WEBVTT 00:00:06.089 --> 00:00:10.650 Yeah Turn your volume up. This ain't small talk. 00:00:10.990 --> 00:00:42.359 This is real talk Every single Monday we take 00:00:42.359 --> 00:01:12.739 it high What is up what is up what is up everyone 00:01:12.739 --> 00:01:17.060 everyone everyone it is another day another time 00:01:17.060 --> 00:01:22.000 in another week after one month y 'all literally 00:01:22.000 --> 00:01:28.920 after a month we back like literally y 'all don't 00:01:28.920 --> 00:01:31.659 understand there was Monday's where we like we 00:01:31.659 --> 00:01:35.140 doing a show and Then it's like right before 00:01:35.140 --> 00:01:41.400 the show rejection or we're talking about we're 00:01:41.400 --> 00:01:44.200 going to do a pre recording. We just, we have 00:01:44.200 --> 00:01:46.980 came to the conclusion that pre recordings ain't 00:01:46.980 --> 00:01:49.579 our thing. Cause every time we say we're going 00:01:49.579 --> 00:01:55.620 to do one, we never do it. But y 'all, one thing 00:01:55.620 --> 00:02:03.200 about this show is that we understand that real 00:02:03.200 --> 00:02:10.979 life happens. So. Because you say it all the 00:02:10.979 --> 00:02:18.159 time. What's our motto? I feel like our motto 00:02:18.159 --> 00:02:20.280 is about procrastination, being an assassination. 00:02:20.759 --> 00:02:23.379 But we really be going self -care in this season. 00:02:23.599 --> 00:02:26.759 We are taking care of ourselves. We are not over 00:02:26.759 --> 00:02:28.939 -extending ourselves. We are not running in survival 00:02:28.939 --> 00:02:31.319 mode. We are not running in burnout mode. We 00:02:31.319 --> 00:02:35.360 are taking care of ourselves. Yes, for real. 00:02:35.719 --> 00:02:37.740 And that's what we're doing. In this season, 00:02:38.159 --> 00:02:42.039 that's what we own. We are on more of, yo, let's 00:02:42.039 --> 00:02:44.699 take care of us. Let's make sure we're okay. 00:02:45.120 --> 00:02:47.020 Let's make sure we're doing the things that we 00:02:47.020 --> 00:02:51.000 need to do. Let's make sure that we are not overextending 00:02:51.000 --> 00:02:54.219 ourselves. Let's make sure that we are not doing 00:02:54.219 --> 00:03:01.360 too much in this season. So let's get in. First 00:03:01.360 --> 00:03:04.020 off, let's start it off with prayer. First thing 00:03:04.020 --> 00:03:06.620 first, let's start it off. We'll put them. Dear 00:03:06.620 --> 00:03:08.460 Lord, Heavenly Father, we thank you for this 00:03:08.460 --> 00:03:10.219 day. We thank you for everything that you have 00:03:10.219 --> 00:03:12.080 done in all this work. Continue what you do for 00:03:12.080 --> 00:03:14.919 us in our life. Lord, we thank you for this show. 00:03:15.219 --> 00:03:17.919 We thank you for what this show is. We thank 00:03:17.919 --> 00:03:21.000 you for this network, Lord. We'd ask you to let 00:03:21.000 --> 00:03:22.800 everything that we say, let everything that we 00:03:22.800 --> 00:03:25.599 do, and let everything that we, how we act be 00:03:25.599 --> 00:03:28.639 pleasing in our sight. Oh Lord, I swear that 00:03:28.639 --> 00:03:31.099 our Redeemer will give his soul over to you and 00:03:31.099 --> 00:03:38.199 Jesus' name. We pray. a man. All right. So, Hannah, 00:03:38.340 --> 00:03:41.000 tell them what our topic is tonight. Why does 00:03:41.000 --> 00:03:45.840 chaos feel normal? Like, you know, some people 00:03:45.840 --> 00:03:52.400 only know how to thrive in chaos because that 00:03:52.400 --> 00:03:54.039 is where they learn how to survive. And that's 00:03:54.039 --> 00:03:55.699 all they know. They don't know any different. 00:03:55.900 --> 00:03:57.139 You know how they say, you know better, you do 00:03:57.139 --> 00:03:58.539 better. They don't know. They don't know any 00:03:58.539 --> 00:04:04.120 different. They don't. They don't, um, that goes 00:04:04.120 --> 00:04:09.159 back to the scripture where I said, 26 and three 00:04:09.159 --> 00:04:13.319 where he says, you will keep in our B version. 00:04:13.539 --> 00:04:17.220 It says, you will keep in perfect peace. Those 00:04:17.220 --> 00:04:20.899 who minds are steadfast because they stress than 00:04:20.899 --> 00:04:23.740 you. So it's like, when you stress God and when 00:04:23.740 --> 00:04:25.759 you believe in God, everything's going to be 00:04:25.759 --> 00:04:33.660 cool. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. That's what happens 00:04:33.660 --> 00:04:37.019 when you trust God. Like everything is going 00:04:37.019 --> 00:04:43.560 to be okay. Like, you know that God's got you. 00:04:48.560 --> 00:04:55.319 That's what happens. This is what I get for saying 00:04:55.319 --> 00:04:58.259 out the live because the live came through my 00:04:58.259 --> 00:05:04.930 phone, but continue. I'ma let you go next. I'ma 00:05:04.930 --> 00:05:07.370 let you start us off with our questions. Okay, 00:05:07.629 --> 00:05:13.370 so what I'm learning is that some people just 00:05:13.370 --> 00:05:15.410 don't know how to live in peace and it's sad. 00:05:16.389 --> 00:05:18.689 I mean, I just really came into my peace era 00:05:18.689 --> 00:05:22.750 myself because they spent so much of their life 00:05:22.750 --> 00:05:27.430 living in chaos and surviving in chaos and that's 00:05:27.430 --> 00:05:29.709 all they know. But when you get to that piece, 00:05:29.829 --> 00:05:34.949 it's a nice feeling. So James and I were thinking 00:05:34.949 --> 00:05:38.670 about this and we noticed like we're at the season 00:05:38.670 --> 00:05:41.129 where it's like, all I want is peace. But when 00:05:41.129 --> 00:05:43.550 you finally get peace, they don't know what to 00:05:43.550 --> 00:05:48.709 do with it. Some people have that problem. So 00:05:48.709 --> 00:05:53.389 that's the thing. For some, like you want peace, 00:05:53.930 --> 00:05:57.329 but you don't know how to deal with it. you don't 00:05:57.329 --> 00:06:00.410 know how to deal with it once you get it. Like, 00:06:00.870 --> 00:06:05.250 your piece is so important. Like what he says, 00:06:05.670 --> 00:06:09.029 yes, peace is definitely so amazing. It is like 00:06:09.029 --> 00:06:13.410 your piece, when you get to a point in your life 00:06:13.410 --> 00:06:21.370 where it's me or the other person, ma 'am, sir, 00:06:21.870 --> 00:06:26.379 I'm at that big age of 36. But I'm suing me 24 00:06:26.379 --> 00:06:35.620 -7365 days out of the year. I got you. I have 00:06:35.620 --> 00:06:40.500 to because I understand that peace is more important 00:06:40.500 --> 00:06:47.139 than anything else that money can offer. That's 00:06:47.139 --> 00:06:49.680 real and I can definitely understand that because 00:06:49.680 --> 00:06:54.379 we often pray for God to give us peace. And then 00:06:54.379 --> 00:06:56.019 when nothing is going wrong, you're sitting there 00:06:56.019 --> 00:06:57.839 thinking, okay, what's about to happen because 00:06:57.839 --> 00:07:00.639 you're so used to the chaos. So you don't know 00:07:00.639 --> 00:07:05.639 how to function in the peace. Like, I think some 00:07:05.639 --> 00:07:08.920 people have a thing of where they have become 00:07:08.920 --> 00:07:12.379 comfortable in discomfort. They've become comfortable 00:07:12.379 --> 00:07:17.860 in chaos. They are like, they don't know how 00:07:17.860 --> 00:07:20.600 to, like you said, they don't know how to function 00:07:20.600 --> 00:07:23.920 if things are going peaceful. If things are going 00:07:23.920 --> 00:07:26.220 peaceful, trust and believe me, they're going 00:07:26.220 --> 00:07:28.540 to find a way to mess it up because they're so 00:07:28.540 --> 00:07:32.939 used to chaos going around. So if they are in 00:07:32.939 --> 00:07:35.180 a situation where things are going peaceful, 00:07:35.399 --> 00:07:39.459 guess what? No, I ain't liking this because I'm 00:07:39.459 --> 00:07:43.540 not used to this. My body is used to chaos. My 00:07:43.540 --> 00:07:46.620 body is used to confusion. My body is used to 00:07:46.620 --> 00:07:51.759 drama. My body is used to all of this other stuff. 00:07:52.189 --> 00:07:58.189 Let me use myself as an example. Yesterday, I 00:07:58.189 --> 00:08:04.490 preached not once, but twice. Not once, but twice, 00:08:04.730 --> 00:08:07.290 y 'all. Two different locations on yesterday. 00:08:08.529 --> 00:08:11.990 Now, the old James, there was another service 00:08:11.990 --> 00:08:16.389 that I had planned on going to. But once I realized 00:08:16.389 --> 00:08:21.129 that I had to preach twice. my body was already 00:08:21.129 --> 00:08:27.110 telling me, look, I'm tired. The old James would 00:08:27.110 --> 00:08:30.949 have pushed myself and tried to still make it 00:08:30.949 --> 00:08:33.629 to that other service, still try to be there 00:08:33.629 --> 00:08:38.710 for that other service. But now at the 36 year 00:08:38.710 --> 00:08:42.570 old James, I'm realizing now take your butt home, 00:08:43.690 --> 00:08:47.590 get through some West, make sure that you are 00:08:47.590 --> 00:08:53.000 good. Make sure that you are taking care of yourself 00:08:53.000 --> 00:08:55.820 because what good are you to everybody else? 00:08:56.519 --> 00:09:00.100 If you're no good to yourself, if you want it 00:09:00.100 --> 00:09:12.860 on E, what good are you to everybody else? Like 00:09:12.860 --> 00:09:15.100 what good are you to everybody else if you want 00:09:15.100 --> 00:09:19.519 it on E? But there's so many people who only 00:09:19.519 --> 00:09:22.440 know how to run on it. Whereas now in this season, 00:09:22.639 --> 00:09:24.500 I can't run on it. I really know I can't do it. 00:09:24.639 --> 00:09:27.700 Plants canceled. Sorry. Long as I meet all the 00:09:27.700 --> 00:09:29.600 things that I told my kids I'm going to do for 00:09:29.600 --> 00:09:31.559 them, long as I meet my homework as time is long 00:09:31.559 --> 00:09:33.940 as I paid my bills on being a good steward, long 00:09:33.940 --> 00:09:36.139 as I served with Grace, then I'm not responsible 00:09:36.139 --> 00:09:38.279 for anything. Like I just, some things just not 00:09:38.279 --> 00:09:41.960 going to make the cut. That part. That's like, 00:09:42.019 --> 00:09:45.000 that's what they show. There's times where we 00:09:45.000 --> 00:09:50.000 like, yo, We're not doing it tonight. We try. 00:09:51.759 --> 00:09:57.960 Family needs us. We need family time. We big 00:09:57.960 --> 00:10:05.559 on that in this season. I agree, team. We agree. 00:10:05.779 --> 00:10:10.120 It's OK to say no, exactly. And one thing that 00:10:10.120 --> 00:10:14.759 I've learned from Hannah is no is a complete 00:10:14.759 --> 00:10:17.879 sentence. It doesn't need anything after that. 00:10:19.039 --> 00:10:23.639 There's nothing that's needed after that. There 00:10:23.639 --> 00:10:26.759 is no explanation that's needed after you say 00:10:26.759 --> 00:10:36.100 no. And I'm learning that in this season, like 00:10:36.100 --> 00:10:39.919 I'm learning that, yo, it's okay to say no. It's 00:10:39.919 --> 00:10:42.860 okay to say, yo, I ain't got it right now. Yo, 00:10:42.940 --> 00:10:46.320 I'm not good right now. Yo, I need. I need some 00:10:46.320 --> 00:10:59.200 me time. And that's OK. And you have to protect 00:10:59.200 --> 00:11:01.139 yourself when you're a giver. So if you're naturally 00:11:01.139 --> 00:11:04.460 a giver, you have to have boundaries because 00:11:04.460 --> 00:11:07.460 people will take that and run you in circles. 00:11:07.679 --> 00:11:10.320 You have to know your limits. You have to respect 00:11:10.320 --> 00:11:13.480 your boundaries. You have to know when it's time 00:11:13.480 --> 00:11:18.419 to rest. what's safe for you and just do what's 00:11:18.419 --> 00:11:21.519 best for you. Like just self -love is so important. 00:11:21.779 --> 00:11:30.600 It's such a good skill to have. And it is. And 00:11:30.600 --> 00:11:33.580 I think sometimes we've said this on the show 00:11:33.580 --> 00:11:37.360 before and I'll say it again, self -care is not 00:11:37.360 --> 00:11:40.399 being selfish, but it's thinking about self more. 00:11:46.320 --> 00:11:48.179 That's what you're really doing. You're thinking 00:11:48.179 --> 00:11:55.240 about yourself for. You're thinking about yourself 00:11:55.240 --> 00:11:57.639 before you think about everybody else. You're 00:11:57.639 --> 00:12:00.419 thinking about yourself before you handle everything 00:12:00.419 --> 00:12:03.279 for everybody else. And it's OK to say, look, 00:12:03.440 --> 00:12:12.940 right now I ain't got it. And if it really bother 00:12:12.940 --> 00:12:15.889 with you, if it really support you. They're going 00:12:15.889 --> 00:12:25.250 to understand. And the people that are meant 00:12:25.250 --> 00:12:26.909 to be in your life are going to understand you. 00:12:27.110 --> 00:12:28.389 They're not going to try to use you. They're 00:12:28.389 --> 00:12:30.110 not going to try to manipulate you. They're not 00:12:30.110 --> 00:12:31.669 going to try to bulldog you. They're not going 00:12:31.669 --> 00:12:33.429 to give you ultimatums. They're not going to 00:12:33.429 --> 00:12:35.269 tell you, oh, this is a better idea because they 00:12:35.269 --> 00:12:37.590 are going to respect and love you for who you 00:12:37.590 --> 00:12:45.720 are and how you move. That's sort of facts. They're 00:12:45.720 --> 00:12:47.860 going to be like, you know what? If this is the 00:12:47.860 --> 00:12:51.159 way you're moving, I respect it. I'm walking 00:12:51.159 --> 00:12:54.320 with you. If that's how you're moving, bear. 00:12:55.340 --> 00:12:58.159 I wish you the best. I got your back. Whatever 00:12:58.159 --> 00:13:03.559 you need, let me know. Because you can get so 00:13:03.559 --> 00:13:06.580 caught up in saying that I got it can become 00:13:06.580 --> 00:13:09.840 a lifestyle. And that's not what we like. This 00:13:09.840 --> 00:13:11.419 chapter is not I got it. I'm not trying to be 00:13:11.419 --> 00:13:13.850 I got it. I only literally have one person that 00:13:13.850 --> 00:13:15.610 brings chaos in my life, because I really just, 00:13:15.769 --> 00:13:18.350 I can't do it. That's not happening anymore. 00:13:22.669 --> 00:13:28.870 Like, man, and I know exactly who you're talking 00:13:28.870 --> 00:13:30.490 about. When you say it. I mean, some people, 00:13:31.169 --> 00:13:33.850 every interaction is just chaotic. And you don't 00:13:33.850 --> 00:13:37.690 get to that season, you're like, look. You're 00:13:37.690 --> 00:13:39.070 going to end up in a hot spot. You have a chaotic, 00:13:39.190 --> 00:13:43.289 you have a chaotic, you are chaos. And I just. 00:13:44.110 --> 00:13:47.970 It is a thing. If everybody that comes around 00:13:47.970 --> 00:13:51.009 you is breaking chaos, you need to set yourself 00:13:51.009 --> 00:13:53.649 because what is it about you that's extracting 00:13:53.649 --> 00:14:00.330 them people? Right. So true. Because sometimes 00:14:00.330 --> 00:14:04.110 you've got that spirit of chaos on you and you 00:14:04.110 --> 00:14:11.509 don't even know it. You don't even know that. 00:14:11.960 --> 00:14:19.559 you got that spirit on you. And there's the point 00:14:19.559 --> 00:14:22.559 where you got to be like, you know what? I can't 00:14:22.559 --> 00:14:27.279 deal with it no more. And I refuse to deal with 00:14:27.279 --> 00:14:35.580 it anymore. It's like in this season, I had gotten 00:14:35.580 --> 00:14:44.100 to a point to where without realizing it. I was 00:14:44.100 --> 00:14:48.519 in all work mode. When I told you all work mode, 00:14:48.620 --> 00:14:53.899 I was behind this desk 24, 7, 365 days out of 00:14:53.899 --> 00:14:58.259 the year pretty much. Grinding, working. If I 00:14:58.259 --> 00:15:00.559 wasn't doing a podcast, I was promoting one. 00:15:01.019 --> 00:15:04.759 If I wasn't doing one, I don't... If I wasn't 00:15:04.759 --> 00:15:07.019 doing one, especially believe me, I was producing 00:15:07.019 --> 00:15:10.360 one for somebody else. I was always on grind 00:15:10.360 --> 00:15:12.960 mode. I felt like I had to have my hand in everything. 00:15:16.779 --> 00:15:19.559 And then here within the last couple of weeks, 00:15:20.740 --> 00:15:27.279 I started looking at stuff and started realizing 00:15:27.279 --> 00:15:37.440 what's most important. And I chose the better 00:15:37.440 --> 00:15:43.480 parts. So y 'all still going to be seeing a lot 00:15:43.480 --> 00:15:46.620 of shows, but trust and believe me, it's not 00:15:46.620 --> 00:15:52.019 going to be as crazy as it was because I'm realizing 00:15:52.019 --> 00:15:56.899 I can't function like that. I'm not a machine. 00:16:00.519 --> 00:16:07.320 We're going for quality, not quantity. So we're 00:16:07.320 --> 00:16:10.200 going for quality content over here. I want every 00:16:10.200 --> 00:16:13.220 time people look at this, over here at this network, 00:16:13.759 --> 00:16:16.240 that they know they're getting quality content. 00:16:16.580 --> 00:16:19.059 Now, oh wow, he's coming with another soul just 00:16:19.059 --> 00:16:22.139 to say he got it so on there. No, I want quality. 00:16:31.360 --> 00:16:37.100 It's stepping back for a minute. He's okay. Like 00:16:37.100 --> 00:16:39.360 stepping back for a minute doesn't mean that 00:16:39.360 --> 00:16:42.700 you quit. It just means that we're evaluating 00:16:42.700 --> 00:16:45.899 what's important and you're putting your priorities 00:16:45.899 --> 00:16:55.379 in order. That's how that means. It don't mean 00:16:55.379 --> 00:16:58.500 that you quit. It just means you're suing the 00:16:58.500 --> 00:17:01.159 better parts. You're suing what needs to be handled 00:17:01.159 --> 00:17:12.430 first. I'm gonna let you go with the next question. 00:17:13.549 --> 00:17:20.390 The next question is why peace can feel uncultable. 00:17:21.089 --> 00:17:23.829 Psalm 4610 says be still and know that I am God. 00:17:23.970 --> 00:17:27.130 That is one of my favorite verses. It's on my 00:17:27.130 --> 00:17:34.190 wall in my prayer room. Be still and know that 00:17:34.190 --> 00:17:38.029 I am God. Because so many of us don't know how 00:17:38.029 --> 00:17:42.119 to be still. I have learned that so much in the 00:17:42.119 --> 00:17:46.720 past two years. And God is. You be on me about 00:17:46.720 --> 00:17:50.039 that. You be on me about that. Yeah, I'm gonna 00:17:50.039 --> 00:17:53.579 find a way to do that. You're like, I'll call 00:17:53.579 --> 00:17:56.819 you about something and you're like, well, sit 00:17:56.819 --> 00:18:03.559 still. Sit still real quick. And it's like once 00:18:03.559 --> 00:18:07.759 I sit still, everything starts making sense. 00:18:13.829 --> 00:18:16.049 But that scripture right there is so powerful. 00:18:16.269 --> 00:18:22.150 Be still and know that I am God. And otherwise, 00:18:22.390 --> 00:18:25.470 what that scripture is telling us is, just sit 00:18:25.470 --> 00:18:29.589 still. Know that I'm God. Know that I got you. 00:18:29.910 --> 00:18:33.269 You ain't gotta have it all together right now. 00:18:33.650 --> 00:18:36.849 You ain't gotta know every step, but just know 00:18:36.849 --> 00:18:39.430 you know one step and I'm making the others for 00:18:39.430 --> 00:18:46.839 you. Just be still. Sometimes the step is God 00:18:46.839 --> 00:18:51.960 has a window. A lot of times that's the biggest 00:18:51.960 --> 00:19:06.079 step you can make. So peace is not the absence 00:19:06.079 --> 00:19:09.099 of productivity. You don't have to constantly 00:19:09.099 --> 00:19:12.819 be fixing something to be valuable. You know, 00:19:12.920 --> 00:19:16.619 I think that's something we miss, we do a lot 00:19:16.619 --> 00:19:23.339 of, and it doesn't make sense. I agree, I agree. 00:19:25.799 --> 00:19:29.220 I have a tendency to try to be the Superman. 00:19:32.759 --> 00:19:36.680 And sometimes when somebody had to remind me 00:19:36.680 --> 00:19:42.500 one time is... Good point of mine asked me a 00:19:42.500 --> 00:19:46.900 question one time. They said, I found out something 00:19:46.900 --> 00:19:50.440 new about you. I said, what? They said, I didn't 00:19:50.440 --> 00:19:56.440 know you died on the cross. I said, I said, what 00:19:56.440 --> 00:19:58.619 are you talking about? I had died on the cross. 00:19:59.279 --> 00:20:00.839 They said, I didn't know you was buried in a 00:20:00.839 --> 00:20:04.420 grave and raised up again. I said, what are you 00:20:04.420 --> 00:20:06.660 talking about? I wasn't. They're like, you had 00:20:06.660 --> 00:20:10.119 like Jesus Christ. Only Jesus can save everybody. 00:20:10.980 --> 00:20:13.819 You need to point them to Jesus and that's why 00:20:13.819 --> 00:20:16.420 to be Jesus yourself is how to save everybody. 00:20:19.940 --> 00:20:26.059 I love that. Very well stated. When I tell you 00:20:26.059 --> 00:20:32.200 when that person told me that I was like, I couldn't 00:20:32.200 --> 00:20:38.279 even argue because I'm like, that's the part. 00:20:41.809 --> 00:20:44.289 Because without realizing I was doing it, that's 00:20:44.289 --> 00:20:51.650 what I was doing. Like without even realizing 00:20:51.650 --> 00:20:58.970 it, I had done that. And it's very common for 00:20:58.970 --> 00:21:02.369 mothers, especially for women who carry a lot, 00:21:03.150 --> 00:21:06.170 especially for women who are used to everybody 00:21:06.170 --> 00:21:09.250 needing something from them. Sometimes sitting 00:21:09.250 --> 00:21:13.000 down makes you feel guilty. You sit down for 00:21:13.000 --> 00:21:14.200 five minutes and then you're immediately thinking 00:21:14.200 --> 00:21:17.000 about laundry, lunchboxes, groceries, meal prep. 00:21:17.440 --> 00:21:19.299 Did I go to the gym? How many steps do I have 00:21:19.299 --> 00:21:23.240 today? Did she finish all her homework? Do I 00:21:23.240 --> 00:21:25.279 have enough guys to do all my stuff tomorrow? 00:21:25.539 --> 00:21:28.299 Like you really just think and one thing in my 00:21:28.299 --> 00:21:30.259 oldest is really firm. I mean, I love that. That 00:21:30.259 --> 00:21:31.680 lets me know I'm doing a good job as a parent. 00:21:33.059 --> 00:21:34.460 But like I started coming down with something 00:21:34.460 --> 00:21:38.049 yesterday and she was the site. Mom, of course, 00:21:38.190 --> 00:21:39.650 you know, I want to then let them say, I would 00:21:39.650 --> 00:21:40.730 be in the gym, I would be in the gym with them 00:21:40.730 --> 00:21:43.029 on me, okay? So I'm gonna live in the gym, that's 00:21:43.029 --> 00:21:46.950 my therapy, that's my coping techniques. But 00:21:46.950 --> 00:21:48.329 if I went to the gym and I still didn't feel 00:21:48.329 --> 00:21:50.349 good, I was like, it's not stress, it's my pressure. 00:21:51.089 --> 00:21:52.809 I might be coming down with something and my 00:21:52.809 --> 00:21:55.970 baby was sick. And my oldest was just like, I 00:21:55.970 --> 00:21:58.150 was gonna do something. She was like, mama, just 00:21:58.150 --> 00:22:00.190 pray. So whatever we need, you know, we could. 00:22:01.049 --> 00:22:04.359 And that just meant the world to me. That mom 00:22:04.359 --> 00:22:06.640 was 13. I was just like mama just rest like it's 00:22:06.640 --> 00:22:09.140 good for you like mama you do you got your two 00:22:09.140 --> 00:22:12.339 jobs You take care of us. We do activities just 00:22:12.339 --> 00:22:19.900 rest Good night team away. God bless you. God 00:22:19.900 --> 00:22:23.240 bless you. Have a blessed night But yeah, that's 00:22:23.240 --> 00:22:28.720 all mm -hmm and that shows you that shows you 00:22:28.720 --> 00:22:36.140 that You're doing a good job. You're doing your 00:22:36.140 --> 00:22:40.680 job. You've shown up. You've done what you're 00:22:40.680 --> 00:22:44.839 supposed to do. You've done your job. You did 00:22:44.839 --> 00:22:47.759 what you're supposed to do. You've set the groundwork. 00:22:49.640 --> 00:22:56.319 You have set the foundation to where they trust 00:22:56.319 --> 00:23:01.670 what you are saying. They trust you. They like, 00:23:02.170 --> 00:23:05.309 they're like, you know what? But we know that 00:23:05.309 --> 00:23:08.650 mama has us all the time. Now it's our time to 00:23:08.650 --> 00:23:15.390 have her. And I can honestly say, I can't. The 00:23:15.390 --> 00:23:20.170 women that I call sisters that are in my life 00:23:20.170 --> 00:23:28.589 that have kids. Y 'all do an amazing job with 00:23:28.589 --> 00:23:35.579 all those kids. every last one of y 'all. And 00:23:35.579 --> 00:23:37.539 I'm proud of y 'all for everything that y 'all 00:23:37.539 --> 00:23:44.079 do. Like, my nieces and nephews couldn't ask 00:23:44.079 --> 00:23:53.259 for better mamas. Even Wacko couldn't ask for 00:23:53.259 --> 00:23:55.519 a better, even Wacky couldn't ask for a better 00:23:55.519 --> 00:24:06.359 mama. but not for real though, like, and even 00:24:06.359 --> 00:24:09.559 before we started this show tonight, when I saw 00:24:09.559 --> 00:24:12.740 Hannah and she told me that she wasn't really 00:24:12.740 --> 00:24:18.960 feeling the best of my, we can cancel. And her 00:24:18.960 --> 00:24:27.940 exact words was, we're here, let's do it. And 00:24:27.940 --> 00:24:32.410 that's what I love. Thank you. Now, I want to 00:24:32.410 --> 00:24:34.349 talk about this one because it's a good one. 00:24:34.769 --> 00:24:43.950 When chaos enters your relationship. So, like, 00:24:44.150 --> 00:24:45.849 let's get into a relationship because this is 00:24:45.849 --> 00:24:48.710 where somebody is going to get mad at us. And 00:24:48.710 --> 00:24:50.890 James is probably going to say, here we go. And 00:24:50.890 --> 00:24:53.789 then I'm like, because what happens when someone 00:24:53.789 --> 00:24:57.349 who grew up around inconsistency finally meets 00:24:57.349 --> 00:25:00.839 somebody consistent. At first you think, oh, 00:25:00.839 --> 00:25:03.819 this is nice. Then in a little time passing, 00:25:04.000 --> 00:25:08.200 you're like, why are they so calm? And then what 00:25:08.200 --> 00:25:10.460 do you think after that, James? What is the next 00:25:10.460 --> 00:25:16.240 thought the man had? So what a woman. You petty 00:25:16.240 --> 00:25:20.000 for this. You petty. You know you petty. I'm 00:25:20.000 --> 00:25:21.839 drinking straight honey. This child puts so much 00:25:21.839 --> 00:25:25.220 honey in his tea, I might have the nits of insulin 00:25:25.220 --> 00:25:29.680 afterwards. So it's just pure honey. Yeah, you 00:25:29.680 --> 00:25:34.019 pay me for this but the next thing that the man 00:25:34.019 --> 00:25:41.000 thinks is There's got to be something wrong Let 00:25:41.000 --> 00:25:47.720 me tell y 'all there's been countless times Well, 00:25:47.759 --> 00:25:53.140 I've been on the phone with this one And I'm 00:25:53.140 --> 00:25:57.180 feeling like something's wrong Something's wrong, 00:25:57.359 --> 00:26:01.539 something's wrong, something's wrong. And a lot 00:26:01.539 --> 00:26:08.799 of times, I self -sabotage. Without meaning to. 00:26:10.539 --> 00:26:25.200 I self -sabotage without meaning to. because 00:26:25.200 --> 00:26:29.259 of the simple fact of I'm not used to something 00:26:29.259 --> 00:26:37.359 like that. I'm not used to that caliber. And 00:26:37.359 --> 00:26:40.119 it's common. It's not just you because I know 00:26:40.119 --> 00:26:42.640 like, I used to go off and like, why are you 00:26:42.640 --> 00:26:44.920 like, why are you being so toxic? Like, you know, 00:26:44.940 --> 00:26:46.720 now it's just like when they did today, I'm like, 00:26:46.980 --> 00:26:50.460 okay, I know that's what you want. Okay, got 00:26:50.460 --> 00:26:53.519 it, you know. learning, being aware, and communicating 00:26:53.519 --> 00:27:01.220 effectively. Say it one more time for the people 00:27:01.220 --> 00:27:04.859 in the back. Learning, be aware, and communicating 00:27:04.859 --> 00:27:08.299 effectively. Break those down for the people 00:27:08.299 --> 00:27:10.920 in the back because you know that some of them 00:27:10.920 --> 00:27:14.039 might be a little slow. Break it down. You learn 00:27:14.039 --> 00:27:16.160 the person you're in relationship with. If you're 00:27:16.160 --> 00:27:20.940 really all in and you're really building for 00:27:20.940 --> 00:27:23.920 the long haul, you're going to learn their behavior. 00:27:24.180 --> 00:27:25.940 You're going to learn things they do. And at 00:27:25.940 --> 00:27:27.279 first you'd be like, they'll be like triggers. 00:27:27.640 --> 00:27:29.259 And you'd be like, oh, you toxic. Oh, this is 00:27:29.259 --> 00:27:30.920 mad. And then when you really sit back and reflect, 00:27:31.259 --> 00:27:33.220 and most importantly, when you pray about it. 00:27:33.720 --> 00:27:36.539 And so then when it comes up on the screen, you're 00:27:36.539 --> 00:27:38.579 aware like, OK, when they see you that text at 00:27:38.579 --> 00:27:40.740 a call, you're like, OK, yeah, I get what you 00:27:40.740 --> 00:27:44.019 got going on. And then just communicate. Like, 00:27:44.279 --> 00:27:46.440 I ain't finished now, but go off like I normally 00:27:46.440 --> 00:27:49.339 did in the beginning. I'm just like, OK. I got 00:27:49.339 --> 00:27:52.220 you. This is what's going on. This is what we're 00:27:52.220 --> 00:27:55.839 going to do. That's the part of it. That you 00:27:55.839 --> 00:27:58.799 have to grow into the relationship and learn 00:27:58.799 --> 00:28:01.059 each other if you really want it for the long 00:28:01.059 --> 00:28:03.980 haul. Either you play in checkers or you play 00:28:03.980 --> 00:28:09.440 in chess. Ooh, we either play in checkers or 00:28:09.440 --> 00:28:15.720 we play in chess. Mm -hmm. I like that. I like 00:28:15.720 --> 00:28:20.440 that. I like that. Yo. Ladies, gentlemen, I hope 00:28:20.440 --> 00:28:24.019 y 'all take notes on that. Because seeds literally 00:28:24.019 --> 00:28:29.519 drop some bars. Because the thing about it is 00:28:29.519 --> 00:28:32.160 a healthy relationship is it can feel different. 00:28:34.299 --> 00:28:39.119 If you never experienced that before. And this 00:28:39.119 --> 00:28:40.420 has been friendship, too. We're not just talking 00:28:40.420 --> 00:28:41.460 about people you date. This has been friendship. 00:28:41.579 --> 00:28:42.880 We need healthy friendships in this evening. 00:28:43.480 --> 00:28:46.319 We got to have healthy friendships. We got to 00:28:46.319 --> 00:28:48.099 have an accountability circle where you keep 00:28:48.099 --> 00:28:50.980 it raw and real and they hold you accountable. 00:28:51.920 --> 00:28:56.480 That is really one of my greatest assets. It's 00:28:56.480 --> 00:28:58.460 my accountability circle. I love them. They love 00:28:58.460 --> 00:29:02.940 me. They keep it raw. And I love that for me. 00:29:04.559 --> 00:29:08.279 And me and you are the same way with each other. 00:29:08.759 --> 00:29:11.680 We keep it raw. We keep it real. Straighten those 00:29:11.680 --> 00:29:18.359 states. I would know, don't call Hannah if I 00:29:18.359 --> 00:29:24.660 don't want the guys on the street. And the feeling 00:29:24.660 --> 00:29:27.319 is mutual. It still felt as mutual, because he 00:29:27.319 --> 00:29:29.740 was telling me some stuff this weekend. He was 00:29:29.740 --> 00:29:33.119 like, ooh, it's still going. What? That ain't 00:29:33.119 --> 00:29:36.039 like you, girl. Like, see, it's really okay. 00:29:36.319 --> 00:29:38.480 Yeah, you might really, we're crossing a new 00:29:38.480 --> 00:29:41.779 era. He gonna tell me about myself? Oh, I am. 00:29:42.109 --> 00:29:47.210 Because I'm like, oh, we still do it? Oh, OK. 00:29:47.210 --> 00:29:52.430 Right. OK. OK. OK. I'm like, because the Hannah 00:29:52.430 --> 00:30:00.549 I knew, baby, cut off game 12. But I've been 00:30:00.549 --> 00:30:03.369 sitting on that sofa, getting that help, working 00:30:03.369 --> 00:30:06.480 through that trauma. Healing myself, learning 00:30:06.480 --> 00:30:09.940 good coping techniques for me, drilling, going 00:30:09.940 --> 00:30:13.400 to the gym, drinking plenty of water, light on 00:30:13.400 --> 00:30:16.000 the caffeine, just my coffee in the morning, 00:30:16.640 --> 00:30:19.980 you know, just taking care of me. That's good. 00:30:20.779 --> 00:30:24.640 That's good. That is real good. Like, let me 00:30:24.640 --> 00:30:27.700 tell y 'all, like literally, it has been a while 00:30:27.700 --> 00:30:32.359 since I have been to the gym, probably at least 00:30:32.359 --> 00:30:35.720 two or three months. because life had been life. 00:30:36.779 --> 00:30:44.279 I guess it was last Thursday. I'm excited. I'm 00:30:44.279 --> 00:30:50.940 going. When I tell you it felt good to be back, 00:30:51.839 --> 00:30:57.460 I'm not where I used to be, but I'm not comparing 00:30:57.460 --> 00:31:02.079 my today's success to my yesterday's success. 00:31:04.590 --> 00:31:07.930 Because yesterday is dead and gone. I can only 00:31:07.930 --> 00:31:28.069 live for today. It's another good one. Internal 00:31:28.069 --> 00:31:32.130 chaos. That's why we don't like to dress in a 00:31:32.130 --> 00:31:36.710 room. And you think it's usually we think chaos 00:31:36.710 --> 00:31:39.529 is like swimming, fighting and drama. But some 00:31:39.529 --> 00:31:42.210 of the most chaotic people are completely quiet. 00:31:46.410 --> 00:31:54.150 And they are because they're captivating. Right. 00:31:56.910 --> 00:31:59.289 So it's like, your house can be quiet, but your 00:31:59.289 --> 00:32:03.259 mind is loud. your replaying conversations, why 00:32:03.259 --> 00:32:06.259 did he say it like that? Why did she look at 00:32:06.259 --> 00:32:09.859 me like that? Did I say something wrong? Are 00:32:09.859 --> 00:32:13.279 they upset with me? Should I text? No, I don't 00:32:13.279 --> 00:32:15.740 text. Maybe I should text. You know, just be 00:32:15.740 --> 00:32:17.039 taking yourself through outside the internal 00:32:17.039 --> 00:32:24.480 cast. Some may be like, you know. And it's so 00:32:24.480 --> 00:32:31.839 exhausting. Not getting no sleep. And let me 00:32:31.839 --> 00:32:34.440 be real. In this season, I'm getting all my sleep. 00:32:35.200 --> 00:32:36.839 I gotta get my sleep. You know, I'm getting closer 00:32:36.839 --> 00:32:40.279 than 4 -0 to body difference. Oh, yeah. Mm -hmm. 00:32:40.440 --> 00:32:42.299 Say something. Say something. Say something. 00:32:43.180 --> 00:32:46.079 Because I'm healthy. I'm in the gym four daily. 00:32:46.299 --> 00:32:49.259 When I hit 40, and we stand on that beach, you 00:32:49.259 --> 00:32:50.880 better make sure you're ready to be in that clear 00:32:50.880 --> 00:32:53.839 boat. Because I need your picture to be equal. 00:32:54.240 --> 00:32:56.019 My 40th birthday, we are going out of country. 00:32:56.579 --> 00:32:59.960 Let's go. I'm with it. I'm with it. I am with 00:32:59.960 --> 00:33:01.970 it. I've been on this journey for a couple years 00:33:01.970 --> 00:33:07.089 for a reason. I'm with it. Dude. I was about 00:33:07.089 --> 00:33:09.829 to say something petty, but I'm with it. I'm 00:33:09.829 --> 00:33:13.289 with it. Keep it nice. Keep it nice. Look, this 00:33:13.289 --> 00:33:15.730 is our first episode back four months, so I'm 00:33:15.730 --> 00:33:20.210 not going to lose violence this time. It's growth. 00:33:20.750 --> 00:33:27.009 It's growth. So you're my next episode. I ain't 00:33:27.009 --> 00:33:29.559 making no promises. Okay, well, we're gonna finish 00:33:29.559 --> 00:33:32.440 in grace today. All right. So, but your mind 00:33:32.440 --> 00:33:35.180 is still operating like dangers around every 00:33:35.180 --> 00:33:38.160 corner. In Romans 12, too, it talks about being 00:33:38.160 --> 00:33:40.900 transformed by renewing our minds, which is something 00:33:40.900 --> 00:33:44.799 you really have to do. And I feel like I constantly 00:33:44.799 --> 00:33:46.660 renew my mind because I've been reading my Bible 00:33:46.660 --> 00:33:50.440 daily. I watch the content that I watch on my 00:33:50.440 --> 00:33:53.779 phone. I have my accountability circle and they're 00:33:53.779 --> 00:33:57.789 all very close with God, which is nice. because 00:33:57.789 --> 00:33:59.710 honestly, it's really easy to be with people 00:33:59.710 --> 00:34:01.089 that are close to the God in your accountability 00:34:01.089 --> 00:34:04.089 circle because if the relationship is true, y 00:34:04.089 --> 00:34:06.230 'all had a discernment together, y 'all can go 00:34:06.230 --> 00:34:07.930 to praying and you're handling language together 00:34:07.930 --> 00:34:11.869 because we have prayed some things about me, 00:34:12.510 --> 00:34:15.949 about my daughter, and I love that for me. But 00:34:15.949 --> 00:34:18.670 it's just such a blessing to have friends like 00:34:18.670 --> 00:34:21.389 that. I have a mentor. She's really helped me 00:34:21.389 --> 00:34:26.880 grow so much in the past year spiritually. And 00:34:26.880 --> 00:34:29.880 it's just amazing. It's really good to have the 00:34:29.880 --> 00:34:31.599 people on the same page or where you're trying 00:34:31.599 --> 00:34:33.639 to go. You really can't interact with people 00:34:33.639 --> 00:34:35.940 they don't believe in God or don't have that 00:34:35.940 --> 00:34:38.119 relationship, because it ain't gonna work. It 00:34:38.119 --> 00:34:41.519 can, because the scripture tells us how can two 00:34:41.519 --> 00:34:48.900 walk together unless they agree. And legit, there 00:34:48.900 --> 00:34:52.579 has been times where Hannah has text me. It seems 00:34:52.579 --> 00:34:56.739 I blow, I need to put it. We play right now. 00:34:56.960 --> 00:35:02.219 We ain't right until tomorrow. What's up? You 00:35:02.219 --> 00:35:04.539 said you need one, but we doing it right now. 00:35:05.199 --> 00:35:07.159 We ain't right until tomorrow. We doing it right 00:35:07.159 --> 00:35:11.860 now. Come on. Devil, you can't have my sister. 00:35:12.480 --> 00:35:18.079 Not at all. Devil, get up off of her. She is 00:35:18.079 --> 00:35:22.480 the head, not the tail. She is above, not beneath. 00:35:24.429 --> 00:35:32.550 She is the Linda, not the ball. Don't get me 00:35:32.550 --> 00:35:40.989 started. I love being a lender. I do too. Yes. 00:35:43.489 --> 00:35:46.070 But I love being a lender to those that appreciate. 00:35:48.969 --> 00:35:52.690 That's right. Because if somebody will take advantage. 00:35:58.839 --> 00:36:03.699 But y 'all, this is our first episode back. Hopefully 00:36:03.699 --> 00:36:08.360 we back next week. Y 'all will find out. We all, 00:36:08.440 --> 00:36:11.639 we all, we love y 'all. You love us. And it's 00:36:11.639 --> 00:36:14.179 always a great show to get on here. Y 'all know 00:36:14.179 --> 00:36:18.559 what it is. Like, y 'all know what it is. Like, 00:36:19.360 --> 00:36:21.659 y 'all know what it is. Like, y 'all know what 00:36:21.659 --> 00:36:21.860 it is. Like, y 'all know what it is. Like, y 00:36:21.860 --> 00:36:21.860 'all know what it is. Like, y 'all know what 00:36:21.860 --> 00:36:21.860 it is. Like, y 'all know what it is. Like, y 00:36:21.860 --> 00:36:22.119 'all know what it is. Like, y 'all know what 00:36:22.119 --> 00:36:22.360 it is. Like, y 'all know what it is. Like, y 00:36:22.360 --> 00:36:22.440 'all know what it is. Like, y 'all know what 00:36:22.440 --> 00:36:23.019 it is. Like, y 'all know what it is. Like, y 00:36:23.019 --> 00:36:23.420 'all know what it is. Like, y 'all know what 00:36:23.420 --> 00:36:23.940 it is. Like, y 'all know what it is. Like, y 00:36:23.500 --> 00:36:28.320 We might. We might. All right. So, y 'all, we 00:36:28.320 --> 00:36:31.760 love y 'all. God bless y 'all. And as I always 00:36:31.760 --> 00:36:33.420 say, sometimes our disappointments are nothing 00:36:33.420 --> 00:36:36.079 more than God's appointments. Meaning, sometimes 00:36:36.079 --> 00:36:37.940 if we look at it as bad, God is only telling 00:36:37.940 --> 00:36:40.079 us to help our good, stay blessed, be blessed, 00:36:40.239 --> 00:36:42.639 be a blessing to someone else. And I hit them 00:36:42.639 --> 00:36:45.760 with that closure. And don't let your procrastination 00:36:45.760 --> 00:36:48.980 be the fascination of your success. Love yourself, 00:36:49.380 --> 00:36:52.199 put yourself first. All right, y 'all. We love 00:36:52.199 --> 00:36:57.940 y 'all. Peace. Bye. Hello, hello, hello. Thank 00:36:57.940 --> 00:37:00.800 you for watching another episode on James J's 00:37:00.800 --> 00:37:04.619 Club and Network. We appreciate you for all of 00:37:04.619 --> 00:37:07.880 your love, all of your support and all of your 00:37:07.880 --> 00:37:11.780 just comments. Now what I need y 'all to do is, 00:37:11.840 --> 00:37:15.880 like this says, like and subscribe. Also, I need 00:37:15.880 --> 00:37:18.460 y 'all to share and I need y 'all to tag. And 00:37:18.460 --> 00:37:20.539 I need y 'all to turn on that notification bell 00:37:20.539 --> 00:37:24.360 over here on YouTube. That lets YouTube know 00:37:24.360 --> 00:37:27.800 that you like content like this. On behalf of 00:37:27.800 --> 00:37:30.780 everyone here at the network, we appreciate you 00:37:30.780 --> 00:37:34.019 because we couldn't release content the way that 00:37:34.019 --> 00:37:37.599 we do without your support. So as I always say, 00:37:37.719 --> 00:37:39.599 sometimes a disappointment's another more than 00:37:39.599 --> 00:37:42.000 God's appointments meaning. Sometimes if we look 00:37:42.000 --> 00:37:44.539 at his bag, God is only telling it around for 00:37:44.539 --> 00:37:47.070 our good. Stay blessed, be blessed, and be blessed 00:37:47.070 --> 00:37:50.130 to someone else. And I will see God on the next 00:37:50.130 --> 00:37:51.190 episode. Peace.