WEBVTT

00:00:01.879 --> 00:00:07.780
one two one two yeah one two one two one two

00:00:07.780 --> 00:00:13.560
bollocks funny tits wank you haven't pressed

00:00:13.560 --> 00:00:17.280
record yet have you yeah well there's your outtake

00:00:17.280 --> 00:00:35.539
this is rightly used with adam And Karen. Hello,

00:00:35.659 --> 00:00:38.560
I'm Adam. And I'm Karen. This is Lightly Used,

00:00:38.619 --> 00:00:40.340
the podcast where we celebrate our favourite

00:00:40.340 --> 00:00:43.020
things that we found in charity shops, things

00:00:43.020 --> 00:00:45.880
that are second -hand and generally bargains.

00:00:46.060 --> 00:00:48.100
I did have that planned out a bit better in my

00:00:48.100 --> 00:00:51.920
head before I spoke. That fell apart very quickly,

00:00:51.979 --> 00:00:54.600
didn't it? Nobody knew until you told them. And

00:00:54.600 --> 00:00:56.679
I've got some wonderful news to tell you all.

00:00:58.360 --> 00:01:01.539
not to win the motorbike on ebay but it's okay

00:01:01.539 --> 00:01:04.140
because i did actually talk to my dad about it

00:01:04.140 --> 00:01:07.859
and he said whilst it's fun to have a bike and

00:01:07.859 --> 00:01:10.540
blah blah blah he's like you are supposed to

00:01:10.540 --> 00:01:12.480
be saving to go to new zealand to visit your

00:01:12.480 --> 00:01:15.379
brother and i was like oh yeah that's a really

00:01:15.379 --> 00:01:18.109
good point Don't bring reality into this and

00:01:18.109 --> 00:01:21.129
responsibilities. Yeah, yeah. I want a fun thing.

00:01:21.310 --> 00:01:24.709
I have doused the fire of the hole that's been

00:01:24.709 --> 00:01:27.709
burning in my savings pocket and I'm now adding

00:01:27.709 --> 00:01:31.469
back to them apart from the very expensive £25

00:01:31.469 --> 00:01:34.049
night out in September that I'm going on that's

00:01:34.049 --> 00:01:36.390
turning out to be like a week's holiday somewhere

00:01:36.390 --> 00:01:40.629
self -catering. So yeah, no motorbike, but that's

00:01:40.629 --> 00:01:43.420
okay. I've got some vehicle news. I had to take

00:01:43.420 --> 00:01:46.379
the Tatmobile back to the dealer for a little

00:01:46.379 --> 00:01:48.719
bit, a few snagging issues, let's say. I had

00:01:48.719 --> 00:01:51.319
to have it a few days, so I went to get the train

00:01:51.319 --> 00:01:54.739
back. First time on a train in about 10 years

00:01:54.739 --> 00:01:58.219
or so. I forgot my headphones like an idiot.

00:01:58.260 --> 00:02:00.019
The one thing I made a point of, oh, I've got

00:02:00.019 --> 00:02:02.340
to charge those the night before. Let's leave

00:02:02.340 --> 00:02:04.819
them out. And then after I've finished charging,

00:02:04.920 --> 00:02:07.780
before I go to bed. Oh, better tidy those up.

00:02:09.580 --> 00:02:14.039
The space of 30 minutes, I'd completely forgotten

00:02:14.039 --> 00:02:16.060
the one thing I was doing for two hours, leaving

00:02:16.060 --> 00:02:20.360
them charged. That's so funny. Better tidy up.

00:02:20.740 --> 00:02:23.400
Fucking idiot. But I did have a table to myself

00:02:23.400 --> 00:02:25.939
after the first stop. But not long after I got

00:02:25.939 --> 00:02:30.020
on, I heard a, well, behind me. And the guy opposite

00:02:30.020 --> 00:02:32.520
me, the carriage was kind of busy. People were

00:02:32.520 --> 00:02:35.080
coming up and down at the time. And I thought

00:02:35.080 --> 00:02:38.479
he'd said, I think the guy's sick. I thought,

00:02:38.520 --> 00:02:41.919
he must be sick. It sounded exactly like a cat

00:02:41.919 --> 00:02:45.180
to me. And heard it again, turned around. Oh

00:02:45.180 --> 00:02:47.539
yeah, just an old guy with a big beard and he

00:02:47.539 --> 00:02:51.069
had a cat in the carrier. Oh, cute. Did you say

00:02:51.069 --> 00:02:53.270
hello? I went, oh, hello. I couldn't see the

00:02:53.270 --> 00:02:56.030
cat or anything. And it was quite a dense mesh.

00:02:57.090 --> 00:03:01.490
It said hello to a box. I thought it was there.

00:03:01.650 --> 00:03:04.330
Yeah, well done you. But yeah, Tatmobile's back.

00:03:04.610 --> 00:03:07.710
The anti -static stripped hat. That's been fitted.

00:03:07.969 --> 00:03:10.949
Huzzah! Under my first bit of pimpage. Well done.

00:03:11.349 --> 00:03:13.389
Yeah, because I like the steelies look on there.

00:03:13.449 --> 00:03:16.469
So I got some centre caps from eBay. rattle -canned

00:03:16.469 --> 00:03:19.930
them silver over the weekend. A little bit too

00:03:19.930 --> 00:03:21.750
heavy on the paint. It's only the second thing

00:03:21.750 --> 00:03:23.610
I've ever painted for a car. Oh, I think you've

00:03:23.610 --> 00:03:25.629
done a lovely job. I put a bit too much paint

00:03:25.629 --> 00:03:27.349
on the first thing I've ever painted as well.

00:03:27.969 --> 00:03:30.009
Didn't learn my lesson. You're just obviously

00:03:30.009 --> 00:03:32.090
too generous. Yeah, I want to protect them from

00:03:32.090 --> 00:03:35.270
stone chips. And it looks a bit more rugged and

00:03:35.270 --> 00:03:38.050
utilitarian. It does. I like the look. It's butch.

00:03:38.430 --> 00:03:39.889
And hopefully we're going to be going on our

00:03:39.889 --> 00:03:42.310
first adventure very soon. Yay! In the Tatmobile.

00:03:42.449 --> 00:03:44.949
First outing. Yay! Looking forward to that. We'll

00:03:44.949 --> 00:03:46.590
tell you more details if and when it happens.

00:03:47.169 --> 00:03:50.460
So. I think I might have come up with the start

00:03:50.460 --> 00:03:53.819
of a one -woman stand -up comedy show for myself.

00:03:54.039 --> 00:03:58.439
Due to something that happened this week that

00:03:58.439 --> 00:04:01.120
I've not told you about. Deliberately, because

00:04:01.120 --> 00:04:04.780
I wanted to see and hear your reaction to it.

00:04:04.900 --> 00:04:07.979
Okay. It's been on social media, but you may

00:04:07.979 --> 00:04:13.310
not have noticed. Probably not. On Wednesday,

00:04:13.509 --> 00:04:17.129
I'm going to say, I went to Sainsbury's lockers

00:04:17.129 --> 00:04:20.230
to pick up a vintage parcel. Did a bit of a mooch

00:04:20.230 --> 00:04:22.129
around town, you know, went for a walk, la la

00:04:22.129 --> 00:04:25.569
la la la, went home, unwrapped my parcel, and

00:04:25.569 --> 00:04:29.790
it is the most beautiful short sleeve. Bright

00:04:29.790 --> 00:04:33.029
blue and pink leopard print Lucy and Yak jumpsuit

00:04:33.029 --> 00:04:36.910
with a pink zip up the middle. I absolutely love

00:04:36.910 --> 00:04:39.069
it. It is so me. I was going to say, it's very

00:04:39.069 --> 00:04:44.370
you. It is so me. So the next day, I thought,

00:04:44.370 --> 00:04:46.290
well, I've not tried this jumpsuit on yet. And

00:04:46.290 --> 00:04:49.250
I'm like, well, I've got 10 minutes. So there's

00:04:49.250 --> 00:04:51.779
me in my bedroom. getting this jumpsuit on gets

00:04:51.779 --> 00:04:54.360
up to my waist absolutely fine lovely comfy feels

00:04:54.360 --> 00:04:56.379
like it's going to fit really nicely and then

00:04:56.379 --> 00:04:58.399
I go to do like the two hands behind your back

00:04:58.399 --> 00:05:00.199
and flip the sleeves up like you would a jacket

00:05:00.199 --> 00:05:03.379
and it just doesn't go and I'm like oh okay so

00:05:03.379 --> 00:05:05.860
I take one arm out the sleeve take my left arm

00:05:05.860 --> 00:05:07.959
out the sleeve put my right arm in the sleeve

00:05:07.959 --> 00:05:10.839
and shimmy that side up over my shoulder and

00:05:10.839 --> 00:05:14.480
then I do the weird turn your arm inside out

00:05:14.480 --> 00:05:16.879
and put the left arm in and then pull that up

00:05:16.879 --> 00:05:18.600
over my shoulder and zipped it out tucking your

00:05:18.600 --> 00:05:20.670
wrist into your armpit and Slithering it through.

00:05:20.810 --> 00:05:23.129
That's the one. Hoping that you've got 17 joints

00:05:23.129 --> 00:05:25.930
when you've only got one. Zipped it up and I

00:05:25.930 --> 00:05:29.170
was like, oh my God, this feels amazing. This

00:05:29.170 --> 00:05:32.850
is like a second skin. I walked up to my full

00:05:32.850 --> 00:05:35.410
length mirror and I was admiring myself. Took

00:05:35.410 --> 00:05:37.889
a little selfie. I was like, oh, Karen, you look

00:05:37.889 --> 00:05:41.029
so cute. And then I went and sat at my desk,

00:05:41.029 --> 00:05:43.209
did a bit of work. And then I thought, oh, I

00:05:43.209 --> 00:05:47.480
need a wee. I'll take the jumpsuit off. went

00:05:47.480 --> 00:05:50.139
to my bedroom, unzipped the jumpsuit, and then

00:05:50.139 --> 00:05:53.519
realised I could not get my shoulders or my arms

00:05:53.519 --> 00:05:57.180
out of said jumpsuit. So I'm there thinking,

00:05:57.379 --> 00:06:00.040
holy fuck, I've locked myself literally into

00:06:00.040 --> 00:06:02.339
a new outfit that I was convinced was going to

00:06:02.339 --> 00:06:04.160
fit, and it looks so cute, and I don't ever want

00:06:04.160 --> 00:06:05.699
to take it off, but now I've realised I can't

00:06:05.699 --> 00:06:07.540
actually take it off, and I need a wee, and I'm

00:06:07.540 --> 00:06:08.680
starting to panic. I'm trapped in my clothes.

00:06:09.399 --> 00:06:11.920
So I sent my very cute selfie to Jackson and

00:06:11.920 --> 00:06:15.579
I was like, emergency text message. I need you

00:06:15.579 --> 00:06:17.899
to come over to me immediately after work. I'm

00:06:17.899 --> 00:06:20.300
stuck in my clothes and I can't pee till 6pm.

00:06:21.399 --> 00:06:24.279
And he took a little while getting back to me.

00:06:24.300 --> 00:06:26.120
So then I sent him exactly the same message on

00:06:26.120 --> 00:06:27.740
Instagram. Because he's always on Instagram.

00:06:28.560 --> 00:06:30.759
And then about half an hour after that, I got

00:06:30.759 --> 00:06:32.740
a text message from Jackson going, oh, I'm sorry

00:06:32.740 --> 00:06:34.560
I haven't replied sooner, babe. I didn't know

00:06:34.560 --> 00:06:36.360
how to tell you, but I can't come over after

00:06:36.360 --> 00:06:39.439
work. And I'm like, oh, fuck. Oh, no. At this

00:06:39.439 --> 00:06:41.180
point, it was like 11 o 'clock in the morning.

00:06:41.319 --> 00:06:43.980
I needed a wee. And I wasn't expecting to see

00:06:43.980 --> 00:06:47.800
him until six. And then I was like, oh, shit.

00:06:48.040 --> 00:06:50.180
Right. I really need to do something about this.

00:06:50.279 --> 00:06:51.959
And I went through the whole thing of, can I

00:06:51.959 --> 00:06:54.220
knock on a neighbor's door? No. No, I really,

00:06:54.259 --> 00:06:57.269
really can't. So I was like, I need to get out

00:06:57.269 --> 00:06:59.310
of this thing. I'm not cutting it. I refuse to

00:06:59.310 --> 00:07:01.550
cut it. So I'm there. I'm like, how am I going

00:07:01.550 --> 00:07:03.850
to do this? So I try and get the shoulders off

00:07:03.850 --> 00:07:06.050
and I get it down like half an inch, but then

00:07:06.050 --> 00:07:08.329
I'm stuck. So then I have to get it back up.

00:07:08.449 --> 00:07:11.110
And I managed to shimmy one shoulder off. And

00:07:11.110 --> 00:07:13.490
then what I was doing was hoiking the trouser

00:07:13.490 --> 00:07:16.029
section up. So camel towing myself, right? To

00:07:16.029 --> 00:07:18.209
give myself as much fabric in the back. Yeah,

00:07:18.329 --> 00:07:21.089
yeah. There was no slack. It was like up to my

00:07:21.089 --> 00:07:23.290
belly button. Pulled the trousers up as high

00:07:23.290 --> 00:07:25.019
as I could to give myself a bit more. more space

00:07:25.019 --> 00:07:27.339
in the back and then pulled down on the side

00:07:27.339 --> 00:07:31.639
seam to loosen the fabric off my arm to try and

00:07:31.639 --> 00:07:33.639
get my shoulder out. And that finally worked.

00:07:33.879 --> 00:07:35.420
And then I was like, oh my God, I'm nearly free.

00:07:35.519 --> 00:07:38.000
I'm nearly free. Click teams, don't let my computer

00:07:38.000 --> 00:07:40.420
go to sleep. And then I'm like, right, I need

00:07:40.420 --> 00:07:41.740
to get this other shoulder off now. And I'm like,

00:07:41.779 --> 00:07:44.480
this is like getting out of a wetsuit. And I

00:07:44.480 --> 00:07:46.459
managed to get this shoulder out. And then I...

00:07:46.699 --> 00:07:48.680
pulled on the side seam a bit and the shoulders

00:07:48.680 --> 00:07:50.839
shuffled down, but not far enough, but far enough

00:07:50.839 --> 00:07:53.000
for me to reach around with my free arm around

00:07:53.000 --> 00:07:55.560
behind me to pull the back of the sleeve to release

00:07:55.560 --> 00:07:59.459
myself. Oh my God, the relief, the absolute relief

00:07:59.459 --> 00:08:02.139
of getting out of that jumpsuit. I cannot explain.

00:08:02.579 --> 00:08:06.879
For anyone, especially women who are large or

00:08:06.879 --> 00:08:10.420
have been large, the idea of trying clothes on

00:08:10.420 --> 00:08:13.319
in a shop. is an absolute nightmare especially

00:08:13.319 --> 00:08:15.100
if it's a warm day and you're a little bit sweaty

00:08:15.100 --> 00:08:17.040
because there is a risk you could get stuck in

00:08:17.040 --> 00:08:19.360
whatever it is you're trying to try on and we

00:08:19.360 --> 00:08:21.379
all think we're slimmer than we are and then

00:08:21.379 --> 00:08:23.139
you have to call for the assistant to come and

00:08:23.139 --> 00:08:26.560
release you and i was like i'm so lucky that

00:08:26.560 --> 00:08:30.160
this has happened at home But also, if I hadn't

00:08:30.160 --> 00:08:32.399
have got myself out of that thing, I would have

00:08:32.399 --> 00:08:35.700
peed myself and ruined my new jumpsuit. So I'm

00:08:35.700 --> 00:08:38.899
storing this for Karen's one -woman show of stupid

00:08:38.899 --> 00:08:41.000
things that happens to her when she thinks she's

00:08:41.000 --> 00:08:44.149
being cute or smart or clever. So yeah, drama.

00:08:45.049 --> 00:08:47.230
Well, if there's not a standard routine in there,

00:08:47.330 --> 00:08:49.490
there's certainly an epic game show challenge.

00:08:50.190 --> 00:08:52.350
Can you get out of this job suit that's ever

00:08:52.350 --> 00:08:56.029
so slightly too small? And I suppose the last

00:08:56.029 --> 00:08:57.870
thing I have to say is that I've done a little

00:08:57.870 --> 00:09:00.110
bit of social media stuff this week and I've

00:09:00.110 --> 00:09:02.769
set up a Facebook page. If you just search Lightly

00:09:02.769 --> 00:09:05.230
Used on Facebook, it will come up. We've got

00:09:05.230 --> 00:09:07.750
some lovely followers. Thank you to Will and

00:09:07.750 --> 00:09:10.269
Toby for messaging me this week. Thank you both.

00:09:10.450 --> 00:09:12.649
And for everyone that has followed and new listeners.

00:09:12.750 --> 00:09:16.009
hugely appreciated if you are on the evil thing

00:09:16.009 --> 00:09:18.250
that is the book of faces please feel free to

00:09:18.250 --> 00:09:21.110
find us message us follow us tell us we talk

00:09:21.110 --> 00:09:24.409
bollocks we don't mind last episode we did end

00:09:24.409 --> 00:09:27.110
by saying that you can see pictures of the mountain

00:09:27.110 --> 00:09:30.009
of games donated by friends of the show on instagram

00:09:30.009 --> 00:09:32.870
but we didn't actually give the address for instagram

00:09:32.870 --> 00:09:36.350
or any of our socials after saying these are

00:09:36.350 --> 00:09:39.679
all things you can find on the socials also Today,

00:09:39.759 --> 00:09:41.379
as we were recording this, I found for the last

00:09:41.379 --> 00:09:43.620
three episodes, I hadn't put the proper link

00:09:43.620 --> 00:09:46.240
in the metadata to the blog posts. Oh, yeah,

00:09:46.279 --> 00:09:51.360
that was quite funny. Absolute flute. On Instagram

00:09:51.360 --> 00:09:54.860
and Twitter, we are at underscore lightlyused,

00:09:55.000 --> 00:09:59.120
at lightlyusedpod on YouTube, and lightlyused

00:09:59.120 --> 00:10:03.039
.bsky .social. And there's also a little used.

00:10:03.700 --> 00:10:06.559
Discord too. There is a Discord. I was going

00:10:06.559 --> 00:10:08.600
to ask as well after the last episode, are we

00:10:08.600 --> 00:10:10.820
on Facebook? And we absolutely brand new. We

00:10:10.820 --> 00:10:12.740
are now. As of now, we absolutely are. We are.

00:10:13.059 --> 00:10:15.559
Links and blog posts for all the episodes with

00:10:15.559 --> 00:10:17.779
photos and links will be at lightlyused .co .uk.

00:10:18.360 --> 00:10:20.679
And I promise I'll pay more attention to the

00:10:20.679 --> 00:10:23.580
metadata from this episode onwards. I changed

00:10:23.580 --> 00:10:26.559
how I named the episodes. Accidentally. And that

00:10:26.559 --> 00:10:29.639
came back to bite me. Oh, you've put the actual

00:10:29.639 --> 00:10:31.480
name of the episode in the title now instead

00:10:31.480 --> 00:10:34.460
of just the episode number. Well, fuck you. You

00:10:34.460 --> 00:10:36.100
have to type it out every time now instead of

00:10:36.100 --> 00:10:38.279
changing the number at the end. Not so fucking

00:10:38.279 --> 00:10:41.279
clever after all, are you? No, no. Well, I shouldn't

00:10:41.279 --> 00:10:43.440
be saying this because Art heard us mention over

00:10:43.440 --> 00:10:45.299
the past few episodes we're still open to a sponsor.

00:10:45.620 --> 00:10:47.620
Oh, right. So this isn't doing us any favours

00:10:47.620 --> 00:10:50.340
sounding so unprofessional. He said he's been

00:10:50.340 --> 00:10:53.070
working very, very hard on something. After hearing

00:10:53.070 --> 00:10:55.269
me complain how long it takes to edit the show

00:10:55.269 --> 00:10:58.350
and everything. Oh, right, okay. Suggesting we

00:10:58.350 --> 00:11:00.250
go monthly. Has he got you a hamster or something?

00:11:00.470 --> 00:11:03.009
I've got no idea. He said, it's nearly ready.

00:11:03.409 --> 00:11:07.230
Oh. Is he growing you a hamster? That was the

00:11:07.230 --> 00:11:10.110
only word. He wouldn't say any more. Cryptic,

00:11:10.149 --> 00:11:13.149
but intriguing. I'll give him that. I've got

00:11:13.149 --> 00:11:16.690
no idea when nearly ready. Is it like an Elon

00:11:16.690 --> 00:11:20.350
nearly? I don't know. I guess we'll find out.

00:11:20.779 --> 00:11:23.580
I look forward to seeing what the next very interesting

00:11:23.580 --> 00:11:37.019
sponsor is. I guess. As you pointed out, we hadn't

00:11:37.019 --> 00:11:38.960
said what's actually coming up on the show today.

00:11:40.659 --> 00:11:43.220
Professionals, consummate professionals. Maybe

00:11:43.220 --> 00:11:45.500
we will need art to get a sponsor after all.

00:11:45.580 --> 00:11:46.980
Nobody's going to be approaching us otherwise.

00:11:47.240 --> 00:11:49.139
No, we just need someone to read out the content

00:11:49.139 --> 00:11:51.120
of the show for us and just slot it into the

00:11:51.120 --> 00:11:54.120
edit. We've got lightly used news, tat in the

00:11:54.120 --> 00:11:56.860
box, part two of a board game, dumb criminals.

00:11:57.610 --> 00:12:01.149
and bibliothet to end the show. We've prearranged

00:12:01.149 --> 00:12:04.129
our tet and bibliothet today. Yes, no mysteries

00:12:04.129 --> 00:12:07.049
to us. We'll tell you more in a little bit. Indeed.

00:12:07.149 --> 00:12:10.509
But right now, once again, for some lightly used

00:12:10.509 --> 00:12:13.470
news, we turn to Tim Butters from the Abergavenny

00:12:13.470 --> 00:12:16.570
Chronicle from Monday the 22nd of July 2024.

00:12:17.309 --> 00:12:21.009
Nearly a whole year ago. Abergavenny man claims

00:12:21.009 --> 00:12:26.350
everything we know about history is wrong. An

00:12:26.350 --> 00:12:28.789
Abergavenny man, on a self -appointed quest to

00:12:28.789 --> 00:12:31.049
find the burial place of the legendary King Arthur,

00:12:31.250 --> 00:12:33.610
claims he was blessed with a vision that allowed

00:12:33.610 --> 00:12:37.110
him to see things how they really are. The veil's

00:12:37.110 --> 00:12:39.850
been lifted from my eyes, explained semi -professional

00:12:39.850 --> 00:12:43.269
paranormal investigator Johnny Turnip. Pretty

00:12:43.269 --> 00:12:44.950
much everything we know about history is wrong.

00:12:45.230 --> 00:12:47.570
I can't give too much away because it could jeopardise

00:12:47.570 --> 00:12:50.389
my ongoing quest, but needless to say, the truth

00:12:50.389 --> 00:12:53.529
is stranger than fiction. All I can say is once

00:12:53.529 --> 00:12:56.059
I wield Excalibur and awake the Great Bear, many

00:12:56.059 --> 00:12:59.480
historical injustices will be put right. After

00:12:59.480 --> 00:13:03.259
forming a war party made up of contemporary knights,

00:13:03.659 --> 00:13:06.480
Turnip and his crew travelled to Llandevry in

00:13:06.480 --> 00:13:08.860
hopes of finding the once and future king's final

00:13:08.860 --> 00:13:11.899
resting place. Apart from soul -crushing boredom,

00:13:11.940 --> 00:13:14.440
some hangovers from hell, and in JFK Jones' case,

00:13:14.500 --> 00:13:16.980
a busted up ankle, Llandevry offered us nothing,

00:13:17.179 --> 00:13:19.059
apart from a vision that changed everything.

00:13:20.059 --> 00:13:22.000
Turnip told the Chronicle that he was visited

00:13:22.000 --> 00:13:24.659
by the soul of Lwelyn Apgrywyd in the early hours.

00:13:25.149 --> 00:13:27.049
He alleges that the Welsh prince showed him where

00:13:27.049 --> 00:13:29.529
King Arthur was buried, and the lake Excalibur

00:13:29.529 --> 00:13:31.990
had been dumped in. I've never had a proper vision

00:13:31.990 --> 00:13:34.009
before, but it was like watching a Netflix trailer,

00:13:34.289 --> 00:13:36.970
explained Turnip. It only lasted about two or

00:13:36.970 --> 00:13:38.789
three minutes, but it changed me completely.

00:13:39.149 --> 00:13:42.070
Now I see everything in a different light. Does

00:13:42.070 --> 00:13:47.429
it start with da -dun? Turnip added, The trouble

00:13:47.429 --> 00:13:49.470
is, although talking to a dead prince who has

00:13:49.470 --> 00:13:51.570
just come back as a statue is extremely trippy,

00:13:52.090 --> 00:13:53.830
I didn't have time to enjoy the mellow afterglow

00:13:53.830 --> 00:13:55.389
as someone who's just pretty much travelled backwards

00:13:55.389 --> 00:13:57.549
in time and seen the truth. Had to rally the

00:13:57.549 --> 00:14:00.029
troops. We had no time to waste. The corpse of

00:14:00.029 --> 00:14:01.929
King Arthur was in the Vale of Glamorgan. Or,

00:14:02.029 --> 00:14:07.629
to be more precise, Dunraven Bay. The knights

00:14:07.629 --> 00:14:10.029
of the TV dinner tray, as we jokingly refer to

00:14:10.029 --> 00:14:11.950
ourselves, were going to the seaside to kick

00:14:11.950 --> 00:14:14.250
down a few castles of sand and change the course

00:14:14.250 --> 00:14:17.889
of history. Turnip explained that as they roared

00:14:17.889 --> 00:14:19.809
out of Llandavery in Big Tony's Bedford Rascal,

00:14:20.220 --> 00:14:21.799
They all breathed a collective sigh of relief.

00:14:22.500 --> 00:14:24.299
It was like an immense weight had been lifted

00:14:24.299 --> 00:14:26.440
from our shoulders. Stay in Atlanta after he's

00:14:26.440 --> 00:14:28.480
been trialled by fire. After having survived

00:14:28.480 --> 00:14:30.399
three days and nights in that place, nothing

00:14:30.399 --> 00:14:33.039
could faze us. We were riders in the storm, and

00:14:33.039 --> 00:14:36.320
the world was ours for the taking. Turnip revealed

00:14:36.320 --> 00:14:38.080
that as they cruised along, drinking beer and

00:14:38.080 --> 00:14:40.440
arguing if Tony Soprano could beat Vito Corleone

00:14:40.440 --> 00:14:42.620
in the fistfight, the mood soon turned sour.

00:14:43.440 --> 00:14:44.899
Bird over, you could pull out one of his heads

00:14:44.899 --> 00:14:47.659
on, explained Turnip. He started going on about

00:14:47.659 --> 00:14:49.820
how there were hardly any fat kids in the 1980s

00:14:49.820 --> 00:14:51.980
compared with now. He argued that back then,

00:14:52.080 --> 00:14:53.759
those who were overweight made up for it by being

00:14:53.759 --> 00:14:55.480
comedians and making us all laugh instead of

00:14:55.480 --> 00:14:58.759
mourning and having panic attacks. Turnabout

00:14:58.759 --> 00:15:00.759
it. It would have been a fair point if Paul was

00:15:00.759 --> 00:15:03.100
making some sort of socio -economic point, but

00:15:03.100 --> 00:15:06.120
his real target was Big Tony. Even as a kid,

00:15:06.139 --> 00:15:08.200
Big Tony's been big -boned, but in a sort of

00:15:08.200 --> 00:15:10.299
buff way. And although he's always drunk and

00:15:10.299 --> 00:15:12.519
eaten enough for three men, he's a grafter and

00:15:12.519 --> 00:15:15.250
sweats it out on sight. However, like a lot of

00:15:15.250 --> 00:15:17.389
people, Big Tony got a bit porky during lockdown

00:15:17.389 --> 00:15:19.250
and he hasn't really managed to lose the timber.

00:15:20.090 --> 00:15:22.610
Comfort eating in Disney Plus ruined him. Although

00:15:22.610 --> 00:15:24.230
he's never mentioned it, we know his ongoing

00:15:24.230 --> 00:15:26.570
weight struggles are a sore point. I would respect

00:15:26.570 --> 00:15:30.509
that. But not Paul. Ignoring the strange and

00:15:30.509 --> 00:15:32.649
curiously vacant look in Tony's eyes, he went

00:15:32.649 --> 00:15:34.289
off one of those narky rants of his and began

00:15:34.289 --> 00:15:36.129
boasting that even though he's got his snout

00:15:36.129 --> 00:15:38.210
permanently shoved in the McAdee's trough, it's

00:15:38.210 --> 00:15:39.789
impossible for him to personally put on weight.

00:15:40.350 --> 00:15:43.139
Unlike Sam. He sneered while looking pointedly

00:15:43.139 --> 00:15:47.139
at Big Tony. That's a bit mean. That was the

00:15:47.139 --> 00:15:49.639
final straw. Tony slammed on the brakes, dragged

00:15:49.639 --> 00:15:51.559
Puerto Rico Paul out of the van, slapped him

00:15:51.559 --> 00:15:53.360
a few times and threw him in a ditch on the side

00:15:53.360 --> 00:15:56.379
of the road. Never knowing when to shut up, Paul

00:15:56.379 --> 00:15:58.080
just looked at him from his prawn position and

00:15:58.080 --> 00:16:00.740
lisped in a camp voice. And all because the lady

00:16:00.740 --> 00:16:03.559
loves milk today. Roaring like a temented bull.

00:16:03.870 --> 00:16:06.070
Big Tony thundered to the back of the van, threw

00:16:06.070 --> 00:16:07.990
open the doors, which woke up Fast Eddie and

00:16:07.990 --> 00:16:11.029
JFK Jones, grabbed a jerrycan of petrol, marched

00:16:11.029 --> 00:16:13.210
back to Paul, began to pour the contents all

00:16:13.210 --> 00:16:15.409
over him while bellowing, I'll burn you, you

00:16:15.409 --> 00:16:17.970
bastard! Puerto Rico Paul was screaming at him

00:16:17.970 --> 00:16:22.830
defiantly. Where's your head at, fat boy? I shouldn't

00:16:22.830 --> 00:16:25.269
be laughing at this. I was attempting to wrestle

00:16:25.269 --> 00:16:27.049
the jerrycan out of his hand, but with his blood

00:16:27.049 --> 00:16:29.350
up, Big Tony can be an unstoppable force of nature.

00:16:29.710 --> 00:16:31.690
As he threw the jerrycan to the floor and reached

00:16:31.690 --> 00:16:34.169
for his lighter, I feared the worse. But at that

00:16:34.169 --> 00:16:36.309
moment, Fast Eddie leapt on his back and started

00:16:36.309 --> 00:16:38.549
gnawing at his ear determinedly, like a ferocious

00:16:38.549 --> 00:16:41.990
rat. Thankfully, he did the trick and brought

00:16:41.990 --> 00:16:44.750
the big man to his senses. He roared like a wounded

00:16:44.750 --> 00:16:46.750
elephant as he fell to his knees and started

00:16:46.750 --> 00:16:50.049
sobbing. At the same time, Puerto Rico Paul pulled

00:16:50.049 --> 00:16:52.309
himself up, looked at Big Tony dismissively and

00:16:52.309 --> 00:16:56.289
went to light a fag. No, you tool, I cried. You're

00:16:56.289 --> 00:16:58.629
covered in petrol. Paul threw the lighter and

00:16:58.629 --> 00:17:00.889
fagged to the ground and muttered, For Christ's

00:17:00.889 --> 00:17:03.549
sake, it was only a joke. and jumped back in

00:17:03.549 --> 00:17:07.569
the van to sulk. Meanwhile, I approached Big

00:17:07.569 --> 00:17:10.309
Tony cautiously. As fast as he held the big man's

00:17:10.309 --> 00:17:12.349
hand and softly sang, don't look back in anger

00:17:12.349 --> 00:17:18.569
to him. This is an emotional rollercoaster, this

00:17:18.569 --> 00:17:21.710
one. What the hell's happening to me? I was going

00:17:21.710 --> 00:17:24.410
to burn Paul alive, cried Big Tony as I came

00:17:24.410 --> 00:17:27.269
near. Don't beat yourself up over it, son, I

00:17:27.269 --> 00:17:29.359
said. That a sinister force had worked to seek

00:17:29.359 --> 00:17:31.259
to divide us. You weren't in your right mind,

00:17:31.299 --> 00:17:33.099
and probably being controlled by a higher power

00:17:33.099 --> 00:17:35.759
when you tried to commit, Paul. This seemed to

00:17:35.759 --> 00:17:37.740
satisfy him, so he jumped back in the van, he

00:17:37.740 --> 00:17:39.559
hugged Puerto Rico Paul, and the two of them

00:17:39.559 --> 00:17:42.240
made up over a flagon of fortified cider. It

00:17:42.240 --> 00:17:43.579
would take more than the weight issues and demonic

00:17:43.579 --> 00:17:47.140
possession to divide those two. As Big Tony drove,

00:17:47.400 --> 00:17:49.640
Sir Lancelot's stark warning to me at the beginning

00:17:49.640 --> 00:17:52.299
of the quest rang in my ears. Some will fall

00:17:52.299 --> 00:17:55.789
in battle! Some will betray your cause and others

00:17:55.789 --> 00:17:58.869
will lose their minds to the terror that lies

00:17:58.869 --> 00:18:02.930
beyond worlds. I silently sat in the van and

00:18:02.930 --> 00:18:04.869
tried hard not to blame Paul for being covered

00:18:04.869 --> 00:18:06.670
in petrol and stopping us all from sparking up.

00:18:07.029 --> 00:18:10.609
We all really needed a fag. To compensate, Big

00:18:10.609 --> 00:18:12.589
Tony put on David Bowie's Life on Mars in the

00:18:12.589 --> 00:18:15.430
car stereo. As I listened to the thin white duke

00:18:15.430 --> 00:18:18.009
singing about America's tortured brow. I reflected

00:18:18.009 --> 00:18:19.710
grimly on my vision and wondered how I could

00:18:19.710 --> 00:18:21.329
tell the boys that before this quest was over,

00:18:21.470 --> 00:18:23.289
we'd not only have to do battle with the enemy

00:18:23.289 --> 00:18:26.230
within, but being as from another planet as well.

00:18:27.329 --> 00:18:33.769
To be continued. And the collected works of Johnny

00:18:33.769 --> 00:18:36.309
Turnip's escapades are available in Tim Butter's

00:18:36.309 --> 00:18:39.269
book, The Manifest Trials and Tribulations of

00:18:39.269 --> 00:18:41.730
Johnny Turnip, available now. And you'll find

00:18:41.730 --> 00:18:44.789
a link to this article and the book itself at

00:18:44.789 --> 00:18:52.789
lightlyused .co .uk. Excellent. It's time for

00:18:52.789 --> 00:18:58.109
my favourite jingle. Tat in the box, tat in the

00:18:58.109 --> 00:19:01.390
box. Tat in the box, tat in the box. Tat in the

00:19:01.390 --> 00:19:05.970
box, tat in the box. Tat in the box. Guess what

00:19:05.970 --> 00:19:11.130
we're doing? It's a bit of a change to tat in

00:19:11.130 --> 00:19:14.950
the box this episode. It's prearranged. Tat in

00:19:14.950 --> 00:19:16.890
the box. It is. This is something we're meant

00:19:16.890 --> 00:19:21.150
to do maybe back in episode 13. A while back.

00:19:21.269 --> 00:19:24.069
I think. Because I think the third episode we

00:19:24.069 --> 00:19:25.930
did was prearranged. So we thought, oh, shall

00:19:25.930 --> 00:19:28.390
we do this every 10 episodes? Do a prearranged

00:19:28.390 --> 00:19:32.250
one. And we forgot. 21 episodes. Not after a

00:19:32.250 --> 00:19:34.130
great start. 11 episodes later, here we are.

00:19:34.799 --> 00:19:37.160
Do you want to go first? Yeah, I will go first.

00:19:37.400 --> 00:19:40.900
So I've brought a selection of my charity shop

00:19:40.900 --> 00:19:43.160
mugs. There are a couple that I've left at home

00:19:43.160 --> 00:19:46.240
because they were gifts from you. And I didn't

00:19:46.240 --> 00:19:48.579
really think they counted because I didn't purchase

00:19:48.579 --> 00:19:51.839
them myself. One mug you've seen already and

00:19:51.839 --> 00:19:53.980
listeners who've been here a little while will

00:19:53.980 --> 00:19:56.019
be familiar or if they've gone back and listened

00:19:56.019 --> 00:19:59.960
to the particular episode. So I've gone smallest

00:19:59.960 --> 00:20:02.869
mug. It's the biggest mug that I've found in

00:20:02.869 --> 00:20:06.029
charity shops. For a change, we don't have to

00:20:06.029 --> 00:20:07.829
close our eyes. We can just show them off. Yeah.

00:20:07.970 --> 00:20:12.450
Mug number one. It's the parade of mugs. It's

00:20:12.450 --> 00:20:15.130
my littlest mug. It is a very tiny, thin mug.

00:20:15.309 --> 00:20:18.349
And it is my Mr. Pickwick. Oh, yes. 252 Samuel

00:20:18.349 --> 00:20:22.250
Pickwick Esquire. His desire to benefit the human

00:20:22.250 --> 00:20:26.049
race. Pickwick Papers by Hornsey. Cost me 99p.

00:20:26.309 --> 00:20:29.869
I think it was Air Ambulance. I'd have to go

00:20:29.869 --> 00:20:31.750
back through my notes to actually know for sure.

00:20:32.269 --> 00:20:37.589
All right. Mug number two is the one that people

00:20:37.589 --> 00:20:41.029
will be familiar with, which is the Walker's

00:20:41.029 --> 00:20:44.009
50 -year anniversary mug that Adam and I both

00:20:44.009 --> 00:20:47.789
have one each of. This was one pound, as was

00:20:47.789 --> 00:20:51.250
Adam's mug, and it came from Bernardo's in Park

00:20:51.250 --> 00:20:54.430
Towie, Swansea. I knew I was forgetting a mug

00:20:54.430 --> 00:20:57.130
for my collection. It's right there. It's at

00:20:57.130 --> 00:20:58.490
the tippity top of the tech shelves. That's right,

00:20:58.630 --> 00:21:01.509
I can see it. Mug number three is one of my personal

00:21:01.509 --> 00:21:03.829
favourites. I don't use it very often, but it

00:21:03.829 --> 00:21:08.130
is good. It is the cat butt mug. Unnamed by artist,

00:21:08.490 --> 00:21:13.789
unnamed by manufacturer. It is a ginger tomcat,

00:21:13.869 --> 00:21:18.599
presumably, lying down, licking its bum. 1, 2,

00:21:18.660 --> 00:21:23.359
3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12. Triska -decaphobic

00:21:23.359 --> 00:21:26.180
number of times on the outside of the mug. I've

00:21:26.180 --> 00:21:28.220
remembered. Yeah, it's one of my favourite words.

00:21:29.000 --> 00:21:33.460
Weird. And then my last mug is my biggest, proudest

00:21:33.460 --> 00:21:37.670
achievement in the mug world. It is the giant

00:21:37.670 --> 00:21:43.549
HP sauce mug. It's a big boy. And maybe for size

00:21:43.549 --> 00:21:46.329
reference, I will take a photo of this next to

00:21:46.329 --> 00:21:49.690
my head. I will selfie it for the blog post.

00:21:50.069 --> 00:21:53.390
It is a beast. I more often than not use it as

00:21:53.390 --> 00:21:55.650
a flower vase. I've never had a cup of tea in

00:21:55.650 --> 00:21:58.740
it. I think it's probably... Almost a litre?

00:21:58.819 --> 00:22:02.359
It's not far off a small bucket. Yeah, it's a

00:22:02.359 --> 00:22:04.279
good size. It's very heavy. You could probably

00:22:04.279 --> 00:22:07.319
kill somebody with it. Again, can't remember

00:22:07.319 --> 00:22:09.460
where it was from. Don't have the price label

00:22:09.460 --> 00:22:12.240
on it anymore. On the bottom it says HP Source

00:22:12.240 --> 00:22:16.660
Official Merchandise. HP wordmark. The HP Source

00:22:16.660 --> 00:22:20.180
flag device and Houses of Parliament image are

00:22:20.180 --> 00:22:24.130
trademarks of HP Foods and are used... Under

00:22:24.130 --> 00:22:28.029
license 2013. Beams International Limited. Suitable

00:22:28.029 --> 00:22:32.069
for dishwasher and microwave. Those are my four

00:22:32.069 --> 00:22:36.990
mugs. My turn. You can hear there's quite a full

00:22:36.990 --> 00:22:38.730
box. There's a good old crockery jingle going

00:22:38.730 --> 00:22:44.430
on there. Yeah, I must be honest. I've got many,

00:22:44.569 --> 00:22:48.970
many mugs in my box -o -tat. Because for about

00:22:48.970 --> 00:22:52.789
two months, I think I had a bit of a problem.

00:22:53.210 --> 00:22:56.029
No, really, a mug problem. I've had to stop buying

00:22:56.029 --> 00:22:58.910
them. I only use one mug, and that's one that

00:22:58.910 --> 00:23:02.130
you bought me. The Cookie Monster one. Yeah,

00:23:02.150 --> 00:23:03.849
that's why it's been absent today when we've

00:23:03.849 --> 00:23:07.130
been having tea. So, I'm going to start with

00:23:07.130 --> 00:23:09.710
my very favourite one, which has never been used.

00:23:12.029 --> 00:23:15.990
I've got the price tag in there. It's my... Oh,

00:23:16.069 --> 00:23:18.390
are you taking a photo? No, no, put your mug

00:23:18.390 --> 00:23:21.859
up. Oh, I forgot my one of those. I thought that's

00:23:21.859 --> 00:23:23.500
why you weren't getting it. I thought it was

00:23:23.500 --> 00:23:25.519
a gift. I'm pretty sure you bought that or did

00:23:25.519 --> 00:23:27.079
I buy both of them? No, you bought it for me.

00:23:27.400 --> 00:23:31.599
We have a kind of his and hers Warner Brothers

00:23:31.599 --> 00:23:35.440
mugs. I've got Marvin the Martian and coincidentally

00:23:35.440 --> 00:23:37.359
around about... Was it the same time? I think

00:23:37.359 --> 00:23:39.359
so. Yeah, it was very close to being the same

00:23:39.359 --> 00:23:41.700
time. Was this from a blind bag as well? It might

00:23:41.700 --> 00:23:43.900
have been. A little Lego minifig. Yeah. Marvin

00:23:43.900 --> 00:23:46.519
the Martian. Very cool. So yeah, that Marvin

00:23:46.519 --> 00:23:49.940
the Martian mug was... Yeah, yeah, it was £9

00:23:49.940 --> 00:23:53.119
.95. From Greyhound. Yeah, we got them both at

00:23:53.119 --> 00:23:55.839
the same time. Yeah, they were in the posh fancy

00:23:55.839 --> 00:23:57.799
glass cabinet where the expensive things go.

00:23:58.059 --> 00:24:01.900
Absolutely worth it. Yeah, 100%. Also, this big

00:24:01.900 --> 00:24:06.720
boy. Oh, yes, a nice stein. £2 from, oh, it just

00:24:06.720 --> 00:24:08.599
says Brick -a -Breck in the bottom. I think that's

00:24:08.599 --> 00:24:09.700
British Heart Foundation. I was going to say

00:24:09.700 --> 00:24:11.359
it's a British Heart Foundation or YMCA, but

00:24:11.359 --> 00:24:14.049
YMCA has got... YMCA on the stickers. Isn't it

00:24:14.049 --> 00:24:17.789
sad that we know now the price labels with some

00:24:17.789 --> 00:24:20.789
degree of certainty? This is the one that you

00:24:20.789 --> 00:24:23.630
got, the Cookie Monster. Yay! This one I got

00:24:23.630 --> 00:24:28.130
in YMCA for a pound. Nice. With the Royal. E

00:24:28.130 --> 00:24:32.170
-R -DOS. This one I do actually use, but not

00:24:32.170 --> 00:24:35.809
as a mug. One of my favourite ones. Mr. T. Mr.

00:24:35.910 --> 00:24:38.910
T with T -E -A, with gold knuckle duster type

00:24:38.910 --> 00:24:43.319
sovereignty ring. Yeah, very cool. This is kind

00:24:43.319 --> 00:24:46.440
of problem -related because, yes. This is where,

00:24:46.700 --> 00:24:51.000
yeah, yeah, Easter mugs. So that's the one I

00:24:51.000 --> 00:24:53.279
got. My mate Jeremy then saw my tech shelves

00:24:53.279 --> 00:24:55.299
and said, oh, you've got some mugs there. So

00:24:55.299 --> 00:24:59.720
he got me a toffee crisp mug. Nice. This is one

00:24:59.720 --> 00:25:02.240
of my favourite ones I saw a while ago. Oh, wow.

00:25:02.619 --> 00:25:04.920
I haven't seen that one before. I kept that in

00:25:04.920 --> 00:25:07.680
the cupboard. Hind spaghetti in tomato sauce.

00:25:08.160 --> 00:25:10.799
That's exactly the same as the tin of spaghetti.

00:25:10.819 --> 00:25:14.880
It is. that's so cool free from artificial colour

00:25:14.880 --> 00:25:18.460
and preservative this is a pound from YMCA a

00:25:18.460 --> 00:25:23.299
Batman foil kind of I'm Batman reflective logo

00:25:23.299 --> 00:25:29.099
this is my mug oh another fancy one this is from

00:25:29.099 --> 00:25:32.119
Harrods oh lovely darling and I managed to chip

00:25:32.119 --> 00:25:36.880
it oh no so Tony I can't have nice things it's

00:25:36.880 --> 00:25:41.210
not that nice again problem mug Why do I have

00:25:41.210 --> 00:25:45.529
a Walls direct mug? I'm guessing wholesalers

00:25:45.529 --> 00:25:48.170
and stuff get that. Walls ice cream with a telephone

00:25:48.170 --> 00:25:50.650
number on it. I wonder if that phone number still

00:25:50.650 --> 00:25:53.950
works. This was a pound in British Art Foundation

00:25:53.950 --> 00:25:56.130
again. Brick -a -brack. Pac -Man. I think that's

00:25:56.130 --> 00:25:59.410
heat sensitive. So I think a map might appear

00:25:59.410 --> 00:26:01.910
on that one. Oh, right. Cool. That warms up.

00:26:03.829 --> 00:26:07.460
This is relevant to our interests. nicely British

00:26:07.460 --> 00:26:10.480
Truck Racing Championships yay they were recently

00:26:10.480 --> 00:26:14.480
at Pembrey they were it was a really fun weekend

00:26:14.480 --> 00:26:16.859
to watch on YouTube so maybe next time they're

00:26:16.859 --> 00:26:20.859
there IRL yeah we might have a day out maybe

00:26:20.859 --> 00:26:23.160
if you're interested from listening to the next

00:26:23.160 --> 00:26:29.819
ones in July 2015 in Thruxton 2015? 2025 I thought

00:26:29.819 --> 00:26:34.859
so Thruxton 1st of June 2025 is the next time

00:26:34.859 --> 00:26:36.529
they're live Is it? Oh, I thought it was the

00:26:36.529 --> 00:26:38.170
6th or something. No, it was the 1st. I had a

00:26:38.170 --> 00:26:39.589
look earlier. I wasn't paying attention. I'm

00:26:39.589 --> 00:26:41.490
really sad. I've subscribed to them because of

00:26:41.490 --> 00:26:50.029
last weekend. This, I think, was in RSPCA Hleisnini.

00:26:50.349 --> 00:26:55.250
Right. It's a Tetley mug with gaffer. Oh, I thought

00:26:55.250 --> 00:26:58.150
Sydney was the other side. No, just gaffer. Sitting

00:26:58.150 --> 00:27:01.839
down with a mug saying gaffer. Nice. And it also

00:27:01.839 --> 00:27:05.940
says, that's better, that's Tetley. And I can

00:27:05.940 --> 00:27:11.140
only say bullshit to that because Yorkshire tea

00:27:11.140 --> 00:27:13.819
is the finest brew. I will also say, sorry, before

00:27:13.819 --> 00:27:15.920
you move on to the next one, that two of these

00:27:15.920 --> 00:27:19.240
mugs, the Heinz Spaghetti and the Tetley, are

00:27:19.240 --> 00:27:22.789
made by Kiln Craft in England. Oh, actually,

00:27:22.910 --> 00:27:26.609
the Heinz Spaghetti and Tetley might have been

00:27:26.609 --> 00:27:29.809
Salvation Army downstairs in Tetley. They have

00:27:29.809 --> 00:27:32.210
a big wall of mugs. That's definitely where I

00:27:32.210 --> 00:27:34.630
got the Walls one from and the British Truck

00:27:34.630 --> 00:27:38.750
Racing Championship one from. Possibly the Batman

00:27:38.750 --> 00:27:42.289
one as well. You really do have a penchant for

00:27:42.289 --> 00:27:45.750
mugs. Yeah, I only used one. I've had to stop

00:27:45.750 --> 00:27:47.710
buying. I've not bought mugs in months. Only

00:27:47.710 --> 00:27:50.569
one mug has tea stains. And these ones, I bought

00:27:50.569 --> 00:27:53.250
them. I can't remember what these are. Oh. So

00:27:53.250 --> 00:27:55.130
these have been in my living room wrapped up

00:27:55.130 --> 00:28:00.930
on the sideboard for months. Oh, egg cups. Oh,

00:28:01.089 --> 00:28:05.730
Smarties are. Smarties egg cup. So there's a

00:28:05.730 --> 00:28:08.950
set of those. Oh, amazing. I can't remember if

00:28:08.950 --> 00:28:11.089
there's a price on them. Not on the one I was

00:28:11.089 --> 00:28:13.170
looking at. No, I can't remember where I got

00:28:13.170 --> 00:28:15.559
these from. They're awesome. They're in proper,

00:28:15.680 --> 00:28:18.759
like, 1980s brown. Now, I can't remember these

00:28:18.759 --> 00:28:20.859
actual mugs. I can't remember what that was in

00:28:20.859 --> 00:28:25.059
there. It was tiny. These might be a set or two

00:28:25.059 --> 00:28:29.259
set. I cannot remember. Oh, okay. Oh, no. Oh,

00:28:29.279 --> 00:28:32.019
more Smarties mugs. That went with the egg cups.

00:28:32.220 --> 00:28:36.220
That was a set. Times three, £1 .99 homewares.

00:28:36.440 --> 00:28:38.119
I thought that was good for the set. So that's

00:28:38.119 --> 00:28:41.359
a Smarties mug and two Smarties egg cups. Clearly

00:28:41.359 --> 00:28:44.670
for Easter. Oh, and these are Hornsey. That is

00:28:44.670 --> 00:28:48.750
fancy. Oh, this is one I got for you. A Munch

00:28:48.750 --> 00:28:53.710
Bunch mug. Oh, amazing. Meet Emma Apple of the

00:28:53.710 --> 00:28:58.309
Munch Bunch. That is fucking cool. 1984, Studio

00:28:58.309 --> 00:29:02.049
Publications, Ipswich Limited. That's wicked.

00:29:02.329 --> 00:29:04.730
I've had these a while. And another one for you.

00:29:04.809 --> 00:29:10.099
A cat one. Also Kiln Craft. Oh, twinkle, twinkle

00:29:10.099 --> 00:29:12.940
little stars. Little girl with her little kitten

00:29:12.940 --> 00:29:15.640
looking out the window sill. That was it. Sorry,

00:29:15.720 --> 00:29:19.460
the Smarties one was for me. Thank you so much.

00:29:19.819 --> 00:29:22.579
I like those. I've had those for ages. I can't

00:29:22.579 --> 00:29:24.900
remember how long. It's probably an idea on the

00:29:24.900 --> 00:29:28.380
receipt somewhere. It was the sticker, wasn't

00:29:28.380 --> 00:29:31.119
it? Yeah, it just says 0207. So probably that's

00:29:31.119 --> 00:29:33.599
the date it should come off the shelf. So have

00:29:33.599 --> 00:29:36.160
you had them since summer last year? Yes. Yeah,

00:29:36.220 --> 00:29:38.220
there we are. Do you want to take a photo of

00:29:38.220 --> 00:29:40.759
all of our tattoo? I am. Excuse me while I move

00:29:40.759 --> 00:29:43.039
the chair. Let me get out of the photo as well.

00:29:43.460 --> 00:29:47.420
Okay, hang on. Putting my recently purchased

00:29:47.420 --> 00:29:52.819
phone camera to the test here. Try and get like

00:29:52.819 --> 00:29:56.500
a forest of mugs. It might be a panoramic shot.

00:29:56.539 --> 00:30:07.769
Yeah, I'm going to do a few. Headphones. right

00:30:07.769 --> 00:30:11.650
then we are back to part two of dumb criminals

00:30:11.650 --> 00:30:15.269
the board game adam is winning what a shock is

00:30:15.269 --> 00:30:17.789
it my turn yep it's your turn i've got the time

00:30:17.789 --> 00:30:21.789
already this time 10 minutes starts now all right

00:30:21.789 --> 00:30:26.970
two blackmail give me some money there we go

00:30:26.970 --> 00:30:35.509
there's it thank you six Caught. I've got nobody

00:30:35.509 --> 00:30:41.549
in jail, so you're go. One. Well, I've got the

00:30:41.549 --> 00:30:44.769
Art Gallery High Square again. One and a half

00:30:44.769 --> 00:30:47.250
grand per crew member. I've got four in jail,

00:30:47.410 --> 00:30:50.349
two in my hand. If I get this wrong, they all

00:30:50.349 --> 00:30:52.269
go to jail within the first minute of the game.

00:30:52.410 --> 00:31:00.369
So I'm going to go one. Risking one. Road Rage.

00:31:01.230 --> 00:31:04.410
New Jersey native Dino Moran thought it was wise

00:31:04.410 --> 00:31:06.269
to escalate an exchange with another driver.

00:31:06.569 --> 00:31:09.109
After forcing the other car to pull over, Dino

00:31:09.109 --> 00:31:10.910
leapt out of his vehicle and promptly punched

00:31:10.910 --> 00:31:13.230
and broke the driver's window. Filled with road

00:31:13.230 --> 00:31:15.529
rage, Dino failed to spot the squad car that

00:31:15.529 --> 00:31:17.450
had just pulled up behind him, just in time to

00:31:17.450 --> 00:31:22.130
witness the entire exchange. True or false? If

00:31:22.130 --> 00:31:30.069
karmic balance existed, it would be true. True?

00:31:30.750 --> 00:31:35.890
It's false. Oh my goodness. Five in jail, one

00:31:35.890 --> 00:31:39.970
out of jail. This is not going well for me. One,

00:31:40.089 --> 00:31:43.910
two, three, four. Bounty hunter. I've done nothing,

00:31:43.950 --> 00:31:50.869
Gav. Three grand. Keep $3 ,000 to keep one of

00:31:50.869 --> 00:31:54.150
your guys out of prison. It definitely is. Just

00:31:54.150 --> 00:31:55.890
making sure because I've just given a grand away

00:31:55.890 --> 00:31:58.190
for nothing to you. It was hard counting them

00:31:58.190 --> 00:32:00.089
out. It's like Monopoly money. It's that weird

00:32:00.089 --> 00:32:01.849
paper that sticks together and you can't really

00:32:01.849 --> 00:32:06.009
tell. Three. Oh, yay, I can buy some guys out.

00:32:06.089 --> 00:32:08.490
I've landed on a court space. Two grand per head.

00:32:08.670 --> 00:32:13.490
One, two, one, two, one, two. I'm leaving myself

00:32:13.490 --> 00:32:16.930
with $1 ,000. I'm buying three of my guys back.

00:32:18.119 --> 00:32:20.680
Who's coming out? We've got... They've been in

00:32:20.680 --> 00:32:23.859
the longest. We've got Mad Dog, Sneakers and

00:32:23.859 --> 00:32:28.980
The Bull. Yeah. Right. Dice is here. Two. No,

00:32:29.000 --> 00:32:33.039
that's me. Oh. Caught. Blackmail. Oh, no. Oh.

00:32:34.299 --> 00:32:37.059
I've now got no money, but I've still got players

00:32:37.059 --> 00:32:39.180
in the game, so we're okay. Yeah, you can still

00:32:39.180 --> 00:32:43.420
make it back. Oh, hang on. Yeah, it's my go now.

00:32:43.559 --> 00:32:49.529
What the... Even as I did that... Bounty hunter.

00:32:50.210 --> 00:32:52.849
Oh, no. One of my people's going to have to go

00:32:52.849 --> 00:32:55.670
to prison. There we are. Just got them out as

00:32:55.670 --> 00:32:57.410
well. Yeah, landed on a bounty hunter's square.

00:32:57.470 --> 00:32:59.170
I don't have any money, so I can't buy anyone

00:32:59.170 --> 00:33:01.450
out. So sneakers has gone back to prison. Terrible

00:33:01.450 --> 00:33:07.009
value for money. It really is. Four. Court. I've

00:33:07.009 --> 00:33:09.250
got nobody. You've got no one in prison. Oh,

00:33:09.250 --> 00:33:14.269
can I buy? Yes, you can. You can buy two more.

00:33:15.150 --> 00:33:17.569
I'm just going to get one guy. I'm buying...

00:33:17.980 --> 00:33:20.859
Let's have a look at some names. Carry on, Bleddock.

00:33:21.700 --> 00:33:26.079
Okay. Five. Oh, Rat Boy. I'm not going to get

00:33:26.079 --> 00:33:30.019
somebody called Rat Boy. Stabbed in the back.

00:33:30.380 --> 00:33:37.940
Lose a turn. You get two goes. What? Right. I

00:33:37.940 --> 00:33:39.460
landed on the stabbed in the back square and

00:33:39.460 --> 00:33:42.019
I lose a turn. So you get two goes in a row now,

00:33:42.059 --> 00:33:43.700
I guess. That's how it works on a two -player

00:33:43.700 --> 00:33:47.640
game, right? Which one of you guys is snitching?

00:33:47.930 --> 00:33:49.690
Oh, I think it must be fucking sneakers. He's

00:33:49.690 --> 00:33:54.309
always in jail. Three. Oh, sorry, that's not

00:33:54.309 --> 00:34:00.309
my game there. Blank. Oh, my roll again. Two.

00:34:01.750 --> 00:34:06.630
Blackmail. Oh. Hang on. What happens if I can't

00:34:06.630 --> 00:34:10.510
pay you? If a player lands on a space... They

00:34:10.510 --> 00:34:13.130
must blackmail the player of their choice who

00:34:13.130 --> 00:34:16.070
must pay them $1 ,000 to buy their silence. The

00:34:16.070 --> 00:34:19.070
player's turn is now over. Play continues clockwise.

00:34:20.210 --> 00:34:25.769
I guess you can't. I guess I'll owe you. It's

00:34:25.769 --> 00:34:27.369
funny how there's not a contingency for that.

00:34:27.690 --> 00:34:30.289
Two, three, four, five. Blackmail. Well, I'll

00:34:30.289 --> 00:34:31.769
tell you what. Let's call it quits. We'll call

00:34:31.769 --> 00:34:35.630
it even. I don't owe you. You don't owe me. Mob's

00:34:35.630 --> 00:34:40.809
disagreement. Four, five, six. Six. Oh, you got

00:34:40.809 --> 00:34:45.010
stabbed in the back. Use a turn. One. Art gallery

00:34:45.010 --> 00:34:50.590
heist. Well, I'm going to go two. So you could

00:34:50.590 --> 00:34:54.210
get three grand. Or lose two more people. Freezing.

00:34:55.329 --> 00:34:58.309
After scoping out the local meat warehouse, thieves

00:34:58.309 --> 00:35:00.750
Carol and John Rubin thought they could rob a

00:35:00.750 --> 00:35:02.750
meat truck while the warehouse had its lunch

00:35:02.750 --> 00:35:04.889
break. The two were able to enter the truck.

00:35:05.239 --> 00:35:06.960
However, after forgetting to leave the door open,

00:35:07.159 --> 00:35:09.340
they were found very cold and an hour later were

00:35:09.340 --> 00:35:14.340
handed over to police. False. Correct. Yay! I

00:35:14.340 --> 00:35:17.820
get some money back. One, two, three, and I get

00:35:17.820 --> 00:35:20.260
a second go. Because you had to miss a turn.

00:35:20.619 --> 00:35:23.559
One, two. Ooh! I'm going to move those two guys

00:35:23.559 --> 00:35:26.480
to that square as well. Same two guys on a different

00:35:26.480 --> 00:35:28.559
mission, Russian roulette, and this is for one

00:35:28.559 --> 00:35:35.949
grand per head. Yep. Lambo no -go. Ray Zed, or

00:35:35.949 --> 00:35:39.789
Z, I guess, being American, was convicted of

00:35:39.789 --> 00:35:42.570
a grand theft auto three times. He couldn't resist

00:35:42.570 --> 00:35:45.869
a fourth, where he stole a $200 ,000 Lamborghini

00:35:45.869 --> 00:35:47.849
from the doors of an open repair shop while the

00:35:47.849 --> 00:35:49.969
mechanic wasn't looking. He got a quarter of

00:35:49.969 --> 00:35:52.010
a mile down the road when he rear -ended a truck.

00:35:52.469 --> 00:35:54.449
The Lambo was in the shop for a serious brake

00:35:54.449 --> 00:35:59.650
repair. False. Well done. I was thinking, no

00:35:59.650 --> 00:36:01.510
one's going to leave keys in a Lambo outside

00:36:01.510 --> 00:36:04.800
a garage, are they? It was in the garage. The

00:36:04.800 --> 00:36:09.940
doors were just open. Your turn. But it's a lie

00:36:09.940 --> 00:36:12.659
either way. Nothing for a start. Nothing for

00:36:12.659 --> 00:36:18.119
a start. Square. Three. Armoured car. Two grand

00:36:18.119 --> 00:36:24.519
per head. Going two again. Chains down. A band

00:36:24.519 --> 00:36:26.420
of British thieves wrapped chains around a cash

00:36:26.420 --> 00:36:28.119
machine and with the help of their car tried

00:36:28.119 --> 00:36:33.420
to steal a machine. True. Oh yeah. Unfortunately

00:36:33.420 --> 00:36:35.320
for them, the machine didn't move and all that

00:36:35.320 --> 00:36:36.900
was left behind were the car's rear bumper and

00:36:36.900 --> 00:36:40.039
licence plate. Or number plate. Number plate.

00:36:40.280 --> 00:36:42.420
Led the rest of the entire gang. That's serious.

00:36:42.420 --> 00:36:45.880
Yeah, yeah, true. Brilliant. Only British people

00:36:45.880 --> 00:36:48.539
do really stupid shit like that. There we go.

00:36:51.340 --> 00:36:56.679
Five. Nothing. Blank square. I should say corner

00:36:56.679 --> 00:37:00.409
square. I got another heist square. Royal jewel

00:37:00.409 --> 00:37:03.050
heist, one grand per crew member. Going to again.

00:37:04.809 --> 00:37:08.030
Money drop. Robert Williams thought it was his

00:37:08.030 --> 00:37:10.909
lucky day after he stole more than $20 ,000 from

00:37:10.909 --> 00:37:13.789
a bank in Maryland. Unfortunately, he'd used

00:37:13.789 --> 00:37:15.789
an upturned umbrella as a money receptacle, which

00:37:15.789 --> 00:37:17.789
would leak cash any time he began to run away.

00:37:18.409 --> 00:37:20.369
The setback ensured police were able to catch

00:37:20.369 --> 00:37:22.170
up with him and arrest him shortly after his

00:37:22.170 --> 00:37:23.710
heist. Is that because they were following the

00:37:23.710 --> 00:37:26.570
literal trail of money? Yeah. False. Oh, it's

00:37:26.570 --> 00:37:30.530
true. We found that criminal. Two more people

00:37:30.530 --> 00:37:35.989
in jail. Fudgy now. I got one out, five in. Five.

00:37:37.429 --> 00:37:39.650
Nothing again. If you keep landing on blank squares,

00:37:39.949 --> 00:37:43.110
it will help. One, two, three. Safe deposit box,

00:37:43.289 --> 00:37:45.309
three grand per crew member. I've only got one

00:37:45.309 --> 00:37:47.610
left, so this could be the last go of the game,

00:37:47.650 --> 00:37:51.659
guys. Santa's helper. A 20 -year -old college

00:37:51.659 --> 00:37:54.039
student booked into a Washington jail for underage

00:37:54.039 --> 00:37:55.920
drinking was later seen on surveillance video

00:37:55.920 --> 00:37:58.119
attempting to seal packages beneath a Christmas

00:37:58.119 --> 00:38:00.340
tree at the Pullman Police Department as he left

00:38:00.340 --> 00:38:02.739
the building. Just when he thought he was out,

00:38:02.739 --> 00:38:06.599
they pulled him back in. Ah, I didn't do my godfather

00:38:06.599 --> 00:38:10.679
impression at the end because I can't. False.

00:38:13.469 --> 00:38:17.030
Oh, it's true. Oh, no, you win. Game over. All

00:38:17.030 --> 00:38:19.769
of my people are in jail. All of my people are

00:38:19.769 --> 00:38:22.429
out. This has happened exactly the same way as

00:38:22.429 --> 00:38:25.269
last time. I don't remember how it ended last

00:38:25.269 --> 00:38:27.250
time. It ended up with all of my people being

00:38:27.250 --> 00:38:31.389
in jail. We've only got a minute and a half left

00:38:31.389 --> 00:38:33.050
anyway, so we couldn't even get another game

00:38:33.050 --> 00:38:34.710
in properly. How much money did you get in the

00:38:34.710 --> 00:38:36.869
end? Let's have a look at our ill -gotten gains.

00:38:38.449 --> 00:38:46.469
Total it up. Pathetic. Very poor returns. I got

00:38:46.469 --> 00:38:50.469
eight grand. I got nine grand. Oh. But all my

00:38:50.469 --> 00:38:52.429
guys are in jail. All yours are free. So you

00:38:52.429 --> 00:38:56.349
win. Congratulations. Adam wins yet another game.

00:38:56.929 --> 00:39:04.389
I hope this is recorded properly. Me too. BibioTat

00:39:04.389 --> 00:39:08.389
time. Much like the tat, it is prearranged. Oh,

00:39:08.389 --> 00:39:13.550
yes. For this, we ruined a set of books. that

00:39:13.550 --> 00:39:16.690
were outside YMCA in the free section. Yeah,

00:39:16.710 --> 00:39:19.550
we took four books out of a collection that was

00:39:19.550 --> 00:39:22.590
at least double figures. High 20s, early 30s,

00:39:22.590 --> 00:39:25.829
possibly mid 30s. We just took books that interested

00:39:25.829 --> 00:39:28.150
ourselves. What did you pick out of the selection?

00:39:28.469 --> 00:39:30.230
I picked out, or do you want to, should we say

00:39:30.230 --> 00:39:34.429
what? book series is first, I guess. So what

00:39:34.429 --> 00:39:37.809
the book series slash collection is, is Disney's

00:39:37.809 --> 00:39:40.010
Wonderful World of Knowledge. I'm not entirely

00:39:40.010 --> 00:39:41.809
sure when they were printed. Did you find that

00:39:41.809 --> 00:39:45.329
out? Oh, hang on. I didn't look. 1982 was the

00:39:45.329 --> 00:39:47.789
latest date, just on the inside. First published

00:39:47.789 --> 00:39:53.119
71, republished 73, republished 82. So... A bit

00:39:53.119 --> 00:39:55.639
like the Britannica Encyclopedia, really, but

00:39:55.639 --> 00:39:59.599
for kids. Mickey Mouse is your narrator. He takes

00:39:59.599 --> 00:40:02.679
you on journeys through different things. And

00:40:02.679 --> 00:40:06.320
I picked up Exploration and Discovery, The Far

00:40:06.320 --> 00:40:09.159
West and Great Leaders. What did you pick up?

00:40:09.320 --> 00:40:13.480
I got Great Britain and Ireland. Do you want

00:40:13.480 --> 00:40:15.519
to do your books first? Yeah, sure. That's fine.

00:40:16.119 --> 00:40:19.260
I've picked out one story in each of the three

00:40:19.260 --> 00:40:23.559
books. So from Exploration and Discovery, Vikings

00:40:23.559 --> 00:40:27.199
Discover America. So there's this big conspiracy

00:40:27.199 --> 00:40:31.840
slash maybe fact, maybe not conspiracy. Eric

00:40:31.840 --> 00:40:35.880
the Red? May have been something to do with Eric

00:40:35.880 --> 00:40:39.400
the Red that somehow accidentally ended up in

00:40:39.400 --> 00:40:41.980
North America somewhere. And people have been

00:40:41.980 --> 00:40:44.019
saying for a long time Vikings discovered America

00:40:44.019 --> 00:40:47.239
long before Columbus did. But it is hotly debated.

00:40:47.539 --> 00:40:50.519
However, this is Mickey Mouse's opinion on the

00:40:50.519 --> 00:40:54.260
matter. The Vikings discover America. Oh, the

00:40:54.260 --> 00:40:58.300
Vikings discover America. Well, we'll just keep

00:40:58.300 --> 00:41:01.900
that bit in. I can't get that high. I can't even

00:41:01.900 --> 00:41:05.139
get that high. The Vikings discover America.

00:41:05.519 --> 00:41:09.360
Nice. Among the famous Viking explorers was a

00:41:09.360 --> 00:41:12.960
man who was nicknamed eric the red because guess

00:41:12.960 --> 00:41:16.360
what he had red hair and a beard eric grew up

00:41:16.360 --> 00:41:18.739
in iceland where his father had been sent as

00:41:18.739 --> 00:41:21.539
punishment for having killed another viking eric

00:41:21.539 --> 00:41:23.940
had a terrible temper and one day he killed one

00:41:23.940 --> 00:41:26.320
of his neighbors in a fight the vikings declared

00:41:26.320 --> 00:41:29.219
him an outlaw and ordered him to leave iceland

00:41:29.219 --> 00:41:32.199
for a total of three years eric and his family

00:41:32.199 --> 00:41:34.119
his friends loaded all their possessions into

00:41:34.119 --> 00:41:38.179
25 ships and sailed away Other Vikings told them

00:41:38.179 --> 00:41:40.739
about a large island to the west, so they headed

00:41:40.739 --> 00:41:42.800
in that direction. Eventually, they landed on

00:41:42.800 --> 00:41:45.260
a rugged coast of this island. Although it was

00:41:45.260 --> 00:41:48.159
mostly icy wasteland, Eric called it Greenland.

00:41:48.400 --> 00:41:51.239
He hoped the name would attract settlers, which

00:41:51.239 --> 00:41:53.780
it did. I love how this is so, honestly, Disney

00:41:53.780 --> 00:41:56.559
glosses over so much. A Viking settlement was

00:41:56.559 --> 00:42:00.000
started around AD 985. It lasted more than 400

00:42:00.000 --> 00:42:03.300
years. Eric had a son who was named Leif Erikson,

00:42:03.420 --> 00:42:06.769
also known as Leif the Lucky. Leif too was an

00:42:06.769 --> 00:42:09.909
explorer. Around the year 1000, Leif and his

00:42:09.909 --> 00:42:11.989
crew were caught in a storm while sailing from

00:42:11.989 --> 00:42:14.750
Norway to Greenland. For many days, they were

00:42:14.750 --> 00:42:18.090
lost at sea. At last, they sighted land, the

00:42:18.090 --> 00:42:21.340
coast of North America. Or did they? I don't

00:42:21.340 --> 00:42:24.539
know. No one is sure where Leif and his men first

00:42:24.539 --> 00:42:27.340
came ashore. It may have been as far north as

00:42:27.340 --> 00:42:29.739
the Labrador in present -day Canada or as far

00:42:29.739 --> 00:42:32.480
south as Virginia. The Vikings described the

00:42:32.480 --> 00:42:35.000
place as being covered by vast forests, wheat

00:42:35.000 --> 00:42:37.840
fields and grapevines. They called it Vinland

00:42:37.840 --> 00:42:41.900
or Wineland. Other expeditions followed and settlements

00:42:41.900 --> 00:42:47.659
were built. However, the Indians, the native

00:42:48.199 --> 00:42:52.099
of the lands of America. Books were published

00:42:52.099 --> 00:42:56.179
in the 70s. Later drove out the Vikings, but

00:42:56.179 --> 00:42:59.000
the fact remains, boys and girls, that the Vikings

00:42:59.000 --> 00:43:02.119
discovered America 500 years before Columbus.

00:43:02.420 --> 00:43:05.780
And then there's some photos of presumably what

00:43:05.780 --> 00:43:08.579
a Viking hut would look like and some gold jewellery

00:43:08.579 --> 00:43:12.920
and bits and bobs. Yeah, stuff that apparently

00:43:12.920 --> 00:43:14.880
has been found in North America and has to do

00:43:14.880 --> 00:43:17.079
with the Vikings. How else would it have got

00:43:17.079 --> 00:43:21.460
there? Yeah, just, you know, aliens. So that's

00:43:21.460 --> 00:43:26.199
exploration and discovery. The Far West, I am

00:43:26.199 --> 00:43:29.460
going to gloss over this one. I have picked out...

00:43:29.460 --> 00:43:32.440
What attracted you to that particular book? Um...

00:43:32.699 --> 00:43:35.360
See how they reported it? There were various

00:43:35.360 --> 00:43:38.320
reasons I picked up this book. Number one is

00:43:38.320 --> 00:43:41.400
that I listened to an excellent podcast by two

00:43:41.400 --> 00:43:44.500
women in America called Someplace Underneath.

00:43:44.719 --> 00:43:48.880
And they are currently doing a series on the

00:43:48.880 --> 00:43:52.320
Mormon church, the Latter -day Saints. And I've

00:43:52.320 --> 00:43:56.139
watched Primal America not long ago, which...

00:43:56.730 --> 00:43:59.250
covers the Brigham Young story to a certain degree,

00:43:59.429 --> 00:44:03.710
and probably reasonably more accurately than

00:44:03.710 --> 00:44:06.550
most people would like to see it portrayed. And

00:44:06.550 --> 00:44:08.710
obviously those two lovely Mormon girls that

00:44:08.710 --> 00:44:11.829
I bumped into that one time in town and had a

00:44:11.829 --> 00:44:14.880
nice chat with. But also... My dad has got me

00:44:14.880 --> 00:44:17.820
addicted to Western stuff and I've watched way

00:44:17.820 --> 00:44:20.000
too much Yellowstone and all of those things.

00:44:20.099 --> 00:44:23.079
So hence the Wild West book. The story I've picked

00:44:23.079 --> 00:44:26.340
out is called The Saints Go to Utah. And it is

00:44:26.340 --> 00:44:29.840
basically four paragraphs that whitewash the

00:44:29.840 --> 00:44:34.739
entire story and just say, basically, these people

00:44:34.739 --> 00:44:37.659
were being driven out of their homes in the East

00:44:37.659 --> 00:44:40.320
of America because they wanted to start their

00:44:40.320 --> 00:44:42.760
own religion and established faith disliked them

00:44:42.760 --> 00:44:45.260
for that. So they felt driven away from their

00:44:45.260 --> 00:44:47.139
homes. And the only thing to do at that point

00:44:47.139 --> 00:44:49.699
in time was to go west along the Oregon Trail

00:44:49.699 --> 00:44:52.880
and things like that. Brigham Young. That's exactly

00:44:52.880 --> 00:44:55.280
why Oregon was established as a state. Yeah.

00:44:55.460 --> 00:44:58.920
The white state. Yeah, very fucking white. Don't

00:44:58.920 --> 00:45:01.480
say that in the Oregon Trail game, do they? Anyway,

00:45:02.059 --> 00:45:03.920
sorry, I'm putting you off. No, you're not. It's

00:45:03.920 --> 00:45:06.980
fine. So yeah, it's basically this fantasy story

00:45:06.980 --> 00:45:10.159
of Brigham Young having a dream and taking off.

00:45:10.300 --> 00:45:12.690
I think there was like a thousand of them. In

00:45:12.690 --> 00:45:16.329
1847, they joined the trail from Fort Bridger

00:45:16.329 --> 00:45:19.070
towards the Great Salt Lake. And that's where

00:45:19.070 --> 00:45:20.869
Brigham Young went, this is where we stay in.

00:45:21.050 --> 00:45:25.469
So they basically, it was really dry. So they

00:45:25.469 --> 00:45:28.530
dammed the only river, flooded the valley, removed

00:45:28.530 --> 00:45:31.570
all of the lands from the native people, established

00:45:31.570 --> 00:45:34.929
themselves and lived happily ever fucking after

00:45:34.929 --> 00:45:37.030
with no problems. And they didn't kill anyone

00:45:37.030 --> 00:45:39.769
at all whatsoever that wasn't white and wasn't

00:45:39.769 --> 00:45:42.179
a Mormon. They didn't mention how many died of

00:45:42.179 --> 00:45:45.519
dysentery on the way. No, they didn't. So that's

00:45:45.519 --> 00:45:47.460
the Far West. Which character's investigating

00:45:47.460 --> 00:45:50.780
the Far West? Oh, it's Mickey. Mickey's the narrator

00:45:50.780 --> 00:45:52.380
through all of these books, from what I can gather.

00:45:52.579 --> 00:45:56.980
Some of them he's on his own, other than in Great

00:45:56.980 --> 00:45:59.300
Leaders, he's taking Minnie Mouse around the

00:45:59.300 --> 00:46:02.199
world. Oh, okay. Like Bill and Ted style. Oh,

00:46:02.199 --> 00:46:04.340
cool. Various time frames, this, that and the

00:46:04.340 --> 00:46:06.179
other. I feel a little bit less problematic.

00:46:06.539 --> 00:46:08.619
Yeah, a little bit less problematic. So great

00:46:08.619 --> 00:46:11.480
leaders. I've picked out Lorenzo the Magnificent

00:46:11.480 --> 00:46:13.480
because I didn't know who he was. And Mickey

00:46:13.480 --> 00:46:18.369
is taking Minnie to Florence. and introduces

00:46:18.369 --> 00:46:21.269
her to Lorenzo the Magnificent, who happens to

00:46:21.269 --> 00:46:24.469
be the Prince of Florence at the time. And instead

00:46:24.469 --> 00:46:27.469
of doing his stately duties, he just escorts

00:46:27.469 --> 00:46:29.789
Mickey and Minnie around Florence, showing them

00:46:29.789 --> 00:46:32.150
all the wonderful things that he's done. He does

00:46:32.150 --> 00:46:34.230
admit that some people aren't happy with him

00:46:34.230 --> 00:46:37.289
and his brother were attacked with the aim to

00:46:37.289 --> 00:46:39.590
have them killed, but his brother died and he

00:46:39.590 --> 00:46:44.360
survived. But Lorenzo de' Medici... thinks overall

00:46:44.360 --> 00:46:46.960
he did a good job. It's one of the least problematic

00:46:46.960 --> 00:46:49.599
stories. And it does give you a little bit of

00:46:49.599 --> 00:46:51.079
history. You know, there's some dates and things,

00:46:51.199 --> 00:46:54.780
but that's the gist of the story. A Prince has

00:46:54.780 --> 00:46:57.039
time to take Mickey and Minnie around Florence

00:46:57.039 --> 00:47:00.940
on a grand tour. Mine was Great Britain and Ireland,

00:47:01.019 --> 00:47:03.340
a little bit different. It was actually pretty

00:47:03.340 --> 00:47:06.219
good, I thought. It's presented as if Scrooge,

00:47:06.320 --> 00:47:11.400
Donald, Huey, Dewey and Louie are making an encyclopedia.

00:47:12.019 --> 00:47:15.679
This one. It's presented as the story of their

00:47:15.679 --> 00:47:18.420
adventure doing research, which I presume makes

00:47:18.420 --> 00:47:20.679
up the set. I'm guessing that's the Disney characters

00:47:20.679 --> 00:47:24.219
doing all the research. There's a bit of an overview

00:47:24.219 --> 00:47:27.079
to start. They arrive at London Airport. Which

00:47:27.079 --> 00:47:30.119
one? They don't say. They meet some posh locals

00:47:30.119 --> 00:47:34.070
and his son. They're the guides. Right. They

00:47:34.070 --> 00:47:36.690
drive the group around, minus Scrooge, who immediately,

00:47:37.010 --> 00:47:38.869
as soon as the plane lands, he gets an urgent

00:47:38.869 --> 00:47:40.650
message saying he has to attend to some business

00:47:40.650 --> 00:47:43.530
for an inheritance in Scotland. He's out of the

00:47:43.530 --> 00:47:45.909
story straight away. They have a tour around

00:47:45.909 --> 00:47:49.130
the capital cities of the UK, sorry, of Great

00:47:49.130 --> 00:47:51.829
Britain and Northern Ireland, finally meeting

00:47:51.829 --> 00:47:54.389
up with Scrooge near the end in Scotland. Once

00:47:54.389 --> 00:47:56.789
he's a bit richer. Obviously, bias. I'm going

00:47:56.789 --> 00:47:59.360
to the Wales section. Oh, why not? There's a

00:47:59.360 --> 00:48:00.860
little bit where they're telling him a little

00:48:00.860 --> 00:48:04.599
bit about some Welsh, Hoyle. What exactly does

00:48:04.599 --> 00:48:07.059
that mean? Roughly translated, it means the spirit

00:48:07.059 --> 00:48:09.440
of Wales, replied Johnny. I can't remember if

00:48:09.440 --> 00:48:11.159
Johnny's the father or I'll stop doing voices.

00:48:11.940 --> 00:48:14.039
I've done enough today. I like the Johnny voices.

00:48:14.599 --> 00:48:16.639
And this spirit of feeling helps explain how

00:48:16.639 --> 00:48:18.300
the Welsh have been able to maintain their independence

00:48:18.300 --> 00:48:21.139
through the centuries. To the Welshman, Wales

00:48:21.139 --> 00:48:23.840
is Cymru, which means fellow countryman, said

00:48:23.840 --> 00:48:26.340
Johnny. Although English is the official language

00:48:26.340 --> 00:48:29.039
of Wales, over 25 % of people have kept their

00:48:29.039 --> 00:48:31.340
own language. Do you reckon that's about the

00:48:31.340 --> 00:48:33.059
same or do you reckon it's higher these days?

00:48:34.099 --> 00:48:36.119
I think it's probably stated about the same,

00:48:36.139 --> 00:48:38.539
I reckon. I've got... I'm just pulling these

00:48:38.539 --> 00:48:43.000
figures out. X -recto. Some of the pronunciation

00:48:43.000 --> 00:48:45.860
as well. Oh. Is it true that Welsh is difficult

00:48:45.860 --> 00:48:48.380
to pronounce, asked a curious Huey. Yes, indeed,

00:48:48.719 --> 00:48:50.980
answered Johnny. Welsh is also difficult to spell.

00:48:51.179 --> 00:48:53.360
Why, chorused the boys. The language is full

00:48:53.360 --> 00:48:56.599
of Ys, double Ls and Ds, which totally confuse

00:48:56.599 --> 00:48:59.619
non -Welshmen, explained Johnny. Actually, continued

00:48:59.619 --> 00:49:02.260
Uncle Archie, the trick is to learn how to pronounce

00:49:02.260 --> 00:49:05.260
the letters. It sounds always the same. For example,

00:49:05.320 --> 00:49:09.920
in Welsh, W is ooh. D -D is the, as in the word

00:49:09.920 --> 00:49:12.019
smooth, and even the apostrophe tells you something

00:49:12.019 --> 00:49:14.900
about the pronunciation. And Donal interrupts

00:49:14.900 --> 00:49:16.599
because his kids are saying they have enough

00:49:16.599 --> 00:49:18.539
trouble speaking English, so confusing the second

00:49:18.539 --> 00:49:24.119
language. Right, boys, copy down this name. Flan

00:49:24.119 --> 00:49:26.760
-fire -pull -quin -gul -gar -io. Oh, I get so

00:49:26.760 --> 00:49:28.960
close. So close. Well, you weren't. You were

00:49:28.960 --> 00:49:31.619
about a third in. Yeah, yeah. I started misreading

00:49:31.619 --> 00:49:34.099
the letters. I can do most of it off by heart,

00:49:34.159 --> 00:49:36.559
but there's a little bit in the middle. And now

00:49:36.559 --> 00:49:37.800
I've got it written down. I'm trying to remember

00:49:37.800 --> 00:49:43.059
to crowbar it in. I'm going to try. You can do

00:49:43.059 --> 00:49:45.500
it. You can do it. You got it. They didn't say

00:49:45.500 --> 00:49:47.159
if any of the kids were successful in saying

00:49:47.159 --> 00:49:55.119
it. Well done! I think I still mangled a little

00:49:55.119 --> 00:49:56.960
bit in the middle, but that's the first time

00:49:56.960 --> 00:49:58.780
I've ever managed to remember the Chwyndrobo

00:49:58.780 --> 00:50:04.059
bit. Well done. Otherwise it's... Most people

00:50:04.059 --> 00:50:08.480
say Llanfair PG because they don't know it or

00:50:08.480 --> 00:50:10.960
can't be bothered. But yeah, to get that in a

00:50:10.960 --> 00:50:12.940
kid's book, that's just a jumble of letters.

00:50:13.820 --> 00:50:16.420
Yep. That's not the name of the village, it's

00:50:16.420 --> 00:50:19.219
a description, commented Donald. Indeed not,

00:50:19.400 --> 00:50:22.119
explained Uncle Archie. Those letters spell the

00:50:22.119 --> 00:50:23.980
name of the village in Wales. It means Church

00:50:23.980 --> 00:50:25.900
of St Mary on the Pool of the White Hazel by

00:50:25.900 --> 00:50:28.099
the Raging Whirlpool near the Church of St Cilia

00:50:28.099 --> 00:50:31.199
of the Red Cave. Good God, that's ridiculous.

00:50:32.010 --> 00:50:33.929
But there they finally meet up with Scrooge in

00:50:33.929 --> 00:50:36.909
Scotland, who... He looks loaded. He's had an

00:50:36.909 --> 00:50:39.230
inheritance. Yeah, he's happy. He's inherited

00:50:39.230 --> 00:50:42.010
a sporran, ladies, gentlemen, and everybody else.

00:50:42.389 --> 00:50:43.989
But yeah, they go into a little bit of history

00:50:43.989 --> 00:50:47.230
of the country. It was surprisingly good. I thought

00:50:47.230 --> 00:50:49.170
it was going to be pretty rubbish. You know what?

00:50:49.309 --> 00:50:51.329
This is a fun read for kids. I might give...

00:50:51.659 --> 00:50:53.460
I might give all these to my niece if I can call

00:50:53.460 --> 00:50:54.860
dibs unless you've got plans for them. Yeah,

00:50:54.860 --> 00:50:56.639
no, you can. No, it's fine. Because that's the

00:50:56.639 --> 00:50:58.039
only thing that I would do is bring them back

00:50:58.039 --> 00:50:59.579
and read another story. But we all know that

00:50:59.579 --> 00:51:01.139
most of them are going to be... Maybe not the

00:51:01.139 --> 00:51:03.940
Far West. Yeah, maybe not the Far West. But she'll

00:51:03.940 --> 00:51:05.800
be all right with the great leaders and the exploration

00:51:05.800 --> 00:51:09.000
and discovery. That one maybe we can look at

00:51:09.000 --> 00:51:12.059
and bake fun of for how dated it is another time.

00:51:12.280 --> 00:51:15.639
That's very rewritten history in the Far West

00:51:15.639 --> 00:51:23.170
one. Thank you very, very much for listening.

00:51:23.230 --> 00:51:26.130
And thank you once again to Tim Butters for not

00:51:26.130 --> 00:51:29.210
shutting us down immediately. Thank you, Mr Butters.

00:51:29.250 --> 00:51:32.170
That's gratefully appreciated. Links to find

00:51:32.170 --> 00:51:36.570
his book on our blog, lightlyused .co .uk. We're

00:51:36.570 --> 00:51:39.369
part of the Studio Channel 84 network, home to

00:51:39.369 --> 00:51:42.269
the other excellent indie podcasts. There's The

00:51:42.269 --> 00:51:45.289
Variety Show with TJ and Rob. The Untitled Sci

00:51:45.289 --> 00:51:48.969
-Fi Show with Rob and TJ, and Who Takes the Socks

00:51:48.969 --> 00:51:52.309
Off with Ross and Simon. Check them out, listen,

00:51:52.570 --> 00:51:55.050
subscribe, drop them an email, tell them we sent

00:51:55.050 --> 00:51:58.329
you, and tell a friend. We're all at channel84

00:51:58.329 --> 00:52:03.090
.co .uk, and our part of the site is lightlyused

00:52:03.090 --> 00:52:05.949
.co .uk. You can find blog posts for each episode.

00:52:06.150 --> 00:52:08.269
There's photos, links to everything we've talked

00:52:08.269 --> 00:52:11.679
about, also links to our socials. We're on Instagram

00:52:11.679 --> 00:52:14.659
and Twitter at underscore lightlyused. Thank

00:52:14.659 --> 00:52:16.239
God I've written this down earlier in the show.

00:52:16.500 --> 00:52:20.619
At lightlyusedpod on YouTube, lightlyused .bsky

00:52:20.619 --> 00:52:23.980
.social. There's a Discord, which has got letters

00:52:23.980 --> 00:52:25.659
and numbers and links. You can find that. Yeah,

00:52:25.739 --> 00:52:27.420
if you just search for lightlyused in Discord,

00:52:27.500 --> 00:52:30.679
you'll find us. And on Facebook, they say lightlyused

00:52:30.679 --> 00:52:34.139
and lightlyusedpodcast. Yeah, lightlyusedpod,

00:52:34.219 --> 00:52:37.039
I think. We're on the Facebook. There'll be a

00:52:37.039 --> 00:52:39.639
link on there. Just search lightlyused. photos

00:52:39.639 --> 00:52:42.079
of everything we said on the blog, lightlyused

00:52:42.079 --> 00:52:45.519
.co .uk, and I was going to say something about

00:52:45.519 --> 00:52:48.760
next episode. Oh, brand new board game next episode.

00:52:49.199 --> 00:52:52.719
Is it a board game? I don't know. You showed

00:52:52.719 --> 00:52:54.800
me a photo of a big stack of things. I did show

00:52:54.800 --> 00:52:58.019
you a photo of my big stack, but the game that

00:52:58.019 --> 00:53:00.659
I'm bringing in next time is not visible in that

00:53:00.659 --> 00:53:03.760
photo. There's even more. Maybe. That couldn't

00:53:03.760 --> 00:53:05.980
fit in the photo, bloody hell. Yeah, I think

00:53:05.980 --> 00:53:08.340
there's definitely a few dotted around the flat.

00:53:08.880 --> 00:53:10.960
will my winning streak continue even though I've

00:53:10.960 --> 00:53:13.019
got no idea of what the fuck I'm doing most of

00:53:13.019 --> 00:53:15.599
these games probably although I will say that

00:53:15.599 --> 00:53:18.360
Jackson and I played Game of Life last night

00:53:18.360 --> 00:53:23.119
and I won so you're the curse Adam and Karen

00:53:23.119 --> 00:53:26.940
have been lightly used visit lightlyused .co

00:53:26.940 --> 00:53:31.639
.uk for more to get in touch email pod at lightlyused

00:53:31.639 --> 00:53:49.860
.co .uk bye Who? Shut up, fucking cock. Looks

00:53:49.860 --> 00:54:03.159
like Jess wanted to have a sip of water. This

00:54:03.159 --> 00:54:06.980
was a Studio Channel 84 network show. To find

00:54:06.980 --> 00:54:11.530
more, head over to Channel 84. .co .uk now.