Hey guys, welcome to Closer to Christ through Conference. We're two friends who love Jesus
and His gospel, share our own approach to General Conference. Today we get to discuss
all things for our good, the talk that's been done by Elder Garrett W. Gong of the Quorum
of the Twelve Apostles, and I'm excited to dig into this one. Let's pretend like we're
playing really study. I've given you a chance to look over the talk. There were lots of
good things, and then I'm going to hit you with the question. Okay. Okay, we'll preface
it with saying, Prophet Joseph Smith has been incarcerated in Liberty Jail, and it was a
miserable experience. Have you ever been to Liberty Jail? I have. I mean, the replica,
but yeah, it was dark and dainty and like people were coming by to spectate and the
worst of conditions and the vilest of prison guards and he's there. We can picture this.
And then here are these words, these things shall give the experience and shall be for
thy good. Lived with faith, trials and sacrifices we would never choose can bless us in ways
that we would never have imagined. Can you hear the question there? What I want to ask
you is, where have you seen something work for your good that you otherwise wouldn't
have wanted that particular thing, but at the end of it or even in the middle of it,
you recognize that there was no other way to capture that growth. Right. It's funny
too that you say in the end of or in the middle of it, I think mine's always the end of. I
don't think there have been very many times where in the middle of it, I'm like, you know
what? And then even add one or two years sometimes. Right. Right. Whenever you stop to reflect
back on it. That's it. And look for the good pieces. Cause you could certainly write a
whole journal log on like this, the bad. Absolutely. Um, and I, again, I feel like we've said this
over and over now is that the gift is in the reflection, right? That's where the growth
comes. It's not necessarily in the things that are happening because you can have an
experience and it can go either way. You can get, like my dad has said before, you can
get bitter or better after a trial. That's such a good, better or better. I know he's
so cute. And you're thinking of that awesome dude that sings, you can be better. I'm not
going to sing, but yeah, there's a song. So when I'm thinking of specific things that
have happened over my life and there have been a bunch of them, um, we did talk about
in our last, um, podcast about my cancer treatments, how I really did with every single, and I'm
talking even the minute things that I did. I asked heavenly father to consecrate them,
like to touch them, consecrate them, make them for my good. And the harder and more
kind of demeaning it felt. Sometimes I didn't even feel like a person. I was picked and
prodded and I felt more like a cow than anything sometimes at, or like an animal. And I would
just in that moment would ask him to, to consecrate it for my good. Let's backtrack. Um, just
in case like people listen to these podcasts in whatever random order, um, is this true
that the idea of this came from neighbor Judy from the box. So maybe kind of pick up from
there. So we kept that. So, um, diagnosed with cancer, my fantastic neighbor, Judy,
who is on the other side of the veil now brought me a book and it was, um, love. I think it
was love, love medicine and miracles written by a doctor who was an oncologist and, um,
an oncology surgeon. And he just had this whole program program. You could say he looked
at a bunch of different patients and he essentially saw that the people who had an outlook and
saw every treatment that they were given as healing rather than as poison were the ones
who fared much better. And so like even down to the window that was like, if they had a
room that had a window where they could look outside and see sky rather than being in an
inside room where all the heads look like prisons, you know, yeah. And down to the music
that he played Liberty jail. Exactly. Kind of remind me of president Nelson when he talks
about his, um, operating room, very similar to that in that, like he would not allow them
to just talk about the weekend or about their plans or sports or anything. It was very much
focused, directed, and very deliberate. So he taught all of his patients who were interested,
you know, they weren't interested. He didn't do it, but he had this kind of like support
group where they all got together and he taught them how to be what he called, um, what was
exceptional patients. So I was like, sweet, I'm going to be an exceptional patient. So
I just took that. Now my treatment didn't look like anyone else's. And I think that's
part of how cancer is. I feel like no one's treatment looks the same. You know, you do
different things for your own situation, for your own everything. So it looks different.
I did all these different things that I hadn't even heard people do before, but again, every
single one of them, I asked the Lord to consecrate that. So I saw that as my healing. Like I
would imagine each treatment I did as like sunshine coming down from heaven and going
into all my cells.
I've seen it a few different ways with cancer. Like if somebody gets a pretty bad diagnosis
and they're, they're given these like artificial timelines, like you've got two months to live
and they let that be the message that resonates. They, they'll die like four weeks later. Whereas,
you know, another person might get that information and they'll say, we'll live with what time
we have left. And then the two months turns into like a nice year of good, positive or
longer. I'm not like trying to put a timeline on somebody's life, but I've seen the power
in, I've seen the power in being a good patient. Yeah. Even if what you're going through is
not easy, if you have the resolve that you'll try to live. Absolutely. It needs to make
a difference.
Also with mine, you know, I will say this because absolutely with every, with any sickness
anyone has with any trial, it also needs like the ultimate healing timeline is always up
to the Lord. You know what I mean? And so when I actually, it was the spirit that set
in my mind, Amy, you have cancer in your foot and you'll be healed. And I was kind of, I
was putting my shoe on one day and it's kind of like saw this one spot, tiny little spot
on my foot. And I was like, that's weird. And, but this is the thing. If you, if I heard
this information from any other source, I would be struck with anxiety or fear or worry.
And it was just as peaceful as it could be. Just like laying out the facts, like, Oh,
I have cancer and I'm going to be healed. Excuse me. And I literally called my doctor
made an appointment and they even looked at it. And a few times they're like, no, you
look fine. I'm like, can we just biopsy it? It really looks good. You said you've had
that spot since you were a kid. I'm like, I have. And I said, can we just biopsy? You
know, you're really good. The third time I was like, let's just do it. I would just feel
better if I did. And boom, boom, boom, you know, it's melanoma. So it was needed. But
my whole point is I could live with, I feel like a lot more faith and be a lot more bold
because I had absolute knowledge that I was going to heal and that I would be healed by
the end of it. So I do understand that some people's journey is not to be healed in this
lifetime. So it might look different, but I knew I was going to be. So I took every,
like, I claimed that blessing, grabbed that and ran with it and just held onto that the
entire time. That's a lot more certain blessing than to hear and everything will be okay.
It's true. We know what everything will be okay really means. Absolutely. Question mark.
So I'm really glad that you mentioned that about the cancer treatments, because it's
likely that a lot of our audience will have had an experience with family member or the
MSL or go through or will. And so to have that in your arsenal as you prepare for that,
you can decide, and it doesn't even have to be cancer. Like you said, it could be such
such a spectrum of different ailments that come to these, you know, bodies that are prone
to decay. So that was a good bit of information. Anything else less depressing than cancer?
For sure. So I've talked before about our farm animals and you know, just with the number
of farm animals we have now about 40, the instance of having, you know, injury or something
happen goes up dramatically. There's always something that happens. Literally, Gar and
I were in bed about to fall asleep at like 1135 Sunday night. We get a call from the
cops. Your dogs are running down the highway there so and so. And that happens all the
time to us. Like the week before I was making dinner and had to drop everything and go.
And so sometimes like if I if I get in the weeds of things, Abby, I'm just like, are
we even making a difference here? Like what is this all for? But I really do still believe
I have to go back from the very beginning when we had the piece about the farm animals
and we had what Gar and I both got was the feeling of it will be a blessing to your family.
And we've mentioned, I know that you've mentioned it in another podcast, but on the off chance
that somebody didn't catch that, what's the blessing that you noticed?
The biggest one is that yeah, Adam now has confidence and wants to be a vet. Is that
what you're saying? Or you talk? Yeah, yeah. Like we talked about the responsibility and
the responsibility that your children were gaining from the experience. So regardless
of he really was going to be a vet. Exactly. I saw that. I've seen that with my own eyes.
The maturity, the level of maturity, the responsibility they've taken on with the animals is definitely
noticeable. But then to know like life career possible as a possible option. Yeah, that's
super. That's that's a great blessing that you've recognized from that. And I'll say
a blessing for me is I just pulled into Amy's to do this recording and there were six like
goats. How big were they like? Tiny babies. And they're just hopping along there on the
outside of the fence from where their mom is. So I called her because I could like block
with my car, like if I were, I'm like, are these cute little things supposed to be out?
Like, yep, they they know what they're doing. So they go out, they eat, they come back and
be with mama. It's hilarious. It's the cutest thing. Like I like a stuffed animal size.
Yes. Like I might take one. There might just be five when you get back out there. So you
only have 39. 39. So this is the other thing. Literally, you know, one of my love languages
is I love decorating for the holidays. I love setting a table for family. That's something
that brings me a lot of joy. I just love it. And I was doing that. I was so happy as listening
to music and it was Memorial Day. Literally, right as I put the potatoes in, oh no, it
was the corn boiling the corn, the cob. I get a call and Bailey's like, my daughter,
um, mom, I think Charles, our baby lamb is dead. And I was like, oh gosh, will you please
FaceTime me? My heart sinks and um, I see on there and he's not moving. He's got blood
all over his haunches and everything. And anyways, it all ended up like that. That day I just
felt so defeated. He had a real injury and we, you know, had to treat it and do all that
stuff, come inside and um, wash myself up and everything. And then we had our dinner,
you know, we were, and I was kind of able to switch shift gears, you know, but that
night I just said to Garrett, all right, we've had two weeks of almost constant things that
have happened with these baby lambs or the animals getting out or a baby falling into
the, into the pond. That day we did the last recording and I was like, I just feel defeated
today. Like I don't have anything else in me. I just have to feel this feeling. So what
I told him is I said, okay, I'm just going to feel defeat in my body. Just, you know,
feel it through. And then I said, and then I'm going to have, I'm going to ask you for
a priesthood blessing. I'm going to go to sleep and we're going to see what tomorrow
brings. And I really did feel much better the next day. Kind of worked through that.
But again, came back to step one, actually in the blessing that I got, I was so happy.
Um, and it just said that heavenly father was just grateful for me as a daughter who
when I'm given a new task, I just jump right in and try to figure it out. I'm like, yeah,
I do do that. I try to figure it out. I'm not saying I figured anything out, but I try.
I give an effort and I, you know, go a hundred miles in that direction, meaning like I don't
hold back a hundred percent in that direction. So again, you could take all of these things
as just anecdotal or by themselves and say, like my son did the other night, mom, you
wasted your money on that fence. Mom, like, why are you doing this? Cause he's very logical.
And I just have to keep thinking all of these things are working together for our good.
I truly believe that in my core. And so that's what keeps me going.
It grounds you and it, every time, every time that you guys make a new decision to bring
another animal on, I don't really feel like you know what the out and outcome is or what
I agree purpose is, but you're creating something here that seems pretty special.
I agree with you. That's how it feels. I don't know why I just know that it's something that
is good.
Switch gears. Okay. There was a piece in the talk and it said this within our stakes and
wards, many faithful families and individuals confront difficult challenges, even while
knowing that without yet knowing how things will work together for our good. When trials
come often, what we most want is for someone to listen and be with us in the moment. Cliche
answers may be unhelpful, however comforting their intent sometimes be yearn for someone
who will grieve, ache and weep with us. Let us express pain, frustration, sometimes even
anger. I heard that in your last comment. So I'm like, we've got to come to this part.
All emotions are good.
They are.
And giving them at your body a chance to either process if you're ready or shelf them if you're
not quite ready to process them. But at some point all these things will need to happen.
Let us express pain, frustration, sometimes even anger and acknowledge with us there are
things we do not know.
Absolutely.
And I have a question I was thinking of off of that. What have you learned about mourning
and grieving with others that you so when the trial isn't necessarily your own, you
see it happening for somebody else. What can you share? Is that putting you on the spot?
I feel like I have been the one that maybe gave the cliche or jumped right to the silver
lining in my past.
Let's fix this by doing this.
Right. Because it feels more comfortable in my body to have a silver lining rather than
a, oh, no, what are we going to do type of a thing, which I know, no, what are we going
to do is very normal. It's fine to work through that. Right. Like it's, it's natural and healthy.
When Garrett, the week that we had all those things happen, we fell off a cliff with our
family. Garrett had a serious
in a vehicle.
Yeah. In a vehicle with a couple of their kids.
No, our Christmas present. Garrett fell and got a horrible, what is the word? I can't
think of it.
Aneurysm? Concussion.
Concussion. And then when we went in, saw that he had an aneurysm.
And then
Like when I listen back to podcasts and like you're thinking of a word and I'm like, not
charades, but it's like concussion.
Yes. Thank you, Abby. And then just a little bit later after that, we both got a job and
moved states. It was a lot to handle in a little bit of time. And I just have to tell
you that after all of this happened, it was during the Christmas and I kind of watched
everyone like, it was like my life was going in slow motion and all the music was gone
out of my life. And I was just kind of watching other people live their life. And I remember
being on Instagram and people were commenting on like, you know, just saying the things
that that came to their mind and
like offering condolences for the hard things you were going through.
And it was the which ones resonated, which one I don't remember, but it was the very
first time in my life that I was like, Oh my gosh, I have been the person that did not
understand the depth of suffering and sorrow. I didn't know what to say. And I was also
one of the people that because I didn't know what to say, Abby, I wouldn't even bring it
up, which I promise you, if someone's experienced a death, if someone has experienced something
that is life altering, you better believe they're already thinking about it. And bringing
it up isn't going to like ruin their day. It's going to help ease the burden because
they'll have someone to talk about just like, how are you doing? I haven't seen you since
XYZ happened. And I really want to just give you a hug in person or whatever it is. Right?
I used to be the person that didn't want to bring it up because I'm like, it might shatter
them. They're already shattered. You know what I mean? So that's, that's something that
I learned that I really strive to. I know that each one of us can fall back into it
where we just forget the depth of people, people's sorrow. And so just to remember,
maybe just have a quick prayer before we comment and just like, I haven't had this experience
help me to know what to say.
Do you feel like the answer comes from the loved one that's just recently passed, like
when you have the right words to say?
Absolutely. Through the spirit, that could absolutely be it. And that's why we seek the
spirit because whatever the Holy Ghost wants to share with us, whether it's, you know,
angels speak by the power of the Holy Ghost, right? Whether it's through one of them or
him himself, whatever it is, we will know what it is and it will touch our heart.
And I'll just reiterate, because what I felt like you said, what I'm taking home with me
is like, you like take one quick breath. Don't jump to the answer that your like natural
mind would be inclined to want to say. And a quick prayer in your heart that you say,
that the words that I speak be heard properly. Like I'm not trying to fix the pain that you're
going through, but I am here to mourn with you. I haven't experienced the situation you
are with all the facets of it. You know, you might lose your mom, but you know, your dog
might have died the same day and you might be in a breakup. Like, no, nobody's, you're
probably not going to be the person that has those three things also going on in your life
in that minute. But this, the spirit could probably help you with the right thing or
emotion or the hug. Sometimes like you just don't say anything. Yeah. And I learned that
lesson. We lost a family member and when people would come to the line, they'd say, how are
you doing? Which is very natural to say. But it's like, if you say I'm doing well, then
they'll be like psychopath. Or if you're like, I'm doing terrible, they're like, she needs
to get her stuff together. You know, I'm just like that. Right. So you, so I have since that
time, I can't even remember how many years, let's just say like 18 ish, 20 maybe since
that time, I feel like I've had the blessing of because of, because of the loss, you know,
the loss that my family suffered. I can, I can not, I'm not saying I say the right thing
all the time at funeral situations, but I don't ask people how they're doing. I look at them,
say, like, like I'll see, like you can vibe if they, they're like seem like huggers or
like handshakers or whatever. Right. Sometimes you just, you're just there emotionally for
them. Or sometimes just seeing your face means everything. Right. So sometimes it's just
your presence. Sometimes it's absolutely saying nothing. Um, greenhouse season, my sister
had a very close friend and her mom had been deteriorating for years and years. And so
Mother's Day weekend, she makes a quick trip down to Logan and doesn't even try to like
talk to Camille, but like not, that wasn't her intent. She wasn't going to be like, been
through this and this is super hard, you know, but she made the quick trip down there and
then she sent you a text a day or two after and she's like, you know, your presence meant
so much to me and like your friendship and the gist of it being like, I recognize with
the greenhouse and being Mother's Day weekend, that was probably a sacrifice for everybody.
So Amanda shared it with me to say like, it was nice that things were covered there and
she didn't have to worry about it, but that's what's coming to my mind that it's like sometimes
just being there for somebody not having the right words to say or the spirit might impress
with you. It's not about the words. It's that you're there to mourn with somebody that mourns
and comforts somebody that needs that. So I will tell, I will say, I think we're going
to wrap this up just, um, just because I feel like we kind of hit the high mark that we
were trying to keep for you guys, but there was one more question that came, that kind
of popped out in this passing and maybe I'll just encourage it as the action item for this
talk. Ask yourself the question, what story in the Book of Mormon gives you a firm testimony
that what happened in their time can be a blessing for you here now?
Love it. So like, how is it a living scripture? How it was as applicable then?
Right from the very first chapter, like it's family interaction, it's some contention,
family, or it's disruption in our lives, the life we're living. We have to pack up, we
have to go to this unknown and we only know what the next step is in front of us. We don't
know that we're going to wander through the wilderness for time, get sent back, wander,
get sent back, wander, make a ship, never had a ship like this, cross the ocean. I mean,
there's just so many things that were trials along the way, but so many blessings and we
can see the refinement that happened. But that's just one, like, that's not to steer
your thought, like don't take that one if that's not what you're thinking of.
It was just one of the elders.
Right now this year, and come follow me, we're in the Book of Mormon and I'm hoping that
you're seeing yourself in these scriptures and that you're learning from lessons that
other people had to go through in a way that you can see at the end of that story, like
you have the beginning to end, you have hundreds of years forward and back from it, but you
can say, oh, I can see why, you know, that was put in their path. What did God do with
these people to make all of those things work for their good?
Right.
Final thoughts?
It was just such a great talk. I loved it and I love that he said from first Nephi 1
to Moroni 10, he's like, we can see ourselves in the Book of Mormon. And I love that.
We can if we look.
Read your scriptures.
We'll see you next time.
Talk to you later, guys.
Thank you.