No, I think Ben's the common denominator. But
anyways, this is Frickin' Nerds. Nerds. A D &D
podcast where six friends play dozens of dragons.
I am Will or Will I am, I don't fucking know.
But what I do know is I play the lucky druid
cleric Lazagnamaskind. And fun false fact for
Yalharis. I know I usually go with like puns,
but this is actually a little cute one. Yalharis
actually has like a... tiny little red dragon
as a pet. You could probably think of a name
for it that would be better than me, but I just
want to say he has a little tiny red dragon.
I would name him Shamrock. Shamrock? I think
that would be good for a red dragon. He's always
wanted a green dragon. Dragon Deez. He's colorblind
the whole time. He's like, check out this blue
dragon I have. I will name you Green Four -Leaf
Clover. That would actually be awesome as a concept
for a character. It's like, you're a colorblind
ranger that can't see green. Yikes. Guys, I have
this rare green dragon that spits fire. Are you
a good dragon or a bad dragon? I'm having a hard
time with colors right now. That means terrifying.
You could do a reverse night vision instead of
seeing in black and white. That's the only time
you can see color. The sun goes down in here.
Brian, I can't see color. Going dark. Hello,
apparently I'm a pair of night vision goggles
and tonight I'll be playing the now level 10
ranger, Yoharis. And I'm also on a ladder and
still miss him or for him. But will I change?
Who knows? Sometimes. Don't change for anyone.
No, never change for anyone. He's got a summer
bod. He's got that summer bod. Never going away.
Continuous summer bod. But a fun false fact about
our dear old friend, Nix. is that I feel like
before I've talked about you tap dancing and
break dancing. Now I feel like you only do your
pull -ups one -handed and then you complain about
how hard it is and that there has to be a better
way, but you just can't figure it out. I mean,
the other hand's occupied with stuff. There's
a mirror in front of me. No, he's holding the
mirror in front of him. You won't be able to
believe how much he can isolate the different
hands. Pat your head and rub your stomach at
the same time. Something like that. I'm Jalen,
playing Nyx, the barbarian fighter. A false fact
about Franklin is him and Frankie were originally
quintuplets. But Frankie and Franklin individually
ate one sibling. And at the end, when there was
three of them left, they split the other sibling
in half and had them each. And then there was
just Franklin and Frankie. And then there was
Franken. Yeah, they merged into one being. They're
saying if Franklin dies, his father, Frankenstein,
is going to rock out. He's a bad boy. All I can
think of now is, no, you're thinking of Frankenstein's
son. Oh, no, no, he's a doctor. Hi, I'm Ben.
I'm playing Franklin, the half -elf wizard here
in service of only the greater good. And morals
everywhere. Perspective. Yeah, I'm here to provide
perspective. Thank you. He provides guidance
in his own unique way. Apparently the leader.
You voted for him. I had to. If everybody acknowledges
me as the leader, at what point do we stop pretending
like anybody else is in charge of this? You just
got here. Yeah, that's the biggest issue. You
just got here. You mean we have no leader up
until this point? I think my leadership motto
can be summed up in one point, which is get good
or get not. And it's G -E -T -G. Oh, you better
believe it. And a fun false fact about Harun
is that he's not a Warforged. Very similar in
vein to Yaharis' false fact last time, where
he was just a guy with elf ears on. Harun is,
in fact, just a guy with a suit. I think... I
was going to say... Licensed characters, but
Steel Woman, but other... But anyway, yeah, no,
he's just like a dude. He's like some sort of
maimment of one. Yeah, just like a... That's
crazy for when he's gone underwater extended
periods of time. Yeah, no. It's a voice he does,
and all the noises of, like, when he moves his
limbs, like... That's just his mouth noises making
it. How does wild shape work? Oh, I was going
to say, it's more of a fun man, right? Huh? Is
that a chemistry joke? Yeah. No, you got it.
I knew what you meant. I knew what you meant.
Fee man. Fee man. Fucking nerd. Fee man. Servant
of the universe. Yes. That is indeed a false
fact. I don't think you keep it together like
he does. Skirmish key. Go. Hi. I am Mark, and
I play Rune when Warforged Monk, a feeling baby,
emoting and feeling things. And my false fact
about Lazogna is that they have fucked in wild
shape. What was that false? Is that false? No,
you're going to defend it? Is that false? No,
I was going to say, I feel like every druid has.
Yo. I think that's the first thing. That's the
first thing you try to figure out what the fuck
this is. yo which one's better hey i just want
to know if it was another druid or the only way
to master those animal is to go through it no
i know where you're going if you're a druid and
you can you speak with animals and you can turn
into an animal is it really bestiality or is
it not like on the same level see but then you
retain your mind what is the baby what He's a
rapper, but he's not that great. Yeah. No, but
I'm saying, like, you know, if you do it in wild
shape and that you get somebody pregnant. And
you bust a nut, yeah. Oh, what is the baby? What
is the baby? A centaur version. Wait, this is
how centaurs are made? Can you bust a nut in
wild shape? Half fly. You want to find out? Which
also leads to the question of if you're a female
druid and you get your, like, caiman in wild
shape, do you get pregnant? Is that, like, from
the animal, do you retain the pregnancy? No,
I think... We need to stop. No! The animal becomes
a druid that turns wild shapes into a human.
This is science, okay? I think if it's a lady
with a little something special on her, I think
it just auto -ejects after. You know what? All
I gotta say is, if somebody out there is hard...
Just water that shit out. Oh yeah, I know. There
is so much going on. We definitely introduced
a furry crowd to our next show. We might be getting
the worst versions of the furries. Is there a
good version? You let us know and we'll hand
it to you. Alright, Godza, before we turn this
into a bestiality podcast. It wasn't already?
What socks are you wearing? I am wearing my...
What the fuck are those? These are my party socks.
Oh, all the D &D classes on the socks. It's got
a warrior, a wizard, a sorcerer. Like a shield.
Yeah, because it's a D &D party. You're a fucking
nerd. Sponsored by the freaking nerds. What's
your real fact? My real fact is about Harun.
Oh, is he getting another feeling? He is learning
a new feeling. He has learned anger. Oh. He's
been around Nick's long enough. It was like,
oh, I know what this is. Dude, it was him saying
some shit about Franklin. I think that's right.
You slapped the shit out of him. I did slap the
shit out of him. I slapped the shit out of him.
Max damage. Like, what was that? Yeah. You definitely
took Frankie dying to heart. Mark that down in
your emotion counter. I can't remember how many
I feel you know. Yeah, because I think it was
like after we gave three, then he gets like an
intelligence modifier or some shit like that.
Yeah, anger, empathy, and there's another one
here. Oh, I think it was sadness. Sadness, because
Frankie died. Yeah, you learned sadness because
Frankie died. Then there's another one. I swear
there's another one. It was a funny one. I think
you learned... Constipation. I know I lose out
three. No, I was... Yes, it was like trust issues
or some shit like that. Being lonely, maybe?
Concepticism? Being short? You got something
else you got like you got like five or six So
you just might as well put that plus one on your
intelligence modifier. Oh shit Wait wait, how
many are you out right now? That would be that
I swear we have at least four Yeah, did you or
you do plus one from last night give me one?
I don't know Okay, then yeah Before you've introduced
Harun as being kind of a baby, when does he stop
being the baby? I mean, he's the baby of the
group. He gets all the emotions. So right now
what you're saying is... I play Harun, the Warford
monk. He's kind of an existentialist. So what
you're saying is that right now you're going
to have baby rage for this session. Harun's going
to have certified baby rage. Because he doesn't
know how to control it yet. That's right. Nyx,
he unlocked something in him. Some of that anger
transferred into him. So who remembers what happened
last time? Yeah, who wants to recap last episode
of Dragon Ball Z? I still have my story. I don't
because I used it on something last time. Oh,
yeah. Go ahead if you want to recap, sir. So
we went. It was actually pretty short. We were
in the town. We went to the lake, purified the...
Oh, sorry, let's start out. I got a cool tattoo.
A pretty cool fucking tattoo. It also does nice
healing powers to people that are with the other...
That are, like, meshed in with the magic. And
you got your death ward, too. Yeah, that came
with the tattoo as the death ward. Went to the
lake, purified the lake. It's a nice... A lot
of nice carp in the lake now. Hi, Cookies. After
we went to the lake, we went and got the guy
in the igloo, took him back to IB. He gave Franklin
money. I think it was just Franklin. He gave
you a bunch of money. Haroon got to take a little
ride with Nix down the chute. Basically, after
that, we went back to the city. That was pretty
much where we left off. Oh, we got a bunch of
money from the townspeople. I got a bunch of
diamonds for our spells. We also used Haruna's
live bait. Oh, that's right. We used Haruna's
live bait. We did. Yep. That was pretty fucking
funny. It was pretty cool. Haruna slapped the
shit out of me. Slapped the shit out of Nyx for
talking shit about Frankie. Yeah. Will he ever
let it happen again? That's the real question
we're going to find out. Nyx has a short memory.
It's all those concussions. And the drinking.
I didn't help the situation. I just forgot what
I did. I wonder why he slapped me. Well played.
Caught me off guard. And then we went to sleep,
right? That was where we left off. We went to
sleep and then we woke up. Yes, and then we said
that we would. Today is the dragon hunt. Well,
it's... To which I would like to actually say,
in character, if we have gone to sleep or not.
I want to know. Yeah, you guys have rested already.
Okay. Why? Nyx now will say, in character for
starting, Hey, so I realized I could sense this
dragon at the beginning of a day. So why don't
we hunt it toward the beginning night and then
I sense it. We zero in on the location. At the
dawn of a new day, I sense it again so we can
zero in on it. Isn't that what we, like above
game, isn't that what we said we were going to
do? You know what, Nix? I know I give you shit,
Nix, but you know what? That's why you're the
smartest man in the group. That's a really good
idea. Take that, Franklin. I'm just going to
smirk at you and go, hey, if you got it, you
got it. Hey, I got it. If he's the smartest man
in the group, then I'm a fucking giraffe. Now,
damn, you're tall. I mean, in real life, you
kind of are. And he's got a long neck for a reason.
Is that what he is? Harwin's been confused this
whole time. Well, I suppose they're both yellow.
This is my summer form. I'm a giraffe. In my
fall form, I'm a gazelle. This is my winter form.
I'm a tired little bear. So... Are we all getting
breakfast at this point? Is that what we're doing?
Yeah, you guys are eating with the townspeople.
You smell a bunch of fresh fish being prepared.
Mmm. Morning fish. They didn't have fish yesterday.
So, are we going to eat and then head out? I
think we should start heading that way. I think
so. Not that we can't use the plan to sense late
at night and then early. Yeah. But it's 30 miles,
so I think we should make some, get closer to
it, and that way we can get a better idea. Yeah.
Make use of it. Be able to try and do it a little
bit. Yeah. Be able to geometry that shit. Of
course you know what that means as a smart man.
Yeah, obviously. As a smart man. Yes, yes. I
know about things. He numbs it well. So as the
actual leader of the group, I'm going to use
inspiring leader to give you guys a bolstering
performance. You guys, that is temporary HP equal
to character level plus modifier, so you guys
gain 11 extra hit points. Yay. Shout out to Eleven.
Wow. Everyone kiss your hearts on the lips. That's
how you say thank you in the Feywild. Top or
bottom? What? It depends on the day. Does Eladrin
have puss puss? No! One way to find out. He's
talking about your brown eyes. What? That's not
what we were talking about. But the bolstering
performance, again, will be a rousing of a song
called The Wild Rover, which is, we'll say in
Elvish, drinking the song about someone that
has finally gotten money to pay their bar tab.
Nix finishes this performance with a salute and
a single tear shows their mind. That's my captain.
Next time. Yeah, because I'm so inspired. Nix,
roll me a protection check. I got the same number
twice. I saw that number. I mean, you have inspiration.
You make a deal with the devil. Okay, then my
number is ten. Okay. Yeah, you're looking around
the table. There's alcohol on the table, but...
Somebody else wants to roll. Yoharis? What am
I rolling for this? Just perception. Alright.
I'd be looking for anything that I could throw
into my magical healing stew. Oh, okay. Yeah,
go ahead and roll your perception check. See
what they got there. Wow, no, I rolled a 1. Oh,
wow, yeah. Getting that one out of the way first.
You're distracted by there's just so many elves,
and you're like, what the fuck? I don't remember
this yesterday. Oh, yeah, he changed them. Guidance.
I'm going to do a perception check. 15, or I'm
not even going to use guidance. 15 plus 9. Oh,
yeah, you got it. Holy shit. on the table that
you you saw nicks trying to like if there was
a there's like a table with some alcohols and
stuff he just it was too short to see over it
but there's like a bottle that's like right in
the center that looks really dusty and old i'm
gonna kind of grab it and then hold it down to
nicks and then blow like all the dust yeah go
ahead roll a con save you're getting dusted in
the face oh we're just getting them out early
Get him out. Get him out. What'd you get? We're
getting that one out. And that one? Yeah. Was
it that one? It was. It was a one. Yeah. Was
this alcohol related? No. Yeah, so you got dust
in your eyes so you can't see shit. You're like,
what the fuck? And you can't see what he's holding
because you got dust in your eyes. He's got one
side. I do have bonsai. Yeah. Well, your eyes
still hurt. You can still see, but his eyes are
really bad. His eyes are really bad. He's holding
a bottle, but you can't really tell what kind
of bottle. Yeah. What is it? You can uncork it.
Oh. As the village elder kind of sees you guys,
he says, oh, this was a bottle we found in the
basement that's been sitting there for, we don't
know how long. It was some of the old, it was
some sort of brown liquid. I don't know. We don't
really drink that kind around here. A few of
us do, but in the church, we don't really partake.
I'll probably pop the cap off and then, you know,
take a whiff and then realize, like, it's really
strong. I'll be like, oh, my God, what the heck
is this? And then pass it off. It is, like, super
aged whiskey. Oh, yeah. And then I'll, like,
pass it off. I'll take it. Nix, you immediately
get that smelly smell. As soon as you uncork
it, I reach in the area of the bottle. Yeah,
he just, like, he grabs the bottle. Wait, Haria,
are you trying to grab the bottle from him? I
was trying to grab the bottle. I'm just looking
at it. He can still see it, though, because he's
got the blind side. If it's within five feet
of me, I know it's there. Roll off to see who
grabbed it. Yeah, go ahead. Go ahead and roll
strength to see who can pull this off. Strength?
No, it's not a hand? Actually, you were trying
to do your... Strength, and then you're going
to do your... See if you can finagle it out.
Check. You're going to do an athletics. Nah,
I lost. What'd you get? A three. You got a rule
higher than a three. I already did. It's 30 -20.
Haroon tries to grab it, but you just... You
see Haroon go for it, but it was just like he
doesn't even open his eyes He just grabs it from
you as soon as you uncork it. I was gonna say
as soon as he hears the little corking noise
it's just like oof It smells strong. It's been
sitting there for a while and it smells like
Probably the strongest thing you've smelled so
far. All right. Oh, okay. If I smell it like
that I recork it I then hold it up and turn to
the group The last one to hit on the dragon gets
the booze, boys. You know what? I'll hold you
to that. Keep it cool for me, Nix. That's how
I can tell that it's special. If he makes a face
by smiling. Druidic, elvish, common. I think
one more. Sorry. Common, druidic, elvish, undercommon.
So anyone speak Dwarvish? No. Oh, wait, maybe.
Undercommon, what the fuck? Oh, is that, is that
like? Underdark. Yeah, Underdark, that's what
it is. Yeah. Because there is, there's some,
like, you saw there was some writing on there,
but you can't really, my language you know. Okay,
so. Nope, never mind. I did not. So we don't
need Dwarvish here? Hey, you know Dwarvish when
you're drunk. I got it. What? Hey. I got Dwarvish.
Yeah. Oh. It's dwarving me crazy. But remember,
you love dwarves when you're drunk. Yeah. But
I'm not fully conscious of that. It's a subconscious
superpower of mine. He gets drunk. He doesn't
know that he's aware of the powers. It reminds
me of Always Sunny in Philadelphia, where I speak
this weird gibberish language. It's like, that's
Gaelic. They're like, no, no, we made it up.
It's just fantasy. Like, you struggle with English,
you understand Gaelic, it's made up! What episode
is that? I've watched so many episodes, I'm always
studying. It was, um, damn it, I don't remember
which guy's which. The one I think is the dumbest
out of the group had a pen pal. Charlie? Yeah.
He had a pen pal. Oh, and then went to Ireland?
Yeah. Okay, yep, I know exactly who, yep. He
had to go to Ireland. Yep. Like, you... I didn't
really watch that too much, because after I watched
that one once, I was like, this ending is sad.
It was sad as shit, yeah. But I think that's
what they wanted. They wanted that. So what does
Dwarvish get me? Sorry, I'm so sorry. So the
bottle, it's in Dwarvish, so it just says, it
just says Olaf Brew, and it's stamped from before
the war. So this bottle has been in the ending
for well over 100 years. My God. Cool. I don't
say anything about it. I think that's older than
all of us. I'm 120. I think I'm about 150, 130,
somewhere around there. Yeah, so this thing is...
We're still young. Yeah, we were kids. Yeah,
when the war started, I said I was young. How
many years since the war has been? Ten. Ten.
Which is roughly how long you've been alive?
So I'm probably not even going to know yet. You're
not legal. I'm just a baby. That's your answer
is when I stop being a baby. In eight years.
Yeah. Yep. In eight years, he'll be barely legal.
Well, I guess it would depend on what country
you are and how much money you have. Cut that,
cut that, cut that, cut that. We're going to
make all the toss. What's the cutoff from here?
How do you feel, Nick? Your fighting duo is barely,
not even a preteen. Is Nix about to get cancelled?
I don't care how young they are. Just if they
do it, good. Way too much anime. Nix has no official
statement on that matter, actually. Oh, okay.
Nix would like the presence of his lawyer. I
am at least 100 years old. I just had to look
into it. I think I'm over 460. Well, damn. then
this whiskey is as old as you, Nix. Yeah. Yeah.
I am probably closer to 150, maybe two. Yeah.
So yeah, this has been around for a little bit.
Well, I don't know this, but... I'm not sharing
that. You're not sharing that info? Wow. I would
look at it and be like, I don't really care about
it. Beyond that, it's now priced to be one. Yeah.
I almost thought you would go there and be like,
oh, you guys can't even read that, can you? No,
I have a plan for it if I do win. He's going
to pour it out in front of me. That's what I
was thinking. I was going to say, that's exactly
what you're going to do. He's going to let me
get exactly a sip to know how strong it is and
then make it go away. He's like, no! No! This
is how much you're going to get. And if you be
a good boy, you get this much later. He'll just
try to reach out as far as he can. Look in the
ground or something like that and get some of
it. Alright. So are we hunting out in whatever
direction I sensed the dragon last time? Well,
I think you know the exact direction that it
was in. Yeah, but that was last time. Right,
right, right. Yeah, we're going towards that
direction. And then... If it comes around, like,
to the next morning, or the end of the day, I'll
sense it again. I think that we should actually
sense it around, like, midday. Like, get halfway
there to where you sense it at. Do a sense, kind
of see if we're still headed in the right direction.
Otherwise, adjust our head in. And then once,
like, go right until overnight, sense it one
more time before we rest. Kind of see if it's
moving or not. So, if need be as well, I still
do have a primary which does count for dragons
too. Okay. How close do we have to get you? It
depends if it is in his favorite terrain. Well,
favorite terrain helps out, yeah. If it's in
my favorite terrain, it's up to six miles, but
if it's not, then it's only one mile. Okay, so
I have to get us into a general area, but once
we get pretty close, you can get us there. By
the way, I have three favorite terrains now at
level 10. Oh, shit. What's your third one? Desert.
You know, that's what I was thinking. I mean,
obviously, you probably wouldn't know this, but
if you look at the map of Eberron, it's fucking
desert. Yeah, I mean, he's been around. He's
been all around. Oh, he has. He's been around
town. All right. So we're leaving the cart, right?
Yeah. Yeah, I have the scroll to send back the
components. That's true. Alright. As you guys
are kind of finishing up for the day, the elder
says, is there anything else you guys need for
the trip? Any other rations or anything else
we could provide you for your journey? No, but
I would like to give you something just to hold
on to for a while because we're going to come
back. I'm going to give you all of my gold just
in case something might happen. While we're there.
All right. As the elder takes it, we will keep
it safe for you. So this is probably a fucking
trunk of gold because it's 6 ,100 gold pieces.
Yeah. They have the chest that they had given
you. They just bring that out and just put it
back in there. Oh, actually, I'm just going to
keep that in there. We got robbed while you guys
were gone. But yeah, I'm just going to give my
gold to them because obviously, you know, they're
part of my church. Shit like that. So I'm just
going to trust that they will be good with my
gold. Yeah, he takes it and he says... And if
you need any money for the renovations, please
take it out of my cut and just let me know. Oh,
yeah, buddy. But yeah, that's all I want to do.
Sorry. I'm going to ask if they have any arrows
to spare. Arrows? They say... We have some how
many did you how much did you want any that you're
willing to spare? I know that this is going to
be a tough fight They they uh Let's see Odds
are evens Ryan odds. All right. They have 30
arrows for you. I'll take 30. Yep If you chosen
evens would have been 20 I thought you were,
you looked like you were looking for something.
No, no, no, that's not what I was looking for.
The Switch? The Squeakle? I think it's dumb that
they have the Switch, too, but they didn't make
an OLED that just went back to standard. It's
because they're going to sell an OLED. Yeah,
exactly. In two years, they're going to sell
the OLED version. As someone that works for a
Japanese company, I know how these guys operate.
Also, as we're all doing this, I'll be eating
some of the fish that they've provided. Oh, yeah.
They have a lot of fish. It tastes really good.
Some of it's fried. Some of it looks like it's
been grilled. They've had it very quickly. Are
they caught in the squid? Is that a thing? Not
necessarily. I don't know if this is an inlet
or near an ocean. Inlet. We're in the middle
of the continent right now. It's more like a
pond. Fish. This lake goes from north all the
way south. Yeah, so, uh, just regular fish. Nothing
too crazy. You guys healed the waters. With your
sexual healing. The new Mario Kart 3D, like,
world thing, it's actually pretty cool. It looks
cool. I could say it is. Sorry to kind of bend
it, but yeah, it's like a little open world.
Acid? It looks cool, yep. For... No, we don't
keep those sort of things here. One of the elves
nearby says, we have some of the mushrooms we
collect that are deadly. I was thinking maybe
you put something in their eye. Maybe sand or
dirt? Pocket sand. He's a warforged. I would
like to imagine a little compartment opens in
his hand and then a fan comes out and blows it
on. I like the idea of him eating it and then
he just farts out. Could I have some of those
mushrooms? Yes, they give you a vial of dried
mushrooms. Okay. Delicious. Do you have an extra
water skin? Yes. Maybe two of them? They bring
you back a water skin and a glass bottle. This
is what we could spare right now. Anybody else?
Anybody else want to give me a water? I mean,
I think this one, I have two, but one's filled
with holy water. I guess you could have this
one that has water in it. Alright, I'll take
that. And I want to take the mushrooms, and I
want to take out part of the water, and I want
to try to put some of the dirt and the mushrooms
in there. And try to shake it up in there. Pass
it between the two so that they're, like, both
the same. I mean, there's a church right here.
Couldn't we bless this water? The dirty water?
Yeah. Well, I think... I don't... I've never...
Show me the passage where it says it has to be
clean water. Franklin's got a point. A very solid
point. I don't recall anything in the writing.
It usually has to be running water, though. Oh,
yeah. Oh, yeah. It's running water. Oh. Well,
if you pour it into a bowl while blessing it,
then dump it back into the canteen, I think we'll
be fine. It's more of a jogging water at that
point. It's a walking water. I mean, let's see
how particular the deities are here. Maybe if
you just shake it. Like, say, bless this water
for my enemy's eyes. Like, um... Clear eyes.
I'm not sponsored. Harun, what if while we're
running, you run and I bless you? Now, Lazagna,
while I do understand that and I do agree with
you, I think that if the gods found out about
this loophole that we would get smited. You know
what? You're right. You're right. Let's not test
the gods. I just want to pour it in their eyes.
Yeah. And I mean, I think you already made a
great weapon for that. I don't think we need
to put a hat on a hat. I do agree. Well, if there
is anyone to do that. Put a hat on a hat! A hat
on a hat, yes. I didn't know that he learned
humor. I just had my process and I was like,
what? You could do that? He's like trying to
think of like, how could I stack all the hats
so they don't move? Well, if we don't bless this
water, I reserve the right to tell you guys I
told you so. If we run into any kind of demonic.
Well, my God will be here with us. Is the Warlands
demonic? Yes, a little bit. Then we should probably
get the holy water, right? That's why I got this
water skin right here. And there's a whole water
skin full of holy water that I've been just carrying
around. I also have holy water. Yes, I believe
you do as well. Yeah, yeah. I don't think Brandy
counts, but I do have some Brandy still. I mean,
the same type of effects would work. If you toss
it out in their eyes, yeah, it'll burn. I would
like to point out that I have red dragon armor.
So I can only touch red dragons. Demonic red
dragons. So I don't know if burning it is in
the cards for us, guys. You know what? You're
right. Fire is not a good thing for this. It
shouldn't be anything else. No, fire not hurt
a size of balls. I don't know. Let's not get
into the particulars of it. We just need to mindfuck
this thing and I'll be fine. Alright, on towards
the dragon. Alright, as you guys are kind of
like saying goodbye, you turn around and then
a black portal appears in front of you guys as
this tall hulking figure comes out of it. I told
you so! I step in front of it. Heat collapses
in front of you. As, uh, Harun, you recognize
who this is immediately. No! Wait, wait! They
run over, like, got some alcohol, try to give
it to him. It's the good stuff! As you recognize
Roderick. As he, he says, he looks like he's
been, like, badly injured. He says, they took
Harun. I tried my best. Is the portal still there?
No, it disappeared. Damn. Is it possible to say
I know it was a split second that we could see
through the portal? No, it was just like he got
dropped out and then he was like, damn! Turned
to Yoharis and made him go, who's this? A very,
I don't know exactly the word to use, but a very
important person in Harun's life. You met him.
I met him? You met him. At his sister's workshop.
No, it was Frankie. No. I was about to say, I
remember most important people in my life. I
could have sworn he was there. It's almost like
your aura was there, but you weren't there. Yeah,
it was Frankie. Okay, my bad. Yeah, as Roderick
collapses in front of you, it looks like he's
bleeding. Yeah, I'm going to say, thanks for
saving me. Oh, shit. Ah, shit. That's me. I'm
going to try to go up to the headcast. Take your
hands and put it on him. Yes, yes. I will cast
Healing Word at the first level, which is a d8
plus a d4, because my moonsickle... Moonsickle.
Oh, shit. 30 plus 5, 8 HP. All right, yeah, you
see him, like, heal a little bit, but he still
looks like he's been through... He was barely
alive when he got here. Who took her? Who took
her? He's like... The claw. They were taking
her into the moorland. No. Uh -oh. That's where
we are going. That's perfect. Yeah, we're already
headed in that direction. This feels like a solo.
I mean, not perfect for a rune. I'm sorry. You
got anything of hers on you, buddy? This is the
giant, right? This is the Goliath. Yeah, that's
what I thought. You got anything of hers real
quick? He holds up her necklace. He's like, you
wanted a rune to have this. Alright, I grab it
from his hands, his dying hands, and I walk immediately
over to y 'all. of a magical dragon. Yeah, yeah.
Fancy shit. Us non -magical folk prefer the old
-fashioned way. Boots to the ground. Ain't that
right? Hoorah! Hoorah! That hands you the thing?
Yeah. Smell the direction she went in. I could
just have a look at her. I just imagine you guys
going, I'm like, voice numbers, voice numbers!
And I'm like, I don't know what you're doing.
I'm gonna take it back. After high -fiving, Nick's
actually will hand it to our room. But I am going
to say, as I'm doing that to Nyx, this feels
like a setup. Yeah. There's no way that the claw,
after finding out where she was, just decided,
oh, the Moorlands is the place that we need to
go. And there happens to be a red dragon there.
They have eyes on us, for certain. I moon. I
take off my pants. I heal him with a... You've
got eyes on us, right? In which direction are
you moving? I'm going 360. Oh, okay, yeah. So,
yeah, you guys see Nix's ass. Now, just out of
curiosity, is it a hairy ass? Yes, it is. Oh,
God. How much are you killing for? 15. Oh, yeah.
He looks better. As you pour it in, he's able
to kind of sit up now. He's like, oh, God. That
was a gift from Harun. That was his. Her room
let me see that lock it real quick. Yeah, I might
be able to track he gives a jerk Thank you to
you. Like as soon as you say track Thing you've
ever seen yeah, so I'm gonna and I'm gonna cast
Over the next 10 minutes scrying. Mm -hmm So
I'm trying to scry obviously his sister. Mm -hmm
She can willingly fail the save, but would she
do so? Yes. Okay, cool. Then I don't need to
worry about all the modifier and stuff. Yeah,
because who would be scrying? Emeril's got her,
so really, who would be scrying? Yeah. I can
create, and now what the spell does is create
an invisible sensor within 10 feet of the target.
So the sister you can see in here through the
sensor as if you were there The sensor moves
with the target remaining within 10 feet of it
for the duration up to 10 minutes a Creature
that can see invisible objects sees the sensor
as a luminous orb about the size of your fist
But Yeah So if she can fail, basically there's
an invisible sensor around her within 10 feet.
Like a ghost. That I can see through as if I
were there. Like a fist -sized ball. Yeah, so
you... Destiny 2 ghost. Sure. Can this thing
be destroyed? Huh? Can it be destroyed? Um...
It's not like a thing that can be attacked. I
guess it could be like... They can't counterspell
me because they can't see me. Theoretically,
I guess they could dispel magic. But it shows
up and I think I'd at least get something. It's
not a reaction they can use. He was saying that
they can't really see it unless they can see
it visible. Right? If they can see invisible
objects, they see it. Something. If they can't
see it. How far does that thing see? It shows
up within 10 feet of her. And I can see through
it as if I were there. So it uses my senses.
So, you know, 60 feet of dark vision. Okay, yeah.
It's as if I were there, you know. Yeah, so it
is fully lit as you kind of look around. It's
like this giant cavern that looks like molten
lava has been flowing through there. As you see,
there's a mound of gold and a dragon on top of
it. And there's a dark figure there with... there
with Harun's sister. Can I see anything about
the dark figure? Yeah. It's just someone in a
cloak. There's just like darkness. Do we see?
No, it's only him. It's only you see it? How
close to her is the figure? He's kind of like...
He's closer to the dragon. He's like talking
to the... Giving orders to the dragon. As a...
it appears and then you see the dragon look over
at the orb and you feel it making eye contact
with you. I mentally... Can he do that? That'd
be sick. You see the figure turn around and then
your orb disappears. Cool. Well, now we have
another reason to go find that dragon, boys.
Do you tell us that? Where is he? No, I'm telling
you now. Oh, okay. Because of that dark figure.
Yeah, we have another reason to go find this
dragon, boys. His... Your sister? Yes. I hand
you the lock back. His sister is with the dragon.
Or at least some sort of large dragon. As well
as a dark figure. I think that's our... That's
the one you're looking for. I nudge Roderick
with my foot. Hey, you. He's sitting up now.
He's got a healing potion. He says, yes. Just
describe the figure that took the girl. He was
in a cloak and he had some people with him. They
had tentacles on their faces. Okay. Yeah. And
then... You don't have to play it out, but I
basically try to get him to give me as much of
a description of each of the attackers that he
can. Like taking notes. Yeah, so would your character
know what this creature is? Maybe. I feel like
he probably has read it. At this point, I'm a
decently high level wizard. You would know what
a mind flayer is. When I showed up, I was a decently
high level wizard. You definitely know what a
mind flayer is. Yeah, so you can tell you was
talking about them and then the figure he said
it was hard to see because it was like Enclosed
in darkness and how big was the figure? Smaller
than me looks like about the size of a an average
man average I think you said average Mind flayers,
as a whole, are of a similar size to people,
right? Yeah. They're medium. Yeah, it was around
that time. Alright, uh... So we're dealing with
mind flayers. So get ready for mind games. But
really, protect your brains. Roger. Brain. If
we... If we healed you up... Would you be ready
to get some revenge on these guys? Because as
you know, there's a dragon and I guess mind flayers
and whatever the fuck that dark figure is. Do
you want to get some revenge on them? I was going
to try to persuade him. That's all I was going
to say. Before he could, Roger could even try
to answer that. I'm like, get your ass up. Help
us get the princess or die trying, pussy. You
got one job. Finish it! We're heading out! I
offer my hand to help him up. Is that intimidation
now? He takes your hand, Yoharis. He looks to
Harun and says, Let's go get your sister back.
I think Blank Faced Franklin goes, Go low. He's
going to give him the bottle of Gordon Booch
to sip on. You see him just down half the bottle.
She used the last of her abilities to send me
here to you. That was her. Holy shit. Damn. She's
pretty powerful as you can do that. I don't know
if Perun said this, but she's technically the
head of the house cannons now. Oh, I don't think
you have mentioned that shit. I think it was
a bird when she said that dad died, right? Well,
yeah. I think you might have mentioned it when
you heard the story of it all. I don't think
I heard that. I probably would have referred
to it. Yeah, the dad died, but I also didn't
say that the dad was... The head. He says, I
also don't know if they took the schematics.
Oh, no. Nick hears that and immediately gets
scared, so... Alright, well, should I sense the
dragon now, guys? Roll me a history check for
you and... Actually, all of you were in the war.
Go ahead and roll me a history check. I'm going
to touch myself and Kaz guys. Damn. 19. 16. No,
I got 9. I don't think you can say that, Ben.
What, 9? I'm just kidding. I rolled a 13. I'm
kidding. So you said you got 19? Yeah, I did.
So you remember seeing giant warforges during
the war. And a lot of them that were decommissioned
are now in the Mournland. Like Iron Giants? Yeah,
so there's big ones of this guy. Wander of the
Mournlands now. They're pretty cool though. You
can fit like three guys in. And they are powerful
and strong. Yes, they're strong as fuck. Consciousness
into one of those? I don't know. I think we should
try. For sure. Consciousness? Don't worry about
it. Yeah, it's like taking your head from your
current body. Don't worry about your body. We'll
keep it and, like, we'll make Knicks clean it
right now. We'll put your head on a big warforged.
Well, I have a foot by my body. You'll have a
new body. You'll be, like, bigger. Will I still
be as fast? We'll name you... Maybe. Diego. Solid
answer. Solid answer saying maybe, though. Because
big don't mean bad. Nix is giving me no answer
other than, oh, maybe. We changed his class entirely.
Now he's a paladin. A giant paladin. I think...
I think you change your whole body. Who knows?
I think you stay a bunk and all of a sudden we
have a, like... 50 -foot monster that can move
like hundreds of feet at a time. It's pretty
terrifying. Just take one step and it's just
already there. I would like to throw a dozen
blows in this moment. It's just like these massive...
He's like some sort of iron giant fighting in
some sort of Pacific Rim. I mean... Maximum pulse.
Can I try to do a... Is it a medicine check to
try to see where Roderick's HP is as a whole?
Are we going to throw that motherfucker health
potion and we're going to hit the road? Well,
I just want to understand and see how much HP...
Because that will also determine if he's going
to be a big use to us. We're probably going to
sleep at least once before we get there. That's
true. Okay, that's probably true. But that was
also in character for Nick saying that. Like,
stop coddling this motherfucker. He failed his
job. Let's get it. I will just look at Roderick
and just be like, so what are you good at, bud?
Like, I know you're big, but what do you do?
The eyeball. Just so we know where to put you
on the battlefield. I can swing a hammer and
I can repair things. You can swing a hammer.
So, like, if we were to put you, like, as a class
of, like, somebody that likes to hit things or
somebody that likes to throw spells at people.
Would you consider yourself a fighter? Yes. Yes.
All right. Are you any good? So you're a fighting
man? Okay, fighting man. I survived the war.
Okay, you could have just been chilling on the
sidelines the whole time. I look to Haru to see
if he reacts hearing that word. Haru don't react
no more. He's got the calmness of mind. I'm going
to pat him on the back. War. What is it? But
I just wanted to kind of understand where he's
going to be on the bow. Because, you know, he
likes to work on things. So I thought it was
like maybe he's an artificer and that's not great
to have in the front. It can be depending on
what their little subclass is. I'd like to put
forward that Roderick is not going to be that
useful to us. Okay. Takes a while to get on our
level and he's been hanging out inside the city.
If he's a barbarian, you know, he's probably
got a lot of HP. Throw him in the front. I mean,
we could throw him in the front regardless. He's
the first guy in. What are we talking about,
guys? He's the first guy in and he's the first
one to fall. Or last one to fall. We're saying
this in front of him, too. I think that having
a Goliath with a hammer that's a fighter in the
front is a good idea. Fantastic. Give us at least
30 seconds. Cool. Alright, so let's head on in
the direction. I think we've been walking at
this point. Yeah, you guys have been walking.
You guys get to the water as... I just grabbed
his arm. The village provided a boat. It's not
the biggest boat, so you guys are going to be
cramped on here. Oh, no. We need to make space.
If only there's a Goliath of a being that's taking
up all the room on the fucking boat. As I start
trying to nudge him a little bit. How far is
the... How wide is the river? Is it possible
I could turn into a seal and swim less across?
A seal? Yeah. Oh my god, you two could both turn
into water animals and then like swim less there.
Like what else? I'm trying to think of like something
that would have like, you know, enough space
in the front to kind of push a boat while also
being able to have a tail on the back to swim.
I'd say just pick Giant Octopus and then hold
people on the sides of the boat as well. And
then have like two legs that you just like kick.
It's not like a small river so it's not too big.
It's a river. So it's like 50 to 100 feet across.
How fast is the river? It's going at a pretty
decent speed. The dogs is not merciful. Well,
you could do it. You would have to roll in order
to, like, keep your balance. Okay. All right.
Well, that'd be accurate. Our goal right now
is just to get across the river to the warm land,
right? We're not, like, taking this boat right
down the river. Athletics. Athletics? Yeah. And
then I think once we get across, figure out what
time of day it is. As you guys are talking, you
should start walking into the water. Okay, i'm
just gonna turn into a seal and then like get
everybody in the boat Have fun swimming and I
can slap my hand on nixon's shoulder and then
we just dimension door across the river As i'm
kicking across I might have something for you
as a thanks Yeah, does anybody else want the
express yeah you uh you're uh You're kind of
keeping pace with the boat. Go ahead and roll
me another one. See if you can beat the boat
there. Hold on. I'm the seal. I can swim pretty
quick. That is... You said athletics? Yeah, go
ahead and roll me two. See who gets there first.
That's 24. Yeah. Holy shit. No. You're just trying
to pull, but there's some hefty boys in there.
You see... You're getting there. Haroon beats
you by about... Maybe about a good minute. Just
like a land creature waiting. You guys see Harun
walk out of the water? I was wondering where
you went there, bud. Yeah, I went into the water.
I thought I was going to be the fast way, but
turns out I was the slowest. You see him holding
a fish in his hand? The wizard just stretches.
As he finally hits the shore, I stand up and
start stretching it. I almost fell asleep. What
time of day is this? It's, uh... Is it? It's,
like, early afternoon. Seal form really fucks
it up mentally. So it's about time I look for
the dragon? I think we're basically... I know,
she's so cute. She's like, run my belly, please.
So it's... We're basically in the moorland at
this point because we cross the river. Yeah,
then all of you as you kind of step in there.
Y 'all feel different. Everyone roll a con save.
Oh my. It's like a power roll. Yeah. Okay, okay.
What kind is this? A con solution saving throw.
Oh my. Did it get some poison? You gotta be fucking
kidding me. I think this is important. You want
my inspiration? That would be cheating, and I
would feel bad. No, it's not cheating. It's part
of the game. That's what inspiration is. We've
given each other inspiration. We've shared inspiration
before. Yeah, so take mine. Re -roll that. 15
for me. Okay, yeah. 14. 14. I got a 13. If it's
a poison, then I can't be poisoned. It is not
poison, but as all of you kind of... get in there
where'd you get 14 14 okay yeah as like all of
you kind of get in there you feel like this heaviness
of like almost like trying to like you feel like
your form kind of shifting as you're trying to
keep yourself like together as like your body
kind of felt like it was just getting like pulled
from the inside as you kind of just set yourself
in this we're back in the shit I think it's this
oppressive feeling of just oh I died You see
the landscape as everything looks kind of warped.
The trees that are there are twisted and gnarled.
There isn't really any grass. It just kind of
looks like scorched earth. Bringing back memories
of the war from you guys. So we are in the Moorlands,
right? Yeah. Roll me a wisdom save. Wisdom? This
is bringing back some strong flashbacks. I can,
with an action, calm myself. Uh, wisdom? Mm -hmm.
Uh, that's 15. Perfect, yeah, you're fine. Guys,
you, uh, this is, like, such an intense flashback.
You guys see Harun, like, for a moment, like,
panic as you see him kind of just, like, reset
himself, but you saw that familiar panic almost
start to set in as you were like, oh, shit. You
okay there? Maybe let's, uh... What? Let's refrain
from using the W word around here. I'm okay.
What's a W word? Haroon's actually been fine
the entire time Franklin's known him. That's
true. That's true. That's true. I honestly have
no idea. Frankie didn't say anything? You said
Frankie told you everything. Well, maybe he wouldn't
have mentioned it because while I was with Frankie,
I learned how to control it anyways. Well, he
would also just kind of... I got broad strokes.
I got random details, but not like... True. He
knows the color of whatever your harness likes
to wear. Which is none. What? Your horse doesn't
wear clothes. I do wear clothes. No, he doesn't
wear underwear. He uses the little leaves of
himself to cover himself. Is that a little leaf?
It's an evergreen. It's like a fucking palm leaf.
It's a pine needle. Pine needle. Pine needle.
High five. You want to sit on a fucking pine
cone? I was going to say, it's a banana leaf
at least. Cheese. It makes a little crackling
sound. I just think when he's ready to take his
clothes off, he just kind of shakes and leaves
fall down. That would be pretty funny. Brush
off all the nettles. Yeah, all the loose leaf
that's old and fallen off, like hair. That'd
be pretty funny. Oh, yeah. So you guys are walking
through your bush. Damn. Who's leading the pack?
It would be me because I'm about to sense right
now. All right. In this case, I can do it. Purely
because I have the broader sense for this one.
True, true. I love sensing broads. Oh, dude.
If I had this power with an elven woman, it would
be a different game. And that's why we can never
let you get there. From great power comes great
responsibility. And I'm not a responsible man.
Superman said that. I almost wonder if the Knicks
wouldn't feel boosted by being in this area.
Like, yeah, these are the glory days. I love
the smell of fireball in the morning. I swear,
I killed a man right here. You see him start
kissing the dry ball on the floor? It tastes
like home. Yes. Comes across a skeleton. Daddy's
home. He just punches it, turns to ash. Yeah.
I don't want to sense the jacket right now. All
right. You sense you guys are about 23 miles
from it. Which direction? Same direction you
guys are going. It doesn't relay its mood? Nope.
Okay. Well, that's not good. Well, I mean, to
be fair, from the scrying spell, we know that
he was just around a bunch of gold. Yeah. It
also means they're just waiting for us. We are
confidently going into a trap. Told you. Nyx,
as you are walking, since you're going first,
you guys see this, like, fireball coming at Nyx
and just kind of, like, narrowly avoids him and
kind of just... goes, and then you see it turning
back around. The fireball? Yes. Oh. I see the
fireball charging back towards you guys again.
Uh, I would try to eat it. Wait, how big is it?
Like, baseball size? Fireball or fireball? It's
a fireball. It's probably, like, the fireball's
about, like, six feet tall. Oh. Oh. Dude, is
this from Donald's game? No, uh, would I know
anything? About the specifics of it. Oh, yeah,
go ahead and roll me an arcana check. I was going
to say... It's going to be a 27. I was going
to say household person. It's not person. You
remember during the morning a lot of crazy shit
happened. Some people's magic still kept going.
There's living spells that go around attacking
random things. Living spell! So, yeah, it's coming
back around to attack you guys. If that is the
case, I would actually try to eat it. It's six
feet tall. I don't try to take it as much as
possible. But does it disappear if it hits you?
I don't know. Do I know? Huh? No, I'm just...
Like, if it's a living thing, does it just go
away? No, it keeps going. It's still alive until
you kill it. Okay, so it's like a creature at
this point. Like, it's taking on... The Moorlands
made it take on a life of its own. Nix, isn't...
I'm assuming 18 doesn't hit you? No, yeah, as
you see the fireball, you see Nick's kind of
running out in front. It tries to hit him again
as he dodges it. It looks like he's kind of playing
with it now. And it's kind of going back around.
It's trying to hurl itself at Nick's again. I
think we run. I'm going to hit it if it can't
hit me. I think we can kill it. Yeah. Go ahead
and roll to attack. It doesn't have much health.
If you don't take it down, I got it. This should
really take it down because I'm using my great
weapon master to it. Oh, nice. Then that is a
21 to hit. And then I do... Your weapon's magic,
right? Yeah. All of our weapons are magic at
this point, Gonzo. I just wanted to make sure
which weapon this is. I do... 14 plus... 24 damage.
Yeah, as you see, it charges towards Nyx as you
see Nyx just slice through it as it kind of just
like, you slice through it as you feel like the
heat and then it just kind of like dissipates
as you kind of just slice through it. Cool. Well,
that wasn't too bad. Is this what you guys tell
me not to run into the whole time? It's just
the tip of the iceberg. I've never seen icebergs.
This is a fireball. This is just the top of the
enemy soldier. A lot more enemy soldier underneath
that. I get you now. This is the helmet. As you
guys are walking through, everything just feels...
Do we try to walk faster than normal? I would
leave the pack at this point for my pure resistance
to things. And just try to tank whatever we walk
into first. I think I'll be up there with you.
Go ahead and roll your perception checks as you
guys are going. Perception checks? Yeah. That's
why I think we should all be vigilant. Yeah,
I have 15. Even though I'm holding a cat. 14
plus 9. 923. What would you classify the Moorlands
as? A grassland? A forest? A desert? It's more
so a desert just because everything's been blighted.
That means I get double my modifier, baby. That's
cocked. There was life here at one point. I bet
you that's still good, though. Yeah, no, that's
actually 14. What are you on? 23. Oh. You may
as well be vigilant since this is entirely enemy
territory. Yeah, I'm looking at that high. Yeah,
so... Zonda, you kind of see that with your high
perception, there is kind of like other spells
and other kind of creatures. kind of like around
you kind of notice like there is kind of like
a path you guys have to kind of like circle around
so you kind of see like a path of trying to avoid
the monsters because you see like other other
spells like there are clouds that are kind of
like roaming and other like deformed creatures
that are wandering around cool uh with with that
being um if i take my staff away since i'm still
attuned to it do i still get the defenses let
me take it away Like, put it in my backpack and
pull out my shield. Okay, you're still tuned
to it, I think. Right? Because I get fire resistance.
Yeah, you're still tuned to it. Okay. Staff of
fireballs? Staff of fire. Fire staff. I believe
so. Cool, because I just want to say that because
I pull out my shield since we're here. Okay,
I look at you and I'm like, you know what, Lasagna?
I think you might be very poor in this area,
so I entrust to you my shield. You have resistance
to fire damage while you hold the staff. Oh,
while you hold it. So it's moon sickle. You got
to pick between the three. No. Plus four AC.
No, it's fine. I'm holding the moon sickle and
the fire staff. I ain't no bitch. Okay, never
mind then. Fuck my shield. No, the moon sickle's
good. No, I appreciate the shield, but the moon
sickle is just too good to put away. Nick's offended
that you didn't take his shield now. See if he
has your bag. Well, Nix, just understand, like,
my magic comes from the stuff. Yeah, I get it.
You want my show, Franklin? No, I don't subscribe
to hiding behind things. Just people. You're
right. Or being invisible. Well, it's not hiding
behind things. It's hiding. Just hiding in front
of people. I dare them to find me before they
die. All right. As you guys are traveling through...
I'll have you all survival check as you guys
spend the rest of the day going through there.
See if you can find somewhere safe to rest before
you head over. You said another person? 19. 16.
19? Yep. Nope. They did better than I did. Me
too. Look at this random tree. That looks good
right there. That is a nice boulder. You see
a giant, like, school and rib cage that looks
like a giant creature at one point. You figure
you could probably fit inside the school and
hide in it. Oh, shit. I'm trying to make a loose
map. I mean, it's kind of crazy to make maps
over here, but I'm going to try to also make
a loose map as we go. Yeah, go ahead. Yeah, I
point out the skull thing. Cool. Definitely start
putting up a nice little tent for us to all share
one tent. I'm going to start ritual casting alarm
around it too. Alright. Is anyone staying up
and doing watches? Yeah, I'll stay up and do
the first watch. I'll do the second watch. I
will not be doing anything. Nah, it's okay. Our
four hour boys will get this. We're trying to
move as soon as possible after eight hours total
after I guess after the after dawn Then we should
wake you up. Yeah, because this is like evening
time right now, right? So You haven't used it
today, right? Yes, you did Okay, 23 miles away
from when he used it and that was evening and
now we're in and you guys have traveled You know
since you've been having it roll me a d20 see
how many miles you've traveled. All right with
advantage 13 all right so you guys travel 13
miles so we have 10 miles left uh it should depends
we gotta do them all yeah well i mean we only
need to get if we are 10 miles away we only need
to get for four more miles and then our man can
take it from there that's what i'm saying you
hit that right now at 10 miles we know exactly
which direction ahead today Didn't he use it
last night and then we're using it this morning?
It's every dawn. Yeah, it's every dawn. So after
we do this shift. Yeah, so we're going to rest
and we're going to wake him up at dawn or whatever.
Oh, I see what you're saying. After the first
four. I thought you were saying when we wake
up. I can still do primal awareness as well.
When we get closer. Because we're about 10 -ish
miles from where he sensed it. So we do it tomorrow.
know which direction ahead and then we get you
within six and all of a sudden we're bomb all
right all right um we were gonna take first watchable
perception yeah all right so 22 nice yeah you
um you see the same thing like there's like magic
that kind of just wandering when you see like
a like a giant burning hand just walking on its
own across and just going i see it attacking
like uh looks like it looks good like a rat but
the rat is about 10 feet long and you're like
what the as you see like this burning it's like
chasing a rat looking for some long rat baby
this evening um you also see what looks like
a dinosaur but it has six arms instead of the
regular two And it has two heads. That's pretty
wicked. Mm -hmm. And it's kind of sniffing around.
You see it kind of trying to look towards her
direction, but it kind of just keeps wandering.
Obviously, I do have my bow toothpick with an
arrow knocked, just in case. Mm -hmm. And that's
your watch. All right. Give me a second. Wait,
what? Second watch? I said I got a second watch.
You want to do it? You got six hours. No, I'm
in... Well, I was in technically both watches.
I just stay sentry mode outside. Yeah. You want
to roll, you can. He only faced one direction
there, but yeah. Go ahead and roll. It's a good
bandit perception. Got it. That's dumb. 12 there,
plus 9, 21. 21, yeah. Plus 9, plus 10. Well.
You fed me chili dogs. Edit that out. We're leaving
it in. Editor Paul stretched that. Just slow
it down so everybody can stretch hear that. You
hear what sounds like giant flapping wings. I
do have my fantasy night vision goggles. Which
is, yes, going dark. 120 feet of dark vision
because it's amplified by my 60 feet. Do I see
what it is? You kind of see in the sky, it's
a little higher than that, but you kind of see
like a giant figure flying towards the direction
of you guys. Where you guys were heading. Is
it a bird or a plane? Do I happen to see the
T -Rex that Yohana saw? It's a man. Yeah, you
kind of see it off in the distance as you see
it kind of like... looking around trying to hunt
and it's huge it doesn't it doesn't hear or see
that the wing thing and then run uh it's it's
like a a distance uh in the opposite direction
but you see kind of just looking around and those
two heads are worth nothing I want to clock that
T -Rex and just try to see where he's going to
be. Obviously where he is. If he's there in the
morning, I want to know. Perfect. It is morning
now. Oh, shit. Sorry. Before we do that. Mid
-watch. When I wake up, I wake up next. Yes.
Oh, sorry. Hey, are we still doing the thing
right now? Or are we doing that in the morning?
I'll just lay on the side. All right, Franklin.
Franklin. Franklin. Are we doing the thing now
with Nix? I just woke him up. I don't think he
understands what's going on. You gotta wake him
up by then. Let's just leave it until we wake
up. Until we're ready to move out. All right.
Oh, wait. No, I don't go to sleep. I go to watch.
It's not your turn. Yeah, sorry, I just, I forgot.
I thought that was part of the mid -plan. But
yeah, we'll wait till the morning. We're already
in the morning. Well, with us only needing to
rest for eight hours, could we get going in the
dark? Yeah. Because, I know for me at least,
I kind of, I almost operate a little better in
the dark than I do in the morning. You guys can
wake up like super early in the morning and then
just... That's what I'm thinking, because like,
Eight hours, and if we stopped when it started
getting dark, who knows when that is, but let's
say it's, like, eight o 'clock, that's, like,
four a .m., like, still dark out. Yeah, you guys
get up, like, at four or five in the morning.
There we go. Yeah. You guys are all, uh, Roderick.
I guess we need to wait for your dog, huh? It
was just, like, an hour. Yeah. But we can start
heading in that direction, probably, like, a
mile or two closer, and then I can hit it again.
Is the T -Rex still out there? Yeah. It's looking
around. You see it munching on. I'm more worried
about the T -Rex. Idea. What if I try to heal
the T -Rex and then try to talk to the T -Rex?
I don't think the T -Rex will be nice. Okay.
I don't want to use my highest level spells,
but I could also make its memory real bad. I
would say you should save that for the mysterious
figures and the mind flayer. It was just a thought.
If we don't think it's a good idea, then we don't
have to. Doesn't someone have something to make
us a little bit more stealthy? Yes, and as you
say that, I will pass without a trace, which
gives us a plus ten to dexterity, specifically
stealth. Going dark. Going dark. And it's nighttime.
Would I know if I could outrun a T -Rex? Because
I know there's other dinosaurs and I'm faster.
Arun just wants to race this thing. Let me check
their... Let me check movement. Yeah, I need
to know the movement. Because I also... I should
be at 55 movement speed. Yeah. Can you modify
that? Huh? Can't you adjust that manually? I
am online, like on my computer. And through the
app, no. Yeah, because we boosted him. Yeah,
that's right. I remember. It was an extra five
feet, right? Oh, so T -Rexes have a speed of
50 feet. So I can move five feet faster than
a T -Rex. I can just lead it away and then come
back. Those ones are regular ones. You don't
know if it'll be the same. Oh, dang. It's been
altered. Yeah, but that's looking good. But I
will cast Pass Without a Trace on all of us specifically.
So I think we should all stealth up. I think
we're getting close enough to it that if we move
stealthily, we can get closer to it. Go ahead
and roll your stealth checks, everyone, who are
stealthing. They even want to eat me in metal.
I mean, they probably tried, but it would be
really funny for them to bite in and just be
like, ugh. 23 right there, plus... Pass that
up, Trace, it's 10. Yes. Yeah, I got 13 plus
10 right there, so that's 23. 36. Plus 24. 28.
Ah, 17. Hey, that's today's bet. That's today's
bet, everybody. Yeah. Heavy armor. My armor.
I'm going to try to lock the car right now. No!
No! It's considered scale mail. It's considered
scale mail, which I was like, I get it, but it's
scales. The dragon scale mail. I rolled a 15
and a 3. Turns into a nice 17. Nice. That's okay.
Turns into a 17, baby. Arm is badass. You're
wearing the helmet too, right? Yep. And the belt.
And he also has his chalice in his hand just
because he can. Just waiting for young Horace
and his stealth judge to see what happens. It's
safe to assume he passed since we're in his favorite
terrain. I don't think that affects his stealth.
Yeah, it does. Oh, it does? Yeah, so he's going
to get expertise plus 10. Oh, yeah. He has plus
18 off the right one. Yeah, so we're fine. Yeah,
so everyone's... I mean, there's no way you're
always going to roll one. Roll your stealth plus
10. Do you get advantage in here? That doesn't
count because it wasn't in the thing. Yeah, I
do get advantage for a lot of different things,
especially stealth. I didn't know stealth was
one of them. That's pretty cool, too. I mean,
it would make sense because it's your favorite
terrain. You know how to... Right, right, right.
Yeah, that would make sense. Being stealthy in
the desert is crazy work. You just, like, dress
up as a cactus. He just hides in the sand. Like,
he's, like, one of the... What is it? The wandering...
Water... Wandering Saguru Cactus? What are those
cactuses? Have the myth that they move about
the desert? Yeah, 21. Well, I was going to say,
that's a plus 10. Oh, okay. So it's 31. Oh, yeah.
I think the lowest one was 17. Nice. Yeah, 17
was the lowest one. Shout out to disadvantage.
That could have been a 28. As you guys are traveling
through and... You guys are just kind of getting
through. Nothing's really noticing you guys.
You're kind of just going in and avoiding everything.
You're traveling pretty quickly. Yoharis, roll
me a d6. How many miles have you traveled so
far? Oh, all right. Since you guys are getting
a little filthy. Yeah, he should be able to expedite
our travels. Four. Four miles. So we're within
the six -mile radius now. All right, well, anyways,
I use my primal. I use my dragons. Being in Arizona,
you can cut down on travel time, right? Can you
sense the number of dragons, too? I should be
able to sense all red dragons. Nice. All red
dragons within a 30 -mile radius. Perfect. You
sensed three. I knew there was going to be more.
Cool. Guys, I sensed two more dragons, but there
was only one yesterday night. Now, Nyx, how many
does that make? If you have one dragon, then
two more. Use your fingers. Okay, if you had...
If you had one bottle... No, no, no. Two more.
It's ten. Two bottles of alcohol, Matt. Oh, oh,
oh. Okay, okay, so I have one bottle of alcohol
and then two more. Oh, guys, it's three bottles
of alcohol. Right, right. For the audience at
home, Jalen held up five fingers. That's the
stupidest thing is that you understand bottles
of alcohol bad. That's like Kevin from The Office.
Sometimes you've got to take your word problem
and put it in terms that I don't understand.
True, true. That's three whole handles. You can't
fool me. I'm doing math. If you take away, you
have two fists. Okay. Yeah, so you guys are within
six miles. Yeah, so you're within six miles of
it now. All right. Well, there's three red dragons
at least. Well, now I can tell you exactly if
there is anything more. Y 'all, Horace, I just
thought about this. Your ability is able to sense,
like, basically everything that's here. It can
sense quite a lot, although I don't think that
there would be any Celestials or Fae outside
of us. Does it give you specifics, or is it...
Undead. So, yes, I can read it off to you. Oh,
okay. uh aberrations celestials dragons elementals
fey fiends or undead present within currently
six miles yeah there's a lot around you what
do you know i think aberrations count for a little
you just know how many or where they are specifically
uh since whether there are um Yeah, this feature
doesn't reveal the creature's location or number.
They added that, apparently, because it used
to not say that. Yeah, I remember that as well.
Like, it used to tell you. Are you using the
legacy stuff? No, like, current. And it says
it right there. Like, I deadass did not see that
before. So they must have changed it from the
last update. You might be able to go back and...
We can do it later, but we might be able to go
back and update the character sheet to the 2014
Legacy class, so that way you have the original
rules that we're using. We'll do that later.
Anyways, yeah, so you send a lot everywhere.
The old rules, sorry to interrupt, the old rules
also still doesn't reveal location or number.
So it might just be better if I don't do it,
actually. That's what I was thinking, is because...
It's also limited to one mile. Also, from what
you've already seen from all the creatures and
everything else, you've already seen them. Exactly.
You know everything around you right now is going
to trigger that sense. So it doesn't really make
sense to use the sense. I mean, it might. It
just is. The spell probably isn't... The living
spell isn't probably an aberration. The T -Rex,
even if it's a Worm, might still be just a beast.
I don't know. I think that would probably count
as an aberration. Because it's... Deformed. I
don't know. I don't know the specifics. I think
that if I were to use my primeval awareness currently,
all it would do is give me a headache. It's like
when you turn on night vision goggles in daylight.
Yeah. I can see it. Yeah. It's when somebody
throws a flashbang at you. Yeah, it doesn't bother
me. You guys are traveling through? You guys
are traveling there? Kind of do a little few
stretches on the way there. Yeah. Limber up,
you know. It's a free action switch from two
-handed to two -handed. Yeah. Cool, I'm walking
out with my shield. Yeah. You see Roderick stretching.
He's like, we need to get her back. Oh, shit.
Roderick, you're here, huh? Yeah. Holy shit.
Where'd you come from? We've been here the whole
time. Big -ass Goliath just right behind Nyx
the whole time. I think this is a two -handed
weapon, right? He's a hammer. He uses a hammer.
It looks like a sledgehammer, but the hammer's
huge. Two -handed hammer. It's a giant warhammer.
It's a warhammer, but it's much larger than a
regular warhammer, so it's huge. And then you
see as he's holding it, lightning courses through
it. That's pretty fucking badass. That's in character,
by the way. I think as far as... I don't really.
Look at him. Look at the weapon. Look at him.
Look at the weapon. Roger, you should go right
in there. So while everybody's kind of like limbering
up and stretching, I don't think I do because
at least Franklin Williams that he wakes up in
peak physical form every time. But I think I
lean into Nix's ear and I just started getting
him fucking amped. He's edging you right now.
Yeah. I heard this dragon called your mama, bitch.
He's like, there's a hot elf woman that got kidnapped.
He's on a rage right now. He said if you ever
have kids, he's going to take them. He took your
hot elf woman. This could be yours. This is your
wife. He took your wife. He said you can't even
have the dwarf ones anymore. You're going to
let him talk to you like that? I can't pop it
this early. I can't pop it this early. I'm on
the edge. I'm going to save the last one. I'll
say it now, but I'm going to say this last one
until we're right on top of it. And I'm going
to say, he said it's sober summer. That's when
Nick loses his shit. He's going to come. He's
going to come and rage. I'm going to pop. Rage.
He's like, wait, even no drugs? Especially no
drugs. What? This is a random ass reference.
Do you guys remember Mulan? With the little beardy
guy who gets really pissed? He's just blowing
his top, and there's the big guy behind him,
like, just fucking blowing his top. So, as you
guys are traveling to the area, it's progressively
getting hotter and hotter as you're feeling the
heat. I don't feel shit. Inside check. Inside
check on that, yes. I'm wearing a red jacket
armor. I don't feel shit. You're resistant. Uh,
that's a dirty 20 without any monetize. I feel
resistant to the sea. Yeah. You feel resistant
to fire damage. Yeah. Probably feels better than
you do. Yeah. Um, but yeah, as you, as you're
approaching it, like, it is, the atmosphere is,
you could feel like, you see this, like, giant
cavern that looks like it was formed into the
earth that just kind of erupted out. Hey, Haru?
Yeah? What's your, what's your, uh, It's your
armor class. How armored are you feeling around?
He's got disadvantage, though. Huh? He's got
disadvantage. He's a monk. With his cloak. Yeah,
yeah. I'm asking him for a different role. He's
not wearing armor, which actually works for what
I'm trying to do, but only if it actually helps
it. It's 19 AC. 19 AC? What's your next one?
No, it's not going to be enough. Okay, never
mind. Get monks get really good. You see what's
your AC? 14 holy shit. Yeah, come over here real
quick. What's your decks mod? Oh, well, never
mind then I can't help you anymore. Yeah, you're
first. Yeah, my initiative is one Your initiative
your decks it's the same thing. Oh, yeah. Hey,
well, come on. Well, I'm high No, it's high,
Howard. Damn it. Damn it. Should I be giving
you the cloak? Maybe. I'm in the back. I'm in
the back. I'll be out of here. I got Death Ward,
too. Okay, well, I was going to major over you
up, but that's the same thing. All right, as
you see, Nyx, you see a dragon appear in front
of you. Do I have eyes on... You got eyes on
it. Here you go. That's actually what you're
fighting. Aw, I was going to yell, it's my kill
the baby! Oh my god! This is what you're actually
fighting. This is what you're actually fighting.
That was just a joke. Here's what you're actually
fighting. Oh, do we need a... Oh yeah, I got
the map. Do you have your mini -maps? Yep. Or
do you have the actual one? Oh, I got the map.
Don't worry. Oh, okay. Yep. Oh, shit. Where's
my Zonda mini? I was there's only one day. I
was fucking the whole time. There was one big
ass rag is all you need Do you want this or that?
You can get with this dead. I was thinking with
the lava pools in the middle. Or is that really
there? The lava pools are there. Oh, okay. Yeah,
as he actually came to the wraparound as you
guys are entering from that side Because this
is a so this this is right here is gonna represent
his pilot. Oh, okay. He's tanking them No, he's
a giant fucking dragon. I'm assuming you guys
want the... There's three difficulties in this
module. I'm assuming you guys want the hardest.
I'm giving you the hardest. Yes. As you see...
What? Can we vote? Yeah, I was going to say,
can we vote as a table here? Sure. Who wants
the hardest? Okay. Fuck you, Mark. Democracy
has failed us. Boom. Mark got you. Can we vote?
I was like, yeah. You've activated my trap card.
I ain't no bitch. Nix. That was Harun raising
his hand. There's a button outside of the cave.
What do you want? Easy mode or hard mode? And
then you're like, Harun, what would you... He's
already pressing. Easy mode or hard mode, but
easy mode's grayed out. You can't click that
shit. What about easy mode? Also clicked out.
You just hear Harun say, weird. I thought I grabbed
him and locked him in. Yeah, so as you see this
giant ancient red dragon standing in front of
you. Okay. Before we do any actions and we get
into combat, I would be like, turn over the team.
What's the... Sorry. No, it's okay. Before we
do anything, I would look at the team like...
As everyone steps in, who has darkvision? I do.
Yay. You're all temporarily blinded from the
blinding magma that's kind of just emitting.
So everyone who just stepped in who has darkvision
is temporarily blinded. I'm chilling. I think
the most important question... When have we ever
been blinded from stepping outside of the sun
in the morning? Blinded by the light? No, you're
stepping into his lair. So there are certain
lairs that affect you depending on where you
step into, so like a dragon's lair. Interesting.
Some special magic shit. Oh, special magic shit.
And so it's just any player with dark vision
as a racial trait is treated as blinded for their
first turn in the cavern. As a racial trait?
Because if we also remember, I believe I have
goggles, I think. Or did we discuss that you...
We said you had darkvision. He has the goggles.
Yeah, the fantasy night vision goggles. By the
way, before we enter in, I wanted to do this
earlier, but I lowkey forgot. I want to cast
Barkskin on myself. Oh, did you inspire us this
morning? I did. I also, before we do anything,
even though I'm blinded, I'm still going to bolster
my magic. And that should last for 10 minutes.
So I get a d3 to my attack rolls. Any creature
who needs to breathe takes fire damage as it
burns to breathe in here. He said what? Any creature
who needs to breathe so this excludes her run
will take fire damage so you'll be resistant.
But whoever needs to breathe will take damage
in here. Her runes like this is my moment. In
this layer, there's a lot of soot and everything
around here, so all range attacks are disadvantaged
in this layer. He stayed monk. He stayed monk?
Okay. What about if I activate my ability? Yep,
then it's just straight rolls. Alright, then
it's just straight rolls. Yeah. So there's a
bunch of embers and other stuff kind of clouding
there. Wait, what did you say about disadvantage?
Sorry. Ranged attacks. Oh, okay. Kill me. And
then if you try to run, you have to try... So
you need to roll a con save or else you got to
choke from the fumes. Try to dash or just move?
If you try to run. So if you dash, yeah. Dash.
Okay, that's what I want to make sure. Yeah,
so if you dash. We'll say if you dash. You know,
it doesn't have a time limit or... This doesn't
have a time limit or a concentration thing. It
just says I can only use it an amount of times.
For what? To my proficiency bonus. For what?
For bolstering magic. Oh, for those at home,
I pulled out a tiny red dragon the size of like
a D4. That was cute. That little tiny red dragon
was so cute. Then I pulled out a bigger one that
was like 10 times the size and I pulled out a
dragon. Then you pulled out a 3D printed fucking
red dragon. Hey, that was a good second action.
From Ben. Nothing's huge. Well, since we haven't
started. Minis? I need my mini. Also, since we
haven't started yet, I go up to Harun, and I
kind of give him a little headbutt, but I'm bolstering
his magic, so Harun gets an ether. As you guys
are entering in, you hear it laugh and say, Welcome
to your demise. You hear a scream as you hear
Haroon! I want to start flipping it. I'm going
to be right behind Haroon. Or this might be better.
17. Or you like Shadow Blade, but I don't know.
15. Okay, 18. 18. Garbage. Yeah, me too. Oh wow,
he cast 7. 15. Jeez. So your horror's got 15.
Can that be for you? A little goblin? Is she
tied up or is she just over there? She is bound.
Do you need a minion? Oh, you already got yours.
Horror needs a minion. I need a skeleton. We
all need a skeleton. Wait, what did I say? Eight.
What did you get? So you can find the one mini
that you like to use. Oh, I forgot the rule for...
Oh, it's fine. Roderick. Oh, yeah, no. I did
put him out there on the field, too. He's also
part of this front line. He's in there. We got
a pretty solid, even front line. Is he one of
them? Yeah, the one of the little... The Goliath
there. Or the Ogre. He's making the big one.
Or the Orc. Sorry, not Ogre. Roderick's going
last. There were two. The that little gnome on
the in there, that's me. I thought I grabbed
my lasagna mini, but I didn't so it's fine It's
one of my old ones Haroon, you're gonna be first
Oh wait, there's my lasagna mini right there.
Oh nice. I don't know man. I'm just kidding.
It's okay I think obviously last time we played
I think I purposely just put it in there just
cuz it's like I know it's gonna come back to
the next session All right, all right. You said
to me first? Yep, Harun, you are first. Okay,
let's see. Did you like my little dragon, Jalen?
Yes. I'd say we were in the front more. I was
saying, yeah, me and you would be in front, but
probably Roger would be right behind us. Yeah.
Let's see. Yeah, you guys didn't see the poke
figure when you got there. No, I just... Oh,
yeah, you didn't see the poke figure when you
got there. It was just a dragon. Yeah. I thought
you said we saw them. Yes, in the refrigerator
on the door. Is the baby. See, this is your little
dragon from, yeah, your false fact. Shamrock.
Shamrock, kick the baby. Kick the baby. Don't
make it a baby. All right, let's see. Five. The
baby is not a cocktail. I just wanted to plot
all my dragons. Fifty -five makes it to there.
Fifty -one? Fifty -five. Oh, man. Do I have a
dash I can do as a monk? Or is there nothing?
So the wind, right? I was messing with the dice
and it moved and I was like, oh, I don't want
to do that. Oh, this could be the dragon's die.
Not that one, not that one. Wait, they changed
Step of the Wind? Are you looking at 2024? Yeah,
it won't show me the old ones. Go to Legacy.
If you go to your character, does it not show
it on there? I think Step of the Wind was a bonus
action key point spend for... It's saying that
you can choose a willing creature within five
feet that is large or smaller. You move the creature
with you until the end of your turn without provoking
opportunity attacks. Step of the Wind. He's huge.
He's a huge creature. You can spend a key point
to take the disengage or dash action as a bonus
action on your turn and your jump to distance
is doubled. He's too big for you to do that.
That's the legacy. You don't automatically get
to take somebody with you. Okay, well, so yeah.
The dash, so I'll use the bonus action to the
Step of the Wind to be able to get my extra distance.
I'm going to go up to her and I'm going to try
to untie her with my action. Or wait, is she
tied to something or is she just tied up herself?
She is bound in these metal chains and they seem
to be suppressing her. I don't know if she would
be able to answer me, but it could be like, who
do I do? Not until... I'll say on Roderick's
turn. Okay, well then I'm actually going to get
in between because I want to be a little safe.
Can I try to use my action to try to get her
loose? I don't know how that would work. You
can try rolling a strength and see if you can
break these chains. Is she chained also to the
ground? Or are these chains only supported around
her? Like, could somebody pick her up but she
still has the chains on her? It's chained around
her and to the floor. Oh, and to the floor. Damn.
Alright. Try strength, you said? See if you can
do anything. Shit. Do you have lockpicking tools?
I have side of hand. I think we discussed that.
I don't think I have lockpicking tools. You don't
pop one of your fingers out? Can I use athletics?
Nope. Damn you. Alright, I'll try to roll for
it. I only got a plus fucking one. As soon as
you touch it, go ahead and roll me a con save.
That's a dirty 20 for that one. And go ahead
and roll me a con save. He's fighting for it.
Fuck it up, fuck it up. It's on that one that
you were just on. Oh, yeah, it is. Okay. Um,
14. Alright, yeah, you, um, roll me a d4. A d4?
Yep. Damn it, you're about to take it. One. Perfect.
You can't use any special abilities for one turn
as you feel drained. Oh, fuck. Any special abilities?
Yep, as you kind of feel like your energy is
kind of just drained as you touch it. You're
pulling it, and you manage to kind of, like,
budge and pick her up. But these things are,
like, locked in. You need some sort of magic
in order to... As you kind of pull, you manage
to kind of lift her off the ground. But it's
some sort of magic holding it to you. It's crazy.
I got a dirty 20 on my strength. But, like, nah.
You manage... You're picking up. You're pulling
with all your might. As you're, like... It's
not budging. Like, you're trying to break it.
How wrong be sad? But you feel like the... As
you feel... It feels like this is, like, draining
your energy as you're trying to do it. As you
feel like these chains are some sort of magic
that... Okay. That's it for me. Y 'all, Horace,
it's your turn. Alright. You already know that
I'm going to try and shoot a dragon with my arrows.
Alright. You said the disadvantage was the smoke?
Yeah. Unless he uses his ability, which he can.
Which will make it a straight roll. As opposed
to a gay roll. Yeah. But it only goes on like
once a day. I'm just gonna do... I'm not gonna
activate my ability just yet. I'll probably do
that on my next turn. Send it. Heart of the card,
Yugi. All right. So that's either a 19 or a...
Another 19! Fuck yeah! I'm not gonna use it.
So 19 plus 8 is... So 27 hits? 27 hits. All right,
so this is a d12 plus 1. I'm going to use my
plus one arrows on this. So, um, eight damage.
Actually, it's, um, plus three because my arrows
do, it's one d12 plus two and then an additional
one. Yeah, so seven plus, yeah, it's ten. Uh,
now I'm going to try and shoot him again. 7 or
an 11. 7 plus 8 is a 15. 15 is a 15 hit. Nope.
Alright. How much was the first damage you said?
First damage was 10 to the dragon. Magical arrows.
Magical arrows. He's a magical boy. Yeah. And
let me double check my spells. See if I can do...
Yeah. I am going to... Guess I should have done
this earlier. Can we say he casted Hunter's Mark
beforehand? I'm going to cast Hunter's Mark at
the second level. Yeah, he can cast it now, though,
because it's bonus for you, right? Yeah, we're
supposed to be doing Legacy? Yeah, Legacy is
the 2014 rules. Because I don't really like a
lot of the... So it's 2014 rules or Legacy? Click
on 2014. But not Legacy? Wait, wait, wait. There's
core and expanded. So it's going to be 2014 is
like the base 2014 rules. I think legacy includes
like Tasha's Cauldron and everything. Yeah, go
ahead and say legacy in 2014 and then don't put
core rules because I think core rules have expanded
rules on it. I think the expanded rules are the
new ones that just came out. Yeah. Because Druids
would be fucking more powerful if I was there.
But then some other classes kind of got... Which
is rough because paladins are already tough to
RP. Yeah. It really depends. It depends on what
your oath is. You need a lot of different kinds.
Fair enough. That'll be my turn though, by the
way. Okay, perfect. Okay, as you are doing that,
he's going to... No, I'm just kidding. It's Lazaga's
turn. Lazaga, it is your turn. Let me just read
up on this thing real quick. He's not going to
take any legendary engines? Shit, that's surprising.
Yeah, no, if he's not going to announce it, it's
my turn, baby. I'm trying to find my movement
speed. I'm sorry. They changed it. It used to
be in the front, but... Oh, 35. Okay. God, Harun,
why do you gotta be so fucking fast? Oh, wait,
uh... Ah, you already said it was my turn. At
the end of your turn, um... Whoever's currently
breathing that needs to breathe will take 1d6
fire damage. At the end of your own turn, though?
Yep. Because, uh, the air is currently kind of,
like, burning right now. Uh, you are resistant,
Jalen, so... Yeah, so you just take a half damage
here. So at the end of my turn, I would take
the d6 advantage. Yeah, at the end of each of
our turns. So, like, Yahara should have rolled
it. I understand. Okay. He messed up and then
called. That's true, that's true. 1, 2, 3, 4,
5, 6, 7. So I still move there. And then I am
going to cast... Wait, who had Dark Raging? Because
you wanted it for your first turn. I can still
walk. It's true, but you're blinded. I mean...
Bless... Let me double check. Fuck! V! In the
verbals, right? Visual. Oh, no, no, no. Verbal,
yeah. V is verbal. I always fucked that up. You
bless up to three creatures of your choice within
range. And it just requires a sprinkle of holy
water, which I'm gonna just dab. Dab my little
holy water. and then i'm going to cast it on
uh the three that are in range so frankly nix
and y 'all horace did i say frankly i'm sorry
franklin that's my kid that's my crazy right
now i got a lot of things helping me there right
now um so that is a d4 on any attack rolls or
saving throws on you guys and i i'm sure that's
it's gonna be can i do a passing process perception
check what do you for what just to see if there's
like any other hazards or dangers we should be
aware of inside of this what's your passive my
passive perception is 19 uh there's giant lava
pools and then there's also uh other than it's
just the lag mine just the lag types are up top
you can't see them regardless either way i can't
see it regardless right i'm blinded yeah i'm
just yeah with my bless it's gonna be like oh
god please bless whoever the fuck is around me
Oh yeah, you can't really see. You can hear,
like, obviously... But I know the people that
are near me. I know my connections. Like lava
popping as you hear, like... And then go ahead
and roll your fire damage as you're breathing
in. As you feel, like, the burning air. I'm also
resistant to it, so that's only two damage. It
is now the dragon's turn. The dragon is nuts.
And then there's Nyx. Nyx, you're after the dragon.
Yep. And that is Franklin and Roderick's life.
Yeah, so the dragon is going to... Let's see,
how far can that attack reach? Not that far.
Uh -oh. Let me get my... His rulers. The rulers.
No, those are really sick, honestly. Yeah, this
is pretty cool. Oh, this would be more than enough,
yeah. So this is a 30 -foot cone. He can do a
60 -foot cone, so let's see. He'd be able to
get all of these. You said 60 feet out? Yes,
he could do a 60 -foot cone. Yeah, I think that's
close. Yeah. 30, 35, 40, 45, 50. You'd only be
able to get Lasagna, right? It's short. From
where he's at right now. Yep. It's only in the
Zagna. So you move up. Oh, damn. Never mind.
Now we all get shot. Yep. So everyone within
that range is going to... Just roll me a... Let's
see. He's gone for the TPK. Don't forget to roll
with your bless up. Okay, everyone has to roll
a dex save. Oh, cool. Ooh, should I roll all
these d6? You got enough D6? I need 18 of them.
What? Bitch, what? I'm sorry I cussed at you
like that. It's an ancient red. You said a really
big number. Ancient red. And I was like, what
the fuck? It's an ancient red. Wait, I got my
bag here. How much do you got in my bag? 10.
I got 10 right here. Oh, perfect. I got 6 right
here, so this works out. Here, I'll take those.
How many is this? 10. Can I roll? Do you need
two more? I have to announce the luck dice beforehand.
Beforehand. Before I throw? Alright, I'm going
to spend the luck dice to give myself advantage.
Wait, sorry, for the lucky feet? Yes, the lucky
feet. I think you get to call that whenever.
You can choose to spend the luck point after
you roll the die, but before the outcome is determined.
So if you roll, you roll, and then before Gonzo
tells you if it succeeds or not. Do I have to
take the other one? I think I do have to take
the other one. I'm gonna stick with that. 16.
I got a non -natural 20. I rolled an 11. Whoever
got below 21 fails. Below 21? Woo! Oh, fuck you.
Haha! Barbarian baby! Just gonna blow out some
steam. Literally. Yeah. Lost dragon. If he doesn't
knock me down right now, you better help me.
Oh wait, uh... Does that only work when I'm already
bladesonged up? So whoever fails takes 59 fire
damage. Oh, boy. I'm going to cast, as a reaction,
absorb elements at the first level. That's probably
smart. I will 100 million percent also do the
same thing. That is, I reduce it by five. Nice.
So you said it was how much? Are you casting
the spell? Yeah, the spell absorb elements. You
have resistant to the triggering damage. It might
have the new rolls on there, but... Absorb elements
gives you resistance to the triggering damage
type until the start of your next turn. The extra
d6 is the target takes an extra d6 when you hit
with a melee attack on your next turn. What I
have, the spell captures some of the incoming
energy, lessening its effect on you. You have
the new rules. All my stuff doesn't update with
all that, so I'm running a whole lot. So I'm
doing a few elements as well for the resistance
to that so 59 and a half. Yeah. So what's that?
29. Yeah, 29. Alright, that's way more. I don't
know what you guys are using your level on spell
slots for. Yeah. Yeah, so long and wide would
be 29 damage to you then. 21. After the 11, that's
18 damage. So were you resistant? Yeah, I'm resistant.
So 29. Yeah, 29. Yeah. Wow, I heard the number
when I was outside. I was like, bitch. It's half.
29. Yeah, 29. But you're half of that, so...
Quartered. 14. 14. Yeah, all right. Yeesh. And
don't forget, you guys, we have his leadership
bonus. That's 11 hit points, so subtract from
that. Everyone around it within 120 feet, he's
going to use his frightful presence, so everyone
needs to remain wisdom safer, or else they are
frightened. Fuck you! You need to roll your concentration
to see if you still have or bless it. Yeah, bless
it. Bless up. Ooh, nope, you guys are not blessed.
I rolled a seven. That dice is going over there.
Yes, you are frightened, my sir. Who, me? He
rolled a seven, so you're frightened. I cast
a seven, and now I'm afraid. I got a six. Does
your speech not do anything for fright and stuff?
Am I thinking something else? It's feast. I gain
advantage against charm. 19. 19 you pass. What'd
you get? 16. All right. 19 as well. Whoever got
19 and above passes. I was going to say, you
should be good because of rage, right? Not even
rage. I'm naturally good against all mental saves
and then also my armor. I was going to say, I
thought you couldn't be frightened at all. Gnomes
have resistance to all mental saves. What'd you
get, Herb? They're small, but mighty. I felt
the fear. That's awful. You're scared. Franklin's
scared. I'm naturally scared. What save was it?
Wisdom. 21. 21. Yeah, you save. That's his turn
for now. Oh, did he hit me with an attack? Yeah,
it was a giant fire attack. Oh, uh, can he make
a dexterity saving throw? Uh, what? As my reaction.
Okay. Doing something. Oh, um... I'm doing something!
Ah, shit. The fearful presence was just an ability
he has, right? Yeah. Not a spell. Uh... You're
17 for Dexter. You just passed. Because you passed,
you're still going to take 4 damage. Wrath of
the Storm. Alright, let me see. I got an 8. It's
my turn, right? Yeah. I got an 8 on my rage roll.
Let me see what it does. Dope! Okay, I got a
good one. It doesn't do anything that's wrong,
but it's good for later. I am now angry. but
after all that stuff that he did i like i'm not
afraid and i'm barely scratched uh i only took
two hp damage because of the health and stuff
like that so then i look him in the eye i'm like
you're supposed to be a mighty dragon and then
i walk up to him i pulled those lasagna get the
out the way I say fuck it, and I actually dash.
Oh wow, I actually needed it. Yeah, that's just
enough. Yeah, just enough. Alright, I'm there.
That's my turn. Cool. Alright, uh, legendary
reaction. He's gonna smack the shoddy with his
tail. Cool. Uh, does a 31 hit? Yes, that does.
What the fuck? Is there a knockback with it?
Actually, there is. No, he's going to get knocked
back that way. No, just like a little woof. He's
got to make a full swing. So that's going to
be 19 damage. yeah go ahead and roll me a strength
save 26 yeah you uh you get hit as you manage
to like hold on to like you you feel like you're
trying to move you as you hold on to like you
manage just you what weapon you have your sword
right yeah my long sword yeah you managed to
like put your sword in and just hold on to it
and keep from getting uh moved back okay but
you take the full brunt of that tail attack okay
I would like to imagine since I didn't get buzzed,
but I still take the damage, I just kind of shoulder
check the tail. You're like, what's up, bitch?
That didn't do much. Yeah. I'm like groaning.
You bitch, you thought that hurt me? Oh, God.
Franklin, it is your turn. You are frightened.
Yeah, I'm frightened right now. So I can't get
any closer right now. Yeah, you can roll wisdom
save to try to be unfrightened. That'll be your
turn. Yeah, well. I think. Is it just at the
end of my turn? Yeah, at the end of your turn.
Then I'm going to get my blade song up. So I
have that going. Damn! I put y 'all horrors with
the red dragon on them. So I have my blade song
up. That's my bonus action. For... Go ahead and
roll me a d6 for fire damage as well. Damn. Well,
you take half. Yeah, still roll a 6. Alright,
yeah, so you take half of that. As his hot breath.
I don't know how you want to do this, Gonzo,
but I wouldn't mind attempting to spell magic.
Choose one creature, object, or magical effect
within range. I guess any spell. Never mind.
I don't even know what I can really do right
now. And I'm still blinded, right? Yeah. You're
scared and blind. You're only blind for the one
turn. There's not a whole lot I can do. Then
I will... The worst. Blind and scared. Jalen,
that's going to be your job for a while. I'm
going to, I guess... End my turn and do my save.
Alright, go ahead and see how much fire damage
you take. Your save as well. So I have one fire
damage. Are you rolling or not? You can roll.
It's a d6, right? Yeah. So I took one. And then
your wisdom save? Nope. Alright, so you're frightened.
I swear to God, all my dragon fights are going
to end up just like perma -feared because I can't
roll high. Let's fight the dragon. Guys, whose
idea was this? Hi, Roderick. Get him, Roderick.
Roderick can move 40 feet, so he's going to move
his 40. And then use his action to dash up. I
think he'll stand. I think he can get there.
He's going to stand. He uses his action to...
Look, that was only like six, seven, eight. Now
he's got advantage because he's imposing on the
other side. Look at that. All right. Yeah, so
now he's there with Nyx. But he used his dash
action. Yep. That's going to be his turn. He
said that she could respond to me on Roger's
turn. Oh, yeah, yeah. What did you ask again?
What should I do? She says, kill him first. Oh,
the dragon? Yeah. Okay. Fair enough. Oh. Oh.
He's not a platonic kid. All right. Back at the
top. So it's going to be Harun. It is your turn.
All right. Let's see. I'm going to turn around.
Oh. 5, 10, 15. 20, 25, 30. You got the move.
I can run up vertical surfaces. I mean, Gonzo's
not looking, so as long as you keep doing it.
Are you going up the wall? He's going up the
wall. He's going up the dragon. You're going
up the dragon? Because I can run up vertical
surfaces and difficult terrain. I'm not going
to run up the dragon. Well, as you said, so we
went ahead. We went 5, 10, 15, 20, 25, 30, 35,
40, 45, 50, 55. He went up the dragon, then he
went down the dragon. Yeah. So, I mean, this
thing is huge. It would take a lot to climb,
but this thing is gigantic. Okay, well, how big
is it? Like, could I, like, bonus action dash?
You could try, but also, we're not willing to
let you on there. Can it react? It can react
when you're behind him. I'm not grappling him.
Yep, but you're behind him, so it can react.
I called up his leg. Huh? I called up his leg.
Yeah, but you're still behind him. As you're
behind him, he will use his reaction to a tail
whip you. That's the craziest reaction I've ever
heard of. Does he not have disadvantage on the
table? Huh? Disadvantage because of the cloak?
Yeah. Oh, you're right. Okay, let's see. Does
a 28 hit? What the fuck? Yeah, so with disadvantage
it was either 28 or 31. Oh my god. Guys, this
thing has like a crazy model of it. I'm sure,
yeah. Yeah. It's going to do stuff. As long as
it doesn't hit a fucking spot. Harun, that's
going to be... 15 damage, and then go ahead and
roll me a strength save. As you're trying to
climb it, it knocks you, and it's trying to knock
you back. Can I not roll? It has to be a save?
Damn. Not a dexterity save? It has to be strength
specifically? Because I'm trying to be nimble
with this anyways. Well, it's a strength save,
so go ahead and roll me a strength save. Ridiculous.
It should have to roll before it hit me three
times. It did have to roll twice. I said three
times over. Uh, that's a 17. Yeah, as, uh, you,
uh, you get Dogman 10 feet. Okay, so that happened
before I got up. Yeah, as you try to get up it,
as you, and then you just get tailwind. So, hold
on, okay, so I'm here, right, 5, 10, bam, 15,
20, 25. Can he try it again? I'll keep going.
I'm going to dash up that motherfucker as far
as I can get. All right, let me... Let me again.
There's no way to have a reaction. He used his
reaction. Let me have flex. So it's not... Oh,
now we get it. Well, not acrobatics? Actually,
acrobatics. You're trying to scale this thing.
It is not like a wall. It's not like a uniform
fucking wall. So you're trying to have a... It's
not like scales. Yeah. This is vertical surfaces,
and I don't have difficult terrain issues. Also
very true. Okay, let's see. He's waving his tail
around, get the fuck off me. That's 21. Yeah,
as you're climbing this thing, it's just thrashing
and trying to keep you, but you manage to kind
of hold on to it. All right, so how far would
you say I'm on this damn thing? You can get to
the middle of its back. Just using the bonus
action to also dash, right? punch it? I think
he used it. I didn't use my action. I used my
action. I used a bonus action to dash. Yeah,
you're right. But I don't really know. I can't
say good punch. I think we should do something.
I want to do an eyeball thing. You've done it.
You've come this far. You might as well do something.
Eyeball thing next time. I feel like a dragon's
gonna be affected much by a wet willy. Yeah,
kidney punch this. Imagine, like, you kill, like,
a group of men and you're like, that could give
me a wet willy. Like, what the fuck? Alright,
um... That wouldn't be water damage when you
do that. Yeah, that's true. I don't think it
works like Pokemon, unfortunately. Let me dream.
If this thing is a really large size, we climb
inside its ear. Oh, it's huge. Yeah. Wow. Is
that Thanos Ant -Man solution? Why did Ant -Man
go inside of Thanos and then just expand? And
then just expand. Come on. I'm not talking about
expanding, but try attacking yourself. Because
Doctor Strange saw millions of people. It's hard
to remember some of the rules because it's showing
me a lot of the doer stuff. The focus points.
I still see my stats for just my regular attack.
I guess I'll just stab it. I can look it up on
here. What were you looking for? Well, I was
trying to see what would come up with just hitting
it in general because this one says if you hit
with an unarmed strike, you could do your stunning
strike because of it, but I don't... Is that
what normal is? Yeah, just unarmed attack. You
just have to call it out. Yeah, that's what you
do. All right, I guess I'll try to stun it. I
don't think it's going to work. Do it. But I'll
try. It doesn't have a reaction. Okay, let's
see. I mean... Okay, 19 plus... Just to make
a save, that's it. Yeah. For 8. Yeah, so 17.
27. 27 to hit? Yeah, 27 to hit. 27 hits. Okay,
now make a con save. Alright. That's going to
be... He rolled a 12, but he's going to go ahead
and use his legendary resistance to pass. What
a bitch. What is the save? Because they got 12.
I think you said it was higher than that before.
It should be at least 16, right? So I also, but
what about this part? It says on a successful
save, the target speed is halved. Is that a new
thing? No. No? I don't think so. I don't think
that's new. I think that's a normal thing. This
stuff that you have that you're seeing should
be current because it should be still based off
of the monk that you picked earlier because they
have them segmented out between 2024 and 2014.
It should say, like... Yeah, it says if you fail,
you're stunned. If you pass, your speed is halved
until the start of your next turn, and the next
attacker roll made against you has advantage.
Yeah. On a successful save? On a successful.
Okay. So that still happens. Okay, succeeded.
Okay. Alright, so yeah, your speed is halved,
and somebody gets advantage on the next attack
against you. Then I'm just on top of you. Alright.
Is that the end of your turn? No. Yeah. Alright.
Another legendary action. How many of those did
you get, fool? Don't worry about it. Three per
turn. Don't fucking worry about it. Per turn?
Or round? Per round, but he can do, like, I think
the way, I think legendary actions work that
you can do. Okay, I thought you meant, like,
it was your turn. I think, like, you can do one
per turn. But you have so many you're able to
do in a round. Yeah. Legendary resistance is
different than like a legendary action. Those
you get like so many per game. Who knows how
many this thing has. Action is like it resets
when it's his turn again. So it's good that you
got it with that stunning strike to use one of
those because we've got to get it to burn kind
of those. Right. All right. So it's going to
use its wing attack. How are you going to attack
me in the middle of it? It's back. You are within
15 feet of it. So that includes Roderick and
Nyx. Everyone needs to roll a dex save. I'm good
at those. I don't know if it was in 15 feet of
its wings. It's a huge dragon. I mean, you're
literally in between them. You're in the epicenter.
I said they were huge. I imagine I wouldn't be,
but I get what you mean. It was the dragon itself.
You're at the dead -ass epicenter. I'm with you
on that, Mark. Oh, okay. Alright. You've never
seen a bird reverse laugh? Yeah, just go, hey!
Clap above itself. I've never seen a bird do
that. Yeah. I've never seen a bird clap the other
way. Good thing this is a mythical red dragon.
Nat 20. Oh, shit. Advantage, baby. What's the
total? Huh? What's the total? Nat 20. What's
the total? It doesn't fucking matter. It's a
nat 20, baby. He passes. All right, well, so
you'd only take half then. Of course. Actually,
no, you take none since you say it's perfect.
Damn, I could have attacked that shit twice.
There's a nun. That's why you said no. It was
an ore, so you don't take any damage. What is
the fucking... Okay, there we go. Roderick fails.
Roderick! Hi, Roderick. These are the good dice.
Every time I roll advantage, I get one low, one
high. Okay, so that is... 21. Alright. 21 fails.
21 fails? Okay, then I choose to succeed. I have
a legendary resistance. So you take half of the
invasion, right? Yeah. So it's going to be 17,
so you take 8. 8? Okay. Since you failed, you're
also not prone. So you and Roderick are not pros.
How much damage did I get from the tail swing?
The tail swing? That was... I don't remember.
I think that was 17? Or was it 14 or 17? It was...
17. I don't know. I forgot to mark it. It was
2d8+. I can re -roll it. Nah, just re -roll it,
I guess. Or I can give you the average. Or average,
I guess. The average is 19, so... Average is
19? Yep. How many did it? 2d8 plus 10. Oh, 2d8.
No, no, no. Roll it. I can roll it. It might
be worse. Let's see. It's actually 23. 23 damage.
All right. So, yeah. So, you're not prone off
his back. So go ahead. Off his back? What do
you mean? You're not prone. I could be not prone
on his back. You're just really hating this dragon.
Actually, wait a minute. That's a valid point.
You get not prone. Because he also, as he does
that as well, he's flying up. So he's flying
up in the air as he's doing that. Yeah, he's
flying up so fast, I'm like G -forced into his
back. Not prone. Now it's 40 feet in the air.
Are you telling me I'm off of him? Uh, no, you're
gonna... Roll me a... Acrobatics! An acrobatics.
Actually, it's gonna be a deck save to see if
you can hang on. I mean, isn't that good for
you, though? Yeah. Because it's flying up, you
just got hit, so you're trying to hold on to
its back right now. Ah! Wait, I'm sorry. But
you have Feather Fall, so it's like a really
slow... Okay, but listen. You haven't listened.
The evasion says that if I fail, then I succeed.
I take half. Yeah, but it's also a natural one.
You take half the... No, because... You said
how high is he? Forty feet. Yeah, I wouldn't
take any damage from the fall. Yeah, because
you... Because he's a monk. Yeah. I can't remember
your ability. Yeah, but yeah, it's only 40 feet.
All right. I'm on the ground. Yeah, that's all
right. You guys are at least doing stuff over
there to fight. I played Songed Up and was like,
I'm just going to be right. Yeah. Yeah. I'll
hop in there. Yeah. Wait for me to stop being
blinded. Get a little wet so I can finish it
off. The harvest is your turn. Eat a little.
Well. I'm going to shoot him. Do it. I'm really
curious to know what Nick's going to do. Nick's
had a plan, and then he flew up 40 feet. And
Nick's was double -checking his range ability,
and it has a range of 30 feet. So he is 10 feet
out of the air for Nick's to do shit right now.
I'd love to help you, but... I have one range
thing, and it is a 30 -foot range. You son of
a bitch! You son of a bitch! Yeah, Nyx is can
-planted for his move at this point. I'm looking
for my dynamite arrows. I forgot how many I had
of those. Dynamite. That is true. Dynamite! Oh
yeah, no, it was... Fire damage or bullet damage?
Force. Dynamite. Force would make sense. 3d6
bludgeoning. All right. I have seven of these.
All right, so I'm going to shoot him. And...
Let's see if that hits. Does a... We really had
to add the sulfur. Right, we don't need any more
sulfur. Does a 16 hit? 16 does not hit. All right.
Oh, yeah, Hurin doesn't need to breathe right
now. Hurin doesn't need to breathe. You're not
affected, Hurin. I'm going to try and shoot him
again. Yeah, I'm not effective. All right. Well,
something tells me that a 12 also does that.
I have a way to maintain my rage, I remember.
I do have one last option to keep my rage up.
Oh, man. Yeah. I remember her and gave me throwing
stars. No. Yeah, I don't know. It tells me if
you take damage, right? Take damage or... Oh,
I did take damage. Yeah, you take damage every
turn because of the mire. Just constantly...
Just pissed off that I have to breathe. Alright,
well, unfortunately, that is going to be my turn.
Okay. Lazagna, it is your turn. Oh, Nick, sorry.
Go ahead and roll yards for fire damages. You
take a breath and it burns your lungs. Real quick.
Just before we entered this cavern, did we recall
seeing any T -Rexes? No, the one you saw was...
Why? No, just trying to get a kaiju battle going,
that's all I'm thinking. One, two, three... Enemies
abound on each other. Yeah, but I don't think
I can turn into a kaiju that's really going to
be good for this situation right now. Yeah, I
could. We've hit it a few times, but not very
much. I've done at least 10 damage to it. I've
done some lightning damage to it. I think Harun...
Harun punched it one time. It's been my whole
turn getting angry running into it. I do recall
one piece of lore in the Zogna's history of one
use of if I roll it and I hit it, it's good.
What is it called? Divine Intervention? Yeah,
Divine Intervention. So as my action, can I possibly
try to roll for Divine Intervention? Yeah, send
it. It has to be below a certain amount, so it
has to be below 10. On a D100. Yep. You want
to roll the ball, or you want to actually send
it hard to the card? Roll what? I have the D100
ball. No, no, I'm rolling the dice. Below a 10,
baby, below a 10. 81. 81, but I have inspiration.
It's got to be double zeros. It's got to be double
zeros. It's got to be double zeros. 61, son of
a bitch. Jenga. Oh, look, he's hurt. Quarter
health now. Damn it. That was like a whole thing
to put it back on. Then that's my action. From
looking at everyone, I'm probably going to be
looking at Harun the most. And I'm going to cast
Healing Word. I know he's in the bathroom right
now, but I'll let him know. I'm going to be casting
Healing Word at my second level. And that will
be 3d4, I believe. Yeah, 2d4 plus my Moonsickle.
8 plus 5, so 13 HP back to Harun when he gets
back. Yay. That's my turn. All right, go ahead
and roll me the d6. Oh, shit. Five, so that's
going to be 3? Or 2? 2 HP. Who's turn is it at
to me, Haru? The dragon. Oh, shit. It's the dragon,
then Jalen, then me. Right? Yeah. Yeah, I can
live. I'm only third with an A. So just out of
curiosity. Low rolls. Who the fuck was like,
let's go fight a dragon? I don't know. Fuck that
guy, right? I healed you 15 HP. Me? Yes. I think
because after seeing all those shit happening,
I think you look like you took the most damage.
You said 15? Yes, sir. Awesome. All right, so
he's going to... Where'd she go? She left. Sorry.
When you were gone, I hit the dragon and it fell.
It was a whole thing. The wing didn't pop off?
It popped off and I had to try to finagle it
back on there. Gondo still has to consult the
tome. The point being that she decided this was
a flame and took off. That was being sassy. He
said, look up rules on climbing. Sounds very
made up right now. I don't know if I appreciate
that. So he's going to... Don't tell me he's
going to go up 40 more feet. Good idea. He's
going to fly higher. You don't have to worry
about the... So he's going to fly up higher and
then he's going to... You've got to pop the tab
first before you stack them. You just kind of
have to angle it a little bit because the wing
is not there, so you have to offset it. And then
you're going to hear... I like to stack rocks.
Does anyone speak Draconic? Yes. No, he's a demon
guy. Perfect. I'm a short guy. Short people guy.
I talk to short people. I speak on their level.
Once I'm blinded and I'm feared, it's over for
you, dragon. Hey, I'm not going to be blinded
anymore. And then we'll see about if we can't
get rid of the other thing. I'm sorry. There's
so many fucking things to say. He's going to
go ahead and summon some of his minions. But
you understood as he was calling for them. Come
forth, betas. As he's doing that, can I shout
out to the rest of the board? No, he's wanting
to test it. Jalen wanted a dragon. What? You
gave me the dragon armor. Can I shout out that
he's selling it? Yeah, sure. Oh, here it is.
Shout out to everyone. He's getting out more
of them. That's 1d10. What? Can it be 2d4? Arriba.
In the interest of time, can it be 2d4? Alright,
so he summons eight of those. So now he's 60
feet in the air. Where did they summon him? So
he's going to summon them just all around. Can
you summon them anywhere? He's got a lot of range.
He's going to put them... I was wondering if
it's a range thing and you're already 60 feet
in the air. So it's going to be two surrounding
everyone and then three surrounding... Actually,
it's going to be three surrounding Nyx. There
we go. Perfect. There you go. Nyx is getting
gangbanged. I'm going to go with it. Somebody
get this man a couch. It's the five dragons behind
me and Nick smiling on the couch. I'm a wizard
and I'm casting couch. And the title is, guess
which one's the bad dragon. He'll really feel
it. He will really feel it. Dear lord. Alright,
so they're going to go on his turn to describe.
That is his turn. Nick's is your turn. I'm going
to take one of my throwing stars. The dragon
is 60 feet in the air. Yes. It's right within
range. You have three people surrounding you.
Yeah. Right within range. You have disadvantage
because of it. Huh? You have disadvantage because
of it. To hit him? Because you have people encroaching
you. But you could. You have disadvantage with
range anyways. Murder the hell out of summons
here. Yeah. Okay. Just try to murder the hell
out of summons. Triple disadvantage. Triple disadvantage.
I'll keep you going. Yeah. So then I turn to
the one in front of me and I recklessly start
swinging. Hell yeah. He's doing it. He's doing
it. He's doing it again. That kind of washes
out the Great Weapon Master. So then that's 31.
31 to hit. Wait. Are you doing a range attack?
A melee to the things in front of me. Oh, on
the creatures in front of you? Yeah. Okay, yeah.
Yeah, that hits for sure. So then that will do...
25 damage. Oh yeah, you kill this thing. Cool.
I turn to the other one. Another 31. Yeah. And
I do... 29 damage. Cool. So that's two. Two,
one left. The one next to Harun, between me and
Harun. I shoot a bolt of chest lightning. It's
radiant lightning, radiant damage. Is it a save?
It is a save of 16. What kind of save? Wisdom.
Hold up. Let me double check. These things aren't
wise, so it shouldn't be too bad. Well, I'm pretty
sure a 10 fails. Yeah, here. It is a... Con,
sorry. Con. Oh, con then 11. Okay, still fail.
So it is blinded and it takes 6 damage. Alright.
That is my turn. Perfect. I think dives as well.
These things aren't very strong. Oh, okay. Go
ahead and roll for... D6 as well for fire damage.
Actually, I want to. I'm going to move to help
Roger. Sounded like Seth Rogen. And then, yeah,
I'm done. I took my two damage. Perfect. It's
going to be... Gonzo, is that fire damage he's
taken? Yeah, fire damage. Yeah, that was with
my cut down. No, no, no, no. Franklin. It is
your turn finally. I'm going to bonus action
cast Shadow Blade into my hand. I thought you
already did that. Oh, no, sorry. I didn't have
my blades on. And then... You're still frightened.
I'm still frightened, so I'm going to try to
be less frightened. Is anyone else still frightened?
No. I actually know it was only for the one turn
around. No, it's until you save. Oh. So you're
still frightened. All right. Roll to save. Yeah,
go ahead and roll. The wisdom saves you if you're
still fighting. I got a 17 this time. Dirty 20.
Does not save. It has to be 21 to save. Fucking!
21 wisdom to save. It's a save, though. Yeah,
exactly. I get a plus one to it. So he's literally
at the nat 20 to save on it. You have proficiency
because you're a ranger. No, they probably have
dex. Dex and wisdom are... Dex, wisdom, con are
like the major three. Damn, if only you were
still here. If only you were still blessed. I'm
sorry. I'm just kidding. Roll the natural one
on my concentration. You forgot the skill. That's
all I had, so I guess I am still feared. I have
a significantly better plus to my save than...
Did you roll for wisdom save? Yeah, I rolled
a 15. And then go ahead and roll for your damage.
It is now Roderick's turn. He's got two people
in front of him. One in front, one behind. Perfect.
He's gonna take a swing. He's gonna kill the
shit out of one of them. Natural 20. No, he got
a 25. And a 21, he's gonna kill it because he's
gonna do... Yeah, alright, so he kills both of
them next to him. Sweet. As you see these, like,
fire things, as he... Roderick's hammer just
smashes through as it's, like, lightning courses.
As he breaks through, he kills the two of them.
Nick's whispers. Can I scream? If I see this,
can I scream to him something? On your turn.
Okay. So that's back at the top. It is about
to be 9 .30. We could call it here and pick up
the fight when we get back. Alright. Take pictures.
So we can see where the fuck we are. Just remember
who You were. Yeah, I need my D6s back. Go in
here. I put them in a separate crate out here.
There's 16 fucking D6s that you rolled earlier.
18. Oh, sorry. My bad. Well, folks, next time
on Illiteral Dragons Balls, more of this. We're
going to be dragging our balls across this great
dragon. I was going to say, is it a male dragon?
Could I just, like, take out his nest? Oh, shit.
Those are probably worth a lot of money. But
anyways, folks, we'll catch you next time. Later,
nerds. Later, nerds.