This is Lightly Used with Adam and Karen. Hello,
I'm Adam. And I'm Karen. This is episode 29 of
Lightly Used. It's a podcast mostly centred around
our love of tech from charity shops and car boot
sales or things we've found in our attics that
we've had a long time. This episode might sound
very, very different because we're using some
new tech. We've recorded this episode once before.
Yes. This is the first time we've ever had to
redo an entire episode as far as I can remember.
Yes, I believe so. You are correct. So no matter
what this sounds like, this is going out because
at this point we've done this episode once already.
Yeah. So we're going to do bits and bobs that
we can remember that we did and the rest is just
going to be lost. Yeah. So there's no surprises.
We know what the tat is. Pre -prepared for some
segments that may not be as dynamic as you'd
expect because we already know what's happened.
Well, the first thing I've got to do before we
start anything, I've got a gripe to get off my
chest. Ooh, gripe away, gripe. Because remember
our birthday episode, Art decided he wanted to
have a AI voice of me as a birthday present for
the episode. Yeah, weird sort of a present. And
pretty much the first thing we did was say, no,
shut it down. We don't want any part of that.
Yes. Today we're recording this on Saturday the
9th of August. Okay. On Who Takes the Socks Off?
The episode 54. I think that was out on the 1st
of August. So between us recording the last episode
and recording this episode, that Who Takes the
Socks Off episode that came out, Art's been doing
fucking adverts for them. But they've got Crimson
Nature Media. Why do they need art? One of his
companies is affiliated. No, they put adverts
from other companies in. Oh, the shell companies.
I don't know how he's managed it. But yeah, he's
using my voice and making money off us. So partly
because of that, we're going to be taking a bit
of a break for a month. Yes. And we'll be doing
a monthly show for a little while. In protest.
Don't know how long that will be going for. Also,
secondarily, we've got shit to do. Yeah. We're
blaming art for most of this. So the less shows
that we can do, the less feeding of the machine
we're doing for him so he can't train his AI
based on us. Yeah. We're not happy with art.
So if you've seen him anywhere, let us know.
Yeah. Have you seen this man? Speaking of this
man, I do have a photograph of him. You actually
do? When I went to the studio last time to say,
have you seen him? I was trying to describe him
and... It didn't really match anyone's descriptions.
They hadn't really seen him, so... Kind of a
Mr. Everyday Man. We don't know if we've got
an imposter. Is this him? Yeah, that's him. Fucking
excellent. We've definitely got a corroborating
witness. I don't feel like I'm losing my goddamn
marbles. So, right, we've both seen this person,
Art Grant. That's the photo of him. Now, I've
tried making a Wanted poster. Say, Wanted, have
you seen this man? We've lost him. Have you ever
tried photocopying or scanning money? No, because
I'm not a criminal. I was told there's security
features in there to stop it scanning. Oh. Oh,
are there then? Let's find out. You just start
it. No, no, no. Stop. Shut down. Really? It just
won't do it. That's what's happening with this
picture. Everything else is scanning and photocopying
apart from his face. Huh. So, yeah, I don't know
how this photo was taken in the first place for
his ID. Is he a spy? Or a vampire. Or from the
FBI. Maybe CIA. Fuck knows. But yeah, his face
just doesn't come out. It's a good job he's not
that pretty, really. Yeah, but we need to stop
him making money off my voice. He's got him doing
advert voices. Have you tried taking a photo
of the photo? He enunciates better than... Yeah,
it's just blank. Where everything else comes
out, but just where the face is. It's a bit like
it's got that... Stuff on that you can put on
your number plates that's not... Illegal film.
It's not illegal, but not legal either. It's
absolutely illegal. It makes your number plate
invisible on a speed camera. Yeah. His face might
be made of that stuff. I don't know. He might
be AI for all I know at this point. Oh, fuck.
One other thing I do have to mention. Have you
ever seen one of your old cars for sale? Oh no,
but when we lived in Sheffield, dad had a green
Vauxhall Carlton, which I loved. And we kept
that until we moved to Telford. And then at some
point dad swapped it and got something else.
I think he may have traded it in potentially
for a Renault Scenic when they first came out.
And we saw that car driving around Telford after
dad had sold it. But I've never seen a car that
myself or someone I know has owned and then spotted
it for sale. Out of the blue, I'd look up the
range for my previous car. Oh, yeah. Just to
see if it's still around because any other car
I've traded in or anything like that, I haven't
bothered looking up. Yeah. Years later, oh, yeah,
I wonder if that's, no, no. I wonder if that's
still on the road. No, it's not. So the ad was
from the end of May. So I traded it in at the
start of May. Yeah. Lies. Lies in the advert.
There's one previous owner, no marks on the body,
sat -nav, new Goodyear tyres. I was the third
owner for a start. The sat -nav didn't work.
It kept saying, it kept thinking it was in one
place in France. Yes, and the clock didn't work
either. Because that was linked to the GPS time.
Yeah. So there's no way you could set the actual
clock in there unless you took the battery off.
Put the battery back on one minute past o 'clock.
Yeah. Then you could, or past an hour. Then you
reset the hour, but I think it was quarter to
and 20 -something minutes past. That's all you
could adjust for the minutes. That's ridiculous.
But yeah, so I was the third owner. The sat -nav
didn't work. That's even when the second owner
had it. He told me the sat -nav didn't work and
explained that's why the clock didn't work. Also,
it's a 20 -year -old car. It was in good condition,
for its age. Yeah, it was. You can also see a
small ding in the trim in the photo listing.
No marks on the bloody advert. Is a ding a mark,
though? Because if the paint is still intact,
is it a ding? No, it was just a chrome plasticky
effect sticking on trim in the bumper. I think
the plastic underneath it was fine. It's just
that little stick -on chrome effect trim. That
was a little bit of a, oh, something's hit it
there or you've caught it on something. But,
yeah, that was in the very first photo. Saying
there's no marks on there. And unless they've
spent some money on new rubber, those tyres were
from 2020 when I had the car. LN05 PCU, if you
want to have a look for it. Don't buy it from
Facebook. Or anybody else, apparently. Also,
it's only worth about two grand. It is a nice
car, but it's not worth much more than two grand.
Not the nearly four they're asking for. Not at
this point. Yeah, and also the battery drains.
That's not mentioned in the advert. They said,
it starts on the button. That's true if the battery's
alive. Yeah, it drains the battery within three
days. Yeah, there's some sort of parasitic drain
we never figured out the root cause of. That's
the first car I've decided to look up relatively
soon after selling it. Oh, they're just absolutely
full of shit. In that case, I wish the new owners,
whomever they may be, much luck. Yeah, you're
going to fucking need it. Or a guarantee, one
of the two. Oh. One thing we forgot to do in
the recording. I'm just going to nip out for
a second. All right, then. Just looked at my
notes and I forgot we had this. Oh, I don't know
what this thing is. Oh, apparently I do know
what this thing is. He looks very excited about
it as he was leaving the room. But I cannot recall.
Oh, I know what this is. You can say it. this
is a drink that i got for adam from the turkish
supermarket a couple of weeks ago it is um in
a cardboard can i would say it's a can isn't
it cardboard can tubular carton like a red bull
cart red red bull tin sort of size standard red
bull but it is not red bull what is in the carton
adam camelicious long life camel milk drink Chocolate
flavour. Yummy. Chocolate camel milk. I'm going
to take a quick photo before I drink any of it.
So there's a... Let's take the shake well. Oh,
do the pose again. Thumbs up, motherfuckers.
There we go. Let's give this a shake. Shake,
shake, shake Sonora. Instantly frothed up. Shake,
shake, shake Sonora. Something in body line.
Right. A big cut on my book. I've got a feeling
this is going to froth up straight away. He's
trying to open the can. Because we don't usually
do taste tests on the show. We don't, no. And
I suppose technically this isn't a taste test.
This is just a Karen bought a random thing for
Adam to try. And I'm curious to know what it's
like. Well, I think because the taste test, as
far as Studio Channel 84 goes. That's variety
show territory. Yes. So we can't score it. We
can just try things. Can we say whether it's
okay or not okay? Yeah, yeah. But no scores between
two and six. We can say whether we like it or
not, but no scoring. Okay. Oh, there we go. There
it is. Oh, it's found the opening. Yeah, it was
nowhere near where the actual tab was. I suppose
that's good, though, because you don't get splashed
with milk immediately. What does it smell? A
little vaguely chocolate smell. I should hope
there should be some sort of chocolate sniff.
It's vaguely like the weakest chocolate milkshake
you've ever smelled. Yazoo chocolate milk is
what that reminds me of. Or really weak Nesquik.
It's quite watery. It doesn't taste too milky.
That reminds me. It's got a flavour of something.
It's not very well mixed Nesquik. It is very
Nesquik milkshake. Or sucky straw thing. There's
a little bit of an aftertaste to it, but I'm
not sure if that's just... Because it's been
packaged in the factory. Not sure how it would
taste straight from the camel. Well, it wouldn't
taste chocolate straight from the camel, unless
it's their special camels. But it's not objectionable
at all. I would, you know, I would quite happily
drink a glass of that. Yeah, I'd drink a camel
dry. We should leave it there. I was going to
say, it's no chocomel, but, you know, you beat
me with a much better line. Coming up on the
show today, no lightly used news. We've finished
that chapter of Johnny Turnip. So the next episode
of our lightly used will be a Turnip Tales for
the Once and Future Kings saga. As Karen mentioned,
a bit of a change to the tat in the box this
episode because we know exactly what items we've
brought because we've recorded that once already.
We do have a bit of a game section and we've
got a terrible... Karen. That's got a terrible,
terrible book for you for bibliography. It is
without a doubt the worst book I've found so
far. And we're both sick and tired of it because
as we've been setting up this new bit of kit,
that's what we've been using to test the level.
I have now read approximately a thousand dental
related jokes. And the introduction page. 27
times. Yeah, all rights reserved. You'll have
to wait till the end of the show for that. Wait
till BiblioTet. While there's no likely used
news this episode, if you would like to see how
the sausage is made, so to speak, Karen filmed
me recording last episode. So if you'd like to
see that video... Link is on the blog, lightlyused
.co .uk, or there's a link in the metadata for
the episode. Okay, so as previously described,
this is a not -so -secret. Tat in the box, tat
in the box. Tat in the box, tat in the box. Tat
in the box, tat in the box. Tat in the box. Tat
in the box. I wonder what I've got to guess today.
Well, you've got two small things to fiddle around
with today. These are excellent, though, to be
fair. I was really chuffed with those, yeah.
So they are two small pin badges. Very different
subjects matter on each of them. I got them at
a car boot sale in Gorsainen last Wednesday.
They were 50 pence each from a very nice gentleman
who was also trying to sell a lot of comics and
a lot of stamps. He had loads of pin badges.
Oh, coins as well. He's a coin collector. Did
you get any stamps for your... I know you're
a little bit of interest. No, I didn't buy any
stamps. Didn't scratch that itch. Lexi and I
were there at the time where everyone was sort
of packing up and he'd put a lot of stuff away,
but he was just like carrying a tray to his van.
I was like, hang on, there's loads of random
bits in there. I'd like to have a look. So we
stood and chatted to him for 10 minutes whilst
I rummaged through his tat. And I picked up these
two pin badges. He must have had about 100 there.
There were a few different of the Festival Rowenta
ones. So one of the pin badges is a black clacker
board. So a film board, you know, soundboard.
And it says Festival Rowenta on it. Now, from
what I can recall from my very little research
that I did last week, is that this is potentially
a Canadian film festival. Couldn't find an awful
lot out about it. Rowenta are a company that
makes and produces things like hair dryers, hair
curlers, straighteners, sort of like very high
end fashion -y type things. So I think possibly
this badge and the other Rowenta badges might
have been given to people who were working on...
famous people at a film festival i'm not sure
attendees possibly or a little swag bag yeah
that's that's that's my thought i cannot prove
or disprove that if anyone knows what festival
rowenta is feel free to drop us an email at pod
at lightlyused .co .uk and we will share your
knowledge with our six listeners and if you do
know anything about these pin badges Was this
for people that were screening a film? Was it
part of the swag bag for people, for judges?
Or was it staff only? Or did everybody involved
get it? Or was it just a couple of exclusive
or a select few people at the event? It would
be nice to know. But he had one that was a star
shape. And I was very tempted by that one. But
I thought the clacker board was more suitable
just for you, really. Was it also a Festival
Rowenta? Yes, it was, yeah. So if I see him again
and he still has more Festival Rowenta ones,
I'll pick them up and I'll bring them over. I'm
wondering if... Either there might have just
been lots of different Hollywood or film -related
ones, or whether it was your cast, your crew,
and whether they got different shape ones. Yeah,
like if you were crew, you got a clackerboard,
and if you were cast, you got a star or something.
Yeah. But Google Lens knows nothing about that
particular badge. It did bring up the star -shaped
one, rare, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, when
I did a Google Lens, but again, didn't find any
information other than the fact that it's just
a badge that says Festival Rowento on it. Oh.
And the second badge I particularly like is a
Pepsi Cola sponsored Lakers NBA World Championships
1984 to 1985. So it's Los Angeles Lakers pin
badge. And the championship was sponsored by
Pepsi Cola that year, I believe. And it's a cool
little thing. It's really funky. Metal enameled
with a clear enamel coating over the top. So
you can't. feel the textures underneath but you
know if the top layer came off it would it would
be like really super textured or lumpy from the
text lumpy bumpy but there's a yellow basketball
purple lakers print you've got the pepsico logo
at the bottom and it's sort of like a an arched
window shape Yeah, it's the nice, the 80s style
Pepsi logo as well. The good one before they
started faking it, just kind of, these are not
quite a yin yang sign. It's just, yeah, it's
just, we can divide this in two with a wiggly
line between. Do you think they changed it to
Pepsi from Pepsi Cola purely for financial reasons?
Because it would cost them so much less to do
merch and tins. Not sure. On printing costs and
stuff. Maybe they just didn't need to say we're
a cola drink anymore. Maybe. I don't know whether
it was round about the time of New Coke, perhaps.
Possibly. But anyway, I very much like those
two badges and they are all yours for, you know,
for nothing for you, but they cost me a pound.
Thank you very, very much. No, they are very,
very cool. You're welcome. Photos on the website,
lightlyused .co .uk. Find the show blog for episode
29, this is, I think. I think so. I've got my
notebook here next to me. Yeah, I think it's
29. It's definitely not 30. Okay, my tet's just
on the tet shelves next to me. Oh, handy. We'll
just do the one. Okay, just the one, Mrs Wembley.
So my tet were three sets of Top Trumps. One
that you bought me and two that I bought myself.
I did have more than two sets. I got them from...
The Salvation Army charity shop in Llanelli.
I think they had them about 75 pence each or
three for a pound, something like that. And I
thought, oh, yeah, I've got a deal here because
I think they undercharged me a little bit. I
thought, oh, I've got quids in there. Got home.
One of the set of cards just completely blank
entirely. The front cover showing it's meant
to be an interesting set. Yeah. Opened them up.
No, they're just precisely cut blank cards. I
wonder if that was like a printing issue and
you had like a super rare deck and then you just
put it in the recycling. Or just absolutely scanned.
You put like a £10 ,000 set of Top Trumps in
the bin. Oh. Knowing your luck. That's on me.
Probably, yeah. You'd be like, at least it wasn't
the 700 million Bitcoin hard drive in a dump
somewhere in Wales. I'm begging the council,
please let me dig it up. Please let me dig it
up. Apparently there was some update about that
the other day, but I have refused to read it.
I cannot. I think he's trying to make a film.
Oh, right. These started around about 1976, 77.
I can't find a bit of paper. I was looking frantically
for my notes. We were talking about landfill
crypto waste. I can't find them. As best I can
remember, it spun off in the 1960s from a card
game called Quartets, which is a children's educational
game. And the first company made them called
Ace Trumps. and i think that was a german company
and the british company i can't remember the
name of that company started doing it making
them just at the late 70s ace trumps introduced
the super trump card i remember that that was
the one card if you get any peck that'll beat
all the others no matter what your friends have
got because how you play top trumps usually is
all the cards would be based on a genre something
in this case Breaking Bad. Yes. I've got an Indiana
Jones and a Top Gear set of supercars. Unfortunately,
the Indiana Jones ones look like they've been
spunked together. Let's say they're water damaged
and hope for the best. But yeah, there'd be values
on there. There'd be, in this case, a character
for Breaking Bad or a car for the Top Trumps.
And it would have a list of attributes on there,
like there'd be horsepower, year of manufacture,
top speed, or in the case of the Breaking Bad
ones... Influence, attitude, badness. Whatever.
You're not meant to know these yet. I'm meant
to be showing these off. You're not meant to
have played these with us yet. Oh, sorry. Yeah,
sorry. So tell us what... The fact that we're
playing them next is going to be a surprise.
And also an example of my laziness because we've
had a week to do it and I still haven't brought
a different game. We could literally just roll
this segment into the game segment and be like,
here's all the cards we've talked about and I
would just play the game. No, it's going to be
easier for me to edit the first segment. Okay.
But yeah, I thought Tops were a lot, lot older,
but no, they've only been around since the 70s.
So they're 50 -odd. Old enough. Aimed at boys,
definitely, because they had things like military
machines, space rockets, and race cars, things
like that, trying to get kids into them. Things
that go fast and look like penises. I had a set
of Le Mans racing car ones as a kid. I fondly
remember those. That's the first time I heard
of the car manufacturer Lola, and it stuck with
me as a Le Mans race. I've done that joke again.
I've had a space colony set, which was full of
70s concept album art looking. That's cool. Yeah.
I distinctly remember that set. I'm pretty sure
I had a warship set and I'm pretty sure I had
a train set as well. I distinctly remember buying
the Top Trumps poos for my two oldest nephews,
Harry and Max, to play when they were much younger
than they are now. Were they just literal photos
of poo or animated? They were, you can get two
different types of this particular deck of cards,
I believe, because I have seen literal photographic
ones, but I got the illustrated version for the
boys. More safe for work. But yeah, it was like,
you know, weight, smell, power, you know, colour,
texture. Yeah, it was gross, but they loved it.
Apparently, when Waddingtons took over, this
is the last bit of information I can remember
from my cards, when Waddingtons took over in
about the 80s doing Top Trumps, those are the
really collectible ones, apparently. Ah, so to
keep an eye out for early 80s Waddingtons Top
Trumps. Yeah, there are probably going to be
a lot more than these in the charity shop, though.
I think they were a pound or £1 .99, that deck,
the Breaking Bad ones. Well, that's doing all
right. Yeah. Oh, I did go to a car boot sale.
I say car boot sale. That's how it was advertised
as in the community centre down the road from
me. Yeah. Completely indoors on those fold -out
tables. One person did have a set of Top Trump
cards that I was looking at. They seemed to have
them all turned inside. Oh, wait. Are you trying
to rip somebody off? Look at them. FHM Cover
Girls. Oh, I see. I didn't bother. I just had
a chuckle. That's probably one of the only things
I can remember being there. That's funny. Oh,
there was a gold one of those Daleks that I've
got. Oh, there's a pair of those for sale on
Facebook Marketplace at the moment. I didn't
ask how much the gold one was at the shop. I've
got one already. It's taken up enough space on
the bloody shelf. And some guy had some indoor
kooky decoration, half a skeleton, like hands
up. And that was, looked like it was spray painted
gold. Nice. Rattle cant. Lovely. Should have
got that for Jackson and Abby for the studio.
Oh, if they have another carb week sale, I don't
think he would have shifted it. It's definitely
a niche item. Fair enough. He's probably hanging
on to that for a while. Halloween's soon. Photographs
of all our tat on the blog, lightly used, .co
.uk. Guess what we're going to be doing next?
In lieu of a board game, and despite us doing
this already, we're playing Top Trumps again.
Oh, thanks for waiting for me to not talk while
you clack at those cards. Right, fuck it, that's
staying in. I'm not editing it. I didn't think
you'd mind. I'm sorry. 10 cards each. Let's just
fly through this segment. Okay. 2, 3, 4, 5, 6,
7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18,
19, 20. There you go. You can go first. We're
doing these face down and just picking whichever
one comes first. Yeah. Okay. I will go for family
values. Oh, you're going to win there. 70. How
many? 70. 7 -0. Oh. And who's your character?
The Salamanca brothers. Okay. I've got Gustavo
Fring. So with 17 at family values, you win that
card. This is already a reverse of last time.
No one's ever going to believe that I beat you
at Top Trumps. Family values? Mm -hmm. 25? 70.
Tuco Salamanca. I didn't have much to choose
from. It's Gail Boticu. Oh, yeah. Sucks for you.
Yep. Right. Let's see. I will go Temper, 44.
Oh, you win. 27. Ted Beneke. Ah, Jack Welker
beat Ted. Okay. Hank Schrader. Who shall I pick
for you, Hank Schrader? Or shall I make it interesting?
I'll go interesting. Influence, 41. Oh, I've
got Jane, who choked on her own vomit. Jessie's
ex -girlfriend, 30. Right, okay. I mean, I could
have gone Family Values, which is like 89, but
I don't want to keep doing Family Values, you
know? I'd like to see what the other ones have
got. Okay. Temper, 41. Oh, 11. You win Saul Goodman.
Yeah. And I had Todd Alquist. Oh, the helper
that was an absolute lunatic. Yes. Okay. Bad,
22. Oh, you just beat me. 21. You get Jesse.
Victor beats Jesse on badness. Oh, that makes
sense. Only by like one point. Okay. Temper,
42. Oh, you win again. 30. Who have you got?
Andrea. I've got Crazy Eight. Narcotics Anonymous.
Okay, let's do something interesting. Influence,
42. Oh, you definitely win. I get one. That's
Wendy the Hooker. Skylar White. Right. Brains
13. Oh, you're going to win this. Where is it?
Top one. Just by looking at the character, I
knew you were going to win this. It's Badger.
Oh, poor Badger. Okay, last card. Well, last
time we've had those, I think you had Badger,
I had Skinny Pete. Weirdly. And we both played
those cards against each other. You've got Skinny
Pete next. Skinny Pete is my last card. I'm going...
Family values, 40. Oh, I'm going to win that
card off you. 91. I've got Marie Schrader. Nice.
You did a good job. Right. You've easily won.
I've got four cards there. Yeah. So I've taken
six cards off of you. No, I've taken eight cards
off of you. If you've got four, because two of
them are yours and two of them are mine. Yeah.
Right, you win either way. Good game. Thanks,
Top Tramps. Same result as last time, though.
It is the same. Look, I beat you twice at one
game, but anyone will not believe me that it
was two times beating is only going to be a singular
thrashing, I'm afraid, because the other is not
in evidence. I can attest that. Both times you
played Top Tramps, you've beaten me. Oh, that's
very generous of you. Thank you. Fucked who was
on the blog of a deck of cards. Likely used.
.co .uk. I was just very aware I'm ending every
segment with that. The photos on the blog, mate.
Which is going to look at bloody photos on fucking
blog. I've worked so hard to get that website
up and running and DJ does all this shouting
background shit. The least you can do is go and
check on me link. We're going to say that in
the outro and this is the very last thing Ed
will say as part of the outro. It's repeating
ourselves. Be warned, ladies, gentlemen, and
all of those in between who identify however
they choose, furry or otherwise. I have brought
you Dentist Jokes by Chester Croker. And I am
sorry. I don't think that's his real name. I
have to be honest. I think the word joke is implied
heavily within inverted commas for much of the
content of this book. Yeah, we'll be the judge
of that. I mean, it's not even very long. But
I think Chester Choker is a slightly better name.
His friends call him Chester the Jester or Croker
the Joker. He has no friends to call him that.
Apparently they're all dentists. Okay, so Dentist
Jokes, the ultimate collection of dental jokes
published by Glowworm Press by Chester Croker.
Jokes for dentists. We know that visiting your
dentist isn't always a barrel of laughs and being
a dentist can be tough, but we can still give
you plenty to smile about. Ha ha ha. We have
many pearls of wisdom to share with you, so brace
yourself for plenty of laughs in this bumper
collection of dentist jokes. No, you can't make
me brace myself. I won't. Okay, don't be braced.
It might hurt. Disclaimer. All rights reserved,
no part of this publication may be reproduced
in any form or by any means without the written
permission of the publisher. The information
herein is offered for informational purposes
only and is universal as so. The presentation
of the information is without contract or any
type of guarantee assurance under no circumstances
would any legal responsibility or blame be held
against the author for any reparation damages
or monetary loss due to the information herein
either directly or indirectly. The disclaimer
in the book is better than any of the actual
content. Yeah. Should I read the... I'm not going
to read the foreword. I'm just going to tell
you what sections there are in the book because,
believe it or not, there's seven. There's seven
sections in a joke book for dentists. Ugh. Right.
Chapter one, introduction. Chapter two, one line
of dentist jokes. Chapter three, question and
answer dentist jokes. Chapter four, short dentist
jokes. Chapter five... longer dentist jokes uh
chapter six uh dentist pickup lines which i will
read you some of and i warn you now it may make
you vomit so grab yourself a bucket and chapter
seven is bumper stickers for dentists so let's
just have a quick random page opening okay there's
not even any page numbers in this uh i went to
the dentist for some root canal work and i am
afraid to say i lost my nerve a book never written
but really should be pain management by nova
kane question what does a dentist do on a roller
coaster answer he braces himself it's already
been that joke has already been The bracing of
oneself has already been used several times before
I got to a joke with the actual brace word in
it. Question. What did the grizzly bear eat after
he'd had his teeth taken out? Answer. The dentist.
Right. I'm skipping the longer ones. Let's go
to some pick -up lines. Everybody... Sitting
in comfortably. Strapped in. Stick your tongue
out, father, for me. Why don't you lie back and
let me fill your cavities? Hello there. It looks
like you've got a hole that needs filling. What
year was this book? I don't know. That's a good
question, actually. I don't know. It was printed
by Amazon. Oh, so it's not from the 70s then?
No, this is a very, very recent. Okay, here's
another gross one. I'd like to drill you and
fill you. Be with me and you can be struck by
whitening. Fucking hell. If anyone has ever used...
Okay, I'm about to say two things, one of which
I may regret. If anyone's ever used any of these
lines, you should be fully ashamed of yourself.
If you are not someone who has used one of these
lines, but you are planning on going out and
picking up somebody, if you can prove to me that
you have used one of these lines in your pickup
attempt successful or not, I may or may not send
you a tenner. I'd like to rinse and repeat with
you. Did you know that semen contains zinc and
calcium, both of which are proven to prevent
tooth decay? Charming. It's not making actual
toothpaste out of cum though, are they? No. If
you were polishing a disc, you'd be super fan.
Fuck. These are awful. Yeah. Oh, and the last,
the last pickup line, the greatest of them all,
which I can only imagine Donald Trump will be
sad that he's never thought to use himself. Lie
back and let me do a detailed cavity search.
They let you grab them by the tonsils when you're
famous. Gross. And I'm not even going to bother
with the bumper stickers because everything else
is so shit. This is literally the shittest book.
I've been talking about it for seven minutes
and that is already more time than Chester Croker
deserves. He is a real person. I forgot there's
a photo of him on the back. Well, it's not a
photo. It's an illustration. Claiming to be him.
Chester Croker, I'm very sorry. But you, sir,
are not amusing. That's one time I hope something's
actually AI, this entire book. Fingers crossed.
Chats, GBT, make a book about dentist jokes.
Yeah. It's a shit book. Also, from the car boot
sale, the same place that the two pin badges
came from, the book cost me a pound. Different
lady was selling it. Don't let that book put
you off that car boot sale. There were quality
items there. There were quality items there.
The book wasn't one of them. This might have
to be... The first item we've ever burnt after
a show? Well, you're reading my mind to a certain
degree. Remember before how I said Blobby needed
to be burnt and buried and never seen again?
This might have to be like the kindling for Blobby.
Because I still have Blobby. We need to go down
to the beach and do a ritual offering. Yeah,
I'm going to look into this. That's something
we can do in our month off. Oh yeah, we can film
it and entertain everybody. Yeah, the KLF burnt
a million quid. We're going to burn the Mr. Blobby
doll in the joke book. KLF. In the name of art.
No, not art. He's a bastard. Thank you very much
for listening once again. Now, we're going to
be taking a bit of a break and going monthly
for a while because I need a few weekends to
sort some stuff out. Yeah, it's been... We've
had a really good year of recording, but podcasting
has taken over everything. So we are kind of
a little bit lacking in some areas of our lives,
like maybe there's cobwebs in the corners of
our rooms and the curtains haven't been done.
You know, there was no spring cleaning done this
year or, you know, you and I have not been out
and just had a fun weekend somewhere for the
sake of it. It's all podcast related. Work, work,
work. Yeah. So we're both taking a little bit
of a break. But it's not a permanent thing. We're
not going anywhere. We're not dying. We shall
remain. And if we get to a point where we'd like
to come back and do fortnightly, we will. Except
at the moment, I've got friends, good friends,
I've not seen in over a year. I just haven't
had the time to catch up with you. So for the
next little while, we'll be going monthly. We've
got some adventures planned in the Tetmobile.
A few things, some irons in the fire. Yes, absolutely.
And we need to record them before somebody else
goes and takes that idea. Adam's archive? No,
we can't play stuff off the mini -disc that I've
done years ago. Now that idea's been taken. We
were faffing around too long before we got this
bloody desk to put it in. Also, some news. Friend
of the show, James Pickford, he's been doing
his own podcast, Super A to Z. He's gaming his
way alphabetically through all the SNES titles.
Four episodes as time of recording? Yeah, I think
he's done four. You haven't got too many to catch
up on, and look at that. Excellent. And we're
not even really gamers. No, excellent quality,
lovely audio. James is hilarious. I really like
listening to him and I chat to him a little bit
as well outside. Link in the blog. Yeah. Please
go and find him and show him your love because
he's definitely worth it. I've got to find a
better way of ending these links. Pictures on
the vlog, yeah. Internet things, we've got social
media. Yeah, we've got all that, yeah, yeah.
You guys know, like, obviously, unless this is
the first episode you've ever listened to. In
which case, go to lightlyused .co .uk. Episode
two might be a better place to start. Yeah. That's
the first Johnny Turnip. That's true, that's
true. They missed the start of Nessie. And the
audio quality has improved over time. I think
it was episode four we've actually... sorted
out the recordings yeah anyway we are part of
the studio channel 84 network home to the variety
show the untitled sci -fi show who takes the
socks off socks on off their minisode series
and the land before prime the five minute movie
review podcast focusing on physical media and
current cinema releases find us all at channel
84 dot co dot uk listen share tell a friend and
make sure they all listen as well and also send
them James's way for super a to z please do right
next episode you'll hear from us in two weeks
time will be a turnip tales we're off for a bit
back on September the 27th thanks for listening
bye night night everyone night night Adam and
Karen have been lightly used Visit lightlyused
.co .uk for more. To get in touch, email pod
at lightlyused .co .uk. Oh, Mush, do you know
what time it is? What time is it? It's not tat
in a box time. We just done that a few minutes
ago. Oh, is it time to go home? No, we are, well,
technically you are at home already. No, it is
time for a bibliotap. Oh, it's a bit before that
time. Yes, a bit before bedtime. But after the
other time. I mean, we always record after bedtime,
but also before bedtime. It depends on which
direction you're looking. But it's between the
times. It's between the time of we started, but
not the end time of the show. We're in the in
-between times. Right. So, bibliotap. This was
a Studio Channel 84 network show. To find more,
head over to channel84 .co .uk now.