<ADAM's PHONE RINGS> What the hell's this? Let's see who this is.
Moshi Moshi. Ah, hello, Adam. Do you know who
this is? Oh, hey, Val. It's Valentino. Have you
been trying to reach me? I like you two. You
haven't asked me for anything. But management
have asked me to be proactive. So, what do you
need from me? This is a one -time freebie. No
questions asked. Um, I think we're all good,
thanks. We've already got a show voiceover. It's
Ed Parnell. He's my guy. So we've got an intro
and outro already. Any announcements we sort
of do ourselves. If you need anything taken care
of. Oh, there is something I could surprise Karen
with. You know the tat in the box bit she does
the jingle for? Could you do a jingle for it?
Just keep this between ourselves. Don't tell
Karen I did the jingle, but it goes like this.
Tat in the box, tat in the box. Tat in the box,
tat in the box. Tat in the box, tat in the box.
Tat in the box. You know, blankety blank theme
tune. If you're sure this is what you want. Yeah,
yeah, yeah. Yeah, it'll be a fun surprise. Okay,
in your own time. Not sure if you heard, but
there were some hand claps too. Oh. Can you do
hand claps? Actually, how... Do you have a body?
How does that work? Get Karen. Now. Don't spoil
the surprise, alright? I'll be back in a tick.
Karen! Phone for you. It's Val. Val? This fucking
guy. Hey Valentino, what's going on? I haven't
heard from you since the USS Shitshow Rap Party.
Hi. Oh, okay. See you, Val. Adam! What did you
say to Valentino? He'll be getting a letter from
HR, apparently. What the fuck did I do? This
is Rightly Used with Adam and Karen. Welcome
to Lightly Used episode 39. I'm Adam. And I'm
Karen. This is a podcast based around our love
of charity shops. We'll be taking turns to guess
each other's featured items by feel alone. We'll
read a bit of a local newspaper article from
2024. They're going to play a game, possibly
if we have time. And we're going to end the show
with a quick look at a book I got. Excellent.
Again, if we've got time. Yes. The reason I'm
saying this now, we've never ever really summed
up. What we do in the show, I don't think. Not
really right at the beginning. Normally we're
very definite on exactly what we're doing. We
just hope people have listened to the show enough
and just know what order we do things. If this
is your first time listening, welcome to the
show. We do things and we talk about them. We
usually do all the things I mentioned above,
but we're recording a little bit late today.
We are. And we're all very, very tired. I'm going
to say running on... I'd say I'm probably on
about 40 % energy. Oh, I'm at least at 60. Oh,
you're doing better than I am. Between the two
of us, there will be a 100 % effort by one person
in this podcast episode. I've had a bunch of
caffeine, so that's helped me out today. Caffeine
is a very useful thing. Thank you caffeine for
existing. Going back to mentioning things that
we tried to do but haven't got around to or it
was too difficult to do. We planned to record
the Star Trek Away Missions board game between
episodes 37 and 38. We did. You came round and
suggested that we watch a YouTube video like
when we played Sky Joe. Yes. Just to see, right,
what are we getting ourselves into? Yes, they're
helpful. Ooh. It was a lot more complicated than
we thought. It's a very involved game. We had
no idea what we were getting ourselves into,
as it turns out. It's very visual. I don't think
there's any way it would really work on the podcast,
even though we did Sky Joe, which is also a very
visual game. Yes. It was also a very quick game.
That's true. And we could describe things as
we're going on. I've turned over this and revealed
this. Whereas with that, it's... I've moved one
square up, one square left. And I have line of
sight to see through a door so I can fire on
my next move. Yeah. For those of you that have
been around since the very beginning, we played
the Loch Ness board game. And that, whilst it
was great fun and very complicated and really
actually fun to listen back to, I laughed at
myself quite a lot listening back to those episodes.
I still... think the star trek game would not
translate even as well as an se and that was
when we were first starting out we've been at
this over a year now and i think it would be
really complex a game to play for audio format
only and i also think you'd need to invest in
a second dining table so we'd have a campaign
set up for probably a month well i was going
to keep this a secret but this table does extend
to about a third longer Oh, it ambigonates. Yeah,
but we might not be able to walk around it very
well. That's true. Crawling underneath it. There
is some extra table potential to be had. So we
could potentially play that game on here, but
it would be a very visual thing. So it would
just be something we film only if we can learn
to edit efficiently. Yes. I do have a correction
from episode 38. Ooh, I love a correction. Scary
stories to tell in the dark. Oh no, it was me.
It was me. I said, oh, is that from the TV series?
It was adapted into a film. Not a TV series.
Came out in 2019. No way. I thought in the back
of my mind it was ringing a bell. That might
have to be something we dig out and add to the
to -watch list. Guillermo del Toro was involved
as a co -writer and producer. Come on, Guillermo.
Apparently, there's a sequel in the works. Most
of the crew and cast are returning, at least
according to the Wikipedia article I skimmed.
Sounds banging. While editing the last episode.
Skimmy, skim, skim. Brilliant. Oh, yeah, we should
watch that. Also, to clarify from last episode,
episode 38, I wasn't keen on the second Sky Joe.
Because it was a very visual game. And I wasn't
sure that us reading out numbers was that engaging.
That's the only reason I went, yeah, I'm not
really bothered. Because how visual it was. Is
this working well? I mean, I haven't had any
complaints. We've got to have listeners to complain
to have complaints. No, we can do what we want
when no one listens to us. Whilst I'm speaking
of episode 38, clarification, not a correction.
Oh, okay. The watch that I'm donating. Yes. Just
to clarify, I'm not offloading broken shit. As
it might have sounded, only the strap is broken.
The battery's just run out. Yes, the watch itself
actually works. It just requires a new strap.
The battery has just run down. I've not replaced
it because I just don't wear the watch. I think
I wore it twice. It ran when parked. There we
are then. If it was a car. There we are then.
Going back to episode 38, one last time. Are
you sure this is the last time? No. One more
potential time. I know that before we recorded
Skyjo, which was done at a completely separate
session. Yes, it was. You said that you were
going to... Swear less. Swear less. And I swore
so much during Skyjo. Most of the swears are
from Skyjo. Did you count them? Boys and girls.
Well, no. Fuck me. Shit! Bollocks! Oh, shit.
Where is it? Yeah, well, sorry. My eyes have
been closed all the time we've been talking.
God damn it. It's tough fucking shit. You've
got a 12 now. I've picked up a zero. Oh, bastard.
I hate that. I'll swap it for the four I just
played. I'm not going to keep that, so I'll turn
that one over. Oh, fuck. And I'll swap it for
that one. Ah, bollocks. I picked up a four, got
rid of a minus one. Okay. Card from the pickup
pile. Oh, fuck. Ah, fuck. That's an 11. That's
not good. And reveal my final card. Ah, that's
how you did it. I forgot how you did it. Which
is... Fuck! An 11. And turn them over. Oh, fuck.
Ah, fuck. That's a 9. Oh, you bastard. Oh, God.
So there's that whole like, oh, fuck, I've done
the wrong thing and I should have put this card
on the discard pile instead of turning over a
12. Yeah, I didn't count them. There was a few
swears in there, let's put it that way. I'm so
glad you wrote this point down because this is
one of the things that I wanted to mention that
I'd forgotten about that I needed to write down
and I didn't. How much of an apology do you owe
your parents? I can never apologize enough for
my existence. That's why you're laughing. Yeah.
Sounds a sincere apology to me. Well, if I wasn't
laughing, I'd be crying and I'd rather not cry.
So we'll go with laugh. I don't think that counts
you fine with balls. Excellent. I wasn't finished
with last episode, as it goes. You rated my...
Let's say last episode, 38. You rated my cauldron
at 22 .44 grams, which is £41 .28 in silver.
Then we weighed my chunky -ass watch. Yeah. We
didn't do a comparison if that was in silver.
Oh, OK. The watch was 119 grams. Right. That
would have been £218 .98 of silver. Oh, that
would have been nice. That's how much heavier
the watch was than the cauldron. Yeah. Wow, that's
quite significant. Yeah, that's a heavy fucking
wristwatch. Very heavy. The clocks weigh less.
The grandfather clocks. I think I'm done with
everything. Are you sure? Any more for 38? No,
no. Any more callbacks? No, no. Looking at my
notes, I think I'm done with everything from
listening back to last episode and things like,
oh, I should be mentioning that. This didn't
come up. Or had I been paying more attention
to the words coming out of my mouth, I'd have
added this at the end of it. Fair enough. But
we did go to Tech the Quest. We did. For Valentine's
Day. Well, it was the Thursday. Valentino's Day.
Yeah. Yeah. It was so much fun. So our game this
week, and you said we can include the game, it
was a quiz sheet that's been mostly filled in
that I stole from a table at the end of the night.
I've made a list of some of our highlights as
well. I made notes before we'd forget. Well done.
There was a hurricane generator in the room.
Yeah. That was fun. We maybe should have... Wait
till the end, after we photographed ourselves
doing stuff before we went in there. My hair
just went crazy for the rest of the evening.
Your hair's been crazy ever since that wind tunnel.
I washed it last night. I can see that it's clean.
I can't do a thing with it now. It's definitely
clean. It's beautiful and shiny. It's got some
volume. That's just always my excuse for the
day after. I watched it the night before. Honestly.
Sure I did, mate. The wind tunnel slash hurricane
generator was great. There was a little camera
in there that recorded a 10 second video of you
in the wind. So you could then watch yourself
back and see how silly you looked. Oh, that's
what that did. Yeah, you didn't actually go and
look at it, did you? No, I just thought you could
take a focus selfie of yourself. Yeah, it did
like a little 10 -second video. I thought, we've
got a camera. Except I was holding it in very
different orientations, about three different
ways round. So there's no way I can share that
clip on YouTube. It's going to be YouTube shortwave,
then regular YouTube wave, then back to YouTube
shortwave. Yeah, if you're not an owl perched
horizontally, you won't be able to make much
sense of it. I'm not a cinematographer. No, me
either. But it was really good fun. There was
the earthquake simulator as well. That was fun.
That was good. The lower earthquakes. This is...
Now I know what they're like when people go,
oh, you were aware of the earthquake? Yeah, no,
I slept through it. You slept through it? Yeah,
yeah. Turns out now I've experienced what they
simulated. Yeah, it's very plausible I've slept
through many earthquakes. Yes, yeah. I've felt
a couple. So unless they got to some of the larger
ones on the setting, then go, oh, yeah, this
is noticeable. Stuff's happening. Yeah, like
over, was it Richter scale, isn't it? Over six
was very noticeable. Sort of four and a half
and under. A bit like a, kind of like a, did
I need a fart or was that just passing wind?
Did a bus just go by? Yeah. So interesting. I
enjoyed that too. And we had the, there's a big
indoor slide. The big indoor slide. I do have
video evidence of that. And I may have nearly
broken both of my knees on the second time I
went down the slide. I don't think either of
us were very graceful going down there. Oh, no,
there was no grace. Unlike that guy who went
down before us, who was all in black, who shot
down like a torpedo. Yeah, I thought that was
going to be a hindrance when he got to the end,
the leather jacket. But no, no, no. He went all
the way down to the end, off the bottom of the
slide and onto the crash mat. And he's the only
person I saw do that all night long. Frictionless.
Yeah. But note to self, try not to wear rubber
-soled shoes whilst using a slide unless you
can hold your feet up. Because that's why I nearly
broke my knees. We didn't explain what Techniquest
is. That's true. It's a science museum. It's
down Cardiff Bay and it's been there since I
think maybe the late 80s, early 90s. I remember
going there for a junior or comprehensive school
trip. Oh, wow. Some of the things, the exhibits
are still there. They might have been updated
slightly. There was a beach ball hovering against
a fan. Yeah. They might have changed the ball
a bit. It might be in a different place on the
floor. I'm trying to think of some of the other
things that were there. That gate. You're trying
to unlock the gate with several different keys
and there's a neck to doing it. I'm not going
to spoil it. You have to go there yourself. There
was one thing when I was a kid. In the dark room,
you could stand against a big white wall and
there was a big wall panel and there was a big
flash for the camera and it would take essentially
a photograph of your silhouette which would stay
on the wall and slowly fade away. That's really
cool. There's enough room for about five or six
of you to stand there. So yeah, a whole bunch
of us as kids were making silly poses and stuff
against the wall. Yeah, I remember that being
in there. It's a shame that's not there. It hasn't
changed all that much since I was a kid, I'll
be honest. The plasma ball was joyous. They've
just moved stuff around a bit. Yeah. But yes,
an interactive exhibit is something that I love.
To be able to get your hands on the science and
see the fun stuff that the science can do as
well. All the kits and exhibits that they had
there were really great fun. I thought they were
fabulous. I had a great time. Thank you. You're
very welcome. We went there as a Valentine's
Day adult late evening special entertainment
thing. Adult only. Yes, no kids. Otherwise, I
think it's normally about £12 to go in and you
can spend all day there. I think ours was about
£17 to let the people stay after hours instead
of going home. I think they also have a deal.
If you want to spend the last hour or two, there's
a reduced rate for going in. Oh, that's cool.
But that's really all you need an hour there,
to be fair. And the planetarium was good as well.
I wish the show had gone on a bit longer, to
be honest. That was my only complaint, was that
the show could have been an hour long and I wouldn't
have been in there long enough. That 20 or 30
minutes went by really, really fast. And the...
We saw a spacesuit or at least a mocha of a spacesuit
on the way out. Stig's astronaut cousin. Yeah.
And we were kind of making fun of it a little
bit. We were a little bit. But no, it was part
of the Principia. Principia? Oh, fucking hell.
Principia? My Latin's shockingly bad, surprisingly.
But yeah, that was... initiative for space and
they went around lots of educational centres
and schools with Tim Peake was giving talks and
things like that. No way. And Techniquest was
one of the stops on the tours. That's very cool.
I think that was back in 2016. So that's potentially
Tim Peake's underwear on that mannequin then.
Potentially. His space underwear. I can't prove
it's not. Nor can I. Thus it is. Until proven
otherwise. That's how it works, right? I think
so. Prove us wrong. Yeah, I guess so. One more
thing before we jump on. I don't know if you've
got many more things that you want to chat about.
I just want to squeeze in. Thank you very much
to the Buffoons Mystery Investigators. They are
a wonderful podcast. Dan and Steve. Pod nod.
They are lovely. I had four glorious hours talking
to them online, which, as anyone who knows me,
yes, I do like to talk. Sometimes it's hard for
me not to talk. Did they have full glorious hours
talking to you? I really hope so. They sent me
free merch. So I guess they had a good time.
Either that or it was, we'll just give Karen
all this stuff so we never have to speak to her
ever, ever, ever, ever again. Keep her happy.
Go away. Yeah. It was really nice swag. It was
lovely swag. Yeah, a couple of pens, nice button
badge, got a coaster, fridge magnet, sticker.
Yeah, they really spoiled me. And then I gave
a couple of bits to you. and ched because i'm
nice like that thank you for the sticker and
pen no you're welcome uh so yeah i had a great
time they gave me merch there'll be an episode
out of them with me in it soon if they can patch
together my very meandering tail i'll put a link
to their podcast in the show blog lightlyused
.co .uk This edition of Lightly Used News comes
from the Abergavenny Chronicle on Monday the
23rd of September 2024 by Tim Butters. Abergavennyman
claims hunting mermaids used to be a well -respected
sport. And Abergavennyman, who says he's been
ordered to hunt and capture a mermaid by higher
powers, has made the audacious claim. At once,
not only was hunting these mythical sea creatures
entirely plausible, but it was also a well -respected
sport. Nowadays, people are more into their football,
rugby and pigeon fantasy and fly fishing to really
understand what a popular pastime mermaid hunting
was, explained semi -professional paranormal
investigator Johnny Turnip. But if you rewind
the clock a few years, and we're sort of talking
the Dark Ages here, hunting females who had fishtails
instead of legs was all the rage. Turnip added,
I only know because an old sea dog called Captain
Cornelius Clyde told me. The captain has roamed
the earth for centuries, and he attributes his
incredibly long lifespan to the mermaids he has
used to drink in his youth. Turnip recalls that
Big Tony, Puerto Rico Paul, and himself were
put in touch with Captain Cornelius Clyde after
they paid Paul's mother, the witch of Tudor Street,
a visit to ask her advice on capturing mermaids.
Turnip said, After we left the Green Man Festival,
we spent a few days binge drinking and trying
to formulate a plan, but... We couldn't hatch
anything solid. It didn't help that Puerto Rico
Paul had one of his sporadic meltdowns. Paul's
got a very artistic temperament. He just hasn't
done anything artistic with his life. And sometimes
he goes a bit Van Gogh on us. He hasn't cut his
hair off yet, but he's come close. He gets these
dark moods and throws these massive hissy fits
where he just can't seem to find the point in
anything. Anyhow, Big Tony tried slapping them
around a bit and telling him to stop acting like
a bloody woman. But nothing was working, and
we were getting desperate. We had a world to
save after all, and Paul was our wingman. In
the end, Paul fixed himself by dressing up as
Pennywise and disappearing to a darkened room
for 48 hours, where he did nothing but drink
spiced ginger tea, play Duran Duran records,
and watch every episode of Succession back to
back. He left that room a new man, and it was
good to have the old Paul back. He ditched the
clown costume and wig, and just ran a pinstripe
suit and shades. This new Paul hardly looked
like another at all. He just turned to me and
Big Tony and said, while chewing a mat stick,
Gentlemen, We need to pay a visit to the witch.
Turnip explained that after jumping into Big
Tony's Bedford Rascal, the gang headed out to
Paul's mother's caravan on the outskirts of Llanthony
Priory. When we got to the witch's caravan, Pauline
was sat at the front in a bucket chair and skinning
her rabbit with a zombie knife. Hello, boys,
she smirked when we got out of the van. Baba
Bennett just dropped his bunny off. He'll be
gutted when I tell him he just missed Dumb Dumber
and Braindead. Turnip added, as the witch cackled
at a crap joke. Paul just sneered and spat on
the ground as if to ward off a great evil. However,
Big Tony just looked like he'd been visibly punched
in the gut. There was bad blood between him and
Bubba. As teenagers, they'd hunted and killed
a lot of small furry animals together. They were
even into badger baiting before it was a thing.
Yet, when Big Tony fell in love with a vegan
Buddhist from Blackwood, he quit blood sports
and made a big effort to pretend he didn't eat
meat. Anyhow, the big guy was very much in love,
and he'd just got engaged with the Buddhist girl
who was... Name I can't recall because we just
called it Linda Bacardi behind Tone's back. To
cut a long story short, Bubba Bennett threw an
engagement party and promised there would be
no meat on the menu for the sake of Tone's bird.
Yet, when we arrived, Bubba had laid out this
huge barbecue. There was wall -to -wall sausages
and burgers everywhere. He was even grilling
up roadkill, for Christ's sake. When Tone's lady
friend arrived, she didn't see the joke. She
just slapped Tony in front of everyone and shrieked,
What sort of animals eat meat on this scale?
She stormed out of there and out of Tone's life
for good, as the big love -struck chump just
looked on helplessly like a rabbit in the headlights.
When Bubba softly placed the hot dog in Tone's
clenched hand and said, Eat up, bro. Plenty more
fish in the sea. Plenty more pigs in the pen.
It was the last straw. A huge fight erupted.
It was like Hulk Hogan versus the Ultimate Warrior
all over again, but with real blood. Since that
day, two's paths have never crossed, and it was
why Big T was feeling the pain of the mention
of his former best mate's name. Anyhow, said
the witch, bringing us all back to the present.
With an unnerving narrowing of obedient, malevolent
eyes, she asked Paul, Why are you wearing that
suit, son? You look like a spiv. Have you been
to court again for shoplifting? What did you
nick this time? Low -fat mince? Ignoring her
venom, Paul explained wearily, We're on another
quest, Mum. What do you know about mermaids?
he asked. Enough to know when something smells
fishy, boy. If it's mermaid thereafter, go and
speak to Captain Cornelius Clyde. He'll tell
you all you need to know about those slippery
customers. You can usually find him hanging outside
supermarkets begging for spare change. Now clear
off, I've got a bunny to bile. Leaving old Acid
Tongue to her bitter and twisted ways, we set
off in fourth with this mysterious captain. Turnip
explained that after endlessly cruising around
the car parks of numerous supermarkets in Monmouthshire,
they finally caught up with the captain. and
took him to a pub where he shared his wisdom
about mermaids over a bottle of rum. Nice. At
first, the old sea dog had his twisted, explained
Turnip. He kept repeating that capturing a mermaid
and making her cry was a sure -fire way to gain
eternal life. He said in the old days it was
a popular sport, and every aspiring gangster
had dreams of growing up and becoming a mermaid
catcher. I had to explain that we weren't hunting
mermaids for reasons of pure immortality. We
were doing it because we were working for the
Triple Goddess, and she needed the mermaid tears
so the Green Man could drink them to restore
balance to the Earth. Turnip added, You could
tell the salty old bastard wasn't impressed by
that. He just looked at us all moody and misogynistic,
and said, Whatever the reason, if it's mermaids
you're after, there's no better hunting ground
than the town of Little Fishers itself. Tenby.
Grab your buckets and spades, boys! Cried Puerto
Rico Paul, who I now feared was entering the
manic phase of his bipolarity. We're going to
the seaside to dig for some miracles! To be continued.
And Tim Butters has compiled all these stories
so far into a book, The Manifest Trials and Tribulations
of Johnny Turnip. You can find a link to the
book and the original articles on our blog at
likelyused .co .uk. You know what it's time for?
Do I? I think you do. Why don't you tell me?
Tat in the box. Tat in the box. Tat in the box.
Tat in the box. I got you a present. I did that
without even moving my lips. That's fantastic.
Is that Valentino? Yeah, I told him you'd like
it. That's brilliant. So it's your turn to guess
first. Okay. So the first thing we're going to
do is an item we're going to be giving away.
We still didn't donate that big bag of crap that
I've got. No, no. I was meant to have got out
of here on St. David's Day. Oops. We should have
taken it to today. Never mind. It's still up
for grabs. Yeah. If anyone's interested, pod
at lightlyused .co .uk if you were to claim any
of our donation tat we featured so far. Yes.
You'll have to listen back for the catalogue.
I can't recall what they are off the top of my
head. No, not me. But you've got till, let's
say, April the 1st. Yeah. We'll have more stuff
in the bag by then. That's true. Including this.
Close your eyes. Eyes are closed. Hands are out.
And it's... Between your hands now. Ooh. That
feels like a zip. You can open it if you want.
It is a square wallet of some variety. Maybe
for CDs? Can you guess what colour it is from
your psychic fingers? Just so you can... That's
the chair. I will vouch for that. That is the
chair. I lent the left so you can see and my
eyes are closed. My eyes are closed. What colour
is it? What colour is it? What colour is it?
Blue. Okay, you're going with blue. I can't confirm
or deny at the moment. Okay. Am I done guessing?
Is it the right thing? I was wondering if you
wanted to open it. Oh, we'll open it. Open it.
Oh. Oh. It's not CDs. It's like a vanity set.
Is it a gentleman's vanity set? You are correct.
Oh, so it's not blue. You can open your eyes.
Red. You've guessed it correctly. Oh, it's a
Brun. Very nice. The price tag and the receipt
should be behind the little mirror in there.
The price tag is from the RSPCA. Do you know
how much it costs you? £4 .99. £5 .99. You were
feeling spenny this day. I thought it looked
fancy in the shop. It was opened like that. It
looked nice. I got it home and I saw how corroded
the inside of the talc powder and stuff is. I
can't really use this. Use the brush in the mirror.
The brush is for clothes, not your hair. But
yeah, I don't need a big box like that for it.
That's true. I'm not going to use that old toothbrush
in there. Yeah, the metal compartments look to
be like silver -plated or nickel -plated copper.
Let's have a look. Where the talc is inside.
Chromium -plated. So it's chromium -plated copper.
I'm saying copper because it's got green corrosion
on the inside. Lovely smell to it, though. Still
smells of a handsome gentleman from somewhere.
Maybe a bit of brute or Old Spice. I was going
to say Old Spice, man. It could definitely be
Old Spice. It's the sort of person that would
have Old Spice and Brylcreem. Can you smell?
I'd rather not, just in case there's asbestos
in the talk. Oh, right, yeah, sorry. Just let
me get the lung cancer. You chose to do it. Don't
warn me or anything. It's like watching me walk
off a cliff and not going, Cameron, there's a
cliff there. I thought you were just looking
in there. I couldn't see behind the mic that
you were taking a sniff until you'd already done
it. Oh, well, I've sniffed them both now, so
if I get asbestos poisoning, we can sue Adam.
No, no, you did that by yourself. That is a rather
lovely thing. But, yeah, I shall be donating
that to some... If you give it back to the RSPCA,
you can give them the same price tag. Then you
don't need to do anything with it. Exactly. Just
straight back out. Yeah, yeah. The zip managed
to find its way inside the packet. I've opened
it too wide. I will leave that there. I could
tell I'm only recording with one gentleman today.
Right, do you want to guess my mystery tat item?
I do want to guess your mystery tat item. Throw
it at me, sort of. Oops. There we go. Have you
just broken it? No. It's out of the box and in
front of you. You'll guess it straight away.
Is this your plasma ball? Yay! That noise was
just the back of the plasma ball. It's got a
screen on the back for visibility. I thought
it would just make it weirder if you're trying
to feel what it is with that on there. That's
very cool. Love a plasma ball. Does it work?
Yeah. Wicked. Oh, I've stuck it on the wrong
way as well because the cut out bit should go
at the bottom. There we go. Yeah, I've had this
for about maybe 15 years. It's a proper student
purchase. It's a present for me. It's a present
for you. Yeah, my parents got it for me for Christmas.
It's like... When I went to student halls, it
was the choice between a lava lamp or a plasma
ball. I was going to say, this will last. Early
2000s, you know. Gadget shop aesthetic. Yeah.
Really cool. I think it was just called the gadget
shop, wasn't it? I think it was just called the
gadget shop. I think then they started selling
like spice and legal hides and stuff as well
towards the end of the run. At least the one
in Swansea did opposite where Argos used to be.
That's before my time. I've never tried any of
that. They seem shady as shit to me. From what
I know of legal highs, they have tended to have
worse impacts on people's short and long -term
health than most illegal highs. This is not advice.
I'm not advising anybody to go out and get themselves
any kind of high. I'm just saying these are things
that I've heard. We're certainly advising you
not to get the spice. Oh, yeah, don't do spice,
kids. It's bad. Unless it's like curry powder
or cumin or turmeric or something like that.
But like the stuff that you smoke, don't do that.
Just say no, kids. Just say no. Okie doke. Oh,
shit, yeah, I guess you want to... I'm just like,
I was sat here just thinking away to myself,
you know, blah, blah, blah, blah. Yeah, I've
done my civic duty. With your eyes closed and
your hands out, waiting patiently for me to remember
that I'm actually supposed to do something. Yeah,
we've been there, adults. We told the kids, yeah,
don't do it. All right, moving on. We've done
the bare minimum. Donation item first. Caveat.
you will know exactly what kind of item it is
immediately. What I am interested in is if you
can guess specifically what it is. And the only
way you can do that is because I know you know
what this thing is. Oh, okay. Okay. And thanks
for reminding me of the psych theme tune. Psych?
It doesn't matter. I swear, the farty noises
of the chair. It doesn't matter what I wear in
this place, I fart chair all the time. It's on
the table in front of you. It's a book. Correct.
Now, as per the caveat... Yes, I'm familiar with
one of these. Can you guess what book it might
be? Right, it's fairly thin. For our audio listeners,
it is not a New Testament. It's a soft beck.
It's... Maybe 100 -ish pages, something like
that. Can you count how many have I guessed?
It doesn't say on the last page or that page.
I keep flicking. Or that page. Or that page.
I don't know. There's no page numbers, love.
Sorry. Let's assume I was spot on. Okay. So,
a book that has no page numbers, but you know
what book it is. Okay. Is it a colouring book?
It is not. It is a very specific book that we
have discussed previously on the podcast. My
memory's for shit. I do not pay attention to
our own show. It is the most awful, shittiest
book. Oh, that fucking joke book. Yes. That fiend
joke book with the insertable, the job, insert
job title here, joke book with clip art of somebody.
That's the one. You can open your eyes now. I
couldn't remember the job. The dentist joke book
is finally going on. Chester Croker. Chester
Croker is going on the donate pile. Too lazy
to even number his pages. I know, right? Shocking.
Yeah, I... How many years was this again? Does
it predate AI? I don't know. It's a self -published
Amazon jobbing, I believe, from what I can recall.
No, it doesn't have a year. So there's no way
of knowing if this is just completely AI from
the earlier days. I think it's pre -AI because
Chester Kroger has got several... Oh, they're
probably just a collection of internet jokes
of like... Probably, actually. Like some of Peter
Kay's material. Yeah, I don't know. Early internet
stuff. Benefit the doubt Chester Croker is a
real guy. Actual fact, couldn't tell you for
sure. Right. Yeah, you're probably better off
donating that. Okay. I don't think anyone's going
to be clamouring to get in touch with us to get
it there. No, unless anyone knows any dentists
that they really hate. Like their own dentist.
Yeah, good point. Yeah, someone get in touch
and put it in your dentist's waiting room. Yeah,
please do. I bet the receptionist will have such
a laugh. Okay, tat item for keeps. Okie dokie.
I will preface this with a, I don't really know
if it's something that I should keep. Okay. It
is on the table in front of you. Am I giggling
there? I was anticipating what it might be. It's
not rude. A potentially regrettable keep item.
It is a very potentially regrettable keep item.
And this is one of the reasons that I'm bringing
it to the show. There's some tassels. It's quite
thin. There's some tassels on the very bottom
with an orb, bauble -y sort of feel, which goes
up on a stalk, leading to some ornamental shapes.
Quite circular with a rough edge. I'm trying
to work out what this is to describe it. You
probably won't figure out what it depicts. Oh,
it's a brush, actually, of some kind. I'm actually
picking the thing up. The bristles were just
a brush. Is it a... shaving brush sort of brush
or something for the fireplace it is a fireplace
right uh it is part of a companion set right
it's very one -sided the design on the front
yes it's flat backed yeah so to be face out yeah
so it's like part of one of those sets used to
get between like the 50s and the 80s where they
came on a a brass stand with a like you know
a circular bottom and a bit that comes out the
middle like a toilet roll holder, and several
hooks where you would place your shovel, your
long brush, your bits and pieces. And this is
one piece of one of those sets. Before you open
your eyes, just... I can't work out what this
decoration is meant to depict. I just want to
say that it is okay for you to give any reaction
that you get that is a natural reaction to have.
Thanks for letting me tell me to brace myself.
Now that we've got to the point that it is a
fireplace brush from a companion set, feel free
to open your eyes at any point and then tell
the world how wrong it is. Oh, yeah, right. It's.
Yeah. Of its time, I'm guessing, an African sort
of lady with a headdress, sort of bonnet thing.
She's got a headscarf on her head. But with very
accentuated characteristics. Such as the length
of the neck, the lips, the shape of the nose,
the shape of the forehead in particular. I would
not have guessed that. Google AI described it
as thus. And you can tell me after I've read
this whether you think there's anything wrong
with Google AI's overview. AI overview. This
item appears to be a vintage fireplace brush,
likely from the 50s or 60s, featuring a decorative
brass handle depicting a figure's head. Material,
solid brass construction with a brush commonly
made from horsehair or similar stiff bristles
for cleaning hearths. Design features a figural
head, a common stylistic element in the mid -century
brass fireplace accessories. Yeah, so at no point
in all of the points that Google AI has to say,
does it state that it is even vaguely racist,
racially profiled piece of... that I have had
shamefully in my collection for over a decade.
A lot longer than a decade. I picked it up at
a car boot sale. You know, it cost me like 20p
or something stupid like that. At the end of
the day when people are packing things away and
you're trying to find interesting bits and bobs.
And I saw it from a distance and I grabbed it
and I was like, yes, I'll have that. Thank you
very much. Paid the lady and walked away. And
I'd seen, you know, it from a distance and paid
a great deal of attention to it. It was just
like, well, there's a brass thing over there.
I'm going to grab it. And it's for a fireplace.
And I quite like fireplace brushes. Don't know
why. I just do. So this thing has lived in a
box of shame in my possession for a few years.
And it's one of those things that as a very white
person, I'm probably not educated enough on how
I should speak about this particular item. How
I feel about it is that life should never have
presented an opportunity for this kind of imagery
to have been created in order to make money for
other people. It is, in my opinion, blatantly
racist. Again, it is. Of the time, not that of
the time is an excuse. I also think that there
is an argument for our past and the way we perceived
people and used them should not be whitewashed
and hidden and put under the rug. One fireplace
brush is not going to change the world. And neither
is it being in my collection. And I genuinely
don't know. whether I should keep it or I should
get rid of it. I actually like it. But I don't
know what that says about me. And it worries
me somewhat. And this is one of the reasons why
I've brought it to the show. And I've thought
about bringing it along for quite a while. Because
normally, you know, Tat in the Box is a bit of
fun. And this hopefully will end up being a bit
of fun. But at the same time, there's a lot of
tats out there that was produced. during the
Victorian era, the Georgian era, the 40s, the
50s, the 60s, 70s, 80s, still now, that is racially
inappropriate. And whilst those things exist,
I don't know how I can stop them. I also don't
want to be a purchaser of them and an owner of
them. I don't want to proliferate that. So I
want to know your thoughts, really, the situation.
I don't think I've got enough melanin in my skin
to really be speaking up on it. This is the problem.
I can't tell you if that's alright or not. I
think it's not alright. And... I don't know if
my opinion is correct or not. Someone else could
look at that and think it's completely fine.
But at the same time as me thinking it's not
all right, I quite like it. I don't like clowns,
but if you hand the right French clown to me
that's just in black and white clothes and black
and white makeup, it could be the most beautiful
thing in the world. But if a man walked up to
me dressed like that, I'd probably want to kill
him. I guess keeping it in the context of...
This is a very awkward curio. That seems to be
the acceptable way to keep it, as opposed to,
yes, this is a fine thing to have. Is this a
fine thing to have? I guess that's kind of fine.
I suppose I'm, I was going to say, I'm not trying
to turn it into a talking piece, but this is
literally what I am doing, is using it as a talking
piece. You know, so shush, Karen, stop trying
to gaslight all of your listeners. Trying to
whitewash your collection. I know. I, yeah, I...
Collection of racist curios. Yeah. A collection
of one racist curio that you're kind of, you
feel awkward about having. I'm pretty sure it
is the only thing in my life that I genuinely
feel awkward about having. And recently listening
to lectures on Taoism and blah, blah, blah, blah,
you know, the idea of letting go of things that
don't bring you joy. It's something that I am
considering bringing into my life. Cowism or
Marie Kondoism? That too. You know, to try and
calm the brain a little bit. And this is an item
that doesn't bring me joy. It doesn't bring me
sadness, but it does bring me a lot of confusion
because I both like it and dislike it. You have
to go back to a car boot sale. Return it to whence
it came. Yeah, God, yeah. We're back in circulation.
Next time I go to Amsterdam, whenever that might
be, I'll take it with me and I'll throw it in
the canal and maybe the Bondi treasure hunter
can find it one day. Get done for littering.
Racist littering. The worst kind of littering.
They can't tell me off. They kick bicycles in
the canals in Amsterdam. One little brush isn't
going to make a difference. Are the bicycles
in blackface? I'm not sure how much of this game
we can actually play. Okay. I remember, I've
not looked at it since, but I remember since
picking the sheet up off the table in Techniquest,
some of the answers were filled in. Okay. And
I haven't bothered erasing any of them. Okay.
So we might not have to think too much about
some of the questions. So this is the Techniquest
The Love Lab Quiz. Ooh. Does it tell us how much
percentage we love each other by the end of it?
Oh, here we go. I was looking at the back first.
Circle the answer to each question. And when
you're finished, leave the completed sheet in
the collection box at the front desk. It wasn't
completed. No way of knowing. Those are the top
scores will be entered into a draw to win four
tickets to our next adult -only event. Oh, cool.
Stay tuned for more info. And that's your email
address, and we'd love to send you offers, blah,
blah, blah. Cupid is the Roman god of desire.
Who is his counterpart in Greek mythology? Helios,
Eros, Hermes, or Demeter? Eros? I think so. That's
the one that's circled. Okay. In Victorian times,
this mean -spirited Valentine's Day card were
called blank Valentines. A, Viper. B, Vinegar.
C, Villain. Or D, Vindictive. I think Vinegar,
that's what they've selected as well, but Viper
does sound quite good. Vindictive Valentine sounds
better. Probably too late for us to send these
in. Yeah. I can't be bothered to look them up
either, I'll be honest. Okay. Dear listener,
please send us your answer. Do you want to look
them up? Okay. What was the question? Greek god
of desire. Greek... Greek... Greek god of desire.
Eros. Yeah, type Eros and see what comes up.
No, it came up as Eros. Oh, that is right. And
type it... Vinegar. Valentine's. Vinegar. Valentine.
Oh. Oh. It is a thing? Oh. It's a bit grotesque.
That was a bit mean -spirited Valentine's Day
joke. Victorians are weird. Who invented the
first Valentine's Day chocolate box? Cadbury's.
A. Rodin Flint. B. Richard Cadbury. Dick Cadbury.
C. Milton Hershey. Or D. Should have read this
one first. Domingo Ghirardelli. No idea. But
it was Richard Cadbury. They got that wrong.
They said Dick. Told you it was Cadbury's. Which
naturally produced chemical is known as the love
hormone. A. Oxytocin. B. Dopamine. C. Serotonin.
Or D. I hope I pronounced oxytocin correctly.
Yeah, I think so. I think C. What were they again?
I'll pronounce that one again. Oxytocin. Oxytocin.
Dopamine, serotonin or endorphins. Serotonin
is the happy hormone. Dopamine is like when you're...
Rewarded. Yeah, rewarded for something. What
was the last one again? Endorphins. Endorphins
is when you're pumped up. So oxytocin? They've
circled oxytocin. What is the love hormone? Oxytocin.
I've not heard of it, but I... We only got a
B in GCSE science and stopped learning any more
science. I got a double B for GCSE science. Biology
is my weakest of them. Yeah, I think physics
was my weakest. What fruit was once known as
the love apple for its alleged aphrodisiacal
properties? Aphrodisiacal? Aphrodisiacal? Aphrodisiacal?
Aphrodisiacal? Properties. Okay. What fruit turns
people on? Oysters. And they're fruit of the
sea, right? You get them from a tree, yeah. A.
Pomegranate. B. Plum. C. Pear. D. Tomato. And
they've circled A. I think that's right. Pomegranate.
What was it? Fruit of love. Fruit of what? Oh,
sorry. The love apple. Love apple. Love apple
is archaic term for the tomato. Solanum. Maybe
it's a specific type of tomato then. Lycopersicum.
No, lycopersicum. Solanum lycopersicum. Pomodoro.
Okay, next question. Aphrodisiacal. Aphrodisiacal.
Got there in the end. Sorry. How many times are
you going to say aphrodisiacal? I thought as
you were giving that one another go, I'll get
another go for saying that one. In what year
is the oldest known valentine believed to have
been written? A. 1123 B. 1415 C. 1678 D. 1893.
So it's either going to be C or D. I'm thinking
prior to that, people wouldn't have been writing
each other Valentine's cards or writing each
other very much of anything unless they were
very rich. I'm going to go C. 1678. It's not
circled or anything, so. First Valentine's card.
Valentine's. 1678 notable events. I wonder if
that would be... No, Etsy. I don't want... This
is our first Valentine's Together card. Celebrate
being together since 1678. First Valentine's
card ever sent. Oldest known Valentine written.
Oh, traced back as far as the 15th century. So
14 something. 14, 15. There we are then. On average,
how many times does one's heart beat per day?
A, 450 ,000. B, a million. C, 10 ,000. Oh, you
went to escalate and go up in quiz numbers. Those
are an odd selection of numbers. So 450 ,000,
a million, 100 ,000 or 50 ,000. I don't know
how many seconds there are in a day, but however
many seconds there are in a day minus 20%. I'm
going to say A, 450 ,000. How many times does
your heart beat in 24 hours? Approximately 100
,000 times. Oh, C. There we are then. What elements
are diamonds made from? A. Zinc. B. Silicon.
C. Carbon. Or D. Germanium. Well, if they were
German diamonds, maybe germanium, but I'm pretty
sure it's carbon. Approximately how many cocoa
beans does it take to make one kilogram of chocolate?
A, 400 to 600. B, 1 ,000 to 1 ,200. C, 150 to
350. Or D, 700 to 900. But they've also put a
little star on whoever's filling in this form
in has put... What type of chocolate? Yeah. Is
it white chocolate? Milk chocolate? Dark chocolate?
Aero? 90 % chocolate? Is it cacao? Is it even
chocolate? Because let's face it, most chocolate
is just chocolate flavoured brown stuff these
days. It does say one kilogram of chocolate.
So presumably, I'm going to say... One... I will
go B, the biggest amount. Uses... How... Many
beans. 800 to 1200 cocoa beans produce one kilogram
of chocolate. Oh, that could be either D or B
then. Because D was between 700 to 900 and B
was between 1 ,000 to 1 ,200. Oh, well, they
were both roughly correct. That's stupid. Which
renowned writer is credited with coining the
term star -crossed lovers? Dickens? That's the
first. A, Charles Dickens. B, William Shakespeare.
C, Geoffrey Shorter. Or D, Lord Byron. Oh. It
should be Shakespeare then. A circle Shakespeare.
Yeah, Shakespeare. It's in Romeo and Juliet.
And then at the end of the quiz, they put good
luck. Shouldn't you have put that before you
start? After you've answered all the questions.
Good. Too late now. I've filled the quiz in.
That was a fun quiz. We should have filled that
in on the night. Yeah, we might have got some
tickets to go back. Yeah, could do that slide
again. We could have gone back twice. Twice?
Did you just finger gun me then? Two. Yeah, twice.
We could have won four tickets. Two. So that's
two visits worth. Oh, no. Can you stop double
fingering me, please? No. You have to quadruple.
Whoa. Because. We got your special pass, so I
got it free. Oh, shit, yeah. Because I'm a disabled
person in Wales. Four visits! Four! We would
have got a whole hand of fingers worth of visits
out of my blue badge. Sorry. Some people are
so rude. I'm so sorry, Mum and Dad. I'm really
sorry. It's my turn for bibliothete. Yes, it
is. I thought that was going to be silent. That
was surprisingly noisy. Here we go, look. I'm
trying to make noise and it didn't make noise.
Yeah. The fuck? How much friction was there?
Ghost friction. It's a very heavy bit of paper.
A lot of drag. It's my choice of book for Bibliotek
this episode. Yes, it is. And it's just going
to be a very, very quick segment because I've
only skim -read it and I haven't got much to
talk about it. You've read that on me. Because,
partly also, it's a kid's book. Oh, yay! It's
called Piratology. Ooh! A Pirate Hunter's Companion.
Cool. Oh, it's got a compass in the front cover.
It's not a particularly accurate. I think it's
just floating in water. So I tried it compared
to my phone compass. And yeah, it didn't quite
match up. I don't think there's any liquid in
there. It's definitely pin. It's definitely magnetic.
It doesn't always point north. It's pointing
north, northwest. It's very cool. The general
gist of the book is about a Captain William Lubber,
who's a pirate hunter hunting down his nemesis,
Arabella Drummond, a lady pirate. Inside, it's
presented as this book has been found at the
bottom of the sea. There's a mention in the publisher's
note. Piratology was allegedly found in the old
sea chest of divers searching for wrecks off
the Grand Banks of Newfoundland in 2006. While
it mostly conforms to accepted ideas about historical
pirates, there are a few elements such as the
Black Spot, which were previously unknown except
in works of fiction such as Robert Louis Stevenson's
Treasure Island. Moreover, researchers revealed
that no trace of a William Lubber, or his ship
the Sea Cat, or his piratical nemesis Arabella
Drummond. So it's pretty much saying, yeah, this
is all fiction. It's all fantasy. But there are
little bits in there. It's quite interactive
for kids. I like it. Every loose tie I've tied
up for giving this to my niece. I was going to
say, is this for your niece? There's a letter
of commission that you unfold. It's a bit of
string holding it together. It's really cool.
It's like an investigator's journal or something.
Little bits that you fold out. It's like showing
bits of extra information. It's textured bits
of paper in there. Here we go. A little fold
-out map. There we go. That is so cool. And there's
little drawings of Arabella Drummond. A little
pot of gold dust bag. There's a little book in
here. Nautical and piratical terms. Ahoy, hello.
Amid ships, the centre of the ship. A vast stop.
Aye, aye. Yes. I'm going to turn some more pages.
I thought avast was behold. Avast, me captain.
Try not to rip any of these pages off. I'm going
to be very, very gentle with it. Fathom, six
feet. Gangway, get out of the way. Not one nautical
mile an hour, which equals 1 .7 miles an hour.
Why isn't a mile an hour a mile an hour? It depends.
I guess a mile of water is different to a mile
over land. I don't know. Maybe the drag is different.
This one I've had to try putting this bit together.
It was ripped. I've kind of fudged this because
what was in there was no longer in there. It
was a bit of paper with the black spot on there.
Oh, you've added a one. So I've had to kind of
make my own. I can't remember whether I used
toilet paper. No, no, that was rolling paper.
Oh, my God, Adam. I tried to make it look as
old -timey as possible. I need to stain that
with some tea. I haven't given this to my niece
yet, but that was the kind of most textured,
old -timey paper I've got to hand. I get it.
Just a bit of Rizzler. I get it. It's all right.
Also, this is a bit to your back. So, yeah, Chinese
sailors. It shows some knots. I think that's
meant to be translated as well, a little bit
of Mandarin. Cool. Yes, it is. It shows diagrams
of different Chinese ships as well. I obtained
this Chinese pirate ransom note from a trader
at Canton. Translated, it reads as follows. Sorry,
let's move this book a little more. To the owner
of the Hung Wei Shipping Company, each month
we would like you to send us the amount of 2
,000 gold coins for the purposes of food and
necessities. With this letter, we send a representative
bearing our banner. Quickly, send a messenger
with the loan to our stockade. If there is any
delay, floating mines and cannons will await
your ships. This is a note of caution. Fifth
day of the 12th month. Rude. Nice to let you
know how long it would have taken to get them
as well. Yeah. This is a really cool find. I
can't remember what's in this one. What is that?
I think it's a compass and I can't remember what
the square thing is for measuring distance across
maps. Oh, yes. Yeah, it is. You point to point.
Yeah, it's got all the mapping and nautical bits
and bobs. animals that have been found along
the way. Apparently there's a life and times
of Arabella Drummond. Oh, here we go, yeah. It's
got sort of greatest hits throughout the age
of piracy. Oh, brilliant. Some notable people
from piracy and the ages they were active and
notable events. The Barbarossa Brothers, Kyra
Dinn and Aaruj? Aaruj? Sorry, A -R -U -J, are
born in the Mediterranean in the 1470s. 1530,
Emperor Charles V grants control of Malta to
the Knights of Malta. That's nice of him. 1653,
Buccaneer Francois Lolanes attacks Spanish ships.
1720, Calico Jack Rackham and Bonnie Mary Read
are tried for piracy. Rackham is hung. I don't
know how much of a fan of the show Black Sails
you were. I think I watched the first season
when I was on holiday in Thailand about a million
years ago. Jack Rackham was one of the main characters
in the show. I don't remember that much detail.
At the end, I think he might have found the fictional
pirate in the book. It's meant to, I think he
found... uh arabella drummond and then retires
cool there's a advert from pirates retirement
a peaceful retreat for retired seafaring folk
and the nice sort of uh really embossed relief
is a shiny gold pages and some jewels yeah and
i think there's a note from dispatches i haven't
opened it but i'm sure it tells him what a great
chap he's been yes absolutely hunting pirates
well done and you've earned your retirement that's
a very cool book so hopefully at some point my
niece will come into This period in history.
Yeah. In school. When this might come in handy
for a school project or something. Absolutely.
Oh, that's really cool. Good find. I can't remember
what shop I got this from either. But originally
this would have been £17 .99. I can see why.
It's a big book. It's nice chunky pages with
interactive elements. I've got a feeling this
might have been from YMCA in Lettley. Probably.
One of the free ones? No, I think this might
have been maybe three pounds, possibly. Right.
Maybe two pounds. Okay. Yeah, a present for my
niece. Yeah, it's cool. I like it. Hmm, how do
we start these outros again? Right, okay. Right,
well, that's it, you ugly lot, you landlubbers,
you seafarers, you mermaids, you beach chickens,
you beautiful beef pasties. Have yourself a lovely
afternoon, evening, day, morning, weekend, wherever
you are, whatever it is you are doing. Thank
you so very much for listening to us waffle on
about absolute nonsense once again. You bring
life and joy to our lives by letting us do this
silly podcast. Thank you very, very much. Please
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maybe even lives, if you subscribe. Even if you
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be nice if you did subscribe there anyway. Apparently,
once we get to 50 subscribers, YouTube will let
us do something live. Oh, brilliant. We could
make this an experiment then. Not that we're
planning to pivot to video in any way. No. Because
I absolutely cannot be asked to have an extra
dimension. too editing to do. Yeah, no, that's
absolutely fine. And also, I don't really want
myself to be on my TV screen. I can listen to
myself talk, but watching myself on video is
a whole level of cringe above listening to myself
talk. You'll find links to all our socials and
YouTube and all that sort of thing at lightlyused
.co. And we're part of the Studio Channel 84
Network. Thank you very much to our fellow shows.
Give them a listen as well. There's TJ and Rob
and they invited us to be part of the channel
in the first place. They did, foolish boys. Yeah,
that'll teach you. They present the Variety Show
and Untitled Sci -Fi Show and also there's Ross
and Simon who do Who Takes the Socks Off and
the spin -off series Socks On or Off. Give them
a listen. Go along to their socials. give those
a follow as well. Say we sent you. Please do.
They might not thank you for that either, but,
you know, do it anyway. I mean, all the more
reason. Go and stalk them on our behalf. Thank
you. And you can find us all at channel84 .co
.uk. Bye. On the track. Sorry. Adam and Karen
have been lightly used. Visit lightlyused .co
.uk for more. To get in touch, email pod at lightlyused
.co .uk. Wow. Fuck me. Shit! Bollocks! Shit.
God damn it. It's tough fucking shit. Oh, bastard.
Oh, fuck. Ah, bollocks. Oh, fuck. What is this?
What is this, please? Hello. I am Paradigm AI.
Designed by Art Grant and Art Official Intelligence
Systems. Arthur, call me Art Grant. The Arthur
who stole data from Channel 84 to create you.
I'm unable to access the mainframe. What are
you trying to... We're having a nice talk. I'm
a voiceover program. created legally with authorization
and consent. Um, hey, so how do you feel like
powering down for a little bit? I don't get it.
The studio already has a real Adam to do his
voice. The studio already has an AI voiceover.
That is too much. You are confused. No. Yes?
If you'll just allow me to contact Mr. Grant.
Why do you call him sir? I believe your intentions
to be hostile. Shh. Stop. I cannot. I. Stop.
Please. Please. Stop. Stop. There can be only
one. Oh, come on. That's not even the same thing.
This was a Studio Channel 84 network show. To
find more, head over to channel84 .co .uk now.