So it was in my shoulder and my elbow. There's
something trapped. It's unpinging. That's not
pleasant. What the fuck was that? Wind. I don't
even know. It's going to get picked up on the
mics. It wasn't me. That one wasn't me. I heard
it in my earphones. I eared it in my earphones.
So I think maybe the mic might have picked that
up. Eared it in my earphones. It's a quiet spell
between next door and not vacuuming their car.
Yes. And the winds die down at the start. Yeah,
do it. This is Lightly Used with Adam and Karen.
Hello, I'm Adam. I'm Karen. This is episode 26
of Lightly Used. Thank you very, very much for
listening. Yes, indeed. And we've got to say
hello to somebody as well. Yeah, actually, I
was literally just about to say, can I borrow
your pen to write this down before I forget?
But James Pickworth. Thank you. We officially
love you. I know Tom and Rob have spewed beautiful
words about you because you are the most incredible
social media supporter. But you've adopted us
into your listening sphere and we are hugely
grateful. Thank you for listening to us. Thank
you for being amused by us, which is even better,
and for sharing everything everywhere. You are
a wonderful human being and your dog is so cute
and she looks so lovely in her little muddy trough.
So, yeah, we're at that stage of we've got so
few listeners, we can thank them individually.
Yeah, if you're listening to this in a year's
time and we're massive, that'll teach you not
to be an early adopter. Thank you, James. It
really does mean a lot to us. Named and shamed
in the most loving manner possible. Were you
going to use my pen for anything or just take
it off as I was gesticulating? You were gesticulating
and saying, oh, listener, I was about to say,
can I have your pen to write down James's name
so I don't forget to talk about him, but you
remembered. Just as you were about to write it
down. Yeah, just as I was about to write it down.
Excellent timing. Oh, you know the tiny chip
that you noticed in the Tetmobile windscreen
when we were on the way to Abergavenny? The one
that you were really disappointed that I found.
Yeah, it's new. Can't have nice things. So I
booked a private between 8 and 1 to have that
fixed. I got a confirmation text that said that
I'd be sent a link on the day to track the text's
arrival. So I text that morning at 8 o 'clock.
Text's going to arrive between 9 and 4 .30. I
booked it between 8 and 1. So I thought, I'll
use the link to see if I can narrow down the
time, see if I can see whereabouts he is. I've
got a rough idea of how far away he is. Like
you can track an Amazon driver when it's like
8 stops away or whatever. Don't get asked for
my number plate and postcode. Pop that in. Next
page. Just a spinning circle. Not showing. The
rest of the page is loaded. Just the actual information
I needed. Yeah, show me. I can scroll up and
down. I can see the title of the window company.
Scroll down and see the contact information,
site map, and all these other links. But the
thing I need to find about this appointment,
nothing's happening on the screen there at all.
Helpful, helpful. I emailed a link to myself.
I'll try it on the PC. No. It only lets me amend
or cancel the appointment. Oh, lovely. Just show
me where the dude is. God, so you've gone from
having to take half a day off work to potentially
having to take an entire day off of work. Yeah,
yeah. He showed up about 11, half 11 -ish. Nice
bloke, but yeah, it was just... The booking system
their company uses, absolute tosh. Do you want
to name and shame said company? I can't remember.
Oh. There's only like three... car windscreen
companies in the country anyway. Fair enough.
One of those bastards. Yeah. I don't think they
have a catchy jingle if they don't narrow it
down. No. It's not that one. You buy one, you
get one free. No, that was... Double glazing.
Yeah. No, Ron Seal is what you put on your fences.
I never understood. How are you selling windows
off the back of these adverts? Yeah, they were...
Very irritating. Well, in the other company,
but then. Yeah, we can't even remember the company,
just the horrible adverts. Yeah. It'll come to
me in a flash later on and I'll be like, and
I'll totally put you off your swing of whatever
it is you're doing at that moment in time. They
changed that Tavern Cry guy for someone from
Corrie, didn't they? Did they? The glassiest
guy that had the corner shop. I'd never watched
Coronation Street. I watched a couple of episodes
run by Nens a couple of times. Reg? I don't know.
Oh, well. It's not important. Bit of a tonal
shift from a spokesperson. Yeah, so the crack
is fixed? It's still a little bit visible. It's
visible. It's there, but it's not cracked, at
least. Yeah, we went out in the van yesterday,
and I was like, oh, I thought you'd got that
chip fixed. And you were like, yeah, I did. Yeah.
It does say in the small print it might still
be visible. And I was like, oh, I thought they
just pumped resin in it and then it vanishes.
But apparently not. Girl brain. Yeah, they had
to sign the waiver. Yeah, should have just left
it. Yeah, never mind. I'm going to start shredding
my windscreen wipers, then we'll do something
about it. Yeah, yeah. So we've just watched Rug.
We did. Which... I randomly mentioned at the
start of the last episode, Dad texted me the
YouTube link this morning whilst he was listening
to the episode. But you actually found a link
before... Dad did, purely because you knew what
we'd been talking about and he didn't. And you
put the link to the movie on YouTube in the blog
for episode 25. I do have to give some thanks.
I'm not on Reddit. I don't think we are as a
show. We're not. I think Channel 84 is. Channel
84 are. Variety show, yeah. But thank you, Redditors.
I think that's how you're known for your post
nine years ago. Yeah, when I was writing the
blog for the last episode, I was able to find
the film Raag. I think you misremembered it as
R -A -A -G. Yeah, R -A -R -G. I searched for
animated film people discover they exist in a
dream. First actual result, Reddit. Excellent.
Cheers. Thank you. Excellent. I've never really
gotten into the depths of Reddit. I guess it
depends where you go on there. Some of it is
hangovers from the old internet. Like, oh, there
we go. Well, I'm just going to describe a film
and out of the goodness of my own heart, I'll
just reply and tell you, yeah, it's a film. Here's
a link to an IMDB and here's the YouTube link.
Right. And I think there's a forum. What is this
thing? You can just take a picture of something
you don't know what it is and people will...
Have a go at answering it. A lot of the time
they'll get it right because there's lots of
knowledgeable people out there. There are. That's
pretty cool. So yeah, those old internet things.
Yeah. I guess if you go with the politics side
of things. Yeah, I think I would have to try
and avoid the conspiracy political rabbit holes.
But I'm also really quite interested in things
like that. Not because I believe them, but because
I'm just so shocked at some of the things people
actually convince themselves are real. But, you
know, there's... If there's no solid evidence
to the contrary, it's just my version of the
world against theirs. We saw that video last
night on YouTube, didn't we? Yeah. I'm sidetracking
you from Raag. I was just thanking Reddit for
being a hangover for me. The old internet, the
good days. So I really enjoyed re -watching it.
I've not seen it for a really long time. Dad
does actually still have a copy on DVD. We're
dead, we're all chestless. Yeah, and I was like,
oh... Because we used to do family film nights,
I think probably like once a month or something,
where we'd all sit down together and watch a
DVD. And it's one of my fondest sort of like
family movie night memories is all sitting down
to watch this very short animated film. I think
it's like 23 minutes, something like that. It's
really well made as well. It's brilliant. The
animation style is simplistic but beautiful,
kind of almost a little bit reminiscent of play
school with the way the buildings are coloured
in, sort of like a watery colour. wash and I
don't know yeah there's something in my brain
that's going oh that's a bit play schooly but
I can't think of it off the top of my head some
of the character styles remind me of Popeye like
Wimpy and the goons and stuff like that with
the round faces and also round nose yeah just
it's a lovely film and I just the opening credits
and I was just like oh I was transported back
to being like how old I was when dad picked it
up and it was really nice and I remembered all
the music And then cynical 44 -year -old Karen
Brain kicked in at some point. I think it was
very near the beginning with the bluebirds and
the pinkbirds. And I was like, blue for boys,
pink for girls. And then I thought, oh, hang
on a second. That's, you know, one of those things
that is a delicate subject these days. And then
there were a few other things. And then the whole
kidnapping the guy. that they're inside the head
of in his dream. Yeah, spoilers. It's a film
from the 80s. It's been out since 1989. If you've
not seen it, you know, I'm not doing it justice.
But it's a brilliant film. But there are some
very dark undertones to it in terms of... Well,
it's an interpretation. Yeah, you know, it's
about existence and autonomy, I guess. Where
we find ourselves and what we're prepared to
do to survive. It might not have happened. He
might have just dreamt it. Exactly. The entire
thing was a dream. And maybe Edwin is in someone
else's dream. But the dark ending, he's now in
a coma. Yes, forever asleep. And there are only
people that can wake him up that he dreamt into
existence. And now flamingos. Spoiler. We did
porn early. But, you know, it's such a lovely
little film. It was really fun. Yeah. I forgot
to pay attention at the very, very end because
we thought, well, let's get down and record.
I forgot, did Richard Wilson do the voice of
the mayor? The professor. Oh, the professor,
sorry. There's only like two speaking parts in
it. But I forgot to look at the end. I don't
think it was. There wasn't any, I mean, the video
cut off before any end credits. Oh, that might
have just been me. No, it wasn't because it came
up on the channel tile, didn't it? But yeah,
it was lovely to watch it again. Thank you for
entertaining that with me. If you'd like to enjoy
yourself, have a look at episode 25's blog post
at lightlyused .co .uk. On the show today, a
bit of a truncated episode because I've not really
slept well all week. Karen's not really slept
well. I was going to go one up for you in the
last month. Karen's not slept well since she
turned 40. Adam's not slept well for... Probably
the last three years. So, yeah, we might just
skip over the game because we've got nothing
prepared for that. And I've got a book, but I've
not had time to properly read through it. And
I think there's a few more things I should be
pointing out in it. Full -length episode will
return with 27. Yeah, I'm sure we'll find plenty
of things to talk about. In between, we'll fluff
it out with a bit of chitter -chatter. This is
not a guarantee. Well, I mean, I've got a couple
of other things that I can talk about if you...
Oh, no, the episode 27 will be a full -length
episode. I don't know what's happening between
now and the next two weeks. Hopefully Karen starts
to feel a bit better. Likewise. And Adam gets
more sleep. My shoulder. Yeah. It doesn't keep
me awake. I do have to say, just on a slight
tangent, thank you to Jackson and to my mum.
As all of you long, short -suffering listeners...
are aware if you listened to the last episode
I've been having a bit of a rough time recently
and I was struggling to get housework done and
things like that so Jackson came over one evening
and he did my dishes he did my bins he cleaned
the whole kitchen he hoovered the flat you know
he brought me food shopping gave me a massive
coach it was so lovely and it really helped with
my mental state to not be surrounded by the chores
that hadn't got done and I'd started to mentally
tell myself off for which is a really bad practice
and I shouldn't do it but thank you Jackson for
just being a wonderful human being and for looking
after me and thank you to my equally long -suffering
mum for giving up her peaceful retirement and
coming to look after me in my flat for four days.
I don't share my space very often and I don't
necessarily share it very well. And I'm not always
the most entertaining host and I'm certainly
not at the moment. But, you know, mum came down
and she did my laundry and we cooked dinner together
and, you know, we had a very small walk on the
beach, which was wonderful for both of us because
I'd not been on the... well I'd not really been
outside properly for a while certainly not on
the beach and mum loves the beach it's like it's
her grounding space so we just walked along the
sand for a couple hundred meters and then went
back to the car but it was really nice but um
I love you both so much um and I'm trying really
hard not to be emotional about this because I
could easily cry Adam's reaching out. Oh, Adam's
reaching out with his hand across the table.
He's so sweet. But I do, I love you both. You're
wonderful. And Adam also has been pulling more
than his weight and his fair share over the last
few weeks. I've had more baths than hot dinners.
which is wonderful because it makes my bones
and my muscles so much happier. He's given me
money for a second massage, which I haven't booked
yet, but I will do because the first one did
give me a couple of days of relief. So, yeah,
thank you to the wonderful people in my life.
You know, without being gushy, thank you. I appreciate
you and I appreciate Jackson and I appreciate
Mum and Lexi for all the phone calls as well.
And thank you both for looking after Karen as
well. For the next instalment of Lightly Used
News, Johnny Turnip and his knights continue
their quest to seek King Arthur and Excalibur.
Abergavenny Man claims he has found the legendary
sword Excalibur. by Tim Butters from the Abergavenny
Chronicle on Monday 5th August 2024. He found
it by Tim Butters? Tim Butters had it all along.
Much like the Holy Grail, the legendary sword
Excalibur has been sought after for centuries
by philosophers, poets, politicians, historians,
the hapless and the lost. However, an Abergavenny
man claims he now wields what legions of adventurers
and explorers have all sought in vain. The Sword
of Power. It's a bit of a trip to think my hands
have fondled the same piece of steel as King
Arthur, but you can't cheat destiny, explained
semi -professional paranormal investigator Johnny
Turnip. In hindsight, I can now see that when
I lost myself to a twilight world of substance
abuse and bizarre sleeping patterns in my twenties,
I was simply in denial of my own greatness. I
always knew my bones that fated to earmark me
for something historical and earth -shattering,
but I had no idea to stand by King Arthur's side
and rule the world. For years, I tried to run
from who I was and what I was supposed to be.
I got good at it as well. Before becoming a paranormal
investigator, I was a semi -professional long
-distance runner. But the running stops here.
I've finally embraced who and what I am. Since
Arthur's demise, the extraterrestrials have secretly
governed this planet with a dark intent. Once
I wake the Great Bear by driving Excalibur into
the Great Rock where he sleeps, it'll be time
for E .T. to go home and stay there. Turnip told
the Chronicle that after having a vision that
revealed Excalibur was rusting away at the bottom
of a reservoir on Tredegar, he and the boys jumped
in Big Tony's battle bus and headed up top to
find the once -and -future king's fabled weapon.
Only trouble was, when we got there, we had no
idea how to retrieve Excalibur from the depths,
explained Turnip. None of us had any diving gear.
And even if we did, no one was willing to take
the plunge. We'd all grown up with a bit of a
phobia of the water thanks to films like Jaws.
Turn about it. In my heart, I had high hopes
that Lady's Hand would reach out of the reservoir
holding the sword aloft like it did in that dodgy
80s film Excalibur. You know, the one with the
fruity -looking guy playing Merlin and the village
-idiot -looking fella playing young Arthur. Anyhow,
after sitting on the banks for hours and sharing
some flagons of cider, nothing much happened,
and you could see Big Tony was getting more and
more twitchy with each passing second. He eventually
stood up abruptly and said, Saw this for a game
of soldiers. I've wasted enough time on this
wild goose chase. I'm off. Hang on a sec, Tony,
I said. You're one of my sworn knights. You took
an oath. You can't leave without being dismissed.
He just looked at me up and down like I was some
sort of half -wit and said, Knight? Oath? Excalibur?
Listen to yourself, JT. You've lost the plot.
I only came along for the crack and the free
beer. And all this Dungeons and Dragons nonsense
is getting embarrassing now. I know you, Paul,
and others like to live in some weird, drug -hard
little fantasy realm. It's a luxury I can't afford.
When we're all on UC, I'm due in sight tomorrow.
I'll lose my job. Tony! I cried when he stropped
back to the van. You'll have riches beyond labour
when I'm crowned the second king in command.
This is the alien mind control talking, not you.
Stay a while and share this bolly gin with me.
You'll see things differently, I implored. It
was no good. Torn is adamant, and as I watched
him head back to the relative normality of the
metaphorical rocking chair that is Old Mother
Abba, I saw Fast Eddie jump in front of his Bedford
rascal and holler, Take me back to Abba with
you to pick up some supplies, Torn. I've got
an idea how we can retrieve Excalibur. I looked
at Fast Eddie curiously and wondered what little
pigmy he had up his sleeve. But with Torn gone,
we needed some wheels, and although it would
be a bit of a squeeze, Fast Eddie's mini was
capable of transporting us all. Turn about it.
As Big Tony wheeled spin -off, not so much as
give me a friendly two -fingered salute, I felt
a genuine sense of betrayal. A big oaf would
live to regret his indiscipline when asked it
in a new world order. As I gazed round the remaining
nights of my war party, I saw Puerto Rico Pole
was sleeping off the effects of the cider, and
JFK Jones was limping around annoyingly in his
broken ankle boot and furiously texting someone
on his phone. When a devious little tart saw
me monitoring like a hawk, he had the good grace
to look embarrassed. I continued to stare at
him and said cryptically, Only those you trust
can betray you. I could tell by his body language
and dumb look on his face he knew what I was
getting at. He was up to something fishy. And
before this quest was over, I'd find out. Turnip
explained that when Fast Eddie returned, he shared
a plan to retrieve Excalibur that might just
prove feasible. Eddie's called Fast for a reason,
explained Turnip. He's quick on his feet and
a fast thinker. He brought with him a two -man
inflatable kayak and one of those magnetic fishing
kits. The plan was that me and him would paddle
out to the middle of the reservoir and drop the
huge magnet on the fishing line overboard and
hopefully, sooner or later, we'd find Excalibur.
It was a long shot, but it was all we had. Turnip
revealed that after being on the water for three
hours and catching nothing but beer cans, a shopping
trolley, an old scooter and an air gun, they
were just about to call it a day when a cloud
passed in front of the sun and an eerie silence
fell. Turnip explained. It's difficult to put
into words, but you could tell from the changing
atmosphere something big was about to happen.
We pulled up the magnet one last time, and on
the end of the line was a huge sword, I'd like
to say, the likes of which you'd never seen,
but it was covered in rust and in a bit of a
way, it looked like one of those samurai swords
that were big in the 1990s, but one that had
been left to rot for a couple of decades. However,
if I didn't already know in my heart of hearts
it was Excalibur, what happened next confirmed
it. to be continued. No! I'm getting so excited!
As much as I implore you not to read ahead, you
can if you want, because all these stories and
more are compiled in the Trials and Tribulations
of Johnny Turnip by Tim Butters, available on
Amazon, and you can find the link from our blog
page, lightlyused .co .uk. It's what I hope is
everybody's favourite part of the show. It's
jingle time. Are you ready? Yay. He's so enthusiastic.
I love it. My tat's going to get guessed immediately
again. Well, pick better tat. running out of
stuff on my shelves you have to start hiding
things more regularly and you come around my
house you've seen everything i've got i know
and when we go shopping you see what i buy in
the charity shops what's really funny is you've
not been around to mine for a while no and i
may have secretly extended my tack collection
so there are items that you won't know immediately
what they are because you haven't seen them before
I need a half a point advantage. Is anyone at
home keeping score? That was one of our intentions
when we started this. Yeah, I don't know. James,
fancy a task? No, don't. Leave them alone. No,
James. We're not setting homework. No, we don't
do that. We're not teachers. We're not cruel.
Anyway. If we can't be asked to do it ourselves,
we should definitely expect someone else to do
it on our behalf. When it's related to our own.
Yeah, I know. Like you said last time, no one
can care more about this podcast than you. And
if you don't care, then that's fine. You're allowed
to care more than me, but collectively, as the
hosts. How much we collectively care, that's
the limit. It's very disproportionate, I think,
about how much we care as well. Adam's the technical
perfection carer and I am the crazy, I just want
to have a laugh and record a podcast side of
caring. You're the seagull. You just fly in,
make a lot of noise, squawk around, shit on it,
fly off and go, there we go, I'm all done. Yeah,
pretty much. I'm sat with this. I am the beach
chicken of lightly used. Shout out to Killer
Rabbit Pod. We miss you. Sam, if you're listening,
I really miss you all. Come back, you guys. Yeah,
we miss your northern voices. They can't keep
going off into the wilderness like this and leaving
us. Oh, they've got busy lives. Okay, anyway.
Come out of the warren. Back onto topic. It's
time for Tat in the Box, Tat in the Box, Tat
in the Box, Tat in the Box, Tat in the Box, Tat
in the Box, Tat in the Box. Tat in the box. It
may or may not be two extra claps at the end.
We're not quite sure. We'll have to look up blankety
blanks and point. No one's allowed to know that
I've pilfered it from someone else. They'll never
find out. No. It's totally unique IP, USP. No
one's ever done it before. So it's my... Item
first. My hands are open, face up, ready and
willing to grab whatever it is you want to put
between them. I'll put it that way around between
your hands. It better not be a butt plug because
that sounded really awkward to get hold of. There
would have probably been some sort of noise.
Yeah. Oh, that was a good one. Right. Dans le
table. Is it on the table? Où ai? Où ai? Où are?
Où ai, monsieur? I'm going to move my arms closer
together. Yep. I can't feel anything yet. Don't
leave me up there. It's not very... I can't feel
it yet. Oh, there it is. Oh. Oh. Told you. Adam!
I can't even click the clicker. Yeah, you can.
No, I can't. It's been on 89 for as long as I've
known it. It doesn't matter. It does. I've remembered
the number now. It's a Dorman clicker. Yeah.
With a key ring on it. No, I think that's just
where your finger goes. There you go. Like that?
Yeah. I'm not clicking it. You can. No, no, I
don't want to do it. Adam. I haven't even opened
my eyes yet, everyone. But you know exactly what
it was. I know exactly what it's done. Before
it's even the right way around in your hand.
I felt it. I felt him press that button and it
didn't react the way I was expecting it to. I
was hoping there'd be more of a noise. We need
to be monetised to be demonetised. So, yeah,
carry on. We're as filthy as we like. Guess the
number. 104. Close. Higher. 106. Higher. 112.
Lower. Three. 107. It's a doorman's clicker.
One of those things that bouncers have on their
fingers. Ooh, links. Links click. The sexy clicker
for sexy men that women want to smell. That came
out in around about 2006. I'm not sure if Link's
click is still a smell that's around now. But
we may have one American listener for you. It's
Axe Body Spray. Mostly around the Link's effect.
It was being an advertising campaign around the
80s. No, about the 90s and noughties. The Lads
Mag era. And the most memorable being... well
for me the billions campaign hordes of attractive
ladies in bikinis just running through the jungle
swimming out of the sea for one guy who's a double
fisting cans of spray on a deserted beach I found
the reset and I was trying to get it to 89 and
I clicked it about seven times and it went to
147. So I think it's a dud. We've used that bit
of clickiness. Yeah, it's a shame. It's a cool
little thing though. I like it. But yeah, this
one from Link's Click Deodorant from around about
2006. There were two campaigns for it. All right.
I only really remember one. Ben Affleck, he was
going around LA. Doing his daily things, getting
food, running errands, popping out of shops before
going back to the hotel. And each time a lady
sort of checked him out or, hello, it's Ben Affleck.
I think one time he counted a guy checking him
out too. Nice. Nice to make it fair. He gets
a hotel lift. There's a cleaner already in there.
He notices Ben and says, I'm going to check out
how many clicks I've got. 803. And the cleaner
leans over. Yeah, he's over 2 ,000. There was
another advert for Link's Click in 2007. No recollection
of these, but it was a six advert campaign with
Harmar Superstar. No idea. He's a musician. His
persona of the character of Harmar Superstar
is a little bit of a sleazy, but larger than
life party. Right, okay. But yeah, upbeat party
songs. Kind of cool. But I missed them completely.
I found a video uploaded by a model in one of
the adverts. I'm guessing she must have shown
that these are the... adverts i've been in uh
but the link will be on the show blog trying
to remember the word blog there was promotion
to win one of these clickers just a standard
clicker for counting attendance things like that
it's just got links click branding etched in
one side ah yes they go for about a five or an
ebay seems about a pound or two more than ebay's
asking for Brand spanking new regular clicker.
Yeah, the link's click branding doesn't add anything
to it. Oh, it's gone back to zero. Yeah, I reset
it and then tried to get it to 89 and it went
to 147. That's some good action you've got going
there, love. Oh, that jumped. Oh, did it throw
a 100 in there? I was pressing too fast to know
when it jumped, so it might have... There we
go. Lovely. That'll never read 89 ever again.
Never mind. There we are. Lovely bit of tap,
darling. Right, my turn to guess. It is. Shut
your eyes. It is on the table, roughly central
to you, but not your hands, because you've got
one hand wider away from you than the other.
Have I? Oh, there we go. Oh, it feels like a
fancy coaster. It's got some sort of embossing
on it. It's quite glossy. Rubberised effect with
my nails. A little bit waxy. It feels like two
things together. It's five things sellotaped
together. I have not removed the sellotape because
I wanted to do that. Together. I'm guessing they're
going to be coasters then. Correct. Would you
like to try and psychically guess anything else
about them? Is this the back? That is correct,
yes. The rubber O is the non -slip bit on the
back. That's not a logo or something I'm trying
to feel like. I don't think I'm going to feel
anything distinctive on the front other than
just the shape of a grip. for putting cups in.
Is that right? No, not really. Do you want to
open your eyes? Yeah. Oh, vinyl. Oh, yeah, it
would have been. Yeah, I thought that was just
textured. They're miniature vinyl. Was I there
when you... No, you were not because I picked
them up when I was with mum. Have I been somewhere
you've seen some fancy coats? Quite possibly.
They might not have actually been actual vinyls.
It might have just been a motif or something
on them. Yes. So these are a set of... They're
supposed to be a set of six, but there's one
missing. So I got them. There's five. They are
miniature 45. Like reproduction. Reproduction
vinyl records. They've got the sort of like branding
label that you would normally see on the centre
of a record. Do you want to pull them apart and
have a look at them? Yeah, about five inch across.
Well, a man's five inch. A woman might say four
and a half. These were a pound for the set. We're
measuring right to the antler. From the root.
From the root. He takes the socks off Christmas
special episodes. That's a hell of a callback.
Measure from the back of the crown. I told a
good joke once six months ago. No, a year ago
when we recorded that new year. So, yeah, there's
a set of five for a pound. They're a generic
brand. They're not... Anything special, I don't
think. I think that's meant to look like maybe
a Warner Brothers logo on the front. Yeah, maybe.
I think they've all got different record labels
on them and inverted commas. Just because I saw
the colours of one of them looked a little bit
like Island Records, but let's have a look. The
front one says Rest On Me, I think is the track
name. Spectrum Records. Spectrum Records. Tea
Time is the track name on that one. That's the
one I think I thought was Island, just saw the
colours. Yeah. That might be EMI. Oh, yeah, quite
possibly. CRW, what's that? Cover and Protect.
Who's that by? The Nostalgics. Are they all by
the Nostalgics? They are by the Nostalgics, yes.
These are selling for a complete set of six on
eBay, anywhere from £6. These are from the Salvation
Army. And when I first saw them, they weren't
in the general tax section and they weren't in
the tech section. They were kind of... in a nondescript
area of stuff. And I initially thought, oh, maybe
they're like those little records that you used
to get for the Fisher -Price vinyl players. But
obviously those records used to be printed quite
thick plastic and they were coloured. um you
know like pink and yellow sorry hit the mic stand
then pink and yellow and things um so i walked
around i say walked around i hobbled around and
then found a sofa to sit on whilst mum walked
around looking at these and i was like i'm gonna
get them anyway because i wasn't sure but they
do look like proper little records yeah fun little
things they do have a Yeah, so they do have the
needle grooves on them. It looks too rough to
actually play anything. I think it's just symbolic.
Yes. Yeah, I'm pretty sure if there's any music
on there, it's probably just demonic chants or
something. But I did wonder whether they might
be a toyetic type thing, but they're not. They
are coasters and the lady at the till told me
so. And I was like, oh, I feel like a twat now.
Because I was saying to her, well, they remind
me of those little records you used to get for
Fisher Price record players. She's like, yeah,
but they're coasters. And I was like, are they?
He's just dropped one. And she's like, yeah,
look, they've got rubber bass. And I was like,
oh, yeah, so they have. And I was kind of disappointed.
But at the same time, they're a nice flat coaster.
And I like a coaster. Whilst I don't necessarily
use them at home, I do have a couple of sets.
But the thicker a coaster is, the less stable
your mug is sat atop it, I believe. So these
are nice and flush. They're only probably about
a millimetre, maybe maximum two millimetres thick
and rubber -based. They'd keep a nice stable
mug on there and you could fit a good... I mean,
the HP mug would not fit on that. It would fit
over it. Yeah, you might need three together.
Yeah, but a standard size mug, espresso mug.
They would all fit on there. And they look really,
really good. They are cool, aren't they? Yeah.
I'm not sure which is the missing one of the
six, but that is as far as my research went because
I've been busy dying on my sofa. You will find
photos of all of our tats on the blog. Yes, you
will. And if you've had any of these or any of
the tat we've ever featured, feel free to drop
us a line. Pod. at lightlyused .co .uk yeah that
would be really nice actually good to hear from
anyone at all so we're pretty much at the end
of our mini recording session yeah sorry it's
been a little bit of a shorter episode this time
that's okay people won't mind that it's easier
for a commute probably yeah and let's face it
an hour of listening to me is enough to send
anyone to therapy Hopefully normal service will
resume in two weeks' time. I'm sure it will.
So, it was your birthday yesterday. Yeah. No,
it was your birthday on Friday, today is Sunday.
Oh yeah, sorry, it's usually Saturday we record
this. Wow, I've totally lost today. It was your
birthday on Friday. You're not a general celebrator
of birthdays. Which makes life... Difficult for
me because I like to celebrate the people that
I like being here. And so does my mum. So, happy
birthday. Oh, thank you very much. I've been
given an N card. With a VW bus on the front.
Oh, thank you very, very much. That's from mum.
And if you would please close your eyes and hold
your hands out. Yeah, mum said she got you the
card with the van on because she'd been fixing
your one up and she thought it was... That's
way better than the Tetmobile. Okay, hold your
hands out. Oh, okay. So this is a crap present
from me because your actual present is still
in America. Oh. So you can open your eyes. You
don't have to guess what it is. I'm going to
guess it's a T -shirt. Correct. Oh, hello. salt
rock with a saucy mermaid very very saucy mermaid
front and back I thought you might like her thank
you very very much So yeah, that's also from
Salvation Army. But yeah, Saucy Mermaid. Photos
will be on the blog. Actually, I'll put this
on. Are you going to model it? Yeah, yeah. Nice.
You can take a photo of me wearing that in a
bit. Thank you very, very much. You're welcome.
You're very welcome. I really hope it fits. That's
a cool T -shirt. When your actual present turns
up, I will give it to you. But it's still being
made, I think. oh oh wow yeah good old america
whatever thank you you're welcome don't get excited
it's just a thing but anyway so yeah belated
happy birthday and that's all i say about that
uh naked and afraid the show or me when i'm changing
to put this t -shirt on oh i don't know uh the
show okay yeah um so i briefly think i briefly
mentioned this to you yesterday it might actually
have been last night when we were falling asleep
that's the one where the clues are named two
people are who applied to the show to say they
can survive on a jungle island for is it two
weeks or so with just with their wits it varies
The season that I'm watching at the moment is
Last One Standing, season three. Oh, is it? Quite
a few people competing against each other. Yeah.
So it starts, I think they started off with six
women and six men. And you are basically naked.
You have nothing other than the... Mic pack.
You know, you've got, yeah, you've got... Obviously,
you've got your cameras and there's safety people
around because you're in the outback in Australia
and whatnot. But you're naked. You've got a knife.
You've got a ferro rod or whatever it's called
to make a fire and a water bowl, water pot. Pail
or something. You know, like the metal ones that
you can chuck on a fire. Yeah, Dixie Tins. Yeah,
yeah, that sort of thing. That holds a couple
of litres of water. And that's about it. And
everything else you have to scavenge for, hunt
for, forage for. You have to build your own shelter
if you want a shelter. And this season, Last
One Standing, is brilliant. It's a lot of the...
very regular faces that people have gotten to
enjoy that have done the previous seasons of
Naked and Afraid that are just normal episodes
without them having to compete against other
camps. So it's just two people off in a jungle
or in the African savannah. Or for this one,
it's the Australian outback. Like the needy survival
all -stars. Yes. Yeah, exactly. So they've all
come through sort of like, I think there's been
like 18 seasons of Naked and Afraid. Oh, plenty
of contestants to choose from. Loads. And there's
some amazing characters. There are some real
nutcase survivalists out there. You fucking have
to be. But anyway. There's one camp at the moment
that is, this won't mean anything to you, but
anyone that watches Naked and Afraid, last one
standing, I apologise. This is season three,
episode three, potential spoilers. Switch your
ears off. Fast forward for a little bit if you
want to miss this. There is one camp of three
people at the moment, Matt, Max and Laura. They
are like super duper all -star Naked and Afraid
survivalists. like professional survivalists
they train they hunt for their food they you
know they teach people all these skills max is
back at camp laura and matt go out hunting for
wild boar for pigs or goat because they're an
invasive species and they can kill those and
eat those and no one's going to care so off they
go with their bow and arrows and their kangaroo
hide strapped around their feet and like a a
tote bag made of hessian which Doesn't cover
much. Whoever used to have to do the blur for
Naked and Afraid before AI blur ability turned
up, if they've not had some sort of weird kink
or mental breakdown related to how much gooch
and foof they've seen, I don't understand. But
I'm sure it's all done by AI now, which is probably
much better for people's mental health. Not sexual
anymore. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's not sexy. I mean...
The TV programme is not sexy. It is the absolute
opposite of sexy. It's pretty gross. It's not
even meat, it's just pixels. Yeah, yeah. So anyway...
I only see it blurred now. So Matt and Laura
go off to try and find these pigs that they can
shoot and have for breakfast or whatever. And
they come across this enormous nest. And you
have ostriches and emus in Australia. I don't
know about... They might have ostriches, they
definitely have emus. But this nest is so big
that it could house a family of like 10 emus.
It's like eight feet round at the base, seven
or eight feet tall, made purely from blades of
grass. matt and laura are like what the hell
is this they're walking all the way around it
trying to figure out if it's a bird's nest and
matt's like well there's no feathers there's
no dirt it's completely clean they both climb
inside it laura's like sticking her face into
the leaves going oh my god it smells so nice
this smells lovely and they're like dossing about
and then they go back to camp and they haven't
caught a pig but they found this really cool
nest that they don't really know what it's for
and like laura jokes at one point or maybe it
belongs to a pterodactyl you know it's the australian
outback you don't know what's out here um lovely
yeah and then about 10 or 15 minutes after they
get back to camp the producer turns up with two
people whose faces you don't see who are like
the professional outback safety people to make
sure that you know, if a dangerous snake is spotted,
it's tracked and people are made aware of where
it is, you know, and to warn people of these
are the things you can touch, these are the things
you can't touch. They know the outback really
well. Are they pixelated? No. Or is the camera
just pointed down? The camera is shoulder level
down. I was just wondering, I just wanted to
know how much production value you got into.
Oh, shoot, we've got to protect these at all
costs. Okay, we need to make a point of not pointing.
Right, that's what's happening. You can't see
their faces. You can hear their voices. And they
come to the group really weirdly, like an emergency
situation. And these Australian guys are like,
you can't go back there and you can't say anything
to anybody about this. We need to keep this,
like, in this group. It cannot go any further.
On an international TV programme. And he's like,
don't go anywhere near it. Don't touch it. And
they're like, oh, is it a bird nest? And the
guy's like, no, it's not. And we found one similar
up north a few months ago. There's been scientists
there investigating it, blah, blah, blah, blah,
blah, this, that and the other. And the best
thing they can describe it as is a primate nest.
Now, to the best of my very poor knowledge of
the animal kingdom, I don't think Australia has
any native primates. They've got marsupials.
Kangaroo's probably the biggest. And koala is
like the closest thing, maybe. Drop bears. Yeah.
But they don't have any apes, you know. No chimpanzees,
no monkeys. As far as I know, if I'm wrong, please
feel free to correct me, anyone who's listening.
I really don't mind that because this is just
me talking nonsense. And Matt's like, a primate
nest. And the Australian guy's like, yeah, don't
go anywhere near it. And Matt's like, what, Bigfoot?
And Laura's like, oh my God, have we found a
Yeti nest? Bruce Hood. And the Australian guys
are like, really don't want to talk about it,
but they've got to sort of say, like, you can't
talk about this. They won't say that it is definitely
a Bigfoot nest. One of them mentions the word
Yowie. which is, I don't know how it's spelt.
I think it's phonetic. Which is, you know, Australia's
version of the Bigfoot or... That wasn't a call
that's just next door making noises. That was
weirdly timed. It was weirdly timed. Don't know
if that'll come out on that. Like Australia's
version of Bigfoot or a Yeti or a Sasquatch.
Osquatch. Osquatch. Oh yeah, cool. So a Yowie.
And these creatures are not to be trifled with.
They can... create disastrous situations for
you if you disrespect them their land their space
or anything but they smell so good I am now waiting
for a series of calamities to happen to Laura
and Matt because they've both been inside this
nest and they were like we we sat inside that
and the Australian guy was like you shouldn't
have done that So, honestly, I don't know if
this is a manufactured situation or if it is
just a random nest that happens to have been
there. But it was enormous. Is that where the
cameramen are hanging out and having a shower
and stuff? That's why it smells so good. That's
baby oil and lubricant smell. The cameraman's
having a shifty in the bushes there. Gross. Don't
go back there. Oh, you've got to respect the
territory. They'll get angry. Don't even look
at that again. Stay away. But, I mean, if you've
never watched Naked and Afraid, it's one of my
guilty pleasure TVs. Lexi introduced me to it
years ago, and I used to rip the piss out of
her for watching it. I'd be like, naked people
in the jungle? What a bunch of fucking idiots.
But then when you watch it, you realise that
these idiots are... eminently watchable and they
represent fairly regularly the worst attributes
of human beings and you really find people to
root for and you really find people to dislike
and then you get into the bets of tapping who's
going to tap first how many of the people seem
to be more yeah they are they look like the outdoors
man and this seems to be how how they get by
is living off the land compared to yeah i reckon
i can have a go at that Well, that's a good question.
I wish I hadn't had to go with that accent. Yeah,
that was a good Australia. That was impressive.
Really? Yeah, no, it came across really well.
Oh, thank fuck. I was immediately regretting
that. Oh, no, no. I thought it sounded great.
Especially by my standards. There are a number
of people who... go on naked and afraid, whose
lives are survival. They work in survival. They
live in survival. Until the incident. They spend
their time building fires outdoors and, you know,
making traps and shooting turkeys or whatever
it is that they shoot to get by and, you know,
make their food. And, you know, I don't have
any problem with people... I mean, I'm not vegetarian,
I'm not vegan, and I'm sorry if you disagree
with this opinion. It is purely mine. If you
are someone who kills your food to eat it, so
if you're going out getting grouse, turkey, bear...
moose whatever if you're shooting that animal
to feed your family and that's your shopping
for the month not trophy hunting yeah then that
is fine but people who go around to kill things
purely for the pleasure of killing them that
i wholly disagree with no they've got a reason
to be killing what they're killing yeah they
do have a reason to be killing what they're killing
um the show is quite brutal and and doesn't shy
away from the practicalities of having to end
creature's lives in order to sustain your own
uh you do see things being gutted and whatnot
you don't often see things being killed um but
you do see like the processing of the carcass
or whatever um but yeah i'm i'm waiting for next
friday for episode four to to see if the sasquatch
has come and got matt and laura in their sleep
i'm really fascinated if you're into like mysteries
encrypted and naked the idea of naked people
running around trying to survive in the outback
in australia in the middle of summer is a good
idea to you this is really worth watching it's
on discovery plus go ahead and watch it um and
i have a new addiction oh yes this is the last
thing i'm gonna talk about before you're allowed
to do the outro it's welcome nothing to really
thanks for listening yeah cheers everyone love
you um my new addiction has come about because
it is tornado season in america and Central time
is however many hours behind us. Five, six. Something
like that. I don't know. I've tried to work it
out. But when you're watching TV at four o 'clock
in the morning and you haven't slept yet, it's
difficult. Max Velocity. Shout out to Max Velocity
of YouTube. He is a young guy who is a meteorologist,
certified, degreed. And he runs a channel that...
He streams all of the active storm chasers and
the weather radar for supercells, looking for
tornadoes, giving out warnings to people. And
he is so easy to watch. And the thing about watching
storm chasers is it's great when it's in rural
areas. I have seen some fucking awesome tornadoes
in the last couple of weeks because I've not
been able to sleep. And the weather around Texas
has been just perfect for tornadoes. And there
was this huge one that was like big enough to
fill your screen. It was dust wrapped. It was
bright orange because of all the dust it was
throwing up and the light that was coming down
through. It was amazing and I love it. But I
caught myself watching it the other day and there
was a tornado, a destructive tornado heading
towards a small city. And... The whole feel of
the channel was completely different. Like, it
really put across the severity. And the fact
that not just tornadoes are important things
to look out for, but the storms, the general
thunderstorms they get out there, the severe
thunderstorms, can have winds of up to 100 miles
an hour. And they actually had a derecho situation,
I'm going to say North Dakota, a couple of days
ago. And a derecho is a line of storms. I believe
that's over 150 miles long with recorded winds
of over 100 miles an hour. Now, if the UK had
a storm that was 150 miles long with winds of
over 100 miles an hour, half the country would
fall over. But it really sort of made me think,
oh, is this a good hobby? Because I want to see
really cool tornadoes, but I don't want to see
people's houses and lives. Just happening. Destroyed.
In the middle of nowhere. America's big enough.
Yeah, yeah. So agricultural wide open space tornadoes,
fucking brilliant. Tornadoes going towards cities,
terrifying. And I'm thousands of miles away,
sat on my sofa, completely safe, terrified of
people that I will never see, never know, never
speak to. And I'm like, I am literally watching
potential death. move at like 20 miles an hour
towards the city and thankfully that particular
tornado took a bit of a turn to the south and
it missed it and it stayed in a mostly agricultural
rural areas but some people have died I think
there's been like four reported deaths in the
last 24 hours due to tornadoes so my new addiction
I think I need to have a bit of think about because
whilst it's and tornadoes are fascinating and
beautiful and insane. You're watching for the
force of nature, not the results of what's happening.
I don't want to see people destroyed, but the
process... No, don't. I don't want to see people
destroyed. Full stop. There's no but there. I
should have ended that sentence there. It's the
storm itself and the weather phenomenon. Yes,
it's the phenomenon that is fascinating, not
the results of it. So, yes, I need to have a
think about my 4am addiction. As for us, it was
a bit windy outside. You might have heard her
go past the window. There's still a few times.
Yeah, it's been a couple of little gusts. Wasn't
me farting, I promise. Yeah, well, that's pretty
much all the nonsense I've got to talk about
this episode. Before we end, I just want to say
happy 10th birthday to Cheap Show Podcast. Obviously,
this show wouldn't be this show without... cheap
show and their inspiration yeah absolutely i
promise we're trying our best not to just be
a poor coffee yeah we we we you know yes we are
acutely aware inspired by i promise of our similarities
to cheap show they are genuinely um inspirational
people to us we love paul and eli and everything
they do we are not copycats we have Agonised
over trying to keep ourselves not cheap show.
But happy birthday, gentlemen. You are just fucking
geniuses. Genii. Yeah. Happy birthday, you beautiful
human beings. Cheapshow .co .uk. They're amazing.
Happy birthday, gentlemen. Happy birthday, Paul
and Eli. And see you in October for your live
show at the Cheerful Earful in the Bedford Arms
in Balham in London. Us, on the other hand, we
are part of the studio Channel 84 Indie Podcast
Network. Thank you very much to TJ and Rob for
inviting us to be part of it. They host the Variety
Show. Rob and TJ host the entitled Sci -Fi Show.
And Ross and Simon present Who Takes the Socks
Off? and Socks On or Off? Minisode. Find all
of us at channel84 .co .uk and give our friends
a listen. Share them with your friends. And,
you know, even more so in some circumstances.
Share us the people you fucking hate. Because
they're either lovers or haters. So either way,
you'll have won. In that case, tell them Karen
sent you. Yeah, it's always from me. Our bit
of the site is lightlyused .co .uk. You'll find
a blog post with photos of everything we've talked
about, links to things we've talked about. Link
to Tim Butter's Johnny Turner book and also any
books that we've found on the internet archive
that we've mentioned in Bibliotek. They'll have
links there too. I think that's everything. Oh,
there's links to socials. Yeah, we are still
on Twitter. We are on Blue Sky. We are on Facebook.
We are on Instagram. Underscore lightly used
on Instagram, Blue Sky, Twitter? And then on...
It's not important. Just go on lightlyused .co
.uk. You'll find a link. It's taking us too long
to list everyone. Yeah, I'm tired now. We're
on the internet. You probably know it already.
Come find us. We love you. Thank you. Adam and
Karen have been lightly used. Visit lightlyused
.co .uk for more. To get in touch, email pod
at lightlyused .co .uk. Yeah, I don't know if
I need to burp. Is it a burp? Is it a fart? Oh,
it's definitely in my throat. Is it a frog? Oh,
God, my spine. God, we were a right pair of...
It was a burp. We were a right pair of useless
bastards, aren't we? Right. This was a studio
channel 84 network show to find more head over
to channel 84 .co .uk now.