WEBVTT

00:00:00.140 --> 00:00:02.480
I can hear you now, and I can hear me. There

00:00:02.480 --> 00:00:05.400
we are. One, two, one, two, three, four. Push

00:00:05.400 --> 00:00:10.359
the button. Push the button. Push the button.

00:00:11.699 --> 00:00:14.279
There was a film I've not been able to find.

00:00:14.339 --> 00:00:17.800
I can't find it online. My dad got it on VHS

00:00:17.800 --> 00:00:20.100
years and years and years ago. I think we were

00:00:20.100 --> 00:00:23.160
in... We might have been in Telford at the time.

00:00:23.300 --> 00:00:27.399
And it was called Raag. R -A -A -G. And it was

00:00:27.399 --> 00:00:31.519
an animated thing. And the long and short of

00:00:31.519 --> 00:00:36.439
it was, it was questioning existence. And then

00:00:36.439 --> 00:00:40.039
it turns out that the people in Raag are in a

00:00:40.039 --> 00:00:43.780
man's dream. And they've discovered that they're

00:00:43.780 --> 00:00:45.920
in this man's dream. So then they put this plan

00:00:45.920 --> 00:00:50.140
together to try and... get hold of the man and

00:00:50.140 --> 00:00:52.420
bring him into the dreamland and keep him asleep

00:00:52.420 --> 00:00:54.520
for as long as possible because they're afraid

00:00:54.520 --> 00:00:57.060
obviously if he wakes up they'll cease to exist

00:00:57.060 --> 00:01:01.840
not trying to escape into the real world so the

00:01:01.840 --> 00:01:04.180
plan i thought they were gonna yeah they build

00:01:04.180 --> 00:01:07.540
this like massive arch contraption um that they

00:01:07.540 --> 00:01:09.620
go through that takes them into the man's bedroom

00:01:09.620 --> 00:01:12.040
and they come back out but there's this whole

00:01:12.040 --> 00:01:15.840
bit about them pushing a button in the library

00:01:15.840 --> 00:01:18.760
or something. And they push this button and that's

00:01:18.760 --> 00:01:21.879
how they discover that they're in a dream. And

00:01:21.879 --> 00:01:23.439
that's what kicks off the whole adventure of

00:01:23.439 --> 00:01:25.500
trying to stop themselves from not existing,

00:01:25.560 --> 00:01:31.620
but existing in their own dream world with the

00:01:31.620 --> 00:01:33.920
man dreaming inside their own dream world. But

00:01:33.920 --> 00:01:35.739
anyway, it's very funny. It's a brilliant film.

00:01:35.939 --> 00:01:39.340
What year was it, roughly? It would have been

00:01:39.340 --> 00:01:49.420
somewhere around... 95, 96, 97. Missed me by

00:01:49.420 --> 00:01:52.260
entirely. Yeah, but it's a wonderful film. It's

00:01:52.260 --> 00:01:54.159
really good. But I've never been able to find

00:01:54.159 --> 00:01:57.500
it. Dad, if you've got a copy of Raag, I don't

00:01:57.500 --> 00:01:59.299
even know if you've pressed record, but if you

00:01:59.299 --> 00:02:01.219
have, just in case, Dad, if you've got a copy

00:02:01.219 --> 00:02:02.859
of Raag or you know where to find it, please

00:02:02.859 --> 00:02:04.359
tell me because I want to show it to Adam because

00:02:04.359 --> 00:02:06.599
it's a great film. And I don't know if you press

00:02:06.599 --> 00:02:08.060
record. I don't know if you've got a tape recorder

00:02:08.060 --> 00:02:10.560
to send this with. Oh, yeah, VHS player. That'd

00:02:10.560 --> 00:02:12.460
be great. Cheers. Yeah, we are recording. Oh,

00:02:12.520 --> 00:02:16.439
we are? Okay. Cheers. Thanks, Dad. Anyway, random

00:02:16.439 --> 00:02:23.580
start. This is Rightly Used with Adam and Karen.

00:02:29.430 --> 00:02:33.430
Welcome to Likely Used, episode 25. 25! 25, we

00:02:33.430 --> 00:02:36.389
are a quarter of a century old. We're nearly

00:02:36.389 --> 00:02:39.710
a year into doing the show. I know, yeah. That's

00:02:39.710 --> 00:02:42.069
mad. It's easier when we're doing it fortnightly.

00:02:42.349 --> 00:02:45.250
Yeah, that's true. Yeah, fortnightly's good.

00:02:45.389 --> 00:02:47.729
We couldn't do it weekly. Well, if we're doing

00:02:47.729 --> 00:02:49.509
it monthly like I'm insisting at the moment,

00:02:49.689 --> 00:02:52.449
we'd only have to do 12 episodes to get to a

00:02:52.449 --> 00:02:55.930
year. We're doing twice that. Do you really want

00:02:55.930 --> 00:02:59.530
to go to monthly? A lot of the time. Otherwise

00:02:59.530 --> 00:03:01.909
we have to buy the expensive mixer. Well, yeah.

00:03:02.189 --> 00:03:04.550
To make it a lot easier to edit. I know, but

00:03:04.550 --> 00:03:06.509
Tom and Rob have been bragging it takes them

00:03:06.509 --> 00:03:09.210
like two to three hours to edit an entire episode.

00:03:09.530 --> 00:03:11.610
I'm like, that's totally worth the investment

00:03:11.610 --> 00:03:15.169
in my mind. Anyway, welcome to Lightly Used.

00:03:15.189 --> 00:03:18.849
I'm Karen, he's Adam. Hello. We are back in your

00:03:18.849 --> 00:03:22.509
ears, not in your faces, unless you're listening

00:03:22.509 --> 00:03:25.270
slash watching this on YouTube. Yeah, what have

00:03:25.270 --> 00:03:27.780
we been up to? Well... No, last week I said they

00:03:27.780 --> 00:03:30.000
put the anti -static strip on Tapmobile. Do you

00:03:30.000 --> 00:03:33.620
mean last episode? Yes, I do. Nearly a year.

00:03:34.080 --> 00:03:37.759
Nearly a year. And I just literally a minute

00:03:37.759 --> 00:03:40.379
ago mentioned fortnightly. And if I was less

00:03:40.379 --> 00:03:42.000
of a bitch, I wouldn't have picked you up on

00:03:42.000 --> 00:03:45.560
that. I'd probably still do it if we did it monthly.

00:03:46.780 --> 00:03:49.219
So it would make even less sense. Last time.

00:03:50.479 --> 00:03:55.379
Last time. Unlikely used. Sorry. The exciting

00:03:55.379 --> 00:03:57.900
moment when I said I put the anti -static strip

00:03:57.900 --> 00:04:00.780
on the Tatmobile before we went to Abergavenny.

00:04:00.960 --> 00:04:03.560
It fell off already. I don't even think it lasted

00:04:03.560 --> 00:04:07.139
the trip there. Oh no! There was just no room

00:04:07.139 --> 00:04:09.240
to tighten the screws properly underneath between

00:04:09.240 --> 00:04:12.500
where it was fastening onto and the bumper. I

00:04:12.500 --> 00:04:15.159
can only use the glassy screwdriver. There's

00:04:15.159 --> 00:04:19.860
only so much torque I can apply to it. They probably

00:04:19.860 --> 00:04:23.269
rattled off. Before we got to the motorway. So

00:04:23.269 --> 00:04:25.529
your tat is now someone else's tat, probably.

00:04:25.850 --> 00:04:29.930
A waste of two pounds. Bastard thing. But we

00:04:29.930 --> 00:04:32.009
did, yeah, go to Abergavenny. We did. It was

00:04:32.009 --> 00:04:34.970
a lovely day. We decided to go on a Sunday before

00:04:34.970 --> 00:04:37.629
bank holiday, so everything was closed. Yeah.

00:04:37.790 --> 00:04:40.050
But there was a bike meet -up. There was. They

00:04:40.050 --> 00:04:42.350
were doing a Macmillan rally, I think they were

00:04:42.350 --> 00:04:44.610
raising money for. So you pointed out some very

00:04:44.610 --> 00:04:46.329
nice bikes to me. I did point out there was a

00:04:46.329 --> 00:04:50.069
lovely Triumph Bonneville there that, oh. Yeah,

00:04:50.189 --> 00:04:53.220
that made me a bit melty on the inside. Making

00:04:53.220 --> 00:04:55.660
up for your lack of two wheels from eBay. Yeah,

00:04:55.660 --> 00:04:58.259
I know. Jackson sent me another bike to consider

00:04:58.259 --> 00:05:02.740
the other day as well. He's like, you know, it's

00:05:02.740 --> 00:05:06.000
nice. And I was like, yeah, it is. Anyway, carry

00:05:06.000 --> 00:05:10.100
on. Yeah, like one owner from new. Good provenance

00:05:10.100 --> 00:05:12.800
on the other one. That's true. That's why it

00:05:12.800 --> 00:05:14.620
probably went for a little bit outside the price

00:05:14.620 --> 00:05:17.459
range. I'm sure it did. It was removed from eBay.

00:05:17.560 --> 00:05:20.379
I think he sold it outside of the auction. But

00:05:20.379 --> 00:05:23.839
we recreated the, what we think was the walk

00:05:23.839 --> 00:05:27.480
following the Oracle of Spikes from episode four,

00:05:27.720 --> 00:05:31.600
possibly? Gosh, yeah, probably. Somewhere like

00:05:31.600 --> 00:05:35.860
that. Yeah, so we walked from the Swan Meadows,

00:05:35.879 --> 00:05:38.980
the stone circle, the Eisteddfod Stones in Swan

00:05:38.980 --> 00:05:42.120
Meadows car park. A little bit through the town

00:05:42.120 --> 00:05:46.620
and alongside the castle walls, I posed recreating,

00:05:46.800 --> 00:05:49.759
pretending to climb over the wall. There's video

00:05:49.759 --> 00:05:54.180
evidence of Adam being a ninja. Four seconds.

00:05:54.779 --> 00:05:58.620
I'm just posing against the wall. It does look

00:05:58.620 --> 00:06:00.660
like I'm actually trying to see if I can find

00:06:00.660 --> 00:06:02.879
the foothold. I think my mum genuinely thought

00:06:02.879 --> 00:06:04.879
you were climbing over the wall. She was like,

00:06:04.920 --> 00:06:09.009
oh my God. We're trying to work out where might

00:06:09.009 --> 00:06:11.490
Johnny Turner have climbed over. And a bit further

00:06:11.490 --> 00:06:14.209
along, there's a much, much lower bit. Yeah,

00:06:14.230 --> 00:06:17.290
there is. Which fits into the story of the size

00:06:17.290 --> 00:06:19.889
of the belly. So given the size of mine, it seemed

00:06:19.889 --> 00:06:22.029
plausible further down. If I could have managed

00:06:22.029 --> 00:06:24.029
it, I think a semi -professional long -distance

00:06:24.029 --> 00:06:26.029
runner could have gotten over the wall. Absolutely.

00:06:26.110 --> 00:06:28.069
And he was a semi -professional long -distance

00:06:28.069 --> 00:06:30.730
runner still at that point. Yeah, he wasn't fully

00:06:30.730 --> 00:06:33.579
investigating the paranormal. No. Kind of forgot

00:06:33.579 --> 00:06:35.480
to look around for the entrance to the underworld

00:06:35.480 --> 00:06:38.779
when we got in the castle grounds. Yeah. Yeah,

00:06:38.800 --> 00:06:40.920
we're in the castle. What do we do now? Oh, kind

00:06:40.920 --> 00:06:43.220
of forgotten. Yeah, let's go find a nice bench

00:06:43.220 --> 00:06:45.480
to sit at and talk rubbish for half an hour.

00:06:45.680 --> 00:06:46.980
There's a nice little garden there. It was a

00:06:46.980 --> 00:06:49.279
lovely garden, yeah. Nice and secluded, but a

00:06:49.279 --> 00:06:51.279
lot of nosy people coming out of the castle just

00:06:51.279 --> 00:06:53.379
looking straight at us as if we're going to go...

00:06:53.920 --> 00:06:55.879
Let's go down there. The one place those people

00:06:55.879 --> 00:06:58.120
are on their own. Let's go and sit in there.

00:06:58.199 --> 00:06:59.920
But thankfully they didn't. No, they didn't.

00:06:59.920 --> 00:07:02.220
They went the other way. We chose the one table

00:07:02.220 --> 00:07:05.259
that was there. Yeah. The entire picnic table

00:07:05.259 --> 00:07:10.120
for two people. Dibs. Yeah. And also last episode,

00:07:10.160 --> 00:07:12.660
I did say I had a bit of a problem with buying

00:07:12.660 --> 00:07:15.259
mugs when we started the pod. And I said, I haven't

00:07:15.259 --> 00:07:17.970
bought any in months. And what did you do? The

00:07:17.970 --> 00:07:19.829
day after recording, we went to Abergavenny.

00:07:19.930 --> 00:07:24.170
I bought an NYPD mug in a charity shop. It's

00:07:24.170 --> 00:07:26.509
in his hand at the moment, folks. And also when

00:07:26.509 --> 00:07:29.490
showing off Marvin the Martian, we said, oh,

00:07:29.509 --> 00:07:32.449
isn't hers Warner Brothers mug? We didn't say

00:07:32.449 --> 00:07:34.490
what hers were. We mentioned that you've got

00:07:34.490 --> 00:07:38.069
a mug. Oh, it's a Wile E. Coyote. We didn't mention

00:07:38.069 --> 00:07:40.670
it at all. We just referred to it. Yes, I have

00:07:40.670 --> 00:07:43.490
a Wile E. Coyote mug and my little Care Bear

00:07:43.490 --> 00:07:45.930
that featured in a previous episode lives inside

00:07:45.930 --> 00:07:48.670
him. So, yeah, this is an officially licensed

00:07:48.670 --> 00:07:54.490
NYPD mug. £1 .25. And it's got a little hologram

00:07:54.490 --> 00:07:56.569
sticker still on it. So it hasn't been used.

00:07:57.189 --> 00:08:00.750
2017, City of New York, all rights reserved.

00:08:01.889 --> 00:08:04.110
I think they've gone a bit overboard with the

00:08:04.110 --> 00:08:08.389
logos. I mean, it is. Plastered. On the handle,

00:08:08.490 --> 00:08:11.970
two logos on the inside. Yeah. And then the crest

00:08:11.970 --> 00:08:14.470
at the bottom, the crest, the shield on either

00:08:14.470 --> 00:08:16.829
side. And on the bottom as well. Is it on the

00:08:16.829 --> 00:08:19.829
bottom? Oh, yeah, and on the bottom. Bloody hell.

00:08:19.970 --> 00:08:22.870
Almost every available surface. You just need

00:08:22.870 --> 00:08:25.569
it on the outside. Yeah. That's excessive. But

00:08:25.569 --> 00:08:27.230
I would like to see, you know, the machine that's

00:08:27.230 --> 00:08:29.949
been on YouTube showing the big boob thing that

00:08:29.949 --> 00:08:33.019
prints inside of. Yes. What was the shape of

00:08:33.019 --> 00:08:34.840
the one that prints inside there? I think it

00:08:34.840 --> 00:08:39.759
was probably penile. Or long boob. They probably

00:08:39.759 --> 00:08:45.179
can't show that on YouTube. Long egg. Some kind

00:08:45.179 --> 00:08:50.460
of cross between a plantain and a boob. Also

00:08:50.460 --> 00:08:53.679
from last week, you have a correction. I have

00:08:53.679 --> 00:08:58.590
a correction. I must apologise to you. Mr. Adam

00:08:58.590 --> 00:09:01.970
Court. Why? Because I insisted I was correct

00:09:01.970 --> 00:09:04.690
about something, but you had stated what the

00:09:04.690 --> 00:09:07.110
correct thing was. And I was like, no, no, it's

00:09:07.110 --> 00:09:12.370
not that. It's this. Like the fucking cow that

00:09:12.370 --> 00:09:16.009
I am. You were being a Karen. I was being a Karen.

00:09:16.090 --> 00:09:17.509
I'm very sorry. I don't think I've ever accused

00:09:17.509 --> 00:09:21.490
you of that before. Even in jest. I do try real

00:09:21.490 --> 00:09:25.250
hard not to be a Karen, Karen. You are definitely

00:09:25.250 --> 00:09:29.269
not. And I am aware of when I make mistakes and

00:09:29.269 --> 00:09:31.889
I am happy to put my hand up to them. So I apologise

00:09:31.889 --> 00:09:34.970
for stating that the Bark Racing at Thruxton

00:09:34.970 --> 00:09:38.710
was on the 1st of June. I was incorrect. It was

00:09:38.710 --> 00:09:41.750
Anglesey that was the 1st of June. And I think

00:09:41.750 --> 00:09:43.769
the trucks and things that we watched a fortnight

00:09:43.769 --> 00:09:47.129
ago is the 6th of June, as you have said. I did

00:09:47.129 --> 00:09:49.409
have a look in at the Caterham Racing. Did you?

00:09:49.549 --> 00:09:52.889
Yeah. So I apologise and very sorry. Correction.

00:09:53.269 --> 00:09:55.919
Correction made. That's all right. not essential

00:09:55.919 --> 00:10:03.879
but you know forgiven honest mistake um i suppose

00:10:03.879 --> 00:10:05.639
the only other thing i've really got to talk

00:10:05.639 --> 00:10:08.220
about it's a bit boring really but does anybody

00:10:08.220 --> 00:10:13.059
know how to donate a body a new body to a human

00:10:14.360 --> 00:10:17.360
Not currently. I'm sure that we've seen on YouTube

00:10:17.360 --> 00:10:20.879
those millionaires are working on it. Yeah. Can

00:10:20.879 --> 00:10:23.879
I have a brain swap out or something like that?

00:10:23.919 --> 00:10:26.159
Anyway. I think you need an 18 -year -old relative.

00:10:26.600 --> 00:10:30.340
God, I don't think I've got any of those at all.

00:10:30.480 --> 00:10:32.539
I'd be surprised. I think they're all over that

00:10:32.539 --> 00:10:36.220
now or significantly younger than that. But yeah,

00:10:36.340 --> 00:10:40.139
chronic illness. I don't complain about it very

00:10:40.139 --> 00:10:44.460
often, but I have fibromyalgia and... It sucks.

00:10:44.700 --> 00:10:49.620
And I would really like a new body. Yeah. This

00:10:49.620 --> 00:10:51.679
is the most fun thing I've done in a fortnight.

00:10:52.320 --> 00:10:55.120
I've spent the last week pretty much asleep.

00:10:55.399 --> 00:10:59.639
So new body would be nice. And apologies in advance

00:10:59.639 --> 00:11:02.340
if my energy levels drop massively towards the

00:11:02.340 --> 00:11:05.120
end of the episode. I can already feel myself

00:11:05.120 --> 00:11:10.259
draining. Try and be quick. It's fine. What sort

00:11:10.259 --> 00:11:12.460
of new body would you compromise? Would you be

00:11:12.460 --> 00:11:14.340
happy with? Would it be a list of brain in a

00:11:14.340 --> 00:11:17.460
jar? Preferably something better, maybe. I mean,

00:11:17.460 --> 00:11:23.039
an upgrade would be really, really nice. Like,

00:11:23.039 --> 00:11:29.759
even just a carbon copy of myself minus the genetic

00:11:29.759 --> 00:11:33.279
defaults that make me shit. That would be fine.

00:11:33.519 --> 00:11:35.659
Oh, you need a sex doll of yourself program that

00:11:35.659 --> 00:11:37.860
you can just wear a helmet and control that around.

00:11:38.560 --> 00:11:40.840
It's close enough to look like you, but not to

00:11:40.840 --> 00:11:42.919
be entirely convincing that people could entirely

00:11:42.919 --> 00:11:45.340
be fooled. Would you be happy with an uncanny

00:11:45.340 --> 00:11:48.000
valley, Karen? Well, I just saw an interview

00:11:48.000 --> 00:11:50.019
with Whitney Cummings, a comedian, and that was

00:11:50.019 --> 00:11:52.820
a shtick for one of her tours. That's brilliant.

00:11:53.139 --> 00:11:55.720
She had a robot all herself made. But, I mean,

00:11:55.720 --> 00:11:58.200
like, you know, Mars attacks me, stick my head

00:11:58.200 --> 00:12:01.919
on a chihuahua or something. I don't know. Oh,

00:12:01.919 --> 00:12:03.980
the bath's fairly low then. Transfer me into

00:12:03.980 --> 00:12:07.179
a cat. Oh, I could totally be a cat. I could

00:12:07.179 --> 00:12:10.440
spend 16 hours of sleep a day easily. As long

00:12:10.440 --> 00:12:12.480
as I had someone that would feed me and pet me

00:12:12.480 --> 00:12:15.580
and clean the litter tray, I'd be very satisfied.

00:12:15.879 --> 00:12:17.460
How long do you reckon it'd take you to work

00:12:17.460 --> 00:12:21.370
out how to work a tail? Ooh! If that's something

00:12:21.370 --> 00:12:24.009
you've never had before, if your entire body,

00:12:24.070 --> 00:12:26.570
yourself as you, has been transplanted into a

00:12:26.570 --> 00:12:29.289
cat. I guess it would, yeah, I mean, it would

00:12:29.289 --> 00:12:32.029
effectively be like learning to walk again. Like

00:12:32.029 --> 00:12:34.809
if you'd had a massive accident or a trauma that

00:12:34.809 --> 00:12:37.929
had prevented you from being able to use your

00:12:37.929 --> 00:12:41.110
body the way you had previously, then be transferred

00:12:41.110 --> 00:12:44.120
into something that could move. but moved entirely

00:12:44.120 --> 00:12:47.419
differently, I think that would take a bit of

00:12:47.419 --> 00:12:49.539
getting used to. I imagine I would have great

00:12:49.539 --> 00:12:52.480
fun learning how to use my tail. And then also

00:12:52.480 --> 00:12:54.639
once you've learned how to use it, it's getting

00:12:54.639 --> 00:12:56.519
used to it. Shit, it's out the corner of my eye.

00:12:56.659 --> 00:12:59.600
Yeah, oh my God. Life does that. That would explain

00:12:59.600 --> 00:13:01.879
it if a cat, that's the first time having a tail,

00:13:01.940 --> 00:13:04.620
but you see cats do that all the time. It's been

00:13:04.620 --> 00:13:06.860
with you for life. Yeah, life does that to me

00:13:06.860 --> 00:13:10.340
all the time. Maybe I am a cat. Maybe I am the

00:13:10.340 --> 00:13:13.620
ghost of a cat in a human body and the things

00:13:13.620 --> 00:13:16.340
that I see out of the corner of my eyes is my

00:13:16.340 --> 00:13:20.600
cat tail, but it's not like proper, you know,

00:13:20.600 --> 00:13:22.919
it's not built proper like the rest of me. It's

00:13:22.919 --> 00:13:26.059
in spirit form. So I'm not seeing a random ghost.

00:13:26.179 --> 00:13:29.840
I'm literally seeing myself. Oh my God, I'm a

00:13:29.840 --> 00:13:35.690
cat. Trapped in a person's body. Yeah. I've got

00:13:35.690 --> 00:13:37.970
a whole new outlook on life. I would explain

00:13:37.970 --> 00:13:41.350
how much you hate the tummy tickles. Not as much

00:13:41.350 --> 00:13:44.110
as you. And when you go after the sunbeams. I

00:13:44.110 --> 00:13:46.409
do like lying in a sunbeam. I'm like, that's

00:13:46.409 --> 00:13:49.470
it. I'm a ghost cat in a human body. There we

00:13:49.470 --> 00:13:52.190
are. We've figured it out. That's it. I don't

00:13:52.190 --> 00:13:55.730
need to discover anything more in life now. Only

00:13:55.730 --> 00:13:58.549
how to relax as the ghost cat in a human body.

00:13:59.309 --> 00:14:05.779
And now how to become a robo cat. and also working

00:14:05.779 --> 00:14:09.179
at working at retractable claws as well oh yeah

00:14:09.179 --> 00:14:12.679
i mean i do like i i do quite i used to chew

00:14:12.679 --> 00:14:16.320
my nails off terribly but um i stopped doing

00:14:16.320 --> 00:14:18.139
it a couple years ago and now i'm obsessed with

00:14:18.139 --> 00:14:20.759
keeping my nails in decent condition instead

00:14:20.759 --> 00:14:23.179
of removing them as much as possible now it's

00:14:23.179 --> 00:14:26.139
like got to have a buffer on me constantly let's

00:14:26.139 --> 00:14:28.360
really start sort of so maybe that's the carpet

00:14:28.360 --> 00:14:31.059
to stuff then we'll start worrying i can't do

00:14:31.059 --> 00:14:41.360
it There we are. Dan the Mike Shield. I do have

00:14:41.360 --> 00:14:43.399
a bit of a question for you. Oh, go for it. Fire

00:14:43.399 --> 00:14:45.840
away. Since we both watch YouTube round each

00:14:45.840 --> 00:14:49.679
other's houses, we've both kind of mixed up our

00:14:49.679 --> 00:14:53.019
algorithms a bit. One vid I saw in my sidebar

00:14:53.019 --> 00:14:57.379
was from Ghost Theory. Oh, yay! Love Ghost Theory.

00:14:57.820 --> 00:15:00.759
No, I didn't watch it. It had a hilarious title.

00:15:00.899 --> 00:15:03.860
It was like two hours. And from what I've seen

00:15:03.860 --> 00:15:05.320
round your house, they've never found a ghost.

00:15:05.419 --> 00:15:07.700
So I'm presuming, Yeah, why would they have found

00:15:07.700 --> 00:15:10.019
it on this one? Or surely they'd say, we actually,

00:15:10.179 --> 00:15:12.440
we got one, we found it. Here's a picture of

00:15:12.440 --> 00:15:15.879
it. There was one a few weeks ago that was very

00:15:15.879 --> 00:15:19.820
close to being extremely convincing. That would

00:15:19.820 --> 00:15:22.080
be a legitimate use for the soy face thumbnail.

00:15:22.320 --> 00:15:25.559
Yes, yes. Pointing at the ghost. But no, the

00:15:25.559 --> 00:15:28.720
title of this was, Building so haunted, police

00:15:28.720 --> 00:15:33.940
asked us to investigate. I have questions. Okay.

00:15:34.340 --> 00:15:38.740
Why are the police involved? Is haunting a crime?

00:15:39.759 --> 00:15:43.779
And also is the so haunted bit, is it like a

00:15:43.779 --> 00:15:46.779
gathering over 12 could be technically a riot?

00:15:47.240 --> 00:15:50.200
Is there an illegal number of ghosts? A clash

00:15:50.200 --> 00:15:53.440
of ghosts. Even if it's like ghost squatters

00:15:53.440 --> 00:15:56.100
rights, surely that's civil, not a criminal.

00:15:56.379 --> 00:16:00.279
This is many questions in one. Okay, I guess

00:16:00.279 --> 00:16:04.240
I would say that this property, wherever it is,

00:16:04.279 --> 00:16:06.019
I've probably seen this video, but I can't remember

00:16:06.019 --> 00:16:07.700
off the top of my brain. Sorry. I think it's

00:16:07.700 --> 00:16:10.879
a recent -ish one. I would say it's probably

00:16:10.879 --> 00:16:14.879
a building that is regularly broken into by...

00:16:15.940 --> 00:16:20.159
local -ish people, as well as urban explorers.

00:16:20.159 --> 00:16:23.919
And there's probably a lot of reports of activity.

00:16:24.980 --> 00:16:28.179
These aren't crimes that the police are involved

00:16:28.179 --> 00:16:30.960
with, as far as I know. Maybe that's got back

00:16:30.960 --> 00:16:33.320
to the police and the police are like, oh, let's

00:16:33.320 --> 00:16:35.600
send in some ghost hunters and see what happens.

00:16:35.899 --> 00:16:40.179
Or maybe the police were at the building. Like

00:16:40.179 --> 00:16:42.120
clearing people out that had broken in and were

00:16:42.120 --> 00:16:44.360
being a little bit of a bunch of bastards. And

00:16:44.360 --> 00:16:47.120
then weird shit happened to them. And it just

00:16:47.120 --> 00:16:49.159
so happened that ghost theory were turning up

00:16:49.159 --> 00:16:51.460
to do an investigation in that property. And

00:16:51.460 --> 00:16:54.620
the police were like, ha ha, can you investigate

00:16:54.620 --> 00:16:56.399
the building? Because weird shit's been happening

00:16:56.399 --> 00:16:57.899
whilst we've been in there. Those are my two

00:16:57.899 --> 00:17:00.639
theories. Yeah, I don't think the police are

00:17:00.639 --> 00:17:04.519
actually involved in looking at ghosts in any

00:17:04.519 --> 00:17:06.700
capacity. I don't think it's an official duty.

00:17:07.500 --> 00:17:09.980
I think it's a misleading thumbnail title. I

00:17:09.980 --> 00:17:12.660
think plenty of people, especially you hear about

00:17:12.660 --> 00:17:15.240
it a lot in America, people will ring the police

00:17:15.240 --> 00:17:17.640
because they believe their house is being broken

00:17:17.640 --> 00:17:20.819
into. Oh yeah, that's America though. They've

00:17:20.819 --> 00:17:22.880
got to put that on like estate agent forms. Like

00:17:22.880 --> 00:17:25.220
this house is haunted. Yeah. I mean, you do see

00:17:25.220 --> 00:17:28.940
police quite a lot in these airbags videos on

00:17:28.940 --> 00:17:32.319
YouTube because they'll be in houses that are...

00:17:32.559 --> 00:17:34.799
close to other properties that people live in.

00:17:34.940 --> 00:17:37.119
And those people are probably used to the empty

00:17:37.119 --> 00:17:39.160
house being broken into. So they'll ring the

00:17:39.160 --> 00:17:41.299
police regularly and the police will turn up

00:17:41.299 --> 00:17:44.039
and ask you to leave. But they can't arrest you

00:17:44.039 --> 00:17:47.380
because exploring an empty, abandoned property

00:17:47.380 --> 00:17:51.460
is a civil offence. Therefore, all they can do

00:17:51.460 --> 00:17:53.299
is ask you politely to leave. They can't arrest

00:17:53.299 --> 00:17:55.880
you or anything like that. Unless, of course,

00:17:55.960 --> 00:17:57.759
you're in there stealing the copper or whatever

00:17:57.759 --> 00:17:59.160
and they catch you in the act, then that's a

00:17:59.160 --> 00:18:01.099
bit different. But if you're just exploring,

00:18:01.160 --> 00:18:03.240
taking photos, doing a video, it's a civil offence,

00:18:03.240 --> 00:18:05.900
so they just ask you to leave. But they do often

00:18:05.900 --> 00:18:08.599
come in armed with tasers, so... Oh, that'll

00:18:08.599 --> 00:18:11.339
show the ghosts. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Zap the ghosts.

00:18:11.619 --> 00:18:13.539
That's the closest they can get to a proton pack.

00:18:14.700 --> 00:18:18.380
Before we get to lightly used news... Channel

00:18:18.380 --> 00:18:21.759
84 is a small indie podcast network started by

00:18:21.759 --> 00:18:25.559
TJ and Rob off of the Variety Show. Off of the

00:18:25.559 --> 00:18:29.660
Variety Show and the entitled Sci -Fi Show. There's

00:18:29.660 --> 00:18:32.819
us. There's also Who Takes the Socks Off. Now,

00:18:32.940 --> 00:18:34.960
the other guys, they've all been going a bit

00:18:34.960 --> 00:18:36.799
longer than us. They've established their shows

00:18:36.799 --> 00:18:39.420
for a while. They've got Ko -fi accounts. It

00:18:39.420 --> 00:18:41.299
feels a bit cheeky for us setting it. We're not

00:18:41.299 --> 00:18:43.980
even a year old. We only do it fortnightly. Yeah.

00:18:44.490 --> 00:18:46.970
So, yeah, we did have episode 19 sponsored, though.

00:18:47.109 --> 00:18:51.529
That's true. Kind of. Have you seen Who Takes

00:18:51.529 --> 00:18:55.130
Socks Off page of the Channel 84 site? Oh, actually,

00:18:55.210 --> 00:18:57.829
no, we listened to the episode. We did listen

00:18:57.829 --> 00:19:00.289
to their episode, yeah. They've got some fancy

00:19:00.289 --> 00:19:03.470
new media conglomerate backing them now. Yeah.

00:19:04.750 --> 00:19:07.829
We've got art. There seems a bit of disparity

00:19:07.829 --> 00:19:13.420
here. Yeah. Sorry, Arthur, call me out. They've

00:19:13.420 --> 00:19:17.259
got the Crimson Urchin Media. Did you hear they

00:19:17.259 --> 00:19:20.539
got in trouble years ago? They snuck into an

00:19:20.539 --> 00:19:23.519
art gallery and they gaffer taped a gun to a

00:19:23.519 --> 00:19:26.420
wall. It was loaded. The guy doing it shot himself.

00:19:26.920 --> 00:19:30.240
Oh, fuck. It was only a graze, but it just saw

00:19:30.240 --> 00:19:33.740
his blood and passed out. There for an hour or

00:19:33.740 --> 00:19:36.099
so. People just thought it was part of the installation.

00:19:37.200 --> 00:19:40.420
But being out for an hour, it's super fucking

00:19:40.420 --> 00:19:44.940
bad for you. Yes. That's the CEO. Oh. And founder.

00:19:45.559 --> 00:19:51.900
Oh. Hmm. Should we be worried for them? I'm not

00:19:51.900 --> 00:19:55.019
sure if we're worried for his health, Crimson

00:19:55.019 --> 00:19:57.539
Urchin Media as a company, or who takes the socks

00:19:57.539 --> 00:19:59.559
off, or just worried for art, because he's got

00:19:59.559 --> 00:20:02.680
this competition there. I just want him to know

00:20:02.680 --> 00:20:06.220
who he's up against. Honestly, I think I'd be

00:20:06.220 --> 00:20:12.160
more worried about Ross and Simon. I'll put some

00:20:12.160 --> 00:20:19.359
faith in art. Gently, softly, maybe. It could

00:20:19.359 --> 00:20:24.220
be too early to say. This was years ago. I mean,

00:20:24.279 --> 00:20:29.000
people can change. Could have been a phase. Yeah,

00:20:29.059 --> 00:20:32.240
maybe he was having a mental breakdown or something.

00:20:32.460 --> 00:20:37.859
I wouldn't have gone that far. Oh, sorry. Oops.

00:20:51.150 --> 00:20:58.750
Oh, dear. Can we get up on the show? Oh, fuck!

00:20:59.650 --> 00:21:06.130
We forgot again! We've got more from Johnny Turnip

00:21:06.130 --> 00:21:09.390
and friends who'd like to use that. Fuck some

00:21:09.390 --> 00:21:12.549
sense. Take it in turns to close our eyes and

00:21:12.549 --> 00:21:15.450
work out what we've got in Tet in the box. We've

00:21:15.450 --> 00:21:18.430
got... Oh, have we got a game to play? Yeah.

00:21:18.730 --> 00:21:22.690
oh you came very light to this episode I wasn't

00:21:22.690 --> 00:21:25.029
sure what we had no do I need to break something

00:21:25.029 --> 00:21:27.369
out from the lounge next door there's already

00:21:27.369 --> 00:21:31.089
an option next to me in here octogo but oh yeah

00:21:31.089 --> 00:21:33.470
I forgot it's not that one it's on the shelf

00:21:33.470 --> 00:21:36.019
of previously played stuff that's what was Yeah,

00:21:36.039 --> 00:21:39.539
we've done that. Yeah. And we've got your choice

00:21:39.539 --> 00:21:42.019
of book to end the show in bibliotech this episode.

00:21:42.160 --> 00:21:44.519
We have, and I am looking forward to telling

00:21:44.519 --> 00:21:46.839
you about it, actually. And I think it will be

00:21:46.839 --> 00:21:50.000
a returning feature. Oh. A returning bibliotech,

00:21:50.059 --> 00:21:53.380
just because it's so fascinating. It'll be dipped

00:21:53.380 --> 00:21:56.019
in and out of a few times. Yes, it can. That's

00:21:56.019 --> 00:22:07.509
lightly news news on the way next. For some more

00:22:07.509 --> 00:22:11.549
borrowed reportage, we turn to Tim Butters from

00:22:11.549 --> 00:22:14.650
the Abergavenny Chronicle on Monday the 29th

00:22:14.650 --> 00:22:20.390
of July 2024. Abergavenny Man claims aliens walk

00:22:20.390 --> 00:22:24.329
amongst us. And Abergavenny Man has made the

00:22:24.329 --> 00:22:26.750
bold claim that not only do aliens walk amongst

00:22:26.750 --> 00:22:28.910
us, but they have done since medieval times.

00:22:29.170 --> 00:22:31.670
And he also claims he'll soon have hard evidence

00:22:31.670 --> 00:22:36.599
to back up his sensational claims. Semi -professional

00:22:36.599 --> 00:22:39.700
paranormal investigator Johnny Turnip told the

00:22:39.700 --> 00:22:41.440
Abergavenny Chronicle that he stumbled across

00:22:41.440 --> 00:22:43.700
the existence of alien lifeforms by accident

00:22:43.700 --> 00:22:46.619
when he was on a magical mystery tour to find

00:22:46.619 --> 00:22:48.759
the final resting place of the legendary King

00:22:48.759 --> 00:22:51.460
Arthur. A dead knight shared a vision with me

00:22:51.460 --> 00:22:53.779
in Llandaffry, where the Great Bear was buried,

00:22:53.900 --> 00:22:56.740
and who put him there, explained Turnip. He was

00:22:56.740 --> 00:23:00.500
my opener, all right. You see, contrary to popular

00:23:00.500 --> 00:23:02.359
belief, King Arthur wasn't just fighting the

00:23:02.359 --> 00:23:04.890
Saxons. He's also battling visitors from under

00:23:04.890 --> 00:23:07.549
the planet. Once he'd done putting the Germanic

00:23:07.549 --> 00:23:09.329
invaders in their place, and he and the boys

00:23:09.329 --> 00:23:11.049
were celebrating their final victory at Mons

00:23:11.049 --> 00:23:13.630
Bodonicus with a gallon of wine or two, creepy

00:23:13.630 --> 00:23:15.730
little aliens from outer space saw an opportunity

00:23:15.730 --> 00:23:18.890
to make a move. The sneaky, bulbous -headed,

00:23:19.029 --> 00:23:21.329
big -eyed freaks attacked when the knights were

00:23:21.329 --> 00:23:24.490
sleeping off their victory hangovers. Turnip

00:23:24.490 --> 00:23:27.230
added, The extraterrestrial bastards were ruthless.

00:23:27.670 --> 00:23:30.829
It was absolute carnage. Half of Arthur's forces

00:23:30.829 --> 00:23:33.470
were decimated by ray guns. The King's swordsmen,

00:23:33.630 --> 00:23:36.289
archers, and big nutters with axes were no match

00:23:36.289 --> 00:23:38.470
for the tech boys to run out of the planet, especially

00:23:38.470 --> 00:23:40.049
since most of them were still half -cut from

00:23:40.049 --> 00:23:42.569
the night before. All of this was revealed to

00:23:42.569 --> 00:23:44.509
me in a vision by the possessed statue of Lwelyn

00:23:44.509 --> 00:23:47.650
ap Gravid, but it gets worse. Arthur and what

00:23:47.650 --> 00:23:49.150
remained of his troops only managed to escape

00:23:49.150 --> 00:23:51.250
because Merlin managed to turn them into bumblebees,

00:23:51.309 --> 00:23:53.789
then flew as a collective swarm to the safety

00:23:53.789 --> 00:23:55.970
of Castle at Dunraven Bay, where they turned

00:23:55.970 --> 00:23:58.369
back into men and prepared to make one last stand

00:23:58.369 --> 00:24:01.619
in the name of humanity. As the UFOs circled

00:24:01.619 --> 00:24:03.740
and the aliens unleashed their lasers, Arthur

00:24:03.740 --> 00:24:05.519
and the boys put on the brave show, but they

00:24:05.519 --> 00:24:07.299
were no match for the intergalactic colonists.

00:24:07.799 --> 00:24:09.720
During the last pitch battle on the seafront,

00:24:09.839 --> 00:24:12.440
Arthur was the last man standing, but he also

00:24:12.440 --> 00:24:14.619
fell after being hit by a beam of pure light.

00:24:15.140 --> 00:24:18.039
Here's where it gets weird. As the UFO hovered

00:24:18.039 --> 00:24:20.680
overhead and prepared to vaporize the king, Merlin

00:24:20.680 --> 00:24:23.180
appeared in the skies as a mighty dragon that

00:24:23.180 --> 00:24:25.500
roared and spat out a terrible flame straight

00:24:25.500 --> 00:24:28.240
at Arthur. The flame didn't burn the great king,

00:24:28.359 --> 00:24:30.339
but it surrounded him. and formed this kind of

00:24:30.339 --> 00:24:32.640
black stone which encased Arthur like a tomb.

00:24:33.079 --> 00:24:35.460
With Arthur's body completely hidden from view,

00:24:35.700 --> 00:24:37.920
the great rock fell into the shallow waters of

00:24:37.920 --> 00:24:40.660
the sea, where it still stands to this day, looking

00:24:40.660 --> 00:24:46.200
like any other rock to the uninitiated. Turnip

00:24:46.200 --> 00:24:49.339
added, Before the vision faded, I heard Merlin

00:24:49.339 --> 00:24:52.599
scream, The king will rise again in this isle's

00:24:52.599 --> 00:24:55.440
darkest need. An Excalibur will lie with the

00:24:55.440 --> 00:24:59.250
Lady of the Lake. At that moment, an image of

00:24:59.250 --> 00:25:01.390
Tredegar Reservoir flashed in my mind, and I

00:25:01.390 --> 00:25:03.210
realised not only did I know where King Arthur

00:25:03.210 --> 00:25:05.170
lay, but where his sword had been dumped too.

00:25:06.450 --> 00:25:08.809
Turnip explained that after leading his war party

00:25:08.809 --> 00:25:11.009
to Dunraven Bay and telling him the true nature

00:25:11.009 --> 00:25:12.650
of his vision over a supper of egg and chips

00:25:12.650 --> 00:25:14.990
and some sugary tea, his claims were met with

00:25:14.990 --> 00:25:18.990
some scepticism. Do you mean King Arthur's buried

00:25:18.990 --> 00:25:22.210
in the Big Rock? said Puerto Rico Paul. Oh, do

00:25:22.210 --> 00:25:25.210
you propose we get him out? asked Big Tony. It

00:25:25.210 --> 00:25:29.599
could be worse. said JFK Jones. How? said Fast

00:25:29.599 --> 00:25:31.759
Eddie. Let's just wait until we see the sort

00:25:31.759 --> 00:25:33.420
of calibre of rock we're dealing with before

00:25:33.420 --> 00:25:37.019
we make our play, said Turnip. Turnip told the

00:25:37.019 --> 00:25:39.140
Chronicle that after a few hours' kip, he led

00:25:39.140 --> 00:25:41.180
them to the foot of King Arthur's Rock in dawn's

00:25:41.180 --> 00:25:44.720
unforgiving light. He later admitted, As we grimly

00:25:44.720 --> 00:25:46.700
drank lager from a cans, looked at the waves

00:25:46.700 --> 00:25:48.519
crashing against the big black rock and imagined

00:25:48.519 --> 00:25:51.000
King Arthur's corpse rotting away within, all

00:25:51.000 --> 00:25:52.720
hope of restoring the once and future king's

00:25:52.720 --> 00:25:56.029
throne faded fast. Big Tony suggested we could

00:25:56.029 --> 00:25:57.529
potentially use dynamite to free the monarch,

00:25:57.769 --> 00:26:00.349
but I snapped, think of the human cost, Torn,

00:26:00.450 --> 00:26:02.369
besides which we'd blow Arthur up along with

00:26:02.369 --> 00:26:05.410
a rock. Puerto Rico Paul suggested using magic,

00:26:05.650 --> 00:26:07.869
and even offered to contact his mum Paulie, or

00:26:07.869 --> 00:26:09.569
the Witch of Tudor Street as she's more commonly

00:26:09.569 --> 00:26:11.670
known, to see if she knew any spells or enchantments

00:26:11.670 --> 00:26:15.269
that would work. I just sighed, is this high

00:26:15.269 --> 00:26:17.170
magic we're dealing with here, Paul? Merlin's

00:26:17.170 --> 00:26:18.769
perhaps the most famous magician of all time,

00:26:18.930 --> 00:26:21.369
even bigger than David Blaine. A little disrespect

00:26:21.369 --> 00:26:23.190
to him either, but... She made a name telling

00:26:23.190 --> 00:26:25.529
fortunes in a caravan. I don't think she's up

00:26:25.529 --> 00:26:28.250
for the job. As we all just nodded our heads

00:26:28.250 --> 00:26:30.609
sagely and gazed intensely at the rock, swigging

00:26:30.609 --> 00:26:32.450
on the cans and getting wary looks from assorted

00:26:32.450 --> 00:26:35.990
day -trippers, I had an Eureka moment. It's the

00:26:35.990 --> 00:26:39.630
sword in the stone! I shrieked. What is? said

00:26:39.630 --> 00:26:41.869
Big Tony. There are a current dream I've had

00:26:41.869 --> 00:26:43.509
since the youngster of me pulling a sword from

00:26:43.509 --> 00:26:45.529
a stone and everyone chanting the name Turnip

00:26:45.529 --> 00:26:49.150
over and over again. This is that stone! I said,

00:26:49.170 --> 00:26:50.869
jumping on a slippery rock and nearly losing

00:26:50.869 --> 00:26:53.750
my footing and cracking my head open. But there's

00:26:53.750 --> 00:26:56.269
no sword in it, said a perplexed -looking Puerto

00:26:56.269 --> 00:26:59.890
Rico Pole. Not yet, there isn't, I roared. The

00:26:59.890 --> 00:27:02.230
legends have it all wrong. A sword needs to be

00:27:02.230 --> 00:27:04.309
thrust into the stone and then pulled out to

00:27:04.309 --> 00:27:06.710
liberate the once and future king. Excalibur

00:27:06.710 --> 00:27:09.349
works like a key. Unlucky for the world, the

00:27:09.349 --> 00:27:11.190
location of that key was revealed to me in a

00:27:11.190 --> 00:27:15.359
vision. Where? The boys cried in unison like

00:27:15.359 --> 00:27:17.400
a tuneless drunken choir of middle -aged men

00:27:17.400 --> 00:27:19.900
washed up on a beach with no past or future but

00:27:19.900 --> 00:27:21.839
a vague and barely conscious hope of a better

00:27:21.839 --> 00:27:26.440
world. Tredegar, I announced solemnly. The birthplace

00:27:26.440 --> 00:27:28.859
of Bevan and the cradle of the NHS is also home

00:27:28.859 --> 00:27:32.039
to the Sword of Destiny. Turnip explained that

00:27:32.039 --> 00:27:34.140
just at that moment a raven landed on the rock

00:27:34.140 --> 00:27:36.259
in between the waves and started crowing at them.

00:27:36.880 --> 00:27:38.680
We took it as a sign we were on the right track,

00:27:38.880 --> 00:27:41.309
explained Turnip. But the shrieking soon got

00:27:41.309 --> 00:27:42.990
annoying as how Puerto Rico Paul threw a half

00:27:42.990 --> 00:27:44.769
-empty can of lager at it and it cleared off.

00:27:45.910 --> 00:27:48.769
Drink up, boys! I shouted. We're headed up to

00:27:48.769 --> 00:27:50.710
find Excalibur and send the space boys home.

00:27:51.390 --> 00:27:54.630
You can count on our steel, my lord! Roared JFK

00:27:54.630 --> 00:27:58.089
Jones, which didn't go down well. There was something

00:27:58.089 --> 00:27:59.930
about JFK that had been getting to my skin of

00:27:59.930 --> 00:28:02.150
late. It wasn't just a ridiculous ski boot thing

00:28:02.150 --> 00:28:03.569
he had to wear because of his busted up ankle.

00:28:03.869 --> 00:28:06.130
His cheery bluster was hiding something sinister

00:28:06.130 --> 00:28:09.069
and vile. This isn't some sort of big joke, I

00:28:09.069 --> 00:28:11.390
snapped. We're on a real all -or -nothing quest

00:28:11.390 --> 00:28:12.950
here, and your Game of Thrones nonsense isn't

00:28:12.950 --> 00:28:16.250
welcome. Turnip said that JFK looked suitably

00:28:16.250 --> 00:28:18.890
abashed, but explained, I'll forever kick myself

00:28:18.890 --> 00:28:20.769
for not realising we had a rat in the ranks sooner.

00:28:21.369 --> 00:28:23.650
Yet even if we'd sniffed out JFK's treachery

00:28:23.650 --> 00:28:25.609
before we put the knife in our backs, the true

00:28:25.609 --> 00:28:27.869
scale of his betrayal will always leave me breathless.

00:28:28.930 --> 00:28:32.589
To be continued. All of these exploits and more

00:28:32.589 --> 00:28:35.089
are compiled in the collected works, the Manifest

00:28:35.089 --> 00:28:37.849
Trials and Tribulations of Johnny Turnip. by

00:28:37.849 --> 00:28:40.549
Tim Butters. Available as paperback now, and

00:28:40.549 --> 00:28:42.170
you can find a link in the blog post for this

00:28:42.170 --> 00:28:50.230
episode at likelyused .co .uk. Time for Tat in

00:28:50.230 --> 00:28:54.630
the Box. Tat in the Box. There you go. That's

00:28:54.630 --> 00:28:58.829
it. I clapped once. Aw. Okay. It's time for Tat

00:28:58.829 --> 00:29:01.470
in the Box. Tat in the Box. Tat in the Box. Tat

00:29:01.470 --> 00:29:04.069
in the Box. Tat in the Box. Tat in the Box. Tat

00:29:04.069 --> 00:29:09.180
in the Box. Tat in the Box. I think that was

00:29:09.180 --> 00:29:11.980
one too many, but never mind. I can't talk very

00:29:11.980 --> 00:29:14.519
much, but my voice is fucked from doing news

00:29:14.519 --> 00:29:16.960
news. You did have to do a lot of voices. It

00:29:16.960 --> 00:29:19.180
was a lot of acting. A lot of shouting in someone

00:29:19.180 --> 00:29:22.400
else's voice. Yeah, it's not easy. God, I hope

00:29:22.400 --> 00:29:24.319
there's nobody talking in the next episode. Just

00:29:24.319 --> 00:29:28.700
do Johnny Turnip, I'm saying. Just be a monologue.

00:29:28.940 --> 00:29:31.220
Or just read them all as the narrator. I've got

00:29:31.220 --> 00:29:33.279
to record them at the end of the session. Yeah,

00:29:33.400 --> 00:29:35.559
yeah. People have been saying that for months.

00:29:35.680 --> 00:29:37.839
I never have. Maybe next time we'll remember.

00:29:38.529 --> 00:29:44.990
Okay, are you ready to caress and guess? I am.

00:29:45.089 --> 00:29:47.670
My eyes are closed and my hands are out. Okie

00:29:47.670 --> 00:29:51.490
dokie. Let me just delve inside my box of delights.

00:29:52.630 --> 00:29:58.210
I might have sounded different if I could speak

00:29:58.210 --> 00:30:03.910
properly. Right, okay. I have placed item...

00:30:04.460 --> 00:30:06.980
In front of you, between your hands. I'd like

00:30:06.980 --> 00:30:08.839
to think that would have sounded less pervy if

00:30:08.839 --> 00:30:12.900
I had better control of my throat. The item is

00:30:12.900 --> 00:30:17.059
tiny. There we are. Oh, it's a multi -part item.

00:30:18.740 --> 00:30:21.940
Right, and this seems like there's a cardboard

00:30:21.940 --> 00:30:26.980
box that's open at one end with... I don't know

00:30:26.980 --> 00:30:30.069
if that's... A price tag or part of... Oh, it's

00:30:30.069 --> 00:30:31.730
coming off. I don't know if that was meant to

00:30:31.730 --> 00:30:34.130
happen. Sorry. It's all right. It's a very old,

00:30:34.190 --> 00:30:36.569
perished sell tag. Oh, right. So it wasn't part

00:30:36.569 --> 00:30:38.490
of the... No, no. It wasn't like... Oh, that's

00:30:38.490 --> 00:30:42.569
okay. I'm guessing... Was that just to stop these

00:30:42.569 --> 00:30:46.210
things falling out? Yes. Oh, it's the Laurel

00:30:46.210 --> 00:30:51.420
and Hardy reels? Uh -huh. I've just felt a small

00:30:51.420 --> 00:30:55.240
film reel inside one of the boxes. Was it correct?

00:30:55.500 --> 00:30:57.539
Yes, you are correct. You can open your eyes.

00:30:57.599 --> 00:31:02.299
They are my Super 8 film reel collection. Oh,

00:31:02.299 --> 00:31:05.299
I had the Mad Butler. Yes, there are three in

00:31:05.299 --> 00:31:08.180
total. It's not a very big collection. One was

00:31:08.180 --> 00:31:11.319
bought from British Red Cross, the Mad Butler,

00:31:11.400 --> 00:31:13.420
the one that you've got in your hands now. And

00:31:13.420 --> 00:31:17.099
I think that was £5. There's Lauren Hardy and

00:31:17.099 --> 00:31:21.759
the Car Wreckers and Bucky and Pepito's Cartoon

00:31:21.759 --> 00:31:25.380
Show. And they were bought together at a car

00:31:25.380 --> 00:31:29.539
boot sale for £4 .50 for the two. I wish my voice

00:31:29.539 --> 00:31:31.859
wasn't naked. I'm just looking on the back of

00:31:31.859 --> 00:31:35.980
Lauren Hardy in the Mad Butler. I'm going to

00:31:35.980 --> 00:31:40.849
try. Remember, when buying 8mm home movies, Mountain

00:31:40.849 --> 00:31:44.170
Films are the best. Tip Top Home Entertainment.

00:31:44.609 --> 00:31:47.490
Our latest catalogue is obtainable from your

00:31:47.490 --> 00:31:50.650
dealer, illustrating hundreds of exciting films.

00:31:51.230 --> 00:31:54.329
Mountain Films Ltd. Present the best in home

00:31:54.329 --> 00:31:57.269
entertainment for your enjoyment. That's actually

00:31:57.269 --> 00:31:59.089
easier to do than my regular voice. That was

00:31:59.089 --> 00:32:01.009
very good. I'll have to keep speaking like this

00:32:01.009 --> 00:32:03.230
for the rest of the show. I must speak like a

00:32:03.230 --> 00:32:05.829
very posh man from the 1950s trying to sell something.

00:32:06.009 --> 00:32:08.569
A received pronunciation. Yes. This is the BBC

00:32:08.569 --> 00:32:12.609
Home Service. Mountain films are chosen for their

00:32:12.609 --> 00:32:15.779
content, quality and entertainment value. Oh,

00:32:15.859 --> 00:32:18.000
I've messed up that. I've got to stop there.

00:32:18.339 --> 00:32:20.160
Okay, so... You've got stuff to say about them.

00:32:20.180 --> 00:32:21.960
I have. I'm not just reading the backs of these.

00:32:22.140 --> 00:32:24.180
For anybody that doesn't know what a Super 8

00:32:24.180 --> 00:32:28.839
is, it is a small film reel. The film itself

00:32:28.839 --> 00:32:33.339
is 8mm, hence the Super 8. And these were for

00:32:33.339 --> 00:32:36.700
home entertainment, home cinema, back in the

00:32:36.700 --> 00:32:40.720
1950s and 60s. Probably up until the 80s, I think.

00:32:40.740 --> 00:32:43.099
I'm sure my dad had a Brownie projector at some

00:32:43.099 --> 00:32:46.920
point. I have... been watching brownie projectors

00:32:46.920 --> 00:32:50.019
on ebay because i would like to see if the films

00:32:50.019 --> 00:32:53.160
are in any good condition yeah just to be able

00:32:53.160 --> 00:32:55.680
to play them but i haven't gotten around to purchasing

00:32:55.680 --> 00:32:58.599
one yet but they are cool little things little

00:32:58.599 --> 00:33:04.200
objet da i suppose so yeah perfect for the brownie

00:33:04.200 --> 00:33:07.579
eight millimeter film projector these were produced

00:33:07.579 --> 00:33:12.420
by mountain films limited as adam has said beautifully

00:33:12.420 --> 00:33:17.480
with his bbc presenter voice the laurel and hardy

00:33:17.480 --> 00:33:20.700
films not the particular ones that i have but

00:33:20.700 --> 00:33:24.039
similar are listed on ebay from anywhere from

00:33:24.039 --> 00:33:29.000
1999 to as much as 40 pounds each adam is slowly

00:33:29.000 --> 00:33:33.000
unraveling one of the reels now to see against

00:33:33.000 --> 00:33:35.720
the light if he can pick out the images i was

00:33:35.720 --> 00:33:38.359
trying to read what was on the very very edge

00:33:38.359 --> 00:33:40.119
of this film trying to see which way up it was

00:33:40.119 --> 00:33:44.680
i think it says safety ah and the there's one

00:33:44.680 --> 00:33:48.079
bucky and pepito reel on ebay at the moment called

00:33:48.079 --> 00:33:51.079
pony pals and that is selling for nine pounds

00:33:51.079 --> 00:33:55.640
and three pence plus delivery so Compared to

00:33:55.640 --> 00:33:58.200
online prices, I think I've had a reasonable

00:33:58.200 --> 00:34:00.140
deal. Thank you very much to the British Red

00:34:00.140 --> 00:34:02.079
Cross and the nice lady at the Swansea Car Boot

00:34:02.079 --> 00:34:05.500
Sale. I didn't do any research into Laura and

00:34:05.500 --> 00:34:09.039
Hardy because most people will be aware of who

00:34:09.039 --> 00:34:12.159
they are. But they were a slapstick comedy duo,

00:34:12.300 --> 00:34:16.019
mostly back in the silent movie days. That's

00:34:16.019 --> 00:34:19.019
when they started. It was all very physical comedy.

00:34:20.139 --> 00:34:23.360
And, you know, they had their own. millions of

00:34:23.360 --> 00:34:25.659
films. They did loads of stuff. One of the most

00:34:25.659 --> 00:34:28.840
famous double acts of all time. Yeah. And there

00:34:28.840 --> 00:34:31.059
is a bit of a tie -in with the previous Bibletat.

00:34:31.059 --> 00:34:33.699
They did end up working for RKO Studios. Oh,

00:34:33.739 --> 00:34:35.639
did they? Towards the end of their career. There

00:34:35.639 --> 00:34:38.579
we are. I didn't know that. There we are. Cool.

00:34:39.079 --> 00:34:41.940
So what I did do is have a look at Bucky and

00:34:41.940 --> 00:34:45.139
Pepito because I hadn't heard of them before

00:34:45.139 --> 00:34:50.539
and I thought the box art was slightly... of

00:34:50.539 --> 00:34:54.019
its time, shall we say. But anyway, Bucky and

00:34:54.019 --> 00:34:57.579
Pepito's Cartoon Show was a western -themed animated

00:34:57.579 --> 00:35:04.019
TV series produced in 1959 by Sam Singer. Bucky

00:35:04.019 --> 00:35:06.719
is an American boy who dreams of being a cowboy

00:35:06.719 --> 00:35:10.840
and Pepito is his Mexican friend and he is an

00:35:10.840 --> 00:35:14.219
inventor. The episodes were roughly five minutes

00:35:14.219 --> 00:35:20.119
long. It's got 2 .8 out of 10 on IMDb. So...

00:35:20.559 --> 00:35:22.400
I guess most people aren't terribly impressed

00:35:22.400 --> 00:35:26.099
with 1959 cartoons. We don't know how Pepito

00:35:26.099 --> 00:35:28.800
is portrayed yet. We need a projector. He's an

00:35:28.800 --> 00:35:31.079
inventor, so I don't know. It could be a kind

00:35:31.079 --> 00:35:33.420
portrayal, but given the time when this came

00:35:33.420 --> 00:35:37.519
out, I'm not sure. A chap called Dal McKennan

00:35:37.519 --> 00:35:42.389
voiced both Bucky and Pepito. And I believe he

00:35:42.389 --> 00:35:44.449
was a white man. The voice could be the problematic

00:35:44.449 --> 00:35:48.690
area because nothing awful is being depicted

00:35:48.690 --> 00:35:51.789
on the cover. The cover looks fine. Yeah. It's

00:35:51.789 --> 00:35:54.369
fine. Yeah, I mean, there's a bit of a Fred Flintstone

00:35:54.369 --> 00:35:56.949
character. There's a guy in a car. Oh, is there

00:35:56.949 --> 00:36:00.750
a sentient sombrero? I think that's Pepito. Oh,

00:36:00.949 --> 00:36:03.090
I thought that was him in the car. No, I'm going

00:36:03.090 --> 00:36:06.789
to say that is Bucky and that is Pepito. The

00:36:06.789 --> 00:36:12.449
cover might be problematic. So I'm not sure.

00:36:12.789 --> 00:36:17.010
Yeah. If that's the case, then Pepito is pretty

00:36:17.010 --> 00:36:20.750
much a child whose head has been replaced with

00:36:20.750 --> 00:36:23.530
an entire sombrero with some eyes. Yeah. It's

00:36:23.530 --> 00:36:27.449
not the kindest. I might need to withdraw some

00:36:27.449 --> 00:36:30.650
of my earlier statements. It's fine. It's fine.

00:36:30.710 --> 00:36:35.429
I was, yeah. But anyway, if I ever do get round

00:36:35.429 --> 00:36:39.469
to getting a projector, I'll bring it round here

00:36:39.469 --> 00:36:41.710
and we can put it on the wall over there or something

00:36:41.710 --> 00:36:43.690
and we can watch it together and we can see.

00:36:44.650 --> 00:36:46.929
I mean, you know, two out of the three boxes

00:36:46.929 --> 00:36:49.789
are in relatively good condition. The reels themselves

00:36:49.789 --> 00:36:52.389
are in good nick. Well, I'd say three out of...

00:36:52.389 --> 00:36:54.510
This is only just because it's folded at the

00:36:54.510 --> 00:36:56.869
bottom. Yeah, it's just a bit manky at the bottom.

00:36:56.969 --> 00:36:58.630
It's still... It's not ripped or anything. It's

00:36:58.630 --> 00:37:01.239
just... It's just been damaged ever so slightly.

00:37:01.579 --> 00:37:04.400
Yeah. And on the back, is there a catalogue on

00:37:04.400 --> 00:37:09.460
the back? Films to suit every taste include Charlie

00:37:09.460 --> 00:37:14.280
Chaplin, Horror, A &M, Dennis, Animals, Travel,

00:37:14.659 --> 00:37:17.719
Sooty and Sweep, Aircraft, Our Gang, Shirley

00:37:17.719 --> 00:37:21.400
Temple, Harold Lloyd, Cartoons, War, Laurel and

00:37:21.400 --> 00:37:25.159
Hardy, etc, etc. Standard 8, Super 8, Sound,

00:37:25.239 --> 00:37:28.010
Black and White and Colour. Cool. And it's got

00:37:28.010 --> 00:37:29.889
the address of the Mountain Films, West Central

00:37:29.889 --> 00:37:33.710
Street, London, WC1. I bet they don't exist anymore.

00:37:34.670 --> 00:37:39.150
Probably not. These are excellent. Okay, it's

00:37:39.150 --> 00:37:41.469
your turn to guess. Are you ready? Yeah, gimme,

00:37:41.469 --> 00:37:45.829
gimme, gimme. I'll try very hard not to hit the

00:37:45.829 --> 00:37:49.150
microphone or the cables, although I'm aware

00:37:49.150 --> 00:37:51.369
that I'm swinging my feet, so I'm probably creating

00:37:51.369 --> 00:37:55.380
noise somewhere. Sorry, I need... To get my notes.

00:37:55.579 --> 00:37:57.940
There we go. It's making it sound very heavy.

00:37:58.599 --> 00:38:04.619
Okay, if you bring your arms together. Is it

00:38:04.619 --> 00:38:08.119
on the table? Yes, yes it is. Oh, it's not heavy.

00:38:08.340 --> 00:38:12.840
No. It's tiny. I was acting. You were actoring.

00:38:12.920 --> 00:38:19.199
Well done. Just making grunty noises. Okay. Is

00:38:19.199 --> 00:38:22.159
this something that is openable? Or would you

00:38:22.159 --> 00:38:25.159
like the... the plastic to remain is it like

00:38:25.159 --> 00:38:28.340
a grippy bag yeah that's okay it's hard to get

00:38:28.340 --> 00:38:30.559
out of that's fine i don't need to i don't think

00:38:30.559 --> 00:38:33.139
i need to take it out but but i'm just it is

00:38:33.139 --> 00:38:35.199
a little grippy bag yeah that's how i bought

00:38:35.199 --> 00:38:40.739
it okay so some sort of deck of card type thing

00:38:40.739 --> 00:38:47.690
yes inside a drug bag Did the cards come with

00:38:47.690 --> 00:38:50.190
pills or dust? That's exactly how I bought it,

00:38:50.250 --> 00:38:53.030
as you have it in your hand. Is it safe to sniff?

00:38:54.630 --> 00:38:58.829
I haven't, but I'm going to say yes. So I'm going

00:38:58.829 --> 00:39:01.849
with it is some sort of deck of cards. Yeah.

00:39:03.329 --> 00:39:06.050
Would you mean to get one out to help you? Yeah,

00:39:06.170 --> 00:39:09.030
actually. Let's see if feeling the actual card

00:39:09.030 --> 00:39:13.349
intuits my fingertips any further. I don't know

00:39:13.349 --> 00:39:16.619
if you can get any more. plastic being so weird

00:39:16.619 --> 00:39:19.940
as it is no it's just the it's such a snug fit

00:39:19.940 --> 00:39:24.719
with your eyes closed you wouldn't be able to

00:39:24.719 --> 00:39:27.139
unsheath it i was gonna say that's what she said

00:39:27.139 --> 00:39:29.099
but then i thought better of myself i'll put

00:39:29.099 --> 00:39:31.380
them face up there we go in your hands face up

00:39:31.380 --> 00:39:39.119
yes okay so the back is slightly textured and

00:39:39.119 --> 00:39:47.250
the front is a bit Maybe deceptively smoother?

00:39:47.389 --> 00:39:49.150
I don't know. I'm running my fingertip along

00:39:49.150 --> 00:39:52.650
the underside and the top side trying to compare.

00:39:54.449 --> 00:39:57.829
I think the bottom is more textured than the

00:39:57.829 --> 00:39:59.710
top. I'm going to give you that you've got a

00:39:59.710 --> 00:40:01.969
deck of cards. That's not it, no. You can't tell.

00:40:02.389 --> 00:40:05.610
Oh, so there's not 52? No. Deck of cards, you've

00:40:05.610 --> 00:40:07.250
got it right before it was even unpacked. I don't

00:40:07.250 --> 00:40:09.869
think you can get any closer than that. Can I

00:40:09.869 --> 00:40:13.010
hazard a guess if it's like a random top trumps

00:40:13.010 --> 00:40:15.630
or if it's just a standard deck of cards? I thought

00:40:15.630 --> 00:40:18.289
maybe the size might have helped getting them

00:40:18.289 --> 00:40:23.869
out of the packets. I don't know. They're too

00:40:23.869 --> 00:40:25.909
small to be something like a community chest

00:40:25.909 --> 00:40:30.550
from Monopoly. Not a playing card. Yeah. So for

00:40:30.550 --> 00:40:33.150
a board game. They're like, if you, like, you

00:40:33.150 --> 00:40:35.360
know, like the... Decks of cards you get in Christmas,

00:40:35.519 --> 00:40:38.900
crackers, the small ones. They're that sort of

00:40:38.900 --> 00:40:42.420
size, maybe slightly larger, but only marginally.

00:40:42.500 --> 00:40:45.219
But I don't know. Are there images of trucks

00:40:45.219 --> 00:40:50.360
on these? Not trucks. Oh. But some sort of vehicle.

00:40:50.360 --> 00:40:52.239
There are images on one side. The other side

00:40:52.239 --> 00:40:57.059
is... Hot wheels? No. The glossy side is the

00:40:57.059 --> 00:41:01.190
picture side. Yeah. I don't know. um some sort

00:41:01.190 --> 00:41:03.010
of deck of cards with some sort of vehicle on

00:41:03.010 --> 00:41:05.889
yeah yeah that may or may not be a top trump's

00:41:05.889 --> 00:41:07.349
travel size no no i was gonna give it to you

00:41:07.349 --> 00:41:10.929
a deck of cards you've got incredibly close weirdly

00:41:10.929 --> 00:41:13.570
with your eyes closed can i open it yeah yeah

00:41:13.570 --> 00:41:17.570
absolutely oh they're cars oh they're um cigarette

00:41:18.889 --> 00:41:21.510
They match box cards. They're cigarette cards.

00:41:21.630 --> 00:41:23.710
Cigarette cards. Now, when we went to see Cheap

00:41:23.710 --> 00:41:25.690
Show Live in Harrow last year, we met up with

00:41:25.690 --> 00:41:28.469
some of the other Channel 84 All -Stars and visited

00:41:28.469 --> 00:41:31.289
TJ's parents' antique shop. Yeah, I love that

00:41:31.289 --> 00:41:33.449
shop. I got two items. You did, and one of them

00:41:33.449 --> 00:41:35.489
is in my flat. Yeah, that was in episode 10,

00:41:35.610 --> 00:41:39.570
the 1966 to 1998 first day covers from Monaco.

00:41:39.829 --> 00:41:43.510
Our most listened to episode. Weirdly. But yeah,

00:41:43.590 --> 00:41:45.869
I also got these cigarette trading cards, a series

00:41:45.869 --> 00:41:49.659
of... Cigarette cards slash trading cards. Produced

00:41:49.659 --> 00:41:53.320
by Mobil Oil. The Vintage Cars series from 1966.

00:41:53.440 --> 00:41:56.739
They did a Veteran and Vintage Cars series in

00:41:56.739 --> 00:41:59.860
1963. Nice. And the story of Grand Prix Motor

00:41:59.860 --> 00:42:03.849
Racing in 1970. Oh, cool. There should be 24

00:42:03.849 --> 00:42:06.849
cards in the series. My set is missing about

00:42:06.849 --> 00:42:09.550
three or four, and there's quite a few doubles

00:42:09.550 --> 00:42:11.130
in there as well. There are some doubles, yeah.

00:42:11.449 --> 00:42:14.650
And the feature cards from 1920 to 1931 on the

00:42:14.650 --> 00:42:16.530
front. The illustrations themselves, they've

00:42:16.530 --> 00:42:18.329
got a bit of an Art Deco look to them, matching

00:42:18.329 --> 00:42:20.789
sort of the period the cards are from. I think

00:42:20.789 --> 00:42:24.670
those are created... Again, I've got glaucoma,

00:42:24.690 --> 00:42:26.630
so my eyesight's terrible. I think they were

00:42:26.630 --> 00:42:32.070
cut out from pieces of paper. Oh, really? I think

00:42:32.070 --> 00:42:33.469
that's how the shapes were created. If you look

00:42:33.469 --> 00:42:36.670
at the bustleback cars with a spare tyre on the

00:42:36.670 --> 00:42:39.969
back, there's a gap between the tyre. Yeah, unless

00:42:39.969 --> 00:42:42.929
it's just the way it was printed. They may have

00:42:42.929 --> 00:42:45.590
been screen printed and sometimes things don't

00:42:45.590 --> 00:42:47.909
line up quite right. But you could be correct.

00:42:48.210 --> 00:42:49.849
But I think, yeah, trying to keep in with the

00:42:49.849 --> 00:42:53.820
period correct design of how... Car posters would

00:42:53.820 --> 00:42:55.920
have been done possibly with a scalpel cutting

00:42:55.920 --> 00:42:57.780
out the shapes of the paper and then drawing

00:42:57.780 --> 00:43:01.019
with arty pens to put in the shut lines like

00:43:01.019 --> 00:43:03.699
the doors and maybe a little bit of airbrushing

00:43:03.699 --> 00:43:05.760
to get the chrome effect on bumpers here and

00:43:05.760 --> 00:43:08.539
there. They're lovely things. So on the back

00:43:08.539 --> 00:43:09.920
then there's a bit of information about each

00:43:09.920 --> 00:43:12.019
car like the year they're in production, the

00:43:12.019 --> 00:43:15.019
engine, coachwork and the price when they were

00:43:15.019 --> 00:43:18.030
new. But I paid £2 for this pack of cards, but

00:43:18.030 --> 00:43:20.489
online, prices are absolutely all over the place.

00:43:20.650 --> 00:43:23.869
Some folk are asking between £3 to £7 for individual

00:43:23.869 --> 00:43:26.769
cards. What? But you can also see ads for the

00:43:26.769 --> 00:43:31.449
complete set between £5 or £25. That's mad. Yeah.

00:43:31.949 --> 00:43:33.949
There's no real figure for them, so it's whatever

00:43:33.949 --> 00:43:35.949
someone's willing to pay, I guess. Yeah, I guess

00:43:35.949 --> 00:43:38.309
so. £2 a figure, that seems very reasonable.

00:43:38.630 --> 00:43:40.750
Absolutely. They're lovely things. Yeah, we'll

00:43:40.750 --> 00:43:42.550
take some photos for these. But yeah, pictures

00:43:42.550 --> 00:43:45.429
of all the items we've discussed and links to

00:43:45.429 --> 00:43:47.710
everything we talk about on the show on the blog,

00:43:47.849 --> 00:43:55.210
lightlyused .co .uk. Hello, it's Adam doing the

00:43:55.210 --> 00:43:58.429
editing of the episode. The game that we said

00:43:58.429 --> 00:44:00.849
that we were going to play at this point, listening

00:44:00.849 --> 00:44:05.210
back. It was just Karen and me playing cards,

00:44:05.309 --> 00:44:08.409
which didn't really translate to audio very well.

00:44:08.510 --> 00:44:11.710
So I'm going to have to skip that this episode.

00:44:12.010 --> 00:44:13.889
If you're keeping track of the score at home,

00:44:14.010 --> 00:44:17.889
Karen won. But we did record some audio when

00:44:17.889 --> 00:44:19.710
we were in Abergavenny. Thank you very, very

00:44:19.710 --> 00:44:23.090
much, TJ, of the Variety Show for the fancy as

00:44:23.090 --> 00:44:27.250
all hell lapel mics. Like an idiot, I wore mine.

00:44:27.639 --> 00:44:30.119
Far too close underneath my chin, so the audio

00:44:30.119 --> 00:44:32.480
is a little bit muffled. I've done what I can

00:44:32.480 --> 00:44:35.480
to clean it up. So in lieu of a game, here's

00:44:35.480 --> 00:44:38.940
Karen and me sitting around a picnic table in

00:44:38.940 --> 00:44:41.980
Abergavenny Castle. This is our first out and

00:44:41.980 --> 00:44:46.059
about. An adventure. We're taking the tapmobile

00:44:46.059 --> 00:44:48.900
and we're in Abergavenny. We are. We are sat

00:44:48.900 --> 00:44:53.199
in the gardens in Abergavenny Castle. So far,

00:44:53.239 --> 00:44:56.300
we've pretty much just pulled up. in the Swan

00:44:56.300 --> 00:44:59.699
Meadows car park yes we're recreating or following

00:44:59.699 --> 00:45:04.400
the oracle of spikes trail so we pulled in the

00:45:04.400 --> 00:45:07.360
stone circle in the Swan Meadow car park the

00:45:07.360 --> 00:45:10.780
Eisteddfod stones and we followed what we presume

00:45:10.780 --> 00:45:14.239
to be the trail the hedgehogs a hedgehog took

00:45:14.239 --> 00:45:17.019
johnny turnip and friends on through the town

00:45:17.019 --> 00:45:19.480
centre Along the side of the castle we found

00:45:19.480 --> 00:45:22.139
some potential climbing places over the wall.

00:45:22.260 --> 00:45:26.219
Photographic evidence will be on the blog. Only

00:45:26.219 --> 00:45:29.340
a recreation. I didn't actually climb. He only

00:45:29.340 --> 00:45:32.679
got one foot up, one leg up. I stood in the pose.

00:45:32.940 --> 00:45:36.239
That was it. Actionman pose. I was just acting.

00:45:36.900 --> 00:45:38.980
You can see how convincing it is on the blog.

00:45:41.019 --> 00:45:42.940
So yeah, we come round through the castle and

00:45:42.940 --> 00:45:45.099
we've been looking for potential places where

00:45:45.099 --> 00:45:47.909
Johnny Turdip and friends... might have camped

00:45:47.909 --> 00:45:51.130
to be found two potential places one a little

00:45:51.130 --> 00:45:53.449
undercrofty bit where if you wanted you could

00:45:53.449 --> 00:45:56.530
sleep standing up inside the castle undetected

00:45:56.530 --> 00:45:58.309
apart from maybe your feet if someone's shown

00:45:58.309 --> 00:46:01.260
a torch in the right place And we found a little

00:46:01.260 --> 00:46:03.860
Victorian garden area near the museum, which

00:46:03.860 --> 00:46:07.099
is very, very nice. It's very sweet. There's

00:46:07.099 --> 00:46:11.500
sort of willows that are planted in semicircles

00:46:11.500 --> 00:46:14.300
that arch over. They're all intertwined with

00:46:14.300 --> 00:46:17.139
one another. And there's little love seat benches

00:46:17.139 --> 00:46:19.179
underneath those. We're actually sat on a big

00:46:19.179 --> 00:46:21.440
wooden picnic bench because, you know, love seats

00:46:21.440 --> 00:46:24.900
and all that. But with the sun is shining in

00:46:24.900 --> 00:46:27.179
between the clouds, there's a bit of a breeze.

00:46:27.239 --> 00:46:29.210
So I'm sorry if you can hear that. But it does

00:46:29.210 --> 00:46:31.429
sound nice going through the leaves. That's the

00:46:31.429 --> 00:46:33.829
reason I wanted to sit in the table on here because,

00:46:33.829 --> 00:46:35.929
yeah, we need a table. We've got bags and stuff

00:46:35.929 --> 00:46:37.650
and also the low seats are all in the shade.

00:46:38.050 --> 00:46:42.530
That's true. But I am like transparent skinned,

00:46:42.530 --> 00:46:45.289
so shade is good for me. You can sit over there,

00:46:45.349 --> 00:46:47.989
I'll watch you. I would say it's about, what,

00:46:48.010 --> 00:46:51.469
20 degrees? Ish. Yeah, about 20 degrees. That's

00:46:51.469 --> 00:46:53.369
enough for me to get burnt. So I'm wearing a

00:46:53.369 --> 00:46:55.730
baseball cap today to try and avoid some of that.

00:46:56.539 --> 00:47:00.420
but uh yeah nice day so far the museum is beautiful

00:47:00.420 --> 00:47:03.460
what we can see outside we haven't actually been

00:47:03.460 --> 00:47:05.599
in there yeah we've not been in yet but it does

00:47:05.599 --> 00:47:08.659
it does look lovely the repointing on the turret

00:47:08.659 --> 00:47:14.199
is particularly nice and weirdly i like the green

00:47:14.199 --> 00:47:17.940
window frames yeah it's kind of pastel green

00:47:17.940 --> 00:47:21.059
yeah very pastel pistachio i would say oh yeah

00:47:21.059 --> 00:47:25.949
it's good yeah Not quite the avocado green from

00:47:25.949 --> 00:47:28.250
70s interiors. Oh no, definitely not. It's not

00:47:28.250 --> 00:47:31.409
like one of those awful bathroom suites. I bet

00:47:31.409 --> 00:47:33.510
there's still houses with those in, you know.

00:47:34.469 --> 00:47:36.730
And not all abandoned. I'm pretty sure at any

00:47:36.730 --> 00:47:38.809
moment now, someone's going to come and disturb

00:47:38.809 --> 00:47:40.489
us. Oh, they look like they're relaxing in a

00:47:40.489 --> 00:47:44.190
nice spot on their own. I will go and sit over

00:47:44.190 --> 00:47:46.130
there as well. We've seen quite a few people

00:47:46.130 --> 00:47:47.849
coming out of the museum looking directly at

00:47:47.849 --> 00:47:50.630
us, chilling in this quiet area. Yeah, I think

00:47:50.630 --> 00:47:52.650
we have picked the biggest archway to sit under.

00:47:53.259 --> 00:47:56.000
willow wise because we've got a big picnic bench

00:47:56.000 --> 00:47:57.880
on a on another bench there's some that don't

00:47:57.880 --> 00:47:59.800
have benches they're just little nooks there's

00:47:59.800 --> 00:48:02.079
a chap went past and the bike directly eyeballing

00:48:02.079 --> 00:48:04.280
us as well you've got a bench right there on

00:48:04.280 --> 00:48:06.119
the on the hill if you want to sit there yeah

00:48:06.119 --> 00:48:08.780
there's millions of daisies out on the hill on

00:48:08.780 --> 00:48:13.119
the way up to the museum it's like the museum

00:48:13.119 --> 00:48:16.119
is like a big square turret i guess a big square

00:48:16.119 --> 00:48:19.460
castle with little turrets on top take a photo

00:48:19.460 --> 00:48:22.860
after a little picnic yeah on top of a grassy

00:48:22.860 --> 00:48:26.460
knoll and the grassy knoll is absolutely plastered

00:48:26.460 --> 00:48:29.900
in really big were they bullseye daisies the

00:48:29.900 --> 00:48:32.039
big ones called i don't know i can't remember

00:48:32.039 --> 00:48:34.699
big daisies i think dog daisies are the even

00:48:34.699 --> 00:48:38.159
bigger ones aren't they i have no idea dog daisy

00:48:38.159 --> 00:48:40.280
sounds like something you do rather than something

00:48:40.280 --> 00:48:43.119
it is clearly not botanists come to the wrong

00:48:43.119 --> 00:48:50.190
podcast for that yeah botany not ours. It's nice,

00:48:50.329 --> 00:48:52.750
peaceful. Can you hear the church bells in the

00:48:52.750 --> 00:48:55.429
background? I don't know if that's standard Sunday

00:48:55.429 --> 00:48:58.449
service or if it's someone getting married. It

00:48:58.449 --> 00:49:01.090
sounds like wedding bells. Been pealing for a

00:49:01.090 --> 00:49:06.309
while. Yeah. Can you hear all the little birdies,

00:49:06.329 --> 00:49:07.809
all the blackbirds singing away to themselves?

00:49:10.389 --> 00:49:11.989
What's the plan for the rest of the day anyway?

00:49:12.409 --> 00:49:14.469
Well, we need to see if we can find where the

00:49:14.469 --> 00:49:18.090
Abergavenny Chronicles are located. I've got

00:49:18.090 --> 00:49:20.429
no other clue. I thought it would take longer

00:49:20.429 --> 00:49:23.269
to get here, I'll be honest. Is this, what, about

00:49:23.269 --> 00:49:26.929
50 minutes from where? Oh no, the walk. Oh, the

00:49:26.929 --> 00:49:28.969
walk. Yeah, I thought it might take just a little

00:49:28.969 --> 00:49:32.469
bit longer. I see. No, no idea what we're going

00:49:32.469 --> 00:49:40.619
to do next. Nearly at the end. Nearly at the

00:49:40.619 --> 00:49:44.260
end. I'm dying slowly. I'll make this as brief

00:49:44.260 --> 00:49:50.199
as possible. This is the Reader's Digest Mysteries

00:49:50.199 --> 00:49:53.699
of the Unexplained. How ordinary men and women

00:49:53.699 --> 00:49:57.579
have experienced the strange, the uncanny and...

00:49:57.929 --> 00:50:01.969
The Incredible. I got this from the YMCA in Llanelli

00:50:01.969 --> 00:50:04.849
at the same time that we were raiding the Disney

00:50:04.849 --> 00:50:07.909
book collection from a fortnight ago. And this

00:50:07.909 --> 00:50:10.849
was also in the free box, so I can't complain.

00:50:11.110 --> 00:50:15.510
This is a 1988 reprint with corrections. The

00:50:15.510 --> 00:50:19.849
initial version ran from 1982 onwards. I think

00:50:19.849 --> 00:50:22.710
there were a couple of subsequent reprints. And

00:50:22.710 --> 00:50:26.030
out of all of the sections in the book, I have

00:50:26.030 --> 00:50:30.190
picked the... A little bit about spontaneous

00:50:30.190 --> 00:50:35.010
human combustion in the unearthly fate section.

00:50:35.429 --> 00:50:38.489
This looks an awful lot like one of the books

00:50:38.489 --> 00:50:45.210
my grandmother had. I wonder if she just had

00:50:45.210 --> 00:50:47.789
a different edition of it. Is the picture of

00:50:47.789 --> 00:50:53.010
the burnt chair with just the feet there? Maybe.

00:50:53.389 --> 00:50:57.030
I don't know. I didn't look at every single page.

00:50:57.210 --> 00:50:58.969
I've picked out a couple of stories from the

00:50:58.969 --> 00:51:02.590
section. Okay. So the reason this book is coming

00:51:02.590 --> 00:51:05.710
back is because it's full of stuff I love. It's

00:51:05.710 --> 00:51:07.289
in good condition. It's in really good nick.

00:51:07.369 --> 00:51:09.269
I definitely think it was either someone's coffee

00:51:09.269 --> 00:51:12.110
table book or someone's bookshelf book that maybe

00:51:12.110 --> 00:51:14.050
got thumbed through once or twice, but that was

00:51:14.050 --> 00:51:19.059
about it. But... It covers a whole host of stuff

00:51:19.059 --> 00:51:22.659
that makes me happy. So the first section is

00:51:22.659 --> 00:51:24.539
just like the introduction. It's called The Endless

00:51:24.539 --> 00:51:28.099
Search for Answers. Then there's Beyond the Walls

00:51:28.099 --> 00:51:40.360
of Time. Unearthly Fates. Monsters and More.

00:51:41.519 --> 00:51:51.000
I was waiting for a noise. You can do a voice

00:51:51.000 --> 00:51:57.019
for the next one. The unquiet sky. No, I can't

00:51:57.019 --> 00:51:59.679
do ejections. Fair enough. No UFO impressions

00:51:59.679 --> 00:52:05.110
or anything. I've got a bad throat. And then

00:52:05.110 --> 00:52:07.530
the Realm of Miracles. I'm not entirely sure.

00:52:07.849 --> 00:52:11.849
Yeah. Angel singing noise. Good shout. So anyway,

00:52:11.949 --> 00:52:14.230
after all of that. So this will come back because

00:52:14.230 --> 00:52:17.750
I will find more stories that suit my kink in

00:52:17.750 --> 00:52:22.570
here for weird shit. Okay. So unearthly fates.

00:52:23.309 --> 00:52:27.489
Unearthly indeed is the fate of bursting into

00:52:27.489 --> 00:52:31.469
flame without. benefit of ignition from any known

00:52:31.469 --> 00:52:34.889
source an occurrence shared by an impressive

00:52:34.889 --> 00:52:37.889
number of unfortunates another manifestation

00:52:37.889 --> 00:52:41.809
of attack by agencies unknown is the rash of

00:52:41.809 --> 00:52:45.309
cattle mutilations on western ranches the explanations

00:52:45.309 --> 00:52:47.869
for which are as strange as the events themselves

00:52:47.869 --> 00:52:52.050
examples of demonic possession and curses that

00:52:52.050 --> 00:52:55.590
can kill are almost too fanciful to believe in

00:52:55.590 --> 00:52:59.030
the minds of the victims their power is all too

00:52:59.030 --> 00:53:03.829
real unearthly also are the cases of people who

00:53:03.829 --> 00:53:07.429
appear seemingly from nowhere and those who suddenly

00:53:07.429 --> 00:53:13.269
and inexplicably disappear into the unknown adam's

00:53:13.269 --> 00:53:15.889
looking at his phone i was just trying to find

00:53:15.889 --> 00:53:19.170
which member of spinal tap spontaneously combusted

00:53:19.170 --> 00:53:26.469
sorry which members so i what i've done is just

00:53:26.469 --> 00:53:30.480
highlight for myself two little sections from

00:53:30.480 --> 00:53:33.239
the introduction of spontaneous human combustion

00:53:33.239 --> 00:53:37.000
and then two very short stories so this is page

00:53:37.000 --> 00:53:40.940
80 of the book it's quite a long book yeah there's

00:53:42.320 --> 00:53:46.820
300 pages or so? So, spontaneous human combustion

00:53:46.820 --> 00:53:51.019
is a well -documented phenomenon in which a human

00:53:51.019 --> 00:53:53.739
body ignites and burns without any known contact

00:53:53.739 --> 00:53:57.360
with an external source of fire. In some cases,

00:53:57.360 --> 00:54:00.239
damage is slight. In others, the victim is reduced

00:54:00.239 --> 00:54:03.239
to ashes. And in some of the strangest cases,

00:54:03.639 --> 00:54:07.519
nearby objects escape relatively unscathed. The

00:54:07.519 --> 00:54:09.900
chair or bed on which the victim was sitting

00:54:09.900 --> 00:54:12.429
or lying and even the clothes on the child's

00:54:12.429 --> 00:54:16.130
body may be undamaged or only slightly singed

00:54:16.130 --> 00:54:20.409
often to a single foot a leg or the tips of some

00:54:20.409 --> 00:54:23.269
fingers remain intact although the rest of the

00:54:23.269 --> 00:54:28.110
body is consumed cases of spontaneous human combustion

00:54:28.110 --> 00:54:35.619
SHC in brackets began to appear in medical reports

00:54:35.619 --> 00:54:39.119
as far back as the 17th century and by the 20th

00:54:39.119 --> 00:54:42.739
century the literature abounded in detailed accounts

00:54:42.739 --> 00:54:47.079
of inexplicable human incineration. Over a span

00:54:47.079 --> 00:54:50.079
of four centuries more than 200 such incidents

00:54:50.079 --> 00:54:54.309
have been reported. Skip to the next bit. It

00:54:54.309 --> 00:54:56.150
is a lot more popular than you'd think. Yeah,

00:54:56.170 --> 00:54:58.789
I know. To be honest, I don't think I'd mind

00:54:58.789 --> 00:55:01.650
being a spontaneous human combustion mystery

00:55:01.650 --> 00:55:05.389
case. Oh, in theory. I mean, nobody's written

00:55:05.389 --> 00:55:08.369
around to say, Jenny just went up in flames.

00:55:08.869 --> 00:55:12.070
Wouldn't stop screaming. Wouldn't stop playing

00:55:12.070 --> 00:55:14.369
with matches, that stupid bitch. I told her for

00:55:14.369 --> 00:55:16.329
months she was going to get herself into trouble.

00:55:16.489 --> 00:55:18.230
There's no source of ignition, remember? Yeah,

00:55:18.389 --> 00:55:20.190
but the match will have burnt up with the body.

00:55:20.250 --> 00:55:22.389
There'd be no evidence left if it was all ash.

00:55:22.969 --> 00:55:25.530
No, no, it's all magic. They just go up. It's

00:55:25.530 --> 00:55:28.690
all woo -woo. Okay, so I've picked two stories

00:55:28.690 --> 00:55:31.590
from the before 1800 timeline. Clothes were a

00:55:31.590 --> 00:55:35.050
lot more staticky back then. They were, well,

00:55:35.429 --> 00:55:38.949
a lot heavier back then. Okay, so before 1800,

00:55:39.090 --> 00:55:42.349
one of the earliest well -attested cases of spontaneous

00:55:42.349 --> 00:55:46.469
human combustion was recorded by Thomas Bartholin

00:55:46.469 --> 00:55:52.519
in 1673. A... Poor, in brackets, woman of the

00:55:52.519 --> 00:55:57.119
people. probably homeless was mysteriously consumed

00:55:57.119 --> 00:56:00.980
by fire in paris she had been a heavy drinker

00:56:00.980 --> 00:56:04.360
of in inverted commas strong spirits to the point

00:56:04.360 --> 00:56:07.039
of not taking any nourishment for three years

00:56:07.039 --> 00:56:10.099
one evening she went to sleep on a straw pallet

00:56:10.099 --> 00:56:13.000
and was burned up during the night in the morning

00:56:13.000 --> 00:56:15.639
only her head and the ends of her fingers were

00:56:15.639 --> 00:56:18.199
found all of the rest of her body was reduced

00:56:18.199 --> 00:56:21.539
to ashes the incident was recounted by pierre

00:56:22.039 --> 00:56:27.280
Amé Lair, who in 1800 published his first comprehensive

00:56:27.280 --> 00:56:30.260
essay on the subject of human combustion. I think

00:56:30.260 --> 00:56:33.300
that was murder. American Medicine, 9 -6 -2 -7,

00:56:33.420 --> 00:56:36.460
April 22, 1905. I think someone burned that poor

00:56:36.460 --> 00:56:40.980
woman alive. Murder. There's been a murder. But

00:56:40.980 --> 00:56:43.440
I guess the implication is she drank so much

00:56:43.440 --> 00:56:46.440
spirit that she just combusted from... Fumes

00:56:46.440 --> 00:56:49.559
inside. ...being so highly flammable that being

00:56:49.559 --> 00:56:51.780
near to something that was mildly warm just caused

00:56:51.780 --> 00:56:55.280
it to go... Okay, next one and last one. I'll

00:56:55.280 --> 00:56:56.679
keep this short. I'm not going to read the entire

00:56:56.679 --> 00:56:58.579
story. I've just picked out the first section.

00:56:58.880 --> 00:57:02.860
An unusually vivid and detailed report of inexplicable

00:57:02.860 --> 00:57:06.860
human incarceration was given by Claude Nicholas

00:57:06.860 --> 00:57:13.219
Le Cat, not Le Chat. human incarceration an unusually

00:57:13.219 --> 00:57:15.980
vivid and detailed report of inexplicable human

00:57:15.980 --> 00:57:19.780
incineration got it right that time incineration

00:57:19.780 --> 00:57:23.360
Karen not incarceration feel free to not remove

00:57:23.360 --> 00:57:25.099
the edit by the way I'm quite happy for people

00:57:25.099 --> 00:57:29.150
to know how much of a dick I am Incineration

00:57:29.150 --> 00:57:32.570
was given by Claude -Nicolas Lecat, a physician

00:57:32.570 --> 00:57:36.429
serving as an apprentice surgeon in Rheims, France,

00:57:36.769 --> 00:57:40.230
where he stayed at a local inn. The innkeeper,

00:57:40.409 --> 00:57:45.230
Jean Millet, had a nagging wife who got drunk

00:57:45.230 --> 00:57:48.579
every day. This is funny. This is another alcohol

00:57:48.579 --> 00:57:52.820
story. On the night of February 19th, 1725, the

00:57:52.820 --> 00:57:55.619
inn was full of people in anticipation of a big

00:57:55.619 --> 00:57:59.119
fair the next day. Millet and his wife, Nicole,

00:57:59.579 --> 00:58:03.820
retired early. Madame Millet could not sleep

00:58:03.820 --> 00:58:06.340
and got up to go downstairs into the kitchen,

00:58:06.519 --> 00:58:09.659
probably to follow her usual habit of drinking

00:58:09.659 --> 00:58:13.960
herself insensible in front of a warm fire. Her

00:58:13.960 --> 00:58:17.239
husband fell asleep. Around two o 'clock in the

00:58:17.239 --> 00:58:20.099
morning, he woke up with a start. He smelled

00:58:20.099 --> 00:58:22.519
fire and rushed downstairs, banging on the doors

00:58:22.519 --> 00:58:24.800
along the way to wake up any sleeping guests.

00:58:25.059 --> 00:58:27.960
When the panicked group arrived in the big kitchen,

00:58:28.119 --> 00:58:30.780
what they found burning was not the inn, but

00:58:30.780 --> 00:58:34.659
innkeeper's wife, Madame Millet. She was lying

00:58:34.659 --> 00:58:38.940
close to the fireplace, hmm, suspect, and was

00:58:38.940 --> 00:58:43.300
almost totally consumed. by fire only part of

00:58:43.300 --> 00:58:46.659
her head and her lower limbs and a few vertebrae

00:58:46.659 --> 00:58:49.659
remained a small section of the flooring under

00:58:49.659 --> 00:58:52.900
her body had been burned through and a chair

00:58:52.900 --> 00:58:57.099
she usually sat on next to the fireplace was

00:58:57.099 --> 00:58:59.659
slightly scorched but nothing else in the room

00:58:59.659 --> 00:59:03.800
was touched by fire I think it was an ember landing

00:59:03.800 --> 00:59:05.920
on her clothes which were particularly flammable

00:59:05.920 --> 00:59:09.559
I wonder I mean like they say they retired early

00:59:09.559 --> 00:59:13.260
for the night And she gets up and goes downstairs

00:59:13.260 --> 00:59:16.219
for a drink like she normally does. But like

00:59:16.219 --> 00:59:18.019
I get up at two o 'clock in the morning for a

00:59:18.019 --> 00:59:19.980
cup of tea because I'm wide awake like normal.

00:59:21.139 --> 00:59:23.900
And so say they go to bed. What would you reckon

00:59:23.900 --> 00:59:28.239
early would be in 1725? Like 3 p .m., 4 p .m.?

00:59:28.969 --> 00:59:31.750
No, they're innkeepers, aren't they? What time

00:59:31.750 --> 00:59:35.469
of year was it as well? Yeah, February. It was

00:59:35.469 --> 00:59:38.349
winter, February 1725. I think you're probably

00:59:38.349 --> 00:59:40.610
still looking at maybe 8 o 'clock at night. Yeah,

00:59:40.610 --> 00:59:42.889
even if they've gone to bed at 8 o 'clock, I'm

00:59:42.889 --> 00:59:46.610
sure if she'd set herself alight deliberately

00:59:46.610 --> 00:59:51.050
at 8pm in the kitchen and they got down, the

00:59:51.050 --> 00:59:53.809
husband and everyone ran downstairs at 2am, I

00:59:53.809 --> 00:59:57.980
don't think four hours is enough. time to burn

00:59:57.980 --> 01:00:00.980
the vast majority of a human body down to ash

01:00:00.980 --> 01:00:04.800
in just a general fire consumption situation

01:00:04.800 --> 01:00:08.039
like there's no there's nothing else it's just

01:00:08.039 --> 01:00:11.079
that basically the fat on her body that's providing

01:00:11.079 --> 01:00:14.400
the fuel for the fire wick effect yeah not the

01:00:14.400 --> 01:00:18.219
john wick effect no that's very different so

01:00:18.219 --> 01:00:21.159
yeah i don't think four hours is enough like

01:00:21.159 --> 01:00:24.059
i'm pretty sure it Takes about four hours to

01:00:24.059 --> 01:00:26.980
cremate a whole body now in the incinerators

01:00:26.980 --> 01:00:29.599
that we have. But you're forgetting how much,

01:00:29.619 --> 01:00:34.980
how much she drank. All of these lushes that

01:00:34.980 --> 01:00:37.460
go near fires and just trying to get comfortable.

01:00:37.739 --> 01:00:41.900
Pure alcohol. Exploding from the inside out in

01:00:41.900 --> 01:00:46.429
the night. So, yeah, so... Don't drink, ladies.

01:00:46.449 --> 01:00:50.050
There's quite a few stories of very drunk women

01:00:50.050 --> 01:00:56.909
somehow just spontaneously whooshing into non

01:00:56.909 --> 01:00:58.889
-existence. Yeah, I think these circumstances

01:00:58.889 --> 01:01:00.969
are a little bit more suspicious than they're

01:01:00.969 --> 01:01:03.630
being reported as. But there's loads... I didn't

01:01:03.630 --> 01:01:05.469
set my wife on fire. I didn't set fire to that

01:01:05.469 --> 01:01:07.989
whore in the shed. Yeah. Case of spontaneous

01:01:07.989 --> 01:01:09.210
combustion. I don't know if she was when they

01:01:09.210 --> 01:01:10.969
said a woman of the people. I don't know if that's

01:01:10.969 --> 01:01:13.210
how they meant. Oh, this is an interesting section.

01:01:13.469 --> 01:01:15.610
Right, okay. I didn't read this far through the

01:01:15.610 --> 01:01:18.730
book. Spontaneous human combustion is not a phenomenon

01:01:18.730 --> 01:01:21.659
recognised by 20th century science. It is not

01:01:21.659 --> 01:01:25.079
listed in International Classification of Diseases

01:01:25.079 --> 01:01:27.719
compiled by the World Health Organization, nor

01:01:27.719 --> 01:01:30.559
is it a subject heading in the Index Medicus,

01:01:30.559 --> 01:01:34.260
the National Library of Medicine's Index of Biomedical

01:01:34.260 --> 01:01:37.360
Literature. Despite the evidence of police and

01:01:37.360 --> 01:01:40.139
fire authorities, arson specialists, coroners

01:01:40.139 --> 01:01:42.739
and pathologists, most doctors and scientists

01:01:42.739 --> 01:01:46.199
regard seemingly... indisputable cases as simply

01:01:46.199 --> 01:01:49.539
not thoroughly investigated however such skepticism

01:01:49.539 --> 01:01:52.699
was not always prevalent the 17th and 18th century

01:01:52.699 --> 01:01:55.300
spontaneous combustion especially for drunkards

01:01:55.300 --> 01:01:59.280
was regarded as divine retribution but by the

01:01:59.280 --> 01:02:02.019
19th century advances in biology and chemistry

01:02:02.019 --> 01:02:04.719
encouraged researchers to look for more mundane

01:02:04.719 --> 01:02:07.820
causes for these seemingly inexplicable fires

01:02:07.820 --> 01:02:10.500
a number of additional possibilities were suggested

01:02:10.500 --> 01:02:13.920
that alone or in various combinations amount

01:02:13.920 --> 01:02:15.960
to such bizarre occurrences. I'll just give you

01:02:15.960 --> 01:02:17.400
this quick list. I won't read the rest of it.

01:02:17.420 --> 01:02:19.619
What sort of proof alcohol were they drinking

01:02:19.619 --> 01:02:22.219
at the time? Well, fuck knows. Was there just

01:02:22.219 --> 01:02:24.440
wine or were they thinking methylated spirits?

01:02:24.780 --> 01:02:27.280
It's probably the equivalent of meth back then.

01:02:27.420 --> 01:02:30.219
I can't imagine the distilling process was that

01:02:30.219 --> 01:02:31.619
fancy in the 17th century. But wasn't the first

01:02:31.619 --> 01:02:34.679
lady in France? Yeah, she was fucked off her

01:02:34.679 --> 01:02:37.800
face on liquor. They know how to make wine. They

01:02:37.800 --> 01:02:40.460
do. They're famous for it. Yeah, but what if

01:02:40.460 --> 01:02:46.380
you don't like wine? What's the orange lick here?

01:02:46.820 --> 01:02:49.920
Cointreau, that's French. Reaching there. Un

01:02:49.920 --> 01:02:54.079
Cointreau double, s 'il vous plaît. Avec Luminard

01:02:54.079 --> 01:02:59.050
Pschitt. Sylvus Platt. Sylvus Platt. Murky bucket.

01:02:59.309 --> 01:03:02.369
Yeah, that's the one. So, quick list of potential

01:03:02.369 --> 01:03:05.250
suspects for causing spontaneous human combustion.

01:03:05.710 --> 01:03:09.190
Intestinal gases are flammable. Cadavers produce

01:03:09.190 --> 01:03:12.230
gases that are flammable. Haystacks and compost

01:03:12.230 --> 01:03:14.730
heaps can build up enough heat for spontaneous

01:03:14.730 --> 01:03:18.800
combustion. Certain elements and compounds spontaneously

01:03:18.800 --> 01:03:21.579
burst into flames when exposed to air. This is

01:03:21.579 --> 01:03:25.000
true of phosphorus, for example, which is a constituent

01:03:25.000 --> 01:03:28.699
of the human body. Some chemicals that are inert

01:03:28.699 --> 01:03:33.420
alone combine to form explosive compounds. The

01:03:33.420 --> 01:03:37.739
luminescence emitted by certain insects and fishes

01:03:37.739 --> 01:03:42.139
proves the possibility of internal... fire in

01:03:42.139 --> 01:03:45.800
brackets of some kind fats and oils which the

01:03:45.800 --> 01:03:48.260
human body contains in abundance are excellent

01:03:48.260 --> 01:03:51.300
fuels static electricity produces sparks that

01:03:51.300 --> 01:03:54.219
could under certain conditions set a body on

01:03:54.219 --> 01:03:57.760
fire especially with the type of clothing they

01:03:57.760 --> 01:04:00.960
might have had back then well you know I think

01:04:00.960 --> 01:04:03.199
stories about spontaneous human combustion were

01:04:03.199 --> 01:04:05.519
things that I heard about in unsolved mysteries

01:04:05.519 --> 01:04:09.340
and stuff in the 1980s, 1990s on TV. Bit like

01:04:09.340 --> 01:04:11.860
quicksand and things you don't really see anymore

01:04:11.860 --> 01:04:14.780
that if you're from our generation, you are petrified

01:04:14.780 --> 01:04:17.699
of as a child. But as an adult, these things

01:04:17.699 --> 01:04:20.400
just don't seem to exist anymore. Like no one

01:04:20.400 --> 01:04:22.340
really talks about quicksand anymore like it's

01:04:22.340 --> 01:04:23.659
the most dangerous thing in the world. But when

01:04:23.659 --> 01:04:27.340
I was a kid on the beach, I was. Petrified. But

01:04:27.340 --> 01:04:30.420
actual dangerous things. Nobody's talking about,

01:04:30.460 --> 01:04:32.980
like, playing next to substations, going across

01:04:32.980 --> 01:04:36.239
railway lines. That's true. Water near quarries.

01:04:36.239 --> 01:04:39.800
Bring those PSAs back. Yeah, I miss PSAs. I used

01:04:39.800 --> 01:04:42.480
to quite enjoy them. crossing the road and stuff

01:04:42.480 --> 01:04:44.639
like that especially now with people head down

01:04:44.639 --> 01:04:47.820
on their mobile phones they don't look PSAs need

01:04:47.820 --> 01:04:49.980
to be brought back they really do and I tell

01:04:49.980 --> 01:04:52.460
you what not once did I climb into a substation

01:04:52.460 --> 01:04:55.000
after seeing that PSA no no that frisbee's gone

01:04:55.000 --> 01:04:58.199
fucking fuck the frisbee fuck the kite whatever

01:04:58.199 --> 01:05:00.880
it was it can stay there because I would rather

01:05:00.880 --> 01:05:11.380
be alive thanks Well, you lovely, beautiful,

01:05:11.679 --> 01:05:15.199
gorgeous. Excuse my box making weird noises.

01:05:15.380 --> 01:05:20.579
Phrasing. Smelly bar stewards. You've made it

01:05:20.579 --> 01:05:25.920
to the end of our 25th episode. And I've worked

01:05:25.920 --> 01:05:29.139
out that in roughly six weeks, Adam and I will

01:05:29.139 --> 01:05:32.219
be. if I've worked it out correctly, recording

01:05:32.219 --> 01:05:34.699
our one year anniversary episode. Our oneiversary.

01:05:35.039 --> 01:05:38.599
Our oneiversary. So I have put it in my calendar

01:05:38.599 --> 01:05:41.699
as a reminder to myself for two weeks before

01:05:41.699 --> 01:05:45.000
the date that it's supposed to be released. So

01:05:45.000 --> 01:05:47.579
hopefully we'll actually get an anniversary celebratory

01:05:47.579 --> 01:05:50.039
thing out on the week that it's meant to be as

01:05:50.039 --> 01:05:51.940
opposed to like Christmas and it was like three

01:05:51.940 --> 01:05:54.500
weeks after or whatever. I was going to say the

01:05:54.500 --> 01:05:56.340
furthest I was going to go is I'll make sure

01:05:56.340 --> 01:05:59.079
to mention it on that episode then. When you

01:05:59.079 --> 01:06:01.739
put it in your calendar. Oh, no, no. Do something.

01:06:02.019 --> 01:06:05.219
I might present you with a challenge or something.

01:06:05.860 --> 01:06:09.139
I will have nothing beyond the usual prepared.

01:06:09.219 --> 01:06:11.159
I'm not going to do anything special. I don't

01:06:11.159 --> 01:06:12.760
celebrate my birthday. I'm not celebrating the

01:06:12.760 --> 01:06:16.280
birthday of something inanimate. Oh, God. I know,

01:06:16.340 --> 01:06:22.360
but it's for the listeners. Listeners. You cannot

01:06:22.360 --> 01:06:25.079
care more about this podcast than me. If I don't

01:06:25.079 --> 01:06:29.380
care, you cannot care about our birthday. That's

01:06:29.380 --> 01:06:31.579
going to be really weird if you care more about

01:06:31.579 --> 01:06:35.500
it than me. But I care. They can care for me.

01:06:36.099 --> 01:06:38.059
You can only care about it as much as Karen.

01:06:38.159 --> 01:06:39.400
Oh, that's still going to be a lot. You can only

01:06:39.400 --> 01:06:42.780
50 % care about it. Yeah, only half -ass it.

01:06:42.980 --> 01:06:47.579
Yeah, that's fine. One cheek, no more. Oh. I

01:06:47.579 --> 01:06:51.300
guess Karen can get to choose. Left. There we

01:06:51.300 --> 01:06:53.719
go. Left cheek, please. All about compromises.

01:06:53.900 --> 01:06:58.159
Yeah. We are part of the Studio Channel 84 network,

01:06:58.340 --> 01:07:01.760
a small group of indie podcasts. There's the

01:07:01.760 --> 01:07:04.840
Variety Show, the Untitled Sci -Fi Show, and

01:07:04.840 --> 01:07:07.360
Who Takes the Socks Off? plus their mini -sodes,

01:07:07.500 --> 01:07:10.719
Socks On or Off, where guests get to spin the

01:07:10.719 --> 01:07:13.500
wheel of would -you -rathers. Check them out,

01:07:13.539 --> 01:07:16.969
have a listen, subscribe, tell a friend. And

01:07:16.969 --> 01:07:21.090
you can find us all at channel84 .co .uk. Our

01:07:21.090 --> 01:07:24.030
bit of the site is likelyused .co .uk. We've

01:07:24.030 --> 01:07:27.230
got blog posts, photographs of our tats, links

01:07:27.230 --> 01:07:30.550
to likely used news articles in the Ebbekeveni

01:07:30.550 --> 01:07:33.650
Chronicle. And if we can find them, we'll link

01:07:33.650 --> 01:07:36.570
to the bibliotep book on the Internet Archive

01:07:36.570 --> 01:07:39.809
as well. Also, there's links to our socials.

01:07:39.889 --> 01:07:43.699
I'll go through them now. Blue Sky, Instagram.

01:07:43.960 --> 01:07:48.139
We've got the Facebook thing. YouTube. Twitter.

01:07:48.340 --> 01:07:51.840
Twitter. And do we do Discord? There is a Discord.

01:07:51.840 --> 01:07:54.599
There is a Discord, but I'm really rubbish at

01:07:54.599 --> 01:07:57.760
it. And I think maybe only other network members

01:07:57.760 --> 01:08:02.219
and Matt from APOC are in it. I don't know what

01:08:02.219 --> 01:08:06.519
it's about. It's fine. I post notifications of

01:08:06.519 --> 01:08:08.820
new episodes on there and there's a forum for

01:08:08.820 --> 01:08:11.559
other people that... you know produce things

01:08:11.559 --> 01:08:14.719
creatively their own podcasts or their own youtube

01:08:14.719 --> 01:08:17.079
videos or whatever they can promote themselves

01:08:17.079 --> 01:08:19.479
on there as well it just creates a little community

01:08:19.479 --> 01:08:21.739
space so it's all to go oh well done i enjoyed

01:08:21.739 --> 01:08:24.539
that i'm sorry i'm not social on the internet

01:08:24.539 --> 01:08:27.850
at all that's fine That's fine. Thank you all

01:08:27.850 --> 01:08:29.710
very much for taking part. You're much better

01:08:29.710 --> 01:08:33.050
people than me. And me, probably. No, no, you're

01:08:33.050 --> 01:08:34.470
the one posting everything on there. You've got

01:08:34.470 --> 01:08:37.729
a Facebook. If it wasn't for you, we'd have no

01:08:37.729 --> 01:08:41.609
listeners at all. I don't know. No, I do know.

01:08:43.650 --> 01:08:45.470
People only listen out of sympathy, I'm sure.

01:08:45.510 --> 01:08:47.449
It's like, oh, we know Karen. I feel obliged.

01:08:47.750 --> 01:08:50.689
All right, we'll listen. Works for me. I know

01:08:50.689 --> 01:08:52.829
my dad genuinely enjoys it, but I'm sure everyone

01:08:52.829 --> 01:08:54.689
else listens out of obligation. If you don't

01:08:54.689 --> 01:08:56.729
listen out of obligation but enjoyment, please

01:08:56.729 --> 01:09:00.390
feel free to drop us a line at... Pods at lightlyused

01:09:00.390 --> 01:09:03.649
.co .uk, but Ed will say that in a moment at

01:09:03.649 --> 01:09:05.569
the end of the show. There we are. Thanks, Ed.

01:09:06.310 --> 01:09:10.090
Adam and Karen have been lightly used. Visit

01:09:10.090 --> 01:09:13.449
lightlyused .co .uk for more. To get in touch,

01:09:13.590 --> 01:09:23.829
email pod at lightlyused .co .uk. Before we move

01:09:23.829 --> 01:09:28.130
on to lightly used news. Stop throwing your pen

01:09:28.130 --> 01:09:30.250
around. I've got to stop playing with my pen.

01:09:30.289 --> 01:09:32.949
I'm fidgeting. That's because I'm talking bollocks.

01:09:33.069 --> 01:09:35.649
You're bored of me. That's because I smoke heavily.

01:09:36.970 --> 01:09:39.229
I'm used to having something to do with my hand.

01:09:41.930 --> 01:09:57.069
This was a Studio Channel 84 network show. To

01:09:57.069 --> 01:10:01.869
find more, head over to channel84 .co .uk now.