydration. Because it's warm. The leaves

00:40:02.320 --> 00:40:05.480
on the trees aren't as floppy up here as I expected

00:40:05.480 --> 00:40:09.300
them to be. Like on the little drive down to

00:40:09.300 --> 00:40:12.380
the car park for here. You can see all the leaves

00:40:12.380 --> 00:40:14.880
on the trees are very wilted. They're all floppy.

00:40:15.159 --> 00:40:18.510
And parched. Yeah. Like the trees are really

00:40:18.510 --> 00:40:22.329
just not getting enough water. But weirdly, at

00:40:22.329 --> 00:40:25.530
the top of the hill, they're looking really healthy.

00:40:26.670 --> 00:40:28.550
Because we're in the other river, we've got some

00:40:28.550 --> 00:40:30.670
good nutrients in the soil here. Oh yeah, good

00:40:30.670 --> 00:40:35.460
point. There is a stream. River, stream. When

00:40:35.460 --> 00:40:44.510
does a stream become a river? 18. When does a

00:40:44.510 --> 00:40:48.269
spring become a stream? I think when it levels

00:40:48.269 --> 00:40:52.469
off a little bit. Or is it when it runs out of

00:40:52.469 --> 00:40:59.409
the ground? Maybe. Oh dear. It's a nice breeze.

00:40:59.849 --> 00:41:10.880
Let's investigate what these flowers are. Himalayan

00:41:10.880 --> 00:41:20.429
balsam. I'm going to hazard a guess. Yes. You

00:41:20.429 --> 00:41:23.190
know, do you want to know how I know that that's

00:41:23.190 --> 00:41:25.989
Himalayan balsam? You've seen it before. I had

00:41:25.989 --> 00:41:28.530
a garden infested with it. And they were seven

00:41:28.530 --> 00:41:32.789
feet tall. And I had to pull them all up. And

00:41:32.789 --> 00:41:34.769
then a man came in and dug all the ground up.

00:41:35.420 --> 00:41:37.400
put cement down so they couldn't grow back which

00:41:37.400 --> 00:41:38.820
is pretty much the only way to deal with it it's

00:41:38.820 --> 00:41:41.219
almost as bad as japanese knotweed yeah you get

00:41:41.219 --> 00:41:45.050
the roots yeah i think the only difference really

00:41:45.050 --> 00:41:47.309
major difference between himalayan balsam and

00:41:47.309 --> 00:41:50.070
japanese knotweed is the root structure because

00:41:50.070 --> 00:41:52.269
you can just pull a balsam up by its root ball

00:41:52.269 --> 00:41:54.730
you could just pull the the stem and the whole

00:41:54.730 --> 00:41:57.409
thing will come out the ground whereas japanese

00:41:57.409 --> 00:42:01.090
knotweed spreads out yeah it's like it's like

00:42:01.090 --> 00:42:03.349
the mycelial network japanese not really it goes

00:42:03.349 --> 00:42:07.050
everywhere that's why it up your land and up

00:42:07.050 --> 00:42:10.289
your foundations right i think we just sat in

00:42:10.289 --> 00:42:13.210
the path and went there last we did we just went

00:42:13.210 --> 00:42:15.630
about 30 yards down that way and had a little

00:42:15.630 --> 00:42:19.610
sit should we do the same yeah all right yeah

00:42:19.960 --> 00:42:21.940
i think people there's not many people here probably

00:42:21.940 --> 00:42:29.300
gonna be sticking to the main path oh flutterbys

00:42:29.300 --> 00:42:36.559
yeah you go just round the bend we're not visible

00:42:36.559 --> 00:42:41.239
from the main path Go round the twist. Have you

00:42:41.239 --> 00:42:46.320
ever felt like this? Many times. I used to love

00:42:46.320 --> 00:42:48.719
round the twist. That was the Australian one

00:42:48.719 --> 00:42:50.079
when they lived in the lighthouse, right? Yeah.

00:42:51.050 --> 00:42:55.389
Good. Brilliant show. It was a great show. I

00:42:55.389 --> 00:42:59.969
remember the one with the fox that had like the

00:42:59.969 --> 00:43:03.550
orange crystals for eyes and it was like a fox

00:43:03.550 --> 00:43:06.210
scarf, like a skinned fox, but it was alive.

00:43:08.550 --> 00:43:11.250
And there was a mermaid episode as well that

00:43:11.250 --> 00:43:15.489
I remember. Go by that tree there, the first

00:43:15.489 --> 00:43:18.010
tree? Yes, that's probably exactly where we sat

00:43:18.010 --> 00:43:20.489
last time, actually. Nice flat area. I don't

00:43:20.489 --> 00:43:22.769
remember much about what happened in the show

00:43:22.769 --> 00:43:24.849
other than, yeah, it was a family living in a

00:43:24.849 --> 00:43:27.530
lighthouse. Yeah. Some wacky adventures happened

00:43:27.530 --> 00:43:29.949
every week and it had a pretty cool theme to

00:43:29.949 --> 00:43:42.420
it. Yeah. Very entertaining. Right. It's about

00:43:42.420 --> 00:43:48.309
10 degrees cooler in the shed. Right. Let's put

00:43:48.309 --> 00:43:51.030
it for Val's ground sheet. Okay. It's my ground

00:43:51.030 --> 00:43:52.989
sheet. You just robbed it. Shall I press pause

00:43:52.989 --> 00:43:56.030
on this while we set up? Yeah. Press and pause.

00:43:56.190 --> 00:44:08.369
Back soon. Bye, bye, bye. Oh, there he is. Showing

00:44:08.369 --> 00:44:18.119
up now. But he's still not talking to us. Maybe

00:44:18.119 --> 00:44:24.420
he's just enjoying the tour. Hopefully. I mean,

00:44:24.440 --> 00:44:26.239
like, considering he went to the lengths of sending

00:44:26.239 --> 00:44:29.619
us a laptop. But the actual watch that he's put

00:44:29.619 --> 00:44:34.920
himself in. Seems... Shit. Well, I didn't want

00:44:34.920 --> 00:44:39.409
to say an economical choice, maybe. Yeah, we

00:44:39.409 --> 00:44:49.949
can mock him for that later then. Cheers. Get

00:44:49.949 --> 00:44:55.679
me a breadstick. It's got a bit of spice in it.

00:44:56.300 --> 00:44:59.139
It took me about five breadsticks to get one

00:44:59.139 --> 00:45:01.619
with a flavour of chilli. The rest of them just

00:45:01.619 --> 00:45:07.699
tasted mostly like rosemary. They're nib -nibs.

00:45:09.409 --> 00:45:12.570
Yeah, a huge fan. Not unpleasant. They'd be nice

00:45:12.570 --> 00:45:16.690
with, like, a hummus. They need moisture with

00:45:16.690 --> 00:45:20.329
them. They'd be good with a hummus. Savory food

00:45:20.329 --> 00:45:24.690
loop. Or a guacamole type. A nice dip. Not necessarily

00:45:24.690 --> 00:45:29.269
a salsa. Because then you've got two lots of

00:45:29.269 --> 00:45:31.590
spices competing with one another. Like something

00:45:31.590 --> 00:45:33.909
a bit more neutral. Even if it was a cheese spread

00:45:33.909 --> 00:45:37.489
or something, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. The seriously

00:45:37.489 --> 00:45:40.989
strong cheese spread with them. That'd be quite

00:45:40.989 --> 00:45:42.789
nice. They can even do a little knock -off Philadelphia

00:45:42.789 --> 00:45:50.159
thing, yeah. Nom, nom, nom. Not very nice, but

00:45:50.159 --> 00:45:54.000
they are quite moorish. They're full of MSG.

00:45:58.150 --> 00:46:09.349
They are quite nice. Yeah. Or even like a red

00:46:09.349 --> 00:46:14.250
pepper dip. Maybe something with a hint of sweetness

00:46:14.250 --> 00:46:18.400
to combat the savoury, but not overtake it. Not

00:46:18.400 --> 00:46:20.539
add to the huge amounts of salt that are clearly

00:46:20.539 --> 00:46:24.059
in here. I'm guessing they must do those in proper

00:46:24.059 --> 00:46:28.949
breadstick sizes as well. They might do. check

00:46:28.949 --> 00:46:32.800
out yorkshire bakers see if they do finest maxi

00:46:32.800 --> 00:46:36.789
breadsticks as well i can still taste that breadstick

00:46:36.789 --> 00:46:39.409
the spice is still loitering i only had one it

00:46:39.409 --> 00:46:41.650
was still there you've got the better bag i can

00:46:41.650 --> 00:46:45.489
finish those okay i'm all right with the lingering

00:46:45.489 --> 00:46:47.869
flavor i don't need to suck too much more moisture

00:46:47.869 --> 00:46:51.849
out of my mouth give the expected nature three

00:46:51.849 --> 00:46:57.530
left they're all right not amazing but they're

00:46:57.530 --> 00:47:01.679
all right something for the birds and the squizzles

00:47:12.650 --> 00:47:19.030
Good job we didn't bring the big blanket. Otherwise

00:47:19.030 --> 00:47:20.469
you'd be waking me up and be like, go on, Karen.

00:47:21.800 --> 00:47:26.860
Part of the walk. Baby, hello. You go walk. Get

00:47:26.860 --> 00:47:32.179
me on the way back. Should we play the board

00:47:32.179 --> 00:47:34.260
game or should we do it on the table? I don't

00:47:34.260 --> 00:47:36.139
mind. We can play. I mean, there's not much of

00:47:36.139 --> 00:47:37.880
a breeze up here. We could play it up here. Yeah.

00:47:39.389 --> 00:47:41.110
I don't know if we'd be better playing who's

00:47:41.110 --> 00:47:43.289
who on the table whilst we wait for food to cook.

00:47:43.889 --> 00:47:48.210
Ah, yeah. That's probably a good point. Right,

00:47:48.289 --> 00:47:50.769
so we've set up our base camp. We have. Shall

00:47:50.769 --> 00:47:54.050
we see what we've got from the way of snacks?

00:47:54.369 --> 00:47:57.969
Yes, what's in the snack box that you got sent

00:47:57.969 --> 00:48:00.110
to us? So these were the ones that you grabbed

00:48:00.110 --> 00:48:04.210
from your bag. Oh, yes. What did you get? I've

00:48:04.210 --> 00:48:09.130
got some very sexy sounding vanilla flavour biscuits

00:48:09.130 --> 00:48:22.449
with some plum jam. And then this. is a fruit

00:48:22.449 --> 00:48:26.530
flapjack, fruit and oat snack bar. 45 % oats.

00:48:26.789 --> 00:48:32.579
What have you got? I've got salted peanuts. Deez

00:48:32.579 --> 00:48:40.260
nuts. Nib knob oat biscuits, which seem destroyed

00:48:40.260 --> 00:48:44.159
and shattered into a billion pieces. They're

00:48:44.159 --> 00:48:52.820
remnants of biscuits. I've got a cherry and coconut

00:48:52.820 --> 00:48:57.550
flapjack, which seems quite dense. They are quite

00:48:57.550 --> 00:49:01.730
heavy, the flapjacks. And I've got apricot jam.

00:49:02.030 --> 00:49:07.630
Oh, I lucked out on the jam selections. I don't

00:49:07.630 --> 00:49:09.309
think I've got anything to actually put the...

00:49:09.309 --> 00:49:12.250
Put them on your oat biscuits. I don't think

00:49:12.250 --> 00:49:14.510
I've got enough biscuits to put it on. We'll

00:49:14.510 --> 00:49:17.289
find out when you open it. I'm going to start

00:49:17.289 --> 00:49:25.429
with the peanuts. Shall we... I left the game

00:49:25.429 --> 00:49:29.730
in the van. We'll just do snacks and we'll have

00:49:29.730 --> 00:49:33.059
a game and tighten the box. Back up. I thought

00:49:33.059 --> 00:49:34.820
we'd travel light. I thought we were just going

00:49:34.820 --> 00:49:39.579
for a stroll. That's Michael probably. Yeah,

00:49:40.179 --> 00:49:43.000
I should have just brought an entire bag. Apologies

00:49:43.000 --> 00:49:46.860
for packet opening noises. Standard peanuts first.

00:49:51.119 --> 00:49:54.219
It tastes a bit like old peanuts. Not very salty.

00:49:55.420 --> 00:49:58.159
Not very salty. That's surprising considering

00:49:58.159 --> 00:50:02.239
how much salt in general is in pre -packaged

00:50:02.239 --> 00:50:08.429
food. Oh, they look cute. 0 .6 grams. per 100

00:50:08.429 --> 00:50:13.039
grams and there are 50 grams. I got 0 .3 grams

00:50:13.039 --> 00:50:16.860
of salt. A little vanilla biscuit. That's quite

00:50:16.860 --> 00:50:19.159
cute. That's going to hold some jam nicely. That

00:50:19.159 --> 00:50:20.519
is going to hold some jam. Would you like to

00:50:20.519 --> 00:50:22.880
try a vanilla biscuit? I'll try an intact vanilla

00:50:22.880 --> 00:50:28.429
biscuit. Thank you. Trying to get the jam everywhere.

00:50:29.010 --> 00:50:32.880
Nice vanilla smell to it as well. It's an absolutely

00:50:32.880 --> 00:50:37.030
standard biscuit. Nice and sweet. I feel like

00:50:37.030 --> 00:50:38.570
I should have squeezed this jam about before

00:50:38.570 --> 00:50:42.699
I put it in my arms. orange plum i was expecting

00:50:42.699 --> 00:50:48.659
it to be purple let's see if i've got a biscuit

00:50:48.659 --> 00:51:00.980
in here at all oh that's quite nice oh they are

00:51:00.980 --> 00:51:06.280
tiny biscuit chunks tiny tiny things they're

00:51:08.010 --> 00:51:13.119
quite nice very sweet let's see if we like a

00:51:13.119 --> 00:51:24.530
bit of apricot jam oh the jam's actually quite

00:51:24.530 --> 00:51:29.099
nice is it i'm always a bit wary of apricot for

00:51:29.099 --> 00:51:31.789
some reason I don't know why, because I used

00:51:31.789 --> 00:51:37.030
to love making peach and apricot crumble. I've

00:51:37.030 --> 00:51:41.159
not made a crumble for years. Secret to a good

00:51:41.159 --> 00:51:45.369
old school crumble. Swap out an ounce of your

00:51:45.369 --> 00:51:48.349
flour and replace it with an extra ounce of sugar.

00:51:50.860 --> 00:51:54.659
Very crumbly. Terribly unhealthy, but also delicious.

00:51:56.110 --> 00:52:02.750
That was nice with jam. Your jam is lovely. It

00:52:02.750 --> 00:52:05.099
is nice, isn't it? Can you try one of mine with

00:52:05.099 --> 00:52:08.239
my gem? No, I'm going to stick with mine. I'm

00:52:08.239 --> 00:52:11.889
going to dodge the apricot. Again, no sensible

00:52:11.889 --> 00:52:18.190
reason for it. That's just who I am today. A

00:52:18.190 --> 00:52:20.289
little bit of tartness with the apricot. Let's

00:52:20.289 --> 00:52:33.889
try some of this flapjack. Looks like it's held

00:52:33.889 --> 00:52:40.300
together quite well. Oh, yeah. Standard bit of

00:52:40.300 --> 00:52:47.199
flapjack. I'll have a bit. Just a try. It's a...

00:52:47.610 --> 00:52:50.960
Cherry and coconut. Definitely taste of cherry.

00:52:52.860 --> 00:52:55.099
I don't know if there's any cherry chunks in

00:52:55.099 --> 00:52:57.219
that or if it's cherry flavouring, but the cherry

00:52:57.219 --> 00:52:58.800
definitely carries through and I didn't have

00:52:58.800 --> 00:53:02.139
any actual pieces of cherry in that. I'm not

00:53:02.139 --> 00:53:06.510
tasting any coconut. You're just troughing out

00:53:06.510 --> 00:53:09.909
of your hand. I have to. There's just bits left.

00:53:11.920 --> 00:53:15.059
The structural integrity is gone. You said it

00:53:15.059 --> 00:53:17.500
held together well. It's just really good packaging.

00:53:18.739 --> 00:53:30.250
Until I broke it. Tasty. I'll open my flapjack

00:53:30.250 --> 00:53:33.690
and see what that tastes like as well. Fruit

00:53:34.099 --> 00:53:43.639
flapjack. I've got jam on the packet. I've never

00:53:43.639 --> 00:53:46.500
had orange plum jam, but that's really nice.

00:53:46.920 --> 00:53:51.320
Oh, this definitely, this is falling apart in

00:53:51.320 --> 00:53:53.119
the packet. I guess the insides of plums are

00:53:53.119 --> 00:53:56.380
kind of orange anyway. Yeah, I guess it's only

00:53:56.380 --> 00:53:58.340
really the skin that gives them the colour. Yeah,

00:53:58.400 --> 00:54:03.880
that's true. Although you can get orange plums,

00:54:03.880 --> 00:54:06.940
I think. What was yours? Generic fruit. Yeah,

00:54:06.940 --> 00:54:10.340
it's just sultanas and raisins. It's more like

00:54:10.340 --> 00:54:22.429
a muesli. An amuesli. That's strong flavoured.

00:54:22.750 --> 00:54:24.550
Yours has got the, your flapjack's got the nicer

00:54:24.550 --> 00:54:26.750
flavour. You won on the flapjack. I won on the

00:54:26.750 --> 00:54:28.769
jam. Yeah. I think we're 50 -50 on the biscuits.

00:54:30.989 --> 00:54:33.269
Yeah, surprisingly. I thought those were going

00:54:33.269 --> 00:54:35.250
to be, from how they felt. I thought they would

00:54:35.250 --> 00:54:41.260
be really dry and just suck. Any molecule of

00:54:41.260 --> 00:54:45.500
saliva away from you and bone marrow out of your

00:54:45.500 --> 00:54:50.400
body. Like most oaty based things do. But no,

00:54:50.460 --> 00:54:52.719
those are really nice. Not remotely oat cake

00:54:52.719 --> 00:54:55.099
dry at all. Very nice biscuit. Do you want a

00:54:55.099 --> 00:55:03.010
gobble of my nuts? Maybe later. But yeah, I'm

00:55:03.010 --> 00:55:04.530
going to bag those bin of the biscuits for later.

00:55:05.030 --> 00:55:08.909
They're good. They're not going to waste. I'm

00:55:08.909 --> 00:55:10.250
not going to sit here and eat the whole thing

00:55:10.250 --> 00:55:14.079
because I know we've got main meals as well.

00:55:16.079 --> 00:55:17.980
Valentino really did go all out on making sure

00:55:17.980 --> 00:55:22.219
we were fed on our emergency day. As we're here,

00:55:22.500 --> 00:55:26.969
do you want to do a tat in the box? Or tat out

00:55:26.969 --> 00:55:30.550
of the box? My tat is in the van. Well, we can

00:55:30.550 --> 00:55:33.869
do mine here. Oh yeah, that's true. Alright then.

00:55:34.630 --> 00:55:36.769
Didn't even think about that. I was like, can't

00:55:36.769 --> 00:55:38.269
do tight in the box when we both can't play at

00:55:38.269 --> 00:55:39.289
the same time. We'll do one here and we'll do

00:55:39.289 --> 00:55:41.570
one later. Yeah. Oh my God. Yeah, of course.

00:55:42.329 --> 00:55:46.780
Fucking fuck my brain. You won't turn out. Okay.

00:55:47.789 --> 00:55:53.219
Okie doke. Eyes closed, hands are out. Sorry.

00:55:55.190 --> 00:55:58.730
Are you manoeuvring yourself? There we go. If

00:55:58.730 --> 00:56:01.090
you just reach out, it's in front of you. If

00:56:01.090 --> 00:56:04.500
you put your hands down. That's a bag. Oh, well

00:56:04.500 --> 00:56:07.380
then you've guessed it. That is my tat item.

00:56:08.900 --> 00:56:12.139
hands cheating not really this is an incredibly

00:56:12.139 --> 00:56:15.039
valuable tat i think i got this and i think ymca

00:56:15.039 --> 00:56:17.039
infinitely all right i think it's about either

00:56:17.039 --> 00:56:20.780
six or eight pounds and i've used this everywhere

00:56:20.780 --> 00:56:23.699
we've gone pretty much the duration of the show

00:56:23.699 --> 00:56:26.559
and the duration of our relationship yeah i suspect

00:56:26.559 --> 00:56:28.699
i think this predates the show a little bit i

00:56:28.699 --> 00:56:31.159
think definitely but uh yeah this has been with

00:56:31.159 --> 00:56:33.949
me everywhere carrying all our tats when we've

00:56:33.949 --> 00:56:36.769
gone to see cheap show live digitizer live uh

00:56:36.769 --> 00:56:39.349
gone away for weekends and stuff gone away for

00:56:39.349 --> 00:56:42.409
woodland walks those bags carried all our shit

00:56:42.409 --> 00:56:45.030
and contains surprisingly large amount of stuff

00:56:45.030 --> 00:56:49.250
it does have an impressive capacity um i'm so

00:56:49.250 --> 00:56:51.449
sorry i guessed that so quickly that's all right

00:56:51.449 --> 00:56:54.409
you know yeah fair play all right that's one

00:56:54.409 --> 00:56:57.130
of my best value for money items i've ever got

00:56:57.130 --> 00:57:00.059
from a charity shop So I generally try and look

00:57:00.059 --> 00:57:02.920
for utility in things I buy, and yeah, that's

00:57:02.920 --> 00:57:05.880
paid for itself. Oh, fair play. Since been decorated

00:57:05.880 --> 00:57:13.260
with Ganon's Ghost Squad. Spirit Squad? No, Ghost

00:57:13.260 --> 00:57:17.949
Squad. Oh, my word. I'm so sorry. A Ghostbusters

00:57:17.949 --> 00:57:20.170
badge and a Wales badge. And a Wales badge. That

00:57:20.170 --> 00:57:22.789
was from that shop that was quite expensive,

00:57:22.809 --> 00:57:25.210
as it turns out. That was from, I think, YMCA.

00:57:25.610 --> 00:57:28.530
Oh, bottle opener zip. Because one of the zips

00:57:28.530 --> 00:57:32.130
has broken off this side. Oh, clever. So I used

00:57:32.130 --> 00:57:35.769
that as a key ring and also bottle opener on

00:57:35.769 --> 00:57:38.590
there. And on this side, carabiner, which holds

00:57:38.590 --> 00:57:41.909
a lighter. Excellent. To be fair, that is probably

00:57:41.909 --> 00:57:44.969
one of, if not the best tat item that you've

00:57:44.969 --> 00:57:49.449
brought. to the show yeah um not because it's

00:57:49.449 --> 00:57:53.690
like particularly special or rare or an antique

00:57:53.690 --> 00:57:56.889
or a collectible of any kind but because it is

00:57:56.889 --> 00:58:00.329
an absolute workhorse yeah and has paid for itself

00:58:00.329 --> 00:58:02.210
a thousand times over i mean i don't know how

00:58:02.210 --> 00:58:04.949
much a brand new airwalk backpack would be these

00:58:04.949 --> 00:58:08.710
days probably not very much 20 quid 25 quid i

00:58:08.710 --> 00:58:11.070
think 25 might be pushing it it's airwalk it's

00:58:11.070 --> 00:58:13.010
not the brand it used to be in the 80s i suppose

00:58:13.010 --> 00:58:17.579
but still Excellent value. Proper workhorse.

00:58:17.860 --> 00:58:22.280
You really threw me with that. Well done. You

00:58:22.280 --> 00:58:25.039
win. You guessed it correctly. You win as well.

00:58:26.340 --> 00:58:30.039
Everyone's a winner. Bingo wings shaking area.

00:58:31.539 --> 00:58:38.320
Swings. We can cut that bit out. Oh, dear. Brilliant.

00:58:39.639 --> 00:58:46.460
Good talent, darling. Thank you. Really threw

00:58:46.460 --> 00:58:50.389
me without. It was good. Well done. Do you like

00:58:50.389 --> 00:58:57.590
that one? Oh, he's back. Hey. Is he on our time?

00:58:57.650 --> 00:59:00.250
Whoa. No, no. Times don't matter at all. Well,

00:59:00.309 --> 00:59:03.860
what time zone is he in? Maybe that's why he's

00:59:03.860 --> 00:59:06.550
not answering if he's asleep wherever he is.

00:59:06.550 --> 00:59:13.130
So 7 .43 on him and 2 .48 now, which is the right

00:59:13.130 --> 00:59:16.030
time. So he's seven hours... No. 12 hours behind?

00:59:16.440 --> 00:59:19.239
No. Oh, my God. Is it just how long he's been

00:59:19.239 --> 00:59:23.900
active for? I can't do math, apparently, anymore.

00:59:24.750 --> 00:59:26.309
That's what I get for stopping playing darts.

00:59:27.570 --> 00:59:29.170
I don't know if I can go through the options.

00:59:29.269 --> 00:59:31.070
He said not to fiddle with the settings. Yeah,

00:59:31.110 --> 00:59:32.829
don't play around with it too much. If it's switched

00:59:32.829 --> 00:59:39.309
on... He keeps going. If he's on... Hello? Don't

00:59:39.309 --> 00:59:42.260
hit it too hard. You might, like, break something

00:59:42.260 --> 00:59:47.480
on the inside. Do you want to take him? He keeps

00:59:47.480 --> 00:59:48.800
clacking against my actual watch. Yeah, I'll

00:59:48.800 --> 00:59:51.719
borrow him for a bit. I don't mind. Oh, Christ.

00:59:52.000 --> 00:59:55.250
Sorry, value a bit... Why are these sensors on

00:59:55.250 --> 00:59:58.429
the... Are you taking your blood pressure? I

00:59:58.429 --> 01:00:01.110
don't know. Good job it wasn't my wrist walking

01:00:01.110 --> 01:00:04.030
up the hill. It'd be like ringing an ambulance

01:00:04.030 --> 01:00:12.369
for me. Right, okay. Right, he is switched on.

01:00:13.179 --> 01:00:15.199
Do you want a hand, Penelope? It's a really awkward,

01:00:15.340 --> 01:00:23.900
shitty strap. We will see. I'm not generally

01:00:23.900 --> 01:00:32.750
a watch wearer. So, there we are. He's on. You're

01:00:32.750 --> 01:00:36.659
on. You're on. There we go. Taking it in turns.

01:00:36.860 --> 01:00:39.539
We are. I don't want to put you there. That's

01:00:39.539 --> 01:00:41.019
right close to my boobs. I don't want to give

01:00:41.019 --> 01:00:47.170
you a fright, mate. Sorry. You'll be getting

01:00:47.170 --> 01:00:51.869
a call from HR next. I am HR. No, I'm not Val's

01:00:51.869 --> 01:00:56.000
HR. How does that work? I don't know. I don't

01:00:56.000 --> 01:00:59.000
know who Val's HR is. You've investigated yourself

01:00:59.000 --> 01:01:01.679
and cleared yourself of any wrongdoing. Isn't

01:01:01.679 --> 01:01:03.840
that what everybody does? But you're in a position

01:01:03.840 --> 01:01:06.679
to do it. I've independently and internally investigated

01:01:06.679 --> 01:01:10.800
myself many times and I find myself not guilty.

01:01:13.599 --> 01:01:16.139
I don't know how the internal investigation went

01:01:16.139 --> 01:01:21.329
to find that. A lot of therapy. I thought you

01:01:21.329 --> 01:01:22.769
were going to say a lot of probing. Thorough.

01:01:23.530 --> 01:01:28.170
Thorough probing. Stop till I get to the bottom

01:01:28.170 --> 01:01:33.940
of this. I'll leave that one. Shall we pay her

01:01:33.940 --> 01:01:39.920
off? Yes, let's. They were all right snacks,

01:01:40.059 --> 01:01:42.280
to be fair. Yeah. Really pleasantly surprised.

01:01:44.989 --> 01:01:47.090
Yeah, good point that we should have kept some

01:01:47.090 --> 01:01:51.190
of the sweets unopened for later. Never mind.

01:01:52.239 --> 01:01:54.599
They're in a safe spot in your bag. We can always

01:01:54.599 --> 01:02:02.579
go back to them. Right, I'm going to go back

01:02:02.579 --> 01:02:08.280
on camera for a bit. Yeah, go on. Actually, do

01:02:08.280 --> 01:02:09.880
that clap again because I hadn't pressed record.

01:02:10.000 --> 01:02:12.019
Oh, OK. Don't want to clap too loud. Don't want

01:02:12.019 --> 01:02:16.730
to put the guy off. He had earplugs in. Earbuds,

01:02:16.730 --> 01:02:19.369
whatever they're called. Fair play to that fella

01:02:19.369 --> 01:02:22.250
for jogging in this heat. I know, but yeah. And

01:02:22.250 --> 01:02:26.409
on these terrains. He said something a bit snarky

01:02:26.409 --> 01:02:28.150
to him, like a little bit fucking what for that.

01:02:28.829 --> 01:02:31.690
He knows his business. Yeah, he's way fitter

01:02:31.690 --> 01:02:34.769
than I am, so who am I to say? I guess that's

01:02:34.769 --> 01:02:36.389
the point of doing it. He looks like he's deliberately

01:02:36.389 --> 01:02:39.409
pushing himself. Yeah. Might be training for

01:02:39.409 --> 01:02:42.440
a long run. You might just really enjoy running.

01:02:43.079 --> 01:02:44.960
I mean, it is supposed to be really very good

01:02:44.960 --> 01:02:48.510
for your mental health. One of my friends, Anne,

01:02:48.670 --> 01:02:54.360
she does a lot of running. And, yeah, she's like,

01:02:54.440 --> 01:02:59.409
if she can't run, drives her insane. And she's

01:02:59.409 --> 01:03:00.949
done a couple of marathons as well, which is

01:03:00.949 --> 01:03:06.730
really very impressive. My cousin, Amanda, is

01:03:06.730 --> 01:03:08.510
doing the London Marathon again this year, I

01:03:08.510 --> 01:03:11.809
think. Oh, good luck to her. I think she was...

01:03:12.349 --> 01:03:15.110
She was the one millionth runner to ever cross

01:03:15.110 --> 01:03:18.869
the line of the London Marathon. What year was

01:03:18.869 --> 01:03:22.150
that? Oh, it's got to be 10 years ago now, surely.

01:03:23.269 --> 01:03:26.050
So she got a free entry to the following year

01:03:26.050 --> 01:03:29.610
as like an all well done. Yeah. You were the

01:03:29.610 --> 01:03:33.570
lucky one. After trying for years and years with

01:03:33.570 --> 01:03:37.230
the ballot to get a place. She then ended up

01:03:37.230 --> 01:03:39.570
doing... Two in a row. I think she did three

01:03:39.570 --> 01:03:42.929
in a row. um and then took a couple of years

01:03:42.929 --> 01:03:46.610
off and then in the last sort of like 12 months

01:03:46.610 --> 01:03:48.570
i think she's done like three marathons or something

01:03:48.570 --> 01:03:51.429
like that some of these facts might not actually

01:03:51.429 --> 01:03:56.369
be facts um but amanda is impressive she's uh

01:03:56.369 --> 01:03:59.369
been used by the london marathon for advertising

01:03:59.369 --> 01:04:05.820
and stuff and yeah she's a hella fit girl that

01:04:05.820 --> 01:04:16.269
one ex who did it one year didn't finish uh she

01:04:16.269 --> 01:04:19.059
didn't train property in all fairness to her

01:04:19.059 --> 01:04:23.500
way more than I could ever have done but yeah

01:04:23.730 --> 01:04:27.250
one time I saw Jimmy Savile was doing the route

01:04:27.250 --> 01:04:32.389
on the back of a transit tipper truck I think

01:04:32.579 --> 01:04:36.599
it was by Cutty Sark and he went through he cut

01:04:36.599 --> 01:04:39.099
through the Cutty Sark? I know they go round

01:04:39.099 --> 01:04:43.960
London round by the Cutty Sark sorry sorry I

01:04:45.139 --> 01:04:51.000
misunderstood as well I did write to Jimmy Savile

01:04:51.000 --> 01:04:55.949
asking him to fix it for me. I wanted to be...

01:04:55.949 --> 01:05:03.320
What was James Herriot's programme? All Creatures

01:05:03.320 --> 01:05:05.239
Great and Small. Yeah, I wanted to be on All

01:05:05.239 --> 01:05:07.800
Creatures Great and Small. But some other kid

01:05:07.800 --> 01:05:11.269
got to do it instead. Did they stick their hand

01:05:11.269 --> 01:05:14.389
up an animal? I can't remember. I just remember

01:05:14.389 --> 01:05:16.429
being annoyed it wasn't me. But now I'm kind

01:05:16.429 --> 01:05:22.349
of glad in retrospect. Dodged a bullet. Dodged

01:05:22.349 --> 01:05:25.630
a bullet. Maybe three wasn't coming around to

01:05:25.630 --> 01:05:42.010
ask for your recollections. Single file only.

01:05:43.650 --> 01:05:52.690
Huh? Single file. There's such a difference between

01:05:52.690 --> 01:05:55.469
direct sunlight and the shade. Oh, yeah. Really

01:05:55.469 --> 01:06:00.610
stark contrast. All the wrong side of the path

01:06:00.610 --> 01:06:04.570
for it. Look, it's like being in a labyrinth.

01:06:04.570 --> 01:06:08.079
You look one way, and you look the other way.

01:06:08.179 --> 01:06:11.420
And they're, like, identical. We need that blue

01:06:11.420 --> 01:06:14.940
worm to tell us where the shortcut is. Help me

01:06:14.940 --> 01:06:21.329
to meet the missus. Oh, that's a generational

01:06:21.329 --> 01:06:25.269
comment, isn't it? Showing my age. Leave a comment

01:06:25.269 --> 01:06:35.059
below if you know who Jareth is. And double thumbs

01:06:35.059 --> 01:06:43.070
up if you liked his codpiece. Why was it called

01:06:43.070 --> 01:06:46.360
a codpiece and not a cockpiece? That would just

01:06:46.360 --> 01:06:51.170
be rude. I don't know. It'll go back to Tudor

01:06:51.170 --> 01:06:53.469
sort of times. Yeah, I know, but they were invented

01:06:53.469 --> 01:06:56.079
when... You know, words like cock were used for

01:06:56.079 --> 01:07:00.480
other things. There would have been probably

01:07:00.480 --> 01:07:04.579
only fancy people that could afford them. Did

01:07:04.579 --> 01:07:09.280
I say grew up then? Did they grow up in a time

01:07:09.280 --> 01:07:14.070
when the word cock was used for other things?

01:07:14.369 --> 01:07:17.969
Did I say grow up? I meant invented. That's how

01:07:17.969 --> 01:07:23.079
I talk it to you. I meant invented. In case nobody

01:07:23.079 --> 01:07:25.260
noticed, I'm trying terribly hard not to put

01:07:25.260 --> 01:07:30.420
myself on camera too much. God, I hope Val's

01:07:30.420 --> 01:07:33.860
enjoying this. I've looked at my wrist. I forgot

01:07:33.860 --> 01:07:37.469
he's on yours now. I am. Sweaty, are you soaking

01:07:37.469 --> 01:07:39.469
up my sweat, Val? I hope it's telling you something

01:07:39.469 --> 01:07:45.960
interesting. Just so you know, I will find a

01:07:45.960 --> 01:07:49.199
waiver somewhere. If you decide to clone me,

01:07:49.300 --> 01:07:53.360
I'll do something about it. A crimson urchin

01:07:53.360 --> 01:07:56.280
pays for your voice at least. Yeah. Buy me some

01:07:56.280 --> 01:07:58.980
money for you. Although, to be fair, you say

01:07:58.980 --> 01:08:01.889
they pay me, but... I haven't actually had anything

01:08:01.889 --> 01:08:05.309
off them. What? I think I've done three ads now,

01:08:05.409 --> 01:08:10.349
maybe four. Get the money up front. Yeah, I need

01:08:10.349 --> 01:08:12.980
to read the small print a bit better. I'll probably

01:08:12.980 --> 01:08:14.920
have to do a certain amount and it gets a certain

01:08:14.920 --> 01:08:16.979
amount of listens and I'll get a percentage or

01:08:16.979 --> 01:08:20.899
whatever. No, no, fuck you, pay me. As you work,

01:08:21.079 --> 01:08:23.380
you get paid for that work. You can give them

01:08:23.380 --> 01:08:25.920
freebies. I'll bring it up with them next time

01:08:25.920 --> 01:08:28.600
they send me a script. I'll bring it up before

01:08:28.600 --> 01:08:34.090
that. Oh, he's just levelling out here. Oh, look,

01:08:34.489 --> 01:08:36.649
there's a little birdie in there. Little birdie

01:08:36.649 --> 01:08:41.060
in a path. Little birdie in a path. That's either

01:08:41.060 --> 01:08:45.630
a sparrow or a dunnock, I think. Could be a dunnock,

01:08:45.729 --> 01:08:47.149
because it's slightly bigger than a sparrow.

01:08:47.770 --> 01:08:50.850
A little bit of grit for its tummy. Yeah, a little

01:08:50.850 --> 01:09:02.989
dust shower. Don't fall down the hole. Oh, motherfucker!

01:09:03.689 --> 01:09:06.460
Every time. Hopefully I've got that. He's over

01:09:06.460 --> 01:09:12.760
there. He's having a nice day. Oh, God, my tits

01:09:12.760 --> 01:09:17.029
are so sweaty. This is... Unpleasant. Mine aren't,

01:09:17.029 --> 01:09:19.949
it's more my back. Well, yours aren't pressed

01:09:19.949 --> 01:09:25.680
together like, like in, I don't know, two hard

01:09:25.680 --> 01:09:30.000
boiled eggs out of their shells. But it's still

01:09:30.000 --> 01:09:33.380
slimy. No one's bothered putting silk around

01:09:33.380 --> 01:09:35.939
them to stop them from sweating. To be fair,

01:09:35.960 --> 01:09:37.100
I am wearing a bra, that's why they're pushed

01:09:37.100 --> 01:09:40.159
together. I'm actually wearing two, just to be

01:09:40.159 --> 01:09:48.920
safe. To keep them safe from us or us safe from

01:09:48.920 --> 01:09:56.350
them? Both. Fred and Bob will not be tamed. Yes,

01:09:56.529 --> 01:09:59.649
some people name their cars. I named my tits

01:09:59.649 --> 01:10:02.970
when I was 18. I thought it was funny then. It

01:10:02.970 --> 01:10:06.350
still makes me chuckle now. Fuck you if you don't

01:10:06.350 --> 01:10:10.630
think it's funny. I was just going to ask why

01:10:10.630 --> 01:10:13.689
the blokes names as opposed to the girls. I don't

01:10:13.689 --> 01:10:18.699
know. Because I always sort of saw them as the

01:10:18.699 --> 01:10:23.279
boys. I'll get it. Not really my girls. Fair

01:10:23.279 --> 01:10:27.939
enough. My girl, she's a bit further south. But

01:10:27.939 --> 01:10:35.550
the boys are up front. Got many free pints. Won

01:10:35.550 --> 01:10:42.859
far too many pool games. So are you actually

01:10:42.859 --> 01:10:45.560
good at pool as well? I was actually. I played

01:10:45.560 --> 01:10:48.479
county. I could have played for Wales. But I

01:10:48.479 --> 01:10:51.220
just couldn't be arsed. That and the finances.

01:10:53.020 --> 01:10:55.239
Even now there isn't the sponsorship for women's

01:10:55.239 --> 01:10:58.779
sports that there was for men's back 20 years

01:10:58.779 --> 01:11:02.500
ago. Oh, it didn't get you that far then. No,

01:11:02.539 --> 01:11:04.619
I couldn't afford the credit card fees because

01:11:04.619 --> 01:11:06.800
you had to pay for everywhere you would go in.

01:11:07.840 --> 01:11:10.340
You'd be away for five days on a caravan park.

01:11:10.420 --> 01:11:15.119
That would be like a few hundred quid each. Paying

01:11:15.119 --> 01:11:18.340
for your food, your drinks, the expectation of

01:11:18.340 --> 01:11:22.260
socialising and then no money back in return.

01:11:23.270 --> 01:11:25.069
And all you get at the end of it is a handshake.

01:11:26.250 --> 01:11:31.130
It feels a bit cheap and expensive all at the

01:11:31.130 --> 01:11:34.539
same time. Yeah, at least playing for money.

01:11:36.609 --> 01:11:38.590
Yeah, I don't even remember there being prize

01:11:38.590 --> 01:11:40.989
money for the women. I think it was just trophies.

01:11:41.630 --> 01:11:45.619
The guys would have a bit of money because they'd

01:11:45.619 --> 01:11:48.789
have more sponsorship. And, you know, some of

01:11:48.789 --> 01:11:53.810
the professional snooker players also play professional

01:11:53.810 --> 01:11:58.180
nine ball pool. So they'd bring the sponsorship

01:11:58.180 --> 01:12:01.470
with them. But there wasn't ever that exposure

01:12:01.470 --> 01:12:09.029
in snooker and pool for women. But I did play

01:12:09.029 --> 01:12:13.899
county pool. This is a pop fact from the 90s.

01:12:14.720 --> 01:12:18.689
I did play county pool with a lady called Sian

01:12:18.689 --> 01:12:22.699
Newbury. And she was a semi -professional snooker

01:12:22.699 --> 01:12:26.380
player in the 80s and 90s. Semi -professional,

01:12:26.439 --> 01:12:31.859
comes up a lot in my show. Sorry, she faced me

01:12:31.859 --> 01:12:33.880
a little bit, really. Would that have been a

01:12:33.880 --> 01:12:35.600
shortcut if we carried on the path we were on?

01:12:35.680 --> 01:12:37.810
I don't know. We'll have to try that one day.

01:12:38.829 --> 01:12:43.079
The most exposure she ever got playing her sport

01:12:43.079 --> 01:12:49.119
was when she was on Big Break. And I can't remember

01:12:49.119 --> 01:12:50.760
how well she did, but I remember seeing the episode

01:12:50.760 --> 01:12:52.319
because I watched every episode of Big Break

01:12:52.319 --> 01:12:55.140
when it was on when I was a kid. And I remember

01:12:55.140 --> 01:12:59.449
the only episode with a woman in it. Sian's a

01:12:59.449 --> 01:13:02.850
forefoot and a fart. Professional snooker player.

01:13:02.970 --> 01:13:04.449
I don't even know how she saw over the table

01:13:04.449 --> 01:13:08.489
half the time. But, yeah. So, I played with some

01:13:08.489 --> 01:13:11.670
famous people. I played darts with some famous

01:13:11.670 --> 01:13:16.960
people. I could have, you know, could have gone

01:13:16.960 --> 01:13:20.220
down the semi -professional route of women's

01:13:20.220 --> 01:13:28.279
dart player. But, like County Pool, Super League

01:13:28.279 --> 01:13:31.500
Darts, there's a lot of politics. There's a lot

01:13:31.500 --> 01:13:34.300
of people. All of whom have got different opinions

01:13:34.300 --> 01:13:35.880
and all of whom think they're right and you're

01:13:35.880 --> 01:13:38.840
wrong. It just wasn't a very pleasant atmosphere.

01:13:40.199 --> 01:13:43.840
So again, I took a step back from my potential

01:13:43.840 --> 01:13:48.340
lakeside debut. Because I couldn't be arsed with

01:13:48.340 --> 01:13:53.100
the bitches. To be fair, my life was probably

01:13:53.100 --> 01:13:56.380
better for it. I think Rhian... I can't remember

01:13:56.380 --> 01:14:00.710
her last name now. I played with her. Super League.

01:14:00.770 --> 01:14:02.710
I'm pretty sure she's gone back to professional

01:14:02.710 --> 01:14:07.050
darts now in the BDO rather than the PDC. Two

01:14:07.050 --> 01:14:08.350
different leagues. If you know, you know. If

01:14:08.350 --> 01:14:13.069
you don't, I don't care. So I think she's back

01:14:13.069 --> 01:14:14.750
playing stage darts now, which is really good

01:14:14.750 --> 01:14:18.350
because she was poorly for a long time. But yeah.

01:14:19.510 --> 01:14:21.390
How did I even get onto this subject? I can't

01:14:21.390 --> 01:14:27.069
even remember. I can't remember. How's the walk

01:14:27.069 --> 01:14:30.500
going for you, dear? Plenty. Do you need a sip?

01:14:30.680 --> 01:14:32.779
No, I said how's the walk going for you dear?

01:14:33.020 --> 01:14:37.279
I said how's the water? Yeah? It's really bloody

01:14:37.279 --> 01:14:41.619
hot. My back is so sweaty. If I didn't have this

01:14:41.619 --> 01:14:44.520
bag on it would be quite pleasant. Yeah. I'm

01:14:44.520 --> 01:14:46.420
glad I put my hat on. I know I look stupid in

01:14:46.420 --> 01:14:49.550
it but I'd rather look stupid than get sunstroke.

01:14:51.250 --> 01:14:53.659
I should probably hold this feather over my face

01:14:53.659 --> 01:14:54.899
because you're probably just looking at me like

01:14:54.899 --> 01:15:00.649
this. I do wish I'd put sunblock on though. I'm

01:15:00.649 --> 01:15:02.289
trying to stick to the shade as much as possible,

01:15:02.369 --> 01:15:08.090
but silly me. Oh, Adam spotted a butterfly. It's

01:15:08.090 --> 01:15:17.409
gone further away. It flew away. How are we doing,

01:15:17.430 --> 01:15:21.399
Val? Looking at my wrist all the time now. He's

01:15:21.399 --> 01:15:24.430
not talking to me either. I'm just going to assume

01:15:24.430 --> 01:15:27.960
this is like a passive thing for him. He's just

01:15:27.960 --> 01:15:31.000
being taken on a tour. Just checking that we're

01:15:31.000 --> 01:15:32.840
doing what he's asking of us. Yeah, he's like

01:15:32.840 --> 01:15:34.779
watching a four -hour YouTube video or something.

01:15:37.210 --> 01:15:39.010
So we're the ones doing the work and he'll tell

01:15:39.010 --> 01:15:41.890
us if we've succeeded or failed afterwards. Is

01:15:41.890 --> 01:15:44.250
he completely just in the watch or can he be

01:15:44.250 --> 01:15:46.510
in two places at once? How does he work? I don't

01:15:46.510 --> 01:15:49.909
know how the multisphere works, dear. I don't

01:15:49.909 --> 01:15:55.770
know where the essence of AI exists. I was wondering

01:15:55.770 --> 01:15:58.829
if he's here, who's doing stuff at Channel 84?

01:15:59.210 --> 01:16:02.710
Is anybody doing stuff at Channel 84 today? Mind

01:16:02.710 --> 01:16:05.069
you, we don't know how long he's been sat in

01:16:05.069 --> 01:16:06.189
your house because we've been in fucking space.

01:16:07.010 --> 01:16:10.310
This is true. And he doesn't tell us the time

01:16:10.310 --> 01:16:14.180
or anything so we've got no idea. We know how

01:16:14.180 --> 01:16:15.779
long we've been away for because we can look

01:16:15.779 --> 01:16:18.140
at a clock and a calendar. But we don't know

01:16:18.140 --> 01:16:22.100
when Val arrived in your studio room. He could

01:16:22.100 --> 01:16:24.739
have been there the second we left. What was

01:16:24.739 --> 01:16:28.659
that, like six months ago? How did he get in

01:16:28.659 --> 01:16:33.130
my house? I don't know. How did he get stuff

01:16:33.130 --> 01:16:36.529
out of my cupboards, like those mess tins? Maybe

01:16:36.529 --> 01:16:38.529
he can do like that thing that the mummy can

01:16:38.529 --> 01:16:41.729
do. He turns himself into sand, pours through

01:16:41.729 --> 01:16:44.810
the keyhole, but he does it in pixels. The last

01:16:44.810 --> 01:16:46.850
time I asked about if he's got hands and stuff,

01:16:46.989 --> 01:16:49.529
I got in trouble. Yeah, I know, but I'm not accusing

01:16:49.529 --> 01:16:53.829
him of having a humanistic corporeal form. I'm

01:16:53.829 --> 01:16:56.029
suggesting that he might be able to pour through

01:16:56.029 --> 01:16:58.970
your keyhole as pixels. Then that'll be corporeal.

01:16:59.149 --> 01:17:01.750
There's something of him to come somewhere. Yes,

01:17:01.750 --> 01:17:04.430
but he's not necessarily human. It could be a

01:17:04.430 --> 01:17:06.170
beaver. Yeah, I didn't say he had human hands.

01:17:06.930 --> 01:17:10.850
It could be robot hands or ghostly electric hands.

01:17:11.590 --> 01:17:13.890
Maybe he's that capybara that escaped the zoo.

01:17:15.850 --> 01:17:20.800
He's got excellent diction. They had that capybara

01:17:20.800 --> 01:17:24.579
like a day. It arrived and escaped on the same

01:17:24.579 --> 01:17:26.720
day. Was it the same day? I couldn't remember

01:17:26.720 --> 01:17:29.479
if it was shortly. And they didn't have him long.

01:17:29.659 --> 01:17:32.359
Yeah. I was reading about it the other day. One

01:17:32.359 --> 01:17:34.600
of the headlines came up on Google News or whatever.

01:17:35.500 --> 01:17:37.140
And I was like, oh, let's check up on the capybara.

01:17:37.819 --> 01:17:40.930
Still loose, no evidence of it being dead. People

01:17:40.930 --> 01:17:43.390
are still on the lookout. I think the same thing

01:17:43.390 --> 01:17:45.689
happened to that zoo 12 years ago with the capybara

01:17:45.689 --> 01:17:48.729
as well. Yes. But they caught it fairly shortly

01:17:48.729 --> 01:17:50.310
after. It was only a couple of days, I think,

01:17:50.310 --> 01:17:53.529
it went missing. That's the one. They had like

01:17:53.529 --> 01:17:56.090
three capybaras in the space of... Well, they

01:17:56.090 --> 01:18:00.250
had two capybaras in the space of a week. Both

01:18:00.250 --> 01:18:03.090
of whom escaped, I think. And then I think they've

01:18:03.090 --> 01:18:05.670
still got hold of the third one. And they might

01:18:05.670 --> 01:18:07.350
have got the first one back, but the second one's

01:18:07.350 --> 01:18:09.949
on the loose still. The most recent escapee.

01:18:11.130 --> 01:18:14.489
But yeah, they took delivery and let it escape

01:18:14.489 --> 01:18:18.270
on the same day. I can't remember what it's called.

01:18:18.329 --> 01:18:21.510
Is it Tango? Or was that his partner? Oh, no

01:18:21.510 --> 01:18:29.329
idea. No idea. Oh my God. I've got to be honest.

01:18:30.090 --> 01:18:32.250
This walk got further. Did we turn around and

01:18:32.250 --> 01:18:35.149
go back the other way last time? I don't know

01:18:35.149 --> 01:18:37.029
how much more distance I've actually got in me,

01:18:37.090 --> 01:18:41.420
to be quite honest. As much as I would love to

01:18:41.710 --> 01:18:45.529
walk miles and miles. I honestly thought we were

01:18:45.529 --> 01:18:47.729
going to be looping back. I don't actually know.

01:18:48.590 --> 01:18:50.850
Let's have a look on the maps. Let's get in the

01:18:50.850 --> 01:18:54.489
shade first. I think we got to this point roughly

01:18:54.489 --> 01:18:57.409
last time. Maybe a bit further up around the

01:18:57.409 --> 01:18:59.270
corner and we were like, is this a linear path

01:18:59.270 --> 01:19:01.050
or a circular path? And then we turned around.

01:19:03.729 --> 01:19:06.369
Right, there we go. Now we're showing mapping

01:19:06.369 --> 01:19:09.289
quality. I'm trying to guess through pixels.

01:19:11.789 --> 01:19:17.260
Going to be where we started. Right. No, it doesn't

01:19:17.260 --> 01:19:19.420
look like it loops back. We're going to have

01:19:19.420 --> 01:19:22.340
to go back to where we came. I'm pretty sure

01:19:22.340 --> 01:19:24.260
that's the conclusion we reached last time we

01:19:24.260 --> 01:19:28.569
were up here. Owners of such good memory that

01:19:28.569 --> 01:19:30.850
we are. We've been a couple of woodland paths

01:19:30.850 --> 01:19:34.310
and after a while it's a woodland path. They're

01:19:34.310 --> 01:19:37.390
all the same and all different at the same time.

01:19:41.770 --> 01:19:44.090
We've still got some energy. We'll walk however

01:19:44.090 --> 01:19:47.890
far back we've come. Yeah. It'd be nice if Val

01:19:47.890 --> 01:19:49.829
kept track of that for us as well. I know. I

01:19:49.829 --> 01:19:52.270
wonder if he's counting steps. He could tell

01:19:52.270 --> 01:19:55.710
us how far we've walked. I don't think I've got

01:19:55.710 --> 01:19:58.579
that set up on my phone. I used to have it set

01:19:58.579 --> 01:20:02.069
up again back in the day when I was into powerlifting.

01:20:04.180 --> 01:20:07.680
God, I can't imagine me in the gym now on the

01:20:07.680 --> 01:20:18.039
leg press with over 300 kilos. I'd die. My warm

01:20:18.289 --> 01:20:23.380
-up on a leg press used to be like 180 kilos.

01:20:24.779 --> 01:20:29.829
And then I'd go 240, 260, 280, drop it down low

01:20:29.829 --> 01:20:33.529
again, and then slap on 300. Well, that says

01:20:33.529 --> 01:20:36.510
we've done 77 steps. 77? Oh, that was Saturday.

01:20:37.239 --> 01:20:39.760
All right, let's have a look. How do I activate

01:20:39.760 --> 01:20:51.180
that? Today. No data. No, I don't know how to

01:20:51.180 --> 01:20:57.229
activate the step counter. I don't know if I

01:20:57.229 --> 01:21:00.479
need to add apps specifically for it. God knows.

01:21:01.109 --> 01:21:02.710
I thought that'd be built into the health app.

01:21:02.850 --> 01:21:08.729
Never mind. I think the last Samsung phone I

01:21:08.729 --> 01:21:13.020
had tracked everywhere you went. Which was handy

01:21:13.020 --> 01:21:14.520
if you were going out for a walk and you wanted

01:21:14.520 --> 01:21:19.039
to know that you'd done your six kilometres or

01:21:19.039 --> 01:21:23.949
whatever. But it makes you a bit paranoid as

01:21:23.949 --> 01:21:27.229
well. Because you don't want people to see where

01:21:27.229 --> 01:21:29.210
you're coming from and going to the most, which

01:21:29.210 --> 01:21:31.529
is obviously your home. So you're doxing yourself

01:21:31.529 --> 01:21:34.750
just by having the app. passively active in the

01:21:34.750 --> 01:21:37.050
phone yes depending where you're working as well

01:21:37.050 --> 01:21:41.170
some places might be sensitive yeah don't hang

01:21:41.170 --> 01:21:43.310
on you're giving away a map of these corridors

01:21:43.310 --> 01:21:46.710
oh i hadn't even thought about that i think some

01:21:46.710 --> 01:21:49.840
people in the navy got uh got in trouble for

01:21:49.840 --> 01:21:52.479
sharing yeah jogging apps whilst they're on like

01:21:52.479 --> 01:21:55.260
naval carriers at sea oops you go well we can

01:21:55.260 --> 01:21:57.699
see you're doing laps around the deck you're

01:21:57.699 --> 01:21:59.479
in the middle of the ocean yeah we know what

01:21:59.479 --> 01:22:02.369
you're on Just need to look up what ship you're

01:22:02.369 --> 01:22:04.789
on. Oh, there we go. Now we know the positions

01:22:04.789 --> 01:22:09.220
of... Yeah. Yeah, not clever. And Furby's, I

01:22:09.220 --> 01:22:11.699
think, got stopped from being taken into some

01:22:11.699 --> 01:22:13.579
government buildings in America because they're

01:22:13.579 --> 01:22:15.880
recording everything and playing it back. Oh,

01:22:15.880 --> 01:22:28.239
my God. Yeah, Furby's a security risk. This poor

01:22:28.239 --> 01:22:33.609
oak tree is all floppy. He's got a bit wham.

01:22:34.550 --> 01:22:42.119
Got to fly. Got to fly. yeah okay we're gonna

01:22:42.119 --> 01:22:44.279
be covered in more horsefly bites when i get

01:22:44.279 --> 01:22:48.079
home oh i hope not but there are there have been

01:22:48.079 --> 01:22:59.100
a few out here i've seen right so next stop we'll

01:22:59.100 --> 01:23:02.279
get back to the tatmobile get the picnic table

01:23:02.279 --> 01:23:05.340
yeah if somebody hasn't bagged it already i mean

01:23:05.340 --> 01:23:07.260
there are a couple more in the area we just need

01:23:07.260 --> 01:23:11.550
to walk about i don't know 10 yards board game

01:23:11.550 --> 01:23:14.149
that val's given us and we'll try some of the

01:23:14.149 --> 01:23:16.869
main deals he's given us and my tat in the box

01:23:16.869 --> 01:23:19.850
so that this still remains relatively relevant

01:23:19.850 --> 01:23:24.529
like the used episode right see you soon it's

01:23:31.829 --> 01:23:34.949
more than either of us would do on a normal day

01:23:34.949 --> 01:23:40.930
yeah you know so even a short walk is good for

01:23:40.930 --> 01:23:47.140
you apparently um i'll let you know at next episode

01:23:47.140 --> 01:23:50.989
how long it takes me to recover It's usually

01:23:50.989 --> 01:24:03.649
about three days. Do you go on car journeys?

01:24:03.949 --> 01:24:06.689
Yes. It always feels longer on the way there

01:24:06.689 --> 01:24:10.439
than the way back. Reverse now, isn't it? It's

01:24:10.439 --> 01:24:13.159
the reverse now, yeah. The way back is feeling

01:24:13.159 --> 01:24:15.640
longer than the way up there. It's more comfortable

01:24:15.640 --> 01:24:18.920
walking uphill as well. I don't know what I've

01:24:18.920 --> 01:24:24.819
done to my right knee. If it's a downhill pain,

01:24:25.220 --> 01:24:37.899
it could be ACL. I've stretched it or something.

01:24:38.399 --> 01:24:42.479
dodgy or the last couple of days or going downstairs

01:24:42.479 --> 01:24:50.869
and stuff i wonder how far that man was run yeah

01:24:50.869 --> 01:25:00.779
which route he took maybe lives nearby there's

01:25:00.779 --> 01:25:12.289
a circuit around here yeah maybe if you see him

01:25:12.289 --> 01:25:15.470
again we'll ask if there's a circular route they

01:25:30.000 --> 01:25:38.220
moved this car park okay now we're gonna have

01:25:38.220 --> 01:25:51.579
a long downhill bit to go first so glad i got

01:25:51.579 --> 01:25:53.279
a new back brace being delivered tomorrow i'm

01:25:53.279 --> 01:26:22.260
gonna need it I wish it rolled a couple of smokes

01:26:22.260 --> 01:26:28.260
back there. Do you want some drink? Yeah, is

01:26:28.260 --> 01:26:38.439
that alright? Oh my God. Have you lost your top?

01:26:38.899 --> 01:26:54.789
No, I can't. Oh, thank you for sharing. It's

01:26:54.789 --> 01:26:59.409
alright. Farley, are you going to put me in hospital,

01:26:59.529 --> 01:27:07.409
mate? Alright. Nearly back at the Tatmobile.

01:27:07.949 --> 01:27:17.409
Nearly. Want some drink? I'm not sure there's

01:27:17.409 --> 01:27:20.170
like a millimetre of me that isn't sweaty right

01:27:20.170 --> 01:27:43.140
now. Not far now. Yeah. It's like head down so

01:27:43.270 --> 01:27:46.560
I can't see the contour of the land. Holding

01:27:46.560 --> 01:27:50.789
on to my walking stick really fucking hard. And

01:27:50.789 --> 01:27:54.899
then thinking about every muscle and tendon from

01:27:54.899 --> 01:27:57.859
my hips down. Make sure I don't trip over myself.

01:27:58.439 --> 01:28:02.989
Do you want to walk on this side? It's like there's

01:28:02.989 --> 01:28:05.960
more shade on this side. It's okay. You can stop

01:28:05.960 --> 01:28:07.659
in the next pool of shade if you want for a little

01:28:07.659 --> 01:28:11.989
bit. We're nearly back at the car. We'll be there

01:28:11.989 --> 01:28:14.319
in a couple of minutes. There's loads of shade

01:28:14.319 --> 01:28:25.380
by the car. Thank you for being kind and sensible.

01:28:26.100 --> 01:28:28.520
I just feel like if I stop I might not get going

01:28:28.520 --> 01:28:37.350
again. Can you take a selfie stick or anything?

01:28:39.760 --> 01:29:14.880
Thank you. There's a bit of shade coming up.

01:29:15.159 --> 01:29:24.840
You might just have to push me to get me going.

01:29:40.149 --> 01:29:58.229
I can feel myself folding inwards. It's really

01:29:58.229 --> 01:30:02.149
weird. It's like when the drain starts coming

01:30:02.149 --> 01:30:11.439
on. I feel it in my head and my feet first. And

01:30:11.439 --> 01:30:14.750
then it sort of stays in my head, but then spreads

01:30:14.750 --> 01:30:16.470
up my legs. I'm going to take your hat off so

01:30:16.470 --> 01:30:17.869
you can have some breeze around your head for

01:30:17.869 --> 01:30:26.539
a little bit. Thank you. Yeah, so sweaty. And

01:30:26.539 --> 01:30:30.029
then once it's got to my hips, it moves to my

01:30:30.029 --> 01:30:35.899
stomach and it feels like there's a string pulling

01:30:35.899 --> 01:30:39.359
from the bottom of my diaphragm all the way down

01:30:39.359 --> 01:30:42.579
to the ground. And it's like... any energy that

01:30:42.579 --> 01:30:44.619
i've got is like attached to that string and

01:30:44.619 --> 01:30:50.130
it just pulls me down but it's not all the time

01:30:50.130 --> 01:30:57.399
so i shouldn't complain too much i think we did

01:30:57.399 --> 01:31:01.229
walk further than we did last time i don't know

01:31:01.229 --> 01:31:04.609
i think it's about the same i'm sure we got a

01:31:04.609 --> 01:31:07.850
little bit further around that corner and up

01:31:07.850 --> 01:31:10.430
that slope where we stopped and look for directions

01:31:10.430 --> 01:31:12.229
and that's when we were like oh hang on a minute

01:31:12.229 --> 01:31:17.949
because i was like right okay Didn't make it

01:31:17.949 --> 01:31:19.770
quite as far before saying hang on, wait a minute.

01:31:20.710 --> 01:31:24.989
Oh, I don't care. Just feels it then. Her legs

01:31:24.989 --> 01:31:31.829
are working. Drink? Yeah, thank you. I want you

01:31:31.829 --> 01:31:35.010
to keep all this knackered Karen in. Valentino

01:31:35.010 --> 01:31:38.920
needs to know what he's asked of us. I'm like,

01:31:39.060 --> 01:31:43.989
okay, there's a quad bike next time. Kit upgrade

01:31:43.989 --> 01:31:51.800
suggestion. Off -roader. Again. Even if it's

01:31:51.800 --> 01:31:55.689
a Jimny. I'd say Tom and Rob specifically did

01:31:55.689 --> 01:31:58.270
an At and About episode. Yeah. Why has he given

01:31:58.270 --> 01:32:00.970
us these to go and test the kit when they had

01:32:00.970 --> 01:32:03.729
this all planned? Where they had a reason to

01:32:03.729 --> 01:32:05.789
be outside instead of making us go outside in

01:32:05.789 --> 01:32:09.319
the fucking roasting sunshine. Like we said earlier,

01:32:09.479 --> 01:32:13.609
we've been away a little while in space. Gives

01:32:13.609 --> 01:32:19.699
us a chance to recuperate, you fuck. So, I mean,

01:32:19.699 --> 01:32:22.500
he could have planned to arrive the day after

01:32:22.500 --> 01:32:27.029
we recorded last. None of us knew what you were

01:32:27.029 --> 01:32:31.869
going to do to us. Yeah, but... None of us knew

01:32:31.869 --> 01:32:34.229
what I was going to do. Yeah, you know. You beamed

01:32:34.229 --> 01:32:37.010
us up. No, you pressed too many buttons. No,

01:32:37.010 --> 01:32:38.449
you got us trapped on the spaceship in the first

01:32:38.449 --> 01:32:40.850
place. You had to go with the communicator and

01:32:40.850 --> 01:32:43.750
said, beam me up. That's not... I don't... I'm

01:32:43.750 --> 01:32:46.670
not sure I recall that. I might have to go back

01:32:46.670 --> 01:32:52.289
and listen. Is there evidence? Yes. But one thing

01:32:52.289 --> 01:32:56.949
I do have evidence of. One time I was right for

01:32:56.949 --> 01:33:01.029
a change. If I didn't get this into that pickle.

01:33:01.350 --> 01:33:06.760
Either way, prop boy, you found the badge. Your

01:33:06.760 --> 01:33:11.310
fault. You should have given it all back like

01:33:11.310 --> 01:33:14.050
you were told to. I was trying to. You asked,

01:33:14.109 --> 01:33:16.449
can I have a go of it? I was going to put it

01:33:16.449 --> 01:33:18.170
in an envelope and send it back. It's only because

01:33:18.170 --> 01:33:24.720
I was too sensible to put out my own one. Spaghetti

01:33:24.720 --> 01:33:32.640
legs. Spaghetti legs. Ain't no sense coming out

01:33:32.640 --> 01:33:42.909
of my bendy pegs, spaghetti legs. Ah, is this

01:33:42.909 --> 01:33:44.390
why we didn't come this way last time? Because

01:33:44.390 --> 01:33:49.630
it was soggy here. Is there a table down there?

01:33:49.750 --> 01:33:51.710
I can't remember if it was this bit or the other

01:33:51.710 --> 01:33:56.239
bit that had the tables. I'll just go and check

01:33:56.239 --> 01:34:24.220
there is a table. Yep. Oh, fuck. Ow. I'm going

01:34:24.220 --> 01:34:27.859
to call dibs. Huh? I'm going to call dibs. Yeah.

01:34:29.810 --> 01:34:41.199
Just sub -locks in my knee. Spaghetti legs. My

01:34:46.770 --> 01:35:01.229
dodgy panics. Spaghetti legs. Oh my God. Gosh,

01:35:01.229 --> 01:35:03.310
I'm walking so much slower than I was earlier.

01:35:04.970 --> 01:35:15.029
And I've now got pins and needles from the base

01:35:15.029 --> 01:35:20.390
of my skull all the way down my right arm and

01:35:20.680 --> 01:35:29.039
partially down my left. But this is beautiful.

01:35:30.229 --> 01:35:34.500
Oh no. Isn't it? Absolutely stunning. It's better

01:35:34.500 --> 01:35:37.159
than that table to be fair. Huh? It is better

01:35:37.159 --> 01:35:39.750
than the other table to be fair. Yeah. The bench

01:35:39.750 --> 01:35:46.039
is buggered. Yeah. Oh, there's no bench at all

01:35:46.039 --> 01:35:49.819
that side. Yeah, sit on the log maybe. Yeah.

01:35:51.010 --> 01:36:00.579
I mean, there is a broken bench. Should we put

01:36:00.579 --> 01:36:07.930
the burner on top of the grill? Yeah. Just to

01:36:07.930 --> 01:36:17.789
be safe. What are you having for your dinner?

01:36:17.869 --> 01:36:21.260
Have you decided? I can't remember what I've

01:36:21.260 --> 01:36:27.859
got. You have got... beef nasi goreng with spicy

01:36:27.859 --> 01:36:31.460
fried rice and i've got chicken casserole with

01:36:31.460 --> 01:36:37.060
pasta shells they both look a reasonable size

01:36:37.060 --> 01:36:42.710
portion wise and we've also been given this is

01:36:42.710 --> 01:36:46.170
our travel game yay now the wind's picked up

01:36:46.170 --> 01:36:47.989
so we've got to set this up cheers well i know

01:36:47.989 --> 01:36:52.720
i used to love guess who was a kid brand new

01:36:52.720 --> 01:37:00.590
never been used wow we have to put all the little

01:37:00.590 --> 01:37:02.979
pieces I think they're just flip -ups, aren't

01:37:02.979 --> 01:37:06.430
they? I don't know. Oh yes, I was imagining we

01:37:06.430 --> 01:37:08.430
had to pop out all bits of cardboard on here.

01:37:08.590 --> 01:37:10.409
Oh no, I think they're just plastic. They look

01:37:10.409 --> 01:37:12.670
like they're just... Or do we have to put their

01:37:12.670 --> 01:37:16.590
faces in? Oh no, the faces are all where they're

01:37:16.590 --> 01:37:21.210
supposed to be. And that's your character slot

01:37:21.210 --> 01:37:27.250
there. Right, shall we get the water on the warm

01:37:27.250 --> 01:37:29.869
-up and then play this at the same time? Has

01:37:29.869 --> 01:37:46.569
that just gone out? No, it's still going. Do

01:37:46.569 --> 01:37:49.550
you want to put your... Oh, you go first and

01:37:49.550 --> 01:37:51.470
I'll... No, I breakfast first. Oh, all right

01:37:51.470 --> 01:37:54.649
then. Be fair. Fair's fair. Don't burn yourself

01:37:54.649 --> 01:38:02.670
with the flamages. Doesn't need to be any more

01:38:02.670 --> 01:38:04.930
submerged than that. It's about equally on the

01:38:04.930 --> 01:38:08.090
same side. Cool. Right. So you have to guess

01:38:08.090 --> 01:38:12.489
my person first, I think. Okay. Is your person

01:38:12.489 --> 01:38:26.119
sporting facial hair? No. Okay. Would you agree

01:38:26.119 --> 01:38:29.819
that David has stubble? Just because I want to

01:38:29.819 --> 01:38:31.460
rule him out from the facial hair perspective.

01:38:32.539 --> 01:38:36.060
Do you have a David? Hang on, he's here. Yeah,

01:38:36.159 --> 01:38:40.159
that counts as stubble. Okay. Let me take these

01:38:40.159 --> 01:38:43.039
glasses off to see this close to me. All right,

01:38:43.119 --> 01:38:47.720
your turn. I'm going to be un -PC. Is it a man?

01:38:49.460 --> 01:39:09.029
They have a male name. Okie doke. Is your person

01:39:09.029 --> 01:39:15.130
wearing a hat? Yes. Aha. Okay. Not a hat. Not

01:39:15.130 --> 01:39:20.479
a hat. That's a tiara. Still headwear, though.

01:39:20.560 --> 01:39:23.800
Do you agree? Oh, yeah, yeah. I'd count that

01:39:23.800 --> 01:39:25.520
as a hat if they were being specific to ask.

01:39:25.739 --> 01:39:40.159
Okay. Is yours wearing a hat? No. Is yours ginger

01:39:41.729 --> 01:39:53.729
to red hair sort of profile? No. Does yours have

01:39:53.920 --> 01:40:00.970
a... Mustache. No. Doesn't have a moustache.

01:40:04.310 --> 01:40:13.739
Are you Anna? Damn it, yes. Yay! My next question

01:40:13.739 --> 01:40:16.659
was going to be, does yours have glasses? Yes.

01:40:17.180 --> 01:40:22.899
Are you Sean? I am. Good game. Want another go?

01:40:23.699 --> 01:40:25.859
Yeah. That was over pretty quickly, wasn't it?

01:40:27.329 --> 01:40:32.810
So, there they were. The ones we've just had.

01:40:32.970 --> 01:40:44.369
Yeah. I cut all my nails the other day, so they're

01:40:44.369 --> 01:40:50.810
not the ideal length. I'll let you be in charge

01:40:50.810 --> 01:40:59.359
of the cards while I'm finishing, I think. Okay,

01:40:59.720 --> 01:41:11.510
stop. I'll choose the one next to that. I'll

01:41:11.510 --> 01:41:16.380
put those sideways. So, you know, they're the

01:41:16.380 --> 01:41:20.449
ones that haven't been used. OK, you get to guess

01:41:20.449 --> 01:41:29.250
first this time. Is yours wearing a hat? Yes.

01:41:44.359 --> 01:42:02.810
Your character have a lady's name. Yes. Does

01:42:02.810 --> 01:42:07.949
your character have a lady's name? Yes. You look

01:42:07.949 --> 01:42:09.909
to be doing the faster elimination this time

01:42:09.909 --> 01:42:27.979
around. OK. Is your... Person. Lauren. No. Is

01:42:27.979 --> 01:42:33.609
yours Tricia? No. Oh, and you're not Anna because

01:42:33.609 --> 01:42:40.779
we used her before. Okay. Is your person wearing

01:42:40.779 --> 01:42:53.979
earrings? No. You, Carol. I am. Well done. Are

01:42:53.979 --> 01:42:59.840
you... Emma. Yes. I was going to say that one

01:42:59.840 --> 01:43:01.920
instead of the last one. That changed my mind.

01:43:04.399 --> 01:43:08.760
One all. Oh, Val, you're making me so... Oh,

01:43:08.819 --> 01:43:12.539
shit. I just... I did a thing then. I itched

01:43:12.539 --> 01:43:16.630
under Val and I... Oh, is he broken? I mean,

01:43:16.649 --> 01:43:19.689
he's a lot... Is he switched on? He's on. Oh,

01:43:19.689 --> 01:43:21.590
there we go. I just turned the turny dial thing,

01:43:21.710 --> 01:43:23.890
I think. Oh, I don't know what that does. Oh,

01:43:23.930 --> 01:43:27.609
step count, 4 ,222. I don't think that's right.

01:43:31.949 --> 01:43:35.029
You can't tell the time, so... Good point. Calories,

01:43:35.149 --> 01:43:37.989
we've burnt 102. We've probably eaten more than

01:43:37.989 --> 01:43:39.829
that. Well, I was wearing it for some of it,

01:43:39.850 --> 01:43:43.729
so yeah, there's no way of telling. Yeah. Let's

01:43:43.729 --> 01:43:47.239
turn that up a little bit. Okay, are we going

01:43:47.239 --> 01:43:57.069
for a rest of... It is on. Oh, it is, that's

01:43:57.069 --> 01:44:02.460
all right. I can see fire. I thought I knocked

01:44:02.460 --> 01:44:04.439
it too far the other way then. No, it's definitely

01:44:04.439 --> 01:44:13.220
on. Make sure it doesn't leak. Okay, best of

01:44:13.220 --> 01:44:16.979
three. Winner takes all. Your turn to shuffle.

01:44:32.329 --> 01:44:40.420
And it's not going to be Emma. Hedging my bets.

01:44:40.840 --> 01:45:03.329
Next one then. I keep standing on a grass clump

01:45:03.329 --> 01:45:11.449
and losing my balance. I can't remember one of

01:45:11.449 --> 01:45:12.670
the other ones I've knocked down that should

01:45:12.670 --> 01:45:15.310
have been for you, but never mind. Okay, we're

01:45:15.310 --> 01:45:24.449
going in hard and fast. Are you Graham? No. Are

01:45:24.449 --> 01:45:28.100
you a lady? Me personally or my character? Your

01:45:28.100 --> 01:45:40.699
character. The character has a man's name. Are

01:45:40.699 --> 01:45:50.590
you a female named character? Yes. Are you wearing

01:45:50.590 --> 01:46:07.079
a hat? No. Are you blonde? Yes. Do you have glasses?

01:46:07.300 --> 01:46:19.359
No. Are you Eve? Yes. Yay! Are you Daniel? No.

01:46:19.859 --> 01:46:29.010
I'm Louis. Let's cook this a bit faster. It seems

01:46:29.010 --> 01:46:32.859
to be taking a while to... come to the boil although

01:46:33.180 --> 01:46:36.180
that says probably only needs to be heated well

01:46:37.420 --> 01:46:39.939
the beans said 10 minutes in boiling water but

01:46:39.939 --> 01:46:42.479
i don't think they were on that long and they

01:46:42.479 --> 01:46:46.619
were perfectly warm oh that was a fun little

01:46:46.619 --> 01:46:50.489
game always like to game a guess who oh there's

01:46:50.489 --> 01:46:57.000
your old character there oh yeah oh they were

01:46:57.000 --> 01:46:59.300
both on top oh yeah we need to separate the two

01:46:59.300 --> 01:47:05.119
packs don't we here that was fun it was fun cheers

01:47:05.699 --> 01:47:08.659
Yeah, good choice. It was an enormous crocodile.

01:47:08.960 --> 01:47:11.619
Do you know what? Considering we thought us doing

01:47:11.619 --> 01:47:14.399
an outside episode was a bit stupid and that

01:47:14.399 --> 01:47:17.180
we've been roped into it and we were really struggling

01:47:17.180 --> 01:47:22.930
to try and just get it together today, I think

01:47:22.930 --> 01:47:26.670
it's come together all right. Well, we've just

01:47:26.670 --> 01:47:31.109
taken Val for a picnic. Yeah, I hope you appreciate

01:47:31.109 --> 01:47:33.310
it, Val. We've had no reason to be outside. You've

01:47:33.310 --> 01:47:36.770
just forced us to come out here. And now you're

01:47:36.770 --> 01:47:38.050
not talking to us, now we've brought you out

01:47:38.050 --> 01:47:40.970
here. Yeah. He has been very quiet. It does worry

01:47:40.970 --> 01:47:52.600
me. Right. Shall I press pause and... I'll cook

01:47:52.600 --> 01:47:58.279
my beef neti goreng. And I'll get some... Get

01:47:58.409 --> 01:48:01.689
some seasoning. Yeah, get some appetiser on the

01:48:01.689 --> 01:48:07.949
go. It would actually help if I pressed fucking

01:48:07.949 --> 01:48:22.479
pause, wouldn't it? There we go. Do you think

01:48:22.479 --> 01:48:24.100
I could have passed for a zombie in Shaun of

01:48:24.100 --> 01:48:31.119
the Dead? Swing! Hello, sweet chariot. Rope swing.

01:48:31.680 --> 01:48:34.340
Over a stream. You know who would love that.

01:48:36.439 --> 01:48:39.020
I mean, it's the other side of the stream. I'm

01:48:39.020 --> 01:48:40.960
not going to wait to get to it. I'm not feeling

01:48:40.960 --> 01:48:43.199
brave enough to have a go. No, if it was this

01:48:43.199 --> 01:48:48.100
side, I might poke it. I don't think I'd trust

01:48:48.100 --> 01:48:53.079
sitting on it. Although, to be fair, my childhood

01:48:53.079 --> 01:48:56.369
swings survived me sitting on them. earlier this

01:48:56.369 --> 01:49:04.460
year speaking of milton keynes nanny is 99 years

01:49:04.460 --> 01:49:07.420
old next week oh wish i had a birthday from me

01:49:07.420 --> 01:49:11.420
yeah we're hoping to have a big party it's amazing

01:49:11.420 --> 01:49:15.560
it's a lot of traveling but it's so nice to see

01:49:15.560 --> 01:49:17.260
the family of milton keynes because i see them

01:49:17.260 --> 01:49:23.000
so rarely and 99 i mean fucking hell that's that's

01:49:23.000 --> 01:49:25.260
more than a good inning i mean if you were a

01:49:25.260 --> 01:49:27.220
cricketer you'd be pissed off if you if someone

01:49:27.220 --> 01:49:31.439
caught you at 99 but as a human yeah that's a

01:49:31.439 --> 01:49:34.560
you know that's a long i mean like all the things

01:49:34.560 --> 01:49:36.600
that have been invented whilst nanny's been alive

01:49:36.600 --> 01:49:42.960
white bread sliced bread when was the telephone

01:49:42.960 --> 01:49:46.319
invented television at least television black

01:49:46.319 --> 01:49:52.840
and white and color and hd video games videos

01:49:52.840 --> 01:49:59.180
vhs cds cassette tapes And depending on where

01:49:59.180 --> 01:50:02.439
she lived, some places took a while to have sort

01:50:02.439 --> 01:50:06.569
of gas and electric fitted. Some places in the

01:50:06.569 --> 01:50:08.350
country still don't have mains gas. No, that's

01:50:08.350 --> 01:50:10.250
true. My sister doesn't have mains gas. She lives

01:50:10.250 --> 01:50:12.189
in a village. She's got BOC bottles of gas out

01:50:12.189 --> 01:50:15.130
the back of her house in a big cage. Down the

01:50:15.130 --> 01:50:19.729
gower, there's a big green... Septic tank. Tank

01:50:19.729 --> 01:50:22.350
things, just full of gas and stuff and oils,

01:50:22.489 --> 01:50:27.119
that's it, yeah. I think your food's ready. Oh,

01:50:27.140 --> 01:50:29.430
is it? Just leave it on the side to cool for

01:50:29.430 --> 01:50:31.329
a minute. It was way too hot to handle yesterday.

01:50:32.890 --> 01:50:38.060
Thank you. Casserole. These have got a gusset

01:50:38.060 --> 01:50:40.920
in them at least, so it can stand. Thank you,

01:50:40.920 --> 01:50:48.600
sir. Appreciate you. All right. Oh, well, it's

01:50:48.600 --> 01:50:54.319
a nice treat to lean against. So what have we

01:50:54.319 --> 01:50:57.439
got? We've got pasta shells, which are made of

01:50:57.439 --> 01:51:01.180
wheat, semolina, water and egg protein. Chicken

01:51:01.180 --> 01:51:05.649
broth. um cooked chicken lentils carrot tomato

01:51:05.649 --> 01:51:09.590
paste rapeseed oil modified cornstarch that's

01:51:09.590 --> 01:51:14.550
very american salt oh parmesan cheese oh fancy

01:51:14.550 --> 01:51:20.189
yeast extract garlic herbs sugar soy sauce um

01:51:20.829 --> 01:51:28.680
and tricalcium phosphate my favorite It's just

01:51:28.680 --> 01:51:31.039
value for money other than bicalcium phosphate.

01:51:31.180 --> 01:51:40.920
Yeah. Why have two when you can have three? Oh,

01:51:41.000 --> 01:51:43.300
wow. That's not the colour I was expecting. I

01:51:46.689 --> 01:51:49.170
think the very top of mine is a bit cold. The

01:51:49.170 --> 01:51:51.470
very top of mine feels a bit cold. You've not

01:51:51.470 --> 01:51:54.050
left it in long enough. On the bottom of it,

01:51:54.050 --> 01:52:00.590
it's really warm. Mix it. Yeah. That's what mine

01:52:00.590 --> 01:52:03.760
looks like. I was expecting it to be more sort

01:52:03.760 --> 01:52:07.359
of red. Oh, mine didn't quite rip properly. Looks

01:52:07.359 --> 01:52:10.060
a bit more like a tuna. Tuna pasta casserole,

01:52:10.119 --> 01:52:12.439
but I'm not going to complain. I didn't know

01:52:12.439 --> 01:52:17.050
what to expect. No, but it was alright. I was

01:52:17.050 --> 01:52:21.909
expecting mine to be a bit more brown. The rice

01:52:21.909 --> 01:52:24.689
is a little bit clumpy. Maybe I should have broken

01:52:24.689 --> 01:52:31.789
that up a bit more. Maybe I should have cooked

01:52:31.789 --> 01:52:36.960
it a bit more. Do it a bit cold. Make yourself

01:52:36.960 --> 01:52:40.460
ill. It's all been cooked already. You can eat

01:52:40.460 --> 01:52:51.350
it cold. How hot the back is doesn't taste it.

01:52:53.829 --> 01:52:55.850
I've decided this is a really nice chill spot.

01:52:57.760 --> 01:52:59.619
Like if we ever just want to come out for a chill,

01:52:59.699 --> 01:53:03.020
this is like, this is a really nice place. A

01:53:06.119 --> 01:53:11.260
big lump of food just fell off the spoon. What

01:53:11.260 --> 01:53:12.739
does yours taste like? What's the spice like?

01:53:13.119 --> 01:53:15.880
Is it tasty spice? Incredibly mild, but they're

01:53:15.880 --> 01:53:18.300
tasty. Yeah, like flavour spice rather than heat

01:53:18.300 --> 01:53:24.039
spice. Yeah. Doesn't taste all that nice, but

01:53:24.039 --> 01:53:30.619
it's mostly just rice at the moment. Mine's not

01:53:30.619 --> 01:53:32.359
too bad, but I maintain that they could package

01:53:32.359 --> 01:53:34.579
it as a tuna pasta bacon. No one would know the

01:53:34.579 --> 01:53:36.140
difference. Do you want to try it? No, it's okay.

01:53:36.220 --> 01:53:44.930
Thank you. Do you want to try some of mine? It's

01:53:44.930 --> 01:53:49.130
got quite nice flavour into it. Like you say,

01:53:49.229 --> 01:53:54.739
it is mild but the flavours are quite layered.

01:53:55.590 --> 01:53:58.329
It doesn't just taste of mush. Like more beef

01:53:58.329 --> 01:54:00.270
than rice. They've gone a bit heavy with the

01:54:00.270 --> 01:54:05.850
rice in the ratio. Genuinely quite surprised

01:54:05.850 --> 01:54:15.449
by this. Some rice for the birds. The good thing

01:54:15.449 --> 01:54:19.229
as well is there's plenty of moisture in this.

01:54:19.659 --> 01:54:22.420
So if you're feeling thirsty, like I have been

01:54:22.420 --> 01:54:24.920
the last couple of hours, it's actually helping

01:54:24.920 --> 01:54:31.630
quite a bit because of the stock content. Chicken

01:54:31.630 --> 01:54:36.949
bone. What, sorry? Found a bit of chicken bone.

01:54:37.229 --> 01:54:41.289
Oh. Found it before I broke a tooth, though.

01:54:43.090 --> 01:54:44.989
I mean, the chicken on this is all the chicken

01:54:44.989 --> 01:54:46.750
that gets mangled off the bones anyway in the

01:54:46.750 --> 01:54:51.960
factory. So it's understandable to find a splinter.

01:54:53.689 --> 01:54:57.340
Certainly not going to write a letter of complaint

01:54:57.340 --> 01:55:03.590
or anything. Complain to your CO. Complain to

01:55:03.590 --> 01:55:11.569
your CO. Or quartermaster. Do you think Val will

01:55:11.569 --> 01:55:16.390
be happy with our efforts? We'll see how this

01:55:16.390 --> 01:55:18.970
recording comes out. If it's worked, I'm sure

01:55:18.970 --> 01:55:25.069
he'll be happy. I'm happy with his sustenance

01:55:25.069 --> 01:55:28.279
he's provided. Yeah. Can't fault him on that.

01:55:28.619 --> 01:55:31.180
That's true. He looked after us. I thought he'd

01:55:31.180 --> 01:55:35.829
give us shit. Yeah. He's actually... Yeah, I

01:55:35.829 --> 01:55:37.289
thought this was going to be entirely a punishment.

01:55:37.930 --> 01:55:40.090
Yeah, I thought there was going to be some sort

01:55:40.090 --> 01:55:43.609
of pun element. Not necessarily punishment, but

01:55:43.609 --> 01:55:49.560
pun element. But, you know, I'm quite pleasantly

01:55:49.560 --> 01:55:52.720
surprised. I'm convinced that I'm still in Val's

01:55:52.720 --> 01:55:56.510
good books. If this was a solo mission for you,

01:55:56.550 --> 01:55:59.189
it might have been different. Yeah, no supplies.

01:55:59.449 --> 01:56:02.489
Just go and test this kit. Yeah. Use a tarp.

01:56:02.489 --> 01:56:08.119
Off you fuck. Still worried he's been through

01:56:08.119 --> 01:56:09.939
my kitchen cupboards and drawers and wherever

01:56:09.939 --> 01:56:12.930
else he's been through my house. Yeah. I mean,

01:56:12.930 --> 01:56:17.699
he must have had some sort of assistance. Presumably.

01:56:18.020 --> 01:56:20.479
I don't want to be offensive or anything, but

01:56:20.479 --> 01:56:22.939
presumably he had some sort of assistance. He

01:56:22.939 --> 01:56:24.640
didn't give us any straight answers. Didn't know

01:56:24.640 --> 01:56:26.420
how he used the phone that first time. That's

01:56:26.420 --> 01:56:29.970
true. Did you get a spare key off your dad? I

01:56:29.970 --> 01:56:31.050
don't know. You have anyone with a spare key?

01:56:32.460 --> 01:56:34.239
No, my family can't get into my house in emergencies.

01:56:35.869 --> 01:56:38.430
And you were with me. I know your way about.

01:56:39.479 --> 01:56:43.699
That's true. But... Your door key was unattended

01:56:43.699 --> 01:56:49.909
in my flat for some time. Why wouldn't you just

01:56:49.909 --> 01:56:51.510
dump the stuff there instead of getting two sets

01:56:51.510 --> 01:56:56.630
of keys? Why didn't you just do the extra step

01:56:56.630 --> 01:57:00.010
just to fuck with me? I'm going to put it past

01:57:00.010 --> 01:57:08.250
him. You do seem to push his buttons. Metaphorically

01:57:08.250 --> 01:57:10.550
speaking. I just asked one innocent question.

01:57:10.569 --> 01:57:17.659
I thought we were innocent. Curiosity. Meow.

01:57:19.500 --> 01:57:26.449
Yeah. Seems to be. Because he didn't do the hand

01:57:26.449 --> 01:57:35.239
claps. How's he holding keys? I mean, I suppose

01:57:35.239 --> 01:57:39.279
the fact that he didn't or couldn't clap would

01:57:39.729 --> 01:57:41.869
suggest that he is... Well, I don't know if it

01:57:41.869 --> 01:57:44.430
was couldn't or wouldn't. More than just a voice?

01:57:48.079 --> 01:57:50.149
I've got no way of... I've tried to find out.

01:57:55.069 --> 01:57:58.149
Shall we head back or do you think we'll just

01:57:58.149 --> 01:58:01.789
have dessert? I'm pretty full. I'm pretty full

01:58:01.789 --> 01:58:03.810
too, to be fair. And we've tested that the kit

01:58:03.810 --> 01:58:06.590
works. It does. I mean, we've still got dessert

01:58:06.590 --> 01:58:10.069
and another meal each to save. I'm not trying.

01:58:10.189 --> 01:58:13.909
You'll send us out again. I know. I'm too tired

01:58:13.909 --> 01:58:15.430
to do anything. We've tested all the kit out.

01:58:16.170 --> 01:58:21.600
There we go. Yeah. Maybe I'll take my chocolate

01:58:21.600 --> 01:58:26.359
sponge home and cook it on the hob. Shall we

01:58:26.359 --> 01:58:28.899
head back and at least have a can of pop? Oh,

01:58:29.020 --> 01:58:34.970
that sounds marvellous, actually. That does sound

01:58:34.970 --> 01:58:37.689
like a very good idea. This water's lovely and

01:58:37.689 --> 01:58:41.630
all but... Yeah, there's no caffeine in it. My

01:58:41.630 --> 01:58:46.189
body runs on caffeine. In case you can't tell,

01:58:46.270 --> 01:58:54.569
my voice is completely gone now. Right, let's

01:58:54.569 --> 01:58:58.859
go home. Okay. Well, it's been a nice day outside.

01:58:59.399 --> 01:59:02.979
Pardon? It's been a nice day outside. Yeah, it's

01:59:03.590 --> 01:59:07.380
been a lovely day out. I do like fresh air. I

01:59:07.380 --> 01:59:09.579
don't get very much of it. Nowhere near as much

01:59:09.579 --> 01:59:14.289
as I should. We've been for a walk. Hope you're

01:59:14.289 --> 01:59:17.310
bloody happy, Val. We've eaten some food. We're

01:59:17.310 --> 01:59:21.090
back at the van. Val has survived the journey.

01:59:22.319 --> 01:59:28.550
And we're about to leave. We can go home. Hooray.

01:59:29.109 --> 01:59:32.149
All right. Signing off on the video. Bye, folks.

01:59:32.289 --> 01:59:35.170
Thanks for joining. Bye. Bye, bye, bye. All my

01:59:35.170 --> 01:59:43.180
hats on your way. There you go. I know I told

01:59:43.180 --> 01:59:45.039
you off for pressing random buttons and keys

01:59:45.039 --> 01:59:48.979
before. But now we're back. We have... We've

01:59:48.979 --> 01:59:51.819
not heard from Val all day. Post it though did

01:59:51.819 --> 01:59:55.279
say clearly not to mess with any settings, but...

01:59:55.279 --> 02:00:08.100
If you're sure. I did exactly as you said. This

02:00:08.100 --> 02:00:14.170
button here, see? Wait, hang on. You're... You

02:00:14.689 --> 02:00:17.090
fucking twat! It's your fault you've got no battery

02:00:17.090 --> 02:00:20.250
left. Instructions for the user, not from the

02:00:20.250 --> 02:00:23.010
device's perspective. I'm just going to switch

02:00:23.010 --> 02:00:25.329
you off and post you back to the studio. This

02:00:25.329 --> 02:00:32.979
one's standby, right? Left. Shall we post it

02:00:32.979 --> 02:00:36.920
second class? Adam and Karen have been lightly

02:00:36.920 --> 02:00:41.520
used. Visit lightlyused .co .uk for more. To

02:00:41.520 --> 02:00:45.399
get in touch, email pod at lightlyused .co .uk.

02:00:51.970 --> 02:00:54.970
Okay, you ready? Yes. Oh, let's wait for this

02:00:54.970 --> 02:00:58.359
bus to leave from outside the house. Just sort

02:00:58.359 --> 02:01:01.819
of pull up. Just as I said, are you ready? Typical.

02:01:02.079 --> 02:01:18.090
Yeah. That's lifting back up. Indicating. So

02:01:18.090 --> 02:01:25.789
excited, boss. It was labelled as farm use. Sorry.

02:01:26.970 --> 02:01:29.449
Let's get back to the list. Let's get back to

02:01:29.449 --> 02:01:31.250
the list. There's not much time. There's not

02:01:31.250 --> 02:01:33.989
much left. Sorry. Let's get back. Fuck me, Jess

02:01:33.989 --> 02:01:41.100
says. Oh, sorry. That's a huge spurt. I was nearly

02:01:41.100 --> 02:01:42.659
just a little bit sick in my throat there. Oh.

02:01:44.880 --> 02:01:46.920
Bending over and burping immediately after eating

02:01:46.920 --> 02:01:48.960
a bunch of beans. Not smart.