Yeah, yeah, you say you say you say you're ready
today. You say you're ready. You feel like it's
fate. Join Jay's and Dr. J. Sunday's 10 p .m.
Don't be late for day and while anointing Sunday's
10 p .m. It's great What is up? What is up? What
is up? But one everyone everyone it is another
day another time and another week for yours and
my favorite Sunday night show. I'm talking about
your favorite show, my favorite show. I'm talking
about that while I'm doing it. You all, you all,
you all. Look, you all tonight, I don't have
my other mama on it with me, but I do have a
new friend, a new brother, and I'm excited about
getting into this discussion with him tonight.
Let me give you all a brief bio of him and then
We're going to get into this discussion tonight.
Dr. Christopher Simmons is a senior pastor of
Kingdom Everywhere in Dallas, Texas, and an entrepreneur,
communicator, and naturally recognized as a kingdom
leader with more than 25 years in ministries.
15 years of pastoral leadership and 10 years
serving in the office as a bishop. Known for
his bold convictions, compelling communication
style, and unapologetic commitment to biblical
truth, Dr. Simmons has dedicated his life to
developing leaders, strengthening churches, and
equipping people to build healthy relationships
rooted in purpose, character, and spiritual maturity.
He is the founder of multiple kingdom -centered
multiple Kingdom cities and activities, and the
host of the State of Kingdom podcast, where he
engages conversations with own faith, relationship,
leadership, and culture, and the future of the
search. Whether addressing audience from the
pulpit, the boardroom, or behind the microphone,
Dr. Simmons is known for challenging conventional
thinking. while inspiring people to lead lives
of carriage, conviction, and lasting impact.
So ladies and gentlemen, ladies and gentlemen,
I want y 'all to put y 'all's blessings together
on tonight for my friend, my homie, Dr. Simmons,
ladies and gentlemen, put your hands together
for him as he comes on these days. And I need
y 'all to like, share, tag, and subscribe because
tonight we're going to have a great discussion.
How are you doing, man of God? I'm doing excellent.
Glad to be here. Glad to have you, man. Glad
to have you. First off, we thank you for coming
on on such late notice. I just happened to look
and I text. You know we haven't recorded yourself
apart for Danny while anointed tonight, right?
And she's like, we haven't ever eaten. I'm like,
no. I said, you just want to run a rerun or what
you want to do? She said, I got somebody for
you. I said, all right, let's hit it. Anybody
she recommends, I already know they're going
to come in and be excellent. So anybody she recommends,
I'll ride with it. So we thank you for coming
on. Absolutely. Yeah. Dr. Jackson has been a
huge inspiration to me and my life and I'm excited
to be here. Oh, yes, sir. Yes, sir. Yes, sir.
She's definitely sees that type at once you meet
her, you automatically have a connection with
her. You can't help but to love her and have
a connection with her from the moment you meet
her. Absolutely. All right. So tonight, y 'all.
We're hitting the conversation that is especially
for the ladies, for the women tonight. So to
the women, I want y 'all to tag y 'all's girlfriends,
tag y 'all sisters, tag some of y 'all's cousins,
and let them know that we talking directly to
them tonight. If you wanting to date while anointed
and date an anointed man of God, we are giving
you the keys of what an anointed man of God looks
for in a woman. So I'm gonna let him start it
off tonight. But when I say Dr. Christopher,
when I say dating while anointed, what's the
first thing that comes to your mind? The first
thing that comes to my mind when I hear the words
dating while anointed is engaging in intentional
data collection and relationship and compatibility
discernment while in pursuit of your divine purpose,
your passion, your reason for existence. If you
are dating, as an anointed person. You're not
happenstantially hopping from person to person.
Let's establish that. You are seeing the world
and yourself for what it truly is. Being as honest
as humanly possible. And I'll even add this caveat
within reason. and within the capacity of those
who are desires of information concerning you,
because we're going to have to get into the fact
that there are some people who want to know things
about you that have to earn the right to that
information. Just because you desire it doesn't
mean I am obligated to meet your desire. Dating
while anointed is... a place and space in mind,
of mind and in mind, that has to be carefully
curated and meticulously operated in. And we
can't use that point if you're making a mess,
you're dating while anointed or dating as an
anointed person. you are frolicking and you are
essentially unaware of who you are in God and
you're unaware of what it is that you are called
to do. I like that. I love that right there because
it's letting people know that like, look, we
don't date as the rest of the world dates. We
don't because There's a bigger calling on our
life. There's a bigger anointing that's on our
life. So if you are really wanting to date a
man that is truly anointed, you got to understand
that he ain't just dating just to be dating.
We are dating to see, OK, are you going to be,
what are you going to add to my life? if we was
to go into marriage. Like before we go into marriage,
what are you adding to my life? Because there
has been some that have came into my life that
there was arm candy, but there was nothing of
substance. Oh, no, that's real. That's real.
Yeah. Like they look good on my arm. Like when
we walk into events, trust them, believe me,
returning ends. But when it came down to it and
let's say I just got through preaching and I'm
needing somebody to pour back into me because
I didn't pour it out so much to so many people
I Need a woman that's going to pour back into
me as I have poured out to everybody else. I
need a woman that's gonna be like, baby, no,
we turning off our cell phone right now. Like,
turn that off. Let's let you decompress. Let
me take care of the kids right now. You need
your alone time. And there's so much character
development that's required to date and court
and to be married and partner to someone who
is in tune and in touch with the anointing of
God on their life. And let's clarify what that
word anointing means for those who are unfamiliar
or those who use it as a slang term for whatever,
whatever. It's almost like the way people in
Philly or the northeast and quarter use the word
John. What is John? It's a noun, a person, place
or thing. In church, we use the word anointed
for a lot of things that it does not. that are
entirely gonna be out of context. So let's define
what the word anointing means. Number one, for
the audience, because I know what you all have
done on the podcast, but I'm here now, so if
you're gonna have conversations the way that
I do it. The word anointing means to be smeared
with oil. It means the visible sign of the selection
of God up on your life. We can look at your actions,
your words, your deeds, your life. somehow some
way reflects that God's selection, God's oil,
God's anointing, his approval and his sanction
is on you. So as an anointed person who is approved
and sanctioned by God, you cannot be everywhere.
You can't date everybody. You can't intermingle
and intermix with everybody. It takes a particular
character development to be able to be a married
and partnered anointed person. I want to start
with a couple of the characteristics that in
my experience are absolutely necessary if we
are going to have successful relationships as
many women of God who are anointed and in touch
and in tune with who God has called us to be
on par and in the direction of going and pursuing
Kingdom Purpose. Number one, you need patience.
You need patience. to be patient. I am sick and
tired of seeing so many people filled with the
spirit, but I yet had to see any fruit of the
spirit. I don't see any fruit of the spirit.
I see a lot of gifts. of the spirit. But I don't
see a lot of fruit of the spirit. And one of
the most major areas in the life of the believer
of someone who is spirit filled and anointed,
anointing smeared is patience. We do not have
enough patience. We don't have enough long suffering.
We don't have enough forbearance. We don't have
enough We don't have enough patience. We don't
have enough suffering. We don't have enough forbearance.
We don't have enough meekness. Because meekness
does not mean weakness. You can be meek and be
strong, but women of God and men of God, I'm
talking to all of you, but I heard the man of
God say this is particularly for some women.
Sisters, the brothers need your patience, but
I will also say we also need your honesty. in
patience. We need you to exercise patience with
honesty and balance honesty with patience. Don't
be honest but hard and don't be patient and a
pushover because any man that knows that he can
push you over will eventually continue to push
you over until he has used you up and now you
want to blame all men for the deficiency of your
relationship. Or you snap and you do things that
are completely out of character for yourself
and out of character for the Christian faith
if you call yourself a kingdom woman. And so
we need to balance that honesty with patience.
patients with honesty so that we can have healthy
relationships. Patience is an extremely rare,
long suffering and forbearance and all the fruit
of the spirit is extremely rare in a lot of relationships,
particularly with young women who are overexposed
to social media. But we have, let me say this,
I'm finna cuss. Social media is a drug and is
infecting the minds of people who are consuming
entirely too much of the wrong thing. You should
not be getting your relationship advice from
just any and everybody. You should be getting
your relationship advice from people who have
the heart of God. who have the heart of God,
who have a track record of godliness and a track
record of Christ's likeness and a track record
of sensibility and balance and consistency and
stick -to -it -ness. You should be getting your
relationship advice from the Word of God and
from proven voices who you know and can tell
have the heart of God. Otherwise, you're leading
yourself off the cliff. It's like... I think
a lot of times now what we have done is we have
gotten in love with junk food which is what I'm
saying is we've linked to all of these red pill
communities that are telling us every toxic trait
of relationships but not telling us what is good
with relationships. They will tell you everything
bad. They will pit women against men, men against
women constantly. That's why I wanted a soul
like this on the network to where they can see
that like, look, this is how you truly date while
you are anointed. This is how you this is how
you can truly do it. It's like it can be done.
It's not hard, but it's going to take a lot of
work from both parties. Both parties have to
put in the same amount of work, and it's going
to take you being honest with yourself. You are
going to have to take a look at yourself. Because
there have been relationships that I have been
in where the person was a wonderful person. That
was wonderful. They had a lot going for themselves.
They just wasn't for me. Yeah. And I will be
honest. There was times where I kept people that
wasn't for me longer than what it was, then I
should have. And there's something that you said
that I really love where you said, sex with proven
voices. I can tell y 'all. There are... There
was a situation that I was in relationship and
I was in love. Man, you couldn't tell me this
wasn't the one. This is it. This is it. Our communication
is on point. We have a great communication. We
on the phone, 24 seven, we laughing, we cracking
jokes, we praying together at night. Man, this
is it. There was one night. This is the funny
part. I was going to introduce her to Dr. Receder.
Dr. Receder tells me, son, I'm busy tonight.
Give it a couple of weeks. I want to see how
she does after a couple of weeks. Let's wait.
She said, I'm not saying it's a bad thing, but
something in my spirit is telling me, give her
a couple of weeks before she meets me. That couple
of weeks before she met her, it was already a
done deal. Like, because I'm starting to see
the red flags. And I'm like, and I had to laugh.
I'm like, now, if I were to bother you, she said,
oh, I would have seen them wear flags from jump.
She said, because at that moment, you can't see
it because you so Google Gaga you got to get
people in your corner that don't have that and
that can see it from the outside looking in so
like you said you got to get those proven voices
get you some people around you that you trust
and that you know have that same anointing that
you have I've said this before and I'll say it
again I have some People around me right now
that are like my sisters that are like my other
mamas If the woman that I get Cannot meet the
characteristics that these women are coming with
I Don't want you because God has already shown
me that I'm not asking for too much Yeah, yeah,
I know that's real Funny enough, I made sure
that I introduced my last partner. But, gradually,
we did not have a very long relationship. And
I do mourn the fact that the relationship did
not last and that the person that I truly was
ready to commit to could not have enough of what
I would have said, patience to see us through
from where we were to where we have arrived at
to where we're going. I don't know if that's
simply going to be the only word that I highlight
tonight. It's not. I'm going to make sure that
it's not because it's really important that we
not only have patience but we have insight. We
need to have some insight on ourselves if we're
going to be dating and courting and partnering
with people as anointed man or woman of God.
And we also need to make sure that we have insight
on the other person, on the other party in our
relationship. Do we know enough about each other?
And are we okay having boundaries with what we
know? Because here's the truth that sisters brothers.
There are some men and even some women who want
to know more about you than they have earned
the right to know. And I'll even go so far to
say this. There is no man on earth and no woman
on earth. Very rarely, maybe I'll say very rarely,
very rarely can you find a man or a woman on
earth who can be your everything. Particularly
because as Kingdom people, we reserve the everything
spot for God. People are limited. People will
disappoint you. People will let you down and
you will be let down in a relationship. However,
can you still respect that person? Can you still
honor that person? Can you still choose that
person? even after your friction. So I am praying
that moving forward into the latter part of this
year that there are more spaces and more places
where Kingdom people, where people of God can
get together and really begin saying and talking
and getting more of the nuts and bolts of healthy
relationships. out in the open because we have
a lot of broken hearts a lot of Disappointments
that could have been resolved had there been
a greater sense of insight with yourself Okay,
you want to know all of this, but why are your
intentions pure? You want to do all of this,
but why are your motives toward that person pure?
Or do you just want to be a control freak because
you couldn't have your way in the last relationship?
See there's a lot of unhealed trauma that we
bring from other relationships into a new situation
and no matter how hard that person tries, because
you have yet to unpack what you have going on
over there, you're making them fight a battle
they didn't sign up for. You've got to make sure,
my sister and my brother, that you're not making
your partner sign up for a battle or that they
did not agree to. And don't sign them up for
expectations that they didn't agree to. Don't
put expectations on them. They didn't agree to.
They're not mind readers. We're not mind readers.
The only person who knows all things and feels
all things is God. I feel me. You know, I can
be discerning and the spirit may allow me to
see you or I can be intuitive and sense or I
can be aware and hear and feel that something
is off, something's in it, something needs to
be addressed. But don't place the burden of me
reading your mind that when I don't read your
mind, I'm the enemy, I'm the devil, and I'm all
these names. No, I think we need to get back
to having healthy relationships, healthy conversations.
And I want to see more healthy forums, whether
there's just two or three, or a dozen or a couple
hundred, where we really begin to chop at the
tree of resentment and unforgiveness and bitterness
and unhealthy habits and practices that we skew
onto our partners so that we can get back to
having better and healthy relationships. I agree,
man. I agree. Like we gotta have better communication
because communication is the most important part.
Like if you do not communicate, your relationship
is doomed to fail. Like if you don't communicate,
you are setting yourself up for failure. If you
don't communicate, you are setting yourself up
for disaster. If you don't communicate, you are
setting yourself up for downfall, you setting
yourself up for everything that you don't want.
Because there's been situations that I've been
in that if I would have just listened to sound
advice, I would have kept myself out of trouble.
I would have kept myself out of situations if
I would have just been obedient and listened
to what others have told me. But, you know, we
are, we hard -headed at times. Oh no, I did what
you did too. I brought it to Dr. Rashida. I did.
And she told me what she saw. And what she thought
and what she sensed. Not just about her, but
about me too. But about you. Exactly. And she
said, I'm praying for you. I'm gonna pray y 'all
down the aisle, but I'm praying for you. And
to this day, she's still praying for me as my
big sister mom. But yes, having community, having
healthy community, not a community of yes men
or yes women who only tell you what you want
to hear, because a lot of women have surrounded
themselves with a whole bunch of yes clean, and
you know, you go girl, and a lot of y 'all have
done that. You've created whole yes communities.
Meanwhile, y 'all keep, your girlfriends are
the reason you're still single. They don't want
to have that discussion though. They don't want
to have that discussion. who keep telling you
what you want to hear are the reason you're still
single. The problem that we have in this generation
is that we do not have, here's what I really
want to see. I want to see some of the wise elder
women coaching and teaching the young women.
Not a group of your peers will want to tell you
whatever you want to hear. Because see my grandmother
at 92 years old is not going to tell me what
I want to hear. She's going to tell me what I
need to hear because that lady right there has
seen almost a century of relationships in and
out, up and down. And while, yes, from a entirely
different era, that's not all a bad thing. There's
some great things about the fact that she's been
on for 100 years of relationships, ends, ups,
downs, and she's married a couple of folks, officiated
my wedding. Because I trusted that, you know,
that consistency and that longevity is critical
to what we need in this era. And so, absolutely,
it's important that we make sure that we have
some people in our lives who are going to tell
us what we need to hear, not just what we want
to hear. And, sisters, please make sure that
you are surrounded by a bunch of women who are
the reason that you're still single and stay
single. Get into a relationship. The man don't
do what you want him to do because you want to
be in control. You want to wear pants in relationship.
You want to you want you want things to go your
way and when they don't go your way you cry and
whine and fuss and fight and argue and create
tension and havoc and and rick mayhem and chaos
in the house and you wonder why he's out with
his boys. Wonder why he had this one and that
one. We're not condoning or promoting cheating
or infidelity or lack of faithfulness. What we're
saying is that, as someone said, if you don't
want me looking over here, make sure you give
me every reason not to. Now some of y 'all don't
want to hear that because you want to say to
them, well, you shouldn't be doing that anyway.
Here's the thing that we have to understand.
Men and women are wired differently. And you
cannot be insecure if you're going to be in a
relationship with an annoying person. You gotta
cure your insecurities. If you're going to be
in a relationship with an annoying person and
you want that thing to last, you gotta cure your
insecurities. If you gotta get your phone back
at the door. If you gotta take some medication,
if you gotta read some books, if you gotta listen
to some podcasts. If you gotta start journaling.
Write your feelings down. So when he says hello,
you don't spew fire. You say I'm hello. You say
hello back He he said one word but now he's getting
a five page a five page He just said hello But
you have your emotions and and your feelings
and your insecurities now that man has to again
endure now he didn't sign up for yeah, but we
got to do better It's time for us to make this
thing right. Because hey, listen, we want to
be partner. We want to be married. We want to
have healthy families. We want to have healthy
relationships. But not at the expense of our
dignity. You're not about to talk all kind of
crazy to me. And think I'm going to say it right?
And I'm going to be what you appear or desire
for me to be. We've got to find some balance
to this. There's got to be balance to it. And
I believe wholeheartedly with everything in me.
because there's some brothers who desire to be
married, they desire to be partnered, they desire
to be in healthy relationships, they desire to
have healthy families. But there are some conditions
that have to be met. In order for men, women
need to work harder at being a safe place and
a safe space for men. Man, you ain't never lied.
You ain't never lied. We want you to be a safe
place and a safe space for men, not a war zone.
The man's on the birthshed around his own house
or in his own relationship when he's supposed
to be the man, the head of the household, the
husband. I've heard people saying it, so I guess
we need to say it. The man is not the head of
woman, the husband is the head of the wife. However,
before you get the wife title. You need to show
wife level submission and loyalty and respect
and honor and dignity. You can't disrespect him
all the way up to the wedding and all of a sudden
because y 'all now you're married, you want to
respect him. You can't say I'll respect him or
I'll give him honor and dignity when he shows
me he's the man that deserves it. No man knows
how this works. If that's your attitude, you
need to fix it or you need to get with a man
who actually deserves it. or it's proven that
he's honorable and loyal and worthy of respect.
But I'll be honest, some of y 'all disrespect
men even if they are honorable. And that's a
character flaw that needs to be taken care of
in you. You need to seek God about that. What
is in my heart? Is it my father? Is it my brother?
Was it a bad relationship? Was it a man in my
life who didn't handle me and now I gotta get
back at them? Or do I not see myself as the one
that God sees me as? because some things are
not about other people. Because even if somebody
else disrespects me, dishonors me, degrades me,
I have enough class and dignity within myself
to say, I refuse to be associated with certain
behavior. I refuse to be associated with certain
behavior. I don't want to marry that feels like
the bad girls club. I want to marry that feels
like the preacher's life. The good guy. I don't
get your voice. I'm on a Zeus network. I don't
want that. I'll catch it here and there. I don't
want a relationship that feels like I'm on either
the Zeus network or the bad girl's club. I want
a relationship that feels like God is in it.
and the peace of God is moving us forward and
the love of God is surrounding us and the power
of God is repelling us from one place to another.
Man, we gotta do a part two to this. We have
to do a part two to this. There will be a part
two, y 'all. we will be getting with my brother
to get a part two done because we just scratched
in the surface, y 'all. We barely scratched in
the surface. So right now what I'm gonna do is
I'm gonna let my brother tell y 'all where y
'all can find him at, give y 'all his social
media, that way y 'all can go over there and
show him some love over there. And then we will
see y 'all on next week. I appreciate you, man.
Thank you so much. My social media handle is
right there in the caption, summonsxglobal, S
-E -R -M -O -N -X -X -Global. Yes, summons is
my real ass name. It's a whole family of us.
We're up in all the East Coast around the country
and around the globe. Oh man, I am so honored
to be here. Listen, I want to say a prayer for
you really quickly if you don't mind. Father,
we're grateful and thankful that you have given
us this day and this moment and this time to
discuss your heart concerning us and that is
relationships. Lord, it is your will that none
of us should be alone. You said it in the book
of Genesis. It is not your desire that we should
be alone. So you have designed and desired and
equipped help meets and partners for us. Father,
I pray that you will bless my sister, bless my
brother with the wisdom and the foresight and
the insight and the patience. Stir up them in
them the fruit of the spirit beyond their gift,
beyond their talent, beyond their anointing,
beyond their special ability, beyond their unique
capacity. Stir them up in them the fruit of the
spirit that they may pursue what is the mind
and the perfect. will of God for them concerning
their relationships. Father, we pray peace tonight.
Peace over every home and peace over every heart.
Peace over every intention. Peace over every
agenda. Tonight we pray for clarity. Father,
bring clarity to everything that is cloudy. Bring
clarity to everything that is disjointed. Bring
clarity to everything that is disaligned and
misaligned. Father, we pray that you would allow
your people to experience peace, love, and joy,
and most importantly, a testimony of your goodness
because you're a loving Father and you desire
that all of our needs be met and all of our needs
be supplied. Father, help us to remember that
it is our responsibility to seek first the kingdom
of God and your righteousness and His righteousness
and all the things that we desire, including
healthy relationships, shall be added to us.
Father, they give you praise for creating a circle
that feels like heaven. It is in Jesus' name
we decree that it is so. Amen. Amen. Amen. Amen.
We will see y 'all on the mall for Wheel Talk
Monday. Y 'all get ready. We got a full lineup
this week, y 'all. Full lineup and we excited,
all right? God bless y 'all. Peace. See y 'all
tomorrow night. Now what I need y 'all to do
is like this says, like and subscribe. Also,
I need y 'all to share and I need y 'all to tag.
And I need y 'all to turn on that notification
bell over here on YouTube. That lets YouTube
know that you like content like this. On behalf
of everyone here at the network, we appreciate
you because we couldn't release content the way
that we do without your support. So as I always
say, sometimes at this appointment, there's nothing
more than God's appointments meeting. Sometimes
if we look at his bag, God is only coming around
for our good. Stay blessed, be blessed, and be
a blessing to someone else. And I'll see y 'all
on the next episode. Peace.