WEBVTT

00:00:02.250 --> 00:00:05.330
Ah - episode 34. Sorry, I knew...I had 33 written

00:00:05.330 --> 00:00:07.370
in the corner of the last one. Hang on, what's

00:00:07.370 --> 00:00:11.490
this? No, it's 33A. 33A? Have you done a secret

00:00:11.490 --> 00:00:13.490
episode? A day for additional notes. Oh, right,

00:00:13.669 --> 00:00:16.010
OK. My notes took two pages, so I thought, oh,

00:00:16.030 --> 00:00:19.370
A, then that could be B. So actually, the last

00:00:19.370 --> 00:00:21.550
couple of notes for the last episode ended up

00:00:21.550 --> 00:00:22.870
being the first couple of things I talked about.

00:00:23.489 --> 00:00:25.949
Fair enough. I'll just have to organise my notes

00:00:25.949 --> 00:00:28.460
in some way that makes sense to me. Yeah. I didn't

00:00:28.460 --> 00:00:32.520
expect to read that bit out loud ever. Sorry.

00:00:32.920 --> 00:00:36.560
My bad. Secret. I can't be arsed. You can't get

00:00:36.560 --> 00:00:38.479
away with anything. Karen just sees it and goes,

00:00:38.579 --> 00:00:41.399
what's that? No. Just the thought of me doing

00:00:41.399 --> 00:00:44.039
secret episodes. Just doing this one podcast

00:00:44.039 --> 00:00:46.780
is enough for me. Aww. Let alone doing secret

00:00:46.780 --> 00:00:50.950
podcasts. Fuck that. No. I can't be bothered

00:00:50.950 --> 00:00:53.869
to edit that. Secret podcaster instead of secret

00:00:53.869 --> 00:00:59.450
lemonade drinker. Yeah, I don't want anyone to

00:00:59.450 --> 00:01:01.450
listen to my podcast. It's secret. Yeah, super

00:01:01.450 --> 00:01:03.170
secret. It's just for me. I'm going through all

00:01:03.170 --> 00:01:05.290
this effort, but nobody better listen to it.

00:01:05.409 --> 00:01:07.569
No one's listening to this. It's just for me.

00:01:08.230 --> 00:01:10.799
Just go on talking out loud. That's your secret

00:01:10.799 --> 00:01:13.340
podcast. Just like the sound of your own voice.

00:01:14.640 --> 00:01:18.859
The truth is out now, listeners! Sorry. Like that was a

00:01:18.859 --> 00:01:25.560
secret! All those Johnny Turnips didn't give it away?

00:01:25.560 --> 00:01:27.400
Ikind of miss Johnny Turnip. The ego on this

00:01:27.400 --> 00:01:31.200
motherfucker. Well, I'm hoping that we can go

00:01:31.200 --> 00:01:33.420
back to our regular schedule in the new year.

00:01:33.540 --> 00:01:36.640
I don't know if I'll bother with the Linux desktop.

00:01:36.799 --> 00:01:40.230
I've had a look into it. In some ways, it's a

00:01:40.230 --> 00:01:42.769
lot simpler than I thought. Right. I fucked up

00:01:42.769 --> 00:01:45.349
somewhere along the lines. Oh, okay. Surprise,

00:01:45.409 --> 00:01:47.670
surprise. I know the barrier to entry is pretty

00:01:47.670 --> 00:01:49.790
steep because there's a learning curve to using

00:01:49.790 --> 00:01:53.390
it. So if you can't install it, maybe this isn't

00:01:53.390 --> 00:01:57.989
for you. Hmm. Okay, yeah, I'm kind of good with

00:01:57.989 --> 00:02:03.930
that, but I don't like Windows. I don't like

00:02:03.930 --> 00:02:07.659
that Windows is... kind of your only option if

00:02:07.659 --> 00:02:10.740
you're not buying an apple product in terms of

00:02:10.740 --> 00:02:13.439
like desktop just general consumer yeah i know

00:02:13.439 --> 00:02:16.080
you can get chromebooks now that are like google

00:02:16.080 --> 00:02:19.840
uh not yeah they're google based but all the

00:02:19.840 --> 00:02:21.939
applications are windows applications if you

00:02:21.939 --> 00:02:24.039
want to do anything practical so it's like there

00:02:24.039 --> 00:02:26.879
isn't really a way to get away from it That's

00:02:26.879 --> 00:02:28.400
why I'm trying to keep my Windows 7 computer

00:02:28.400 --> 00:02:30.900
in my smoking room for as long as I can. That's

00:02:30.900 --> 00:02:34.120
what the show's produced on. If that dies, this

00:02:34.120 --> 00:02:37.659
show has to stop for a long, long time. If that

00:02:37.659 --> 00:02:40.900
computer dies, I need to learn to edit. Yeah,

00:02:40.900 --> 00:02:44.159
I can't get on with Windows 11. You're comfortable

00:02:44.159 --> 00:02:46.340
with what you're comfortable with. Yeah, the

00:02:46.340 --> 00:02:49.800
version of Adobe Audition from 2000 and something.

00:02:50.080 --> 00:02:52.000
And there ain't nothing wrong with that. Listen,

00:02:52.120 --> 00:02:54.199
we're still in 2000 and something, so you're

00:02:54.199 --> 00:02:57.479
all right. No, in 2020 -something. But it's still

00:02:57.479 --> 00:03:00.840
2000 -something. This is like with zeros in the

00:03:00.840 --> 00:03:03.419
20 -odd years ago. We're still in the same century.

00:03:04.080 --> 00:03:06.560
Windows 7 is the last operating system that can

00:03:06.560 --> 00:03:09.560
revert back to Windows XP mode to run it. Wow.

00:03:09.900 --> 00:03:11.560
I used to love Windows XP. So it shouldn't work

00:03:11.560 --> 00:03:16.039
on Windows 7 even. Wow. Yeah, so that's what

00:03:16.039 --> 00:03:19.680
diastrates this podcast. Or I'm in, technologically

00:03:19.680 --> 00:03:23.020
-wise. I have not moved on from Windows 7. That's

00:03:23.020 --> 00:03:26.419
the last, in my mind, good or acceptable, not

00:03:26.419 --> 00:03:31.159
as good as XP. XP was the best. Yeah. Yeah. Without,

00:03:31.379 --> 00:03:33.379
you know, there's no arguments. They should just

00:03:33.379 --> 00:03:36.240
do a modern XP. Just keep making that secure.

00:03:36.539 --> 00:03:39.360
Yeah. You're fine. Everyone liked it. Yeah, it

00:03:39.360 --> 00:03:41.659
worked. I say everyone. You know, when people

00:03:41.659 --> 00:03:44.879
are... Like Windows. Yeah, I mean, it was good

00:03:44.879 --> 00:03:46.460
enough to run the health board computer systems

00:03:46.460 --> 00:03:49.360
on. Yeah, to be fair, a lot of stuff is run on

00:03:49.360 --> 00:03:52.500
very outdated Windows regarding a lot of the

00:03:52.500 --> 00:03:55.319
government's infrastructure. Let's not get into

00:03:55.319 --> 00:03:58.879
that. No, we're not a political podcast. That's

00:03:58.879 --> 00:04:01.500
the secret portion of the episode. Nobody listen

00:04:01.500 --> 00:04:03.620
to that bit. We are pundits of a different kind.

00:04:03.819 --> 00:04:11.159
Of what? I'm not sure. Moving on. Yes. is rightly

00:04:11.159 --> 00:04:22.470
used with Adam and Carol. Merry Christmas. Ho,

00:04:22.670 --> 00:04:26.370
ho, ho. Hey, hey, hey. Merry Christmas, guys.

00:04:26.470 --> 00:04:31.290
Merry Christmas. Sorry, I couldn't help myself.

00:04:31.430 --> 00:04:36.949
I just said we're not a political podcast. You're

00:04:36.949 --> 00:04:43.389
so naughty. You're on the naughty list. Welcome

00:04:43.389 --> 00:04:45.930
to episode 34. I don't know if we said that.

00:04:46.089 --> 00:04:48.930
I'm Karen and he's Adam. Hello. Hello, hello,

00:04:48.990 --> 00:04:55.410
hello. Oh, God. I owe you two thank yous. Me?

00:04:55.769 --> 00:04:57.629
Yeah, for the last episode. You're welcome and

00:04:57.629 --> 00:05:00.269
you're welcome. I was just in my own little bit

00:05:00.269 --> 00:05:02.110
of headspace trying to remember some talking

00:05:02.110 --> 00:05:04.870
points. I don't think I clocked you mentioning

00:05:04.870 --> 00:05:07.250
two things. I didn't say thank you on the pod

00:05:07.250 --> 00:05:09.850
for my Halloween pants. Oh, that's okay. I did

00:05:09.850 --> 00:05:11.410
thank you in person, but on the pod, it just

00:05:11.410 --> 00:05:13.029
seemed like I just glossed over that completely.

00:05:13.389 --> 00:05:15.350
Well, yeah, but, you know, you and I know what

00:05:15.350 --> 00:05:16.949
we talked about before we started recording,

00:05:17.029 --> 00:05:19.339
and it was just a passing comment. but also didn't

00:05:19.339 --> 00:05:22.879
quite register in the show. So I did gloss over

00:05:22.879 --> 00:05:24.480
that without saying anything. So you don't actually

00:05:24.480 --> 00:05:26.959
listen to me then? I was trying to remember what

00:05:26.959 --> 00:05:29.240
I was trying to think of my next few sentences.

00:05:29.360 --> 00:05:31.480
You're so ADHD. I don't believe you don't believe

00:05:31.480 --> 00:05:35.740
it. I do believe in it. No, not believe in it.

00:05:35.819 --> 00:05:38.180
Believe that you are it. Oh, yeah, I do. I'm

00:05:38.180 --> 00:05:40.500
bloody well probably am. It just means I don't

00:05:40.500 --> 00:05:42.100
see the point of being diagnosed. I don't think

00:05:42.100 --> 00:05:44.660
that will help me to know. Yes, you are. OK,

00:05:44.819 --> 00:05:50.079
yeah. Your hair's brown. Okay. What can I do

00:05:50.079 --> 00:05:54.800
with that? Anyway, what was the apology to? It

00:05:54.800 --> 00:05:57.459
did sound rude in the pod. I didn't thank you

00:05:57.459 --> 00:06:00.300
for searching the Hot Wheels for me when the

00:06:00.300 --> 00:06:03.040
bottom of the box fell out in Aldi when you were

00:06:03.040 --> 00:06:04.300
looking. You said, yeah, when I was looking for

00:06:04.300 --> 00:06:09.060
you. I didn't mean it. You scattered them all

00:06:09.060 --> 00:06:11.279
over the till in Aldi and spent 40 minutes putting

00:06:11.279 --> 00:06:15.540
them back. I didn't thank you. That's my story.

00:06:16.170 --> 00:06:19.709
I've got to finish what I'm talking about. We're

00:06:19.709 --> 00:06:23.990
so alike. In my defence, I did say thanks when

00:06:23.990 --> 00:06:25.610
you told me when we were coming back in the car

00:06:25.610 --> 00:06:27.790
from Cheap Show Live when you first told me.

00:06:27.870 --> 00:06:30.129
Yes, yeah. But on the podcast, it just sounds

00:06:30.129 --> 00:06:33.490
like I'm completely blanking you, brother. This

00:06:33.490 --> 00:06:35.209
is why I don't want you telling me stuff in advance

00:06:35.209 --> 00:06:38.170
for the show because I know that I will just

00:06:38.170 --> 00:06:41.829
have... Yeah, I know that. I won't have the...

00:06:41.829 --> 00:06:44.670
Oh! Well, I won't have the genuine reaction you

00:06:44.670 --> 00:06:50.060
need. So I go, yep, yep, I'm aware. Dear listener.

00:06:50.620 --> 00:06:55.579
The one of you. Matt. If and when Adam doesn't

00:06:55.579 --> 00:06:57.720
acknowledge or say thank you to me for something

00:06:57.720 --> 00:07:00.060
that I mention flippantly whilst we're recording,

00:07:00.279 --> 00:07:02.860
it's because we've already discussed it in private

00:07:02.860 --> 00:07:04.839
ourselves and that conversation has already been

00:07:04.839 --> 00:07:07.060
had. So a second thank you is kind of like not

00:07:07.060 --> 00:07:09.720
really necessary. So please don't be offended

00:07:09.720 --> 00:07:12.100
and don't think that he's ungrateful. He is very

00:07:12.100 --> 00:07:15.019
kind, but just forgets to say thank you a second

00:07:15.019 --> 00:07:17.259
time, which is totally fine. Because that's for

00:07:17.259 --> 00:07:19.610
your benefit, not mine. Now, those thank yous

00:07:19.610 --> 00:07:21.509
are out of the way. I also do owe you an apology.

00:07:21.730 --> 00:07:25.170
Oh, fuck. What have you been doing? When I was

00:07:25.170 --> 00:07:26.970
un -jinxing you, it's more of an explanation.

00:07:26.970 --> 00:07:28.889
When I was un -jinxing you, I called you Karen

00:07:28.889 --> 00:07:37.519
Judas Chesters. And in my mind... Now... To me,

00:07:37.540 --> 00:07:40.420
that was a Red Dwarf reference. Anybody else?

00:07:40.439 --> 00:07:45.019
What the fuck? What a guy. Yeah, I just didn't

00:07:45.019 --> 00:07:48.199
clarify the fact. It just sounded like I was

00:07:48.199 --> 00:07:50.259
calling you a backstabber for no reason, essentially.

00:07:50.379 --> 00:07:52.420
I can't even remember what the context of it

00:07:52.420 --> 00:07:54.639
was. It seemed an appropriate time to say it.

00:07:54.759 --> 00:07:57.439
No, I just had to unjinx you. And it involved

00:07:57.439 --> 00:07:59.779
you saying your full name. Oh, that's right,

00:07:59.920 --> 00:08:02.639
yeah. Yeah, it just came up as Rimmer's got an

00:08:02.639 --> 00:08:04.920
embarrassing middle name. That's the only context

00:08:04.920 --> 00:08:06.540
it came up with. Rimmer's got an embarrassing...

00:08:06.569 --> 00:08:12.250
middle name yeah that 90s pop references we're

00:08:12.250 --> 00:08:18.660
so old we are Absolute Radio 90s in the car home

00:08:18.660 --> 00:08:22.079
from Cardiff today was a banger. It was. I knew

00:08:22.079 --> 00:08:24.819
nearly all of the lyrics to all of the songs

00:08:24.819 --> 00:08:26.959
they put on for the solid hour it took us to

00:08:26.959 --> 00:08:28.920
get back. I was really chuffed. I was familiar

00:08:28.920 --> 00:08:30.920
with nearly all of the songs they played. And

00:08:30.920 --> 00:08:33.080
you guessed exactly when they put the adverts

00:08:33.080 --> 00:08:36.600
on based on your hospital radio experience. I've

00:08:36.600 --> 00:08:38.899
done actual radio as well. Well, I didn't want

00:08:38.899 --> 00:08:40.840
to... We don't have to play adverts on hospital

00:08:40.840 --> 00:08:43.299
radio. It's even better in some regards. I don't

00:08:43.299 --> 00:08:44.960
want to out you for everything. I've already

00:08:44.960 --> 00:08:47.779
outed you for... Whatever it was I outed you

00:08:47.779 --> 00:08:49.759
for five minutes ago that I've forgotten about.

00:08:50.000 --> 00:08:51.700
Oh, as long as it was this episode, people can

00:08:51.700 --> 00:08:53.200
remember that. Yeah. Otherwise, we're referring

00:08:53.200 --> 00:08:54.779
back to stuff. I outed you for five minutes ago.

00:08:55.279 --> 00:08:57.360
Nebulously. I'm outing you for... That sounds

00:08:57.360 --> 00:09:04.539
worse than it probably was. Oh, my God. Have

00:09:04.539 --> 00:09:06.759
we both been taking happy pills today or what?

00:09:06.879 --> 00:09:09.919
We're just too tired. This is a lack of sleep.

00:09:10.200 --> 00:09:12.720
Delirium. We've gone past the point of tiredness.

00:09:16.549 --> 00:09:19.750
Oh my God. So two thank yous and an apology.

00:09:19.909 --> 00:09:25.090
Any corrections? I think that kind of were sort

00:09:25.090 --> 00:09:27.409
of corrections as well. I do have a bit of an

00:09:27.409 --> 00:09:30.809
update. Less than a week after recording the

00:09:30.809 --> 00:09:33.110
last episode about my Hot Wheels problem, I was

00:09:33.110 --> 00:09:35.190
going to limit my purchases. There's more than

00:09:35.190 --> 00:09:37.850
like double the number of cars in the room within

00:09:37.850 --> 00:09:41.299
the space of a month. It's a real nice decorating

00:09:41.299 --> 00:09:44.320
style. It looks a lot better now. It looks really

00:09:44.320 --> 00:09:47.360
good, actually. I'm now happy to show the photo

00:09:47.360 --> 00:09:49.139
that I was too embarrassed to show last time.

00:09:49.259 --> 00:09:52.240
Yeah, and this is what I've done about it. I've

00:09:52.240 --> 00:09:54.600
engorged my embarrassment for your pleasure.

00:09:54.820 --> 00:09:58.240
Well, the wall doesn't look as crappy now. It's

00:09:58.240 --> 00:10:01.539
just a blank wall, essentially, with a couple

00:10:01.539 --> 00:10:03.740
of cars dotted on it. It's definitely gone from

00:10:03.740 --> 00:10:07.460
looking a little bit sad to... Actually quite

00:10:07.460 --> 00:10:09.820
impressive now. Oh, from just a little bit sad

00:10:09.820 --> 00:10:12.580
to you've got a problem. No, I prefer that. I

00:10:12.580 --> 00:10:15.299
already asked you if you had a problem when it

00:10:15.299 --> 00:10:17.700
looked a little bit sad. Now I've confirmed for

00:10:17.700 --> 00:10:19.980
myself that you do, but actually it looks kind

00:10:19.980 --> 00:10:22.559
of cool. It doesn't look as sad. The sadness

00:10:22.559 --> 00:10:24.200
has definitely ebbed away from the collection.

00:10:24.519 --> 00:10:27.179
It's now becoming impressive. But yeah, I'm more

00:10:27.179 --> 00:10:29.879
than happy to absolutely cool my boots at this

00:10:29.879 --> 00:10:32.740
stage. Helped by the fact there aren't any cars

00:10:32.740 --> 00:10:35.059
that I really, really want at the moment this

00:10:35.059 --> 00:10:37.259
year. And I have not got you any for Christmas.

00:10:39.019 --> 00:10:41.700
I was going to save this for later. Oh, God.

00:10:42.419 --> 00:10:46.419
What have you done now? Because I mentioned Christmas.

00:10:47.240 --> 00:10:50.820
You know what they are anyway. I forgot to give

00:10:50.820 --> 00:10:54.080
them to you unwrapped. I thought, considering

00:10:54.080 --> 00:10:56.139
it's been so long since I forgot to give you

00:10:56.139 --> 00:10:58.740
them, I might as well wrap them for you, boy.

00:10:59.740 --> 00:11:01.639
Are we calling this a late birthday present,

00:11:01.700 --> 00:11:04.639
early stocking Christmas filler? Have you lost

00:11:04.639 --> 00:11:05.980
your pen? Did you put it in your bag? Yeah, I

00:11:05.980 --> 00:11:07.559
left it over there somewhere. I'll grab it in

00:11:07.559 --> 00:11:10.600
a second. So I'm going to guess that these are

00:11:10.600 --> 00:11:15.399
Hot Wheels. How did you guess? My psychic fingers

00:11:15.399 --> 00:11:22.440
know all. Oh, cool. I can't remember which ones

00:11:22.440 --> 00:11:24.879
are which. I've got a roller toaster and an instant

00:11:24.879 --> 00:11:31.639
boost. From the HW starting grid and the experimentors.

00:11:32.120 --> 00:11:35.100
Those are very cool. So I'm hoping this scenario

00:11:35.100 --> 00:11:37.600
didn't happen before when a few weeks ago, on

00:11:37.600 --> 00:11:40.259
the same day, we both bought each other the same

00:11:40.259 --> 00:11:42.899
two cars. We did, yeah. I'd gone out shopping

00:11:42.899 --> 00:11:44.820
and gone, oh, I'll have a look and see what Adam

00:11:44.820 --> 00:11:46.860
needs. And then you'd gone out shopping and gone,

00:11:46.919 --> 00:11:49.279
oh, I need those ones. And the next time I saw

00:11:49.279 --> 00:11:50.639
you, I was like, I got you these. And you were

00:11:50.639 --> 00:11:53.659
like, oh. I got you those too. Both with the

00:11:53.659 --> 00:11:56.299
intention of giving them to each other. Oh, the

00:11:56.299 --> 00:12:00.019
jelly one is so cool. He's purple and pink. Yeah,

00:12:00.059 --> 00:12:02.259
it's a good jelly one. That's a really good jelly

00:12:02.259 --> 00:12:06.059
one. Oh, and the donuts ace. Oh, you got me an

00:12:06.059 --> 00:12:09.820
Optimus Prime as well. Oh my God, thank you very

00:12:09.820 --> 00:12:13.799
much. You're very, very welcome. Oh, yay. I'll

00:12:13.799 --> 00:12:15.539
be glad to take these away from your property.

00:12:17.279 --> 00:12:20.149
Place them into mine. Yeah, that problem's your

00:12:20.149 --> 00:12:22.649
problem. Yeah, that's the one. A problem shared

00:12:22.649 --> 00:12:26.330
is a problem in this case. Doubled. Sextupled.

00:12:29.129 --> 00:12:33.549
Thank you. Sorry, I've just bombarded the start

00:12:33.549 --> 00:12:35.809
of the show with stuff I was talking about. That's

00:12:35.809 --> 00:12:37.370
quite all right. And I know you said you had

00:12:37.370 --> 00:12:39.330
a few things you wanted to mention. I will follow

00:12:39.330 --> 00:12:42.769
up with my own talking points. So, speaking of...

00:12:43.200 --> 00:12:45.860
Thanks, apologies and corrections. Don't drop

00:12:45.860 --> 00:12:49.000
your tea. That was brave. That was a real brave

00:12:49.000 --> 00:12:51.820
manoeuvre. That was a big mug of tea being lifted

00:12:51.820 --> 00:12:54.600
down from two feet, you know, from high to low.

00:12:54.820 --> 00:12:56.500
That was impressive. That's why I thought I'd

00:12:56.500 --> 00:12:57.899
better hand over to you to talk. I can give this

00:12:57.899 --> 00:13:00.000
my full concentration for two seconds. And then

00:13:00.000 --> 00:13:03.039
I went, oh, let's draw attention to it. See,

00:13:03.259 --> 00:13:06.360
Karen sees, Karen says. That's why I'm so good

00:13:06.360 --> 00:13:09.700
at catchphrase. Yeah, but pressure's on, Adam.

00:13:09.860 --> 00:13:12.340
I'm actively watching you and I'm commentating

00:13:12.340 --> 00:13:14.820
on it for the listeners. Don't spill it directly

00:13:14.820 --> 00:13:17.740
over the expensive mixer and your white desk

00:13:17.740 --> 00:13:20.460
cover. I'm hiding behind my muff. I can no longer

00:13:20.460 --> 00:13:25.259
see your face. So I have what I think might be

00:13:25.259 --> 00:13:28.820
not maybe my first correction, but maybe my second

00:13:28.820 --> 00:13:32.620
correction ever. Good listening. With caveat.

00:13:33.740 --> 00:13:38.279
It's not my correction. It comes from our dear

00:13:38.279 --> 00:13:41.559
listener, Matt from A Pint of Cthulhu. Hi, Matt.

00:13:42.659 --> 00:13:46.899
And it's based on my tap from the last episode.

00:13:46.919 --> 00:13:50.720
So the double Garfield. He sent me a screenshot

00:13:50.720 --> 00:13:56.299
of looks like a clip from the movie. And the

00:13:56.299 --> 00:14:00.620
large cat is Garfield's father. I thought it

00:14:00.620 --> 00:14:03.210
was a lady cat. The caption is like Garfield

00:14:03.210 --> 00:14:05.909
meets his dad or something like that. So with

00:14:05.909 --> 00:14:08.809
the caveat of this is Matt's correction and not

00:14:08.809 --> 00:14:11.309
mine. And also Matt said he wasn't entirely sure

00:14:11.309 --> 00:14:13.889
if this was the correct correction or not. Big

00:14:13.889 --> 00:14:17.309
Garfield is Garfield's dad. Thank you, Matt.

00:14:17.730 --> 00:14:20.509
Thanks. Do we have a name for Garfield's dad?

00:14:20.889 --> 00:14:23.940
No. Just Garfield's dad. I don't think he researched

00:14:23.940 --> 00:14:26.600
it that hard. In the episode, it's called it

00:14:26.600 --> 00:14:29.820
Mongo Garfield from Blazing Saddles. The guy

00:14:29.820 --> 00:14:33.360
that comes into town riding an ox. Nice. Nice.

00:14:33.419 --> 00:14:35.159
I like that reference. Mongo just porn in Game

00:14:35.159 --> 00:14:39.690
of Life. oh thank you matt thanks for uh setting

00:14:39.690 --> 00:14:43.009
the record straight on who that cat is well potentially

00:14:43.009 --> 00:14:45.549
straight it could be just as a wonky line as

00:14:45.549 --> 00:14:48.350
it was as us not knowing but it's closer to detail

00:14:48.350 --> 00:14:51.370
than than i had been i have an answer yeah yeah

00:14:51.370 --> 00:14:54.450
so thank you matt appreciate you link to a bite

00:14:54.450 --> 00:14:56.330
of cthulhu will be in the episode description

00:14:56.330 --> 00:14:58.769
and metadata excellent give them a listen that's

00:14:58.769 --> 00:15:00.990
good of you to say that and also remind yourself

00:15:00.990 --> 00:15:03.720
to do it when you listen to the editing I would

00:15:03.720 --> 00:15:07.159
have anyway. Yeah, yeah. So another... I promise.

00:15:09.059 --> 00:15:12.740
Another follow -up from my last episode. My little

00:15:12.740 --> 00:15:14.460
brother sleepwalking, scaring the living bloody

00:15:14.460 --> 00:15:17.840
daylights out of me. Oh, yes. So my brother Mark,

00:15:18.039 --> 00:15:20.940
who turned 40 a couple of days ago. Happy 40th,

00:15:20.940 --> 00:15:22.419
Mark. I know you don't listen back. Many happy

00:15:22.419 --> 00:15:25.799
returns. I spoke to mum after the last episode

00:15:25.799 --> 00:15:29.539
came out and she was like, I laughed so much

00:15:29.539 --> 00:15:32.799
listening back to that story that... I was crying.

00:15:32.919 --> 00:15:35.240
She's like, I had tears pouring out of my eyes.

00:15:35.340 --> 00:15:38.259
Your trauma was hilarious. Yeah, well, and then

00:15:38.259 --> 00:15:41.779
she said, I kind of owe you an apology because

00:15:41.779 --> 00:15:44.379
I didn't realise how horrible we were to you.

00:15:44.700 --> 00:15:47.320
You said you were crying, I'm sure. I know. I

00:15:47.320 --> 00:15:49.919
was like, look, mum, you know, I kind of got

00:15:49.919 --> 00:15:52.620
where you were coming from. I was 18, sort of,

00:15:52.620 --> 00:15:55.320
17, 18. I should be able to cope with these things.

00:15:55.539 --> 00:15:57.759
And she's like, yeah, but you'd been really poorly.

00:15:58.909 --> 00:16:02.309
And I don't recall being unwell, but Mum was

00:16:02.309 --> 00:16:04.450
like, you were really unwell and your brother

00:16:04.450 --> 00:16:06.490
scared the crap out of you. You were quite feverish

00:16:06.490 --> 00:16:08.029
and sleep deprived anyway. Yeah, you were crying.

00:16:08.169 --> 00:16:10.730
And we just told you to go check on your brother

00:16:10.730 --> 00:16:15.750
and go back to bed. Make sure he's okay. So,

00:16:15.830 --> 00:16:18.220
like, me and Mum... both crying laughing at each

00:16:18.220 --> 00:16:20.379
other because she's like oh my god i'm so sorry

00:16:20.379 --> 00:16:22.340
i didn't realize we were that mean to you and

00:16:22.340 --> 00:16:24.179
i was like mum it was a really long time ago

00:16:24.179 --> 00:16:26.539
and it's a really funny story as long as you've

00:16:26.539 --> 00:16:28.539
got a good story it hasn't got me any free beers

00:16:28.539 --> 00:16:31.440
yet but it's a really funny story so yeah so

00:16:31.440 --> 00:16:33.899
it turns out my parents are even more cruel than

00:16:33.899 --> 00:16:36.000
i thought they were because i was in like some

00:16:36.000 --> 00:16:38.860
kind of weird fever trip as well bloody hell

00:16:38.860 --> 00:16:49.220
love you mom and dad Right. But your brother

00:16:49.220 --> 00:16:51.059
has no memory of that because he was asleep.

00:16:51.379 --> 00:16:53.899
Yeah, he doesn't remember. He knows the story

00:16:53.899 --> 00:16:55.799
because I've made sure I've told him multiple

00:16:55.799 --> 00:16:59.860
times just how much he traumatised me. But he

00:16:59.860 --> 00:17:03.220
has no recollection of it whatsoever. I've got

00:17:03.220 --> 00:17:04.720
a couple more things I wanted to talk about.

00:17:04.880 --> 00:17:09.119
Okay, fire away. I learnt a really useful new

00:17:09.119 --> 00:17:12.680
acronym. Now, I... I like an acronym. I like

00:17:12.680 --> 00:17:17.150
an acronym. And where I work... they really love

00:17:17.150 --> 00:17:21.170
an acronym like they will acronymize their acronyms

00:17:21.170 --> 00:17:25.049
if they can um not that acronymize is a word

00:17:25.049 --> 00:17:28.990
but you know what i mean and the acronym is waku

00:17:28.990 --> 00:17:34.430
so w -a -c -c -u okay all right what's the context

00:17:34.430 --> 00:17:37.849
it's if you've had a bad day or you're having

00:17:37.849 --> 00:17:42.240
a bit of a flip out at yourself all right Are

00:17:42.240 --> 00:17:45.700
you going to try and guess? W -A -C -C -U. Yeah.

00:17:48.359 --> 00:17:52.079
If it helps, there's only one actual swear word

00:17:52.079 --> 00:17:54.359
in it. Oh, right. I was trying to think of a

00:17:54.359 --> 00:17:57.559
mantra or something. Oh. No, I'm way off then.

00:17:57.579 --> 00:18:01.059
Go for it. This is if you're a bit mad. It is

00:18:01.059 --> 00:18:04.549
one of the C's cunt. Ing. Yes. Oh, right. Let's

00:18:04.549 --> 00:18:07.230
go. I'm back in. I'm back in. You're back in

00:18:07.230 --> 00:18:09.890
the game. Back in the game. All it took was four

00:18:09.890 --> 00:18:12.670
letters and he's in. We should have saved this

00:18:12.670 --> 00:18:16.730
for the game section. I guess the acronym. W

00:18:16.730 --> 00:18:22.890
-A -C. Is the sweary one the first or the second

00:18:22.890 --> 00:18:29.529
C? First. Technically, the second C could be

00:18:29.529 --> 00:18:33.089
a swear word, but it's actually not. Cunting.

00:18:33.089 --> 00:18:41.329
Yes, yes, yes. Oh, he's so close. I can hear

00:18:41.329 --> 00:18:44.470
the brain cells bashing together. Two letters

00:18:44.470 --> 00:18:50.670
to get. Yes. Is he going to get it? The second

00:18:50.670 --> 00:18:56.849
one isn't cunt. No. No, no. What are you, cunting?

00:18:58.230 --> 00:19:00.809
No, I've got to pay up. Hang on, did I say...

00:19:01.000 --> 00:19:04.480
W -A -C -C -A or W -A -C -C -U. Wacko. Yeah,

00:19:04.519 --> 00:19:08.579
W -A -C -C -U. C -U I've got to get. Okay. There's

00:19:08.579 --> 00:19:13.359
F -U in my effort. Well, I mean... The U would

00:19:13.359 --> 00:19:16.339
be wrong, but... No, go on, what is it? What

00:19:16.339 --> 00:19:19.839
a cunting cock -up. No, I wouldn't have got that.

00:19:20.119 --> 00:19:22.380
Yeah, wacko. So whenever you get mad and you

00:19:22.380 --> 00:19:24.500
need to, if you're an office person or someone

00:19:24.500 --> 00:19:26.819
that works with other people, if you're not allowed

00:19:26.819 --> 00:19:29.920
to actually swear openly, just go and stand in

00:19:29.920 --> 00:19:31.900
the corner of the room, stamp your feet, ball

00:19:31.900 --> 00:19:33.960
your hands into fists and shout, wacko, wacko,

00:19:33.960 --> 00:19:39.470
wacko. No, I think I'll swear. I think it's weirder

00:19:39.470 --> 00:19:41.490
if you shout wacky, wacky, wacky. Yeah, everyone

00:19:41.490 --> 00:19:42.930
will be like, what are you saying? Yeah, I think

00:19:42.930 --> 00:19:45.369
it's probably going to draw more attention. Fuck!

00:19:45.789 --> 00:19:47.430
They go, oh, OK, something's going on. They go,

00:19:47.509 --> 00:19:51.329
wacky, wacky. Oh, my God. Speaking of, like,

00:19:51.369 --> 00:19:54.750
shouting to oneself, I did a good deal of that

00:19:54.750 --> 00:19:58.329
yesterday before I had a little cry, which you

00:19:58.329 --> 00:20:01.390
already know about. I went to town yesterday

00:20:01.390 --> 00:20:03.250
because I had the day off work. And I parked

00:20:03.250 --> 00:20:06.769
in the correct parking bay. I paid for my parking

00:20:06.769 --> 00:20:09.029
space for the correct amount of time and returned

00:20:09.029 --> 00:20:13.289
well within said amount of time. However, I neglected

00:20:13.289 --> 00:20:17.789
to put my blue badge in the window. And seven

00:20:17.789 --> 00:20:20.990
minutes before I returned to the car, I didn't

00:20:20.990 --> 00:20:22.210
tell you this, but it was only seven minutes.

00:20:22.630 --> 00:20:24.890
Seven minutes before I returned to the car, a

00:20:24.890 --> 00:20:28.190
lovely traffic warden did their job. And that's

00:20:28.190 --> 00:20:30.769
all I can say. I'm not mad at the traffic warden

00:20:30.769 --> 00:20:35.130
because, The reason I forgot to put my blue badge

00:20:35.130 --> 00:20:36.930
out is because I forgot what the number plate

00:20:36.930 --> 00:20:39.849
of my new car is. Right, it's not a new car anymore.

00:20:39.890 --> 00:20:42.569
I've had it a couple of months. But the number

00:20:42.569 --> 00:20:46.630
plate isn't saved into the app. So I got out

00:20:46.630 --> 00:20:49.410
of the car to look at my number plate, correct

00:20:49.410 --> 00:20:52.009
that on the app, paid for the parking, closed

00:20:52.009 --> 00:20:57.269
my door and walked away, forgetting that my blue

00:20:57.269 --> 00:21:01.210
badge was on the inside of my door. driver's

00:21:01.210 --> 00:21:02.670
side door so when i got back to the car there

00:21:02.670 --> 00:21:08.069
was a ticket so i shit you not i stood outside

00:21:08.069 --> 00:21:15.309
my car stamped my feet looked at the heavens

00:21:15.309 --> 00:21:23.210
and went for fudging sake and the reason i didn't

00:21:23.210 --> 00:21:26.549
swear is because a man was walking past me excellent

00:21:26.549 --> 00:21:30.630
restraint he was Of a gentlemanly age. And I

00:21:30.630 --> 00:21:32.150
didn't want to give him a heart attack because

00:21:32.150 --> 00:21:34.529
some lunatic middle -aged woman was screaming

00:21:34.529 --> 00:21:37.490
F at the top of her lungs in the car park. Very

00:21:37.490 --> 00:21:40.930
considerate of you. I did my best. And then I

00:21:40.930 --> 00:21:42.710
took the ticket off the window, got in the car

00:21:42.710 --> 00:21:45.049
and then started to cry. Then sent you a really

00:21:45.049 --> 00:21:47.150
emotional voice note of me going, I'm so mad

00:21:47.150 --> 00:21:49.210
at myself. I've just got a ticket. I just need

00:21:49.210 --> 00:21:51.049
to run. I'm going to have a little cry about

00:21:51.049 --> 00:21:54.069
this in a minute. And then... Drove off to go

00:21:54.069 --> 00:21:56.349
out of the car park and then bumped into who

00:21:56.349 --> 00:21:58.529
I suspect were the two traffic wardens who'd

00:21:58.529 --> 00:22:01.369
given me the ticket. By which point I was like

00:22:01.369 --> 00:22:06.029
literally having a meltdown. Tears down my face

00:22:06.029 --> 00:22:09.690
and snot down my face. And I was glad I bumped

00:22:09.690 --> 00:22:11.990
into them actually. And I just stopped the car

00:22:11.990 --> 00:22:13.950
and I put the window down. I said, excuse me,

00:22:13.970 --> 00:22:15.369
can you help me please? And they said, yeah,

00:22:15.390 --> 00:22:17.289
of course. I said, look, I've gone and gotten

00:22:17.289 --> 00:22:19.650
myself a ticket. It's my own fault because I've

00:22:19.650 --> 00:22:21.250
forgotten to put my blue badge in the window.

00:22:21.950 --> 00:22:23.470
And he's like, I can see you're really upset.

00:22:23.609 --> 00:22:25.650
I said, I am really upset, but I'm upset with

00:22:25.650 --> 00:22:27.930
myself. I said, whoever's giving me the ticket,

00:22:28.049 --> 00:22:29.710
it doesn't matter because they were doing their

00:22:29.710 --> 00:22:32.210
job. They can't see through my car door to see

00:22:32.210 --> 00:22:35.130
a blue badge that's not in a window. I'm mad

00:22:35.130 --> 00:22:37.490
at myself and I'm just having a meltdown at myself,

00:22:37.569 --> 00:22:41.180
but I need to know how I can. contest the ticket

00:22:41.180 --> 00:22:44.039
and um the lady traffic warden said to me should

00:22:44.039 --> 00:22:45.440
have you got your blue badge with you i said

00:22:45.440 --> 00:22:48.380
yes in my fucking door and i pulled it out she's

00:22:48.380 --> 00:22:50.940
like hold it open for me i'll take a photo and

00:22:50.940 --> 00:22:52.920
i'll take the ticket number she said and i'll

00:22:52.920 --> 00:22:54.779
put it on our system that you're going to contest

00:22:54.779 --> 00:22:57.779
it and as long as when you send a photo of the

00:22:57.779 --> 00:22:59.660
blue badge through it matches what i've loaded

00:22:59.660 --> 00:23:01.880
up to the system it shouldn't be a problem this

00:23:01.880 --> 00:23:04.740
is nice this happens quite a lot and the guy

00:23:04.740 --> 00:23:06.980
was like This is the email address. And I was

00:23:06.980 --> 00:23:08.740
like, oh, thank you so much. Because the only

00:23:08.740 --> 00:23:11.940
phone number is a 24 hour automated pay service.

00:23:12.299 --> 00:23:14.579
I can't speak to a human. What's the easiest

00:23:14.579 --> 00:23:18.720
way to do it? Yeah, I know. So in fairness, I

00:23:18.720 --> 00:23:21.079
ruined my own day and they were really lovely

00:23:21.079 --> 00:23:23.859
to me. Maybe because I was having a meltdown.

00:23:23.900 --> 00:23:26.039
And I'm sure if I'd been an absolute bitch to

00:23:26.039 --> 00:23:27.660
them, they would have been horrible to me as

00:23:27.660 --> 00:23:30.589
well. But it wasn't their fault. So I couldn't

00:23:30.589 --> 00:23:32.869
be mad at them. And you weren't being horrible

00:23:32.869 --> 00:23:35.089
to them and giving them abuse for it. So thank

00:23:35.089 --> 00:23:38.369
you, traffic wardens of Swansea, for protecting

00:23:38.369 --> 00:23:40.490
the disabled bays for people that actually need

00:23:40.490 --> 00:23:43.589
to use them, but also for being kind enough to

00:23:43.589 --> 00:23:45.589
have a conversation with me about the parking

00:23:45.589 --> 00:23:48.809
ticket once I'd received one, even though the

00:23:48.809 --> 00:23:52.210
error was mine. You know, I can see the positives

00:23:52.210 --> 00:23:54.309
to both sides of it and hopefully I won't have

00:23:54.309 --> 00:23:57.859
to pay for it. So you're not all the names that

00:23:57.859 --> 00:24:01.920
Karen calls you behind your legs. I quite like

00:24:01.920 --> 00:24:03.660
traffic wardens. I think if I was going to have

00:24:03.660 --> 00:24:05.660
a job for the council, I'd happily be a traffic

00:24:05.660 --> 00:24:07.599
warden. I'd just go around looking for the Porsches

00:24:07.599 --> 00:24:11.359
and the expensive BMWs. The people that can afford

00:24:11.359 --> 00:24:14.339
the tickets. The odd Lamborghini that, you know,

00:24:14.359 --> 00:24:17.019
trolls up and down Swansea seafront. Anyway,

00:24:17.160 --> 00:24:19.119
that's enough. There was a fart noise then. It

00:24:19.119 --> 00:24:22.619
was my chair. It was not me. I promise. Why does

00:24:22.619 --> 00:24:25.930
it smell? Shh. Sorry. Let me just sit back again.

00:24:26.029 --> 00:24:29.509
Hang on. Squeaky, squeaky, squeaky. And there

00:24:29.509 --> 00:24:32.890
was one more thing I needed to say, which was

00:24:32.890 --> 00:24:37.289
I must not get addicted to Fugglers. Okay. You're

00:24:37.289 --> 00:24:38.829
not going to be like me with the Hot Wheels with

00:24:38.829 --> 00:24:44.450
the ugly Fuggly toys, sorry. Runs alongside Spooky

00:24:44.450 --> 00:24:49.390
Circle because Gwen loves Fugglers. She'd put

00:24:49.390 --> 00:24:51.509
something on Instagram and I was like, oh, I've

00:24:51.509 --> 00:24:53.849
not seen Fugglers for ages. And we'd talked about

00:24:53.849 --> 00:24:55.730
Fugglers not long ago because you've never really

00:24:55.730 --> 00:24:58.829
seen them and weren't entirely sure what they

00:24:58.829 --> 00:25:00.470
were. Yeah, it was when we were hanging out with

00:25:00.470 --> 00:25:01.809
Gavin, wasn't it? That's right, yeah. And my

00:25:01.809 --> 00:25:04.049
mate Gavin, he was managing the Fugglers. And

00:25:04.049 --> 00:25:07.490
yeah, I think we might have seen them once when

00:25:07.490 --> 00:25:09.450
I was shopping with him a year or so beforehand.

00:25:10.650 --> 00:25:12.470
Yeah, I didn't pay attention to it. Okay, yeah,

00:25:12.509 --> 00:25:15.529
it's a thing. Yes. And they're still around.

00:25:15.829 --> 00:25:20.849
It turns out that B &M provide a £1 .99 surprise

00:25:20.849 --> 00:25:25.869
addict issue thing, which is... Blind bag, is

00:25:25.869 --> 00:25:28.990
it? The blind mystery bag. You get a Fuggler,

00:25:29.109 --> 00:25:31.930
a little sort of like two and a half, three inch

00:25:31.930 --> 00:25:35.309
tall plastic Fuggler creature thing. I think

00:25:35.309 --> 00:25:38.829
there's like 60 of them to collect. I bought...

00:25:39.019 --> 00:25:41.680
I bought three mystery bags when we were in B

00:25:41.680 --> 00:25:44.960
&M in Cardiff a few weeks ago. I opened one and

00:25:44.960 --> 00:25:50.160
got a super rare Luigi Ninja Turtle Fuggler.

00:25:50.700 --> 00:25:55.559
Luigi Ninja Turtle? Yeah. Luigi's a Mario, Donatello,

00:25:55.640 --> 00:26:00.680
Leonardo. Oh, so it's Raphael, not Luigi. Raphael,

00:26:00.680 --> 00:26:04.319
I got the super, super rare one. Gave one of

00:26:04.319 --> 00:26:07.859
the mystery bags to Gwen. She got another Ninja

00:26:07.859 --> 00:26:11.259
Turtle Fuggler, a furry one. And then I opened

00:26:11.259 --> 00:26:13.039
the third mystery bag. A furry turtle? Yeah,

00:26:13.099 --> 00:26:15.640
I opened the third mystery bag when I got home.

00:26:15.779 --> 00:26:18.700
And that was also a furry Ninja Turtle. It was

00:26:18.700 --> 00:26:21.619
Michelangelo who was my favourite one. So now

00:26:21.619 --> 00:26:24.539
I've got two of the four Ninja Turtles. One is

00:26:24.539 --> 00:26:28.039
a rare, one is a super rare. And Gwen's got one.

00:26:28.180 --> 00:26:30.940
And I'm like... Of all of the things I could

00:26:30.940 --> 00:26:32.799
have picked out, if I'd have picked up one more,

00:26:32.859 --> 00:26:35.140
I could have got all four turtles and just not

00:26:35.140 --> 00:26:37.180
gifted any. You've got the three important ones

00:26:37.180 --> 00:26:43.160
anyway. Yeah. So one must... So, yeah, actually,

00:26:43.420 --> 00:26:47.119
who were the turtles? It was Raphael, Michelangelo...

00:26:47.119 --> 00:26:50.599
Leonardo. Leonardo. Donatello. Donatello is the

00:26:50.599 --> 00:26:53.049
one I always forget. Donatello does machines.

00:26:53.289 --> 00:26:55.890
I always forget Donatello. Sorry, Rob. The robosexual.

00:26:56.430 --> 00:27:01.509
Oh, is that what he was? He does machines. Whitty,

00:27:01.569 --> 00:27:04.970
whitty bandit. So, yeah, so now whenever we're

00:27:04.970 --> 00:27:07.730
in B &M, if I see the box of Mystery Fugglers,

00:27:07.829 --> 00:27:10.349
I pretend I've not seen it and it doesn't exist

00:27:10.349 --> 00:27:13.609
and I walk past because... I shan't be tempted.

00:27:13.910 --> 00:27:16.609
Yes, because there's even more of a temptation

00:27:16.609 --> 00:27:19.130
to collect them than the Hot Wheels because they're

00:27:19.130 --> 00:27:22.410
a surprise. That's how they get you. It is how

00:27:22.410 --> 00:27:26.509
they get you. Yeah. So Karen must not fall into

00:27:26.509 --> 00:27:30.309
a Fuggler addiction. And that is all of my random

00:27:30.309 --> 00:27:33.269
shit updates for the last four weeks. I will

00:27:33.269 --> 00:27:35.390
do my best to stop you buying them. Like you

00:27:35.390 --> 00:27:36.849
were trying to discourage me from the Hot Wheels.

00:27:37.089 --> 00:27:41.450
Or just, I'll be over here. I'm just going to

00:27:41.450 --> 00:27:43.609
go for a wander. You enjoy yourself. You make

00:27:43.609 --> 00:27:47.029
your own choices. So, okay, I'm aware that, yeah,

00:27:47.089 --> 00:27:49.559
I should be buying them. To be fair, the last

00:27:49.559 --> 00:27:51.900
two times I went for a wander, it was genuinely

00:27:51.900 --> 00:27:53.500
because I was looking to see if there was anything

00:27:53.500 --> 00:27:55.440
for Briony and Henry in the shop that might be

00:27:55.440 --> 00:27:58.220
suitable for Christmas. So, you know. Legit wandering.

00:27:58.660 --> 00:28:02.380
Yeah. Also, we went to Narberth between the last

00:28:02.380 --> 00:28:04.640
episodes, and now it is for your birthday in

00:28:04.640 --> 00:28:06.700
the mid -November. We're a nice couple of days

00:28:06.700 --> 00:28:08.500
away. That was quite nice and relaxing. My God,

00:28:08.500 --> 00:28:11.119
have we not recorded since Narberth? No, we recorded

00:28:11.119 --> 00:28:14.440
before we went. Oh, my God. Narberth was ace.

00:28:15.700 --> 00:28:19.309
And... I didn't spend so much money on booze

00:28:19.309 --> 00:28:21.190
this time. No, you certainly didn't. In fact,

00:28:21.269 --> 00:28:23.390
neither of us consumed anywhere near as much

00:28:23.390 --> 00:28:25.349
booze as we did last time. Although that's it,

00:28:25.410 --> 00:28:27.250
we forgot to go, we didn't get up in time for

00:28:27.250 --> 00:28:29.210
the inclusive breakfast. I wasn't aware of it

00:28:29.210 --> 00:28:31.289
being inclusive the first time, first morning.

00:28:31.990 --> 00:28:33.670
Well, it might have been, but I just entirely

00:28:33.670 --> 00:28:35.829
forgot by the time we were there. And the second

00:28:35.829 --> 00:28:38.539
morning... No, we slept in too late. We just

00:28:38.539 --> 00:28:41.440
had continental and the breakfast chef had stayed

00:28:41.440 --> 00:28:43.539
and then as we sat down and said, oh, we'll just

00:28:43.539 --> 00:28:46.299
have croissants and stuff, the lady went and

00:28:46.299 --> 00:28:48.000
sent the chef home and it was like, oh, we've

00:28:48.000 --> 00:28:49.579
been here all morning waiting for them and don't

00:28:49.579 --> 00:28:51.359
even want cooked breakfast. And I'm like, ah,

00:28:51.400 --> 00:28:53.119
fuck off. Yeah, we thought by the time we got

00:28:53.119 --> 00:28:55.019
there, it was like 20 minutes before the end

00:28:55.019 --> 00:28:56.640
of service. Well, it's going to take the piss

00:28:56.640 --> 00:28:58.700
if we start asking now. Yeah, exactly. Surely

00:28:58.700 --> 00:29:01.269
they'd rather be home 20 minutes early. Yeah,

00:29:01.269 --> 00:29:03.210
I thought, well, yeah, that'll make them all

00:29:03.210 --> 00:29:05.130
angry if we actually ordered something, surely.

00:29:05.589 --> 00:29:10.609
17 eggs, 14 sausage, 3 bacon, 2 toast, 4 beans.

00:29:11.049 --> 00:29:13.390
Yeah, it was a lovely weekend in the midweek.

00:29:13.569 --> 00:29:16.190
It was a lovely midweek break. I really enjoyed

00:29:16.190 --> 00:29:18.710
it. I spent a lot of money on a very small thing

00:29:18.710 --> 00:29:20.750
that will show up as a tat in the box at some

00:29:20.750 --> 00:29:24.089
point, but not this episode. At some point in

00:29:24.089 --> 00:29:26.829
the car between Swansea and Narberth. we got

00:29:26.829 --> 00:29:29.150
into a conversation of words you couldn't necessarily

00:29:29.150 --> 00:29:32.630
pronounce properly when you were small. And I've

00:29:32.630 --> 00:29:35.690
got two that I remember in particular. Oh, I've

00:29:35.690 --> 00:29:38.509
only got two as well. Okay, so this works out

00:29:38.509 --> 00:29:42.049
all right. One was my best friend's name when

00:29:42.049 --> 00:29:45.029
I was growing up. She was my best friend for

00:29:45.029 --> 00:29:46.750
three years before I could say her name properly,

00:29:46.930 --> 00:29:51.059
bless her. And I used to call her Ellala. But

00:29:51.059 --> 00:29:53.700
her name is Eleanor. Oh, at least it was close.

00:29:53.900 --> 00:29:55.640
It was as close as I could get. It wasn't like

00:29:55.640 --> 00:29:58.220
Helen. No, I mean, I don't think I had a speech

00:29:58.220 --> 00:30:00.220
impediment as a child, but there were definitely

00:30:00.220 --> 00:30:03.480
some words that I couldn't get out correctly.

00:30:03.759 --> 00:30:06.420
It took a long time to get my mouth trained to

00:30:06.420 --> 00:30:10.000
say them. So Eleanor, who was my best friend,

00:30:10.079 --> 00:30:13.059
Eleanor, thank you for putting up with my terrible

00:30:13.059 --> 00:30:15.339
pronunciation. Her parents were really funny.

00:30:15.420 --> 00:30:17.319
They used to torture me with cauliflower cheese.

00:30:17.990 --> 00:30:20.230
I hated cauliflower cheese when I was a kid.

00:30:20.430 --> 00:30:22.309
And I'd go around their house for dinner quite

00:30:22.309 --> 00:30:24.609
often. And they'd always be cooking cauliflower

00:30:24.609 --> 00:30:27.150
cheese. And I don't know if... We don't want

00:30:27.150 --> 00:30:29.829
you around here. Yeah, I don't know if it became

00:30:29.829 --> 00:30:32.170
like a running joke with the parents at some

00:30:32.170 --> 00:30:33.769
point. It's like, oh, Karen's coming around for

00:30:33.769 --> 00:30:35.529
dinner. Right, get the cauliflower cheese on

00:30:35.529 --> 00:30:38.750
on the side. So they'd be having like cauliflower

00:30:38.750 --> 00:30:40.289
cheese bits and this, that and the other. And

00:30:40.289 --> 00:30:42.069
I'd just have a lemon curd sandwich because I

00:30:42.069 --> 00:30:43.589
didn't want to touch the cauliflower cheese.

00:30:43.710 --> 00:30:46.849
So it was a running joke for a long time. And

00:30:46.849 --> 00:30:50.329
the other word that is in my mind, I had to chat

00:30:50.329 --> 00:30:53.470
to mum about, actually, because I was not sure

00:30:53.470 --> 00:30:56.410
exactly what it was, but I knew exactly what

00:30:56.410 --> 00:30:58.970
it was in reference to. And it was in reference

00:30:58.970 --> 00:31:01.930
to my very first teddy bear. Okay. And his name

00:31:01.930 --> 00:31:04.950
was Patrick, but I could not say Patrick, so

00:31:04.950 --> 00:31:08.069
he was called Tricky. Oh, yeah, that makes sense.

00:31:08.250 --> 00:31:10.509
Yeah, I can get that. Yeah. And I couldn't remember

00:31:10.509 --> 00:31:12.609
if he was Tricky or Trixie, so I had to ask mum.

00:31:12.670 --> 00:31:14.390
She was like, oh, he was definitely Tricky. So,

00:31:14.410 --> 00:31:17.700
yeah. My two. Washing machine. I couldn't say

00:31:17.700 --> 00:31:20.259
that properly when I was a kid. Or didn't want

00:31:20.259 --> 00:31:26.779
to. Either or. Washing chameen. Chameen! That's

00:31:26.779 --> 00:31:31.440
amazing! Chameen. For some reason when I was

00:31:31.440 --> 00:31:35.859
a kid I used to call spiders bruter. I don't

00:31:35.859 --> 00:31:38.440
know how that... I've got no idea how I was meant

00:31:38.440 --> 00:31:42.890
to spell that either. It's weird. It's like B

00:31:42.890 --> 00:31:47.329
-R -U with an umlaut T -A. You're like a Norwegian

00:31:47.329 --> 00:31:50.390
child in a past life. I wouldn't have known what

00:31:50.390 --> 00:31:53.190
an umlaut is. Scandinavian. I don't like eggs.

00:31:54.670 --> 00:31:57.130
I've just remembered a couple of other things.

00:31:58.089 --> 00:32:02.609
They're not my mispronunciations, but pronunciation

00:32:02.609 --> 00:32:07.309
of an ex -grandparent. She was a classic. So

00:32:07.309 --> 00:32:11.440
she rang... one of her grandchildren to come

00:32:11.440 --> 00:32:13.299
and be rest you know to come and rescue her from

00:32:13.299 --> 00:32:17.519
a spider and uh she's like then beside her yeah

00:32:17.519 --> 00:32:19.380
she's like you're gonna have to come and rescue

00:32:19.380 --> 00:32:22.559
me i can't get out of the bathroom and i whoever

00:32:22.559 --> 00:32:24.920
she was talking to is like why can't you get

00:32:24.920 --> 00:32:26.599
out of the bathroom and she's like because there's

00:32:26.599 --> 00:32:31.220
a massive triantula on the floor um on the door

00:32:31.220 --> 00:32:32.940
like you know on the floor in front of the door

00:32:32.940 --> 00:32:36.400
and they were like a triantula yeah what? Is

00:32:36.400 --> 00:32:39.180
it like a spider with three legs? And she's like,

00:32:39.319 --> 00:32:41.460
no, it's just a really big spider. And she's

00:32:41.460 --> 00:32:43.779
like, they were like, do you mean a tarantula?

00:32:45.460 --> 00:32:48.839
And the other one was, is she can't say persimmon,

00:32:48.940 --> 00:32:52.039
permission fruits. Which isn't as funny as a

00:32:52.039 --> 00:32:54.700
tarantula, but permission fruit. Yeah. Instead

00:32:54.700 --> 00:32:59.140
of persimmon fruit. Oh. Yeah. One of my relatives,

00:32:59.460 --> 00:33:02.079
I think it was Halford West, was Havishaw West.

00:33:02.279 --> 00:33:06.650
Oh. I think that was a great aunt. Do you remember

00:33:06.650 --> 00:33:12.349
Hypervalue? Yes, Hypervalue value. I didn't know

00:33:12.349 --> 00:33:16.190
this person, but it was a parent of someone who

00:33:16.190 --> 00:33:21.890
I did know at the time. And she would call it

00:33:21.890 --> 00:33:26.200
Hypervalue. Oh, I say. I'm just going into town

00:33:26.200 --> 00:33:28.339
to nip them to Hypovalu, don't you know? I'm

00:33:28.339 --> 00:33:30.839
going to get the basics, the washing powder,

00:33:30.940 --> 00:33:37.380
the toilet roll, sponges for the bath. Very Hyacinth

00:33:37.380 --> 00:33:40.319
bouquet up for her. Oh, absolutely, sweetie darling.

00:33:40.480 --> 00:33:44.940
Honestly, it was just the best. So, yeah, so

00:33:44.940 --> 00:33:47.220
she would be like, I'm going to Hypovalu instead

00:33:47.220 --> 00:33:49.279
of... Being like, I'm just... Like, you know,

00:33:49.339 --> 00:33:50.460
like you and I were like, oh, I'm just going

00:33:50.460 --> 00:33:53.299
to nip to poundies. Yeah. Like, couldn't... She's

00:33:53.299 --> 00:33:55.980
like, couldn't not be posh. Oh, la -di -da. Yeah.

00:33:56.460 --> 00:34:00.920
Hi -pa -va -loo. Honest again. Anyway. I'm done

00:34:00.920 --> 00:34:03.539
talking nonsense. Well, shall we have a bit of

00:34:03.539 --> 00:34:05.000
a Christmas taste test? It's not something we

00:34:05.000 --> 00:34:07.779
usually do on the show. Yeah, go on then. As

00:34:07.779 --> 00:34:11.139
long as... As long as you promise to switch the

00:34:11.139 --> 00:34:13.260
microphones off when we're actually eating, because...

00:34:13.519 --> 00:34:15.239
Oh, yeah, yeah, nobody wants to go to that shit.

00:34:15.420 --> 00:34:25.800
Misophonia is a real thing. Justify this before

00:34:25.800 --> 00:34:27.880
I go and grab the bag. We don't usually do taste

00:34:27.880 --> 00:34:30.039
tests on the show because as far as Channel 84

00:34:30.039 --> 00:34:34.099
goes, that's Rob and Tom's sort of bag. Yeah,

00:34:34.139 --> 00:34:36.719
it's definitely a... Variety show sort of area.

00:34:37.340 --> 00:34:41.329
Team TJ and Rob. And I'm pretty sure they've

00:34:41.329 --> 00:34:43.949
tried these as well, but I got these a few weeks

00:34:43.949 --> 00:34:45.210
ago. They've just been in the cupboard for a

00:34:45.210 --> 00:34:47.869
while. I got these before they tried them on

00:34:47.869 --> 00:34:50.809
the show. So what have we got then, good sir?

00:34:52.289 --> 00:34:55.269
He's rustling around. Apologies for all the foodie

00:34:55.269 --> 00:35:01.989
baggage noises. All the Indian selection crisps.

00:35:01.989 --> 00:35:05.239
We've got tandoori chicken ridged crisps. onion

00:35:05.239 --> 00:35:09.139
bhaji flavourings. And vindaloo flavour crunchy

00:35:09.139 --> 00:35:13.800
sticks. I vote for the vindaloo last just because

00:35:13.800 --> 00:35:16.539
in theory they should be the spiciest which means

00:35:16.539 --> 00:35:18.460
they would affect the flavour of anything else

00:35:18.460 --> 00:35:22.179
we try after them. And I will get us a drink

00:35:22.179 --> 00:35:25.099
to wash it down with. Oh it's not camel milk

00:35:25.099 --> 00:35:29.739
is it? No. I wish that was quite nice. It was

00:35:29.739 --> 00:35:33.940
actually. Get you a couple of cans of that for

00:35:33.940 --> 00:35:49.340
your Christmas stocking. Spiced ginger and cinnamon

00:35:49.340 --> 00:35:54.460
flower. I shall pour some in the glass for you.

00:35:54.679 --> 00:35:59.699
Oh, that's most kind, sir. Most kind. Same colours.

00:36:01.679 --> 00:36:07.159
Yeah, it's an iron brew colour. Did you just

00:36:07.159 --> 00:36:08.659
get a load of bubbles up your nose there? Yeah,

00:36:08.659 --> 00:36:11.780
there's a bit of excess around the lip. But yeah,

00:36:11.820 --> 00:36:14.440
there is a winter spice sort of taste, a smell

00:36:14.440 --> 00:36:21.420
to it. I never want excess around the lip. If

00:36:21.420 --> 00:36:26.079
it tastes as horrible as it smells. You lick

00:36:26.079 --> 00:36:37.050
in the rim. Couldn't be for the first time. No

00:36:37.050 --> 00:36:40.489
complaints so far. Oh, my God. The taste, I mean,

00:36:40.530 --> 00:36:44.829
of the drink. Would you have liked some? Right,

00:36:44.989 --> 00:36:51.329
let's have a sniff. It's like a weird candy ginger.

00:36:52.469 --> 00:36:56.750
Yeah, the ginger flavour. You're not a fan of

00:36:56.750 --> 00:36:58.090
ginger. I don't even know why you're bothered

00:36:58.090 --> 00:37:01.019
with this. I didn't read. I just saw winter.

00:37:01.039 --> 00:37:03.440
I didn't read the bit underneath it. It literally

00:37:03.440 --> 00:37:05.019
says ginger and cinnamon on the front. Yeah,

00:37:05.019 --> 00:37:07.480
I wish I didn't read that bit. I just saw winter

00:37:07.480 --> 00:37:11.619
brew. Yeah, I'm not a fan of that. Hmm. I would

00:37:11.619 --> 00:37:14.539
say, because I quite like a ginger and I quite

00:37:14.539 --> 00:37:19.920
like a cinnamon, there's a nice festive aftertaste.

00:37:20.119 --> 00:37:22.420
Like, you definitely get the cinnamon in the

00:37:22.420 --> 00:37:24.659
back and I think you get more of the ginger up

00:37:24.659 --> 00:37:28.059
front. Yeah. I think the overriding flavour is

00:37:28.059 --> 00:37:32.340
still Iron Brew. Yeah, agreed. It's not disgusting,

00:37:32.519 --> 00:37:35.800
but I think it would probably take me several

00:37:35.800 --> 00:37:38.619
hours to finish a can. I'm glad I just got the

00:37:38.619 --> 00:37:41.320
one can on its own. Thank God it wasn't like

00:37:41.320 --> 00:37:44.059
a multi -pack. No. It's not horrible, and you

00:37:44.059 --> 00:37:48.699
may enjoy it more than we have. Yeah. It smells

00:37:48.699 --> 00:37:54.170
nice. I don't know. I mean, Iron Brew's always

00:37:54.170 --> 00:37:56.469
had a bit of a weird bubbly gum scent to it anyway,

00:37:56.590 --> 00:37:58.809
hasn't it? Not a fan of that. That's disappointing.

00:37:59.550 --> 00:38:01.449
There we are then. Right, what are we knocking

00:38:01.449 --> 00:38:04.230
on the crisps first? Shall we go for the onion

00:38:04.230 --> 00:38:07.190
bhaji rings? They seem to be a starter sort of

00:38:07.190 --> 00:38:13.510
thing. I concur. The smell is right. It's pure

00:38:13.510 --> 00:38:19.769
turmeric. That smells good. Right. I was going

00:38:19.769 --> 00:38:21.530
to go one for each finger, but I've just gone

00:38:21.530 --> 00:38:25.900
for three. We'll just get... Right, turn the

00:38:25.900 --> 00:38:33.000
mics off. Okey -doke. It's alright. Nice texture.

00:38:33.719 --> 00:38:37.219
Good crunch. It doesn't fall apart like a standard

00:38:37.219 --> 00:38:41.280
mazy type ring. It's got more to it than a Funyun.

00:38:41.480 --> 00:38:46.000
Yes, Funyun's a shit. And it's got more stability,

00:38:46.539 --> 00:38:49.280
crunchability to it than a Monster Munch. It's

00:38:49.280 --> 00:38:56.429
a robust ring. That's not bad. Yeah. I mean,

00:38:56.449 --> 00:38:59.090
it's definitely turmeric heavy, which personally

00:38:59.090 --> 00:39:01.829
I don't mind. It kind of reminds me, it's kind

00:39:01.829 --> 00:39:04.809
of a bit more Bombay potato than onion bhaji.

00:39:05.630 --> 00:39:09.769
Yeah, that delivers. Yeah, I quite agree. Right,

00:39:09.949 --> 00:39:12.929
I'll open one of the tandoori chickens and I'll

00:39:12.929 --> 00:39:20.880
let you finish that last ring. Thank you. I just

00:39:20.880 --> 00:39:22.719
realised we haven't split this up into segments

00:39:22.719 --> 00:39:24.840
at all, we've just rolled from intro chat into

00:39:24.840 --> 00:39:27.280
food chat. Yeah, I'm gonna have fun editing this.

00:39:27.519 --> 00:39:31.480
Smell first. Can you smell anything, people?

00:39:34.960 --> 00:39:39.099
There's not much body to that. Maybe they needed

00:39:39.099 --> 00:39:42.400
a jostle beforehand. Oh no, you did jostle them.

00:39:44.980 --> 00:39:48.579
No, that smells weirdly sweet. It's like, um...

00:39:49.900 --> 00:39:54.679
Really mild korma scent. I get the mildness.

00:39:54.699 --> 00:39:57.219
I don't get like a coconut -y sweetness that

00:39:57.219 --> 00:39:58.880
you would with a korma. Let me grab a smaller

00:39:58.880 --> 00:40:01.960
one. I don't know. It smells like there's something

00:40:01.960 --> 00:40:05.480
missing. Okay, let's give these tandoori chicken

00:40:05.480 --> 00:40:13.320
ridgy crisps a go. Ooh. That's not bad. Ooh.

00:40:14.960 --> 00:40:17.199
There's even a bit of sour cream sticking in

00:40:17.199 --> 00:40:20.090
there. I think that's a bit of a... I'm getting

00:40:20.090 --> 00:40:24.269
the yogurty, a little bit of creaminess. That's

00:40:24.269 --> 00:40:27.289
surprisingly good. Well, considering it doesn't

00:40:27.289 --> 00:40:30.730
deliver anything on smell. No. Flavour -wise,

00:40:30.949 --> 00:40:34.230
that is pretty much what it's... I can't believe

00:40:34.230 --> 00:40:36.510
you can pick out the creaminess on top of the

00:40:36.510 --> 00:40:39.329
spices and things. That's really surprised me.

00:40:39.650 --> 00:40:42.489
That's, yeah, beyond expectations from just an

00:40:42.489 --> 00:40:45.590
Aldi crisp. Nice one, Bilash, the taste of India.

00:40:45.750 --> 00:40:48.440
Yeah. Okay, let's put the mics down one more

00:40:48.440 --> 00:40:50.239
time so you're not hearing this crisp package

00:40:50.239 --> 00:40:58.119
rustle too loudly. Spindaloo. Spindaloo. Oh,

00:40:58.239 --> 00:41:02.360
I forgot they were sticks. Sniff. Oh, yeah. Oh,

00:41:02.659 --> 00:41:04.940
it's quite... Do this in a shpishy. Yeah, a little

00:41:04.940 --> 00:41:07.920
bit more spicy. These apparently are a medium

00:41:07.920 --> 00:41:13.539
heat. Oh, they've definitely got a dry chilli

00:41:13.539 --> 00:41:16.929
flavour. They've got that curry powder dryness

00:41:16.929 --> 00:41:20.969
to them, flavour -wise. As you inhale, it's like

00:41:20.969 --> 00:41:22.449
inhaling curry powder. A bit more of a punch

00:41:22.449 --> 00:41:24.650
to them than the other two snacks. You've got

00:41:24.650 --> 00:41:28.070
two. I've got two. Let's cross the streams. Oh.

00:41:28.269 --> 00:41:37.409
Oh, okay. No. No. Nah. Nah. One more for the

00:41:37.409 --> 00:41:41.969
luck. Just in case. The only bit I like about

00:41:41.969 --> 00:41:44.389
it... Is the Bernie tingle on the tip of my tongue?

00:41:44.670 --> 00:41:47.130
Then last place for me, onion rings in second

00:41:47.130 --> 00:41:50.289
place. First place, tandoori chicken ridge crisps.

00:41:50.309 --> 00:41:52.349
They were very, very nice. That's a solid concur

00:41:52.349 --> 00:41:55.610
from me, good sir. I'm really disappointed in

00:41:55.610 --> 00:41:58.869
the iron brew. Yeah, I'd already forgotten we'd

00:41:58.869 --> 00:42:01.570
tried it. I wonder if it tastes better after

00:42:01.570 --> 00:42:04.409
the spicy crisps. Yeah, let's give it a go. More

00:42:04.409 --> 00:42:06.409
farty noises from Karen's chair. And mine as

00:42:06.409 --> 00:42:15.539
well. No. Still. Ginger forward notes. It's weird.

00:42:16.519 --> 00:42:19.219
It's weird. My brain wants it to be iron brew.

00:42:19.780 --> 00:42:24.599
I wish it was. But I don't hate it. I don't know

00:42:24.599 --> 00:42:29.239
if I like it, but I don't hate it. I think that

00:42:29.239 --> 00:42:31.800
means you like it, but you might not go out of

00:42:31.800 --> 00:42:34.199
your way to buy it. That might be nice with a

00:42:34.199 --> 00:42:38.039
lightly spiced rum. Would you like me to? No,

00:42:38.059 --> 00:42:39.480
because I've got to drive home. Oh, you do, yes.

00:42:40.500 --> 00:42:43.300
I just so happen to have a very, very nice room

00:42:43.300 --> 00:42:45.420
in the kitchen. Thank you for the offer. Any

00:42:45.420 --> 00:42:47.320
other weekend, I would have said yes. But I'm

00:42:47.320 --> 00:42:50.059
too lazy to drive from here to Neath to drive

00:42:50.059 --> 00:42:51.960
past your house again to get to Carmarthen tomorrow.

00:42:52.099 --> 00:42:54.949
So I'm going home. But, Mount Gay, if you want

00:42:54.949 --> 00:42:57.369
to sponsor this show with your rum, that would

00:42:57.369 --> 00:43:01.010
be really nice of you. Surely he knows I've spent

00:43:01.010 --> 00:43:03.550
enough money on your rum. Oh, my God. Hashtag

00:43:03.550 --> 00:43:07.309
Mount Gay. Hashtag Eclipse. Hashtag Spawn. Hashtag

00:43:07.309 --> 00:43:11.130
Beg. And that's as hashtaggy as you'll ever get

00:43:11.130 --> 00:43:14.150
from me, because they're mollets. Right, I think

00:43:14.150 --> 00:43:15.909
we should take a break and tidy up the desk a

00:43:15.909 --> 00:43:17.289
bit. Oh, I think that's a good idea. I'm going

00:43:17.289 --> 00:43:22.889
to eat some more of these chicken crisps. Your

00:43:22.889 --> 00:43:25.869
favourite time of the show. My time? Your time.

00:43:25.889 --> 00:43:29.110
Is that my time? You get to do the singing and

00:43:29.110 --> 00:43:32.289
the clapping. Do I get to do a jingle? Yes, you

00:43:32.289 --> 00:43:34.250
do. Oh, that's bloody marvellous. Because I'm

00:43:34.250 --> 00:43:39.010
not going to. There's tat in the box, tat in

00:43:39.010 --> 00:43:42.510
the box. Tat in the box, tat in the box. Tat

00:43:42.510 --> 00:43:45.909
in the box, tat in the box, tat in the box. There's

00:43:45.909 --> 00:43:49.550
tat in the box. I think it's your turn to guess

00:43:49.550 --> 00:43:56.500
first, isn't it? Close my eyes. Draw back the

00:43:56.500 --> 00:44:02.579
curtain. To see for certain. If my psychic fingers

00:44:02.579 --> 00:44:10.739
were. Chilling around the studio. That was me

00:44:10.739 --> 00:44:13.239
leaning against the chair. I thought you were

00:44:13.239 --> 00:44:18.820
just going to stop at me. I can't even corroborate

00:44:18.820 --> 00:44:20.800
ladies, gentlemen and anybody else who's listening

00:44:20.800 --> 00:44:23.579
because my eyes are already closed. That is true.

00:44:24.920 --> 00:44:27.420
Take my word for it. Adam could be flicking the

00:44:27.420 --> 00:44:29.599
bees. He could be naked by now and I wouldn't

00:44:29.599 --> 00:44:31.940
even know. I'm just making a bit of space on

00:44:31.940 --> 00:44:34.840
the desk. Christ, how big is it? Well, we've

00:44:34.840 --> 00:44:37.000
just got our... That's not a personal question.

00:44:38.119 --> 00:44:40.239
So we've got all our notepads in the way. Can

00:44:40.239 --> 00:44:49.739
you just put it in my hand and I'll... Tat item

00:44:49.739 --> 00:44:52.000
number one in front of you. You can open your

00:44:52.000 --> 00:44:54.400
eyes, actually. Oh, is it? Yeah. Have you wrapped

00:44:54.400 --> 00:45:00.260
another thing? Is this going to be like an episode

00:45:00.260 --> 00:45:02.179
of Christmas presents that Karen didn't think

00:45:02.179 --> 00:45:05.400
about? Do I have to guess what it is before I

00:45:05.400 --> 00:45:07.980
open it? No, no. It's not Tat in the box then,

00:45:08.019 --> 00:45:11.280
is it? Not that one. Oh, fucking hell. So this

00:45:11.280 --> 00:45:13.179
has got Mickey Mouse and Minnie Mouse Christmas

00:45:13.179 --> 00:45:20.480
paper on. Looks like... Chocolate of some brata.

00:45:22.599 --> 00:45:26.239
You fancy bitch. Might taste the way of this

00:45:26.239 --> 00:45:29.000
horrible crisp you just had. Oh, my God. Neapolitan

00:45:29.000 --> 00:45:32.840
macarons from Hotel Chocolate. Thank you very

00:45:32.840 --> 00:45:36.639
much. Anyway, right. Here you go. I've got to

00:45:36.639 --> 00:45:44.619
close my eyes now? It is wrapped. That sounds

00:45:44.619 --> 00:45:47.880
heavy. Is that a jigsaw? It's tat in the box.

00:45:48.969 --> 00:45:53.429
There you go. I'll just hit my headphones. It's

00:45:53.429 --> 00:45:57.849
not a jigsaw. It's too heavy for one. Okay, so

00:45:57.849 --> 00:46:02.070
it's in a box in wrapping paper. The first noise

00:46:02.070 --> 00:46:03.769
you'll hear will be the paper being unwrapped.

00:46:03.789 --> 00:46:05.909
Then the second noise will be Karen guessing.

00:46:06.690 --> 00:46:09.989
I'm going to unwrap it with my eyes closed. Just

00:46:09.989 --> 00:46:14.550
continue the guessing. Because, you know, why

00:46:14.550 --> 00:46:20.690
not? Oh, there's plastic on the top. Also, this

00:46:20.690 --> 00:46:24.610
is a present for you for Christmas. But you have

00:46:24.610 --> 00:46:27.010
to guess what the present is. Do I not get it

00:46:27.010 --> 00:46:28.989
if I don't guess it? Well, you've unwrapped it

00:46:28.989 --> 00:46:35.829
now. Okay, so it's a cardboard box. Oh. No, I'm

00:46:35.829 --> 00:46:38.610
not going to say anything yet. Oh, hang on. It

00:46:38.610 --> 00:46:40.670
sounds like you had a pretty good idea of what

00:46:40.670 --> 00:46:43.329
it was suddenly within two seconds of opening

00:46:43.329 --> 00:46:45.550
it. No, you've got to say now. What was that?

00:46:45.610 --> 00:46:49.429
What thought came to your head? I don't know.

00:46:49.510 --> 00:46:52.429
What came into my mind was something monster

00:46:52.429 --> 00:46:56.130
truck Hot Wheels. Okay. But I don't know. I don't

00:46:56.130 --> 00:46:58.889
think it's that either. It's too heavy. I thought

00:46:58.889 --> 00:47:01.210
you were going to guess it for a second. I thought

00:47:01.210 --> 00:47:03.630
you were going to get that exactly spot on. I

00:47:03.630 --> 00:47:06.809
can't say. Again, it's a tat in the box and it's

00:47:06.809 --> 00:47:08.409
a present for you. I'm not telling you what your

00:47:08.409 --> 00:47:11.949
present is and what the item is that you have

00:47:11.949 --> 00:47:14.329
to guess. It's against the rules in two different

00:47:14.329 --> 00:47:16.659
directions at once. God damn it. Is it something

00:47:16.659 --> 00:47:21.039
that I've made a comment about? I really hope

00:47:21.039 --> 00:47:25.119
you haven't because I don't remember. So if it's

00:47:25.119 --> 00:47:31.300
a massive L... It reflects badly upon me if it's

00:47:31.300 --> 00:47:33.280
something you've said. I'd like that. I just

00:47:33.280 --> 00:47:37.800
haven't noticed. It's very heavy. I feel like

00:47:37.800 --> 00:47:40.619
there's... Plastic content. You have been given

00:47:40.619 --> 00:47:44.219
a fairly roughish shake. I don't know if I'd

00:47:44.219 --> 00:47:45.820
shake it much more violently than you already

00:47:45.820 --> 00:47:48.760
have. Oh, is it safe to shake it violently? I'd

00:47:48.760 --> 00:47:51.760
say no more than you already have. I think the

00:47:51.760 --> 00:47:54.199
level of shaking you've done at the moment is

00:47:54.199 --> 00:47:57.400
probably the maximum violence I think you should

00:47:57.400 --> 00:48:00.000
give it. I genuinely don't know, but I'm going

00:48:00.000 --> 00:48:02.480
with there's plastic parts and metal parts, and

00:48:02.480 --> 00:48:06.440
it may or may not be battery operated. I do not

00:48:06.440 --> 00:48:09.750
think it's... Battery operated. I didn't say

00:48:09.750 --> 00:48:12.530
male, male, male. I don't think... It's not a

00:48:12.530 --> 00:48:14.090
sex toy, is it? I'm not going to open this and

00:48:14.090 --> 00:48:15.929
be embarrassed. I wouldn't do that to you on

00:48:15.929 --> 00:48:18.570
the podcast. That's very kind of you. Thanks.

00:48:18.710 --> 00:48:21.130
Or if I did, I wouldn't have left it in the box.

00:48:21.170 --> 00:48:22.949
It wouldn't have been as funny just grasping

00:48:22.949 --> 00:48:25.670
a dildo on the table. But guess what this is?

00:48:25.710 --> 00:48:29.329
Well, it's cock -shaped. Yeah, a bit like the...

00:48:29.329 --> 00:48:33.630
Is it a cock? Yeah, yes. But that definitely

00:48:33.630 --> 00:48:36.510
wasn't a sex toy. I'm trying to, like... Guess

00:48:36.510 --> 00:48:38.570
from the shape of the cutouts. Yeah, I thought

00:48:38.570 --> 00:48:40.030
from that that you were going to guess what it

00:48:40.030 --> 00:48:42.130
was, because from the expression on your face

00:48:42.130 --> 00:48:45.090
when you got to that curve. Because that's, like,

00:48:45.170 --> 00:48:48.849
obviously, like, it feels like it could be a

00:48:48.849 --> 00:48:50.170
wheel arch, but it's not a wheel arch because

00:48:50.170 --> 00:48:51.869
there's only one of them. So it could also be

00:48:51.869 --> 00:48:56.190
a rainbow or something else. If I turn around,

00:48:56.190 --> 00:48:59.130
that's the right way round for the box. If you

00:48:59.130 --> 00:49:02.789
feel it again, like, just that curve might feel

00:49:02.789 --> 00:49:04.929
a bit more familiar that way round. All right.

00:49:06.280 --> 00:49:09.820
You can open your eyes if you... I genuinely

00:49:09.820 --> 00:49:12.119
don't know what it is. My psychic hands are failing

00:49:12.119 --> 00:49:18.139
me. Okay, you can open your eyes. I thought that

00:49:18.139 --> 00:49:19.739
little curve might be that they've given it away

00:49:19.739 --> 00:49:21.780
with the... Oh my God, no, they would have had

00:49:21.780 --> 00:49:23.880
to have cut way more out of the badge for me

00:49:23.880 --> 00:49:30.710
to get that. Did you? Did you say you wanted

00:49:30.710 --> 00:49:34.590
it at all? I didn't even know this existed, but

00:49:34.590 --> 00:49:38.010
I'm glad it does. This is the Star Trek Away

00:49:38.010 --> 00:49:42.210
Missions Miniatures Board Game. It's the Federation

00:49:42.210 --> 00:49:45.690
versus the Borg. It's the core set, Battle of

00:49:45.690 --> 00:49:51.619
Wolf 359. Oh, wow. This is a bit like Space Crusade,

00:49:51.619 --> 00:49:53.219
isn't it? That's right. I did want to say something.

00:49:53.300 --> 00:49:54.719
I thought, I'll let you say, yeah, we'll do Space

00:49:54.719 --> 00:49:57.059
Crusade as the next game we play. We're playing

00:49:57.059 --> 00:49:58.800
this? Yeah, yeah, I knew we were. Yeah, we're

00:49:58.800 --> 00:50:00.860
totally playing this. I did want to dissuade

00:50:00.860 --> 00:50:02.340
you from playing. I thought you'd think something's

00:50:02.340 --> 00:50:04.639
up if I dissuade you from that being a game.

00:50:05.219 --> 00:50:07.179
I probably wouldn't have even thought twice about

00:50:07.179 --> 00:50:11.889
it. Oh my god, right. Lead your away team into

00:50:11.889 --> 00:50:15.210
the aftermath of the Battle of Wolf 359, where

00:50:15.210 --> 00:50:17.590
the Borg have crushed the only fleet standing

00:50:17.590 --> 00:50:20.949
between Earth and assimilation. Lead Riker's

00:50:20.949 --> 00:50:23.590
away team into the wreckage and search for the

00:50:23.590 --> 00:50:26.230
information that will defeat the Borg and save

00:50:26.230 --> 00:50:30.449
Earth, or join Locutus of Borg and the Borg Collective

00:50:30.449 --> 00:50:35.929
to assimilate your opposition. So you'll be in

00:50:35.929 --> 00:50:42.349
the red shirt. So I'm Picard then. Resistance

00:50:42.349 --> 00:50:46.889
is futile. Wrong series. Your life as it is.

00:50:47.190 --> 00:50:50.989
Oh, my God. Your life as it has been is over.

00:50:51.110 --> 00:50:53.829
Wow. How could I not get those basic words out

00:50:53.829 --> 00:50:56.829
of my brain? So there's one rule book, 10 miniatures,

00:50:56.949 --> 00:51:01.070
five double -sided mission boards, 12 dice, one

00:51:01.070 --> 00:51:05.400
dice board. 10 character cards, 10 mission and

00:51:05.400 --> 00:51:09.440
support cards, 2 core mission cards, 85 tokens,

00:51:09.739 --> 00:51:14.539
50 health pegs, oi oi, 8 Borg drone overlays

00:51:14.539 --> 00:51:18.260
and 2 reference cards. It does apparently take

00:51:18.260 --> 00:51:20.860
an hour to an hour and a half to play. Oh, perfect.

00:51:21.099 --> 00:51:23.699
Probably about 3 hours for us. Yeah, definitely.

00:51:24.019 --> 00:51:25.500
It didn't take me that long just to read the

00:51:25.500 --> 00:51:28.579
rules. Oh, brilliant. Thank you so very much.

00:51:28.840 --> 00:51:30.719
I can't even get my words out. Thank you ever

00:51:30.719 --> 00:51:32.699
so very, very much. You're very welcome. Oh,

00:51:32.760 --> 00:51:34.400
that is really cool. I would not have guessed

00:51:34.400 --> 00:51:36.780
that. I didn't even know this existed. Merry

00:51:36.780 --> 00:51:39.219
Christmas. Thank you. You're very welcome. This

00:51:39.219 --> 00:51:42.460
is genuinely very cool. I hope there's no missing

00:51:42.460 --> 00:51:46.099
parts in it now. It's brand new. It's taped up.

00:51:46.380 --> 00:51:49.340
Yeah, I don't know if that was... It was from

00:51:49.340 --> 00:51:52.079
a charity shop. I don't know if that's been taped

00:51:52.079 --> 00:51:55.980
up by them. Well, it looks brand new. I can't

00:51:55.980 --> 00:51:57.840
wait to give that a go. Thanks ever so much.

00:51:57.840 --> 00:52:00.619
You're very welcome. Merry Christmas to me. It's

00:52:00.619 --> 00:52:03.860
in spirit of the show. It's a found item. You

00:52:03.860 --> 00:52:06.480
can't have my tat item. That's all right. And

00:52:06.480 --> 00:52:07.920
I didn't think to do presents. Let's see how

00:52:07.920 --> 00:52:09.880
close I can get to guessing it. Okay, close your

00:52:09.880 --> 00:52:14.570
eyes. Yep, close. Hold your hands out. Weird

00:52:14.570 --> 00:52:16.630
squeaky noise has nothing to do with the actual

00:52:16.630 --> 00:52:18.670
task item itself. What was that? Was it the box

00:52:18.670 --> 00:52:20.170
on the chair? It was the box on the chair, yeah.

00:52:20.269 --> 00:52:23.269
Well guessed. All right, it is between your hands

00:52:23.269 --> 00:52:25.730
on the table. Oh, it's soft. Did you find Mr

00:52:25.730 --> 00:52:29.690
Blobby? No. It would be in its bag still. It's

00:52:29.690 --> 00:52:36.449
some kind of possibly a bear. Okay. Got one.

00:52:37.259 --> 00:52:39.059
Two eyes? It does have two eyes. Oh, hang on,

00:52:39.119 --> 00:52:41.039
there is a nose. For a bear, I was expecting

00:52:41.039 --> 00:52:43.079
the nose to be more prominent, but it does have

00:52:43.079 --> 00:52:59.800
the ears. Oh, hang on. Those ears are very...

00:52:59.800 --> 00:53:05.719
I thought for a second... I got very concerned

00:53:05.719 --> 00:53:07.500
when I realised the feet were out this way. I

00:53:07.500 --> 00:53:10.659
thought, is this something associated with Robinson's

00:53:10.659 --> 00:53:14.340
Jam? But I can't say what it is. That's why I

00:53:14.340 --> 00:53:17.139
decided, does this go round all the way in there?

00:53:17.179 --> 00:53:22.599
It isn't, but it is contemporary to that decade

00:53:22.599 --> 00:53:27.880
of troublesomeness. When it all sort of... Is

00:53:27.880 --> 00:53:31.780
it... Is it meant to be human? No. Okay, thank

00:53:31.780 --> 00:53:35.739
God. This is a very weird shape. What area of

00:53:35.739 --> 00:53:38.000
problematicness are we going into? You've already

00:53:38.000 --> 00:53:41.340
said exactly what it is. It's a bear. You won't

00:53:41.340 --> 00:53:43.519
be able to guess any more than that. Right. It's

00:53:43.519 --> 00:53:50.920
a bear from the 50s to 60s, I'm guessing. Is

00:53:50.920 --> 00:53:53.070
it from the... Being based on that problematic

00:53:53.070 --> 00:53:56.030
era. Sorry, I think I'm near the mic now. My

00:53:56.030 --> 00:53:58.250
eyes are closer. I was thinking more, it was

00:53:58.250 --> 00:54:02.590
the 80s that became more of an issue. So it's

00:54:02.590 --> 00:54:04.889
contemporary to then. Oh, sorry, 80s, right.

00:54:04.969 --> 00:54:09.789
A bear from the 80s with a square head. Literally,

00:54:10.170 --> 00:54:13.170
it's a nondescript bear. It's not a character.

00:54:13.409 --> 00:54:14.829
Oh, sorry, I was trying to think. And it's not

00:54:14.829 --> 00:54:16.750
Paddington because he would have a hat on. No,

00:54:16.750 --> 00:54:18.949
it's not Rupert, no. And it's not Pudsey because

00:54:18.949 --> 00:54:21.750
he doesn't have an eye thing. It's just a bear.

00:54:21.949 --> 00:54:25.289
He is a bear. Oh, with very few features. He

00:54:25.289 --> 00:54:29.210
doesn't have a nose at all. That's because...

00:54:29.659 --> 00:54:33.159
That nose was probably sucked off by me to its

00:54:33.159 --> 00:54:36.860
non -existent form that it is now. This is Patrick.

00:54:37.469 --> 00:54:39.789
My very first teddy bear, whose name I couldn't

00:54:39.789 --> 00:54:44.349
pronounce properly. This is tricky. He was given

00:54:44.349 --> 00:54:47.190
to me the day I was born, as far as I know. He's

00:54:47.190 --> 00:54:49.530
partially decapitated at the back. Yeah, I did

00:54:49.530 --> 00:54:52.829
accidentally put my finger in. And he is threadbare

00:54:52.829 --> 00:54:56.530
in areas because he is so well loved. He's got

00:54:56.530 --> 00:54:58.369
his original eyes. I told mum the other day I

00:54:58.369 --> 00:55:00.789
still had him. She was like, she couldn't believe

00:55:00.789 --> 00:55:02.329
I still had him. I was like, of course I've still

00:55:02.329 --> 00:55:04.190
got him. And I've still got my pound puppies.

00:55:05.099 --> 00:55:07.219
You can't really wash it now. That'll fall apart.

00:55:07.500 --> 00:55:09.179
Yeah, I can't wash it. That's a biohazard. He's

00:55:09.179 --> 00:55:12.559
probably stuffed with asbestos and God knows

00:55:12.559 --> 00:55:16.440
what else. Carbon fibre, glass. Horse hair. Yeah,

00:55:16.519 --> 00:55:21.940
that too. He smells not unpleasant. Do you want

00:55:21.940 --> 00:55:23.880
to give him a sniff? No, you're right. He's full

00:55:23.880 --> 00:55:28.460
of my chicken pox germs and runny noses and crying

00:55:28.460 --> 00:55:30.559
myself to sleep. Oh, I wish I hadn't touched

00:55:30.559 --> 00:55:35.079
my face. I'm scratching my face there. No, he's

00:55:35.079 --> 00:55:38.900
as hygienic as you can be, I swear. As you can

00:55:38.900 --> 00:55:42.960
be. He is my very first teddy bear. He is literally

00:55:42.960 --> 00:55:46.159
as old as me. So this is Patrick, my tat in the

00:55:46.159 --> 00:55:48.659
box. He's very tatty. I wouldn't have guessed

00:55:48.659 --> 00:55:50.519
specifically what that was. No, you wouldn't.

00:55:50.519 --> 00:55:52.239
But you've got a teddy bear. A square -headed

00:55:52.239 --> 00:55:54.380
bear. A square -headed bear. Well, look, there's

00:55:54.380 --> 00:55:57.440
his ears. And I think he used to have a bit more

00:55:57.440 --> 00:55:59.639
of a rounded head. But I think he's probably

00:55:59.639 --> 00:56:04.119
been stitched up a few times. Yeah. But yeah,

00:56:04.239 --> 00:56:07.280
I love him. He's great. I don't think anything

00:56:07.280 --> 00:56:10.460
from my childhood probably would not have aged

00:56:10.460 --> 00:56:13.360
as well as that. I don't think any of the stitching

00:56:13.360 --> 00:56:15.559
would still be intact. I think after a certain

00:56:15.559 --> 00:56:17.780
amount of time, he got put on a shelf and then

00:56:17.780 --> 00:56:20.380
he got put in a cupboard. And then he was boxed

00:56:20.380 --> 00:56:23.340
up for probably about 20 years and he moved into

00:56:23.340 --> 00:56:26.099
my flat with me four years ago. And he's slept

00:56:26.099 --> 00:56:28.280
in my bedroom ever since. Not with me. He sleeps

00:56:28.280 --> 00:56:30.940
in my wardrobe. Nice to meet you, Patrick. Yeah,

00:56:31.000 --> 00:56:36.059
but he was my little buddy. So you can't have

00:56:36.059 --> 00:56:37.360
him as mine and you don't want him because he's

00:56:37.360 --> 00:56:39.320
scabby and horrible. No, he's definitely yours.

00:56:39.579 --> 00:56:41.639
Yeah, he's definitely mine. I love him. He's

00:56:41.639 --> 00:56:45.579
great. That was my tat. And that was my tat.

00:56:45.780 --> 00:56:53.840
Hey! I forgot to mention with your present. Remember

00:56:53.840 --> 00:56:56.679
I was cat -sitting for you? Yes. That's when

00:56:56.679 --> 00:56:58.760
I got that. Oh, really? From Cancer Research.

00:56:59.079 --> 00:57:01.619
Oh, I thought you had it aged. I tried to remember

00:57:01.619 --> 00:57:05.320
I got it for you. Oh, well done. I've been sitting

00:57:05.320 --> 00:57:07.199
on that one for a little while. You really have.

00:57:07.440 --> 00:57:10.960
I thought, oh, oh, Karen wouldn't have seen this.

00:57:11.019 --> 00:57:15.199
She's not here. She's away. I can get something

00:57:15.199 --> 00:57:17.320
that you won't see me getting it as well. I'm

00:57:17.320 --> 00:57:20.079
on my own. That's so funny. This is on your doorstep.

00:57:23.530 --> 00:57:27.769
Sneaky boy. So, to end this episode, bibliotech.

00:57:28.030 --> 00:57:32.050
Now, I'm a bit on the fence whether to include

00:57:32.050 --> 00:57:34.929
this one properly in the show because it's not

00:57:34.929 --> 00:57:37.730
very good. Neither was the dentist joke book.

00:57:38.070 --> 00:57:42.159
No, well... Traditionally, at Christmas, as kids,

00:57:42.300 --> 00:57:45.679
we would get an annual. Oh! So I have got the

00:57:45.679 --> 00:57:51.179
A -Team annual from 1986. Wow! From YMCA in Llanelli.

00:57:51.260 --> 00:57:55.780
I think it was a pound. Nice. The downside of

00:57:55.780 --> 00:57:58.659
this is the spine is very frail, so I can't really

00:57:58.659 --> 00:58:01.179
take it. I'm kind of afraid to take it. Yeah,

00:58:01.199 --> 00:58:03.079
I can see that it's split. It's hard to scan

00:58:03.079 --> 00:58:07.219
it. This is the second of the UK AT manuals.

00:58:07.219 --> 00:58:11.380
They ran from 1985 to 1988. It's not a very good

00:58:11.380 --> 00:58:13.699
one. You'd think you'd be excited to get an AT

00:58:13.699 --> 00:58:16.780
manual being a kid. I would have been five years

00:58:16.780 --> 00:58:20.480
old. AT would have been, yes, required Saturday

00:58:20.480 --> 00:58:23.760
afternoon viewing. I'd be a bit disappointed

00:58:23.760 --> 00:58:26.920
with this, I'll be honest. Oh, no, really? It's

00:58:26.920 --> 00:58:30.820
mostly text -heavy stories. Oh, that's not what

00:58:30.820 --> 00:58:33.099
you need when you're a kid. There's a few comic

00:58:33.099 --> 00:58:36.460
strips. These are the fun ones. There we go.

00:58:36.840 --> 00:58:39.360
Oh, right. They're fine. Yeah, that is fine.

00:58:39.579 --> 00:58:42.900
Each story is six pages long. There's nine stories

00:58:42.900 --> 00:58:46.679
in there, mixed between comic strips and text

00:58:46.679 --> 00:58:49.760
-heavy stories. Usually in an annual, you'd expect

00:58:49.760 --> 00:58:53.550
to be... fact files with some characters or some...

00:58:53.550 --> 00:58:56.650
Activities? Yeah, find a maze or here's a line

00:58:56.650 --> 00:58:58.369
drawing of the A -Team and you've got to colour

00:58:58.369 --> 00:59:00.730
the guys in or some action explosion or something.

00:59:00.829 --> 00:59:04.929
No. It is no character profiles, no fact files,

00:59:05.289 --> 00:59:09.349
no photo sections, no behind the scenes. They've

00:59:09.349 --> 00:59:11.929
just got a couple of promotional pictures just

00:59:11.929 --> 00:59:14.469
on the front and back covers and the inside.

00:59:14.829 --> 00:59:18.710
Right. That pretty much is it. One or two pictures

00:59:18.710 --> 00:59:23.380
you'll see. Like just like cells out of programs

00:59:23.380 --> 00:59:25.960
they've shot. Yeah. There we go. They're just

00:59:25.960 --> 00:59:28.599
nothing to do with the story itself that's in

00:59:28.599 --> 00:59:30.940
there. Baraka stood around holding a gun. Yeah.

00:59:31.019 --> 00:59:33.800
Or there'll be George Pepper there leaning out

00:59:33.800 --> 00:59:35.880
of a helicopter or a barn or something. But yeah,

00:59:35.980 --> 00:59:40.400
just context free promotional stills. Am I the

00:59:40.400 --> 00:59:42.460
only one who used to think that his leather driving

00:59:42.460 --> 00:59:45.539
gloves were a bit pedo -y weirdo -y? Stranglers.

00:59:48.059 --> 00:59:50.980
Because he was meant to be an actor or character

00:59:50.980 --> 00:59:54.119
actor in films, on film sets. Oh, was he? I think,

00:59:54.119 --> 00:59:56.159
yeah, one of the first episodes, he's a Godzilla

00:59:56.159 --> 00:59:59.920
-type monster from the Black Lagoon with a little

00:59:59.920 --> 01:00:01.659
neck flap and his face is there and he's got

01:00:01.659 --> 01:00:05.380
a cigar sticking out. Wow. But, yeah, it's a

01:00:05.380 --> 01:00:08.000
really, really disappointing annual. That's a

01:00:08.000 --> 01:00:11.360
shame. Yeah. So that's why I'm wondering, should

01:00:11.360 --> 01:00:12.880
I even bother including this this year? Yeah,

01:00:12.880 --> 01:00:14.139
no, I think we should include it because it's

01:00:14.139 --> 01:00:18.019
important because kids... whilst they need words

01:00:18.019 --> 01:00:22.059
and you know they're useful it's an annual it's

01:00:22.059 --> 01:00:23.820
supposed to be fun it shouldn't just be like

01:00:23.820 --> 01:00:26.099
unless you were really into reading behind the

01:00:26.099 --> 01:00:29.500
scenes stuff and you know in depth is i mean

01:00:29.500 --> 01:00:32.480
is there any like in -depth episode no none of

01:00:32.480 --> 01:00:34.420
these are nothing to do with the show they're

01:00:34.420 --> 01:00:37.170
stories Just for the annual. They're not even

01:00:37.170 --> 01:00:40.550
retellings of episodes. Oh, well. Yeah. Waste

01:00:40.550 --> 01:00:43.170
of money. Don't ever buy your children an 18

01:00:43.170 --> 01:00:45.550
annual unless they really, really, really want

01:00:45.550 --> 01:00:48.170
one. At least not the 1986 one. And I think there

01:00:48.170 --> 01:00:51.230
was one in 1991, which was a compilation of stories

01:00:51.230 --> 01:00:54.010
from the previous four annuals. Oh, wow. That

01:00:54.010 --> 01:00:56.389
put in so much hard work, that team, didn't they?

01:00:56.909 --> 01:00:58.590
As an adult, there were a couple of things I...

01:00:58.590 --> 01:01:01.150
A couple of years ago, re -watching the 18 with

01:01:01.150 --> 01:01:03.789
the late Jeremy, I go, oh, shit, I misremembered

01:01:03.789 --> 01:01:07.659
that. I misremembered. The A -Team van, the GMC

01:01:07.659 --> 01:01:10.699
Vendura, I always thought it was solid black

01:01:10.699 --> 01:01:13.880
with the red stripe. The top half was grey above

01:01:13.880 --> 01:01:16.780
the red stripe. Oh, was it? Yeah, a sort of really

01:01:16.780 --> 01:01:19.739
dark grey above that. Apparently the red stripe

01:01:19.739 --> 01:01:25.449
was Mr T's idea. He said, no, we need to... Break

01:01:25.449 --> 01:01:27.789
it up a bit. Yeah, BA isn't driving around in

01:01:27.789 --> 01:01:30.429
just a boring van. He wants to go faster, Stripe.

01:01:30.429 --> 01:01:32.809
I need cool for my van. And they had to make

01:01:32.809 --> 01:01:37.349
the custom spoiler then across the top to make

01:01:37.349 --> 01:01:40.489
it, to finish the look. And also, I'd forgot,

01:01:40.550 --> 01:01:43.329
faces Corvette. I'd forgotten how the big red

01:01:43.329 --> 01:01:45.929
stripe band all the way around there and across

01:01:45.929 --> 01:01:48.090
the back. I thought, I just remember it being

01:01:48.090 --> 01:01:50.630
a plain white car. I really misremembered that.

01:01:51.130 --> 01:01:53.769
strange odd details. Yeah, C4 Corvette was a

01:01:53.769 --> 01:01:56.590
really cool looking car though. And the GMC Vendura

01:01:56.590 --> 01:01:58.369
was a really good looking van. Yeah, it was a

01:01:58.369 --> 01:02:00.969
good looking van. Otherwise, those are probably

01:02:00.969 --> 01:02:03.489
the best bits of the annual is, oh, there's photos

01:02:03.489 --> 01:02:07.309
of the stuff. Yeah, there's a minor nod to nostalgia,

01:02:07.429 --> 01:02:11.369
but it's very minor. And the comic strips were

01:02:11.369 --> 01:02:13.590
quite good, but that's it. I'll have to bring

01:02:13.590 --> 01:02:15.730
my Paul Daniels one in one day and we'll compare

01:02:15.730 --> 01:02:18.429
the two. And we can see who had the better annual.

01:02:18.670 --> 01:02:20.349
There's probably a Whizbit comic strip or something

01:02:20.349 --> 01:02:22.349
in the Paul Daniels one. Oh, if there isn't,

01:02:22.349 --> 01:02:25.170
I'd be disappointed. Say yes, Paul. Yes, Paul.

01:02:26.070 --> 01:02:28.469
If I can, I'll scan some of these in work. If

01:02:28.469 --> 01:02:32.230
not, I'll see if there's any links on the internet

01:02:32.230 --> 01:02:35.210
archive for the annual. I'll put a link on there.

01:02:35.530 --> 01:02:38.309
Sounds good. You'd be disappointed to get that

01:02:38.309 --> 01:02:39.809
at Christmas. Are you going to re -donate it

01:02:39.809 --> 01:02:41.469
or are you going to keep it? Yeah, I think I'll

01:02:41.469 --> 01:02:43.650
re -donate it. I've got a few things that I need

01:02:43.650 --> 01:02:46.289
to re -donate after the end of this year. We

01:02:46.289 --> 01:02:47.730
should do an episode on things we're going to

01:02:47.730 --> 01:02:51.190
re -donate. Reverse January sales. Yeah. We'll

01:02:51.190 --> 01:02:53.030
take things to the charity shop. We'll have a

01:02:53.030 --> 01:02:55.170
clear out. Yeah. I'm sure they'll appreciate

01:02:55.170 --> 01:02:56.690
that. Of course they will because that's when

01:02:56.690 --> 01:02:58.769
everyone has a clear out. After Christmas, not

01:02:58.769 --> 01:03:01.510
before. Great. You're bringing this back. Thanks.

01:03:03.769 --> 01:03:12.090
Jinx. Thank you very much for listening once

01:03:12.090 --> 01:03:15.010
again and have a fantastic Christmas or whatever

01:03:15.010 --> 01:03:18.929
you celebrate and a happy 2026 to you, whether

01:03:18.929 --> 01:03:21.119
you're listening. Before or after the new year,

01:03:21.199 --> 01:03:24.159
that may or may not make sense. And to those

01:03:24.159 --> 01:03:27.000
who have seen the terms and conditions to 2026,

01:03:27.219 --> 01:03:29.159
I wish you luck. And to those that haven't seen

01:03:29.159 --> 01:03:30.940
the terms and conditions, ignorance is bliss.

01:03:31.500 --> 01:03:33.480
Happy whenever you're celebrating for whatever

01:03:33.480 --> 01:03:36.739
you celebrate. Absolutely. Thank you. Just thanks

01:03:36.739 --> 01:03:38.519
for sticking with us this year. I know this schedule

01:03:38.519 --> 01:03:40.559
has gone a bit awry towards the end of it, but

01:03:40.559 --> 01:03:43.219
we're both a little bit burnt out from life in

01:03:43.219 --> 01:03:46.219
general and we needed to just drop the episodes

01:03:46.219 --> 01:03:48.719
a tiny bit to give us a break. But it's been

01:03:48.719 --> 01:03:50.510
nice doing it. once a month for a little while

01:03:50.510 --> 01:03:54.329
um i'm hoping i can be a bit more available for

01:03:54.329 --> 01:03:56.250
the podcast to be back on track in the new year

01:03:56.250 --> 01:03:59.409
going back to a fortnightly release yeah well

01:03:59.409 --> 01:04:01.829
you know we only put pressure on ourselves so

01:04:01.829 --> 01:04:04.610
you know don't put pressure on yourself i kind

01:04:04.610 --> 01:04:07.420
of said it now But we've only got one listener.

01:04:08.059 --> 01:04:10.960
Sorry, Matt, if you find out we don't do it fortnightly.

01:04:11.500 --> 01:04:14.920
If I don't do it fortnightly, it'll be my fault.

01:04:15.139 --> 01:04:18.559
You'd be releasing those secret pods. Definitely

01:04:18.559 --> 01:04:22.840
not. You can find us at lightlyused .co .uk where

01:04:22.840 --> 01:04:25.000
you'll find a blog post for every episode that

01:04:25.000 --> 01:04:27.119
includes pictures and links to everything that

01:04:27.119 --> 01:04:29.820
we've talked about. We are part of the Studio

01:04:29.820 --> 01:04:32.820
Channel 84 network. Find our fellow shows there.

01:04:32.860 --> 01:04:36.059
There's the Variety Show with TJ and Rob. The

01:04:36.059 --> 01:04:39.860
Untitled Sci -Fi Show with Rob and TJ. Who Takes

01:04:39.860 --> 01:04:43.679
the Socks Off and Socks On or Off Minisodes with

01:04:43.679 --> 01:04:47.280
Ross and Simon. Plus the Land Before Prime Micro

01:04:47.280 --> 01:04:49.760
Movie Review dedicated to physical media and

01:04:49.760 --> 01:04:52.699
current cinema releases. You can find all of

01:04:52.699 --> 01:04:56.019
us and links to all of our socials at channel84

01:04:56.019 --> 01:05:00.300
.co .uk. I need to get better at doing that.

01:05:02.860 --> 01:05:04.960
How old is the show now and I've still got to

01:05:04.960 --> 01:05:09.099
write this down? A year and a half. Yeah. And

01:05:09.099 --> 01:05:10.380
that said, depending how well I've edited the

01:05:10.380 --> 01:05:12.039
show, I did have that written down and I still

01:05:12.039 --> 01:05:14.659
fucked it up. And you only just wrote it down

01:05:14.659 --> 01:05:17.639
as well. Yeah. It's literally fresh in my mind.

01:05:18.099 --> 01:05:21.239
And on the paper. Yeah, but have you seen my

01:05:21.239 --> 01:05:24.119
writing in my defence? I don't think your writing

01:05:24.119 --> 01:05:26.900
is that bad, especially for a gentleman. I think

01:05:26.900 --> 01:05:28.340
my writing's terrible. I'm the one that's got

01:05:28.340 --> 01:05:29.920
to read it. I should do something about that.

01:05:30.139 --> 01:05:32.099
I think it's too neat to be a doctor, which means

01:05:32.099 --> 01:05:37.099
it's OK. I am not a doctor, let's just make that

01:05:37.099 --> 01:05:39.079
clear. Yeah, you don't have the handwriting for

01:05:39.079 --> 01:05:40.920
it. If you want some medical advice, happy to

01:05:40.920 --> 01:05:45.360
give it. Drop us an email, pod at like, no. No,

01:05:45.360 --> 01:05:48.079
don't. Don't do that. Maybe you shouldn't solicit

01:05:48.079 --> 01:05:50.340
yourself. You'd be getting un -solicited. Matt,

01:05:50.340 --> 01:05:52.199
if you've got a rash, you'd need to look at Matt.

01:05:52.860 --> 01:05:57.300
Without one listener. Make sure you send it to

01:05:57.300 --> 01:05:59.619
the email address because I don't want to see

01:05:59.619 --> 01:06:02.039
it. He's got my phone number. It'll come to me

01:06:02.039 --> 01:06:05.019
via WhatsApp first and that is unfair. Yeah,

01:06:05.059 --> 01:06:07.480
Karen is not my secretary. I am not a doctor.

01:06:07.599 --> 01:06:12.159
I will be looking for a lawyer. Anything of that

01:06:12.159 --> 01:06:15.539
nature is very unsolicited. We don't want it.

01:06:15.679 --> 01:06:20.380
No. I don't think he's inclined to send it. Just

01:06:20.380 --> 01:06:22.860
in case anyone other than Matt. Might be listening.

01:06:23.039 --> 01:06:25.019
Yeah. We're talking to you as well. Yeah, please

01:06:25.019 --> 01:06:27.519
don't send us anything unless it's love and adoration

01:06:27.519 --> 01:06:30.460
or, I don't know, a fiver. Yeah, go on. Keep

01:06:30.460 --> 01:06:33.900
it to yourself. Yeah. And Merry Christmas! We

01:06:33.900 --> 01:06:37.659
wish you a Merry Christmas. We don't want to

01:06:37.659 --> 01:06:40.900
see your horrible dick pics. We wish you a Merry

01:06:40.900 --> 01:06:41.780
Christmas. Oh, shit, I've just sang them the

01:06:41.780 --> 01:06:45.880
show. And a Happy New Year. See you later, fuckfaces!

01:06:45.900 --> 01:06:56.150
Love you! Much. Brilliant. Adam and Karen have

01:06:56.150 --> 01:07:00.050
been lightly used. Visit lightlyused .co .uk

01:07:00.050 --> 01:07:04.329
for more. To get in touch, email pod at lightlyused

01:07:04.329 --> 01:07:15.170
.co .uk. He sent me a screenshot. Was that your

01:07:15.170 --> 01:07:17.989
throat? Yeah, I should have drunk that tea so

01:07:17.989 --> 01:07:21.599
quickly. I just heard this little rumble in my

01:07:21.599 --> 01:07:26.099
ear. Yeah, some weird digestive thing just in

01:07:26.099 --> 01:07:29.559
the back of my throat. Sorry. It is, Karen says.

01:07:38.320 --> 01:07:42.460
This was a Studio Channel 84 network show. To

01:07:42.460 --> 01:07:47.280
find more, head over to channel84 .co .uk now.