WEBVTT 00:00:11.329 --> 00:00:14.050 Yeah, yeah, you say you say you say you're ready 00:00:14.050 --> 00:00:16.910 today. You say you're ready. You feel like it's 00:00:16.910 --> 00:00:20.649 fate. Join Jays and Dr. Jays Sunday 10 p .m. 00:00:21.550 --> 00:00:24.949 Don't be late for dating while anointing Sunday 00:00:24.949 --> 00:00:33.509 10 p .m. It's great What is up? What is up? What 00:00:33.509 --> 00:00:35.630 is up? What is up? What is up? What is up? What 00:00:35.630 --> 00:00:38.070 is up? What is up? What is up? What is up? What 00:00:38.070 --> 00:00:38.070 is up? What is up? What is up? What is up? What 00:00:38.070 --> 00:00:38.070 is up? What is up? What is up? What is up? What 00:00:38.070 --> 00:00:38.070 is up? What is up? What is up? What is up? What 00:00:38.070 --> 00:00:38.070 is up? What is up? What is up? What is up? What 00:00:38.070 --> 00:00:38.070 is up? What is up? What is up? What is up? What 00:00:38.070 --> 00:00:38.070 is up? What is up? What is up? What is up? What 00:00:38.070 --> 00:00:38.070 is up? What is up? What is up? What is up? What 00:00:38.070 --> 00:00:41.299 is up? What is up? What is up I'm talking about 00:00:41.299 --> 00:00:44.100 dating ball anointing. Ladies and gentlemen, 00:00:44.179 --> 00:00:46.979 ladies and gentlemen, I do not have my other 00:00:46.979 --> 00:00:51.280 mama only with me tonight, but I got somebody 00:00:51.280 --> 00:00:54.159 just as good. I got my big sister only with me 00:00:54.159 --> 00:00:58.560 tonight. If you offer this topic, I knew I had 00:00:58.560 --> 00:01:03.280 to bring somebody major to the screen. So let 00:01:03.280 --> 00:01:08.329 me tell you, this woman of God. has multiple 00:01:08.329 --> 00:01:11.969 businesses that I see once. This woman of God 00:01:11.969 --> 00:01:16.969 is a multiple -time author. This woman of God 00:01:16.969 --> 00:01:22.590 is a mother. This woman of God is a powerhouse. 00:01:23.370 --> 00:01:26.709 This woman of God is a podcast host of Relevant 00:01:26.709 --> 00:01:32.450 Solutions with Dr. Ebony. She is a doctor. She 00:01:32.450 --> 00:01:39.120 is a director at a college. She is a like so 00:01:39.120 --> 00:01:40.859 many things I could say about this woman and 00:01:40.859 --> 00:01:44.780 God. She is my big sister. I'm talking about 00:01:44.780 --> 00:01:50.560 Dr. Ebony Wallace. She has been on dating while 00:01:50.560 --> 00:01:55.340 anointing a bunch. She's been on prosperity blueprint 00:01:55.340 --> 00:01:58.579 once. She's been on Kingdom Boss mindset once. 00:01:58.980 --> 00:02:01.140 And now we're bringing her back on dating while 00:02:01.140 --> 00:02:04.819 anointing with you. start making your tour run, 00:02:05.260 --> 00:02:08.900 you know your family. And from the first conversations 00:02:08.900 --> 00:02:12.199 that C &I had, C &I became family automatically. 00:02:13.159 --> 00:02:15.780 So ladies and gentlemen, put your blessings together 00:02:15.780 --> 00:02:26.840 for my big sis, Dr. Ebony. What is going on sis? 00:02:27.099 --> 00:02:31.340 How you doing? I'm doing well. How are you tonight? 00:02:32.000 --> 00:02:36.520 I'm super excited about tonight's show. I'm blessed 00:02:36.520 --> 00:02:39.580 and just ready to dig right in with my little 00:02:39.580 --> 00:02:42.840 brother. How you doing? Yes, I am well. I'm well. 00:02:43.300 --> 00:02:45.960 Bunched out week after week for coming because 00:02:45.960 --> 00:02:51.879 you are a basic woman. And the fact that she 00:02:51.879 --> 00:02:55.000 comes whenever her little brother calls her, 00:02:55.500 --> 00:02:58.360 I appreciate that. And I'm the same way with 00:02:58.360 --> 00:03:01.800 her. Anytime she calls me for anything, don't 00:03:01.800 --> 00:03:03.599 worry about it. She says, I got your cover. We're 00:03:03.599 --> 00:03:07.539 going to make it happen. It's never a no. So 00:03:07.539 --> 00:03:10.520 tell them a little bit about you that I probably 00:03:10.520 --> 00:03:12.500 left out. And then we're going to get into this 00:03:12.500 --> 00:03:15.639 conversation tonight. Well, you know, I'm a daughter. 00:03:16.250 --> 00:03:19.629 mom. And like you said, you know, I'm an educator. 00:03:20.789 --> 00:03:24.150 I love the Lord. And I am one of those people 00:03:24.150 --> 00:03:27.930 like our zillion. I just don't quit. So we are 00:03:27.930 --> 00:03:34.389 here. I have a few degrees. I am a doctor. I 00:03:34.389 --> 00:03:37.770 love learning. I consider myself a lifelong learner. 00:03:37.909 --> 00:03:41.550 But at the same time, I am totally submitted 00:03:41.550 --> 00:03:45.889 to whatever God wants to do. in my life and through 00:03:45.889 --> 00:03:48.449 my life. So that's a little bit about me. How 00:03:48.449 --> 00:03:55.169 y 'all doing? And you are like, like I said, 00:03:55.610 --> 00:03:59.969 she is, but she is totally not giving y 'all 00:03:59.969 --> 00:04:05.569 everything about her. What do you want me to 00:04:05.569 --> 00:04:07.930 know? You know, I'm an author, you know, so, 00:04:08.150 --> 00:04:10.349 you know, I have a school, I have a lot of different 00:04:10.349 --> 00:04:13.610 things. Exactly. That's what I'm talking about. 00:04:13.740 --> 00:04:17.600 And I was like, what's going on? Exactly. But 00:04:17.600 --> 00:04:19.800 one thing I love, like I said, whenever I call 00:04:19.800 --> 00:04:22.740 you, it's only a phone call for you. And I appreciate 00:04:22.740 --> 00:04:26.639 that. So y 'all know, on dating violin winning, 00:04:26.899 --> 00:04:29.839 we can't start the conversation off without playing 00:04:29.839 --> 00:04:31.939 the game, but so we're going to start it off 00:04:31.939 --> 00:04:35.300 with a little game. This game is called Date 00:04:35.300 --> 00:04:44.300 Him or the Meeting. OK. So great. carry great 00:04:44.300 --> 00:04:50.399 career, but inconsistent communication. Delete 00:04:50.399 --> 00:04:56.879 them. Because you can be great at your job and 00:04:56.879 --> 00:05:00.199 not a great partner. And if I'm dating you, I 00:05:00.199 --> 00:05:02.240 want you to be a great partner because I'm not 00:05:02.240 --> 00:05:06.420 dating you for no reason. I'm dating you to see 00:05:06.420 --> 00:05:12.680 if, you know, we fit or the person has you know, 00:05:12.680 --> 00:05:15.819 it's committed so that we can have something 00:05:15.819 --> 00:05:19.740 real towards marriage. So if you're spotting 00:05:19.740 --> 00:05:22.160 on communication, but you're great at work, that 00:05:22.160 --> 00:05:24.079 means that you're great at communicating on your 00:05:24.079 --> 00:05:30.139 job. And most people, they make a priority for 00:05:30.139 --> 00:05:34.339 things that matter to them. So spotty communication 00:05:34.339 --> 00:05:38.540 is an indicator that I don't matter. And it's 00:05:38.540 --> 00:05:41.389 not worth my time. we'll let him find the woman 00:05:41.389 --> 00:05:46.889 who that's acceptable. But for me, deleted. All 00:05:46.889 --> 00:05:51.949 right, so I got a few more for you. Okay. So 00:05:51.949 --> 00:05:56.689 successful businessman, but always working. I 00:05:56.689 --> 00:05:59.930 think it kind of falls in the same vein. It depends 00:05:59.930 --> 00:06:03.069 on how he uses his time when he's not at work, 00:06:03.589 --> 00:06:08.250 right? Because a successful businessman is going 00:06:08.250 --> 00:06:11.459 to be working, but in his spare time, how does 00:06:11.459 --> 00:06:15.120 he make room for the woman in his life? Because 00:06:15.120 --> 00:06:17.379 you can be creative. There are ways to make it 00:06:17.379 --> 00:06:19.980 happen. I'm a busy woman. But if I want to be 00:06:19.980 --> 00:06:22.360 with someone, there's ways for us to spend time 00:06:22.360 --> 00:06:28.420 together, despite our schedules. His relationship 00:06:28.420 --> 00:06:34.019 with his ex is a little too friendly. He's all 00:06:34.019 --> 00:06:39.230 high friendly. If you and the X is doing way 00:06:39.230 --> 00:06:41.350 too much, you know, like she's just depending 00:06:41.350 --> 00:06:44.970 on you for like everything and you're still have 00:06:44.970 --> 00:06:48.550 that door open, then that would allow me to believe 00:06:48.550 --> 00:06:52.930 that the relationship is not over. It's an X 00:06:52.930 --> 00:06:56.189 for a reason. It's X out. It's in the past. But 00:06:56.189 --> 00:06:58.189 if you're too friendly, that means it's in the 00:06:58.189 --> 00:07:00.230 future. It's in the present. It's in the now. 00:07:00.709 --> 00:07:03.949 So that is potentially an indicator for me to 00:07:03.949 --> 00:07:07.680 kind of delete him. because he may want to just 00:07:07.680 --> 00:07:12.720 be with her and that's cool. He's romantic but 00:07:12.720 --> 00:07:16.120 not ambitious. Yeah, that's going to be a no 00:07:16.120 --> 00:07:21.399 for me because this is to leave him because I'm 00:07:21.399 --> 00:07:23.360 one of those people who believe that the hustle 00:07:23.360 --> 00:07:25.939 is sold separately. who to have it or you don't. 00:07:26.899 --> 00:07:30.000 You can watch me work, you can watch me do all 00:07:30.000 --> 00:07:32.319 the things, you can watch me doctor to doctor, 00:07:32.879 --> 00:07:36.779 but if you have no ambition, if you have no drive 00:07:36.779 --> 00:07:39.339 of your own, you watching me is not gonna get 00:07:39.339 --> 00:07:41.680 you fired up. And one thing I know about people 00:07:41.680 --> 00:07:44.839 who are very driven, they get annoyed and irked 00:07:44.839 --> 00:07:48.439 by people who are not, because it's like, yo, 00:07:48.459 --> 00:07:51.819 you should be doing something. And you're romantic, 00:07:51.980 --> 00:07:56.439 you're nice, okay? But after you're nice, I'm 00:07:56.439 --> 00:07:58.939 going to need you to have a direction, a vision, 00:07:59.519 --> 00:08:02.220 something that you're working towards more than 00:08:02.220 --> 00:08:04.720 just trying to win me over. Because when it's 00:08:04.720 --> 00:08:07.660 all said and done, you need to have a vision 00:08:07.660 --> 00:08:10.720 that you are working towards so that your life 00:08:10.720 --> 00:08:12.740 can be fulfilled. I can't be your whole life. 00:08:13.319 --> 00:08:18.019 Nor should you. I like that. No, last one before 00:08:18.019 --> 00:08:21.040 we get into these questions. Amazing personality. 00:08:21.680 --> 00:08:27.019 but he's not your normal physical type. Great 00:08:27.019 --> 00:08:30.879 personality. Great personality. Physically, maybe, 00:08:31.480 --> 00:08:38.259 you know, I date him because of his personality 00:08:38.259 --> 00:08:44.580 is great. And, you know, you got to give people 00:08:44.580 --> 00:08:48.120 a chance. So physically, you know, that's something 00:08:48.120 --> 00:08:50.860 you can work on. I think that it's probably easier 00:08:50.860 --> 00:08:54.220 to work on someone's physical than their character. 00:08:54.820 --> 00:08:56.759 So if you have bad character, that's an automatic 00:08:56.759 --> 00:09:01.759 delete. Automatic for me. But if your character 00:09:01.759 --> 00:09:04.580 is good, you got good personality. You have the 00:09:04.580 --> 00:09:08.620 right foundation. The other stuff can be okay. 00:09:09.399 --> 00:09:11.659 Okay. All right. Let's get into these questions. 00:09:12.279 --> 00:09:15.600 All right. Let's go. Come on. All right. When 00:09:15.600 --> 00:09:20.360 did becoming that independent strong woman? become 00:09:20.360 --> 00:09:24.220 something that was a bad thing? Well, it's because 00:09:24.220 --> 00:09:29.720 like nowadays, you know, one thing about me, 00:09:29.820 --> 00:09:32.940 I was raised by a very strong black woman, but 00:09:32.940 --> 00:09:35.879 my mom has been married for over 40 years, my 00:09:35.879 --> 00:09:40.379 father. However, what I'm finding now, which 00:09:40.379 --> 00:09:42.919 was very different for my parents and their generation 00:09:42.919 --> 00:09:50.539 is on the dating scene in general. A lot of men, 00:09:51.220 --> 00:09:53.960 they will tell you, I want a strong woman. I 00:09:53.960 --> 00:09:55.980 want an independent woman. I want a woman who 00:09:55.980 --> 00:09:58.019 makes her own woman. I want a woman who makes 00:09:58.019 --> 00:09:59.919 her own money. I want a woman who's articulate 00:09:59.919 --> 00:10:03.039 and who has connections and networking and ambitious. 00:10:04.100 --> 00:10:06.379 And I find that a lot of these men are using 00:10:06.379 --> 00:10:10.759 this as a point of pray. They're using this to 00:10:10.759 --> 00:10:14.679 kind of get them the life that they couldn't 00:10:14.679 --> 00:10:17.679 get on their own to kind of get them into rooms 00:10:17.679 --> 00:10:19.799 that they couldn't get in on their own. So I 00:10:19.799 --> 00:10:23.779 do think that the talented woman, the anointed 00:10:23.779 --> 00:10:27.460 woman, the leader woman has to be a little bit 00:10:27.460 --> 00:10:31.340 more cautious to ask herself, what are they doing 00:10:31.340 --> 00:10:35.340 here? And what is their motive? Because a lot 00:10:35.340 --> 00:10:38.820 of men are in this place where they're seeking 00:10:38.820 --> 00:10:42.179 out women and they're not even they're tight. 00:10:42.620 --> 00:10:45.480 but they will play the role just long enough 00:10:45.480 --> 00:10:48.559 because they're looking for a meal ticket. We're 00:10:48.559 --> 00:10:53.820 looking for someone to live off, leech off, and 00:10:53.820 --> 00:10:55.360 that's something that needs to be considered. 00:10:56.039 --> 00:10:59.399 I like that. I agree with that. There are a lot 00:10:59.399 --> 00:11:01.799 of them that are doing that, in our honesty. 00:11:02.340 --> 00:11:06.639 They are. So, okay. Next one, it's being taken 00:11:06.639 --> 00:11:09.399 harder when you are successful and established. 00:11:10.930 --> 00:11:16.909 Yes, because you have less people who get you, 00:11:17.090 --> 00:11:19.509 understand you, who you can have conversations 00:11:19.509 --> 00:11:22.830 about. Because everybody just wants to be themselves. 00:11:23.009 --> 00:11:25.570 They want to let their hair down. And the higher 00:11:25.570 --> 00:11:28.710 you go up, the less people that are up. There's 00:11:28.710 --> 00:11:31.450 a lot of people at the bottom. The pickings are 00:11:31.450 --> 00:11:34.049 heavy at the bottom. But if you want choice fruit, 00:11:34.210 --> 00:11:35.789 you have to move up the tree. You have to climb 00:11:35.789 --> 00:11:38.830 up the tree. My father has a huge mango tree 00:11:38.830 --> 00:11:41.940 in his backyard. and one thing about the ones 00:11:41.940 --> 00:11:43.740 that fall on the ground if you don't grab them 00:11:43.740 --> 00:11:46.080 quickly they soil the birds come and get them 00:11:46.080 --> 00:11:49.559 animals come and get them but usually when we're 00:11:49.559 --> 00:11:52.139 looking for mangoes we're always looking up we're 00:11:52.139 --> 00:11:54.039 looking for the one that's still hanging high 00:11:54.039 --> 00:11:57.379 on the tree and the higher you go up you become 00:11:57.379 --> 00:12:00.379 like that choice mango so you may have to wait 00:12:00.379 --> 00:12:04.139 longer but it's worth it because the person that 00:12:04.139 --> 00:12:08.039 comes after you was looking for you and not just 00:12:08.039 --> 00:12:11.220 choosing Which one is the least bruised from 00:12:11.220 --> 00:12:15.019 the grind? Y 'all hold on, hold on, hold on, 00:12:15.019 --> 00:12:24.519 cuz. The way that she just swapped that. Mark 00:12:24.519 --> 00:12:32.139 under that. That was good, that was good, because 00:12:32.139 --> 00:12:36.289 that right there. That could go for men as well 00:12:36.289 --> 00:12:41.309 because there are a lot of us. Yes. There's really 00:12:41.309 --> 00:12:44.350 levels to it. I think people don't realize it, 00:12:44.409 --> 00:12:48.350 but there is. There's levels to this anointing 00:12:48.350 --> 00:12:51.169 that everybody ain't able to handle or everything 00:12:51.169 --> 00:12:55.649 that comes with them. What is the difference 00:12:55.649 --> 00:12:58.809 between a man being intimidated by you and simply 00:12:58.809 --> 00:13:04.620 realizing you're not compatible? So when someone's 00:13:04.620 --> 00:13:08.120 intimidated by you, you know, everybody thinks 00:13:08.120 --> 00:13:13.100 intimidation is just scared or They have a bit 00:13:13.100 --> 00:13:18.039 of trepidation towards you If someone is intimidated 00:13:18.039 --> 00:13:19.940 you they could be intimidated by the way you 00:13:19.940 --> 00:13:23.659 look by the way you speak by your success and 00:13:23.659 --> 00:13:27.240 That may for them cause them to either want to 00:13:27.240 --> 00:13:30.710 lower you so that you are at a position that 00:13:30.710 --> 00:13:33.669 they feel that they can control or that may cause 00:13:33.669 --> 00:13:39.090 them to be in a position where they want to see 00:13:39.090 --> 00:13:42.269 what it takes to kind of break you. Some people 00:13:42.269 --> 00:13:44.570 may say, you know, I don't want to deal with 00:13:44.570 --> 00:13:47.009 this. She's going to be too much. She's going 00:13:47.009 --> 00:13:48.470 to want things from me. She's going to want me 00:13:48.470 --> 00:13:50.610 to shift. She's going to want me to change. That's 00:13:50.610 --> 00:13:53.149 intimidating. I don't want that. And then, you 00:13:53.149 --> 00:13:55.169 know, you talk about someone just not being attracted 00:13:55.169 --> 00:13:58.230 to you. I think that goes on both sides. Everybody 00:13:58.230 --> 00:14:00.789 likes something different. God made us also unique. 00:14:01.929 --> 00:14:03.610 He made our personalities different. He made 00:14:03.610 --> 00:14:06.029 the way we look different, the way we sound different. 00:14:06.629 --> 00:14:09.330 So some people may not be attracted to you and 00:14:09.330 --> 00:14:11.029 it has nothing to do with intimidation. They 00:14:11.029 --> 00:14:13.769 just don't like you because one thing about it 00:14:13.769 --> 00:14:17.940 is If you are really into someone, the intimidation 00:14:17.940 --> 00:14:21.019 goes down, and you're curious. And that curiosity 00:14:21.019 --> 00:14:25.980 will make you seek them out over others. So sometimes 00:14:25.980 --> 00:14:28.379 it could be intimidation, whereas other times 00:14:28.379 --> 00:14:31.080 it could just simply be, you're just not my cup 00:14:31.080 --> 00:14:37.980 of tea. And that's fine. And I think we have 00:14:37.980 --> 00:14:40.139 to get to the point where we realize we are not 00:14:40.139 --> 00:14:42.620 a Facebook status. Everybody ain't gotta like 00:14:42.620 --> 00:14:47.429 us. Absolutely That's fine because the the quicker 00:14:47.429 --> 00:14:49.870 you get the people who don't like you don't appreciate 00:14:49.870 --> 00:14:52.190 appreciate you value You don't really kind of 00:14:52.190 --> 00:14:53.730 want to be with you. Why would you want to be 00:14:53.730 --> 00:14:56.789 with them? Allow them to go and find the community 00:14:56.789 --> 00:14:59.309 the people that they like if they think that 00:14:59.309 --> 00:15:02.149 you're too boring your nerd or You don't have 00:15:02.149 --> 00:15:04.990 enough time. There are people who don't mind 00:15:04.990 --> 00:15:09.080 if all you have is an hour a week so We have 00:15:09.080 --> 00:15:12.139 to just be comfortable with rejection and knowing 00:15:12.139 --> 00:15:14.059 that just because someone didn't choose you or 00:15:14.059 --> 00:15:16.340 didn't like you, it doesn't mean that there's 00:15:16.340 --> 00:15:18.440 something wrong with you. You're enough with 00:15:18.440 --> 00:15:21.360 the way that God created you. And if someone 00:15:21.360 --> 00:15:23.740 doesn't want to be a part of that, free them 00:15:23.740 --> 00:15:29.179 to find the circus, the party, the commitment 00:15:29.179 --> 00:15:31.960 that they're looking for. And you can't be all 00:15:31.960 --> 00:15:34.879 twisted out about it. It's one person out of 00:15:34.879 --> 00:15:37.940 eight billion. That's a lot of options. Okay. 00:15:38.080 --> 00:15:41.639 Amen. And I think also you got to find somebody 00:15:41.639 --> 00:15:44.679 that is going to force you to take time for you. 00:15:45.460 --> 00:15:47.940 When you find somebody that's like, you know 00:15:47.940 --> 00:15:51.279 what? I know you're busy. I know you got all 00:15:51.279 --> 00:15:54.200 of this going on. I'm not taking no for an answer 00:15:54.200 --> 00:15:59.120 today. You got to take some time for you. When 00:15:59.120 --> 00:16:02.539 you find that person, you appreciate them. Because 00:16:02.539 --> 00:16:06.379 it's a sign that they care. Exactly. All right. 00:16:06.539 --> 00:16:10.480 Exactly. So, we're going to go with two more 00:16:10.480 --> 00:16:13.340 questions before we let you go tonight. Okay. 00:16:14.259 --> 00:16:17.460 All right. All right. What is one standard you 00:16:17.460 --> 00:16:23.139 refuse to lower? One standard I refuse to lower 00:16:23.139 --> 00:16:29.139 is if I'm dating someone, they have to already 00:16:29.139 --> 00:16:31.820 be at the table with God. They have to know God. 00:16:31.980 --> 00:16:34.679 They have to hear God. You have to be more than 00:16:34.679 --> 00:16:37.799 just a simple church goer. I'm not lowering my 00:16:37.799 --> 00:16:40.720 standard on my faith in who I choose to partner 00:16:40.720 --> 00:16:46.279 with. I'm also not lowering my standard on growth 00:16:46.279 --> 00:16:50.519 and self -improvement. You don't have to be where 00:16:50.519 --> 00:16:54.519 I am, but there has to be a path, a mindset and 00:16:54.519 --> 00:16:58.600 a willingness for growth, growth in God, growth 00:16:58.600 --> 00:17:02.639 in self. I believe in faith. I also believe in 00:17:02.639 --> 00:17:05.779 family. These are things I'm not willing to lower. 00:17:05.980 --> 00:17:08.500 I have a standard in those areas. And like I 00:17:08.500 --> 00:17:10.279 said, if you're not a fit, you're just not a 00:17:10.279 --> 00:17:12.599 fit. I don't have a problem with that because 00:17:12.599 --> 00:17:15.579 again, when the fruit is higher on the tree, 00:17:15.740 --> 00:17:19.039 it's willing to wait for the person who's looking 00:17:19.039 --> 00:17:24.059 for it. So. And I got two more questions. I got 00:17:24.059 --> 00:17:26.460 one more and I got another one for you because 00:17:26.460 --> 00:17:30.970 this last one. It's going to be abusing. All 00:17:30.970 --> 00:17:34.009 right, so here it goes. Are you single because 00:17:34.009 --> 00:17:37.250 God is protecting you or because you're protecting 00:17:37.250 --> 00:17:45.190 yourself? I would say I don't think I'm necessarily 00:17:45.190 --> 00:17:48.269 protecting myself. I think I'm single because 00:17:48.269 --> 00:17:53.880 this is my season to be single. I believe that 00:17:53.880 --> 00:17:57.140 there are so many things that I am still growing 00:17:57.140 --> 00:18:00.339 in, that I'm building for God, that I'm building 00:18:00.339 --> 00:18:03.599 for myself, building for my future, my legacy. 00:18:03.960 --> 00:18:06.140 And if there's someone who comes along and they 00:18:06.140 --> 00:18:08.640 compliment that, we can build together, that's 00:18:08.640 --> 00:18:13.859 fine. I'm open to someone. I've dated people 00:18:13.859 --> 00:18:16.180 in the past, but if they're not a fit, they're 00:18:16.180 --> 00:18:20.269 just not a fit. I do believe that God knows all 00:18:20.269 --> 00:18:22.809 things, and I do believe that when God says, 00:18:23.089 --> 00:18:25.569 you know, He creates man for woman and bone of 00:18:25.569 --> 00:18:27.789 my bone and flesh of my flesh, that means that 00:18:27.789 --> 00:18:30.829 there's going to be a chemistry, there's going 00:18:30.829 --> 00:18:33.369 to be a connection, and there's going to be a 00:18:33.369 --> 00:18:38.029 supernatural fusion that only God can give to 00:18:38.029 --> 00:18:44.349 people. When that is found, I think that there 00:18:44.349 --> 00:18:47.480 wouldn't be any hesitation. with a connection 00:18:47.480 --> 00:18:49.740 like that. I do think a lot of times as single 00:18:49.740 --> 00:18:53.019 people, we're forcing ourselves on other people 00:18:53.019 --> 00:18:55.740 because we don't want to be alone or we have 00:18:55.740 --> 00:18:58.680 a biological time clock or our other friends 00:18:58.680 --> 00:19:01.319 are doing this or people are doing that or some 00:19:01.319 --> 00:19:03.680 people, they get in a relationship just because 00:19:03.680 --> 00:19:05.220 they don't have purpose and meaning in their 00:19:05.220 --> 00:19:07.839 life. So they don't have meaning and they go 00:19:07.839 --> 00:19:10.160 and ruin other people's life. I would always 00:19:10.160 --> 00:19:14.519 tell people, listen, find God, find your work. 00:19:14.920 --> 00:19:18.900 find your purpose, then find a partner. If you're 00:19:18.900 --> 00:19:21.960 doing it out of order, you are gonna hurt someone 00:19:21.960 --> 00:19:26.380 great and end up with someone not so great. So 00:19:26.380 --> 00:19:29.660 find God so he can give you identity. Find your 00:19:29.660 --> 00:19:33.180 work so that you can have purpose that is bigger 00:19:33.180 --> 00:19:37.200 than yourself and then choose a partner that 00:19:37.200 --> 00:19:40.920 will compliment the work that God has given you 00:19:40.920 --> 00:19:45.640 to do on this earth. Amen. Amen. So I got one 00:19:45.640 --> 00:19:49.920 final question for you, but do the let's give 00:19:49.920 --> 00:19:52.039 real question for you. All right, no problem. 00:19:52.799 --> 00:20:00.759 So if a man is watching this white man, and he's 00:20:00.759 --> 00:20:04.140 thanking to himself, she's beautiful, she's successful, 00:20:04.920 --> 00:20:09.720 she's annoying, and she's single. But she's probably 00:20:09.720 --> 00:20:12.740 out of my league. What would you tell that man 00:20:12.740 --> 00:20:16.119 that's watching this right now? He's probably 00:20:16.119 --> 00:20:25.160 correct so Oh Right Right If you are looking 00:20:25.160 --> 00:20:27.119 at a woman and you're thinking she's out of your 00:20:27.119 --> 00:20:30.440 league and there's nothing in you That wants 00:20:30.440 --> 00:20:33.259 to either put yourself in that league or to go 00:20:33.259 --> 00:20:36.799 after it then leave her alone and choose what's 00:20:36.799 --> 00:20:41.130 near you Again, it's the mango So if I'm looking 00:20:41.130 --> 00:20:43.230 up and I'm saying she's out of my league is because 00:20:43.230 --> 00:20:46.529 I'm lower or it's because that I know there's 00:20:46.529 --> 00:20:49.769 things I need to correct. I do believe when you 00:20:49.769 --> 00:20:52.329 see people in purpose, if you can't add to their 00:20:52.329 --> 00:20:57.049 purpose, then it's best that you allow them to 00:20:57.049 --> 00:21:01.569 stay free. I've seen many men whose lives have 00:21:01.569 --> 00:21:05.670 been derailed because there was a woman who said 00:21:05.670 --> 00:21:07.829 you're my husband, you're my man, you're my this, 00:21:07.970 --> 00:21:10.549 you're my that. and they looked down and they 00:21:10.549 --> 00:21:13.809 chose someone because of what was said rather 00:21:13.809 --> 00:21:15.990 than continuing their work. And it was out of 00:21:15.990 --> 00:21:18.670 season, out of time and regretful. I've seen 00:21:18.670 --> 00:21:22.150 a lot of women who have, oh, I'm gonna just give 00:21:22.150 --> 00:21:25.170 them a chance. And when you're just out here 00:21:25.170 --> 00:21:28.029 giving out chances, then you set yourself up 00:21:28.029 --> 00:21:32.430 for counterfeits. So if you are dating at a big 00:21:32.430 --> 00:21:35.119 old age, you need to be intentional. you need 00:21:35.119 --> 00:21:37.279 to know what you want you need to know who you 00:21:37.279 --> 00:21:40.400 are and when you know what you want as a man 00:21:40.400 --> 00:21:43.740 nothing stops you not even the she's out of my 00:21:43.740 --> 00:21:46.039 league because when a man wants a car that he 00:21:46.039 --> 00:21:48.720 wants he goes get it he'll go get three jobs 00:21:48.720 --> 00:21:51.440 to get that car when a man sees something that 00:21:51.440 --> 00:21:53.160 he wants that's one thing i know about real men 00:21:53.160 --> 00:21:57.259 real men do not stop at a one if it's something 00:21:57.259 --> 00:21:58.880 they want they're gonna figure out how to get 00:21:58.880 --> 00:22:04.549 it so a want is one thing But what are you going 00:22:04.549 --> 00:22:07.190 to do about that one? And if you are already 00:22:07.190 --> 00:22:11.410 defeated within yourself, then you're not going 00:22:11.410 --> 00:22:14.490 to make it happen. You got to have something 00:22:14.490 --> 00:22:17.089 in you that's willing to make it happen. And 00:22:17.089 --> 00:22:19.269 this is a life principle, not just for dating, 00:22:19.950 --> 00:22:25.210 but for life. Every doctor, every lawyer, every 00:22:25.210 --> 00:22:28.450 construction worker, every business owner, they 00:22:28.450 --> 00:22:31.289 had obstacles. And they didn't say, oh, me owning 00:22:31.289 --> 00:22:33.619 a business is out of my league. the ones who 00:22:33.619 --> 00:22:35.839 wanted to do it, they found a way to make it 00:22:35.839 --> 00:22:39.900 happen. They removed the excuses and they got 00:22:39.900 --> 00:22:43.839 to it. So anytime I feel like something is harder 00:22:43.839 --> 00:22:46.279 than me, higher than me, then I put myself in 00:22:46.279 --> 00:22:49.480 a space where I can compete at that level or 00:22:49.480 --> 00:22:52.420 I can be in that room. And then what I find is 00:22:52.420 --> 00:22:56.059 I'm growing. And as I grow, I go higher and I 00:22:56.059 --> 00:22:59.500 meet people who are higher. So that's just my 00:22:59.500 --> 00:23:03.529 take. I love that, I love that, I love that. 00:23:03.869 --> 00:23:08.009 So let's get real. Okay. All tonight. Dating 00:23:08.009 --> 00:23:12.589 while I'm doing it and being a powerful woman 00:23:12.589 --> 00:23:15.829 of God, like you are, could sometimes be difficult. 00:23:16.529 --> 00:23:19.970 But I want you to leave my audience with a little 00:23:19.970 --> 00:23:23.390 bit of hope. Leave them with some hope. And then 00:23:23.390 --> 00:23:25.589 I want you to tell them where they can find you 00:23:25.589 --> 00:23:31.279 at. Absolutely. It can be difficult because There's 00:23:31.279 --> 00:23:37.259 a standard that God gives, women of faith. We 00:23:37.259 --> 00:23:41.759 can't date like everyone else. We have to be 00:23:41.759 --> 00:23:46.140 selective. We have to hear God's voice. And there's 00:23:46.140 --> 00:23:48.519 many times where there may be someone that you're 00:23:48.519 --> 00:23:50.819 into and God may say, cut it out, because there's 00:23:50.819 --> 00:23:53.740 some things that I see that you don't. Um, so 00:23:53.740 --> 00:23:56.759 is it hard? Yes. But is it worth it? Yes. Because 00:23:56.759 --> 00:24:00.019 when God does make friendship connections or 00:24:00.019 --> 00:24:02.759 dating connections for you, they're going to 00:24:02.759 --> 00:24:06.859 be more enriched. They're going to be more aligned 00:24:06.859 --> 00:24:10.180 and in sync with where you're going and where 00:24:10.180 --> 00:24:12.099 you are in your faith. They're going to be people 00:24:12.099 --> 00:24:15.599 that help you stretch and grow. So is it hard, 00:24:15.680 --> 00:24:19.019 but is it impossible? No, it's actually protecting 00:24:19.019 --> 00:24:21.559 you from people you probably shouldn't have been 00:24:21.559 --> 00:24:23.950 with in the first place because one thing I want 00:24:23.950 --> 00:24:28.269 you to know as people of God is you are not missing 00:24:28.269 --> 00:24:32.470 anything so you don't have to fear that and anything 00:24:32.470 --> 00:24:35.289 that is meant for you God won't let it pass you 00:24:35.289 --> 00:24:40.470 by. Anything that is meant for you God won't 00:24:40.470 --> 00:24:43.710 let you pass by anybody that has left your life 00:24:43.710 --> 00:24:47.710 or exited your life that means that they're not 00:24:47.710 --> 00:24:52.420 required for your future. If you can understand 00:24:52.420 --> 00:24:55.220 that you won't get stuck in the past and you'll 00:24:55.220 --> 00:24:58.319 know that anything that's for me God won't let 00:24:58.319 --> 00:25:00.900 me back won't let pass me by Well, you guys can 00:25:00.900 --> 00:25:04.400 find me under Ebony solutions. I'm on all the 00:25:04.400 --> 00:25:09.680 handles And I look forward to continuing this 00:25:09.680 --> 00:25:12.779 conversation or any other conversations So my 00:25:12.779 --> 00:25:15.559 handle is at Ebony solutions. You can check me 00:25:15.559 --> 00:25:20.559 out on YouTube or Instagram and say hello God 00:25:20.559 --> 00:25:23.299 bless you all. As I always say, sometimes our 00:25:23.299 --> 00:25:25.220 disappointments are nothing more than God's appointments. 00:25:25.759 --> 00:25:27.920 Meaning sometimes we look at it as bad. God is 00:25:27.920 --> 00:25:30.559 only telling me the way I'm far good. And guess 00:25:30.559 --> 00:25:33.160 what, y 'all? I got a big announcement. Starting 00:25:33.160 --> 00:25:37.799 this week, starting this week over on Facebook, 00:25:38.480 --> 00:25:43.940 on Saturdays, you will catch the first five minutes 00:25:43.940 --> 00:25:47.710 of every episode that we do. over on Facebook 00:25:47.710 --> 00:25:51.069 under the James J. Sclepper Network page and 00:25:51.069 --> 00:25:53.809 on the James J. Sclepper da Derry page. And the 00:25:53.809 --> 00:25:57.029 reason why we're doing that is to create traffic 00:25:57.029 --> 00:26:01.309 back on Facebook over to YouTube. So you get 00:26:01.309 --> 00:26:05.549 the first five minutes on Facebook. But after 00:26:05.549 --> 00:26:08.089 that, you've got to go over here to YouTube to 00:26:08.089 --> 00:26:12.920 test the bull episode. So you all Stay blessed. 00:26:13.440 --> 00:26:16.240 We are excited about what God is doing. He is 00:26:16.240 --> 00:26:19.460 doing some amazing things. Stay blessed. Be blessed 00:26:19.460 --> 00:26:22.059 and be a blessing to someone else. And I'll see 00:26:22.059 --> 00:26:25.279 y 'all on tomorrow night for World Talk Monday. 00:26:25.740 --> 00:26:43.549 God bless y 'all. Peace. Just comment know what 00:26:43.549 --> 00:26:45.730 I need y 'all to do. It's like this says right 00:26:45.730 --> 00:26:49.109 here like and subscribe Also, I need y 'all to 00:26:49.109 --> 00:26:51.750 share and I need y 'all to tag and I need y 'all 00:26:51.750 --> 00:26:54.509 to turn on that notification bell over here on 00:26:54.509 --> 00:26:57.769 YouTube That lets YouTube know that you like 00:26:57.769 --> 00:27:01.349 content like this on behalf of everyone here 00:27:01.349 --> 00:27:05.309 at the network We appreciate you because we couldn't 00:27:05.309 --> 00:27:08.319 release content the way that we do without your 00:27:08.319 --> 00:27:11.720 support. So as I always say, sometimes at disappointments, 00:27:11.799 --> 00:27:13.640 I know the more that God's appointments mean 00:27:13.640 --> 00:27:16.359 it. Sometimes if we look at it as bad, God is 00:27:16.359 --> 00:27:18.579 only telling me to ramp up our good. Stay blessed, 00:27:18.859 --> 00:27:20.880 be blessed, to be a blessing to someone else. 00:27:21.400 --> 00:27:24.059 And I'll see y 'all on the next episode. Peace.