This is Lightly Used with Adam and Karen.
Hello! Hi! We're back. Thanks for listening again.
Well, or for listening for the first time today if you didn't listen to the last one.
Weird place to start when there's just one introductory episode right there waiting for you, jumping into episode two.
But you do you. Who are we to judge? Absolutely.
Before we start though this week, I know this is only our second episode.
I have got some corrections. Oh god.
Again, if you're starting with this episode you don't really understand what we're correcting. So go back, we'll wait.
It's only an hour of your time, I promise it won't kill you.
We'll wait here.
So, um...
No, don't do it. Wait. Or shall we allow them to pause?
If you haven't listened to the first one. Yeah, alright.
Press pause, go back to episode one, then come back to here where you just paused.
And then press play. Yeah, so first episode at the gate.
And we've made mistakes in it already.
Are they predominantly mine?
No, mine. Mine.
First episode at the gate, I made mistakes.
I made mistakes.
I got Twitter wrong.
Yeah, that is kind of a basic thing.
Well, once on air and once off behind the scenes.
I started off, I spelled the name wrong.
I can't type on my phone. I need tactile feedback of keyboards.
A phone that's tapping glass. You just need an old man phone.
I need buttons.
Yeah, so I misspelled it. I realised very, very shortly before recording the podcast.
I'm ready to correct the Twitter handle.
And I gave even the wrong one out then on the show.
So it would have been wrong anyway. We are underscore likely used.
All one word. Same as Instagram.
Correction number two. Your Bokel goggles.
Yes. They don't have a nixie tube.
I'm going to put a link in the blog for this.
A few days after recording it, Technology Connections,
the knowledgeable geek in the Brownsfield case,
the awesome, awesome channel, Technology Connections,
he released a YouTube video about them.
It's an RCA Numer-tron.
He described them as the crudest possible way to produce a technically functional
seven segment display for digital devices.
Sounds about right for me.
He actually introduced them as they are terrible.
They're also rare and expensive, probably because they didn't sell very well at all,
because they're bad.
I might have to go and check eBay.
I might get my tech pan back just on nothing.
You've got a rare, interesting bit of tech just thrown in the box.
And now you know what it is.
Thank you very much. I appreciate that correction.
Thank you, Technology Connections.
Something we've been doing today, which we should have mentioned last week,
not really a correction, but just a drive memory,
Yellies Marble Runs.
Oh, I do love Yellies Marble Runs.
If you haven't seen it on YouTube, start looking.
I'll spell it there.
J-E-L-L-E-'s.
Yeah, brilliant.
I like a bit of sporting competition between you and your friends
that is more interesting than fantasy football
and doesn't actually cost you anything other than maybe your dignity.
Yeah, I highly recommend Yellies Marble Runs.
Adam has me completely addicted.
I found out about them last week tonight with John Oliver Sponsored,
a whole season of the events.
So my team is crazy cat's eyes.
And mine is absolutely correctly named for me.
Balls of Chaos.
You've introduced your friend Jackson to it as well.
He's got a team of his favorites.
Yeah, I think it's the Minty Maniacs, but if he hears this,
I'm sure he'll correct me and then we'll have a correction for episode three.
Also, we'll put a link in the description of the show to Yellies Marble Runs.
Yeah, I think if we can try and get the rest of ChamBab4 involved,
they can maybe pick their own favorite team as well.
We should have a fantasy Yeller league between us.
Yeah, we've called dibs and arses, so crazy cat's eyes is mine
and balls of chaos is Karen's.
You've got to pick your own teams.
Absolutely.
And if you want to join them, Discord, your favorite.
Oh, yeah, we do have a Discord.
I will share the link on the website.
Yeah, link to the website.
But yeah, maybe we can do a page on there for it,
if we want to get people involved in there.
Yeah, that would be really fun, actually.
They've started.
You can catch up in about an hour so far.
Yeah, there's only been four races.
Hang on, both of them have showed good ads.
Oh, there might have been eight.
You can catch up in maybe a weekend.
Yeah, definitely in an afternoon.
It's season seven of rallies.
It's a sand rally.
Yeah.
Conditions so far have been quite variable, from very, very sunny to quite wet.
This is true, but I also have to say balls of chaos aren't actually represented
in the rally, so I've had to pick a backup team.
So I've gone with Grasshopper.
This is allowed. We've decided this is allowed.
Depending on the events, if your favorite team isn't competing,
we're allowing you to pick a backup team.
Yes, it's only fair, because otherwise you wouldn't be involved,
and that would be dumb.
We've been attending some mooching as well today.
Yes, we've been to a couple of areas around Cardiff.
You did buy some stuff.
I did, yeah.
You got some shorts?
I did. I bought myself a pair of size 14 denim short shorts,
and the reason I sound so pleased about that is because I used to be a fat, fat bitch,
and now I'm a much less fat bitch.
So I'm quite pleased with myself about that.
Adam's giving me very funny looks like,
I'm your non-bitch!
Is it safe to say congratulations or...?
Congratulations on being less of a fat bitch.
I knew I shouldn't have said it in there.
I should have said you were a little worried.
It's OK. I'll take all the praise and all the glory,
and all the kudos and the gold stars.
Yes, very pleased with myself. Tra la la la la, yay me.
So yeah, a pair of denim short shorts for the summer,
although technically it's the middle of July,
so it really should be summer,
but we've definitely dodged some showers today.
I also found a tiny little
Hornsey Pottery mug of Mr. Pickwick,
and his name rang a bell,
so I'm going to do some research on that
so that I know where it's from,
because my brain is telling me that I should know.
And the last thing that I bought was
what looked like on the shelf, like a glass love egg.
Genuinely thought it was a sex toy,
so I had to go up and just check,
because the number of times people post butt plugs
that have been put on the shelves are charity shots.
It's just ridiculous.
So I had to go and check.
I had to, and curiosity got the better of me.
But it turns out it's actually a really cool
handmade piece of glass that has faces,
so it's like an egg, but imagine it upside down,
so the narrower end is at the bottom,
and the wider end is at the top,
and it's a head.
And as you turn it, the face changes on it,
so it gives you different emotions.
And me and the lady were talking about it in the shop,
because she didn't know what it was.
She thought it was like a mouse or something,
and she'd spent ages looking at it
before she put it on the shelf.
And I said, oh no, it's a face,
so we had a little conversation about that,
and we laughed and ha ha ha.
And then I gave her £5 for it
and walked out the shop beautifully.
I was thinking of Hexabessimo from the TV series Reboot.
The baddie, she's got the face,
with different faces.
Yes, very much like that,
but less scary and way more tactile.
Lucky to hold.
Right, before we get into our featured tet,
I forgot, I got you a present.
Ooh, did you?
Oh my god.
There you go.
You're not going to like it.
Oh no.
Oh, I've just had a weird kind of jerk reaction to that.
I actually feel physical.
Physical to sh...
I'm not even putting this on.
This is like borderline panic attack.
Are you even looking at it?
Oh my god, I know exactly what that is.
You bastard.
I'm actually crying.
Oh my god.
Why did you put Mr Blobby in my hands?
I didn't think any of this was going to happen.
I didn't either.
I thought you might go,
oh, you twerp, now I'm going to take you to a charity shop.
Get rid of it.
That motherfucker has probably bought it.
shop
genuinely surprised.
I didn't know.
I'm so sorry, Lister.
I'm so sorry.
Do we need to stop for a minute?
Despite our recovery,
we've been hit.
So I'll take you back then, yeah.
I'm serious, I'm burning it.
I'm burning it in a ritual down the beach.
for the weekend.
Oh my god.
That would be something to finally put on my YouTube channel.
I think I finally found something I'm more scared of than clowns.
And I didn't even know it was a fear.
I'm genuinely sorry, I was not expecting that at all.
Holy shit.
What the fuck happened there?
I don't know.
What the fuck happened there?
You okay?
Yeah, no, I'm fine.
God.
That's not how I expected this portion of the show to go at all, Lister.
Crikey.
When you said you got me a present, I was like, oh, I've been a good girl.
I'm going to get something nice.
Yeah, that was not a treat.
That's when I said there was a non-zero chance it was going back.
Yeah, but I thought that was maybe because it was something that I would find uniquely humorous.
Oh, no, because it's shit.
Not uniquely terrifying.
Obviously, that was like being in the upside down and I'm in a panic attack at the same time.
This is why I don't get people presents.
We've had a little break, Lister, but for you, no time has passed at all.
Yeah, sorry about that.
My voice might sound a bit different now.
Attempt two, something before our main tatite.
This is probably been doing the rounds on the internet.
It's from the Abbey of any Chronicle, Saturday, the 9th of March, 2024.
7.54 PM.
Okay, is the time relevant?
No, not at all.
Thank you.
I'm going to go and get a present.
Valorまで in fully Das Auge
Best by Tim Butters, close encounters of exceeds returner climaxes.
Best by Tim Butters, close encounters of returns.
Tim butters, close encounters of returns.
Oh god
I apologize in advance, I've never been good at reading anything out.
I've never been good at reading anything out.
Just distinguish between what's quoted and what's the article
It'll be sketchy all the way through.
Just pretty boring.
An epic of any man who headуd to
an epic of any man who headуd to
A prosecution of an epic of any man who headуd to
A prosecution of an epic of any man who headed
A prosecution of an epic of any man who headed to
he did make contact with an alien life form.
I love that they've used the term swears down.
That is such a Welshism.
That is such a Welsh, I love it.
I swear down.
It means that they really promise,
really, really hard,
as hard as they can promise anything
that they're telling the truth.
Semi-professional long distance runner
Johnny Turnip told The Chronicle
that he headed up the Glen Avon Road
with his trusty Nikon F camera.
Take a few snaps of the otherworldly phenomenon
for a local Facebook community group page.
Yet upon arrival, he realised
not only had he got the date wrong,
but the two friends he'd arranged to meet there
were, quote, spitting feathers
because they thought Turnip had invited them
to an all-night rave
as opposed to a heavenly night show.
Victoria and Puerto Rico Paul
were frothing at their mouth with rage
when they realised just how wrong they'd got things,
recalled Turnip fondly.
Bloody idiots didn't know what the Northern Lights were,
thought it was a bunch of old school DJs from Manchester
putting on an event like it was 1989 all over again.
To make matters worse,
they turned out like a white couple of kippers.
White gloves, whistles, bucket hats,
dungarees, tie-dye T-shirts, you name it.
These couple of tarts were taking
every acid house cliche in the book.
It's not healthy for men in their early 50s
to be acting like that.
Still, it was good to see those two
and speak in terms again.
Things turned sour between them
after an incident in the Guardsmen
in the early 90s over a baby shamans
and questionable start-over choices.
A baby sham!
Nineties.
They finally buried the hatchet
thanks to their shared love of dance music
and straw lights.
Oh, my Lord.
Turnip told the Chronicle that
after laughing at their collective idiocy
and reminiscing about the good old days
over a flag and a white lightning,
the three friends decided to walk from the keepers
to the top of the Blorange and light a fire.
You can't beat a good fire on a cold night,
topple mounting, explained Turnip.
Big Tony was mourning we didn't have any tyres to burn
because he likes the smell and they last a long time.
He soon chewed up when I told him
I've got a few cans of deodorant in my rucksack.
We can blow them up if we get bored.
Anyhow, we got to the top
and all the fadda was laid out below us,
all lit up like a toy tent.
It was well depressing.
We started the whisky and the mood soon picked up,
especially when Puerto Rico Paul
started to blast out the prodigies
no good start the dance in his portable ghetto blaster.
This is so well.
I'm doing my best.
Well, so your accent is great,
but these boys with these blokes on the story
is so foul, you boys did so well.
They love it.
Definitely real.
They love it.
We were soon guzzling whisky like those energy drinks
the youngsters are addicted to,
screaming like lunatics and dancing around the fire
like three well-dressed warlocks.
We must have looked at the right state.
It was only then that we noticed the extraterrestrial.
Turnip revealed they noticed a bald-headed stranger
sitting cross-legged on the edge of the mountain,
gazing intently up at the stars.
It was Big Tony who noticed him first, explained Turnip.
He stopped dancing and snarled,
who's a dickhead?
Tony can be like that, he's got a good heart.
Never start a fight.
But having said that, he'll never walk away from one either.
Personally, I knew straight away it was an alien.
I could tell by its posture and its sense of otherness.
I've always had a good read off that sort of thing.
As we approached the thing from the skies,
Puerto Rico Paul was particularly cautious
because he claims he was once abducted by aliens
and subject to all sorts of experiments.
But to me that just sounds like wishful thinking.
Anyhow, as we got closer,
it was making this weird sort of om-noise
and its eyes firmly fixed on the settlement.
It seemed completely indifferent to our presence.
And even when Big Tony shouted,
where are you from alien? Kent, is it?
The shiny-headed creature just kept making this unsettling om-noise.
We held hands, surrounded it in a circle,
and Big Tony asked in a slight age of hysteria in his voice,
from what distant galaxy have you traveled, space thing?
Yet still, it ignored us like we were nothing more
than mentally challenged savages.
Turnip explained to suddenly notice
the intergalactic visitor was sitting in a circle of toadstools.
And Puerto Rico Paul screamed,
It's no alien, it's Twilith Teig.
Run before they kidnap us, marry band of brothers
and force us into a life of servitude in the fairy realms.
Turnip told the Chronicle,
we hot-heeled it off the mountain
like we were being chased like Benny Hill himself.
Big Tony tripped on his flares a few times,
but we made it back to the Keeper's car park in one piece.
We were all taught by Puerto Rico Paul's mother,
who was known as the Witch of Tudor Street,
not to mess with the fairies or the Twilith Teig, as she called them.
She always said, if you ever come across a little folk, keep your distance.
I always thought she had some sort of weird phobia of dwarves,
but now I've actually met a fairy I know better.
Turnip added, it was a stranger and settling experience.
I never expected to bump into one in the blood orange,
but life's strange like that.
Go for the lights, stay for the fairies.
Since his encounter with one of the little people,
Turnip insists he's been brushing up on fairy lore
and believes if he captures one of the Twilith Teig,
it'll grant him a wish.
Good luck.
Turnip said, in hindsight, we were a bit rash to flee the scene.
It's sort of every day you come across a mythical creature
who can grant wishes.
If I can trap and tame a fairy, the world will be my oyster.
With one wish.
This is part of an ongoing saga of Johnny Turnip, Puerto Rico Paul and Big Tony.
Yeah, pretty sure Tim Butters of the Abbey of Anycorn
will just be given absolutely free reign.
So they're not, he's not created these characters, this is genuine people.
That's not for me to say.
Right, okay.
Okay, fair enough.
Either way, it's the most Welsh-ish Welsh,
of Welshness I've heard in a while.
You can't just put anything in the paper.
Right then, it's that time of the show where we show each other our tact of choice.
Finally get around to it this week.
After about 30 minutes of waffle.
Take us a while.
So because Adam did the new story last, I'm going to go first.
I'm not going to talk very long about mine.
So he's got his eyes closed and his hands open because he's a good boy.
These are now the rules apparently.
I never said you had to.
Okay, in your hands is the item.
You've told me to last week.
Yeah, you can open them immediately if you want to,
but I'd be interested to see if you recall what this might be.
Oh, it's fabric.
That's the start, so I'd realize I'm being recorded.
I'm fondling the fiber of your fabric.
Lovely.
It's folded a few times.
Is it a scarf?
No, it is not a scarf.
Oh, it's a jumper of some kind.
It is a jumper.
All right.
Oh, was this one of the things from the flamingo shop that we got?
No.
Well, we had a 10 pound bundle of clothes.
No, would you like a clue?
It included a hoodie or a t-shirt and none of them.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
None of them was ready.
Wolf t-shirts and university jumpers.
It's got a printed design.
I can feel that.
Yes.
I've got no idea.
If I turn it the right way, I'd see if I can guess from feeling the right way.
I'll be really impressed if you can.
I would be too.
So I will give you a clue.
This is not something that I have purchased.
This is something that I have had for a long time.
Okay.
And I have shown it to you, but only on occasion.
Right.
So that's two clues, really.
Is it from Shambhala?
No.
Ah, one more guess.
Now I have to.
All right.
Open your eyes then.
Oh, yes.
Awesome.
It's your Ghostbusters 2, who you're going to call actual jumper for being a child.
Yes.
So I got this beautiful jumper when I was probably nine or 10 years old.
It is a Ghostbusters 2 promotional piece that I cannot find anywhere on the internet.
It's not being sold on eBay.
Even the reproductions don't have who you're going to call on there.
There are no originals that I can find.
At the bottom of the print, it says,
Circa 1989, Columbia Pictures, 1989, Columbia Pictures Industries, Inc.
All rights reserved.
But yeah, 1989, you've kept this.
Yeah, I've had this since I was a youngster.
Before I saw the small print, I was trying to see what the information on the label was.
It's well, well washed.
The label is absolutely blank.
It was a well worn and much loved jumper, which is probably why it survived.
It's got the sort of ectoplasmy effect around the no ghost.
Yeah.
I've never seen that design before.
I love it.
It's a genuine product design.
The jumper has been with me since I was a wee child.
I grew up initially in Milton Keynes.
That's Milton Keynes when I get my words out properly.
And in Milton Keynes in 1985, they built the Point Cinema,
which I forgot was called the Point.
I thought it was the pyramid, but because it looks like a pyramid.
I wonder why.
Yeah.
Nothing to do with the Illuminati or anything like that.
It's just one of those architectural beauties that was created during the time.
It just happens to be in there.
And the Point Cinema, when it first opened, was owned by AMC, American Movies.
American Movies, something I can't remember.
I didn't get it off the top of my head and I haven't written any notes this week.
I wanted to see if I could recall things and say things about the item better without having to read
because I'm not great at reading and speaking aloud.
It's not my best thing.
In 1989, the cinema was taken over by UCI and UCI in Milton Keynes
had a children's club that ran every Saturday morning, I think.
And me and my sister Ruth, we both had passes.
They were laminated cardboard with our name and our customer number, I suppose.
So you know it's official.
Yeah.
So you know it's official.
Not anyone in Manitoba becomes.
Exactly.
And it was really special and it was great.
And what it meant for Mum and Dad was, is if they needed to go into Milton Keynes City Centre
to go and do shopping, they could go into the CCS Centre, drop us off at the Pyramid Cinema.
Where are you shooting the movie this evening?
For about a pound or something like that.
We'd be entertained for a couple of hours.
Mum and Dad would go off and do what they needed to do
and then they'd come back and pick us up and we'd all go home.
So we'd had a nice day.
They'd had a quiet day shopping.
Happy for everybody.
Everyone's a winner.
And every now and then with the kids club, if you went to one of their premier shows,
they would do giveaways.
And at the end of the movie, someone would come and stand at the front of the screen
at the very bottom of, you know, by the bottom row and they would fling things into the audience.
And if you were lucky enough to catch something, you got to keep it.
And this jumper is one of those items and I have never seen another one.
Wow.
And I actually tried it on yesterday and I can get it off.
And it's for a seven year old.
That's excellent.
So, you know, winner.
So yeah, I love it.
That's my item.
Oh, is that going to be our picture of the item this week?
Oh, no, you won't.
You won't need to see it stretched over my fine figure.
No, that's not necessary for anybody.
But there will be photos.
Well, I think you've won this week.
Oh, really?
Yeah.
Right.
I did tell you I was going to bring you big guns.
Right then.
You're right.
And my hands out, flat and together, eyes are closed.
That's a funny one.
Have you got wheels?
Oh dear, I'm a bit smaller than that.
Hands this a little bit further apart.
There we go.
It's large.
It feels like polystyrene.
Is it something in polystyrene?
Yes.
Rather than the thing being made of polystyrene.
OK, so.
It's a teddy box.
Is this your battery car thing?
Yes.
It is, is it?
Awesome.
Computer car.
£8 from the YMCA.
Yeah, that fell out.
All right, one of the little auto route things.
This is a really cool item and I was really impressed when you bought it.
I was quite surprised that you spent £8 on something, especially untested.
But it's got a lovely box that is a bit deteriorated,
but it's still got lots of colour on it.
It felt important.
That's why I thought.
Oh.
Yeah.
There's four lovely orange and white plastic traffic cones.
There's one, two, three, four, five computer car cards,
some instructions and a very sexy white car.
It's based on the Ford GT40.
OK, I'll have to take the word for that.
So Richard the prototype was built in Britain.
Oh, oh, and there is a sticker in here.
I think it's a RECO FESTA number.
It says what it says Ford one.
So that might have been on it at some point.
Yeah, these were made in Japan by METOI.
They were a company that disassembled them in the UK
and the license from Hasbro.
In the US, they were called Amazomatic instead of computer car.
I think the computer car came in two versions.
There's one we got the white Ford GT40
and also a red Chevrolet AstraVet concept car.
Oh, that's on the box.
Oh, yeah, yeah, based on the concept for the corporate.
Very happy looking young man with a Beatles haircut
and a dad looking lovingly over his shoulder.
Nice wearing a turtleneck sweater.
70s family.
They look like they've had their teeth done.
There are about four different ones, though, for the Amazomatics.
It's a battery operated toy car.
You feed it a program card into the underside of the car
and strip a card with notches cut into it essentially.
And depending how deep you cut the card,
it makes it go forward, backwards, left and right.
Oh, I see.
Each guy to sort of spring retain levers
that they ride on the edges of the car as it goes through.
And depending on as it's pushing in,
that essentially in a vertical programs it.
I've never got mine to work entirely properly.
Did you get it to go backwards?
It just made a torched mechanical screeching noise.
And yeah, it sounds poorly.
Everything only did go in the one direction.
Otherwise, it would have come with six pre-programmed cards
for the count 13 blank ones.
You could cut your own and set instructions for the car to follow.
Have they any of the black ones by the looks of it?
No, I think they will be useful.
People have experimented with their own tracks.
Originally, you would have got a set of six little plastic cones
for them to drive around.
I've got lots of the info for this from Fabatin Toys,
the Brighton Toy Museum and also Octavius King did a video in 2019.
No way. Wow.
Yeah. But there is also a Welsh connection,
which these videos help me find.
Oh, jogging memory because I didn't do any research in the video.
So, I'm a wiki.
More for me.
Good old Wikipedia.
Mettoys British company started in Northampton in 1934 by Philip Gorman.
After World War Two, they moved to a huge factory in Forest Park.
Oh, just down the road.
Yeah. And in 1936, to take on Dinky Toys,
Mettoys started making realistic toy cars under the Corgi brand
as a mod to be made in Wales.
And they also wanted to get some royal approval
and thought it might carry a bit of favor with the Queen,
calling it maybe after her favorite dogs.
No, no, I was going to move it, but it's fine.
I don't know.
In 1966, they received the Queen's Award to industry
and Hot Wheels came over for American late 60s
and absolutely ate their lunch.
And there was a devastating factory fire in 1969.
Their founder, Philip Ullman, died in 1971.
They closed a factory in Northampton, 70s and the 80s.
So, further financial losses for the company.
Brands were down, but the company was still in business.
So, they were able to make a lot of money
and they were able to make a lot of money
and they were able to make a lot of money.
So, they were able to make a lot of money.
And then in 1982, Mettoys launched
the very short-lived Dragon Data,
making the Dragon 32 and Dragon 64 computers.
That company then went into receivership in 1984.
What a shame.
Corgi then had a management buyout in 1984 as well,
including the Swansea factory.
They closed the factory in 1991, moving production to Leicester.
That's three of the four factory buildings
are still on the forest of our industrial estate.
Should we go and visit one day?
I think we should.
After trying to make it a weekday or a Saturday.
I bet the cardboard box factory is one of them.
It's one of the huge buildings on...
The oldest is on...
Queensway?
Yeah, White City Road behind American Gulf.
It's the oldest building.
Right.
Second is the huge building on Queensway,
now called Henley House.
The third oldest building was torn down
and the newest, as far as I can see from Street View.
From the gates outside, there's Western Carbon
and a surfboard repair company using that bit of the unit.
So the signs are from about 2022,
but also they'll say burgers and fries might be down there.
Oh, sweet.
We'll get some food.
Yeah, lovely.
But yeah, thanks very much to World of Dragon
and forest of our history.com.
Thank you very much.
But yeah, definitely this week, you win.
Hens down.
Yay!
You know the condition Ghostbusters 2 Jumper
and preserved.
Excellent.
Yeah.
Easy winner.
The print on it is still in excellent condition.
The only thing that is suffered is the label on the back collar.
That's it.
It's great.
I love it.
Thank you.
I win.
Yay, baby!
It still fits.
Yeah.
I can't believe that happened.
Probably shouldn't fit and I'm never going to wear it,
but I love it.
Previously on Nessie Hunt, Karen's rolled pretty much bugger all.
I've got two sonas on the go, freebie from some very, very wealthy man with a yacht.
And I've managed to bag myself a nice research grant from Hiddebaba,
the Highlands and Islands Development Board research grant
for all the equipment I don't happen to have at the moment.
But it's my round.
I'm yet to deploy or buy anything.
Yes.
And I am the strange man walking around the edge of the lock just with a pair of binoculars
because he doesn't own any equipment yet to do anything useful with.
Oh, hang on.
We're getting our new round money.
New round money.
150.
It's the start of the round, so you can buy equipment if you wish.
I'm still renting this two sonas.
Oh, yeah.
Can I get 30?
Oh, hang on.
10 minutes start.
Can I get 30 pounds back, please?
No, you cannot.
Yes, you can.
30 well-earned refunded pounds.
I'm not going to buy any more equipment just yet.
OK.
I'm going to see how well these sonas do.
Six.
One, two, three, four, five, six.
Nothing.
Hooray!
Your round.
Finally.
Right.
OK.
Me.
Three.
One, two, three.
Woo-hoo!
6F.
That means I get a logistics card because there's an asterisk on it.
Finally.
Something.
Computer enhancement is a process developed by NASA to improve the clarity of deep space
pictures.
It is a useful tool but may not always produce the results you may be expecting.
Retain this card until you wish to use it.
Pay 50 pounds to the sponsor, which is the bank, and give him...
Yes, it may know about money.
Yes.
Give said sponsor any surface camera evidence card, underwater camera evidence card that you
have prepared to risk.
Oh, no, that you are prepared to risk.
Sorry, I can't read out loud very well.
Throw the dice.
One or two, you lose your evidence card.
It was a log.
Three or four, you keep your card.
There was no improvement.
Five, the enhancement worked.
Keep your card and take another of the same type.
What card?
Oh, evidence.
OK.
And six, the enhancement was great value.
Keep your card and take two more of the same type.
Sponsor, adjust tally sheet.
OK.
Well, I don't own any equipment or anything like that at the moment, so I will keep this
card to one side until I wish to use it.
OK.
Over to me.
Over to you and the 150 pounds for surviving another round.
Thank you.
You're welcome, sir.
I've still got those two sonars out.
Oh, yeah.
Give me 120.
There's 120 back to me.
Back to the bank.
And that is going on the bottom of the bankers pile.
And I'm still not going to buy any equipment with my grant yet.
OK.
Are you hoping just for like to spot Nessie from a plane or something?
I'm hoping for some eyewitnesses or seeing what these sonars turn up.
Oh, yeah.
Good point, actually.
Maybe I should move them next.
Oh, they haven't done anything so far.
No, that's true.
Right.
Five, one, two, three, four, five.
Two B with an asterisk, which is the logistics card say.
As a result of a local radio interview, you gain some members who feel sorry for your
financial predicament.
If anybody feels sorry for me for my financial predicament in real life,
please feel free to step forward and donate anything you like.
If you have over 200 pounds in cash, pass this card to the player on your left.
If all players have over 200 pounds, this card must be returned to the pack.
If you have 200 pounds or less, you receive donations of 100 pounds plus 20 pounds for
each evidence card you hold.
Both have over 200 pounds and there are no evidence cards.
So that is going to the bottom of the pile.
Fucking useless game.
The public have been rubbish so far.
They really have.
Right.
On you.
Yep.
I'm just going to roll.
Oh, hang on.
Money's.
Oh, carry on rolling.
I'll just divvy up the dollars.
Just give me the money minus the.
Oh, so you just want 30.
Yeah, I'm keeping the so-and-so's out.
Okay.
Two.
One, two.
Oh, I get a logistics card.
Oh, fancy.
The official Loch Ness Monster Exhibition that's.
How do you pronounce it?
I read this far too quickly.
Drum the drocht.
Drum the drocht shit.
The official Loch Ness Monster Exhibition wishes to explain some of your material.
At drum the nocht.
Collect.
Collect 50 pounds plus 10 pounds for each evidence card you hold.
Oh, there's a shame you haven't got any.
How do we get evidence cards?
I don't know.
Right.
See what happens.
We're probably playing this entirely wrong.
I think we have to get around the board.
So if the British or Japanese tokens land on their starting squares,
there is no monster seen during that round.
Okay.
Position head and neck token.
That's that phallic looking fella.
Count for left and right.
And four up and down.
Position underwater monster tokens.
Where?
But count up and down left and right from where?
It says use only as a guide.
Okay.
Right, I guess when the first of us to get round, we'll just randomly plop that on the board.
Oh, okay.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
We'll close your eyes and just...
As long as there's four hexagons either side of it.
Yeah.
It's fine.
Okay, cool.
Right.
My turn?
Yeah, yeah, because I had to put that card back.
Three.
Uno, dos, tres.
I got an asterisk.
Let's see what logistics have to say.
Oh, I got another wordy card.
Neither of us are far from a home square.
Oh, no.
I've got an inappropriate...
I've got a Trump card.
It is suggested that you keep this card until its purpose becomes clear through playing the game.
Oh, yay.
Also, it will be of greater value when most of your equipment is deployed.
You can use this card to change the capital letter to that of your choice.
Present it and state the letter of your choice immediately before the first player throws their dice in stage one.
I guess it's when you've got stuff out in the hexagons.
You can choose your location for something.
Okay.
I don't know.
Okay, fine.
Whatever.
Carry on.
Your turn.
I thought when you said Trump card, you were going to say it doesn't like the Loch Ness Monster spoiling a view from the golf course.
No, no.
It doesn't like the Loch Ness Monster spoiling a view from the golf course.
That's why it doesn't like wind turbines.
Three.
One, two...
Oh, I get a logistics card too.
While the field leader of your expedition is away, your entire crew leave their posts to watch a UFO.
Miss one turn, why do you explain that it was Colonel Blatchford Snell of Operation Raleigh trying out a hot air balloon?
If you have less than 200 in cash, he gives you a £100 donation.
Oh, I've got...
Hang on.
I've got a bit to over.
Yeah, you've got more than two.
Bloody Colonel flying over in his hot air balloon.
How dare he?
They're looking in the wrong way for the Loch Ness Monster.
It's not up in the fucking sky.
No.
What the hell is my team like?
An identified flying monster.
So just 30 for me.
Okey dokey.
Again, just 30 for Adam because he's got three sonars and I've got a pair of binoculars and an old man walking stick.
I do get to miss a go.
Can I give you 50 and will you give me 20 because I think I'm running out of tens.
Yeah.
Thank you.
Nice doing business with you.
Pleasure, pleasure.
What'll be on the timer?
One minute.
Quick, right.
Two rolls.
Three.
One, two, three, nothing.
You, quick.
I miss a go.
Oh, I didn't get it.
Oh, fuck.
Two, one.
I made it to my square.
What do we do?
Is that the end of the first round?
Is that the end of phase one, stage one?
Yeah, you get to drop the...
Oh, the head or the underwater one?
The phallic one.
I get to drop the penis on the board.
Just close your eyes and drop it somewhere.
One, two, no, it's got to go across one.
There we are.
He's there.
I have placed him on the board.
We have a messy on the board.
Don't know what any of us can do with that yet.
I guess we'll find out shortly.
Three.
One, two, three, and that's an absolute whole heap of nothing for me.
Ten seconds.
Oh, I knocked him.
I knocked over the messy.
Five.
One, two, three, four, five.
I've got an asterisk.
Quick, super fast reading.
Ernest and Whitney, balls, chartered accountants, assist you and raise sponsorship from the
venture capitalists.
Collect an interim payment of £100.
Woo, thank you.
I'll do that.
I'll happily take that.
I think we have about two rounds worth of money each as well.
Oh, no, I gave you money on the...
Or did I?
No.
One, two, three.
There's your three.
All right, we'll cash it and we'll be back in the next episode.
And that's the final segment of the show, Bibliotet.
Arthur at Channel 84 said something about a grant if we include a book, so I said yes.
Have you figured out the terms and conditions yet?
Not seen any money yet.
Okay.
Well, for the sake of the 50 pence I spent on what I'm about to reveal, I don't think
we need to worry too much about grant money.
Are you ready to learn some really important wisdom?
Yes.
Huge question mark on a raise.
And now I present to you, Cockett RuPaul Wisdom.
What he quotes and wise words from a drag superstar.
Which of...
Did we see this in the guy?
Oh, looking at the label, I would say that's probably the Red Cross.
Yeah, I think you're right.
It doesn't actually say, but when you go to as many charity shops as we do,
you learn what the labels look like.
We're a little bit sad to know about that.
It looks red across your British foundation.
Yeah.
So I won't bore you with a lot of the details.
I went through this almost 100 page book and picked out some quotes that I thought
might be of interest.
Okay.
Now, I will say the first time I read through this, I thought RuPaul hasn't said any of this.
None of this says it's RuPaul, but it's just where these quotes were sourced from.
But it was RuPaul that had sent them.
So quote number one is from the drag section of the book.
I think there's five sections.
Drag queens are like the marines of the LGBT movement.
We suit up, we show up, and we're always ready to serve.
And that was from the Metro Weekly on the 7th of April, 2016.
Do you feel wisdom osmosed?
Not particularly, I'll be honest.
Okay.
We'll move on to quote two.
Sorry, Ru.
We'll move on to quote two.
It is from MovieLime, 1st of February, 2010.
Don't let people or society or your idea of yourself keep you from living the life and
enjoying all that life has to offer.
So live and enjoy life and just, yeah.
Yeah, that's good.
So yeah, yeah.
That's good.
So advice and the best one.
This is my favorite quote of the whole book.
And it's in the life section and it is literally me.
Use all the colors, touch all the toys and lick all the candy.
Do it all.
And that is from Vice on the 25th of August, 2016.
You have to buy all that candy after though.
Yeah.
Unless nobody sees me licking it.
I know that is gross.
Ignore the fact that I just said that.
So on the very last page, I guess this kind of act is sashay away from RuPaul's Drag Race,
season one, episode one on page 95 from the life section.
I will be honest, other than that catchphrase and who RuPaul is, that's all I'm aware of RuPaul.
I wasn't expecting me or RuPaul to change your life for you.
But do you feel like you've had knowledge imparted to you?
I've heard some stuff today.
Does this book fit very nicely into the tap section of Bibliotap?
Absolutely.
50p from the charity shop.
Yeah, can't go wrong really.
And you know, it looks cool on my tap shelf and I'm probably never going to read it again.
So yeah, there's Bibliotap for the week.
Well, we've all made it to the end of another episode.
Excellent.
Congratulations.
Well done, everybody.
And you can see photos of everything we've talked about today on the blog.
And we are part of the studio Channel 84 Network.
Check it out for the variety show, Untitled Trek Show,
and Who Takes the Socks Off at channel84.co.uk.
All amazing shows, all really funny guys, way funnier than we are.
Please give them your ears.
They're brilliant.
Adam and Karen have been lightly used.
Visit lightlyused.co.uk for more.
To get in touch, email pod at lightlyused.co.uk.
I go to his, uh, Winsor and Davies.
You're a really good boy.
I'm going to do a South Wales accent.
Right, over there.
Right.
For you.
What?
Are you doing that?
This was a studio Channel 84 Network show.
To find more, head over to channel84.co.uk now.