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Welcome to closer to Christ through conference.

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We're two friends who love Jesus and his gospel sharing our own approach to conference.

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So today we're going to do a dive into Jeffrey R. Holland's talk, Motions of a Hidden Fire.

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Okay, so the part that I loved about it, it was interesting because I read through the

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entire talk and my prayer was, help me to know what is the best part for me to talk

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about.

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And so that just means who knows what that means.

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Does it mean for anyone who's listening?

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Does it mean in my own process?

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But whatever it was, it truly did jump out and it was awesome because it like there wasn't

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even a question.

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I read it.

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It was like being I copied it was just a very fluid motion and I love that.

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So this is what stuck out to me.

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When we don't know how or exactly what to pray, we should begin and continue until the

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Holy Spirit guides us into the prayer we should be offering.

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I loved this part of what he said and actually the entire talk, I mean, how can you not love

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it, right?

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Loved every bit of it.

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Especially after not hearing from him for a couple of conferences.

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Yeah, I know we missed him.

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We missed him.

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So then my question was, you know, how can my prayers be guided by the Holy Spirit?

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And truly there have been times when I just did, you know, kind of the basic prayers,

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you know, I think every person evolves in their prayers and in their relationship with

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Heavenly Father, the way they talk to him, the way they understand and receive answers

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from him.

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And I did have a priesthood blessing at one time that said that my said something to the

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effect that I would talk to Heavenly Father for hours.

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And I just thought to myself, number one, where am I going to find the time?

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Number two, it's kind of hard for me to even keep my train of thought sometimes, you know,

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like I might fall asleep while I'm praying or whatever it was at the time.

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And so I just thought, huh, that's interesting.

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So I shelved it, you know, went on with my life.

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Well now, I think it was like it was last year, last January, I was prayer journaling.

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And that's something for me, my attention span, I mean, my thoughts can go all over

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the place, right?

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So prayer journaling for me is when I write down on a piece of paper, some people type

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it, I write it, dear Heavenly Father, and then I just start talking to him.

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But I'm writing it down.

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And so for me, it's very effective in keeping my focus on him.

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I remember what I'm doing and I can keep my train of thought.

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So that's just for me.

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But I started doing that and I was truly going through, I had lots and lots of questions.

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It was like a string of questions.

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And once one was answered, it was like, okay, then I need this.

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Okay, thank you.

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Then I need this.

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And it just kept went on and on and on.

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And I remember I had a temple appointment at like 11 o'clock, maybe it's one o'clock

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that afternoon.

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And I somehow the time just passed so quickly.

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And I all of a sudden everything stopped.

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And it was like, you better get ready for the temple as a kind of a thought that I heard.

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And I was like, okay, I mean, I guess I could do it that early.

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Looked at my clock.

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And I was like time to throw a dress on brush my teeth at the door.

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So I was like, Oh my gosh, that actually is true even for someone like me, who I never

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would have seen that happen.

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Right.

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And I love prayer journaling, that's something that I love to do.

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I don't do it every time I pray.

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But when I have very specific questions, they need to formulate, I need to write down and

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I really would like to record the impressions that I hear or feel Heavenly Father speaking

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to me.

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I love those because I can always go back and revisit them.

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And it kind of is like it feels like a personal scripture to me in that they're just very,

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you know, mundane everyday things.

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But to me, they mean everything, because it's the direction I get from Heavenly Father.

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I'm going to interject here because you taught me about prayer journaling.

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And I remember at the time when you were talking about I remember a couple of friends, like

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they really grasp on that.

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And that was like something they were wanting to do, needing to do.

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I'm like, I don't really, there's nothing like that pressing in my life that I felt

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like a need for it.

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But I shelved it at that time.

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And then like fast forward some time and there was that talk, President Nelson, he asked

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us to like forgive somebody that we'd like been holding on to something before.

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So something had happened in my life and I was like, it was like kind of stalling me.

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I was like, I want to forgive them.

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I'm like, I don't even know like what words to say.

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Like I don't need to have them like have this communication back.

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But it was like that whole experience.

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And so I put that to per journal because I knew I was going to meet with a stake president

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and kind of like put my emotions out there.

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But I'm like, I don't even know what I'm going to say to him.

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And so I opened it up.

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I was like in preparation for that.

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What do I want to say?

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What do I want the end outcome to be?

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Not maybe a resolve of the situation that had happened, but like for me to feel that

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peace and be able to shut the door on this thing that had happened.

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And so I opened that as a prayer journal thing.

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And then I was able to kind of say, you know, at the end of that prayer that it was like,

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and that this forgiveness would, I'd feel that in my heart for the situation.

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I was like, that was the coolest experience because if I just were to sit down on my knees

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and pray about that, I'm not sure how long I would have sat there or what I would have

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thought.

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But to think of, I don't know, like writing an English paper that was a prayer.

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It was a unique thing because that's just not what prayer has been for me in the past.

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And like I said, it's not like an everyday thing in your life opening this prayer.

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But when there's stuff that's really having your mind and your thoughts are kind of jumbled,

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for me, it was a really good way to say, what am I thinking?

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What am I trying to process?

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What the resolve that I'm looking for?

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And also when the answers come, you kind of finish out that per journal with the response

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to the prayer in that moment.

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And then you've got that like documenting like, I was really going through this hard

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time.

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This was what was on my mind and this is what the Spirit impressed me to do.

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So there's so much place for it.

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So I'm hoping like for a listener that's like, that is weird or strange.

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I've never heard of that before.

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That if it might feel like, oh, that's how you pray all day and all night.

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You open a prayer, but you don't really close it as you're waiting for those little pieces

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of information to come and kind of trickle down on you.

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And then have it to reflect on later when you're like, does he really answer my prayers?

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And then you kind of have, oh, look at this prayer that I asked and this is how he answered

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it.

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There's multiple benefits to it.

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So if it feels good now, great, use it.

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And if it seems kind of strange to you now, put it on a shelf.

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That's one of those things.

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And maybe at some point in your life, it's just the thing that you're going to need.

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Yes.

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And it's funny.

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Because you brought that up.

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I have a friend who she drives her kids back and forth.

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It seems like all day, you know, for different things.

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And she was like, Amy, that's not the way prayer journaling to sit, actually sit down,

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pick up a pen and start writing.

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She's like, that's, I don't have time for that.

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It sounds like the worst thing ever.

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And she said, I was kind of mourning that fact.

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And I was driving one of my kids to his, you know, his bike, whatever he had some lessons.

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And she said, I just felt heavenly father say, Kirsten, I know where to find you.

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You don't have to be writing down.

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That's not the way your brain works.

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And I loved it because she had a different way to do it.

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And she heavenly father knew where to find her.

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So really, it is it's just if you want clarity, if writing is your thing, that's great.

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Other times, I'll open up my phone and I'll just do a voice memo.

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Like if I'm driving, let's say back from the temple or wherever, and I need to clarify

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my thoughts in that way, I record it in that way.

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So just if you're a verbal processor, if you whatever way you process, get to know yourself,

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because heavenly father will speak to you in that way.

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Well, who doesn't feel like a chauffeur sometimes, but you know, you're using that time with

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your kid in the car where you're getting him to the event.

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But sometimes you have 15 or 20 minute wait in between and the car is pretty quiet and

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the silent you found your found a quiet place in that carpool situation.

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Truly.

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And the Lord will find you there.

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Yes.

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So it was interesting because when I did read this, I'll just share this little bit and

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then I would love to hear some things that you have to say, Abby.

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It was interesting because I had just this was back in March.

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I had just finished giving a guided visual visualization for a really large group.

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And I literally had gotten back into the car, picked up my phone, kind of looked at, you

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know, the messages that I'd missed while I was in that engagement.

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And I see a text from my sister in law.

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And she just said, Your name came to me.

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Please pray for me right now.

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My dad's in the hospital.

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And he's in a coma.

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And I was just like, Oh my gosh.

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And so think of it like my mind had to switch gears really quick.

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And it felt like a very heavy, no, I shouldn't say heavy.

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It felt like a prayer that deserved respect and time and my best.

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So I wasn't really sure what to pray.

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Just like Elder Holland said.

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And so I just started.

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And what I did again, you already know why I do this is because it helps to clarify my

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thoughts and to guide me.

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But I started just texting in my phone.

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I pray Heavenly Fathers that angels will attend my sister in law and her dad.

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I pray that his family who have passed will attend the doctors and assistants and physicians.

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You can tell I'm still just, I don't really know where I'm going, but I'm asking for all

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the things who have charge over his care that heaven's best will assist heaven's, sorry,

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let me say that again, that heaven's best will assist earth's best in his care, that

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he will hear and feel that he's still here on earth.

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And then this is a part where you can tell that I connected with the Holy Ghost and my,

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he started directing the prayer because you can tell it changes that he remember this

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is her dad who was in a coma, that he will make the decision for what is best for his

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earthly body to stay or to finish up his earthly ministry and begin a heavenly ministry.

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So essentially it was saying, you know, of course we enact agency and he gets to choose.

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And then at the last one was we are so grateful for a heart that gave and gave and gave.

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He's touched so many lives with his quiet service, always with a smile.

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And you can kind of see it went into past tense.

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He did end up passing away that night.

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And my first thought was, Oh no, she asked, she reached out and asked me to help pray

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for her.

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And of course that means that her dad will live, right?

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That's what we always want.

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As I felt it take a turn, I was like, Oh no, I hope she doesn't feel like this was my will

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and it just felt like your prayer became an intertwined knowledge of what his will was

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for then you could kind of prepare because you're still here on this earthly life.

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You're such good friends with the sister-in-law and you can then be there to help her with

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whatever needs she has.

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And that's exactly what has happened.

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Yes.

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And it adds as much pain and sadness and grief and loss as it was and shock that he was gone

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so quickly.

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There have been so many blessings of him being on the other side, like a list of them.

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And who would have ever known that the heavenly father, you know what I mean?

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So that was just something that was very interesting and definitely the Holy Ghost guided and directed

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that because I had no idea what was going to happen.

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Absolutely.

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When you don't know, start somewhere.

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Yep.

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Which was the point.

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I think I'm going to jump off with that.

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You said so many things that just resonated with me when you said you opened a prayer

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to say like, what should I bring up?

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What should I talk about in the podcast?

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What I wanted to say about that was that with 100% certainty when I opened that prayer,

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I knew I've already listened to Elder Holland's talk for myself.

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I got those spiritual impressions.

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I wrote those down.

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So that was my initial thing.

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I am going to look at this talk multiple times later, but when I looked at the talk this

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most recent time, it was definitely with the intention of this audience that I have no

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idea who it is.

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I don't know their faces and I don't know what they look like, but I said, heavenly

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father, what message is pertinent to bring up?

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So yes, it is for me in the way that I was like, oh, this is good.

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This is good.

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This is something that I want to focus on.

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But I do think somebody's ears are meant to hear this.

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That wasn't necessarily for me.

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Just like when I prepare a primary lesson, I'm like, here's the information.

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I'm digesting this information and then what the kids want to run with.

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That's what we're going to run with.

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So just making the point that when I bring stuff up in this podcast, it's because the

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prayer has been for the audience members, not necessarily what I need to get out of

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it.

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So what stood out to me in this passing was, I mean, there's a million things.

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We really, really could talk about any paragraph and go in any different tangent.

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We could talk about his experience on the edge of eternities.

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I could be a whole really sighted listener or discussion with friends, but that's not

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where my mind went.

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My mind went to him talking about his beloved wife passing and the emotion that was tied

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to that.

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You can just feel the deep love that he gained for her over there, what he said, 60 years

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of marriage.

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He said that she wrote a talk once and it was entitled, Fulfilling the Measure of Your

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Creation.

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So of course, that's what I want to talk about.

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Fulfilling the Measure of Your Creation.

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He said of her, it seems to me that she fulfilled the measure of her creation more successfully

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than anyone could have ever dreamed possible.

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She was a complete daughter of God, an exemplary woman of Christ.

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And I thought that is the most tender words to associate to his wife.

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I wouldn't say that I know Pat that well.

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I've seen her in snippets of different things, but just the support and love she gave her

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husband and I know that he couldn't be who he is without her.

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And so I just say, okay, how much I love Elder Holland?

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I'm confident that I would have loved Pat that much.

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So what I wanted to talk about was what we sometimes do with ourselves.

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We look at somebody like Pat Holland and we say, man, she is amazing and she's perfect

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and she's an exemplary daughter of God.

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And we look at who she became over years and with life experience.

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Her current self.

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Yeah, that really developed physical and spiritual person.

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And we think that we have to be there so immediately.

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That's her age, right?

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Right.

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Her age against, not against, but versus or we just compare that.

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Exactly.

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And I think it's a very apt summary of her.

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I think it describes her perfectly in every way, but I just want the listener to look

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at the process of refinement that happens over so many years when it relates to that

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word filling the measure of your creation.

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We're spiritual beings long before we came to earth.

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We have the snippet here and then we still have a lot of life, eternities that we still

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grow and develop.

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And so I think it's wise advice to periodically check in with Heavenly Father and say, am

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I filling the measure of my creation?

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Because he knows our capacity probably better than us.

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And if we ask the question, then he can say like, hey, you're ready for a little bit more.

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You ask the question, daughter, like, let me give you a little bit more.

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And then you do that thing and you fill that measure of your creation and then you do a

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little bit more.

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I think sometimes we know what the end goal is.

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We know what the end goal is.

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And so we just kind of want to race through that process and get there so quickly.

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Quickly going to say, Amy mentioned doing a meditation.

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There's some different things that she does, but like we'll do like a yoga class.

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And she one time had us in this garden that we created for ourselves and we're sitting

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on a bench and we're expecting this guest to arrive.

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And we are just, we just know this emotion.

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We are so excited to have that guest be joining us.

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Well, lo and behold, it's yourself five years from now that you're so excited to see.

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And you have this conversation and you share these things and it's like, you're just the

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best of friends because it's you.

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And I know it's such a strange thing, but I'm like, I was so emotional about it because

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I think I was in a growth, like kind of a growth period right then and knew what I wanted

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to be, but knew I wasn't where I wanted to be.

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And you just kind of fast forwarded me forward like five years and I saw that person and

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I thought, I am so excited.

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I'm so excited about this person.

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And I'm like, I'm going to say that's probably been a few years.

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Like I'm, I'm only like two years away from being that person that I'm excited to see

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five years from.

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So the periodic check in, like what I, what I wanted to suggest was when you hear

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that make sure to ask yourself a few questions.

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Are you comparing yourself to someone's absolute best when you're, when you're trying to make

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it the judgment or if you're filling the major recreation, can you give yourself the grace

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that you need to grow into the major recreation?

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Can you give yourself the time and the patience and allow opportunities and experiences to

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happen in your life that are going to grow you into that person that you eventually want

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to become?

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And then just ask yourself, what can I do today that might be bring bright, bring me

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a little closer to Jesus Christ than I was yesterday?

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I love that.

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So just to point, I'm kind of pointing this out because it's something I've done myself.

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I'm looking at somebody's best and think, I'm never going to be that good.

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That is not the way that the Savior ever intended us to become like him.

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Look at him as the example.

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Look at like associate yourself with others around you that are going to help you to want

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to be that changed person, but then give yourself that time and allow those experiences to happen,

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you know, through series of years, through a series of calling through whatever you're

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doing raising your children or with your relationship with your spouse or whatever.

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There's a million and one things.

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And so of course it would be easy to say of Pat Holland that she certainly filled the

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major recreation.

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I could say that about her, but I think I could say that about each of you as a listener.

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Give yourself the grace to know that as long as you're in the process of trying to fill

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the major creation, even if you're not there in that moment, that it's definitely going

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to come and that you are actively engaged in that process.

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That's all we're asked to do in this life.

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I love that.

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100%.

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Those are two snippets, guys.

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I'm hoping that you did read through the talk or that you're like, Oh, I need to go back

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to that talk and see, you know, what's there for me.

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And you might be like, why, why did they pick those two things of all things?

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Well, because we're two people.

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Yeah, we're two people looking at a conference talk, but there could be so many more things

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that you could delve into again, like with yourself, you could, you could say what stood

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out to you and you know, relook at it or, you know, some friends, you could say, Hey,

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this stood out to me.

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What stood out to you?

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So don't let this be the last bit that you've taken a look at elder Holland's words.

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There's so much more to be gathered there.

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If we wanted to talk for an hour, we could keep talking about the talks, but we're going

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to wrap it up because I think we're, we're about there at the 15 minute mark, but we

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hope that you maybe saw some things in the talk that you hadn't really saw, saw before

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and that it sparks you to kind of look at the way that you're praying a little bit differently

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and say, can I add that to my, can I add that to my list of ways to pray when I really need

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to communicate this message, need to get something across.

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And then as far as filling the measure of your creation, that you're excited of where

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you're at, but if that you can see room for growth, that's, that's an action step that

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you designed that's going to help fill that little last major.

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And then just know some years are going to pass.

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If you ask the question again, you have capacity for more.

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It's filling the measure of your creation, you know, five years from now is going to

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look different than what it looked like to be full five years ago.

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Absolutely.

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Absolutely.

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And that's the whole plan, right?

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Right.

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Line up online.

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Thanks for joining us.

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We'll see you next time.

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Streets.

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Thank you.