Yeah, yeah, you say you say you say you're ready
today. You say you're ready. You feel like it's
fate. Join Jays and Dr. Jays Sunday 10 p .m.
Don't be late for dating while anointing Sunday
10 p .m. It's great What is up? What is up? What
is up? What is up? What is up? What is up? What
is up? What is up? What is up I'm talking about
dating ball anointing. Ladies and gentlemen,
ladies and gentlemen, I do not have my other
mama only with me tonight, but I got somebody
just as good. I got my big sister only with me
tonight. If you offer this topic, I knew I had
to bring somebody major to the screen. So let
me tell you, this woman of God. has multiple
businesses that I see once. This woman of God
is a multiple -time author. This woman of God
is a mother. This woman of God is a powerhouse.
This woman of God is a podcast host of Relevant
Solutions with Dr. Ebony. She is a doctor. She
is a director at a college. She is a like so
many things I could say about this woman and
God. She is my big sister. I'm talking about
Dr. Ebony Wallace. She has been on dating while
anointing a bunch. She's been on prosperity blueprint
once. She's been on Kingdom Boss mindset once.
And now we're bringing her back on dating while
anointing with you. start making your tour run,
you know your family. And from the first conversations
that C &I had, C &I became family automatically.
So ladies and gentlemen, put your blessings together
for my big sis, Dr. Ebony. What is going on sis?
How you doing? I'm doing well. How are you tonight?
I'm super excited about tonight's show. I'm blessed
and just ready to dig right in with my little
brother. How you doing? Yes, I am well. I'm well.
Bunched out week after week for coming because
you are a basic woman. And the fact that she
comes whenever her little brother calls her,
I appreciate that. And I'm the same way with
her. Anytime she calls me for anything, don't
worry about it. She says, I got your cover. We're
going to make it happen. It's never a no. So
tell them a little bit about you that I probably
left out. And then we're going to get into this
conversation tonight. Well, you know, I'm a daughter.
mom. And like you said, you know, I'm an educator.
I love the Lord. And I am one of those people
like our zillion. I just don't quit. So we are
here. I have a few degrees. I am a doctor. I
love learning. I consider myself a lifelong learner.
But at the same time, I am totally submitted
to whatever God wants to do. in my life and through
my life. So that's a little bit about me. How
y 'all doing? And you are like, like I said,
she is, but she is totally not giving y 'all
everything about her. What do you want me to
know? You know, I'm an author, you know, so,
you know, I have a school, I have a lot of different
things. Exactly. That's what I'm talking about.
And I was like, what's going on? Exactly. But
one thing I love, like I said, whenever I call
you, it's only a phone call for you. And I appreciate
that. So y 'all know, on dating violin winning,
we can't start the conversation off without playing
the game, but so we're going to start it off
with a little game. This game is called Date
Him or the Meeting. OK. So great. carry great
career, but inconsistent communication. Delete
them. Because you can be great at your job and
not a great partner. And if I'm dating you, I
want you to be a great partner because I'm not
dating you for no reason. I'm dating you to see
if, you know, we fit or the person has you know,
it's committed so that we can have something
real towards marriage. So if you're spotting
on communication, but you're great at work, that
means that you're great at communicating on your
job. And most people, they make a priority for
things that matter to them. So spotty communication
is an indicator that I don't matter. And it's
not worth my time. we'll let him find the woman
who that's acceptable. But for me, deleted. All
right, so I got a few more for you. Okay. So
successful businessman, but always working. I
think it kind of falls in the same vein. It depends
on how he uses his time when he's not at work,
right? Because a successful businessman is going
to be working, but in his spare time, how does
he make room for the woman in his life? Because
you can be creative. There are ways to make it
happen. I'm a busy woman. But if I want to be
with someone, there's ways for us to spend time
together, despite our schedules. His relationship
with his ex is a little too friendly. He's all
high friendly. If you and the X is doing way
too much, you know, like she's just depending
on you for like everything and you're still have
that door open, then that would allow me to believe
that the relationship is not over. It's an X
for a reason. It's X out. It's in the past. But
if you're too friendly, that means it's in the
future. It's in the present. It's in the now.
So that is potentially an indicator for me to
kind of delete him. because he may want to just
be with her and that's cool. He's romantic but
not ambitious. Yeah, that's going to be a no
for me because this is to leave him because I'm
one of those people who believe that the hustle
is sold separately. who to have it or you don't.
You can watch me work, you can watch me do all
the things, you can watch me doctor to doctor,
but if you have no ambition, if you have no drive
of your own, you watching me is not gonna get
you fired up. And one thing I know about people
who are very driven, they get annoyed and irked
by people who are not, because it's like, yo,
you should be doing something. And you're romantic,
you're nice, okay? But after you're nice, I'm
going to need you to have a direction, a vision,
something that you're working towards more than
just trying to win me over. Because when it's
all said and done, you need to have a vision
that you are working towards so that your life
can be fulfilled. I can't be your whole life.
Nor should you. I like that. No, last one before
we get into these questions. Amazing personality.
but he's not your normal physical type. Great
personality. Great personality. Physically, maybe,
you know, I date him because of his personality
is great. And, you know, you got to give people
a chance. So physically, you know, that's something
you can work on. I think that it's probably easier
to work on someone's physical than their character.
So if you have bad character, that's an automatic
delete. Automatic for me. But if your character
is good, you got good personality. You have the
right foundation. The other stuff can be okay.
Okay. All right. Let's get into these questions.
All right. Let's go. Come on. All right. When
did becoming that independent strong woman? become
something that was a bad thing? Well, it's because
like nowadays, you know, one thing about me,
I was raised by a very strong black woman, but
my mom has been married for over 40 years, my
father. However, what I'm finding now, which
was very different for my parents and their generation
is on the dating scene in general. A lot of men,
they will tell you, I want a strong woman. I
want an independent woman. I want a woman who
makes her own woman. I want a woman who makes
her own money. I want a woman who's articulate
and who has connections and networking and ambitious.
And I find that a lot of these men are using
this as a point of pray. They're using this to
kind of get them the life that they couldn't
get on their own to kind of get them into rooms
that they couldn't get in on their own. So I
do think that the talented woman, the anointed
woman, the leader woman has to be a little bit
more cautious to ask herself, what are they doing
here? And what is their motive? Because a lot
of men are in this place where they're seeking
out women and they're not even they're tight.
but they will play the role just long enough
because they're looking for a meal ticket. We're
looking for someone to live off, leech off, and
that's something that needs to be considered.
I like that. I agree with that. There are a lot
of them that are doing that, in our honesty.
They are. So, okay. Next one, it's being taken
harder when you are successful and established.
Yes, because you have less people who get you,
understand you, who you can have conversations
about. Because everybody just wants to be themselves.
They want to let their hair down. And the higher
you go up, the less people that are up. There's
a lot of people at the bottom. The pickings are
heavy at the bottom. But if you want choice fruit,
you have to move up the tree. You have to climb
up the tree. My father has a huge mango tree
in his backyard. and one thing about the ones
that fall on the ground if you don't grab them
quickly they soil the birds come and get them
animals come and get them but usually when we're
looking for mangoes we're always looking up we're
looking for the one that's still hanging high
on the tree and the higher you go up you become
like that choice mango so you may have to wait
longer but it's worth it because the person that
comes after you was looking for you and not just
choosing Which one is the least bruised from
the grind? Y 'all hold on, hold on, hold on,
cuz. The way that she just swapped that. Mark
under that. That was good, that was good, because
that right there. That could go for men as well
because there are a lot of us. Yes. There's really
levels to it. I think people don't realize it,
but there is. There's levels to this anointing
that everybody ain't able to handle or everything
that comes with them. What is the difference
between a man being intimidated by you and simply
realizing you're not compatible? So when someone's
intimidated by you, you know, everybody thinks
intimidation is just scared or They have a bit
of trepidation towards you If someone is intimidated
you they could be intimidated by the way you
look by the way you speak by your success and
That may for them cause them to either want to
lower you so that you are at a position that
they feel that they can control or that may cause
them to be in a position where they want to see
what it takes to kind of break you. Some people
may say, you know, I don't want to deal with
this. She's going to be too much. She's going
to want things from me. She's going to want me
to shift. She's going to want me to change. That's
intimidating. I don't want that. And then, you
know, you talk about someone just not being attracted
to you. I think that goes on both sides. Everybody
likes something different. God made us also unique.
He made our personalities different. He made
the way we look different, the way we sound different.
So some people may not be attracted to you and
it has nothing to do with intimidation. They
just don't like you because one thing about it
is If you are really into someone, the intimidation
goes down, and you're curious. And that curiosity
will make you seek them out over others. So sometimes
it could be intimidation, whereas other times
it could just simply be, you're just not my cup
of tea. And that's fine. And I think we have
to get to the point where we realize we are not
a Facebook status. Everybody ain't gotta like
us. Absolutely That's fine because the the quicker
you get the people who don't like you don't appreciate
appreciate you value You don't really kind of
want to be with you. Why would you want to be
with them? Allow them to go and find the community
the people that they like if they think that
you're too boring your nerd or You don't have
enough time. There are people who don't mind
if all you have is an hour a week so We have
to just be comfortable with rejection and knowing
that just because someone didn't choose you or
didn't like you, it doesn't mean that there's
something wrong with you. You're enough with
the way that God created you. And if someone
doesn't want to be a part of that, free them
to find the circus, the party, the commitment
that they're looking for. And you can't be all
twisted out about it. It's one person out of
eight billion. That's a lot of options. Okay.
Amen. And I think also you got to find somebody
that is going to force you to take time for you.
When you find somebody that's like, you know
what? I know you're busy. I know you got all
of this going on. I'm not taking no for an answer
today. You got to take some time for you. When
you find that person, you appreciate them. Because
it's a sign that they care. Exactly. All right.
Exactly. So, we're going to go with two more
questions before we let you go tonight. Okay.
All right. All right. What is one standard you
refuse to lower? One standard I refuse to lower
is if I'm dating someone, they have to already
be at the table with God. They have to know God.
They have to hear God. You have to be more than
just a simple church goer. I'm not lowering my
standard on my faith in who I choose to partner
with. I'm also not lowering my standard on growth
and self -improvement. You don't have to be where
I am, but there has to be a path, a mindset and
a willingness for growth, growth in God, growth
in self. I believe in faith. I also believe in
family. These are things I'm not willing to lower.
I have a standard in those areas. And like I
said, if you're not a fit, you're just not a
fit. I don't have a problem with that because
again, when the fruit is higher on the tree,
it's willing to wait for the person who's looking
for it. So. And I got two more questions. I got
one more and I got another one for you because
this last one. It's going to be abusing. All
right, so here it goes. Are you single because
God is protecting you or because you're protecting
yourself? I would say I don't think I'm necessarily
protecting myself. I think I'm single because
this is my season to be single. I believe that
there are so many things that I am still growing
in, that I'm building for God, that I'm building
for myself, building for my future, my legacy.
And if there's someone who comes along and they
compliment that, we can build together, that's
fine. I'm open to someone. I've dated people
in the past, but if they're not a fit, they're
just not a fit. I do believe that God knows all
things, and I do believe that when God says,
you know, He creates man for woman and bone of
my bone and flesh of my flesh, that means that
there's going to be a chemistry, there's going
to be a connection, and there's going to be a
supernatural fusion that only God can give to
people. When that is found, I think that there
wouldn't be any hesitation. with a connection
like that. I do think a lot of times as single
people, we're forcing ourselves on other people
because we don't want to be alone or we have
a biological time clock or our other friends
are doing this or people are doing that or some
people, they get in a relationship just because
they don't have purpose and meaning in their
life. So they don't have meaning and they go
and ruin other people's life. I would always
tell people, listen, find God, find your work.
find your purpose, then find a partner. If you're
doing it out of order, you are gonna hurt someone
great and end up with someone not so great. So
find God so he can give you identity. Find your
work so that you can have purpose that is bigger
than yourself and then choose a partner that
will compliment the work that God has given you
to do on this earth. Amen. Amen. So I got one
final question for you, but do the let's give
real question for you. All right, no problem.
So if a man is watching this white man, and he's
thanking to himself, she's beautiful, she's successful,
she's annoying, and she's single. But she's probably
out of my league. What would you tell that man
that's watching this right now? He's probably
correct so Oh Right Right If you are looking
at a woman and you're thinking she's out of your
league and there's nothing in you That wants
to either put yourself in that league or to go
after it then leave her alone and choose what's
near you Again, it's the mango So if I'm looking
up and I'm saying she's out of my league is because
I'm lower or it's because that I know there's
things I need to correct. I do believe when you
see people in purpose, if you can't add to their
purpose, then it's best that you allow them to
stay free. I've seen many men whose lives have
been derailed because there was a woman who said
you're my husband, you're my man, you're my this,
you're my that. and they looked down and they
chose someone because of what was said rather
than continuing their work. And it was out of
season, out of time and regretful. I've seen
a lot of women who have, oh, I'm gonna just give
them a chance. And when you're just out here
giving out chances, then you set yourself up
for counterfeits. So if you are dating at a big
old age, you need to be intentional. you need
to know what you want you need to know who you
are and when you know what you want as a man
nothing stops you not even the she's out of my
league because when a man wants a car that he
wants he goes get it he'll go get three jobs
to get that car when a man sees something that
he wants that's one thing i know about real men
real men do not stop at a one if it's something
they want they're gonna figure out how to get
it so a want is one thing But what are you going
to do about that one? And if you are already
defeated within yourself, then you're not going
to make it happen. You got to have something
in you that's willing to make it happen. And
this is a life principle, not just for dating,
but for life. Every doctor, every lawyer, every
construction worker, every business owner, they
had obstacles. And they didn't say, oh, me owning
a business is out of my league. the ones who
wanted to do it, they found a way to make it
happen. They removed the excuses and they got
to it. So anytime I feel like something is harder
than me, higher than me, then I put myself in
a space where I can compete at that level or
I can be in that room. And then what I find is
I'm growing. And as I grow, I go higher and I
meet people who are higher. So that's just my
take. I love that, I love that, I love that.
So let's get real. Okay. All tonight. Dating
while I'm doing it and being a powerful woman
of God, like you are, could sometimes be difficult.
But I want you to leave my audience with a little
bit of hope. Leave them with some hope. And then
I want you to tell them where they can find you
at. Absolutely. It can be difficult because There's
a standard that God gives, women of faith. We
can't date like everyone else. We have to be
selective. We have to hear God's voice. And there's
many times where there may be someone that you're
into and God may say, cut it out, because there's
some things that I see that you don't. Um, so
is it hard? Yes. But is it worth it? Yes. Because
when God does make friendship connections or
dating connections for you, they're going to
be more enriched. They're going to be more aligned
and in sync with where you're going and where
you are in your faith. They're going to be people
that help you stretch and grow. So is it hard,
but is it impossible? No, it's actually protecting
you from people you probably shouldn't have been
with in the first place because one thing I want
you to know as people of God is you are not missing
anything so you don't have to fear that and anything
that is meant for you God won't let it pass you
by. Anything that is meant for you God won't
let you pass by anybody that has left your life
or exited your life that means that they're not
required for your future. If you can understand
that you won't get stuck in the past and you'll
know that anything that's for me God won't let
me back won't let pass me by Well, you guys can
find me under Ebony solutions. I'm on all the
handles And I look forward to continuing this
conversation or any other conversations So my
handle is at Ebony solutions. You can check me
out on YouTube or Instagram and say hello God
bless you all. As I always say, sometimes our
disappointments are nothing more than God's appointments.
Meaning sometimes we look at it as bad. God is
only telling me the way I'm far good. And guess
what, y 'all? I got a big announcement. Starting
this week, starting this week over on Facebook,
on Saturdays, you will catch the first five minutes
of every episode that we do. over on Facebook
under the James J. Sclepper Network page and
on the James J. Sclepper da Derry page. And the
reason why we're doing that is to create traffic
back on Facebook over to YouTube. So you get
the first five minutes on Facebook. But after
that, you've got to go over here to YouTube to
test the bull episode. So you all Stay blessed.
We are excited about what God is doing. He is
doing some amazing things. Stay blessed. Be blessed
and be a blessing to someone else. And I'll see
y 'all on tomorrow night for World Talk Monday.
God bless y 'all. Peace. Just comment know what
I need y 'all to do. It's like this says right
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support. So as I always say, sometimes at disappointments,
I know the more that God's appointments mean
it. Sometimes if we look at it as bad, God is
only telling me to ramp up our good. Stay blessed,
be blessed, to be a blessing to someone else.
And I'll see y 'all on the next episode. Peace.