Right, let's see if we can make this a really
quick episode 28, because there could be outside
noises starting up again at any minute. There's
been a full three minutes of, as soon as we press
record, plane, plane, more plane, next door banging,
just after next door had stopped banging, started
banging again, right, there's a gap between it,
so before they put the telly on again, we're
going to try and get this episode out. Yeah,
crack as much out of the way as we can. This
is Lightly Used. With Adam and Karen. Welcome
to Lightly Used episode 28. I'm Adam. And I'm
Karen. And I've taken antihistamines against
the recommended powder to take. I was not going
to mention that. It hasn't worked so far. This
is a second attempt at doing the show. We had
to stop the first one for me to do a horrible
noise with my nose. I also wasn't going to tell
anyone that. No, house lied to me. Hay fever
is a bitch. I thought it would work quicker so
we could do the show because I forgot to take
it earlier. And it hasn't worked at all. So if
my voice changes several times throughout the
episode, we've stopped so I can unblock my face,
essentially. Apologies in advance. He's such
a terrible mess, ladies and gentlemen, and everyone
in between. I'm lying. He's really not. I'm doing
my best. I've got to apologise to Simon and Ross
as well. When I was doing my thank yous on the
birthday list... Honestly, I had too many scraps
of paper and notes so I was strewn about the
place. They invited us to be the first guests
on their mini -sode Socks On or Off. They did.
I forgot to say thank you. Thank you, thank you,
thank you. Again, because we did thank you ages
ago, but thank you again. Yeah. I was looking
back and I... This is what we've got to be thankful
for this year. Yeah. Lightly used Thanksgiving
in July. Bit of the show. Birthday thanks. Yeah.
Cheers, guys. I'm sorry. But, you know, in my
defence, you get a title out of me, so. Oh, also,
I introduced Karen to Tropic Thunder today. Oh,
my God. You absolutely did. And I thoroughly
enjoyed it. What did you make of the cast? Genius.
I did not know. that Tom Cruise was in that movie.
And considering how much scene time he actually
gets, and even after they put his name up on
the end credits with him in character, I was
like, that's not Tom Cruise. How is that Tom
Cruise? I still kind of don't believe that it's
Tom Cruise, but apparently it's Tom Cruise. There
were a couple of shots, even with the prosthetics
and the Lane Grossman stubble and everything.
I thought, oh, you're going to be able to tell
us. I didn't want to say, I thought, oh, you're
going to definitely get a no from that. But I
thought, well, you haven't said anything. I wouldn't
say anything. I wouldn't say anything. I didn't
know anything at all about Tom Cruise. And Robert
Downey Jr., the only time he looks like Robert
Downey Jr. in the entire movie is when he walks
into the heroin farm with his hat on. In disguise.
And in disguise, his hat on, and he's got a mask
up over his nose. So literally you can only see
his eyes and mascara. And I was like, oh yeah,
look, it's Robert Downey Jr. They've done a really
good job of hiding him too. The prosthetics on
that movie, genius. Whoever worked on those did
a stellar, stellar job. I really enjoyed the
pyrotechnics, like the effects, especially with
Ben Stiller running across the bridge at the
end. Spoilers. Danny McBride was excellently
cast as well. Yeah, I thoroughly enjoyed it.
I didn't know what to make of it. I gave you
nothing going in, and it opened with the fake
adverts as well. Yes. Didn't skip any of them.
Yeah, I thought that was really cool with the
fake trailers at the start. Devil's Alley, I
really want to watch. Satan's Alley. Satan's
Alley, sorry, yeah. I want that to be a real
movie. I want to watch that one. It was great.
In addition to some of the close -ups, just in
sort of profile of Tom Cruise's head from just
the side and back, I thought, well, it's going
to give way. The absolute intensity of his swearing
acting might have given it away. Honestly, I
did not twig at all that it was Tom Cruise. And
actually, the entirety of his time on screen,
I was trying to think of who he reminded me of.
And I was like, this is a specific actor that
looks like this, but they've been chunked up.
They're wearing a bodysuit and they're extra
hairy. But the face... I think only Paul Giamatti
could have done it otherwise. Maybe that's who
I'm thinking of. I don't know. But whoever it
was reminded me of someone and I thought it was
maybe them, but they'd just been like chunked
up for the role. Honestly, I mean, I'm thick
as shit, clearly. Awesome chess wigs. And hand
wigs. Like, you know, the perfect end of the
hair just below the knuckle. His requests to
the film were... Chef's kiss. He went fat hands
and to dance. I mean, he does dance well. He
really does dance well. I'm impressed. Especially
for a white guy. If he did the full -on scissor
hands running. Oh, there we go. There we go.
His big fat arms. Knees getting up. Let's see.
That's what would give him ways, Tom Cruise.
Yeah. Tropic Thunder. Oh. I'm really glad you
popped my sherry on that one. I really enjoyed
it. It was great. I'm going to nominate that
as your first film to review for The Land Before
Crime. Oh, I thought you were going to do that
one. Okay. Well, the thing is, I guess we can
do different reviews of it. It'll be different
people's versions of it. That's true, but would
it be a bit boring to have, unless we did like
two and a half minutes each and then mashed them
together? going to be for people to download
either one I suppose I'm sure that was in the
group chat and said yeah it can be over that
because it's different people's takes on it yeah
that's true as all reviewers are I'm guessing
maybe not release them too close to each other
or right next to each other yeah I suppose we
should explain and we can compete for downloads
we should explain what the Land Before Prime
is We absolutely should. The Land Before Prime
is the newest addition to the Channel 84 family.
It is. It's the five -minute film review, primarily
focused around physical media and current cinema
releases. Yes, no streaming allowed, unless it's
a case of, I know I owned this DVD 17 years ago,
but I've moved six times since then and flogged
a lot of shit. So is it all right if I watch
this on Netflix or something similar? And then
review it because I did used to own it and I
did see it in the cinema. Does that count? TJ
said it counted. In that case, we can use those.
Sorry about the farting noises. I'm particularly
squeaky on the chair today. That's all right.
It masks the bus going by at exactly the same
time. Oh, lovely. You can hear my back farting
against the chair instead of a bus going past.
Delightful. And because we've carried on talking,
I don't think I can edit either one out. Busted.
Says me right for being there. How dare you get
comfortable. I know. That'll teach you. It will.
That'll learn me good time. Coming up on the
show today, we've got slightly used news. Johnny
Turnip has Excalibur in his hands. He does. We
try and guess what each other's mystery items
are in Tat in the Box. We have a game, and I
will attempt the bibliotata I've been putting
off. Really? I've not read any more of it. It's
only been three episodes in the waiting. Although
those... Two episodes before were about an hour
long, so... Yeah, we really didn't need it, yeah.
I talked so much. You didn't need a book review
and top of that, even if I had prepared it. No.
So I think that's a get -out -of -jail -free
guy. Yeah, yeah, I think we did all right for
the time. We made up for content. No one's told
us it was shit, but that might mean no one's
listening. This is the final instalment of the
Once and Future Kings saga. Let's find out what
happens. Abigavenny Man claims he stopped King
Arthur's corpse from being dug up by aliens.
From the Abigavenny Chronicle by Tim Butters
on Monday 19th August 2024. And Abigavenny Man
claims he not only stopped alien lifeforms from
digging up King Arthur's corpse and defiling
it, but... He also turned his back on a golden
opportunity to rule the world, just because he
didn't need the aggro. After alleging that he
and his friends discovered the final resting
place of the once and future king and had retrieved
Excalibur from Tredegar Reservoir, semi -professional
paranormal investigator Johnny Turnip told the
Chronicle he was accosted by men in beige suits
who were actually extraterrestrials who'd been
plotting to rule the world for centuries. Look,
a little like your average dickhead, explained
Turnip. But they're actually from space, and
they have one goal. To establish a global community
council and enslave us all. Turnip added, If
a manager beat me and the boys in a fair fight
and steal Excalibur, it would have been the endgame
for humanity as we know it. They plan to use
Excalibur to dig up King Arthur's corpse and
kill it. Fortunately, just before me, Puerto
Rico Paul and Fast Eddie prepared to go down
in one last glorious stand that Eminem probably
would have written a best -selling rap ballad
about. Big Tony. Turned up on a Shire horse.
Turnip added, Earlier in the quest, Torn had
quit because he didn't trust in my vision anymore.
He can be homonal at times, so I didn't pay much
mind. But apparently, when he got back to Ebba,
he was plagued by a bad feeling that his mates
were in trouble. So he jumped back into his Bedford
rascal, hult -footed down to the heads of the
valleys. Only trouble is, he broke down just
outside Ebbu Vale. However, Torn's a resourceful
type, and after borrowing a Shire horse from
a field, He travelled the rest of the way to
Tredegar in his stolen steed. Imagine that surprise
when Big Tony turned up in horseback at the last
minute, brandishing a baseball bat and yelling,
BANZAI YOU BASTARDS! In his classic red Adidas
tracksuit and Wales FA bucket hat, he looked
every inch a knight of the modern age. The fact
he was blasting out Beyoncé's end of time with
a portable Bluetooth speaker he had strapped
on his back didn't even seem weird. Tones always
had a strange choice in fighting songs and certainly
rattled the aliens. They were expecting a walkover,
but they didn't count on the mad bastard from
the Mardi riding a horse, playing queen bee and
screaming blue murder. As tone charged, the men
in beige couldn't hold their line or their nerve.
They pedalled away furiously on their electric
bikes, and as the crappy electric motors kicked
in, I waved Excalibur at their backs and yelled,
This is for Arthur, you Martian flyboys! Dramatic.
That's one nil to humanity! Screamed Puerto Rico
Paul as he high -fived Fast Eddie. Where's that
treacherous, tall JFK Jones? I asked. He's one
of them now, said Paul. They've corrupted him
with their multidimensional nonsense. He was
a good man, I sighed solemnly. Let's remember
him for who he was, and not the motherless piece
of crap he later became. As we all bowed our
head in silence, and tried to remember something
positive about the rat who once called himself
our friend, I gazed in wonder at Excalibur. After
all my manifest trials and tribulations, I finally
had the means to resurrect King Arthur and rule
the world as his second -in -command. Yeah, to
be honest, it all seemed like a lot of unnecessary
aggro. I'd have to return to Dunraven Bay, plunge
it into a rock and hopefully free the once -and
-future king, and looking at Excalibur, which
resembled the rusty old samurai I saw from the
1990s, a little bit too much for my liking. I
wasn't sure if it would just snap in half as
soon as it hit Solid Rock. As far as weapons
go, it did look very epic. Even if I managed
to free King Arthur, as old as the possibility,
he could be a dickhead. I mean, you've been sleeping
for over a thousand years, I need to be walking
up a bunch of men in tracksuits and join you
to fight some aliens and rule the country again.
What sort of mood would you be in? Also, if I
had to be second in command, which I should imagine
it's pretty much a full -time job, something
I've always strenuously avoided. As I keep telling
my job coach, if I don't get enough Netflix and
beer time during the week, I can get a bit neurotic.
Turnabout it. Looking at Excalibur, I finally
made my decision. And, just as I went to hurl
the Sword of Destiny back into Tredegar Azua,
Puerto Rico Paul went to grab it, but as soon
as he touched it, he let out a scream and fell
to his knees. I can't move my hand! He screamed.
Paul's left hand had gone completely limp at
the wrist. Every time he went to move it, it
just flopped back down limplessly. What sort
of strange magic is this? growled Big Tony. The
sword is cursed, JT. Throw the thing back into
the water and be done with it. As I threw Excalibur
skywards, I'm sure I saw what suspiciously looked
like a false widow jump from it. Nanny Anna Horrorshow
Turnip used to breed them and plant them in bananas
at supermarkets, until she was caught on CCTV
one time and told to behave. Turnip told the
Chronicle, As the sword we'd spent so long searching
for finally splashed into the water, I was sure
I saw a hand call up to grab it, but for some
reason it was wearing those fingerless neon green
gloves that were big in the 80s. It freaked me
out a little, but no one else seemed to notice
anything untoward. Big Tony had gone into a heated
argument with Fast Eddie about who would win
in a race between Usain Bolt and Sonic the Hedgehog.
Meanwhile, Pedro de Capullo was sat gazing at
his limp wrist and mourning about how he'd never
be able to hold a microphone and do a Simon Le
Bon tribute act again. I said, Trust me, Paul.
It'll get better. Maybe not tomorrow. Maybe not
next month, or maybe not even next year, but
one morning, you'll wake up and have the use
of both ends again. This seemed to console him,
and As he softly started singing Rio by Duran
Duran, we all joined in the chorus and turned
our heads to the heavens. Singing tunelessly
together and without a care in the world, we
looked at the first stars of the evening appear
in the sky like pinpricks in the curtain of light.
And, as we stood side by side, with our arms
flung around one another's shoulders, I realised
what I'd been searching for was already there.
There was a King Arthur spirit inside every one
of us. No. It was the great king's spirit of
individualism, resistance, defiance and courage
in the face of overwhelming odds that mattered.
Let his final resting place or some rusty old
sword. As the boys broke off Singareo and Puerto
Rico Paul began doing an enthusiastic rendition
of Hungry Like the Wolf while using his limp
wrist like a stage prop, Fast Eddie pulled out
a crate of lager from the boot of his mini and
grinned. It was going to be a great night. All
these stories and more have been compiled by
Tim Butters in his book, The Manifest Trials
and Tribulations of Johnny Turnip. And you'll
find a link in the show blog for this episode
at lightlyused .co .uk. It's time for my favourite
segment. It's your favourite segment. It's everybody's
favourite fucking jingle. It's time for... I
was sounding really confident then and he was
laughing. at me you bastard it's everyone's favourite
it's your favourite jingle it is your favourite
jingle everybody's favourite jingle and you will
listen to it and enjoy it it's your favourite
you make me do it every episode so yeah sorry
people tat in the box tat in the box tat in the
box tat in the box tat in the box tat in the
box Tight in the box. Well done. Your turn to
guess first. Yes, we're trying to work out because
usually we base it on who brings the book. And
we've thrown this all out of cock. We're not
even recording in order of segments. We can't
remember back two weeks ago. No. Even though
we've got our notes in front of us. I'll put
mine away. Oh, fair enough. Okay, are you ready
to guess? Yes. My eyes are closed. My hands are
out. Oh, cheeky. The filthiest segment of Lightly
Used. Now, I will preface... Because of you.
Because of me? Do you ever listen back to this
segment? I don't know what you're talking about.
I'm a charming young woman of refined and...
Single entendres all the way. I don't know what
you mean, you filthy, dirty boy. Right, you ready?
I'll prerequisite this with, it makes a noise
and you may recognise it from the noise, but
I don't know. So here we are. That was the box
falling down the wall. My eyes are closed. My
hands have been out all this whole time. It is.
Just in case I... Equidistant between your two
hands. It's a plastic object. It is plastic.
It feels rectangular. It was a nubbing sort of
thing at one end. I just... You're rubbing my
nubbin? Grazing my nubbin with your eyes closed,
you filth. With a ball of my hand. Oh, weird.
That's it. Do hands have balls? I thought they
had palms. A bit. Because you have feet balls.
Well, I thought it was just that bit. Your thumb
sort of joins. Is that not the... Oh, yeah, there
was a nubbin sticking up. Is it one of the...
Oh, hang on. He's trying to figure out what all
the nubbins do. He's literally touching up every
single nubbin to find out what it does. I almost
went in too early with my guess. It might be
what I thought it was. That's the noise that
I thought might give it away. I'm feeling all
bits which aren't helping. That's a battery slot
if that helps. Is it made by Tomy? Yes. I can't
remember the name of it. You literally just said
it. ARC. I can't remember the name of it. It's
called ARC. ARC. I can't remember the name of
it. But I don't enunciate well. Yeah, it's Tomy.
It's Tomy. Yeah. ARC. It was upside down. Yeah,
it was upside down. so this is one of the collection
of handheld game machines that tommy created
in the 70s and the 80s let me put it down to
it's not making a noise yeah i will play with
it otherwise i did bring a battery uh it is there
if you want to have a play i'll wait till you
finish talking about it it's not in perfect working
order However, I did find an engineer lady on
YouTube randomly who was fixing one that she'd
bought that was broken. So I'm going to go back
and watch that video to see if I can pull it
apart and figure out, because this first blue
bit doesn't turn all the way around. Anyway,
this is... Oh, I won't have a go in that casing.
If I start having a go, I... You won't break
it any more than it's already broken. It might
be repairable if I do. Anyway, this is the Tomi...
...machine... Exclamation. ...named... I guess
because it's so frustrating that that is the
noise that you tend to make most when you're
actually playing it. It's sort of... There is
another noise in there, though. Is there? Oh,
a few when you get to the end. Yeah. Phew. That's
not what I'd be saying. I'd be like, where's
the bloody beer? I heard this. Yeah. It's basically
like a handheld... Miniature screwball scramble,
I guess, in your hand. The idea is that you run
ball bearings through a maze of obstacles. You
go from the top to the bottom. If you fall off
the obstacle, you have to go back to the start,
either with that same ball bearing or you've
got a little collection of them at the top. You
can let them drop one at a time. Made in the
70s and 80s. I think this is a 1980 model, which
means it is exactly the same age as me. And for
those of you that are good at maths, congratulations
to you. Like I say, it is still ticking, but
not working entirely. This was a Swansea car
boot sale find for a Fiverr, which I thought,
on a gamble, for something that's the same age
as me and has a lot of feelings about it for
a certain generation, I thought a Fiverr is worth
a punt. It doesn't seem outlandish. No. It's
one of those... it's whatever you're prepared
to spend on it sort of things yeah and like you
know like the conversation we were having earlier
we don't buy things to sell them we buy them
because we have an interest in them yeah and
to be honest even if it worked in perfect order
it would still spend 99 .9 % of its time on my
tat shelves so it doesn't matter yeah it doesn't
yes it's a it's like a trophy find you're right
yes it is So yeah, I don't really care that it's
not in perfect working order. You can get round
it, but I've gotten as far as this twisty turning
magnet bit and failed every time beyond there.
But I like what you said about it being before
a computer game. Yeah. It is a combination of
some sort of tabletop. Playing game and maybe
an arcade game. Yes. In your pocket. Yeah. At
the end of terms, you'd be king of the fucking
school with that. Oh, yeah, 100%. Or at least
your class. I mean, I think these came out...
Or queen. Maybe. With a K or a Q. A queen or
a queen. I guess if you're royalty, you can choose.
I guess so. A bit like birthday. I think these
came out... after the Pocketeers, which were
a much more simple version of the same sort of
concept. There was no mechanics in them, no...
you know no clock windy bits and pieces ticking
but it was a maze where you got ball bearings
through or there was other ones where you had
like rings and and purely tilting and squirty
water things yeah whereas this you very much
have to play it on a flat surface because the
first time i tried playing it i tried playing
it like a game boy and holding it up which of
course as soon as you release The ball bearing
at the top. They all just drop straight down.
And I was like, oh, okay. So it is a tabletop.
It's a handheld tabletop flat surface game. Yeah.
But yeah, I love it. It's great. In America,
this was called Trip Over Traps or Tricky Traps.
I found a couple of videos about those. ebay
prices vary cheapest for a broken unboxed is
about a fiver so what i've paid but with like
more obvious things wrong with them like missing
connectors in the battery section and things
like that to the i've put cheapest broken five
pound richest boxed 119 pounds at least that's
what they're asking yeah and the average is about
30 to 40 sort of selling asking price on ebay
but like i say with all of the things that i
buy i only spend money on things that i'm happy
to have just to look at if they function then
that's even better and i know some people will
be like oh my god you're such a weirdo why are
you buying a game if you don't even care if it
works or whatever but you know what it's my tat
collection and if it doesn't work i don't care
also mind your business yeah my tat my biz yeah
that's my that's my How do you work the twisty
bit? So you have to put the battery in the back
of the machine. Oh, they would automatically
move that. Oh, okay, I see. I don't know if the
timer is... Because it's obviously got the windy
timer -y bit. I think it gives you about a minute,
but I think there may be something caught up
in there because as soon as you put the battery
in, everything starts making noises. So there's
no on off button. And the only thing that I like
screwball scramble, the only thing that really
controls any mechanical parts, not that there
is much on a screwball scramble is the clock.
Yeah. So they're obviously all, yeah, they're
all connected. So there's something going on
on the inside between the timer and this first
blue cheesy disc. that are not quite right but
it's it's good fun definitely stick a photo of
this on the blog the only things i can see apart
from obviously mechanically you say it's not
working the only defects are the age related
just there's a little bit of bubbling from there
just a little bit of and i think at some point
somebody's put some tape over it to prep i'm
guessing package it when they'd be moving house
or something to keep it intact because It's in
incredible condition. It really is. The colours
are really bright on it. Look at the red pop
on that. I mean, it's clearly never been kept
in a window or anywhere near any direct sunlight.
No. I mean, maybe this front sticker is a bit
bleached and the yellow around the top sticker,
but I think it's been kept out of sight, out
of mind. It's 45 years old. You can still tell
it's yellow stickers. Yeah. Yeah, no, that's
awesome. Yeah, I love it. That's going to take
some beating. Like many people that like Tomys,
if I see more, I shall gather. It's your turn.
Okay. Okay, right. Close your eyes, put your
hands out. They are closed and my hands are open
and on the table. Here's a box for menaging.
Oh, quelle surprise. It sounds heavy. Oh, I could
have been acting. You could have been Mr. Actor.
Is it like a grande dame? Or a petit flou. Okay,
it's equidistant between your hands. All right,
taking my words off me. It was a good sounding
word. I know, it is. It's nice to say. Darling.
Grasp the bulb firmly. I'll just give it away.
This feels very much like... I'll wait for you
to touch it. Have a good feel of it first. Yeah.
It is large. It has wire. Springy wire. I've
just hit the microphone. Sorry about that. That...
I just hit the microphone again. Sorry about
that. Nobody listens for ASMR. Good job, really.
Got the wrong mics for that. This is a car charger
plug. Yep. And this is either a blue light or
a red light or an orange light. Yes. Is it magnetic?
Can you stick it on your roof? Oh, my God. Is
this off your new van? No. Oh, is it not? No.
Well, it's a safety light of the orange variety
with the cigarette lighter plug and a stretchy
cord. Yep. Quite an old one. Ooh! Ooh, it is!
Britax PMG Limited. That's one of the old safety
triangle things on the very top that's mostly
worn out. Oh, yeah. Dirtied out. I'm guessing
from the heat of the bulb. That is... So cool.
That's an orange, roof -mounted, amber rotating
warning beacon. In 1939, Yorkshire metallurgist
Philip Metcalfe Godfrey Thorpe. Good name. Excellent
name. He began producing vehicle wiring and electrical
equipment on a kitchen table in Leeds. And he
founded the company PMG Thorne. A bit easier
to say. And land was developed around his home
for production facilities. And they relocated
to Bridlington in the early 60s. Oh, nice. Factory
is still based there today. Cheaper rent in Brid.
By the mid -70s, the company was bought by Britex
and renamed Britex in brackets PMG. It's now
part of some multinational, I think, what was
it called? Eco group? Eco groups? I can't remember.
But they still make light bars and beacons. Plus,
probably since the 70s, Britex is more well -known
for making child safety seats for cars. Oh, right.
And I acquired this. maybe five years ago acquired
i've tried it out and moving on um i've said
what i've said does it work i it didn't work
properly from what i remember uh i can't remember
what was wrong whether it either i remember it
did light up whether there was just one flash
and that was it uh i can't remember whether the
beacon rotated or it just lit up and didn't rotate
uh Yeah, there's something not right with it.
This plug doesn't seem as old as the rest of
it. Well, I took that adapter apart to check
to see was there a fuse issue or something or
what was the rating on the fuse. I couldn't quite
get it back together properly, as you can see.
I'll need to spend a little bit more time in
an emptier room where if the spring shoots out,
I'll find it easy. This is a fantastic thing.
I didn't even know you had this. No, I've been
keeping this off -site. Oh, that is cheeky. So
where am I going to keep it? I really, I really
rate that. That is a fine piece of kit. After
the show, we'll plug it in the Tatmobile. We'll
try it out. We'll see if it works. We'll see
if it works. And then if it doesn't, you can
just put your light bars on and give those a
flash just to satisfy me. I was happy to give
you a flash. Oh, excellent. Told you this segment
was fun. Dear Lord. Oh dear. It's been a little
while since we've recorded us playing a game.
It has been a little while and I can tell it's
been a little while because I am not enthusiastic
about this and I really thought I would be. I
never am enthusiastic about the game segments.
What have you brought for the episode? I have
brought Burton's. Jammy Dodgem's Game, an exciting
and original game of skill and chance for two
to six players, fun for everyone from eight to
80. I was just having a look on the inside to
see if I could find out when it was made. Very
specifically prohibitive age range. I can't see
a date of manufacture on here. Is there anyone?
No, no idea. It looks maybe late 70s, early 80s.
Yeah, quite possibly. I wonder if it says on
eBay that I got it from. I was going to ask also
where you got it from. It is an eBay purchase.
I've had it a little while and it only hasn't
come up because I've got so many other games
now that it's really difficult to choose. Was
there anything on the back of the other bit of
box? No, I've checked. So it cost me altogether...
£10 .20, £3 .20 postage, £0 .16 fat and £6 .84
for the game itself. What was the grand total,
sorry? £10 .20. We'll see if it's worth it while
we give it a quick run through. We will. We've
given the rules a quick read through and it seems
like it's really aimed at more than just two
players. Yeah. We're adapting a two player mode.
One of us, sorry, the aim of the game is, well,
the version that we'll be playing is one player
has to get to the other end of the board without
their three lives being taken by the other dodger.
It's a grid of 74 squares. Some of them have
got jammy splodges on. Some of them have got
chance cards, chance... last things aren't they
some of them you pick up a chance card sorry
i need to cough oh that was unpleasant some of
the squares have got jammy spots some of the
squares you pick up a chance card one player
is the danger dodger it is a dodgems sort of
game and the idea is that that person playing
the danger dodger takes the lives of the Jemmy
Dodgers playing in the other dodgems, trying
to get from one end of the board to the other.
Yes. Each player has three lives, and if the
Danger Dodger is on the same square as the player,
the Danger Dodger steals two lives from the player.
If the Danger Dodger is on a square adjacent
to the player, except a diagonal! They were very,
very insistent in the rules. Then you take one
life. And I think I'm going to be playing the
Danger Dodger first. I have to write down how
many squares, or write down the number of the
square that I will be moving to. And I'm allowed
to make five moves. And I'm not allowed to move
onto any of the gemmy squares. But I can move
through the chance ones, but I can't stay on
them. And I think you, as the player, you get
to move three squares. I have written down a
square that I will be moving to. Okay, what square
are you starting from? Oh, sorry. As per the
rules, I start on square 29. Karen gets to start
outside of the board, and you get to move three
squares in any direction, except diagonal! Up
to three squares, as long as I move one. Yes.
Because you're there, I'm going to go from row
8. I can start at whichever row I want, can't
I? Yeah, I guess so, yeah. Okay, and I'm going
to go to number 15. Oh, close. I was going to
go to 13. I'll be moving. Right, there's a tactic
coming already. I'm thinking, he got more five
squares, I got more three. How far away can I
get? And am I safe? I have written down a number.
I don't know how interesting this will be to
listen to. One, two, three, four, five. I literally
can't escape you if you've written the right
number down. Yeah, yeah. Actually, I can escape
you. I can overshoot. I can go on a chance square
if you can't. But will it be good for you? I'm
going to the chance square. I can't go to the
chance square, so I'm going to 32. Fuck me, I
was close. We're bumper to bumper, babes. I get
a life off you because I'm right next to you.
And I've got to give you the highest value one,
haven't I? For some mystery reason, it doesn't
seem to make any difference. And I pick a chance
card, yes? Yes. Okay. My chance card reads, sudden
power surge. Move to square 48. There we go.
I'm on square 48. I'm almost five clear squares
away from you. I'm just checking some rules of
what I can and can't do. I can get a home in
two moves. This is going to be a very quick game.
You can get adjacent to me. That's the best I
can do. One, two, three. I move to number 60.
I move to 41. Oh my God, I'm so far away from
you. You're going to lose so bad. I guess I will
go to 66, 72 and then to the finish line. Yeah,
so it wouldn't matter what square I move to.
No, I think this is going to make... I couldn't
even get a light off you either. Yeah, this will
make more sense with more players. Yeah. Do you
want to do it the other way around where you
get to go top to bottom or do you want to quit
it because we haven't done a timer? I'm happy
to end there. Okay. Well then, you won. Yeah,
and I would like to say I prefer jam and creams
to jammy dodgers anyway. I brought that book
with me finally. We can do that final segment
of the show. You sure? Yeah, yeah. I've got to
finally get through it at some point. This is
the ITV Guide to Independent Television from
1974. Wow. And it's introduced by Brian Young,
the Director General of the Independent Broadcasting
Authority. The idea of the book, I think this
is more of the trade. Right. You wouldn't be
surprised to find out. But it was also available
to the public. And the version I've got is, it
does say in the front, there's a library edition
and a... The trade edition. Oh, okay. The public
version was 90 pence. And introduces it by, most
viewers are confused about who does what in independent
television. This is not surprising. I've got
no idea if he actually sounds like this. It sounds
lovely to me. For one thing, it is a courier
system, public and private, national and regional,
leading and following public tastes. We in the
authority happen to think it works pretty well.
Essentially, this was just after the authority
switched from being the ITA to the ITB, from
the Independent Television Authority to the Independent
Broadcasting Authority. And they've subsequently
switched to Ofcom. Right. Previously, they were
just in charge of television, but since becoming
the Broadcasting Authority... They're in charge
of what goes on on the radio as well. And during
this period, I've been completely, completely
biased. I did go to the Wales pages. There was
a switch over from black and white to colour,
but there was swathes of Wales still not covered
by any television signal because of the terrain.
There's big hills and a couple of mountains knocking
them out. The gist of the book essentially is
a review of pretty much... and say what we've
done over the past year in terms of all our programming
output there's examples of the spread of programs
going back to 1956 with the covering things like
news documentaries plays serials and what's that
entertainment and music taking up a big section
of it but then obviously the broadcasting hours
going up from just over 40 a week to just over
100 hours a week by the end of 1973 But a lot
of these segments of the book, it covers different
areas of broadcasting, like different advisory
bodies they report to, who they have to answer
to. One of the segments here about violence in
television programming. And it lays out the ITV
code about what's allowed and what they've decided,
what you can show, what I'm guessing the watershed
was featured very prominently in there. It talks
about the news, all the ITV, I'm guessing main
regional presenters at the time. Tells you what
they do for different regions in terms of different
types of programming, like dramas and things
they've got been very proud of, set photographs.
And going ahead, preschool programming. The past
year has seen the establishment of preschool
programs as a daily feature of ITV. Rainbow from
Thames. So this must have been one of the first
years that they'd taken on Rainbow as part of
the TV shows. And if you are a YouTube fan, I'm
guessing you've found us by Cheap Show. There's
no way you would have found us before them. They've
spoken very highly of Stuart Millard's channel
on YouTube. He is a genius. Highly recommended
by us as well. His essays and documentaries are
very, very worth watching. And quite a few of
them do cover Rainbow and also Salute. To Rod,
Jane and Freddie. Yeah. Definitely seek them
out if you've got the time. Skipping ahead, there's
a day in the life of a regional announcing team.
Oh, wow. This segment follows two continuity
announcers, Roger Shaw coming in, getting ready,
going on air, doing some continuity, writing
his script and also then going on to present
the evening news. So he gets from behind the
microphone, he's in vision. Before the end of
the day. And also one other of their continuity
announcers does their children's TV show as well.
The pretty lady with the blonde curls. And here
we go. Welsh programming. They've done the section
in Welsh. They have. Which is kind of surprising.
Early in the year, the authority published a
statement on the future of television programmes
in Wales. A document that contributed to the
continuing debate in contemporary Wales. on the
place of Welsh in television. A statement suggested
the most practical way at present to overcome
the problem would be to release the fourth channel
to the authority. S4C. Yep, this was 1974. I
think it was 1984 that S4C first came on air.
Wow, it took a decade to kick Welsh language
off the English TV channels. Or to finally sort
out enough coverage. Yeah. Now, one of the things
we've mentioned before from our childhood, public
service... Oh, PSAs. PSAs. Love a PSA. The programme
companies find time throughout the network for
about 20 ,000 transmissions each year of public
service films on health, safety, welfare, and
at no cost to the government departments concerned.
So they were obliged to put PSAs on the TV. I
haven't seen them for years. I used to love a
PSA. All those don't play with fireworks, don't
wear crinoline around sparklers, crossing the
road safety. Was it the hedgehogs that they used
for the road safety crossing? Yeah, the king
of the road. Yeah, king of the road. And then
there was Charlie and his little boyfriend. I
don't mean boyfriend, but he was a friend who
was a boy. He was a human boy. Charlie was a
cat. Ginger cat. Oh, Kenny Everett voice, yeah.
Charlie says... Made famous by the prodigy. Don't
take sweets from strangers. The scariest PSAs
were the don't mess with the junction boxes and
kids getting blown up and burnt to death on pylons.
I remember the one with the kids getting run
over by trains. What's the... Stillwater, the
one with death. No. What do they call it? Where
all the... Power lines, yes. Substation, yes.
I don't know. Don't go get your frisbee from
one of those. Yeah, leave your fish in your substation,
walk away, stay alive. There's a section as well,
getting the message across. How an advertisement
reaches the screen. For the big national advertiser
who wants to be seen on every television set
in the United Kingdom, advertising time can cost
as much... £6 ,500 for 30 seconds. Imagine the
expense to be on every TV. Prime time, 30 seconds,
six and a half grand. That's 1974 money. That's
not even new money. Half a minute in 12 homes
can cost just one pea. That's mad. Independent
television receives no part of the licence fee.
The cost of the service is met entirely from
advertising revenue. The majority of viewers
would rather have the advertising than stump
up another £3 or £4 a year extra on the licence
fees to pay for the programme. Oh, how fucking
topical! 1974, remember this? Like, 50 years
in the future from 50 years in the past. Still
having the same debates. ITV 1975. We hope that
you have found ITV 1974 both interesting and
useful as a reference book. We'd be glad to know
how far it meets your requirements and whether
you would like to see any specific changes in
next year's edition. Please send any comments
and changes to Eric Croston, Publications Editor,
Independent Broadcasting Authority. I won't give
the fellas rest. They might not be there anymore.
They might not be. Actually, that's a good find
because, like you say, it's not something that's
going to be on everybody's coffee table, is it?
One thing I do miss, though, is the regional
TV logos. It's going through the regions. You
can see this Yorkshire television, Westwood TV,
a nice blue Peter -looking TV logo. HTV. That's
our own Harlech television. Harlech. It looks
like a TV antenna, kind of, sort of. I guess
it kind of, sort of does, actually. That's what
I've always thought it was meant to look like.
But if you look at it from a wrong angle. I did
like, Granada had a good logo. Granada. A big
G with a cross on there. A scenario. Oh, sorry,
G with an arrow, sorry. It's a manly G. And...
Thames Television. Yeah. Anglia with a knight
on this spinny, roundy thing. That was also quite
a good logo. Yeah. Thames were the days back
when TV was choice and the choice was slim. Do
you know what? I like that book. It's a good
find. And, you know, it was worth the wait. £1
.50, Wales Air Ambulance Charity Shop. Try and
photocopy a couple of pages to stick on the blog.
That's a good idea. Likelyused .co .uk and you'll
find a blog entry for all our previous shows
on there as well. Indeed you will. That's us
done for another... I was going to say another
week. We're over a year in and I keep messing
this up. For another episode, thank you very,
very much for listening. 28 episodes. You can
find us all... Hang on a second. Yeah. Before
you carry on. Oh, social. Shit, sorry, yes. No,
no. What? So, Art, have you had a chance to have
a little catch up with him since the last episode?
I think it's very important that we say that
we're recording this on the 19th, the day our
birthday episode goes out. Yeah. We've got no
idea what he's been doing. Was recording this.
So we're in a bit of a time bubble. Because I
went to the studios. He wasn't there. No surprise.
Every person I saw there, I didn't see Rob or
anyone like that. They were all busy. Everybody
else didn't know what the fuck I was talking
about. Oh, my God. But Rob said he was the cleaner.
I thought he was somebody on computers or something
when I first met him there. You... No, you have.
Because you... I thought we were getting money.
You were the one that told me his name was Arthur.
Oh, yeah. Sorry. I thought you were going to
accuse me of being responsible for this AI bullshit.
I am not, mate. I'm a new witness. Thank you.
Christ. Because, you know, I honestly, I was
losing my fucking mind. Everyone who was asking
who I'm talking to, I was trying to describe
him, but I ended up feeling like... describing
Emmett in the fucking Lego movie. Mr. Everyone.
Yeah, he's, you know, you have to meet him. Yes.
And also not helpful describing, have you seen
this man? No, he wasn't there. Nobody seems to
know who the fuck he is or have any recollection,
even by his name. So does he? Arthur Grant. We
don't even know if he works there. Call him Art.
Nobody knows. Well, Rob said he was a cleaner,
so... Good point. Again, we could be talking
about completely different people now. You're
the only other person who's seen the person...
Is my art the same as your art? Because I haven't
spoken to him since. Yeah, we didn't see him
together. No. I don't know! This requires more
investigation. Jesus Christ, shouldn't be this
difficult. We just wanted to get a sponsor for
the show. Mattresses or one of those food boxes
or something. This is... Got out of fucking hand.
Yeah, like, you know, hair loss treatment. In
a year! We only do one episode of Fortnite! Jesus
Christ, how has this got so... I haven't got
a clue what's going on. I haven't seen him, nobody's
seen him. Interesting. Not the word I'd use.
Disturbing. It's my fucking voice. Yeah. Of course.
But yes, you can find us at lightlyused .co .uk.
There is our studio blog. Every single episode
has a show entry. There's photos of our tats,
links to anything we've talked about, links to
the Abergavenny Chronicle articles, Tim Butter's
book. And if we could find it in the Internet
Archive, there will be a link to the bibliothete.
book we featured in the episode as well indeed
they shall also links to all our socials I'm
going to have to throw over to you for that one
I'm just going to list them off Facebook Instagram
Twitter X Discord Blue Sky oh yes we've got Discord
it's a YouTube and we have a YouTube channel
which the episodes are uploaded to it's all audio
content I think and there was Did we put a little
shorter? There was one video of a game that we
recorded. That's right. We're working on trying
to do some more, I promise. Neither of us know
video editing. My computer barely edits the audio
for this episode anymore. I may take up the mantle
of trying to learn that, but I'm not promising
anything. Good luck and Godspeed. Thank you,
sir. If you'd like to, you'll also find our studio
channel, 84 Friends. There is the untitled sci
-fi show with Rob and TJ. The Variety Show with
TJ and Rob. Who Takes the Socks Off with Ross
and Simon, also this spin -off series. Socks
on or off where guests get to spin the wheel
of would -you -rathers. And the new addition
to the Studio Channel 84 family, The Land Before
Prime, the five -minute movie review, focusing
primarily on physical media releases and films
that are in the cinema right now. And you might
find us reviewing one of the films that have
slipped through the cracks of streaming services
as well. Find us all at channel84 .co .uk. Listen,
check out all the other shows. Tell your friends
if you like us. And share. I mean, even if you
don't like us, because, you know, even bad press
is good press. But we would like you to say nice
things. Yeah, like James. James says nice things.
Like, subscribe, internet things people do. Whatever
the kids say. I'm too old for this shit. Thank
you. Please be kind to us. We appreciate you.
And please be extra kind to me because I got
shat on by a seagull today for the second time
in a month. Meant to be good luck. That's what
Rob said, but I'm yet to find out. No. We did
deprive a likely suspect seagull of a burger,
though. That's true. But he was a weird -looking
bugger. Like big eye, little eye. Yeah. He looked
like he was tripping balls. He did. One pupil's
blown the fuck out. Yeah. Thank you everyone
for listening. Thanks for being here. We love
you. Bye. Adam and Karen have been lightly used.
Visit lightlyused .co .uk for more. To get in
touch, email pod at lightlyused .co .uk. Try
my throat. Have a sip. Yeah, yeah. Emergency
pop. Or is it emergency pow? Oh, my throat just
made a funny bubbly noise. Do you ever get it
when you swallow and you're not sure if everything's
gone down? Yeah. I feel like I've got a little
bit of drink just stuck there. Yeah, it just...
And it goes... On the way down. Do that noise
again. Ooh, the pressure. I'm only joking. It's
like that man making his big foot noise, his
big feet noise. The feet slip over it. What was
the noise I made? Or something like that. Gross.
I think it's gone now. Let's see if I can pick
up where I left off. It's your outtake. This
was a Studio Channel 84 network show. To find
more, head over to Channel 84. .co .uk now