WEBVTT 00:00:04.019 --> 00:00:10.339 Yeah, welcome to the network Where faith meets 00:00:10.339 --> 00:00:17.210 purpose This is the James H. Network! The whole 00:00:17.210 --> 00:00:19.629 world knows We're walking by faith, watch the 00:00:19.629 --> 00:00:22.530 vision grow Real talk, real life, real stories 00:00:22.530 --> 00:00:25.629 unfold James H. Glover Network, breaking every 00:00:25.629 --> 00:00:28.329 mold We inspire, we empower, we motivate too 00:00:28.649 --> 00:00:30.989 bringing hope bringing truth every day coming 00:00:30.989 --> 00:00:33.369 through from the screen to your heart we're connecting 00:00:33.369 --> 00:00:36.090 the dots James H. Glover neck we're giving all 00:00:36.090 --> 00:00:38.869 that we got started with a vision that was reaching 00:00:38.869 --> 00:00:40.929 the nations building kingdom leaders through 00:00:40.929 --> 00:00:43.810 powerful conversations entrepreneurs dreamers 00:00:43.810 --> 00:00:46.450 preachers on the rise helping people see purpose 00:00:46.450 --> 00:00:49.369 through guys eyes every episode a message every 00:00:49.369 --> 00:00:52.329 guest has a story giving God the honor giving 00:00:52.329 --> 00:00:54.969 God the glory from the studio lights to the lives 00:00:54.969 --> 00:00:57.920 we impact We're changing the culture and we ain't 00:00:57.920 --> 00:01:02.390 looking back. What is up? What is up? What is 00:01:02.390 --> 00:01:05.670 up? Everyone, everyone, everyone, everyone. You 00:01:05.670 --> 00:01:09.090 all, you all, you all. I know this isn't your 00:01:09.090 --> 00:01:11.750 normal Tuesday night, so that y 'all used to 00:01:11.750 --> 00:01:14.689 seeing it from the network, but we're doing something 00:01:14.689 --> 00:01:18.469 different tonight. Tonight we just having a regular 00:01:18.469 --> 00:01:23.189 conversation and I figured who better to have 00:01:23.189 --> 00:01:26.849 a regular conversation with. The Margaret friend, 00:01:27.209 --> 00:01:33.489 my sis, my homie, miss Tweet Tweet y 'all. I 00:01:33.489 --> 00:01:37.629 got miss Tweet up in the building. Like y 'all, 00:01:37.689 --> 00:01:40.769 y 'all don't understand. Like I'm excited to 00:01:40.769 --> 00:01:45.280 have my sis up in here with me tonight. She will 00:01:45.280 --> 00:01:47.859 be back y 'all. I think she's having a little 00:01:47.859 --> 00:01:51.950 bit of technical difficulties on her end. All 00:01:51.950 --> 00:01:58.730 right, I see her. Hold on, there she is. Y 'all, 00:01:58.810 --> 00:02:01.909 I've got my girl Ms. Tweet Tweet up in the building. 00:02:03.010 --> 00:02:07.069 Y 'all already know what it is with us. When 00:02:07.069 --> 00:02:11.360 we get on the mic together, y 'all already know. 00:02:11.379 --> 00:02:15.340 It's a problem. It really is. Like literally. 00:02:16.219 --> 00:02:20.919 I text her at maybe six this morning. I'm like, 00:02:21.000 --> 00:02:23.020 yo, you trying to go live? I'm like, let's do 00:02:23.020 --> 00:02:29.180 it. What's the topic? That's right. This is why 00:02:29.180 --> 00:02:31.860 I see and I work so well together because it's 00:02:31.860 --> 00:02:33.979 like, there ain't no questions about it. It's 00:02:33.979 --> 00:02:37.479 like, let's run it. Let's go. Y 'all will probably 00:02:37.479 --> 00:02:43.110 play. But trust me, believe me, it's going up. 00:02:43.289 --> 00:02:46.270 It's up and it's stuck. When it comes to that, 00:02:46.569 --> 00:02:53.449 we just, for us, I can honestly say, what has 00:02:53.449 --> 00:02:56.189 it been about a month since we've been back? 00:02:56.900 --> 00:03:09.139 Yeah, probably better mom. Yeah Yeah, so y 'all 00:03:09.139 --> 00:03:12.340 let's get it. Let's get it. Let's get it. Tonight 00:03:12.340 --> 00:03:16.930 y 'all we got a powerful conversation. It is. 00:03:18.060 --> 00:03:29.560 It is. It is toxicity. because let's be honest, 00:03:30.020 --> 00:03:36.560 like everybody got that friend that is attracted 00:03:36.560 --> 00:03:45.080 to the toxic traits of others. Or they might, 00:03:45.580 --> 00:03:49.240 or maybe that friend is you. Maybe you have a 00:03:49.240 --> 00:03:52.639 problem where you are attracted to toxic traits. 00:03:53.259 --> 00:03:57.840 Like instead of running from toxicity, you are 00:03:57.840 --> 00:04:03.659 embracing it, you loving it. So when I say toxicity, 00:04:03.879 --> 00:04:08.469 what comes to mind to you? So when you said toxicity, 00:04:08.569 --> 00:04:10.530 the first thing you said when you said run from 00:04:10.530 --> 00:04:13.449 it, like I'm a believer that when you're dealing 00:04:13.449 --> 00:04:15.610 with a toxic situation, I'm always going to watch 00:04:15.610 --> 00:04:18.629 to see how you handle it because how you handle 00:04:18.629 --> 00:04:20.329 it is going to tell you a lot how you can handle 00:04:20.329 --> 00:04:24.860 me. You know what I mean? So when you say toxic, 00:04:25.199 --> 00:04:28.060 like let's talk about what toxicity means to 00:04:28.060 --> 00:04:31.810 us as far as what are some of the signs a person 00:04:31.810 --> 00:04:37.779 is toxic. For me if it's negative after negative 00:04:37.779 --> 00:04:41.990 after negative after negative Now anytime you 00:04:41.990 --> 00:04:43.649 dealing with somebody whether it be a friend 00:04:43.649 --> 00:04:46.569 or a relationship you want to you supposed to 00:04:46.569 --> 00:04:48.089 balance things out You supposed to have some 00:04:48.089 --> 00:04:51.850 good stuff going on and some not so good stuff 00:04:51.850 --> 00:04:54.610 going on But if it's like negativity after negativity 00:04:54.610 --> 00:04:56.990 like we can't be around each other and have and 00:04:56.990 --> 00:05:00.050 just enjoy each other's company without it being 00:05:00.050 --> 00:05:04.329 something negative then to me You might not be 00:05:04.329 --> 00:05:07.350 Severely toxic with there's something toxic about 00:05:07.350 --> 00:05:10.449 you because that means negativity follows you 00:05:10.449 --> 00:05:13.240 And for me if negativity follows you that means 00:05:13.240 --> 00:05:17.220 you choosing wrong You know what I mean? Like 00:05:17.220 --> 00:05:19.560 you can't just be toxic and negative by yourself 00:05:19.560 --> 00:05:22.720 That means that you're choosing the people that 00:05:22.720 --> 00:05:25.579 you're choosing are toxic like they they just 00:05:25.579 --> 00:05:28.019 got some issues and you know You may sometimes 00:05:28.019 --> 00:05:30.519 people like I'm gonna tell you the truth. I'm 00:05:30.519 --> 00:05:34.339 a believer and some people like in toxic relationships 00:05:36.839 --> 00:05:41.000 Like I remember years ago I dated a guy and He 00:05:41.829 --> 00:05:44.329 used to always tell me I'm too calm. Are you 00:05:44.329 --> 00:05:47.889 too calm? Like you just you don't turn up about 00:05:47.889 --> 00:05:51.009 nothing. I want to see you up. This is a biggie 00:05:51.009 --> 00:05:53.750 Don't ever and I hope anybody's watching don't 00:05:53.750 --> 00:05:56.810 ever tell me I want to see you mad Because what 00:05:56.810 --> 00:05:58.389 you're doing is you telling me that you're gonna 00:05:58.389 --> 00:06:01.410 put something in my way to get to see what you 00:06:01.410 --> 00:06:03.949 want That's like a remote when you turn on the 00:06:03.949 --> 00:06:06.779 TV channel you looking for that certain action 00:06:06.779 --> 00:06:10.860 show, drama, sci -fi. You're looking to be entertained. 00:06:12.360 --> 00:06:14.399 So, yeah, to me, that's toxicity right there. 00:06:16.079 --> 00:06:19.699 What's up? What about you? How do you see toxicity? 00:06:20.420 --> 00:06:24.439 For me, like, if when I see your number come 00:06:24.439 --> 00:06:27.360 across my phone or I see your name come across 00:06:27.360 --> 00:06:32.290 my phone, I got to think if I even want to answer. 00:06:34.149 --> 00:06:39.920 That is so true. That is so true. Like there 00:06:39.920 --> 00:06:44.170 is one where like, whenever I see that name, 00:06:45.829 --> 00:06:50.629 I'm thinking, do I really want to deal with this 00:06:50.629 --> 00:06:54.610 today? I've had a good day. Do I really want 00:06:54.610 --> 00:06:58.509 to deal with this negativity? Do I really want 00:06:58.509 --> 00:07:03.339 to deal with this nonsense today? And most of 00:07:03.339 --> 00:07:08.079 the time, the answer is no. But every once in 00:07:08.079 --> 00:07:11.100 a while, I'm like, you know what? Let me go on 00:07:11.100 --> 00:07:14.649 ahead. And within five minutes, I'm sitting here 00:07:14.649 --> 00:07:20.420 like, why did I even answer this phone? But let 00:07:20.420 --> 00:07:23.300 me tell, okay, so let me share with you one, 00:07:23.360 --> 00:07:25.480 like I said, I've told many people before I'm 00:07:25.480 --> 00:07:28.600 a fan of therapy. And so let me tell you what 00:07:28.600 --> 00:07:31.139 I have learned about toxicity and do it with 00:07:31.139 --> 00:07:33.620 toxic people. So sometimes you may have somebody 00:07:33.620 --> 00:07:37.519 in your life that's toxic and you cannot just 00:07:37.519 --> 00:07:39.620 choose whether you want to answer the phone or 00:07:39.620 --> 00:07:42.329 not. Choose whether you want to answer that text 00:07:42.329 --> 00:07:45.329 message or not, right? You just have to You have 00:07:45.329 --> 00:07:46.810 to communicate when you have to deal with them 00:07:46.810 --> 00:07:51.680 in some cases it could be a Baby daddy baby mama 00:07:51.680 --> 00:07:56.050 It could be a family member of some sort a close 00:07:56.050 --> 00:07:58.629 cousin that you know You got love for or whatever, 00:07:58.689 --> 00:08:01.529 but you know that they toxic Oh, what have you? 00:08:02.089 --> 00:08:05.209 So what I learned was to deal with toxic people 00:08:05.209 --> 00:08:11.319 in intervals giving myself a time period almost 00:08:11.319 --> 00:08:14.000 like, okay, I know this person is extremely toxic 00:08:14.000 --> 00:08:16.319 and whatever they have going on is going to pour 00:08:16.319 --> 00:08:20.199 into my life possibly long term or longer than 00:08:20.199 --> 00:08:23.899 I wanted to. So what I'm going to do is what 00:08:23.899 --> 00:08:25.399 I'm doing with this person is I'm going to kind 00:08:25.399 --> 00:08:30.769 of start a stopwatch. Meaning when I'm around 00:08:30.769 --> 00:08:32.509 this person, whether we talk on the phone, whether 00:08:32.509 --> 00:08:35.149 each other's presence, I'm going to start my 00:08:35.149 --> 00:08:39.399 little stopwatch. And maybe five, maybe 10, maybe 00:08:39.399 --> 00:08:42.019 15 minutes after that, it's time for me to exit 00:08:42.019 --> 00:08:47.120 stage left, which gives yourself the opportunity 00:08:47.120 --> 00:08:49.240 to, because I feel like when you're dealing with 00:08:49.240 --> 00:08:52.019 toxic people, if you run from everything, you're 00:08:52.019 --> 00:08:54.539 not learning how having, you're not learning 00:08:54.539 --> 00:08:58.340 coping techniques for life. But you may work 00:08:58.340 --> 00:09:00.059 someplace that have a toxic person. What you're 00:09:00.059 --> 00:09:02.440 going to do wrong from the job? You may go to 00:09:02.440 --> 00:09:04.000 a church, but it's a toxic person. Wouldn't I 00:09:04.000 --> 00:09:07.389 do a fine membership someplace else? I may have 00:09:07.389 --> 00:09:08.690 a family member that's toxic. What am I gonna 00:09:08.690 --> 00:09:10.330 do? Say, you know, my family member, you have 00:09:10.330 --> 00:09:11.549 to learn how to deal with these things because 00:09:11.549 --> 00:09:16.049 they build strength in you. So I say start that 00:09:16.049 --> 00:09:18.090 stopwatch. And I'm the kind of person, because 00:09:18.090 --> 00:09:21.190 you know, I'm pretty comical. So I like to laugh. 00:09:21.710 --> 00:09:25.110 I will literally walk in the door, start that 00:09:25.110 --> 00:09:31.149 phone conversation, and you go here, girl stand. 00:09:32.970 --> 00:09:37.870 That's my stopwatch. That means that I've entertained 00:09:37.870 --> 00:09:41.230 it. I have been here for you. And we still have 00:09:41.230 --> 00:09:43.049 the same relationship that we've been had but 00:09:43.049 --> 00:09:45.889 I have to put a stop to it because your toxicity 00:09:45.889 --> 00:09:50.570 is pouring into me Yeah, I like that so let me 00:09:50.570 --> 00:09:52.710 ask you so this person that you're talking about 00:09:52.710 --> 00:09:56.570 that is When they call you get the question when 00:09:56.570 --> 00:10:02.629 you answer phone is it male or female? So do 00:10:02.629 --> 00:10:06.389 you have any male? Toxic friends that you and 00:10:06.389 --> 00:10:07.990 how would you respond if it was a male? Is there 00:10:07.990 --> 00:10:09.769 a difference in how you respond if there was 00:10:09.769 --> 00:10:16.340 a male or female? No, I would respond the same 00:10:16.340 --> 00:10:21.240 way. I would respond the same way. I would debate 00:10:21.240 --> 00:10:27.450 on if I even want to answer the phone. Now for 00:10:27.450 --> 00:10:32.840 me, I will be honest. I'm at this point in my 00:10:32.840 --> 00:10:37.320 life where I'm like, you know what? If it ain't 00:10:37.320 --> 00:10:45.950 adding to my life, I don't need you. So it's 00:10:45.950 --> 00:10:53.309 like I might man bump it. Let me be real, but 00:10:53.309 --> 00:10:57.200 let me say it like this. I am 36, getting ready 00:10:57.200 --> 00:11:02.740 to be 37 in a couple of days. I am done coddling 00:11:02.740 --> 00:11:12.740 wrong people. I'm done. Okay. So, okay, we're 00:11:12.740 --> 00:11:13.820 going to take this, we're going to take this 00:11:13.820 --> 00:11:15.740 in the direction that you probably know a lot 00:11:15.740 --> 00:11:19.149 more about this than I do. However, so we know 00:11:19.149 --> 00:11:23.330 that in life we have purpose, right? And the 00:11:23.330 --> 00:11:24.889 reason I'm having this conversation is because 00:11:24.889 --> 00:11:26.710 you know that my mom is also a preacher. And 00:11:26.710 --> 00:11:29.129 one of the things that we talked about was coming 00:11:29.129 --> 00:11:32.409 into people's lives and being their helpmate, 00:11:33.169 --> 00:11:37.299 being their strength, being their source of goodness 00:11:37.299 --> 00:11:41.080 or anything in that category, right? So what 00:11:41.080 --> 00:11:43.779 do we do when we know that this is a part of 00:11:43.779 --> 00:11:45.559 our life? Because when people are called to do 00:11:45.559 --> 00:11:48.279 different things in their life, sometimes being 00:11:48.279 --> 00:11:50.899 the person that coddles, this is what I've learned. 00:11:51.850 --> 00:11:54.830 Sometimes being the person that coddles and cares 00:11:54.830 --> 00:11:59.190 and nurtures a person. Sometimes we have the 00:11:59.190 --> 00:12:04.139 short end of the stick, right? But God blesses 00:12:04.139 --> 00:12:08.720 us in so many other areas. So sometimes we have 00:12:08.720 --> 00:12:11.570 to just kind of go with it. You know, even the 00:12:11.570 --> 00:12:13.789 Bible says, you know, the Lord protects babies 00:12:13.789 --> 00:12:15.230 and fools. So when you get to the point where 00:12:15.230 --> 00:12:17.649 you start dumping out over this person, then 00:12:17.649 --> 00:12:20.029 yeah, you gotta be like, okay, you know what? 00:12:22.250 --> 00:12:25.090 Yeah, I've had enough of this, especially if 00:12:25.090 --> 00:12:28.759 it's repetitious. It starts to be repetitive, 00:12:29.000 --> 00:12:30.759 where you see the same stuff happening over and 00:12:30.759 --> 00:12:33.559 over again. It's like, okay, I'm experiencing 00:12:33.559 --> 00:12:38.690 this. I've seen this moving. Over and over again, 00:12:38.750 --> 00:12:40.070 I already can tell you what's going to happen. 00:12:40.549 --> 00:12:42.009 And I'm also going to be able to tell you what's 00:12:42.009 --> 00:12:43.870 going to happen. And the end result is going 00:12:43.870 --> 00:12:46.350 to be you going right back into the toxicity 00:12:46.350 --> 00:12:51.330 again. that brought you to me to have this conversation 00:12:51.330 --> 00:12:53.429 whether it be a text message, a phone call, you 00:12:53.429 --> 00:12:56.629 know? So I get that. I just think that everybody 00:12:56.629 --> 00:12:59.509 should be allowed their opportunity to be cuddled 00:12:59.509 --> 00:13:04.899 because everybody has a hand then. Now, let me 00:13:04.899 --> 00:13:08.639 be real. When I say cuddling grown folks, what 00:13:08.639 --> 00:13:13.429 I mean is I'm a beer boy. But when you are making 00:13:13.429 --> 00:13:17.809 the, when you keep doing the same thing. but 00:13:17.809 --> 00:13:22.039 you are expecting a different result. And when 00:13:22.039 --> 00:13:26.210 it gets to the point to where I gotta bail you 00:13:26.210 --> 00:13:31.620 out of the situations because you sitting there 00:13:31.620 --> 00:13:39.320 making the same mistakes. No, like there comes 00:13:39.320 --> 00:13:42.720 a point to where like I care for you. I'm there 00:13:42.720 --> 00:13:50.700 for you, but the bank account is closed. Well, 00:13:50.899 --> 00:13:54.039 I'm gonna tell you what I have experienced. I 00:13:54.039 --> 00:13:55.259 can't say I've learned cause I don't know whether 00:13:55.259 --> 00:13:57.860 it's right or wrong, but. I feel like people 00:13:57.860 --> 00:14:02.399 like that are manipulators. Like, let me give 00:14:02.399 --> 00:14:03.960 you an example. When you think of, you ever heard 00:14:03.960 --> 00:14:06.559 of a hypochondriac? A hypochondriac is a person 00:14:06.559 --> 00:14:09.539 that is always sick. They always have an illness. 00:14:09.799 --> 00:14:11.840 They always fall apart. They always got this 00:14:11.840 --> 00:14:14.799 going on. They need help in this area. They are 00:14:15.000 --> 00:14:18.659 people that, I guess they're, we are feeling 00:14:18.659 --> 00:14:21.620 loved is through illness, sickness, whether it 00:14:21.620 --> 00:14:25.779 be realness or not. I don't know. Right? So what 00:14:25.779 --> 00:14:28.179 happens is that person learns how to manipulate 00:14:28.179 --> 00:14:32.519 their form of attention from you. And some people 00:14:32.519 --> 00:14:35.340 like negative or positive attention, long as 00:14:35.340 --> 00:14:37.899 they're grabbing that from you, that is toxic 00:14:37.899 --> 00:14:40.840 because now you're pulling somebody else out 00:14:40.840 --> 00:14:42.539 of their life situation to get the attention 00:14:42.539 --> 00:14:46.000 you need. So that's what I think is as Christians 00:14:46.000 --> 00:14:50.299 and even as people, we have to know how to put 00:14:50.299 --> 00:14:52.679 the pause on our empathy and how we care for 00:14:52.679 --> 00:14:55.120 others. And that's why when you said, you know, 00:14:55.419 --> 00:14:58.419 Nope, the bank is closed. Nope, I'm good. Sometimes 00:14:58.419 --> 00:15:00.600 you have to learn the patterns of a person when 00:15:00.600 --> 00:15:02.200 you see that pattern, you're like, you know what? 00:15:04.090 --> 00:15:07.350 Yeah. Okay, this is the pattern that person, 00:15:07.409 --> 00:15:09.370 this is always what they're going to do. And 00:15:09.370 --> 00:15:11.809 I can't keep draining myself. And when you feel 00:15:11.809 --> 00:15:17.639 drained, it starts to be obvious. Like you have 00:15:17.639 --> 00:15:22.039 mental exhaustion. You are, you know, sometimes 00:15:22.039 --> 00:15:25.919 you're mind, you can't focus on things. Um, it 00:15:25.919 --> 00:15:28.320 can also make you depressed if you are too empathetic 00:15:28.320 --> 00:15:31.299 and you care too much You pour too much this 00:15:31.299 --> 00:15:32.799 one other person you can't even focus on your 00:15:32.799 --> 00:15:34.639 own stuff because you're like that. I hope they 00:15:34.639 --> 00:15:37.970 all right. Oh You know, they're good, you know, 00:15:37.970 --> 00:15:39.950 and I think there's a big difference between 00:15:39.950 --> 00:15:44.850 love and empathy I think so many people forget 00:15:44.850 --> 00:15:47.769 that so many people so many people forget that 00:15:47.769 --> 00:15:51.950 you know when you're loving a person and empathizing 00:15:51.950 --> 00:15:54.210 with a person empathy is also just a being able 00:15:54.210 --> 00:15:57.179 to understand what they're feeling. When you 00:15:57.179 --> 00:15:59.200 love a person and you want a person to be okay, 00:15:59.460 --> 00:16:04.629 truly okay, truly be good, you might hear a little 00:16:04.629 --> 00:16:08.159 bit more, but it feels good because that's love. 00:16:08.960 --> 00:16:12.340 Empathy is like, oh, Jesus, I'm just tired of 00:16:12.340 --> 00:16:19.590 this, you know? So it's different. Now let's 00:16:19.590 --> 00:16:25.990 be real, there is some TV shows. that we said 00:16:25.990 --> 00:16:31.269 their relationships was goals, couples goals. 00:16:32.409 --> 00:16:35.929 And if we're really honest with ourselves, it 00:16:35.929 --> 00:16:39.990 was toxic. Okay. So like, which ones? I'm interested 00:16:39.990 --> 00:16:42.509 in this one. This is interesting. So I'm going 00:16:42.509 --> 00:16:44.289 to give you, I'm going to give you an example. 00:16:46.580 --> 00:16:49.240 You tell me if you think it's toxic or not, and 00:16:49.240 --> 00:16:51.620 I'll tell you the same thing. And then we got 00:16:51.620 --> 00:16:55.039 to give a reason why. Okay. I'm going to go with, 00:16:55.950 --> 00:17:00.559 so now like, Monica and Q from Love and Basketball. 00:17:01.549 --> 00:17:07.190 Toxic or no? Okay, so my memory becomes that 00:17:07.190 --> 00:17:09.829 far back. I don't know if I'm checking to use 00:17:09.829 --> 00:17:11.730 this or not. I know Sonali that she's beautiful. 00:17:15.039 --> 00:17:17.880 Quincy. I don't think they, I don't think that 00:17:17.880 --> 00:17:21.519 was toxic. I think that was love. It was just, 00:17:21.980 --> 00:17:25.059 to me it was just immature love. There's a different, 00:17:25.200 --> 00:17:27.240 because come on now. Let's think back to those 00:17:27.240 --> 00:17:32.720 old school relationships. Those old school relationships 00:17:32.720 --> 00:17:37.380 that we had, all of them were toxic. I'll give 00:17:37.380 --> 00:17:40.740 you that. I'm gonna tell you a story. And I know 00:17:40.740 --> 00:17:42.259 y 'all gonna judge me, but it was back in the 00:17:42.259 --> 00:17:44.039 day. Y 'all got stories from back in the day 00:17:44.039 --> 00:17:47.359 too. I remember dating a guy and I think he went 00:17:47.359 --> 00:17:50.059 to a club one night and we had already discussed 00:17:50.059 --> 00:17:51.779 in a relationship that we weren't gonna be doing 00:17:51.779 --> 00:17:54.259 that kind of stuff anymore. We were young, very 00:17:54.259 --> 00:17:57.789 young, probably in our early 20s. And he went 00:17:57.789 --> 00:18:00.150 to the club and he left the club and he used 00:18:00.150 --> 00:18:01.849 to work where he used to work at he can go like 00:18:01.849 --> 00:18:03.289 three four o 'clock in the morning So he went 00:18:03.289 --> 00:18:06.819 to work after the club Me and my girls we got 00:18:06.819 --> 00:18:09.099 in the car and we went in and this is childish, 00:18:09.099 --> 00:18:13.009 but I did it We toilet papered his whole car 00:18:13.650 --> 00:18:19.609 toilet papered his own car and what we did was 00:18:19.609 --> 00:18:22.740 This is probably what makes it bad. We took Elmer's 00:18:22.740 --> 00:18:28.000 glue Elmo's glue and he was actually, he worked 00:18:28.000 --> 00:18:30.940 at like, like, like something like a group home 00:18:30.940 --> 00:18:32.880 or something like that or whatever. But he had 00:18:32.880 --> 00:18:34.900 parked his vehicle and we took Elmo's glue, you 00:18:34.900 --> 00:18:38.059 know, the old, the old school white glue, you 00:18:38.059 --> 00:18:39.460 know what you had to do was kind of rub it together 00:18:39.460 --> 00:18:43.019 on your fingers and it was no longer glue. It 00:18:43.019 --> 00:18:47.430 was like, I don't know, skin or something. So 00:18:47.430 --> 00:18:49.269 we took, we put Elmo's glue all over his car 00:18:49.269 --> 00:18:50.710 and we took toilet paper and we went around. 00:18:50.829 --> 00:18:52.230 I mean, my, and, you know, when I was in New 00:18:52.230 --> 00:18:54.930 York, I had some riders, some real riders. And 00:18:54.930 --> 00:18:56.730 we went and took toilet paper for toilet paper. 00:18:57.049 --> 00:19:00.130 So the toilet paper was sticky to the glue to 00:19:00.130 --> 00:19:04.839 his car. Y 'all petty for that. Y 'all petty. 00:19:05.180 --> 00:19:08.140 We was extremely petty. And now that I think 00:19:08.140 --> 00:19:11.160 back, and it's funny because he and I are still 00:19:11.160 --> 00:19:13.880 friends today. And he laughed at it. And you 00:19:13.880 --> 00:19:15.839 know what he actually said? He said, I would 00:19:15.839 --> 00:19:17.880 prefer to have a female that was that kind of 00:19:17.880 --> 00:19:20.400 petty than serious kind of petty. And that's 00:19:20.400 --> 00:19:22.220 what we did. And the next morning when he got 00:19:22.220 --> 00:19:25.349 up to work, he came out to see his car. He sent 00:19:25.349 --> 00:19:28.569 text messages. What are you I had to go to the 00:19:28.569 --> 00:19:30.549 car wash two or three times. They had to put 00:19:30.549 --> 00:19:37.829 it on hot water to get But the thing is I was 00:19:37.829 --> 00:19:40.470 upset with him, but I did not want to hurt him 00:19:40.880 --> 00:19:45.039 I just wanted him to feel it. You know what I 00:19:45.039 --> 00:19:46.859 mean? And like I said, y 'all know comedy is 00:19:46.859 --> 00:19:50.109 my thing. So Yeah, I want him to feel something 00:19:50.109 --> 00:19:53.750 because he was he was into race cars And and 00:19:53.750 --> 00:19:56.170 his car the car he drove that day was really 00:19:56.170 --> 00:20:04.450 like souped up. It was like And um, yeah, and 00:20:04.450 --> 00:20:06.930 honestly, I think that might have been the only 00:20:06.930 --> 00:20:12.269 kind of tragic Not tragic but kind of serious 00:20:12.269 --> 00:20:16.269 thing that I had done and um It was funny because 00:20:16.269 --> 00:20:19.250 He was like you are crazy. Like who do you think 00:20:19.250 --> 00:20:21.089 of that? And I was like listen the dollar so 00:20:21.089 --> 00:20:25.279 it was late The dollar store was open. All we 00:20:25.279 --> 00:20:27.019 can get was some Elmer's glue. I went ahead. 00:20:27.319 --> 00:20:30.779 I knew that his car would not be damaged completely, 00:20:30.920 --> 00:20:32.460 but I knew it was going to take him some time 00:20:32.460 --> 00:20:35.400 and get that Elmer's glue to come off. And so 00:20:35.400 --> 00:20:37.339 he told me with the car wash, they had to put 00:20:37.339 --> 00:20:41.000 it on hot so that the glue would kind of rinse 00:20:41.000 --> 00:20:43.960 off. And it was, it was so for we were young, 00:20:44.559 --> 00:20:46.579 you know, and he had did things to me when I 00:20:46.579 --> 00:20:49.630 didn't do. what I said I was gonna do and stuff 00:20:49.630 --> 00:20:51.569 but we had this small petty things and I think 00:20:51.569 --> 00:20:54.009 those things at that age is more acceptable but 00:20:54.009 --> 00:20:58.529 when you grown you got limits on stuff like I'm 00:20:58.529 --> 00:21:00.529 not trying to hinder your life I'm not trying 00:21:00.529 --> 00:21:02.609 to hinder your livelihood I'm not trying to hinder 00:21:02.609 --> 00:21:04.849 your family your friends like I'm like like if 00:21:04.849 --> 00:21:06.750 I gotta do all that then this ain't gonna work 00:21:07.509 --> 00:21:11.329 I would agree with that you know but back to 00:21:11.329 --> 00:21:12.930 Sinai life in the queue I think it was that was 00:21:12.930 --> 00:21:18.059 just immature love uh see I think I was toxic 00:21:18.059 --> 00:21:26.259 a little bit a little bit because I'm going to 00:21:27.349 --> 00:21:30.799 go all the way down first off when they first 00:21:30.799 --> 00:21:35.710 met she beats him in basketball is beating him 00:21:35.710 --> 00:21:40.740 in basketball he pushes her down and gives her 00:21:40.740 --> 00:21:47.630 a big scrape on her job okay toxic number two 00:21:47.920 --> 00:21:53.230 then he apologizes then he apologizes asked her 00:21:53.230 --> 00:21:55.910 to be his girlfriend. And because he didn't want 00:21:55.910 --> 00:21:59.950 to get on his bicycle to go to school, he pushes 00:21:59.950 --> 00:22:06.059 her down again. Toxic. Then they get to college. 00:22:07.369 --> 00:22:11.690 They get to college. And even in high school, 00:22:12.009 --> 00:22:15.549 he was toxic, but it wasn't that bad. College. 00:22:16.170 --> 00:22:21.880 Get to college. He finds out that his dad have 00:22:21.880 --> 00:22:24.660 been doing what he was doing on it behind his 00:22:24.660 --> 00:22:31.019 mama's back. Monica tells him, look, I can, we 00:22:31.019 --> 00:22:33.200 can go back to the womb and have the conversation, 00:22:33.220 --> 00:22:36.759 but I can't be outside having this conversation 00:22:36.759 --> 00:22:41.829 because I got coffee for a basketball. He gets 00:22:41.829 --> 00:22:44.609 mad because he can't do what he wants to do right 00:22:44.609 --> 00:22:50.529 now and cuts her off. Then she finds out from 00:22:50.529 --> 00:22:53.569 somebody else. that he got a whole nother woman 00:22:53.569 --> 00:23:01.009 that he dealing with. Toxic. Then finally, finally 00:23:01.009 --> 00:23:04.069 they get back together. Finally, she comes back 00:23:04.069 --> 00:23:07.700 from playing ball overseas. Comes to see him. 00:23:08.319 --> 00:23:12.700 He is engaged to be married. C -Sellers is him 00:23:12.700 --> 00:23:16.750 to play basketball for in his heart. They play 00:23:16.750 --> 00:23:23.390 the game. Then he beats it. While he's fouling 00:23:23.390 --> 00:23:26.150 the crap out of her, pushing her down, doing 00:23:26.150 --> 00:23:29.940 all this stuff. After he wins, he's going to 00:23:29.940 --> 00:23:35.859 look back and say double or nothing. Toxic. OK, 00:23:35.920 --> 00:23:37.960 but let me tell you something about some of these 00:23:37.960 --> 00:23:40.720 things that I realized throughout this talk since 00:23:40.720 --> 00:23:45.750 he number one, when she went back to him after 00:23:45.750 --> 00:23:47.809 he had pushed her down a few times and all this 00:23:47.809 --> 00:23:51.380 other stuff, somewhere in there was enjoyed. 00:23:53.480 --> 00:23:57.039 Okay, because how many times is somebody going 00:23:57.039 --> 00:24:00.700 to show toxicity to you until you say, I'm really 00:24:00.700 --> 00:24:05.009 done with the toxicity. How many times? Then 00:24:05.009 --> 00:24:08.450 when they actually went to go play basketball, 00:24:08.849 --> 00:24:10.950 she entertained it. They were in the same proximity 00:24:10.950 --> 00:24:15.049 together. They were in the same environment together. 00:24:15.309 --> 00:24:18.299 You know what that meant? They chose, communicated 00:24:18.299 --> 00:24:19.940 and said, okay, this is where we're going to 00:24:19.940 --> 00:24:21.799 meet. This is how we're going to do it. You're 00:24:21.799 --> 00:24:25.910 still entertaining it. I agree with that. You 00:24:25.910 --> 00:24:27.730 see what I'm saying, wouldn't be a movie if not 00:24:27.730 --> 00:24:31.609 for him. Uh huh. She accidentally sounded stale. 00:24:33.089 --> 00:24:35.650 Right. So, okay. And that's the key. And this 00:24:35.650 --> 00:24:37.349 is, you as a man, these are the things that y 00:24:37.349 --> 00:24:39.809 'all need to pay attention to. Y 'all are always 00:24:39.809 --> 00:24:42.490 talking about a woman is a red flag. It's a red 00:24:42.490 --> 00:24:46.410 flag. Red flag here. Red flag on the court. All 00:24:46.410 --> 00:24:50.829 the time. This female obviously showed tech shaped 00:24:50.829 --> 00:24:54.380 traits of being toxic. And then she comes back 00:24:54.380 --> 00:24:57.920 with a challenge. Okay. Well, guess what? A person 00:24:57.920 --> 00:25:00.400 that is looking for a challenge, looking for 00:25:00.400 --> 00:25:05.000 a thrill, looking for a little excitement, toxicity. 00:25:05.420 --> 00:25:07.640 And that's why he kept doing what he was doing 00:25:07.640 --> 00:25:10.240 to her because it was not pushing her away. It 00:25:10.240 --> 00:25:14.369 was keeping her around. I'll give you that. All 00:25:14.369 --> 00:25:17.349 right. Yeah, like, yeah. All right. All right. 00:25:17.490 --> 00:25:19.049 So I'm gonna give you another one. I'm gonna 00:25:19.049 --> 00:25:24.130 give you another one. All right. Martin and Zina. 00:25:24.430 --> 00:25:27.720 toxic are now. I don't think they were toxic. 00:25:28.160 --> 00:25:31.380 I think that was love. Because if you pay attention, 00:25:32.160 --> 00:25:36.460 every there was no episode where Martin would 00:25:36.460 --> 00:25:40.019 hit Gina. Just like you said, said I lathe in 00:25:40.019 --> 00:25:42.619 the queue, push to the ground. There wasn't anything 00:25:42.619 --> 00:25:45.920 that was detrimental to the others. And when 00:25:45.920 --> 00:25:49.240 Martin knew that he was doing something wrong, 00:25:49.579 --> 00:25:52.079 and Gina was right, what did he do? He apologized. 00:26:01.109 --> 00:26:04.190 So let's think about what we were taught and 00:26:04.190 --> 00:26:06.150 I know as a woman it's gonna be a difficult thing 00:26:06.150 --> 00:26:08.950 because a lot of men don't realize it but the 00:26:08.950 --> 00:26:15.549 reality of it is is us women okay mature faster 00:26:15.549 --> 00:26:20.269 than men so a lot of times sometimes what happens 00:26:20.269 --> 00:26:23.029 is that woman is speaking to him for his well 00:26:23.029 --> 00:26:26.500 -being She may be saying, for example, Gina, 00:26:26.799 --> 00:26:29.339 Santa Martin. Martin, now, why did you put that 00:26:29.339 --> 00:26:31.019 in there? Now, you know, if you put that part 00:26:31.019 --> 00:26:33.200 in there, that part can't go in. What if it caused 00:26:33.200 --> 00:26:36.269 a fire, blah, blah, blah, right? He like, you 00:26:36.269 --> 00:26:40.609 remember how he used to do, aw, Gina. You know 00:26:40.609 --> 00:26:42.970 what I mean? Like, so. Like, ain't nothing gonna 00:26:42.970 --> 00:26:46.910 happen. Exactly. But he may have been getting 00:26:46.910 --> 00:26:51.079 frustrated with her. Number one, it didn't get 00:26:51.079 --> 00:26:53.720 out of hand. And number two, she was speaking 00:26:53.720 --> 00:26:56.900 to him something for his well -being. And sometimes 00:26:56.900 --> 00:26:58.480 when a person is saying something to you that 00:26:58.480 --> 00:27:01.380 you necessarily do not want to hear, that's how 00:27:01.380 --> 00:27:03.779 it's going to come across. Like this person is 00:27:03.779 --> 00:27:06.599 toxic. This person is problematic. This person 00:27:06.599 --> 00:27:08.720 is annoying. This person is getting on my nerves, 00:27:08.940 --> 00:27:11.680 all those things. But sometimes this person is 00:27:11.680 --> 00:27:14.690 speaking to you about your own well -being. And 00:27:14.690 --> 00:27:17.859 then, Us women, we mature a little bit faster, 00:27:17.940 --> 00:27:22.539 but men are masculine and often time protectors. 00:27:22.799 --> 00:27:25.160 They don't want to hear from a woman that's telling 00:27:25.160 --> 00:27:28.299 them what to do, how to do it, when to do it. 00:27:29.200 --> 00:27:31.819 But as a male, sometimes you have to look deeper 00:27:31.819 --> 00:27:35.119 in it and take the female anatomy out of it, 00:27:35.619 --> 00:27:37.700 and take the fact that females like to be in 00:27:37.700 --> 00:27:40.240 control, take all those things out of it and 00:27:40.240 --> 00:27:42.460 actually listen to what is being instructed, 00:27:42.819 --> 00:27:46.039 what is being said. You see what I'm saying? 00:27:46.259 --> 00:27:49.569 So I think that Gina and Martin was loved. Because 00:27:49.569 --> 00:27:52.829 everything that they did was looking out for 00:27:52.829 --> 00:27:56.170 each other. You know, Martin never put his hand 00:27:56.170 --> 00:27:58.329 up and was like, you know what? I'm gonna done 00:27:58.329 --> 00:28:00.990 her off. You know, it was never anything like 00:28:00.990 --> 00:28:03.710 that. So I think that was that was love. And 00:28:03.710 --> 00:28:05.430 they were adults. They weren't, it wasn't like, 00:28:05.529 --> 00:28:07.769 uh, so not latent and cute. They were young. 00:28:08.190 --> 00:28:10.750 Martin and Gina was grown, grown, grown. So, 00:28:11.150 --> 00:28:14.049 yeah. I don't agree with that. Okay. Okay, I'll 00:28:14.049 --> 00:28:19.130 give it. All right. Now, I would agree with that 00:28:19.130 --> 00:28:23.779 one. Now, here we go. I got two more. And these 00:28:23.779 --> 00:28:34.119 next two, hmm, first one, Professor Ogreby and, 00:28:35.599 --> 00:28:42.289 what was her name? Ms. Parker. Okay, what show 00:28:42.289 --> 00:28:51.720 is this now? The Parkers. Oh, okay. I don't know. 00:28:51.779 --> 00:28:55.119 That's a good one. That is really a good one. 00:28:55.630 --> 00:28:59.009 I think that, okay, so we're going to talk deep, 00:28:59.210 --> 00:29:03.740 deep, deep, deep, right? So to me, Professor 00:29:03.740 --> 00:29:06.500 Ogilby and Ms. Parker were back in the day with 00:29:06.500 --> 00:29:09.920 the example of the plus size woman. That's a 00:29:09.920 --> 00:29:13.799 great example of the not modern day, the old 00:29:13.799 --> 00:29:17.779 school plus size woman. So back in the day, the 00:29:17.779 --> 00:29:21.460 plus size woman was not the woman that was considered 00:29:21.460 --> 00:29:26.440 beautiful, was considered for a more modern day 00:29:26.440 --> 00:29:30.640 term voluptuous, attractive, just like all those 00:29:30.640 --> 00:29:35.900 things. So Ms. Parker was trying to get her a 00:29:35.900 --> 00:29:40.609 man and she felt like if she over poured herself 00:29:40.609 --> 00:29:45.579 on him, he would then like her. So my answer 00:29:45.579 --> 00:29:51.119 to that would be Ms. Parker was toxic because 00:29:52.240 --> 00:29:54.460 she didn't have the love for herself that she 00:29:54.460 --> 00:29:58.400 needed to. projected out to the world to receive 00:29:58.400 --> 00:30:02.019 somebody that would really love her. She was 00:30:02.019 --> 00:30:04.859 all over Professor Ogilby and he would just be 00:30:04.859 --> 00:30:10.099 like, get off, get off, fly away. And she poured 00:30:10.099 --> 00:30:12.559 herself, and that's a reality. I think back in 00:30:12.559 --> 00:30:16.140 the days, that's how it was. Now days, it's a 00:30:16.140 --> 00:30:19.859 whole another ball game. But back in the day, 00:30:20.019 --> 00:30:24.430 it was that plus size woman that wasn't getting 00:30:24.430 --> 00:30:27.000 the attention, wasn't getting the love. than 00:30:27.000 --> 00:30:30.460 she desired from a man. So she would overpull 00:30:30.460 --> 00:30:34.059 herself onto him with hopes that one day he would 00:30:34.059 --> 00:30:38.109 come around. And I think that, you know, I think 00:30:38.109 --> 00:30:39.549 it's a great example, but I don't think it was 00:30:39.549 --> 00:30:41.329 a toxic relationship because I don't even think 00:30:41.329 --> 00:30:44.009 it was a relationship. But I think that she was 00:30:44.009 --> 00:30:46.029 toxic. And when I say toxic, I'm not saying toxic 00:30:46.029 --> 00:30:48.950 as far as, to me, toxic would even be the right 00:30:48.950 --> 00:30:52.609 word because toxic meat is very strong. To me, 00:30:52.650 --> 00:30:56.109 it's a very strong word to use. I wouldn't believe 00:30:56.109 --> 00:30:59.910 that. Yes, I would think that she heard she has 00:30:59.910 --> 00:31:02.490 some serious self -esteem issues that she was 00:31:02.529 --> 00:31:06.950 dealing with that Probably would need to be addressed 00:31:06.950 --> 00:31:10.150 But now you know miss Parker nowadays Monique 00:31:10.150 --> 00:31:15.700 she is Beautiful and you know, she's doing her 00:31:15.700 --> 00:31:25.190 thing. So that's a great example Now last one 00:31:26.279 --> 00:31:34.839 here we go the way and Whitley, a different world. 00:31:37.140 --> 00:31:42.079 Okay, so did you see the movie? The new series? 00:31:42.559 --> 00:31:49.029 Yes. I'm watching it. Okay, so I saw it, it was 00:31:49.029 --> 00:31:52.730 wonderful because they took the old school version 00:31:52.730 --> 00:31:54.970 of a different world and turned it into a new 00:31:54.970 --> 00:31:57.829 school version of a different world, which there 00:31:57.829 --> 00:32:01.559 was a lot of education in it. There was a lot 00:32:01.559 --> 00:32:06.619 of education about racism. about the things that 00:32:06.619 --> 00:32:10.940 happened on college campuses, about being strong. 00:32:11.339 --> 00:32:17.430 It was great. Now, as far as DeWayne and Whitley, 00:32:19.339 --> 00:32:21.799 I don't think they're, okay, this is what I didn't 00:32:21.799 --> 00:32:23.759 like. She's another example, almost like Ms. 00:32:23.839 --> 00:32:26.059 Parker. I think that they had a toxic relationship 00:32:26.059 --> 00:32:28.579 back then. The new version of the movie is love, 00:32:29.490 --> 00:32:34.140 but back then I think it was toxic because... 00:32:34.250 --> 00:32:38.690 Widley had a very dominant personality over Dwayne. 00:32:39.970 --> 00:32:44.410 You know, she kind of was, she would kind of 00:32:44.410 --> 00:32:48.269 whistle her. She would make him talk down on 00:32:48.269 --> 00:32:51.700 him. And yeah, I don't think she really respected 00:32:51.700 --> 00:32:55.539 him, but they were young in college. So when 00:32:55.539 --> 00:32:57.599 you see the new episode, you'll see what it love 00:32:57.599 --> 00:33:02.430 is at. Yeah. And like, I see it now. Like, as 00:33:02.430 --> 00:33:05.410 I watch the new episodes, like, I can see, like, 00:33:06.329 --> 00:33:09.589 good love. But if you just go by the old ones, 00:33:10.490 --> 00:33:15.710 they toxic. Yeah, I think that probably were 00:33:15.710 --> 00:33:18.069 both. Because I think, if I remember correctly, 00:33:18.329 --> 00:33:21.170 like, Dwayne was very, like, what, like a ladies 00:33:21.170 --> 00:33:32.200 man. Not really. He was nerdy. Okay. Okay, yeah, 00:33:32.220 --> 00:33:36.299 I don't know I think that um I think I don't 00:33:36.299 --> 00:33:38.359 know I think I think she was more because I remember 00:33:38.359 --> 00:33:43.140 her saying to wine Yes, it was always like she 00:33:43.140 --> 00:33:49.299 was kind of trying to put him down Yeah, like 00:33:49.299 --> 00:33:52.279 she that she was very bougie which listen that 00:33:52.279 --> 00:33:55.259 word bougie I use it very loosely because oftentimes 00:33:55.259 --> 00:33:57.960 this was somebody else to see in you as not who 00:33:57.960 --> 00:34:02.970 you are um But I think that she was very toxic. 00:34:03.329 --> 00:34:05.069 But like I said, once you see the new version 00:34:05.069 --> 00:34:08.650 of the movie, it's a lot of love. And people 00:34:08.650 --> 00:34:10.829 always say opposites attract and they work out 00:34:10.829 --> 00:34:16.179 well. So because they were not alike, that maybe 00:34:16.179 --> 00:34:18.000 would have attracted them both to each other. 00:34:20.139 --> 00:34:23.699 I can agree with that. Yeah. I'm thinking that 00:34:23.699 --> 00:34:26.039 maybe that's pretty much, you know, it's like, 00:34:26.059 --> 00:34:28.559 okay, we're not alike. She's this way and I'm 00:34:28.559 --> 00:34:30.219 this way. We're going to accept that and then 00:34:30.219 --> 00:34:34.170 work together. Yeah, I would agree with that. 00:34:34.840 --> 00:34:40.019 So I last very last one that I got for you. All 00:34:40.019 --> 00:34:46.480 right. Let me think of it. Steve Urkel and Laura 00:34:46.480 --> 00:34:50.289 Winslow. Now, eventually Steve got his woman. 00:34:52.599 --> 00:34:56.559 But would you say it was toxic? I would say yeah. 00:34:57.570 --> 00:35:02.420 I would say toxic. Yeah, I would say it was toxic 00:35:02.420 --> 00:35:06.429 because it was always Erkel was like just doing 00:35:06.429 --> 00:35:10.050 too much. You know, I remember him dancing and 00:35:10.050 --> 00:35:14.309 oh Laura, you know that kind of thing. I would 00:35:14.309 --> 00:35:17.409 say that's talk that's that's probably toxic 00:35:17.409 --> 00:35:21.469 because I don't know were they ever together 00:35:21.530 --> 00:35:24.409 or it was just like a cat and mouse type of thing. 00:35:24.750 --> 00:35:28.309 They finally got engaged towards the end. We'll 00:35:28.309 --> 00:35:30.630 see then maybe it's not so toxic. Some people 00:35:30.630 --> 00:35:35.329 like to be chased. And oftentimes we think that 00:35:35.329 --> 00:35:38.989 it's just the woman but sometimes it's the man 00:35:38.989 --> 00:35:41.789 Like it could be either or some people like to 00:35:41.789 --> 00:35:45.519 be chased and then some people don't but if they 00:35:45.519 --> 00:35:48.460 eventually got engaged and it wasn't so harmful 00:35:48.460 --> 00:35:51.260 it wasn't like a harmful thing was just like 00:35:51.260 --> 00:35:55.699 less Another word for it would be another idea 00:35:55.699 --> 00:36:01.210 for would be let me make sure that I'm sure Am 00:36:01.210 --> 00:36:03.699 I really what you want? You know that kind of 00:36:03.699 --> 00:36:07.260 thing so I wouldn't say that they're toxic then 00:36:07.260 --> 00:36:12.519 I would say that they just You know you know 00:36:12.780 --> 00:36:15.780 that goes back to remind the term, you know, 00:36:15.800 --> 00:36:18.260 you always hear people saying It's not what you 00:36:18.260 --> 00:36:19.900 need. It's not what you want. That's what you 00:36:19.900 --> 00:36:26.820 need Mm -hmm Right whereas we may want this thing 00:36:26.820 --> 00:36:32.500 over here, but we need this thing over here. 00:36:33.360 --> 00:36:39.639 I mean like So yeah, so maybe Laura didn't see 00:36:39.639 --> 00:36:42.360 Erkel as being the person that she needed because, 00:36:42.860 --> 00:36:46.039 you know, he was a nerd. But if I remember correctly, 00:36:46.139 --> 00:36:48.000 looking at the episodes, he changed one time 00:36:48.000 --> 00:36:51.320 and he changed his name. Stephon Urkel. He took 00:36:51.320 --> 00:36:55.500 off the glasses. There you go. He was Stephon 00:36:55.500 --> 00:36:58.579 Urkel. And then when he came out, he was like, 00:36:58.780 --> 00:37:02.619 you know, he was like that dude. And at that 00:37:02.619 --> 00:37:06.760 point, he was like, see? It's like I'm saying 00:37:06.760 --> 00:37:15.380 back then I go They all want me exactly so it 00:37:15.380 --> 00:37:19.139 could have been a situation where You know Laura 00:37:19.139 --> 00:37:21.260 wasn't feeling him like that when he turned the 00:37:21.260 --> 00:37:23.659 step on it was like, okay This is still the same 00:37:23.659 --> 00:37:25.360 person. He's just presented himself a different 00:37:25.360 --> 00:37:28.559 way You know, I mean if he's a nerd he's still 00:37:28.559 --> 00:37:30.559 smart and he knows books and computers and everything 00:37:30.559 --> 00:37:32.679 else. He still does He's just presenting himself 00:37:32.679 --> 00:37:35.440 a different way. So that could be what it is 00:37:35.699 --> 00:37:37.960 And with that being said, let me ask you this. 00:37:39.880 --> 00:37:42.920 Some questions for you. So as a male, like say 00:37:42.920 --> 00:37:45.420 you're dating a woman and she says, you know, 00:37:45.500 --> 00:37:47.920 you asked her, hey, do you think I should cut 00:37:47.920 --> 00:37:49.159 my hair? Do you think I should nod? Do you think 00:37:49.159 --> 00:37:51.039 I should do this? Would you listen to her if 00:37:51.039 --> 00:37:53.619 she said the opposite of what you wanted as far 00:37:53.619 --> 00:37:57.739 as appearance? At the end of the day, the final 00:37:57.739 --> 00:38:00.940 say will be mine, but I would respect my woman's 00:38:00.940 --> 00:38:06.690 opinion because she is my woman. You still ain't 00:38:06.690 --> 00:38:08.309 answering the question. That's what I want to 00:38:08.309 --> 00:38:11.889 know. So would you, for example, you have facial 00:38:11.889 --> 00:38:16.059 hair. What if she said, you would look good just 00:38:16.059 --> 00:38:20.679 cutting off all your facial hair? No. I've tried 00:38:20.679 --> 00:38:24.269 that before. N -O. Who you would say no, because 00:38:24.269 --> 00:38:26.250 that's what you want. Okay. Well, see that some 00:38:26.250 --> 00:38:27.670 men, they feel differently. And that's why I 00:38:27.670 --> 00:38:29.190 was talking about step on. He may say, okay, 00:38:29.250 --> 00:38:31.809 well, you know what? Laura wants me to be this 00:38:31.809 --> 00:38:35.769 cool stud. But I guarantee you, Laura was regretting 00:38:35.769 --> 00:38:40.409 that. No, yes, she was she did and now this is 00:38:40.409 --> 00:38:46.170 why I say no because also I know me Once I cut 00:38:46.170 --> 00:38:51.010 all that facial hair off and I'm completely bare 00:38:51.010 --> 00:38:57.869 face Literally like I have a baby face So I don't 00:38:57.869 --> 00:39:05.599 look good with all my hair cut off Well, I mean 00:39:05.599 --> 00:39:10.179 But what if that's what she likes? That you give 00:39:10.179 --> 00:39:12.719 in your opinion, I'm saying what if so, so her 00:39:12.719 --> 00:39:17.570 word wouldn't be top tier. I would, I would listen 00:39:17.570 --> 00:39:21.730 to it, but it would, I also know me and I don't 00:39:21.730 --> 00:39:24.429 know if I would do it. I'm just going to be honest, 00:39:25.619 --> 00:39:29.239 but I would hear what she's saying. Okay, that 00:39:29.239 --> 00:39:32.860 makes sense. So, okay, okay, I'm going to ask 00:39:32.860 --> 00:39:35.840 you one, since you just wanted me, I'm going 00:39:35.840 --> 00:39:40.360 to be one. All right, so your man. Tells you 00:39:40.360 --> 00:39:43.500 baby. I think you look good with some blind in 00:39:43.500 --> 00:39:49.849 your head. Mm -hmm. Would you do it? Yeah That's 00:39:51.769 --> 00:39:59.980 easy Yeah, that's No problem. So you would do 00:39:59.980 --> 00:40:04.269 it. No questions asked Yeah, cuz the way I feel 00:40:04.269 --> 00:40:08.039 about hair and especially being a woman I could 00:40:08.039 --> 00:40:11.159 put fake hair in take fake hair out cut it off 00:40:11.159 --> 00:40:15.110 roll it back That's something that can be replaceable. 00:40:15.170 --> 00:40:16.429 That's why I'm gonna ask you about the patient. 00:40:16.610 --> 00:40:19.110 I didn't really I Didn't really get it cuz I'm 00:40:19.110 --> 00:40:20.690 like that's something that you can grow back 00:40:21.139 --> 00:40:26.210 if you choose not to Alright, alright. I'm gonna 00:40:26.210 --> 00:40:28.570 change my answer on that cuz you why you why 00:40:28.570 --> 00:40:33.050 you why? Even if even if she's happy with it 00:40:33.050 --> 00:40:35.429 for a short period of time when you do it just 00:40:35.429 --> 00:40:37.090 for a little while, you know, okay Well, I did 00:40:37.090 --> 00:40:40.610 it. It's cool. And I'm going but I'm going I'm 00:40:40.610 --> 00:40:43.090 going back. You know what? Okay, I'll give you 00:40:43.090 --> 00:40:48.730 my phone. All right. All right. Okay, like, now 00:40:48.730 --> 00:40:50.789 she said she wanted you to change your style. 00:40:50.949 --> 00:40:53.489 Like say she said, I don't want you to wear button 00:40:53.489 --> 00:40:55.550 downs anymore. I want you to dress differently. 00:40:57.030 --> 00:40:59.250 Now what about that? What was your response be? 00:41:00.480 --> 00:41:03.500 So maybe what she want me to wear. So maybe what 00:41:03.500 --> 00:41:05.619 she want me to wear. And let's, let's see what 00:41:05.619 --> 00:41:10.000 we working with you. Okay. So you, you, you have 00:41:10.000 --> 00:41:14.159 your options are open as far as Let's see what 00:41:14.159 --> 00:41:19.000 we come up with Let's let's let's see what we 00:41:19.000 --> 00:41:22.769 talking Okay, well that's good because I think 00:41:22.769 --> 00:41:24.349 I think sometimes when people in relationships 00:41:24.349 --> 00:41:26.510 They forget they own this is my biggest thing 00:41:26.510 --> 00:41:29.670 like I always say In a relationship you should 00:41:29.670 --> 00:41:34.000 not have to lose yourself. Oh No, you should 00:41:34.000 --> 00:41:36.980 not in too often times people lose themselves 00:41:36.980 --> 00:41:39.780 for somebody else and then you're stuck trying 00:41:39.780 --> 00:41:42.219 to find yourself when it's over or in the midst 00:41:42.219 --> 00:41:45.969 meaning you've You've kind of conformed to this 00:41:45.969 --> 00:41:48.289 person's ways in order to keep the relationship 00:41:48.289 --> 00:41:50.690 going and now that you're in a relationship you 00:41:50.690 --> 00:41:53.690 have to Put aside all the things that you like 00:41:53.690 --> 00:41:57.090 all the things that define you all the things 00:41:57.090 --> 00:41:59.230 that kind of keep you going for this other person 00:41:59.230 --> 00:42:01.170 That's only a short term. You're not gonna do 00:42:01.170 --> 00:42:06.280 that forever Yeah, you're gonna do it for short 00:42:06.280 --> 00:42:09.880 term so it's it's best to come into it real and 00:42:09.880 --> 00:42:13.300 honest about your thoughts and opinions and likes 00:42:13.300 --> 00:42:16.119 and dislikes that aren't stuffed out from the 00:42:16.119 --> 00:42:19.409 beginning. Yeah, like find out what you like 00:42:19.409 --> 00:42:21.429 and what you don't like from the very beginning 00:42:21.429 --> 00:42:26.519 that way y 'all can grow together. Right. But 00:42:26.519 --> 00:42:30.179 you all, y 'all stay tuned. There's definitely 00:42:30.179 --> 00:42:33.480 going to be more episodes like this. We will 00:42:33.480 --> 00:42:37.860 probably advertise it more. We will definitely 00:42:37.860 --> 00:42:40.840 advertise it better next time, but tonight we 00:42:40.840 --> 00:42:44.590 just want to do a pop up. Pop in, let y 'all 00:42:44.590 --> 00:42:48.250 know, hey, we here. Give a little conversation 00:42:48.250 --> 00:42:51.400 to y 'all. Give the people opportunities to tap 00:42:51.400 --> 00:42:55.329 it if they want to. Yes. We want y 'all to comment 00:42:55.329 --> 00:42:58.710 down there below. Comment in the comment section. 00:42:58.969 --> 00:43:00.889 Tell us what y 'all thought about tonight's topic. 00:43:01.389 --> 00:43:04.690 If y 'all want this as a regular show on the 00:43:04.690 --> 00:43:09.309 network, let us know. Let us know. And we'll 00:43:09.309 --> 00:43:12.679 try to figure it out, all right? Be blessed you 00:43:12.679 --> 00:43:41.079 guys. Peace. We love y 'all. And I need y 'all 00:43:41.079 --> 00:43:43.860 to turn on that notification bell over here on 00:43:43.860 --> 00:43:47.099 YouTube. That lets YouTube know that you like 00:43:47.099 --> 00:43:50.679 content like this. On behalf of everyone here 00:43:50.679 --> 00:43:54.039 at the network, we appreciate you because we 00:43:54.039 --> 00:43:57.340 couldn't release content the way that we do without 00:43:57.340 --> 00:44:00.480 your support. So as I always say, sometimes that 00:44:00.480 --> 00:44:02.539 disappointments are nothing more than guys' appointments 00:44:02.539 --> 00:44:05.559 meeting. Sometimes if we look at this bag, God 00:44:05.559 --> 00:44:07.679 is only telling me to win for our goods. Stay 00:44:07.679 --> 00:44:09.940 blessed, be blessed, and be a blessing to someone 00:44:09.940 --> 00:44:12.760 else. And I will see God on the next episode. 00:44:13.239 --> 00:44:13.440 Peace.