INTRO: This is Lightly Used with Adam and Karen.
K; Da-da-da-da-da-daaaah! It's time for Lightly Used with your hosts Karen and Adam.
And this week I get to take over saying hello.
So you need to listen to me being stupid for a second.
But anyway, we are back. This is episode four,...I think?
We're still in single figures anyway.
And Adam's already laughing at me, so welcome to the show.
And hello Adam. How has your week been?
A: You know we've got the intro right? You've heard the show.
Yes, but hello.
Hi.
I'm alright thank you.
Good.
We do also need to start with corrections before we go on any further.
It's one of mine. I made another mistake. Sorry.
The school bus that we saw last episode, I said it was a Ford, it's a GMC.
I was putting the pictures and everything online for the blog.
...and looking at the front of it....hmmm...
Something's not right.... Yeah, I had to check.
Actually I think I've got a correction as well.
The Gannon pin mages.
I think we said they were Ghost Squad.
Oh yeah, Gannon's Ghost Squad.
I've slept on it since and I actually think they're Gannon's Spirit Squad pin badges.
We've got the alliteration the wrong way round.
Yeah, sorry about that.
Sorry. We should've researched that to be 100%!.
Well, I mean we should research anything that we're talking about... but I mean how much research do we REALLY do?
I... looked on Wikipedia a little bit, for my tat item today?
Oh - back to normal with that by the way, this episode.
Yes, back to standard surprise tat.
We don't know what tat we've brought in each and we don't know what .Bibliotat. we have at the end of the show.
It's your turn.
It is my pick this week and you are going to love it.
I've got to say thank you as well to fellow Studio:Channel 84 podcast, 'Who Takes the Socks Off?'
for inviting me on episode two of their minisode series 'Socks; On or Off'.
Huzzah! You've got a tough choice, but it was good to listen to. So yeah, go and listen to that.
Simon and Ross, excellent host. Thank you very, very much for having me.
The show is available now at channel84.co.uk.
Second thank you, before we start, to you.
To me?
To you for commissioning an awesome portrait of me by the talented Tony or @Vorratony on Twitter.
We will put a link and these portraits will definitely be in the show blog for this episode.
We're very, very proud of them.
Yeah, they're awesome.
Excellent. Thank you, Tony. It's fantastic.
Yeah, I've followed Tony for a while since listening to other podcasts.
And whilst he's not a podcaster himself, he's a brilliant, talented artist.
I love his work. The portraits are great and it was just the perfect excuse to get one because I've been feeling a bit sorry for myself recently
and I needed to do something to make me smile and that was the first thing on that day that made me smile.
So I was like, I'm doing that. So that's what I did.
Definitely go there if you're looking for a commission. Definitely recommend @vorratony on Twitter.
Photos of everything. Those will be on blog along with everything else we talk about on the show today.
Indeed.
So coming up, we've got the next instalment of reportage from the Abergavenny Chronicle's Tim Butters.
Yes.
Following the Johnny Turnip saga in 'Lightly Used News'.
My dad officially loves these stories, by the way.
Thank you, Dad-miral Chesters, and I hope you're recovering well.
He's doing all right.
Thank you for listening. We'll be finding out what tat we've brought to compare.
Mine is a Charity Shop find for this episode.
And you've brought the featured 'Bibliotat' book to end the show.
I have indeed and it's a beauty. [END OF SEGMENT]
A: Lightly Used News....
'The ramblings of Johnny Turnip -
Man warns we should all be very afraid of what lies beneath Abergavenny' by Tim Butters from the Abergavenny Chronicle on Monday, the 25th of March.
A local man who claims to have found the entrance to Abergavenny's secret network of tunnels has since returned from that underground labyrinth with a
fantastical story to tell.
Semi-professional long distance runner, Johnny Turnip, alongside his mates Big Tony and Puerto Rico Paul, accidentally stumbled across a gateway to the tunnels during their quest to trap and tame a fairy.
Turnip claims that after following a hedgehog he calls the Oracle of Spikes from the Swan Meadows to the castle, hoping it would lead them to a fairy lair, they discovered.
The entrance to the hidden realms of Abergavenny.
Turnip said, if you think sticking to the 20 mile-hour speed limit is hard, try following an hedgehog.
It's a slow and laboured process, particularly when you've no idea where it's leading you.
I don't know if you've spent a lot of time around hedgehogs, but they seem to have a massive attitude!
It kept stopping, sniffing the air, turning around, giving us the eyeball.
Prickly customers in every sense of the word.
To make matters worse, three grown men intently following a hedgehog single file through the town in the early hours is good attract attention, especially with Big Tony's history of badger baiting.
Tony, I thought you were a good guy.
You've let us all down.
K: I'm shocked.
It's a good job the police are either all keeping a stern eye on their Twitter feeds or loading up in Maccy D's, or we'd have been nicked for acting like dickheads!
That's something that happened a lot back in the day, I can tell you. Recalled Turnip affectionately.
Turnip explained that after about three torturous hours of walking like zombies in the hedgehog's trail, it led them to the entrance of the castle and then shocked them all by simply rolling on its back and dying.
K: Oh God.
I couldn't believe it, said Turnip. We followed that bloody thing for hours and had the cheek to die on us. Zero respect.
K: Jesus Christ!
Big Tony was fuming and went to kick it...but every living thing deserves respect, so I carefully put it inside a plastic bag and threw it in a nearby hedge.
K: Oh God.
Turnip added, now that the only lead to find a fairy who was as dead as a duck, we needed to use our heads and think on our feet.
Not soon after they began to argue over who was calling the shots, when Turnip claims he noticed a green light hovering over a patch of leaves inside the castle walls. It was another sign from my ancestors, claimed Turnip.
It was like a will o' the wisp beckoning us onwards. So we scaled the castle walls like we were teenagers again, but with bigger bellies and more mental health problems, and jumped down the other side to meet our destiny.
K: