WEBVTT 00:00:20.239 --> 00:00:22.960 Yeah, yeah, you say you say you say you're ready 00:00:22.960 --> 00:00:25.839 today. You say you're ready. You feel like it's 00:00:25.839 --> 00:00:29.559 fate. Join Jay's and Dr. J. Sunday's 10 p .m. 00:00:30.440 --> 00:00:34.359 Don't be late for day and while anointing Sunday's 00:00:34.359 --> 00:00:42.280 10 p .m. It's great What is up? What is up? What 00:00:42.280 --> 00:00:44.960 is up? But one everyone everyone it is another 00:00:44.960 --> 00:00:48.140 day another time and another week for yours and 00:00:48.140 --> 00:00:51.679 my favorite Sunday night show. I'm talking about 00:00:51.679 --> 00:00:54.899 your favorite show, my favorite show. I'm talking 00:00:54.899 --> 00:00:57.000 about that while I'm doing it. You all, you all, 00:00:57.020 --> 00:01:00.560 you all. Look, you all tonight, I don't have 00:01:00.560 --> 00:01:03.840 my other mama on it with me, but I do have a 00:01:03.840 --> 00:01:08.459 new friend, a new brother, and I'm excited about 00:01:08.459 --> 00:01:11.180 getting into this discussion with him tonight. 00:01:12.060 --> 00:01:15.299 Let me give you all a brief bio of him and then 00:01:15.980 --> 00:01:18.319 We're going to get into this discussion tonight. 00:01:19.280 --> 00:01:22.879 Dr. Christopher Simmons is a senior pastor of 00:01:22.879 --> 00:01:27.420 Kingdom Everywhere in Dallas, Texas, and an entrepreneur, 00:01:28.299 --> 00:01:32.719 communicator, and naturally recognized as a kingdom 00:01:32.719 --> 00:01:36.000 leader with more than 25 years in ministries. 00:01:36.659 --> 00:01:39.920 15 years of pastoral leadership and 10 years 00:01:39.920 --> 00:01:45.409 serving in the office as a bishop. Known for 00:01:45.409 --> 00:01:50.390 his bold convictions, compelling communication 00:01:50.390 --> 00:01:54.810 style, and unapologetic commitment to biblical 00:01:54.810 --> 00:01:58.390 truth, Dr. Simmons has dedicated his life to 00:01:58.390 --> 00:02:01.450 developing leaders, strengthening churches, and 00:02:01.450 --> 00:02:04.370 equipping people to build healthy relationships 00:02:04.370 --> 00:02:08.090 rooted in purpose, character, and spiritual maturity. 00:02:08.509 --> 00:02:12.949 He is the founder of multiple kingdom -centered 00:02:15.770 --> 00:02:19.569 multiple Kingdom cities and activities, and the 00:02:19.569 --> 00:02:23.389 host of the State of Kingdom podcast, where he 00:02:23.389 --> 00:02:29.430 engages conversations with own faith, relationship, 00:02:29.750 --> 00:02:33.009 leadership, and culture, and the future of the 00:02:33.009 --> 00:02:36.949 search. Whether addressing audience from the 00:02:36.949 --> 00:02:39.949 pulpit, the boardroom, or behind the microphone, 00:02:40.270 --> 00:02:44.310 Dr. Simmons is known for challenging conventional 00:02:44.310 --> 00:02:50.039 thinking. while inspiring people to lead lives 00:02:50.039 --> 00:02:54.419 of carriage, conviction, and lasting impact. 00:02:55.060 --> 00:02:56.800 So ladies and gentlemen, ladies and gentlemen, 00:02:57.460 --> 00:03:00.159 I want y 'all to put y 'all's blessings together 00:03:00.159 --> 00:03:08.849 on tonight for my friend, my homie, Dr. Simmons, 00:03:09.150 --> 00:03:11.310 ladies and gentlemen, put your hands together 00:03:11.310 --> 00:03:14.469 for him as he comes on these days. And I need 00:03:14.469 --> 00:03:17.490 y 'all to like, share, tag, and subscribe because 00:03:17.490 --> 00:03:19.370 tonight we're going to have a great discussion. 00:03:19.990 --> 00:03:22.870 How are you doing, man of God? I'm doing excellent. 00:03:23.129 --> 00:03:26.349 Glad to be here. Glad to have you, man. Glad 00:03:26.349 --> 00:03:28.870 to have you. First off, we thank you for coming 00:03:28.870 --> 00:03:33.930 on on such late notice. I just happened to look 00:03:33.930 --> 00:03:40.740 and I text. You know we haven't recorded yourself 00:03:40.740 --> 00:03:43.360 apart for Danny while anointed tonight, right? 00:03:44.000 --> 00:03:46.580 And she's like, we haven't ever eaten. I'm like, 00:03:46.659 --> 00:03:48.879 no. I said, you just want to run a rerun or what 00:03:48.879 --> 00:03:51.680 you want to do? She said, I got somebody for 00:03:51.680 --> 00:03:54.259 you. I said, all right, let's hit it. Anybody 00:03:54.259 --> 00:03:56.539 she recommends, I already know they're going 00:03:56.539 --> 00:04:00.479 to come in and be excellent. So anybody she recommends, 00:04:00.639 --> 00:04:05.460 I'll ride with it. So we thank you for coming 00:04:05.460 --> 00:04:08.199 on. Absolutely. Yeah. Dr. Jackson has been a 00:04:08.199 --> 00:04:12.620 huge inspiration to me and my life and I'm excited 00:04:12.620 --> 00:04:15.699 to be here. Oh, yes, sir. Yes, sir. Yes, sir. 00:04:15.800 --> 00:04:19.459 She's definitely sees that type at once you meet 00:04:19.459 --> 00:04:22.259 her, you automatically have a connection with 00:04:22.259 --> 00:04:25.779 her. You can't help but to love her and have 00:04:25.779 --> 00:04:28.259 a connection with her from the moment you meet 00:04:28.259 --> 00:04:31.439 her. Absolutely. All right. So tonight, y 'all. 00:04:32.009 --> 00:04:36.029 We're hitting the conversation that is especially 00:04:36.029 --> 00:04:42.129 for the ladies, for the women tonight. So to 00:04:42.129 --> 00:04:44.810 the women, I want y 'all to tag y 'all's girlfriends, 00:04:45.329 --> 00:04:48.709 tag y 'all sisters, tag some of y 'all's cousins, 00:04:49.509 --> 00:04:52.329 and let them know that we talking directly to 00:04:52.329 --> 00:04:56.209 them tonight. If you wanting to date while anointed 00:04:56.209 --> 00:05:01.139 and date an anointed man of God, we are giving 00:05:01.139 --> 00:05:05.819 you the keys of what an anointed man of God looks 00:05:05.819 --> 00:05:11.079 for in a woman. So I'm gonna let him start it 00:05:11.079 --> 00:05:15.279 off tonight. But when I say Dr. Christopher, 00:05:15.579 --> 00:05:19.279 when I say dating while anointed, what's the 00:05:19.279 --> 00:05:23.600 first thing that comes to your mind? The first 00:05:23.600 --> 00:05:27.139 thing that comes to my mind when I hear the words 00:05:27.139 --> 00:05:34.550 dating while anointed is engaging in intentional 00:05:34.550 --> 00:05:42.029 data collection and relationship and compatibility 00:05:42.029 --> 00:05:48.629 discernment while in pursuit of your divine purpose, 00:05:49.449 --> 00:05:56.649 your passion, your reason for existence. If you 00:05:56.649 --> 00:06:03.199 are dating, as an anointed person. You're not 00:06:03.199 --> 00:06:06.800 happenstantially hopping from person to person. 00:06:07.079 --> 00:06:13.579 Let's establish that. You are seeing the world 00:06:13.579 --> 00:06:20.399 and yourself for what it truly is. Being as honest 00:06:20.399 --> 00:06:25.279 as humanly possible. And I'll even add this caveat 00:06:25.279 --> 00:06:30.259 within reason. and within the capacity of those 00:06:30.259 --> 00:06:33.779 who are desires of information concerning you, 00:06:34.399 --> 00:06:36.240 because we're going to have to get into the fact 00:06:36.240 --> 00:06:38.160 that there are some people who want to know things 00:06:38.160 --> 00:06:42.939 about you that have to earn the right to that 00:06:42.939 --> 00:06:46.060 information. Just because you desire it doesn't 00:06:46.060 --> 00:06:50.220 mean I am obligated to meet your desire. Dating 00:06:50.220 --> 00:06:57.980 while anointed is... a place and space in mind, 00:06:58.899 --> 00:07:04.019 of mind and in mind, that has to be carefully 00:07:04.019 --> 00:07:13.660 curated and meticulously operated in. And we 00:07:13.660 --> 00:07:16.639 can't use that point if you're making a mess, 00:07:17.220 --> 00:07:21.740 you're dating while anointed or dating as an 00:07:21.740 --> 00:07:29.040 anointed person. you are frolicking and you are 00:07:29.040 --> 00:07:33.220 essentially unaware of who you are in God and 00:07:33.220 --> 00:07:36.959 you're unaware of what it is that you are called 00:07:36.959 --> 00:07:43.620 to do. I like that. I love that right there because 00:07:43.620 --> 00:07:47.160 it's letting people know that like, look, we 00:07:47.160 --> 00:07:50.759 don't date as the rest of the world dates. We 00:07:50.759 --> 00:07:54.050 don't because There's a bigger calling on our 00:07:54.050 --> 00:07:57.430 life. There's a bigger anointing that's on our 00:07:57.430 --> 00:08:01.730 life. So if you are really wanting to date a 00:08:01.730 --> 00:08:06.149 man that is truly anointed, you got to understand 00:08:06.149 --> 00:08:08.769 that he ain't just dating just to be dating. 00:08:10.069 --> 00:08:16.509 We are dating to see, OK, are you going to be, 00:08:16.829 --> 00:08:20.759 what are you going to add to my life? if we was 00:08:20.759 --> 00:08:24.639 to go into marriage. Like before we go into marriage, 00:08:24.819 --> 00:08:27.920 what are you adding to my life? Because there 00:08:27.920 --> 00:08:31.259 has been some that have came into my life that 00:08:31.259 --> 00:08:37.200 there was arm candy, but there was nothing of 00:08:37.200 --> 00:08:40.360 substance. Oh, no, that's real. That's real. 00:08:41.139 --> 00:08:44.220 Yeah. Like they look good on my arm. Like when 00:08:44.220 --> 00:08:46.960 we walk into events, trust them, believe me, 00:08:47.379 --> 00:08:53.299 returning ends. But when it came down to it and 00:08:53.299 --> 00:08:58.740 let's say I just got through preaching and I'm 00:08:58.740 --> 00:09:01.120 needing somebody to pour back into me because 00:09:01.120 --> 00:09:04.200 I didn't pour it out so much to so many people 00:09:04.200 --> 00:09:10.649 I Need a woman that's going to pour back into 00:09:10.649 --> 00:09:14.149 me as I have poured out to everybody else. I 00:09:14.149 --> 00:09:16.070 need a woman that's gonna be like, baby, no, 00:09:16.190 --> 00:09:18.929 we turning off our cell phone right now. Like, 00:09:19.070 --> 00:09:23.429 turn that off. Let's let you decompress. Let 00:09:23.429 --> 00:09:26.629 me take care of the kids right now. You need 00:09:26.629 --> 00:09:33.850 your alone time. And there's so much character 00:09:33.850 --> 00:09:38.200 development that's required to date and court 00:09:38.200 --> 00:09:41.480 and to be married and partner to someone who 00:09:41.480 --> 00:09:44.840 is in tune and in touch with the anointing of 00:09:44.840 --> 00:09:46.860 God on their life. And let's clarify what that 00:09:46.860 --> 00:09:48.720 word anointing means for those who are unfamiliar 00:09:48.720 --> 00:09:51.639 or those who use it as a slang term for whatever, 00:09:52.019 --> 00:09:54.919 whatever. It's almost like the way people in 00:09:54.919 --> 00:09:56.899 Philly or the northeast and quarter use the word 00:09:56.899 --> 00:09:59.039 John. What is John? It's a noun, a person, place 00:09:59.039 --> 00:10:02.720 or thing. In church, we use the word anointed 00:10:02.720 --> 00:10:07.200 for a lot of things that it does not. that are 00:10:07.200 --> 00:10:09.320 entirely gonna be out of context. So let's define 00:10:09.320 --> 00:10:11.600 what the word anointing means. Number one, for 00:10:11.600 --> 00:10:14.559 the audience, because I know what you all have 00:10:14.559 --> 00:10:16.740 done on the podcast, but I'm here now, so if 00:10:16.740 --> 00:10:18.340 you're gonna have conversations the way that 00:10:18.340 --> 00:10:24.159 I do it. The word anointing means to be smeared 00:10:24.159 --> 00:10:28.480 with oil. It means the visible sign of the selection 00:10:28.480 --> 00:10:32.820 of God up on your life. We can look at your actions, 00:10:33.100 --> 00:10:37.100 your words, your deeds, your life. somehow some 00:10:37.100 --> 00:10:40.960 way reflects that God's selection, God's oil, 00:10:41.159 --> 00:10:44.820 God's anointing, his approval and his sanction 00:10:44.820 --> 00:10:48.720 is on you. So as an anointed person who is approved 00:10:48.720 --> 00:10:52.220 and sanctioned by God, you cannot be everywhere. 00:10:52.340 --> 00:10:55.440 You can't date everybody. You can't intermingle 00:10:55.440 --> 00:10:58.320 and intermix with everybody. It takes a particular 00:10:58.320 --> 00:11:02.320 character development to be able to be a married 00:11:02.320 --> 00:11:06.730 and partnered anointed person. I want to start 00:11:06.730 --> 00:11:08.429 with a couple of the characteristics that in 00:11:08.429 --> 00:11:11.389 my experience are absolutely necessary if we 00:11:11.389 --> 00:11:13.830 are going to have successful relationships as 00:11:13.830 --> 00:11:16.509 many women of God who are anointed and in touch 00:11:16.509 --> 00:11:18.710 and in tune with who God has called us to be 00:11:18.710 --> 00:11:23.029 on par and in the direction of going and pursuing 00:11:23.029 --> 00:11:25.190 Kingdom Purpose. Number one, you need patience. 00:11:26.429 --> 00:11:30.559 You need patience. to be patient. I am sick and 00:11:30.559 --> 00:11:33.820 tired of seeing so many people filled with the 00:11:33.820 --> 00:11:36.820 spirit, but I yet had to see any fruit of the 00:11:36.820 --> 00:11:38.980 spirit. I don't see any fruit of the spirit. 00:11:39.399 --> 00:11:42.500 I see a lot of gifts. of the spirit. But I don't 00:11:42.500 --> 00:11:45.100 see a lot of fruit of the spirit. And one of 00:11:45.100 --> 00:11:49.100 the most major areas in the life of the believer 00:11:49.100 --> 00:11:53.080 of someone who is spirit filled and anointed, 00:11:53.580 --> 00:11:57.279 anointing smeared is patience. We do not have 00:11:57.279 --> 00:12:01.399 enough patience. We don't have enough long suffering. 00:12:01.679 --> 00:12:05.080 We don't have enough forbearance. We don't have 00:12:05.080 --> 00:12:08.710 enough We don't have enough patience. We don't 00:12:08.710 --> 00:12:10.830 have enough suffering. We don't have enough forbearance. 00:12:10.850 --> 00:12:14.409 We don't have enough meekness. Because meekness 00:12:14.409 --> 00:12:18.269 does not mean weakness. You can be meek and be 00:12:18.269 --> 00:12:21.850 strong, but women of God and men of God, I'm 00:12:21.850 --> 00:12:24.470 talking to all of you, but I heard the man of 00:12:24.470 --> 00:12:25.889 God say this is particularly for some women. 00:12:26.570 --> 00:12:31.549 Sisters, the brothers need your patience, but 00:12:31.549 --> 00:12:35.779 I will also say we also need your honesty. in 00:12:35.779 --> 00:12:38.960 patience. We need you to exercise patience with 00:12:38.960 --> 00:12:42.879 honesty and balance honesty with patience. Don't 00:12:42.879 --> 00:12:49.100 be honest but hard and don't be patient and a 00:12:49.100 --> 00:12:51.919 pushover because any man that knows that he can 00:12:51.919 --> 00:12:54.820 push you over will eventually continue to push 00:12:54.820 --> 00:12:58.200 you over until he has used you up and now you 00:12:58.200 --> 00:13:00.740 want to blame all men for the deficiency of your 00:13:00.740 --> 00:13:05.429 relationship. Or you snap and you do things that 00:13:05.429 --> 00:13:07.549 are completely out of character for yourself 00:13:07.549 --> 00:13:10.169 and out of character for the Christian faith 00:13:10.169 --> 00:13:13.370 if you call yourself a kingdom woman. And so 00:13:13.370 --> 00:13:16.490 we need to balance that honesty with patience. 00:13:17.299 --> 00:13:21.120 patients with honesty so that we can have healthy 00:13:21.120 --> 00:13:26.159 relationships. Patience is an extremely rare, 00:13:26.879 --> 00:13:29.860 long suffering and forbearance and all the fruit 00:13:29.860 --> 00:13:32.340 of the spirit is extremely rare in a lot of relationships, 00:13:32.460 --> 00:13:35.100 particularly with young women who are overexposed 00:13:35.100 --> 00:13:38.259 to social media. But we have, let me say this, 00:13:38.799 --> 00:13:44.039 I'm finna cuss. Social media is a drug and is 00:13:44.039 --> 00:13:47.960 infecting the minds of people who are consuming 00:13:47.960 --> 00:13:51.200 entirely too much of the wrong thing. You should 00:13:51.200 --> 00:13:53.200 not be getting your relationship advice from 00:13:53.200 --> 00:13:55.279 just any and everybody. You should be getting 00:13:55.279 --> 00:13:57.019 your relationship advice from people who have 00:13:57.019 --> 00:14:00.759 the heart of God. who have the heart of God, 00:14:00.879 --> 00:14:03.179 who have a track record of godliness and a track 00:14:03.179 --> 00:14:06.759 record of Christ's likeness and a track record 00:14:06.759 --> 00:14:12.320 of sensibility and balance and consistency and 00:14:12.320 --> 00:14:15.700 stick -to -it -ness. You should be getting your 00:14:15.700 --> 00:14:18.240 relationship advice from the Word of God and 00:14:18.240 --> 00:14:21.279 from proven voices who you know and can tell 00:14:21.279 --> 00:14:23.759 have the heart of God. Otherwise, you're leading 00:14:23.759 --> 00:14:28.990 yourself off the cliff. It's like... I think 00:14:28.990 --> 00:14:34.289 a lot of times now what we have done is we have 00:14:34.289 --> 00:14:39.950 gotten in love with junk food which is what I'm 00:14:39.950 --> 00:14:44.269 saying is we've linked to all of these red pill 00:14:44.269 --> 00:14:50.110 communities that are telling us every toxic trait 00:14:50.110 --> 00:14:56.070 of relationships but not telling us what is good 00:14:56.070 --> 00:14:59.259 with relationships. They will tell you everything 00:14:59.259 --> 00:15:02.700 bad. They will pit women against men, men against 00:15:02.700 --> 00:15:07.580 women constantly. That's why I wanted a soul 00:15:07.580 --> 00:15:11.940 like this on the network to where they can see 00:15:11.940 --> 00:15:17.159 that like, look, this is how you truly date while 00:15:17.159 --> 00:15:20.220 you are anointed. This is how you this is how 00:15:20.220 --> 00:15:24.200 you can truly do it. It's like it can be done. 00:15:24.509 --> 00:15:27.929 It's not hard, but it's going to take a lot of 00:15:27.929 --> 00:15:31.669 work from both parties. Both parties have to 00:15:31.669 --> 00:15:35.370 put in the same amount of work, and it's going 00:15:35.370 --> 00:15:38.730 to take you being honest with yourself. You are 00:15:38.730 --> 00:15:42.990 going to have to take a look at yourself. Because 00:15:42.990 --> 00:15:46.009 there have been relationships that I have been 00:15:46.009 --> 00:15:51.129 in where the person was a wonderful person. That 00:15:51.129 --> 00:15:54.570 was wonderful. They had a lot going for themselves. 00:15:56.490 --> 00:16:01.669 They just wasn't for me. Yeah. And I will be 00:16:01.669 --> 00:16:05.870 honest. There was times where I kept people that 00:16:05.870 --> 00:16:11.389 wasn't for me longer than what it was, then I 00:16:11.389 --> 00:16:14.509 should have. And there's something that you said 00:16:14.509 --> 00:16:17.649 that I really love where you said, sex with proven 00:16:17.649 --> 00:16:24.559 voices. I can tell y 'all. There are... There 00:16:24.559 --> 00:16:30.440 was a situation that I was in relationship and 00:16:30.440 --> 00:16:35.039 I was in love. Man, you couldn't tell me this 00:16:35.039 --> 00:16:38.639 wasn't the one. This is it. This is it. Our communication 00:16:38.639 --> 00:16:41.580 is on point. We have a great communication. We 00:16:41.580 --> 00:16:45.360 on the phone, 24 seven, we laughing, we cracking 00:16:45.360 --> 00:16:49.460 jokes, we praying together at night. Man, this 00:16:49.460 --> 00:16:54.250 is it. There was one night. This is the funny 00:16:54.250 --> 00:16:57.629 part. I was going to introduce her to Dr. Receder. 00:16:58.789 --> 00:17:02.710 Dr. Receder tells me, son, I'm busy tonight. 00:17:03.509 --> 00:17:06.509 Give it a couple of weeks. I want to see how 00:17:06.509 --> 00:17:11.789 she does after a couple of weeks. Let's wait. 00:17:14.099 --> 00:17:16.579 She said, I'm not saying it's a bad thing, but 00:17:16.579 --> 00:17:19.000 something in my spirit is telling me, give her 00:17:19.000 --> 00:17:23.119 a couple of weeks before she meets me. That couple 00:17:23.119 --> 00:17:25.339 of weeks before she met her, it was already a 00:17:25.339 --> 00:17:27.380 done deal. Like, because I'm starting to see 00:17:27.380 --> 00:17:31.779 the red flags. And I'm like, and I had to laugh. 00:17:32.000 --> 00:17:35.339 I'm like, now, if I were to bother you, she said, 00:17:35.440 --> 00:17:38.180 oh, I would have seen them wear flags from jump. 00:17:38.720 --> 00:17:42.259 She said, because at that moment, you can't see 00:17:42.259 --> 00:17:46.019 it because you so Google Gaga you got to get 00:17:46.019 --> 00:17:50.539 people in your corner that don't have that and 00:17:50.539 --> 00:17:56.480 that can see it from the outside looking in so 00:17:56.480 --> 00:17:59.039 like you said you got to get those proven voices 00:17:59.039 --> 00:18:04.859 get you some people around you that you trust 00:18:04.859 --> 00:18:08.220 and that you know have that same anointing that 00:18:08.220 --> 00:18:11.200 you have I've said this before and I'll say it 00:18:11.200 --> 00:18:15.019 again I have some People around me right now 00:18:15.019 --> 00:18:17.680 that are like my sisters that are like my other 00:18:17.680 --> 00:18:23.400 mamas If the woman that I get Cannot meet the 00:18:23.400 --> 00:18:26.900 characteristics that these women are coming with 00:18:26.900 --> 00:18:31.940 I Don't want you because God has already shown 00:18:31.940 --> 00:18:37.799 me that I'm not asking for too much Yeah, yeah, 00:18:37.859 --> 00:18:41.750 I know that's real Funny enough, I made sure 00:18:41.750 --> 00:18:48.670 that I introduced my last partner. But, gradually, 00:18:48.789 --> 00:18:51.529 we did not have a very long relationship. And 00:18:51.529 --> 00:18:58.630 I do mourn the fact that the relationship did 00:18:58.630 --> 00:19:03.769 not last and that the person that I truly was 00:19:03.769 --> 00:19:07.960 ready to commit to could not have enough of what 00:19:07.960 --> 00:19:12.180 I would have said, patience to see us through 00:19:12.180 --> 00:19:17.160 from where we were to where we have arrived at 00:19:17.160 --> 00:19:22.660 to where we're going. I don't know if that's 00:19:22.660 --> 00:19:25.599 simply going to be the only word that I highlight 00:19:25.599 --> 00:19:28.160 tonight. It's not. I'm going to make sure that 00:19:28.160 --> 00:19:31.259 it's not because it's really important that we 00:19:31.259 --> 00:19:35.900 not only have patience but we have insight. We 00:19:35.900 --> 00:19:38.700 need to have some insight on ourselves if we're 00:19:38.700 --> 00:19:40.500 going to be dating and courting and partnering 00:19:40.500 --> 00:19:42.839 with people as anointed man or woman of God. 00:19:43.279 --> 00:19:46.539 And we also need to make sure that we have insight 00:19:46.539 --> 00:19:50.119 on the other person, on the other party in our 00:19:50.119 --> 00:19:54.180 relationship. Do we know enough about each other? 00:19:54.799 --> 00:19:58.400 And are we okay having boundaries with what we 00:19:58.400 --> 00:20:00.220 know? Because here's the truth that sisters brothers. 00:20:02.190 --> 00:20:06.309 There are some men and even some women who want 00:20:06.309 --> 00:20:09.910 to know more about you than they have earned 00:20:09.910 --> 00:20:14.609 the right to know. And I'll even go so far to 00:20:14.609 --> 00:20:19.170 say this. There is no man on earth and no woman 00:20:19.170 --> 00:20:24.410 on earth. Very rarely, maybe I'll say very rarely, 00:20:25.069 --> 00:20:28.029 very rarely can you find a man or a woman on 00:20:28.029 --> 00:20:31.809 earth who can be your everything. Particularly 00:20:31.809 --> 00:20:36.829 because as Kingdom people, we reserve the everything 00:20:36.829 --> 00:20:43.430 spot for God. People are limited. People will 00:20:43.430 --> 00:20:46.869 disappoint you. People will let you down and 00:20:46.869 --> 00:20:49.849 you will be let down in a relationship. However, 00:20:49.890 --> 00:20:54.569 can you still respect that person? Can you still 00:20:54.569 --> 00:20:59.509 honor that person? Can you still choose that 00:20:59.509 --> 00:21:06.890 person? even after your friction. So I am praying 00:21:06.890 --> 00:21:11.250 that moving forward into the latter part of this 00:21:11.250 --> 00:21:14.970 year that there are more spaces and more places 00:21:14.970 --> 00:21:18.529 where Kingdom people, where people of God can 00:21:18.529 --> 00:21:22.390 get together and really begin saying and talking 00:21:22.390 --> 00:21:26.970 and getting more of the nuts and bolts of healthy 00:21:26.970 --> 00:21:30.789 relationships. out in the open because we have 00:21:30.789 --> 00:21:34.150 a lot of broken hearts a lot of Disappointments 00:21:34.150 --> 00:21:37.109 that could have been resolved had there been 00:21:37.109 --> 00:21:40.930 a greater sense of insight with yourself Okay, 00:21:40.930 --> 00:21:43.710 you want to know all of this, but why are your 00:21:43.710 --> 00:21:46.509 intentions pure? You want to do all of this, 00:21:46.529 --> 00:21:49.789 but why are your motives toward that person pure? 00:21:50.109 --> 00:21:51.950 Or do you just want to be a control freak because 00:21:51.950 --> 00:21:53.829 you couldn't have your way in the last relationship? 00:21:54.029 --> 00:21:56.390 See there's a lot of unhealed trauma that we 00:21:56.390 --> 00:21:59.730 bring from other relationships into a new situation 00:21:59.730 --> 00:22:04.829 and no matter how hard that person tries, because 00:22:04.829 --> 00:22:07.309 you have yet to unpack what you have going on 00:22:07.309 --> 00:22:09.910 over there, you're making them fight a battle 00:22:09.910 --> 00:22:12.789 they didn't sign up for. You've got to make sure, 00:22:12.869 --> 00:22:14.670 my sister and my brother, that you're not making 00:22:14.670 --> 00:22:19.069 your partner sign up for a battle or that they 00:22:19.069 --> 00:22:22.470 did not agree to. And don't sign them up for 00:22:22.470 --> 00:22:24.990 expectations that they didn't agree to. Don't 00:22:24.990 --> 00:22:27.609 put expectations on them. They didn't agree to. 00:22:27.869 --> 00:22:29.910 They're not mind readers. We're not mind readers. 00:22:30.230 --> 00:22:32.269 The only person who knows all things and feels 00:22:32.269 --> 00:22:36.690 all things is God. I feel me. You know, I can 00:22:36.690 --> 00:22:39.710 be discerning and the spirit may allow me to 00:22:39.710 --> 00:22:43.569 see you or I can be intuitive and sense or I 00:22:43.569 --> 00:22:47.089 can be aware and hear and feel that something 00:22:47.089 --> 00:22:49.069 is off, something's in it, something needs to 00:22:49.069 --> 00:22:52.869 be addressed. But don't place the burden of me 00:22:52.869 --> 00:22:54.789 reading your mind that when I don't read your 00:22:54.789 --> 00:23:01.109 mind, I'm the enemy, I'm the devil, and I'm all 00:23:01.109 --> 00:23:03.069 these names. No, I think we need to get back 00:23:03.069 --> 00:23:05.109 to having healthy relationships, healthy conversations. 00:23:05.849 --> 00:23:08.750 And I want to see more healthy forums, whether 00:23:08.750 --> 00:23:11.470 there's just two or three, or a dozen or a couple 00:23:11.470 --> 00:23:14.369 hundred, where we really begin to chop at the 00:23:14.369 --> 00:23:17.809 tree of resentment and unforgiveness and bitterness 00:23:17.809 --> 00:23:20.849 and unhealthy habits and practices that we skew 00:23:20.849 --> 00:23:23.390 onto our partners so that we can get back to 00:23:23.390 --> 00:23:27.150 having better and healthy relationships. I agree, 00:23:27.369 --> 00:23:31.170 man. I agree. Like we gotta have better communication 00:23:31.170 --> 00:23:35.450 because communication is the most important part. 00:23:36.230 --> 00:23:40.369 Like if you do not communicate, your relationship 00:23:40.369 --> 00:23:43.930 is doomed to fail. Like if you don't communicate, 00:23:44.670 --> 00:23:47.029 you are setting yourself up for failure. If you 00:23:47.029 --> 00:23:49.430 don't communicate, you are setting yourself up 00:23:49.430 --> 00:23:52.230 for disaster. If you don't communicate, you are 00:23:52.230 --> 00:23:57.470 setting yourself up for downfall, you setting 00:23:57.470 --> 00:24:00.890 yourself up for everything that you don't want. 00:24:01.390 --> 00:24:05.349 Because there's been situations that I've been 00:24:05.349 --> 00:24:10.710 in that if I would have just listened to sound 00:24:10.710 --> 00:24:14.490 advice, I would have kept myself out of trouble. 00:24:15.269 --> 00:24:19.490 I would have kept myself out of situations if 00:24:19.490 --> 00:24:22.109 I would have just been obedient and listened 00:24:22.109 --> 00:24:26.250 to what others have told me. But, you know, we 00:24:26.250 --> 00:24:30.450 are, we hard -headed at times. Oh no, I did what 00:24:30.450 --> 00:24:33.829 you did too. I brought it to Dr. Rashida. I did. 00:24:34.509 --> 00:24:38.210 And she told me what she saw. And what she thought 00:24:38.210 --> 00:24:40.769 and what she sensed. Not just about her, but 00:24:40.769 --> 00:24:45.650 about me too. But about you. Exactly. And she 00:24:45.650 --> 00:24:47.289 said, I'm praying for you. I'm gonna pray y 'all 00:24:47.289 --> 00:24:49.609 down the aisle, but I'm praying for you. And 00:24:49.609 --> 00:24:51.730 to this day, she's still praying for me as my 00:24:51.730 --> 00:24:55.140 big sister mom. But yes, having community, having 00:24:55.140 --> 00:24:57.339 healthy community, not a community of yes men 00:24:57.339 --> 00:24:59.180 or yes women who only tell you what you want 00:24:59.180 --> 00:25:00.859 to hear, because a lot of women have surrounded 00:25:00.859 --> 00:25:03.039 themselves with a whole bunch of yes clean, and 00:25:03.039 --> 00:25:06.400 you know, you go girl, and a lot of y 'all have 00:25:06.400 --> 00:25:08.519 done that. You've created whole yes communities. 00:25:09.099 --> 00:25:12.160 Meanwhile, y 'all keep, your girlfriends are 00:25:12.160 --> 00:25:16.559 the reason you're still single. They don't want 00:25:16.559 --> 00:25:18.759 to have that discussion though. They don't want 00:25:18.759 --> 00:25:22.369 to have that discussion. who keep telling you 00:25:22.369 --> 00:25:25.450 what you want to hear are the reason you're still 00:25:25.450 --> 00:25:29.230 single. The problem that we have in this generation 00:25:29.230 --> 00:25:31.829 is that we do not have, here's what I really 00:25:31.829 --> 00:25:35.410 want to see. I want to see some of the wise elder 00:25:35.410 --> 00:25:38.849 women coaching and teaching the young women. 00:25:39.630 --> 00:25:42.150 Not a group of your peers will want to tell you 00:25:42.150 --> 00:25:45.009 whatever you want to hear. Because see my grandmother 00:25:45.009 --> 00:25:48.029 at 92 years old is not going to tell me what 00:25:48.029 --> 00:25:50.490 I want to hear. She's going to tell me what I 00:25:50.490 --> 00:25:54.970 need to hear because that lady right there has 00:25:54.970 --> 00:25:58.049 seen almost a century of relationships in and 00:25:58.049 --> 00:26:03.549 out, up and down. And while, yes, from a entirely 00:26:03.549 --> 00:26:06.750 different era, that's not all a bad thing. There's 00:26:06.750 --> 00:26:09.109 some great things about the fact that she's been 00:26:09.109 --> 00:26:13.490 on for 100 years of relationships, ends, ups, 00:26:13.670 --> 00:26:16.509 downs, and she's married a couple of folks, officiated 00:26:16.509 --> 00:26:19.970 my wedding. Because I trusted that, you know, 00:26:20.089 --> 00:26:23.829 that consistency and that longevity is critical 00:26:23.829 --> 00:26:27.349 to what we need in this era. And so, absolutely, 00:26:27.710 --> 00:26:30.910 it's important that we make sure that we have 00:26:30.910 --> 00:26:32.690 some people in our lives who are going to tell 00:26:32.690 --> 00:26:34.890 us what we need to hear, not just what we want 00:26:34.890 --> 00:26:38.890 to hear. And, sisters, please make sure that 00:26:38.890 --> 00:26:40.609 you are surrounded by a bunch of women who are 00:26:40.609 --> 00:26:42.269 the reason that you're still single and stay 00:26:42.269 --> 00:26:45.029 single. Get into a relationship. The man don't 00:26:45.029 --> 00:26:46.529 do what you want him to do because you want to 00:26:46.529 --> 00:26:48.890 be in control. You want to wear pants in relationship. 00:26:49.529 --> 00:26:52.210 You want to you want you want things to go your 00:26:52.210 --> 00:26:54.309 way and when they don't go your way you cry and 00:26:54.309 --> 00:26:56.829 whine and fuss and fight and argue and create 00:26:56.829 --> 00:26:59.970 tension and havoc and and rick mayhem and chaos 00:26:59.970 --> 00:27:02.650 in the house and you wonder why he's out with 00:27:02.650 --> 00:27:06.450 his boys. Wonder why he had this one and that 00:27:06.450 --> 00:27:09.410 one. We're not condoning or promoting cheating 00:27:09.410 --> 00:27:12.950 or infidelity or lack of faithfulness. What we're 00:27:12.950 --> 00:27:16.890 saying is that, as someone said, if you don't 00:27:16.890 --> 00:27:18.730 want me looking over here, make sure you give 00:27:18.730 --> 00:27:22.369 me every reason not to. Now some of y 'all don't 00:27:22.369 --> 00:27:24.029 want to hear that because you want to say to 00:27:24.029 --> 00:27:25.869 them, well, you shouldn't be doing that anyway. 00:27:26.349 --> 00:27:29.690 Here's the thing that we have to understand. 00:27:30.289 --> 00:27:36.980 Men and women are wired differently. And you 00:27:36.980 --> 00:27:39.960 cannot be insecure if you're going to be in a 00:27:39.960 --> 00:27:43.400 relationship with an annoying person. You gotta 00:27:43.400 --> 00:27:45.299 cure your insecurities. If you're going to be 00:27:45.299 --> 00:27:46.980 in a relationship with an annoying person and 00:27:46.980 --> 00:27:49.859 you want that thing to last, you gotta cure your 00:27:49.859 --> 00:27:52.400 insecurities. If you gotta get your phone back 00:27:52.400 --> 00:27:55.079 at the door. If you gotta take some medication, 00:27:55.740 --> 00:27:57.799 if you gotta read some books, if you gotta listen 00:27:57.799 --> 00:28:04.559 to some podcasts. If you gotta start journaling. 00:28:05.049 --> 00:28:07.450 Write your feelings down. So when he says hello, 00:28:07.509 --> 00:28:09.950 you don't spew fire. You say I'm hello. You say 00:28:09.950 --> 00:28:14.490 hello back He he said one word but now he's getting 00:28:14.490 --> 00:28:21.869 a five page a five page He just said hello But 00:28:21.869 --> 00:28:26.170 you have your emotions and and your feelings 00:28:26.170 --> 00:28:29.589 and your insecurities now that man has to again 00:28:29.589 --> 00:28:32.269 endure now he didn't sign up for yeah, but we 00:28:32.269 --> 00:28:34.960 got to do better It's time for us to make this 00:28:34.960 --> 00:28:37.859 thing right. Because hey, listen, we want to 00:28:37.859 --> 00:28:39.759 be partner. We want to be married. We want to 00:28:39.759 --> 00:28:41.259 have healthy families. We want to have healthy 00:28:41.259 --> 00:28:44.059 relationships. But not at the expense of our 00:28:44.059 --> 00:28:47.400 dignity. You're not about to talk all kind of 00:28:47.400 --> 00:28:49.339 crazy to me. And think I'm going to say it right? 00:28:49.740 --> 00:28:53.779 And I'm going to be what you appear or desire 00:28:53.779 --> 00:28:56.339 for me to be. We've got to find some balance 00:28:56.339 --> 00:28:59.079 to this. There's got to be balance to it. And 00:28:59.079 --> 00:29:02.299 I believe wholeheartedly with everything in me. 00:29:02.670 --> 00:29:04.990 because there's some brothers who desire to be 00:29:04.990 --> 00:29:07.349 married, they desire to be partnered, they desire 00:29:07.349 --> 00:29:09.390 to be in healthy relationships, they desire to 00:29:09.390 --> 00:29:13.769 have healthy families. But there are some conditions 00:29:13.769 --> 00:29:16.950 that have to be met. In order for men, women 00:29:16.950 --> 00:29:24.210 need to work harder at being a safe place and 00:29:24.210 --> 00:29:28.829 a safe space for men. Man, you ain't never lied. 00:29:29.750 --> 00:29:32.630 You ain't never lied. We want you to be a safe 00:29:32.630 --> 00:29:37.009 place and a safe space for men, not a war zone. 00:29:37.789 --> 00:29:42.470 The man's on the birthshed around his own house 00:29:42.470 --> 00:29:45.230 or in his own relationship when he's supposed 00:29:45.230 --> 00:29:48.970 to be the man, the head of the household, the 00:29:48.970 --> 00:29:53.220 husband. I've heard people saying it, so I guess 00:29:53.220 --> 00:29:55.400 we need to say it. The man is not the head of 00:29:55.400 --> 00:29:58.500 woman, the husband is the head of the wife. However, 00:29:59.740 --> 00:30:03.920 before you get the wife title. You need to show 00:30:03.920 --> 00:30:07.240 wife level submission and loyalty and respect 00:30:07.240 --> 00:30:10.440 and honor and dignity. You can't disrespect him 00:30:10.440 --> 00:30:11.980 all the way up to the wedding and all of a sudden 00:30:11.980 --> 00:30:13.420 because y 'all now you're married, you want to 00:30:13.420 --> 00:30:15.779 respect him. You can't say I'll respect him or 00:30:15.779 --> 00:30:18.480 I'll give him honor and dignity when he shows 00:30:18.480 --> 00:30:20.339 me he's the man that deserves it. No man knows 00:30:20.339 --> 00:30:23.359 how this works. If that's your attitude, you 00:30:23.359 --> 00:30:25.059 need to fix it or you need to get with a man 00:30:25.059 --> 00:30:29.599 who actually deserves it. or it's proven that 00:30:29.599 --> 00:30:31.839 he's honorable and loyal and worthy of respect. 00:30:32.019 --> 00:30:35.039 But I'll be honest, some of y 'all disrespect 00:30:35.039 --> 00:30:38.160 men even if they are honorable. And that's a 00:30:38.160 --> 00:30:40.220 character flaw that needs to be taken care of 00:30:40.220 --> 00:30:43.119 in you. You need to seek God about that. What 00:30:43.119 --> 00:30:46.079 is in my heart? Is it my father? Is it my brother? 00:30:46.440 --> 00:30:48.599 Was it a bad relationship? Was it a man in my 00:30:48.599 --> 00:30:50.559 life who didn't handle me and now I gotta get 00:30:50.559 --> 00:30:55.019 back at them? Or do I not see myself as the one 00:30:55.019 --> 00:30:59.299 that God sees me as? because some things are 00:30:59.299 --> 00:31:03.480 not about other people. Because even if somebody 00:31:03.480 --> 00:31:06.119 else disrespects me, dishonors me, degrades me, 00:31:06.640 --> 00:31:09.299 I have enough class and dignity within myself 00:31:09.299 --> 00:31:11.960 to say, I refuse to be associated with certain 00:31:11.960 --> 00:31:16.940 behavior. I refuse to be associated with certain 00:31:16.940 --> 00:31:20.640 behavior. I don't want to marry that feels like 00:31:20.640 --> 00:31:22.839 the bad girls club. I want to marry that feels 00:31:22.839 --> 00:31:29.650 like the preacher's life. The good guy. I don't 00:31:29.650 --> 00:31:34.109 get your voice. I'm on a Zeus network. I don't 00:31:34.109 --> 00:31:38.390 want that. I'll catch it here and there. I don't 00:31:38.390 --> 00:31:40.329 want a relationship that feels like I'm on either 00:31:40.329 --> 00:31:42.789 the Zeus network or the bad girl's club. I want 00:31:42.789 --> 00:31:46.390 a relationship that feels like God is in it. 00:31:46.779 --> 00:31:49.079 and the peace of God is moving us forward and 00:31:49.079 --> 00:31:53.640 the love of God is surrounding us and the power 00:31:53.640 --> 00:31:55.880 of God is repelling us from one place to another. 00:32:00.519 --> 00:32:03.859 Man, we gotta do a part two to this. We have 00:32:03.859 --> 00:32:09.859 to do a part two to this. There will be a part 00:32:09.859 --> 00:32:13.730 two, y 'all. we will be getting with my brother 00:32:13.730 --> 00:32:16.309 to get a part two done because we just scratched 00:32:16.309 --> 00:32:19.849 in the surface, y 'all. We barely scratched in 00:32:19.849 --> 00:32:23.089 the surface. So right now what I'm gonna do is 00:32:23.089 --> 00:32:25.789 I'm gonna let my brother tell y 'all where y 00:32:25.789 --> 00:32:29.309 'all can find him at, give y 'all his social 00:32:29.309 --> 00:32:31.450 media, that way y 'all can go over there and 00:32:31.450 --> 00:32:36.369 show him some love over there. And then we will 00:32:36.369 --> 00:32:41.680 see y 'all on next week. I appreciate you, man. 00:32:41.839 --> 00:32:43.940 Thank you so much. My social media handle is 00:32:43.940 --> 00:32:48.039 right there in the caption, summonsxglobal, S 00:32:48.039 --> 00:32:50.700 -E -R -M -O -N -X -X -Global. Yes, summons is 00:32:50.700 --> 00:32:52.700 my real ass name. It's a whole family of us. 00:32:53.480 --> 00:32:55.119 We're up in all the East Coast around the country 00:32:55.119 --> 00:32:57.880 and around the globe. Oh man, I am so honored 00:32:57.880 --> 00:33:00.279 to be here. Listen, I want to say a prayer for 00:33:00.279 --> 00:33:02.650 you really quickly if you don't mind. Father, 00:33:02.910 --> 00:33:05.309 we're grateful and thankful that you have given 00:33:05.309 --> 00:33:08.190 us this day and this moment and this time to 00:33:08.190 --> 00:33:11.849 discuss your heart concerning us and that is 00:33:11.849 --> 00:33:15.549 relationships. Lord, it is your will that none 00:33:15.549 --> 00:33:18.789 of us should be alone. You said it in the book 00:33:18.789 --> 00:33:21.549 of Genesis. It is not your desire that we should 00:33:21.549 --> 00:33:25.069 be alone. So you have designed and desired and 00:33:25.069 --> 00:33:29.319 equipped help meets and partners for us. Father, 00:33:29.480 --> 00:33:31.839 I pray that you will bless my sister, bless my 00:33:31.839 --> 00:33:35.119 brother with the wisdom and the foresight and 00:33:35.119 --> 00:33:37.680 the insight and the patience. Stir up them in 00:33:37.680 --> 00:33:40.779 them the fruit of the spirit beyond their gift, 00:33:40.980 --> 00:33:43.420 beyond their talent, beyond their anointing, 00:33:43.519 --> 00:33:46.400 beyond their special ability, beyond their unique 00:33:46.400 --> 00:33:49.140 capacity. Stir them up in them the fruit of the 00:33:49.140 --> 00:33:52.180 spirit that they may pursue what is the mind 00:33:52.180 --> 00:33:54.849 and the perfect. will of God for them concerning 00:33:54.849 --> 00:33:58.430 their relationships. Father, we pray peace tonight. 00:33:59.130 --> 00:34:02.210 Peace over every home and peace over every heart. 00:34:02.589 --> 00:34:05.089 Peace over every intention. Peace over every 00:34:05.089 --> 00:34:08.409 agenda. Tonight we pray for clarity. Father, 00:34:08.489 --> 00:34:10.590 bring clarity to everything that is cloudy. Bring 00:34:10.590 --> 00:34:12.550 clarity to everything that is disjointed. Bring 00:34:12.550 --> 00:34:14.309 clarity to everything that is disaligned and 00:34:14.309 --> 00:34:16.849 misaligned. Father, we pray that you would allow 00:34:16.849 --> 00:34:19.389 your people to experience peace, love, and joy, 00:34:19.489 --> 00:34:22.809 and most importantly, a testimony of your goodness 00:34:22.809 --> 00:34:24.789 because you're a loving Father and you desire 00:34:24.789 --> 00:34:27.309 that all of our needs be met and all of our needs 00:34:27.309 --> 00:34:29.449 be supplied. Father, help us to remember that 00:34:29.449 --> 00:34:31.869 it is our responsibility to seek first the kingdom 00:34:31.869 --> 00:34:34.349 of God and your righteousness and His righteousness 00:34:34.349 --> 00:34:36.349 and all the things that we desire, including 00:34:36.349 --> 00:34:39.170 healthy relationships, shall be added to us. 00:34:39.269 --> 00:34:41.869 Father, they give you praise for creating a circle 00:34:41.869 --> 00:34:45.130 that feels like heaven. It is in Jesus' name 00:34:45.130 --> 00:34:49.329 we decree that it is so. Amen. Amen. Amen. Amen. 00:34:49.690 --> 00:34:52.110 We will see y 'all on the mall for Wheel Talk 00:34:52.110 --> 00:34:54.989 Monday. Y 'all get ready. We got a full lineup 00:34:54.989 --> 00:34:58.090 this week, y 'all. Full lineup and we excited, 00:34:58.510 --> 00:35:01.389 all right? God bless y 'all. Peace. See y 'all 00:35:01.389 --> 00:35:18.260 tomorrow night. Now what I need y 'all to do 00:35:18.260 --> 00:35:22.460 is like this says, like and subscribe. Also, 00:35:22.539 --> 00:35:24.619 I need y 'all to share and I need y 'all to tag. 00:35:25.219 --> 00:35:26.780 And I need y 'all to turn on that notification 00:35:26.780 --> 00:35:30.800 bell over here on YouTube. That lets YouTube 00:35:30.800 --> 00:35:34.380 know that you like content like this. On behalf 00:35:34.380 --> 00:35:37.119 of everyone here at the network, we appreciate 00:35:37.119 --> 00:35:40.639 you because we couldn't release content the way 00:35:40.639 --> 00:35:44.139 that we do without your support. So as I always 00:35:44.139 --> 00:35:46.079 say, sometimes at this appointment, there's nothing 00:35:46.079 --> 00:35:48.320 more than God's appointments meeting. Sometimes 00:35:48.320 --> 00:35:51.159 if we look at his bag, God is only coming around 00:35:51.159 --> 00:35:53.679 for our good. Stay blessed, be blessed, and be 00:35:53.679 --> 00:35:56.199 a blessing to someone else. And I'll see y 'all 00:35:56.199 --> 00:35:58.039 on the next episode. Peace.