Why didn't you guys do this beforehand? If only
we knew that we were leveling up beforehand so
we could do this. But anyways, this is Freakin'
Nerds. A D &D podcast where six friends play
Dungeons & Dragons. I am Will or Will I am. I
don't fuckin' know. But what I do know is that
I play Lizogna Mosk on the now. Level 10, right?
We're level 10 now? Yeah. Level 10, lucky Druid
Cleric. I got my ability score, so now I am lucky.
I got that feat. Wait, did you take another level
in Cleric or Druid? Yeah, so it's 4 in Cleric,
and that's where the ability score improvement
came from. Okay. So I took the lucky feat. Okay.
So, fuck you. um four actually it's four um fun
false fact about nicks is that he actually used
to uh used to own a restaurant and it was called
a really good chef by the way really good chef
it was called short tempered i don't know if
i use it The downfall of it was they only hired
part -timers. Short temper. They're there for
a short time and then gone. Yeah, they always
have a short staffing issue. They don't really
stack up. This is Jalen playing Nyx, the barbarian
fighter. Level 10. Level 10 barbarian fighter.
For Haru, and his false fact is... The reason
why he's having such a hard time deciding whether
to be more of a monk or a fighter is because
he's been really staring at these underground
fight clubs. And he sees all the hand -to -hand
combat in there. And his monk ways say, you know
what? I don't need to fight for glory. But he
kind of wants to dabble into the fighting because
beating an ass is fun. That's a false fact. He's
a pure, sensitive beast. Beast. Uh, my name is
Mark and I play Rune Wen. Warforged monk, kind
of a baby, maybe a fighter? Who knows. And his
false fact about Franklin is that he's actually
been an organ donor for many years and has successfully
donated many organs, but he still has the same
amount in his body. That's not even false. I
used it. I mean, canonically, I ran a dubious
orphanage at best. You can mention that at least
once a session. Yeah, hey. I'm waiting for Gonzo
to introduce us to my orphanage. You'll find
the ruins somewhere. It's like, what kind of
monster could have done this? I don't know. I
don't know, but whoever did paid out insurance
for sure. Franklin's Pharmaceutical Farm. There's
a portrait. That guy looks kind of like you.
No, then. Well, anyway, this is Ben, and I'm
playing Franklin, and I'm a level 10 wizard,
and reality is starting to bend to my whims.
At least in game. And a fun false fact about
Yaharis is that he's just a guy. He's actually
not an elf. Those are clip -ons. He's, like,
a 40 -something -year -old dude who just, like,
wanted to go on an adventure and thought, I should
be a little bit more exotic so people pick me
up. That is absolutely a false fact. You're definitely
correct on that. I am like 120 and always yellow.
Okay. With a comb over. With a comb over. Definitely
false. Hello, dear viewer. I hope you're doing
well. But tonight, I am Yulhoris Sithrith, still
level 9, because... dnd beyond logged me out
and i can't get back in for the time being um
ranger and a fun false fact uh i'm also in the
lantern about lazagna is uh that he loves uh
just washing nothing but his butt in the river
uh he doesn't wash anything else nothing else
he even he keeps his shoes on when he does it
uh nothing else gets washed in the river but
his butt That is a false fact, because he actually
likes to wash his balls. I have heard lasagna
referred to as an ice cream cone. It's a package
deal. Goddamn right, it's a package deal. You
know, in honor of Gonzo today, I actually ate
a bunch of lasagna for lunch. What the fuck,
Gonzo? You have one job. You bring one thing
to this table, and you just need to bring a game.
Not the scenarios or the minis. Or literally
the fact that he brings the tables. Literally
his game. He brings the tables. You have one
job, Gonzo. Hey, Gonzo shouldn't have brought
us a level 10. It is to do everything, and you
fucked that up. Gonzo shouldn't have brought
us a level 10 before he fucked up. We don't need
a forgive. It's going to be a while for 11, so
we don't need a forgive. Now, Gonzo, what is
you wearing? You like that grammar, by the way?
What is you wearing? I mean, it depends on...
Well, I'm wearing these socks. They really grew
on me. It's a bunch of plants. Yeah, and it says
I grow shit. I grow shit? Yeah. Well, I mean,
you do grow things. I do garden. You do. You
do. It's important to have a garden. Yeah, yeah.
He's got a bunch of different types of plants.
Plants that you grow. Gardening is fun. Yeah.
Plants that you eat. I had to get rid of all
those agave, by the way. Yeah, how come? They
just do pots for too long. Damn. They just outgrow
it, type thing? They just sit in the sun for
too long. If you put them in the ground, they're
not going to survive. Yeah, if you put the pot
heads out for too long, the sun kind of will.
Yeah. That is true. That is true. That is true.
You really think about things. Yeah. You know,
they tell you that they don't need a whole lot
of water, and then sometimes you just don't give
them any water, and it's bad. Anyway, last time
on Dragon Ball. Well, before that, actually,
what is your real fact? My real fact is about...
Lasagna. Is he the bitch? No, I'm kidding. That's
canon. That's canon. Put that in the docs. Since
he helped his god achieve a goal of his, he gained
a new power now. Oh, shit. You'll know what that
power is on the next episode. You'll learn that
power real soon. It's a power of friendship.
It is a power of friendship. Uh, Tempest. He
believes in the heart of the cards. He does.
We kind of made some stuff up because I wanted
to give him something cool. He has like a new
healing ability, kind of. Alright, well the next
Lur... Who wants to recap what happened last
time on Dragon Ball? We did a fight. Wait, no,
I have inspiration, somebody else do it. Honestly,
dude, I'm blanking on it. I remember that we
had a big fight and that... Oh, okay, I'm starting
to remember. Do you want to take it? I mean,
I don't think much happened. I think it was just...
We had the big fight with the swamp lady. On
the way to the fight, we ran into this, what
was it, goblin thing? Some dude. I can't remember
what he was specifically. The man bat? Whatever
he was. It was like a guy. It was some guy. It
was a fellow. Yeah, and I got ready to kill him,
and then someone talked me out of it. Yeah, because
it was an unarmed civilian. It was a drow. It
was a drow. Well, I made one decision in service
to someone else. Immediately proven wrong. Never
going to do that again. People's got to die now.
Blame him, not me. Anyways, we ran into a guy
who was an unarmed civilian. Well, I mean, at
the time it wasn't. He did something. He tried
to help us find the lady, right? Or what did
he do? Oh, no, he tagged along. Oh, he just tagged
along. Okay. Yeah, he was just there. He tagged
along. Then we killed the furballed lady. After
we killed her, it turned out I was right to try
to kill the dude. Because he did something at
the end that I can't remember. Her body disappeared.
He was responsible for that, I think. You guys
also killed her chimera. Yes. Her chimera, we
took it down. And that was the last thing that
happened. He just kind of vanished. That's pretty
much where we end. We'll fireball the tree that
was there. Good job, Daniel. You get your inspiration.
Yeah, so you guys pick up in the forest. You
guys just saw that happen. And... Lazagna had
incinerated the tree that the person disappeared
behind. Would you like to check the tree? Check
the tree? Yeah, that you incinerated. See if
you have any clues. Sure. Go ahead and roll your
investigation. Uh... It's probably not going
to be good. It's a... Seven. I cast seven. Yeah,
on his way there, he trips over and he's like...
You see him going to investigate the tree where
the figure disappeared, but he kind of just tripped
over his own feet. Well, to be fair, she didn't
go into a tree. No, the person who disappeared.
Oh, the person who disappeared. Yeah. Oh, that
person. Behind the tree, yeah. So you don't know
if he went behind the tree because you incinerated
it. Does anyone else want to investigate the
area? I suppose I will. He stumbled a little
bit. Eight. Would someone else want to help him?
I can't. Is it an investigation roll? Yeah. Try
it this time. Guidance. My bad, I shouldn't do
that. I forgot I have that. 25. All right, yeah,
so they're kind of looking around the front of
the tree, and you're just like... You guys are
dumb, and you're right behind the other side
of the tree where you find pieces of what remains
of a body that looks like the guy you were talking
to, and you kind of search the cloak, and you
find a tattered gold necklace. A tattered gold
necklace. With an O on it. Okay. What you got
there, Franklin? I found this medallion. Yeah,
it looks like the robe of the person that you
were talking to that they were wearing. Does
the O, and this is going to sound stupid, because
you know the Q that we got from the information
broker? It was a Q, right? Does it sort of look
like anything like that? No. No? Okay. Well,
God, I'm still upset, guys. I'm fucking upset.
What the fuck? We killed that bitch and then
they was like, nah, she ain't dead. That's some
bullshit. Well, I think that there are two possibilities
of where she got carted off to. Either to that
village that... He was talking about earlier
coming from, assuming that, well, there's no
assumption. It is in this area. We've seen the
map. Or she got taken deeper into the forest
from where we came from. We're pretty much at
the center, though, right? Yeah, you guys are
close to the center. I mean, Horace does bring
up a point, though. I think we need to still
check out that village. Has, um, since she's
died, has it looked like the forest has, like,
changed in any way? Uh, I mean, so the actual
trees themselves were drained, like, of their
energy, so they aren't changing right away because
they still took, um, but, I mean, overall the
forest seems a little more lively. Like, they
kind of, you know, at first it felt like everything
was kind of staying away, but it sounds more
lively, like, creatures are stirring around now.
Okay. Was there any way to... I mean, not full
out track where she went, but to get a sense,
like, magically what direction she went. Like,
you know, cardinal, compass, whatever directions.
Yeah, roll me an arcana roll on the spot and
see if you... Got it. That's a non -natural 20.
Yeah, um... With this powerful magic you assume
that it's somewhere near it, but with the level
of magic you saw I could be anywhere So this
is a she's a human or technically correct. Mm
-hmm. Well, that would mean she's a Well, I also
have on that true so favorite enemy I have advantage
on survival checks to track your favorite enemy
as well as in checks to recall information about
them. Yeah, so I'm going to do a survival to
see whether or not I can track her down. All
right. All right. That was advantage. So either
that or... All right, so... One sec. I could
take it and get 10 feet. 19. Is that the fighter
one? Yeah, so you go up to the spot where, like,
you feel like, um, where she was, and you kind
of feel like, like, the aura all rambled. Once
you get to that spot, it just disappears. So,
you know, it's something unnatural. I feel like
we did that before we sponsored the deals. We
should get an intimidation check. Yes. Harun,
where's the, do you know where the city is? You
got it on your map? Yes. I think we should probably
just head to that city. Wait, which one? Uh,
the city where the scout, quote unquote, scout
said they were from. I don't remember. Oh. What
was the name? Did you guys remember the place
you're going? History check. Yeah, go ahead.
If I show him my map with a list of cities, can
I give him an advantage? Yeah. Do you remember
which one? Okay, I'm going to show him the map.
Well, it's 17. Yeah, you remember it's Olaf.
Olaf. Olaf, okay. I don't know if I have the
Onoran maps. You don't, but you were told where
it was. Oh, okay, I can figure it out. That was
the village you guys were set to look at. Right.
Or, wait, is anybody still hurt from the last
fight? Because we didn't rest at all. my phone
reset, so I know I was hurt, but my shit came
back to normal. Before we started, I thought
Ron just said we long rest. Should we long rest?
You guys are going to get to the village in long
rest. But as you guys are going through the forest...
Just curious, for your game, leveling up doesn't
mean all our stuff resets, right? No, you guys
are about to go long rest. As you guys are walking
through to get to the village, go ahead and roll
a perception check to see if you guys notice
anything. Guidance. To yourself. Yep. He likes
to touch himself. I'm not perceptive. Uh, dirty
20. I rolled a 2, and it turns into... 12. Alright,
so, um... Everyone's kind of, like, looking around.
Not really, like... in one of the trees and then
on the ground close by you notice like tattered
um cloaks similar to the one of the person that's
down i'm gonna go investigate yeah so um go ahead
and roll me an acrobatics to find the tree to
get the one that's up there all right can i give
him a boost to try to help him yeah you can But
yeah, you also notice like a shine up there when
you hear it. Did you know you wanted to just
do your thing? No, I was just remembering when
you dropped the meat. 13 for acrobatics. No,
you got advantage. Remember you and me were trying
to carry the meat in? Oh. I rolled two 11s. It's
still a 13. So you kind of start slipping, but
as long as it helps boost you up and you kind
of... It's not too high up in the tree, but it
looks like there is some like blood in the cloak.
It looks like it was torn apart. But you do notice
that like... around one of the branches is a
necklace, a gold necklace as well. Is it also
an L? Yeah, an L as well. It looks similar to
the one that he had shown you. I'm going to take
it. Remember how the guy had told you that he
went out with a scouting party and he had been
attacked? So you're finding more of the scouting
party. Well, I climb back down the tree holding
the thing up and I say, well, Found another one
and then as you're walking you can't climb down.
Oh, and there's no on the floor as well as you
find another necklace that like it's the cheap
look it looks like it's just like the The chain
part was torn off and there's still other blood
and guts, but yeah, you got two of those You
should put them on your horse, and then you'll
be two chains. Not before I know whether or not
they're magic. I used my magical. I was just
going to try to do it like a little arcana. We
have these two necklaces now, right? Well, three
now, because we found two. Oh, two. We have three
necklaces. Well, if we have somewhere where we
can chill for about ten minutes or so, there's
a spell I can cast to... Get some more information.
Well, I mean, if we want to just take a little
rest. They aren't magical. Oh, no. That doesn't
matter. Okay, cool. Yeah, so you guys want to
stop and do a little 10 -minute ritual break?
You can. Yeah. This isn't even a ritual. This
is just how long this all takes to cast. So,
just so that I have it clear in my head, the...
scout the drow scout who we were with in the
woods who took off at the same time as the witch
um there wasn't like a body or something like
that he literally we saw him take off right oh
no uh the body you found was him oh okay we did
find a body i wasn't sure if it was just a body
or if it was yeah it was him yeah you found the
body of him so what was left of him and then
um okay then can i have one of your uh those
necklaces yeah i'll pass it to you Cool. I'll
grab it, and I'm going to spend ten minutes casting
Scrying. The target's got to make... You can
see and hear a particular creature you choose
that is on the same plane of existence as you.
The target must make a wisdom saving throw, which
is modified by how well you know the target and
the sort of fits and connection you have to it.
I would say... I would say that... I've only
heard of the target, right? This isn't one I've
seen personally. Yeah. So they... Basically,
it's my DC minus one for... So 19 is what they
gotta be. Holy shit. Alright, they pass. Holy
shit. Well, actually, sorry. Uh, we went up a
level. Mm -hmm. So I shouldn't, or no, is that...
Yeah, yeah. So I think, I think they're good,
though. Yeah, 23? Yeah. Yeah. Um... Goddamn.
Okay. You try, but, uh, you try, you kind of
try to connect, but you feel something just...
Mm -hmm. Powerful. Hey. Yeah. Why can't you use
it 24 hours? Um, yeah, they aren't, they aren't
magical, uh, like you said, but they are... just
like a they're big they're just like gold necklaces
and All three of the all three of them had it
so you think maybe it's like a plan thing Yeah,
so you guys are walking through the you guys
make the village it's like getting close like
nightfall now as You know the Sun the Sun setting
at this point is you get to the village and you
see some Villagers are they're boarding up as
you see they're kind of like all loading up their
houses all the buildings have There's no windows
or anything everything's covered up and you see
like the last of the people crying They see like
you guys come out of the forest and they're just
running to get into the buildings We need no
harm I can assure you that Go ahead and run the
persuasion roll The Zagna is sort of good at
this. Uh, they're villagers. You don't know.
As soon as they pass you, you walk out. Do I
get advantage because I'm so cool? No. Oh, okay.
That's going to use your, uh, inspiration. 18
plus 6. 22. Yeah, you see, um, some of them,
but, like, uh, 24. One, uh, looks like a few
of them do stop and kind of, like, most of them
go, but there's, like, uh, three of them looks
like a... An older looking drow and two other
young emeralds go with them. They're holding
spears. The old man just has a cane as he's walking
forward. They don't look like they're... They
look similar to the other person you saw. They
just don't look quite right. They don't look
like they're naturally made like this. Okay.
They're holding spears and they look... They're
kind of all looking like Mount Everest. I'm just
going to look at them and tell them, like...
We're just looking for a place to stay for the
night. We have some supplies that we're more
than happy to give you for your help. But we're
just looking for a place to stay. The old man
says, Who are you people? The best damn thing
that's going to happen to your piece of shit
village. Yes. I am the Zogna. I am the leader
of this world. Ha! That's not what a folk hero
would say. That's not nice. You don't know of
y 'all Horus? We have a prophecy. It's foretold
of a hero and his group of idiots that would
save us. Well, look at your hero right here.
That's one of the idiots. I just want to say,
everybody look at your stats. Who's the dumbest
one here? It's not going to be me. It's not going
to be me. The old man says, we've been praying.
Which one's you got in mind? ROA, I think it
is. Fuck, it's been a couple weeks. It's been
like a month. It's been so long, Jesus. Hold
on. It sounds about right that it's ROA. But
yes, besides the point. Yeah, so they're like,
We've been praying to ROA for a miracle. ROA.
That's my god. And remember his saying. It's
ROA. Or the highway. Well, it's a shade, so...
Whatever. We all feel it differently on the other
side. The holy word impacts us different. And
then you guys, as you got closer, they are all
wearing the same little necklaces. They're all
wearing the same little necklaces as well. Do
you recognize this? I hang out with the necklace.
I sent my grandson and some of his friends to
scout the forest. Well, I'm sure they're fine.
We haven't heard from them. We fear they may
have been eaten or captured. Well, I can assure
you they have not been eaten. Well, considering
the blood on the necklaces. Do you... Well, this
is worth a shot. Do you have... Any belongings
of your grandson? His necklaces. We don't have
much here. We are very... Do you have a spot
where he brushes his hair? Asking for a friend.
We have a swimming hole, but we don't go anymore.
The fish, they aren't right. What about a rag
he washes his butt with? Um... He just looks
at you and just... What? Damn you, man. I'm a
wizard. Don't look at me like that. Franklin,
you could ask for a comb. I did. And then he
said, we don't have anything. You asked for hair.
Yeah, well, okay. Do you have a comb with hair
in it? I have my comb. My grandson uses it occasionally.
It's worth a shot. Yeah, okay. That's good. Let's
do it. Take me to your co, old man. He kind of
just hobbles real slow. He says, are you here
to help against the witch? We are. In fact, we
were fighting her not too long ago. We whooped
her ass. We did, but we're still currently on
the hunt. She was able to abscond, unfortunately.
Well, her body was. Right? Well, frankly, I don't...
No, he's Franklin. Yeah, that's right. That's
my brother. Frankly... That's my triplet. I don't
know what the hell is going on. Yeah, that's
fair. Yeah, the old man, he says, I hope you
can stay in my... accommodations today. We don't
have much here. We used to be a fishing village,
but the fishes, they're strange now. They're
different. Yeah, do they have multiple heads
and arms growing out of them? You mean fins?
Well, I guess arms do, maybe. I don't know, that
lady was doing weird shit. Knowing this one,
I wouldn't be surprised if there were arms in
these fish. Yeah, the fish are aggressive now
and monstrous. I bet they have a unique flavor
to it. Like, just the mixture. We stopped trying
to catch them after they ate five of our men.
Oh. Just go to long range. Wow. That took a lot
of men before you decided, whoa, this is dangerous.
Whoa, we should do that. Maybe it was a five
-man fishing trip. We don't know. What if it
was, like, two guys initially, right? You're
like, damn, okay. Two guys, one fishing hole?
Yeah. Three guys die. You're like, fuck, that's
five now. Maybe we should stop. And then they
go, we only have the elderly left. Lasagna, do
you want to cook some fucked up fish? Uh, yeah.
I would love that. Don't do that. That's sad.
What if they don't taste good? Well, that's something
that we can figure out once we kill them. You
have a master chef in Franklin over here. Well,
also, if it's mixed in with elf... Well, here's
the thing is that we'll cross that bridge when
we get there. If it's contaminated with actual
sapient creatures, we don't eat it. Us. In terms
of Elder and my band of idiots. It's when you
tap a tree trunk to get the sap out. Oh, see?
Haru knows what he's talking about. That's happening.
That's different. Nothing. What's happening with
you? This really is my group of idiots, isn't
it? Well, sir, I actually have a really good
idea, but it's going to require me to kind of
stay up all night to do. So if you could show
me to your house, I could get started on it,
and hopefully it'll enrich your village. We could
go to my house as well. used to be our church
oh that'll be perfect that'll be perfect for
this uh what i'm gonna do i feel like that will
amplify whatever it is yes so he takes you to
like um it's the biggest building that's in this
small village looks like it was a cathedral but
same thing all the windows are like boarded up
it looks like um they're trying to just make
sure that they're protected similar to the village
you have encountered this is our way church Yes.
As you walk in, you do notice some of the same
symbols. Everything looks like... Looks like
where there were pews, they're all gone. This
looks pretty much like a barren church now. He
looks as if we had to burn our pews with firewood.
That's... I mean, that's one way to stay warm,
but I wouldn't recommend that. That's not good
wood for that. That's all we had. We couldn't
go into the forest. Well... Here's what I'm going
to do. I need you to do exactly what I say. I'm
going to give you some gold, but I need you to
restore this church to the best it can ever fucking
be. Alright? And I'm also going to hopefully
give you guys some nourishment. Hey, cursing
is okay, Harun, in this realm. Then I'm holy
as hell. Cursing is okay. He's so fucking holy.
He said, why would we need gold? Harun provides
all we need. It's for the restoration of this
church. Quick question. Would you not have seen
your God would give you gold to do things that
you would need? Or do you think your God would
just, boom. Do something. We have plenty of gold
already. I think Franklin's dying laughing at
the thought of a starving village of old. Like,
the sickly and elderly having everything they
need provided by our land. I just want to give
you gold to restore the church. That's it. Like,
the money that I'm going to give you, make sure
this goes towards the restoration budget. That's
all I'm saying. We have plenty of gold. We just
haven't been able to leave the village. Okay,
well, I mean, that'll be solved. That's solved.
You gotta worry about that. So, what you need
from us is violence. Well, we need protection.
We haven't been able to get supplies. What I'm
hearing is an insurmountable amount of violence.
Which we can provide gleefully. Well, we killed
the witch. But we need to kill these fish. And
frankly, I don't think... That she's actually
dead. There's still something out there. She
has a thrall or some other acolyte of hers. Did
you... What was I going to say? Whatever, let's
turn it back. I was going to say something. He
was going to say something. So I'm going to pull
out 500 gold and give it to these guys. He looks
at you and says, no need. We have plenty. Well,
all right then. That's fine. I'll take it. As
long as Franklin doesn't take it. Yeah. And then
I'm going to light some incense. And then I'm
going to do crisscross applesauce. And then for
the next eight hours, I'm not going to sleep.
But I am going to cast plant growth. So for the
rest of the night, I'll be focusing on that.
I kind of want to boast up right in front of
you. So at the end of the eight hours, because
it's something that I could cast in action or
up to eight hours, but basically, I'll read it.
The spell channels vitality into plants within
a specific area. There are two possible uses
for the spell, granting either immediate or long
-term benefits. Okay, the one that I'm going
to do. If you cast this spell over eight hours,
you enrich the land. All plants in a half -mile
radius centered on a point within range, the
church, become enriched for one year. The plants
yield twice the normal amount of food when harvested.
Nice. Okay, yeah. So after the eight hours, all
your friends go to sleep. Well, yeah, I mean,
I know Yaharis. I think he was going to try to
go fishing. For those fish. Is it the middle
of the day or night time? Oh, it's night time.
You guys got to the village right before night.
Some night fishing? Do you guys want to go night
fishing? Yeah. Wait, all of us? Up to you. He's
doing his spell. I need to lay down. Yeah, you
guys can go fish in the morning because you guys
don't know where the fish hole is. Yeah, I also
didn't think about that. Mayor Franklin, you
did notice everyone's wearing their necklaces,
so it is... Oh yeah, no, I put on the necklace
of everybody else. Cool. Your song has a little
bit of blood on it. I just want to respect their
customs. Yeah, right, exactly. Respect them.
Remember their name. I mean, he'll tell me if
he thinks it's disrespectful. Yeah, so he uh
he was praying with you he's laying the There's
anybody else that would like to be sitting around
Yeah, harsh you want to go back um Well, yeah,
you guys want to go in the morning Because they
wanted to rest they wanted to rest up first He's
doing his spell and they're resting. Yeah You're
gonna spell all night. Yeah, and they get exhaustion
as much as I As much as I would like to go out
and deal with this problem... As much as I would
like to deal with this problem, I think that
it would be dangerous to go alone. I'd rather
be here for the night than deal with our problem
in the morning. So I've actually been a 24 that
you should be or something. Not that it matters
now. So I take the level of exhaustion. I'll
try to work in a nap somewhere throughout the
day. We'll see. We'll see where the day takes
us. You think you would feel exhausted, but for
some reason you just feel like you still feel
rested. You see the elder was chanting with you
the whole time. My bad. Our way and the elder
having a clutch. I was staring at you the whole
time. Roll me a D100. Oh, a D100? What dice?
What are my lucky Colica Moon dice? I think it
was these two. 58. Damn. Yeah. I'll give you
a band. I'll give you one more. Okay. Depending
on how low you get. Same fucking thing. 58. Son
of a bitch. You said those were lucky. What the
fuck? I rolled a 17. Oh. Yeah. You have your
inspiration. I do now. You can't get 58 three
times in a row. You can't get fucking 58. You
do explode. You want to reroll both dice? Let
me just. Hold on. Let me. Gonzo? No, no, I'm
going to keep the eight. Can he win? It's 88.
No, I'm not. No more. I've made it worse. No,
it's okay. I think I got one in the chamber.
You want to go again? Hey, how many times can
it go back? Yeah, do it again. gonna have an
eight minute is that good enough yeah we'll say
it's good enough yeah so you uh as you uh yeah
so the tree um the trees will uh come to life
as uh once you step outside you feel it but um
once uh you guys about say you do notice that
the trees look like rich again the ones that
were like withered like full life now and uh
what crops like they had like a like a little
farm area it looked like just like dry and hadn't
but now it's like green and looks like there
is like some sprouting there and like because
they haven't had stuff brother in a while it
looks like uh the environment had been um just
destroyed by whatever she had been doing kitty
kitty you're a chunky boy now what the hell is
gonna go out and uh he's gonna get a little small
tear in his eye as you uh you you thought you
would feel exhausted but then you you still feel
refreshed you feel you feel like you've rested
as you hear in your head um good job you are
the champion of nature and um just well odds
are evens odds all right um i was deciding what
you were gonna get so um the elder comes and
oh god comes It's a one -room house. And then
he arrives. In the church. So he, um, he says,
as part of our tradition of Arawi, some of us
like to tattoo our bodies with symbols to represent
our devotion. As, uh, he takes out, uh, what
looks like this, like, this needle with inscriptions
of, uh, of prayers to Arawi. As, um, he says,
the gods told me to bestow this upon you. How
big of a tattoo do you want? I want to get a
really big tattoo and then next to it just have
a tattoo that says small tattoo. So depending
on how rare the tattoo is, it depends on how
big it is. Common would be a hand or foot tattoo.
Quarter limb maybe. Uncommon, half limb. Rare
is one limb. You should do your whole back. Very
rare is two limbs and a chest or upper back.
Or if you want a legendary tattoo, it's two limbs
and a torso. It would be, I would say, like,
something on the back, and it looks like two
wings coming out, like an angel. Alright, yeah,
and then, um, then all across, like, your arms,
the other part looks like there's, like, vines
and stuff going across. Fuck yeah. As, uh...
Honestly, that's pretty sick. That's pretty sick.
As, uh, you've been granted the Lifewell tattoo.
Nice. From the Elder? Yes. Nice. Do you have...
I could make him forget he did it and have him
put another one on you. Like you wouldn't recognize
what it is. Well, no. Just do what happened to
the front and the back. Just lay on your back.
Oh, God. That would hurt so bad. Do it again.
Do it again. That's our first tattoo. Lay on
your back. In this world, you take a nap and
you're good to go. Oh, what is it? It actually
does something? Oh, I thought it was just a fucking
tattoo. No, it's a magic tattoo. Oh, shit. It's
super cool. Oh, nice. It's produced by a special
needle. This magic tattoo features a symbol of
life and rebirth. So you're resistant to the
chronic damage. And you also have a life ward
on you. So when you reduce zero hit points, you
drop to one point instead. you can use this uh
uh once you use this property can't be used again
until next dawn so once per day you pretty much
get uh life ward yep life ward and you also i
was literally just thinking about that spell
too and you also have to exist in the car that
means we could practice trying to kill oh no
we know kids once per day we can be like how
do you how do you find that It's bedtime. Sorry,
I was trying to find a cauldron to everything.
Just imagine you chopping him in half and he's
barely alive. Because necrotic, I feel you, that's
fucking big. The resistance to necrotic. And
the life form is really good. Oh, life form.
Haven't gone down yet, but... keep fingers crossed
all right you want to go down no yeah so you
guys are all fully rested now so make sure to
rinse it up yeah so i'll be arrested are you
still feeling fresh like you said they always
smell the guy questions is there any dragons
yes is that right well it has to be yeah so you
you sense uh how far is the radius of it I think
it's like something far out. I think it's 25.
That's far out, man. I didn't expect to get a
yes. It's like I never had to actually figure
this out. I've just been using it. It's 30 miles.
The distance and direction to the closest red
dragon within... 30 miles. So you get a ping
and direction. Yep. Distance and direction. You're
able to magically discern the distance. So, um,
the village is kind of like, so the morning area
is like on the opposite side of the river. So
you know it's coming from there. I immediately
take off. All I hear, all they'll hear is me
yell out to Arun. Arun! Dragon! You know it's
in the area where the mourning took place. You
remember what that area is, right? The mourning
land. Didn't we just come from there, though?
That's like the bad shadow land. That's the area
that the little dialogue, are you sure, pops
up. That's the magic Chernobyl. Can you tell
if it's coming towards us or not? No, it just
says the distance and direction. Yeah. This is
our first chance to go in after one. I mean,
we're going to have to first explore the Mournland
a little bit. How far away was it? Can we not
go in there? I thought we just can't go in there.
You can go in there, but... It's just dangerous
because it's full of shit, but at the same time,
we're also not scrubs no more. Yeah. Above table?
I think we're going to die. It's a dragon. It's
a dragon. That's Twitter talk. Nix, before you
go over there... Just remember, we had a quest
with a certain somebody. Nick, roll me a history
check. Yeah, go for it if you want to. Also,
we have to return our friend in the igloo. Igloo.
You don't remember the igloo situation with Mold
Earth? Oh, yeah, yeah. We have to go back and
get that guy and then take him. Take him to our
friend, the information broker. He can tell distance.
Sorry, I'm like this. Yeah, yeah. He can tell
distance. How far is it? That's what I ask. How
many miles out? At least 25. Okay. So, you know,
you would have to travel into the Mormon land.
All right. Dirty 20. For what? The history check.
Oh, yeah. You know, this is a dangerous motherfucking
place because this is where... You were part
of the war. You remember fighting through these
battlefields and seeing the monstrosities that
were through here. But, like, the land itself
isn't poisonous. It's just dangerous to walk
through. You don't know because everything there
is corrupted, so you don't know if you would
be corrupted if you went in there. Yeah, we're
fine. Yeah, fuck it. We're gonna get magical
radiation. Yeah, I'm running. Yeah. Bye! Your
tattoo will heal on the road. Let's go. Nix,
we got a mission. For what? The IB. Fuck that
guy. Yeah, but you got your special item. Let
me get my special item. Is that tattoo not a
special item? Yeah, but he said I would get something
from him. A tattoo isn't an item. Crazy above
table knowing you also got, like, an artificial
power. That's why I was like, man, tattooing
up, iteming up, what's going on? Also. I mean,
to be fair, he did say the, I mean, the information
broker would give us an item. He said specifically
to me, but if anybody would like an item, if
you don't, you know, have one, please feel free.
You're more than welcome to have it. I think
everyone has a cool magic item except for, wait,
because you have, you took Frankie's pants. I
have Ricky's pants on. I have the armor. He has
his really expensive cloak. But I mean, I think
he could have some other things. I don't know,
that cloak kind of goes great. That cloak is
really nice. But it was expensive. That cloak
was expensive. So it was worth it. I think that
we should stick around to try and help this village
out with their fish problem. You have a chalice
though. Yeah, I do have a pip chalice. But also,
to Yoharis, would you not say a dragon isn't
a worse problem than fish? A worse? I mean, a
dragon's a very... A dragon's out there, though.
It's, like, out there. It could live there and
be away from everybody. Red dragons are evil.
Also, I would like to point out, we haven't gone
far, right? I did this yesterday. It wasn't here
yesterday. It's here today. I can't just live
there. What, do you think it's getting closer?
I don't know. I would just go, yesterday, I didn't
sense a dragon. Today, I sensed a dragon. The
Mournlands is a very big area. I could just be
roaming around there. But there's obviously a
reason that hasn't left. Well, maybe, what if
we stick around for one more day, and if it happens
to get closer, then we'll be good. And if it
doesn't, because we gotta go. We gotta go back
and get the igloo guy anyways that Franklin did.
So we gotta go get that guy and see what's up
with him. Alright, so here's my official stance
then. I will stay one day and help with the fish
with the IV guy. If I miss out on the dragon,
that'll be twice in a row I got fucked over.
Once by him, then by you. I will be going by
my own rules if I get fucked over tomorrow. First
off, fuck yourself. Second, I didn't do shit.
So, I'll say today, but there better be a fucking
dragon tomorrow. Well, what if the dragon's gone
tomorrow? Then it's your ass and I'm doing my
own thing. Then we split the party. Split the
party officially. We can almost guarantee you
that that dragon is going to be around tomorrow.
If you can sense it 25 miles away now, the Moorland
is big, but it's not that big. I mean, it is
that big. It is. It's huge. It's like almost
the width of the whole continent. You don't need
to remind me. I was in the war. Yeah. The war.
But you didn't enjoy it like we did. What? I
was stacking green skin bodies for months. What
do you mean I didn't enjoy it? You were in the
war with Nyx. Yeah, that's my dude. 16 plus.
Yeah, so when he said had fun, you remember when
you were alongside Nix during battle, he was
always smiling when you guys were at war because
he got to fight and kill all day. Oh, Nix? Yeah.
Nix was always happy when he was fighting. I
just do a little cartoon bubble thought process.
It's just like a chibi version of him just going...
I can kill as much as I want. He's just shaking
with excitement. Just like roughing away the
thought. Yeah. Take this, mom. Oh, wait, who
heard that? My mother said, you the devil. Great
place to get out childhood traumas at Warped.
Not sponsored. Sponsored by what? Warped. Betterhelp
.com. You have your special ability of healing
them, too. You, uh... You can try to heal them,
too. Heal what? You can try to heal them with
your special healing ability. The fish? The fish,
the people, whoever. Oh. Well, is there people
that are fucked up? Yo, the entire village. Oh.
They all have, like, um... Like, they look like...
Like drow, but not like they're originally drow.
Oh. Whoa. Shit. Yo, they're not originally drow.
Are they cultural appropriating right now? Do
they have a certain type of face on right now?
They're in a drow face. Oh, shit. They're in
a drow face. That's fucked up. That's fucked
up. Not sponsored. Roll me a nature check. What,
racism? But don't worry. I drow. We'll stay here.
Natural 20. You can tell they were altered because
some of them look kind of misshapen like they
weren't this size and color before. Well, because
Lazogna's never really done this, done it before,
so I don't know if he really knows what he's
really trying to do. I feel like I would just
try to, like, touch one and then do, like, an
arcana check, because I feel like this is the
first time Lazogna was able to actually, like,
touch one that's, like, not aggressive. Yeah,
that was your natural. Oh, okay. And then you
see, uh, as you kind of start feeling it, you
see, like, your tattoos kind of start glowing
as you, uh... Oh, shit! Oh, is he in the amateur
state? Yes. As you see, um, like, the, uh, the,
uh, person he was touching turns back into his
original... He is a dwarf. He's like, oh, oh,
oh! He's a dwarf? Yeah, and he's kind of looking,
he's like, oh, my... He's like, my beard! He's
grabbing... I hold up a steel mirror that I have
in my, my bag so he can look at himself. He's
like, oh, oh, he's like, I missed my beard! He's
like... Turned back into a short person. He's
like, well now you won't be as short -tempered,
I'm sure. Yo, not cool. Just dissing this dude
after he just got back from being disfigured.
Not only is it sizeism, it's improper timing.
Yeah, and we all know that Nyx loves the dwarves.
In a physical sense. You got a sister? Let's
change her back. Nix is to dwarves like a Vietnam
War vet is to Viennese women. I don't think you
want to make that comparison. Nix is not a good
guy. I think Nix cares about consent. He got
real quiet. He got real quiet. Got real silent
on that one. A lot of dead air right there. This
is all make -believe, guys. I feel like Lasagna's
going to look down at his hands and be like,
oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my, our way. And
he's just going to go up and start just touching
everyone. As you see him, like, same thing as
laying his hands on them as, like, he starts,
you know, tattoo starts flowing. And some of
these people, like, they turn into, like, some
of them turn back into wood elves, dwarves. Some
of them turn into, um, uh, there was one, and
there's one person who turns back into, uh, Looks
like he was a bugbear, and he was just like,
oh, oh, oh. As you can see, all the fur starts
coming back. He's like, whoa. High five. As he
high fives, he's like, whoa. As in, there's a
few other ones, and then, like, yeah, the rest
of them, most of them, it just either dwarves
or whatever. Can there please be one that looks
disfigured and is a drow that you try to do it
to, but he's fine, actually? He's like, oh. He's
like, I'll fix you. I can fix you. There was
one guy who was a drow, but now he just. His
skin looks like disfigured. Now he's just the
original color. So he's like, oh, oh. All right.
Well, you still kind of look the same. Is that
everyone? Is there anybody else that I could
help with my hand? Give these hands a good ring?
No, the villain's just kind of looking at you
and just like, as they kind of just bow to you
and say, the old man says, the prophecy was true.
He's now like an old, like, wood elf. You don't
need to bow. You don't need to bow. Can I illustrate
a hymn in the middle of the process of healing
these people on some stock? You said you wanted
to do what? I want to illustrate. Yeah, you can
draw it. Roll me your sleight of hand to see
how well you draw it. I thought you were doing
a hymn and I thought Ben was the bard. I'm a
fucking wizard. That's 16. Pause. You said sleight
of hand? Oh, then that's 23. Yeah, you got it,
yeah. How much are you drawing? Just, like, a
couple scenes? Or are you just doing... I want
to do, like, a three -picture, like, story of,
like, I want it to be him and the people, like,
and they're praying to ROA. Then, like, I want
him to be, like, over them with, like, him, like,
glowing. And then I want, like, the people, like,
holding him up, like, as they return to normal.
And I want to, like, post it up at the church.
All I ask is that you just tell our story and
you stay strong. As he says, uh. You never told
them who we were. I did. I said, uh. The war
dogs. Oh. I mean, him and the elder were talking.
I am the leader of the war dogs. Him and the
elder were in the church for like the entire
time. He would believe it. Yeah. I feel like
though. The leader is wherever the situation
rolls. Yeah. You know? Yeah, we get around a
whole bunch of Warforged. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like,
we're on a lot of machinery. You go over there.
As the, uh, yeah, so he, he kind of just, uh,
you know. Fighting me. Fighting me. He grabs
your hand and says, I knew you were the leader
of Warforged holding the prophecy. You and your
war dogs. Oh, yeah, we are the war dogs. But,
uh, I mean, I wouldn't consider myself a hero.
We are all the heroes we all put in good work
to take down the witch. You're a hero to us.
Well, thank you. And I give him a high five.
He comes limply and then, uh, he says, Would
you still like to look at the water at all? See
if you can work your magic there. Oh yeah, let's
go get these fish. Any ones I can't fix, we'll
take them out. One of the younger wood elves
that was there accompanies you. And he says,
be careful, these fish, they're big. I'm just
going to try to touch the water. I'll go next
to you. So you're putting your hand in the water?
Does a 16 hit you? I think that is my armor class.
I think it is. So we'll say yeah. Alright, you
take 8 damage. Jesus! This fish probably like
the size of Nick's. Jesus! It's not that big.
Just kind of chomps and like like, grips, like,
like, half your arm. As you're just like, what
the fuck? As this big fist just grips onto your
arm. Can I hit it with a long sword? Yeah, as
you see, uh, it's hooked into Lazaga's arm right
now. But before... I want a stunning strike hit.
I just want to touch it. I guess you already
are. Yeah. As, uh, yeah, you're just like, uh...
Oh, yeah, can I, like, squeeze it and then get
my tattoo magic arms going in there? Oh, I see.
You see it biting into you and then you see it
starts to shrink and then it turns into, like...
A regular -sized carp in your hand. But now it's
stretched out over your hand. Hey, look what
I caught, guys. Look what I caught. And it's
just like a decently -sized fish, maybe like
about a foot -long fish, and it just looks like
it's back. Lasagna, don't they call that noodling
where you're from? I'll show you what noodling
is. I don't want you to. Wait, wait, wait, wait.
I have an idea. And I just, like, tie a rope
around myself, and I hand one in to Nix, and
then I jump in the water. Oh, Nix is immediately
game. I don't need to breathe. Are you going
in, too? No, he's holding on to the rope. I'm
holding on to the rope. I'm trying to find something
to anchor myself onto. Yeah, I'm trying to, like,
I'm trying to catch some fish right now. He's
going to pull them out. There are trees nearby.
All right, I'm going to try to anchor myself,
you know, like walk up and around, you know,
so it goes around the tree and I hold on to the
rope. Yeah. They're having too much fun with
it. You see, Nix, I knew you were going to have
fun with us. Harun, you get in the water and
then you see... It is a little murky, but you
see three big figures swimming towards you. Yeah,
I'm just... I'm just... I'm extending my limbs.
Let him bite me. All right, this is 17 at you.
No. What about... Can I let it? He's letting
them hit you. Is that different? Yeah, if you're
letting them hit you, they're all going to just
bite into you, yeah. Yeah, I want them to all
bite into me. As two of them bite onto your legs,
one of them bites onto one of your arms. Okay,
then my free arm, I want to do it like a think
-think. All right, I'm going... Can I try to
help him? ...to pop right and pull. Yeah, you
can help him. Yeah, he's doing it anyway. Yeah,
so... Do I take damage for this? Oh yeah, you're
gonna take damage. It's gonna be... It's gonna
be 23 damage. That's alright. For our old eyes,
you know. Thank you, sir. Getting to that age.
It's not bad for three separate giant fish. What
is your temporary HP? Of course. It was nine.
What did you roll for your strength roll? Not
for my strength roll, but for my wild magic roll.
I finally got a one. Who's all ten feet within
me? Wait, each creature of my choosing. Never
mind. Yeah, Lasagna would be within, because
he's helping you. Can I see any of the fish at
this moment? No, so he's in the water right now,
and it's kind of murky, because it's getting
harder to see, because he's thrashing around.
They're thrashing around, so it's harder to see
right now. Alright, well then I don't see shit,
but I still get my... Yeah, so go ahead and roll
your strength. Equivalent to your character level
plus the ability modifier, so whatever your character
level is plus one. I was just making sure because
I took eight damage, so I have three temporary
HP still. Well, I think it's equivalent to my
character's level. Since I still haven't been
able to level up yet, I'm pretty sure it was
going to be 10. You're leveled up. In our eyes,
you're leveled up. Okay. Well, we level 11, as
you know. Don't forget about that, though. You
have the 11 temporary hit points from... My bolstering
performance. Did you do a bolstering performance?
I thought it just happens. No, I have to do it.
It's like a thing he does. Like over a shortmester
or whatever? Yeah. Well, while we're doing this,
he does it. He does a nice bolstering performance.
Pull out Harun, like wiggling him there, and
he's like, keep it up, big guy. I'd like to imagine
Yoharu gets together for a morning breakfast.
For me, my vision of his bolstering performance
is like a sergeant or a lieutenant going into
a mission briefing. Like, alright guys, this
is the plan. This is how we're going to do it.
We're going to go in. We're going to be A1. We're
going to kick some ass. And we're going to get
out. You see... Generally, but what I've been
trying to do for every bolstering performance
is do, like, a different, like, drinking song
or shanty. Yeah, you, um... Yeah. You feel, like,
the tremendous weight of these things, but, like,
you're just, like, I need no vision. And you
just, like, you wrap it around your wrist and
you just give a pull and you figure yourself,
uh, it's wrapped around your waist as it, um...
You're going to take a little more damage because
you're getting tugged real hard. You're going
to take... It's not going to get much damage.
Let's see. You're going to take... Can I roll
a d4 for it? Yeah, go ahead and roll a d4. I'm
sorry, Fred. I shouldn't have done that. That
is three. Yeah, so you take three damage. You
feel this rope just pull you really hard as you
don't... Nick just got you. You just get flung
out of the water. I just come up, just land on
my back. You're flying through the air for a
little bit. You see Haroon fly out 10 feet in
the air as you pull him back down as he hits
the ground. And I try to touch the fish and get
him back in the water. Yeah, as you touch him,
they all turn back into regular size fish. Get
them back in the water. Yeah, and then, you know,
as you put your hands in the water, you feel
the tattoos kind of start glowing. You put your
hands in the water, and you feel like the...
It's taking a lot out of you, so you're kind
of feeling tired as you're kind of, like, healing,
like, the waters. Oh, that's fine. But it is,
like, you are feeling like... If that's starting
to work now, then I will do that the rest of
the way to kind of just heal the water. I feel
like the fish you did get are, like, starting
to chain reaction, but you're just finishing
it off. As you see, the water looks calmer now.
It looks like when you first were touching it,
it looked like it was kind of murky and dirty.
Now it's actually clearing up, and you can see
it's just this bright area where you can see
the fish are came to life now. Now that, that's
a nice little lake right there for y 'all. There's
going to be some fishing. There's going to be
some food growing. Got a nice little town now.
Look at y 'all. You see him look at you and just
immediately gets on his hands and he starts bowing
to you. He just says, you are the chosen one.
And then he starts bowing again. Get up, get
up, get up. High five, man. This was a team effort.
We are just people of our creators. Am I right?
I go, yeah, and I lean on your shoulder with
all my fish dents in me. And then I do the, and
I heal myself. Oh, I was about to touch you,
but. All right, so. That was much quicker than
I anticipated. We might still be able to close
the distance on that dragon. Oh, what about the
igloo? Oh, damn it. You can still fish if you
wanted to fish. To hell with that. I just wanted
to kill something. I didn't even kill anything.
That's because he wanted the peace war up. You
got my blood list. Still kill fish. They're fresh
fish now. It's just killing in a different way.
You guys head back to the village now with the
elf who's with you. He goes to the village and
he tells the elder and he just starts talking
about what he did as everyone kind of just looks
at you and they're all just like... And some
people just, like, start looking at you, and
other people start bowing. I'm going to just
do... Lasagna doesn't really like the bowing,
so he just kind of, like, every single person
that tries to bow to him, he just kind of picks
them up and gives them a hug. Mm -hmm. And you
see, when you start hugging people, they just
start crying. They're just, like, overwhelmed
with, like, he was, or are we provided for us?
He's just going to sit there and just soak it
all in. I would walk up and be like, yes, your
God did. As you see him standing there with the
belt just glistening around. I'm going to go
around with my chalice. And walk in front of
people. Not with my pin pad, but just the chalice.
And be like, offerings to your God. They start
putting gold in the cup. Cool. I'm just going
to walk in front of every person. Roll me a d20.
Two. You tried. Two bags of gold. I was like,
I'll roll a d20, but I got a five. You got seven
gold. Seven gold. Yeah, so, uh, the elder says,
please, if there's anything else I can do for
you. I mean, what, are we planning on staying
here one more night? Figure out about that dragon
cinch? If it's gold you need, we can offer you
some as well. I don't think we need any gold.
No. No, we have a long travel. He did say gold,
so. I'm good. I have money right now. Long travels
and great machines. Let's go do that thing with
Igloo. Well, Nick, real quick, how much gold
do you think you need? More. If you were to put
a number... I don't feel comfortable doing that.
Oh, okay. It's going to make him look like an
asshole. If you're not comfortable with putting
a number, then I think we should go handle the
Igloo. We'll come back to that number when we're
done. Okay, $5 ,000. That's ridiculous, Nick.
You asked for a number. They say, we could get
you $5 ,000. Oh, see. For the group. One, two,
three, four. We're all the leaders of our own
group. Five. Fuck. Sir, you could give my $1
,000 back to the church. Oh, shit. Just give
it back to me if you're going to give it away.
To the church. Fuck the church. Church doesn't
mean anything. Your $1 ,000 splits five ways.
Or, sorry, four ways. Are you insulting them
to say that they can't provide for themselves?
They keep telling you they have money. It sounds
like what you're doing. I mean, it makes sense
what they're saying. Like, yeah, they have money.
It's just they can't get anything. So that makes
sense. But still, I'm trying to help. The question
is, where did this, like, podunk -ass town in
the middle of nowhere near the moorlands get
all this money? Probably were trade fishing,
like, really. Yeah, I imagine. Actually, simply,
they probably did have a surface line. I think
there's a main river that flows from the north
to the south, right in the Mournland. If they're
in Cahoots of the Dragon, they all need to go.
The whole town is in Cahoots, and this is all
one big trap. I imagine that these guys were
pretty well off before, and gold doesn't expire.
Yeah, but you know who likes gold? Dragons. I
mean, everyone, like... Really giving up their
gold as much as possible is like a safety measure.
So here's one thing that I did think about, though,
Harun, and I mean everybody, if you have an idea.
If I touch this guy in the igloo, he's going
to change back. But we need him for the information
broker. Then you don't touch him. Above table,
why do we need him again? The information broker
wants him. He wanted one to study. Then why don't
we just... Why do we need him? We can't find
another one? You guys killed most of the other
ones that you guys ran into. The witch isn't
gone. We'd have more amalgamations, right? Or
is it a person amalgamation we need? Well, I
mean, we were trying to keep one alive for him
to bring one back. Okay. I'm just saying that
if we do this, like, I can't touch him. Because
he'll change back to normal. No, you can't purposely
touch him. Like, purposefully. You can probably
touch him as long as you just can't feel real
great about it. Nix, you said 5 ,000? Yeah. Yeah,
as the village elder says, it's the least we
can do for our heroes. Thank you. As you see
the two elves that are next to him, you turn
and you see him, they run off towards the church.
Should they give me the 5 ,000? Yeah, they come
back with a chest full of 5 ,000. i go out one
thousand one thousand well it's it's not it's
not it's not all gold there's like uh there's
also like diamonds in there so there is like
a about two thousand in gold coins and then the
rest is just like in jewels okay i actually i
will i'll take that i'm just kidding i'm just
kidding of course you're gonna get a cleric yeah
that's it so do you want your thousand in diamonds
because it's two thousand in gold three thousand
well see how many diamonds are there there are
uh There are four diamonds in there, so... How
much are four diamonds? Well, two diamonds...
They're each worth about $300, so... Oh, $300?
Oh, okay. So... Because you need a $300 diamond
for certain things. So, what I'm hearing, Claire,
is you can have your share in diamonds, or you
can be generous and give it all away to the jerk.
Would you agree? I'll take my share in diamonds.
Okay. So you just join us. It's good to take
money from people. It's fun. As the church elder
says, it's the least we can do for you saving
us. Well, this is good. I'm going to use this
to save these guys. Nah, I'm going to live forever.
You say it was four? Yeah. Four diamonds. Yeah,
so you got four diamonds. It says it's worth
5 ,000, but you just said it's worth 300. Yeah,
I just said 300 because that way you know you
can know. For in -game stuff. This is kind of
right for real fire. Yeah, cool. I just wanted
to make sure because I don't want I hate when
you're like Oh, I gotta break this time or I
gotta waste this time into Anyways, yeah, so
you got your diamonds. So you know the rest of
you guys get your uh Your uh, so there's two
thousand and gold pieces So if you don't take
gold you can take some some other jewels that
are in there. So depends on how you guys want
to split it. So I Think Franklin's gonna take
the jewels because I know he likes his jewelry
Yeah, so you got a thousand in various jewels.
So there is a... Is that all the jewels? Huh?
Is that all the jewels? Or he just got a thousand
of the jewels? Yeah, he got a thousand worth
of the jewels. Because there's two thousand in
gold coin, and the rest was a... So there's two
thousand in jewels, and then a thousand in diamonds,
and then a thousand in gold. So, you know, you
reach the other thousand. I like some jewels,
too. Alright, yeah, so that means that Nyx and
Bahar have to get a thousand in gold pieces,
and then... Yeah, so you got your jewels. There's
some emeralds. There's sapphires, rubies. Is
there any... No, I don't see them. Just sapphires
and rubies. So, Franklin, you got some sapphires
and rubies. Cool. All right, Nyx. You happy?
You got some gold? I'm very happy. You got diamonds.
I got gold. We're going to return this guy in
Igloo. Is this... By the way, this information
broker guy is as badass as he says he is. Why
doesn't he just show up and get the guy right
now? He says he's a broker. Why doesn't he just
get him? Why don't we just vote for him? Can
we get a pickup on some? I don't think he's that
powerful. I think, frankly, we're going to beat
him in 1v1. Let's ask Harun. Harun, do you think
he's very powerful? Who? The information broker.
Oh, yeah, he flipped me real high. He sends you
to space, doesn't he? Yeah. Is that somebody
you want to mess with? I don't give a fuck. He's
done that to multiple of us. He did that to me.
He did it to you too? Yeah, he did. Oh, shit.
Harun's just the one that likes it. I'll never
understand why. I'm assuming we're doing this
while we're walking today. Yeah, you guys are
just walking. Yeah, you guys said your goodbyes.
You got your money. For saving the village. Yeah,
you guys are walking back. Roll me your survival
to see if you can retrace your steps to where
you left the igloo. Can I help you, Horace, because
this is his favorite terrain? He gets advantage.
Oh. Yeah. I'll just roll. 23. Oh, yeah. Oh, can
I give them, like, a pound of grain, though?
I know some of their plants started growing again,
but they might not have, like, fresh seeds, so
I'll give them, like, a pound of grain. Yeah,
you can do that, and then they can get more than...
18. Okay, yeah, so... I got 27. You hope... For
what? A survival to get back to the igloo you
left. Well, I don't know where it is. Yeah, you
guys can get there. You can roll survival 2 if
you want. Oh, yeah. 23. Yeah, so everyone gets
there. Franklin was going to look, but he sees
all you guys going in the same direction. He's
like, well, no more brain power needed. A good
leader lets the other people do their thing.
That is true, though. Above Table Wife, what
was the motivations for hanging out with us?
For me? Yeah, what did you out loud say? Because
I know there's been some side talk that we don't
know about, but what did you out loud say was
the motivations for just hanging out with us
since Frankie's been gone? It's probably after
those guys. The people who took out Frankie.
Which one took out Frankie was the witch? It
was the cloaked figure. The cloaked figure with
the Goliath. The big evil sword guy. They're
all related. They turned him into a zombie. He
took out Franklin's flesh and blood. Is it because
you want revenge or you just want to have another
way of proving you're better? It could be both.
He's like, what am I going to prove? He's like,
I'm still alive. First things first. Murderer
shut out everybody who looked at him. You look
at me wrong, I'm killing you. Oh, no, no. I didn't
say wrong. Trust me, I have a way of knowing
these things. If you look at him wrong, it's
even better for him. Yeah, so you guys are walking
by. You get to the igloo. You see chunks of it
are eroded as you see the creature's been chipping
away at it. But it's not done, right? No, there
are chunks as it's still trying to escape. Look
at it. Maya got tired out. But there's like chunks
of it that have like... How are we supposed to
transport this? Are we trying to do the shock
manacles? I'm going to... Hey, Nix. Yes. Um...
Oh wait, never mind. I don't need you to. I was
going to say force it to look at me, but it doesn't
need to. I'm just going to look down on it in
the little air hole or whatever we left. And
I'm going to spend a minute casting Geass. So
if you would please make a wisdom save against
DC20. I rolled a 1. Fantastic. So I'm going to
tell it, follow me, calmly follow me, and do
as I command. And yeah, that's his command for
the next 30 days. You guys can, I don't know
who, I think that was you, right? Yeah, that
was him. Yeah, so you can, you can, yeah, you
see, uh, Frankie just, uh, Frankie Franklin just
get rid of the earth, like, surrounding him,
and then the creature just calm as he's staring
at Franklin. Mm -hmm. Can you just dispel the
earth, or do you get the mother again? Um, so
he's, he's, uh, he's charmed. So, theoretically,
he could go against what I want, but every time
he does, he's going to take 5d10 psychic damage.
But he is charmed. Yeah. Interesting. So if he
ever decides not to, that's when he could take
damage? Yeah. That's when he will take damage.
Could he just keep choosing not to to kill himself?
It's only once per day. But also, he's charmed,
so it's not like he doesn't... It's not like
he's being... forced, if that makes sense. Like,
for the next 30 days, he's like my butt. Yeah,
yeah. He's still cool with you, but if he ever
thinks to not do it. If for whatever reason he
doesn't do what I tell him to, or whatever, he's
gonna take the night damage. Interesting. Yeah,
so, uh, it's just, as you guys start walking
back towards the village, and not the, but yeah,
back towards town, uh, just following you calmly,
not even really, as you see it kind of just walking
right by Franklin, like you would see like a
dog follow its owner. Alright guys, let's go.
Don't touch him. Lasagna, don't touch him. Yeah,
you want to grab Lasagna by the wrist and, like,
put his hand a little closer to you. Yeah, I
kind of have to think of that, too. I don't know
if that's me or Arun. Probably me. Yeah, so you
guys are walking towards... You guys get back
to the... So as you guys are, like, crossing
the bridge to get back to the village, as you're
trying to figure out... Are we going to the village,
or are we going back towards Silverflame, right?
Yeah, you're going back to Silverflame. Yeah,
that's what I meant. Silverflame, yeah. That's
where the drop -off is. Is that where we originally
got the cart with the goblins? Yep. And we've
been back to Silverflame a bunch. Yeah, you guys
left the cart. But Sharn is where my sister's
at. Yeah. No, Sharn is where... No, your sister
was at a different place. Sharn is where you
guys started. Damn it. Where's my sister at?
She was in... She was in Carnath. No, she was
in Carnath. Carnath. In the big city in Carnath.
Yeah, right. Okay. She was in, um... I forgot
what it was. It was in Cork. It was in Cork.
Yeah, but she's in Carnath, but she's over in
Cork. Um... Oh, yeah. So, um, you guys get there
as you load the thing in the cart. You get to
the meet -up location as your owl, I'm assuming,
is back again. As you walk, you kind of get into
the same area you guys have found him as you
see the owl perch on the invisible spot. You're
like, oh, there it is. As you guys enter the
information brokerage building, it opens up for
you as you walk in. You know the creature in
tow as you the cart you turn around and you're
you're in the building with a creature in tow
as a Information broker you guys are like you
step into the area and then just transported
it to his office as he says Well, look what you've
brought me You know I had Franklin and say, uh,
sit. Um... Hopefully it just sits on the ground.
Um... So we've done as you requested. Obviously
we have, uh, this one here. And, uh, there was
talk of a reward, so... Yes. Would you like a
favor, or would you like compensation? I think
a favor means I have to come back to Silverflame,
so... One of my favors could be different. Oh.
Well, I'm not interested right now. As you hear
in your head, we can make a deal. We can make
a deal? You know his capabilities, so... I mean,
we are armed to the teeth, so I don't think we...
All of us are very, very well armed, except for
you. I was about to say, I have... I have my
grimoire in a ring. You have your what? I have
my grimoire in a ring. Now that you're more religiously
into it, roll me a grimoire. Is it a short for
two? That's kind of like your tattoos kind of
feel like a weird sensation when you walk in.
Eleven. Can you use longswords? You'd be surprised
if you couldn't. 11 plus 6. 17. Yeah, so your
tattoos are kind of feeling like a... Normally
when you come in here, you know your magic is
usually pretty subdued, but your tattoos are
still kind of like emanating. As in you kind
of feel like there's something clashing with
your power right now. Clashing? Yeah. It's probably
hiding them from Big Dog. Big Dog. It's our one.
Big Dog. Yeah, um... Frankly, just saying, if
you're in any favor for me. I could find you
someone. Yeah, but what happened to the thing
that you were getting? What was that? It was
a... But he handed him over because he's taking
the leadership role, I guess, right now. I don't
know. I will say, like, that tattoo is pretty
funny. He says... Well, last time he said that
he assumed Franklin was the leader of the group,
so... That's right. As far as the information
broker's been concerned, I've been in charge
a little bit. I think Franklin would take compensation
because I feel like... asking for a favor is
asking for help, and I don't think Franklin believes
he needs it. Yeah. Does anybody else need anything?
I am armed to the teeth. What about another ring
of protection for you, for your AC? If I get
something good, you can have mine. If that's
what you're after. Yeah, well, then I would owe
you a favor and I'd rather you get a favor from
this guy because those are worth more than their
weight in gold. Nah. I know better than to take
favors from fairies. I'm not a fairy. I'm a half
fairy. And a half elf. Oh, there it is. There's
the truth. As Frankie liked to say, ladies say
I'm all man. Zogna, stop giving him ideas. I
will take the compensation, please. Alright,
roll me a d6. I got a 4. Alright, multiply that,
so you get 4 ,000 gold. As you say, I'll take
the compensation as a sack of gold just appears
in your hand. Is there anything we needed from
the information broker? As far as info or other
stuff at this point? I think we just needed to
get our dragon. That's exactly what's going to
be my question. This guy right here, I don't
know if he's been trying to compensate about
something. He's been really aching to get a dragon.
Is there any one of those nearby? You know the
answer to that already. As he looks at Nyx, he's
like, you see that glow in his eyes? Just saying,
is there one nearby, nearby, or kind of nearby?
Well, one's been summoned nearby. Summoned? Summoned.
Someone summoned a dragon? That's all I know.
I would need something else to... refresh my
memory. You have the fucking living chimera,
bro. Yeah, and you were compensated handsomely
for it. I wasn't compensated. This fucking greedy
asshole's gonna take every penny of that. He's
the leader of your group. No, he's not. I never
voted for him, man. No one voted for that. Boy,
no one did. Yeah, you voted for him, not Roan.
You guys voted for this last time. Yep, that's
right. Well, I didn't vote for him. Democratically
elected. Damn it. He won because he had two votes.
Everyone else has won. Actually, I voted for
Yalharis. Let's be clear. Yeah, but Yoharis is
too selfless to vote for himself, so he voted
for you. So moot point, I still gave it. All
of that nonsense aside, we do need to know who
summoned a red dragon. So what is it that we
have to do in order to figure that out? I mean,
if you guys are annoyed with the money, we could
also just trade in for a favor with that. I didn't
know that was on the table. The right dragon.
I figured we had a beat on where it was at. Oh,
I know where it's at. I just wanted to Google
something. Actually, you know what? Fuck this
guy. Dude, it's really mannered. Let's just go
kill a dragon and then go save Shark. We don't
have to fix every problem. That's right. I'll
feel an obligation to fix most of them. Do you
think if we go to find it, we have a chance of
surviving without your information? The guy selling
you heads on it isn't going to say no. He thought
about it. I mean, this guy is pretty honest.
Franklin, in your head you hear, probably just
you. Yeah, we're good. All right, cool. Let's
do it. Let's do it. He said for sure. I didn't
hear anything. That's a man that's confident.
You can tell by body language. Haruna, something
you'll learn as you get more in tune. As soon
as he says that, we're fine. I'm going to roll
to see if he's bullshitting us. Roll me the insight
on Franklin. I want to do insight, too. Oh, I'd
love to. Oh, no, I'm talking about all the information.
I'm not rolling shit. Franklin's the one that
said it. Uh, 15. So I cast 7. I got a not natural
20. Just curious. Didn't I have something that
made me good at lying? No. Was that with Frankie?
Yeah, it probably was. No, it definitely was.
I got one special ability from you for whatever.
Oh yeah, that was Frankie. That was Frankie.
I got 23 on insight. But yeah, you voted for
me soon. Believe me, Haroon. If you tell me that,
I'll just choose to, but can I at least know
for a brief second? Yeah, you know for a brief
second that he's got it. For a brief second,
and then, I don't know if I can, whatever, I
don't want to roll for it, but I don't know if
I can clock it or not, but if I can look at Haroon
and be like, I just need you to believe in me.
If he said that, I'd be like, he's never seen
me wrong this far. I'd be like, oh, honestly,
I just need you to believe in me. I'd be like,
He's being so vulnerable. And I have compassion.
And then I turn to Nyx with my body facing completely
away from her and go, wink at him. We're good.
I'm only a little happy. I'm like, yeah. All
right. Off to the dragon. Fuck this guy. We're
done. We'll never see you again. It's a responsible
thing to do. And walk out. to take care of this
problem. Well, I know it's a responsible thing
to do. I just want to know if that responsibility
is going to get me killed. No, I mean, look at
this body language. He seems confident. Either
way, they'll think about you forever. You try
to get out, but you try to push through it, and
it's not working. He says, you'll be released
once your leader says you're done. And he looks
at Franklin and says... Myself, I want to kick
on the door. Yeah, there is no door. You're just
trying to kick. There's just a wall. When we
go. They're launched a thousand feet into the
air. Can you do the thing? Can you plead? He
looks at Rangleton. Is there anything else you
require of my services? I don't think that'll
be all. Harun wants to do his thing. Franklin,
you'll hear in your head. Be weary. Cool. That's
where the meat should go from. And then he says,
remember, if they get Haroon, just make sure
that... Oh yeah, I'm ready. Thumbs up, Haroon.
And he's saying that all in his head, right?
Yep. Yeah, that's an unprompted thumbs up on
our own. He would give you an immediate thumbs
up back. He's like, God, I think he's being so
nice today. Man, Frankie's just really awesome
today, guys. I'm just scowling at Franklin. I'm
just really channeling my brother right now.
But no, I think that is all we need. Is there
anything else anybody would like to ask? No.
I want to get the fuck out of here. I'm going
to be kicking on the nothingness. What do I have
to pay or do in order to find out who summoned
the dragon? You could either do a service for
me, or you could pay me with something valuable.
Well, gold is valuable, but something tells me
that you don't want that. Information and favors
are always preferred. If you would like to tell
me about your, uh... How you got here from the
Feywild. That's not a very interesting story.
I just want to know what path you took to get
here. I could tell you if you're that interested.
It's a very short one. When I found out from
others that the world was in jeopardy, I decided
to leave. I left behind my entire life. Everyone
was telling me not to go. They said, now what
in the world would you want to do in the land
of mortals, in some realm that's so far beneath
you? I had a woman back home. She was the one
that was telling me especially not to go. I had
to leave. If I stayed in the Feywild, I know
that the world would have ended, and if it hadn't,
then I'd still have nothing to show for it. So
I figured at the ripe old age of 120, I'd go
off and see the world and I'd do my part. She
never forgave me for it. Now I'm here. Well,
have you ever eaten way back? Wait, Yoharis,
you're 120 years old? I'm a young buck, I know.
Yeah, but you said you left the... The Feywild
when you were 120. Did you just get here? No,
no, no. I must have been 80. The days sometimes
blur together. You know what happened? The war
kind of messed him up a little bit. Yeah, was
this False Valor? Did he not even fight in the
war? No, he was in the war. I was there with
you, you little fuck. Yeah, he was right there
with you. I don't know, man. It's all a blur
to Nick. I know. Some days I think I was speaking
Elvish. Some days I think you are. You know how
to speak Elvish. And I say that in perfect Elvish.
He's yelling at you in the language you don't
know. He's like, why are you doing this? Like
I said, sometimes I think I learned a language
at the time I think he was in the war. I swear
he drank that language away. You remember when
we killed all those goblins in that cave? We
rescued 19 of our own men. He was there. We were
all there. You were right beside me. He definitely
was there. I don't know about you. Franklin,
you shut your goddamn dirty whore mouth. To be
fair, you're an archer, so would we see you?
Or would you be so stealthed out and snipering?
I can also use short blades and long blades.
True. I have a dagger. I guess her room was kicking
too much ass next to me. A Warforged monk is
usually, you're going to be like, you're going
to remember that. So after knowing that information,
information broker, are you going to answer his
question of who summoned the dragon? He looks
at you and says, to Franklin, the man who killed
your brother summoned him. Sweet bed of revenge,
Franklin, if I've ever heard it. I heard revenge
is best served cold. You would know that being
a good chef, huh? Yeah, I don't serve revenge
at dinner. I'm not a punk bitch. It's usually
a breakfast day. You usually wake up and catch
a fade. Yeah. No, I like... Catch this continental
food. I start yelling at people to run the ones.
Catch the twos. Run them ones. Let's go. Wake
up, motherfucker. Wake up. Do you know what dragon's
weaknesses are? What? It's a red dragon. That
doesn't mean anything to me except the color.
Their weakness is... And he looks at Nyx. He's
Nyx. He's got a handle. Yeah, no, most dragons
are weak to me, specifically. He's going to try
to fuck that dragon. I don't even know that.
I'm going to roll a seduction roll. He looks
at Nick and says, Bring me back some of the dragon
scales and teeth, and I'll trade you for something.
All right, baby. Do we need tools for that? Tool?
No, he's too busy doing that. That's the only
tool that needs to do it. Is there any way we
could get a retrieval service to come with us?
Just to handle the logistics of getting the thing
back to you? A what? Oh yeah, do you have something
we could put it in? Like a drop box? Perhaps.
It just might be out of hand, but what about
just like a one -off scroll where we could just
like get the items? you know, the teeth and scales,
ship them back to you via scroll, like a teleport
scroll or what have you. Oh, yeah, like a pouch.
And then collect the reward the next time we
come in contact with you as we progressively
try to, I think we're trying to move south, right?
Or what if we just, you know where I kill it,
and then you mail me my reward, and you can have
a whole ass dragon carcass to yourself. He says,
the scroll's a great idea. As you're saying scroll
to scroll, you're like, huh. Can I get one of
those too, just in case we lose that one? Can
I look at the scroll? Can I look at the scroll?
What does it look like when he flashes it at
me? Magic. Is there anything I could copy? No.
Not for actual magical use, just for looking
exactly the same. It'd be hard because it's something
you don't really comprehend. I mean, I don't
have to comprehend something to draw it. That's
true. But it's hard for you to be able to...
I get it. Is this yours? I'm not sure if it's
teleport. It might be like teleportation circle
or some shit. Yeah, so I mean, basically you
said to... It's a little... It's a... It's send
it back to base camp. I know, but I'm just saying,
you know, like, you could, you know, figure that
out and do it for yourself. Oh, yeah, because
it's a scroll, probably. You invest the time
and money that I have. Yeah, you've got money.
Oh, yeah, so you guys are, as he says, he looks
at all of you and says, well, Thank you for that.
As Nick, you're kicking. You kick forward as
you and Harood are above the forest. Yeah! I
like shaking while we're falling down. Yeah!
He's just nonchalantly being shook. You see,
he's mad. He's trying to serve. Can I try to
serve him on the way down? If he's not reacting.
So you guys are, like, you and your cart are,
like, back to the beginning of the forest where
you guys were. So you guys got teleported back
to the beginning of the forest. As you were just,
like... Which, you know, it takes a lot of powerful
magic to be able to teleport all of you that
considerable distance in that many of you. So
we know how to take down a red dragon, right?
As a... Kill it? You got feather fall, right?
Or you got... I have slowed the slow fall thing.
How high am I? Just curious. Giraffe pussy. It's
pretty high off the ground, to be honest. Laying
down or standing up? You guys are 90 feet in
here. Oh, that's fine. I'm carried by a pterodactyl.
You're carrying Nick, so you got... Whoa, hold
on, hold on. No, the law of gravity shows that
weight does not matter. This is magic. No! This
is D &D, right? I think this is called some motion.
Yeah. Some D &D bullshit. Makes all the going.
Yeah, Nix, he's trying to catch you as you're
falling. Man, so, Nix, you're about to hit the
ground as you pop up next to Franklin. No. As
you're... You don't know if the information broker
was fucking with you, but you just... As soon
as you're about to splat, you feel like the impact
of the ground is you're just next to Franklin.
I leave. Look over at Franklin. I will give you
every penny I have ever earned if you help me
kill this man. Keep your money. For once, I agree
with Franklin. Is Franklin flirting? Keep your
money? And by the way, Franklin. Since I offered
something up to the information broker for you
to be able to get your revenge, as soon as we're
done with this task, what are your plans? Oh,
uh, well, I don't know if this is the same in
your corner of the Feywild, but the idea is that
you, when you're seeking revenge, you not only
take out the ones directly responsible, But then
you take it a step further, and all of their
acquaintances you also remove from the picture.
Generally speaking, yes. You don't need to tell
me about trees. You know about the other part
of that we don't talk about with the non -fave.
I understand. I just want a favor from you, since
I did something that is helping you out. I want
the assurance that if we end up parting ways,
that if we ever end up crossing our path again,
then everything will still be on good terms.
You feel better now that you're outside of it?
Sure. More than likely. I'm sure that would have
kicked back. Well, all right. Yeah, I do kind
of feel, like, strange, like, the effects of
being in there. You can roll me in either an
arcana or a religion check to see. I rolled a
22 on my acrobatics. I'd like to be falling and
then run down a trunk of a tree until I, like,
take the inertia out of it and, like, keep running.
That's a 20 right there, plus whatever my, whatever,
the dirty 20 just off of my guidance. That's
going to be a plus, like, four. Yeah, I think
it's, like, a plus five, but I'm proficient,
so it's probably six now. Yeah, so, um... So
you... So, um... You know that powerful domain
that you guys go in. It takes a very special,
powerful person. In order for something to clash
with your powers that your god was giving you,
it has to be at least the power of a god or equivalent.
Now, just out of curiosity, the information broker
spoke to Franklin last session, right? About
someone? Yeah. He hasn't discussed that with
anybody? Nope. Above table, he's doing stuff
for him, but you don't know that guy. You had
to ask while he was out in the room. Yeah, so
you know the information broker is quite powerful
in order to be doing all this. Good to know.
Good to know. We're still going to kill that
guy. I really think it would be a diminishing
return if we tried to kill the information broker.
I'm just kidding. The return I need is his death.
And if I have to give my life in return for it,
then so be it. Yeah, but if you die, how would
you know that it ever happened? I trust you guys.
Are you going to share that information of the
way you felt? With your party, or are you going
to keep it to yourself? I mean, I will tell them,
but I feel like that was kind of the same feeling
that, you know, Franklin probably had that same
feeling as well with his magic. But, you know,
like, the feeling that I had with, like, my godliness,
for some type of magic to be that powerful, it's
like, you know, another god type of magic. He's
very powerful. Yes, definitely really powerful.
I don't know if that... The magic interference
works the same for me, because if you're getting
yours from an outside source, essentially, like
channeling those powers, mine are more coming
from me. I mean, I studied, but they're coming
from me. I studied my powers. Yeah, not all of
us were just handed our things. Some of us really
worked to earn it. Well, some of us were chosen,
you know, so. Hey. Everybody's got to get chosen
at some point. Here's the thing. Let's put this
in the school terms. Not that you understand,
but it's a place where kids get educated. Like
a church. Yeah, so you know how the first kids
chosen for whatever sport you're playing are
the good ones, and the last ones chosen are the
ones who have to be? Well, there you go. I hope
that helps you understand how, you know, the
difference. I mean, the priests, The priests
in my church always chose me, so always chose
me first. That's a red flag. Did you talk about
something? No, it was great. I loved it there.
I mean, I can only change it if it's 24 hours,
but I can't modify it. God's work in mysterious
ways, and speaking for the majority of us, it's
not often that we're chosen as Coralon's favorite.
There are many of us in existence, but when he
does, you do know. Sure. Did you guys need to
get anything while you guys are in the village?
Because you guys are still late. Well, I mean,
can I... What is... What ability... I would have
just asked this, and maybe I can figure this
out with a roll. What effective type is weak
against fire dragons? Like thunder, lightning,
ice. Have you fought dragons before? I feel like
we probably would have encountered them in the
war. Or at least heard about them in the war.
Or, you know, heard some talks of fights of them.
Roll me a history check. See how much you know
about dragons. Alright. Can I somehow help him
with that? He is a ranger. I am a ranger. Guidance.
He does have quite a range. Is he helping me?
Yeah, he's helping you. Is there any chance I
might have studied something over time or learned
something? Can you use your... Was it a history
check? Yeah, history check. It was a 10. Want
more pits? Is that what it is? You want more
pits? Boy, why are you so scared all the time?
Sponsored. Get some weed to somebody? Yep. Redacted,
redacted. Redacted. Cut that, cut that. Oh yeah.
I just rolled an 18 plus. It's a 27 total. The
legend 27. Yeah. But for real, above table, what
is it? Is it like frost? I don't know if they're
actually weak to anything. I think it's more
the opposite, that there's stuff that they're
immune to or resistant to. So at this level,
they're probably going to be resistant to bludgeoning
slash and piercing damage just outright. Fire
dragon's probably going to be just outright immune
to any fire kind of things. But that fire red
dragon probably also means they're like... resistant
or immune to cold damage. A lot of times those
go together. I also heard above table there's
sometimes different temperaments to what type
of dragon you're dealing with and whether or
not they can be reasoned with or even conversated
with at all. Red dragons are not to be reasoned
with at all. Generally in D &D, the established
lore, the colors are evil. So, like, red, blue,
white, whatever, those are evil dragons. And,
like, D &D lore, so who knows for gods this game.
And then the... Bronze, copper... And then the
chromatic ones, your bronze, your gold, your
brass, those are the good dragons. Or at least
not, like... They're good aligned, they're not
necessarily doing good, but, you know. I got
the stats pulled up right now on D &D Beyond
if you wanted to know what it's immune to. Or
would that be metagaming? That'd be metagaming,
yeah. He got a better roll than I did. I got
27. What's this roll? A history about dragons.
I got a plus zero. I'm not going to get that
good. Really what I'm trying to remember about
is the ideal if there's anything they're weak
to but also maybe just like habits or markings.
Not markings but stuff we could use to Locate
it or get the jump on it. Does it have dinosaur
vision where if we stand still long enough can
it not see us? Does it have dino vision? It does
not have dino vision. It is really powerful.
Especially this one. If it was summoned you know
it must be a really powerful one to be summoned.
Sure. That's what I was scared about above table.
This thing was summoned. Not only is it just
like, oh, there's a dragon existing and we just
happened in its area. No, this thing was also
summoned. So add somebody strong enough to summon
this thing. Not even on our plane of existence.
You do know that you were calling the war as
you remember your horse's unit was specialized
in taking down winged creatures. That's true.
Distance attacks, maybe, like, to target its
wings would be a good idea. As you're kind of
thinking, like, wait a minute, didn't we have
a... You're like, I know the... I'm fucked. Nah,
nah. I was about to say, we gotta figure out
how to get up there. Yeah. I mean, that's...
You could... Oh! Wild shape, me animal, me carry
you. Well, I... Yes. Franklin, before you have
that idea, I also have an idea. Well, I'm just
trying to get whatever info I'm gonna get, and
then I can think about what it is. Yeah, so you
know that, like, um... like a distance act would
be would be work would work but like they are
resistant to a lot of magic so you you probably
need like some sort of like um incredible magic
power or weapons but you guys possess so i'll
tell you this next i'll i'll meet you in the
middle if you apologize um what do you mean for
one yeah i if i had a list of things to if i
had a pen A quill and paper. I could have written
down a list of things that you would have needed
to apologize, not only to myself, but everybody
else for. Because you've never done it. But what
I'm going to say is that I have this sort of
face step where I can get targets closer. Now
I can hit this dragon from a range with my bow.
But you know the most powerful weapon you can
use? Teamwork. The power of friendship! This
is Ben, not Franklin talking, but I literally
gestured to my head because I'm like, brain power.
Also, Franklin, I guess, would also be very much
on board. But if I can get close enough and you
are with me, I could get us potentially onto
the dragon. Also, you can make waffles in the
morning. There's no reasoning with these things.
You can do a lot of damage when you're choking
it out. Dude, champion babies? I don't think
that's how dragonborns work. It is now. Also,
just a thought. If it was summoned from a different
plane of existence, I have the... The answer.
I mean, it doesn't lend with us with dragon scales
and teeth, but I have the answer to a dragon
problem. Alright, I feel good about this. Noah
Franklin, I'm glad your brother died. Well...
What? He's a valuable member of the team. Haroon
attempts to backhand him. Don't worry, Haroon.
Are you going to let him backhand you, or are
you going to try to... I died. All right. Roll
me a dex save, and you roll me a hit. Ooh, that's
a 19. Yeah, that's why he's doing dex save right
now. Let's see. Also, that's 17 plus. Dex save,
it's got to be good. Oh, no. That was with my
advantage. So, yeah, I had 19 plus 8. Oh, shit.
Because of an arm strike. I thought you just
had a flat 19. No, I was 19 plus. Yeah, so you
think you're fast, and you're pretty quick, but
then you see Haroon's hand just catch you as
you think you're about to, and he just smacks
you. His face actually is as blank as you've
ever probably seen it when you make the joke
about Franklin. Go ahead and roll damage. Just
bam. All right. He does have the open hand, so
do you want to? Do you like the stunning strike?
No. That'd be great, a stunning strike, and I
start just going ham. With the backhand, dude.
Don't talk about my friends. He's like, wait,
hold on. I'm looking from watching you. It's
not just happening like this. He's like, you
told me to keep my backhand strong. Oh, shit,
I rolled max on that, so 10 damage. I literally
maxed backhand. You're not expecting this fast
backhand. You're just like, normally I'm backhanding
bitches. So yeah, his expression is blank, and
he says, don't talk that way about Frankie. Yeah.
Oh, I don't know if I gave you guys the wrong
impression, but we're going to resurrect Frankie
later, right? You guys are aware. Do you have
the ability to do that? Because we don't. I mean,
not yet. But really, I was planning on somebody
else just paying them some money and making it
happen. Well, I mean... You can always ask for
favors. Would he be a zombie? Oh, that's right,
because you banished his body back to his home.
Oh, shit, that's right. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Are you sure that he would... Actually, no, fuck
it. I think that it would be very funny to piss
him off by dragging his soul back to this plane.
We should do it. He would hate it so much. I
think he'd be fine, honestly. Well, I mean, he
would be fine because he'd be living, but I'm
just saying, though, he would, you know. He would
be living. He'd be living, living. But does he
want to owe you a favor? Frankie? I'm sure he
will at some point. Yeah, Frankie will always
owe me favors. That's why he's doing it. Oh,
no. No, I mean, I like Frankie. I'll bring him
back. Then I'll tell him how stupid he was and
that I could beat whoever beat him. Oh, that's
the long game, Franklin. Okay. Alright. I mean,
hey, if that's what you want, then let's fucking
do it. Let's add that on the whole goal list
of the team. Nothing quite like a sibling rivalry.
Yeah, I mean, they still all have to pay. Regardless.
Oh, yeah. I mean, well, I mean, we gotta kill
him. We gotta kill him, but... Of course we have
to kill him. The overall goal is to revivify...
Well, resurrect. Sorry. Revivify is too late
for that, but... Resurrect Franklin. That's cool.
That's cool. Not Frankie. Not Franklin. Yeah.
Okay, so you guys are in front of the woods.
You guys have had a discussion. And I think that's
a good place to call it. Yeah. Can we say we
put up a night? I was going to say, I would want
to put up for the night so I could recharge my
detecting. Yeah. So do you guys want to... So
it is like midday, so you guys can either...
Or you guys can always go back to the village
of Olaf where you guys had... If I have a vote
here, like what I think... What Franklin thinks
we should do is... Was it... Okay. For Gonzo
here, when you said it was 25 miles -ish out,
was it, like, village on the river straight that
way, or was it, like, off to, like, one side?
Village and then straight into the moorland.
Okay. Yeah. And do we want to... I was going
to say, also given his estimation how far it
was in my general maps, could I have, like, a
guesstimation for where he pinged it also? We
also have a river right next to us. Yeah, I think
the town would be a good one then. Yeah, we should
definitely go the whole way. I say also, if you
get your sense above table once a day, that whenever
we decide to go to bed or whatever... then next
day we get as close as we can kind of to that
zone and then happy ping it again. Yeah. Because
then if it moved, then we have another reference
point. Or if it's close by, then we're like,
all right, cool. Yeah. I can see you in the way.
Yeah. And then if we just pick up tracks, you
know, we'll find it. His favorite terrain is
fucked up. TNT Chernobyl. His fucked up Chernobyl.
He just finds a steaming pile of shit. Sounds
like a plan. We're going to town for the night.
I think this is a bracket. You guys get there
by night. The town welcomes us in open arms.
You see it's lively. Everyone is looking happy.
You walk in and you hear everyone cheering. They're
back! They're back! Yoharis is soaking it in.
Honestly, no, not with this one. I pat you on
the back, Lasagna, and I say, well, this one's
all yours. Now you're the folk hero. I'm just
giving them hugs. As you see them giving hugs,
some people are on their knees praying, looking
up at you. Get up. Get up. Get up. Get in here.
They just start kissing your hands, and you're
just like, oh my god. People are crying at the
sight of you walking in. I saddle up next to
your harvest and pull out one of the bottles
of the Dwarven Hooch and I'm just like... I pass
it to you. I just know that you guys like it.
Every now and then I'm like, ah? It's like catnip
for you. Are you sharing with Nick? I'm gonna...
I'm about to put the bottle to my lips and I
look at Nix. I say, you do realize that I was
80 when I joined the war, right? Is it this war?
We fought together. Or has all of the alcohol
and brain damage really gotten to you? Maybe
Harun's tweaking a little bit, thinking of the
fact that there's more than one war. Like, normally
he calms down, but he's like... So the war went
on for almost 100 years. Yeah, I mean. I don't
know what goes on with a wilds. A gonzo? I'm
talking about the one that we serve together
in. Could I start copying the spell from the
scroll into my spellbook? Yeah. It's just like
a spell for, you know, just teleporting like
objects and stuff. You have to be fucking kidding
me. I don't think it destroys the thing. Oh wait,
the spell scroll is destroyed. Above table, why
are you doing this? He doesn't remember. Because
CTE is, if I forget, elvish. Damn. So I was right.
Back in character. Also, I would feel like it
would be in character for Nyx to be hyper -focused
on the face -to -face conflict that him and Maru
were in. I'm just going to sigh and take a swig
of the dwarven hooch. before I pass it down to
you, I hold it above you and say, well, I guess
we're going to have to make some new memories
together then. I guess so. Up close. They're
going to fuck. Try to be more memorable. Shut
your goddamn mouth, Franklin. Oh, how embarrassing.
I was stacking bodies. Yeah, maybe you should
have been killing them still. Are you illiterate?
They made this guy the body stacker? Oh, he sucks!
skidding bastards. It's above table. That would
actually be hilarious in the war. There's like
a guy who's not a fighter, but is dedicated just
stacking the bodies of the fallen. I'm helping.
I'm helping too. The logistics guys really get
the short end of the stick. I don't know what
to tell you. I don't know if the body stackers
appreciate it as much as the guy who brings food.
Listen man, it's like a janitor. Everybody serves
their purpose. Can you log yourself a cabin?
The house that Jack built? You say you're gonna
try to copy the scroll? I was thinking about
it, but if the scroll might get destroyed, I'll
hold off on that. Is it like a skill check? Yeah,
I'll probably be fine. The DC is 10 plus the
spell is level. whatever the spell is right if
it's something like teleportation circle that's
only a five if it's something higher i was just
wondering because like i was going to say as
haroon he was already thinking about trying to
copy that just from an illustrator's point so
i was wondering if maybe with his like artistic
skills, maybe he could help you to make it easier?
Up to Gonzo. Because we've proven he's made some
pretty detailed drawings and even been able to
recreate things that only happen for a second.
So I don't know if maybe I could give him the
help action with that one, with that reasoning.
Can I cast Guidance? I would have to look into
that because that's a lot to add. Well, it's
a skill check. Yeah, true. But for guidance,
I mean, yeah, it's an ability check. It's an
arcana roll. Oh, yeah, because you're doing an
arcana to check to see if you fuck it up. It
is 10 plus the spell's level. So if it's like
teleportation circle, it's 5. That level's 5.
If it's teleport, it's like higher level. At
the very least, he has a shit ton of parchment.
So if you roll high enough, what, we don't destroy
it then? Either way, the scroll is destroyed,
but I'd have the spell then. Oh, okay. Might
not be bad, even if you decide to make it the
hyper -specific send stuff to the information
broker spell. That'd still be hella useful to
have a lot of times. You could have told that
guy, hey, stay out of the circle for me. go bye
bye he ever pisses off we can just start sending
like shit I was thinking about like mid combat
yelling Haroon low power move he's caught you
send Haroon back and forth he's like ahhh ahhh
The living dragon back to the Verbatim Burger
and let him deal with it. It all depends. I would
love to hear a dragon's perfectly cut scream.
Or, you know, it's like pitched down eight octaves
and it can break a window. Are we going to try
the check? I don't know. So are you going to
try to copy it? That was my argument, was trying
to help copy. So real quick, looking at the scroll
before I worry about copying and stuff, is this
a spell scroll of a specific spell? Is it of,
like, whatever, a D &D spell? Or is it a spell
scroll of does the one thing send, like, teleport
something to the information broker? Yeah, so
it's pretty much just for teleporting stuff back
to him. Okay. And then what level would that
be at? I want to say it's like a level 5 or something.
Okay. So that's 15, I have a plus 9, so a roll
of 6 or better with guidance would see it through?
Yeah, if you want to copy it, yeah. Yeah, I'd
like to do that. Okay, I got a 9 plus 9, so 18.
Yeah, so you're right. So the scroll is gone,
but now I have the spell, so I can... I think
it's just going to be super handy. A lot of times
we want to get something back to him. Instead
of having to walk all the way back over to him.
He sets up bases in Flamekeep and now that's
us forever. And I'm sure when we teleport something
to him, we can probably just wait for a minute
and then he'll teleport something right back
to us. I mean, he definitely seems like he can.
Right. But even if he just holds on to it, like
we fulfilled our end of the bargain, he doesn't
seem like he's the type to... hold back on his
bargains. Right, exactly. He knows what we'll
do to him when he turns back on our deals. But
anyways, folks, that's going to do it for us
today. We'll catch you tech next time. Later,
nerds.