And it wasn't a complaint?
No, no.
Just checking to see if there are corrections.
Hello?
No corrections?
I don't think so.
Fucking hell.
I think I just acknowledged all the mistakes we made the last time.
Let me switch my phone on.
Do not disturb.
D&D, the best setter.
Is that your tummy?
Yes.
You have to get your...
That soundproofing lie got you.
You'll have to like fashion yourself with a girdle.
Yeah.
Discreet under the head, he said.
Cashing in on the azemthic race.
Much cheaper alternative.
Much.
Or just put the people in those compression things that squashes it down in the packaging.
Vacuum pack everyone.
There you go.
Still way the same though.
You've just had all the air sucked out of you.
How much air?
It's kilograms worth.
I suppose.
Or just release a valve when you want.
So I'm going for a picnic today.
I'm just going to release the valve a little bit.
It's like wearing your maternity pants so you can fit more food in.
Don't you tuck yourself up the vacuum cleaner or whatever.
Yeah.
Modern science is excellent.
Oh my god.
This is Lightly Used with Adam and Karen.
Hello, I'm Adam.
And I'm Karen.
And welcome to episode nine of Lightly Used.
And we both share a weekend mooch around charity shops to see what catches our collective eye
and occasionally share some of it with you on the show.
Only the good shit though.
If we find anything that's worth sharing that week otherwise it's to attack shells
that we already got in our house.
Yep.
It's been slim pickings recently.
Not too much today because...
Well I had a good haul today but I don't think you really came away with much.
Well it was because this is now in the future from when we're recording this
we can say what we got.
I bestowed a selection of bibliotets upon Rob and Tom from channel 84.
Yeah.
Enjoy those charity shop Star Trek books.
I think at least one of them might be good.
Shit showspiration.
I should have had him in the room with me when we were recording.
The science of Star Trek.
It looked like somebody was being beamed up on it so...
Transported.
I have beamed up.
Beam.
Beam has canonically been used.
I was using beam because I wasn't sure which way around the T words were.
Beam, that's safe.
They've said that.
Fair enough.
I've heard that at Kirk's mouth.
Famously, beam me up Scotty.
The famous quote of the bait in.
Is that actually a genuine quote though?
Every single show he said that in somewhere.
Is it one of those things like people get confused like the Mandela effects
like they go with Dr Spock instead of Mr Spock?
Yeah, apparently he never said beam me up Scotty.
There we are then.
We've had the first email.
Yay!
I'm going to say hello and thanks to Matt at a Punt of Cthulhu podcast.
Loving the Fallout series as well.
Yeah, I'm glad you're finally catching up on that.
Is it series three?
Is it?
Oh, do you know? I don't know.
There's lots of episodes.
Yeah, I'm currently two episodes behind.
Oh, I'm in the one where they've just explored a Super Duper Mart.
Oh, excellent.
As soon as they got in there...
Don't go spoiling things for people.
That's my job.
There's an option for...
Don't be silly.
Thank you very, very much.
Thank you, Matt.
It was really sweet.
Did they also send us the Hello Fresh or Go Fresh or Go Eat Stuff Your Face box?
Stuff Your Face box.
I don't know what the services are called.
The Hello Stuff Your Face box, Freshly box vouchers were from Matt as well.
Thank you.
They were delicious.
Also, I do have a correction.
Oh, I thought we were going to get away with it.
I was looking down my list.
I didn't see the word corrections.
It's not quite a correction, more of an apology.
It was a week after we posted episode seven.
I've noticed...
Oh, I haven't uploaded any pictures of the Crystal Maze board game to the show blog.
So, yeah, I did that this week.
Likely use.co.uk
Always up to date.
Episode six blog.
And this week is two weeks ago as you're hearing this.
Four weeks ago.
Eight? 12?
Stop me.
One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight.
No, four weeks.
This comes out a month from today.
Seven years ago.
Six minutes later.
I've also started putting my shows on YouTube.
I didn't know there was just a button I could be pressing all this time.
I thought I had to do it from YouTube's end,
turns out there's distribution in. You want to go boop and it does it for me. So yeah,
all this time we could have been having these videos on YouTube I just didn't know to go
oh that button does it. But consequently because of that it does look like we've re-uploaded a
couple of episodes onto podcast streams. One episode episode five yeah. But yeah it's the same
episode it was just a tech issue so that one's not new then yeah it's fine. It's there now.
It's there. Also just as I started uploading to the YouTube second day after being a creator
I'm waiting for my plaque and business card. I assume YouTube hands them out to you.
Flag?
Plaque.
A plaque.
Maybe a flag might be cheaper you know like one of the little hand wave you want.
No no I've seen those fancy bastards with one in the background. Subtly that like when people go on
the interviews for their book where they've got a shelf full of their books. Oh this!
This old stuff.
Thanks for mentioning it. This is my one million viewers.
Imagine having a million viewers.
Plaque from YouTube. But yeah the second day after being a creator our channel got taken down.
That's pretty typical for us.
I thought oh what what. Trying to read through it. The closest I could get was apparently was
promoting your scams and stuff like that. I thought no.
No.
There's apparently a known issue but typical. Second day I could have pressed this button a
week earlier and be like they're all their happy days but no. Two days into it. Oh what the fuck.
I could not for the life of me find any appeals button so for people that do that for a goddamn
living I really feel sorry for you.
Yeah.
If that's.
With respect.
Well this is my job. This is where I get my money from. I need to appeal this.
Where the fuck's the button.
Yeah.
Yeah the reason for your video being taken down is so opaque. Thankfully it means fuck all to us at
this point. I'm saying at this point there's very lofty aspirations on this.
There could be some of that internet money in it.
Yeah sure.
It'd be like there's Canadians getting into.
If we ever have to put adverts on this podcast you know we've both been made unemployed.
Although I could do with a new mattress. Thank you very very much for asking.
And a new car.
But yeah to be fair thanks for bringing this to my attention.
As most of channel 84 I've got garage gripes. Tom from the variety show. Here's McGann.
Yeah.
And the garage. So it's him versus Renault. You versus Toyota.
Bunch of twats.
Thankfully my isn't new so I can't blame the dealer for any of my car woes.
No.
I've had a very complicated braking issue on my car which an independent company can't do.
Which an independent company couldn't deal with. They recommended another company.
They told me yep bring it down this date.
Took it down. Turns out a week after leaving it with them their phones and internet went down.
Yep.
Despite them having working mobile phones in the office.
That stopped them making a call to their supplier for a month.
They did fuck all with my car for an entire month.
That's not true. They did move the position.
Oh that's right.
They moved it from their actual garage where there's going to be security camera
to the road on the industrial estate they're based. Thanks for that.
Yeah.
Just left it parked there for a month during which time they did fuck all.
Not even picking up the phone to their supplier.
And then when they did the supplier. No we don't do that anymore.
Yeah.
We don't refurbish those brake parts anymore.
A month wasted when I even fucking had an inquiry of that booking with a dealership
which I cancelled because I thought I can save considerable amount of money not going to the dealer.
Now the battery in my car doesn't work and I can't get it to jump start either.
Marvelous.
Garage.
They've done nothing to my car but by doing nothing that is what's fucked it.
Yeah. At least when Rob's van breaks down it's his boss that has to pay the 24 grand bill.
Actually can we have some sponsors?
I will be in need of some money very very soon.
No no we will.
Arthur can you make some calls around for us at Channel 84.
I know you've got the office line if you can ring some people around.
Any money at all you can conjure up for the show.
Oh my god no.
Don't know what kind of money he might be able to get for us.
There's no money.
Some internet money.
There's fake money.
It's the time of the show again.
My favourite part.
For lightly used news from the Abagaveni Chronicle by Tim Butters on Monday 22 April 2024.
Man claims he has saved Abagaveni from a terrible development.
Our Mildy Man claims he has put the Frighteners in a secret organisation who are threatening
the future of the town with a terrible development.
They wanted to turn old Mother Abba into a theme park for tourists and use that as a
blueprint to take over the world.
But me and the boys put an end to that.
Explained semi-professional long distance runner Johnny Turnip.
This town ain't changing an hour watch.
Following his fantastical forays into the Abagaveni tunnels, Turnip explained that alongside
his two friends he was captured by the Men in Beige when re-entering Abba through a manhole
in Cross Street.
About 12 men in beige suits fraud marched us back to the castle and tried to force us
to reveal the entrance to the tunnels because they knew if they harnessed the power of the
Faerie realms, nothing in this dimension could curb their evil intent.
Explained Turnip.
Fortunately they didn't bank on fast Eddie turning up.
Turnip revealed, just as all seemed lost and we were about to make our last stand to go
down fighting, he arrived on the scene like the cavalry.
He was dressed like Clint Eastwood's man with no name.
Apparently he wasn't as well from a Tarts and Vickers fancy dress party, but fast Eddie
likes to do things outside the box so he ain't dressed as a cowboy.
There was a bit of a ruckus going on and he jumped at the chance to get involved.
You could see the joy written all over his face when he saw some of his homeboys were
being messed around by a tribe of corporate types.
Fast Eddie's only about 4 foot 10 but he can't half have a row.
In primary school we used to call him the Imp because he had a habit of climbing to
the roofs of buildings and jumping on teachers backs from the sky while screaming like a
little monkey.
Crazy days.
Turnip added, Fast Eddie's not a man to be messed with.
Rumour has it that he once single-handedly took on Boomer Bill and the Bakewell Cake
Squad and was the only man to leave the wine bar standing.
Boomer Bill and his boys may have been in their late 60s and plagued with an abundance of
hip and knee problems, but they were all in the same boat.
But when those salmon red trousers wearing hooligans used to come at you swinging with
golf clubs it was no joke.
Turnip added, anyhow, when Fast Eddie came to a rescue he took a long drag of his cigar,
narrowed his eyes and rolled,
There a problem here fellas.
One of the men in beige looked at Fast Eddie like he'd just escaped from a travelling freak
show and snarled,
Oh look everyone, it's a deranged bunchkin who's wandered too far from the illabarick
road.
That's apparently how we learned to do voices last time.
Pinch ya now.
Big mistake.
Quick as a flash, Fast Eddie jumped up and headbutted the geezer.
Big Tony roared like he was back in the Indian Park terraces and screamed,
Let's have it!
Before anyone knew what was happening, six of our suited and booted depressors were on
the pavement and the remainder were looking at the slight cattle waiting for the cull.
As they fled, Bird-o-Reeke shouted,
Go on, get back to your ice cream van you fools, this town and its tunnel are ours.
Their leader, Mr Citizen, turned around and shrieked,
Enjoy the victory fools, the battle is yours but the war is ours, our name is Legion and
we are many.
I just stuck up my fingers as they left and said,
Yeah right, the first bird to fly gets all the arrows.
Not sure what it meant but it sounded good and it's important to say something philosophical
when you've bested your enemies, besides which it had been a long day and none of us were
thinking straight.
Turnip explained, they told Fast Eddie all about their quest to trap and tame a fairy
and how it had accidentally led them to Aboghveni's secret tunnel network.
Fast Eddie found it all very easy to believe, because he's got an open mind like us,
explained Turnip.
However, he was a bit upset at the thought of leaving Manny from the estate down there
as the watcher between the realms.
His first reaction was going to a violent rage and scream of something about getting
his shovel and pick to dig his old friend out.
He'd worked himself up into such a state that Big Tony had no choice but to pick him up,
put him in a bear hug and sing Wonderwall to him until he calmed down.
Turnip said, Fast Eddie soon grew to respect his old friend Manny's choice and said
tearfully, there is a bit like when Iron Man sacrificed himself to save the world.
What can I say?
Men say strange things when they're grieving.
He's not buried alive!
We even humoured him when he said that if we were like the Avengers, Big Tony would be Thor,
Puerto Rico Paul would be Hawkeye, I would be Captain America and he would be the Hulk.
But after a while it seemed a bit childish and I snapped, for Christ's sake Eddie, grow up!
You've just saved the fairy realms from a secret organisation!
We're no move to playing, let's pretend!
Turnip added, as we stood there, bruised and battered, watching the dawn break,
our hearts were heavy, our minds were broken, but our souls soared with the possibility
and the promise of a cold lager.
As we strutted back to our flat, our shadows are silhouetted by the rising sun,
we probably looked a bit like the Magnificent Seven, except there were only four of us.
Puerto Rico Paul slowly began chanting Underworld's Bourne Slippy, but not the girly bit,
just a segment where he sings, shouting Lager, Lager, Lager!
And as we all sang, we held hands and skipped like newborn lambs into the greater known together.
Are they finally going to get a beer?
Hello and welcome to Tat in the Box, Tat in the Box, Tat in the Box, Tat in the Box,
Tat in the Box, Tat in the Box, Tat in the Box, Tat in the Box!
Welcome to Tat in the Box.
It is time for Adam to have a nervous breakdown
over my surprise intro to the set check.
Are you bringing Mr. Bobby back?
No, I am not.
Surprised by it.
No, this is as surprising as I get.
There is no re-gifting going on today, don't worry.
But I am first to caressing guests this week.
You are indeed. Are you ready?
Yep.
Eyes closed, hands out.
Okay.
Excuse any farting noises, again it is the sofa, not me.
Doesn't explain the smell there.
Oh my god, hang on.
Oh my god, right, okay.
Sorry about that.
Okay, are you ready?
Eyes are closed, hands are out.
Okay, put your hands close together.
And cup them a bit.
Like a bit more.
Like you are cupping a nice pair of balls.
Okay, I am ready.
Are you ready?
Yes.
Are you ready?
Yes.
Are you ready?
I am ready.
That will do, that will do.
Feel my reveal.
Okay, it feels like a little plush toy.
Let's see if we can work it.
I don't know which way up I have got it.
I think that is the right way up.
Yes, correct.
It feels like some ears, there is a nose.
Nearly dropped it.
Oh, something in one arm.
I am feeling, is there a tail?
Yes, there is a tail.
So we are dealing with an animal.
A very small plush animal.
With a small tag, I am guessing it is a price tag.
Correct.
Is this a small troll?
I mean, there is a very tiny little tuft of hair on top.
I mean, the hair could have been transplanted from a troll.
Oh, no, it hasn't got the beady eyes of a troll.
They are all more embroidered eyes.
I am feeling with my nails.
Is it a...
I am trying to guess the animal.
I mean, in fairness...
Is it a bear?
It is a bear. I was going to say it is not very true.
An actual bear.
I don't know which one, is it Brave Bear?
Brave Heart Bear.
Oh, close to my sister's toy.
Oh, it is a McDonald's Happy Meal toy.
It is a Happy Meal toy from the 2004 Happy Meal campaign with McDonald's.
Where girls Happy Meals got Care Bears.
Would you like to guess what boys Happy Meals got?
They got the boy Care Bears.
They got Action Men.
That was the bear, yes.
Action Men V Care Bears.
So, they were four Care Bears.
I can't remember all of their names, but this is Brave Heart Bear.
He is scabby and dirty.
Definitely not...
Definitely not mint on card.
Or in packaging.
Probably well loved.
He is a lovely little orange colour.
He has got a little red love heart in his right paw.
He has got his little red love heart on his white belly.
And he has got his little love heart nose.
And his troll hair transplant.
I didn't feel my nails a little heart tattoo thing.
He has got his little S tattoo.
Is it a tattoo or a brand or a birthmark?
I don't know. Is that where their power comes out?
No, their power...
I don't know.
As far as I know from the cartoons, it comes out of their bellies.
But it is a McDonald's Happy Meal toy.
But it is a McDonald's trademark for McDonald's Corporation.
Made in China.
Did Care Bears have a comeback at some point?
This is jogging the memories that they tried bringing them back.
Maybe a CGI sort of thing instead of just the cell animations from the 80s.
I feel like you might be right.
I feel like there is a more modern take on Care Bears compared to what we would have been watching when we were kids.
Along with things like Rainbow Bright and stuff.
It was all very traditional illustrated cartoons.
I suppose they did the same with Thomas the Tank Engine.
Oh, we are going to do a CG version of that one.
Just use a train set. That was the appeal.
It was a train set.
Exactly. They should never have changed that.
I think that they have absolutely crucified Thomas the Tank Engine.
I guess if Care Bears were rebooted, it was fairly short lived as CGI.
We have no memory of it.
No, definitely not.
Hopefully we are just too old for it to actually affect us.
But this cost me £2 which I think is probably a pound more than the Happy Meal might have actually cost you in 2004.
I can't remember what a Happy Meal cost.
One of the reasons that I picked this up is because it is a Care Bear.
Care Bears were part of my childhood whilst I was growing up.
I had a Grumpy Bear for obvious reasons.
Thank you family.
I no longer have him. I think I angrily threw him in the bin at some point.
Sorry.
I do still have some of my...
You were grumpy at the time.
I was probably very grumpy at the time. I was going through some shit.
So I picked him up because he is a Care Bear.
But also because he brings back so many drive-through memories from when your boyfriend gets his first car at the age of 17.
And it's like, right, let's go out for a spin.
And you are all out in your little mini hatchback.
Your mate is in a Fiesta, you are in a Corsa, someone else is in, I don't know, a Clio or something.
You are all having a little spin about and seeing how fast you can go down the straight mile.
And there is a crossroads in the middle of it. Thankfully nobody was coming in the other way.
But the main thing that we used to do was go to McDonald's drive-through.
And it would be me and Craig, Scott and...
Oh God, I am so sorry. I can't remember anybody's names.
Mark Reeb, unfortunately he is deceased now, which is a bit sad.
And their girlfriends, me and my female friends who also happen to be girlfriends of all of these boys.
And we would just go to the drive-through and we would get a Happy Meal and we would sit in the car park and eat our Happy Meal.
Did the fellas collect all the Action Men's?
I don't recall, but I definitely had a few Care Bears and I definitely had a lot of the Mr. Men's that were out in like the very late 90s, early noughties.
So yeah, this is my item.
That's pretty cool.
I don't expect it to win, but he is cute and he gives me memories, so yeah, I am happy with him.
Can I have felt the heart shape?
No, from nail feel and finger feel, that could be plausibly a regular nose.
That wouldn't have been distinctive enough. Specifically being a heart.
But he is very cute, minus the dirty stain on his left cheek.
Yes, stick him in the laundry.
No, because he might fall apart.
He might not. I'll give you £2, I'll risk it.
But where are you going to get me another one?
These on eBay are like a fiver each.
And there was a couple for sale in Australia with the set of the four Care Bears from that campaign and they were like $16 US dollars.
I don't know what the exchange rate is.
I can't remember.
No, no idea.
But again, this is the reason we need sponsorship.
This bear, this bear needs a wash and it can, with your help, give what you can, mattress companies and car companies and whoever is giving out internet money, with your help, we can wash this bear so it's not so goddamn stanky.
It's not going to happen. On principle.
Not with that attitude.
On principle.
Alright.
Get your shit out.
Shut your eyes first.
Oh yeah, hang on, let me just put my hand back in the box.
Alright, eyes closed.
Now it's your turn to caress and guess.
Give it to me.
And it over.
Is it?
You can remove it.
From the box.
Okay, it is a box.
That's how I got it.
Oh, mind the mic.
Sorry.
My eyes are closed, the mic is closed.
What am I supposed to do? See through closed eyelids?
I've not hit mine then.
Yeah, but I don't know, I'd like to...
What's the word?
Just to kill it.
Yeah, I was going to say what's the word when you like move your arms and shit about to make a point?
Okay, so it's a long rectangle, well square, it's a long square box.
Long thin square, well it's square on the end but it's rectangular, rectangular length.
No, you've got to hit the mic again.
Jesus Christ.
Feels like nice cardboard.
I think the bottom opens here because there's like a thumb dippy bit so I'm going to go with that because the box is revealing nothing.
Smells like cardboard.
Oh, hang on a second.
Have you given me another horn?
Apologies if you're wearing headphones for the inevitable that's about to happen.
You have? You've given me another horn?
Where the hell are you finding so many frigging horns?
And it's really dusty, I put my finger right up it.
Now you can see why I'm horny.
Is it? Oh, it's got a rubber, right hang on.
Beep! Beep!
Well that's disappointing.
Beep! I wanted it, oh it's got good suction though.
Beep! Beep! Beep!
Sounds like a horn.
If you're right.
Just a straight flared end horn with a rubber bung on it.
Are there any kind of famousy things?
Chitty-chitty bang bang?
Or maybe adverts?
Adverts, adverts, you and your bloody adverts stuff.
I'm going to give us a good...
Beep!
Oh Christ, that is loud.
Yeah.
Erm...
I don't want you bad mouthing my horn.
Ooh, ooh, are you making this hee hee hee hee noise?
No I can't make it.
I don't want people going away with the impression.
It's a lame horn, Adam's horn is lame.
You can work.
I don't know, I've got no idea what kind of advert it could be from.
Now you can look.
Tango hook, the tango hook.
So you've gone from having the noodle horn to the tango horn.
What the actual fuck?
Okay, so it's got an orange bulbous chicken baster bung on the end.
And it's a silver horn, probably about 15 centimetres long,
that says Tango TM and then horn right next to it.
And it is dusty as a dusty chaff.
It took me ages to turn anything about the Tango clown horn.
I don't remember particularly when I got it.
I didn't remember the ad campaign off the top of my head,
so I had to do a lot of internet searching down a Tango advertising history rabbit hole.
Oh God.
I'm seeing the most famous Tango adverts with the Neely New Dorwich Man.
Yeah, happy slapping by now.
A guy around the face, after he takes a swig of pop,
they got banned and replaced by the orange man coming out and giving a big kiss on the face.
That is just as invasive if you ask me, if not worse in some cases.
There was a fantastic St George Black Carantango advert,
the really jingoistic one with a guy that says a letter from an exchange student.
Takes off his clothes, walks out of the office, progressively seems to be one take.
Coming out of his office, walking across the road, across the car park,
and ending up on the cliffs of Boverton.
Come on, I'll take you all on!
With some Harrier Jump Jets.
I don't know if I remember that either.
Oh, Felix, Don't You Want Me is the back-end track.
It was a fucking banger.
Loads and loads of awards at Advert.
Only got played about ten times in total.
Really?
Six times in TFI Friday adverts.
Specifically.
I swung TFI Friday.
But for the horn, there were two adverts.
Don't really remember them until I saw it.
Oh, I remember the first one.
It ran about the end of 1997, a follow-up in 1998.
Ray Gardner from the Black Carantango advert returned.
The first advert was an event where clowns are getting run over by huge articulated trucks
with a big scoop on the front.
And then the second, the follow-up, was making fun of what a load of rubbish that first advert was.
Nice!
I will link both adverts in the showblog.
Honourable mentions.
Do you remember the Sony Bravia advert,
where brightly coloured walls bounced down the street to San Francisco?
You might have seen it before films in the cinema.
Yes, I have actually. Yes, I do recall that.
In 2006, Tango did a parody for the very, very short-lived Tango Clear.
I don't remember it.
Is that the same generation as Tab Clear?
2006, so yeah.
Oh, no.
They threw literally a tonne of fruit down the steep street in Swansea.
Oh, really?
Cambridge Street in the Uplands.
We have to go there for research.
Not the one from Twin Town?
No.
They had oranges, watermelons smashing into cars through windows,
and they liked to make it a lot more violent.
That's amazing! I didn't know that.
They also made a fake community group website,
Swansea North Residents Association,
complaining about the damage caused and the mess left behind.
I'll put a link to the Wayback Machine on the showblog as well.
Amazing.
But yeah, I think, guessing 2006, this is from, so that's why it's dusty AF.
How much did you pay for it, do you remember?
Absolutely free.
Oh, was it like a freebie where you bought like a pack of cans?
No, I think there was a few seconds or just blink and you miss it,
a phone number just a bit more than subliminally, I think.
It just appeared on the screen.
Your well-practiced pause button finger got you the phone number, did it?
Although stretched VHSs.
And the 10-minute free view on the Adulsion X.
Adult channel.
Lovely. Thank you for horning me two episodes in a row.
And we are back playing the serialised version of The Crystal Dome.
Crystal Maze?
Crystal Dome.
That again then.
And we are back with our serialised Crystal Maze.
I keep getting to say Crystal Dome there.
Out takes gold.
Crystal Maze.
No, it's Crystal Dome.
Shut up.
You still don't know.
Is it The Maze Dome?
Maze Dome.
Welcome back to episode three of Richard O'Brien's Big Crystal Ball.
So many times.
So is Karen O'Brien.
Let me speak to your manager.
Yes, welcome back to part three of The Crystal Maze.
We are moving on to zone two and it is Jackson's turn to pick.
Right, because purple is my favourite colour.
We're going to go to industrial.
Excellent. Which game would you like? Mystery, skill, physical?
Oh, I can pick a game as well.
Let's go for what haven't I done yet.
Physical.
Have I got any of those?
Let's go with the skill game.
Right, I'll borrow that card.
I'll flip through to the purple section in the book.
Karen's acting as a maze master.
Yes, I am.
The M.M.
Maze Mistress.
Maybe.
Skill games.
Right.
Arrange the tiles to spell five times seven letter words.
What you will need.
Industrial skill game base, which is this thing here.
One set of industrial skill game word tiles, which are down there next to me.
One long piece and ten smaller ones.
Oh, right, that's the set.
Oh my fucking god, I'm going to start again.
All the tiles from the industrial bag.
Yes, all of the tiles from the industrial bag.
The timer and a crystal.
Preparation.
Place the game base in front of the player.
Place the long word tile vertically down the left hand side of the base as shown.
Place the smaller word tiles along the edge of the base.
Pick up the industrial skill game card from the board and place it in front of the player so they can see the game instructions.
Start the timer.
The player has to arrange the word tiles to spell all five of the seven letter words.
The long vertical piece stays in place while the ten smaller pieces can be moved around until all the words have been correctly spelled.
OK, amazing.
There are a few solutions.
Can I take photos of those one games?
Yeah, you can.
Photograph of the solution will be on the blog page for this episode.
Thank you very much.
There we go.
There are your.
Used to the UK.
There are ten shorter tiles.
You are very welcome.
Here is your instruction card.
Thank you.
Would you like to read it out for the audience?
The instructions are.
Arrange the tiles to spell five seven letter words.
Take that as you.
And you have two minutes starting from now.
Right.
OK, so I'm going to go.
Plastic as the first one.
What's got to be.
Why would those letters be together?
I'm liking the logic so far.
Something is an in.
Like an in.
We could be beating something.
We could be.
If we so wished.
And that leaves us with these.
I could go elastic there.
And.
That's not where is it?
No.
So you need to swap two tiles out from somewhere.
So beating.
About a minute left on the time.
I'm so rubbish at the time.
I'm too busy looking at what you're doing.
OK, last word to go.
Oh, this is congratulations.
You absolutely slammed that challenge.
And the words were plastic, leather, crystal, burning and elastic.
Well done.
Jackson.
It's on a.
Would you like a grand reveal?
Oh, my God.
And Jackson's won his first crystal.
Hey, that puts Adam and Jackson on an even keel.
Marvelous.
I'm going to read all of those letters.
And the text zone for now.
Adam, it is your turn to pick a game.
I'll have a mystery, please.
OK, put that there for a second.
Let's have a read of what the mystery game says.
Mystery game.
OK.
Place the cogs to win the crystal.
Each cog must be a single color.
The cog in the center must be orange.
What you will need the industrial mystery game base, eight industrial mystery card cog tiles, a timer and a crystal preparation.
Place the game base and eight puzzle pieces in front of the player.
I like how the boys are doing all of what I'm supposed to be doing while I'm reading the instructions.
This is great.
Pick up the game card, show it to the player so they can see the instructions and start the timer.
The player has to successfully complete the puzzle to win the crystal.
Each cog or partial cog on the puzzle must be a single color.
The cogs cannot be multicolored.
And there's an example there.
That is mad.
So there's blue to red there that needs to be red.
And that is good.
Red, red, red, green, green, green.
So I have to have the gold cog at the center.
Then all the surrounding cogs have to be made up of the same color puzzle pieces.
That is correct.
Right.
Oh, that's exactly what the card says.
Build the cogs to win the crystal.
Each cog must be a single color.
The cog in the center must be orange.
Orange, not gold.
OK.
Are you ready to start?
Photos will be up on the blog.
Yeah, I believe he's cheating again, folks.
OK.
Three, two, one, go.
Timer has started.
That's one piece on the board.
Maybe two pieces on the board.
No.
Four pieces on the board.
Five, six, seven.
Should I go on time?
Oh, the ages.
About a minute 15.
I fucked up somewhere.
Yeah, you have.
Several ways, probably.
Oh, yeah, sorry.
I was not touching the right colors at all.
About a minute left.
It's going to be gold.
That doesn't go there.
He started rotating the tiles in his hands now to see if he can get them to fit.
That one won't go there.
About 45 seconds.
Oh, dear.
That one won't go there.
Still going horribly wrong.
It started off so well.
You got cocky.
Yeah.
This is not an automatic lock-in.
About 20 seconds.
Has that been decided?
Yeah.
I have to be told before I go in.
15 seconds.
Just look on the back.
Maybe this is a cheat.
Oh, right.
Okay.
There we are.
I wasn't going to finish that.
Adam has thrown his toys out.
I don't even put all of the tiles on there.
I realize.
No.
Oh, and there's another note before that one.
It was literally the third tile that you put down that fucked you up completely.
I saw that immediately.
I was like, here we go.
I was like, there's no pad on there that has the gold bit to it.
I'm winning.
You picked all your tiles up.
You shouldn't have picked all your tiles up because you couldn't see them.
Oh, dear.
We have made it to Bibliotact.
And today, this episode, I nearly said this week then, this episode.
My trick.
This episode, it is my choice.
And I have brought a lovely little hardback comic book called Cyanide and Happiness.
I'm giving you the finger by Chris, Rob, Matt and Dave.
And this was from the Wales Air Ambulance shop in Swansea.
And it cost me £1.50.
And randomly, this was in like the cabinet of Super Duper Stuff that normally has the expensive things in.
Oh, that's where the the big breakfast mug was that had my eye on for other.
The overpriced big breakfast mug.
Yeah, the £10 big breakfast mug.
I still regret not getting that few for Christmas like two years ago.
I'd have to find tenner on it though.
Anyway, so this is a fun little A5-ish size book.
Hardback.
It says, warning, this book is illicit, insensitive, perverse, profane, dark, depraved, reprehensible and, well, just plain wrong.
Those of a sensitive disposition should put it back on the shelf and move over to the self-help section immediately.
It is an excellent web series.
Laugh along with millions of fans around the world at the hit webcomic Cyanide and Happiness, featuring 150 comics,
including 30 brand new strips, each packed with inappropriate jokes, irrelevant characters and deviant behaviour,
guaranteed to leave you laughing despite the gnawing guilt.
So go ahead, reveal in awkward silences, feel disturbed by the proximity of personal space invaders
or join seizure man on his next adventure.
You won't go to hell for it, probably.
Laugh
And then there's a little asterisk and it says,
the publishers and authors will not be held responsible if you do, in fact, go to hell, purgatory or any of the afterlife, not of your choosing.
And the original sale price of this book was £10.
Good disclaimer.
Yeah, it is.
So inside the hardcover in the first page is just a cot, it's just all of their little characters just splurged all over the place.
And I haven't picked any out in particular because I've been super lazy this week.
But let's go with one this one.
What's in the briefcase?
So there's two little guys, guy in the yellow top, guy in the red top with a briefcase.
Guy in the yellow top says...
It's a very visual comic.
What's in the briefcase? Guy in the red top says, a smaller briefcase and then a smaller one inside that one.
Guy in the yellow top, haha, what's inside the smallest one? Guy in the red top, child porn.
OK, that was kind of the wrong one to select maybe as an example.
Yeah, awesome start.
OK, so Lady with red hair and Chef man.
Lady with red hair says, Oh, you've got some meat for your barbecue after all. Wonderful.
Chef lady with the red hair says, Anyway, I'm going now to buy Timmy a gift.
Maybe I'll stop him crying like he has done all afternoon.
Lady with the red hair, now that I mention it, where is Timmy?
Chef, you never heard of the phrase two birds one stone?
Oh my god.
I'm really, I apologize for my reading these out.
I'm not very good at reading things aloud, especially when I've not pre-read them.
The comic strip doesn't really lend itself to be read out to be fair either.
No, that's true.
Starting off the challenging medium.
Oh my god. Yeah, I want to read this one out, but it's a bit too visual.
So guy with a saw and a mustache, presumably a magician and guy in a green top.
Guy with the saw says, For my next act, I will need a volunteer from the audience.
Guy in the green top, oh, oh, pick me.
Magician guy, splendid. I will now saw the volunteer in half.
And then there's two pictures of him holding the volunteer, putting the saw through him.
And then the last image is the magician man holding up a bloody saw going, Presto, the saw is okay.
And then there's the guy in the green top is in two pieces on the floor going, amazing.
Yeah, it's very dark, but I love it.
I think it's really funny and stupid.
And I wasn't aware that it was an online comic and was really famous when I bought the book.
So yeah, I'm pretty chuffed with it. What do you think?
It's really, really good.
Not sure I would have brought it in for the Bibliothet audio segment of the podcast.
It's not as high brow as our usual.
No, no, just being a visual comic book.
Shut up.
Are you trying to say that my visualizations for people in words are insufficient?
I don't think it did the book justice.
No, you're probably right. It's a good book. I'm really sorry.
Yeah, Adam's correct.
Excellent book at Bogtime.
Yeah, yeah, good book at Bogtime.
£1.50, you got a bargain there.
Yeah, I think so. Sorry for the disappointment.
Sorry.
We're done now.
Hold it up really close to the microphone, we can see it.
Hold it closer.
Look at her.
Aww.
Thank you very much for listening once again.
We have made it to another outro.
Hooray!
Photos and links for everything we've talked about on the show today will be on the blog, lightlyused.co.uk.
We're part of the Studio Channel 84 network. Check out the Variety Show, Untitled Track Show, and Who Takes the Socks Off?
You'll find us all at channel84.co.uk.
And as of recording this, we've not yet all met up.
No.
But it was inevitably lovely.
Thank you for the very nice time.
To meet up with the rest of the Studio Channel 84 crew and our parasocial pod squad.
Yeah.
It was in advance awesome to meet you all.
Yeah, love you guys.
Unless this went horribly and we were awful people.
Yeah.
Say we, I.
Sorry in advance.
Yeah, in that case, apologies.
Sorry you met us.
No.
Don't say that.
Tom knows us.
Don't drag him into this.
He vouches us, it's his fault.
That's true.
Hello, I'm Adam.
And I'm Karen.
And we both like a weekend mooch around the charity shops to see what catches our collective eye and share some of it here with you.
We're going to be taking stuff off lately.
Well, how do we normally start this?
And I'm going to be clipping my hand on that.
I just think you like.
All right.
That was it.
This was a studio Channel 84 network show to find more head over to Channel 84.co.uk now.