1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:02,000 Celebrating the power of possibility. 2 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:29,000 I'm Rhea Carmen and I believe anything is possible. 3 00:00:33,000 --> 00:00:38,000 I'm Halloran Hilton Hill and welcome to another episode of Anything is Possible. 4 00:00:38,000 --> 00:00:44,000 Great stories about great people whose lives prove that anything is possible. 5 00:00:44,000 --> 00:00:49,000 Rhea Carmen, also known as Rhea Sunshine in Studio with me. 6 00:00:49,000 --> 00:00:53,000 And I'm excited because we share one thing in common. 7 00:00:53,000 --> 00:00:54,000 What's that? 8 00:00:54,000 --> 00:00:55,000 We love words. 9 00:00:55,000 --> 00:00:56,000 We do. 10 00:00:56,000 --> 00:00:57,000 We love words. 11 00:00:57,000 --> 00:00:58,000 Yeah. 12 00:00:58,000 --> 00:00:59,000 We love poetry. 13 00:00:59,000 --> 00:01:00,000 Yes. 14 00:01:00,000 --> 00:01:03,000 We love what words do in, through, and for you. 15 00:01:03,000 --> 00:01:06,000 And so we get to celebrate that today. 16 00:01:06,000 --> 00:01:07,000 Yes, absolutely. 17 00:01:07,000 --> 00:01:11,000 We also get to celebrate the fact that as we are doing this today, this is your birthday. 18 00:01:11,000 --> 00:01:12,000 It is. 19 00:01:12,000 --> 00:01:13,000 So happy birthday. 20 00:01:13,000 --> 00:01:14,000 Yes. 21 00:01:14,000 --> 00:01:15,000 Thank you. 22 00:01:15,000 --> 00:01:17,000 And I understand it's your son's birthday as well. 23 00:01:17,000 --> 00:01:18,000 It is, yes. 24 00:01:18,000 --> 00:01:23,000 How cool is that that you and your son share the exact same birthday? 25 00:01:23,000 --> 00:01:25,000 He's the best birthday present I ever got. 26 00:01:25,000 --> 00:01:27,000 Tell me about it. 27 00:01:27,000 --> 00:01:32,000 He is, he'll be 13, well he's 13 years old today. 28 00:01:32,000 --> 00:01:38,000 He is an amazing musician, one of the sweetest people I know. 29 00:01:38,000 --> 00:01:42,000 And I never really wanted to be a mom. 30 00:01:42,000 --> 00:01:49,000 And then he came along and I say it all the time and in a point that we do together, it's 31 00:01:49,000 --> 00:01:52,000 the best job I've never applied for. 32 00:01:52,000 --> 00:01:56,000 And so he's teaching me a lot. 33 00:01:56,000 --> 00:02:04,000 He lives with autism and he teaches me how to celebrate life every day. 34 00:02:04,000 --> 00:02:08,000 And he's made me a better person. 35 00:02:08,000 --> 00:02:11,000 Why don't we start with one of your pieces? 36 00:02:11,000 --> 00:02:13,000 Oh, okay. 37 00:02:13,000 --> 00:02:20,000 I would love for you to share one of your pieces as we open this journey together. 38 00:02:20,000 --> 00:02:22,000 Okay. 39 00:02:22,000 --> 00:02:29,000 Quite frequently, I can be caught flying to the rings of Saturn, escaping from my classroom 40 00:02:29,000 --> 00:02:32,000 walls on a wing and a prayer. 41 00:02:32,000 --> 00:02:35,000 Because that's the only place that I'm free. 42 00:02:35,000 --> 00:02:39,000 To be the me that expresses words like nothing else matters. 43 00:02:39,000 --> 00:02:42,000 Not breath, nor beat, not drink, or meet. 44 00:02:42,000 --> 00:02:46,000 I'm a poet with no time to write poetry. 45 00:02:46,000 --> 00:02:50,000 Finding beauty in the crazy, I'm a wife, a mother, and a teacher. 46 00:02:50,000 --> 00:02:53,000 Sometimes life preacher for generations, sometimes clueless. 47 00:02:53,000 --> 00:02:57,000 Instead of opening my notebook, I unlock doors that lead to open minds. 48 00:02:57,000 --> 00:03:03,000 I have no time to sit and write because I'm trying to right wrongs on how we motivate and educate. 49 00:03:03,000 --> 00:03:06,000 I build household systems that mold young minds. 50 00:03:06,000 --> 00:03:09,000 I speak not knowing what will happen. 51 00:03:09,000 --> 00:03:15,000 I need more time to be who God created me to be so that now I became a thief. 52 00:03:15,000 --> 00:03:20,000 I started stealing early morning and late night sessions as if there would never be another chance. 53 00:03:20,000 --> 00:03:26,000 I laugh, I dance, but most of all, I speak like fire on my lips will cease to burn. 54 00:03:26,000 --> 00:03:28,000 Like my pen is running out of ink. 55 00:03:28,000 --> 00:03:34,000 I speak poetry in each testimony, and every now and then I steal a way to be free. 56 00:03:34,000 --> 00:03:38,000 A poet and a thief with no opportunity to change destiny. 57 00:03:38,000 --> 00:03:42,000 I shake the fear that I cannot change lives with the words that I write. 58 00:03:42,000 --> 00:03:45,000 And I speak like time ends after this. 59 00:03:45,000 --> 00:03:51,000 Like love stops existing and I'm pricking the ears of God like last chance for dreams to come true. 60 00:03:51,000 --> 00:03:54,000 I never thought like this. I never believed like this. 61 00:03:54,000 --> 00:04:01,000 I never knew like right now you can feel me urging you to be exactly what God created you to be 62 00:04:01,000 --> 00:04:09,000 because I will always be a wife, a mother, and a teacher that decided to be a poet 63 00:04:09,000 --> 00:04:13,000 and write these words to set the rest of the world free. 64 00:04:13,000 --> 00:04:17,000 That's what I was doing. 65 00:04:17,000 --> 00:04:19,000 Oh, that's powerful. That's beautiful. 66 00:04:19,000 --> 00:04:21,000 Thank you. Thank you. 67 00:04:21,000 --> 00:04:25,000 What is the origin of that piece right there? 68 00:04:25,000 --> 00:04:29,000 I was talking, we were celebrating the life of Alex Haley. 69 00:04:29,000 --> 00:04:30,000 Yes. 70 00:04:30,000 --> 00:04:39,000 And Alex Haley said that roots was a gift and a curse because the fame kept him from writing. 71 00:04:39,000 --> 00:04:40,000 Yeah. 72 00:04:40,000 --> 00:04:41,000 Right? 73 00:04:41,000 --> 00:04:42,000 Right? 74 00:04:42,000 --> 00:04:48,000 And when you talked about being a thief and having to steal time to do this thing you were born to do, 75 00:04:48,000 --> 00:04:50,000 when did you do that piece? 76 00:04:50,000 --> 00:04:53,000 Talk me through the process. 77 00:04:53,000 --> 00:04:57,000 I used to be a high school math teacher. 78 00:04:57,000 --> 00:05:05,000 So the educational system doesn't leave you a lot of time as a teacher for anything but to be a teacher. 79 00:05:05,000 --> 00:05:09,000 And then you have to still have your family and life. 80 00:05:09,000 --> 00:05:11,000 And I just wasn't finding time to write. 81 00:05:11,000 --> 00:05:19,000 And so one morning I woke up at 4.30 in the morning to steal time. 82 00:05:19,000 --> 00:05:21,000 And that's when that piece came out. 83 00:05:21,000 --> 00:05:28,000 And I was like, I do this because I want to change lives and I know that what I write will change lives. 84 00:05:28,000 --> 00:05:30,000 But I don't have time to do it. 85 00:05:30,000 --> 00:05:38,000 So I'm going to have to start stealing time so that I can have the time to affect my students 86 00:05:38,000 --> 00:05:42,000 and all the people that I know that I can touch with this gift. 87 00:05:42,000 --> 00:05:46,000 How do your students, how do people respond to the poetry? 88 00:05:46,000 --> 00:05:47,000 Because it's beautiful. 89 00:05:47,000 --> 00:05:48,000 It's lyrical. 90 00:05:48,000 --> 00:05:50,000 It's turbulent. 91 00:05:50,000 --> 00:05:51,000 It's emotional. 92 00:05:51,000 --> 00:05:54,000 It's good. 93 00:05:54,000 --> 00:05:57,000 Thank you. 94 00:05:57,000 --> 00:06:03,000 I think it inspires people, which is what I wanted to do. 95 00:06:03,000 --> 00:06:16,000 I want people to see humanity when I write and not see a black woman, not see somebody that has an illness or anything. 96 00:06:16,000 --> 00:06:21,000 I just want them to see humanity and when we start to see that in each other, 97 00:06:21,000 --> 00:06:24,000 then we can get past all the other stuff. 98 00:06:24,000 --> 00:06:28,000 And so I write my story because I know my story will connect with somebody. 99 00:06:28,000 --> 00:06:30,000 You can't take my story from me. 100 00:06:30,000 --> 00:06:50,000 And so I write that to connect. 101 00:06:50,000 --> 00:06:53,000 Stories do reveal our humanity. 102 00:06:53,000 --> 00:07:01,000 And I guess what I found is that in the Legos of life, we click when we fill each other's stories. 103 00:07:01,000 --> 00:07:04,000 That's where the bumps cover the holes. 104 00:07:04,000 --> 00:07:06,000 Where were you born? 105 00:07:06,000 --> 00:07:08,000 I was born in Detroit, Michigan. 106 00:07:08,000 --> 00:07:10,000 Guess who else was born in Detroit, Michigan? 107 00:07:10,000 --> 00:07:11,000 You. 108 00:07:11,000 --> 00:07:12,000 Me. 109 00:07:12,000 --> 00:07:13,000 Yes. 110 00:07:13,000 --> 00:07:15,000 Hutzel Hospital. 111 00:07:15,000 --> 00:07:18,000 Guess who was born in Hutzel Hospital? 112 00:07:18,000 --> 00:07:20,000 I kid you that's that. 113 00:07:20,000 --> 00:07:21,000 That's amazing. 114 00:07:21,000 --> 00:07:24,000 I was born in Hutzel Hospital in Detroit, Michigan. 115 00:07:24,000 --> 00:07:25,000 Yeah. 116 00:07:25,000 --> 00:07:26,000 Wow. 117 00:07:26,000 --> 00:07:27,000 That's a small one. 118 00:07:27,000 --> 00:07:29,000 That is bizarre. 119 00:07:29,000 --> 00:07:32,000 So tell me more. 120 00:07:32,000 --> 00:07:37,000 So I was born in Hutzel Hospital, 1978. 121 00:07:37,000 --> 00:07:47,000 And we left Detroit in 1986 and moved to Huntsville, Alabama. 122 00:07:47,000 --> 00:07:56,000 Do you know where I lived and worked and went to school? 123 00:07:56,000 --> 00:07:57,000 No. 124 00:07:57,000 --> 00:07:58,000 Stop it. 125 00:07:58,000 --> 00:08:00,000 I'm a graduate of Oakwood University. 126 00:08:00,000 --> 00:08:02,000 I went to Oakwood. 127 00:08:02,000 --> 00:08:04,000 In Hutzel, Alabama. 128 00:08:04,000 --> 00:08:09,000 That was what school I went to from third grade all the way to seventh. 129 00:08:09,000 --> 00:08:11,000 You got to be kidding me. 130 00:08:11,000 --> 00:08:12,000 No. 131 00:08:12,000 --> 00:08:13,000 Oh my gosh. 132 00:08:13,000 --> 00:08:14,000 That is amazing. 133 00:08:14,000 --> 00:08:18,000 I could probably call some names and you'd be like, oh, I know them. 134 00:08:18,000 --> 00:08:20,000 This is bizarre. 135 00:08:20,000 --> 00:08:22,000 Tell me more. 136 00:08:22,000 --> 00:08:24,000 Let's go deeper. 137 00:08:24,000 --> 00:08:25,000 So yeah. 138 00:08:25,000 --> 00:08:26,000 So yeah. 139 00:08:26,000 --> 00:08:30,000 So we moved there because my grandfather had cancer and they lived in Alabama. 140 00:08:30,000 --> 00:08:32,000 My dad wanted to be closer to his dad. 141 00:08:32,000 --> 00:08:34,000 So we moved to Huntsville, Alabama. 142 00:08:34,000 --> 00:08:37,000 My dad worked for the city of Huntsville. 143 00:08:37,000 --> 00:08:39,000 He was an accountant. 144 00:08:39,000 --> 00:08:43,000 And I went to Oakwood until seventh grade. 145 00:08:43,000 --> 00:08:46,000 And then I went to Westminster Christian Academy after that. 146 00:08:46,000 --> 00:08:48,000 And that's where I graduated from high school. 147 00:08:48,000 --> 00:08:53,000 And I left there and came to Knoxville to go to the University of Tennessee. 148 00:08:53,000 --> 00:08:55,000 And I have never left. 149 00:08:55,000 --> 00:08:57,000 This is home now. 150 00:08:57,000 --> 00:08:59,000 I've been here for 27 years. 151 00:08:59,000 --> 00:09:06,000 When did, when were you apprehended by art? 152 00:09:06,000 --> 00:09:12,000 When did the words, when did that fascination begin to? 153 00:09:12,000 --> 00:09:14,000 Wow. 154 00:09:14,000 --> 00:09:16,000 I can thank Oakwood for that. 155 00:09:16,000 --> 00:09:22,000 I tell people all the time, we had to read black poets. 156 00:09:22,000 --> 00:09:25,000 And we had to read black books. 157 00:09:25,000 --> 00:09:33,000 And I fell in love with poetry in third and fourth grade when they made us read Nicky Giovanni and Langston Hughes. 158 00:09:33,000 --> 00:09:35,000 Langston Hughes was the one that got me. 159 00:09:35,000 --> 00:09:37,000 Yeah, Langston Hughes got me. 160 00:09:37,000 --> 00:09:39,000 And then James Llewden Johnson. 161 00:09:39,000 --> 00:09:45,000 I remember being nine years old doing the creation in front of my church. 162 00:09:45,000 --> 00:09:50,000 And I made them flash the lights and added all the theatrics and everything. 163 00:09:50,000 --> 00:09:54,000 I performed James Llewden Johnson, the creation. 164 00:09:54,000 --> 00:09:59,000 What was it about the poetry and the words? 165 00:09:59,000 --> 00:10:01,000 What? 166 00:10:01,000 --> 00:10:03,000 It was a feeling. 167 00:10:03,000 --> 00:10:13,000 It's a feeling that it gave me that you can put your entire self into something and it lasts forever. 168 00:10:13,000 --> 00:10:17,000 Like I'll never meet Langston Hughes, but I know his story. 169 00:10:17,000 --> 00:10:18,000 Right. 170 00:10:18,000 --> 00:10:20,000 And I know his mom's story. 171 00:10:20,000 --> 00:10:28,000 And mother to son, that's probably going to always be one of my favorite poems. 172 00:10:28,000 --> 00:10:40,000 And I feel that way when I teach my sons about life, you know, and I bring that in to tell them all the time, you know, life's not always going to be easy. 173 00:10:40,000 --> 00:10:41,000 But you don't ever give up. 174 00:10:41,000 --> 00:10:44,000 You don't sit down on the steps because it's hard. 175 00:10:44,000 --> 00:10:46,000 You keep climbing. 176 00:10:46,000 --> 00:10:48,000 You keep pushing. 177 00:10:48,000 --> 00:10:56,000 I fell in love with poetry most expressed through songwriting. 178 00:10:56,000 --> 00:10:58,000 Right. 179 00:10:58,000 --> 00:11:01,000 And I'm working on a musical now. 180 00:11:01,000 --> 00:11:11,000 But here's what the words did for me and do for me. 181 00:11:11,000 --> 00:11:16,000 It gave me a place to repurpose pain. 182 00:11:16,000 --> 00:11:18,000 Yes, absolutely. 183 00:11:18,000 --> 00:11:22,000 So that pain that would have consumed me. 184 00:11:22,000 --> 00:11:26,000 I flip it on his head and use it as a resource. 185 00:11:26,000 --> 00:11:27,000 Oh, yes. 186 00:11:27,000 --> 00:11:28,000 Does that make? 187 00:11:28,000 --> 00:11:29,000 Oh, absolutely. 188 00:11:29,000 --> 00:11:32,000 I tell people all the time, poetry saved my life and yours. 189 00:11:32,000 --> 00:11:36,000 It saved you from me. 190 00:11:36,000 --> 00:11:38,000 Unresolved, right? 191 00:11:38,000 --> 00:11:40,000 It saved both of us, yes. 192 00:11:40,000 --> 00:11:42,000 It saved my life all the time. 193 00:11:42,000 --> 00:11:43,000 All right. 194 00:11:43,000 --> 00:11:50,000 So you run an organization called the Fifth Woman Cohort. 195 00:11:50,000 --> 00:11:51,000 What is that? 196 00:11:51,000 --> 00:11:58,000 The Fifth Woman is a collective of poets who have gone through a fellowship with me at 197 00:11:58,000 --> 00:12:01,000 some point in time in their journey as poets. 198 00:12:01,000 --> 00:12:08,000 And they spend, I'd say, about nine months with me just digging in and making them confront 199 00:12:08,000 --> 00:12:11,000 pain and confront their own personal stories. 200 00:12:11,000 --> 00:12:13,000 And they perform those pieces. 201 00:12:13,000 --> 00:12:16,000 And then after that, they are a part of a collective. 202 00:12:16,000 --> 00:12:18,000 And we perform all over the country. 203 00:12:18,000 --> 00:12:25,000 So we perform at Bonnaroo, we go to poetry slams, we do events here in the city. 204 00:12:25,000 --> 00:12:29,000 And some of them live in Knoxville, some of them live all over the place. 205 00:12:29,000 --> 00:12:34,000 So there's poets everywhere that I've been able to touch their lives. 206 00:12:34,000 --> 00:12:37,000 And then they go forth and they touch everybody else. 207 00:12:37,000 --> 00:12:39,000 Thank you for blessing the world with your art through that. 208 00:12:39,000 --> 00:12:44,000 What was it like to be named poet laureate of the city of Knoxville? 209 00:12:44,000 --> 00:12:45,000 Oh, gosh. 210 00:12:45,000 --> 00:12:49,000 It was hilarity. 211 00:12:49,000 --> 00:12:51,000 I never expected it. 212 00:12:51,000 --> 00:12:57,000 And then the way it happened, I think I was in Kroger grocery shopping and my phone rang. 213 00:12:57,000 --> 00:13:02,000 And I, you know, I answered the phone and it was Mayor Kankannon. 214 00:13:02,000 --> 00:13:06,000 And she was like, hi, Rayya, this is India Kankannon. 215 00:13:06,000 --> 00:13:09,000 Thanks for agreeing to be the poet laureate. 216 00:13:09,000 --> 00:13:13,000 I was like, I didn't even, I didn't know I agreed. 217 00:13:13,000 --> 00:13:15,000 And I was like, okay. 218 00:13:15,000 --> 00:13:16,000 Absolutely. 219 00:13:16,000 --> 00:13:17,000 Thank you. 220 00:13:17,000 --> 00:13:19,000 I got you. 221 00:13:19,000 --> 00:13:21,000 Absolutely. 222 00:13:21,000 --> 00:13:24,000 But it was such an honor. 223 00:13:24,000 --> 00:13:33,000 I think knowing my family's history, my family's story to be black history was just amazing. 224 00:13:33,000 --> 00:13:40,000 To be the first black poet laureate of Knoxville was, that was just the biggest honor to me. 225 00:13:40,000 --> 00:13:45,000 And to be able to say to my boys, you can still make history. 226 00:13:45,000 --> 00:13:48,000 Like, it doesn't have to be a long time ago. 227 00:13:48,000 --> 00:13:50,000 Mom made history yesterday. 228 00:13:50,000 --> 00:13:52,000 We're proud of you. 229 00:13:52,000 --> 00:13:53,000 Thank you. 230 00:13:53,000 --> 00:14:02,000 Possibility powered by Covenant Health, Home Federal, and the Knoxville News Sentinel. 231 00:14:02,000 --> 00:14:04,000 Coming up. 232 00:14:04,000 --> 00:14:12,000 I was diagnosed 13 years ago, six months after I died. 233 00:14:12,000 --> 00:14:22,000 Let's talk about your journey. 234 00:14:22,000 --> 00:14:28,000 One of the things is you are on this journey with multiple sclerosis. 235 00:14:28,000 --> 00:14:29,000 Yes. 236 00:14:29,000 --> 00:14:34,000 When did you find out when were you diagnosed and what is that journey been like for you? 237 00:14:34,000 --> 00:14:42,000 I was diagnosed 13 years ago, six months after I died. 238 00:14:42,000 --> 00:14:43,000 I was born. 239 00:14:43,000 --> 00:14:45,000 So my 13 year old was born. 240 00:14:45,000 --> 00:14:51,000 And then six months later, I was up teaching class and started losing my vision in my left eye. 241 00:14:51,000 --> 00:14:55,000 And it was the second time I had lost my vision in that manner. 242 00:14:55,000 --> 00:15:00,000 And so that's when they decided to test and see what was causing it. 243 00:15:00,000 --> 00:15:05,000 And they found the lesions on my brain. 244 00:15:05,000 --> 00:15:07,000 And so that was the diagnosis. 245 00:15:07,000 --> 00:15:15,000 But my neurologist has informed me that I probably had my first episode at nine years old when I had Guillain-Barre syndrome. 246 00:15:15,000 --> 00:15:19,000 And it completely paralyzed me at nine. 247 00:15:19,000 --> 00:15:24,000 And I think I was completely paralyzed for about four or five months. 248 00:15:24,000 --> 00:15:30,000 And then I started walking again and all of that came back. 249 00:15:30,000 --> 00:15:33,000 It's just, it's a journey. 250 00:15:33,000 --> 00:15:35,000 I tell people all the time, life be lifeing. 251 00:15:35,000 --> 00:15:38,000 So it's a part of my story. 252 00:15:38,000 --> 00:15:40,000 It's a part of my life. 253 00:15:40,000 --> 00:15:45,000 And I love that it's a part of my story. 254 00:15:45,000 --> 00:15:51,000 Because I get to show people the resilience that you can have in your body and your mind. 255 00:15:51,000 --> 00:15:53,000 How art can be healing. 256 00:15:53,000 --> 00:16:03,000 I wrote a whole book while I was going through some things with my MS and dealing with pain and medication changes and all of that. 257 00:16:03,000 --> 00:16:05,000 And more poetry came out. 258 00:16:05,000 --> 00:16:06,000 Through the clouds. 259 00:16:06,000 --> 00:16:07,000 Through the clouds. 260 00:16:07,000 --> 00:16:09,000 Is it available? 261 00:16:09,000 --> 00:16:10,000 It is available on Amazon. 262 00:16:10,000 --> 00:16:11,000 All right. 263 00:16:11,000 --> 00:16:14,000 So please, please go get that. 264 00:16:14,000 --> 00:16:19,000 Were you, are you afraid? 265 00:16:19,000 --> 00:16:28,000 I'm only afraid that I'll let it worry me too much. 266 00:16:28,000 --> 00:16:29,000 I try not to worry. 267 00:16:29,000 --> 00:16:32,000 I try to be a pretty stress-free person. 268 00:16:32,000 --> 00:16:39,000 And so I guess I'm only afraid that one day I'll be afraid. 269 00:16:39,000 --> 00:16:40,000 Does that make sense? 270 00:16:40,000 --> 00:16:42,000 I don't even know if that makes sense. 271 00:16:42,000 --> 00:16:45,000 The only thing we have to fear is fear itself. 272 00:16:45,000 --> 00:16:50,000 Yeah, so that's what I'm afraid of is that one day it'll scare me. 273 00:16:50,000 --> 00:16:51,000 Right now it doesn't. 274 00:16:51,000 --> 00:16:54,000 I don't, I don't let it get me down. 275 00:16:54,000 --> 00:16:56,000 You know, I have my rough days. 276 00:16:56,000 --> 00:16:58,000 I have days of fatigue. 277 00:16:58,000 --> 00:17:01,000 What's your rough day like physically? 278 00:17:01,000 --> 00:17:03,000 I don't want to move. 279 00:17:03,000 --> 00:17:05,000 I just want to be. 280 00:17:05,000 --> 00:17:07,000 I don't want to talk. 281 00:17:07,000 --> 00:17:10,000 I just want to sit still. 282 00:17:10,000 --> 00:17:12,000 I'm tired. 283 00:17:12,000 --> 00:17:21,000 And those days, you know, thankfully I have a partner and he is the best person in the world on those days. 284 00:17:21,000 --> 00:17:24,000 And he's like, put your feet up or rub your feet. 285 00:17:24,000 --> 00:17:26,000 What else do you need me to rub? 286 00:17:26,000 --> 00:17:28,000 You know, he's like, I got you. 287 00:17:28,000 --> 00:17:32,000 And those, those are the, those are the worst days. 288 00:17:32,000 --> 00:17:36,000 And those are the, those are another form of a cloud. 289 00:17:36,000 --> 00:17:40,000 The clouds represent two things. 290 00:17:40,000 --> 00:17:44,000 And so when I lost my vision, it was like looking through clouds. 291 00:17:44,000 --> 00:17:45,000 It was white. 292 00:17:45,000 --> 00:17:48,000 Did you lose your vision in one of your eyes? 293 00:17:48,000 --> 00:17:50,000 I lost the vision in my right eye first. 294 00:17:50,000 --> 00:17:54,000 And then it came back after two months. 295 00:17:54,000 --> 00:17:58,000 And then the second episode, I lost it in my left eye. 296 00:17:58,000 --> 00:18:02,000 And it came back after eight weeks. 297 00:18:02,000 --> 00:18:07,000 So, but during those times, it's just like looking through clouds. 298 00:18:07,000 --> 00:18:11,000 Like if you're trying to see through that eye, you can't make anything out. 299 00:18:11,000 --> 00:18:12,000 You're just looking through clouds. 300 00:18:12,000 --> 00:18:14,000 And so that's what those clouds represent. 301 00:18:14,000 --> 00:18:20,000 But on rough days, it's like a cloudy day, you know, like it's like my head is in the clouds. 302 00:18:20,000 --> 00:18:25,000 And so I feel like I'm just like, kind of just. 303 00:18:25,000 --> 00:18:29,000 Tell me about meeting your, I got you person. 304 00:18:29,000 --> 00:18:33,000 Funny story. 305 00:18:33,000 --> 00:18:37,000 So I'm almost four years older than him. 306 00:18:37,000 --> 00:18:40,000 So when he came to UT, he was 17 years old. 307 00:18:40,000 --> 00:18:42,000 And that's the first time we met. 308 00:18:42,000 --> 00:18:44,000 And he was a kid. 309 00:18:44,000 --> 00:18:46,000 So let him be a kid. 310 00:18:46,000 --> 00:18:51,000 10 years later, we ran into each other again. 311 00:18:51,000 --> 00:18:55,000 And there's just like, I don't know, we were like brother and sister. 312 00:18:55,000 --> 00:18:58,000 You would seem we played video games together. 313 00:18:58,000 --> 00:19:01,000 We hung out and laughed and I cooked. 314 00:19:01,000 --> 00:19:03,000 And it was never anything. 315 00:19:03,000 --> 00:19:09,000 And then one day I was in church just worshiping and he was next to me. 316 00:19:09,000 --> 00:19:14,000 And I felt a whisper like, that's him. 317 00:19:14,000 --> 00:19:15,000 And I ignored it. 318 00:19:15,000 --> 00:19:17,000 I was like, whatever. 319 00:19:17,000 --> 00:19:21,000 And we're trying to worship here. 320 00:19:21,000 --> 00:19:22,000 Like we're trying to work here. 321 00:19:22,000 --> 00:19:24,000 Stick to the program. 322 00:19:24,000 --> 00:19:30,000 And then a few weeks after that, we were sitting on my, he was sitting on my, 323 00:19:30,000 --> 00:19:31,000 my couch. 324 00:19:31,000 --> 00:19:34,000 I tell people all the time, we didn't even sit on the same couch at my house. 325 00:19:34,000 --> 00:19:38,000 Like he sat on one couch with my dog and I sat on the other couch. 326 00:19:38,000 --> 00:19:46,000 We played video games and he says he heard audibly God say, that's your wife. 327 00:19:46,000 --> 00:19:49,000 And he's not the type of guy who ever says that. 328 00:19:49,000 --> 00:19:51,000 Like he doesn't say, God spoke to me. 329 00:19:51,000 --> 00:19:54,000 That's, you know, he's not that guy. 330 00:19:54,000 --> 00:20:02,000 So we did the Daniel Fast in January, new year, and we were sitting down eating a salad together. 331 00:20:02,000 --> 00:20:04,000 And he goes, I have to tell you something. 332 00:20:04,000 --> 00:20:08,000 And I was like, okay, you know, we're in this place, iron sharpens iron. 333 00:20:08,000 --> 00:20:09,000 What do I need to fix? 334 00:20:09,000 --> 00:20:12,000 Like you're about to correct me is what I thought. 335 00:20:12,000 --> 00:20:15,000 And he goes, God said that you're my wife. 336 00:20:15,000 --> 00:20:19,000 And I was like, okay. 337 00:20:19,000 --> 00:20:20,000 And I just kind of kept eating. 338 00:20:20,000 --> 00:20:22,000 I gave him no response. 339 00:20:22,000 --> 00:20:25,000 I gave him nothing to go off of. 340 00:20:25,000 --> 00:20:27,000 He had to have faith. 341 00:20:27,000 --> 00:20:29,000 He was going to follow through with that one. 342 00:20:29,000 --> 00:20:32,000 And so I just was like, okay. 343 00:20:32,000 --> 00:20:35,000 Because at the time I didn't feel there was no butterflies. 344 00:20:35,000 --> 00:20:39,000 I didn't feel, you know, like, oh, this is going to be the love of my life. 345 00:20:39,000 --> 00:20:40,000 You know what I mean? 346 00:20:40,000 --> 00:20:41,000 I just didn't feel that. 347 00:20:41,000 --> 00:20:49,000 And, you know, I talked to my mentor and I said, and Marcus said that God said I'm his wife. 348 00:20:49,000 --> 00:20:50,000 And she said, well, how do you feel? 349 00:20:50,000 --> 00:20:52,000 I said, I don't feel anything. 350 00:20:52,000 --> 00:20:58,000 And she was like, well, if it's God, he'll bring the love. 351 00:20:58,000 --> 00:21:01,000 Just trust, just wait and see. 352 00:21:01,000 --> 00:21:03,000 And so that's what we did. 353 00:21:03,000 --> 00:21:08,000 We just kind of, he said, well, will you at least be my Valentine? 354 00:21:08,000 --> 00:21:11,000 And I said, okay, now be your Valentine. 355 00:21:11,000 --> 00:21:17,000 And so by Valentine's Day, he reached down and held my hand and I didn't pull it away. 356 00:21:17,000 --> 00:21:20,000 It felt okay. 357 00:21:20,000 --> 00:21:25,000 And from there, just he grew to be the love of my life. 358 00:21:25,000 --> 00:21:26,000 That's amazing. 359 00:21:26,000 --> 00:21:27,000 Yeah. 360 00:21:27,000 --> 00:21:28,000 He's amazing. 361 00:21:28,000 --> 00:21:30,000 Why don't we take a break? 362 00:21:30,000 --> 00:21:34,000 Your story demands a part two. 363 00:21:34,000 --> 00:21:36,000 My guest is Rhea Carmen. 364 00:21:36,000 --> 00:21:39,000 And I'm delighted to have you here today. 365 00:21:39,000 --> 00:21:40,000 Thank you so much. 366 00:21:40,000 --> 00:21:42,000 I'm delighted to have you here today. 367 00:21:42,000 --> 00:21:43,000 Thank you so much. 368 00:21:43,000 --> 00:21:45,000 I'm delighted to have you here today. 369 00:21:45,000 --> 00:21:47,000 Thank you so much. 370 00:21:47,000 --> 00:21:57,000 I'm delighted for the way that your gifts and your inspiration and your talent is being used to be a light and a blessing, 371 00:21:57,000 --> 00:22:04,000 but also think your life is a representation of possibility, which I want to explore further in our next episode 372 00:22:04,000 --> 00:22:06,000 because I want to talk about art. 373 00:22:06,000 --> 00:22:07,000 Yay. 374 00:22:07,000 --> 00:22:08,000 We'll do that. 375 00:22:08,000 --> 00:22:09,000 You're watching Anything Is Possible. 376 00:22:09,000 --> 00:22:15,000 We'll see you next time.