WEBVTT

00:00:02.330 --> 00:00:04.169
Sorry. Switching my phone off and suddenly a

00:00:04.169 --> 00:00:08.150
bunch of messages come through. Typical. That's

00:00:08.150 --> 00:00:09.869
yours from earlier, so I'll mark that as read.

00:00:12.150 --> 00:00:14.150
What, the one about the rolling pin? Yeah. I

00:00:14.150 --> 00:00:17.170
don't own a rolling pin. It is a random request

00:00:17.170 --> 00:00:19.449
from the bath, I must admit. You could have thought

00:00:19.449 --> 00:00:22.570
anything. That's why I cautiously asked from

00:00:22.570 --> 00:00:24.769
outside the door. Does it have to be a rolling

00:00:24.769 --> 00:00:31.879
pin? Why? What have you got planned in the bath

00:00:31.879 --> 00:00:36.179
there? My back hurts. What the fuck is that?

00:00:37.159 --> 00:00:40.340
Sorry, I'm switching my phone off. No one ever

00:00:40.340 --> 00:00:43.640
rings you. I know. Withheld number. I've been

00:00:43.640 --> 00:00:46.179
having loads. I've been sending them to the voicemail,

00:00:46.200 --> 00:00:48.399
but nobody just leaves a message. Oh, that's

00:00:48.399 --> 00:00:49.880
always super helpful, you know, when you get

00:00:49.880 --> 00:00:51.880
a withheld number and no message. They've been

00:00:51.880 --> 00:00:55.340
ringing shitloads. How bizarre. Surely the second

00:00:55.340 --> 00:00:57.780
time it's, okay, if I need to get hold of you

00:00:57.780 --> 00:01:00.500
that much. Because that's like six calls. Yeah.

00:01:00.840 --> 00:01:04.000
One of those times, if it's that urgent, just

00:01:04.000 --> 00:01:06.299
leave a message. It must be a cold caller. Like

00:01:06.299 --> 00:01:08.560
some stupid call centre wants to ring you and

00:01:08.560 --> 00:01:10.040
try and tell you that someone's trying to break

00:01:10.040 --> 00:01:11.900
into your Google account, but actually it's them.

00:01:12.459 --> 00:01:15.700
Sometimes I've seen numbers where it's been a

00:01:15.700 --> 00:01:18.400
mobile. I've answered those ones. Right. Okay,

00:01:18.819 --> 00:01:21.120
it could be legit, but then if I press answer,

00:01:21.200 --> 00:01:22.900
I don't say anything for a second just to see,

00:01:22.920 --> 00:01:26.069
is it? silent yeah i do that as well you know

00:01:26.069 --> 00:01:28.430
those like telephone bots things that come through

00:01:28.430 --> 00:01:31.829
like you can pick up the phone and not say anything

00:01:31.829 --> 00:01:34.969
and their like little robot voice won't kick

00:01:34.969 --> 00:01:37.409
in until you say something so if you hold the

00:01:37.409 --> 00:01:39.769
phone in your hand silently for 10 minutes it

00:01:39.769 --> 00:01:41.750
just costs them 10 minutes worth of phone call

00:01:41.750 --> 00:01:45.230
or if somebody is there see how long they stay

00:01:45.230 --> 00:01:46.650
on the phone for whilst they're just hearing

00:01:46.650 --> 00:01:49.049
office noises in the background yeah i did try

00:01:49.049 --> 00:01:51.810
to uh do an insurance job once they rang the

00:01:51.810 --> 00:01:54.569
office at work and i was so sick of telling people

00:01:54.569 --> 00:01:56.450
that they were ringing like a cancer ward or

00:01:56.450 --> 00:01:57.969
whatever they weren't ringing a cancer ward but

00:01:57.969 --> 00:01:59.829
they were still ringing a hospital phone number

00:01:59.829 --> 00:02:03.170
um that i kept some guy on the phone for like

00:02:03.170 --> 00:02:05.049
10 minutes i told him i'd had a car crash i'd

00:02:05.049 --> 00:02:07.209
lost both my legs i'd lost the use of one of

00:02:07.209 --> 00:02:09.669
my arms i can't remember what else everyone in

00:02:09.669 --> 00:02:11.270
the office was absolutely pissing themselves

00:02:11.270 --> 00:02:13.050
and he must have been on the phone for 10 minutes

00:02:13.050 --> 00:02:15.210
before he realized i was winding him up it's

00:02:15.210 --> 00:02:17.110
time he's not scamming someone else well yeah

00:02:17.110 --> 00:02:19.159
exactly he did someone else a favor But who do

00:02:19.159 --> 00:02:21.180
you think is ringing you? Any ideas? No idea.

00:02:22.340 --> 00:02:25.460
Yeah, always withheld number. It's not even like

00:02:25.460 --> 00:02:29.020
a geographic number or from Mystery Mobile or

00:02:29.020 --> 00:02:32.199
something, but just withheld. Weird. Just leave

00:02:32.199 --> 00:02:38.740
a message. This is Lightly Used with Adam and

00:02:38.740 --> 00:02:48.810
Karen. Welcome to Lightly Used, episode 37. I'm

00:02:48.810 --> 00:02:51.629
Adam. And I'm Karen. And this might be a very

00:02:51.629 --> 00:02:55.129
short episode because we've left it very late

00:02:55.129 --> 00:02:57.289
in the day to start recording. It is a late one.

00:02:57.330 --> 00:03:00.590
And in fairness, I turned up at yours later than

00:03:00.590 --> 00:03:03.870
I really could have done this afternoon. And

00:03:03.870 --> 00:03:06.310
it took us four hours to do something that really

00:03:06.310 --> 00:03:09.370
should only take us two. And then we sat and

00:03:09.370 --> 00:03:13.849
watched a bit of YouTube. And now we've gotten

00:03:13.849 --> 00:03:15.770
around to recording after I've had a lovely bath.

00:03:15.849 --> 00:03:17.650
Thanks very much. That's all right. Normally

00:03:17.650 --> 00:03:19.830
it's maybe about four o 'clock when we're recording.

00:03:19.870 --> 00:03:22.770
It's 20 to 10. Oh, fuck, is it that late? Oh

00:03:22.770 --> 00:03:25.750
my God, okay. Sorry in advance for any low energies.

00:03:26.009 --> 00:03:29.129
But also, I don't have much to talk about. Nor

00:03:29.129 --> 00:03:32.229
me, in fairness. Just chat and chat episode,

00:03:32.349 --> 00:03:34.330
as you put it. That's all good. That's all good.

00:03:34.629 --> 00:03:37.250
I do have a confession. Oh. To start the show.

00:03:37.310 --> 00:03:40.900
Is it a juicy one? Not really, but you might

00:03:40.900 --> 00:03:44.740
say things about me. Oh. And until you told me

00:03:44.740 --> 00:03:47.020
that my tiny tat cauldron last episode might

00:03:47.020 --> 00:03:49.439
be worth something, I was going to use that as

00:03:49.439 --> 00:03:52.400
my donation item for this episode. Wow, I'm glad

00:03:52.400 --> 00:03:54.419
you didn't do that. But yeah, thank you very

00:03:54.419 --> 00:03:56.400
much for giving that a polish and decoding the

00:03:56.400 --> 00:03:59.659
maker's marks. It was sterling silver and made

00:03:59.659 --> 00:04:02.419
in England. British sterling silver made in Chester

00:04:02.419 --> 00:04:05.979
in 1981. Thank you very much. I couldn't get

00:04:05.979 --> 00:04:08.229
the maker's name though. It's a bit rubbed out.

00:04:08.289 --> 00:04:09.789
I think that side had been polished too hard

00:04:09.789 --> 00:04:12.750
or it wasn't stamped correctly. But more information

00:04:12.750 --> 00:04:14.849
than I had to start with. Yeah, 10 pence well

00:04:14.849 --> 00:04:16.889
invested. It must be worth a fiver on weight

00:04:16.889 --> 00:04:20.569
alone. I was hoping for the £50 that you speculated

00:04:20.569 --> 00:04:23.209
if it was properly full silver. Maybe. I don't

00:04:23.209 --> 00:04:25.110
know what the value of silver is per gram. No,

00:04:25.230 --> 00:04:26.850
we didn't. And we didn't look up the weight per

00:04:26.850 --> 00:04:28.910
gram either. No, but we can do both of those

00:04:28.910 --> 00:04:31.480
things. We might have a further update for you

00:04:31.480 --> 00:04:34.199
next episode. Definitely getting my 10 pence

00:04:34.199 --> 00:04:38.459
worth out of that cauldron. 100%. Maybe I'll

00:04:38.459 --> 00:04:40.500
steal it and start doing witchy spells with it.

00:04:41.740 --> 00:04:43.600
When I saw it, I thought, oh, that could be used

00:04:43.600 --> 00:04:46.360
as a tiny ashtray. Yeah. I've never used it for

00:04:46.360 --> 00:04:49.019
one. I'm never going to now. Good. That's nicely

00:04:49.019 --> 00:04:50.920
polished on the shelf. A little bit of patina

00:04:50.920 --> 00:04:52.800
still on there. Yeah. Just enough to look. I

00:04:52.800 --> 00:04:55.279
only made the little sort of like patch around

00:04:55.279 --> 00:04:58.220
where the hallmarks is. Just more legible. I

00:04:58.220 --> 00:05:00.480
haven't gotten rid of any of the patina. Just

00:05:00.480 --> 00:05:02.420
a bit clearer to see. Just got rid of some of

00:05:02.420 --> 00:05:04.160
the dirt. Yeah, it just looks a little bit brighter

00:05:04.160 --> 00:05:07.000
on the shelf. Yeah. Overall, but yeah, I'm happy

00:05:07.000 --> 00:05:09.459
with that find. Yeah, you should be. Just a 10p

00:05:09.459 --> 00:05:13.839
piece of tat. Oh, you've got two updates as well.

00:05:14.019 --> 00:05:17.600
Have I? Kitten and Cauldron. Oh. No, I should

00:05:17.600 --> 00:05:20.519
have started that way around. Cauldron and Kitten.

00:05:20.699 --> 00:05:22.360
I thought I should start with a confession. Oh,

00:05:22.480 --> 00:05:25.379
hang on. That's all right. We've got the cauldron

00:05:25.379 --> 00:05:26.899
out of the way. We have got the cauldron out

00:05:26.899 --> 00:05:28.579
of the way. And the kitten is now definitely

00:05:28.579 --> 00:05:32.819
too big to fit into it. I think it was from the

00:05:32.819 --> 00:05:34.620
start. Yeah, it probably was. The kitten and

00:05:34.620 --> 00:05:36.420
cauldron does sound like a shit knockoff Harry

00:05:36.420 --> 00:05:39.740
Potter theme park. It does a bit. So Winnie and

00:05:39.740 --> 00:05:43.699
Kiara both went to the vet this week. Kiara had

00:05:43.699 --> 00:05:46.779
a slightly sore eye that I'd been keeping an

00:05:46.779 --> 00:05:50.959
eye on for a few days. And I decided, oh. it

00:05:50.959 --> 00:05:52.720
was best that I took her to go and get checked

00:05:52.720 --> 00:05:55.540
up and when he needed her first sort of like

00:05:55.540 --> 00:05:57.819
kitten appointment she needed to be weighed and

00:05:57.819 --> 00:06:01.160
sexed and jabbed and booked in to have a giblets

00:06:01.160 --> 00:06:05.579
out and a microchip fitted um when it came to

00:06:05.579 --> 00:06:10.040
sexing the cats because on the on the vets she's

00:06:10.040 --> 00:06:12.740
registered as Winter slash Winnie. And they were

00:06:12.740 --> 00:06:14.240
like, have you kept Winter because you don't

00:06:14.240 --> 00:06:15.959
know if it's a boy or a girl? And I was like,

00:06:16.000 --> 00:06:17.879
I think she's a girl, but I'd really like you

00:06:17.879 --> 00:06:20.259
to confirm. But also it's a good name. It is

00:06:20.259 --> 00:06:23.959
a good name. So said vet picks kitten up. She

00:06:23.959 --> 00:06:26.500
immediately arches her back in the refusal of

00:06:26.500 --> 00:06:30.040
don't look at my ass. So this vet is like, he's

00:06:30.040 --> 00:06:32.839
literally on the floor on his knees, holding

00:06:32.839 --> 00:06:35.019
the kitten up towards the light, trying to anchor

00:06:35.019 --> 00:06:37.600
the tail out of the way. And then he goes, oh.

00:06:39.290 --> 00:06:43.850
Oh. It's a bit weird. Hang on a second. Starts

00:06:43.850 --> 00:06:47.449
having a poke around. As you do. Very gently.

00:06:49.329 --> 00:06:55.970
Winter is a Winnie with Winston traits. Oh. Winnie

00:06:55.970 --> 00:06:59.970
has two fluffy little ball sacks. One either

00:06:59.970 --> 00:07:03.250
side of her ladylessness. But they are empty

00:07:03.250 --> 00:07:06.129
and she has no willy. You do have an unusual

00:07:06.129 --> 00:07:10.089
cat. She is technically intersex. But we're going

00:07:10.089 --> 00:07:12.149
with she because that's the most sort of traits

00:07:12.149 --> 00:07:14.790
that she displays. Sticking with winter. Yeah.

00:07:14.889 --> 00:07:18.569
Winter slash Winnie or fuckface or shitbag or

00:07:18.569 --> 00:07:21.170
oi, what do you think you're doing? And don't

00:07:21.170 --> 00:07:23.620
scratch my sofa. Those are all her names. Also,

00:07:23.680 --> 00:07:25.519
got your money's worth out of the vet. Yeah.

00:07:26.000 --> 00:07:28.740
All your training in this one. Yeah, yeah. 160

00:07:28.740 --> 00:07:32.180
quid I spent on them. But in fairness, that does

00:07:32.180 --> 00:07:35.660
cover Winnie's operation to remove her giblets.

00:07:35.959 --> 00:07:38.459
And it covers the rest of her jabs. And it covers

00:07:38.459 --> 00:07:41.439
her microchip as well. So that's not too bad

00:07:41.439 --> 00:07:42.819
in the grand scheme of things. Getting a fair

00:07:42.819 --> 00:07:45.379
bit for it. Yeah, and like Kiara's eye drops

00:07:45.379 --> 00:07:48.279
cost me a couple of quid. That's not too bad.

00:07:48.439 --> 00:07:50.560
Did insurance cover any of that? No, no, no.

00:07:51.310 --> 00:07:53.689
It wasn't really worth it anyway. The excess

00:07:53.689 --> 00:07:56.529
is like 80 quid or something. I would have got

00:07:56.529 --> 00:07:59.430
60 quid back maybe if I was lucky. But no, the

00:07:59.430 --> 00:08:03.069
kitten stuff wouldn't be covered. We are a little

00:08:03.069 --> 00:08:06.009
bit underprepared this episode. Stop telling

00:08:06.009 --> 00:08:09.069
people how unprofessional we are. So because

00:08:09.069 --> 00:08:11.230
we're just winging it, I haven't read a book.

00:08:11.870 --> 00:08:16.290
So there's no Bibliotek in its place. Potentially,

00:08:16.290 --> 00:08:18.329
it's not something we really do on the show.

00:08:18.829 --> 00:08:21.699
Do you fancy a bit of a taste test? Oh, baby,

00:08:22.000 --> 00:08:24.600
put a dreamy in my mouth. Well, I was going to

00:08:24.600 --> 00:08:26.620
say, you might maybe want to save the dreamy

00:08:26.620 --> 00:08:29.139
for last. Oh, is it that bad? We've got some

00:08:29.139 --> 00:08:32.840
knock -off Twinkies. Oh, OK. Yes, those are the

00:08:32.840 --> 00:08:34.460
dreamy things. Those are from Aldi, yeah. There

00:08:34.460 --> 00:08:37.700
are two bags of crisps. There are. Is one of

00:08:37.700 --> 00:08:42.580
them duck? Yeah. First is crispy aromatic duck.

00:08:42.740 --> 00:08:44.840
Ooh. Well, it should be crispy. They're crisps.

00:08:44.899 --> 00:08:50.779
The second one... Curry sauce. No. In theory,

00:08:50.860 --> 00:08:52.879
I thought, oh, that looks nice. I've not been

00:08:52.879 --> 00:08:55.399
brave enough to open them yet. Oh, what are they?

00:08:56.600 --> 00:09:00.399
These are from Asda. Roasted camembert and garlic

00:09:00.399 --> 00:09:04.039
crisps. Okay. Could go either way. They could

00:09:04.039 --> 00:09:07.100
go either way. I'm willing to give them a try,

00:09:07.220 --> 00:09:09.039
as long as you turn the mic off whilst we're

00:09:09.039 --> 00:09:10.720
eating. Just as well, we've got glass and water

00:09:10.720 --> 00:09:12.740
as well. We're going to need them. Although I'm

00:09:12.740 --> 00:09:14.679
much closer to mine than you are to yours, because

00:09:14.679 --> 00:09:16.559
we all know you can't be trusted. Yeah, I'll

00:09:16.559 --> 00:09:19.559
make sure it's on the windowsill, far away, and

00:09:19.559 --> 00:09:22.159
behind you. Yes, yeah, the opposite side of the

00:09:22.159 --> 00:09:23.320
room to Adam. Literally across the other side

00:09:23.320 --> 00:09:24.720
of the room from me. Don't even look at the glass.

00:09:24.779 --> 00:09:26.460
You never know, it might just fall off the coaster

00:09:26.460 --> 00:09:29.899
and explode. Should we start with maybe the duck?

00:09:30.399 --> 00:09:33.179
Yes, can I go through a couple more little chit

00:09:33.179 --> 00:09:36.879
-chat points before we move on to Duck? So, Karen

00:09:36.879 --> 00:09:43.080
has another new thing. Oh, we're still recording,

00:09:43.179 --> 00:09:47.019
but some power's tripped. How weird. Have we

00:09:47.019 --> 00:09:50.940
just blown your socket up? I'll switch that off

00:09:50.940 --> 00:09:54.980
in the wall for sure. How strange. I think it

00:09:54.980 --> 00:09:58.480
might just be that. What? Is the plug tripping?

00:09:59.850 --> 00:10:02.789
I think it's just that. The actual ring light

00:10:02.789 --> 00:10:05.429
is just... You think it's a danger? Because the

00:10:05.429 --> 00:10:08.110
power is still to the sockets there. Okay, so

00:10:08.110 --> 00:10:09.830
there's something wrong with the light. I think

00:10:09.830 --> 00:10:11.809
that might have just blown itself. Okay, we'll

00:10:11.809 --> 00:10:13.350
get rid of the ring light that seems to have

00:10:13.350 --> 00:10:16.009
just committed suicide. I would say on camera,

00:10:16.110 --> 00:10:17.950
but... The camera's not recording. I'm going

00:10:17.950 --> 00:10:19.990
to need that to read Johnny Turnit properly later.

00:10:20.470 --> 00:10:22.929
I'll put the torch on my phone and I'll hold

00:10:22.929 --> 00:10:25.309
it strategically for you. I think I've got a

00:10:25.309 --> 00:10:30.409
work light upstairs. I'll grab that. Okay, so

00:10:30.409 --> 00:10:32.830
before we were ever so rudely interrupted by

00:10:32.830 --> 00:10:36.309
the ring light. I will go and check the fuses

00:10:36.309 --> 00:10:38.110
after as well. Yeah, maybe that's a good idea.

00:10:38.289 --> 00:10:41.350
If something definitely went poof. There was

00:10:41.350 --> 00:10:44.350
a definite poof. I thought the room was going

00:10:44.350 --> 00:10:46.740
to explode. Hopefully it's just we left the smoke

00:10:46.740 --> 00:10:51.759
out of the light and that's it. That can go in

00:10:51.759 --> 00:10:56.080
the bin. The USB thing was quite warm. Yeah,

00:10:56.120 --> 00:11:00.139
I'd say it's blown. We'll give it one more try

00:11:00.139 --> 00:11:02.440
later. I don't think we should. I think it's

00:11:02.440 --> 00:11:07.480
just shat its pants. I think the only thing that's

00:11:07.480 --> 00:11:10.779
safe left on that is... The tripod. The tripod,

00:11:11.100 --> 00:11:12.940
yeah. Everything else needs to go in the bin.

00:11:13.039 --> 00:11:15.379
I think, don't even play with it. Just get rid.

00:11:15.799 --> 00:11:17.840
I might plug it in the extension lead instead

00:11:17.840 --> 00:11:20.360
of straight. Actually, no. That is in an extension.

00:11:20.600 --> 00:11:24.299
Yeah, it is. Safety first. Right, anyway. Karen

00:11:24.299 --> 00:11:28.440
loves sumo wrestling. Oh, yeah? Grand sumo highlights.

00:11:29.210 --> 00:11:32.649
for 15 days in a row on YouTube, Karen has been

00:11:32.649 --> 00:11:35.610
enjoying watching very large men throw themselves

00:11:35.610 --> 00:11:40.409
at other very large men and watching Japanese

00:11:40.409 --> 00:11:43.389
referees dance around in circles really fucking

00:11:43.389 --> 00:11:45.889
fast, trying to avoid the very large men who

00:11:45.889 --> 00:11:48.330
were trying to crash into each other. You don't

00:11:48.330 --> 00:11:49.909
want to get your foot stepped on. I did see one

00:11:49.909 --> 00:11:53.429
judge get squashed. He was fine. He got up straight

00:11:53.429 --> 00:11:56.570
away. It was all very dignified. But it was quiet.

00:11:58.139 --> 00:12:01.039
occupational hazard okay so would you like to

00:12:01.039 --> 00:12:04.539
know some of the names of my favorite sumo wrestlers

00:12:04.539 --> 00:12:07.620
from grand sumo go for it i'll start easy and

00:12:07.620 --> 00:12:13.120
then i'll go hard are you ready yeah rb abi rb

00:12:13.120 --> 00:12:18.899
okay rb yeah shishi shishi okay do you want to

00:12:18.899 --> 00:12:20.779
guess where what country any of these people

00:12:20.779 --> 00:12:23.019
are from because they're not all japanese uh

00:12:23.019 --> 00:12:26.120
no No, I'm not going to guess where people are

00:12:26.120 --> 00:12:28.820
coming from. I think Arby is Japanese. Shishi

00:12:28.820 --> 00:12:32.620
is Ukrainian. And there's another Ukrainian guy

00:12:32.620 --> 00:12:36.519
that also fights in Gran Sumo. And I feel like

00:12:36.519 --> 00:12:38.320
he might be his big brother because he's also

00:12:38.320 --> 00:12:41.000
Ukrainian, but he's one of the later names. So

00:12:41.000 --> 00:12:45.759
we've got, what have I said? Arby, Shishi, Ayunishki.

00:12:46.299 --> 00:12:48.820
Ayunishki? Yeah. I will try and say the names.

00:12:49.279 --> 00:12:52.259
He's the other Ukrainian guy. He's got one of

00:12:52.259 --> 00:12:54.519
the best records as well. I think he's seven

00:12:54.519 --> 00:13:00.799
wins for two losses. The best guy who I love

00:13:00.799 --> 00:13:04.000
the most, I think he's seven for two or eight

00:13:04.000 --> 00:13:08.960
for one, is Wakatakakage. I might skip on that

00:13:08.960 --> 00:13:14.799
one. Brilliant. I love Sumo. It's amazing. And,

00:13:14.820 --> 00:13:18.139
I mean, you know, names aside. those are like

00:13:18.139 --> 00:13:20.779
four of my favorite wrestlers that i will put

00:13:20.779 --> 00:13:23.779
everything down to watch they're brilliant and

00:13:23.779 --> 00:13:25.919
the highlights are only about half an hour long

00:13:25.919 --> 00:13:29.820
uh on youtube and i didn't catch it until day

00:13:29.820 --> 00:13:33.299
five so i spent like two hours watching sumo

00:13:33.299 --> 00:13:35.279
wrestling constantly it was brilliant so much

00:13:35.279 --> 00:13:39.120
better than ww whatever fucking shit they do

00:13:39.120 --> 00:13:42.779
these days and it's real It is real. The muscles

00:13:42.779 --> 00:13:45.679
on those men. I've never seen thighs and arses

00:13:45.679 --> 00:13:49.100
like it. It's insane. Honestly, like, I mean,

00:13:49.100 --> 00:13:52.460
I know they carry a lot of weight. And yes, the

00:13:52.460 --> 00:13:55.120
majority of sumo wrestlers do have a lot of fat

00:13:55.120 --> 00:13:57.860
in their body as well as part of, you know, about

00:13:57.860 --> 00:14:00.480
gaining weight and keeping your strength. But

00:14:00.480 --> 00:14:01.779
underneath... Not going to be much of a sumo

00:14:01.779 --> 00:14:04.279
wrestler otherwise. Yeah, underneath... like

00:14:04.279 --> 00:14:07.779
the insulation they are built like fucking brick

00:14:07.779 --> 00:14:11.519
shithouses there's one guy he's a newbie in the

00:14:11.519 --> 00:14:14.320
grand sumo he's just come up to that league and

00:14:14.320 --> 00:14:16.100
he is pure muscle there's not i don't think there's

00:14:16.100 --> 00:14:18.179
an ounce of fat on him and he comes up to the

00:14:18.179 --> 00:14:20.759
edge and he does like he does like his over shoulder

00:14:20.759 --> 00:14:27.759
punch to the crowd and everyone's like He's really

00:14:27.759 --> 00:14:30.740
short. He's pure muscle. And he is fucking hard

00:14:30.740 --> 00:14:32.740
as nails. And he's brilliant to watch. I can't

00:14:32.740 --> 00:14:34.980
remember his name. Very sorry, Guy. But yeah,

00:14:35.100 --> 00:14:37.840
Karen likes sumo and long -term plans. I will

00:14:37.840 --> 00:14:42.059
go to Tokyo and watch Grand Sumo. It's now on

00:14:42.059 --> 00:14:44.720
my list of dreams. In the meantime, you can give

00:14:44.720 --> 00:14:46.259
me a link to it and I'll put it in the blog.

00:14:46.519 --> 00:14:48.779
Oh, yeah, cool. Everyone can enjoy a bit of sumo.

00:14:48.879 --> 00:14:52.480
Oh, yeah. Wakatakakage. That's a great game.

00:14:52.480 --> 00:14:54.740
I'm still going to try. So many Ks. There's not

00:14:54.740 --> 00:14:57.539
a single C in there. I really want to try a bit

00:14:57.539 --> 00:15:00.960
of margarita. Anyway, you can do your crisps

00:15:00.960 --> 00:15:06.600
now. I'm not sure if I want to. Right, let's

00:15:06.600 --> 00:15:09.799
try the crispy aromatic duck. Crinkle crisps.

00:15:09.879 --> 00:15:13.179
Okie dokie. Apparently there's a classic five

00:15:13.179 --> 00:15:15.600
spice seasoning with them. Let's give them a

00:15:15.600 --> 00:15:24.679
shake first. Shuffling, shuffling. And smell.

00:15:26.259 --> 00:15:32.779
Sniffage. Are they aromatic? Aromatic duck? There's

00:15:32.779 --> 00:15:36.860
definitely a hint of five spice in there. You

00:15:36.860 --> 00:15:41.700
can smell the star anise. Let's try a medium

00:15:41.700 --> 00:15:49.720
sized one. Oh, snap. Cheers. Cheers. Thoughts?

00:15:50.600 --> 00:15:52.570
I could eat some more of those. They're quite

00:15:52.570 --> 00:15:55.409
nice. They're really bloody nice. I really like

00:15:55.409 --> 00:15:58.210
those. The texture is pretty much not quite as

00:15:58.210 --> 00:16:00.450
defined ridge as McCoy's. Definitely crispy,

00:16:00.529 --> 00:16:02.909
though. Yeah, crispy and a strong flavour like

00:16:02.909 --> 00:16:06.429
McCoy's. Yeah, really nicely rounded flavour.

00:16:06.549 --> 00:16:08.830
You can definitely get the five spice in there.

00:16:08.909 --> 00:16:11.470
The star anise, I don't particularly like star

00:16:11.470 --> 00:16:14.070
anise. For anyone who doesn't like star anise,

00:16:14.149 --> 00:16:17.470
these are not overpowered by that one particular

00:16:17.470 --> 00:16:20.360
flavour profile. And you can pick up the peaking

00:16:20.360 --> 00:16:22.240
sauce in the background as well. There's a subtle

00:16:22.240 --> 00:16:24.539
sweetness, like plumminess to it almost. That's

00:16:24.539 --> 00:16:25.879
what I was trying to say is, yeah, trying to

00:16:25.879 --> 00:16:30.019
think of, it's not quite strong to define that's

00:16:30.019 --> 00:16:32.759
definite plum. Like you would if you had the

00:16:32.759 --> 00:16:35.019
takeaway and got the dip for your pancakes. You

00:16:35.019 --> 00:16:38.320
can go, yep, I can slather that. Just the vaguest

00:16:38.320 --> 00:16:42.000
hint there just to accentuate it. Yeah, I rate

00:16:42.000 --> 00:16:44.730
those. They're good. Very decent. I can have

00:16:44.730 --> 00:16:47.590
a drink and we'll try the roasted camembert and

00:16:47.590 --> 00:16:50.870
garlic crisps. We are going to stink after. Paired

00:16:50.870 --> 00:16:55.350
with British potatoes. British. By Asda. Well

00:16:55.350 --> 00:16:59.529
done, Asda, aren't you? British potatoes. I haven't

00:16:59.529 --> 00:17:04.730
been offered any voiceover jobs yet. These are

00:17:04.730 --> 00:17:11.400
from the exceptional range. Yeah, quite a strong

00:17:11.400 --> 00:17:14.980
smell to them. Adam's pulled a pungent face.

00:17:15.220 --> 00:17:17.160
I put my face quite deeply in there. Did you

00:17:17.160 --> 00:17:19.220
do what I did with the pecan ones and just like

00:17:19.220 --> 00:17:22.299
literally put my whole face in the bag? Don't

00:17:22.299 --> 00:17:24.680
do that with these. Okay, I'll bear that in mind.

00:17:24.799 --> 00:17:26.880
I haven't even taken a crisp out yet. I'm still

00:17:26.880 --> 00:17:30.660
recovering. Okay. I'm pretty sure I can smell

00:17:30.660 --> 00:17:32.920
them from here. You probably can. And they're

00:17:32.920 --> 00:17:34.500
a good foot away from my nose. Hang on a second.

00:17:37.359 --> 00:17:39.660
Was that what you could smell? That was what

00:17:39.660 --> 00:17:44.180
I could smell. I can smell roasted garlic. It's

00:17:44.180 --> 00:17:45.700
the cheese that I was getting more of a whiff

00:17:45.700 --> 00:17:48.940
of than the garlic. And the cheese is going right

00:17:48.940 --> 00:17:51.539
into my eyeballs. It's making me blink a bit.

00:17:51.940 --> 00:17:57.619
They... That's my expression. They hum. Like,

00:17:57.799 --> 00:18:02.539
hum. Maybe just a small crisp then. Right, hang

00:18:02.539 --> 00:18:05.779
on, let me... No, I'm going to pick a decent,

00:18:05.880 --> 00:18:08.690
a reasonable... Oh, fuck me. A reasonable -sized

00:18:08.690 --> 00:18:10.470
crisp. Look on the back of that. It's got a decent

00:18:10.470 --> 00:18:11.890
bit of coating on there. Oh, yeah, but there

00:18:11.890 --> 00:18:14.089
is a hole as well, though, so I'm not eating

00:18:14.089 --> 00:18:17.130
as much crisp as I could. If you're taking a...

00:18:17.130 --> 00:18:19.690
I'll take one that's folded over. I just hit

00:18:19.690 --> 00:18:21.490
my mic then, sorry. Decent bit on there, too.

00:18:21.750 --> 00:18:32.569
Okay. Wish us luck. Bottoms up. Adam's only put

00:18:32.569 --> 00:18:34.869
the mics up because I'm pulling faces and making

00:18:34.869 --> 00:18:37.650
noises of disgust. Gosh. It wasn't as good as

00:18:37.650 --> 00:18:44.930
your initial reaction of... Oh, my God. I know

00:18:44.930 --> 00:18:48.369
how another podcast host feels about certain

00:18:48.369 --> 00:18:51.470
things now. Yeah, I don't think I'll be finishing

00:18:51.470 --> 00:18:54.789
that bag of crisps. Do you want the duck one

00:18:54.789 --> 00:18:56.509
to take the taste away? I might have to. I'm

00:18:56.509 --> 00:18:59.309
just going to lick one. I'm going to turn your

00:18:59.309 --> 00:19:04.680
mic down a second. Because I was going to talk

00:19:04.680 --> 00:19:09.079
to you and I made even more noise. Oh, stop now.

00:19:12.839 --> 00:19:17.500
The roasted camembert and garlic crisps didn't

00:19:17.500 --> 00:19:21.259
taste as bad as they smelled to me. I will only

00:19:21.259 --> 00:19:22.960
have the one crisp, though. I'm not going to

00:19:22.960 --> 00:19:26.119
go back for any more. Karen didn't seem as offended

00:19:26.119 --> 00:19:30.880
by the smell as I was. The smell was more bearable

00:19:30.880 --> 00:19:35.480
than the flavour. instantly did not like the

00:19:35.480 --> 00:19:37.799
taste of it i mean that went in my mouth and

00:19:37.799 --> 00:19:40.940
there was it was almost as visceral a reaction

00:19:40.940 --> 00:19:45.900
as i had to mr blobby it's deeply unpleasant

00:19:45.900 --> 00:19:52.000
in a multitude of ways um it's too overpowering

00:19:52.000 --> 00:19:57.079
in the umami foot flavor the smell seems to get

00:19:57.079 --> 00:19:59.740
stronger when it's in your mouth which i guess

00:19:59.740 --> 00:20:01.799
makes sense because you know of where pipes end

00:20:01.799 --> 00:20:06.380
and shit and Small membranes. But it's got that

00:20:06.380 --> 00:20:10.000
sort of like weird hot spiciness you get with

00:20:10.000 --> 00:20:15.180
over roasted garlic. And then the camembert is

00:20:15.180 --> 00:20:17.160
doing nothing to cut through that. It's just

00:20:17.160 --> 00:20:21.900
pure sort of an attack on your savoury taste

00:20:21.900 --> 00:20:25.960
buds. And it's deeply unpleasant to me. Overwhelming.

00:20:26.240 --> 00:20:29.119
Yeah. I'm definitely going to need a drink of

00:20:29.119 --> 00:20:33.039
water. Gross. Don't get those ones. They're horrid.

00:20:34.599 --> 00:20:40.980
The food demon just walked over my grave. Shall

00:20:40.980 --> 00:20:45.779
we go for the dessert? Okay. Anything's got to

00:20:45.779 --> 00:20:50.460
be better than eating raw feet. The knock -off

00:20:50.460 --> 00:20:54.319
Twinkies. Baking Buddy Dreamies. I got these

00:20:54.319 --> 00:20:58.559
in... They've got an American and Mexican sort

00:20:58.559 --> 00:21:00.740
of selection of food going on there at the moment.

00:21:00.859 --> 00:21:02.900
Oh, cool. Best before 16th of June this year.

00:21:03.759 --> 00:21:06.640
Net weight, 50 grams. It says there, golden sponge

00:21:06.640 --> 00:21:10.980
cake with creamy marshmallow style filling. Okay,

00:21:11.039 --> 00:21:15.559
so there's not even marshmallow. They're not

00:21:15.559 --> 00:21:19.400
easy to open. Oh, I couldn't open mine, so I've

00:21:19.400 --> 00:21:21.019
resorted to my teeth. And just as I'm saying

00:21:21.019 --> 00:21:22.660
they're not easy to open, Adam goes, ta -da!

00:21:23.089 --> 00:21:25.390
Here's my cake out of its wrapper before you

00:21:25.390 --> 00:21:28.150
blinked. Some of the cake is stuck to the wrapper.

00:21:28.430 --> 00:21:32.029
Yes, some of, like, like it would if you'd got,

00:21:32.109 --> 00:21:34.190
like, an angel cake or a walnut cake from the

00:21:34.190 --> 00:21:35.809
shop and it's got the paper on the bottom, you

00:21:35.809 --> 00:21:37.170
get a bit of cake stuck to the bottom of the

00:21:37.170 --> 00:21:39.170
paper, yeah. A couple of Twinkies I've had that

00:21:39.170 --> 00:21:42.509
doesn't happen to it. They smell Twinkie. They

00:21:42.509 --> 00:21:45.650
feel exactly the same as Twinkies. They feel

00:21:45.650 --> 00:21:51.140
very dense and moist. Right. Oh, I'll get one

00:21:51.140 --> 00:21:53.440
of the lots of marshmallow filling nozzle a hole

00:21:53.440 --> 00:22:11.940
in the end there. What I was so delicately...

00:22:11.940 --> 00:22:13.559
Did you say... Were you saying something else

00:22:13.559 --> 00:22:15.799
there? What I was so delicately trying to say

00:22:15.799 --> 00:22:20.079
was... Look at the amount of filling. There's

00:22:20.079 --> 00:22:23.279
so much. I thought you were somehow surprised.

00:22:23.539 --> 00:22:25.180
I thought, well, you pointed out the holes to

00:22:25.180 --> 00:22:28.140
me. Didn't we have knockoff Twinkies like two

00:22:28.140 --> 00:22:30.980
years ago that had, they had like two holes in

00:22:30.980 --> 00:22:33.440
the bottom and then there was like no filling.

00:22:33.480 --> 00:22:35.940
And we were commenting on how little filling

00:22:35.940 --> 00:22:38.640
there is. That's why I'm going, oh my God, there's

00:22:38.640 --> 00:22:43.920
so much filling. It's like a Twinkie, over, over

00:22:43.920 --> 00:22:49.509
sweet. But it's pretty damn close. It's like

00:22:49.509 --> 00:22:53.210
the marshmallow fluff you get for sandwich spreads.

00:22:54.589 --> 00:22:59.190
Maybe if we try it out of the fridge. Or microwaved.

00:23:00.630 --> 00:23:03.369
I wish I could remember how much they were. They

00:23:03.369 --> 00:23:06.650
were actually quite nice. I mean, I know Twinkies

00:23:06.650 --> 00:23:08.150
are supposed to be like the devil's food and

00:23:08.150 --> 00:23:10.750
the only things that will survive nuclear fallout

00:23:10.750 --> 00:23:13.250
other than the cockroaches. That's where these

00:23:13.250 --> 00:23:16.529
differ. They're only valid till June. Ah, there

00:23:16.529 --> 00:23:20.779
we are then. In terms of a golden sponge that

00:23:20.779 --> 00:23:23.920
is filled with a marshmallow style spread. You

00:23:23.920 --> 00:23:27.700
know, really good. Very sugary. Very close approximations,

00:23:27.700 --> 00:23:30.640
Twinkie. Just as dense. Yeah, definitely just

00:23:30.640 --> 00:23:32.859
as dense. They leave like a greasy film on your

00:23:32.859 --> 00:23:36.140
fingers, which I suppose if you roll your cigarettes

00:23:36.140 --> 00:23:38.880
will come in real handy because the worst thing

00:23:38.880 --> 00:23:40.900
ever is washing your hands and then trying to

00:23:40.900 --> 00:23:44.500
roll a cigarette. That just doesn't happen. Shout

00:23:44.500 --> 00:23:48.859
out to my fellow rolly buds. Yeah, they were

00:23:48.859 --> 00:23:53.519
all right. Yeah. Six dreamies from Aldi. Don't

00:23:53.519 --> 00:23:55.180
tell me how many calories there are, Poe, because

00:23:55.180 --> 00:24:01.319
I ate that whole thing. With glee. What's next?

00:24:01.759 --> 00:24:04.680
In lieu of the book report, we've had some snacks.

00:24:06.339 --> 00:24:08.660
We've got another chapter of Johnny Turnip's

00:24:08.660 --> 00:24:11.160
Misadventures on the way. We have a tat in the

00:24:11.160 --> 00:24:14.039
box, plus a featured donation item each. We do.

00:24:14.380 --> 00:24:18.839
And if we've got time, we'll round off with a

00:24:18.839 --> 00:24:22.720
game of Sky Joe. Ski -ho? Who are you calling

00:24:22.720 --> 00:24:27.859
a ski -ho? Ski -o! Ski -o! Ski -o! No idea how

00:24:27.859 --> 00:24:40.200
to pronounce that still. It's time for another

00:24:40.200 --> 00:24:45.220
instalment of Likely Used News. Abigavennyman

00:24:45.220 --> 00:24:48.759
claims he can prove mermaids exist. Oh, nice.

00:24:49.059 --> 00:24:51.700
By Tim Butters. at the Epic of Any Chronicle

00:24:51.700 --> 00:24:56.720
on Monday 9th September 2024. For centuries,

00:24:56.940 --> 00:24:59.599
stories of half -fish, half -female creatures

00:24:59.599 --> 00:25:02.259
splashing around in the sea have haunted sailors

00:25:02.259 --> 00:25:04.420
and captured the imaginations of children everywhere.

00:25:05.059 --> 00:25:08.200
Yet, much like fairies, vampires and aliens,

00:25:08.559 --> 00:25:11.259
no one has been able to prove mermaids exist.

00:25:12.259 --> 00:25:17.180
Until perhaps now. Semi -professional paranormal

00:25:17.180 --> 00:25:20.400
investigator Johnny Turnip has made the audacious

00:25:20.400 --> 00:25:22.880
claim that not only will he prove mermaids are

00:25:22.880 --> 00:25:25.460
real, but he intends to capture one and make

00:25:25.460 --> 00:25:28.059
it cry in a bid to save Mother Earth from an

00:25:28.059 --> 00:25:31.740
extinction -level event. It all began at this

00:25:31.740 --> 00:25:33.559
year's Green Man Festival when I experienced

00:25:33.559 --> 00:25:35.859
an out -of -body experience and took a trip to

00:25:35.859 --> 00:25:39.660
the Astral Realms, explained Turnip. It was the

00:25:39.660 --> 00:25:41.980
strangest thing. One minute I was sitting and

00:25:41.980 --> 00:25:44.359
drinking with the boys, the next minute my mind

00:25:44.359 --> 00:25:46.400
was yanked like a disobedient dog on a chain

00:25:46.400 --> 00:25:49.000
to another dimension. It was like travelling

00:25:49.000 --> 00:25:51.039
at great speed through a psychedelic tunnel.

00:25:51.519 --> 00:25:53.380
To be honest, it reminded me a lot of the intro

00:25:53.380 --> 00:25:55.339
to a TV show I used to watch when I was a kid

00:25:55.339 --> 00:25:59.220
called Jamie Has Magic Torch. Great show. We

00:25:59.220 --> 00:26:00.579
mentioned that the other day, didn't we? I'm

00:26:00.579 --> 00:26:03.099
sure we did. Absolutely fucking banging theme

00:26:03.099 --> 00:26:06.259
tune. Yeah, did have the best one. After what

00:26:06.259 --> 00:26:08.779
seemed like an eternity, but in hindsight was

00:26:08.779 --> 00:26:11.420
probably only a few seconds, I found myself suddenly

00:26:11.420 --> 00:26:13.759
walking on a beach under a night sky that was

00:26:13.759 --> 00:26:16.299
absolutely loaded with stars of all shapes and

00:26:16.299 --> 00:26:18.720
colours. It was a bit like that painting by Van

00:26:18.720 --> 00:26:21.599
Gogh, but even more psychedelic. He wouldn't

00:26:21.599 --> 00:26:23.180
have cut his ear off if he could see what I saw,

00:26:23.220 --> 00:26:26.319
I can tell you. Turnip added, after wandering

00:26:26.319 --> 00:26:28.220
alone for a bit and thinking about going for

00:26:28.220 --> 00:26:29.720
a skinny dip in the water because I was getting

00:26:29.720 --> 00:26:32.339
a bit bored, things started to get a little weird

00:26:32.339 --> 00:26:34.460
when Elsa from Frozen was walking towards me.

00:26:35.079 --> 00:26:37.319
She was grinning a bit too manic for my liking

00:26:37.319 --> 00:26:40.099
and singing Let It Go. However, when she was

00:26:40.099 --> 00:26:42.640
about six feet away, Elsa turned into Mary Poppins,

00:26:42.799 --> 00:26:45.140
who in turn began singing A Spoonful of Sugar.

00:26:45.900 --> 00:26:48.299
She came closer and closer until at the last

00:26:48.299 --> 00:26:50.759
minute she turned into the White Witch of Narnia,

00:26:50.920 --> 00:26:54.319
got right in my face and said, Fancy a Turkish

00:26:54.319 --> 00:26:58.460
delight, Turner? Keep your truffles for lesser

00:26:58.460 --> 00:26:59.920
men and tell me who the hell you are, woman,

00:27:00.099 --> 00:27:03.900
I snarled. Woman? She exclaimed with an amused

00:27:03.900 --> 00:27:05.720
look on her face, the features of which kept

00:27:05.720 --> 00:27:07.420
changing between the three Hollywood witches.

00:27:08.200 --> 00:27:12.220
I am no mere woman. I am Gaia, the triple goddess,

00:27:12.519 --> 00:27:15.980
who is the maiden, mother and crone. Lack of

00:27:15.980 --> 00:27:19.160
respect amuses me, little root vegetable. Laugh

00:27:19.160 --> 00:27:22.779
it up, lady, I said, but I'm a busy man. So tell

00:27:22.779 --> 00:27:24.539
me what you want and I'll be on my way. And if

00:27:24.539 --> 00:27:26.099
you're involved putting up a shelf, you can do

00:27:26.099 --> 00:27:30.259
one. Turnip added. At this point, she began laughing

00:27:30.259 --> 00:27:34.019
softly and said, Oh, Turnip, how ridiculous you

00:27:34.019 --> 00:27:36.839
and your kind are. But like all men, you have

00:27:36.839 --> 00:27:39.920
your uses. And as it happens, I'm in need of

00:27:39.920 --> 00:27:42.000
one touched by the hand of fate and blessed with

00:27:42.000 --> 00:27:45.180
dumb luck. For some reason, when she said this,

00:27:45.220 --> 00:27:47.680
I was compelled to get on one knee, take her

00:27:47.680 --> 00:27:52.940
hand, and say, My lady, I live to serve. And

00:27:52.940 --> 00:27:55.079
at that moment, I can honestly say I would have

00:27:55.079 --> 00:27:57.940
laid down my life for her. Which is weird, because

00:27:57.940 --> 00:28:00.000
I've always been more of a treat them mean, keep

00:28:00.000 --> 00:28:03.039
them keen kind of fella. Turnip told the Chronicle,

00:28:03.160 --> 00:28:05.539
This mysterious woman asked me to walk with her.

00:28:05.599 --> 00:28:07.299
I went on to explain the reason she'd summoned

00:28:07.299 --> 00:28:09.599
me to the Astral Realms was because the caretaker

00:28:09.599 --> 00:28:11.670
of Mother Earth who she called her green man,

00:28:11.849 --> 00:28:14.049
had got a bit lazy in recent centuries and wasn't

00:28:14.049 --> 00:28:16.130
taking care of business the way he should. She

00:28:16.130 --> 00:28:19.369
explained, Old Hearn used to be a reliable sort.

00:28:19.549 --> 00:28:21.869
He'd make sure the rivers ran clean, there remained

00:28:21.869 --> 00:28:24.369
pure, the forest flourished, and all life was

00:28:24.369 --> 00:28:27.049
acknowledged as sacred. He also ensured that

00:28:27.049 --> 00:28:29.210
all those who knew the land as their mother respected

00:28:29.210 --> 00:28:32.430
her boundaries and conditions. Yet over time

00:28:32.430 --> 00:28:34.410
I'm afraid he's become somewhat disillusioned

00:28:34.410 --> 00:28:37.769
and a little lazy. That, and his supply of mermaid

00:28:37.769 --> 00:28:41.009
tears ran out over a century ago. Mermaid tears,

00:28:41.269 --> 00:28:45.549
I said. What sort of freak drinks that? My lady

00:28:45.549 --> 00:28:48.009
just chuckled and said, For time -out -of -mind

00:28:48.009 --> 00:28:50.390
adventurers, philosophers, pirates and poets

00:28:50.390 --> 00:28:52.650
would seek the tears of a mermaid, bottle them

00:28:52.650 --> 00:28:54.309
and leave them as tribute in one of the green

00:28:54.309 --> 00:28:57.390
man's many shrines. You know, the foot of a tree

00:28:57.390 --> 00:28:59.920
or something like that. When Hearn drinks that

00:28:59.920 --> 00:29:02.319
rarest of beverages, it energises him and he

00:29:02.319 --> 00:29:05.500
really performs above and beyond his duty. Sadly,

00:29:05.619 --> 00:29:07.660
his cellar has long since run dry and now he's

00:29:07.660 --> 00:29:09.839
gone into withdrawal and just stomps around the

00:29:09.839 --> 00:29:12.319
place all lethargic and moody. The bottom line

00:29:12.319 --> 00:29:14.759
is, for me to thrive, I need him firing on all

00:29:14.759 --> 00:29:16.900
cylinders. And the only way he can do that is

00:29:16.900 --> 00:29:19.839
to capture a mermaid and make her cry. Obviously,

00:29:19.940 --> 00:29:22.319
one such as I could not commit such an act so

00:29:22.319 --> 00:29:25.140
coarse and vulgar. I shudder at the very thought.

00:29:25.700 --> 00:29:28.119
But... You and your pals have no such reservations

00:29:28.119 --> 00:29:30.140
by getting your hands dirty in pursuit of the

00:29:30.140 --> 00:29:32.660
supernatural? After a thank you, my lady, for

00:29:32.660 --> 00:29:34.759
the compliment, I asked, what would you have

00:29:34.759 --> 00:29:39.819
us do? Why, turnip, isn't it obvious? We must

00:29:39.819 --> 00:29:42.720
catch a mermaid, bottle her tears, and save Mother

00:29:42.720 --> 00:29:47.220
Earth. Yes, I roared. I will succeed where Greta

00:29:47.220 --> 00:29:50.220
and Gestop oil failed. Facing works of art and

00:29:50.220 --> 00:29:52.299
lying in the roads, that'll amount to nothing

00:29:52.299 --> 00:29:56.559
in the long run. But hunting mermaids? That's

00:29:56.559 --> 00:29:59.319
a different story. Send me back to my dimension,

00:29:59.440 --> 00:30:02.279
my lady, and I will do your bidding, I urged.

00:30:02.880 --> 00:30:05.460
Chuckling mischievously and doing a little curtsy

00:30:05.460 --> 00:30:07.740
that started as Elsa but finished as Mary Poppins,

00:30:07.960 --> 00:30:10.960
my lady waved a wand and my consciousness slammed

00:30:10.960 --> 00:30:14.299
back into my cranium like a freight train. Before

00:30:14.299 --> 00:30:17.099
you could say, what a trip. I was back sitting

00:30:17.099 --> 00:30:18.740
in the grass bank at the Green Man Festival,

00:30:18.940 --> 00:30:21.000
and I don't think Puerto Rico Paul or Big Tony

00:30:21.000 --> 00:30:23.259
had noticed I'd been gone. They were too busy

00:30:23.259 --> 00:30:25.549
arguing about the ending of Sopranos. It took

00:30:25.549 --> 00:30:27.130
me a few seconds to get my head screwed back

00:30:27.130 --> 00:30:30.410
on properly before I could say, So, did you notice

00:30:30.410 --> 00:30:31.990
anything different about me in the last ten minutes,

00:30:32.089 --> 00:30:36.329
lads? Yeah, said Big Tony. Your eyes rolled into

00:30:36.329 --> 00:30:37.589
the back of your head and you started singing

00:30:37.589 --> 00:30:39.910
Let It Go over and over again for about ten minutes.

00:30:40.690 --> 00:30:42.930
Just put it down to the drugs, but you look alright

00:30:42.930 --> 00:30:46.630
now. Thanks for your concern, chaps, I sighed.

00:30:47.349 --> 00:30:49.970
Anyhow, my mental state isn't important. Saving

00:30:49.970 --> 00:30:53.839
Mother Earth is. I feel a caper coming on. said

00:30:53.839 --> 00:30:56.759
Puerto Rico Paul somewhat warily. All right you

00:30:56.759 --> 00:30:59.859
are, Paul, I barked, but this time there's a

00:30:59.859 --> 00:31:02.420
lot at stake. We need to catch a mermaid and

00:31:02.420 --> 00:31:05.359
make her cry. How do you catch a mermaid, little

00:31:05.359 --> 00:31:08.019
old maker, cry? asked Big Tony with a noted lack

00:31:08.019 --> 00:31:10.900
of enthusiasm. Same way you do to all females,

00:31:11.220 --> 00:31:15.619
said Paul. Tell her she smells of fish. At Paul's

00:31:15.619 --> 00:31:17.339
quip, we all laughed like a gang of immature

00:31:17.339 --> 00:31:20.019
scallywags before I had to step into the uncomfortable

00:31:20.019 --> 00:31:22.990
shoes of the boring walkster and warn. Lots riding

00:31:22.990 --> 00:31:25.089
on this quest, boys, so let's cut the jokes out,

00:31:25.150 --> 00:31:28.589
drink up and get going. We've only just got here,

00:31:28.890 --> 00:31:31.450
moaned Paul. Can't we at least stay to watch

00:31:31.450 --> 00:31:35.930
Jesus and Mary chain? OK, I agreed. For the sake

00:31:35.930 --> 00:31:38.130
of the 1980s, we'll have one last blowout tonight,

00:31:38.329 --> 00:31:40.869
and then in the morning, or more like the afternoon,

00:31:41.150 --> 00:31:44.369
we'll go west, find ourselves a mermaid, bottle

00:31:44.369 --> 00:31:48.009
of tears and restore balance to the world. To

00:31:48.009 --> 00:31:54.690
be continued. I think you're guessing first this

00:31:54.690 --> 00:31:59.369
time. I think you might be right. Anyway, it's

00:31:59.369 --> 00:32:04.450
time for... I'm going to try and do it in one

00:32:04.450 --> 00:32:06.269
breath. Hang on, hang on, hang on. Big breathe

00:32:06.269 --> 00:32:12.490
in. Oh, that's weird. Don't move it off. Fail.

00:32:13.750 --> 00:32:16.109
It's time for... Tighten the box. Tighten the

00:32:16.109 --> 00:32:19.109
box. Tighten the box. Tighten the box. Tighten

00:32:19.109 --> 00:32:21.890
the box. Tighten the box. Tighten the box. Tighten

00:32:21.890 --> 00:32:27.769
the box. plenty of air left i actually made myself

00:32:27.769 --> 00:32:29.829
dizzy doing that that was stupid right i'm guessing

00:32:29.829 --> 00:32:32.789
first so i'll move my book out the way i'm gonna

00:32:32.789 --> 00:32:41.349
grab your box as you love claws in my eyes did

00:32:41.349 --> 00:32:45.289
you want to guess the donation item first i think

00:32:45.289 --> 00:32:47.730
we're sort of doing that now aren't we yeah i

00:32:47.730 --> 00:32:50.170
can't remember what we're doing let's do donation

00:32:50.170 --> 00:32:54.000
first keep second Is it another piece of clothing?

00:32:55.099 --> 00:33:01.599
Yes. It's not even on the table yet. My psychic

00:33:01.599 --> 00:33:06.819
powers are going stronger. Oh, it's an hat. Oh,

00:33:07.019 --> 00:33:09.339
is this your old man's hat from the back of the

00:33:09.339 --> 00:33:15.180
McCadeys? Yes. For ladies and gentlemen and everyone

00:33:15.180 --> 00:33:21.429
else listening, it is a Tweedish. Yeah. Canada

00:33:21.429 --> 00:33:25.529
made for C &A. Yeah, I'll be honest, I only found

00:33:25.529 --> 00:33:29.210
out it was C &A this year, a month or two ago.

00:33:29.670 --> 00:33:31.950
I thought it was just a new item for the charity

00:33:31.950 --> 00:33:34.150
shop. I think it was British Home... British

00:33:34.150 --> 00:33:36.609
Home Store. British Heart Foundation. Because

00:33:36.609 --> 00:33:38.910
I had the Mercedes and the old man car, I bought

00:33:38.910 --> 00:33:41.369
the hat to dress it up, essentially, and to stick

00:33:41.369 --> 00:33:44.630
it on the parcel shelf in the back. Too small

00:33:44.630 --> 00:33:47.549
for my head. I think it cost between three and

00:33:47.549 --> 00:33:50.940
maybe four pounds. I threw out the card ages

00:33:50.940 --> 00:33:54.559
ago. I thought it was new because it looks unworn.

00:33:54.599 --> 00:33:57.200
There's no sort of stains around the headband

00:33:57.200 --> 00:33:58.359
or anything. Can I speak into my microphone?

00:33:58.579 --> 00:34:02.400
It does look unworn. It does look unworn. I can't

00:34:02.400 --> 00:34:06.859
get my words out. It's a size 56 or 6 7 8 to

00:34:06.859 --> 00:34:11.010
anyone who measures heads. Oh, that's one thing

00:34:11.010 --> 00:34:12.730
I forgot to do is to measure the circumference.

00:34:12.789 --> 00:34:14.389
I'm glad there's a label in there to say how

00:34:14.389 --> 00:34:16.650
big it is. There is a label. It is a 56 or six

00:34:16.650 --> 00:34:22.530
and seven eighths. Is that across the six and

00:34:22.530 --> 00:34:24.590
seven eighths? Because it can't be around because

00:34:24.590 --> 00:34:26.789
there's no way that's six inches. I guess hat

00:34:26.789 --> 00:34:29.369
wearers know. If you're a hat wearer and know

00:34:29.369 --> 00:34:32.090
how big your head is, by what size is it? A six,

00:34:32.130 --> 00:34:34.789
did you say? A six and seven eighths or a 56.

00:34:35.869 --> 00:34:39.030
If any of those make any... sense to you yeah

00:34:39.030 --> 00:34:41.309
you're welcome to get in touch and claim this

00:34:41.309 --> 00:34:43.329
hat before we send it to the charity shop yeah

00:34:43.329 --> 00:34:46.190
absolutely you've got until let's say the first

00:34:46.190 --> 00:34:49.469
of march yeah all right at lightlyused .co .uk

00:34:49.469 --> 00:34:51.909
if you want to claim any of our tat but we're

00:34:51.909 --> 00:34:53.650
donating mind you we've already got matt's address

00:34:53.650 --> 00:34:56.400
we could just send it en masse to him Just as

00:34:56.400 --> 00:35:00.280
a laugh. Unlabelled. Just an address label. No

00:35:00.280 --> 00:35:03.340
letter. Just a box full of shit. I'm pretty sure

00:35:03.340 --> 00:35:06.280
that that's a return address and we don't want

00:35:06.280 --> 00:35:08.760
to start that chain of events. Just put a PA

00:35:08.760 --> 00:35:17.019
box as a return address. We'd like... No. How

00:35:17.019 --> 00:35:19.320
many PA boxes can it get sent to? Like chain

00:35:19.320 --> 00:35:22.119
mail before someone goes, fuck it. Are there

00:35:22.119 --> 00:35:24.079
any companies that have sent me loads of posts?

00:35:24.809 --> 00:35:28.550
Oh, we could send it to ****. **** can be the

00:35:28.550 --> 00:35:31.230
return address. We don't need to recommend sending

00:35:31.230 --> 00:35:38.010
that. Moving swiftly on. To the keeping of the

00:35:38.010 --> 00:35:47.210
tat. Okay. Okay. It's between your hands. Oh,

00:35:47.409 --> 00:35:52.650
it's a small thing. It appears to have a flat

00:35:52.650 --> 00:36:00.460
bottom. Hmm. It could be some sort of rubber

00:36:00.460 --> 00:36:06.659
chicken. Material's kind of right. It's definitely

00:36:06.659 --> 00:36:10.440
like squeaky. Well, it might not have had a squeak

00:36:10.440 --> 00:36:12.500
in it, but it's got a safety hole in it. Well,

00:36:12.539 --> 00:36:16.920
no, because there's only one hole. That's meant

00:36:16.920 --> 00:36:20.920
to be there. What, the hole? It's a design feature,

00:36:21.019 --> 00:36:24.380
the hole. That could be an arm. That could be

00:36:24.380 --> 00:36:30.280
an arm, which makes those hands. It's not a safety

00:36:30.280 --> 00:36:32.679
feature. It's part of the purpose of it. That

00:36:32.679 --> 00:36:35.340
could be a golf club. Was it a squeaky thing?

00:36:35.400 --> 00:36:41.099
Or is it to fire water at? Like a bath toy. There

00:36:41.099 --> 00:36:44.420
we go. Is it like, I don't know, like a... It's

00:36:44.420 --> 00:36:46.679
the wrong shape. You're right, it's a water squirter.

00:36:47.000 --> 00:36:49.880
It could be an M &M holding, like, I don't know.

00:36:51.920 --> 00:36:55.000
Some golf clubs or something? A super soaker?

00:36:55.780 --> 00:37:01.619
No, it's an animal. It's an animal. The head

00:37:01.619 --> 00:37:04.619
shape of one. Otherwise, I'll give it to you

00:37:04.619 --> 00:37:07.460
from the water squirter. So that's not ears?

00:37:07.760 --> 00:37:11.639
No. That's a protrusion of some sort. Nor the

00:37:11.639 --> 00:37:13.219
bit where your thumb is there, not ears either.

00:37:13.480 --> 00:37:15.599
And this is face? Where I thought could be arms?

00:37:15.860 --> 00:37:19.869
Yes. So this is nose? No. Where your thumb's

00:37:19.869 --> 00:37:22.570
other hand is, your right hand. Sorry, left hand

00:37:22.570 --> 00:37:27.170
is the nose. This is the nose? Yes. So when I

00:37:27.170 --> 00:37:30.489
asked, is this the head, and you said no. Sorry,

00:37:30.630 --> 00:37:37.070
I missed you. It's all right. It's all a head.

00:37:37.409 --> 00:37:42.809
It's all a head. Does it have a face? It's a

00:37:42.809 --> 00:37:45.909
face. Yeah, being a head, yes. I'm being a head.

00:37:49.090 --> 00:37:50.909
You've got it from the water squirter. I've no

00:37:50.909 --> 00:37:53.210
idea what the actual character is, but it's a

00:37:53.210 --> 00:37:55.110
rubber water squirter like you'd have in a bath.

00:37:55.670 --> 00:37:58.849
Open your eyes. I can't see it. My muff's in

00:37:58.849 --> 00:38:00.929
the eye. I could have been doing this entire

00:38:00.929 --> 00:38:04.250
thing with my eyes open. Oh, it's a crocodile.

00:38:05.329 --> 00:38:09.389
It's from Burger Kid and Kids Club. Movie tie

00:38:09.389 --> 00:38:14.550
-in for Hook. I think when Hook came out on video.

00:38:15.489 --> 00:38:17.469
Because I think Hook was in cinema. It was about

00:38:17.469 --> 00:38:20.969
1991. But I think this is from 1993. God, that

00:38:20.969 --> 00:38:23.010
makes me feel old. So I think that must have

00:38:23.010 --> 00:38:25.329
been when it came out on video. Wow. Yeah, it

00:38:25.329 --> 00:38:27.710
must have been. I didn't research it that much,

00:38:27.730 --> 00:38:29.630
but I was thinking that must be the time gap.

00:38:29.630 --> 00:38:31.389
You used to have to wait a couple of years for

00:38:31.389 --> 00:38:34.110
films to come out on VHS. Because in the 90s,

00:38:34.110 --> 00:38:37.349
Burger King did a kids club with membership cards.

00:38:37.909 --> 00:38:39.730
Did they? I didn't know they had... Let's look

00:38:39.730 --> 00:38:42.429
this bit up. It was a fandom site that said they

00:38:42.429 --> 00:38:46.789
had magazines, calendars, And a card and also

00:38:46.789 --> 00:38:50.869
a free meal on your birthday. My dad used to

00:38:50.869 --> 00:38:52.389
get through his work. He used to get luncheon

00:38:52.389 --> 00:38:55.449
vouchers in the 90s. Don't think he used them

00:38:55.449 --> 00:38:57.170
all. He had loads spare, so he gave them to me.

00:38:57.190 --> 00:38:59.630
When I went into town, Burger King in Swansea

00:38:59.630 --> 00:39:02.789
took them. So, yeah, I used to get a free meal,

00:39:02.789 --> 00:39:05.389
essentially. Free Burger Kings. And see here,

00:39:05.389 --> 00:39:06.710
there's some promotion meal on. It must have

00:39:06.710 --> 00:39:10.010
been a kids club meal deal. And that was the

00:39:10.010 --> 00:39:14.119
TikTok croc tie -in for Hook. Very cool. There

00:39:14.119 --> 00:39:16.679
is a Captain Hook water squirter. There was,

00:39:16.840 --> 00:39:21.260
I think it fits into a plastic ring. And I think

00:39:21.260 --> 00:39:25.219
you're meant to wear it on your hand. Oh. Really

00:39:25.219 --> 00:39:29.119
bulky. Like a weird protrusion. Yeah, it's so

00:39:29.119 --> 00:39:32.380
awkward. It was really uncomfortable to wear.

00:39:32.539 --> 00:39:35.000
See how it didn't catch on. So that's why I just

00:39:35.000 --> 00:39:37.219
took it off. I'll just aim it and squirt. That's

00:39:37.219 --> 00:39:39.679
how you use it as a water squirter. It's very

00:39:39.679 --> 00:39:43.719
cool. That didn't sound very convincing. I don't

00:39:43.719 --> 00:39:45.920
remember if McDonald's took luncheon vouchers.

00:39:46.179 --> 00:39:49.780
I only remember using them in Burger King. But

00:39:49.780 --> 00:39:54.119
yeah, 1993, Burger King Kids Club, Hook tie -in.

00:39:54.239 --> 00:39:58.300
Very nice. Piece of tat. Definitely. He's cool,

00:39:58.320 --> 00:40:00.679
though. I think they go for, well, some people

00:40:00.679 --> 00:40:02.679
have been asking anywhere between a couple of

00:40:02.679 --> 00:40:05.980
quid up to five, six quid on eBay for them. In

00:40:05.980 --> 00:40:08.480
their packets? I don't think I've seen those

00:40:08.480 --> 00:40:11.139
for Captain Hook ones. I can't remember if they

00:40:11.139 --> 00:40:13.619
had the packet, but they did have the ring. I've

00:40:13.619 --> 00:40:16.920
not seen a TikTok one on there. Otherwise, I

00:40:16.920 --> 00:40:20.099
would have just donated this. Fair enough. I

00:40:20.099 --> 00:40:22.199
can't see them. I'll keep it. Yeah, yeah, absolutely.

00:40:22.500 --> 00:40:26.000
It makes it rare. I know what I've got. Oh, yeah,

00:40:26.119 --> 00:40:28.179
of course. It's rare because no one sells it.

00:40:29.199 --> 00:40:31.800
How many Ford Focuses do you see in a day? I'd

00:40:31.800 --> 00:40:34.980
rather find another. I couldn't. It must be rare.

00:40:34.980 --> 00:40:36.920
I suppose that is the definition of rarity, not

00:40:36.920 --> 00:40:38.639
being able to pick up another one just as you

00:40:38.639 --> 00:40:42.119
like it. Okay. Eyes closed? Eyes closed. Hands

00:40:42.119 --> 00:40:44.960
are out. Okay. On the table in front of you.

00:40:45.639 --> 00:40:48.280
The sound is quite large and it feels quite large.

00:40:48.380 --> 00:40:52.760
Thank you. It's a box. I'm guessing it's a game

00:40:52.760 --> 00:40:54.260
of some kind that you're getting rid of again.

00:40:54.599 --> 00:40:58.400
Yeah, yeah. Or it might actually be sellotape.

00:40:58.400 --> 00:41:00.659
Close. Have a guess what the game is with the

00:41:00.659 --> 00:41:02.619
lid sellotaped on whilst I... Do you want me

00:41:02.619 --> 00:41:05.159
to check? I'm guessing it's something from maybe

00:41:05.159 --> 00:41:09.519
the... judging by the texture of the card, which

00:41:09.519 --> 00:41:13.079
is kind of... It feels like a fabric that's underlying

00:41:13.079 --> 00:41:15.820
the pressed card. Oh, I get what you mean. Yeah,

00:41:15.840 --> 00:41:19.960
there's a definite texture to it. Oh, no, the

00:41:19.960 --> 00:41:23.059
lid is not... Oh, I don't know. Hang on. You

00:41:23.059 --> 00:41:25.280
pull up, I'll pull down. There you go. Oh, there

00:41:25.280 --> 00:41:29.360
we go. It's off. All right, so we do have a board

00:41:29.360 --> 00:41:33.610
piece that's... Again, that... crosshatch sort

00:41:33.610 --> 00:41:36.969
of texture to it again which is a 70s sort of

00:41:36.969 --> 00:41:40.969
feel to it it's folded in half indeed uh one

00:41:40.969 --> 00:41:44.550
side is i'm guessing this is the upside correct

00:41:44.550 --> 00:41:47.929
playing face which feels a bit more glossy it's

00:41:47.929 --> 00:41:52.449
about a foot and a bit in either direction maybe

00:41:52.449 --> 00:41:55.369
30 centimeters being inclined to agree it's not

00:41:55.369 --> 00:41:57.889
too much bigger than 30 centimeters square board

00:41:57.889 --> 00:42:01.050
i'll reach back into oh Have you got the thing?

00:42:01.269 --> 00:42:03.269
I've got the lid. There's the bottom. See if

00:42:03.269 --> 00:42:06.510
I can feel any pieces that might give away. Instant.

00:42:07.070 --> 00:42:11.369
Oh, it's a chess board. Correct. I've got a pawn

00:42:11.369 --> 00:42:13.449
there. Oh, good for you. Oh, it looks like a

00:42:13.449 --> 00:42:15.889
bishop. Oh, no, it is a pawn. It's too small

00:42:15.889 --> 00:42:18.590
to be a bishop. Oh, yeah. Anyway. We made this.

00:42:18.989 --> 00:42:23.309
This is Spears Games. Oh, yeah. Chess complete.

00:42:23.800 --> 00:42:27.219
With a stout board and plastic chessmen and rules.

00:42:27.659 --> 00:42:33.559
Of a Gregler du Joux. Metzberg. I don't know.

00:42:33.639 --> 00:42:39.400
I can't read that. Chessmen Empire made. Box

00:42:39.400 --> 00:42:43.179
and board. Made in England. JW Spear and Sons

00:42:43.179 --> 00:42:47.579
Limited. Enfield, Middlesex, England. Don't actually

00:42:47.579 --> 00:42:50.860
know when this was made. The box says 1545. But

00:42:50.860 --> 00:42:53.699
I'm pretty sure it's not that old. Anything on

00:42:53.699 --> 00:42:58.880
the base? Nope. Nothing on the base. And I will

00:42:58.880 --> 00:43:01.000
admit to... Oh, there's a free elastic band in

00:43:01.000 --> 00:43:03.760
there. No rules. I will admit to winging it and

00:43:03.760 --> 00:43:05.300
grabbing this on the way out of the door as I

00:43:05.300 --> 00:43:07.659
came to you. This is quite nice. Still a nice

00:43:07.659 --> 00:43:10.579
feel to the injection moulded... Sorry, moulded

00:43:10.579 --> 00:43:12.480
plastic. There's still a bit of flashing on the

00:43:12.480 --> 00:43:13.480
side. You're quite right, because I was looking

00:43:13.480 --> 00:43:14.619
at it thinking, oh, this could have come out

00:43:14.619 --> 00:43:17.579
of a Christmas cracker. But they do feel quite

00:43:17.579 --> 00:43:19.440
nice. Yeah. And they've all got little felt,

00:43:19.480 --> 00:43:21.780
they've got felt bottoms, green felt bottoms,

00:43:21.900 --> 00:43:25.219
so they don't slide around on your board. Yeah,

00:43:25.219 --> 00:43:28.559
fair. They're not heavy pieces, but they also

00:43:28.559 --> 00:43:31.360
don't feel cheap and nasty. So feel a bit more

00:43:31.360 --> 00:43:33.739
modern than Bakelite plastic, but feels that

00:43:33.739 --> 00:43:37.199
sort of era with its lightness and sheen and

00:43:37.199 --> 00:43:40.320
texture to it. And the back of the board, it's

00:43:40.320 --> 00:43:43.070
a... imitation leather sort of effectively oh

00:43:43.070 --> 00:43:45.750
is that what it is i think i can see the texture

00:43:45.750 --> 00:43:47.909
yeah i think that's meant to be so yeah leather

00:43:47.909 --> 00:43:51.530
grain sort of oh like old victorian writing table

00:43:51.530 --> 00:43:54.909
top sort of leather or like what they do in dashboards

00:43:54.909 --> 00:43:58.250
in cars with the plastic elephant hide yeah oh

00:43:58.250 --> 00:44:00.909
is that what it's based on gross anyway uh this

00:44:00.909 --> 00:44:04.130
was a freebie from facebook along with many of

00:44:04.130 --> 00:44:05.710
the other games that we've not gone through yet

00:44:06.110 --> 00:44:09.250
And nobody I know either plays chess or likes

00:44:09.250 --> 00:44:10.889
playing chess, and I don't want to play it on

00:44:10.889 --> 00:44:14.690
my own, so in the donation box it goeth. I can

00:44:14.690 --> 00:44:17.230
remember how the pieces move, but I've never

00:44:17.230 --> 00:44:20.050
been good at chess. No. I think the last time

00:44:20.050 --> 00:44:21.949
I played chess was possibly eight years ago.

00:44:22.230 --> 00:44:25.210
I like the description, complete with stout board.

00:44:25.530 --> 00:44:28.929
Yeah. It is a very sturdy and decent quality

00:44:28.929 --> 00:44:32.010
board. However, is it stout descriptive or stout

00:44:32.010 --> 00:44:35.780
as in that is the name of a chess board? Oh,

00:44:35.800 --> 00:44:38.559
now you've got me. Okay, let's do a live Google.

00:44:38.719 --> 00:44:42.059
This is not something we normally do. Does a

00:44:42.059 --> 00:44:45.860
chessboard have an official name? There's no

00:44:45.860 --> 00:44:51.920
year on there at all on the packaging. It must

00:44:51.920 --> 00:44:56.519
be descriptive because the AI of the Goog says,

00:44:56.699 --> 00:44:59.500
yes, the official and standard name for the playing

00:44:59.500 --> 00:45:02.840
surface in chess is simply the chessboard. All

00:45:02.840 --> 00:45:07.079
right, fuck you. So stout descriptive, not stout

00:45:07.079 --> 00:45:11.099
naming. But sadly, the rules have gone AWOL.

00:45:11.179 --> 00:45:13.079
Yeah, so, you know, unless you know how to play

00:45:13.079 --> 00:45:16.320
chess, you're fucked, basically. I'll leave the

00:45:16.320 --> 00:45:17.840
lid off while I'll be taking photos of these.

00:45:17.900 --> 00:45:20.360
Oh, yeah, that's a good idea. Likelyused .co

00:45:20.360 --> 00:45:23.059
.uk. Photos of all the items we've talked about

00:45:23.059 --> 00:45:25.400
today and links to everything we've talked about

00:45:25.400 --> 00:45:28.760
as well. Indeed. One more to go. Close your eyes.

00:45:28.900 --> 00:45:33.730
Oh, yes. This is my keeping tat. Okay. And I

00:45:33.730 --> 00:45:36.050
will say it's in a box that gives nothing away

00:45:36.050 --> 00:45:38.550
whatsoever. And if you open it, you may not know.

00:45:38.769 --> 00:45:40.670
Okay. But it's on the table facing you. I don't

00:45:40.670 --> 00:45:42.170
even know what it's called. Let's see. Oh, I

00:45:42.170 --> 00:45:43.349
do know what it's called because it says it on

00:45:43.349 --> 00:45:45.429
the back of the box. Okay. Let's see if I can

00:45:45.429 --> 00:45:47.929
guess this anywhere near as well as the chest.

00:45:47.949 --> 00:45:50.690
You were with me when I bought this and it has

00:45:50.690 --> 00:45:53.630
been on display in my flat for at least 12 months.

00:45:54.150 --> 00:45:59.769
If that helps. No, I'm very unobservant. It's

00:45:59.769 --> 00:46:04.460
in a... Half plastic, half cellophane sort of

00:46:04.460 --> 00:46:11.099
box display item. Yeah. I think it's been possibly

00:46:11.099 --> 00:46:13.460
repaired here in the corner. The box is damaged,

00:46:13.639 --> 00:46:17.079
yeah. The plastic on the front is damaged. Can

00:46:17.079 --> 00:46:19.179
I open it? You can take it out. Yeah, go for

00:46:19.179 --> 00:46:22.619
it. Is that the best way to open it? Okay. I

00:46:22.619 --> 00:46:24.039
assume so. I've never taken it out of the box

00:46:24.039 --> 00:46:30.159
myself. Oh. Official unboxing ceremony. I'm guessing

00:46:30.159 --> 00:46:33.000
it's going to be a figure of some sort. Oh, okay.

00:46:34.000 --> 00:46:39.960
Just because it's... Again, I'm basing this purely

00:46:39.960 --> 00:46:41.000
on the style of the box. Because the thing is

00:46:41.000 --> 00:46:45.179
sat in a cradle inside the box. Oh. Or maybe

00:46:45.179 --> 00:46:48.460
it's not an action figure. No, it's not an action

00:46:48.460 --> 00:46:49.980
figure. Okay, it's going to be some sort of puzzle.

00:46:50.280 --> 00:46:52.809
Correct. And that was maybe... Just the display

00:46:52.809 --> 00:46:55.670
box to show you, ah, this is what you're getting.

00:46:55.869 --> 00:46:58.489
Correct. Feel free to take it out of the box

00:46:58.489 --> 00:47:00.469
completely. I do not believe you can break it

00:47:00.469 --> 00:47:03.409
and nothing is going to fall off it. Okay. I've

00:47:03.409 --> 00:47:08.090
got some very thin... There are moving parts,

00:47:08.090 --> 00:47:11.489
but I believe it is stable through the centre.

00:47:14.110 --> 00:47:19.730
It's out of the box now. I've got a... That's

00:47:19.730 --> 00:47:27.070
the way it sits up, so that's the base. Octagonal?

00:47:27.949 --> 00:47:32.050
Pentagonal? Wooden base? I think it's hexagonal.

00:47:32.050 --> 00:47:37.789
I think it's six -sided. Oh, it is six, yes.

00:47:38.230 --> 00:47:43.789
And it feels like a sort of Christmas tree arrangement.

00:47:46.630 --> 00:47:51.710
with very thin wooden pieces that spin around

00:47:51.710 --> 00:47:55.170
a central spine with a little ball on the end,

00:47:55.210 --> 00:47:57.809
like an end of an abacus sort of thing. I'm guessing

00:47:57.809 --> 00:48:01.030
a metal or wooden dowel running through the middle

00:48:01.030 --> 00:48:07.849
of these shapes. Are you meant to line these

00:48:07.849 --> 00:48:13.570
up? In a way. Do you want to have a look? Oh,

00:48:13.570 --> 00:48:18.550
it's... Pagoda? Do you think it looks like a

00:48:18.550 --> 00:48:22.030
Japanese pagoda? A little bit, yeah. Oh, hang

00:48:22.030 --> 00:48:24.909
on. There's just a bit of cardboard out of the

00:48:24.909 --> 00:48:28.989
box. Is it a puzzle thing to release the balls

00:48:28.989 --> 00:48:31.710
by turning the circles around in a certain...

00:48:32.030 --> 00:48:35.289
Okay. Order? Yeah, you're pretty close. Oh, there's

00:48:35.289 --> 00:48:37.050
a hole at the bottom where the balls are released

00:48:37.050 --> 00:48:39.389
from when you finally free them. So this is the

00:48:39.389 --> 00:48:42.989
Aztec Ghost Tower by True Genius. It was bought

00:48:42.989 --> 00:48:47.130
in Barnardo's. It cost me two pounds. And I actually

00:48:47.130 --> 00:48:50.829
think that this is one of the, you know, Barnardo's

00:48:50.829 --> 00:48:53.150
sell a load of crap like toys and shit brand

00:48:53.150 --> 00:48:56.550
new. Yes. I think it was one of those, but because

00:48:56.550 --> 00:48:58.949
it had gotten damaged, they marked it down to

00:48:58.949 --> 00:49:01.440
two quid. So it says this on the back of the

00:49:01.440 --> 00:49:04.860
box. In 2015, archaeologists at the National

00:49:04.860 --> 00:49:08.920
Institute of Anthropomology and History discovered

00:49:08.920 --> 00:49:11.980
and excavated the remains of a truly ghastly

00:49:11.980 --> 00:49:15.380
relic. Let's bring this closer so we can see

00:49:15.380 --> 00:49:18.739
it. From the ancient Aztec Empire. Two towers

00:49:18.739 --> 00:49:22.019
of human skulls. For the Aztecs, those skulls

00:49:22.019 --> 00:49:25.059
were the seeds that would ensure the continued

00:49:25.059 --> 00:49:28.369
existence of humanity. They were a sign of life

00:49:28.369 --> 00:49:31.289
and regeneration, like the first flowers of spring.

00:49:32.010 --> 00:49:35.010
Some conquistadors... I can't believe I actually

00:49:35.010 --> 00:49:36.949
managed to figure out what that word was. Some

00:49:36.949 --> 00:49:40.090
conquistadors wrote about the towers, estimating

00:49:40.090 --> 00:49:45.329
that they contained up to 130 ,000 skulls. You'll

00:49:45.329 --> 00:49:48.170
need to use everything in your own skull to solve

00:49:48.170 --> 00:49:51.269
this puzzle inspired by the ancient ghost tower.

00:49:52.280 --> 00:49:55.000
Jumble up the tower by using the empty space

00:49:55.000 --> 00:49:59.199
at the bottom to move the skulls one at a time.

00:49:59.400 --> 00:50:02.639
Then twist each layer and pass these skulls from

00:50:02.639 --> 00:50:05.239
one end to the other end of the tower to the

00:50:05.239 --> 00:50:07.920
next until each column is filled with skulls

00:50:07.920 --> 00:50:11.300
of the same colour. Oh. So you're not trying

00:50:11.300 --> 00:50:13.340
to get them out. You're trying to get all of

00:50:13.340 --> 00:50:15.300
the greens on one layer, all of the orange on

00:50:15.300 --> 00:50:18.159
another layer, all of the blue together, all

00:50:18.159 --> 00:50:21.579
of the pink together. And as I say, I've not

00:50:21.579 --> 00:50:23.500
taken this out of the box before, so I have not

00:50:23.500 --> 00:50:27.019
tried it. But it's a fun little thing. But also

00:50:27.019 --> 00:50:30.280
the challenge is it seems that every single slot

00:50:30.280 --> 00:50:33.500
is already full. There should be one empty slot,

00:50:33.599 --> 00:50:36.420
it says. Unless someone's already had a go on

00:50:36.420 --> 00:50:38.639
it and it's not the bottom layer. No, it's not

00:50:38.639 --> 00:50:41.920
the bottom layer. And also there's a ball in

00:50:41.920 --> 00:50:44.119
the bottom bit that doesn't come out. That's

00:50:44.119 --> 00:50:45.480
what I was trying to work out. Ah, interesting.

00:50:45.940 --> 00:50:48.280
So there's a way. There's got to be a holding.

00:50:48.780 --> 00:50:50.679
I'm guessing one of these is a holding place

00:50:50.679 --> 00:50:56.440
for that blank one. Ah. No, your dad will get

00:50:56.440 --> 00:50:58.300
much more enjoyment out of that than me. My brain

00:50:58.300 --> 00:51:01.099
doesn't work that way. Oh, my God. Those puzzles

00:51:01.099 --> 00:51:04.099
that I get from my dad for Christmas, they're

00:51:04.099 --> 00:51:06.440
brilliant. He solved the one that I got him that

00:51:06.440 --> 00:51:09.059
was like super genius master level, the hardest

00:51:09.059 --> 00:51:12.880
one you can. Oh, he'll. And it took him, in fairness,

00:51:13.139 --> 00:51:16.519
it took him a whole 24 hours. I was pleased with

00:51:16.519 --> 00:51:18.860
that. If that wasn't, maybe he'd be able to solve

00:51:18.860 --> 00:51:22.719
that in the bath then. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, maybe

00:51:22.719 --> 00:51:24.960
not a bathroom toy, but definitely. And I'm bored

00:51:24.960 --> 00:51:26.980
and I need to do something with my hands to kind

00:51:26.980 --> 00:51:28.900
of toy. Yeah, that's definitely a keeper, that

00:51:28.900 --> 00:51:30.880
one. But yeah, I can understand why he's going

00:51:30.880 --> 00:51:34.360
to be a slightly musty chess set away. Very slightly

00:51:34.360 --> 00:51:37.059
musty. Unless somebody wants to call dibs on

00:51:37.059 --> 00:51:41.420
them by the 1st of March. Pod at lightlyused

00:51:41.420 --> 00:51:45.019
.co .uk. If you fancy the sound of... Any of

00:51:45.019 --> 00:51:47.599
the items we've featured in our donation section

00:51:47.599 --> 00:51:50.239
at all this year so far. Indeed, they are up

00:51:50.239 --> 00:51:52.880
for grabs. The donations, to be specific, as

00:51:52.880 --> 00:51:55.000
Adam has already said, but the donation items,

00:51:55.280 --> 00:51:57.300
the items that we're setting aside to donate,

00:51:57.619 --> 00:51:59.820
those are the ones that are available. Everything

00:51:59.820 --> 00:52:02.079
else we're keeping because we're selfish. So

00:52:02.079 --> 00:52:05.739
it's the... Your green suit. My old trousers.

00:52:05.820 --> 00:52:09.500
Your cargo pants. My hat. Your hat. Trivial pursuit.

00:52:10.679 --> 00:52:15.230
I donated a hoodie to you. What was the other

00:52:15.230 --> 00:52:17.949
one? What was the other donation item? Oh, I'm

00:52:17.949 --> 00:52:21.349
donating a hoodie as well. Oh, the blue one.

00:52:21.550 --> 00:52:23.590
That your hoodie to meet Christmas present replaced.

00:52:23.949 --> 00:52:26.869
That's going away. We didn't really feature that

00:52:26.869 --> 00:52:30.190
on the show, but we're getting rid of it. I'm

00:52:30.190 --> 00:52:31.670
sure there's a couple of other things. The hat

00:52:31.670 --> 00:52:34.210
we mentioned there. We've done three at least.

00:52:34.389 --> 00:52:37.619
Your comic. Girls by Luna Brothers from last

00:52:37.619 --> 00:52:39.659
episode. Oh, my God. Trying to get that out of

00:52:39.659 --> 00:52:42.300
your memory already. Speaking of which. Did you

00:52:42.300 --> 00:52:45.039
find anything out about them? I did look on IGN

00:52:45.039 --> 00:52:47.719
for that. There's two -word review. I can't remember

00:52:47.719 --> 00:52:50.599
exactly what they were, but there's this. Intriguing

00:52:50.599 --> 00:52:54.880
and something. Literally, one word, ellipse,

00:52:54.900 --> 00:52:58.460
ellipse, ellipse. Second word, end quote. But

00:52:58.460 --> 00:53:02.099
they were cherry -picked two single words. I

00:53:02.099 --> 00:53:04.909
looked on IGN. I couldn't find a review of the

00:53:04.909 --> 00:53:08.010
first episode, first issue. Oh, really? There

00:53:08.010 --> 00:53:11.650
was an interview with them about it coming out

00:53:11.650 --> 00:53:14.389
and a little bit, didn't want to give away much

00:53:14.389 --> 00:53:17.409
about the story at the time, other than pretty

00:53:17.409 --> 00:53:20.010
much the blurb on the back was pretty much all

00:53:20.010 --> 00:53:21.929
they gave away. They talked about some previous

00:53:21.929 --> 00:53:24.889
comic graphic novel they'd done called Ultra.

00:53:25.210 --> 00:53:27.909
And this is apparently the complete opposite

00:53:27.909 --> 00:53:33.699
of it. The next issue review was, I think, episode

00:53:33.699 --> 00:53:36.780
9, then 10, 14. There were a couple of sporadic

00:53:36.780 --> 00:53:39.280
reviews throughout, I think, a 24 -issue series.

00:53:39.579 --> 00:53:42.840
Right, okay. One of the ones was, I think, quite

00:53:42.840 --> 00:53:47.159
critical of this Overlong series. Overlong, ooh.

00:53:47.820 --> 00:53:50.440
One of them, I think, episode, issue, I keep

00:53:50.440 --> 00:53:54.599
saying episode, issue 10 or 14. Then they said

00:53:54.599 --> 00:53:56.840
that was something complimentary. Oh, really?

00:53:57.059 --> 00:53:58.900
They said they could have got away with cutting

00:53:58.900 --> 00:54:01.139
quite a few issues out of the runs to get to

00:54:01.139 --> 00:54:04.300
this part of the storyline. Overall, they weren't

00:54:04.300 --> 00:54:07.059
too complimentary and those were two definitely

00:54:07.059 --> 00:54:10.659
cherry -picked words. I read about five reviews.

00:54:10.780 --> 00:54:12.940
They were very short. Yeah. But yeah, I read

00:54:12.940 --> 00:54:15.059
about five issues worth of reviews and none of

00:54:15.059 --> 00:54:19.659
them seems praising. Fair enough. That can definitely

00:54:19.659 --> 00:54:22.320
be redonated. It seems a skippable graphic novel.

00:54:22.519 --> 00:54:25.750
Yeah. Fair enough. Thanks for the update. You're

00:54:25.750 --> 00:54:33.510
very welcome. I'm very sorry to your mum again

00:54:33.510 --> 00:54:35.789
that we didn't get round to playing Ski Horse,

00:54:35.869 --> 00:54:41.309
Sky Joe. She won't mind. To be fair, what time

00:54:41.309 --> 00:54:43.630
is it now? I don't know. I don't even want to

00:54:43.630 --> 00:54:47.130
know. It's twenty past eleven now. Okay. It's

00:54:47.130 --> 00:54:50.000
bedtime. what time did we start nine o 'clock

00:54:50.000 --> 00:54:53.039
ish 20 to 10 something like that yeah we've taken

00:54:53.039 --> 00:54:55.119
a piss -takingly long amount of time to record

00:54:55.119 --> 00:54:57.539
very very well what will be very very little

00:54:57.539 --> 00:55:00.260
by the time i've finished editing this the input

00:55:00.260 --> 00:55:05.179
to output ratio of this show is all to cock it's

00:55:05.179 --> 00:55:09.820
non -sustainable anyway it's outro time it's

00:55:09.820 --> 00:55:13.119
outro time we made it to the end it's outro time

00:55:13.119 --> 00:55:19.519
it's outro time Thanks for listening. I've got

00:55:19.519 --> 00:55:22.219
to stop recording. Okay, I will say... We're

00:55:22.219 --> 00:55:25.659
on the internet, likelyuse .co .uk and anything

00:55:25.659 --> 00:55:28.460
else I'm going to hand over to you. Okie dokie.

00:55:28.539 --> 00:55:32.159
So we are on Facebook, Instagram, all of the...

00:55:32.440 --> 00:55:36.159
podcast streaming services we also have a youtube

00:55:36.159 --> 00:55:39.500
channel um i did do some videos a fortnight ago

00:55:39.500 --> 00:55:41.139
but i haven't got around to editing them yet

00:55:41.139 --> 00:55:43.559
so they might actually show up on the youtube

00:55:43.559 --> 00:55:46.119
channel at some point or another a bit of behind

00:55:46.119 --> 00:55:49.179
the scenes interest for you we are part of the

00:55:49.179 --> 00:55:52.820
studio channel 84 and podcast and network of

00:55:52.820 --> 00:55:57.619
independent ad free podcasts along with myself

00:55:57.619 --> 00:56:01.050
and adam you will also find Tom and Rob, who

00:56:01.050 --> 00:56:04.989
do the variety show. Rob and Tom, who do the

00:56:04.989 --> 00:56:08.349
untitled sci -fi show. And Simon and Ross, who

00:56:08.349 --> 00:56:11.650
do Who Takes the Socks Off? They also do a spin

00:56:11.650 --> 00:56:13.889
-off of Socks On or Off, which is a bit like

00:56:13.889 --> 00:56:16.489
a mini episode where they ask you a question.

00:56:16.949 --> 00:56:19.409
Would you rather do this or would you rather

00:56:19.409 --> 00:56:22.010
do this? And then you just have like a 20 -minute

00:56:22.010 --> 00:56:24.730
chat about it. So if you're into any of that...

00:56:25.000 --> 00:56:28.840
bit of random stuff in life then tag along to

00:56:28.840 --> 00:56:32.039
channel84 .co .uk you'll find all of the shows

00:56:32.039 --> 00:56:34.199
you'll find all of our contacts all of our email

00:56:34.199 --> 00:56:38.219
addresses and we will love you for it any likes

00:56:38.219 --> 00:56:41.699
shares rates and reviews are hugely hugely appreciated

00:56:41.699 --> 00:56:44.960
and if you'd like to slag us off it's pod at

00:56:44.960 --> 00:56:50.800
lightlyused .co .uk night night adam and karen

00:56:50.800 --> 00:56:54.449
have been lightly used Visit LightTheUse .co

00:56:54.449 --> 00:56:59.190
.uk for more. To get in touch, email pod at LightTheUse

00:56:59.190 --> 00:57:08.889
.co .uk. I'm no mere woman. No, for fuck's sake.

00:57:09.550 --> 00:57:11.630
I've not gone too hard on turnip, my friend.

00:57:11.630 --> 00:57:14.269
That sounded like the night then. Chorio tip.

00:57:15.269 --> 00:57:18.769
Chorio good for castle. Skip under the walls.

00:57:19.949 --> 00:57:22.590
Just find the secret entrance to the underground.