1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:05,000 Celebrating the power of possibility. 2 00:00:05,000 --> 00:00:34,000 I'm Jeanette Mills and I believe that anything is possible. 3 00:00:34,000 --> 00:00:35,000 This is anything is possible. 4 00:00:35,000 --> 00:00:39,680 I'm Halloran Hilton Hill and my guest is Jeanette Mills. 5 00:00:39,680 --> 00:00:44,160 Part two of our interview, what have you learned about possibility for somebody that might be 6 00:00:44,160 --> 00:00:50,080 looking, wanting to learn, to think about their future? 7 00:00:50,080 --> 00:00:52,040 What are the life lessons you've learned? 8 00:00:52,040 --> 00:00:58,040 So I tell people all the time, one of the things I always was was open to considering 9 00:00:58,040 --> 00:01:03,200 thoughts from others or positions or responsibilities that are things I would have never thought 10 00:01:03,200 --> 00:01:05,880 about doing it myself. 11 00:01:05,880 --> 00:01:09,480 So I've always been open to that possibility, which is how I ended up at TVA because someone 12 00:01:09,480 --> 00:01:15,440 called me and said that they were looking for someone to take my position and they were 13 00:01:15,440 --> 00:01:17,040 doing a national search. 14 00:01:17,040 --> 00:01:18,520 I had never thought I'd live in Tennessee. 15 00:01:18,520 --> 00:01:20,480 I had to be open. 16 00:01:20,480 --> 00:01:21,640 So I was open. 17 00:01:21,640 --> 00:01:28,200 The next I'll say is in life I try to focus on good intention. 18 00:01:28,200 --> 00:01:34,680 I try not to believe that people with situations are kind of out either to get me or whatever. 19 00:01:34,680 --> 00:01:38,280 I try to focus on the positive no matter what's happening. 20 00:01:38,280 --> 00:01:41,520 And there are times things have happened in my career where I thought I really want to 21 00:01:41,520 --> 00:01:42,640 quit today. 22 00:01:42,640 --> 00:01:43,640 I really do. 23 00:01:43,640 --> 00:01:49,880 But then I stopped myself and I said, Jeanette, God has a reason for this. 24 00:01:49,880 --> 00:01:53,600 There's something good that needs to come out of this. 25 00:01:53,600 --> 00:01:56,480 The other part I've always stressed is relationships. 26 00:01:56,480 --> 00:02:00,360 You have to have relationships with people. 27 00:02:00,360 --> 00:02:07,480 And what I try every time, whether I'm working at a company, if I leave a company, I never 28 00:02:07,480 --> 00:02:09,600 talk bad about it. 29 00:02:09,600 --> 00:02:14,120 When I'm in the company, I try to bring positive and I try to establish really strong relationships. 30 00:02:14,120 --> 00:02:17,080 So you go back to my time at Baldwin Gas Electric. 31 00:02:17,080 --> 00:02:21,880 I was at 25 years and many times a first. 32 00:02:21,880 --> 00:02:25,600 But to this day, they say people still talk about me because they said I was a good boss 33 00:02:25,600 --> 00:02:30,400 to them and that I treated them well, but I treated them with respect. 34 00:02:30,400 --> 00:02:35,280 And so relationships mad and I tell folks that as well. 35 00:02:35,280 --> 00:02:40,600 And I'll say one more that I think about, which is acceptance. 36 00:02:40,600 --> 00:02:45,280 Because you have to accept circumstances that are beyond your control. 37 00:02:45,280 --> 00:02:48,040 You cannot keep replaying the tape. 38 00:02:48,040 --> 00:02:52,440 If something happens, whether in life or at work, you have to get to a point where you 39 00:02:52,440 --> 00:02:53,440 even accepted it. 40 00:02:53,440 --> 00:02:58,680 How'd you learn that professionally and personally? 41 00:02:58,680 --> 00:03:01,400 So I'll start professionally. 42 00:03:01,400 --> 00:03:02,640 Believe it or not, I'm with him. 43 00:03:02,640 --> 00:03:07,720 My late husband, Dave, he was eight years old and so I was like every time something 44 00:03:07,720 --> 00:03:09,600 happened, I'm like I'm quitting the mar. 45 00:03:09,600 --> 00:03:11,600 He was like what? 46 00:03:11,600 --> 00:03:13,440 But you got all these good things going on. 47 00:03:13,440 --> 00:03:20,480 This one thing, he was very much a glass half full kind of a person and he helped me learn 48 00:03:20,480 --> 00:03:21,720 to see that bright side. 49 00:03:21,720 --> 00:03:23,760 Okay, so you didn't get that position. 50 00:03:23,760 --> 00:03:29,840 Jeanette, he said to me one time, I felt like I was passed over at work for a promotion. 51 00:03:29,840 --> 00:03:33,360 And I didn't say anything at work, but I tried to manage my self at work. 52 00:03:33,360 --> 00:03:34,880 But when I went home, I was talking to him about it. 53 00:03:34,880 --> 00:03:36,600 He says, well, Jeanette, it's okay. 54 00:03:36,600 --> 00:03:37,720 You didn't get this position. 55 00:03:37,720 --> 00:03:41,840 He said, but one day you're going to look around and you're going to be promoted and 56 00:03:41,840 --> 00:03:43,000 you're going to look back. 57 00:03:43,000 --> 00:03:46,400 And this is just one step in the journey. 58 00:03:46,400 --> 00:03:47,960 So I listened to him. 59 00:03:47,960 --> 00:03:53,240 So years later, when I was first promoted to an executive, I looked back at that one 60 00:03:53,240 --> 00:03:55,800 position I was so upset about. 61 00:03:55,800 --> 00:03:59,000 And those folks, even though they were doing well at the company, they hadn't become an 62 00:03:59,000 --> 00:04:00,000 executive yet. 63 00:04:00,000 --> 00:04:04,080 So it worked itself out without me emotionally getting negative about it. 64 00:04:04,080 --> 00:04:08,280 And he taught me, see the bright side, there's always a bright side. 65 00:04:08,280 --> 00:04:12,640 And then personally, I had to practice acceptance when he got sick with cancer. 66 00:04:12,640 --> 00:04:14,400 What was that like for you? 67 00:04:14,400 --> 00:04:15,400 Actually pretty devastating. 68 00:04:15,400 --> 00:04:17,080 I got to be honest with you. 69 00:04:17,080 --> 00:04:19,040 It was one of those moments where it's like, really? 70 00:04:19,040 --> 00:04:25,080 So quickly my mom passed away from cancer at 51. 71 00:04:25,080 --> 00:04:30,760 And she had a colon, we think, but due to lack of healthcare, it's trying to everywhere 72 00:04:30,760 --> 00:04:32,680 by the time we found out. 73 00:04:32,680 --> 00:04:37,160 And my husband, Hotley, who had healthcare and everything, he ended up passing away at 74 00:04:37,160 --> 00:04:39,160 51 from cancer. 75 00:04:39,160 --> 00:04:40,160 15 years later. 76 00:04:40,160 --> 00:04:41,160 How about crazy? 77 00:04:41,160 --> 00:04:42,160 Is that crazy? 78 00:04:42,160 --> 00:04:43,160 That's crazy. 79 00:04:43,160 --> 00:04:44,160 That's crazy. 80 00:04:44,160 --> 00:04:50,080 So the irony of the whole thing is, seven years before he passed away, we decided he would 81 00:04:50,080 --> 00:04:53,760 stay home because I had become an executive at BGE. 82 00:04:53,760 --> 00:04:55,720 And I was going to quit before I became an executive. 83 00:04:55,720 --> 00:04:57,400 He's like, no, you're going to take that job. 84 00:04:57,400 --> 00:04:58,400 I'll stay home with the kids. 85 00:04:58,400 --> 00:05:00,600 We had two children. 86 00:05:00,600 --> 00:05:01,600 Little did we know. 87 00:05:01,600 --> 00:05:04,720 We didn't know he was sick or going to get sick or anything. 88 00:05:04,720 --> 00:05:08,000 So he was home the last seven years of his life. 89 00:05:08,000 --> 00:05:12,000 My son, I think from the time my son, the youngest, was two until he went even dying. 90 00:05:12,000 --> 00:05:14,720 His dad was home with him the entire time. 91 00:05:14,720 --> 00:05:17,720 And my daughter, right, five until 13. 92 00:05:17,720 --> 00:05:22,840 So at the time, we found out he was sick. 93 00:05:22,840 --> 00:05:24,480 He was home. 94 00:05:24,480 --> 00:05:30,120 And so there was this process of a lot of treatment, chemotherapy, surgeries, et cetera, et cetera. 95 00:05:30,120 --> 00:05:31,800 We ended up having a lot of great vacations. 96 00:05:31,800 --> 00:05:34,400 We were like, we were cramming all these great vacations with the kids. 97 00:05:34,400 --> 00:05:38,560 But he passed away when my kids were nine and 13. 98 00:05:38,560 --> 00:05:44,920 So it was one of those moments where I literally had to accept that this is my reality. 99 00:05:44,920 --> 00:05:45,920 This is my reality. 100 00:05:45,920 --> 00:05:52,360 And the irony of it, Helen, is I said I never wanted to be a single parent. 101 00:05:52,360 --> 00:05:55,920 And in a weird way, I was a single parent from a structural perspective, meaning I'm 102 00:05:55,920 --> 00:05:57,200 there taking care of the kids. 103 00:05:57,200 --> 00:06:00,920 It was a lot of great help from my family and friends. 104 00:06:00,920 --> 00:06:03,560 But he was always their father. 105 00:06:03,560 --> 00:06:06,520 To this day, we talk about him. 106 00:06:06,520 --> 00:06:08,720 And it'll be 15 years this September. 107 00:06:08,720 --> 00:06:10,560 Sorry, I can't be more sure. 108 00:06:10,560 --> 00:06:12,560 But yeah, but that had to practice and accepted. 109 00:06:12,560 --> 00:06:13,560 The spirit was present. 110 00:06:13,560 --> 00:06:14,560 Right. 111 00:06:14,560 --> 00:06:15,560 Even though he physically. 112 00:06:15,560 --> 00:06:16,560 But it was present. 113 00:06:16,560 --> 00:06:17,560 Right. 114 00:06:17,560 --> 00:06:18,560 Even now. 115 00:06:18,560 --> 00:06:19,560 Exactly. 116 00:06:19,560 --> 00:06:20,560 To this day. 117 00:06:20,560 --> 00:06:22,000 And it sound like to me he was more than a husband. 118 00:06:22,000 --> 00:06:24,000 He was a friend, coach. 119 00:06:24,000 --> 00:06:32,280 And maybe his, what he shared with you, kind of as I'm mapping your story, having people 120 00:06:32,280 --> 00:06:41,840 in your life where you feel seen and known is just a huge part of the backstop that you 121 00:06:41,840 --> 00:06:45,040 need to be in a position of leadership. 122 00:06:45,040 --> 00:06:46,040 Yes. 123 00:06:46,040 --> 00:06:47,040 Right. 124 00:06:47,040 --> 00:06:50,200 You need to know that somewhere somebody believes in you no matter what. 125 00:06:50,200 --> 00:06:51,720 And no matter what. 126 00:06:51,720 --> 00:06:52,720 Right. 127 00:06:52,720 --> 00:06:53,720 Yes. 128 00:06:53,720 --> 00:06:54,720 And that's rare. 129 00:06:54,720 --> 00:06:55,720 Right. 130 00:06:55,720 --> 00:06:56,720 Exactly. 131 00:06:56,720 --> 00:06:57,720 Right. 132 00:06:57,720 --> 00:07:00,920 And it's funny, my analogy is from the gladiator time. 133 00:07:00,920 --> 00:07:04,960 You know, I'm in a big coliseum in the stadium and you know, you're standing there and I'm 134 00:07:04,960 --> 00:07:09,680 the one standing down there and they're about to lift the gate up. 135 00:07:09,680 --> 00:07:11,320 I knew I could always look up. 136 00:07:11,320 --> 00:07:16,360 There's Dave, my mama, my grandmother, my aunt, my sister saying, you can do it, Jeanette, 137 00:07:16,360 --> 00:07:17,360 you can do it. 138 00:07:17,360 --> 00:07:21,160 Even though there's this big monster about to come out right and eat me or something. 139 00:07:21,160 --> 00:07:22,960 So they would always be there. 140 00:07:22,960 --> 00:07:26,120 So because sometimes work can be that way. 141 00:07:26,120 --> 00:07:39,800 Empowered by Covenant Health, Home Federal and the Knoxville News Sentinel. 142 00:07:39,800 --> 00:07:44,000 Your story is so fascinating to me. 143 00:07:44,000 --> 00:07:54,480 What and hope you're okay with this, but what God has done in your life seems to be so amazing. 144 00:07:54,480 --> 00:08:01,480 These women that surrounded you with love, your late husband, seemed like he loved you 145 00:08:01,480 --> 00:08:05,440 on that same frequency. 146 00:08:05,440 --> 00:08:10,960 And maybe, you know, as we were talking through your life and you figuring out what success 147 00:08:10,960 --> 00:08:16,920 looks like being open and being available, you would get to the next thing and opportunities 148 00:08:16,920 --> 00:08:21,560 would come and Ms. Tommy would tell you to take the opportunity. 149 00:08:21,560 --> 00:08:25,600 And so you've progressed and you've had a very successful career, but we were talking 150 00:08:25,600 --> 00:08:30,320 about the power of what I see in the arc of your story. 151 00:08:30,320 --> 00:08:33,760 By the way, if I was titling your book, it'd be Tommy's Girl. 152 00:08:33,760 --> 00:08:36,200 Okay, okay, okay, like that. 153 00:08:36,200 --> 00:08:38,400 That's good, I like that. 154 00:08:38,400 --> 00:08:40,440 Might use that. 155 00:08:40,440 --> 00:08:46,400 Because it seems like her strength, you know, is kind of the, that's the foundational thing 156 00:08:46,400 --> 00:08:47,400 there. 157 00:08:47,400 --> 00:08:52,480 Like being bracketed by all this love, but it seemed like, so I'll throw something out 158 00:08:52,480 --> 00:08:58,480 to you that I don't know if this will resonate with you, but we'll see where it goes. 159 00:08:58,480 --> 00:09:05,840 You learned to live on a certain frequency of love. 160 00:09:05,840 --> 00:09:13,600 Like you know the signature of what it means to have a community that loves you unconditionally. 161 00:09:13,600 --> 00:09:18,200 So that would correct you, but encourage you, is a perfect bracket. 162 00:09:18,200 --> 00:09:22,160 And that quality of love has a frequency. 163 00:09:22,160 --> 00:09:33,400 What I'm imagining is that when you and your late husband found each other, what made him 164 00:09:33,400 --> 00:09:38,280 so important to you was it was a matching frequency. 165 00:09:38,280 --> 00:09:40,960 Yeah, and you know, it's interesting because he- 166 00:09:40,960 --> 00:09:41,960 Does that sound right? 167 00:09:41,960 --> 00:09:42,960 Yeah, it was. 168 00:09:42,960 --> 00:09:47,680 And it was, I tell people all the time, he was my friend. 169 00:09:47,680 --> 00:09:51,000 I knew that he would do anything for me, no matter what. 170 00:09:51,000 --> 00:09:53,720 And so for me that it was, you know, secure. 171 00:09:53,720 --> 00:09:55,760 It was almost like a security blanket. 172 00:09:55,760 --> 00:10:02,080 And so, you know, he grew up, what I call rural poor on the eastern shore of Maryland, 173 00:10:02,080 --> 00:10:04,920 and I grew up urban poor in Baltimore. 174 00:10:04,920 --> 00:10:08,760 And then when we met up, it's almost like we clicked. 175 00:10:08,760 --> 00:10:12,160 Just emotional and all different levels. 176 00:10:12,160 --> 00:10:18,360 And I knew, no matter what happened, that he had, you know, my goodness or my, you 177 00:10:18,360 --> 00:10:22,960 know, he had a positive intent for me, no matter what. 178 00:10:22,960 --> 00:10:25,600 How did he express that knowing? 179 00:10:25,600 --> 00:10:30,440 You know, it's funny, the way he, for me, the first thing he did, I think, when we 180 00:10:30,440 --> 00:10:35,840 were dating, I had three nephews that went everywhere with me when I was single. 181 00:10:35,840 --> 00:10:38,040 As a matter of fact, when I had my kids, they were upset. 182 00:10:38,040 --> 00:10:42,760 They were like, to this day, they'd try to, you know, rough my two biological children 183 00:10:42,760 --> 00:10:44,240 up, like he roared it for us. 184 00:10:44,240 --> 00:10:46,600 But so they went everywhere with me. 185 00:10:46,600 --> 00:10:50,640 So when I start dating, and so a lot of times when you're dating, the person just wants 186 00:10:50,640 --> 00:10:55,160 to be with you, but, you know, Dave was like, no, come on, they were going to come with 187 00:10:55,160 --> 00:10:56,880 us because they've come with you, right? 188 00:10:56,880 --> 00:10:57,880 And I'm like, yeah. 189 00:10:57,880 --> 00:11:03,200 And so there was this willingness to kind of be open and have everybody in. 190 00:11:03,200 --> 00:11:08,400 And he just embraced my family to the point where, to this day, all of them still talk 191 00:11:08,400 --> 00:11:11,880 about him, like he's going to walk in the door, even though he's been gone, or to be 192 00:11:11,880 --> 00:11:14,400 15 years this September. 193 00:11:14,400 --> 00:11:17,920 Leadership can be lonely, right? 194 00:11:17,920 --> 00:11:20,880 Lonely rhymes with the word only. 195 00:11:20,880 --> 00:11:23,840 In your case, you're in a lot of rooms. 196 00:11:23,840 --> 00:11:29,240 As you've been moving through the arc of your career, you've been in a lot of rooms where 197 00:11:29,240 --> 00:11:35,680 you're the only woman, the only woman of color, a strong woman of color, right? 198 00:11:35,680 --> 00:11:39,800 There's a whole dynamic to that. 199 00:11:39,800 --> 00:11:47,040 And I would imagine that when you're moving up in leadership, and you have to help me 200 00:11:47,040 --> 00:11:56,720 with this, but having somebody in your life that has your back, does that help with that? 201 00:11:56,720 --> 00:12:04,240 Because I would imagine you've put a really positive patina on your rise through a very 202 00:12:04,240 --> 00:12:07,120 competitive, male-dominated. 203 00:12:07,120 --> 00:12:12,440 The power industry is not for the faint of heart. 204 00:12:12,440 --> 00:12:13,960 It's a numbers industry. 205 00:12:13,960 --> 00:12:14,960 It's all of those things. 206 00:12:14,960 --> 00:12:16,880 It's a regulatory space. 207 00:12:16,880 --> 00:12:19,880 It's all of that. 208 00:12:19,880 --> 00:12:22,280 What was that journey like? 209 00:12:22,280 --> 00:12:28,400 So many times, initially early in my career, again, I would go to a meeting. 210 00:12:28,400 --> 00:12:34,720 I remember one time I went to a meeting, basically a white man and me. 211 00:12:34,720 --> 00:12:36,120 I come in and they're looking. 212 00:12:36,120 --> 00:12:37,720 It hadn't happened before. 213 00:12:37,720 --> 00:12:43,480 I just got now associate engineer. 214 00:12:43,480 --> 00:12:46,960 They literally turned to me and said, who are you and why are you here? 215 00:12:46,960 --> 00:12:49,320 Why are you in this meeting? 216 00:12:49,320 --> 00:12:53,400 And so I'm like, oh, so I said, okay. 217 00:12:53,400 --> 00:12:56,880 And so I explained to them my name, my title. 218 00:12:56,880 --> 00:12:58,680 I just joined this group. 219 00:12:58,680 --> 00:13:01,720 And the person with me was like, no, she's with me. 220 00:13:01,720 --> 00:13:08,360 But it was very, in some ways, disrespectful because I'm the only woman in there. 221 00:13:08,360 --> 00:13:13,520 But I learned not to project that back, to take it to a place of, okay. 222 00:13:13,520 --> 00:13:19,120 So from that point on, when I went to a meeting, I said who I was, why I was there, what group 223 00:13:19,120 --> 00:13:20,440 I was from. 224 00:13:20,440 --> 00:13:24,480 And when I jokingly tell people, over time, as my career rose, I didn't have to do that 225 00:13:24,480 --> 00:13:26,720 anymore. 226 00:13:26,720 --> 00:13:31,280 But I had to make sure people understood my role. 227 00:13:31,280 --> 00:13:40,040 Did you feel like you had to somehow reset the room and make it okay for you to be there? 228 00:13:40,040 --> 00:13:42,360 A, I'm qualified to be here. 229 00:13:42,360 --> 00:13:48,640 B, I've got the added responsibility to make you comfortable with me being here. 230 00:13:48,640 --> 00:13:49,640 Exactly. 231 00:13:49,640 --> 00:13:50,640 That's a lot of work. 232 00:13:50,640 --> 00:13:51,640 It's a lot of work. 233 00:13:51,640 --> 00:13:55,760 And then two, being an engineer adds a whole other dimension to it. 234 00:13:55,760 --> 00:13:59,480 And honestly, going to Virginia Tech always helped that out. 235 00:13:59,480 --> 00:14:02,600 Because they'd say, where'd you go to school? 236 00:14:02,600 --> 00:14:05,240 And I'd say, I went to Virginia Tech, oh, okay. 237 00:14:05,240 --> 00:14:06,240 Okay. 238 00:14:06,240 --> 00:14:08,880 I was like, you're good, you're good. 239 00:14:08,880 --> 00:14:13,360 So that helped me as well. 240 00:14:13,360 --> 00:14:19,640 And I always said to myself, you've got to focus on your goals, not necessarily the journey 241 00:14:19,640 --> 00:14:25,840 will be there, but it's your goals that you have for yourself, Jeanette, that really matter. 242 00:14:25,840 --> 00:14:30,560 And we grew up in a place where people would say a lot of things about you outside, and 243 00:14:30,560 --> 00:14:32,440 we learned at home early and on. 244 00:14:32,440 --> 00:14:35,000 My mom would say, that doesn't matter. 245 00:14:35,000 --> 00:14:39,200 What matters is what you believe about yourself, where you're going and how you're going to 246 00:14:39,200 --> 00:14:40,840 achieve it. 247 00:14:40,840 --> 00:14:46,720 And so she would especially say that to me, and she'd say, because I was the least popular 248 00:14:46,720 --> 00:14:48,520 of my sisters. 249 00:14:48,520 --> 00:14:53,240 And I'll say this, my sisters and I have achieved, we did what our mother wanted. 250 00:14:53,240 --> 00:14:55,000 We all got through high school education. 251 00:14:55,000 --> 00:15:01,640 So my oldest sister now works in retail, in the office at a retail company. 252 00:15:01,640 --> 00:15:05,560 And she switched jobs quite a bit, but that's another story for another time. 253 00:15:05,560 --> 00:15:08,920 Second oldest worked at Social Security her entire career, retired. 254 00:15:08,920 --> 00:15:14,400 So she went there as a high school student in like an internship program and retired 255 00:15:14,400 --> 00:15:15,480 from there. 256 00:15:15,480 --> 00:15:21,000 And then the next one, Jackie, the one closest to me, she works in the state around. 257 00:15:21,000 --> 00:15:23,360 So from my mom's perspective, we did that. 258 00:15:23,360 --> 00:15:27,600 She wanted all our girls to be safe, to do well, and to make something out of their lives. 259 00:15:27,600 --> 00:15:28,600 And they all did it. 260 00:15:28,600 --> 00:15:29,600 And they all did. 261 00:15:29,600 --> 00:15:30,600 Miss Tommy got it done. 262 00:15:30,600 --> 00:15:46,320 So to your point about like my rise, I always, many times felt like because I was the only 263 00:15:46,320 --> 00:15:48,440 one I had to do well, I had to be perfect. 264 00:15:48,440 --> 00:15:54,640 I had to make sure, you know, my work was good and that I was very, um, type A, almost 265 00:15:54,640 --> 00:15:57,520 a bit of a perfectionist early in my career. 266 00:15:57,520 --> 00:16:01,760 And then when I moved into leadership and had to lead a group of people and typically, 267 00:16:01,760 --> 00:16:07,600 you know, my first leadership assignments were always all male, pretty much all male. 268 00:16:07,600 --> 00:16:10,280 And they would say earlier, Hey, you got kids your age. 269 00:16:10,280 --> 00:16:12,480 And I'd say you probably do. 270 00:16:12,480 --> 00:16:19,480 But I had to learn how to lead them, even though they had kids my age in a way that 271 00:16:19,480 --> 00:16:20,760 brought out the best of them. 272 00:16:20,760 --> 00:16:22,680 And so how'd you do that? 273 00:16:22,680 --> 00:16:26,200 So a lot of times, my first group, I'll give an example, they were designers. 274 00:16:26,200 --> 00:16:31,320 So they would go out in the field and meet with folks about running new electric or gas 275 00:16:31,320 --> 00:16:32,320 lines. 276 00:16:32,320 --> 00:16:36,280 And so, um, when I came in, because I knew they had called everybody to find out about, 277 00:16:36,280 --> 00:16:39,040 you know, Jeanette, Jeanette's coming. 278 00:16:39,040 --> 00:16:42,680 So what I did was at our first kind of unit meeting, a group meeting, I talked to them, 279 00:16:42,680 --> 00:16:44,920 told them a little bit about myself. 280 00:16:44,920 --> 00:16:47,760 And then I said, I want to go out in the field with each one of you. 281 00:16:47,760 --> 00:16:48,760 And they looked at me. 282 00:16:48,760 --> 00:16:49,760 What? 283 00:16:49,760 --> 00:16:50,760 And I said, Yeah. 284 00:16:50,760 --> 00:16:52,720 I said, So let's get a schedule. 285 00:16:52,720 --> 00:16:55,720 And I want to go and just go out in the field with you. 286 00:16:55,720 --> 00:17:00,800 And so they had never had a supervisor say they'd do that. 287 00:17:00,800 --> 00:17:04,600 So I would, you know, I said, Okay, got my safety equipment inside of me. 288 00:17:04,600 --> 00:17:06,720 I had my heart hat and everything ready to go. 289 00:17:06,720 --> 00:17:07,720 And so I scheduled that. 290 00:17:07,720 --> 00:17:12,960 And I went out with each one of them and being able to sit in a car with somebody as they 291 00:17:12,960 --> 00:17:16,600 go around and do their job and talk to them. 292 00:17:16,600 --> 00:17:17,840 You get to know them. 293 00:17:17,840 --> 00:17:20,720 One, they'll talk to you about things. 294 00:17:20,720 --> 00:17:23,560 And then you get to learn about how they do their work. 295 00:17:23,560 --> 00:17:28,640 And you know, in initial stages, just going out and just having that interest. 296 00:17:28,640 --> 00:17:32,440 And they each one would say to me, we were shocked when you said that, that you were 297 00:17:32,440 --> 00:17:35,280 going to ride in the field with each one of us. 298 00:17:35,280 --> 00:17:36,640 They said, no one's ever done that. 299 00:17:36,640 --> 00:17:41,720 They would come in, have a bunch of things that they want to accomplish. 300 00:17:41,720 --> 00:17:46,920 And then we would always just, you know, kind of through passive, passive rest or resist. 301 00:17:46,920 --> 00:17:47,920 Right. 302 00:17:47,920 --> 00:17:50,240 So they said, you're the first person like to say, No, we're going to go, I'm going 303 00:17:50,240 --> 00:17:51,240 to ride with each one of you. 304 00:17:51,240 --> 00:17:52,240 And I would do that. 305 00:17:52,240 --> 00:17:54,400 I couldn't do it all the time, but I would go ride with them. 306 00:17:54,400 --> 00:17:56,720 And so to this day, I was keeping touch with them. 307 00:17:56,720 --> 00:17:57,720 They all retired. 308 00:17:57,720 --> 00:17:58,720 Wow. 309 00:17:58,720 --> 00:18:00,040 And yeah, we still keep in touch. 310 00:18:00,040 --> 00:18:09,000 Do you think your relationship with your husband gave you an insight to race and racism that 311 00:18:09,000 --> 00:18:11,880 gave you a wider angle lens on it? 312 00:18:11,880 --> 00:18:12,880 Yeah. 313 00:18:12,880 --> 00:18:17,160 You know, in its own way it did because he was white and I was black and it was, you 314 00:18:17,160 --> 00:18:23,320 know, different time, but he also gave me that human element. 315 00:18:23,320 --> 00:18:30,040 So the irony of it is I went back after I, since we started going out, I actually looked 316 00:18:30,040 --> 00:18:32,920 at his high school yearbook. 317 00:18:32,920 --> 00:18:34,560 And like I said, he grew up rural poor. 318 00:18:34,560 --> 00:18:35,560 I grew up urban poor. 319 00:18:35,560 --> 00:18:40,360 But when I looked at his high school yearbook, I think he was like in the student government. 320 00:18:40,360 --> 00:18:42,400 And everybody except him was black. 321 00:18:42,400 --> 00:18:43,400 Wow. 322 00:18:43,400 --> 00:18:44,480 And the student government. 323 00:18:44,480 --> 00:18:45,480 So he had. 324 00:18:45,480 --> 00:18:47,480 So he, you know, so he had been used to. 325 00:18:47,480 --> 00:18:48,480 He had made a decision. 326 00:18:48,480 --> 00:18:50,280 Yeah, he had been around folk. 327 00:18:50,280 --> 00:18:51,280 Now I don't know. 328 00:18:51,280 --> 00:18:52,760 I don't think he thought I'd married somebody. 329 00:18:52,760 --> 00:18:54,840 But it ended up that way. 330 00:18:54,840 --> 00:18:56,880 How did your daughters adapt to all of this? 331 00:18:56,880 --> 00:18:58,760 And what was it like raising them? 332 00:18:58,760 --> 00:19:02,400 So yeah, so, you know, so actually I have to correct you because my son would die, but 333 00:19:02,400 --> 00:19:04,600 I have one daughter, one son. 334 00:19:04,600 --> 00:19:07,040 But even though when he was little, everybody thought he was a girl. 335 00:19:07,040 --> 00:19:08,960 They would say, hey, she's pretty. 336 00:19:08,960 --> 00:19:11,240 And he'd say, no, I'm a boy. 337 00:19:11,240 --> 00:19:16,880 But, but both of them, it's funny. 338 00:19:16,880 --> 00:19:19,400 We grapple with whether they even have kids. 339 00:19:19,400 --> 00:19:21,680 We thought once we got married, it would be just the two of us. 340 00:19:21,680 --> 00:19:27,880 But once Tommy passed away, I thought that's a legacy really in a life for me. 341 00:19:27,880 --> 00:19:28,880 That was my definition. 342 00:19:28,880 --> 00:19:33,920 So, so I decided, so we had Sinclair first, my daughter, and Garrett. 343 00:19:33,920 --> 00:19:39,040 But, but as they grew up, we never talked about race because we figured they figured 344 00:19:39,040 --> 00:19:40,040 out, right? 345 00:19:40,040 --> 00:19:44,840 So when she was a little girl, she'd come home and she'd announced to us, I'm yellow. 346 00:19:44,840 --> 00:19:46,360 I'm yellow, mom. 347 00:19:46,360 --> 00:19:47,360 Okay. 348 00:19:47,360 --> 00:19:48,840 And so one day she comes home a few days. 349 00:19:48,840 --> 00:19:50,120 She's a pretty little girl. 350 00:19:50,120 --> 00:19:52,200 Well, she's pretty lady to me today too. 351 00:19:52,200 --> 00:19:59,880 But she said, mom, one day she says, you know, I've been thinking, she said, daddy, you're 352 00:19:59,880 --> 00:20:02,000 African and daddy's American. 353 00:20:02,000 --> 00:20:04,120 I said, what do you mean, honey? 354 00:20:04,120 --> 00:20:07,280 Like, we're both Americans, right? 355 00:20:07,280 --> 00:20:10,280 Because she was taking the African American and she was taking the peace, she had learned 356 00:20:10,280 --> 00:20:11,280 about Africa. 357 00:20:11,280 --> 00:20:14,480 So she's in her own little way, like kind of piecing it all together. 358 00:20:14,480 --> 00:20:17,000 But she'd say, but then she'd end up, I'm yellow. 359 00:20:17,000 --> 00:20:18,000 Okay. 360 00:20:18,000 --> 00:20:19,840 So when she got older, they figured it out, right? 361 00:20:19,840 --> 00:20:25,560 Because they'd see, you know, we'd have events at our home a lot, cookouts, whatever, everybody 362 00:20:25,560 --> 00:20:31,000 came, you know, white, black, you know, Hispanic, straight, gay, everybody was welcome. 363 00:20:31,000 --> 00:20:34,360 And so, so over time they figured it out. 364 00:20:34,360 --> 00:20:37,240 And, and then for my son, his, you know, he was my athletic. 365 00:20:37,240 --> 00:20:41,720 So, so they jokingly had said to each other, she kind of grew up as the white mills and 366 00:20:41,720 --> 00:20:46,320 he was the black mills because he was, you know, I mean, even though he, even he had 367 00:20:46,320 --> 00:20:49,560 a mixed group of friends too, but most predominantly African American because he played the sports 368 00:20:49,560 --> 00:20:50,560 and stuff. 369 00:20:50,560 --> 00:20:54,400 But, but they both, they live in their space. 370 00:20:54,400 --> 00:20:57,920 They know when they were kids, their dad was home with them, the three of them would go 371 00:20:57,920 --> 00:21:01,880 out and then I would come along, everybody would think that they were white because my 372 00:21:01,880 --> 00:21:03,240 kids are light-skinned. 373 00:21:03,240 --> 00:21:07,160 And then I would come along, people are shocked, like, this is your mother, you know. 374 00:21:07,160 --> 00:21:11,200 And now that Dave's gone, Garro to say to me, mom, when we're together, my daughter 375 00:21:11,200 --> 00:21:15,880 has a big afro, my son, he has pretty much an afro. 376 00:21:15,880 --> 00:21:17,480 And they think they're African Americans. 377 00:21:17,480 --> 00:21:19,000 So we just, they just roll. 378 00:21:19,000 --> 00:21:20,000 We just roll. 379 00:21:20,000 --> 00:21:21,000 Because you just roll. 380 00:21:21,000 --> 00:21:22,000 We just roll. 381 00:21:22,000 --> 00:21:23,000 It's fine. 382 00:21:23,000 --> 00:21:24,000 Right. 383 00:21:24,000 --> 00:21:26,440 You know, and they're good people with good character. 384 00:21:26,440 --> 00:21:28,600 And that was really what Dave and I wanted. 385 00:21:28,600 --> 00:21:31,840 I think your life is a testament to possibility. 386 00:21:31,840 --> 00:21:37,360 And I think it's an honor that you would share your story and your journey with us. 387 00:21:37,360 --> 00:21:41,280 And we wish you the very best as you continue on this journey forward. 388 00:21:41,280 --> 00:21:43,600 I think the title of the book is, Tommy's Girl. 389 00:21:43,600 --> 00:21:44,600 I don't know. 390 00:21:44,600 --> 00:21:45,600 Okay, all right, okay. 391 00:21:45,600 --> 00:21:47,520 I got a new title, but I appreciate that. 392 00:21:47,520 --> 00:21:48,680 Thank you so much for having me. 393 00:21:48,680 --> 00:21:51,560 But I think you represent the best of possibility. 394 00:21:51,560 --> 00:21:53,840 And thank you for being with us today. 395 00:21:53,840 --> 00:22:03,840 Thank you.