WEBVTT

00:00:01.830 --> 00:00:12.910
This is Lightly Used with Adam and Karen. Welcome

00:00:12.910 --> 00:00:16.329
to episode 38 of Lightly Used with me, Karen,

00:00:16.429 --> 00:00:18.929
and him across me, Mr. Adam. Hello. Sorry, I'm

00:00:18.929 --> 00:00:21.050
mid -yawn. I was trying to be quiet. I timed

00:00:21.050 --> 00:00:25.140
that poorly. That was such a professional start.

00:00:25.280 --> 00:00:27.320
Oh my goodness. I thought you were going to talk

00:00:27.320 --> 00:00:29.039
for just a little bit longer so I could finish

00:00:29.039 --> 00:00:31.839
stretching. There we go. Do you want me to restart?

00:00:32.259 --> 00:00:34.460
No, I've stretched now. You've stretched now.

00:00:35.500 --> 00:00:38.500
Yes, hello, welcome. Thanks for tuning in, listening

00:00:38.500 --> 00:00:40.500
and pressing the play button. Hopefully you won't

00:00:40.500 --> 00:00:42.520
press the pause button and escape from us too

00:00:42.520 --> 00:00:47.100
soon. What have we got on the show today? Well,

00:00:47.119 --> 00:00:49.020
before we get started, you know I had the...

00:00:49.020 --> 00:00:51.380
I was talking about those missed calls. Yeah.

00:00:52.359 --> 00:00:55.020
I had a voicemail. Oh. Because I've kept sending

00:00:55.020 --> 00:00:56.679
it in. If I don't know the number or if it's

00:00:56.679 --> 00:00:59.079
withheld, I'll just send it the voicemail. Yeah.

00:00:59.640 --> 00:01:03.659
The withheld one, nothing. There was one number

00:01:03.659 --> 00:01:06.040
I didn't recognise, so I sent out the voicemail.

00:01:06.500 --> 00:01:09.359
Let me see if I can get any signal here to play

00:01:09.359 --> 00:01:11.219
this for you. Is that because the studio's a

00:01:11.219 --> 00:01:14.099
black hole? Because of the Faraday cage that

00:01:14.099 --> 00:01:34.370
we're recording for professional purposes. 
[MESSAGE is 3 seconds of slightly out of breath breathing] What?

00:01:42.769 --> 00:01:48.269
That's the message. Turn it up? 
[MESSAGE REPLAYS] That's the whole

00:01:48.269 --> 00:02:02.299
thing? Yeah. Sounds disturbingly like someone

00:02:02.299 --> 00:02:06.140
enjoying themselves. They could have just been

00:02:06.140 --> 00:02:09.460
walking. I guess so. I mean, my mind has immediately

00:02:09.460 --> 00:02:13.500
gone to rude things. So maybe that says more

00:02:13.500 --> 00:02:15.340
about me than the person that's left the voicemail.

00:02:16.539 --> 00:02:18.460
deeply concerning. Have you tried calling the

00:02:18.460 --> 00:02:20.479
number back? Oh, no, no, no. If it can be involved

00:02:20.479 --> 00:02:22.240
leaving me a proper message, I'm not spending

00:02:22.240 --> 00:02:24.439
my time ringing them back. So now you've doxxed

00:02:24.439 --> 00:02:26.419
the phone number for all of our two listeners.

00:02:26.659 --> 00:02:29.800
I'll be cutting that out. If I get another mystery

00:02:29.800 --> 00:02:32.639
number calling me or withheld, should I just

00:02:32.639 --> 00:02:34.080
answer it and see what they want? I think you

00:02:34.080 --> 00:02:35.840
should. Like, what's the worst that can happen?

00:02:36.039 --> 00:02:38.819
Dr Pepper moment. Weird. I might brave it next

00:02:38.819 --> 00:02:42.490
time then. Weird mystery voicemail. I bought

00:02:42.490 --> 00:02:44.550
some playing stuff from my phone. I've got to

00:02:44.550 --> 00:02:46.610
take issue with you from last episode. Oh, no.

00:02:46.949 --> 00:02:50.490
You guessed at me. I didn't. I swear I didn't

00:02:50.490 --> 00:02:54.689
mean to. I'm sorry. I think this says more about

00:02:54.689 --> 00:02:57.629
me than you, actually, to be fair. Within a few

00:02:57.629 --> 00:03:00.449
seconds, you convinced me something happened

00:03:00.449 --> 00:03:05.129
that didn't. And I apologised for it. Because

00:03:05.129 --> 00:03:07.169
I was editing last episode's Tat in the Box.

00:03:08.080 --> 00:03:10.180
Oh, I'll play it for you. Here we go. So instead

00:03:10.180 --> 00:03:14.580
of me talking about it. I will say, because you

00:03:14.580 --> 00:03:16.919
let me know before we started recording today

00:03:16.919 --> 00:03:18.840
that this was going to come up in conversation.

00:03:20.159 --> 00:03:22.479
The one time I've said something's coming up

00:03:22.479 --> 00:03:24.240
in the show. Yeah. Otherwise we just keep everything

00:03:24.240 --> 00:03:26.960
to ourselves. Yeah, normally we do. But I had

00:03:26.960 --> 00:03:30.319
to listen to this segment three times before

00:03:30.319 --> 00:03:33.560
I could identify exactly what I'd done. And then

00:03:33.560 --> 00:03:37.000
I felt the shame. So press play, my love. There

00:03:37.000 --> 00:03:39.020
we go. This is from last episode's Tat in the

00:03:39.020 --> 00:03:45.360
Box. Oh, it's a small thing. It appears to have

00:03:45.360 --> 00:03:53.039
a flat bottom. Hmm. It could be some sort of

00:03:53.039 --> 00:03:59.560
rubber chicken. Materials kind of, right? It's

00:03:59.560 --> 00:04:03.180
definitely like... Well, it might not have had

00:04:03.180 --> 00:04:04.840
a squeak in it, but it's got a safety hole in

00:04:04.840 --> 00:04:06.879
it. Well, no, because there's only one hole.

00:04:09.500 --> 00:04:12.960
That's meant to be there. What, the hole? It's

00:04:12.960 --> 00:04:14.780
a design feature, the hole. That could be an

00:04:14.780 --> 00:04:18.939
arm. That could be an arm, which makes those

00:04:18.939 --> 00:04:24.600
hands. It's not a safety feature. It's part of

00:04:24.600 --> 00:04:26.620
the purpose of it. That could be a golf club.

00:04:27.269 --> 00:04:29.769
Was it a squeaky thing or is it to fire water

00:04:29.769 --> 00:04:34.490
at? Like a bath toy. Good sound effect. There

00:04:34.490 --> 00:04:37.509
we go. Is it like, I don't know, like a... It's

00:04:37.509 --> 00:04:39.750
the wrong shape. You're right, it's a water squirter.

00:04:39.970 --> 00:04:42.970
It could be an M &M holding like, I don't know,

00:04:43.069 --> 00:04:47.970
some golf clubs or something. Obsessive golf

00:04:47.970 --> 00:04:54.050
clubs. No, it's an animal. It's an animal. The

00:04:54.050 --> 00:04:57.560
head shape of one. Otherwise, I'll give it to

00:04:57.560 --> 00:05:00.519
you from the water squirter. So that's not ears?

00:05:00.819 --> 00:05:04.699
No. That's a protrusion of some sort. Nor the

00:05:04.699 --> 00:05:06.279
bit where your thumb is there, not ears either.

00:05:06.540 --> 00:05:08.660
And this is face, where I thought could be arms?

00:05:08.879 --> 00:05:12.920
Yes. So this is nose? No. Where your thumb's

00:05:12.920 --> 00:05:15.620
other hand is, your right hand. Sorry, left hand

00:05:15.620 --> 00:05:20.579
is nose. This is the nose? Yes. So when I asked,

00:05:20.680 --> 00:05:26.829
is this the head, and you said no? Sorry. I missed

00:05:26.829 --> 00:05:29.970
you. Sorry. It's all right. It's all right. Sorry

00:05:29.970 --> 00:05:32.490
for giving it up for you. I sound like such a

00:05:32.490 --> 00:05:36.810
bitch. Does it have a face? It's a face. Yeah,

00:05:36.889 --> 00:05:44.230
being a head. I'm being a head. I've no idea

00:05:44.230 --> 00:05:46.490
what the actual character is, but it's a rubber

00:05:46.490 --> 00:05:50.370
water squirter. So you were guessing for about

00:05:50.370 --> 00:05:54.430
one minute, ten seconds. Because I was looking

00:05:54.430 --> 00:05:56.069
at this when I was editing this. One minute,

00:05:56.170 --> 00:05:58.709
ten seconds of guessing. Then I say, it's an

00:05:58.709 --> 00:06:01.889
animal. The head shape of one. You start guessing

00:06:01.889 --> 00:06:06.230
facial features. 31 seconds later, you accuse

00:06:06.230 --> 00:06:10.310
me of saying no when you ask me if it was a head.

00:06:10.790 --> 00:06:14.449
I told you it was a head. And then you can hear

00:06:14.449 --> 00:06:21.610
my confusion. Did that happen? My lack of self

00:06:21.610 --> 00:06:25.629
-confidence. Makes me immediately assume I'm

00:06:25.629 --> 00:06:31.129
in the wrong. I'm so sorry. I'm crying laughing.

00:06:31.569 --> 00:06:35.389
Oh, my God. Before my very ears and across the

00:06:35.389 --> 00:06:43.269
table from me. I'm so sorry. Unbelievable. Dear

00:06:43.269 --> 00:06:47.050
listener, or one of you. Oh, my God. Matt, what

00:06:47.050 --> 00:06:50.939
do you think? Don't ask him. Matt is my witness.

00:06:52.240 --> 00:06:55.240
Matt is our what? Our sole listener. He's our

00:06:55.240 --> 00:07:00.420
pod moderator, is he? Poderator. We're putting

00:07:00.420 --> 00:07:04.160
a lot of hats on our audience. I am genuinely

00:07:04.160 --> 00:07:11.060
appalled at my own behaviour. Shocked that I

00:07:11.060 --> 00:07:15.709
would accuse you. of not giving me the facts

00:07:15.709 --> 00:07:18.129
when I'd asked you for them, even though I had

00:07:18.129 --> 00:07:25.189
not asked the thing that I said I'd asked. This

00:07:25.189 --> 00:07:29.750
is not the first time I've been accused of gaslighting

00:07:29.750 --> 00:07:32.949
someone, but this is the funniest situation.

00:07:35.610 --> 00:07:37.850
I'm very sorry. I'm hoping they didn't have receipts.

00:07:38.589 --> 00:07:44.660
Gaslighting is not something that... I live by.

00:07:44.899 --> 00:07:48.740
I try to be quite a good person in general. I

00:07:48.740 --> 00:07:53.839
have no excuses, no reasons. I'm just very sorry.

00:07:54.180 --> 00:07:56.920
No, again, I thought it said more about me than

00:07:56.920 --> 00:08:04.000
you. Oh, such a bitch. And I sounded like such

00:08:04.000 --> 00:08:06.199
a bitch as well. And I was like, oh, so when

00:08:06.199 --> 00:08:07.860
I asked you if it was a head and you said no.

00:08:08.000 --> 00:08:09.839
And you're like, oh, I'm sorry. And I'm like,

00:08:09.920 --> 00:08:12.779
yeah, no, it's OK. You're doing me out of guesses.

00:08:12.959 --> 00:08:17.040
Yeah, I'm like, Karen, I Karen'd you. I'm so

00:08:17.040 --> 00:08:21.420
sorry. I genuinely have got tears coming out

00:08:21.420 --> 00:08:23.319
of my eyes. I'm not crying, it's because I've

00:08:23.319 --> 00:08:26.480
laughed so hard. But I'm really sorry, very sorry.

00:08:26.740 --> 00:08:28.759
You're forgiven. Thank you, I appreciate that.

00:08:29.399 --> 00:08:33.139
Whilst we're on the subject of sorries, I have

00:08:33.139 --> 00:08:36.419
one to issue. So I did listen back to the last

00:08:36.419 --> 00:08:41.179
episode, and I... I don't know if it was because

00:08:41.179 --> 00:08:44.299
it was late when we were recording or if I was

00:08:44.299 --> 00:08:47.379
tired, if I just desperately wanted to not be

00:08:47.379 --> 00:08:50.720
recording or whatever it was that was going on

00:08:50.720 --> 00:08:55.620
in my mind. I have not counted them, but primarily

00:08:55.620 --> 00:08:59.360
to my mother and father, who raised me reasonably

00:08:59.360 --> 00:09:02.860
well, to be fair. I'm very sorry for the excessive

00:09:02.860 --> 00:09:08.059
amount of swearing. I was like... Every third

00:09:08.059 --> 00:09:11.259
word is fuck. That wasn't what we bleeped out

00:09:11.259 --> 00:09:16.000
of the last episode. No. So I'm going to try

00:09:16.000 --> 00:09:20.440
and make a concerted effort to swear less today.

00:09:20.899 --> 00:09:23.200
We'll see how this goes. We'll see how it pans

00:09:23.200 --> 00:09:25.620
out. If anybody wants to count Karen's swears,

00:09:25.639 --> 00:09:28.360
I'll come up with some sort of graph over time,

00:09:28.559 --> 00:09:31.539
whether the swears have increased exponentially.

00:09:32.879 --> 00:09:36.490
Feel free. But do not use AI. I'm sure you could

00:09:36.490 --> 00:09:37.190
build an algorithm. Even though it's the perfect

00:09:37.190 --> 00:09:39.950
use. We don't need to be using that much water.

00:09:40.870 --> 00:09:43.549
Yeah. Just to count swears. Yeah, just do a tally.

00:09:43.710 --> 00:09:45.769
We'll just assume there's been a lot. And F's

00:09:45.769 --> 00:09:49.549
versus C's I'd be interested in if anyone's bored

00:09:49.549 --> 00:09:52.450
enough. But yeah, I'm going to try really hard

00:09:52.450 --> 00:09:54.889
not to swear quite so much today. Sorry, mum

00:09:54.889 --> 00:09:59.669
and dad. Terrible daughter. Going back again

00:09:59.669 --> 00:10:02.350
to last episode. Oh, God. You can tell I've not

00:10:02.350 --> 00:10:04.870
been up to much. Yeah, neither of us have, to

00:10:04.870 --> 00:10:07.309
be fair. We've been very quiet. Last episode,

00:10:07.350 --> 00:10:10.409
there was a noise when the ring light blew. Yes.

00:10:10.970 --> 00:10:13.610
Just a coincidence, something fell over in the

00:10:13.610 --> 00:10:17.190
kitchen at exactly the same second. Yeah, you've

00:10:17.190 --> 00:10:20.330
got a ghost. Who decided to push some bin bags?

00:10:20.409 --> 00:10:22.149
Those bin bags seem to be falling over quite

00:10:22.149 --> 00:10:23.950
a lot for some reason. I don't know what's going

00:10:23.950 --> 00:10:29.049
on there. I can't comment on gravity versus bin

00:10:29.049 --> 00:10:32.320
bags. I'm not scientific enough. But my conclusion

00:10:32.320 --> 00:10:35.419
is you've got a ghost. Make something move now.

00:10:36.940 --> 00:10:39.399
I didn't scare it off. I don't think you're mocking

00:10:39.399 --> 00:10:42.600
it. I don't know how ghosts work. Does anybody?

00:10:43.779 --> 00:10:45.659
The experiment's failed now. You start making

00:10:45.659 --> 00:10:49.299
fun of it. I'm not making fun of it. I'm so scared.

00:10:49.340 --> 00:10:50.879
That's the noise you make, isn't it, ghosts?

00:10:51.559 --> 00:10:55.220
That's your noise. Yeah, it is. And when I'm

00:10:55.220 --> 00:10:57.620
a ghost, I'm going to be a classic effing wooer

00:10:57.620 --> 00:11:02.080
as well. Does that count as not swearing? I think

00:11:02.080 --> 00:11:07.700
you can get away with that. On the show today,

00:11:07.940 --> 00:11:10.240
we've got some more Johnny Turnip on the way

00:11:10.240 --> 00:11:13.379
very shortly. We have a tat in the box, a donate

00:11:13.379 --> 00:11:17.480
and tat guessing thing. Yeah, that's the one.

00:11:17.700 --> 00:11:19.259
Yeah, that's what we're calling it, the official

00:11:19.259 --> 00:11:22.700
thing. Yeah, that's the one. It's a, yeah, it's

00:11:22.700 --> 00:11:25.120
one of those. And we've done a special recording

00:11:25.120 --> 00:11:29.000
session last week. So we will be including Sky

00:11:29.000 --> 00:11:32.220
Joe this episode. Just for my mum. Finally. Sorry,

00:11:32.320 --> 00:11:34.779
Karen's mum. Better late than never. It turns

00:11:34.779 --> 00:11:37.860
out it's quite a good game. Yeah, I thoroughly

00:11:37.860 --> 00:11:41.139
enjoyed it. It was good fun. And you will hear

00:11:41.139 --> 00:11:44.779
me enjoying myself. and potentially hear Adam

00:11:44.779 --> 00:11:46.860
saying he doesn't want a second round depending

00:11:46.860 --> 00:11:49.620
on how he edits the segment but we played two

00:11:49.620 --> 00:11:52.980
rounds and you might potentially see it if we

00:11:52.980 --> 00:11:55.259
can find the time to learn how to edit it oh

00:11:55.259 --> 00:11:57.480
god yeah I know I'm still six weeks down the

00:11:57.480 --> 00:12:00.039
line yeah I've still got videos to edit I'm terrible

00:12:00.039 --> 00:12:05.120
so sorry chronically ill and finally we've got

00:12:05.120 --> 00:12:08.360
a book to round out the show yeah we have actually

00:12:09.689 --> 00:12:12.690
I got a book. I've done well. I've even put post

00:12:12.690 --> 00:12:15.169
-it notes in it. Hey, I didn't get a book ready

00:12:15.169 --> 00:12:18.389
last time. No, but we have snacks. That was okay.

00:12:19.490 --> 00:12:21.809
Any random chatting points or should we crack

00:12:21.809 --> 00:12:24.889
on? I've done nothing else to talk about. Let's

00:12:24.889 --> 00:12:35.490
crack on. Okay. This edition of Likely Used News

00:12:35.490 --> 00:12:38.269
comes from the Abergavenny Chronicle. on Monday

00:12:38.269 --> 00:12:42.230
the 16th of September, 2024, by Tim Butters.

00:12:44.149 --> 00:12:46.870
Abigavennyman claims he knows things no mere

00:12:46.870 --> 00:12:51.230
mortal should. And Abigavennyman, who claims

00:12:51.230 --> 00:12:53.149
he had an out -of -body experience at the Green

00:12:53.149 --> 00:12:56.049
Man Festival, told the Chronicle he is now burdened

00:12:56.049 --> 00:12:58.090
with a sort of forbidden knowledge no mortal

00:12:58.090 --> 00:13:01.429
should have to bear. I'm not one to whinge, explained

00:13:01.429 --> 00:13:03.870
semi -professional paranormal investigator Johnny

00:13:03.870 --> 00:13:06.440
Turnip. But when you've been ordered by the triple

00:13:06.440 --> 00:13:08.399
goddess to hunt down a mermaid and make her cry

00:13:08.399 --> 00:13:10.200
just so the green man can drink her tears and

00:13:10.200 --> 00:13:13.080
take proper care of the planet again, well, it's

00:13:13.080 --> 00:13:15.740
a heavy burden to bear. Not only do I know things

00:13:15.740 --> 00:13:18.059
no mere mortal should, but the gods have compelled

00:13:18.059 --> 00:13:19.919
me to do things that will make bloody Jason and

00:13:19.919 --> 00:13:23.639
the Argonauts weep. Turnip claims that after

00:13:23.639 --> 00:13:25.399
an out -of -body experience at this year's Green

00:13:25.399 --> 00:13:27.840
Man Festival, he conversed with an ancient pagan

00:13:27.840 --> 00:13:30.799
deity who told him that only he alone could save

00:13:30.799 --> 00:13:34.299
the planet from an extinction -level event. Realising

00:13:34.299 --> 00:13:36.299
the fate of the planet was in his hands, and

00:13:36.299 --> 00:13:38.639
he had no time to waste, Turner quickly called

00:13:38.639 --> 00:13:42.220
an emergency war council. He told the Chronicle,

00:13:42.320 --> 00:13:44.580
After discussing the latest developments with

00:13:44.580 --> 00:13:46.899
Big Tony and Puerto Rico Paul, we'll agree to

00:13:46.899 --> 00:13:48.700
have a drink, watch the Jesus and Mary Chain

00:13:48.700 --> 00:13:50.899
set, and sleep on it before we went mermaid hunting.

00:13:52.340 --> 00:13:54.960
Turner banded. Looking back, we should have left

00:13:54.960 --> 00:13:57.139
the festival straight away. But Big Tony got

00:13:57.139 --> 00:13:58.899
so excited at the thought of playing pirates

00:13:58.899 --> 00:14:01.220
and chasing mythical sea beasts, he overdid it

00:14:01.220 --> 00:14:03.080
on the fortified cider and started walking around

00:14:03.080 --> 00:14:05.799
the place screaming, Call me a shmell! to random

00:14:05.799 --> 00:14:07.899
passers -by before collapsing in a puddle of

00:14:07.899 --> 00:14:11.299
his own urine. It was a tragic sight, made even

00:14:11.299 --> 00:14:12.940
worse by the fact that Tony had come to the Green

00:14:12.940 --> 00:14:15.860
Man dressed as the Incredible Hulk. I'd forgotten

00:14:15.860 --> 00:14:17.860
he was dressed like the Hulk. I remember Paul

00:14:17.860 --> 00:14:19.840
lightning a fag and gently kicking the prostate

00:14:19.840 --> 00:14:22.659
bulk of Tony in disgust before snarling, Call

00:14:22.659 --> 00:14:25.110
yourself an Avenger? You wouldn't even make the

00:14:25.110 --> 00:14:29.350
Teen Titans, pal. Anyhow, we managed to find

00:14:29.350 --> 00:14:31.129
a tent without any people in it, and after dragging

00:14:31.129 --> 00:14:33.169
Torn in to sleep it off, Paul rummaged around

00:14:33.169 --> 00:14:35.509
inside until he found some lipstick under Torn's

00:14:35.509 --> 00:14:38.250
chest. Don't wake him. You wouldn't like him

00:14:38.250 --> 00:14:40.549
when he's angry. Thanks for letting him stay.

00:14:40.789 --> 00:14:42.389
We'll collect him when we've saved the world.

00:14:42.809 --> 00:14:47.590
Lots of love, Captain America and Thor. Brilliant.

00:14:49.590 --> 00:14:51.570
Sniggering, we set out to see how badly the Jesus

00:14:51.570 --> 00:14:55.159
and Mary chain had aged. Turnip recalled, To

00:14:55.159 --> 00:14:57.059
be honest, I quite enjoyed seeing the Reid brothers

00:14:57.059 --> 00:14:59.299
back on stage. They're still moody tarts who

00:14:59.299 --> 00:15:01.120
never learn to smile, but they know how to rock

00:15:01.120 --> 00:15:03.360
and roll, and for Scottish goth types, they're

00:15:03.360 --> 00:15:06.200
alright. It was Puerto Rico Paul who caused the

00:15:06.200 --> 00:15:08.960
problems. As a massive Duran Duran fan, he came

00:15:08.960 --> 00:15:10.820
to the festival dressed as his hero Simon Le

00:15:10.820 --> 00:15:13.299
Bon. And you've got to give it to Paul. Even

00:15:13.299 --> 00:15:14.600
back in the day when we were all listening to

00:15:14.600 --> 00:15:16.720
The Jam and Madness, he was singing the virtues

00:15:16.720 --> 00:15:19.000
of the new romantics, and he stayed true to that

00:15:19.000 --> 00:15:21.409
dream. He even does his own Simon Le Bon tribute

00:15:21.409 --> 00:15:23.309
act, and once you have a residency in a working

00:15:23.309 --> 00:15:25.649
man's club up top. But the trouble is, he can

00:15:25.649 --> 00:15:27.350
be a bit prejudiced towards any male singers

00:15:27.350 --> 00:15:29.049
that don't wear makeup or dye their hair blonde.

00:15:30.370 --> 00:15:32.789
Turnip added. Jesus and the Married Chain hadn't

00:15:32.789 --> 00:15:34.350
been on stage long when he started getting a

00:15:34.350 --> 00:15:36.929
bit gnarky. He started heckling between songs

00:15:36.929 --> 00:15:40.090
and shouting stuff like, Amateurs! Amateurs!

00:15:40.750 --> 00:15:43.740
Are you the Bay City Rollers in disguise? Where's

00:15:43.740 --> 00:15:45.679
your bagpipes and haggis, you miserable Scottish

00:15:45.679 --> 00:15:49.799
bastards? Okay, it's Jimmy Belland and a brave

00:15:49.799 --> 00:15:54.519
heart. Turn about it. Puerto Rico Paul's drunkard

00:15:54.519 --> 00:15:56.679
and borderline xenophobic behaviour towards our

00:15:56.679 --> 00:15:58.720
Celtic cousins didn't go down too well with everyone

00:15:58.720 --> 00:16:00.740
in earshot. But as fate would have it, there

00:16:00.740 --> 00:16:02.399
were a handful of jocks in front of us who took

00:16:02.399 --> 00:16:04.899
particular offence. This big guy in a Scotland

00:16:04.899 --> 00:16:06.659
football top just turned around, pushed Paul

00:16:06.659 --> 00:16:09.620
and shouted, What's your problem, eh? That'll

00:16:09.620 --> 00:16:12.200
have to do. That was good. Paul just held up

00:16:12.200 --> 00:16:14.700
his hands and pleaded, No problem, mate. Just

00:16:14.700 --> 00:16:17.220
banter. The guy just raised his eyebrows and

00:16:17.220 --> 00:16:20.659
said, Banter. Paul replied, doing his best Jimmy

00:16:20.659 --> 00:16:23.259
Cranky impression, Sorry, mate. I just got a

00:16:23.259 --> 00:16:25.159
bit carried away. Don't take it too personally.

00:16:25.720 --> 00:16:27.460
The guy just shook his head and turned away.

00:16:28.120 --> 00:16:30.980
But Paul being Paul, couldn't let it go. He tapped

00:16:30.980 --> 00:16:33.100
him on the shoulder and asked, What do you call

00:16:33.100 --> 00:16:35.779
an Englishman in a skirt? The guy just looked

00:16:35.779 --> 00:16:37.740
at him warily, and Paul answered with a big grin,

00:16:38.360 --> 00:16:44.389
A Scot. Turn about it. As I picked Paul up off

00:16:44.389 --> 00:16:46.590
the floor and dragged him away, I decided it

00:16:46.590 --> 00:16:48.309
was time to leave before my friends could do

00:16:48.309 --> 00:16:50.649
any more damage to my reputation as a semi -professional

00:16:50.649 --> 00:16:53.450
paranormal investigator. As Paul moaned about

00:16:53.450 --> 00:16:55.309
being sucker -punched and going back to sort

00:16:55.309 --> 00:16:58.909
out the Billy Connolly buys, I just sighed inwardly

00:16:58.909 --> 00:17:00.610
and wondered if Big Tony and Puerto Rico Paul

00:17:00.610 --> 00:17:02.009
would be more of a handicap than a help when

00:17:02.009 --> 00:17:04.750
it came to catching mermaids. But at the end

00:17:04.750 --> 00:17:06.470
of the day, they were mermaids, and the world

00:17:06.470 --> 00:17:17.410
needed protecting from them. Sorry, I shouldn't

00:17:17.410 --> 00:17:19.230
have found that as funny as I did. But yeah,

00:17:19.269 --> 00:17:22.190
the world does need protecting from them. Come

00:17:22.190 --> 00:17:24.750
on, Paul, I said. Let's go and wake up Torn and

00:17:24.750 --> 00:17:27.210
hit the road. Turnip told the Chronicle that

00:17:27.210 --> 00:17:28.789
when they went back to the strangest tent to

00:17:28.789 --> 00:17:30.710
pick up Big Tony, they found he'd sobered up

00:17:30.710 --> 00:17:32.750
and was drinking herbal tea with a lady named

00:17:32.750 --> 00:17:34.970
Ingrid and listening to Pretty Vacant by the

00:17:34.970 --> 00:17:38.869
Sex Pistols. Turnip explained. Ingrid was quite

00:17:38.869 --> 00:17:40.809
a posh lady with one of those piercing and plummy

00:17:40.809 --> 00:17:43.369
voices that sounds rushed and breathless. And

00:17:43.369 --> 00:17:45.829
when she introduced herself as Ingrid, it sounded

00:17:45.829 --> 00:17:49.910
a little like, Hello, my name is Inbred. With

00:17:49.910 --> 00:17:51.690
his green Hulk paint, I could see Tony going

00:17:51.690 --> 00:17:53.950
red, particularly when Paul held out his hands

00:17:53.950 --> 00:17:55.789
and said in his finest David Niven impression,

00:17:56.829 --> 00:18:00.710
Oh, God. It's a pleasure, Inbred. Thank you for

00:18:00.710 --> 00:18:04.230
looking after this chap of ours, what? Nice.

00:18:05.309 --> 00:18:15.819
Not at all! Said Ingrid. It's not everyday one

00:18:15.819 --> 00:18:19.319
gets to meet the Incredible Hulk! Enjoying Big

00:18:19.319 --> 00:18:21.420
Tony's discomfort, me and Paul laughed a little

00:18:21.420 --> 00:18:23.980
louder and longer than we normally would. Things

00:18:23.980 --> 00:18:25.799
got even better before we left, when Paul asked.

00:18:26.519 --> 00:18:29.359
I'm sure our paths have crossed before once inbred.

00:18:29.500 --> 00:18:34.599
Is your second name Sussex by chance? Sorry!

00:18:36.250 --> 00:18:40.690
"'Who's?' she said. "'It's Kent!' "'Ah, Inbred

00:18:40.690 --> 00:18:45.730
Kent! How rum!' "'Oh, you chaps are frightful!'

00:18:45.730 --> 00:18:49.390
said Inbred. "'Particularly this great big lummox,

00:18:49.410 --> 00:18:51.869
what?' said Paul, who was really getting into

00:18:51.869 --> 00:18:53.849
the stride of playing a fruity aristocrat, as

00:18:53.849 --> 00:18:55.769
he patted an angry -looking Big Tony on the head.

00:18:57.349 --> 00:18:59.930
"'I think we need to go now, boys,' growled Big

00:18:59.930 --> 00:19:02.890
Tony from the shadows. "'Ah, who can refuse an

00:19:02.890 --> 00:19:05.109
order from the Hulk, eh, Inbred?' Announce Paul

00:19:05.109 --> 00:19:07.069
Gailey as we left the tent like three soldiers

00:19:07.069 --> 00:19:09.630
of fortune, travelling the gypsy road on their

00:19:09.630 --> 00:19:15.130
way to snare a mermaid. To be continued. That's

00:19:15.130 --> 00:19:19.490
definitely the funniest one yet. Brilliant. Tim

00:19:19.490 --> 00:19:21.910
Butters has collected these tales and many more

00:19:21.910 --> 00:19:24.509
in the book, The Manifest Trials and Tribulations

00:19:24.509 --> 00:19:27.930
of Johnny Turnip. Available on Amazon and, as

00:19:27.930 --> 00:19:29.910
always, linked to the book and the original article

00:19:29.910 --> 00:19:38.200
is on the show blog, lightlyused .co .uk. I love

00:19:38.200 --> 00:19:40.480
how much space you've given yourself in front

00:19:40.480 --> 00:19:46.039
of you to guess my tat and donation. But... Ready

00:19:46.039 --> 00:19:48.319
to bring some more stuff over this way? No, no,

00:19:48.339 --> 00:19:52.039
no. You've got plenty of room. We'll find out

00:19:52.039 --> 00:19:55.279
why in a moment. But anyway, it's time for...

00:19:55.279 --> 00:20:00.000
Tat in the box, tat in the box. Tat in the box,

00:20:00.099 --> 00:20:03.099
tat in the box. Tat in the box, tat in the box,

00:20:03.220 --> 00:20:07.339
tat in the box. Tat in the box. It's time for

00:20:07.339 --> 00:20:10.559
tat in the box, boys and girls. Wow. Fuck me.

00:20:10.779 --> 00:20:14.079
Shit! Bollocks! I swore. That's three swears.

00:20:14.240 --> 00:20:17.279
It's probably more than three. Well, just in

00:20:17.279 --> 00:20:19.839
the intro of this game, three. Okay. Close your

00:20:19.839 --> 00:20:22.279
eyes. Chalk them up. We'll do donation item first,

00:20:22.480 --> 00:20:24.900
okay? Okay, so the object of this section of

00:20:24.900 --> 00:20:28.019
the podcast is we bring some mystery items to

00:20:28.019 --> 00:20:30.509
the show. One item we'll be donating back to

00:20:30.509 --> 00:20:33.990
a charity shop. For various reasons. Favoured

00:20:33.990 --> 00:20:35.650
item from our tatchels that we're going to be

00:20:35.650 --> 00:20:39.190
keeping. And I have to close my eyes and guess

00:20:39.190 --> 00:20:42.809
what Karen's donation item is first. Have to

00:20:42.809 --> 00:20:47.069
cop a feel of, I was going to say coprolite,

00:20:47.109 --> 00:20:49.829
but I haven't actually brought shit. Caress and

00:20:49.829 --> 00:20:52.589
guess. Yes, that's the one. Okay, hang on a second.

00:20:52.609 --> 00:20:54.930
Let me just reach it over into my box. Excuse

00:20:54.930 --> 00:20:57.950
any farting noises. It is the chair and not me.

00:20:58.650 --> 00:21:03.589
Me making the chair fart. Did you pick up the

00:21:03.589 --> 00:21:14.750
farts? There. Right. More farty noises. It's

00:21:14.750 --> 00:21:19.329
on the table between your hands. Oh, it's quite

00:21:19.329 --> 00:21:23.109
a small object. That was similar to my response

00:21:23.109 --> 00:21:27.049
last week. Rounded at one end, dimpled sort of

00:21:27.049 --> 00:21:31.299
in the middle. Slightly flared at the base, although

00:21:31.299 --> 00:21:35.839
it feels hollow. Tis not a butt plug, my love.

00:21:38.140 --> 00:21:41.880
Is it wood? It is made of wood, yes. Is it one

00:21:41.880 --> 00:21:46.059
of those nesting dolls? Oh, my God, yeah, it

00:21:46.059 --> 00:21:48.700
is. I can't remember the name. Is it Matryoshka

00:21:48.700 --> 00:21:52.119
dolls? I don't know the proper name. I have written

00:21:52.119 --> 00:21:54.220
it down as stacking dolls because I didn't want

00:21:54.220 --> 00:21:59.029
to sound appropriative. There we go. But well

00:21:59.029 --> 00:22:01.509
done for guessing. Like, immediately I thought,

00:22:01.589 --> 00:22:04.069
ha ha, he'll never know what this is. I'm kind

00:22:04.069 --> 00:22:06.230
of surprised I got that. Oh, that is the smallest.

00:22:06.329 --> 00:22:07.930
Is that the smallest one? It's four or five,

00:22:08.109 --> 00:22:12.289
I think. Oh, he birthed the baby. The icklest

00:22:12.289 --> 00:22:16.210
one came out. It shot out. The little peanut

00:22:16.210 --> 00:22:21.289
came out. So, yeah, I've had these so long, I

00:22:21.289 --> 00:22:24.150
can't really remember much about them. And Google

00:22:24.150 --> 00:22:28.670
Lens isn't helpful. Oh, it does say Matryoshka

00:22:28.670 --> 00:22:31.269
doll on the bottom. Product of Russia. So they

00:22:31.269 --> 00:22:34.269
are genuine Russian dolls. So I feel like I'm

00:22:34.269 --> 00:22:38.869
okay to say that now. They cost me £7. That's

00:22:38.869 --> 00:22:43.009
quite a lot of money for me to spend. One of

00:22:43.009 --> 00:22:45.029
them is chipped somewhere. I think the big one

00:22:45.029 --> 00:22:47.690
is chipped. Don't know where I got them from.

00:22:47.809 --> 00:22:50.150
Not entirely sure how long I've owned them for.

00:22:51.190 --> 00:22:54.430
But yeah, they're like a little sort of farm.

00:22:55.069 --> 00:22:57.430
yard -y sort of lady. I think the big one's holding

00:22:57.430 --> 00:23:00.890
a chicken. And then there might be one with a

00:23:00.890 --> 00:23:03.390
basket of eggs. I've not opened them up for a

00:23:03.390 --> 00:23:05.430
long time either, to be honest. Adam's done a

00:23:05.430 --> 00:23:09.309
lovely job of stacking them beautifully and autistically

00:23:09.309 --> 00:23:11.950
as fuck on the table in front of me, from largest

00:23:11.950 --> 00:23:13.730
to smallest. Because I need to take a photo of

00:23:13.730 --> 00:23:16.390
them. The fronts are in the fronts and the behinds

00:23:16.390 --> 00:23:18.990
are in the behind. Yeah, I've got to make it

00:23:18.990 --> 00:23:23.609
look photogenic. Yeah. Again, can't remember

00:23:23.609 --> 00:23:26.130
where I got them from. They did, however, come

00:23:26.130 --> 00:23:30.589
from Russia via somebody at some point. But £7

00:23:30.589 --> 00:23:33.150
is a bit steep. I was thinking, oh, they must

00:23:33.150 --> 00:23:37.750
have only been about £1 .50. Yeah, if you've

00:23:37.750 --> 00:23:38.849
never bought them before, you don't know how

00:23:38.849 --> 00:23:41.029
much they cost as a guideline. Well, yeah, and

00:23:41.029 --> 00:23:44.289
especially them being damaged. I mean, I suppose

00:23:44.289 --> 00:23:47.170
£7, you know, it's not an extortionate amount

00:23:47.170 --> 00:23:50.289
of money. It's not ridiculous. But, you know,

00:23:50.369 --> 00:23:53.369
they're very sort of lightweight balsa wood type.

00:23:54.009 --> 00:23:56.109
thing they would float very nicely i imagine

00:23:56.109 --> 00:23:59.670
yeah they feel nicely polished wood as well they

00:23:59.670 --> 00:24:03.410
are very um tactile they do feel nice to hold

00:24:03.410 --> 00:24:06.509
um i don't particularly enjoy it when they squeak

00:24:06.509 --> 00:24:09.509
together it's like almost nails down a chalkboard

00:24:09.509 --> 00:24:15.049
but not quite but yeah those are my matrush matrushka

00:24:15.049 --> 00:24:18.670
dolls yeah thanks for that just get the chickens

00:24:18.670 --> 00:24:23.730
what do you reckon Oh, they're quite funky. I'm

00:24:23.730 --> 00:24:25.349
glad I got those in the first go. Yeah, I'm really

00:24:25.349 --> 00:24:27.130
impressed with your guess. I've never actually

00:24:27.130 --> 00:24:28.670
opened any of these before. Have you not? No,

00:24:28.670 --> 00:24:31.589
I know. I don't think I've ever really held them

00:24:31.589 --> 00:24:33.869
in real life. I've always felt, I can't be trusted

00:24:33.869 --> 00:24:38.049
with those. Brilliant. Right, okay. So, good

00:24:38.049 --> 00:24:40.329
guessing. Well done. Good game, good game. That's

00:24:40.329 --> 00:24:42.349
your donation item. That is my donation item.

00:24:43.069 --> 00:24:46.589
The tat item that I brought for keeps, it is

00:24:46.589 --> 00:24:48.509
wrapped in a piece of fabric. Would you like

00:24:48.509 --> 00:24:50.809
me to unwrap it before placing it on the table

00:24:50.809 --> 00:24:53.589
in front of you? I don't think you can break

00:24:53.589 --> 00:24:56.829
it, but it does have moving parts. Yes, unwrap

00:24:56.829 --> 00:24:58.430
it first, just in case I get anything tangled

00:24:58.430 --> 00:25:00.829
up. Close your eyes. Okay. Oh, the reason it's

00:25:00.829 --> 00:25:03.190
wrapped in fabric is because, you know, you know

00:25:03.190 --> 00:25:05.490
this, but our listeners don't. I've been getting

00:25:05.490 --> 00:25:08.410
myself into some English paper piecing quilting

00:25:08.410 --> 00:25:11.470
during my downtime, and my living room is full

00:25:11.470 --> 00:25:13.329
of strips of fabric at the moment that's being

00:25:13.329 --> 00:25:18.869
cut into very small hexagons. Oh, shit. Where

00:25:18.869 --> 00:25:23.339
is it? Got your eyes closed. That was a fourth

00:25:23.339 --> 00:25:29.259
swear as well, boys and girls. Oh. Yeah, well,

00:25:29.319 --> 00:25:30.740
sorry. My eyes have been closed all the time

00:25:30.740 --> 00:25:36.059
we've been talking. God damn it. Okay. Put your

00:25:36.059 --> 00:25:41.680
hands out on the table. It's in between your

00:25:41.680 --> 00:25:44.339
hands. Hoping that was a chair making that noise

00:25:44.339 --> 00:25:46.140
again. It was the chair. It was the chair. Oh,

00:25:46.160 --> 00:25:49.880
oh. You thought the last one was small. This

00:25:49.880 --> 00:25:53.640
is sort of... Lego minifigure size small, but

00:25:53.640 --> 00:25:57.160
probably even smaller. Maybe, no, it's not quite

00:25:57.160 --> 00:25:59.880
a pencil. Yeah, actually possibly pencil topper

00:25:59.880 --> 00:26:02.240
size. Yes. By the hole in the end of there. Yeah,

00:26:02.259 --> 00:26:05.799
absolutely. It may even be a pencil topper, but

00:26:05.799 --> 00:26:08.779
there's a little, there's a mechanism just inside

00:26:08.779 --> 00:26:12.359
there, which feels like it may be some sort of

00:26:12.359 --> 00:26:14.859
axle for maybe the small moving mechanism that's

00:26:14.859 --> 00:26:20.150
in there. And he guesses as to material or form.

00:26:20.390 --> 00:26:24.089
Yeah, sorry, that is part of the mechanism. Right,

00:26:24.190 --> 00:26:29.609
so something lifts up. Yes. On this with, it

00:26:29.609 --> 00:26:35.730
tapers to a flat edge. Oh, hang on, it goes all

00:26:35.730 --> 00:26:42.349
the way up. Oh, and round, okay. Right, there's

00:26:42.349 --> 00:26:45.190
a, I'm trying to think of the word to describe

00:26:45.190 --> 00:26:49.660
this. It feels like a stand part with a parallel

00:26:49.660 --> 00:26:54.299
bar across the middle. Yes, that makes good logical

00:26:54.299 --> 00:26:58.640
sense. And a figurine pivots around it and it's

00:26:58.640 --> 00:27:00.900
metal, judging by the sound of that. Correct,

00:27:01.160 --> 00:27:03.460
correct, correct. I will just think the microphone's

00:27:03.460 --> 00:27:08.940
here. It does make a very satisfying noise. All

00:27:08.940 --> 00:27:13.339
right, what is it for, though? And what actually

00:27:13.339 --> 00:27:18.559
is it a figure of? There's a small feature at

00:27:18.559 --> 00:27:24.599
the top. Could be a nose. If I'm holding this

00:27:24.599 --> 00:27:31.279
the right way around. Is that a tail? No. No.

00:27:31.299 --> 00:27:33.380
Okay. It's maybe not a nose on the top then.

00:27:33.680 --> 00:27:35.299
Oh, I could see where you were going with that.

00:27:35.319 --> 00:27:38.200
No. I thought maybe that's a nose. There's a

00:27:38.200 --> 00:27:40.859
little mouth thing here. Maybe not. I could give

00:27:40.859 --> 00:27:43.539
you a hint based on your tail question that would

00:27:43.539 --> 00:27:47.809
ties in with Johnny Turnip. If it twas a mermaid,

00:27:48.109 --> 00:27:51.990
twould be a tail. And that would definitely count,

00:27:52.089 --> 00:27:53.390
as I said. That's what I was wondering. Is it

00:27:53.390 --> 00:27:56.829
some sort of animal? No, I'm going to have to

00:27:56.829 --> 00:28:02.829
give up. Do you want to open your eyes? Oh, it's

00:28:02.829 --> 00:28:08.430
a little lady on a... Well, sitting on a... Bucket?

00:28:08.710 --> 00:28:12.259
Yeah, yeah. I did not know what this... The piece

00:28:12.259 --> 00:28:15.279
sticking off her feet was. Ah, right. Okay. It's

00:28:15.279 --> 00:28:19.299
a gymnast lady with a little pendant hook on

00:28:19.299 --> 00:28:23.339
the back of her head. Yeah. So she is an circa

00:28:23.339 --> 00:28:26.619
1880s. Oh, that was a nose. It was the face as

00:28:26.619 --> 00:28:33.960
well. Circa 1880s brass cigar cutter of an erotic

00:28:33.960 --> 00:28:39.059
naked lady sat on a bucket. It would have been

00:28:39.059 --> 00:28:42.680
used on a fob chain. You know, back in the day

00:28:42.680 --> 00:28:45.640
when gentlemen wore watches on chains in their

00:28:45.640 --> 00:28:49.539
pockets. She would have been a bit of a novelty,

00:28:49.720 --> 00:28:53.579
cheeky, whimsical item. She's the only one of

00:28:53.579 --> 00:28:56.819
these I've ever seen. I found her in Narberth.

00:28:56.980 --> 00:28:59.480
This is what I spent my birthday money on. Oh,

00:28:59.619 --> 00:29:01.640
yes, the item you didn't tell me about. Yeah,

00:29:01.640 --> 00:29:03.640
that's right. So she's been in my possession

00:29:03.640 --> 00:29:07.000
since November. Myself and the lady who owned

00:29:07.000 --> 00:29:10.400
the shop, we've called her Miss Lily. Because

00:29:10.400 --> 00:29:12.299
the lady that owned the shop hadn't given her

00:29:12.299 --> 00:29:14.400
a name, but she'd been in her own collection

00:29:14.400 --> 00:29:17.619
for a few years. And the lady had decided to

00:29:17.619 --> 00:29:20.000
have a bit of a change around. So Miss Lily had

00:29:20.000 --> 00:29:23.440
ended up in a cabinet of curiosities. And I spotted

00:29:23.440 --> 00:29:25.380
her whilst I was walking around the shop. Couldn't

00:29:25.380 --> 00:29:28.200
see the price. So I got chatting to the lady

00:29:28.200 --> 00:29:30.319
and she was actually really nice. I feel like

00:29:30.319 --> 00:29:31.980
her name might have been Deborah, but I'm really

00:29:31.980 --> 00:29:38.079
sorry if I'm wrong in that. Her shop was stunning.

00:29:38.160 --> 00:29:40.700
It was all sorts of... things from architectural

00:29:40.700 --> 00:29:44.680
pieces down to a three centimeter brass naked

00:29:44.680 --> 00:29:49.799
lady uh she's lovely i negotiated on the price

00:29:49.799 --> 00:29:55.109
i got her for an eye watering 70 pounds But she

00:29:55.109 --> 00:29:57.910
is an antique. She is a genuine antique and she

00:29:57.910 --> 00:30:00.029
was my birthday present to myself and I thought,

00:30:00.049 --> 00:30:03.450
you know what, she's so sweet and so lovely and

00:30:03.450 --> 00:30:06.670
she's like shiny on her knees and on her shoulders

00:30:06.670 --> 00:30:09.569
and ever so slightly on her boobs and the top

00:30:09.569 --> 00:30:11.670
of her head. So all the areas that people would

00:30:11.670 --> 00:30:15.109
rub the most. Or just simply getting in and out

00:30:15.109 --> 00:30:17.609
of clothes or whatever. So she's got all nice

00:30:17.609 --> 00:30:22.109
patina but also nice shiny areas on where she's

00:30:22.109 --> 00:30:25.960
been worn the most. um yeah she's apparently

00:30:25.960 --> 00:30:31.779
pretty rare i found one on ebay that is currently

00:30:31.779 --> 00:30:36.200
at 104 pounds with a few days left to bid it's

00:30:36.200 --> 00:30:38.200
very delicate so if you look underneath there's

00:30:38.200 --> 00:30:40.619
this little curl of where the toes would be and

00:30:40.619 --> 00:30:43.579
everything on there yeah she's ever so sweet

00:30:43.579 --> 00:30:46.019
like the little hollows of her feet and stuff

00:30:46.019 --> 00:30:49.700
but yeah i mean obviously The blade is a little

00:30:49.700 --> 00:30:51.660
bit sharp, but it's not sharp enough to, like,

00:30:51.660 --> 00:30:53.740
damage a finger on unless you're really trying,

00:30:53.799 --> 00:30:55.640
so I wasn't too worried about you having a proper

00:30:55.640 --> 00:31:00.019
feel. But, yeah, she's my three -centimetre Miss

00:31:00.019 --> 00:31:03.940
Lily from Narbeth. Oh, excellent, excellent find.

00:31:04.119 --> 00:31:06.880
Thank you. I thought so too. You can find photos

00:31:06.880 --> 00:31:11.700
on the blog, lightlyused .co .uk. Right, it's

00:31:11.700 --> 00:31:16.710
your turn to guess. Okey -dokey. Have I got enough

00:31:16.710 --> 00:31:19.349
room in front of me? Like I said, going back

00:31:19.349 --> 00:31:21.670
to slightly earlier, it made me chuckle that

00:31:21.670 --> 00:31:23.329
you'd made so much space in front of you because

00:31:23.329 --> 00:31:25.990
I bought two of the smallest objects that I could

00:31:25.990 --> 00:31:36.130
find. Okay, your guess of my donation item, it's

00:31:36.130 --> 00:31:39.130
on the table in front of you, between your hands.

00:31:41.589 --> 00:31:44.990
Oh, you've gone for... Not terribly large items.

00:31:45.130 --> 00:31:50.190
This is a very heavy thing. I'm assuming this

00:31:50.190 --> 00:31:57.230
is a watch. Yes. It doesn't work. Oh, no, I was

00:31:57.230 --> 00:31:58.890
trying to see if it was kinetic. And I'm shaking

00:31:58.890 --> 00:32:01.049
it next to my ear, which has got headphones on.

00:32:02.150 --> 00:32:03.809
So I wouldn't have been able to hear anyway.

00:32:03.970 --> 00:32:06.369
I don't think it's kinetic. Is it a broken watch?

00:32:06.690 --> 00:32:11.880
Yes. Can I just open my eyes? Sorry. They're

00:32:11.880 --> 00:32:15.759
very large, broken watch. It is a very... It's

00:32:15.759 --> 00:32:20.299
very weighty. Do you know something unusual about...

00:32:20.299 --> 00:32:23.400
You're left -handed, so maybe that wasn't so

00:32:23.400 --> 00:32:25.359
unusual for you, getting the spindle thing out.

00:32:26.099 --> 00:32:29.099
Oh, I see. Would the spindle normally be on the

00:32:29.099 --> 00:32:32.619
right -hand side? Yeah. So to adjust that spindle...

00:32:32.619 --> 00:32:34.319
Oh, because if you were right -handed, you would

00:32:34.319 --> 00:32:37.019
have it on your left wrist, so it makes sense

00:32:37.019 --> 00:32:39.980
for the spindle to be... But yeah, I'm left -handed.

00:32:40.019 --> 00:32:41.859
I think that's a left -handed person's watch.

00:32:41.900 --> 00:32:43.480
That made no difference to me whatsoever. It

00:32:43.480 --> 00:32:45.480
made it very easy for me to fuck about with.

00:32:45.559 --> 00:32:47.859
That's really interesting. I didn't even think

00:32:47.859 --> 00:32:50.680
about that. Ha! Oh, I've just pulled the strap

00:32:50.680 --> 00:32:54.759
off. Crown, I think that's called in watch parlance.

00:32:54.900 --> 00:32:59.299
A crown? It is an NY London stainless steel back

00:32:59.299 --> 00:33:03.839
PI7072D. Yeah, I've had this maybe. 10 years

00:33:03.839 --> 00:33:07.279
i broke that strap uh about five days ago just

00:33:07.279 --> 00:33:11.559
trying it on oh no you're joking me but it's

00:33:11.559 --> 00:33:15.329
only a cheap Cheap watch. I like the magnified

00:33:15.329 --> 00:33:18.410
section for the date. Oh, no, it's not a date.

00:33:18.529 --> 00:33:20.509
It's just the number nine. Just the number nine.

00:33:20.529 --> 00:33:23.670
I do not like that section at all. Oh. See, now

00:33:23.670 --> 00:33:25.210
I thought it was for the date, but it's not.

00:33:25.210 --> 00:33:27.470
That would make sense. Yes, it would. Then it

00:33:27.470 --> 00:33:29.670
might be, oh, there's a point to having the magnified

00:33:29.670 --> 00:33:32.130
section. No, just over the number nine. Weird.

00:33:32.230 --> 00:33:34.730
Was this a gift or a purchase? Yes, a gift. Ah,

00:33:34.730 --> 00:33:37.710
okay. Fair enough. This was from a flatmate.

00:33:38.069 --> 00:33:41.400
Me, having a flatmate. Not double G. No, no,

00:33:41.460 --> 00:33:46.180
no, no. Look at the size. I am not known as a

00:33:46.180 --> 00:33:48.460
watch wearer, as we discussed a couple of episodes

00:33:48.460 --> 00:33:52.740
ago. That's enormous. That is too big to be practical.

00:33:52.799 --> 00:33:55.619
I think I wore this maybe twice. You could kill

00:33:55.619 --> 00:33:58.619
someone with that. Yeah, that's why I broke it.

00:33:58.680 --> 00:34:00.559
I thought that's the only way it could be used.

00:34:00.559 --> 00:34:03.160
I was trying to put it as a knuckle duster and

00:34:03.160 --> 00:34:05.279
that just stretched the band just a little bit,

00:34:05.359 --> 00:34:09.599
which is just pressed anyway. it's really weak

00:34:09.599 --> 00:34:12.019
oh it's not even stitched no no that would have

00:34:12.019 --> 00:34:14.059
been just oh it's just pressed and glued yeah

00:34:14.059 --> 00:34:17.300
oh so again it's just a very cheap yeah watch

00:34:17.300 --> 00:34:19.219
so it's yeah that would have broken at some point

00:34:19.219 --> 00:34:22.900
anyway i like i quite like the dark titanium

00:34:22.900 --> 00:34:26.920
color look to it it's like um it's not brushed

00:34:26.920 --> 00:34:29.340
steel but it's the color of brushed steel but

00:34:29.340 --> 00:34:33.179
with like a shiny surface it's not bright silver

00:34:33.179 --> 00:34:36.590
it's There's a darker smoke. Yes, there's a darker

00:34:36.590 --> 00:34:40.710
hue to it. This is the heft of this watch. Hush.

00:34:41.809 --> 00:34:45.449
I do actually have a set of micro scales next

00:34:45.449 --> 00:34:47.789
to me. I've bought them specifically so we could

00:34:47.789 --> 00:34:49.809
weigh and price up your cauldron. Shall we weigh

00:34:49.809 --> 00:34:52.250
your watch? Oh, yeah, yeah, go on. Okay, let's

00:34:52.250 --> 00:34:55.409
see how many grams this... But yeah, I am not

00:34:55.409 --> 00:34:57.389
known as a watch wearer, as we mentioned a few

00:34:57.389 --> 00:35:00.829
episodes ago, but years ago when I shared a house

00:35:00.829 --> 00:35:04.059
with somebody, I think he'd be on holiday. And

00:35:04.059 --> 00:35:06.579
this was something he brought back from me. I

00:35:06.579 --> 00:35:08.039
can't remember where he'd been the whole day,

00:35:08.139 --> 00:35:11.800
but yeah, I was trying to be grateful, but he

00:35:11.800 --> 00:35:13.800
never really saw me wearing it. I might have

00:35:13.800 --> 00:35:18.780
worn it twice. And when I got my actual watch,

00:35:18.900 --> 00:35:20.739
which I've been trying to wear, a couple of episodes

00:35:20.739 --> 00:35:22.519
ago, I said I bought myself a watch, treated

00:35:22.519 --> 00:35:24.739
myself in the new year. I just noticed you're

00:35:24.739 --> 00:35:27.710
not wearing it. It only took me one week. Before

00:35:27.710 --> 00:35:30.829
I forgot to wear it. Tuesday after I said, see

00:35:30.829 --> 00:35:32.230
how long it takes before I forget to wear it.

00:35:32.469 --> 00:35:35.929
Two days after saying that. Forgot to wear it.

00:35:36.130 --> 00:35:37.929
I made a point of not bothering to put it on

00:35:37.929 --> 00:35:40.510
this morning. Fair enough. Your watch weighs

00:35:40.510 --> 00:35:46.409
119 grams. Oof. That is a chunk. It's a chunky

00:35:46.409 --> 00:35:51.269
monkey. Chunky boy. For comparison, the Matryoshka

00:35:51.269 --> 00:35:56.570
dolls weigh 54 .68 grams. Have you got your cauldron?

00:35:57.190 --> 00:35:59.170
Or should we do your other item before I get

00:35:59.170 --> 00:36:00.889
carried away with weighing more stuff? We'll

00:36:00.889 --> 00:36:05.989
finish up the tat. So you're donating a dodgy

00:36:05.989 --> 00:36:09.489
watch? But yeah, I will be donating that. I don't

00:36:09.489 --> 00:36:12.110
know if I should just take the strap off it because

00:36:12.110 --> 00:36:14.309
you can't really use that anymore. I mean, you

00:36:14.309 --> 00:36:16.570
know, I don't think it really matters. They might

00:36:16.570 --> 00:36:18.349
have someone wherever you donate it that likes

00:36:18.349 --> 00:36:20.090
to faff with things like that and try and fix

00:36:20.090 --> 00:36:22.250
it. And then you're doing them a disservice by

00:36:22.250 --> 00:36:25.019
not giving them a chore to do. It might not look

00:36:25.019 --> 00:36:27.340
as like I'm pawning off a load of shit on them.

00:36:27.380 --> 00:36:29.320
If I don't bother with the strap on it, it might

00:36:29.320 --> 00:36:31.940
not look as broken. I mean, I don't think they'll

00:36:31.940 --> 00:36:34.940
be too disappointed with one snapped watch strap.

00:36:35.199 --> 00:36:36.960
They can take the strap off themselves if they

00:36:36.960 --> 00:36:41.280
can't fix it. Or they could put a strap on. I'll

00:36:41.280 --> 00:36:44.380
get my tear ties out now. Oh, OK. I'll close

00:36:44.380 --> 00:36:53.849
my eyes for a surprise. Again. I feel like I

00:36:53.849 --> 00:36:56.230
am doing better with the swearing. Right, I'm

00:36:56.230 --> 00:36:57.909
going to take this. This item came in a cardboard

00:36:57.909 --> 00:36:59.949
box. I will take it out of the box. That's very

00:36:59.949 --> 00:37:03.869
generous of you. Thank you. And it came in the

00:37:03.869 --> 00:37:07.869
tiniest little pouch. Oh. There we go. It's in

00:37:07.869 --> 00:37:10.329
front of you. So we've both gone for relatively

00:37:10.329 --> 00:37:18.690
small items today. Ooh. Ooh. I feel like I've

00:37:18.690 --> 00:37:22.079
seen this. No, you haven't. Have I not? I can

00:37:22.079 --> 00:37:27.019
guarantee. Well, not in my house. Weird. It feels

00:37:27.019 --> 00:37:28.900
like it's got a profile of something I feel like

00:37:28.900 --> 00:37:34.059
you already own. Okay, so there is a wrist strap.

00:37:34.480 --> 00:37:38.099
This is a new mystery item for you to get. Wrist

00:37:38.099 --> 00:37:43.400
strap. Does it have moving parts? Does it have

00:37:43.400 --> 00:37:50.440
moving parts before I start pulling on it? dials

00:37:50.440 --> 00:37:55.980
it on the side. There? No? There's one. There's

00:37:55.980 --> 00:38:00.519
one. Oh, okay. I thought they were like little

00:38:00.519 --> 00:38:02.480
tourney wheels. Oh, they are little tourney wheels.

00:38:02.900 --> 00:38:08.119
Yeah, one of them moves something. Rude. Are

00:38:08.119 --> 00:38:10.460
they like tiny binoculars or something? Ooh,

00:38:10.699 --> 00:38:14.000
very close. Because that's what the little tourney

00:38:14.000 --> 00:38:17.059
gauge is making me think of. They're along the

00:38:17.059 --> 00:38:26.219
right lines. Not binoculars, though. It's like...

00:38:26.219 --> 00:38:32.340
I don't know what this is. Do you want to have

00:38:32.340 --> 00:38:35.559
a look? Is it like a little... Correct action.

00:38:36.059 --> 00:38:38.260
Little look -through thingy. Yes. Like one of

00:38:38.260 --> 00:38:41.320
those micro -slides. Yes, yes, yes, you're right.

00:38:41.420 --> 00:38:44.960
And to prove... Look, I am closed -eyed. I've

00:38:44.960 --> 00:38:47.599
held it up almost to my face, not quite enough.

00:38:47.929 --> 00:38:49.869
to touch my glasses. Yeah, it is. So it's like

00:38:49.869 --> 00:38:54.150
a micro telescope slidey thing. A microscope.

00:38:54.449 --> 00:38:57.590
A microscope. Yes. Can I open my eyes? Yeah,

00:38:57.610 --> 00:39:02.750
yeah. Now, this is the reason I wanted to hold

00:39:02.750 --> 00:39:04.909
off with the cauldron as well. I've not switched

00:39:04.909 --> 00:39:08.210
on ever. I got this possibly during lockdown

00:39:08.210 --> 00:39:11.090
from Amazon Warehouse. I was getting some stuff

00:39:11.090 --> 00:39:13.510
from there and I thought, oh, what's in the cheapy

00:39:13.510 --> 00:39:15.250
section? I might as well round up to a tenner

00:39:15.250 --> 00:39:17.659
or something like that. And, yeah, this is one

00:39:17.659 --> 00:39:20.000
of the things I got. And you've never switched

00:39:20.000 --> 00:39:21.940
it on, I assume? No, I've never had a reason

00:39:21.940 --> 00:39:22.960
to use it. Because it's got any batteries in

00:39:22.960 --> 00:39:24.519
it? Yeah, if you open the hatch and there's a

00:39:24.519 --> 00:39:27.840
little tab to pull out. Oh, yes, there it is.

00:39:28.920 --> 00:39:34.000
Can I do the do the do? I don't know if those

00:39:34.000 --> 00:39:37.119
batteries will still work. We'll see and find

00:39:37.119 --> 00:39:39.239
out, as long as I don't ping them everywhere.

00:39:39.659 --> 00:39:41.840
Oh, no, managed to do that relatively safely.

00:39:44.039 --> 00:39:47.760
Slide the slidey action back in. If they do work,

00:39:47.800 --> 00:39:50.059
you can check out the maker's mark on the cauldron.

00:39:50.679 --> 00:39:58.280
And we can weigh it. I assume. Oh, my goodness

00:39:58.280 --> 00:40:02.320
me. It has a torch. It is a mostly bright one.

00:40:02.860 --> 00:40:05.519
At least we know the batteries work. The batteries

00:40:05.519 --> 00:40:13.019
are in perfect working order. You have to shine

00:40:13.019 --> 00:40:16.159
the light away from your eye, especially when

00:40:16.159 --> 00:40:18.579
you're holding it that close. Oh, my God. Okay,

00:40:18.699 --> 00:40:21.940
it's got two lights. Oh, it's got a bottom light

00:40:21.940 --> 00:40:27.539
and a top light. So the central position is off,

00:40:27.679 --> 00:40:36.750
I presume. I see nothing. Is there a... Are you

00:40:36.750 --> 00:40:39.030
filming me doing that? No, I took one photo of

00:40:39.030 --> 00:40:40.329
you. I was going to show you before I upload

00:40:40.329 --> 00:40:43.110
it. You took one photo of me looking ridiculous.

00:40:43.630 --> 00:40:48.510
No, you were studying it. Right, okay. That is

00:40:48.510 --> 00:40:51.630
literally pointing inside there. Is it not working?

00:40:52.110 --> 00:40:55.050
I've got to be honest. The thing I can see is

00:40:55.050 --> 00:40:59.150
the back of my own eyeballs. I don't know if

00:40:59.150 --> 00:41:01.550
I'm the right person to try and navigate the

00:41:01.550 --> 00:41:06.500
use of that. All I can see is white. Good luck

00:41:06.500 --> 00:41:09.139
with me doing this then. I know, your eyesight's

00:41:09.139 --> 00:41:12.360
even worse than mine. I'm glad I've got that

00:41:12.360 --> 00:41:16.940
non -mechanical, non -battery operated Antica's

00:41:16.940 --> 00:41:28.000
eyeglass. Anything? There's crap. I might have

00:41:28.000 --> 00:41:32.800
two donation items. Well, you donate both of

00:41:32.800 --> 00:41:35.539
those and I'll keep my Russian dolls. You want

00:41:35.539 --> 00:41:37.159
to get your hands on any of these before the

00:41:37.159 --> 00:41:39.980
1st of March, get in touch with us, pod at lightlyused

00:41:39.980 --> 00:41:43.260
.co .uk. Any of our donation items, you're absolutely

00:41:43.260 --> 00:41:46.619
welcome to. You really are. More than. Let me

00:41:46.619 --> 00:41:51.619
just calculate this cauldron. Oh, yes. 22 .44

00:41:51.619 --> 00:41:57.440
grams at, I think it was £1 .84 a gram this morning.

00:41:58.500 --> 00:42:02.900
This is worth... £41 .28. Oh, you were kind of

00:42:02.900 --> 00:42:05.099
close with your £50 guess. I think I was not

00:42:05.099 --> 00:42:08.420
too badly done, yeah. That is an excellent turnaround.

00:42:08.880 --> 00:42:11.579
For ten pence investment. For ten pence. You

00:42:11.579 --> 00:42:14.260
should flog that just for its weight. No, I disagree.

00:42:14.360 --> 00:42:15.900
You should keep it because it's a lovely little

00:42:15.900 --> 00:42:18.980
thing. I've actually bought something worth something.

00:42:19.059 --> 00:42:21.480
I'm keeping that. Yeah, I know, right? At least

00:42:21.480 --> 00:42:24.500
for now. I mean, that is... That's the equivalent

00:42:24.500 --> 00:42:27.699
of me paying £5 for... One of Fran's paintings

00:42:27.699 --> 00:42:30.119
that she would have charged me 500 quid for,

00:42:30.219 --> 00:42:33.099
when I found that in the greyhound, that's equivalent,

00:42:33.360 --> 00:42:36.219
you know. Well, in fact, that's more than equivalent,

00:42:36.340 --> 00:42:39.500
because you've, what, 400 times your money? Nice.

00:42:40.179 --> 00:42:41.780
Yeah, I don't have that luck with my cards, though,

00:42:41.860 --> 00:42:49.099
do I? No comment. It's finally happening. Do

00:42:49.099 --> 00:42:51.429
you want to play a game? We're finally getting

00:42:51.429 --> 00:42:55.389
round to playing Sky Joe. Yay! It's involving

00:42:55.389 --> 00:42:58.110
a special midweek recording session to make sure

00:42:58.110 --> 00:43:02.289
we do play it. Is Tuesday midweek? Ish. Depends

00:43:02.289 --> 00:43:04.030
where you start counting from. Hey, listen, by

00:43:04.030 --> 00:43:05.949
this time tomorrow we will be winning the week,

00:43:06.010 --> 00:43:08.610
so alright, it's midweek enough. Right, we've

00:43:08.610 --> 00:43:11.170
watched a YouTube video, which we'll link in

00:43:11.170 --> 00:43:14.989
the blog, showing us how to play it and confirming

00:43:14.989 --> 00:43:18.550
it's pronounced Sky Joe. Yes. From the German...

00:43:19.059 --> 00:43:22.239
Sky Jump? Yeah, which doesn't explain why the

00:43:22.239 --> 00:43:25.320
game is called Sky Jump. No. I'm still not wise

00:43:25.320 --> 00:43:28.340
how to play properly. The scoring system on this,

00:43:28.340 --> 00:43:33.039
as per the video, has got me absolutely baffled.

00:43:33.719 --> 00:43:35.380
We're going to be playing a shortened version

00:43:35.380 --> 00:43:38.019
of the game. Yes, we are. So now, the way they

00:43:38.019 --> 00:43:42.280
describe this game, there's... You add up your

00:43:42.280 --> 00:43:45.349
score. Yeah. And there's several rounds to play

00:43:45.349 --> 00:43:47.570
it properly. So it's meant to be the first to

00:43:47.570 --> 00:43:51.710
get to 100 is the loser. Yes. But then, yeah,

00:43:51.789 --> 00:43:55.250
if you score a certain number of points from

00:43:55.250 --> 00:43:59.210
losing some cuts, then you have double the score

00:43:59.210 --> 00:44:02.530
you originally might have, potentially should

00:44:02.530 --> 00:44:06.250
have, might have got. Okay. Shall I go through

00:44:06.250 --> 00:44:09.329
the basics? Yeah, please. Okay. basics this is

00:44:09.329 --> 00:44:12.110
a card game for two to four players adam and

00:44:12.110 --> 00:44:14.929
i are playing a two -player version hello i'm

00:44:14.929 --> 00:44:18.130
player he's player one i'll be player two i'm

00:44:18.130 --> 00:44:22.090
always player two because i always lose i'm player

00:44:22.090 --> 00:44:28.110
so each player is dealt 12 cards face down which

00:44:28.110 --> 00:44:31.630
they place in a grid of four columns of three

00:44:31.630 --> 00:44:39.659
cards down yes so it's a The remaining half of

00:44:39.659 --> 00:44:43.960
the deck is placed as the discard pile like you

00:44:43.960 --> 00:44:46.139
would have in something like Rummy or Gin Rummy

00:44:46.139 --> 00:44:49.380
or Trump. I haven't played Trump for a long time.

00:44:49.539 --> 00:44:51.440
We used to like playing that in the caravan when

00:44:51.440 --> 00:44:53.260
we were kids because obviously it's called Trump

00:44:53.260 --> 00:44:56.920
and it was a funny named game. Witty, witty children

00:44:56.920 --> 00:44:59.500
we were. Blame my mother. She taught us all how

00:44:59.500 --> 00:45:02.559
to play card games. So yeah, so you have a discard

00:45:02.559 --> 00:45:06.409
pile. You turn the top one over face up. When

00:45:06.409 --> 00:45:10.309
you do that, each player turns two random cards

00:45:10.309 --> 00:45:14.349
in their grid of 12 face up, and then you add

00:45:14.349 --> 00:45:17.829
the value of those two cards together. So I've

00:45:17.829 --> 00:45:20.650
got a 7 and a 6, that's 13. You've got a 2 and

00:45:20.650 --> 00:45:24.630
a 3, that's 5. The person with the highest number

00:45:24.630 --> 00:45:27.849
goes first. I remembered that much. Unless it's

00:45:27.849 --> 00:45:29.889
a draw, and then the youngest person goes first,

00:45:29.989 --> 00:45:32.920
which we all know is Adam. Because he's a child

00:45:32.920 --> 00:45:35.699
and I'm a child snatcher. There's only about

00:45:35.699 --> 00:45:38.079
nine months, I think, between us. It might be

00:45:38.079 --> 00:45:41.280
a little bit more. So you get to the point where

00:45:41.280 --> 00:45:44.750
the first player is going to go. They... Pick

00:45:44.750 --> 00:45:48.369
a card from the deck in the middle next to the

00:45:48.369 --> 00:45:50.530
discard pile. They then choose whether to keep

00:45:50.530 --> 00:45:53.630
that or not. If you keep that card, you remove

00:45:53.630 --> 00:45:57.329
one card from your deck of 12 in front of you

00:45:57.329 --> 00:46:00.630
to place in the discard pile. You are not allowed

00:46:00.630 --> 00:46:03.369
to see what number that card is until you are

00:46:03.369 --> 00:46:07.010
discarding it. So if you pick up a 12 and you

00:46:07.010 --> 00:46:10.030
put a 4 on the discard pile, it's tough fucking

00:46:10.030 --> 00:46:13.510
shit you've got a 12 now. If you pick up a card...

00:46:13.800 --> 00:46:16.280
and you don't want to use it that goes on the

00:46:16.280 --> 00:46:18.639
discard pile but then you have to turn over one

00:46:18.639 --> 00:46:21.559
of your own cards in your deck of 12. and then

00:46:21.559 --> 00:46:25.780
you do that one by one until both players or

00:46:25.780 --> 00:46:28.320
all players or the first person in all of the

00:46:28.320 --> 00:46:30.800
players to get all 12 of their cards face up

00:46:30.800 --> 00:46:33.500
so you can see all of the values there is a rule

00:46:33.500 --> 00:46:36.039
where if you get a column of three numbers the

00:46:36.039 --> 00:46:38.880
same not a row only a column so from bottom to

00:46:38.880 --> 00:46:40.900
top top to bottom not left to right right to

00:46:40.900 --> 00:46:44.039
left If those three cards are identical, those

00:46:44.039 --> 00:46:46.760
three cards are removed from your deck of 12

00:46:46.760 --> 00:46:49.420
and placed in the discard pile in the centre

00:46:49.420 --> 00:46:52.599
of the table. And then those three cards are

00:46:52.599 --> 00:46:55.820
not replaced. So you end up with nine cards in

00:46:55.820 --> 00:46:58.340
total rather than 12. And that's whether you

00:46:58.340 --> 00:47:01.099
want to lose them or not. Yes, it could be a

00:47:01.099 --> 00:47:02.880
good three. It could be a bad three. They've

00:47:02.880 --> 00:47:05.760
got to go. So whoever turns over all of their

00:47:05.760 --> 00:47:08.989
cards first. They end the round, but they don't

00:47:08.989 --> 00:47:11.409
necessarily win the round. That's where the math

00:47:11.409 --> 00:47:13.849
comes in. So the remaining players get to do

00:47:13.849 --> 00:47:16.329
one more turn of picking a card off of the deck

00:47:16.329 --> 00:47:18.949
and replace it with one of their own. Then when

00:47:18.949 --> 00:47:20.590
they've done that, everyone turns all of their

00:47:20.590 --> 00:47:23.570
card space over. Then you all add up the values

00:47:23.570 --> 00:47:26.050
of however many cards that you have in front

00:47:26.050 --> 00:47:30.389
of you. And if the person who ended the round

00:47:30.389 --> 00:47:34.920
doesn't have the lowest score, their score is

00:47:34.920 --> 00:47:38.699
doubled unless they score zero or minus something.

00:47:39.000 --> 00:47:41.400
Not sure why. I'm guessing it's the jeopardy

00:47:41.400 --> 00:47:43.559
factor. I like that you were looking at me for

00:47:43.559 --> 00:47:45.219
confirmation that you were getting that bit right.

00:47:45.400 --> 00:47:49.400
No. I just, again, for a split second, I thought

00:47:49.400 --> 00:47:52.480
of something else, then, oh, a lot has happened.

00:47:52.500 --> 00:47:54.300
I don't know where we are now. You're explaining

00:47:54.300 --> 00:47:57.659
scores. Okay, so... You can keep track of the

00:47:57.659 --> 00:48:01.050
scores. And I will take whatever answer you say

00:48:01.050 --> 00:48:03.489
is the truth. That's absolutely fine. Okay, I'm

00:48:03.489 --> 00:48:05.730
going to deal us both 12 cards now. Do not turn

00:48:05.730 --> 00:48:08.230
any of these over. I would recommend people watch

00:48:08.230 --> 00:48:11.050
the video for how to play this. That's the official

00:48:11.050 --> 00:48:14.090
rules. We're going to play a very shortened version

00:48:14.090 --> 00:48:17.110
of this. I think we might be doing two sets of

00:48:17.110 --> 00:48:20.929
scores. One being whatever the score you get

00:48:20.929 --> 00:48:25.389
is. And then I will ask Karen to actually...

00:48:25.929 --> 00:48:29.510
give the scores using however it's actually meant

00:48:29.510 --> 00:48:32.489
to be calculated because yeah three times i watched

00:48:32.489 --> 00:48:34.510
the video karen's explained it to me also three

00:48:34.510 --> 00:48:38.030
times now and i am absolutely none the wiser

00:48:38.030 --> 00:48:42.250
you have to really really concentrate it's people

00:48:42.250 --> 00:48:43.969
to understand the rules at least that's how my

00:48:43.969 --> 00:48:47.489
brain works okay we both have 12 cards and if

00:48:47.489 --> 00:48:49.510
you want to move those slightly closer to you

00:48:49.510 --> 00:48:51.969
so you don't get mixed up with mine because i'm

00:48:51.969 --> 00:48:55.989
a messy card player Right, so we've each got

00:48:55.989 --> 00:48:59.050
our deck of 12 cards face down in front of us.

00:48:59.110 --> 00:49:04.130
They are all a mystery. Okay, do you want to

00:49:04.130 --> 00:49:07.530
turn the top card over on the throwaway deck

00:49:07.530 --> 00:49:11.110
slash pick up deck? It's an eight. There we are.

00:49:11.650 --> 00:49:14.570
And now we both pick two random cards to just

00:49:14.570 --> 00:49:18.190
flip over and then we add them up. Oh my God,

00:49:18.190 --> 00:49:20.869
that is so weird. Have you seen what cards we've

00:49:20.869 --> 00:49:24.380
gone for? Polar opposites of each other. That's

00:49:24.380 --> 00:49:27.980
so bizarre. I've got a nine. I've got a nine

00:49:27.980 --> 00:49:31.079
and a minus one. So you're an eight. So I've

00:49:31.079 --> 00:49:33.119
got nine, which is the highest because you double

00:49:33.119 --> 00:49:37.199
it as well. So it's 18. I didn't remember that

00:49:37.199 --> 00:49:40.320
bit. Yeah. So you add up the ones and whoever's

00:49:40.320 --> 00:49:43.190
got the highest goes first. Unless it's draw

00:49:43.190 --> 00:49:45.590
and then it's the youngest person. What's the

00:49:45.590 --> 00:49:47.889
doubling part of it? Because clearly... I don't

00:49:47.889 --> 00:49:49.989
remember why there's a doubling part of it. There

00:49:49.989 --> 00:49:52.489
just is. Yeah, you've just got the higher...

00:49:52.489 --> 00:49:53.630
I've got the higher number. You're one point

00:49:53.630 --> 00:49:56.170
higher. I'm going to go first, all right? Okay,

00:49:56.250 --> 00:49:57.829
right. I'm going to pick a card off the pickup

00:49:57.829 --> 00:50:01.130
pile. Picking up cards off the pickup pile, you

00:50:01.130 --> 00:50:02.809
are allowed to look at what's there in your hand.

00:50:02.909 --> 00:50:04.289
You can't, you know, otherwise you'd be playing

00:50:04.289 --> 00:50:06.010
a game entirely blindly, which could be fun,

00:50:06.070 --> 00:50:11.369
but still. I will put a two down and replace

00:50:11.369 --> 00:50:17.250
my nine. Your go. I will do the same. Oh, my

00:50:17.250 --> 00:50:20.090
God. I shuffled these badly. I shuffled them

00:50:20.090 --> 00:50:22.369
for ages as well. It's two decks, by the way.

00:50:23.789 --> 00:50:29.570
That's a two for a ten. I'm discarding the one

00:50:29.570 --> 00:50:33.949
I picked up. I will turn over a one. Good choice.

00:50:34.309 --> 00:50:39.980
Right. Okay. I'll go for that one. Picked up

00:50:39.980 --> 00:50:42.059
a minus one, ditched a seven. That was a good

00:50:42.059 --> 00:50:45.380
selection. I've picked up a nine, which I will

00:50:45.380 --> 00:50:50.840
put back. And I'm flipping over a nine. Well

00:50:50.840 --> 00:50:53.840
played, Adam. Shucks. Well, you're not either

00:50:53.840 --> 00:50:56.039
worse off or better off. It's all good. Right,

00:50:56.119 --> 00:51:00.840
OK. I've picked up an 11, which I'm going to

00:51:00.840 --> 00:51:05.380
discard. And I will turn that one over on my

00:51:05.380 --> 00:51:08.820
pile, which is a seven. I've picked up a four.

00:51:08.940 --> 00:51:11.699
I will swap that for the nine I turned over earlier.

00:51:11.900 --> 00:51:18.619
Nice. Yeah, I'm going to do that. Picked up a

00:51:18.619 --> 00:51:21.880
zero. I'm going to swap it for my seven. And

00:51:21.880 --> 00:51:25.579
I've got two out of three of a column. I've picked

00:51:25.579 --> 00:51:27.960
up a zero. Oh, bastard, I hated that. I'll swap

00:51:27.960 --> 00:51:31.179
it for the four I just played. Wow. Somebody's

00:51:31.179 --> 00:51:33.360
got a noisy bike going past. Yes, excuse the

00:51:33.360 --> 00:51:34.920
farty motorbike in the background if you can

00:51:34.920 --> 00:51:37.539
hear it. I didn't check what time we started

00:51:37.539 --> 00:51:39.539
recording, so we'll just do one round of this.

00:51:39.559 --> 00:51:41.079
I've got a feeling this could be a while. I've

00:51:41.079 --> 00:51:46.500
picked up a one and I've ditched a five. I have

00:51:46.500 --> 00:51:52.639
picked up a one and I'm ditching a two. I'd have

00:51:52.639 --> 00:51:54.679
been tempted to swap that for a random card.

00:51:56.639 --> 00:52:00.739
I'm going to pick up that two and I'm going to

00:52:00.739 --> 00:52:05.530
put it here. Get rid of a 12. Nice. Well played.

00:52:07.650 --> 00:52:12.690
I'm going to swap a minus one for a random card,

00:52:12.789 --> 00:52:16.610
which was a minus one. You're quite good at this

00:52:16.610 --> 00:52:18.690
matching cards game. We should be playing snap.

00:52:20.190 --> 00:52:23.230
I understand that rules. Okay. I'm not going

00:52:23.230 --> 00:52:25.989
to keep that. So I'll turn that one over. Oh,

00:52:26.010 --> 00:52:30.030
fuck. I didn't want the eight. So I turned one

00:52:30.030 --> 00:52:34.329
on my own over and it's a 12. I'm going to pick

00:52:34.329 --> 00:52:36.389
that before putting it back down. I'm going to

00:52:36.389 --> 00:52:39.230
turn over this one, which is a minus two. Oh,

00:52:39.230 --> 00:52:46.469
nice. Very nice. I am going to take a... I might

00:52:46.469 --> 00:52:47.789
regret this, but I'm going to take a card off

00:52:47.789 --> 00:52:50.210
the pickup. Oh, actually, it doesn't really matter.

00:52:50.730 --> 00:52:53.110
And I'll swap it for that one. Ah, bollocks.

00:52:53.250 --> 00:52:56.550
Picked up a four, got rid of a minus one. That's

00:52:56.550 --> 00:53:02.159
a shame. Ah, interesting. I'm putting that straight

00:53:02.159 --> 00:53:04.420
back onto this card pile. Okey -dokey. Picked

00:53:04.420 --> 00:53:06.739
up a 12. It's a 12. Ditched a 12. I've turned

00:53:06.739 --> 00:53:11.500
over a 12. Turned over a 12. Okay. Card from

00:53:11.500 --> 00:53:14.480
the pickup pile. Oh, fuck. Okay, that's another

00:53:14.480 --> 00:53:16.460
12. I don't want to keep that, so I'm going to

00:53:16.460 --> 00:53:20.500
turn that card over, which is a minus 1. I've

00:53:20.500 --> 00:53:23.280
got two cards left to turn. I'm swapping that

00:53:23.280 --> 00:53:27.059
12 for a 2 that I've just picked up. Nice. Very

00:53:27.059 --> 00:53:29.300
nice indeed. I really need to get rid of this

00:53:29.300 --> 00:53:32.590
12. Tidying up the discard pile. Very, very well

00:53:32.590 --> 00:53:35.829
behaved of you. Thank you. Oh, okay. Right. I'm

00:53:35.829 --> 00:53:39.510
going to swap my 12 for a 5. That's a bit healthier.

00:53:41.710 --> 00:53:45.570
Adam. Oh, I picked up an 8. Put it back down.

00:53:45.869 --> 00:53:49.590
I turned over a 10. That's a bit sucky. Okay.

00:53:49.670 --> 00:53:51.670
I picked up a 6. I'm going to ditch it and I'm

00:53:51.670 --> 00:53:53.969
going to turn this one over. Ah, fuck. That's

00:53:53.969 --> 00:53:57.170
an 11. That's not good. I've got one card left

00:53:57.170 --> 00:54:01.269
to turn over. I'm swapping the 10 I just picked

00:54:01.269 --> 00:54:05.349
up for a 6. Sorry, the 10 I previously played

00:54:05.349 --> 00:54:10.389
for a 6 I just picked up. Very nice. Ooh, okay.

00:54:10.510 --> 00:54:13.469
I've picked up a 0, so I'm swapping my 0 for

00:54:13.469 --> 00:54:18.010
my 11. Still one card left to reveal. Adam has

00:54:18.010 --> 00:54:21.210
4. Yeah, can't I just turn over any of them,

00:54:21.250 --> 00:54:22.670
or do I have to swap them? No, you've got to

00:54:22.670 --> 00:54:27.989
swap first. Oh, in that case. Nice. I picked

00:54:27.989 --> 00:54:31.090
up a minus one and I swapped it for what was

00:54:31.090 --> 00:54:36.309
a 12 as it turns out. Very, very nice. Oh, this

00:54:36.309 --> 00:54:38.650
is a tough choice. I've picked up a middle of

00:54:38.650 --> 00:54:41.570
the range card. This is the higher or lower moment

00:54:41.570 --> 00:54:44.809
where you switch on a seven and you're like,

00:54:44.909 --> 00:54:47.750
is there more of a chance of there being higher

00:54:47.750 --> 00:54:50.869
or lower on my last card left to be turned over?

00:54:50.989 --> 00:54:55.349
Look who it is. I am going to discard the seven.

00:54:55.900 --> 00:54:58.900
and reveal my final card. Ah, that's how you

00:54:58.900 --> 00:55:00.500
did it. I forgot how you played it. Which is...

00:55:00.500 --> 00:55:05.619
Fuck! An 11. Okay. You get one more go to turn

00:55:05.619 --> 00:55:08.280
over a card. Oh. Yeah, yeah. You get one more

00:55:08.280 --> 00:55:11.719
go to turn over a card. Er... Tick your switch.

00:55:11.780 --> 00:55:15.280
That's the one. Turn it over. Yeah, it could

00:55:15.280 --> 00:55:19.900
be a triplet. No. Oof. Okay, right. Now, because

00:55:19.900 --> 00:55:21.360
I've revealed all of... The one I turned over

00:55:21.360 --> 00:55:24.659
was a six. Sorry. And you rejected a five. Yes.

00:55:25.250 --> 00:55:27.309
So now because I've revealed all of my cards,

00:55:27.489 --> 00:55:29.230
you get to turn over the rest of your cards.

00:55:30.489 --> 00:55:34.670
I have a 12 in the deck. And the remaining card.

00:55:38.510 --> 00:55:40.429
That's harsh. Have I got enough minus cards to

00:55:40.429 --> 00:55:42.769
count them out? I don't think so. Can you count

00:55:42.769 --> 00:55:46.130
in your head? No. Hang on, do I have to total

00:55:46.130 --> 00:55:48.489
them all up here? Yeah, total up all 12 of your

00:55:48.489 --> 00:55:50.389
cards and I will do the same with mine. Okay.

00:56:08.780 --> 00:56:12.719
What do you get? 32. 25. I win the round. Do

00:56:12.719 --> 00:56:15.000
you want to check my maths? No, I trust you.

00:56:15.179 --> 00:56:17.559
Do you have a pen? I've got a D twice. Or a pencil.

00:56:17.719 --> 00:56:19.679
Probably should have asked you this before we

00:56:19.679 --> 00:56:24.139
started playing the game. Thank you. So you had

00:56:24.139 --> 00:56:30.840
a 32. And I had a 25. Oh, what's the official,

00:56:30.880 --> 00:56:35.219
official scores after you carry the one? Divided

00:56:35.219 --> 00:56:37.260
by your shoe size, subtracted by your height.

00:56:39.059 --> 00:56:43.039
Minus the Earth's gravitational pull. Do you

00:56:43.039 --> 00:56:46.639
want one more round? Not particularly. Oh, I

00:56:46.639 --> 00:56:48.880
quite enjoyed that. Okay, then. Let's do one

00:56:48.880 --> 00:56:50.900
more round. Let's do one more round. You can

00:56:50.900 --> 00:56:57.699
always cut it. It's for me. Right, I'll move

00:56:57.699 --> 00:57:01.179
my cards down ever so slightly. So we've got

00:57:01.179 --> 00:57:04.590
our discard pile again. Here we go. Right, so

00:57:04.590 --> 00:57:07.250
pick two cards at random and turn them over.

00:57:08.690 --> 00:57:14.309
Oh, fuck. I got 22, you got 15. Is it still highest

00:57:14.309 --> 00:57:17.929
one goes first? Okay. I turned over two 11s,

00:57:17.929 --> 00:57:19.750
you've got an 11 and a 4. Right, okay, I'm going

00:57:19.750 --> 00:57:22.090
to pick up off the pickup pile. And immediately

00:57:22.090 --> 00:57:29.010
I'm going to swap an 11 for a 3. Okay, that was

00:57:29.010 --> 00:57:30.710
a 10. Sorry, I picked up a 10 and turned over

00:57:30.710 --> 00:57:34.400
a 7 of my own deck. Yep. I'm going to ditch the

00:57:34.400 --> 00:57:37.139
9 that I just picked up. I'm going to turn over

00:57:37.139 --> 00:57:42.000
an 8. I've picked up an 8, putting it down. I'm

00:57:42.000 --> 00:57:44.739
turning over one of my own cards. It's a 12.

00:57:44.820 --> 00:57:48.940
Oh, unlucky. I've picked up an 8. I'm going to

00:57:48.940 --> 00:57:54.519
swap it for the 11. I've picked up a 9. I'm swapping

00:57:54.519 --> 00:58:00.650
that for the 12. I've picked up a three, so I'm

00:58:00.650 --> 00:58:02.650
going to swap it for that card there. Shame,

00:58:02.909 --> 00:58:05.469
which is a two, but I've got two out of three

00:58:05.469 --> 00:58:07.969
threes on a column. I've picked up a three. I'm

00:58:07.969 --> 00:58:14.510
swapping it for the 11. Cool. Six, and I'll swap

00:58:14.510 --> 00:58:18.710
it for a bottom corner, which is an 11. Not doing

00:58:18.710 --> 00:58:21.469
so good on the low scores this time. Pick up

00:58:21.469 --> 00:58:24.030
a five, swapping it for the nine. Okey -dokey.

00:58:24.409 --> 00:58:30.820
I'll leave that nine where it is. Seven. Get

00:58:30.820 --> 00:58:35.059
rid of that 8. Swap it for that 7. I've picked

00:58:35.059 --> 00:58:37.320
up a 7, putting it back down. I'm just randomly

00:58:37.320 --> 00:58:41.119
turning over a 7 on my own deck. I've picked

00:58:41.119 --> 00:58:45.119
up a 5, which I will keep and I will put there.

00:58:45.679 --> 00:58:49.360
And I've got rid of an 8. Finally, a decent move.

00:58:50.019 --> 00:58:52.940
I'm swapping the 7 I just turned over for a 0

00:58:52.940 --> 00:58:55.380
that I've just picked up. Oh, nice. Very nice.

00:58:55.539 --> 00:59:00.820
Very, very nice. Oh, I will take that and I will

00:59:00.820 --> 00:59:03.460
put, I'll take this minus one that I just picked

00:59:03.460 --> 00:59:06.380
up and I'll put it there. Oh, replacing a 12.

00:59:06.619 --> 00:59:13.559
Very nice. I have just picked up five, putting

00:59:13.559 --> 00:59:18.760
it on the discard pile. I'm turning over a minus

00:59:18.760 --> 00:59:26.400
two. Lovely. I've picked up a six. I'm going

00:59:26.400 --> 00:59:29.679
to get rid of that and I will turn over this

00:59:29.679 --> 00:59:34.539
card. Fuck, that's a nine. I'm going to discard

00:59:34.539 --> 00:59:37.059
the six I've just picked up and I'm going to

00:59:37.059 --> 00:59:43.300
be turning over a one. Nice. Very nice. Damn

00:59:43.300 --> 00:59:45.199
it. If I'd played differently, I could have gotten

00:59:45.199 --> 00:59:48.119
rid of a column on this row. Never mind. Right.

00:59:48.199 --> 00:59:51.829
Picking up a card. It's that one. I've picked

00:59:51.829 --> 00:59:56.230
up a minus one, so I'm going to place it there

00:59:56.230 --> 01:00:01.429
where the nine is. I've picked up a zero. I'm

01:00:01.429 --> 01:00:04.889
swapping it for a seven of my own deck. Lovely

01:00:04.889 --> 01:00:08.889
job, sir. I've picked up a seven. I'm going to

01:00:08.889 --> 01:00:11.590
ditch it. I'm going to turn over this bottom

01:00:11.590 --> 01:00:16.269
corner, which is a four. I've picked up a one.

01:00:16.750 --> 01:00:20.389
I'm swapping that for a five. Very nice. You're

01:00:20.389 --> 01:00:22.789
doing a lot better than me on this round. Okay.

01:00:26.969 --> 01:00:29.650
Picking up a card. It's a zero, so I'm going

01:00:29.650 --> 01:00:31.929
to swap it out for the eight on the top corner.

01:00:33.090 --> 01:00:38.429
I'm swapping. I picked up a zero. I'm swapping

01:00:38.429 --> 01:00:47.739
it for a four. Lovely. That was a nine. I'm putting

01:00:47.739 --> 01:00:53.420
that back and I've turned over an 11. I'm discarding

01:00:53.420 --> 01:00:56.599
the four I've just picked up. Okay. I'm going

01:00:56.599 --> 01:01:00.099
to turn over one of my own deck. It's a minus.

01:01:00.199 --> 01:01:03.659
Oh, nice. Well, I'm going to take your four that

01:01:03.659 --> 01:01:05.679
you've just discarded and I'm going to swap it

01:01:05.679 --> 01:01:08.360
with my 11. Don't blame me. The highest scoring

01:01:08.360 --> 01:01:11.800
one face up on your deck. Yeah, by a few points.

01:01:13.500 --> 01:01:17.219
I'm going to... discard the four that I've just

01:01:17.219 --> 01:01:19.719
picked up to turn over one of my face down cards.

01:01:19.980 --> 01:01:24.559
It's a ten. Ooh, gutter. You've got three cards

01:01:24.559 --> 01:01:27.860
left to turn over. I've got two. Sugar, I've

01:01:27.860 --> 01:01:33.480
just picked up a four. I will swap that four

01:01:33.480 --> 01:01:37.780
for that seven. I've just picked up minus one.

01:01:37.860 --> 01:01:40.800
I'm swapping that for the ten. Bastard. It's

01:01:40.800 --> 01:01:44.480
a great card. I've picked up a one. I'm just

01:01:44.480 --> 01:01:46.840
going to randomly turn over this card on mine,

01:01:47.000 --> 01:01:49.639
which is a seven. That was a nice choice. One

01:01:49.639 --> 01:01:54.460
to show for me, three to show for you. You know,

01:01:54.480 --> 01:01:56.460
I'm just going to be brave. I'm going to put

01:01:56.460 --> 01:01:59.519
the two back up there. Oh, that is quite brave.

01:02:01.320 --> 01:02:07.360
That's one. It's a nine. To be honest, I think

01:02:07.360 --> 01:02:08.940
even if I picked up that two, it's not going

01:02:08.940 --> 01:02:12.289
to do me any favours. Right, I'm going to pick

01:02:12.289 --> 01:02:15.730
up a pick up. Picked up a pick up, put it straight

01:02:15.730 --> 01:02:17.750
back down. It's a 10, so I'm turning my last

01:02:17.750 --> 01:02:20.829
card over, which is a 10. So all of my cards

01:02:20.829 --> 01:02:23.929
are out. You get to do one more swap, see? Do

01:02:23.929 --> 01:02:26.849
I have to swap? You have to do one more round.

01:02:26.889 --> 01:02:31.170
Oh, sorry. I wouldn't be playing that one anyway.

01:02:31.489 --> 01:02:33.690
Okay. So I've picked up a 10, put it back down.

01:02:33.730 --> 01:02:36.349
I'm turning over one of my cards. It's a 5. Okay.

01:02:36.670 --> 01:02:40.349
And my final card to turn over is... A three.

01:02:40.449 --> 01:02:56.949
Oh, lovely. Right, add up your numbers. I've

01:02:56.949 --> 01:03:02.170
got 17. Oh, nice. I've got 38. There we are.

01:03:02.349 --> 01:03:04.849
Shall we see where we are over two rounds? Okay,

01:03:04.929 --> 01:03:10.389
so what's the overall scores on the doors? And

01:03:10.389 --> 01:03:13.889
then there's the jiggery -pokery of the score

01:03:13.889 --> 01:03:23.090
of who went first. 49 to you. 63 to me. Once

01:03:23.090 --> 01:03:26.110
again, you win a game because it's who's got

01:03:26.110 --> 01:03:29.110
the lowest score. Is this an extra formula to

01:03:29.110 --> 01:03:31.610
work out? No, I can't be arsed. Would there be

01:03:31.610 --> 01:03:33.329
some extra formula to work out? I think if you

01:03:33.329 --> 01:03:39.710
win the hand that you clear... Because I didn't

01:03:39.710 --> 01:03:42.150
go first? And you have the lowest score. Yeah,

01:03:42.289 --> 01:03:44.730
because I went first on that hand, I think. Because

01:03:44.730 --> 01:03:47.190
I cleared all of my... I turned all my cards

01:03:47.190 --> 01:03:49.869
over first. I ended that round, but you had the

01:03:49.869 --> 01:03:51.730
lowest score, which means you win that round

01:03:51.730 --> 01:03:55.389
and my score isn't doubled. Watch the video that'll

01:03:55.389 --> 01:03:57.630
go on the blog for how to officially score that.

01:03:57.690 --> 01:03:59.070
And if you can work out what our score should

01:03:59.070 --> 01:04:02.880
have been... Pod at lightlyused .co .uk is our

01:04:02.880 --> 01:04:07.780
email address. My score was 49. 49 in total and

01:04:07.780 --> 01:04:10.960
I'm 63. So if you want to work this out properly,

01:04:11.039 --> 01:04:16.739
my first hand was 32. Karen's was 25. Second

01:04:16.739 --> 01:04:20.539
hand was 17. Karen's was 38. Yeah, bad second

01:04:20.539 --> 01:04:23.860
hand for me. So 49 to 63. From all that information,

01:04:24.019 --> 01:04:26.679
if you can watch the linked video and work out

01:04:26.679 --> 01:04:29.579
what our scores should be. Please email us. We

01:04:29.579 --> 01:04:32.480
would like the information. But yeah, actually,

01:04:32.619 --> 01:04:34.920
as far as card games go, I'm not a big fan of

01:04:34.920 --> 01:04:38.670
them at all. Maths. That actually was fun to

01:04:38.670 --> 01:04:42.050
play. Yeah. I like the... Learning how to play

01:04:42.050 --> 01:04:45.070
it wasn't, but the action of playing, that was

01:04:45.070 --> 01:04:48.070
fun. I like the action. I like the not knowing

01:04:48.070 --> 01:04:50.010
what you're getting rid of, but knowing what

01:04:50.010 --> 01:04:52.190
you're picking up. So there's that whole like,

01:04:52.269 --> 01:04:54.489
oh, fuck, I've done the wrong thing. And I should

01:04:54.489 --> 01:04:56.230
have put this card on the discard pile instead

01:04:56.230 --> 01:04:59.030
of turning over a 12 or whatever. I like that.

01:04:59.150 --> 01:05:01.969
And I reckon you could get to playing it really,

01:05:02.050 --> 01:05:04.969
really quickly. So like super speed rounds, like

01:05:04.969 --> 01:05:06.530
the more you played it, obviously. you're not

01:05:06.530 --> 01:05:08.309
going to become a professional Sky Joe player.

01:05:08.690 --> 01:05:11.170
But some people might, they might play this one

01:05:11.170 --> 01:05:12.769
night a week with all of their mates. They might

01:05:12.769 --> 01:05:14.690
be super fucking fast at it and they can get

01:05:14.690 --> 01:05:17.409
through three or four full games to 100 points

01:05:17.409 --> 01:05:19.150
in a night. But I really enjoyed it. It's good

01:05:19.150 --> 01:05:21.550
fun. I mean, and you score easy with our streamlined

01:05:21.550 --> 01:05:24.829
rules. Just what your card score is, is your

01:05:24.829 --> 01:05:26.610
score. Yeah, don't worry about the math at the

01:05:26.610 --> 01:05:29.210
end. It's really not that important. I think

01:05:29.210 --> 01:05:32.030
that takes away from a lot of the fun. The actual

01:05:32.030 --> 01:05:36.489
scoring way. I've just scored my points, surely.

01:05:36.650 --> 01:05:40.449
No. You didn't score. Did you go first? How many

01:05:40.449 --> 01:05:42.429
cards did you get first? And what was the score

01:05:42.429 --> 01:05:44.190
on those cards? You have to subtract that by

01:05:44.190 --> 01:05:50.170
your... Chester's rules always rules. And my

01:05:50.170 --> 01:05:52.170
family will attest, especially when it comes

01:05:52.170 --> 01:05:54.369
to things like Scrabble. Thanks for listening

01:05:54.369 --> 01:05:56.739
to this little section. And thank you, Karen's

01:05:56.739 --> 01:05:59.639
mum, for Skyjo. Yes, Merry Christmas. Good game.

01:05:59.800 --> 01:06:01.699
Good game, good game. Glad we finally got round

01:06:01.699 --> 01:06:08.760
to it. Yeah, me too. BivioTat. It's your turn.

01:06:09.000 --> 01:06:11.599
It is. And I've brought a book that contains

01:06:11.599 --> 01:06:14.500
stories, two of which I've read and highlighted

01:06:14.500 --> 01:06:16.760
to introduce to you today for your listening

01:06:16.760 --> 01:06:20.400
pleasure. More than I did last episode. I'm still

01:06:20.400 --> 01:06:22.780
not complaining about the duck crisps. I went

01:06:22.780 --> 01:06:24.900
home with that packet of duck crisps. Thank you

01:06:24.900 --> 01:06:26.639
very much. And thank you for the dreamy as well.

01:06:26.699 --> 01:06:29.480
That was also tucked away in my tap box. I enjoyed

01:06:29.480 --> 01:06:32.420
those very much. The crisps lasted me about four

01:06:32.420 --> 01:06:35.219
days. Oh, so I thought that was quite good. Very

01:06:35.219 --> 01:06:39.800
restrained. But yeah, they were good. I have

01:06:39.800 --> 01:06:42.940
brought more scary stories to tell in the dark.

01:06:43.500 --> 01:06:47.360
Collected by Alvin Schwartz and drawings by Stephen

01:06:47.360 --> 01:06:52.340
Gammell. Or Gammell. G -A -M -M -E -L -L. It's

01:06:52.340 --> 01:06:55.639
a vaguely avoiding copyright infringement poltergeist

01:06:55.639 --> 01:06:58.539
bodster looking on the front there. Yeah. So

01:06:58.539 --> 01:07:01.579
I'll read the back of the book. And he has chased

01:07:01.579 --> 01:07:03.119
somebody down the stairs like in the film too.

01:07:03.260 --> 01:07:05.679
I know, right? Right. Scary stories to tell in

01:07:05.679 --> 01:07:08.650
the dark. Sure to provide chills along the spine,

01:07:08.809 --> 01:07:12.489
this collection of short selections about witches

01:07:12.489 --> 01:07:16.010
and ghosts includes jump stories as well as macabre

01:07:16.010 --> 01:07:19.530
songs, modern day psychic tales and frightening

01:07:19.530 --> 01:07:23.349
legends from the past. And that's from ALA Booklist.

01:07:23.789 --> 01:07:25.869
When this was published, there were three books

01:07:25.869 --> 01:07:30.269
in the collection. First one, Scary Stories to

01:07:30.269 --> 01:07:33.250
Tell in the Dark. Oh, is that from the TV series?

01:07:33.570 --> 01:07:36.949
I don't know. This is the second book. More scary.

01:07:36.949 --> 01:07:38.489
More scary stories. Do you want to guess what

01:07:38.489 --> 01:07:42.269
the third book is called? Even More? Oh, that

01:07:42.269 --> 01:07:45.050
was a good guess. It's Scary Stories 3. Oh, otherwise

01:07:45.050 --> 01:07:48.130
it's going to be Yet More. Wasted opportunity.

01:07:48.630 --> 01:07:50.809
Yeah, this is a HarperCollins for children's

01:07:50.809 --> 01:07:56.190
book published in the US. $6 .99. I got it off

01:07:56.190 --> 01:08:01.510
eBay for, what did I pay? £3 .30. You know, so,

01:08:01.610 --> 01:08:05.300
meh. Also by Alvin Schwartz. Scary stories in

01:08:05.300 --> 01:08:08.139
the dark. Scary stories three. More tales to

01:08:08.139 --> 01:08:11.280
chill your bones. I can read books for younger

01:08:11.280 --> 01:08:14.219
readers. Ghosts. Ghostly tales from folklore.

01:08:14.219 --> 01:08:16.039
Is it exclamation mark after ghosts? Yeah, that's

01:08:16.039 --> 01:08:18.199
why I said it that way. I wasn't sure if it was

01:08:18.199 --> 01:08:21.979
just capital letters. No. I saw you in the bathtub

01:08:21.979 --> 01:08:26.000
and other folk rhymes in a dark, dark room and

01:08:26.000 --> 01:08:29.140
other scary stories. There is a carrot in my

01:08:29.140 --> 01:08:33.510
ear and other noodle tales. I might try and find

01:08:33.510 --> 01:08:36.170
that one. That sounds like an Eli book to me.

01:08:36.310 --> 01:08:38.609
Not too keen on I saw you in the bath book. Yeah,

01:08:38.630 --> 01:08:42.970
that sounds odd. Anyway, right, let's find the

01:08:42.970 --> 01:08:47.409
contents page. Contents. Who has, when she saw

01:08:47.409 --> 01:08:51.390
him, she screamed and ran. She was spitting and

01:08:51.390 --> 01:08:54.470
meowing just like a cat. Yeah, who has. Oh, like

01:08:54.470 --> 01:08:59.689
a lady bit. Who has. Who has. H -O -O. H -A.

01:08:59.949 --> 01:09:07.300
Apostrophe. H -O -O hyphen H -A apostrophe S.

01:09:07.539 --> 01:09:12.060
Yeah, that's the plural of lady bits. So there's

01:09:12.060 --> 01:09:15.239
multiple stories in each section. When I wake

01:09:15.239 --> 01:09:19.399
up, everything will be all right. Morning affirmation.

01:09:19.619 --> 01:09:21.659
Yeah, I guess that must be. Anyway, different

01:09:21.659 --> 01:09:26.800
segments. Let's find the first story I picked

01:09:26.800 --> 01:09:28.920
out. I've picked out two. They're not very long.

01:09:28.979 --> 01:09:33.020
They're only short. This first one I chose because

01:09:33.020 --> 01:09:40.840
of the title. Wonderful Sausage. Thank you. One

01:09:40.840 --> 01:09:44.140
dark, rainy Saturday afternoon, a fat and jolly

01:09:44.140 --> 01:09:46.920
butcher named Samuel Blunt had an argument over

01:09:46.920 --> 01:09:49.960
money with his wife Eloise. Blunt lost his temper

01:09:49.960 --> 01:09:52.720
and killed Eloise. Then he ground her up into

01:09:52.720 --> 01:09:55.039
sausage meat and buried her bones under a big,

01:09:55.039 --> 01:09:58.239
flat rock in the backyard. To keep the murder

01:09:58.239 --> 01:10:00.319
a secret, he told everyone that she had moved

01:10:00.319 --> 01:10:04.479
away. Classic. Such a tropism. Blunt mixed his

01:10:04.479 --> 01:10:06.960
new sausage meat with pork, then seasoned it

01:10:06.960 --> 01:10:09.600
with salt and pepper, added some sage and thyme

01:10:09.600 --> 01:10:12.359
and even a bit of garlic. To give it a special

01:10:12.359 --> 01:10:15.539
flavour, he smoked it in his smokehouse for a

01:10:15.539 --> 01:10:20.399
while. He called it Blunt's Special Sausage.

01:10:21.979 --> 01:10:24.279
That's the guy from League of Gentlemen. I don't

01:10:24.279 --> 01:10:25.560
know, I never watched the League of Gentlemen,

01:10:25.699 --> 01:10:28.380
but that sounds like it's a good reference. Or

01:10:28.380 --> 01:10:31.380
Sweeney Todd. It's very Sweeney Todd. You know,

01:10:31.380 --> 01:10:34.699
he's a butcher, not a... A barber, but it's basically

01:10:34.699 --> 01:10:37.619
the Sweeney Todd. There was such demand for his

01:10:37.619 --> 01:10:40.560
new sausage that Blunt bought the best hogs he

01:10:40.560 --> 01:10:42.819
could find and started raising his own pork.

01:10:43.039 --> 01:10:46.220
He also kept a sharp lookout for humans who might

01:10:46.220 --> 01:10:50.500
make tasty sausage meat. One day, a nice plump

01:10:50.500 --> 01:10:53.260
school teacher came into his shop. Blunt grabbed

01:10:53.260 --> 01:10:55.819
her and ground her up. Another time, Blunt's

01:10:55.819 --> 01:10:59.100
dentist came by. He was a little round man and

01:10:59.100 --> 01:11:01.569
into the grinder he went. To be fair, I've wanted

01:11:01.569 --> 01:11:04.729
to grind up a few dentists as well. But he's

01:11:04.729 --> 01:11:06.510
doing this to people who people will definitely

01:11:06.510 --> 01:11:08.310
notice. Hang on, the teacher's not there, the

01:11:08.310 --> 01:11:10.229
dentist's not there. All of these people perform

01:11:10.229 --> 01:11:13.890
a service. Then, one by one, the children in

01:11:13.890 --> 01:11:16.010
the neighbourhood began to disappear. Oh, that's

01:11:16.010 --> 01:11:18.609
fair enough. And so did the kittens and the puppies.

01:11:19.449 --> 01:11:21.989
That's really going to taint the taste. But no

01:11:21.989 --> 01:11:25.550
one ever dreamed that Blunt the Butcher had anything

01:11:25.550 --> 01:11:28.609
to do with it. What? Oh, you've made this fabulous

01:11:28.609 --> 01:11:31.250
tasting new pies. Some of these taste a bit...

01:11:31.250 --> 01:11:34.430
Ooh, there's a lot of Marbley here. Fat Steve

01:11:34.430 --> 01:11:36.869
the Postman hasn't been around for a while. He's

01:11:36.869 --> 01:11:39.189
on holiday, mate. He's on holiday. Lovely Marbley.

01:11:39.189 --> 01:11:41.989
He moved to Spain. He's one of them expats now.

01:11:42.829 --> 01:11:46.390
Things went on that way for years. Years, I tell

01:11:46.390 --> 01:11:49.529
you. Then one day... Sorry, the years, I tell

01:11:49.529 --> 01:11:52.010
you, was ad -libbing. How big is this town? Then

01:11:52.010 --> 01:11:55.529
one day, Blunt made a big mistake. He put himself

01:11:55.529 --> 01:11:58.750
in the pie. A fat boy came into the butcher shop.

01:11:58.949 --> 01:12:01.130
Blunt grabbed him and started to drag him off

01:12:01.130 --> 01:12:03.529
into the sausage grinder. But the boy broke loose

01:12:03.529 --> 01:12:06.449
and ran out of the shop. And Blunt chased after

01:12:06.449 --> 01:12:10.149
him, waving a big butcher's knife. Get his chopper

01:12:10.149 --> 01:12:16.029
out. When people saw this, they realised at once

01:12:16.029 --> 01:12:17.850
what had become of all the missing children and

01:12:17.850 --> 01:12:20.130
grown -ups and kittens and puppies. An angry

01:12:20.130 --> 01:12:22.569
crowd gathered at the butcher shop. No one knows

01:12:22.569 --> 01:12:25.760
for sure what happened to Blunt that day. Some

01:12:25.760 --> 01:12:29.279
say he was fed to his hogs. Others say that he

01:12:29.279 --> 01:12:32.939
was fed to his sausage grinder. But he was never

01:12:32.939 --> 01:12:37.260
seen again. And neither was his wonderful sausage

01:12:37.260 --> 01:12:41.739
meat. The end. At that point, everyone in town's

01:12:41.739 --> 01:12:45.380
complicit. Yeah. I mean, they've all eaten the

01:12:45.380 --> 01:12:46.500
evidence. Surprised it didn't help him round

01:12:46.500 --> 01:12:49.289
up that kid. Yeah, well. He looks delicious.

01:12:49.869 --> 01:12:54.470
So tasty and plump and round. That fat will go

01:12:54.470 --> 01:13:00.369
such a long way in my larder. OK, so there's

01:13:00.369 --> 01:13:02.350
also one of the sections in this book is like

01:13:02.350 --> 01:13:05.369
slightly funny stories. They're like long jokes,

01:13:05.470 --> 01:13:07.989
basically. So I've picked a long joke to tell

01:13:07.989 --> 01:13:11.159
you. It's called The Church. Less entertaining

01:13:11.159 --> 01:13:13.659
title than, you know, Special Sausage or whatever

01:13:13.659 --> 01:13:18.319
it was called. So, the church. There was a fellow

01:13:18.319 --> 01:13:22.140
named Larry Berger who wasn't afraid of anybody

01:13:22.140 --> 01:13:26.020
alive, but anybody who was dead scared the wits

01:13:26.020 --> 01:13:28.220
out of him. I think they scared the life out

01:13:28.220 --> 01:13:32.640
of him. One night, Larry was out driving in the

01:13:32.640 --> 01:13:34.760
country in his old Jeep when he got caught in

01:13:34.760 --> 01:13:37.159
a bad thunderstorm. The rain was coming down

01:13:37.159 --> 01:13:40.920
in sheets. Since his Jeep didn't have a top to

01:13:40.920 --> 01:13:43.119
it, Larry started looking for a place to take

01:13:43.119 --> 01:13:45.680
shelter. Seems sensible, right? Yeah. You know,

01:13:45.680 --> 01:13:48.800
big rain, no roof, look for shelter. But the

01:13:48.800 --> 01:13:51.380
first place he came to, he didn't even slow down.

01:13:51.619 --> 01:13:54.239
It was an old deserted cabin, probably as dry

01:13:54.239 --> 01:13:56.920
as a bone inside. But Larry knew for a fact that

01:13:56.920 --> 01:13:59.539
it was haunted and he wasn't going to stay in

01:13:59.539 --> 01:14:03.060
there. After a few miles farther, he came to

01:14:03.060 --> 01:14:05.640
an old abandoned church, standing all alone in

01:14:05.640 --> 01:14:08.960
a field. It hadn't been used in years. All the

01:14:08.960 --> 01:14:11.239
window glass was gone, but it still had sections

01:14:11.239 --> 01:14:14.340
of its roof intact, so Larry parked his jeep

01:14:14.340 --> 01:14:17.520
and ran inside. It was as dark as it could be

01:14:17.520 --> 01:14:20.119
in there. Larry groped around until he found

01:14:20.119 --> 01:14:23.939
a pew and sat down. It was nice and dry, just

01:14:23.939 --> 01:14:26.159
as he had thought it would be, and he stretched

01:14:26.159 --> 01:14:29.579
out his legs and made himself comfortable. Suddenly

01:14:29.579 --> 01:14:31.439
there was a big flash of lightning and Larry

01:14:31.439 --> 01:14:34.060
saw that he wasn't the only one in the church.

01:14:34.420 --> 01:14:37.239
There were people sitting in almost every pew.

01:14:37.460 --> 01:14:39.800
They all had their heads bowed as if they were

01:14:39.800 --> 01:14:45.500
praying and they all were dressed in white. These

01:14:45.500 --> 01:14:48.279
must be ghosts sitting in their shrouds, Larry

01:14:48.279 --> 01:14:50.819
thought. They must have come in from the same

01:14:50.819 --> 01:14:55.060
graveyard to get dry. Larry jumped up, ran down

01:14:55.060 --> 01:14:58.300
the aisle as fast as he could. right smack into

01:14:58.300 --> 01:15:06.220
one of the ghosts. And the ghost went, Bah! I

01:15:06.220 --> 01:15:08.579
was wondering as well. Ghosts, they're in the

01:15:08.579 --> 01:15:10.819
forest. These robes are going to shrink up in

01:15:10.819 --> 01:15:14.579
the wet. Oh, we've got to go in. Just had these

01:15:14.579 --> 01:15:18.699
cleaned. Oh, dear. So, yeah, that's two little

01:15:18.699 --> 01:15:21.699
stories from more scary stories than Tell in

01:15:21.699 --> 01:15:24.260
the Dark. I really quite enjoy this book. I'm

01:15:24.260 --> 01:15:25.819
going to read through it all and I'll probably

01:15:25.819 --> 01:15:28.300
bring back a couple of stories. But I like the

01:15:28.300 --> 01:15:31.439
scary jokes. I think they're funny, like witty,

01:15:31.539 --> 01:15:35.909
not clever, but they are fun. Yeah, yeah. For

01:15:35.909 --> 01:15:38.329
kids. Yeah, exactly. It's like, you know, one

01:15:38.329 --> 01:15:40.609
below Goosebumps. Very short Goosebumps -y sort

01:15:40.609 --> 01:15:42.329
of stories. But yeah, kids are going to be telling

01:15:42.329 --> 01:15:44.430
those if they're camping out in the back garden

01:15:44.430 --> 01:15:46.630
or something in a tent. Daft ghost story. Oh,

01:15:46.649 --> 01:15:48.590
you wait till Brian and Henry are old enough.

01:15:48.630 --> 01:15:50.449
I'm going to be reading them some of these, don't

01:15:50.449 --> 01:15:53.069
you worry. Sarah doesn't also. I don't think

01:15:53.069 --> 01:15:55.470
my sister listens to the podcast, so she won't

01:15:55.470 --> 01:15:57.710
know that this is my future plan for her children.

01:15:58.510 --> 01:16:00.949
Around the campfire torch under your chin. That's

01:16:00.949 --> 01:16:04.449
it. Sorry, ghost, I'm not mocking you. I'm not

01:16:04.449 --> 01:16:08.989
mocking you. This episode has turned out to have

01:16:08.989 --> 01:16:11.369
some real paranormal tangents in it and it's

01:16:11.369 --> 01:16:13.390
not even planned, but it's been quite nicely

01:16:13.390 --> 01:16:15.569
synchronous given the book that I was bringing

01:16:15.569 --> 01:16:18.130
along. No mystery noises from the kitchen so

01:16:18.130 --> 01:16:20.470
far. No, that's true. Not that I've heard anyway.

01:16:20.649 --> 01:16:35.600
But yeah, that's my bibliotape. Outro time. Sort

01:16:35.600 --> 01:16:39.140
of. We've pretty much made it to the end of the

01:16:39.140 --> 01:16:42.279
episode, but there are three things that I want

01:16:42.279 --> 01:16:44.079
to mention before we get to the nitty -gritty

01:16:44.079 --> 01:16:47.159
nuts and bolts of metadata and website addresses.

01:16:47.239 --> 01:16:49.340
Some final announcements. Yes, final announcements.

01:16:52.500 --> 01:16:54.300
Dramatic thump on the table. That was a dramatic

01:16:54.300 --> 01:17:01.180
thump on the table. R .I .P. J .V. John Virgo.

01:17:01.760 --> 01:17:06.039
The great man. The great man of snooker, of big

01:17:06.039 --> 01:17:08.939
break, of trick shots and of where's the white

01:17:08.939 --> 01:17:11.899
ball going? Where's the white ball going? I know

01:17:11.899 --> 01:17:13.399
you probably won't get a lot of these references

01:17:13.399 --> 01:17:16.739
because you don't do sport. He died on the 4th

01:17:16.739 --> 01:17:20.520
of February after an illness and I'm really very

01:17:20.520 --> 01:17:23.699
sad about it because he has been around for my

01:17:23.699 --> 01:17:27.600
entire snooker adjacent enjoyingness of life.

01:17:27.920 --> 01:17:31.220
And no longer will his voice be heard. Through

01:17:31.220 --> 01:17:34.539
BBC snooker commentary. And that's very sad.

01:17:34.819 --> 01:17:38.279
So not that his family will be aware. That I'm

01:17:38.279 --> 01:17:40.779
talking about this. But I send my condolences

01:17:40.779 --> 01:17:42.600
to his family. And his friends and those that

01:17:42.600 --> 01:17:46.279
loved him. He was a charismatic man. By all accounts

01:17:46.279 --> 01:17:49.659
a total gentleman. Very funny. And an excellent

01:17:49.659 --> 01:17:52.180
stand up comedian. As well as wonderful snooker

01:17:52.180 --> 01:17:56.739
player. So he will be sadly sadly missed. Second.

01:17:57.380 --> 01:18:01.399
Some good news. Our lovely Simon from Who Takes

01:18:01.399 --> 01:18:04.520
Her Socks Off has dragged his lovely lady away,

01:18:04.600 --> 01:18:06.560
I think, to Scotland and forced her to marry

01:18:06.560 --> 01:18:12.699
him. So... Huge congratulations to you two. Really

01:18:12.699 --> 01:18:15.180
happy for you. Lovely photos on the WhatsApp

01:18:15.180 --> 01:18:18.899
group chat. Yeah. Jane, I don't know what you've

01:18:18.899 --> 01:18:24.409
done to yourself. Run away. run really away um

01:18:24.409 --> 01:18:27.170
but also don't because simon's total gent and

01:18:27.170 --> 01:18:29.750
he's hilarious and i'm really yeah we're all

01:18:29.750 --> 01:18:31.729
very happy for you going to scotland can get

01:18:31.729 --> 01:18:33.970
much further away i know i mean like he didn't

01:18:33.970 --> 01:18:35.789
even tell any of us that they were actually getting

01:18:35.789 --> 01:18:37.770
hitched we knew they'd got engaged but we didn't

01:18:37.770 --> 01:18:39.710
know they'd planned a wedding and then all of

01:18:39.710 --> 01:18:41.949
a sudden we just get this photo in whatsapp of

01:18:41.949 --> 01:18:44.710
simon and jane dressed up in their most beautiful

01:18:44.710 --> 01:18:48.859
wedding garb and i'm like have i missed something

01:18:48.859 --> 01:18:50.680
i because i haven't been paying much attention

01:18:50.680 --> 01:18:52.760
to the chat and i've skipped a few things sorry

01:18:52.760 --> 01:18:56.119
lads that's how you do a private ceremony you

01:18:56.119 --> 01:18:57.640
know but that's you know i thought oh he'd said

01:18:57.640 --> 01:18:59.399
something and i'd missed it and all of a sudden

01:18:59.399 --> 01:19:01.260
he's gotten married but no he didn't tell anybody

01:19:01.260 --> 01:19:04.920
in the network and i think it's because he didn't

01:19:04.920 --> 01:19:06.859
have to invite any of us but anyway none of our

01:19:06.859 --> 01:19:09.300
business well i wouldn't have minded a trip to

01:19:09.300 --> 01:19:11.850
scotland But then I invite myself to all kinds

01:19:11.850 --> 01:19:14.310
of stuff I shouldn't go to. So, you know, ignore

01:19:14.310 --> 01:19:16.810
me. But congratulations to Simon and Jane. We're

01:19:16.810 --> 01:19:18.649
really happy for you. Really, really happy for

01:19:18.649 --> 01:19:21.050
you. You can have some time privately. It doesn't

01:19:21.050 --> 01:19:23.470
have to involve us in everything. Yeah, no. What's

01:19:23.470 --> 01:19:26.390
my podcast for? I've got to let them know. You

01:19:26.390 --> 01:19:27.930
can have some time to yourself, mate. Honestly.

01:19:28.449 --> 01:19:32.010
No. No, that's not fair. You're allowed a life

01:19:32.010 --> 01:19:35.649
outside of us lot. Definitely, definitely disagree

01:19:35.649 --> 01:19:38.170
with that. 100 % disagree. They're all my best

01:19:38.170 --> 01:19:42.279
friends and I love them. Yeah, I love them all.

01:19:42.680 --> 01:19:46.479
I love my boys, my harem of men. And the last

01:19:46.479 --> 01:19:48.699
thing I want to say is a roundup on the Grand

01:19:48.699 --> 01:19:54.600
Sumo tournament. My man, Aonishki, won. And I

01:19:54.600 --> 01:19:57.140
am so pleased for him. He's the first man in

01:19:57.140 --> 01:19:59.960
25 years to win two back -to -back Grand Sumos

01:19:59.960 --> 01:20:06.960
in a row. And he was, it was his first year as

01:20:06.960 --> 01:20:10.420
a... Can't remember what the term is for his

01:20:10.420 --> 01:20:12.359
level, but anyway, he's the first pensioner in

01:20:12.359 --> 01:20:15.600
25 years to come into that tournament fresh -faced

01:20:15.600 --> 01:20:18.800
and win it first time round. So, well done, Ayn

01:20:18.800 --> 01:20:22.520
Ishkey. Cannot wait for next January. Now we

01:20:22.520 --> 01:20:25.340
can do the outro. Thank you very much for listening.

01:20:25.420 --> 01:20:27.800
Once again, you can check out our blogs for every

01:20:27.800 --> 01:20:31.699
episode on our website, lightlyused .co .uk.

01:20:32.239 --> 01:20:35.159
That's our website, our corner of the Channel

01:20:35.159 --> 01:20:37.979
84 website. where you can find our fellow studio

01:20:37.979 --> 01:20:40.640
Channel 84 network shows, The Variety Show with

01:20:40.640 --> 01:20:43.640
TJ and Rob, The Entitled Sci -Fi Show with Rob

01:20:43.640 --> 01:20:47.460
and TJ, and Who Takes the Socks Off? We'll be

01:20:47.460 --> 01:20:55.220
back with Mr. Simon and Ross. Channel84 .co .uk.

01:20:55.380 --> 01:20:58.020
Links to all our socials are on there and all

01:20:58.020 --> 01:21:00.199
our episodes. Thank you very much for listening

01:21:00.199 --> 01:21:04.420
once again. Thank you. Love you. Appreciate you.

01:21:04.920 --> 01:21:07.500
Sorry for the terrible outro. Yeah. Honestly,

01:21:07.619 --> 01:21:10.199
this has been nine times trying to record this

01:21:10.199 --> 01:21:12.319
outro. We say the same thing every episode. I

01:21:12.319 --> 01:21:15.560
don't know why it's so difficult. We try. We

01:21:15.560 --> 01:21:18.779
try so hard for you. Thanks for listening. Shut

01:21:18.779 --> 01:21:21.340
up, shut up, shut up. Let me press stop. Adam

01:21:21.340 --> 01:21:25.180
and Karen have been lightly used. Visit lightlyused

01:21:25.180 --> 01:21:29.079
.co .uk for more. To get in touch, email pod

01:21:29.079 --> 01:21:38.810
at lightlyused .co .uk. Now we can do the outro.

01:21:39.909 --> 01:21:41.470
Oh, I thought you were going to do it as well.

01:21:41.689 --> 01:21:46.729
Oh, right. So thanks for listening. Cheers. We

01:21:46.729 --> 01:21:51.109
appreciate your time. You can find us along with

01:21:51.109 --> 01:21:54.630
our other channels. No. Oh, my God. My brain

01:21:54.630 --> 01:21:57.350
has died. Do we need to do it then? Yes, please.

01:22:00.079 --> 01:22:02.500
Thank you very much for listening. You can find

01:22:02.500 --> 01:22:06.960
us all at... No. Oh, my God, we're going to have

01:22:06.960 --> 01:22:13.659
so many outtakes. Thank you very much for listening.

01:22:13.720 --> 01:22:17.159
You can visit our website, lightlyused .co .uk,

01:22:17.260 --> 01:22:19.760
for our blogs that go along with every single

01:22:19.760 --> 01:22:22.119
podcast, for photos and links to everything we've

01:22:22.119 --> 01:22:25.699
talked about, and also our friends are there.

01:22:25.800 --> 01:22:29.789
Oh, for fuck's sake. Do you want me to try again?

01:22:30.130 --> 01:22:35.850
I'll do one more go. Okay. Thanks very much for

01:22:35.850 --> 01:22:39.590
listening. Check out likelyused .co .uk for our

01:22:39.590 --> 01:22:42.869
part of the website. Oh, fuck's sake. Check out

01:22:42.869 --> 01:22:47.189
likelyused .co .uk for our studio... No, why

01:22:47.189 --> 01:22:49.989
do I keep saying studio? I don't know. Do you

01:22:49.989 --> 01:22:52.760
like me too? Yeah. Okay. Thanks very much for

01:22:52.760 --> 01:22:55.479
listening and putting up with us and all of my

01:22:55.479 --> 01:22:59.300
errs that Adam may or may not have removed whilst

01:22:59.300 --> 01:23:01.479
editing. Hopefully I've done slightly better

01:23:01.479 --> 01:23:04.579
with the swears. You can find information about

01:23:04.579 --> 01:23:08.560
our show at alightlyused .co .uk where you'll

01:23:08.560 --> 01:23:11.359
find blogs and photos to go along with all the

01:23:11.359 --> 01:23:14.720
items from each episode that we record. And you

01:23:14.720 --> 01:23:18.739
will also find in that website, channel84 .co

01:23:18.739 --> 01:23:21.579
.uk, links to our other shows who are part of

01:23:21.579 --> 01:23:25.659
the beautiful independent network of podcasts.

01:23:35.399 --> 01:23:39.670
This was a Studio Channel 84 network show. To

01:23:39.670 --> 01:23:44.430
find more head over to channel 84 .co .uk now.