I can hear you now, and I can hear me. There
we are. One, two, one, two, three, four. Push
the button. Push the button. Push the button.
There was a film I've not been able to find.
I can't find it online. My dad got it on VHS
years and years and years ago. I think we were
in... We might have been in Telford at the time.
And it was called Raag. R -A -A -G. And it was
an animated thing. And the long and short of
it was, it was questioning existence. And then
it turns out that the people in Raag are in a
man's dream. And they've discovered that they're
in this man's dream. So then they put this plan
together to try and... get hold of the man and
bring him into the dreamland and keep him asleep
for as long as possible because they're afraid
obviously if he wakes up they'll cease to exist
not trying to escape into the real world so the
plan i thought they were gonna yeah they build
this like massive arch contraption um that they
go through that takes them into the man's bedroom
and they come back out but there's this whole
bit about them pushing a button in the library
or something. And they push this button and that's
how they discover that they're in a dream. And
that's what kicks off the whole adventure of
trying to stop themselves from not existing,
but existing in their own dream world with the
man dreaming inside their own dream world. But
anyway, it's very funny. It's a brilliant film.
What year was it, roughly? It would have been
somewhere around... 95, 96, 97. Missed me by
entirely. Yeah, but it's a wonderful film. It's
really good. But I've never been able to find
it. Dad, if you've got a copy of Raag, I don't
even know if you've pressed record, but if you
have, just in case, Dad, if you've got a copy
of Raag or you know where to find it, please
tell me because I want to show it to Adam because
it's a great film. And I don't know if you press
record. I don't know if you've got a tape recorder
to send this with. Oh, yeah, VHS player. That'd
be great. Cheers. Yeah, we are recording. Oh,
we are? Okay. Cheers. Thanks, Dad. Anyway, random
start. This is Rightly Used with Adam and Karen.
Welcome to Likely Used, episode 25. 25! 25, we
are a quarter of a century old. We're nearly
a year into doing the show. I know, yeah. That's
mad. It's easier when we're doing it fortnightly.
Yeah, that's true. Yeah, fortnightly's good.
We couldn't do it weekly. Well, if we're doing
it monthly like I'm insisting at the moment,
we'd only have to do 12 episodes to get to a
year. We're doing twice that. Do you really want
to go to monthly? A lot of the time. Otherwise
we have to buy the expensive mixer. Well, yeah.
To make it a lot easier to edit. I know, but
Tom and Rob have been bragging it takes them
like two to three hours to edit an entire episode.
I'm like, that's totally worth the investment
in my mind. Anyway, welcome to Lightly Used.
I'm Karen, he's Adam. Hello. We are back in your
ears, not in your faces, unless you're listening
slash watching this on YouTube. Yeah, what have
we been up to? Well... No, last week I said they
put the anti -static strip on Tapmobile. Do you
mean last episode? Yes, I do. Nearly a year.
Nearly a year. And I just literally a minute
ago mentioned fortnightly. And if I was less
of a bitch, I wouldn't have picked you up on
that. I'd probably still do it if we did it monthly.
So it would make even less sense. Last time.
Last time. Unlikely used. Sorry. The exciting
moment when I said I put the anti -static strip
on the Tatmobile before we went to Abergavenny.
It fell off already. I don't even think it lasted
the trip there. Oh no! There was just no room
to tighten the screws properly underneath between
where it was fastening onto and the bumper. I
can only use the glassy screwdriver. There's
only so much torque I can apply to it. They probably
rattled off. Before we got to the motorway. So
your tat is now someone else's tat, probably.
A waste of two pounds. Bastard thing. But we
did, yeah, go to Abergavenny. We did. It was
a lovely day. We decided to go on a Sunday before
bank holiday, so everything was closed. Yeah.
But there was a bike meet -up. There was. They
were doing a Macmillan rally, I think they were
raising money for. So you pointed out some very
nice bikes to me. I did point out there was a
lovely Triumph Bonneville there that, oh. Yeah,
that made me a bit melty on the inside. Making
up for your lack of two wheels from eBay. Yeah,
I know. Jackson sent me another bike to consider
the other day as well. He's like, you know, it's
nice. And I was like, yeah, it is. Anyway, carry
on. Yeah, like one owner from new. Good provenance
on the other one. That's true. That's why it
probably went for a little bit outside the price
range. I'm sure it did. It was removed from eBay.
I think he sold it outside of the auction. But
we recreated the, what we think was the walk
following the Oracle of Spikes from episode four,
possibly? Gosh, yeah, probably. Somewhere like
that. Yeah, so we walked from the Swan Meadows,
the stone circle, the Eisteddfod Stones in Swan
Meadows car park. A little bit through the town
and alongside the castle walls, I posed recreating,
pretending to climb over the wall. There's video
evidence of Adam being a ninja. Four seconds.
I'm just posing against the wall. It does look
like I'm actually trying to see if I can find
the foothold. I think my mum genuinely thought
you were climbing over the wall. She was like,
oh my God. We're trying to work out where might
Johnny Turner have climbed over. And a bit further
along, there's a much, much lower bit. Yeah,
there is. Which fits into the story of the size
of the belly. So given the size of mine, it seemed
plausible further down. If I could have managed
it, I think a semi -professional long -distance
runner could have gotten over the wall. Absolutely.
And he was a semi -professional long -distance
runner still at that point. Yeah, he wasn't fully
investigating the paranormal. No. Kind of forgot
to look around for the entrance to the underworld
when we got in the castle grounds. Yeah. Yeah,
we're in the castle. What do we do now? Oh, kind
of forgotten. Yeah, let's go find a nice bench
to sit at and talk rubbish for half an hour.
There's a nice little garden there. It was a
lovely garden, yeah. Nice and secluded, but a
lot of nosy people coming out of the castle just
looking straight at us as if we're going to go...
Let's go down there. The one place those people
are on their own. Let's go and sit in there.
But thankfully they didn't. No, they didn't.
They went the other way. We chose the one table
that was there. Yeah. The entire picnic table
for two people. Dibs. Yeah. And also last episode,
I did say I had a bit of a problem with buying
mugs when we started the pod. And I said, I haven't
bought any in months. And what did you do? The
day after recording, we went to Abergavenny.
I bought an NYPD mug in a charity shop. It's
in his hand at the moment, folks. And also when
showing off Marvin the Martian, we said, oh,
isn't hers Warner Brothers mug? We didn't say
what hers were. We mentioned that you've got
a mug. Oh, it's a Wile E. Coyote. We didn't mention
it at all. We just referred to it. Yes, I have
a Wile E. Coyote mug and my little Care Bear
that featured in a previous episode lives inside
him. So, yeah, this is an officially licensed
NYPD mug. £1 .25. And it's got a little hologram
sticker still on it. So it hasn't been used.
2017, City of New York, all rights reserved.
I think they've gone a bit overboard with the
logos. I mean, it is. Plastered. On the handle,
two logos on the inside. Yeah. And then the crest
at the bottom, the crest, the shield on either
side. And on the bottom as well. Is it on the
bottom? Oh, yeah, and on the bottom. Bloody hell.
Almost every available surface. You just need
it on the outside. Yeah. That's excessive. But
I would like to see, you know, the machine that's
been on YouTube showing the big boob thing that
prints inside of. Yes. What was the shape of
the one that prints inside there? I think it
was probably penile. Or long boob. They probably
can't show that on YouTube. Long egg. Some kind
of cross between a plantain and a boob. Also
from last week, you have a correction. I have
a correction. I must apologise to you. Mr. Adam
Court. Why? Because I insisted I was correct
about something, but you had stated what the
correct thing was. And I was like, no, no, it's
not that. It's this. Like the fucking cow that
I am. You were being a Karen. I was being a Karen.
I'm very sorry. I don't think I've ever accused
you of that before. Even in jest. I do try real
hard not to be a Karen, Karen. You are definitely
not. And I am aware of when I make mistakes and
I am happy to put my hand up to them. So I apologise
for stating that the Bark Racing at Thruxton
was on the 1st of June. I was incorrect. It was
Anglesey that was the 1st of June. And I think
the trucks and things that we watched a fortnight
ago is the 6th of June, as you have said. I did
have a look in at the Caterham Racing. Did you?
Yeah. So I apologise and very sorry. Correction.
Correction made. That's all right. not essential
but you know forgiven honest mistake um i suppose
the only other thing i've really got to talk
about it's a bit boring really but does anybody
know how to donate a body a new body to a human
Not currently. I'm sure that we've seen on YouTube
those millionaires are working on it. Yeah. Can
I have a brain swap out or something like that?
Anyway. I think you need an 18 -year -old relative.
God, I don't think I've got any of those at all.
I'd be surprised. I think they're all over that
now or significantly younger than that. But yeah,
chronic illness. I don't complain about it very
often, but I have fibromyalgia and... It sucks.
And I would really like a new body. Yeah. This
is the most fun thing I've done in a fortnight.
I've spent the last week pretty much asleep.
So new body would be nice. And apologies in advance
if my energy levels drop massively towards the
end of the episode. I can already feel myself
draining. Try and be quick. It's fine. What sort
of new body would you compromise? Would you be
happy with? Would it be a list of brain in a
jar? Preferably something better, maybe. I mean,
an upgrade would be really, really nice. Like,
even just a carbon copy of myself minus the genetic
defaults that make me shit. That would be fine.
Oh, you need a sex doll of yourself program that
you can just wear a helmet and control that around.
It's close enough to look like you, but not to
be entirely convincing that people could entirely
be fooled. Would you be happy with an uncanny
valley, Karen? Well, I just saw an interview
with Whitney Cummings, a comedian, and that was
a shtick for one of her tours. That's brilliant.
She had a robot all herself made. But, I mean,
like, you know, Mars attacks me, stick my head
on a chihuahua or something. I don't know. Oh,
the bath's fairly low then. Transfer me into
a cat. Oh, I could totally be a cat. I could
spend 16 hours of sleep a day easily. As long
as I had someone that would feed me and pet me
and clean the litter tray, I'd be very satisfied.
How long do you reckon it'd take you to work
out how to work a tail? Ooh! If that's something
you've never had before, if your entire body,
yourself as you, has been transplanted into a
cat. I guess it would, yeah, I mean, it would
effectively be like learning to walk again. Like
if you'd had a massive accident or a trauma that
had prevented you from being able to use your
body the way you had previously, then be transferred
into something that could move. but moved entirely
differently, I think that would take a bit of
getting used to. I imagine I would have great
fun learning how to use my tail. And then also
once you've learned how to use it, it's getting
used to it. Shit, it's out the corner of my eye.
Yeah, oh my God. Life does that. That would explain
it if a cat, that's the first time having a tail,
but you see cats do that all the time. It's been
with you for life. Yeah, life does that to me
all the time. Maybe I am a cat. Maybe I am the
ghost of a cat in a human body and the things
that I see out of the corner of my eyes is my
cat tail, but it's not like proper, you know,
it's not built proper like the rest of me. It's
in spirit form. So I'm not seeing a random ghost.
I'm literally seeing myself. Oh my God, I'm a
cat. Trapped in a person's body. Yeah. I've got
a whole new outlook on life. I would explain
how much you hate the tummy tickles. Not as much
as you. And when you go after the sunbeams. I
do like lying in a sunbeam. I'm like, that's
it. I'm a ghost cat in a human body. There we
are. We've figured it out. That's it. I don't
need to discover anything more in life now. Only
how to relax as the ghost cat in a human body.
And now how to become a robo cat. and also working
at working at retractable claws as well oh yeah
i mean i do like i i do quite i used to chew
my nails off terribly but um i stopped doing
it a couple years ago and now i'm obsessed with
keeping my nails in decent condition instead
of removing them as much as possible now it's
like got to have a buffer on me constantly let's
really start sort of so maybe that's the carpet
to stuff then we'll start worrying i can't do
it There we are. Dan the Mike Shield. I do have
a bit of a question for you. Oh, go for it. Fire
away. Since we both watch YouTube round each
other's houses, we've both kind of mixed up our
algorithms a bit. One vid I saw in my sidebar
was from Ghost Theory. Oh, yay! Love Ghost Theory.
No, I didn't watch it. It had a hilarious title.
It was like two hours. And from what I've seen
round your house, they've never found a ghost.
So I'm presuming, Yeah, why would they have found
it on this one? Or surely they'd say, we actually,
we got one, we found it. Here's a picture of
it. There was one a few weeks ago that was very
close to being extremely convincing. That would
be a legitimate use for the soy face thumbnail.
Yes, yes. Pointing at the ghost. But no, the
title of this was, Building so haunted, police
asked us to investigate. I have questions. Okay.
Why are the police involved? Is haunting a crime?
And also is the so haunted bit, is it like a
gathering over 12 could be technically a riot?
Is there an illegal number of ghosts? A clash
of ghosts. Even if it's like ghost squatters
rights, surely that's civil, not a criminal.
This is many questions in one. Okay, I guess
I would say that this property, wherever it is,
I've probably seen this video, but I can't remember
off the top of my brain. Sorry. I think it's
a recent -ish one. I would say it's probably
a building that is regularly broken into by...
local -ish people, as well as urban explorers.
And there's probably a lot of reports of activity.
These aren't crimes that the police are involved
with, as far as I know. Maybe that's got back
to the police and the police are like, oh, let's
send in some ghost hunters and see what happens.
Or maybe the police were at the building. Like
clearing people out that had broken in and were
being a little bit of a bunch of bastards. And
then weird shit happened to them. And it just
so happened that ghost theory were turning up
to do an investigation in that property. And
the police were like, ha ha, can you investigate
the building? Because weird shit's been happening
whilst we've been in there. Those are my two
theories. Yeah, I don't think the police are
actually involved in looking at ghosts in any
capacity. I don't think it's an official duty.
I think it's a misleading thumbnail title. I
think plenty of people, especially you hear about
it a lot in America, people will ring the police
because they believe their house is being broken
into. Oh yeah, that's America though. They've
got to put that on like estate agent forms. Like
this house is haunted. Yeah. I mean, you do see
police quite a lot in these airbags videos on
YouTube because they'll be in houses that are...
close to other properties that people live in.
And those people are probably used to the empty
house being broken into. So they'll ring the
police regularly and the police will turn up
and ask you to leave. But they can't arrest you
because exploring an empty, abandoned property
is a civil offence. Therefore, all they can do
is ask you politely to leave. They can't arrest
you or anything like that. Unless, of course,
you're in there stealing the copper or whatever
and they catch you in the act, then that's a
bit different. But if you're just exploring,
taking photos, doing a video, it's a civil offence,
so they just ask you to leave. But they do often
come in armed with tasers, so... Oh, that'll
show the ghosts. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Zap the ghosts.
That's the closest they can get to a proton pack.
Before we get to lightly used news... Channel
84 is a small indie podcast network started by
TJ and Rob off of the Variety Show. Off of the
Variety Show and the entitled Sci -Fi Show. There's
us. There's also Who Takes the Socks Off. Now,
the other guys, they've all been going a bit
longer than us. They've established their shows
for a while. They've got Ko -fi accounts. It
feels a bit cheeky for us setting it. We're not
even a year old. We only do it fortnightly. Yeah.
So, yeah, we did have episode 19 sponsored, though.
That's true. Kind of. Have you seen Who Takes
Socks Off page of the Channel 84 site? Oh, actually,
no, we listened to the episode. We did listen
to their episode, yeah. They've got some fancy
new media conglomerate backing them now. Yeah.
We've got art. There seems a bit of disparity
here. Yeah. Sorry, Arthur, call me out. They've
got the Crimson Urchin Media. Did you hear they
got in trouble years ago? They snuck into an
art gallery and they gaffer taped a gun to a
wall. It was loaded. The guy doing it shot himself.
Oh, fuck. It was only a graze, but it just saw
his blood and passed out. There for an hour or
so. People just thought it was part of the installation.
But being out for an hour, it's super fucking
bad for you. Yes. That's the CEO. Oh. And founder.
Oh. Hmm. Should we be worried for them? I'm not
sure if we're worried for his health, Crimson
Urchin Media as a company, or who takes the socks
off, or just worried for art, because he's got
this competition there. I just want him to know
who he's up against. Honestly, I think I'd be
more worried about Ross and Simon. I'll put some
faith in art. Gently, softly, maybe. It could
be too early to say. This was years ago. I mean,
people can change. Could have been a phase. Yeah,
maybe he was having a mental breakdown or something.
I wouldn't have gone that far. Oh, sorry. Oops.
Oh, dear. Can we get up on the show? Oh, fuck!
We forgot again! We've got more from Johnny Turnip
and friends who'd like to use that. Fuck some
sense. Take it in turns to close our eyes and
work out what we've got in Tet in the box. We've
got... Oh, have we got a game to play? Yeah.
oh you came very light to this episode I wasn't
sure what we had no do I need to break something
out from the lounge next door there's already
an option next to me in here octogo but oh yeah
I forgot it's not that one it's on the shelf
of previously played stuff that's what was Yeah,
we've done that. Yeah. And we've got your choice
of book to end the show in bibliotech this episode.
We have, and I am looking forward to telling
you about it, actually. And I think it will be
a returning feature. Oh. A returning bibliotech,
just because it's so fascinating. It'll be dipped
in and out of a few times. Yes, it can. That's
lightly news news on the way next. For some more
borrowed reportage, we turn to Tim Butters from
the Abergavenny Chronicle on Monday the 29th
of July 2024. Abergavenny Man claims aliens walk
amongst us. And Abergavenny Man has made the
bold claim that not only do aliens walk amongst
us, but they have done since medieval times.
And he also claims he'll soon have hard evidence
to back up his sensational claims. Semi -professional
paranormal investigator Johnny Turnip told the
Abergavenny Chronicle that he stumbled across
the existence of alien lifeforms by accident
when he was on a magical mystery tour to find
the final resting place of the legendary King
Arthur. A dead knight shared a vision with me
in Llandaffry, where the Great Bear was buried,
and who put him there, explained Turnip. He was
my opener, all right. You see, contrary to popular
belief, King Arthur wasn't just fighting the
Saxons. He's also battling visitors from under
the planet. Once he'd done putting the Germanic
invaders in their place, and he and the boys
were celebrating their final victory at Mons
Bodonicus with a gallon of wine or two, creepy
little aliens from outer space saw an opportunity
to make a move. The sneaky, bulbous -headed,
big -eyed freaks attacked when the knights were
sleeping off their victory hangovers. Turnip
added, The extraterrestrial bastards were ruthless.
It was absolute carnage. Half of Arthur's forces
were decimated by ray guns. The King's swordsmen,
archers, and big nutters with axes were no match
for the tech boys to run out of the planet, especially
since most of them were still half -cut from
the night before. All of this was revealed to
me in a vision by the possessed statue of Lwelyn
ap Gravid, but it gets worse. Arthur and what
remained of his troops only managed to escape
because Merlin managed to turn them into bumblebees,
then flew as a collective swarm to the safety
of Castle at Dunraven Bay, where they turned
back into men and prepared to make one last stand
in the name of humanity. As the UFOs circled
and the aliens unleashed their lasers, Arthur
and the boys put on the brave show, but they
were no match for the intergalactic colonists.
During the last pitch battle on the seafront,
Arthur was the last man standing, but he also
fell after being hit by a beam of pure light.
Here's where it gets weird. As the UFO hovered
overhead and prepared to vaporize the king, Merlin
appeared in the skies as a mighty dragon that
roared and spat out a terrible flame straight
at Arthur. The flame didn't burn the great king,
but it surrounded him. and formed this kind of
black stone which encased Arthur like a tomb.
With Arthur's body completely hidden from view,
the great rock fell into the shallow waters of
the sea, where it still stands to this day, looking
like any other rock to the uninitiated. Turnip
added, Before the vision faded, I heard Merlin
scream, The king will rise again in this isle's
darkest need. An Excalibur will lie with the
Lady of the Lake. At that moment, an image of
Tredegar Reservoir flashed in my mind, and I
realised not only did I know where King Arthur
lay, but where his sword had been dumped too.
Turnip explained that after leading his war party
to Dunraven Bay and telling him the true nature
of his vision over a supper of egg and chips
and some sugary tea, his claims were met with
some scepticism. Do you mean King Arthur's buried
in the Big Rock? said Puerto Rico Paul. Oh, do
you propose we get him out? asked Big Tony. It
could be worse. said JFK Jones. How? said Fast
Eddie. Let's just wait until we see the sort
of calibre of rock we're dealing with before
we make our play, said Turnip. Turnip told the
Chronicle that after a few hours' kip, he led
them to the foot of King Arthur's Rock in dawn's
unforgiving light. He later admitted, As we grimly
drank lager from a cans, looked at the waves
crashing against the big black rock and imagined
King Arthur's corpse rotting away within, all
hope of restoring the once and future king's
throne faded fast. Big Tony suggested we could
potentially use dynamite to free the monarch,
but I snapped, think of the human cost, Torn,
besides which we'd blow Arthur up along with
a rock. Puerto Rico Paul suggested using magic,
and even offered to contact his mum Paulie, or
the Witch of Tudor Street as she's more commonly
known, to see if she knew any spells or enchantments
that would work. I just sighed, is this high
magic we're dealing with here, Paul? Merlin's
perhaps the most famous magician of all time,
even bigger than David Blaine. A little disrespect
to him either, but... She made a name telling
fortunes in a caravan. I don't think she's up
for the job. As we all just nodded our heads
sagely and gazed intensely at the rock, swigging
on the cans and getting wary looks from assorted
day -trippers, I had an Eureka moment. It's the
sword in the stone! I shrieked. What is? said
Big Tony. There are a current dream I've had
since the youngster of me pulling a sword from
a stone and everyone chanting the name Turnip
over and over again. This is that stone! I said,
jumping on a slippery rock and nearly losing
my footing and cracking my head open. But there's
no sword in it, said a perplexed -looking Puerto
Rico Pole. Not yet, there isn't, I roared. The
legends have it all wrong. A sword needs to be
thrust into the stone and then pulled out to
liberate the once and future king. Excalibur
works like a key. Unlucky for the world, the
location of that key was revealed to me in a
vision. Where? The boys cried in unison like
a tuneless drunken choir of middle -aged men
washed up on a beach with no past or future but
a vague and barely conscious hope of a better
world. Tredegar, I announced solemnly. The birthplace
of Bevan and the cradle of the NHS is also home
to the Sword of Destiny. Turnip explained that
just at that moment a raven landed on the rock
in between the waves and started crowing at them.
We took it as a sign we were on the right track,
explained Turnip. But the shrieking soon got
annoying as how Puerto Rico Paul threw a half
-empty can of lager at it and it cleared off.
Drink up, boys! I shouted. We're headed up to
find Excalibur and send the space boys home.
You can count on our steel, my lord! Roared JFK
Jones, which didn't go down well. There was something
about JFK that had been getting to my skin of
late. It wasn't just a ridiculous ski boot thing
he had to wear because of his busted up ankle.
His cheery bluster was hiding something sinister
and vile. This isn't some sort of big joke, I
snapped. We're on a real all -or -nothing quest
here, and your Game of Thrones nonsense isn't
welcome. Turnip said that JFK looked suitably
abashed, but explained, I'll forever kick myself
for not realising we had a rat in the ranks sooner.
Yet even if we'd sniffed out JFK's treachery
before we put the knife in our backs, the true
scale of his betrayal will always leave me breathless.
To be continued. All of these exploits and more
are compiled in the collected works, the Manifest
Trials and Tribulations of Johnny Turnip. by
Tim Butters. Available as paperback now, and
you can find a link in the blog post for this
episode at likelyused .co .uk. Time for Tat in
the Box. Tat in the Box. There you go. That's
it. I clapped once. Aw. Okay. It's time for Tat
in the Box. Tat in the Box. Tat in the Box. Tat
in the Box. Tat in the Box. I think that was
one too many, but never mind. I can't talk very
much, but my voice is fucked from doing news
news. You did have to do a lot of voices. It
was a lot of acting. A lot of shouting in someone
else's voice. Yeah, it's not easy. God, I hope
there's nobody talking in the next episode. Just
do Johnny Turnip, I'm saying. Just be a monologue.
Or just read them all as the narrator. I've got
to record them at the end of the session. Yeah,
yeah. People have been saying that for months.
I never have. Maybe next time we'll remember.
Okay, are you ready to caress and guess? I am.
My eyes are closed and my hands are out. Okie
dokie. Let me just delve inside my box of delights.
I might have sounded different if I could speak
properly. Right, okay. I have placed item...
In front of you, between your hands. I'd like
to think that would have sounded less pervy if
I had better control of my throat. The item is
tiny. There we are. Oh, it's a multi -part item.
Right, and this seems like there's a cardboard
box that's open at one end with... I don't know
if that's... A price tag or part of... Oh, it's
coming off. I don't know if that was meant to
happen. Sorry. It's all right. It's a very old,
perished sell tag. Oh, right. So it wasn't part
of the... No, no. It wasn't like... Oh, that's
okay. I'm guessing... Was that just to stop these
things falling out? Yes. Oh, it's the Laurel
and Hardy reels? Uh -huh. I've just felt a small
film reel inside one of the boxes. Was it correct?
Yes, you are correct. You can open your eyes.
They are my Super 8 film reel collection. Oh,
I had the Mad Butler. Yes, there are three in
total. It's not a very big collection. One was
bought from British Red Cross, the Mad Butler,
the one that you've got in your hands now. And
I think that was £5. There's Lauren Hardy and
the Car Wreckers and Bucky and Pepito's Cartoon
Show. And they were bought together at a car
boot sale for £4 .50 for the two. I wish my voice
wasn't naked. I'm just looking on the back of
Lauren Hardy in the Mad Butler. I'm going to
try. Remember, when buying 8mm home movies, Mountain
Films are the best. Tip Top Home Entertainment.
Our latest catalogue is obtainable from your
dealer, illustrating hundreds of exciting films.
Mountain Films Ltd. Present the best in home
entertainment for your enjoyment. That's actually
easier to do than my regular voice. That was
very good. I'll have to keep speaking like this
for the rest of the show. I must speak like a
very posh man from the 1950s trying to sell something.
A received pronunciation. Yes. This is the BBC
Home Service. Mountain films are chosen for their
content, quality and entertainment value. Oh,
I've messed up that. I've got to stop there.
Okay, so... You've got stuff to say about them.
I have. I'm not just reading the backs of these.
For anybody that doesn't know what a Super 8
is, it is a small film reel. The film itself
is 8mm, hence the Super 8. And these were for
home entertainment, home cinema, back in the
1950s and 60s. Probably up until the 80s, I think.
I'm sure my dad had a Brownie projector at some
point. I have... been watching brownie projectors
on ebay because i would like to see if the films
are in any good condition yeah just to be able
to play them but i haven't gotten around to purchasing
one yet but they are cool little things little
objet da i suppose so yeah perfect for the brownie
eight millimeter film projector these were produced
by mountain films limited as adam has said beautifully
with his bbc presenter voice the laurel and hardy
films not the particular ones that i have but
similar are listed on ebay from anywhere from
1999 to as much as 40 pounds each adam is slowly
unraveling one of the reels now to see against
the light if he can pick out the images i was
trying to read what was on the very very edge
of this film trying to see which way up it was
i think it says safety ah and the there's one
bucky and pepito reel on ebay at the moment called
pony pals and that is selling for nine pounds
and three pence plus delivery so Compared to
online prices, I think I've had a reasonable
deal. Thank you very much to the British Red
Cross and the nice lady at the Swansea Car Boot
Sale. I didn't do any research into Laura and
Hardy because most people will be aware of who
they are. But they were a slapstick comedy duo,
mostly back in the silent movie days. That's
when they started. It was all very physical comedy.
And, you know, they had their own. millions of
films. They did loads of stuff. One of the most
famous double acts of all time. Yeah. And there
is a bit of a tie -in with the previous Bibletat.
They did end up working for RKO Studios. Oh,
did they? Towards the end of their career. There
we are. I didn't know that. There we are. Cool.
So what I did do is have a look at Bucky and
Pepito because I hadn't heard of them before
and I thought the box art was slightly... of
its time, shall we say. But anyway, Bucky and
Pepito's Cartoon Show was a western -themed animated
TV series produced in 1959 by Sam Singer. Bucky
is an American boy who dreams of being a cowboy
and Pepito is his Mexican friend and he is an
inventor. The episodes were roughly five minutes
long. It's got 2 .8 out of 10 on IMDb. So...
I guess most people aren't terribly impressed
with 1959 cartoons. We don't know how Pepito
is portrayed yet. We need a projector. He's an
inventor, so I don't know. It could be a kind
portrayal, but given the time when this came
out, I'm not sure. A chap called Dal McKennan
voiced both Bucky and Pepito. And I believe he
was a white man. The voice could be the problematic
area because nothing awful is being depicted
on the cover. The cover looks fine. Yeah. It's
fine. Yeah, I mean, there's a bit of a Fred Flintstone
character. There's a guy in a car. Oh, is there
a sentient sombrero? I think that's Pepito. Oh,
I thought that was him in the car. No, I'm going
to say that is Bucky and that is Pepito. The
cover might be problematic. So I'm not sure.
Yeah. If that's the case, then Pepito is pretty
much a child whose head has been replaced with
an entire sombrero with some eyes. Yeah. It's
not the kindest. I might need to withdraw some
of my earlier statements. It's fine. It's fine.
I was, yeah. But anyway, if I ever do get round
to getting a projector, I'll bring it round here
and we can put it on the wall over there or something
and we can watch it together and we can see.
I mean, you know, two out of the three boxes
are in relatively good condition. The reels themselves
are in good nick. Well, I'd say three out of...
This is only just because it's folded at the
bottom. Yeah, it's just a bit manky at the bottom.
It's still... It's not ripped or anything. It's
just... It's just been damaged ever so slightly.
Yeah. And on the back, is there a catalogue on
the back? Films to suit every taste include Charlie
Chaplin, Horror, A &M, Dennis, Animals, Travel,
Sooty and Sweep, Aircraft, Our Gang, Shirley
Temple, Harold Lloyd, Cartoons, War, Laurel and
Hardy, etc, etc. Standard 8, Super 8, Sound,
Black and White and Colour. Cool. And it's got
the address of the Mountain Films, West Central
Street, London, WC1. I bet they don't exist anymore.
Probably not. These are excellent. Okay, it's
your turn to guess. Are you ready? Yeah, gimme,
gimme, gimme. I'll try very hard not to hit the
microphone or the cables, although I'm aware
that I'm swinging my feet, so I'm probably creating
noise somewhere. Sorry, I need... To get my notes.
There we go. It's making it sound very heavy.
Okay, if you bring your arms together. Is it
on the table? Yes, yes it is. Oh, it's not heavy.
No. It's tiny. I was acting. You were actoring.
Well done. Just making grunty noises. Okay. Is
this something that is openable? Or would you
like the... the plastic to remain is it like
a grippy bag yeah that's okay it's hard to get
out of that's fine i don't need to i don't think
i need to take it out but but i'm just it is
a little grippy bag yeah that's how i bought
it okay so some sort of deck of card type thing
yes inside a drug bag Did the cards come with
pills or dust? That's exactly how I bought it,
as you have it in your hand. Is it safe to sniff?
I haven't, but I'm going to say yes. So I'm going
with it is some sort of deck of cards. Yeah.
Would you mean to get one out to help you? Yeah,
actually. Let's see if feeling the actual card
intuits my fingertips any further. I don't know
if you can get any more. plastic being so weird
as it is no it's just the it's such a snug fit
with your eyes closed you wouldn't be able to
unsheath it i was gonna say that's what she said
but then i thought better of myself i'll put
them face up there we go in your hands face up
yes okay so the back is slightly textured and
the front is a bit Maybe deceptively smoother?
I don't know. I'm running my fingertip along
the underside and the top side trying to compare.
I think the bottom is more textured than the
top. I'm going to give you that you've got a
deck of cards. That's not it, no. You can't tell.
Oh, so there's not 52? No. Deck of cards, you've
got it right before it was even unpacked. I don't
think you can get any closer than that. Can I
hazard a guess if it's like a random top trumps
or if it's just a standard deck of cards? I thought
maybe the size might have helped getting them
out of the packets. I don't know. They're too
small to be something like a community chest
from Monopoly. Not a playing card. Yeah. So for
a board game. They're like, if you, like, you
know, like the... Decks of cards you get in Christmas,
crackers, the small ones. They're that sort of
size, maybe slightly larger, but only marginally.
But I don't know. Are there images of trucks
on these? Not trucks. Oh. But some sort of vehicle.
There are images on one side. The other side
is... Hot wheels? No. The glossy side is the
picture side. Yeah. I don't know. um some sort
of deck of cards with some sort of vehicle on
yeah yeah that may or may not be a top trump's
travel size no no i was gonna give it to you
a deck of cards you've got incredibly close weirdly
with your eyes closed can i open it yeah yeah
absolutely oh they're cars oh they're um cigarette
They match box cards. They're cigarette cards.
Cigarette cards. Now, when we went to see Cheap
Show Live in Harrow last year, we met up with
some of the other Channel 84 All -Stars and visited
TJ's parents' antique shop. Yeah, I love that
shop. I got two items. You did, and one of them
is in my flat. Yeah, that was in episode 10,
the 1966 to 1998 first day covers from Monaco.
Our most listened to episode. Weirdly. But yeah,
I also got these cigarette trading cards, a series
of... Cigarette cards slash trading cards. Produced
by Mobil Oil. The Vintage Cars series from 1966.
They did a Veteran and Vintage Cars series in
1963. Nice. And the story of Grand Prix Motor
Racing in 1970. Oh, cool. There should be 24
cards in the series. My set is missing about
three or four, and there's quite a few doubles
in there as well. There are some doubles, yeah.
And the feature cards from 1920 to 1931 on the
front. The illustrations themselves, they've
got a bit of an Art Deco look to them, matching
sort of the period the cards are from. I think
those are created... Again, I've got glaucoma,
so my eyesight's terrible. I think they were
cut out from pieces of paper. Oh, really? I think
that's how the shapes were created. If you look
at the bustleback cars with a spare tyre on the
back, there's a gap between the tyre. Yeah, unless
it's just the way it was printed. They may have
been screen printed and sometimes things don't
line up quite right. But you could be correct.
But I think, yeah, trying to keep in with the
period correct design of how... Car posters would
have been done possibly with a scalpel cutting
out the shapes of the paper and then drawing
with arty pens to put in the shut lines like
the doors and maybe a little bit of airbrushing
to get the chrome effect on bumpers here and
there. They're lovely things. So on the back
then there's a bit of information about each
car like the year they're in production, the
engine, coachwork and the price when they were
new. But I paid £2 for this pack of cards, but
online, prices are absolutely all over the place.
Some folk are asking between £3 to £7 for individual
cards. What? But you can also see ads for the
complete set between £5 or £25. That's mad. Yeah.
There's no real figure for them, so it's whatever
someone's willing to pay, I guess. Yeah, I guess
so. £2 a figure, that seems very reasonable.
Absolutely. They're lovely things. Yeah, we'll
take some photos for these. But yeah, pictures
of all the items we've discussed and links to
everything we talk about on the show on the blog,
lightlyused .co .uk. Hello, it's Adam doing the
editing of the episode. The game that we said
that we were going to play at this point, listening
back. It was just Karen and me playing cards,
which didn't really translate to audio very well.
So I'm going to have to skip that this episode.
If you're keeping track of the score at home,
Karen won. But we did record some audio when
we were in Abergavenny. Thank you very, very
much, TJ, of the Variety Show for the fancy as
all hell lapel mics. Like an idiot, I wore mine.
Far too close underneath my chin, so the audio
is a little bit muffled. I've done what I can
to clean it up. So in lieu of a game, here's
Karen and me sitting around a picnic table in
Abergavenny Castle. This is our first out and
about. An adventure. We're taking the tapmobile
and we're in Abergavenny. We are. We are sat
in the gardens in Abergavenny Castle. So far,
we've pretty much just pulled up. in the Swan
Meadows car park yes we're recreating or following
the oracle of spikes trail so we pulled in the
stone circle in the Swan Meadow car park the
Eisteddfod stones and we followed what we presume
to be the trail the hedgehogs a hedgehog took
johnny turnip and friends on through the town
centre Along the side of the castle we found
some potential climbing places over the wall.
Photographic evidence will be on the blog. Only
a recreation. I didn't actually climb. He only
got one foot up, one leg up. I stood in the pose.
That was it. Actionman pose. I was just acting.
You can see how convincing it is on the blog.
So yeah, we come round through the castle and
we've been looking for potential places where
Johnny Turdip and friends... might have camped
to be found two potential places one a little
undercrofty bit where if you wanted you could
sleep standing up inside the castle undetected
apart from maybe your feet if someone's shown
a torch in the right place And we found a little
Victorian garden area near the museum, which
is very, very nice. It's very sweet. There's
sort of willows that are planted in semicircles
that arch over. They're all intertwined with
one another. And there's little love seat benches
underneath those. We're actually sat on a big
wooden picnic bench because, you know, love seats
and all that. But with the sun is shining in
between the clouds, there's a bit of a breeze.
So I'm sorry if you can hear that. But it does
sound nice going through the leaves. That's the
reason I wanted to sit in the table on here because,
yeah, we need a table. We've got bags and stuff
and also the low seats are all in the shade.
That's true. But I am like transparent skinned,
so shade is good for me. You can sit over there,
I'll watch you. I would say it's about, what,
20 degrees? Ish. Yeah, about 20 degrees. That's
enough for me to get burnt. So I'm wearing a
baseball cap today to try and avoid some of that.
but uh yeah nice day so far the museum is beautiful
what we can see outside we haven't actually been
in there yeah we've not been in yet but it does
it does look lovely the repointing on the turret
is particularly nice and weirdly i like the green
window frames yeah it's kind of pastel green
yeah very pastel pistachio i would say oh yeah
it's good yeah Not quite the avocado green from
70s interiors. Oh no, definitely not. It's not
like one of those awful bathroom suites. I bet
there's still houses with those in, you know.
And not all abandoned. I'm pretty sure at any
moment now, someone's going to come and disturb
us. Oh, they look like they're relaxing in a
nice spot on their own. I will go and sit over
there as well. We've seen quite a few people
coming out of the museum looking directly at
us, chilling in this quiet area. Yeah, I think
we have picked the biggest archway to sit under.
willow wise because we've got a big picnic bench
on a on another bench there's some that don't
have benches they're just little nooks there's
a chap went past and the bike directly eyeballing
us as well you've got a bench right there on
the on the hill if you want to sit there yeah
there's millions of daisies out on the hill on
the way up to the museum it's like the museum
is like a big square turret i guess a big square
castle with little turrets on top take a photo
after a little picnic yeah on top of a grassy
knoll and the grassy knoll is absolutely plastered
in really big were they bullseye daisies the
big ones called i don't know i can't remember
big daisies i think dog daisies are the even
bigger ones aren't they i have no idea dog daisy
sounds like something you do rather than something
it is clearly not botanists come to the wrong
podcast for that yeah botany not ours. It's nice,
peaceful. Can you hear the church bells in the
background? I don't know if that's standard Sunday
service or if it's someone getting married. It
sounds like wedding bells. Been pealing for a
while. Yeah. Can you hear all the little birdies,
all the blackbirds singing away to themselves?
What's the plan for the rest of the day anyway?
Well, we need to see if we can find where the
Abergavenny Chronicles are located. I've got
no other clue. I thought it would take longer
to get here, I'll be honest. Is this, what, about
50 minutes from where? Oh no, the walk. Oh, the
walk. Yeah, I thought it might take just a little
bit longer. I see. No, no idea what we're going
to do next. Nearly at the end. Nearly at the
end. I'm dying slowly. I'll make this as brief
as possible. This is the Reader's Digest Mysteries
of the Unexplained. How ordinary men and women
have experienced the strange, the uncanny and...
The Incredible. I got this from the YMCA in Llanelli
at the same time that we were raiding the Disney
book collection from a fortnight ago. And this
was also in the free box, so I can't complain.
This is a 1988 reprint with corrections. The
initial version ran from 1982 onwards. I think
there were a couple of subsequent reprints. And
out of all of the sections in the book, I have
picked the... A little bit about spontaneous
human combustion in the unearthly fate section.
This looks an awful lot like one of the books
my grandmother had. I wonder if she just had
a different edition of it. Is the picture of
the burnt chair with just the feet there? Maybe.
I don't know. I didn't look at every single page.
I've picked out a couple of stories from the
section. Okay. So the reason this book is coming
back is because it's full of stuff I love. It's
in good condition. It's in really good nick.
I definitely think it was either someone's coffee
table book or someone's bookshelf book that maybe
got thumbed through once or twice, but that was
about it. But... It covers a whole host of stuff
that makes me happy. So the first section is
just like the introduction. It's called The Endless
Search for Answers. Then there's Beyond the Walls
of Time. Unearthly Fates. Monsters and More.
I was waiting for a noise. You can do a voice
for the next one. The unquiet sky. No, I can't
do ejections. Fair enough. No UFO impressions
or anything. I've got a bad throat. And then
the Realm of Miracles. I'm not entirely sure.
Yeah. Angel singing noise. Good shout. So anyway,
after all of that. So this will come back because
I will find more stories that suit my kink in
here for weird shit. Okay. So unearthly fates.
Unearthly indeed is the fate of bursting into
flame without. benefit of ignition from any known
source an occurrence shared by an impressive
number of unfortunates another manifestation
of attack by agencies unknown is the rash of
cattle mutilations on western ranches the explanations
for which are as strange as the events themselves
examples of demonic possession and curses that
can kill are almost too fanciful to believe in
the minds of the victims their power is all too
real unearthly also are the cases of people who
appear seemingly from nowhere and those who suddenly
and inexplicably disappear into the unknown adam's
looking at his phone i was just trying to find
which member of spinal tap spontaneously combusted
sorry which members so i what i've done is just
highlight for myself two little sections from
the introduction of spontaneous human combustion
and then two very short stories so this is page
80 of the book it's quite a long book yeah there's
300 pages or so? So, spontaneous human combustion
is a well -documented phenomenon in which a human
body ignites and burns without any known contact
with an external source of fire. In some cases,
damage is slight. In others, the victim is reduced
to ashes. And in some of the strangest cases,
nearby objects escape relatively unscathed. The
chair or bed on which the victim was sitting
or lying and even the clothes on the child's
body may be undamaged or only slightly singed
often to a single foot a leg or the tips of some
fingers remain intact although the rest of the
body is consumed cases of spontaneous human combustion
SHC in brackets began to appear in medical reports
as far back as the 17th century and by the 20th
century the literature abounded in detailed accounts
of inexplicable human incineration. Over a span
of four centuries more than 200 such incidents
have been reported. Skip to the next bit. It
is a lot more popular than you'd think. Yeah,
I know. To be honest, I don't think I'd mind
being a spontaneous human combustion mystery
case. Oh, in theory. I mean, nobody's written
around to say, Jenny just went up in flames.
Wouldn't stop screaming. Wouldn't stop playing
with matches, that stupid bitch. I told her for
months she was going to get herself into trouble.
There's no source of ignition, remember? Yeah,
but the match will have burnt up with the body.
There'd be no evidence left if it was all ash.
No, no, it's all magic. They just go up. It's
all woo -woo. Okay, so I've picked two stories
from the before 1800 timeline. Clothes were a
lot more staticky back then. They were, well,
a lot heavier back then. Okay, so before 1800,
one of the earliest well -attested cases of spontaneous
human combustion was recorded by Thomas Bartholin
in 1673. A... Poor, in brackets, woman of the
people. probably homeless was mysteriously consumed
by fire in paris she had been a heavy drinker
of in inverted commas strong spirits to the point
of not taking any nourishment for three years
one evening she went to sleep on a straw pallet
and was burned up during the night in the morning
only her head and the ends of her fingers were
found all of the rest of her body was reduced
to ashes the incident was recounted by pierre
Amé Lair, who in 1800 published his first comprehensive
essay on the subject of human combustion. I think
that was murder. American Medicine, 9 -6 -2 -7,
April 22, 1905. I think someone burned that poor
woman alive. Murder. There's been a murder. But
I guess the implication is she drank so much
spirit that she just combusted from... Fumes
inside. ...being so highly flammable that being
near to something that was mildly warm just caused
it to go... Okay, next one and last one. I'll
keep this short. I'm not going to read the entire
story. I've just picked out the first section.
An unusually vivid and detailed report of inexplicable
human incarceration was given by Claude Nicholas
Le Cat, not Le Chat. human incarceration an unusually
vivid and detailed report of inexplicable human
incineration got it right that time incineration
Karen not incarceration feel free to not remove
the edit by the way I'm quite happy for people
to know how much of a dick I am Incineration
was given by Claude -Nicolas Lecat, a physician
serving as an apprentice surgeon in Rheims, France,
where he stayed at a local inn. The innkeeper,
Jean Millet, had a nagging wife who got drunk
every day. This is funny. This is another alcohol
story. On the night of February 19th, 1725, the
inn was full of people in anticipation of a big
fair the next day. Millet and his wife, Nicole,
retired early. Madame Millet could not sleep
and got up to go downstairs into the kitchen,
probably to follow her usual habit of drinking
herself insensible in front of a warm fire. Her
husband fell asleep. Around two o 'clock in the
morning, he woke up with a start. He smelled
fire and rushed downstairs, banging on the doors
along the way to wake up any sleeping guests.
When the panicked group arrived in the big kitchen,
what they found burning was not the inn, but
innkeeper's wife, Madame Millet. She was lying
close to the fireplace, hmm, suspect, and was
almost totally consumed. by fire only part of
her head and her lower limbs and a few vertebrae
remained a small section of the flooring under
her body had been burned through and a chair
she usually sat on next to the fireplace was
slightly scorched but nothing else in the room
was touched by fire I think it was an ember landing
on her clothes which were particularly flammable
I wonder I mean like they say they retired early
for the night And she gets up and goes downstairs
for a drink like she normally does. But like
I get up at two o 'clock in the morning for a
cup of tea because I'm wide awake like normal.
And so say they go to bed. What would you reckon
early would be in 1725? Like 3 p .m., 4 p .m.?
No, they're innkeepers, aren't they? What time
of year was it as well? Yeah, February. It was
winter, February 1725. I think you're probably
still looking at maybe 8 o 'clock at night. Yeah,
even if they've gone to bed at 8 o 'clock, I'm
sure if she'd set herself alight deliberately
at 8pm in the kitchen and they got down, the
husband and everyone ran downstairs at 2am, I
don't think four hours is enough. time to burn
the vast majority of a human body down to ash
in just a general fire consumption situation
like there's no there's nothing else it's just
that basically the fat on her body that's providing
the fuel for the fire wick effect yeah not the
john wick effect no that's very different so
yeah i don't think four hours is enough like
i'm pretty sure it Takes about four hours to
cremate a whole body now in the incinerators
that we have. But you're forgetting how much,
how much she drank. All of these lushes that
go near fires and just trying to get comfortable.
Pure alcohol. Exploding from the inside out in
the night. So, yeah, so... Don't drink, ladies.
There's quite a few stories of very drunk women
somehow just spontaneously whooshing into non
-existence. Yeah, I think these circumstances
are a little bit more suspicious than they're
being reported as. But there's loads... I didn't
set my wife on fire. I didn't set fire to that
whore in the shed. Yeah. Case of spontaneous
combustion. I don't know if she was when they
said a woman of the people. I don't know if that's
how they meant. Oh, this is an interesting section.
Right, okay. I didn't read this far through the
book. Spontaneous human combustion is not a phenomenon
recognised by 20th century science. It is not
listed in International Classification of Diseases
compiled by the World Health Organization, nor
is it a subject heading in the Index Medicus,
the National Library of Medicine's Index of Biomedical
Literature. Despite the evidence of police and
fire authorities, arson specialists, coroners
and pathologists, most doctors and scientists
regard seemingly... indisputable cases as simply
not thoroughly investigated however such skepticism
was not always prevalent the 17th and 18th century
spontaneous combustion especially for drunkards
was regarded as divine retribution but by the
19th century advances in biology and chemistry
encouraged researchers to look for more mundane
causes for these seemingly inexplicable fires
a number of additional possibilities were suggested
that alone or in various combinations amount
to such bizarre occurrences. I'll just give you
this quick list. I won't read the rest of it.
What sort of proof alcohol were they drinking
at the time? Well, fuck knows. Was there just
wine or were they thinking methylated spirits?
It's probably the equivalent of meth back then.
I can't imagine the distilling process was that
fancy in the 17th century. But wasn't the first
lady in France? Yeah, she was fucked off her
face on liquor. They know how to make wine. They
do. They're famous for it. Yeah, but what if
you don't like wine? What's the orange lick here?
Cointreau, that's French. Reaching there. Un
Cointreau double, s 'il vous plaît. Avec Luminard
Pschitt. Sylvus Platt. Sylvus Platt. Murky bucket.
Yeah, that's the one. So, quick list of potential
suspects for causing spontaneous human combustion.
Intestinal gases are flammable. Cadavers produce
gases that are flammable. Haystacks and compost
heaps can build up enough heat for spontaneous
combustion. Certain elements and compounds spontaneously
burst into flames when exposed to air. This is
true of phosphorus, for example, which is a constituent
of the human body. Some chemicals that are inert
alone combine to form explosive compounds. The
luminescence emitted by certain insects and fishes
proves the possibility of internal... fire in
brackets of some kind fats and oils which the
human body contains in abundance are excellent
fuels static electricity produces sparks that
could under certain conditions set a body on
fire especially with the type of clothing they
might have had back then well you know I think
stories about spontaneous human combustion were
things that I heard about in unsolved mysteries
and stuff in the 1980s, 1990s on TV. Bit like
quicksand and things you don't really see anymore
that if you're from our generation, you are petrified
of as a child. But as an adult, these things
just don't seem to exist anymore. Like no one
really talks about quicksand anymore like it's
the most dangerous thing in the world. But when
I was a kid on the beach, I was. Petrified. But
actual dangerous things. Nobody's talking about,
like, playing next to substations, going across
railway lines. That's true. Water near quarries.
Bring those PSAs back. Yeah, I miss PSAs. I used
to quite enjoy them. crossing the road and stuff
like that especially now with people head down
on their mobile phones they don't look PSAs need
to be brought back they really do and I tell
you what not once did I climb into a substation
after seeing that PSA no no that frisbee's gone
fucking fuck the frisbee fuck the kite whatever
it was it can stay there because I would rather
be alive thanks Well, you lovely, beautiful,
gorgeous. Excuse my box making weird noises.
Phrasing. Smelly bar stewards. You've made it
to the end of our 25th episode. And I've worked
out that in roughly six weeks, Adam and I will
be. if I've worked it out correctly, recording
our one year anniversary episode. Our oneiversary.
Our oneiversary. So I have put it in my calendar
as a reminder to myself for two weeks before
the date that it's supposed to be released. So
hopefully we'll actually get an anniversary celebratory
thing out on the week that it's meant to be as
opposed to like Christmas and it was like three
weeks after or whatever. I was going to say the
furthest I was going to go is I'll make sure
to mention it on that episode then. When you
put it in your calendar. Oh, no, no. Do something.
I might present you with a challenge or something.
I will have nothing beyond the usual prepared.
I'm not going to do anything special. I don't
celebrate my birthday. I'm not celebrating the
birthday of something inanimate. Oh, God. I know,
but it's for the listeners. Listeners. You cannot
care more about this podcast than me. If I don't
care, you cannot care about our birthday. That's
going to be really weird if you care more about
it than me. But I care. They can care for me.
You can only care about it as much as Karen.
Oh, that's still going to be a lot. You can only
50 % care about it. Yeah, only half -ass it.
Yeah, that's fine. One cheek, no more. Oh. I
guess Karen can get to choose. Left. There we
go. Left cheek, please. All about compromises.
Yeah. We are part of the Studio Channel 84 network,
a small group of indie podcasts. There's the
Variety Show, the Untitled Sci -Fi Show, and
Who Takes the Socks Off? plus their mini -sodes,
Socks On or Off, where guests get to spin the
wheel of would -you -rathers. Check them out,
have a listen, subscribe, tell a friend. And
you can find us all at channel84 .co .uk. Our
bit of the site is likelyused .co .uk. We've
got blog posts, photographs of our tats, links
to likely used news articles in the Ebbekeveni
Chronicle. And if we can find them, we'll link
to the bibliotep book on the Internet Archive
as well. Also, there's links to our socials.
I'll go through them now. Blue Sky, Instagram.
We've got the Facebook thing. YouTube. Twitter.
Twitter. And do we do Discord? There is a Discord.
There is a Discord, but I'm really rubbish at
it. And I think maybe only other network members
and Matt from APOC are in it. I don't know what
it's about. It's fine. I post notifications of
new episodes on there and there's a forum for
other people that... you know produce things
creatively their own podcasts or their own youtube
videos or whatever they can promote themselves
on there as well it just creates a little community
space so it's all to go oh well done i enjoyed
that i'm sorry i'm not social on the internet
at all that's fine That's fine. Thank you all
very much for taking part. You're much better
people than me. And me, probably. No, no, you're
the one posting everything on there. You've got
a Facebook. If it wasn't for you, we'd have no
listeners at all. I don't know. No, I do know.
People only listen out of sympathy, I'm sure.
It's like, oh, we know Karen. I feel obliged.
All right, we'll listen. Works for me. I know
my dad genuinely enjoys it, but I'm sure everyone
else listens out of obligation. If you don't
listen out of obligation but enjoyment, please
feel free to drop us a line at... Pods at lightlyused
.co .uk, but Ed will say that in a moment at
the end of the show. There we are. Thanks, Ed.
Adam and Karen have been lightly used. Visit
lightlyused .co .uk for more. To get in touch,
email pod at lightlyused .co .uk. Before we move
on to lightly used news. Stop throwing your pen
around. I've got to stop playing with my pen.
I'm fidgeting. That's because I'm talking bollocks.
You're bored of me. That's because I smoke heavily.
I'm used to having something to do with my hand.
This was a Studio Channel 84 network show. To
find more, head over to channel84 .co .uk now.