WEBVTT 00:00:15.900 --> 00:00:18.679 Yeah, yeah, you say you say you say you're ready 00:00:18.679 --> 00:00:21.559 today. You say you're ready You feel like it's 00:00:21.559 --> 00:00:26.679 fate join James and Dr. J Sundays 10 p .m Don't 00:00:26.679 --> 00:00:30.519 be late for dating while anointing Sundays 10 00:00:30.519 --> 00:00:39.159 p .m. It's great What's going on everybody? Welcome 00:00:39.159 --> 00:00:42.799 to another episode of Dating While Anointed. 00:00:43.219 --> 00:00:47.179 I am your co -host Rashida Jay here along with 00:00:47.179 --> 00:00:51.979 my co -host Reverend James H Glover III and I'm 00:00:51.979 --> 00:00:54.060 gonna call all of his credentials out because 00:00:54.060 --> 00:00:56.859 I want all of the ladies listening to know who 00:00:56.859 --> 00:01:02.850 he is. don't want I don't want a certain young 00:01:02.850 --> 00:01:04.969 woman to kill me but okay so that's where we 00:01:04.969 --> 00:01:09.010 at welcome welcome welcome what up James what 00:01:09.010 --> 00:01:12.510 up mama what up what up what up I am scared tonight 00:01:12.510 --> 00:01:14.709 y 'all she won't tell me what we talking about 00:01:14.709 --> 00:01:20.409 have I ever given you any reason to fear me no 00:01:20.409 --> 00:01:25.090 but normally I know what we talking about Well, 00:01:25.209 --> 00:01:27.909 well just chill. So tonight we're gonna talk 00:01:27.909 --> 00:01:30.109 about you guys know this is dating while anointed 00:01:30.109 --> 00:01:33.969 and the preface of our show is to Talk about 00:01:33.969 --> 00:01:37.750 chat about discuss dating when you are anointed 00:01:37.750 --> 00:01:40.049 and those of you here in the kingdom space Understand 00:01:40.049 --> 00:01:42.390 what anointed means we don't have to explain 00:01:42.390 --> 00:01:44.209 it but for those that might be coming in that 00:01:44.209 --> 00:01:46.090 don't really understand what we're saying We're 00:01:46.090 --> 00:01:49.590 talking about a kingdom living kingdom minded, 00:01:49.609 --> 00:01:53.290 kingdom purposeful individuals that are on the 00:01:53.290 --> 00:01:55.870 mission field or in the mission field for Jesus 00:01:55.870 --> 00:01:59.349 Christ, the Savior of our life. So let's pray 00:01:59.349 --> 00:02:01.709 really quickly. James, you go ahead and lead 00:02:01.709 --> 00:02:05.969 us in prayer while I get you in the hot seat 00:02:05.969 --> 00:02:09.789 tonight. Dear Lord Heavenly Father, we thank 00:02:09.789 --> 00:02:11.430 you for this day. We thank you for everything 00:02:11.430 --> 00:02:15.030 that you have done in order to continue. We thank 00:02:15.030 --> 00:02:17.669 you, Lord, for everyone that is watching this 00:02:17.669 --> 00:02:21.530 broadcast of the night, Lord. Let something we 00:02:21.530 --> 00:02:23.909 say, let something we do be pleased in and outside. 00:02:24.610 --> 00:02:26.830 Lord, strengthen us while we are weak and build 00:02:26.830 --> 00:02:29.110 us up where we are pulling down. Move myself 00:02:29.110 --> 00:02:31.490 and my mama out of the way and let Your name 00:02:31.490 --> 00:02:33.229 get the glory, Your name get the honor, Your 00:02:33.229 --> 00:02:35.710 name get the praise. In Jesus' name we pray. 00:02:36.229 --> 00:02:39.250 Amen. Amen. So, guys, we're working on something 00:02:39.250 --> 00:02:42.219 amazing. It's about to be... mind blowing, and 00:02:42.219 --> 00:02:44.000 I know that dating while anointing is going to 00:02:44.000 --> 00:02:46.000 be a big part of it. We're not talking about 00:02:46.000 --> 00:02:47.560 that right now, though. We're about to talk about 00:02:47.560 --> 00:02:51.479 attachment styles in dating. So I want to discover, 00:02:51.759 --> 00:02:56.479 I want us to talk about the behavioral and emotional 00:02:56.479 --> 00:03:00.810 blueprints that are A part of our structure, 00:03:01.009 --> 00:03:05.129 like our natural being, when we talk about romantic 00:03:05.129 --> 00:03:07.810 relationships, most of them are rooted in our 00:03:07.810 --> 00:03:11.590 childhood experiences, where we come from, what 00:03:11.590 --> 00:03:14.650 we have experienced with our family members and 00:03:14.650 --> 00:03:18.129 our parents, and how we were raised really has 00:03:18.129 --> 00:03:22.710 a lot to do with. our dating attachment styles. 00:03:23.050 --> 00:03:25.469 And it also, our dating attachment styles also 00:03:25.469 --> 00:03:27.930 have a lot to do with where we are in the dating 00:03:27.930 --> 00:03:34.689 scene currently. So there are four that I wanna 00:03:34.689 --> 00:03:37.849 touch on for dating attachment styles that I 00:03:37.849 --> 00:03:39.969 wanna touch on tonight. And then we're gonna, 00:03:40.289 --> 00:03:42.870 James and I are gonna share some insight and 00:03:42.870 --> 00:03:47.090 some stories. So there is a secure attachment 00:03:47.090 --> 00:03:53.020 style, an anxious, and avoidant and a disorganized. 00:03:53.479 --> 00:03:56.280 The secure is a person that is comfortable with 00:03:56.280 --> 00:04:00.060 both intimacy and independence, meaning you communicate 00:04:00.060 --> 00:04:03.340 openly, you trust your partner, you can tolerate 00:04:03.340 --> 00:04:06.780 the natural uncertainties of dating, like you're 00:04:06.780 --> 00:04:09.900 cool, you're just a chill, right? Whatever happens 00:04:09.900 --> 00:04:13.000 happens kind of person, you know, and it is what 00:04:13.000 --> 00:04:17.170 it is kind of person. An anxious person craves 00:04:17.170 --> 00:04:22.370 closeness, but intensely fears abandonment. This 00:04:22.370 --> 00:04:26.189 can make this person hyper aware of their partner's 00:04:26.189 --> 00:04:30.449 behaviors, leading to a need for frequent reassurance 00:04:30.449 --> 00:04:33.370 and heightened anxiety during slow communication. 00:04:35.029 --> 00:04:39.430 Anxious attachment, avoiding or dismissive is 00:04:39.430 --> 00:04:42.569 a person that highly prioritized their independence 00:04:42.569 --> 00:04:45.879 and self -reliance. They can do you or not. They 00:04:45.879 --> 00:04:48.480 can have you or not. When relationships become 00:04:48.480 --> 00:04:53.279 emotionally intense, a person that is avoided 00:04:53.279 --> 00:04:59.680 might subconsciously distance themselves, suppress 00:04:59.680 --> 00:05:02.300 their emotions, and pull away from commitment. 00:05:03.279 --> 00:05:07.259 A disorganized or fearful avoidant type of attachment 00:05:07.259 --> 00:05:11.139 desires emotional closeness, but also fear it. 00:05:11.610 --> 00:05:14.949 leading to an unpredictable kind of lukewarm 00:05:14.949 --> 00:05:18.529 situation and behavior. One day we on, one day 00:05:18.529 --> 00:05:21.290 we not. And you may want a relationship, but 00:05:21.290 --> 00:05:23.930 push away from it out of the fear of being hurt. 00:05:24.589 --> 00:05:31.290 So James, let's talk. Let's do it. As an anointed 00:05:31.290 --> 00:05:38.250 person, what type of attachment style is not 00:05:38.250 --> 00:05:45.360 your favorite? the on again, off again. Okay, 00:05:45.420 --> 00:05:47.600 let's go. Let's talk about it. The on again, 00:05:47.839 --> 00:05:50.639 that lukewarm kind of person. Oh, yeah. Because 00:05:50.639 --> 00:05:56.699 at this point, we are, if we are dating, we are 00:05:56.699 --> 00:06:02.459 grown. Yes. And at this point, in our grown age, 00:06:03.240 --> 00:06:05.839 I ain't got time to be dealing with the one minute 00:06:05.839 --> 00:06:08.240 we own, one minute we are. What are we really 00:06:08.240 --> 00:06:12.759 doing? like I got a million things on my plate. 00:06:13.699 --> 00:06:16.379 And one of the things that I would fuse to add 00:06:16.379 --> 00:06:20.459 to my plate right now is the lukewarmness. I'm 00:06:20.459 --> 00:06:22.480 not going to play no games with you. You don't 00:06:22.480 --> 00:06:24.300 need to be playing no games with me. What are 00:06:24.300 --> 00:06:27.319 we really doing? So do you communicate it or 00:06:27.319 --> 00:06:30.699 do you feel like it is like if a person is lukewarm 00:06:30.699 --> 00:06:33.959 that they just play in games because I'm an overthinker. 00:06:33.959 --> 00:06:36.519 So I'm like, listen, if they lukewarm, they not 00:06:36.519 --> 00:06:41.509 interested. Bingo. But me, accents speak louder 00:06:41.509 --> 00:06:44.370 than words. You can say that you want to rest 00:06:44.370 --> 00:06:47.930 it all day. But if your accents aren't saying 00:06:47.930 --> 00:06:51.350 the same thing, what are we really doing? What 00:06:51.350 --> 00:06:53.310 are we really doing? So what would you say is 00:06:53.310 --> 00:06:58.209 your, um, attachment style? What do you, do you 00:06:58.209 --> 00:07:01.730 crave a deep closeness? Do you have a, do you 00:07:01.730 --> 00:07:06.019 have? and a fear of like someone leaving or, 00:07:06.279 --> 00:07:07.980 you know, you kind of like, oh, well, you know, 00:07:08.019 --> 00:07:10.040 it is what it is, but I'm not dealing with no 00:07:10.040 --> 00:07:13.040 on -off person that just ain't ready for me. 00:07:13.100 --> 00:07:16.060 Because you are on a mission as a man. Let's 00:07:16.060 --> 00:07:21.680 talk about it. Officer, like for me, I need a 00:07:21.680 --> 00:07:28.600 woman and thank God for the one that he's already 00:07:28.600 --> 00:07:33.879 preparing for me. Right. already knows what he's 00:07:33.879 --> 00:07:36.439 doing. I don't have to question what we're doing 00:07:36.439 --> 00:07:39.339 because he's already coming to the table, ready 00:07:39.339 --> 00:07:42.740 to work, ready to grind, and we work in together. 00:07:43.300 --> 00:07:47.819 Like, there is no on again, off again. We both 00:07:47.819 --> 00:07:54.490 on the same mission. Do you think that... So 00:07:54.490 --> 00:07:58.290 you're more of a secure type of data. Like you 00:07:58.290 --> 00:08:00.949 are comfortable with intimacy, but you're also 00:08:00.949 --> 00:08:03.230 comfortable with like being independent or her 00:08:03.230 --> 00:08:06.910 being independent. You want to be able to trust 00:08:06.910 --> 00:08:09.589 her, but you can still tolerate. Like if she 00:08:09.589 --> 00:08:12.089 just go missing for a couple of days, as long 00:08:12.089 --> 00:08:14.790 as she communicate where she is, like if you're 00:08:14.790 --> 00:08:18.350 not banging down the door trying to get to her. 00:08:18.810 --> 00:08:22.709 Because for me, I want my woman. to have something 00:08:22.709 --> 00:08:29.170 going on besides being my woman. I can do that. 00:08:29.269 --> 00:08:33.429 That makes complete sense. Now tell me when we 00:08:33.429 --> 00:08:35.830 talk about that, when we go in that direction, 00:08:36.009 --> 00:08:39.190 I've had a lot of experiences this weekend. One 00:08:39.190 --> 00:08:42.230 of them was spending some time with an older 00:08:42.230 --> 00:08:44.710 gentleman who was experiencing some challenges 00:08:44.710 --> 00:08:51.600 in his situation. And so with that, I realized 00:08:51.600 --> 00:09:00.399 that he is a more avoidance, dismissive kind 00:09:00.399 --> 00:09:04.039 of attachment style, but she's an anxious attachment 00:09:04.039 --> 00:09:10.600 style. The styles don't match up, and I believe 00:09:10.600 --> 00:09:16.000 that communicating expectation can eliminate 00:09:16.000 --> 00:09:20.470 a lot of confusion in relationships. It can, 00:09:21.129 --> 00:09:23.610 because I believe that like communication is 00:09:23.610 --> 00:09:27.669 key. You got to communicate from day one. What's 00:09:27.669 --> 00:09:29.590 your warning? What's your accepting? What's you 00:09:29.590 --> 00:09:32.789 not accepting? What's you will accept? Where 00:09:32.789 --> 00:09:39.809 you're going? Like for me, from day one, I'm 00:09:39.809 --> 00:09:43.830 letting it known where I'm headed. I don't want 00:09:43.830 --> 00:09:46.850 you to have no second guesses. I don't want you 00:09:46.850 --> 00:09:50.240 trying to figure it out. Look. Baby, this is 00:09:50.240 --> 00:09:54.799 what we're going with. Absolutely. Now, when 00:09:54.799 --> 00:09:56.740 we talk about communicating, I think a lot of 00:09:56.740 --> 00:10:00.179 people get communication confused with just talking. 00:10:02.340 --> 00:10:06.500 Communication is deeper than us just talking. 00:10:07.000 --> 00:10:12.240 Communication has to do with what I'm saying, 00:10:12.679 --> 00:10:15.820 the tone in which I'm saying it, and what the 00:10:15.820 --> 00:10:20.480 overall end goal of me communicating with you. 00:10:20.639 --> 00:10:25.139 And so let me lean into this word. James, as 00:10:25.139 --> 00:10:31.500 a man, how do men communicate their expectation 00:10:31.500 --> 00:10:36.179 of the person that they're dating? And at what 00:10:36.179 --> 00:10:39.759 time? Like how long should we be dating before 00:10:39.759 --> 00:10:43.659 you communicate to me what you expect? It depends 00:10:43.659 --> 00:10:47.980 on the kind of a man that's you're dating. If 00:10:47.980 --> 00:10:51.340 you're dating a man that doesn't know where he's 00:10:51.340 --> 00:10:54.759 going, it's going to take y 'all about seven 00:10:54.759 --> 00:10:57.620 months before he even communicates what he wants. 00:10:58.320 --> 00:11:00.340 Because right now, he can't tell you what he 00:11:00.340 --> 00:11:02.059 wants from y 'all because he don't know what 00:11:02.059 --> 00:11:05.440 he wants for a million sale. Now, I'm asking 00:11:05.440 --> 00:11:08.700 you specifically, in what timeline should a man 00:11:08.700 --> 00:11:12.259 communicate what his expectation is? If it's 00:11:12.259 --> 00:11:16.879 a grown man that knows where he's going, and 00:11:16.879 --> 00:11:20.039 what he's doing and got his own thing going on. 00:11:20.279 --> 00:11:22.440 And he's just looking for a woman to come along 00:11:22.440 --> 00:11:27.039 and add access or add more to what he's already 00:11:27.039 --> 00:11:33.080 doing. Day one. I would venture to agree with 00:11:33.080 --> 00:11:35.580 that to some degree. I think that you should 00:11:35.580 --> 00:11:38.940 probably get into maybe like the second or the 00:11:38.940 --> 00:11:41.259 third date before you communicate your expectations. 00:11:42.320 --> 00:11:48.029 Now, me as a woman, It's a little bit off -putting 00:11:48.029 --> 00:11:51.149 when a man comes in forcefully because when they 00:11:51.149 --> 00:11:53.649 come in forcefully, a lot of times the expectations 00:11:53.649 --> 00:11:58.490 are not the ones that we need to understand for 00:11:58.490 --> 00:12:01.029 long -term. They're more shallow short -term 00:12:01.029 --> 00:12:04.309 type of expectations. I expect you to cook in 00:12:04.309 --> 00:12:07.070 the clean, but we haven't even had a communication. 00:12:07.409 --> 00:12:10.190 You don't know if I work 12 or 14 hours a day 00:12:10.190 --> 00:12:15.480 that maybe I can't cook for you every day. what 00:12:15.480 --> 00:12:21.240 is your expectation of me long term? But let's 00:12:21.240 --> 00:12:22.899 bring it back. We're talking about long term, 00:12:22.980 --> 00:12:24.620 but let's bring it back to dating. What type 00:12:24.620 --> 00:12:27.360 of expectation should you have as an individual 00:12:27.360 --> 00:12:30.559 when you're coming into actually dating somebody 00:12:30.559 --> 00:12:34.539 and getting to know them? Your expectations to 00:12:34.539 --> 00:12:37.419 be somebody that you can build with, somebody 00:12:37.419 --> 00:12:39.679 that can be your best friend, somebody that can 00:12:39.679 --> 00:12:43.159 be your lover, somebody that can pray over you. 00:12:43.639 --> 00:12:46.759 through the good times and the bad times. Let 00:12:46.759 --> 00:12:53.519 me be real with you all. I am 36 years old, but 00:12:53.519 --> 00:12:56.399 for most of my life, I have been surrounded by 00:12:56.399 --> 00:13:00.379 a lot of older guys and a lot of older people. 00:13:01.580 --> 00:13:04.820 The group that I sang with is pretty much a bunch 00:13:04.820 --> 00:13:09.519 of older guys in that group. In that group, there 00:13:09.519 --> 00:13:15.710 is over 100 years of merit. If you add all of 00:13:15.710 --> 00:13:18.629 the years of marriages together, it's over 100. 00:13:20.269 --> 00:13:24.590 So it's like I've seen how a successful marriage 00:13:24.590 --> 00:13:28.950 should work. I've witnessed how successful marriage 00:13:28.950 --> 00:13:34.309 should be. So after witnessing it, I know what 00:13:34.309 --> 00:13:39.730 I expect and what I will accept. So again, I 00:13:39.730 --> 00:13:42.110 will bring it back. So now James James is looking 00:13:42.110 --> 00:13:44.629 for a wife y 'all so he is going to lean towards 00:13:44.629 --> 00:13:48.210 taking y 'all to marriage What should your expectations 00:13:48.210 --> 00:13:52.210 be in dating? I say like okay people have expectations 00:13:52.210 --> 00:13:56.309 in dating if you are dating me Or if a person 00:13:56.309 --> 00:13:59.450 is dating me what should be my expectation of 00:13:59.450 --> 00:14:02.289 how they handle situations? I'll give you a good 00:14:02.289 --> 00:14:05.889 one for example one of my good friends Is dating 00:14:05.889 --> 00:14:08.370 multiple people at one time? Okay dating is for 00:14:08.370 --> 00:14:11.360 data. That's cool As long as we we can do that 00:14:11.360 --> 00:14:13.419 because we don't have a commitment with anyone 00:14:13.419 --> 00:14:16.559 I believe in that y 'all I'm sorry like you should 00:14:16.559 --> 00:14:19.139 not be putting all your eggs in one basket because 00:14:19.139 --> 00:14:22.700 you might have Somebody there don't match up 00:14:22.700 --> 00:14:26.700 But in that like she was getting her hair done 00:14:26.700 --> 00:14:30.200 and The four people that she's currently dating 00:14:30.200 --> 00:14:32.740 I'll ask her where she was and she was like oh, 00:14:32.740 --> 00:14:36.399 I'm getting my hair done not one of them ask 00:14:36.399 --> 00:14:40.200 her do she need anything can i pay for it or 00:14:40.200 --> 00:14:46.080 or that's a swipe okay so the thing is now some 00:14:46.080 --> 00:14:48.100 people will say that's not because they like 00:14:48.100 --> 00:14:50.519 oh well that's her responsibility right but my 00:14:50.519 --> 00:14:53.759 thing is that you are dating four different people 00:14:53.759 --> 00:14:56.039 because you're trying to figure out which one 00:14:56.039 --> 00:15:00.110 is going to be the one and not one of them said, 00:15:00.210 --> 00:15:02.210 even though she don't need anything, she got 00:15:02.210 --> 00:15:04.830 the money, she can take care of it. It's just 00:15:04.830 --> 00:15:11.070 the mere fact that they could have asked. For 00:15:11.070 --> 00:15:14.110 me, even if I know you got the money, and I know 00:15:14.110 --> 00:15:18.330 that you could take care of it. If I know that 00:15:18.330 --> 00:15:22.750 we are dating, the minute you tell me you had 00:15:22.750 --> 00:15:26.389 the hair, so long, getting your hair there, I'm 00:15:26.389 --> 00:15:29.259 sending that money over to you. with some extra 00:15:29.259 --> 00:15:32.159 to tell you to get your nails done too. See that 00:15:32.159 --> 00:15:36.320 is okay so that's what I'm talking about by with 00:15:36.320 --> 00:15:40.179 an expectation in dating. Me personally I don't 00:15:40.179 --> 00:15:43.039 have an I have a standard for dating but not 00:15:43.039 --> 00:15:46.240 an expectation so when she said it I understood 00:15:46.240 --> 00:15:48.379 it and then I was listening to another one of 00:15:48.379 --> 00:15:50.720 my friends who he talks about his experiences 00:15:50.720 --> 00:15:55.000 on tiktok all the time and he was he had a similar 00:15:55.000 --> 00:15:59.169 situation so what You guys everybody is listening 00:15:59.169 --> 00:16:01.610 you got to effectively communicate what your 00:16:01.610 --> 00:16:05.330 expectation is I don't I'm not saying that you 00:16:05.330 --> 00:16:07.889 got to communicate that you expect somebody to 00:16:07.889 --> 00:16:10.590 do those things but as a man Why wouldn't you 00:16:10.590 --> 00:16:14.549 want to for somebody that you are dating intentionally 00:16:14.549 --> 00:16:17.929 unless you are dating for or with the another 00:16:17.929 --> 00:16:22.519 purpose and it's funny because I listen to Russell 00:16:22.519 --> 00:16:25.259 Hartley on Instagram if y 'all ain't following 00:16:25.259 --> 00:16:27.919 him he number one tell the truth But he's hilarious. 00:16:28.100 --> 00:16:30.700 He was saying you know why date somebody that 00:16:30.700 --> 00:16:33.120 can't do anything for you What kind are you joining 00:16:33.120 --> 00:16:36.580 a charity volunteer operation or what? So do 00:16:36.580 --> 00:16:40.279 you think that men? specifically men I know that 00:16:40.279 --> 00:16:42.679 women should have their own and be financially 00:16:42.679 --> 00:16:44.759 sound too But do you think that men should be 00:16:44.759 --> 00:16:47.159 financially sound before dating or approaching 00:16:47.159 --> 00:16:53.320 a woman? I feel that it depends on the kind of 00:16:53.320 --> 00:16:55.659 a woman that she's wanting. If you're wanting 00:16:55.659 --> 00:16:59.299 a woman that you are thinking about marrying, 00:16:59.759 --> 00:17:02.960 you need to be financially sale. But if you're 00:17:02.960 --> 00:17:07.160 looking just to date, just to date, you don't 00:17:07.160 --> 00:17:10.000 have to be. You don't have to be, but you still 00:17:10.000 --> 00:17:12.759 gotta have some money. Oh yeah, for sure. For 00:17:12.759 --> 00:17:15.819 sure. You gotta have money. For sure. Yeah, so 00:17:15.819 --> 00:17:19.660 it okay. So now in you dating somebody let's 00:17:19.660 --> 00:17:23.599 say you just met somebody yesterday What is your 00:17:23.599 --> 00:17:27.460 what is your expectation as a man? What do you 00:17:27.460 --> 00:17:32.799 expect? to happen when you ask her out on the 00:17:32.799 --> 00:17:38.019 date If I met you and I ask you out that means 00:17:38.019 --> 00:17:41.079 that I've been studying you already If I'm asking 00:17:41.079 --> 00:17:43.720 you out, I'm not just asking you out just because 00:17:43.720 --> 00:17:49.880 I just saw you. I think you keep it. No, I am 00:17:49.880 --> 00:17:55.599 strategic. You're strategic, but in the social 00:17:55.599 --> 00:17:58.779 media dating app world, you might end up going 00:17:58.779 --> 00:18:02.180 out with somebody that you haven't studied and 00:18:02.180 --> 00:18:05.920 that you don't. Even in the social media dating 00:18:05.920 --> 00:18:12.430 app world, they got bios up. Yeah. Because I 00:18:12.430 --> 00:18:16.390 want to be clear in what we're communicating, 00:18:16.750 --> 00:18:20.890 take me through the first day. The first day 00:18:20.890 --> 00:18:23.410 would be something fun, something like that. 00:18:23.970 --> 00:18:26.049 Like I would remember something that you told 00:18:26.049 --> 00:18:28.990 me that she wanted to do. Like if you said that 00:18:28.990 --> 00:18:32.049 like you want to go to like a concert, guess 00:18:32.049 --> 00:18:34.789 what? I'm gonna send you, we're gonna go to like 00:18:34.789 --> 00:18:36.809 a concert in the park or something like that 00:18:36.809 --> 00:18:40.000 and then walk in the park. by the weather side 00:18:40.000 --> 00:18:43.420 and maybe go get some ice cream. Something like 00:18:43.420 --> 00:18:46.339 that. That would be the first day. Something 00:18:46.339 --> 00:18:50.420 like to where we can get to know each other a 00:18:50.420 --> 00:18:55.000 little bit better to have a conversation. So 00:18:55.000 --> 00:18:57.720 do you have an expectation to spend money, James? 00:18:59.359 --> 00:19:02.819 For sure. You have to because that's showing 00:19:02.819 --> 00:19:08.519 how interested that you are. So you think that 00:19:08.519 --> 00:19:12.539 You have do you believe that you have to do that 00:19:12.539 --> 00:19:15.099 to show a woman how interested you are or could 00:19:15.099 --> 00:19:17.880 you say hey, let's meet up and let's go take 00:19:17.880 --> 00:19:21.500 a walk on the beach It depends on what that woman 00:19:21.500 --> 00:19:24.839 likes and what she has said that she wanted to 00:19:24.839 --> 00:19:28.720 do Now there are some things that she could do 00:19:28.720 --> 00:19:33.869 that can be free but let's be real and let's 00:19:33.869 --> 00:19:36.769 be honest with some women if you are telling 00:19:36.769 --> 00:19:39.190 them yo we just gonna go for a walk on the park 00:19:39.190 --> 00:19:42.230 on the first day and you ain't spending no money 00:19:42.230 --> 00:19:47.069 first thing they're gonna say is he broke he 00:19:47.069 --> 00:19:52.670 does exactly but okay so ladies and gentlemen 00:19:52.670 --> 00:19:56.349 let's let's pay close attention to something 00:19:56.349 --> 00:20:00.789 even if That's okay with you. Like you're okay 00:20:00.789 --> 00:20:03.329 with meeting him up, meeting up with him at the 00:20:03.329 --> 00:20:06.089 beach. I live at the beach. So meeting up with 00:20:06.089 --> 00:20:08.769 him at the beach or on the boardwalk, walking 00:20:08.769 --> 00:20:11.789 or taking a drive at that thing. Be observant 00:20:11.789 --> 00:20:15.549 still of how he treats you. Does he open and 00:20:15.549 --> 00:20:18.490 close doors? Did he ask you if you were thirsty 00:20:18.490 --> 00:20:20.349 or you need something to drink? Because even 00:20:20.349 --> 00:20:25.700 a broke man can buy you a bottle of water. Did 00:20:25.700 --> 00:20:29.440 he consider it? Did he walk on the outside or 00:20:29.440 --> 00:20:32.619 the inside next to the street or not? You've 00:20:32.619 --> 00:20:36.880 got to take time to be observing in the process. 00:20:37.539 --> 00:20:42.200 And so first day, I don't have very low expectations 00:20:42.200 --> 00:20:44.619 for a person until they tell me who they are. 00:20:44.920 --> 00:20:46.920 So I tell you something that happened to me this 00:20:46.920 --> 00:20:49.660 week, because I don't have, I'm cool. I don't 00:20:49.660 --> 00:20:55.240 have no reason that I can't say it. Last week 00:20:55.240 --> 00:20:58.240 Friday I saw I'm gonna go have lunch and I go 00:20:58.240 --> 00:21:00.940 have lunch by myself almost every day I did it 00:21:00.940 --> 00:21:03.359 today. I went I sat outside a little Greek restaurant, 00:21:03.359 --> 00:21:06.119 but on Friday. I was like, oh, I want some Applebee's 00:21:06.119 --> 00:21:09.759 I Just wanted some junk food and that's my that's 00:21:09.759 --> 00:21:12.500 what I consider junk food And so I was like, 00:21:12.579 --> 00:21:14.700 oh, I'm gonna go to Applebee's so I went to Applebee's 00:21:14.700 --> 00:21:17.180 but I'm by myself So I sat at the bar because 00:21:17.180 --> 00:21:19.400 it was just easy like let me get served real 00:21:19.400 --> 00:21:21.839 quick. I got an hour I got to go back to lunch. 00:21:22.039 --> 00:21:24.599 I mean go back to work So I go and I sit at the 00:21:24.599 --> 00:21:27.000 bar and minding my business saying, bother nobody, 00:21:27.500 --> 00:21:31.420 a man comes in. Now what was what stuck out to 00:21:31.420 --> 00:21:34.759 me is that he and I both had on the same contrast, 00:21:35.039 --> 00:21:37.519 like the same colors, exact same colors, right? 00:21:37.680 --> 00:21:41.259 He came in and he walked past me at the bar to 00:21:41.259 --> 00:21:44.819 go up to the hostess stand for the young lady 00:21:44.819 --> 00:21:47.529 to see him. Well, the young lady that was seeing 00:21:47.529 --> 00:21:50.069 him was the bartender. So she left from behind 00:21:50.069 --> 00:21:52.309 the bar. She went and got him. He came to sit 00:21:52.309 --> 00:21:54.849 in a booth behind where I was sitting at the 00:21:54.849 --> 00:21:59.630 bar. And so immediately, without a thought, without 00:21:59.630 --> 00:22:01.470 a hello or anything, he looked at me. He said, 00:22:01.509 --> 00:22:04.609 are you eating alone? And I was, look at James, 00:22:04.769 --> 00:22:08.880 already grinning. Get him, Team Marie. So I say, 00:22:08.940 --> 00:22:11.359 yeah, like, yeah, I'm at lunch. I'm just, you 00:22:11.359 --> 00:22:12.779 know, I'm just here. I'm chilling. I'm at lunch. 00:22:13.059 --> 00:22:15.400 And he was like, you want to come and join me 00:22:15.400 --> 00:22:24.119 in the booth. And I was like, no, I don't. That's 00:22:24.119 --> 00:22:26.339 me. I'm sorry. That's me. I'm not going to sit 00:22:26.339 --> 00:22:29.220 in a booth with this man. I don't know him. So 00:22:29.220 --> 00:22:32.359 I said, no, but it's a seat right here. You're 00:22:32.359 --> 00:22:34.160 welcome to come and sit next to me at the bar. 00:22:34.420 --> 00:22:38.359 This man sat down at their bar. And I promise 00:22:38.359 --> 00:22:43.660 you, I had, he talked to me, from the time he 00:22:43.660 --> 00:22:47.519 sat down to the time he got up, literally, from 00:22:47.519 --> 00:22:49.539 the time he sat down from the time I got up, 00:22:49.660 --> 00:22:52.680 because I had to say to him, are you gonna order 00:22:52.680 --> 00:22:55.579 your food, right? Like, you know, because he 00:22:55.579 --> 00:22:57.099 was talking with me with paying attention, he 00:22:57.099 --> 00:22:59.279 was telling me all kinds of everything, just 00:22:59.279 --> 00:23:01.400 talking to me about, I mean, just talking about 00:23:01.400 --> 00:23:06.569 every thing. And so I had a conversation, with 00:23:06.569 --> 00:23:15.250 him at sitting at the bar at lunch. Now, what 00:23:15.250 --> 00:23:17.289 you got to say, James, what you want to say? 00:23:17.490 --> 00:23:19.410 I know you want to say something. Did you get 00:23:19.410 --> 00:23:21.529 the number, though? That's what I want to know. 00:23:21.970 --> 00:23:26.529 See, now I got to tell everything. So anyway, 00:23:27.529 --> 00:23:30.289 I met a gentleman and he asked for my number. 00:23:30.390 --> 00:23:32.589 He asked for my number. He was complete gentleman 00:23:32.589 --> 00:23:35.940 asked for my number. He was like, hey, I'm off 00:23:35.940 --> 00:23:39.539 today. Call me when you get off, you know, like 00:23:39.539 --> 00:23:44.119 we can continue this conversation. So let me 00:23:44.119 --> 00:23:47.099 say something to our listeners tonight. I want 00:23:47.099 --> 00:23:49.700 you all to be encouraged and know that there 00:23:49.700 --> 00:23:53.359 are still people that are real out in the world. 00:23:53.519 --> 00:23:55.960 There's still people that are honest, that are 00:23:55.960 --> 00:23:59.619 trustworthy, that want to create genuine and 00:23:59.619 --> 00:24:03.430 organic connection with you. But what you have 00:24:03.430 --> 00:24:07.230 to do is put yourself in a place to meet them 00:24:07.230 --> 00:24:10.029 now I'm not saying that I'm dating anybody because 00:24:10.029 --> 00:24:17.230 I'm not I'm just not but with that But with that 00:24:17.230 --> 00:24:23.170 Guys he's not coming to your living room He's 00:24:23.170 --> 00:24:24.670 not he's not gonna climb through your window 00:24:24.670 --> 00:24:27.630 if he is he came there to burglarize the place 00:24:27.630 --> 00:24:31.380 not to find a wife and you have to be open and 00:24:31.380 --> 00:24:34.380 willing to put yourself in places. And the reason 00:24:34.380 --> 00:24:37.579 that I'm saying that, I did not intentionally 00:24:37.579 --> 00:24:40.819 go to Applebee's. I was driving and I get in 00:24:40.819 --> 00:24:42.339 the car and I do this. I have the same conversation 00:24:42.339 --> 00:24:44.519 with myself every day. I'm gonna go here and 00:24:44.519 --> 00:24:46.500 eat. Ah, no, I'm not gonna go here. I'm gonna 00:24:46.500 --> 00:24:50.900 go somewhere else and eat. I'm gonna go somewhere 00:24:50.900 --> 00:24:54.720 else and eat. But I heard in my spirit that I 00:24:54.720 --> 00:24:58.119 needed to go to Applebee's. James being messy 00:24:58.119 --> 00:25:00.240 y 'all that I needed to go to Applebee's and 00:25:00.240 --> 00:25:02.559 so I went there and I had the time of my life 00:25:02.559 --> 00:25:05.140 with someone I had never seen and never met before 00:25:05.140 --> 00:25:10.160 so I Said that to say there's still the you know 00:25:10.160 --> 00:25:18.259 the possibility of You have to tune in next week 00:25:18.259 --> 00:25:22.380 same time same channel to find out about About 00:25:22.380 --> 00:25:26.529 mr. E. That's what I'm gonna call him Mr. E Yeah, 00:25:26.730 --> 00:25:30.490 yeah, yeah. I ain't gonna have to tune in next 00:25:30.490 --> 00:25:33.950 week because I'll get a, I'm a call. Organic 00:25:33.950 --> 00:25:38.069 conversation, intelligence is a part of it. And 00:25:38.069 --> 00:25:41.849 I am, I have made myself available to date with 00:25:41.849 --> 00:25:44.309 intention in a minute that because I have an 00:25:44.309 --> 00:25:48.369 anxious attachment style, I'm trying to learn 00:25:48.369 --> 00:25:51.440 how to. be temperate with it, how to control 00:25:51.440 --> 00:25:54.759 it, and not need assurance. And that comes from 00:25:54.759 --> 00:25:59.240 what I experienced as a child. It makes me anxious 00:25:59.240 --> 00:26:02.619 because I look for my person to be consistent. 00:26:03.079 --> 00:26:05.700 And that's one of my deal breakers. So that's 00:26:05.700 --> 00:26:08.079 what I'll say about that. But I wanted to share, 00:26:08.299 --> 00:26:11.559 too, about organically meeting people, guys. 00:26:11.759 --> 00:26:14.589 Don't always shun people. This man was clean. 00:26:14.809 --> 00:26:17.069 He was dressed nice. He had all the same colors 00:26:17.069 --> 00:26:19.210 as me, didn't know him from Adam's house cat, 00:26:19.250 --> 00:26:22.049 but sat down and met somebody who is an awesome 00:26:22.049 --> 00:26:25.569 person. So you want to be able to communicate 00:26:25.569 --> 00:26:27.549 with people and not think that they have a motive, 00:26:27.670 --> 00:26:31.029 not be afraid, but be open. And the last thing 00:26:31.029 --> 00:26:34.069 that I will say tonight to each and every one 00:26:34.069 --> 00:26:36.990 of you, whether you are secure, whether you have 00:26:36.990 --> 00:26:40.859 a secure attachment style and anxious one. an 00:26:40.859 --> 00:26:45.160 avoided one, or a fearful or disorganized one, 00:26:45.640 --> 00:26:50.779 ensure that you pray and ask God to make you 00:26:50.779 --> 00:26:54.900 whole, deliver you from the thought process that 00:26:54.900 --> 00:26:57.859 causes you to have these types of attachment 00:26:57.859 --> 00:27:01.680 styles. You want to attach to only what God has 00:27:01.680 --> 00:27:04.640 prepared for you. And the last thing and I said 00:27:04.640 --> 00:27:06.259 that was the last thing which I know I'm a preacher. 00:27:06.460 --> 00:27:08.539 I'm a landed plane The last thing I want to say 00:27:08.539 --> 00:27:12.259 tonight is that what God has prepared for you 00:27:12.259 --> 00:27:15.480 It is for you and you've got to be okay with 00:27:15.480 --> 00:27:19.039 that But you've also got to be open to be hurt 00:27:19.039 --> 00:27:23.859 again in order to be loved correctly a Person 00:27:23.859 --> 00:27:28.180 and I heard dr. Gonzalez say this he said a person 00:27:28.180 --> 00:27:32.170 can speak your love language and still and I 00:27:32.170 --> 00:27:35.690 have the character to love you correctly. You 00:27:35.690 --> 00:27:39.569 be open, you be healed, you be whole, set free 00:27:39.569 --> 00:27:42.890 and delivered and what God has for you will be 00:27:42.890 --> 00:27:47.369 knocking at your door. God bless you. James, 00:27:47.569 --> 00:27:50.190 thank you for humoring me tonight. I'm gonna 00:27:50.190 --> 00:27:53.650 close this dating while anointed out and I'll 00:27:53.650 --> 00:27:57.690 see you guys on next week. Y 'all definitely 00:27:57.690 --> 00:28:00.630 tune in next week because I'm gonna find out 00:28:00.630 --> 00:28:04.480 here in a minute. what's going on. Yeah, yeah, 00:28:04.519 --> 00:28:06.720 yeah. She ain't leaving the studio until I find 00:28:06.720 --> 00:28:10.019 out what's really going down. But tune in next 00:28:10.019 --> 00:28:15.200 week, y 'all. Definitely learn your dating style 00:28:15.200 --> 00:28:21.079 and learn to date people that match your dating 00:28:21.079 --> 00:28:26.059 style. We love y 'all. Stay tuned. As we said 00:28:26.059 --> 00:28:29.960 earlier in the show, we got something we'll be 00:28:29.960 --> 00:28:34.210 playing. And dating while annoying it is one 00:28:34.210 --> 00:28:36.549 of the souls that's gonna be at the forefront 00:28:36.549 --> 00:28:42.130 of it But y 'all gotta stay tuned for more details 00:28:42.130 --> 00:28:47.410 about that cuz Y 'all it's gonna be big it's 00:28:47.410 --> 00:28:52.569 gonna be big But I'm definitely stay tuned and 00:28:52.569 --> 00:28:56.990 we love y 'all and we will see y 'all next week. 00:28:57.329 --> 00:29:06.240 Peace Hello, hello, hello. Thank you for watching 00:29:06.240 --> 00:29:09.339 another episode on James H. Glover Network. We 00:29:09.339 --> 00:29:12.859 appreciate you for all of your love, all of your 00:29:12.859 --> 00:29:17.880 support and all of your comments. Now what I 00:29:17.880 --> 00:29:21.819 need y 'all to do is like it says, like and subscribe. 00:29:22.440 --> 00:29:24.420 Also, I need y 'all to share and I need y 'all 00:29:24.420 --> 00:29:27.039 to tag and I need y 'all to turn on that notification 00:29:27.039 --> 00:29:31.039 bell over here on YouTube. I hope that lets YouTube 00:29:31.039 --> 00:29:34.599 know that you like content like this. On behalf 00:29:34.599 --> 00:29:37.400 of everyone here at the network, we appreciate 00:29:37.400 --> 00:29:40.880 you because we couldn't release content the way 00:29:40.880 --> 00:29:44.359 that we do without your support. So as I always 00:29:44.359 --> 00:29:46.500 say, sometimes our disappointment's nothing more 00:29:46.500 --> 00:29:48.799 than God's appointments meaning. Sometimes if 00:29:48.799 --> 00:29:51.380 we look at his bag, God is only telling it around 00:29:51.380 --> 00:29:53.920 for our good. Stay blessed, be blessed to be 00:29:53.920 --> 00:29:56.420 a blessing to someone else and I'll see y 'all 00:29:56.420 --> 00:29:58.259 on the next episode. Peace.