Sorry. Switching my phone off and suddenly a
bunch of messages come through. Typical. That's
yours from earlier, so I'll mark that as read.
What, the one about the rolling pin? Yeah. I
don't own a rolling pin. It is a random request
from the bath, I must admit. You could have thought
anything. That's why I cautiously asked from
outside the door. Does it have to be a rolling
pin? Why? What have you got planned in the bath
there? My back hurts. What the fuck is that?
Sorry, I'm switching my phone off. No one ever
rings you. I know. Withheld number. I've been
having loads. I've been sending them to the voicemail,
but nobody just leaves a message. Oh, that's
always super helpful, you know, when you get
a withheld number and no message. They've been
ringing shitloads. How bizarre. Surely the second
time it's, okay, if I need to get hold of you
that much. Because that's like six calls. Yeah.
One of those times, if it's that urgent, just
leave a message. It must be a cold caller. Like
some stupid call centre wants to ring you and
try and tell you that someone's trying to break
into your Google account, but actually it's them.
Sometimes I've seen numbers where it's been a
mobile. I've answered those ones. Right. Okay,
it could be legit, but then if I press answer,
I don't say anything for a second just to see,
is it? silent yeah i do that as well you know
those like telephone bots things that come through
like you can pick up the phone and not say anything
and their like little robot voice won't kick
in until you say something so if you hold the
phone in your hand silently for 10 minutes it
just costs them 10 minutes worth of phone call
or if somebody is there see how long they stay
on the phone for whilst they're just hearing
office noises in the background yeah i did try
to uh do an insurance job once they rang the
office at work and i was so sick of telling people
that they were ringing like a cancer ward or
whatever they weren't ringing a cancer ward but
they were still ringing a hospital phone number
um that i kept some guy on the phone for like
10 minutes i told him i'd had a car crash i'd
lost both my legs i'd lost the use of one of
my arms i can't remember what else everyone in
the office was absolutely pissing themselves
and he must have been on the phone for 10 minutes
before he realized i was winding him up it's
time he's not scamming someone else well yeah
exactly he did someone else a favor But who do
you think is ringing you? Any ideas? No idea.
Yeah, always withheld number. It's not even like
a geographic number or from Mystery Mobile or
something, but just withheld. Weird. Just leave
a message. This is Lightly Used with Adam and
Karen. Welcome to Lightly Used, episode 37. I'm
Adam. And I'm Karen. And this might be a very
short episode because we've left it very late
in the day to start recording. It is a late one.
And in fairness, I turned up at yours later than
I really could have done this afternoon. And
it took us four hours to do something that really
should only take us two. And then we sat and
watched a bit of YouTube. And now we've gotten
around to recording after I've had a lovely bath.
Thanks very much. That's all right. Normally
it's maybe about four o 'clock when we're recording.
It's 20 to 10. Oh, fuck, is it that late? Oh
my God, okay. Sorry in advance for any low energies.
But also, I don't have much to talk about. Nor
me, in fairness. Just chat and chat episode,
as you put it. That's all good. That's all good.
I do have a confession. Oh. To start the show.
Is it a juicy one? Not really, but you might
say things about me. Oh. And until you told me
that my tiny tat cauldron last episode might
be worth something, I was going to use that as
my donation item for this episode. Wow, I'm glad
you didn't do that. But yeah, thank you very
much for giving that a polish and decoding the
maker's marks. It was sterling silver and made
in England. British sterling silver made in Chester
in 1981. Thank you very much. I couldn't get
the maker's name though. It's a bit rubbed out.
I think that side had been polished too hard
or it wasn't stamped correctly. But more information
than I had to start with. Yeah, 10 pence well
invested. It must be worth a fiver on weight
alone. I was hoping for the £50 that you speculated
if it was properly full silver. Maybe. I don't
know what the value of silver is per gram. No,
we didn't. And we didn't look up the weight per
gram either. No, but we can do both of those
things. We might have a further update for you
next episode. Definitely getting my 10 pence
worth out of that cauldron. 100%. Maybe I'll
steal it and start doing witchy spells with it.
When I saw it, I thought, oh, that could be used
as a tiny ashtray. Yeah. I've never used it for
one. I'm never going to now. Good. That's nicely
polished on the shelf. A little bit of patina
still on there. Yeah. Just enough to look. I
only made the little sort of like patch around
where the hallmarks is. Just more legible. I
haven't gotten rid of any of the patina. Just
a bit clearer to see. Just got rid of some of
the dirt. Yeah, it just looks a little bit brighter
on the shelf. Yeah. Overall, but yeah, I'm happy
with that find. Yeah, you should be. Just a 10p
piece of tat. Oh, you've got two updates as well.
Have I? Kitten and Cauldron. Oh. No, I should
have started that way around. Cauldron and Kitten.
I thought I should start with a confession. Oh,
hang on. That's all right. We've got the cauldron
out of the way. We have got the cauldron out
of the way. And the kitten is now definitely
too big to fit into it. I think it was from the
start. Yeah, it probably was. The kitten and
cauldron does sound like a shit knockoff Harry
Potter theme park. It does a bit. So Winnie and
Kiara both went to the vet this week. Kiara had
a slightly sore eye that I'd been keeping an
eye on for a few days. And I decided, oh. it
was best that I took her to go and get checked
up and when he needed her first sort of like
kitten appointment she needed to be weighed and
sexed and jabbed and booked in to have a giblets
out and a microchip fitted um when it came to
sexing the cats because on the on the vets she's
registered as Winter slash Winnie. And they were
like, have you kept Winter because you don't
know if it's a boy or a girl? And I was like,
I think she's a girl, but I'd really like you
to confirm. But also it's a good name. It is
a good name. So said vet picks kitten up. She
immediately arches her back in the refusal of
don't look at my ass. So this vet is like, he's
literally on the floor on his knees, holding
the kitten up towards the light, trying to anchor
the tail out of the way. And then he goes, oh.
Oh. It's a bit weird. Hang on a second. Starts
having a poke around. As you do. Very gently.
Winter is a Winnie with Winston traits. Oh. Winnie
has two fluffy little ball sacks. One either
side of her ladylessness. But they are empty
and she has no willy. You do have an unusual
cat. She is technically intersex. But we're going
with she because that's the most sort of traits
that she displays. Sticking with winter. Yeah.
Winter slash Winnie or fuckface or shitbag or
oi, what do you think you're doing? And don't
scratch my sofa. Those are all her names. Also,
got your money's worth out of the vet. Yeah.
All your training in this one. Yeah, yeah. 160
quid I spent on them. But in fairness, that does
cover Winnie's operation to remove her giblets.
And it covers the rest of her jabs. And it covers
her microchip as well. So that's not too bad
in the grand scheme of things. Getting a fair
bit for it. Yeah, and like Kiara's eye drops
cost me a couple of quid. That's not too bad.
Did insurance cover any of that? No, no, no.
It wasn't really worth it anyway. The excess
is like 80 quid or something. I would have got
60 quid back maybe if I was lucky. But no, the
kitten stuff wouldn't be covered. We are a little
bit underprepared this episode. Stop telling
people how unprofessional we are. So because
we're just winging it, I haven't read a book.
So there's no Bibliotek in its place. Potentially,
it's not something we really do on the show.
Do you fancy a bit of a taste test? Oh, baby,
put a dreamy in my mouth. Well, I was going to
say, you might maybe want to save the dreamy
for last. Oh, is it that bad? We've got some
knock -off Twinkies. Oh, OK. Yes, those are the
dreamy things. Those are from Aldi, yeah. There
are two bags of crisps. There are. Is one of
them duck? Yeah. First is crispy aromatic duck.
Ooh. Well, it should be crispy. They're crisps.
The second one... Curry sauce. No. In theory,
I thought, oh, that looks nice. I've not been
brave enough to open them yet. Oh, what are they?
These are from Asda. Roasted camembert and garlic
crisps. Okay. Could go either way. They could
go either way. I'm willing to give them a try,
as long as you turn the mic off whilst we're
eating. Just as well, we've got glass and water
as well. We're going to need them. Although I'm
much closer to mine than you are to yours, because
we all know you can't be trusted. Yeah, I'll
make sure it's on the windowsill, far away, and
behind you. Yes, yeah, the opposite side of the
room to Adam. Literally across the other side
of the room from me. Don't even look at the glass.
You never know, it might just fall off the coaster
and explode. Should we start with maybe the duck?
Yes, can I go through a couple more little chit
-chat points before we move on to Duck? So, Karen
has another new thing. Oh, we're still recording,
but some power's tripped. How weird. Have we
just blown your socket up? I'll switch that off
in the wall for sure. How strange. I think it
might just be that. What? Is the plug tripping?
I think it's just that. The actual ring light
is just... You think it's a danger? Because the
power is still to the sockets there. Okay, so
there's something wrong with the light. I think
that might have just blown itself. Okay, we'll
get rid of the ring light that seems to have
just committed suicide. I would say on camera,
but... The camera's not recording. I'm going
to need that to read Johnny Turnit properly later.
I'll put the torch on my phone and I'll hold
it strategically for you. I think I've got a
work light upstairs. I'll grab that. Okay, so
before we were ever so rudely interrupted by
the ring light. I will go and check the fuses
after as well. Yeah, maybe that's a good idea.
If something definitely went poof. There was
a definite poof. I thought the room was going
to explode. Hopefully it's just we left the smoke
out of the light and that's it. That can go in
the bin. The USB thing was quite warm. Yeah,
I'd say it's blown. We'll give it one more try
later. I don't think we should. I think it's
just shat its pants. I think the only thing that's
safe left on that is... The tripod. The tripod,
yeah. Everything else needs to go in the bin.
I think, don't even play with it. Just get rid.
I might plug it in the extension lead instead
of straight. Actually, no. That is in an extension.
Yeah, it is. Safety first. Right, anyway. Karen
loves sumo wrestling. Oh, yeah? Grand sumo highlights.
for 15 days in a row on YouTube, Karen has been
enjoying watching very large men throw themselves
at other very large men and watching Japanese
referees dance around in circles really fucking
fast, trying to avoid the very large men who
were trying to crash into each other. You don't
want to get your foot stepped on. I did see one
judge get squashed. He was fine. He got up straight
away. It was all very dignified. But it was quiet.
occupational hazard okay so would you like to
know some of the names of my favorite sumo wrestlers
from grand sumo go for it i'll start easy and
then i'll go hard are you ready yeah rb abi rb
okay rb yeah shishi shishi okay do you want to
guess where what country any of these people
are from because they're not all japanese uh
no No, I'm not going to guess where people are
coming from. I think Arby is Japanese. Shishi
is Ukrainian. And there's another Ukrainian guy
that also fights in Gran Sumo. And I feel like
he might be his big brother because he's also
Ukrainian, but he's one of the later names. So
we've got, what have I said? Arby, Shishi, Ayunishki.
Ayunishki? Yeah. I will try and say the names.
He's the other Ukrainian guy. He's got one of
the best records as well. I think he's seven
wins for two losses. The best guy who I love
the most, I think he's seven for two or eight
for one, is Wakatakakage. I might skip on that
one. Brilliant. I love Sumo. It's amazing. And,
I mean, you know, names aside. those are like
four of my favorite wrestlers that i will put
everything down to watch they're brilliant and
the highlights are only about half an hour long
uh on youtube and i didn't catch it until day
five so i spent like two hours watching sumo
wrestling constantly it was brilliant so much
better than ww whatever fucking shit they do
these days and it's real It is real. The muscles
on those men. I've never seen thighs and arses
like it. It's insane. Honestly, like, I mean,
I know they carry a lot of weight. And yes, the
majority of sumo wrestlers do have a lot of fat
in their body as well as part of, you know, about
gaining weight and keeping your strength. But
underneath... Not going to be much of a sumo
wrestler otherwise. Yeah, underneath... like
the insulation they are built like fucking brick
shithouses there's one guy he's a newbie in the
grand sumo he's just come up to that league and
he is pure muscle there's not i don't think there's
an ounce of fat on him and he comes up to the
edge and he does like he does like his over shoulder
punch to the crowd and everyone's like He's really
short. He's pure muscle. And he is fucking hard
as nails. And he's brilliant to watch. I can't
remember his name. Very sorry, Guy. But yeah,
Karen likes sumo and long -term plans. I will
go to Tokyo and watch Grand Sumo. It's now on
my list of dreams. In the meantime, you can give
me a link to it and I'll put it in the blog.
Oh, yeah, cool. Everyone can enjoy a bit of sumo.
Oh, yeah. Wakatakakage. That's a great game.
I'm still going to try. So many Ks. There's not
a single C in there. I really want to try a bit
of margarita. Anyway, you can do your crisps
now. I'm not sure if I want to. Right, let's
try the crispy aromatic duck. Crinkle crisps.
Okie dokie. Apparently there's a classic five
spice seasoning with them. Let's give them a
shake first. Shuffling, shuffling. And smell.
Sniffage. Are they aromatic? Aromatic duck? There's
definitely a hint of five spice in there. You
can smell the star anise. Let's try a medium
sized one. Oh, snap. Cheers. Cheers. Thoughts?
I could eat some more of those. They're quite
nice. They're really bloody nice. I really like
those. The texture is pretty much not quite as
defined ridge as McCoy's. Definitely crispy,
though. Yeah, crispy and a strong flavour like
McCoy's. Yeah, really nicely rounded flavour.
You can definitely get the five spice in there.
The star anise, I don't particularly like star
anise. For anyone who doesn't like star anise,
these are not overpowered by that one particular
flavour profile. And you can pick up the peaking
sauce in the background as well. There's a subtle
sweetness, like plumminess to it almost. That's
what I was trying to say is, yeah, trying to
think of, it's not quite strong to define that's
definite plum. Like you would if you had the
takeaway and got the dip for your pancakes. You
can go, yep, I can slather that. Just the vaguest
hint there just to accentuate it. Yeah, I rate
those. They're good. Very decent. I can have
a drink and we'll try the roasted camembert and
garlic crisps. We are going to stink after. Paired
with British potatoes. British. By Asda. Well
done, Asda, aren't you? British potatoes. I haven't
been offered any voiceover jobs yet. These are
from the exceptional range. Yeah, quite a strong
smell to them. Adam's pulled a pungent face.
I put my face quite deeply in there. Did you
do what I did with the pecan ones and just like
literally put my whole face in the bag? Don't
do that with these. Okay, I'll bear that in mind.
I haven't even taken a crisp out yet. I'm still
recovering. Okay. I'm pretty sure I can smell
them from here. You probably can. And they're
a good foot away from my nose. Hang on a second.
Was that what you could smell? That was what
I could smell. I can smell roasted garlic. It's
the cheese that I was getting more of a whiff
of than the garlic. And the cheese is going right
into my eyeballs. It's making me blink a bit.
They... That's my expression. They hum. Like,
hum. Maybe just a small crisp then. Right, hang
on, let me... No, I'm going to pick a decent,
a reasonable... Oh, fuck me. A reasonable -sized
crisp. Look on the back of that. It's got a decent
bit of coating on there. Oh, yeah, but there
is a hole as well, though, so I'm not eating
as much crisp as I could. If you're taking a...
I'll take one that's folded over. I just hit
my mic then, sorry. Decent bit on there, too.
Okay. Wish us luck. Bottoms up. Adam's only put
the mics up because I'm pulling faces and making
noises of disgust. Gosh. It wasn't as good as
your initial reaction of... Oh, my God. I know
how another podcast host feels about certain
things now. Yeah, I don't think I'll be finishing
that bag of crisps. Do you want the duck one
to take the taste away? I might have to. I'm
just going to lick one. I'm going to turn your
mic down a second. Because I was going to talk
to you and I made even more noise. Oh, stop now.
The roasted camembert and garlic crisps didn't
taste as bad as they smelled to me. I will only
have the one crisp, though. I'm not going to
go back for any more. Karen didn't seem as offended
by the smell as I was. The smell was more bearable
than the flavour. instantly did not like the
taste of it i mean that went in my mouth and
there was it was almost as visceral a reaction
as i had to mr blobby it's deeply unpleasant
in a multitude of ways um it's too overpowering
in the umami foot flavor the smell seems to get
stronger when it's in your mouth which i guess
makes sense because you know of where pipes end
and shit and Small membranes. But it's got that
sort of like weird hot spiciness you get with
over roasted garlic. And then the camembert is
doing nothing to cut through that. It's just
pure sort of an attack on your savoury taste
buds. And it's deeply unpleasant to me. Overwhelming.
Yeah. I'm definitely going to need a drink of
water. Gross. Don't get those ones. They're horrid.
The food demon just walked over my grave. Shall
we go for the dessert? Okay. Anything's got to
be better than eating raw feet. The knock -off
Twinkies. Baking Buddy Dreamies. I got these
in... They've got an American and Mexican sort
of selection of food going on there at the moment.
Oh, cool. Best before 16th of June this year.
Net weight, 50 grams. It says there, golden sponge
cake with creamy marshmallow style filling. Okay,
so there's not even marshmallow. They're not
easy to open. Oh, I couldn't open mine, so I've
resorted to my teeth. And just as I'm saying
they're not easy to open, Adam goes, ta -da!
Here's my cake out of its wrapper before you
blinked. Some of the cake is stuck to the wrapper.
Yes, some of, like, like it would if you'd got,
like, an angel cake or a walnut cake from the
shop and it's got the paper on the bottom, you
get a bit of cake stuck to the bottom of the
paper, yeah. A couple of Twinkies I've had that
doesn't happen to it. They smell Twinkie. They
feel exactly the same as Twinkies. They feel
very dense and moist. Right. Oh, I'll get one
of the lots of marshmallow filling nozzle a hole
in the end there. What I was so delicately...
Did you say... Were you saying something else
there? What I was so delicately trying to say
was... Look at the amount of filling. There's
so much. I thought you were somehow surprised.
I thought, well, you pointed out the holes to
me. Didn't we have knockoff Twinkies like two
years ago that had, they had like two holes in
the bottom and then there was like no filling.
And we were commenting on how little filling
there is. That's why I'm going, oh my God, there's
so much filling. It's like a Twinkie, over, over
sweet. But it's pretty damn close. It's like
the marshmallow fluff you get for sandwich spreads.
Maybe if we try it out of the fridge. Or microwaved.
I wish I could remember how much they were. They
were actually quite nice. I mean, I know Twinkies
are supposed to be like the devil's food and
the only things that will survive nuclear fallout
other than the cockroaches. That's where these
differ. They're only valid till June. Ah, there
we are then. In terms of a golden sponge that
is filled with a marshmallow style spread. You
know, really good. Very sugary. Very close approximations,
Twinkie. Just as dense. Yeah, definitely just
as dense. They leave like a greasy film on your
fingers, which I suppose if you roll your cigarettes
will come in real handy because the worst thing
ever is washing your hands and then trying to
roll a cigarette. That just doesn't happen. Shout
out to my fellow rolly buds. Yeah, they were
all right. Yeah. Six dreamies from Aldi. Don't
tell me how many calories there are, Poe, because
I ate that whole thing. With glee. What's next?
In lieu of the book report, we've had some snacks.
We've got another chapter of Johnny Turnip's
Misadventures on the way. We have a tat in the
box, plus a featured donation item each. We do.
And if we've got time, we'll round off with a
game of Sky Joe. Ski -ho? Who are you calling
a ski -ho? Ski -o! Ski -o! Ski -o! No idea how
to pronounce that still. It's time for another
instalment of Likely Used News. Abigavennyman
claims he can prove mermaids exist. Oh, nice.
By Tim Butters. at the Epic of Any Chronicle
on Monday 9th September 2024. For centuries,
stories of half -fish, half -female creatures
splashing around in the sea have haunted sailors
and captured the imaginations of children everywhere.
Yet, much like fairies, vampires and aliens,
no one has been able to prove mermaids exist.
Until perhaps now. Semi -professional paranormal
investigator Johnny Turnip has made the audacious
claim that not only will he prove mermaids are
real, but he intends to capture one and make
it cry in a bid to save Mother Earth from an
extinction -level event. It all began at this
year's Green Man Festival when I experienced
an out -of -body experience and took a trip to
the Astral Realms, explained Turnip. It was the
strangest thing. One minute I was sitting and
drinking with the boys, the next minute my mind
was yanked like a disobedient dog on a chain
to another dimension. It was like travelling
at great speed through a psychedelic tunnel.
To be honest, it reminded me a lot of the intro
to a TV show I used to watch when I was a kid
called Jamie Has Magic Torch. Great show. We
mentioned that the other day, didn't we? I'm
sure we did. Absolutely fucking banging theme
tune. Yeah, did have the best one. After what
seemed like an eternity, but in hindsight was
probably only a few seconds, I found myself suddenly
walking on a beach under a night sky that was
absolutely loaded with stars of all shapes and
colours. It was a bit like that painting by Van
Gogh, but even more psychedelic. He wouldn't
have cut his ear off if he could see what I saw,
I can tell you. Turnip added, after wandering
alone for a bit and thinking about going for
a skinny dip in the water because I was getting
a bit bored, things started to get a little weird
when Elsa from Frozen was walking towards me.
She was grinning a bit too manic for my liking
and singing Let It Go. However, when she was
about six feet away, Elsa turned into Mary Poppins,
who in turn began singing A Spoonful of Sugar.
She came closer and closer until at the last
minute she turned into the White Witch of Narnia,
got right in my face and said, Fancy a Turkish
delight, Turner? Keep your truffles for lesser
men and tell me who the hell you are, woman,
I snarled. Woman? She exclaimed with an amused
look on her face, the features of which kept
changing between the three Hollywood witches.
I am no mere woman. I am Gaia, the triple goddess,
who is the maiden, mother and crone. Lack of
respect amuses me, little root vegetable. Laugh
it up, lady, I said, but I'm a busy man. So tell
me what you want and I'll be on my way. And if
you're involved putting up a shelf, you can do
one. Turnip added. At this point, she began laughing
softly and said, Oh, Turnip, how ridiculous you
and your kind are. But like all men, you have
your uses. And as it happens, I'm in need of
one touched by the hand of fate and blessed with
dumb luck. For some reason, when she said this,
I was compelled to get on one knee, take her
hand, and say, My lady, I live to serve. And
at that moment, I can honestly say I would have
laid down my life for her. Which is weird, because
I've always been more of a treat them mean, keep
them keen kind of fella. Turnip told the Chronicle,
This mysterious woman asked me to walk with her.
I went on to explain the reason she'd summoned
me to the Astral Realms was because the caretaker
of Mother Earth who she called her green man,
had got a bit lazy in recent centuries and wasn't
taking care of business the way he should. She
explained, Old Hearn used to be a reliable sort.
He'd make sure the rivers ran clean, there remained
pure, the forest flourished, and all life was
acknowledged as sacred. He also ensured that
all those who knew the land as their mother respected
her boundaries and conditions. Yet over time
I'm afraid he's become somewhat disillusioned
and a little lazy. That, and his supply of mermaid
tears ran out over a century ago. Mermaid tears,
I said. What sort of freak drinks that? My lady
just chuckled and said, For time -out -of -mind
adventurers, philosophers, pirates and poets
would seek the tears of a mermaid, bottle them
and leave them as tribute in one of the green
man's many shrines. You know, the foot of a tree
or something like that. When Hearn drinks that
rarest of beverages, it energises him and he
really performs above and beyond his duty. Sadly,
his cellar has long since run dry and now he's
gone into withdrawal and just stomps around the
place all lethargic and moody. The bottom line
is, for me to thrive, I need him firing on all
cylinders. And the only way he can do that is
to capture a mermaid and make her cry. Obviously,
one such as I could not commit such an act so
coarse and vulgar. I shudder at the very thought.
But... You and your pals have no such reservations
by getting your hands dirty in pursuit of the
supernatural? After a thank you, my lady, for
the compliment, I asked, what would you have
us do? Why, turnip, isn't it obvious? We must
catch a mermaid, bottle her tears, and save Mother
Earth. Yes, I roared. I will succeed where Greta
and Gestop oil failed. Facing works of art and
lying in the roads, that'll amount to nothing
in the long run. But hunting mermaids? That's
a different story. Send me back to my dimension,
my lady, and I will do your bidding, I urged.
Chuckling mischievously and doing a little curtsy
that started as Elsa but finished as Mary Poppins,
my lady waved a wand and my consciousness slammed
back into my cranium like a freight train. Before
you could say, what a trip. I was back sitting
in the grass bank at the Green Man Festival,
and I don't think Puerto Rico Paul or Big Tony
had noticed I'd been gone. They were too busy
arguing about the ending of Sopranos. It took
me a few seconds to get my head screwed back
on properly before I could say, So, did you notice
anything different about me in the last ten minutes,
lads? Yeah, said Big Tony. Your eyes rolled into
the back of your head and you started singing
Let It Go over and over again for about ten minutes.
Just put it down to the drugs, but you look alright
now. Thanks for your concern, chaps, I sighed.
Anyhow, my mental state isn't important. Saving
Mother Earth is. I feel a caper coming on. said
Puerto Rico Paul somewhat warily. All right you
are, Paul, I barked, but this time there's a
lot at stake. We need to catch a mermaid and
make her cry. How do you catch a mermaid, little
old maker, cry? asked Big Tony with a noted lack
of enthusiasm. Same way you do to all females,
said Paul. Tell her she smells of fish. At Paul's
quip, we all laughed like a gang of immature
scallywags before I had to step into the uncomfortable
shoes of the boring walkster and warn. Lots riding
on this quest, boys, so let's cut the jokes out,
drink up and get going. We've only just got here,
moaned Paul. Can't we at least stay to watch
Jesus and Mary chain? OK, I agreed. For the sake
of the 1980s, we'll have one last blowout tonight,
and then in the morning, or more like the afternoon,
we'll go west, find ourselves a mermaid, bottle
of tears and restore balance to the world. To
be continued. I think you're guessing first this
time. I think you might be right. Anyway, it's
time for... I'm going to try and do it in one
breath. Hang on, hang on, hang on. Big breathe
in. Oh, that's weird. Don't move it off. Fail.
It's time for... Tighten the box. Tighten the
box. Tighten the box. Tighten the box. Tighten
the box. Tighten the box. Tighten the box. Tighten
the box. plenty of air left i actually made myself
dizzy doing that that was stupid right i'm guessing
first so i'll move my book out the way i'm gonna
grab your box as you love claws in my eyes did
you want to guess the donation item first i think
we're sort of doing that now aren't we yeah i
can't remember what we're doing let's do donation
first keep second Is it another piece of clothing?
Yes. It's not even on the table yet. My psychic
powers are going stronger. Oh, it's an hat. Oh,
is this your old man's hat from the back of the
McCadeys? Yes. For ladies and gentlemen and everyone
else listening, it is a Tweedish. Yeah. Canada
made for C &A. Yeah, I'll be honest, I only found
out it was C &A this year, a month or two ago.
I thought it was just a new item for the charity
shop. I think it was British Home... British
Home Store. British Heart Foundation. Because
I had the Mercedes and the old man car, I bought
the hat to dress it up, essentially, and to stick
it on the parcel shelf in the back. Too small
for my head. I think it cost between three and
maybe four pounds. I threw out the card ages
ago. I thought it was new because it looks unworn.
There's no sort of stains around the headband
or anything. Can I speak into my microphone?
It does look unworn. It does look unworn. I can't
get my words out. It's a size 56 or 6 7 8 to
anyone who measures heads. Oh, that's one thing
I forgot to do is to measure the circumference.
I'm glad there's a label in there to say how
big it is. There is a label. It is a 56 or six
and seven eighths. Is that across the six and
seven eighths? Because it can't be around because
there's no way that's six inches. I guess hat
wearers know. If you're a hat wearer and know
how big your head is, by what size is it? A six,
did you say? A six and seven eighths or a 56.
If any of those make any... sense to you yeah
you're welcome to get in touch and claim this
hat before we send it to the charity shop yeah
absolutely you've got until let's say the first
of march yeah all right at lightlyused .co .uk
if you want to claim any of our tat but we're
donating mind you we've already got matt's address
we could just send it en masse to him Just as
a laugh. Unlabelled. Just an address label. No
letter. Just a box full of shit. I'm pretty sure
that that's a return address and we don't want
to start that chain of events. Just put a PA
box as a return address. We'd like... No. How
many PA boxes can it get sent to? Like chain
mail before someone goes, fuck it. Are there
any companies that have sent me loads of posts?
Oh, we could send it to ****. **** can be the
return address. We don't need to recommend sending
that. Moving swiftly on. To the keeping of the
tat. Okay. Okay. It's between your hands. Oh,
it's a small thing. It appears to have a flat
bottom. Hmm. It could be some sort of rubber
chicken. Material's kind of right. It's definitely
like squeaky. Well, it might not have had a squeak
in it, but it's got a safety hole in it. Well,
no, because there's only one hole. That's meant
to be there. What, the hole? It's a design feature,
the hole. That could be an arm. That could be
an arm, which makes those hands. It's not a safety
feature. It's part of the purpose of it. That
could be a golf club. Was it a squeaky thing?
Or is it to fire water at? Like a bath toy. There
we go. Is it like, I don't know, like a... It's
the wrong shape. You're right, it's a water squirter.
It could be an M &M holding, like, I don't know.
Some golf clubs or something? A super soaker?
No, it's an animal. It's an animal. The head
shape of one. Otherwise, I'll give it to you
from the water squirter. So that's not ears?
No. That's a protrusion of some sort. Nor the
bit where your thumb is there, not ears either.
And this is face? Where I thought could be arms?
Yes. So this is nose? No. Where your thumb's
other hand is, your right hand. Sorry, left hand
is the nose. This is the nose? Yes. So when I
asked, is this the head, and you said no. Sorry,
I missed you. It's all right. It's all a head.
It's all a head. Does it have a face? It's a
face. Yeah, being a head, yes. I'm being a head.
You've got it from the water squirter. I've no
idea what the actual character is, but it's a
rubber water squirter like you'd have in a bath.
Open your eyes. I can't see it. My muff's in
the eye. I could have been doing this entire
thing with my eyes open. Oh, it's a crocodile.
It's from Burger Kid and Kids Club. Movie tie
-in for Hook. I think when Hook came out on video.
Because I think Hook was in cinema. It was about
1991. But I think this is from 1993. God, that
makes me feel old. So I think that must have
been when it came out on video. Wow. Yeah, it
must have been. I didn't research it that much,
but I was thinking that must be the time gap.
You used to have to wait a couple of years for
films to come out on VHS. Because in the 90s,
Burger King did a kids club with membership cards.
Did they? I didn't know they had... Let's look
this bit up. It was a fandom site that said they
had magazines, calendars, And a card and also
a free meal on your birthday. My dad used to
get through his work. He used to get luncheon
vouchers in the 90s. Don't think he used them
all. He had loads spare, so he gave them to me.
When I went into town, Burger King in Swansea
took them. So, yeah, I used to get a free meal,
essentially. Free Burger Kings. And see here,
there's some promotion meal on. It must have
been a kids club meal deal. And that was the
TikTok croc tie -in for Hook. Very cool. There
is a Captain Hook water squirter. There was,
I think it fits into a plastic ring. And I think
you're meant to wear it on your hand. Oh. Really
bulky. Like a weird protrusion. Yeah, it's so
awkward. It was really uncomfortable to wear.
See how it didn't catch on. So that's why I just
took it off. I'll just aim it and squirt. That's
how you use it as a water squirter. It's very
cool. That didn't sound very convincing. I don't
remember if McDonald's took luncheon vouchers.
I only remember using them in Burger King. But
yeah, 1993, Burger King Kids Club, Hook tie -in.
Very nice. Piece of tat. Definitely. He's cool,
though. I think they go for, well, some people
have been asking anywhere between a couple of
quid up to five, six quid on eBay for them. In
their packets? I don't think I've seen those
for Captain Hook ones. I can't remember if they
had the packet, but they did have the ring. I've
not seen a TikTok one on there. Otherwise, I
would have just donated this. Fair enough. I
can't see them. I'll keep it. Yeah, yeah, absolutely.
It makes it rare. I know what I've got. Oh, yeah,
of course. It's rare because no one sells it.
How many Ford Focuses do you see in a day? I'd
rather find another. I couldn't. It must be rare.
I suppose that is the definition of rarity, not
being able to pick up another one just as you
like it. Okay. Eyes closed? Eyes closed. Hands
are out. Okay. On the table in front of you.
The sound is quite large and it feels quite large.
Thank you. It's a box. I'm guessing it's a game
of some kind that you're getting rid of again.
Yeah, yeah. Or it might actually be sellotape.
Close. Have a guess what the game is with the
lid sellotaped on whilst I... Do you want me
to check? I'm guessing it's something from maybe
the... judging by the texture of the card, which
is kind of... It feels like a fabric that's underlying
the pressed card. Oh, I get what you mean. Yeah,
there's a definite texture to it. Oh, no, the
lid is not... Oh, I don't know. Hang on. You
pull up, I'll pull down. There you go. Oh, there
we go. It's off. All right, so we do have a board
piece that's... Again, that... crosshatch sort
of texture to it again which is a 70s sort of
feel to it it's folded in half indeed uh one
side is i'm guessing this is the upside correct
playing face which feels a bit more glossy it's
about a foot and a bit in either direction maybe
30 centimeters being inclined to agree it's not
too much bigger than 30 centimeters square board
i'll reach back into oh Have you got the thing?
I've got the lid. There's the bottom. See if
I can feel any pieces that might give away. Instant.
Oh, it's a chess board. Correct. I've got a pawn
there. Oh, good for you. Oh, it looks like a
bishop. Oh, no, it is a pawn. It's too small
to be a bishop. Oh, yeah. Anyway. We made this.
This is Spears Games. Oh, yeah. Chess complete.
With a stout board and plastic chessmen and rules.
Of a Gregler du Joux. Metzberg. I don't know.
I can't read that. Chessmen Empire made. Box
and board. Made in England. JW Spear and Sons
Limited. Enfield, Middlesex, England. Don't actually
know when this was made. The box says 1545. But
I'm pretty sure it's not that old. Anything on
the base? Nope. Nothing on the base. And I will
admit to... Oh, there's a free elastic band in
there. No rules. I will admit to winging it and
grabbing this on the way out of the door as I
came to you. This is quite nice. Still a nice
feel to the injection moulded... Sorry, moulded
plastic. There's still a bit of flashing on the
side. You're quite right, because I was looking
at it thinking, oh, this could have come out
of a Christmas cracker. But they do feel quite
nice. Yeah. And they've all got little felt,
they've got felt bottoms, green felt bottoms,
so they don't slide around on your board. Yeah,
fair. They're not heavy pieces, but they also
don't feel cheap and nasty. So feel a bit more
modern than Bakelite plastic, but feels that
sort of era with its lightness and sheen and
texture to it. And the back of the board, it's
a... imitation leather sort of effectively oh
is that what it is i think i can see the texture
yeah i think that's meant to be so yeah leather
grain sort of oh like old victorian writing table
top sort of leather or like what they do in dashboards
in cars with the plastic elephant hide yeah oh
is that what it's based on gross anyway uh this
was a freebie from facebook along with many of
the other games that we've not gone through yet
And nobody I know either plays chess or likes
playing chess, and I don't want to play it on
my own, so in the donation box it goeth. I can
remember how the pieces move, but I've never
been good at chess. No. I think the last time
I played chess was possibly eight years ago.
I like the description, complete with stout board.
Yeah. It is a very sturdy and decent quality
board. However, is it stout descriptive or stout
as in that is the name of a chess board? Oh,
now you've got me. Okay, let's do a live Google.
This is not something we normally do. Does a
chessboard have an official name? There's no
year on there at all on the packaging. It must
be descriptive because the AI of the Goog says,
yes, the official and standard name for the playing
surface in chess is simply the chessboard. All
right, fuck you. So stout descriptive, not stout
naming. But sadly, the rules have gone AWOL.
Yeah, so, you know, unless you know how to play
chess, you're fucked, basically. I'll leave the
lid off while I'll be taking photos of these.
Oh, yeah, that's a good idea. Likelyused .co
.uk. Photos of all the items we've talked about
today and links to everything we've talked about
as well. Indeed. One more to go. Close your eyes.
Oh, yes. This is my keeping tat. Okay. And I
will say it's in a box that gives nothing away
whatsoever. And if you open it, you may not know.
Okay. But it's on the table facing you. I don't
even know what it's called. Let's see. Oh, I
do know what it's called because it says it on
the back of the box. Okay. Let's see if I can
guess this anywhere near as well as the chest.
You were with me when I bought this and it has
been on display in my flat for at least 12 months.
If that helps. No, I'm very unobservant. It's
in a... Half plastic, half cellophane sort of
box display item. Yeah. I think it's been possibly
repaired here in the corner. The box is damaged,
yeah. The plastic on the front is damaged. Can
I open it? You can take it out. Yeah, go for
it. Is that the best way to open it? Okay. I
assume so. I've never taken it out of the box
myself. Oh. Official unboxing ceremony. I'm guessing
it's going to be a figure of some sort. Oh, okay.
Just because it's... Again, I'm basing this purely
on the style of the box. Because the thing is
sat in a cradle inside the box. Oh. Or maybe
it's not an action figure. No, it's not an action
figure. Okay, it's going to be some sort of puzzle.
Correct. And that was maybe... Just the display
box to show you, ah, this is what you're getting.
Correct. Feel free to take it out of the box
completely. I do not believe you can break it
and nothing is going to fall off it. Okay. I've
got some very thin... There are moving parts,
but I believe it is stable through the centre.
It's out of the box now. I've got a... That's
the way it sits up, so that's the base. Octagonal?
Pentagonal? Wooden base? I think it's hexagonal.
I think it's six -sided. Oh, it is six, yes.
And it feels like a sort of Christmas tree arrangement.
with very thin wooden pieces that spin around
a central spine with a little ball on the end,
like an end of an abacus sort of thing. I'm guessing
a metal or wooden dowel running through the middle
of these shapes. Are you meant to line these
up? In a way. Do you want to have a look? Oh,
it's... Pagoda? Do you think it looks like a
Japanese pagoda? A little bit, yeah. Oh, hang
on. There's just a bit of cardboard out of the
box. Is it a puzzle thing to release the balls
by turning the circles around in a certain...
Okay. Order? Yeah, you're pretty close. Oh, there's
a hole at the bottom where the balls are released
from when you finally free them. So this is the
Aztec Ghost Tower by True Genius. It was bought
in Barnardo's. It cost me two pounds. And I actually
think that this is one of the, you know, Barnardo's
sell a load of crap like toys and shit brand
new. Yes. I think it was one of those, but because
it had gotten damaged, they marked it down to
two quid. So it says this on the back of the
box. In 2015, archaeologists at the National
Institute of Anthropomology and History discovered
and excavated the remains of a truly ghastly
relic. Let's bring this closer so we can see
it. From the ancient Aztec Empire. Two towers
of human skulls. For the Aztecs, those skulls
were the seeds that would ensure the continued
existence of humanity. They were a sign of life
and regeneration, like the first flowers of spring.
Some conquistadors... I can't believe I actually
managed to figure out what that word was. Some
conquistadors wrote about the towers, estimating
that they contained up to 130 ,000 skulls. You'll
need to use everything in your own skull to solve
this puzzle inspired by the ancient ghost tower.
Jumble up the tower by using the empty space
at the bottom to move the skulls one at a time.
Then twist each layer and pass these skulls from
one end to the other end of the tower to the
next until each column is filled with skulls
of the same colour. Oh. So you're not trying
to get them out. You're trying to get all of
the greens on one layer, all of the orange on
another layer, all of the blue together, all
of the pink together. And as I say, I've not
taken this out of the box before, so I have not
tried it. But it's a fun little thing. But also
the challenge is it seems that every single slot
is already full. There should be one empty slot,
it says. Unless someone's already had a go on
it and it's not the bottom layer. No, it's not
the bottom layer. And also there's a ball in
the bottom bit that doesn't come out. That's
what I was trying to work out. Ah, interesting.
So there's a way. There's got to be a holding.
I'm guessing one of these is a holding place
for that blank one. Ah. No, your dad will get
much more enjoyment out of that than me. My brain
doesn't work that way. Oh, my God. Those puzzles
that I get from my dad for Christmas, they're
brilliant. He solved the one that I got him that
was like super genius master level, the hardest
one you can. Oh, he'll. And it took him, in fairness,
it took him a whole 24 hours. I was pleased with
that. If that wasn't, maybe he'd be able to solve
that in the bath then. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, maybe
not a bathroom toy, but definitely. And I'm bored
and I need to do something with my hands to kind
of toy. Yeah, that's definitely a keeper, that
one. But yeah, I can understand why he's going
to be a slightly musty chess set away. Very slightly
musty. Unless somebody wants to call dibs on
them by the 1st of March. Pod at lightlyused
.co .uk. If you fancy the sound of... Any of
the items we've featured in our donation section
at all this year so far. Indeed, they are up
for grabs. The donations, to be specific, as
Adam has already said, but the donation items,
the items that we're setting aside to donate,
those are the ones that are available. Everything
else we're keeping because we're selfish. So
it's the... Your green suit. My old trousers.
Your cargo pants. My hat. Your hat. Trivial pursuit.
I donated a hoodie to you. What was the other
one? What was the other donation item? Oh, I'm
donating a hoodie as well. Oh, the blue one.
That your hoodie to meet Christmas present replaced.
That's going away. We didn't really feature that
on the show, but we're getting rid of it. I'm
sure there's a couple of other things. The hat
we mentioned there. We've done three at least.
Your comic. Girls by Luna Brothers from last
episode. Oh, my God. Trying to get that out of
your memory already. Speaking of which. Did you
find anything out about them? I did look on IGN
for that. There's two -word review. I can't remember
exactly what they were, but there's this. Intriguing
and something. Literally, one word, ellipse,
ellipse, ellipse. Second word, end quote. But
they were cherry -picked two single words. I
looked on IGN. I couldn't find a review of the
first episode, first issue. Oh, really? There
was an interview with them about it coming out
and a little bit, didn't want to give away much
about the story at the time, other than pretty
much the blurb on the back was pretty much all
they gave away. They talked about some previous
comic graphic novel they'd done called Ultra.
And this is apparently the complete opposite
of it. The next issue review was, I think, episode
9, then 10, 14. There were a couple of sporadic
reviews throughout, I think, a 24 -issue series.
Right, okay. One of the ones was, I think, quite
critical of this Overlong series. Overlong, ooh.
One of them, I think, episode, issue, I keep
saying episode, issue 10 or 14. Then they said
that was something complimentary. Oh, really?
They said they could have got away with cutting
quite a few issues out of the runs to get to
this part of the storyline. Overall, they weren't
too complimentary and those were two definitely
cherry -picked words. I read about five reviews.
They were very short. Yeah. But yeah, I read
about five issues worth of reviews and none of
them seems praising. Fair enough. That can definitely
be redonated. It seems a skippable graphic novel.
Yeah. Fair enough. Thanks for the update. You're
very welcome. I'm very sorry to your mum again
that we didn't get round to playing Ski Horse,
Sky Joe. She won't mind. To be fair, what time
is it now? I don't know. I don't even want to
know. It's twenty past eleven now. Okay. It's
bedtime. what time did we start nine o 'clock
ish 20 to 10 something like that yeah we've taken
a piss -takingly long amount of time to record
very very well what will be very very little
by the time i've finished editing this the input
to output ratio of this show is all to cock it's
non -sustainable anyway it's outro time it's
outro time we made it to the end it's outro time
it's outro time Thanks for listening. I've got
to stop recording. Okay, I will say... We're
on the internet, likelyuse .co .uk and anything
else I'm going to hand over to you. Okie dokie.
So we are on Facebook, Instagram, all of the...
podcast streaming services we also have a youtube
channel um i did do some videos a fortnight ago
but i haven't got around to editing them yet
so they might actually show up on the youtube
channel at some point or another a bit of behind
the scenes interest for you we are part of the
studio channel 84 and podcast and network of
independent ad free podcasts along with myself
and adam you will also find Tom and Rob, who
do the variety show. Rob and Tom, who do the
untitled sci -fi show. And Simon and Ross, who
do Who Takes the Socks Off? They also do a spin
-off of Socks On or Off, which is a bit like
a mini episode where they ask you a question.
Would you rather do this or would you rather
do this? And then you just have like a 20 -minute
chat about it. So if you're into any of that...
bit of random stuff in life then tag along to
channel84 .co .uk you'll find all of the shows
you'll find all of our contacts all of our email
addresses and we will love you for it any likes
shares rates and reviews are hugely hugely appreciated
and if you'd like to slag us off it's pod at
lightlyused .co .uk night night adam and karen
have been lightly used Visit LightTheUse .co
.uk for more. To get in touch, email pod at LightTheUse
.co .uk. I'm no mere woman. No, for fuck's sake.
I've not gone too hard on turnip, my friend.
That sounded like the night then. Chorio tip.
Chorio good for castle. Skip under the walls.
Just find the secret entrance to the underground.