one two one two yeah one two one two one two
bollocks funny tits wank you haven't pressed
record yet have you yeah well there's your outtake
this is rightly used with adam And Karen. Hello,
I'm Adam. And I'm Karen. This is Lightly Used,
the podcast where we celebrate our favourite
things that we found in charity shops, things
that are second -hand and generally bargains.
I did have that planned out a bit better in my
head before I spoke. That fell apart very quickly,
didn't it? Nobody knew until you told them. And
I've got some wonderful news to tell you all.
not to win the motorbike on ebay but it's okay
because i did actually talk to my dad about it
and he said whilst it's fun to have a bike and
blah blah blah he's like you are supposed to
be saving to go to new zealand to visit your
brother and i was like oh yeah that's a really
good point Don't bring reality into this and
responsibilities. Yeah, yeah. I want a fun thing.
I have doused the fire of the hole that's been
burning in my savings pocket and I'm now adding
back to them apart from the very expensive £25
night out in September that I'm going on that's
turning out to be like a week's holiday somewhere
self -catering. So yeah, no motorbike, but that's
okay. I've got some vehicle news. I had to take
the Tatmobile back to the dealer for a little
bit, a few snagging issues, let's say. I had
to have it a few days, so I went to get the train
back. First time on a train in about 10 years
or so. I forgot my headphones like an idiot.
The one thing I made a point of, oh, I've got
to charge those the night before. Let's leave
them out. And then after I've finished charging,
before I go to bed. Oh, better tidy those up.
The space of 30 minutes, I'd completely forgotten
the one thing I was doing for two hours, leaving
them charged. That's so funny. Better tidy up.
Fucking idiot. But I did have a table to myself
after the first stop. But not long after I got
on, I heard a, well, behind me. And the guy opposite
me, the carriage was kind of busy. People were
coming up and down at the time. And I thought
he'd said, I think the guy's sick. I thought,
he must be sick. It sounded exactly like a cat
to me. And heard it again, turned around. Oh
yeah, just an old guy with a big beard and he
had a cat in the carrier. Oh, cute. Did you say
hello? I went, oh, hello. I couldn't see the
cat or anything. And it was quite a dense mesh.
It said hello to a box. I thought it was there.
Yeah, well done you. But yeah, Tatmobile's back.
The anti -static stripped hat. That's been fitted.
Huzzah! Under my first bit of pimpage. Well done.
Yeah, because I like the steelies look on there.
So I got some centre caps from eBay. rattle -canned
them silver over the weekend. A little bit too
heavy on the paint. It's only the second thing
I've ever painted for a car. Oh, I think you've
done a lovely job. I put a bit too much paint
on the first thing I've ever painted as well.
Didn't learn my lesson. You're just obviously
too generous. Yeah, I want to protect them from
stone chips. And it looks a bit more rugged and
utilitarian. It does. I like the look. It's butch.
And hopefully we're going to be going on our
first adventure very soon. Yay! In the Tatmobile.
First outing. Yay! Looking forward to that. We'll
tell you more details if and when it happens.
So. I think I might have come up with the start
of a one -woman stand -up comedy show for myself.
Due to something that happened this week that
I've not told you about. Deliberately, because
I wanted to see and hear your reaction to it.
Okay. It's been on social media, but you may
not have noticed. Probably not. On Wednesday,
I'm going to say, I went to Sainsbury's lockers
to pick up a vintage parcel. Did a bit of a mooch
around town, you know, went for a walk, la la
la la la, went home, unwrapped my parcel, and
it is the most beautiful short sleeve. Bright
blue and pink leopard print Lucy and Yak jumpsuit
with a pink zip up the middle. I absolutely love
it. It is so me. I was going to say, it's very
you. It is so me. So the next day, I thought,
well, I've not tried this jumpsuit on yet. And
I'm like, well, I've got 10 minutes. So there's
me in my bedroom. getting this jumpsuit on gets
up to my waist absolutely fine lovely comfy feels
like it's going to fit really nicely and then
I go to do like the two hands behind your back
and flip the sleeves up like you would a jacket
and it just doesn't go and I'm like oh okay so
I take one arm out the sleeve take my left arm
out the sleeve put my right arm in the sleeve
and shimmy that side up over my shoulder and
then I do the weird turn your arm inside out
and put the left arm in and then pull that up
over my shoulder and zipped it out tucking your
wrist into your armpit and Slithering it through.
That's the one. Hoping that you've got 17 joints
when you've only got one. Zipped it up and I
was like, oh my God, this feels amazing. This
is like a second skin. I walked up to my full
length mirror and I was admiring myself. Took
a little selfie. I was like, oh, Karen, you look
so cute. And then I went and sat at my desk,
did a bit of work. And then I thought, oh, I
need a wee. I'll take the jumpsuit off. went
to my bedroom, unzipped the jumpsuit, and then
realised I could not get my shoulders or my arms
out of said jumpsuit. So I'm there thinking,
holy fuck, I've locked myself literally into
a new outfit that I was convinced was going to
fit, and it looks so cute, and I don't ever want
to take it off, but now I've realised I can't
actually take it off, and I need a wee, and I'm
starting to panic. I'm trapped in my clothes.
So I sent my very cute selfie to Jackson and
I was like, emergency text message. I need you
to come over to me immediately after work. I'm
stuck in my clothes and I can't pee till 6pm.
And he took a little while getting back to me.
So then I sent him exactly the same message on
Instagram. Because he's always on Instagram.
And then about half an hour after that, I got
a text message from Jackson going, oh, I'm sorry
I haven't replied sooner, babe. I didn't know
how to tell you, but I can't come over after
work. And I'm like, oh, fuck. Oh, no. At this
point, it was like 11 o 'clock in the morning.
I needed a wee. And I wasn't expecting to see
him until six. And then I was like, oh, shit.
Right. I really need to do something about this.
And I went through the whole thing of, can I
knock on a neighbor's door? No. No, I really,
really can't. So I was like, I need to get out
of this thing. I'm not cutting it. I refuse to
cut it. So I'm there. I'm like, how am I going
to do this? So I try and get the shoulders off
and I get it down like half an inch, but then
I'm stuck. So then I have to get it back up.
And I managed to shimmy one shoulder off. And
then what I was doing was hoiking the trouser
section up. So camel towing myself, right? To
give myself as much fabric in the back. Yeah,
yeah. There was no slack. It was like up to my
belly button. Pulled the trousers up as high
as I could to give myself a bit more. more space
in the back and then pulled down on the side
seam to loosen the fabric off my arm to try and
get my shoulder out. And that finally worked.
And then I was like, oh my God, I'm nearly free.
I'm nearly free. Click teams, don't let my computer
go to sleep. And then I'm like, right, I need
to get this other shoulder off now. And I'm like,
this is like getting out of a wetsuit. And I
managed to get this shoulder out. And then I...
pulled on the side seam a bit and the shoulders
shuffled down, but not far enough, but far enough
for me to reach around with my free arm around
behind me to pull the back of the sleeve to release
myself. Oh my God, the relief, the absolute relief
of getting out of that jumpsuit. I cannot explain.
For anyone, especially women who are large or
have been large, the idea of trying clothes on
in a shop. is an absolute nightmare especially
if it's a warm day and you're a little bit sweaty
because there is a risk you could get stuck in
whatever it is you're trying to try on and we
all think we're slimmer than we are and then
you have to call for the assistant to come and
release you and i was like i'm so lucky that
this has happened at home But also, if I hadn't
have got myself out of that thing, I would have
peed myself and ruined my new jumpsuit. So I'm
storing this for Karen's one -woman show of stupid
things that happens to her when she thinks she's
being cute or smart or clever. So yeah, drama.
Well, if there's not a standard routine in there,
there's certainly an epic game show challenge.
Can you get out of this job suit that's ever
so slightly too small? And I suppose the last
thing I have to say is that I've done a little
bit of social media stuff this week and I've
set up a Facebook page. If you just search Lightly
Used on Facebook, it will come up. We've got
some lovely followers. Thank you to Will and
Toby for messaging me this week. Thank you both.
And for everyone that has followed and new listeners.
hugely appreciated if you are on the evil thing
that is the book of faces please feel free to
find us message us follow us tell us we talk
bollocks we don't mind last episode we did end
by saying that you can see pictures of the mountain
of games donated by friends of the show on instagram
but we didn't actually give the address for instagram
or any of our socials after saying these are
all things you can find on the socials also Today,
as we were recording this, I found for the last
three episodes, I hadn't put the proper link
in the metadata to the blog posts. Oh, yeah,
that was quite funny. Absolute flute. On Instagram
and Twitter, we are at underscore lightlyused,
at lightlyusedpod on YouTube, and lightlyused
.bsky .social. And there's also a little used.
Discord too. There is a Discord. I was going
to ask as well after the last episode, are we
on Facebook? And we absolutely brand new. We
are now. As of now, we absolutely are. We are.
Links and blog posts for all the episodes with
photos and links will be at lightlyused .co .uk.
And I promise I'll pay more attention to the
metadata from this episode onwards. I changed
how I named the episodes. Accidentally. And that
came back to bite me. Oh, you've put the actual
name of the episode in the title now instead
of just the episode number. Well, fuck you. You
have to type it out every time now instead of
changing the number at the end. Not so fucking
clever after all, are you? No, no. Well, I shouldn't
be saying this because Art heard us mention over
the past few episodes we're still open to a sponsor.
Oh, right. So this isn't doing us any favours
sounding so unprofessional. He said he's been
working very, very hard on something. After hearing
me complain how long it takes to edit the show
and everything. Oh, right, okay. Suggesting we
go monthly. Has he got you a hamster or something?
I've got no idea. He said, it's nearly ready.
Oh. Is he growing you a hamster? That was the
only word. He wouldn't say any more. Cryptic,
but intriguing. I'll give him that. I've got
no idea when nearly ready. Is it like an Elon
nearly? I don't know. I guess we'll find out.
I look forward to seeing what the next very interesting
sponsor is. I guess. As you pointed out, we hadn't
said what's actually coming up on the show today.
Professionals, consummate professionals. Maybe
we will need art to get a sponsor after all.
Nobody's going to be approaching us otherwise.
No, we just need someone to read out the content
of the show for us and just slot it into the
edit. We've got lightly used news, tat in the
box, part two of a board game, dumb criminals.
and bibliothet to end the show. We've prearranged
our tet and bibliothet today. Yes, no mysteries
to us. We'll tell you more in a little bit. Indeed.
But right now, once again, for some lightly used
news, we turn to Tim Butters from the Abergavenny
Chronicle from Monday the 22nd of July 2024.
Nearly a whole year ago. Abergavenny man claims
everything we know about history is wrong. An
Abergavenny man, on a self -appointed quest to
find the burial place of the legendary King Arthur,
claims he was blessed with a vision that allowed
him to see things how they really are. The veil's
been lifted from my eyes, explained semi -professional
paranormal investigator Johnny Turnip. Pretty
much everything we know about history is wrong.
I can't give too much away because it could jeopardise
my ongoing quest, but needless to say, the truth
is stranger than fiction. All I can say is once
I wield Excalibur and awake the Great Bear, many
historical injustices will be put right. After
forming a war party made up of contemporary knights,
Turnip and his crew travelled to Llandevry in
hopes of finding the once and future king's final
resting place. Apart from soul -crushing boredom,
some hangovers from hell, and in JFK Jones' case,
a busted up ankle, Llandevry offered us nothing,
apart from a vision that changed everything.
Turnip told the Chronicle that he was visited
by the soul of Lwelyn Apgrywyd in the early hours.
He alleges that the Welsh prince showed him where
King Arthur was buried, and the lake Excalibur
had been dumped in. I've never had a proper vision
before, but it was like watching a Netflix trailer,
explained Turnip. It only lasted about two or
three minutes, but it changed me completely.
Now I see everything in a different light. Does
it start with da -dun? Turnip added, The trouble
is, although talking to a dead prince who has
just come back as a statue is extremely trippy,
I didn't have time to enjoy the mellow afterglow
as someone who's just pretty much travelled backwards
in time and seen the truth. Had to rally the
troops. We had no time to waste. The corpse of
King Arthur was in the Vale of Glamorgan. Or,
to be more precise, Dunraven Bay. The knights
of the TV dinner tray, as we jokingly refer to
ourselves, were going to the seaside to kick
down a few castles of sand and change the course
of history. Turnip explained that as they roared
out of Llandavery in Big Tony's Bedford Rascal,
They all breathed a collective sigh of relief.
It was like an immense weight had been lifted
from our shoulders. Stay in Atlanta after he's
been trialled by fire. After having survived
three days and nights in that place, nothing
could faze us. We were riders in the storm, and
the world was ours for the taking. Turnip revealed
that as they cruised along, drinking beer and
arguing if Tony Soprano could beat Vito Corleone
in the fistfight, the mood soon turned sour.
Bird over, you could pull out one of his heads
on, explained Turnip. He started going on about
how there were hardly any fat kids in the 1980s
compared with now. He argued that back then,
those who were overweight made up for it by being
comedians and making us all laugh instead of
mourning and having panic attacks. Turnabout
it. It would have been a fair point if Paul was
making some sort of socio -economic point, but
his real target was Big Tony. Even as a kid,
Big Tony's been big -boned, but in a sort of
buff way. And although he's always drunk and
eaten enough for three men, he's a grafter and
sweats it out on sight. However, like a lot of
people, Big Tony got a bit porky during lockdown
and he hasn't really managed to lose the timber.
Comfort eating in Disney Plus ruined him. Although
he's never mentioned it, we know his ongoing
weight struggles are a sore point. I would respect
that. But not Paul. Ignoring the strange and
curiously vacant look in Tony's eyes, he went
off one of those narky rants of his and began
boasting that even though he's got his snout
permanently shoved in the McAdee's trough, it's
impossible for him to personally put on weight.
Unlike Sam. He sneered while looking pointedly
at Big Tony. That's a bit mean. That was the
final straw. Tony slammed on the brakes, dragged
Puerto Rico Paul out of the van, slapped him
a few times and threw him in a ditch on the side
of the road. Never knowing when to shut up, Paul
just looked at him from his prawn position and
lisped in a camp voice. And all because the lady
loves milk today. Roaring like a temented bull.
Big Tony thundered to the back of the van, threw
open the doors, which woke up Fast Eddie and
JFK Jones, grabbed a jerrycan of petrol, marched
back to Paul, began to pour the contents all
over him while bellowing, I'll burn you, you
bastard! Puerto Rico Paul was screaming at him
defiantly. Where's your head at, fat boy? I shouldn't
be laughing at this. I was attempting to wrestle
the jerrycan out of his hand, but with his blood
up, Big Tony can be an unstoppable force of nature.
As he threw the jerrycan to the floor and reached
for his lighter, I feared the worse. But at that
moment, Fast Eddie leapt on his back and started
gnawing at his ear determinedly, like a ferocious
rat. Thankfully, he did the trick and brought
the big man to his senses. He roared like a wounded
elephant as he fell to his knees and started
sobbing. At the same time, Puerto Rico Paul pulled
himself up, looked at Big Tony dismissively and
went to light a fag. No, you tool, I cried. You're
covered in petrol. Paul threw the lighter and
fagged to the ground and muttered, For Christ's
sake, it was only a joke. and jumped back in
the van to sulk. Meanwhile, I approached Big
Tony cautiously. As fast as he held the big man's
hand and softly sang, don't look back in anger
to him. This is an emotional rollercoaster, this
one. What the hell's happening to me? I was going
to burn Paul alive, cried Big Tony as I came
near. Don't beat yourself up over it, son, I
said. That a sinister force had worked to seek
to divide us. You weren't in your right mind,
and probably being controlled by a higher power
when you tried to commit, Paul. This seemed to
satisfy him, so he jumped back in the van, he
hugged Puerto Rico Paul, and the two of them
made up over a flagon of fortified cider. It
would take more than the weight issues and demonic
possession to divide those two. As Big Tony drove,
Sir Lancelot's stark warning to me at the beginning
of the quest rang in my ears. Some will fall
in battle! Some will betray your cause and others
will lose their minds to the terror that lies
beyond worlds. I silently sat in the van and
tried hard not to blame Paul for being covered
in petrol and stopping us all from sparking up.
We all really needed a fag. To compensate, Big
Tony put on David Bowie's Life on Mars in the
car stereo. As I listened to the thin white duke
singing about America's tortured brow. I reflected
grimly on my vision and wondered how I could
tell the boys that before this quest was over,
we'd not only have to do battle with the enemy
within, but being as from another planet as well.
To be continued. And the collected works of Johnny
Turnip's escapades are available in Tim Butter's
book, The Manifest Trials and Tribulations of
Johnny Turnip, available now. And you'll find
a link to this article and the book itself at
lightlyused .co .uk. Excellent. It's time for
my favourite jingle. Tat in the box, tat in the
box. Tat in the box, tat in the box. Tat in the
box, tat in the box. Tat in the box. Guess what
we're doing? It's a bit of a change to tat in
the box this episode. It's prearranged. Tat in
the box. It is. This is something we're meant
to do maybe back in episode 13. A while back.
I think. Because I think the third episode we
did was prearranged. So we thought, oh, shall
we do this every 10 episodes? Do a prearranged
one. And we forgot. 21 episodes. Not after a
great start. 11 episodes later, here we are.
Do you want to go first? Yeah, I will go first.
So I've brought a selection of my charity shop
mugs. There are a couple that I've left at home
because they were gifts from you. And I didn't
really think they counted because I didn't purchase
them myself. One mug you've seen already and
listeners who've been here a little while will
be familiar or if they've gone back and listened
to the particular episode. So I've gone smallest
mug. It's the biggest mug that I've found in
charity shops. For a change, we don't have to
close our eyes. We can just show them off. Yeah.
Mug number one. It's the parade of mugs. It's
my littlest mug. It is a very tiny, thin mug.
And it is my Mr. Pickwick. Oh, yes. 252 Samuel
Pickwick Esquire. His desire to benefit the human
race. Pickwick Papers by Hornsey. Cost me 99p.
I think it was Air Ambulance. I'd have to go
back through my notes to actually know for sure.
All right. Mug number two is the one that people
will be familiar with, which is the Walker's
50 -year anniversary mug that Adam and I both
have one each of. This was one pound, as was
Adam's mug, and it came from Bernardo's in Park
Towie, Swansea. I knew I was forgetting a mug
for my collection. It's right there. It's at
the tippity top of the tech shelves. That's right,
I can see it. Mug number three is one of my personal
favourites. I don't use it very often, but it
is good. It is the cat butt mug. Unnamed by artist,
unnamed by manufacturer. It is a ginger tomcat,
presumably, lying down, licking its bum. 1, 2,
3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12. Triska -decaphobic
number of times on the outside of the mug. I've
remembered. Yeah, it's one of my favourite words.
Weird. And then my last mug is my biggest, proudest
achievement in the mug world. It is the giant
HP sauce mug. It's a big boy. And maybe for size
reference, I will take a photo of this next to
my head. I will selfie it for the blog post.
It is a beast. I more often than not use it as
a flower vase. I've never had a cup of tea in
it. I think it's probably... Almost a litre?
It's not far off a small bucket. Yeah, it's a
good size. It's very heavy. You could probably
kill somebody with it. Again, can't remember
where it was from. Don't have the price label
on it anymore. On the bottom it says HP Source
Official Merchandise. HP wordmark. The HP Source
flag device and Houses of Parliament image are
trademarks of HP Foods and are used... Under
license 2013. Beams International Limited. Suitable
for dishwasher and microwave. Those are my four
mugs. My turn. You can hear there's quite a full
box. There's a good old crockery jingle going
on there. Yeah, I must be honest. I've got many,
many mugs in my box -o -tat. Because for about
two months, I think I had a bit of a problem.
No, really, a mug problem. I've had to stop buying
them. I only use one mug, and that's one that
you bought me. The Cookie Monster one. Yeah,
that's why it's been absent today when we've
been having tea. So, I'm going to start with
my very favourite one, which has never been used.
I've got the price tag in there. It's my... Oh,
are you taking a photo? No, no, put your mug
up. Oh, I forgot my one of those. I thought that's
why you weren't getting it. I thought it was
a gift. I'm pretty sure you bought that or did
I buy both of them? No, you bought it for me.
We have a kind of his and hers Warner Brothers
mugs. I've got Marvin the Martian and coincidentally
around about... Was it the same time? I think
so. Yeah, it was very close to being the same
time. Was this from a blind bag as well? It might
have been. A little Lego minifig. Yeah. Marvin
the Martian. Very cool. So yeah, that Marvin
the Martian mug was... Yeah, yeah, it was £9
.95. From Greyhound. Yeah, we got them both at
the same time. Yeah, they were in the posh fancy
glass cabinet where the expensive things go.
Absolutely worth it. Yeah, 100%. Also, this big
boy. Oh, yes, a nice stein. £2 from, oh, it just
says Brick -a -Breck in the bottom. I think that's
British Heart Foundation. I was going to say
it's a British Heart Foundation or YMCA, but
YMCA has got... YMCA on the stickers. Isn't it
sad that we know now the price labels with some
degree of certainty? This is the one that you
got, the Cookie Monster. Yay! This one I got
in YMCA for a pound. Nice. With the Royal. E
-R -DOS. This one I do actually use, but not
as a mug. One of my favourite ones. Mr. T. Mr.
T with T -E -A, with gold knuckle duster type
sovereignty ring. Yeah, very cool. This is kind
of problem -related because, yes. This is where,
yeah, yeah, Easter mugs. So that's the one I
got. My mate Jeremy then saw my tech shelves
and said, oh, you've got some mugs there. So
he got me a toffee crisp mug. Nice. This is one
of my favourite ones I saw a while ago. Oh, wow.
I haven't seen that one before. I kept that in
the cupboard. Hind spaghetti in tomato sauce.
That's exactly the same as the tin of spaghetti.
It is. that's so cool free from artificial colour
and preservative this is a pound from YMCA a
Batman foil kind of I'm Batman reflective logo
this is my mug oh another fancy one this is from
Harrods oh lovely darling and I managed to chip
it oh no so Tony I can't have nice things it's
not that nice again problem mug Why do I have
a Walls direct mug? I'm guessing wholesalers
and stuff get that. Walls ice cream with a telephone
number on it. I wonder if that phone number still
works. This was a pound in British Art Foundation
again. Brick -a -brack. Pac -Man. I think that's
heat sensitive. So I think a map might appear
on that one. Oh, right. Cool. That warms up.
This is relevant to our interests. nicely British
Truck Racing Championships yay they were recently
at Pembrey they were it was a really fun weekend
to watch on YouTube so maybe next time they're
there IRL yeah we might have a day out maybe
if you're interested from listening to the next
ones in July 2015 in Thruxton 2015? 2025 I thought
so Thruxton 1st of June 2025 is the next time
they're live Is it? Oh, I thought it was the
6th or something. No, it was the 1st. I had a
look earlier. I wasn't paying attention. I'm
really sad. I've subscribed to them because of
last weekend. This, I think, was in RSPCA Hleisnini.
Right. It's a Tetley mug with gaffer. Oh, I thought
Sydney was the other side. No, just gaffer. Sitting
down with a mug saying gaffer. Nice. And it also
says, that's better, that's Tetley. And I can
only say bullshit to that because Yorkshire tea
is the finest brew. I will also say, sorry, before
you move on to the next one, that two of these
mugs, the Heinz Spaghetti and the Tetley, are
made by Kiln Craft in England. Oh, actually,
the Heinz Spaghetti and Tetley might have been
Salvation Army downstairs in Tetley. They have
a big wall of mugs. That's definitely where I
got the Walls one from and the British Truck
Racing Championship one from. Possibly the Batman
one as well. You really do have a penchant for
mugs. Yeah, I only used one. I've had to stop
buying. I've not bought mugs in months. Only
one mug has tea stains. And these ones, I bought
them. I can't remember what these are. Oh. So
these have been in my living room wrapped up
on the sideboard for months. Oh, egg cups. Oh,
Smarties are. Smarties egg cup. So there's a
set of those. Oh, amazing. I can't remember if
there's a price on them. Not on the one I was
looking at. No, I can't remember where I got
these from. They're awesome. They're in proper,
like, 1980s brown. Now, I can't remember these
actual mugs. I can't remember what that was in
there. It was tiny. These might be a set or two
set. I cannot remember. Oh, okay. Oh, no. Oh,
more Smarties mugs. That went with the egg cups.
That was a set. Times three, £1 .99 homewares.
I thought that was good for the set. So that's
a Smarties mug and two Smarties egg cups. Clearly
for Easter. Oh, and these are Hornsey. That is
fancy. Oh, this is one I got for you. A Munch
Bunch mug. Oh, amazing. Meet Emma Apple of the
Munch Bunch. That is fucking cool. 1984, Studio
Publications, Ipswich Limited. That's wicked.
I've had these a while. And another one for you.
A cat one. Also Kiln Craft. Oh, twinkle, twinkle
little stars. Little girl with her little kitten
looking out the window sill. That was it. Sorry,
the Smarties one was for me. Thank you so much.
I like those. I've had those for ages. I can't
remember how long. It's probably an idea on the
receipt somewhere. It was the sticker, wasn't
it? Yeah, it just says 0207. So probably that's
the date it should come off the shelf. So have
you had them since summer last year? Yes. Yeah,
there we are. Do you want to take a photo of
all of our tattoo? I am. Excuse me while I move
the chair. Let me get out of the photo as well.
Okay, hang on. Putting my recently purchased
phone camera to the test here. Try and get like
a forest of mugs. It might be a panoramic shot.
Yeah, I'm going to do a few. Headphones. right
then we are back to part two of dumb criminals
the board game adam is winning what a shock is
it my turn yep it's your turn i've got the time
already this time 10 minutes starts now all right
two blackmail give me some money there we go
there's it thank you six Caught. I've got nobody
in jail, so you're go. One. Well, I've got the
Art Gallery High Square again. One and a half
grand per crew member. I've got four in jail,
two in my hand. If I get this wrong, they all
go to jail within the first minute of the game.
So I'm going to go one. Risking one. Road Rage.
New Jersey native Dino Moran thought it was wise
to escalate an exchange with another driver.
After forcing the other car to pull over, Dino
leapt out of his vehicle and promptly punched
and broke the driver's window. Filled with road
rage, Dino failed to spot the squad car that
had just pulled up behind him, just in time to
witness the entire exchange. True or false? If
karmic balance existed, it would be true. True?
It's false. Oh my goodness. Five in jail, one
out of jail. This is not going well for me. One,
two, three, four. Bounty hunter. I've done nothing,
Gav. Three grand. Keep $3 ,000 to keep one of
your guys out of prison. It definitely is. Just
making sure because I've just given a grand away
for nothing to you. It was hard counting them
out. It's like Monopoly money. It's that weird
paper that sticks together and you can't really
tell. Three. Oh, yay, I can buy some guys out.
I've landed on a court space. Two grand per head.
One, two, one, two, one, two. I'm leaving myself
with $1 ,000. I'm buying three of my guys back.
Who's coming out? We've got... They've been in
the longest. We've got Mad Dog, Sneakers and
The Bull. Yeah. Right. Dice is here. Two. No,
that's me. Oh. Caught. Blackmail. Oh, no. Oh.
I've now got no money, but I've still got players
in the game, so we're okay. Yeah, you can still
make it back. Oh, hang on. Yeah, it's my go now.
What the... Even as I did that... Bounty hunter.
Oh, no. One of my people's going to have to go
to prison. There we are. Just got them out as
well. Yeah, landed on a bounty hunter's square.
I don't have any money, so I can't buy anyone
out. So sneakers has gone back to prison. Terrible
value for money. It really is. Four. Court. I've
got nobody. You've got no one in prison. Oh,
can I buy? Yes, you can. You can buy two more.
I'm just going to get one guy. I'm buying...
Let's have a look at some names. Carry on, Bleddock.
Okay. Five. Oh, Rat Boy. I'm not going to get
somebody called Rat Boy. Stabbed in the back.
Lose a turn. You get two goes. What? Right. I
landed on the stabbed in the back square and
I lose a turn. So you get two goes in a row now,
I guess. That's how it works on a two -player
game, right? Which one of you guys is snitching?
Oh, I think it must be fucking sneakers. He's
always in jail. Three. Oh, sorry, that's not
my game there. Blank. Oh, my roll again. Two.
Blackmail. Oh. Hang on. What happens if I can't
pay you? If a player lands on a space... They
must blackmail the player of their choice who
must pay them $1 ,000 to buy their silence. The
player's turn is now over. Play continues clockwise.
I guess you can't. I guess I'll owe you. It's
funny how there's not a contingency for that.
Two, three, four, five. Blackmail. Well, I'll
tell you what. Let's call it quits. We'll call
it even. I don't owe you. You don't owe me. Mob's
disagreement. Four, five, six. Six. Oh, you got
stabbed in the back. Use a turn. One. Art gallery
heist. Well, I'm going to go two. So you could
get three grand. Or lose two more people. Freezing.
After scoping out the local meat warehouse, thieves
Carol and John Rubin thought they could rob a
meat truck while the warehouse had its lunch
break. The two were able to enter the truck.
However, after forgetting to leave the door open,
they were found very cold and an hour later were
handed over to police. False. Correct. Yay! I
get some money back. One, two, three, and I get
a second go. Because you had to miss a turn.
One, two. Ooh! I'm going to move those two guys
to that square as well. Same two guys on a different
mission, Russian roulette, and this is for one
grand per head. Yep. Lambo no -go. Ray Zed, or
Z, I guess, being American, was convicted of
a grand theft auto three times. He couldn't resist
a fourth, where he stole a $200 ,000 Lamborghini
from the doors of an open repair shop while the
mechanic wasn't looking. He got a quarter of
a mile down the road when he rear -ended a truck.
The Lambo was in the shop for a serious brake
repair. False. Well done. I was thinking, no
one's going to leave keys in a Lambo outside
a garage, are they? It was in the garage. The
doors were just open. Your turn. But it's a lie
either way. Nothing for a start. Nothing for
a start. Square. Three. Armoured car. Two grand
per head. Going two again. Chains down. A band
of British thieves wrapped chains around a cash
machine and with the help of their car tried
to steal a machine. True. Oh yeah. Unfortunately
for them, the machine didn't move and all that
was left behind were the car's rear bumper and
licence plate. Or number plate. Number plate.
Led the rest of the entire gang. That's serious.
Yeah, yeah, true. Brilliant. Only British people
do really stupid shit like that. There we go.
Five. Nothing. Blank square. I should say corner
square. I got another heist square. Royal jewel
heist, one grand per crew member. Going to again.
Money drop. Robert Williams thought it was his
lucky day after he stole more than $20 ,000 from
a bank in Maryland. Unfortunately, he'd used
an upturned umbrella as a money receptacle, which
would leak cash any time he began to run away.
The setback ensured police were able to catch
up with him and arrest him shortly after his
heist. Is that because they were following the
literal trail of money? Yeah. False. Oh, it's
true. We found that criminal. Two more people
in jail. Fudgy now. I got one out, five in. Five.
Nothing again. If you keep landing on blank squares,
it will help. One, two, three. Safe deposit box,
three grand per crew member. I've only got one
left, so this could be the last go of the game,
guys. Santa's helper. A 20 -year -old college
student booked into a Washington jail for underage
drinking was later seen on surveillance video
attempting to seal packages beneath a Christmas
tree at the Pullman Police Department as he left
the building. Just when he thought he was out,
they pulled him back in. Ah, I didn't do my godfather
impression at the end because I can't. False.
Oh, it's true. Oh, no, you win. Game over. All
of my people are in jail. All of my people are
out. This has happened exactly the same way as
last time. I don't remember how it ended last
time. It ended up with all of my people being
in jail. We've only got a minute and a half left
anyway, so we couldn't even get another game
in properly. How much money did you get in the
end? Let's have a look at our ill -gotten gains.
Total it up. Pathetic. Very poor returns. I got
eight grand. I got nine grand. Oh. But all my
guys are in jail. All yours are free. So you
win. Congratulations. Adam wins yet another game.
I hope this is recorded properly. Me too. BibioTat
time. Much like the tat, it is prearranged. Oh,
yes. For this, we ruined a set of books. that
were outside YMCA in the free section. Yeah,
we took four books out of a collection that was
at least double figures. High 20s, early 30s,
possibly mid 30s. We just took books that interested
ourselves. What did you pick out of the selection?
I picked out, or do you want to, should we say
what? book series is first, I guess. So what
the book series slash collection is, is Disney's
Wonderful World of Knowledge. I'm not entirely
sure when they were printed. Did you find that
out? Oh, hang on. I didn't look. 1982 was the
latest date, just on the inside. First published
71, republished 73, republished 82. So... A bit
like the Britannica Encyclopedia, really, but
for kids. Mickey Mouse is your narrator. He takes
you on journeys through different things. And
I picked up Exploration and Discovery, The Far
West and Great Leaders. What did you pick up?
I got Great Britain and Ireland. Do you want
to do your books first? Yeah, sure. That's fine.
I've picked out one story in each of the three
books. So from Exploration and Discovery, Vikings
Discover America. So there's this big conspiracy
slash maybe fact, maybe not conspiracy. Eric
the Red? May have been something to do with Eric
the Red that somehow accidentally ended up in
North America somewhere. And people have been
saying for a long time Vikings discovered America
long before Columbus did. But it is hotly debated.
However, this is Mickey Mouse's opinion on the
matter. The Vikings discover America. Oh, the
Vikings discover America. Well, we'll just keep
that bit in. I can't get that high. I can't even
get that high. The Vikings discover America.
Nice. Among the famous Viking explorers was a
man who was nicknamed eric the red because guess
what he had red hair and a beard eric grew up
in iceland where his father had been sent as
punishment for having killed another viking eric
had a terrible temper and one day he killed one
of his neighbors in a fight the vikings declared
him an outlaw and ordered him to leave iceland
for a total of three years eric and his family
his friends loaded all their possessions into
25 ships and sailed away Other Vikings told them
about a large island to the west, so they headed
in that direction. Eventually, they landed on
a rugged coast of this island. Although it was
mostly icy wasteland, Eric called it Greenland.
He hoped the name would attract settlers, which
it did. I love how this is so, honestly, Disney
glosses over so much. A Viking settlement was
started around AD 985. It lasted more than 400
years. Eric had a son who was named Leif Erikson,
also known as Leif the Lucky. Leif too was an
explorer. Around the year 1000, Leif and his
crew were caught in a storm while sailing from
Norway to Greenland. For many days, they were
lost at sea. At last, they sighted land, the
coast of North America. Or did they? I don't
know. No one is sure where Leif and his men first
came ashore. It may have been as far north as
the Labrador in present -day Canada or as far
south as Virginia. The Vikings described the
place as being covered by vast forests, wheat
fields and grapevines. They called it Vinland
or Wineland. Other expeditions followed and settlements
were built. However, the Indians, the native
of the lands of America. Books were published
in the 70s. Later drove out the Vikings, but
the fact remains, boys and girls, that the Vikings
discovered America 500 years before Columbus.
And then there's some photos of presumably what
a Viking hut would look like and some gold jewellery
and bits and bobs. Yeah, stuff that apparently
has been found in North America and has to do
with the Vikings. How else would it have got
there? Yeah, just, you know, aliens. So that's
exploration and discovery. The Far West, I am
going to gloss over this one. I have picked out...
What attracted you to that particular book? Um...
See how they reported it? There were various
reasons I picked up this book. Number one is
that I listened to an excellent podcast by two
women in America called Someplace Underneath.
And they are currently doing a series on the
Mormon church, the Latter -day Saints. And I've
watched Primal America not long ago, which...
covers the Brigham Young story to a certain degree,
and probably reasonably more accurately than
most people would like to see it portrayed. And
obviously those two lovely Mormon girls that
I bumped into that one time in town and had a
nice chat with. But also... My dad has got me
addicted to Western stuff and I've watched way
too much Yellowstone and all of those things.
So hence the Wild West book. The story I've picked
out is called The Saints Go to Utah. And it is
basically four paragraphs that whitewash the
entire story and just say, basically, these people
were being driven out of their homes in the East
of America because they wanted to start their
own religion and established faith disliked them
for that. So they felt driven away from their
homes. And the only thing to do at that point
in time was to go west along the Oregon Trail
and things like that. Brigham Young. That's exactly
why Oregon was established as a state. Yeah.
The white state. Yeah, very fucking white. Don't
say that in the Oregon Trail game, do they? Anyway,
sorry, I'm putting you off. No, you're not. It's
fine. So yeah, it's basically this fantasy story
of Brigham Young having a dream and taking off.
I think there was like a thousand of them. In
1847, they joined the trail from Fort Bridger
towards the Great Salt Lake. And that's where
Brigham Young went, this is where we stay in.
So they basically, it was really dry. So they
dammed the only river, flooded the valley, removed
all of the lands from the native people, established
themselves and lived happily ever fucking after
with no problems. And they didn't kill anyone
at all whatsoever that wasn't white and wasn't
a Mormon. They didn't mention how many died of
dysentery on the way. No, they didn't. So that's
the Far West. Which character's investigating
the Far West? Oh, it's Mickey. Mickey's the narrator
through all of these books, from what I can gather.
Some of them he's on his own, other than in Great
Leaders, he's taking Minnie Mouse around the
world. Oh, okay. Like Bill and Ted style. Oh,
cool. Various time frames, this, that and the
other. I feel a little bit less problematic.
Yeah, a little bit less problematic. So great
leaders. I've picked out Lorenzo the Magnificent
because I didn't know who he was. And Mickey
is taking Minnie to Florence. and introduces
her to Lorenzo the Magnificent, who happens to
be the Prince of Florence at the time. And instead
of doing his stately duties, he just escorts
Mickey and Minnie around Florence, showing them
all the wonderful things that he's done. He does
admit that some people aren't happy with him
and his brother were attacked with the aim to
have them killed, but his brother died and he
survived. But Lorenzo de' Medici... thinks overall
he did a good job. It's one of the least problematic
stories. And it does give you a little bit of
history. You know, there's some dates and things,
but that's the gist of the story. A Prince has
time to take Mickey and Minnie around Florence
on a grand tour. Mine was Great Britain and Ireland,
a little bit different. It was actually pretty
good, I thought. It's presented as if Scrooge,
Donald, Huey, Dewey and Louie are making an encyclopedia.
This one. It's presented as the story of their
adventure doing research, which I presume makes
up the set. I'm guessing that's the Disney characters
doing all the research. There's a bit of an overview
to start. They arrive at London Airport. Which
one? They don't say. They meet some posh locals
and his son. They're the guides. Right. They
drive the group around, minus Scrooge, who immediately,
as soon as the plane lands, he gets an urgent
message saying he has to attend to some business
for an inheritance in Scotland. He's out of the
story straight away. They have a tour around
the capital cities of the UK, sorry, of Great
Britain and Northern Ireland, finally meeting
up with Scrooge near the end in Scotland. Once
he's a bit richer. Obviously, bias. I'm going
to the Wales section. Oh, why not? There's a
little bit where they're telling him a little
bit about some Welsh, Hoyle. What exactly does
that mean? Roughly translated, it means the spirit
of Wales, replied Johnny. I can't remember if
Johnny's the father or I'll stop doing voices.
I've done enough today. I like the Johnny voices.
And this spirit of feeling helps explain how
the Welsh have been able to maintain their independence
through the centuries. To the Welshman, Wales
is Cymru, which means fellow countryman, said
Johnny. Although English is the official language
of Wales, over 25 % of people have kept their
own language. Do you reckon that's about the
same or do you reckon it's higher these days?
I think it's probably stated about the same,
I reckon. I've got... I'm just pulling these
figures out. X -recto. Some of the pronunciation
as well. Oh. Is it true that Welsh is difficult
to pronounce, asked a curious Huey. Yes, indeed,
answered Johnny. Welsh is also difficult to spell.
Why, chorused the boys. The language is full
of Ys, double Ls and Ds, which totally confuse
non -Welshmen, explained Johnny. Actually, continued
Uncle Archie, the trick is to learn how to pronounce
the letters. It sounds always the same. For example,
in Welsh, W is ooh. D -D is the, as in the word
smooth, and even the apostrophe tells you something
about the pronunciation. And Donal interrupts
because his kids are saying they have enough
trouble speaking English, so confusing the second
language. Right, boys, copy down this name. Flan
-fire -pull -quin -gul -gar -io. Oh, I get so
close. So close. Well, you weren't. You were
about a third in. Yeah, yeah. I started misreading
the letters. I can do most of it off by heart,
but there's a little bit in the middle. And now
I've got it written down. I'm trying to remember
to crowbar it in. I'm going to try. You can do
it. You can do it. You got it. They didn't say
if any of the kids were successful in saying
it. Well done! I think I still mangled a little
bit in the middle, but that's the first time
I've ever managed to remember the Chwyndrobo
bit. Well done. Otherwise it's... Most people
say Llanfair PG because they don't know it or
can't be bothered. But yeah, to get that in a
kid's book, that's just a jumble of letters.
Yep. That's not the name of the village, it's
a description, commented Donald. Indeed not,
explained Uncle Archie. Those letters spell the
name of the village in Wales. It means Church
of St Mary on the Pool of the White Hazel by
the Raging Whirlpool near the Church of St Cilia
of the Red Cave. Good God, that's ridiculous.
But there they finally meet up with Scrooge in
Scotland, who... He looks loaded. He's had an
inheritance. Yeah, he's happy. He's inherited
a sporran, ladies, gentlemen, and everybody else.
But yeah, they go into a little bit of history
of the country. It was surprisingly good. I thought
it was going to be pretty rubbish. You know what?
This is a fun read for kids. I might give...
I might give all these to my niece if I can call
dibs unless you've got plans for them. Yeah,
no, you can. No, it's fine. Because that's the
only thing that I would do is bring them back
and read another story. But we all know that
most of them are going to be... Maybe not the
Far West. Yeah, maybe not the Far West. But she'll
be all right with the great leaders and the exploration
and discovery. That one maybe we can look at
and bake fun of for how dated it is another time.
That's very rewritten history in the Far West
one. Thank you very, very much for listening.
And thank you once again to Tim Butters for not
shutting us down immediately. Thank you, Mr Butters.
That's gratefully appreciated. Links to find
his book on our blog, lightlyused .co .uk. We're
part of the Studio Channel 84 network, home to
the other excellent indie podcasts. There's The
Variety Show with TJ and Rob. The Untitled Sci
-Fi Show with Rob and TJ, and Who Takes the Socks
Off with Ross and Simon. Check them out, listen,
subscribe, drop them an email, tell them we sent
you, and tell a friend. We're all at channel84
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.co .uk. You can find blog posts for each episode.
There's photos, links to everything we've talked
about, also links to our socials. We're on Instagram
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God I've written this down earlier in the show.
At lightlyusedpod on YouTube, lightlyused .bsky
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and numbers and links. You can find that. Yeah,
if you just search for lightlyused in Discord,
you'll find us. And on Facebook, they say lightlyused
and lightlyusedpodcast. Yeah, lightlyusedpod,
I think. We're on the Facebook. There'll be a
link on there. Just search lightlyused. photos
of everything we said on the blog, lightlyused
.co .uk, and I was going to say something about
next episode. Oh, brand new board game next episode.
Is it a board game? I don't know. You showed
me a photo of a big stack of things. I did show
you a photo of my big stack, but the game that
I'm bringing in next time is not visible in that
photo. There's even more. Maybe. That couldn't
fit in the photo, bloody hell. Yeah, I think
there's definitely a few dotted around the flat.
will my winning streak continue even though I've
got no idea of what the fuck I'm doing most of
these games probably although I will say that
Jackson and I played Game of Life last night
and I won so you're the curse Adam and Karen
have been lightly used visit lightlyused .co
.uk for more to get in touch email pod at lightlyused
.co .uk bye Who? Shut up, fucking cock. Looks
like Jess wanted to have a sip of water. This
was a Studio Channel 84 network show. To find
more, head over to Channel 84. .co .uk now.