This is Lightly Used with Adam and Karen. Welcome
to Lightly Used, episode 19, I think? Question
mark? 20. Episode 20? Already. Episode 20? Yeah.
Is it really? We'll be at a year soon. That's
mad. All right, well, welcome to episode 20 of
Likely Used with me, Karen, and your other lovely
host over opposite me across the table. Hello,
I'm Clapper. You have to listen to the last Who
Takes the Socks Off episode to get that backstory.
Otherwise known as Adam. Yes, thank you, Simon
and Ross, for having me on episode 50 of Who
Takes the Socks Off. And secondary... Thank you.
We cryptically teased it. We did. Sorry, I thought
Adam was going to say something completely unrelated.
I was teasing into that. Yeah. So we mentioned
briefly, cryptically. Not sure if we were supposed
to last time that I was also going to be featured
on a different podcast. And I've been given the
green light to tell you all that that is the
A Point of Cthulhu podcast. And I play a big
mean baddie that probably swears way more than
she should. I mean, I think I do anyway. It's
made me a Saturday morning cartoon. Well, it's
a very... grown -up, hellish, post -apocalyptic
cartoon. But anyway, they're playing Blister
Critters at the moment. It is good. I got to
beat some people up, which I thoroughly enjoyed.
And thank you to Matt and the rest of the team
for having me on board. I think I am in episode
17, 18 or 19. It's one of those three. Oh, check
it out. A Pint of Cthulhu. That's available on
all internets near you. Indeed it is. Also from
last episode, Crystal Maze. You owe me £10, and
I owe you an apology. Oh, shall we call it even?
First of all, sorry for snatching the Maze Master
book. It was, you're looking at answers! And
I thought, hang on, I also realised, you're looking
at answers on my behalf. Look at the book! Read
all of it! And as you pointed out, it was a physical.
The answer's not going to be in there. No, it's
not. You absolute flute. Apology accepted. You're
not getting a tenner. You did bet that I wouldn't
choose a physical tenner. That is true. I'm just
very glad that I got the roller dice and not
the jump stars because that would never have
happened. And the bits that are fast forwarded,
the audio that you missed, it was Jackson organising
picture tiles and you were rolling a dice over
and over to get it. One, two, three, six. Just
annoying noises. It was more visual. From last
episode, Bibliotet, I forgot to mention. You
can see it on the episode 19 blog post when I
showed the page that I learned the phonetic alphabet
from. The example of the crime that responding
to, I just pointed out that bit in the bottom
of the page, the phonetic alphabet. The top bit
of the page, the crime that they're responding
to. Remember this book came out in 1979. Oh.
When the burglars break into the fur shop, an
alarm sounds at the control room. Well, at least
they didn't specify the race of the burglars,
just the fact that it was a fur shop. The version
I've linked to in the blogs from 2008, 2009,
it says the alarm was from the watch shop. Coming
up on the show today, we've got lightly used
news, chat in the box. I'm guessing first. You
are. The final episode or final instalment of
the Crystal Maze. We've made it. We've made it.
We're finally in that bloody Crystal Dome. It's
taking us. In real time, how many months? Several.
Six months. And considering we're doing these
fortnightly, that's been twice as long. Yeah.
That's how maths work. And it's your choice of
book to end the show in bibliotech. It is, and
don't get excited. Okay, I won't. Neither should
you either then, listeners. Wait, whoops. Please
stick around till the end still. Well, I get
excited about it, but you won't. For more lightly
used reportage, we turn to the Abergavenny Chronicle
from Tim Butters on Monday, the 1st of July,
2024. Abergavenny Man claims he's all that stands
between the world and eternal night. An epic
of any man has made the fanciful claim that he
is all that stands between this world and eternal
night. It's a bold statement, I know, but ask
anyone. I've always been about the statement,
explained semi -professional paranormal investigator
Johnny Turnip. It was Sir Lancelot who awakened
me to my true destiny, Turnip told the Chronicle
between mouthfuls of scotch egg. For years, I'd
sort of coaxed it along, no real ambition or
motivation, other than to have a good time all
the time. But deep down, I sort of knew I was
born for something special, and my new mate Lance
confirmed it. After meeting a mysterious stranger
in Llanfoyce Cemetery, Turnip said, The scales
finally fell from my eyes. I saw things how they
truly are. Infinite. After claiming to be the
reincarnation of Sir Lancelot, The stranger explained
that he'd been sent back to Earth to convince
Turnip to find and dig up the body of King Arthur
before resurrecting the once and future king
and restoring balance to the world. At first,
it sounded crazier than a barrel of rattlesnakes
at a full moon party, explained Turnip. But then,
after listening to him ramble on like a head
kiss for a few minutes, it all made sense. Turnip
added, Lance said that only a soul pure in thought
and deed could wield Excalibur. channel King
Arthur's spirit, and heal the world and its people.
Instinctively, I knew he was talking about me.
In a giddy rush, I quoted Shakespeare. Some are
born great, some achieve greatness, and some
have greatness thrust upon them. But I take all
those boxes, don't I? Yes, Johnny, you do, he
said. You're a very special person. I thought
you were going to say very special boy. I stood
up in triumph, shook my fists at the heavens
and roared, Who's laughing now, you bastards?
And then a crow landed on the nearby gravestone
and started shrieking at me, as if mocking my
finest moment, which ruined my triumphant mood
a bit. Sensing my disappointment, Lance grabbed
both my hands and urged, There are forces of
darkness gathering that seek to cast all that
is good and pure in this world into a pit of
no return. You're talking about the general election,
aren't you? I said. Lance just sighed impatiently
and replied, You alone have been chosen to resurrect
King Arthur, wield Excalibur, and save humanity
from itself. I am old, so old, and have not the
strength or courage to do what needs doing. You
are true to yourself, Turnip, and care not what
the world thinks of you. That is power beyond
words. and the reason you have been chosen by
the Knights of the Round Table to lead this quest.
Do you accept your mission? I replied, Man, my
mate Tom Cruise would love all this Cloak and
Dagger mission stuff. He thrives on it. But yes,
yes, I accept. Where's my horse? Or have you
got me a Harley? Turnip explained that Sir Lancelot
looked at him quizzically before saying, This
is no joke, Turnip. Long is the way, and hard
the journey that leads from darkness to light.
You will need fellow knights to aid you in your
quest. One will fall in battle, one will betray
your cause, and one will lose their mind to the
terror that lies in the darkness between the
stars. Pray tell, who will you name as your brothers
-in -arms? You can pick four, no more. That's
easy, I said. I'll take Big Tony, Puerto Rico
Paul, Fast Eddie, and if he doesn't have to sign
on this week, JFK Jones. They'll be my knights.
Very well. said Lance. It is done. Summon your
men and fill them with courage. Inspire them
with vision. Strengthen their resolve and take
the road to Llandevry in the morn. Hold on a
minute. Repeat what you just said, I cried with
a growing sense of unease. Looking all perplexed
and pained, Lance began. Summon your men. No,
no, no, no, no, I interrupted. The bit about
taking the road to Llandevry. What's wrong with
Llandevry? He asked. What's right with it? I
bellowed. Have you ever been to Mid Wales? Well,
I have. I lived in a cave just outside Biltwells
for four years during Covid and I nearly lost
my mind. Llandaffery's worse. I used to be dragged
there as a youngster for family camping holidays
and I don't think I've ever quite recovered.
The boredom and tedium and endless fields full
of livestock and broken people. I can't go back.
I can't. Turnip explained. Since then I was distraught.
Lance grabbed my head between his two hands,
enclosed in white satin gloves, and said, Sir
Turnip, you must slay this phobia of Llandavery,
or to become your Achilles' heel. I implore you,
gather your knights, travel to Llandavery Castle,
kneel at the statue of Llewellyn ap Groved, and
summon the spirit of the great prince. He alone
can guide you to King Arthur's final resting
place. The forces of light are counting upon
you. Now go forth. and save us all. Turnip said,
I've always had a sense of the dramatic, and
Lance's words banished all the lingering dread
I had of returning to Landovery. When your job's
saving the world, you've got to put personal
prejudices aside. Not everyone is lucky enough
to live in the Mahdi, and as an urban sophisticate.
I knew I could probably grow to tolerate people
from Mid Wales rather than actively despise them.
I high -fived Lance, roared, I'll be in touch
when the job's done to discuss payment terms,
and I ran like the wind to the pub to find the
boys and let them know the plan. Turnabout it.
When I told Big Tony the news, he just looked
up from his game of online roulette, shrugged
his shoulders and said he'd drive as long as
I paid for all the beer, which seemed fair. Fast
Eddie was a bit dubious at first, because his
only experience of Llandaffery had been the bad
one with the Duke of Edinburgh scheme the thick
kids at school used to do. But, when I said there's
a bit of sword fighting involved, he jumped at
the chance. He's always loved a scrap. JFK Jones
was chomping at the bit, because, as his nickname
suggests, he loves anything involving conspiracies.
Puerto Rico Paul took a bit of persuading, because
he'd had a few bookings that week for his Simon
Le Bon tribute act. But, when offered to buy
him VIP tickets the next time Duran Duran was
on tour... He reluctantly agreed. The gang was
united. The game was on. As we took the road
in Big Tony's brand new Redfoot Rascal, singing
the swords of a thousand men, it all seemed like
a bit of a landish caper. But as we passed a
sign reading Llandavery, I knew instinctively
that hell and all its hordes lay in wait. To
be continued. Brilliant. I must have been one
of the thick kids at school because I did Duke
of Edinburgh. That's why I laughed so hard at
that line. Do you want to play a game? Oh, is
this like Saw? Is there an option? No. No, you're
all right. You sure you don't want to play a
game? Yeah, get off that tricycle as well. It's
freaking me out. All right, all right. We'll
just do this instead. It's time for Tat in the
Box, Tat in the Box, Tat in the Box, Tat in the
Box, Tat in the Box. It's time for Tighten the
Box. Hey, and it's my turn to close my eyes and
guess first. Yes, it is. So close your eyes and
put your hands out. The hands are out. Bring
your hands together. Oh, it's quite cold. It
feels like it's a box, board game size box. I'm
not capable of guessing the rules or anything
from this. No. I can't tell if there's anything
printed inside. It's a little bit glossy outside,
matte inside the box lid. What have we got here?
I don't know if that's going to be... That's
the mic. This is, I think, a paper folder board.
Yes, it's a playing surface. Okay. There's two
of those. Okay. Oh. Has this been featured on
the show? No. Okay. So I'm not going to get any
little Nessie Hunt cellophane bits. You're absolutely
not going to know what it is. I mean, you know,
saying that it's a board game is about as close
as you're probably going to get. Right. I've
finally got down to some pieces. Yes. It just
feels like the world's hardest jigsaw. Right.
These are just rectangles and squares. Yes. Do
you want to open your eyes? And the way you've
laid everything out gives you no further clue
as to what the actual game is. No, hang on. I
can see a name. Constantine. I'm guessing this
is some star. No, it's maybe not star. Let me
have a look at some more shapes and ships. Constantine.
Iperanga. I could have picked an easier one.
This one's just called Beta 3. And this one's
called F2. No, I don't. I'm not going to guess
the franchise or anything from it, but I'm guessing
it's some sort of empire building board game.
You sort of strategy sort of thing in space.
You dominate an area of space. Yes. So this is
the game that I bought on eBay last year and
kept super secret, super safe and didn't unwrap
it because I was wanting it to be the next. torturous
board game that we had to play, like Nessie -level
rules. But unfortunately, it is missing an essential
guidebook. Oh, is it online? I've not managed
to locate it online yet, although I have been
looking. There's lots of forums, but no one seems
to have the actual rulebook that I need, which
is a bit of a shame. So this is Star Cruiser
2300 by The Games Designer Workshop. It's from
the mid -1970s, I think. As I said, it was an
eBay purchase. It cost me £5 .98 and the postage
was free. The aim of the game, it's a tabletop
role -playing game. The two big black fold -out
paper bits that you said were a playing surface.
It's a two -player game, so each player gets
one of these fold -out surfaces and that is your
area of space. And the idea is to construct your
starship or star cruiser. and then test it out
in action against the other player. So it's a
bit like battleships in that regard, in that
we've got an individual playing field. Yes, that's
the one. Your opponent's job is to stay hidden
and force you to miss hitting them with any of
the weapons you so desire to choose. I think
there's like missiles and lasers and space mines
or something like that. I haven't read it all.
This is classed as a hard sci -fi tabletop role
-playing game. The game's designer workshop ran
from... 1973 to 1996. Many of their games are
now carried by other publishers. Although I didn't
write a list down because as we all know, I'm
a lazy girl. The founders of GDW were Frank Chadwick,
Rick Banner, Mark Miller and Lauren Wiseman.
Now that's Lauren, L -O -R -E -N. So I don't
know if that's a man or a woman. GDW published
a new product on average. every 22 days for over
20 years. So that is an extensive fat catalogue.
They published role -playing games with fantastical
settings, as well as games with realistic themes,
including rule sets for 15 and 20mm miniatures
during the American Civil War, World War I and
World War II. And like I said, if I can find
a copy of the book that I'm missing, download
it and get it printed, then I want us to bring
this into the games section because... I actually
think it would be really fun. I'm getting into
my TTRPGs, you know, with my APOC friends and
all that. And I started listening to a new podcast
today. Shout out to them, Vintage RPG. New pod
nod. Yeah. follow us on instagram now so thank
you very much to them oh hello chaps and chaps
indeed i'm not on instagram no you're not i i
the reason social media is so lax is because
it's my responsibility and i tend to forget about
it about three days after an episode has been
published well i can't be asked at all so i can't
give you any grief for it But anyway, this is
my tat. This is my game. And I really hope that
I can find all the paperwork because I do think
it will be good fun. That must be one of the
only missing things. It's even got the game response
card in here. Please stamp here so you can respond.
Let us know what you thought of our game. Send
this and it'll be on our mailing list. What made
you decide to buy this game? I wanted to torture
Adam. The only options they've got is Games Design
Workshop, Flyer or Catalogue. I liked other games
in the series. I like Game Design Workshop games
in general. I like the information on the back
of the box. Is there information on the back
of the box? Hopefully I've got all the pieces
in there, so I'll have to... There is information
on the back of the box. Right, we'll be taking
photos extensively of this. We will snap pics
of all of this. We'll snap a few if we decide
to play it. then we will snap even more of them.
Okay. I'll just read their top sentence on this.
It says, The definitive source of information
for the starships of the year 2300 has arrived.
Star Cruiser is both a complete addition to the
Traveller 2300 rules and an exciting board game
of futuristic space combat. I was going to ask,
when you were talking, is... Traveler, one of
the foreign names of it. I'm guessing Traveler
is the franchise and Star Cruiser is a subsection
of that. Yeah, a bit like Star Trek and then
Star Trek Next Generation, Star Trek DS9. But
also you can put down you wanted to torture me.
Oh really? Is there any other option? There is
a box. Other reason explained below. And also
check this box if it's your first game design
workshop game. Awesome. It's a shame they don't
exist anymore because otherwise I'd have filled
that in and posted it to them in Bloomington.
Which adds the value now. Yeah, that's true.
Extra mintiness. Mint on paper. Okay, are you
ready to guess? As I'll ever be. May the psychic
hands forever know thy touchings. I don't know
if that's covering up a noise I'm making there
at all. Nearly ready. Nearly ready? Oh my God,
were you putting an outfit on or something? Is
it fancy dress? Have you come as Bob the Builder?
The heels. Okay, it's a multi -part, but I will
give you two out of the three parts. It's just
a good idea. Put your hands forward a little
bit. I will slide this between. Oh, hello. Slided
between my hands. It's not too heavy. It's definitely
plastic involved in this. Yep. Moving pieces.
Can I break any of this? No. Ooh, that opens.
Where your hand was. I shouldn't be helping.
No, don't help me. I'm being gentle as instructed.
Is it on the correct bottom surface? Yes, it
is facing the right way up. Oh. I think I might
know what it is. For the sake of it, before you
do anything. Before I do say what it is. This
will confirm, I believe. What I wanted to say
initially is, you know the big Optimus Prime
rigs? Like when he's a truck. Oh, I wish. I was
thinking, oh, that could be something like that,
but it's not the right shape. So I think this
is your CD cassette deck. Combi player minus
its speakers. Well, that was the second bit I
was going to give you. Ah, right. Okay. Yeah,
you can open your eyes. Okay. Oh, there it is.
Oh, it's a Sharp. I think I had one of these,
you know, but I think it had the clear top with
the same green plastic on the front. Well, this
is a Sharp XL30. Micro hi -fi system, which I
found in the attic. Micro component system. Oh,
same bloody thing. Yeah, I found this in the
attic. It's a CD, radio and cassette player.
I could barely find any information online, I'll
be honest. Oh, what a shame. The only things
I could really find online were links to, well,
alleged links to manuals. Lots and lots of them
with sites with lots and lots of cookies, and
I wasn't going to allow any of them. You know,
I just wanted to know what year it was made.
I think 2005. Oh, really? As late as that? That's
pretty much the most I could find out. It's from
2005 from Sharp. I will say, the... Push eject
on the cassette is very satisfying. It's also
very slow. It is slow, but it's ultra smooth.
Accidental partridge. Very nice action. I was
never a partridge fan. Sorry, that's gone straight
over my head. You can't claim it. I had a quick
look online. These are going for around £25 to
£50. Which is probably what they were when they
came out in 2005. I've got no idea. Couldn't
find even an advert for it originally. That's
bonkers. Does it work? Yeah, separate speakers
and it works. Oh, brilliant. I just need a power
cable for the back of it and I saw one in RSPCA
for 50p. Did you buy one? No, no, I didn't have
any coins on me and I felt kind of bad paying.
Can I pay for 50p on here? Yeah, it's going to
cost the charity shop. Yeah, I'm not paying that
for... Stupid cable. Yeah, well, you're just
not as practical as me. I'd be like, I've only
got my card. Just take a fiver off it and I'll
take the cord. Put the rest in the donation tub.
I'll try and remember when I go back unless somebody's
lost the cord for the kettle. Welcome back to
what I suspect and kind of hope will be the last
section of the Crystal Maze. There are two games
left to play in the Medieval Zone and they are...
What? Skill and a mystery. Skill and mystery.
Jackson, your choice. I mean, I had a mystery
last time, but I really like mystery games. It's
a mystery. Is that fair? I don't care. You can
have a mystery game. It's Dean's choice. Mystery.
Mystery game in the medieval zone. As Jackson
said, solve two of the three riddles to win the
crystal. Choose three riddles at random. Give
the card game to the player so they know the
instructions. Read the riddles. Team members
are allowed to help in this one. Once a player
gives their answer, confirm it is correct using
the solutions opposite. Repeat the above steps.
Repeat the above steps for the remaining two
riddles. Once a player has answered two correctly,
they win a crystal. No need to ask the third
riddle if they get the first two correct. Okay?
Are we? Right. The average medieval diet consisted
of 47 % grain -based produce, including beer,
9 % dairy, 29 % meat, and 10 % vegetable -based.
The rest was made up of herbs, wines, and spices.
What percentage of their diet was made up of
herbs, spices, and wine? Just a minute. I've
lost all the numbers in my head. Five percent.
That's a lot. You are correct. Five percent.
Well done, Jackson. One correct. Okay, moving
on to the second riddle. To celebrate her wedding
anniversary, the Queen asked the cook... to bake
75 loaves of bread to give out to the poor. The
cook had to order flour for the baking. He got
2 .5 loaves of bread from each bag of flour.
If he already had three bags of flour, how many
bags did the cook need to order? Oh, of course,
with Simon. Yeah. I wouldn't have got this. Really?
I need, like, paper and pen, because I have to
write my numbers down. So I'm taking... You've
already got three bags, haven't you? Yeah. OK.
That's for a reason. 30, right? Yeah. Well, 27.
Yeah, I'll give it to you. Yeah, because I forgot
to take away the three brackets. It says 30 minus
three in brackets, which is why I said yeah.
Yeah, I forgot to take away the three. Good job.
Well done. You win another crystal. Okay, cool.
Thank you. What game are you playing, Adam? It's
a medieval skill game. And what does your card
say? Roll the ball over the words in the correct
order to win the crystal. Roll over words to
win crystal. Roll the ball over the words in
the correct order to win the crystal. What you
will need, the medieval skill game base, one
ball, timer and a crystal. preparation place
the game base in the players hand to give them
the ball the player needs to pick up the base
with both hands either side of it and roll the
ball over all the words in the correct order
to win the crystal roll over words to win crystal
if the player makes a mistake and rolls over
a word out of sequence or the ball falls off
the base, they must restart again from roll.
Well, I'm not getting this, Crystal. If the ball
rolls off the board and cannot easily be found,
then one of the other balls can be used to continue.
Is it against the clock as well? Yes, it is.
I don't know if I'll be able to hold it on this
board until you start the clock. You can just
hold on to it. Right, are you ready? I've got
every faith in you, come on. So it is, the order
is roll over words. to win crystal. Ready? I
don't get to start with a ball on the wood roll
either. No. Okay. Because otherwise you don't
have to roll to it. Ready? No, but where are
you going? Turn the timer over now. That's roll.
Balls on the floor. Oh, well, I'll forfeit. Just
to save time editing. I'm there. I know I'm not
going to get it. What are you going to put in
the place though? You've got to do something.
No, no, we'll just skip to the end. Roll. No,
that's crystal. That was crystal. Was it? Yeah.
Alright, I started at crystal. Roll. Over. Word.
Two. Ah! Bollocks. Yeah. Skip ahead, right. We're
going to the maze. Yay! Let's go to the Crystal
Dome! Skip to the end. We are now outside of
the Crystal Dome, ready to cross over the wet...
bridge that one guy slipped on one time in the
80s and made a complete tit of himself i missed
that one did you oh it'll be on youtube i'm sure
a good episode and it might be on youtube somewhere
okay so for the crystal dome game you will need
the game board 130 gold and silver tokens four
maze master's hands crystals earned during the
game by both teams and a timing device Only one
Master's Maze hand can be used by each player.
Count up the number of crystals won by Team A
and by Team B. Make a note of their totals. Each
crystal is worth five seconds of time playing
in the Crystal Dome game. Turn over the board,
shuffle the cards, chuck them on the board, give
each player a hand. and then do a timer for each
of them in turn once the timer starts players
must lift the tokens with their hands once the
token has been lifted up the players should take
it off the plunger and put it in a pile of tokens
where they are sat players are allowed to check
whether tokens they have collected are silver
or gold silver Cards can be discarded but have
to be put back on the board face down. When the
timer is up, the players should give all the
tokens they retrieved from the board to the Maze
Master who must count up the number of gold and
silver tokens and make a note of the totals.
Team B then takes their turn, doing exactly the
same thing. Winning the game. Count up each team's
total amount of gold tokens, then subtract the
silver tokens collected from their totals. The
team with the highest total wins the game. Okay?
Well, he'll just be collecting tokens for me.
I'm not going to have time to sort any. You have
to slap him. And good luck getting at the stick.
Oh, right. It's not actually that one. Right,
Adam. You get ten seconds in the Crystal Dome.
I mean, you could lick the sucker. Yeah, but
you just licked it without even thinking twice.
I'll just breathe on the back of mine. Are we
ready? They stick to the board, but they don't
pick it up. You've probably made it really static
now. Does it count if it lifts? If you pick it
up on it, yes, it counts. Right, Adam, are you
ready for your ten seconds? Yeah. Okay, counting
you down. Good luck. Five. Cheers. Four. Three.
Two. One. Go. Whoa. Oh, there you go. I'm grabbing
those. One second, four seconds, three seconds,
two seconds, one second. There you go, pass.
And those are the ones I felt. It won't let me
do it because I haven't got your fingerprint.
Why wasn't there a stop button there? I don't
know. Right, how many did I get? You can have
to wait until Jack's turn. Oh, sorry. I thought
I'd put the silver ones back on the board to
make it fair. Oh, yeah. One, two, three, four,
five, six. I know what colour they are. I've
got six of them. Right. Are you ready with a
timer for 25 seconds? I'll let you be in charge
of the button again. Oh, well, it's still set
to 10 seconds. Oh, yeah. Okay. Ready. Steady.
Go. He's not doing it. Where's my hand? Swap.
Am I just not doing it hard enough? Don't know.
Ten seconds left. He's not even picking them
up. There you go. Five, four, three, two, one.
Stupid. Thank you. Chuck me your cards. That
wouldn't stick. Right. Would you like to know?
Absolutely with bated breath. It looks like there's
more than six cards there. Jackson picked up
more than six cards. Yes. However, three of them
were gold. Yeah, and the rest were silver. So
that cancels me down to nothing. And six of them
were silver. Minus three. Minus three. You can't
get minus three. I might get it. I might have
got one gold. Adam might be in for a minus six
right now. We don't know that. God, how can you
think of this domain as a minus? I only know
one of those was gold because it flipped over.
Would you like to know what you got? Yes. You
got six gold cards. Really? So in ten seconds
with six gold cards, you beat Jackson by nine
points because he's minus three. Yay, I get the
pony dragon holiday. Yay. He hated every minute,
but he still won. How does he do that? I don't
know. He wins everything. Every game. He hates
them. I know. He hates playing games. He always
wins. That's so funny. Well done. Oh, that just
stuck to each other. I blame the props. There
we go. Excellent. That was great. Well done.
Thank you for coming around and completing your
game with us. still surprised they won that we
recorded that months ago we did record it months
ago and personally I think the only reason you
won is because I got you that second crystal
oh yeah definitely and also that and Jackson
was particularly unskilled with the spanky hands
Let's see that there. What book have you got
today? I have brought The Pebble Spotter's Guide
by Clive Mitchell. And it was printed for the
National Trust and was a gift from my mum a couple
of years ago. So there's a long story behind
why I have this book. but basically I'm a bit
of a treasure hunter whenever I go to a beach
and I've always liked pretty pebbles when I was
a small child I was obsessed with fossils and
so whenever we went to a beach where it was rocky
or to a riverbed or whatever there's me like
Knees deep in the water. Having rummage. Having
a rummage, looking for interesting stones to
take home, which, by the way, isn't great for
erosion in general. So apologies to all the coastlines
that I've affected during my adolescence and
early childhood. I don't think it was on an industrial
scale no I don't think just the occasional pebble
I don't think I could be accused of stealing
pebbles from beaches on an industrial scale although
there was a stone circle just outside the village
where I lived in Milton Keynes up until about
the age of 10 next to the canal and they're big
fossilised limestone and you took them all? Well,
I didn't take the whole stone circle, but every
time I walked past, I would chip a fossil out
and I would take it home. That's wrong. Yeah,
those stones are definitely smaller than what
they started. Yeah, I think you owe them an apology.
And a few fossils. Well, I'm going down there
this weekend, so if I see the stones, I will
apologise to them and I'll try very hard not
to steal some sort of crustacean in stone form.
You need to superglue those trilobites back.
I don't know where they are. I lost them years
ago for one of the many house moves that we went
through. Sorry. I'm a horrible child. You need
to do some voluntary archaeology. Do you know
what? I did two years of archaeology in university
and not once did I get to dig any fucking thing
up. That's not community service. Two years.
I did two years of archaeology. Two years of
hard archaeology community service labour through
Northampton University. That's why he resorted
to stealing the... They're out in the open here.
Yeah. Two years, I dug. Fuck all. You're taunting
me here. You've got a pillar, a circle full of
the fuckers. Right there in the open. I also
quit that degree, so I don't actually... I'm
not a qualified archaeologist at all. How many
specimens did you take after you quit? On the
way out? Well, I didn't take anything from the
university, except maybe a bad attitude and a
penchant for spending more money than I earn.
as is the student's life. I think my stone and
fossil collecting has reduced somewhat since
my magpie childhood, but I do have a small collection
of interesting finds that I've come across along
Swansea Bay and Bracelet Bay over the last, I
don't know, five or six years. And yeah, I've
got a particularly nice hagstone that I like.
And there is actually a bit in here about hagstones,
but I'll spend... forever going through but um
it's a lovely little slightly smaller than a
size like pocket book every kind of pebble they
talk about is illustrated so I'll send you some
pictures of the inside for the blog it goes over
lots of different types of stones and there's
a nice little introduction by Clive Mitchell
I think did I say it was Clive Mitchell yeah
Clive Mitchell who wrote the book and he's a
professional geologist Apparently most professional
geologists like looking for pebbles as a hobby.
So whenever he finds himself on a beach, he isn't
really looking at the beach. He's looking at
the topography and where the rocks are laying
and what might be interesting and what isn't.
I've only got Randy Marsh to go on from South
Park. Randy Marsh? Stan's dead. Oh, there we
are now. He's a geologist. Before he became a
weed farmer. He does go on to before he became
a weed farmer. The series went in some weird
places. Okay, fair enough. give a really nice
little introduction and says, you know, he's
been working in geology for over 50 years now.
And basically, there's a bit of an argument over
what the difference between a stone, a pebble
and a rock is. And he says, a pebble is a smooth
rock that fits neatly in the palm of your hand.
So, a pebble can still be a very small stone
to a large rock, depending on how large the holder's
hands are. Yeah, so if somebody can have a rock,
but you give it to your kid, and it's a boulder.
It does specify that any rock between 4 and 64
millimetres in diameter is pretty much a pebble.
Anything smaller than that is whatever something
is smaller than a pebble, and anything over that
is, you know, a stone or a rock. Does it go down
to gravel? Dust? Not in this. Not in this particular
book. Sorry. It's not the gravel spotters guide.
I wish I'd like put some little tabs in pages
with pretty rocks on. Did you say how big the
scale goes up to? No. I told you like to 64 millimetres
is a pebble, but he doesn't specify what a stone
is, what a rock is, and what's bigger than a
rock. Boulder. Boulder is. It doesn't give particular
scales on those, unfortunately. It might not
be Boulder. That's what I wanted to know. Ah,
I see. What does it go up to? This one goes up
to Boulder. Boulder in Oregon? Is Boulder in
Oregon? Colorado, certainly. There's probably
a few. I think it's the place where the last
blockbusters still exist. There's a Blockbusters.
Well, there was a Blockbusters there back when
Christian O 'Connell was doing The Breakfast
Show on Absolute Radio a million years ago. I
know there was one in Alaska as well. It must
have closed because John Oliver donated a bunch
of shit to them. Oh, really? So the one in Boulder,
last I heard, was run by a mother and son. And
they've got a Blockbusters museum out the back.
And then they still rent VHS and DVD from the
front of the store. Is it easy to know where
the shop ends and the museum starts being a Blockbuster
museum? I've never been. You can rent these videos,
not these ones. No, these ones are for display
purposes only. Notice the blue and yellow tape
across the door. These videos are for looking
at, not looking at. But aren't all videos for
looking at? No, no, no, just looking at. Just
looking at, not actually looking at. Not looking
at. You can look at these ones. Just look at
these ones. Yeah, right, okay. Yeah, crystal
clear. I was going to tell you about the Picts
in Scotland and how they used pebbles between
AD 200 and 800 as art and currency, but you keep
distracting me with things about blockbusters
and looking at looking things. I thought I was
fiddling because you were rummaging. No, you
were, you were. But to be honest, I'm done rummaging.
I thought I was just fiddling for time. I know.
I thought that, I genuinely thought that I said
guacamole slice then. But it actually says gluconitic
sandstone. You were close. Close for a glance.
This pebble's glory is its deep olive green colour.
Try to ignore the fact that the colour comes
from fossilised dung. I didn't know that. It's
poo. Is it coprolite? Fossilised poops? Coprolite.
Yeah. Yes. Yes. Let's see if he says. Okay. Guacamole
sandstone, also known as green sand, is a sedimentary
rock mostly made of pellets of the green clay
mineral... gluconite with some quartz and clay
gluconite is formed from the fossilized feces
of trilobites and other animals that lived at
the bottom of the sea it's been used as a green
pigment in painting since roman times and also
as a fertilizer because of its high potassium
content Gluconitic sandstone is typically olive
green, but may also be red, brown or grey in
colour. Its surface can be rough to the touch
or smooth like clay, and it may have layers or
fine laminations. So if you're looking to make
any of that Dubai chocolate on a budget, that's
a good starting point for green. Oh, it's green,
yeah. It's been used as a colour since the Romans.
Well, didn't Romans used to use spit and stuff
to make their pigments liquid? It's going to
go back in your mouth anyway. Chewing on fossilised
trilobite. That's where the spit comes from.
Anyway, each page has a description of the stone
slash pebble. And underneath there's a little
section where you can say when and where you
found it and a little description. And on the
page opposite is a nice watercolour depiction
of what an average one of those particular pebbles
would look like. Does he tell you to just make
a note of it, not to take it home? Oh, he does.
Say that. Take stone rubbing. The rule of thumb
is stone rubbing. Hmm. Interesting. I have to
think further on that. He does say that the rule
of thumb is to leave nothing behind on a beach
but your footprints, basically. So don't take
anything with you. Don't leave anything behind
except your footprints. So always take your rubbish
home. So you're just looking for the stone. Yeah,
and he does argue a good case for how you can
make looking for stones not only more efficient
but more interesting by using a one square metre
grid and placing that over a section of rocks
and stones. stones and pebbles that look interesting
to you and then sorting through all of those.
And he did say that the stones on beaches tend
to be layered from the smallest size at the bottom
to the largest size at the top. Which is the
opposite to how you find... From sand to rock.
Yeah, it's the opposite to how you find gold.
The heavy stuff sinks and that's what you catch
and the light stuff flows away. But stones settle
down in the opposite direction, apparently. So,
yeah, he understands that people like to, when
they've found pretty things, take them home for
a memory. And, you know, if it's just one or
two small things and you're not hammering holes
in the rock faces and putting yourself in danger...
Stealing fossils out of monuments. ...or creating
unnecessary erosion, like... like Karen did as
an eight -year -old child, then it's okay. But,
you know, don't go down with a rucksack and fill
it full of cliff. So no stealing Stonehenge listeners,
okay? Yeah, please don't. That was me. Did that
get picked up on the mic? I don't think so. I
don't know if I heard it even in my headphones
or just... you'll have to you have to wait we
have to wait for playback okay we've made it
to the outro section thank you everyone for listening
to us particularly me ramble on in the bibliotech
section to be deft that's why they listen i mean
if any of you have got an opinion on the things
that we talk about the things that we say feel
free to get in touch with us via many social
media outlets we are on twitter at underscore
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lightly used and you can also find me personally
on instagram at food moon if you want to send
us an email and complain compliment um send abusive
jokes to the email address is adam pod at likelyused
.co .uk excellent um because i was looking away
and you thought i wasn't listening no no it wasn't
i was i was genuinely going to put you on the
spot the whole time because i couldn't remember
what it was um so that's why i asked you because
i genuinely don't know the email address Once
again, thank you to Who Takes the Socks Off for
having me on as their special guest for episode
50. And thank you also to A Pint of Cthulhu for
having me on as one of their mean boss characters
in their Blister Critters season four. Season
four. I was going to come up with another word
after season four, but it's gone. Season four.
Not the finale. Not the finale. You're not the
big boss, but a boss. I am not the big boss.
I am not the big boss. I'm looking forward to
this. I obviously don't have enough cool points
to be the big boss yet, but maybe one day in
the future. Who knows? But yes, thank you to
all of you lovely people. Thank you to all of
you lovely listeners. Adam, do you have anything
you want to say? I was going to thank Pine Thulu
and Who Takes the Socks Off. Thank you, collective
guys and gals, for looking after you and making
you feel so welcome. Yeah, they really did. All
of them. Yeah. thank you for listening um tell
a friend yes tell a friend and find us at lightlyused
.co .uk all the blogs and photos for the show
will be on there as well as an episode player
adam does all those clever uploads i just look
and admire and think oh isn't he a clever boy
so yeah please thank him for his hard work because
like i say all the time all i do is turn up and
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