Well, so, I mean, obviously we're getting into
combat this episode, right? Why would you say
that? We may have parked Will at the table for
nothing. For nothing! But anyways, this is Frickin'
Nerds! A D &D podcast where six friends play
Dungeons & Dragons. I am Will or Will I am, I
don't fuckin' know. But what I do know, I am
playing the character Lazavna Mouskan, a druid
wood elf cleric, and we are now... Level 9, everybody.
Level 9. I did decide, I put a little mystery
out there, but I did decide I'm going to go another
level cleric, because then you get some good
shit. But, fun false fact about our friend Yalharis
here. This is definitely a false fact for Yalharis,
but we're going to talk about his work ethic.
During the week, it's atrocious. It is atrocious.
Some would say he has a weakened immune system.
Oh my god. Yeah, that is a false fact for sure.
But tonight, hello. I am Yoharis Sithrith, the
now level 9 Eladrin Summerform Ranger. And a
fun false fact about our boy Harun is that...
He's a big fan, huge fan of fart jokes. To him,
that's such an alien concept that he finds it
to be just the most hilarious thing in the world.
I have step of the wind, but I'm blowing wind.
Or it literally gets gassed up over it. Diesel.
Diesel nuts. Alright. That was a good false fact.
Maybe in the future. but right now he definitely
doesn't understand it. That part was right. My
name is Mark, and I play Calaroon when a warforged
monk, kind of a baby, kind of getting some feels,
feeling bad about things and questioning things
in life. He's learned existentialism. The false
fact that is for Franklin is that much like an
octopus, he has three hearts, two for pumping
blood and one for his gills. That is a false
fact. The last one's for a different life. It's
called redundancy. Don't need to worry about
how it works, though. Yeah. It's honestly not
good for my survival. But hi, I'm Ben. I'm playing
Franklin, who is diametrically opposed to Haroon
as kind of an a -hole. But yeah, we're level
9 and for a wizard that means some things. Now,
a fun false fact about Nyx is that Nyx has a
fourth leg. I won't say where, but it's kind
of for his own pleasure. They connect in the
middle. I just kind of imagine it coming from
like between your shoulder blades and slinging
down. God damn. You see him about to lose his
balance and you're like, how'd he catch himself?
All I'm saying is I've never seen Nyx go down
on his back. He always seems to fall forward.
I've seen him go down on his knees though. Imagine
him giving somebody a piggyback ride. Just ignore
that hitting your chin. Nyx is giving a lot of
dwarves rides. I'm Jalen. I'm playing Nyx. And,
uh, false fact about Lazagna is... Sorry, I'm
trying to look at you while saying you're a false
fact. Yeah, I can also just pick it up, huh?
That's a possibility. Yeah. False fact about
Lazagna is they are falling more into the cleric
levels. because they've lost crisis and faith,
and now they're trying to find God again. I mean,
I wouldn't really say that's completely false.
Do we really believe his God let him level up?
Valid. Hey, you know, I think the only reason
that he got to level up in all of us last time
is because I was feeding him some cool knowledge
straight from Scott. I don't know about that.
I love how you guys technically school him in
cooking with the other guy, and now you're schooling
him in his own god. Yeah, I wouldn't say that,
you know, I'm on that ass, but I'm on that ass.
Um, actually. I just imagine that Franklin was
just negging lasagna because he was like, He
probably wants that ass. I'm after his sister,
Rigatoni. Whoa. That's his mom. That's his mom?
Yeah. He likes them ripe with age. Don't we all?
So, Gonzo, what are you wearing? I mean, depending
on how this goes, it could be less, but I'm wearing
my... Sorry to dog on you, Will. Sometimes you
need some inspirational words from a weird source.
I'm wearing my purple socks. It says... Be the
person your dog thinks you are. Oh, that is cute,
Gonzo. Now, just out of curiosity then, what
does your dog think of you? Both of those things
are canon, by the way. They got their bog box
today, so they're really happy. They think Gonzo
is their favorite servant. That's probably what
it is. That's how the cats think. Yeah, the dogs
are like, holy shit, this guy's awesome. They
got their BarkBox today, and it was pretty awesome.
This guy's fucking awesome. Thank you, Dad. Not
sponsored, although... Yeah, BarkBox would give
me free shit. That'd be fucking awesome. BarkBox
is amazing. BarkBox is amazing. Yeah. What's
your real fact? My real fact is about... Yoharis.
What'd I do? So, Yoharis has proven his navigation
skills pretty well. So much so that... He's pretty
unfazed while he's navigating, so you have advantage
on perception checks while you're navigating.
I love you. Thank you. What a guy. That's advantage
in general, not just in your terrain. I love
everything. It all works out. That's actually
really fucking good. Sorry, I've been trying
to look for my phone. Next mission, Yoharis looks
for the clitters. Did you leave it on the...
I have advantage. It doesn't exist. You want
us to call your phone? Please. Yeah, who wants
to give the recap for inspiration? You're being
really mean for no reason. Ha! I mean, that's
most of the time they're together, isn't it?
Yeah, I'm only mean to goblins. That's true,
he hates goblins. So, last time, well, I have
inspiration, does anybody else not? I use my
inspiration, shut it. No, you use your inspiration.
Oh, do I? Remember when you needed to re -roll
for the ring, and then you got the same thing,
and then he used inspiration for you because
you guys got the same thing? Do you want to do
it? Yeah, I mean, I can try. Actually, I only
remember the back half, so you should just do
it. Okay, I also only remember the back half.
Together we remember all of the back half. No,
I think we delivered Baldwin back 100%. Got him
situated, dropped off. And then we made it canon
that Bronfen's character is with, say, with Baldwin
to help with the ruse. He did more motivation.
And I think we also managed to secure some of
the clerics to go kind of be in the guard detail.
After that, we went back into town. Did we actually
go back to that town, or did we go south? No,
we went back in town. Yeah, the information.
Yeah, I just cute Yeah, you were Megan tell ya
But so we met with him we delivered the ring
got some cool rewards. I got a ring We burned
a lot of this And then Harun got to play his
game with information. That's also very important
to remember. We also just got a lot of information
in general. We covered a lot of loose ends. And
we figured out about the vampires. And the items.
Hence the mean thing. Yeah, you guys remember
that Baldwin's son had been one of the bodies
he had found. Oh yeah, I killed him. I gave him
his glasses back. Yeah, and then like... He gave
him his necklace, or Nyx gave him his necklace.
No, no, he didn't give it to him. He traded him
because Nyx didn't want to give it to him. But
he got a pinky ring. Outside of just the recap,
though, to play a little scene that didn't actually
happen in -game, none of you saw this, but Franklin
and the information broker shared a brief look
and a little nod, and then we're on our way.
Yep. Which means somebody's fucked. It's not
me. I would imagine that I was still in the room,
but I was so excited about the idea of flying
again that I didn't catch any of that. I'm going
to say it out loud just so people at home know.
No metagaming, guys. With the information broker,
I told Franklin, great job on leading these idiots.
You seem like a capable leader. This is bullshit.
He said, he did say, the claw wants a rune. Just
make sure they don't get a hold of him. If he
is compromised, just get rid of him altogether.
Or rather, not have him than have him taken.
My official dog title is Waste Disposal. I definitely
don't work just for waste. First of all, waste
management. I don't manage nothing, I dispose.
You got waste? I'll put it somewhere for you.
I got you. I don't even recycle. All I know is
overwhelming force and fuckery. Got it. I want
that on my chest tattooed. All I know is overwhelming
force and fuckery. Yes, sir. I want that tattooed
on my chest in a dead language. Ooh. Get into
Sumerian. Actually, I'm going to get it in Aramaic.
Ooh, do it. But yeah, frankly, then he says,
Um, and if it does come to it, you will be rewarded.
Oh, wow. If it does. Hey, I'm all for engineering
a situation where I need to do a thing to get
a reward. Um, but Harun, you're safe. I'll look
out for Harun next time. Be careful. Dude, if
Harun ever dies, I'm gonna mourn in real life.
I mean, if Rune ever dies, I'm going to take
his heart and stick it in another Warforged and
see what happens. Honestly, I wouldn't be that
upset. I just imagine, still Harun, different
class. What class do you think it would be? A
worker brought in here, an artifice. It'd be
pretty legit, though. In -game, Harun, however,
it doesn't really matter, dies. Like, lights
go off, like... And then, like, Gonzo cuts away
to, like, some, like, subterranean layer, like,
you know, and a machine starts whirring up and,
like, stands up and just dusts itself off. It's
like Harun's version of 2 .0. It's the backups
from Rick and Morty, not Quasar. It's Harun with
two U's. Harun! Harun! I have become Death. Destroyer
of War. Was that inspirational worthy? Yeah,
I'll say so. All right. Let's go. Now the next
time Gonzo gives me a reward, I can use it again.
So where do we pick up at? So you guys pick up
at... You guys had just looked at the information
broker, so you guys had gotten the information
on where to go for the possible leads for dealing
with the druid, the evil druid that Lazagna...
Ever since... Ever since you saw her, she's been
kind of plaguing your mind because you've only
ever heard of druids turning to darkness. Yeah,
fuck that bitch. I'm curious, did you have cleric
levels before that encounter? I did, but I think
it was like one. And you haven't taken one since,
huh? No, no, no, I did. The past two have been
cleric levels. That's what I mean, though. You
haven't taken any druid levels since we've encountered
the witch. Yeah, I would say that. I mean, shit,
that sounds like she's shaking your belief in
nature, shit. I'm not saying, like... Maybe.
Maybe. First of all, Ben, don't be going all
therapist on my character, alright? First of
all, fuck you! Don't bring my mom into this.
Ben, the player, only wants one thing. Fix everybody's
character at the table. But frankly, the character
only wants one thing, and that's to kill everyone.
Together, we're a very dysfunctional team. I
mean, either way, yeah. You're not wrong, Ben.
Don't worry about my character. I like how it
works out in the mechanics of the game to encounter
abominations of nature and then go like, maybe
I need God more than this. I need to turn inward
and look at God. Well, what I'm thinking is like,
you know. like this perversion of nature and
you're just going like, ooh, is that what ultimate
nature power looks like? I don't like that. True.
True. And then he decides to burn everything.
Zagna is a good guy. Also, I don't know. Gonzo
informed me. I don't know if the rest of you
guys know this, but my alignment has changed.
It was I think it was neutral good. Now it's
lawful good. That makes sense. Wow, what a guy.
What a guy. Now he believes in rules. I feel
like that with him getting more emotion, he's
kind of becoming more aware of what's happening.
I'm waiting for the negative emotions to start
rolling in. Oh, they're going to start coming.
Don't worry. We're going to go from lawful, neutral,
lawful, evil. Does Harun have BPD? Which is crazy
because I also have stillness of mind. Big pussy
disease. Calm down. It's big penis disorder.
We all have BAD, I guess. It's unfortunate. It's
affecting a lot of Americans. This is not a challenge,
but if he sees enough sad things happening because
of you guys, the other emotions might pop out.
Alright. So this time on Dragon Ball. Level 9.
You guys are leaving the city. What time of day
is it? It is... Why'd you ask? It's always a
wine and drink. No, I know what the follow -up
is. That's why. Always a great question. Afternoon.
Can I see if there's any Red Dragons? Yes, you
can. The one time you don't, I swear. There is
a Red Dragons. Okay. Just out of joke. The one
time he does it is the one time we are going
to get ambushed, and then we're all going to
be pissed at you. Exactly. It will be something
for the record. Y 'all made fun of me! Y 'all!
It's like that crazy old man, y 'all laughed
at me! Y 'all laughed at me! The title of that
episode will be That Time with the Red Dragon.
Which way do we need to go? Like, do we know
where we need to go? Ooh, actually, you know
what? Oh, yes! Pull out the handy -dandy, nice,
uh, Eberron map. You see, I got it right. It's
actually a b -ron. Oh, shit. That's a Google
map. Oh, shit, don't look at his history. Oh,
this is mine. That makes more sense. There will
be less feet in it, we know that. Yeah, why is
there a foot next to that map? No meat, it's
just feet. Nearby feet in your area. What? No,
that's my search. There you go. Seatfinder .com.
You don't have to worry. Emily doesn't listen
to this. Yeah, it's fine. No, she actually does.
She's already deep in there. Yeah, Emily, sorry
about your back problems from Jalen. Yikes. I
mean, that's a good thing to have. Is it not
just like you just expand it? Well, I'm just
going to see if I can do that. It's called a
piggyback ride. What the fuck? All right. Ben,
you're just responsible. Benjamin, you're the
best. Thank you. What the Benny? Yeah. I mean,
not to brag, but you know. Get good or... Why
wouldn't we open it? Truly the left hand of God.
I think it's because it's popping up on the right
side on the Reddit tab, so it's when you click
that. Okay. No, you'll appreciate this with that
knowledge. You can see all of his conspiracy
theories that he believes in. That's fucking
awesome. Can I make this bigger? I recently picked
up a book on Kabbalistic astrology. I have yet
to crack into it. I'm sure it's interesting.
In the downtime of this podcast, I also now have
the ability to run vertically up walls. without
falling, and across liquid surfaces. That's just
how Mark is. I was about to say, like, is this
Mark or Harun? It'd be like that. First time.
First time with him. Yeah, so for the viewers,
or listeners at home, why did I say viewers,
but listeners, Mark and Bronson built a D &D
gaming table. Oh, it's fucking awesome. So yeah,
we're in Flame Keep. And we need to go where?
So either here to the burnt wood, where you guys
heard the reports of, like, shenanigans going
on. Oh, yeah, that's right. Because we're, like,
she's operating on the warm land or, like, near
the warm land. Yeah, yeah. And she's, like, popping
out. So, shit, that's close. That's hella close.
I thought that it was, like, way further, like,
southeast. Okay, but with that, we should definitely
be going to the Burntwood. I mean, it's too close
not to at least check out. I agree. Yeah, it's
right there. It's right there. In canon, we're
all having this conversation over Harun's shoulders
as we all look at the map together. Oh, absolutely.
Because Harun, yeah. Enhance. Yeah, we keep telling
Harun, can you pull out a bigger map? If he's
super clear on this one, can you pull out a bigger
map? Harun just starts drawing the same spot,
but bigger on every part. Enhance. Yeah, then
we all take a step back when he whips out the
biggest map, and we go, oh shit, it's over here.
Harun, you had this the whole time? Yeah. It's
like an 8 -foot fold -out board. It takes him
like 20 minutes. It starts off at a really small
piece of paper, but because he's a robot, he's
able to fold it more than eight times. I was
thinking that. He's a sex robot. He's coming
to your town. It's eight times, right? I think
it's seven. But if you turn that eight on its
side, then it's infinite. Yeah, so look, you
got... Sick. So this is... That was pretty awesome.
Yeah, I've heard from a lot of people that play
D &D that the World Anvil is a good app to use.
This just made my soul hard. Somebody, like,
put in the work and did this. Yeah. Oh, Ryan,
there's a pretty cool place up here where you
can... Not sponsored by World Anvil. Although...
It's where you're from. What? Boneyard. Aw. I
almost got it out, but I'm fucking aware. Ryan,
check out the name of this place. Four Bones!
Yeah, we did. I wanted to burn that place to
the ground. I did too, but unfortunately it was
really guarded. Yeah, so Sharn's all the way
over here. I see... My home! Lasagna! There you
go. Lasagna's home is over here. No, no, no.
It's Glamour Bay. Glamour Bay. Middle of the
screen right now. Over in the Shimmerwood Forest.
Over here? The Shimmerwood Forest. I'm just fucking
with you. Yeah, it's Glamour Bay right here.
Can we... Oh, never mind. Yes. Don't worry about
that. No, I think I will take you up on that
food offer. I was going to get a bacon cheeseburger,
but I decided against it. Well, you got a place
over here? Fuck yeah. Now that we know that,
dude, this is going to be it. Now, Mark, the
thing is, is you have to bring this to every
D &D night. At the table. Clear out the living
room area there. I want a table like this. Technically,
I could. We could throw a blanket on Ben's table,
and then I just will take off the legs when you
just bring it in and set it on his table. That's
like shit. Fucking bet. My back ain't hurt. I
guess we could do it on all the tables, technically.
That's true. But also, that's so much work. But
it is. Mark, I just want to build one for everyone's
house. No, I think my goal is to have a set up
like this in my house or something. Mark can
make it for you. I know. I'll take a ripper off
the bomb. As soon as we leave the city and we
come back. We're leaving the city and perception
checks? Yeah, sure. I'm going to cast... Would
you consider Ryan navigating? Well, actually,
I was going to ask what the terrain is looking
like. Well... Fuck up here. Oh Is there any way
we could fast -track trying to get the health
potion? Yeah, how much would that be 50 gold
for standard? Yeah, so you guys are up here We're
like, what would you say, like, that's pretty
fucking close. Well, I mean, this map isn't fully
accurate. It's a little further, but yeah, you
guys are pretty close still. Within, like, make
it like a day or two. So, would you say that
it would count as either grassland or forest?
Yeah, this is still grassland before you get
to the, uh, before you get to the coast and then...
Uh, I got a 16 plus 9, uh, now 25. Uh, my roll
doesn't matter if he has a 25. I got a nat 20,
so my rolls better. I also just got a nat 20.
No, our nat 20s, holy moly. They learned it from
me. Although, because of the level up, that would
have been a 30. So, um... Nice. I get a double
my... And then my owl has a non -natural 20 for
flying around. Yeah, so you guys, um... So, as
you're leaving, um, you notice, like, same thing,
uh, as you saw before, like, people, like, similar
-looking caravans of, like, cargo coming in,
but now you get to sleep as, like, uh, it was
covered up, but as you, um, saw, like, with your
natural 20, like, like, some of the slit goes
up, and, uh, one of these cargo, uh, like, um,
containers that was being carried had a bunch
of undead in there. Whoa. I hate being right
sometimes. Which you, which, uh, seeing area,
like, you probably, they're probably shipping
them in for labor. And you saw that... Now you're
kind of piecing together that you've seen other
cargo as you were coming in and out. Same as
this. And now you're like, oh my god. Those are
also other endeavors they're probably bringing
as labor. Because you see that they're expanding
and building more. Are those headed towards Karnak?
Yeah, they're heading towards the... Flame Keep?
Yeah, they're heading towards Flame Keep. Because
you know that's where... They're like going up
and around? Yeah. So you guys are going the opposite
way. They're going towards Flame Keep. Okay.
This all still entails the Emerald Claws using
them, the undead, to build this ship, right?
Not always. Well, that could be it. But that
could be it, but it's also a lot of... Some cities
are also using the undead, like the city on the
other side of the map. Yeah, they were doing
it too, so you don't know. It could be that,
or it could be them trading other cities. Hard
to tell, but it is something to... Because you...
Yo, Horace, deep down, just thinks it's wrong.
Oh, for sure, for sure. So, yeah, you saw that,
and it kind of just irks you, because you've
now realized you've seen much more of these similar
cargo coming in, and now you piece it together.
Same with you, Franklin. You knowing the history
of it, and to you, you're just like, well...
Yeah. Yeah. That's what it is. More labor being
brought in. I just want to give a prayer to my
God. Peace be with those people and their families.
I don't know how much the limit would be, but
for a greater healing, if I could get one for
everybody. I think that would be... I think it's
$100 for a greater, so that would be like $500
total. Yeah. And then if I got... A superior,
I'm talking about. That one's 500 by itself.
So a thousand total. Yeah, we can do that. Let's
say you just find a potion shop. You have your
map, so you'll be able to retrace and find a
shop you had seen earlier. So I'm down a thou
-wow. Thou -wow, wow. But then I, after I get
out of the potion shop, we say, look, you guys!
And then I'm like, what for you? What for you?
What for you? What for me? Thanks, Harun. When
were you, if you would like? Thanks, Franklin.
I would never do anything to you. Put it away.
Thank you very much. Oh, you're not... Harun,
that's reassurance. Why did you say Franklin?
Huh? Why did you say Franklin? Franklin? Yeah,
you called him Franklin. Oh. Oh, sorry. No, I...
Okay. I see the mistake here. I always look out
for numero uno. My mistake, Karun. Okay. The
fact that you as Ben didn't realize what you
said, but you as Franklin just automatically
just went right into it. I love it. Amen. Franklin
knows what he's about. Even if he was confused,
like, why did I say that? He's not going to show
up for a second. Ain't no bitch. Will you say
a greater? What was it, a greater? Yes, a greater.
You have a greater health potion, so add it to
your inventory now. Don't forget. I'm forgetful.
I don't believe we brought the cart with us because
we were coming back here, right? Am I correct?
Where would we have left it? Flame Keep. Because
he told us to just come back. Oh. Am I wrong?
I mean, that's fine. Before we are going back
there. Either way, I don't know. Yeah, that's
why I was just like, maybe we just didn't even
need the cart to have to worry about it. Here's
the thought. I think, in a way, we're quicker
without the cart. We're a little more mobile.
Right, right, right. You can always leave it
at... The house Baldwin was at was one of his
houses. I think that we should do that. Yeah.
But that's what we did while we were in the city.
Yeah, we'll just say that as they were leaving,
you'll have to meet up with Wallace and let him
know that he was going to be storing it there.
Especially for fucking the forest. Yeah, yeah.
That's why we're leaving. Wallace gave you an
extra key to the barn. Also, just to remind you
guys, I did also ask... Baldwin for a documented
paper with his signature saying basically that
we're hella chill and not to worry about us.
Cool. Alright. I guess we head out. We are there.
Yeah, so we're going down towards... I still
heard it. I want you to get the bass. Okay. I
was saying, so we gotta go down towards Olaf
before we cut over into the burnt woods, I think.
Because that's where those villagers were going
missing. Without a cart, we can cut through.
It's maybe not as fast, but also... I could cast
Pass Without a Trace on us. Don't you also like
trees? Don't you also have paths without trees?
No, I just have really great stealth. The closest
forest right outside the moorland, right? He
can get it, but... Oh, you're right. I thought
some... Don't some of you just get it as like
a... Like a trait or anything? Or am I thinking...
You're thinking of... Hide in plain sight. Oh,
yeah. Which you get at level 10. 10th, whatever
it is. I think save your pasta trace because
I think it's only an hour or something that's
good for it. Two hours. Two hours? Yeah. Isn't
that what PETA did in the Hunger Games? Not sponsored.
What I was thinking is if you guys are up for
it, cutting through the woods, I feel good having
our druid and our ranger to kind of gauge if
there's anything off with the woods. Yeah. I
don't think I would know. Also, we kind of established
with my maps, I kind of got a decent idea of
how far we're going into areas, so with his navigation,
we should probably be pretty set. One of us,
for no reason at all, got way better at navigation
just a minute ago. What do you mean for no reason?
I'm just saying that you were really good at
navigation. You ate a magic mushroom, went, and
now you're twice as good at that. That's canon.
That's lore, actually. I just saw a mushroom
on the ground. Hey, man, those mushrooms, the
hallucinogenics are crazy on Rangers. Mm -hmm.
All right. Sounds like a plan. Let's do it. Let's
do it. Are you guys holding candles? You guys
are walking? Of course. Fucking, like, what's
-her -name -down -the -yellow -brick -goddamn
-road. Have we long -rested yet? No, you guys...
I think we should pop up outside of the camp,
outside of the forest first, and then long -rest.
Well, Gonzo was saying it's going to take more
than that to get to the woods, right? Well...
Yeah, so from the city, it'll probably take about
half a day to get to the woods. Oh, I see. But
you guys haven't rested from, you know, you guys
went out at night, did all your things. So you
guys have not rested yet. We want to fast track
a rest in this city and then say we dipped morning.
I was even thinking, what if we just push down
towards like before the bridge over, over that
river and just like, so long rest, like long
rest on this side of it, kind of away from the
big. On the other side of the city, yeah. Yeah,
just like what Mark said, just fast track. We
stay in Man City and then leave out in the morning.
Oh, I was just thinking, like, we just push there
tonight. Yeah, we camp up by the water. I mean,
if you do push it, you'll get exhaustion because
you guys haven't slept in the day. Yeah. If you
guys do push it there, you could get there, but
you'll get exhaustion, which, if you sleep it
off, you could. Yeah, I mean, like, half the
distance, the night and half the day, just, like,
along the water somewhere. Just so we can pick
it up and be close tomorrow. Okay. Yeah. Let's
do that. We'll just say you guys got across the
shore on this side. Exactly. You guys haven't
crossed the shore over to the woods yet, so...
Oh, God, there's a hand on the map. How wide
does that river look? Is it less than 100 feet
wide? I think... Is it like a swim, or is it
like we could walk across it? I think he's trying
to run across it. No. There is a bridge you guys
can cross. You better believe it. But is it 100
feet long? It's more than 100 feet, yeah. Oh,
okay. Damn. Harun, I think we should fashion
a whole part so you can roll the water in the
hole. We'll just pull you in and he starts to
sink. Tight to my waist. Okay, but if for some
reason, you know, knock on wood, this bridge
goes out, I just need to start running and I'm
fine. Yeah. I like to imagine you as Mrs. Incredible
from the first one. You turn into a boat. A propeller
pops out of his ass. Is it a propeller? I would
like to imagine he would use his ring to turn
into a polar bear and we all go on his back as
he swims across the river. Turn into an octopus
and just drag your ass. Then he'll ink all over
you. No. Alright, so we're saying the night on
the shore? Alright. Uh, so it's night time. Yeah.
So it's past dawn? No, you guys, so it is. It
is not past dawn yet. The next, when you wake
up, it'll be dawn. It'll be past dawn. In the
morning, it's dusk. Night's dawn. Is it? Yep.
No, dusk. We're opposites. Yeah. Dusk is night
time. You're right. Yeah, yeah. Oh, look, it's
because of the dawn of a new sun. No, you're
right. You're right. Yeah, from dusk till dawn.
I'm not that high a dealer. Okay, I'll take watch.
First watch. I'll take... I think the eight -hour
sleepers sleep eight hours and you guys figure
it out. I'll be up for every watch because I
could just sit there and be stagnant and watch.
I imagine you guys are having this conversation
and Nick just goes and starts making a dead roll
and just lays down. Alright, sounds good, guys.
I'm literally just doing enough to make a pillow
and knock it out fully awkward. It's not even
a pillow. He just takes his greatsword and lays
on it. That's good enough. Side up. Yeah. I'm
also gonna let down. You guys got watch? Oh,
yes. Yes, Franklin, you have a nice rest. So
if you fall asleep in your armor, you won't be
able to get fully comfortable, so... Okay, take
off my armor. Butt -ass naked. Hey, you guys
are talking while I was taking a walk, and you
see Nick just getting naked? And then he just
puts a pillow down and just lays down. Just dick
out. You see, now it's less anger and it's more
just seething disappointment because I keep seeing
it happen. I think Franklin's really just wondering
why... That's how he sleeps. Why Nick's only
took off the bottom half of his armor. So that
way he can use the kickstand. It's so funny that
you take off your clothes all the time, but technically
I could go nude. And I never do. I'm just like,
always wearing clothes. It's because he learned
the concept of shame. Where did I get the want
of clothes with you being my buddy for so long?
That's how you learned the concept of shame is
from him being naked all the time. Seeing people's
reactions to dicks going, oh no, that's not how
I want to be perceived. His first moments of
consciousness, I was butt ass naked. He could
see the disappointing looks. He goes, I don't
want people to look at me like that. It was a
practice rule. It was disappointment and intrigue.
I'm asleep. Perception check for first watch.
Go ahead. Guidance. 5 plus 4 plus 9, so 18. Nice,
yeah. I got 14. Yeah, so you... So you're kind
of dozing in and out, but you do see like a...
You know, some fish swimming, and then you see,
like, just quick out of your glance, you saw
something swimming, just stop for a moment. Looks
like it's staring at you, but then kind of just
swims away. Does Hot Rune see that, too? What'd
you get? Uh, 14? Uh, no, you didn't see it. But,
um... You were just seeing, like, fish and stuff,
but you, uh... To you, you don't really know
a lot about all the animals. You don't really
notice anything particular. You just see shapes
going. You kind of saw the rest of the fish were
throbbing. You saw a shape kind of stop for a
brief second and then keep going. Okay. That
was in the water? Yeah. I'll be paying attention
to the water until the four hour mark. I'll probably
have your back too. and then so I'm like checking
out the other way. You just move Haroon's body
like face that way. You scooch him. Yeah, and
then the rest of your watch goes by. Did you
need me to roll at all? Were you taking first
watch? No, I was taking first watch. He was going
to do second one. Yeah, now it's your turn. I
will let him know about the water so that he
can kind of, you know. Watch that a little bit
more. Go ahead and roll your perception check.
18. 17. Yeah, so... You... Yeah, so you guys
kind of just look at the water and just see a
lot of fish and stuff. Other than that, it looks
pretty calm. Nothing out of the ordinary. Actually,
I also have 18. Nothing out of the ordinary.
You saw just a lot of fish, but you did see there
was a lot of fish in there, so it is a pretty
active little stream in here. I'll keep note
of that once I come out of my trance. It says
you can also do light work, so I'm resting between
this. You said there's a lot of fish? Yeah. Could
I jerry -rig some scrap and... rope and as one
of my staff, the poop staff, try to make a jerry
-rig fishing boat. Would you know how to fish?
I've seen other people do it. That's true. He's
familiar with the concept. That's true. Maybe
I could just go in there, I guess. I'll tell
you. You can try it. You would have to roll me
a... Is it a survival? Yeah, go ahead and roll
me a survival roll. It's even if you can find
the material behind it, just gather it all. Eleven.
A fishing chuck. It's it's crude you have a stick
with like a string tied to it and And you and
you put like a hook at the end So it's kind of
like ain't the best but maybe like I bit like
I Thread the rope through it like a ninja star
and just kind of bend the edges It's crude you
could try it Yeah other than that After You really
don't see anything else, but then you see Harun
go towards water, and you see what he looks like
attempting to fish Yaharis. I see Harun trying
to, like, fish. Other than that, it's really
all you see during your watch. I think I have
one more steak. I don't know if it's good, but
I'm putting it on there. It was in the back holding.
I imagine I keep it a little fresher. I'll try
to put some steak bit on there and throw it in.
Roll me a flat d20 and then we'll see how good
you fish. 19. Nice. Alright, yeah. Go ahead and
roll me a d8. Oh, d8. Alright. Fishing in the
middle of the night. Well, it's like early morning.
This is during second launch. Three! Yeah, so
you got three fish. Well, now it's kind of like
early morning because he took the first shift.
And second. Yeah, so you guys are awake as Yusof
Harun catches three fish. Very nice. He had this
crude pull, you're like, what the fuck? But Yusof
comes out of the water with three big fish. And
it's the morning now? Yeah. So it has been done?
Yes. I walk over with the fish to Yuharis and
go, I don't know what to do now. Well, I take
the fish. You have very much to do, and thank
you. We have breakfast. Nice start to fillet
the fish. You wake up, and you also see the fish,
and you see him filleting the fish with expert
precision. I feel like, roll me survival roll.
See how well you... Am I up, and I see it? Yeah.
Can I cast guidance? Yeah. You can always help
him, too, because you're... Oh, yeah, I'll help
him, too. I forgot about that action. But if
you really wanted an expert help with... cooking
this you could always ask franklin no it's okay
uh i'll help him that's gonna be a dirty 20 yeah
so you see them like getting the fish they're
prepping it i also have some grains so i might
try to cook up some grits yeah as you uh you
see your heart we're awake at this point yeah
um if i could just look over lasagna's shoulders
and say oh sometimes good enough is good enough
i guess as your heart is i didn't cook this one
franklin It's so hard for me to tell. You're
old with advantage, right? With advantage? Yeah,
because he was helping you. I can? Let's see
if we get anything better. Yeah, so that would
be 25 now. You're saying that and you're kind
of just going through effortlessly skinning all
three fish just clean. As you got virtually all
the scales. The room's watching you intently.
As you just did this all with just precision.
So now you have like a pristine, like all these
bones and skin. And now you can just do whatever
you want with it. Can I roll for my grits? Oh,
that is a 12. Yeah. Not the worst. Man, this
fish is amazing. The grits are up there. Well,
you put the fish on top of the grits. He doesn't
really know how to cook. Oh, wait, that was a
flat D20. If we add my survival, then that would...
How much did I say? 12? That's 15. It's decent
enough. You can tell Harun doesn't really know
how to season things because he doesn't really
have the taste palette, so he kind of just...
15 something. I date a lot of white women because
I've been to a lot of houses that don't notice
anything. That was Nick's in character. Oh, God.
I understand. Oh, God. Every time I think about
white people cooking, it brings me back to that
memory of Will knows the one of the casserole.
Oh, it's always cream of mushroom soup with us.
That pissed me the fuck off. Yeah. So, this guy,
one of our friends, he was like, I'll cook tonight
because we had gone to the cabin and everyone
was like, oh, it's his turn to cook. He said
he was making Mexican casserole and I was like,
what the fuck's a Mexican casserole? You know,
I'm not one to get offended, but... Don't worry,
Jonzo. I was offended on your behalf. I was so
fucking... I was like, oh, how he's making this?
He had uncooked tortillas in this crock pot thing.
So he puts them down. And then he gets out cans
of cream of mushroom. I'm like, what the fuck
is this? And then he's cooking the ground beef
to put over it. He's using taco seasoning packets.
But he uses one for all this ground beef. What
the fuck is this? How many pounds of ground beef
was it? Probably like three to five. Okay, you
needed at least three to five packets of seasoning,
man. Or just season it yourself. I'm just saying,
man, like, if people don't want to bring all
the seasonings themselves, the packet works.
True. But, it was just like one, and I was just
like staring, and I was like, this is good. And
then he took out a can of corn, put the can of
corn in there too, and it was, that's part of
the Mexican thing. And, he put white rice in
there. Oh. I was like, what the fuck is this?
It was bland as shit. I was legitimately mad.
That's called American Mexican fusion. Dude,
if you even try, it's a good thing that you didn't
say Tex -Mex because then all of the American
Southwest would have wanted to kill you. Well,
only if they got this deep into our podcast.
And they will. All of the Southwest are listening.
I was about to say, specifically the Southwest,
I don't know about them. Emily does this. I wanted
to point out, Emily can cook. Her family can't.
Yeah, yeah. Well, and her step -family, especially,
because they're British. And they eat bananas
in their Caesar salad. Oh, what the fuck? Yeah.
I've heard about that. Yeah, so it was, long
story short, it was Thanksgiving, we're on the
line getting food. I put the salad on my plate.
I see that there's bananas in my salad. I go
give Emily a kiss on the cheek. And as you go
kiss her on the cheek, I'm like, there's bananas
in the salad, be careful. And I go on, and she
walks right past the salad. If they're willing
to put bananas in the salad, you don't know what
else they're willing to do. I would just like
to say, on behalf of the greater European -American
community, we can cook it's just the suburban
ones that are like well off that for whatever
reason they're like ah yes cream of mushroom
gimme that yeah i don't make a pretty meaningful
canon so thank you that's also true but also
how i learned to not trust white family cooking
is because i grew up both my sides family can
cook i'm black mexican the first time i dated
a white girl she cooked me something i thought
it tastes like everything else i've ever had
in my life bomb as fuck It tasted so bad. I was
so excited to eat it. I just threw it in my mouth
and my face changed. Act of disgust. I was like,
I've never eaten something this terrible before.
Growing up with my mom, she knows how to cook
damn good. So when people were always like, why
don't you go to a Mexican restaurant? I was like,
why the fuck would I go when I can just have
my mom make me something that's way better? And
their sauce is so good. All right. Now we got
on a tangent about white people cooking. Yeah,
go. White people doing things. The more you know.
Yeah, it's a good thing Ryan's the only white
guy at this table. Guilty. What can I say? I've
been told I have a very white voice. I'm only
44 % Mexican. All the other rest is white. You
know, you go back 200 years and none of me is
considered white. So we're cooking fish. We're
eating fish perfectly seasoned with the grits.
We're on a riverbank. It's dawn. It's beautiful.
Honestly, this whole scene is fantastic. And
then I, as we sit around the fire, I stand up,
use my sword to stand up. I look. Let's lock
in the eyes. Now let's kill this bitch. Yeah,
I'm ready to take her down. Y 'all, Horace, why
don't you give us an inspirational speech? Yeah,
I'm going to go ahead and this is out of character.
Bolstering performance. I'm going to use bolstering
performance. Is there any chance there's any
oranges or fruit like that nearby? So after I
give you guys this bolstering performance you
all gain at 10 temporary HP I don't actually,
in real life, know that. Yeah. You're a war for
it. You don't really know where food grows because
you don't really consume it. Pineapples grow
on the coast. Well, no, where you guys are right
now. Yeah, where you guys are right now, there's
no... Well, this is a fantasy world and anything's
possible. No pineapples. The most fantastical
thing is... Don't pineapple on my apples, all
right? The most fantastical thing is a pineapple.
But, yeah, my bolstering performance will be...
So, there's a song, it's an Irish folk song,
it's called The Rocky Road to Dublin, but we're
going to change the word Dublin to Nightwood,
because it's right there. And I feel like I would
have spent some time in my youth in Nightwood.
I will bust out the traditional half -elf river
dance with an 18 performance. I wonder where
the warning before us is. If we're doing all
this, and I'm taking my one of two bottles of
mead left, and I'm pouring some for everybody,
I'm like, Not for next, he needs to be sharp.
This is how I sharpen up. I go with withdrawals
if they don't. The shakes. You want a steady
hand? It's a very real thing. Oh yeah, I've seen
it in person. I'm a bartender, man. You don't
need to tell him. I want it mixed with a short
fuse. That's true. But yeah, I think we... Let's
get on this bridge. Let's go get this bitch.
Good question. Yeah, too hard. Uh, switching
from a shield to two -handed weapon, like if
I were to square two, with a versatile weapon,
just drop the sword and grab, you drop the shield
and grab the sword with two hands, is that a
free action or is that an action? Yeah, it's
a free action. Cool. Um, and then your damage,
I will also go with, with your two -handed two
-handed two -handed. Yeah. Cool. So then your
AC goes down to two assists. It goes down to
four. Oh, cause you got your, uh, He's got a,
he's got a cool shield. Yeah. Forgot about that.
Yeah. Yeah. Alright. Just wanted to verify that
was a free action. For any possible combat. There
are some rules that say it's like bonus to switch
stuff around, but I feel like it's dumb. There
is base rules. You get a one free item interaction.
But dropping something is a freebie. The free
item interaction would be two -handed, essentially.
And he knows how to grasp it with two hands.
Lots of experience. Firmly grasping. This guy
gets it. This guy gets it. Yeah. My dad's the
one who taught me. So what you're going to want
to do is white knuckle. I believe this is when
the kids say, pause. Fast forward. Are we going
through the woods or are we going on the road?
Over the river and through the woods. Down the
yellow brick road? No, to grandmother's house
we go. Well, this is the grandmother you probably
don't want to do it. Basically. Two of our players
can turn into wolves, so I think the scramble
goose is cooked if we find her. Well, she turned
three wolves into one wolf. If she can turn you
into some sort of cat -dog situation, I'd be
very happy. That'd be hilarious to tell it to
change back. Lazagna, there might have been a
three -headed wolf, but I can just kill it again.
Very true. I mean, I think we'll be able to take
what she's got, but she is very strong, so we
gotta expect the unexpected. Glondora. What a
bitch name. Sorry to all the real Glendoras out
there. Now there's so many of you listening.
Well, now that I think about it, we're kind of
doing two birds with one stone. Because was it
What's -His -Face going to give us something
for taking her out to? Oh, yeah. Yeah, correct.
Angus? Yeah, Angus. He was going to enhance one
of our items, right? Yeah, and he was going to
give us his. What? Snakes from his house. Oh.
Angus' snakes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's some
high stakes here. The stakes have never been
higher. Which one was the one that missed, really?
Uh, she's, what town? Yeah. It was, uh, somewhere
south of the, no, north of the Talenta Plains.
I think she was in Thronehold. Or was it, no,
it wasn't Thronehold, it was, uh... It was further
east, I remember. It was, like, on the... When
we go back, you'll see. Um, so Lozaga, some words
of wisdom to you. If you carry a rock with you,
you can use it to kill as many things as you
want. You could say one rock, a hundred deaths.
Easy. You just have to carry it. True. I mean,
very true, I guess. That's how my mom made the
first bloodstone. What? You just carry a rock
long enough and use it to kill enough people.
So, are we in the forest yet, or are we outside
of it? So you guys are crossing the bridge right
now. All right, let's get it going. I'd like
to do a little perception just to keep an eye
out. I feel like I can get a good view from this
place. Got it. Well, I got a natural one, so.
I got 16, and then I'm rolling for the owl, who
got a 25. All right. I'm psyched that I'm not
rolling. I think you got it. You got 25. My owl
got an 18, and I got a 16. So you don't really
see anything. Lazaga, though, you had seen a
figure that was kind of perched in the trees,
and it looked like something was staring at you,
and then it just started swinging away as soon
as you kind of locked eyes. How harsh. The trees
are talking. I, um... Pull toothpick off of my
shoulder and knock an arrow. What direction?
Uh, at a point. Where it was. Now I go and I
look with my wonderful eladrin eyes in that direction.
Uh, that is going to be 21. Yeah, so you don't
really catch a full gun to a whiz, but you do
see a figure that was kind of just gliding through
the trees, like going from where you guys were.
away from what where he was pointing just out
of curiosity is he like swinging from vine to
vine like Tarzan or is he like running through
the trees like on the branches like Naruto looks
like it's swinging like kind of like going through
and like guys watch out they're swingers kind
of like how you would see like like a like a
like a like a monkey or something okay I will
definitely relay all this information to everybody
So it could be watching the trees but also be
looking at the ground for traps Ben in the past
would be surprised I've had to Okay, well hey
I prefer an enemy that comes to me so hopefully
Whoever that was will Lead Glendora back to us.
Well, should I should I use pass without a trace?
I think we want to be seen you want to be seen?
I just want to make sure that we're all on the
same page. Oh, I can absolutely help us be seen
if that's the goal. Well, I imagine that it might
be good for one of us to be seen. Harun, what
do you think? You want me to be seen? No, what
do you think of the plan? I think one of our...
Okay, you'll be seen and I'll be unseen nearby.
Yeah, if you guys want to all hide and leave
me out as bait, I'm cool with that. I also got
the movement to back you up. Let me see if it's
like an aura thing or if it's like I can select
people. I think it's an aura. Definitely getting
you side eyes. But his confidence is also low
enough that he's like... Okay, let it never be
said frankly enough, let an enemy go to the...
Sorry, excuse me, a friend. Slip on that little
tongue. So, the spell says, for the duration,
each creature you choose within 30 feet of you,
including you. So, yeah, I can choose not to
do him and still remain within our veil. Okay,
yeah, and I mean... And still have him nearby,
someone nearby, with however impossibly close.
I mean, with the woods being what they are, I
mean, like, if you're just kind of crashing through
the brush as much as possible, we can not be,
like, we don't even have to be very far away.
Nick's already had this advantage, I'll tell
you what it is. Yeah. Oh, that's perfect. Yeah,
it's because his dick drags him to the ground
and kind of just... Honestly, you guys don't
have to be too close. Haru's fast. You three
are ranged. You guys can keep a distance. I think
if we're close, though, that'll be good, because
I'll... Oh, yeah. If they're bunched up, it'll
put us in a good spot. If need be, I still have
Misty's step, so I can get up on him. I can stay,
like, you know, keep a good orbit, but still
within range to get, you know, with Nix. Do we
see the forest at this point? Yeah, I think you
guys across the bridge, you guys are, like, just
getting to the, uh... So, do I know? Lasagna
cast Pass Without a Trace on the four that have
been chosen. Okay. Go ahead and roll your stealth
rolls. Stealth. That was a flat plus ten to it,
right? Yep, plus ten. We're going to probably
need that plus ten. It's going to be a group
check, though. I got an 18 total. Cool. Good
thing you got that plus ten. Exactly. 14. Nice.
23. Alright. I have a plus 8 in stealth. And
I rolled a 5. I have somewhere upwards of 30
in this. It's whatever 28 plus 6 is. 34. Well,
that averages us out to like 20 -something, I
feel like. You guys are kind of struggling as
your hardware is kind of just... Get your shit
together. He like looks at all like does like
the look at me. Look at you. Like I'm watching
you motherfucker. It's like you see his movements.
He's trying to copy his movements. Why does he
swing his hips like that? Because I'm a lover.
But while we were. Reminiscing from the last
time we've been in woods in Close Encounter,
I will be looking for traps this time. Alright,
yeah. Go ahead and roll your protection check.
I was... Guidance. Gonna look for traps on my
own path. Just looking, but I'm still not trying
too hard. I'm just kind of casually walking through
these trees. I'm just not gonna try to step on
anything that would hurt me. Yeah. So, uh, from...
Yeah, and then for me... Then my eye's out and
the owl just kind of silently flying through
us and watching. Do you need me to reroll? Go
ahead and reroll since you guys are traveling
through again. 25 on traps. Yeah, so so far you
just see like, I mean, there's a couple like
holes you might be stepping up. Other than that
you don't really see any traps. That's mainly
going to be my Lasagna's focus. So the owl got
11 and I got So the owl has a 26th, oh it's now
mm -hmm with your I would assume you Because
password traces any creature you selected it's
a creature. Yeah, sure because what you is it's
companion or is it like a Oh, cool, cool, cool.
Oh, you're sorry. It's really, uh, I'm not complaining.
Um, what kind of it is, but... Anyways, uh, yeah,
so you guys are traveling to the forest. And,
um... Yeah, so as you guys are traveling... It
sounds normal, like, just the sounds of the forest,
but... As you guys are kind of getting towards,
uh... A little deeper, deeper to the forest...
Uh... It just... Your horror is kind of noticed
as it first, as you kind of hear... You got a
little deeper, and it's gotten quieter. It's
always a bad sign when the birds stop chirping.
Yeah, as you're kind of picking up at first,
and the same with the zombie, as you're going
through it, and you also notice the sounds of
nature, the ambient nature, it's getting quieter
as you're going deeper in there. How's the nature
looking? Is there a change in scenery? Is it
not as lively? Does that make sense? Yeah. The
vibe check of nature. Go ahead and roll me a
nature roll. Yeah, Franklin would know, but I
feel like this is what happened last time. That's
a 19. We were in the woods and about to encounter
this lady and there were, like, no animal voices.
19 plus shit. Yeah, she's killed all of them.
Yeah, so I'm assuming you got, like, a pretty
high roll, so. Yeah. So, yeah, so you're noticing
that as you're getting in there, some of the
trees look like they're not as rich and full
as some of the ones on the outside. They look
like almost as, like, some of, like, they have
been drained a little bit. Oof. This is, uh,
some very, your horse, I'm sure you feel it,
this is some very evil, man, I touch a tree.
Wait, how far ahead of them are you going? 50
feet. Okay, um. Yeah, that's perfect. What's
your passive perception? 16. Yeah, so you, uh.
I'd like to not be far from you, actually. Okay.
Like, like, like, within, like, 20 feet, just,
like, off to a side. Okay. Yeah, so, um. If I
see them continue walking, I will continue. I
mean, whatever pace they keep up, I can't see
them, they can see me. So whatever pace they're
walking at, I'm just going to be walking at my
normal walking pace. Yeah, so the same thing.
Some of the noise is a little quieter as you're
walking. You have heavy footsteps because of
your armor. So you're kind of hearing yourself
crunch more as you're kind of just noticing that
your steps are getting a little louder as the
rest of the noise around you is as loud. I'm
going to relay to everybody around us. We're
in the right spot. There are predators nearby.
There's some very evil magic. Are you sensing
them, or are you just saying that? I'm saying
that, because not only would Johara snow, but
this is just a fact. If you're in an area where
there's a lot of ambient animal noise, like birds
chirping and whatnot, and then it goes quiet
and feels still, there's a predator nearby. Right.
So you said I notice it gets quieter? Yeah, because
you're noticing your footsteps. I cast my magical
awareness real quick. Oh yeah, I was going to
do primeval awareness. That's what I was wondering
what you were doing. 60 feet. So it's essentially
detect magic in 60 feet. Cool. He's doing primeval
awareness. I was going to, but since he's doing
that, I don't know if I want to double up. Well,
you can because you don't know what he's doing.
Because your character wouldn't know that he's
doing it, so. Personal awareness is a much bigger
range. Yeah. Yours is like a two -mile range.
Yeah, so if your character wouldn't know that
he's doing this, so innately you'd probably do
it on your own. And you also aren't close enough
to him because he's kind of further ahead. You
don't really know what he's doing. But they're
looking at two different things anyway. Yeah,
because he's further ahead, so... It's up to
one mile. Oh, shit. But it's your favorite terrain
in the woods, right? Let's see. We're up to six
miles, if you're in your favorite terrain. Yeah,
you're right. So, up to six miles around, I can
detect any aberrations, celestials, dragons,
elementals, fae, fiends, or undead. Does it give
you a number, or does it just tell you the...
No, it's just... I sense all of them. It's like
a blimp. Yeah, within that six -mile radius.
It's like a radar. Yeah, you just kind of like,
boop. Yeah, exactly. Oh, yeah, your radar's going
off real bad. There's undead in aberrations nearby.
I have my mini. Oh, shit. Thank you, though.
That's actually fucking sick. So you're seeing
some of the... So you kind of notice some of
the trees kind of... So when you have magic wonders,
is it kind of like tech magic where you notice
a glow or something? Yeah, it's literally just
a tech magic, but... It's not a spell. It's just
me naturally doing it. Yeah, so you notice that,
like, on some of these trees that look a little
withered, there is, like, sigils in there. Okay.
What class? Class of magic. It's druidic. Druidic.
Yes. I see the druidic magic. Yeah, but you don't...
You can't tell... No, but I know it's Druidic
stuff. That's all I... That's all Nix would really
need to know. Knowing who I'm hunting and seeing
Druidic magic. I can infer from there. So, I
would like to have my weapon drawn. Cool. I have
to take a shit. I'll be right back. As you guys...
You can draw your weapon. You guys are seeing
him, like... You see him pause. Actually, you
guys see him... Yeah, so you guys see him, like...
go to a tree, pause, and then you see him draw
his sword. Uh, yeah, we'll try to get up to him.
I'll be right back. Yeah, be near your horse.
Hey, Nick, what's your tier again? Uh, at the
moment, 22. Okay, um... It's about to go down
in the near future, but at the moment, it's 22.
Okay, so yeah, as you see Nick turn around in
panic, you see, uh... a figure drop down on top
of him. Ooh! Huh? Oh, yeah. Is it a dwarf? No,
no, no. It's a big figure as a... Nyx, you, uh,
you... So, from on top of you, uh... Can I dex
save against this? No, this is... No, he, uh,
this is an attack. Um... Fuck. What'd you do
to drop on him? I gave him the good old slam.
Before him. Uh, no, so you guys didn't see this
as, like, uh... You guys were kind of focused
on Nyx, and you saw him, like, kind of panicking,
and, like, you saw him, like, looking at a tree
stop and then look around and pull out a sword.
So you guys kind of focus on that and you see
a huge figure just jump down on you as you take
14 points of damage. You guys notice this big
holding figure on top of you is the top half
is an ape, bottom half is a bear. Does this count
as an aberration? Does it light up for me? Oh
yeah, this thing is not natural. Would he show
up, then, with your detect magic stuff? He would
have showed up for my primeval awareness. It
shows, like, spells and stuff. It shows spells.
It's all, like, magical creatures. So I can see
the sigil. I couldn't see him. Yeah. I could
have seen him, though. Yeah, so you see this
thing drop down. So it's, like, the top is, like,
the top half of, like, an ape, and the bottom
is the top half of a bear. So there's two heads.
Okay. You said the bottom is the top half of
a bear? Yes. So it's ass to ass? Yes. It's more
like stomach -to -stomach. Yeah, pretty much,
yeah. Yeah. Cat -dog. Yeah. Alright. I was gonna
say that. I was gonna say that. I was like, try
to... Because I was thinking two bodies, and
then I was like, two asses, and I was like, oh,
cat -dog. Yeah, four asses. Twelve damn nicks.
It's not a goddamn nicks. You're like, what the
fuck? And it looks like a... The eyes don't look
like regular eyes, so the eyes are kind of like...
Pits of black. Okay. And everyone roll initiative.
Let's go. Oh, my God. We're going to get it out
of the way now. Natural. One. 19. Nice. All right,
let's do it. I guess it's good that I'm at last,
right? Yeah. I got a 15. Let's see what happens.
Decide if it's attack time or support time. No,
do it again. Do you want me to? Oh, you're going
to write it? I'm just doing it. Oh, fuck yes.
I didn't even think of that. That's some good
shit. Do you want it, Gonzo, towards you or towards
us? Towards you guys is fine. He knows where
he's got to put in his stuff. Go around the table
here. Mark, what did you get? I got 13. Mark
got 13? Yeah. 15. You got 15. I got 14. So Mark
and Brown put this cool plexiglass stuff on there
that they can use whiteboard markers on. It's
acrylic. Acrylic, that's what it is. I couldn't
remember the name of it. Acrylic. I have 19.
Yeah. What'd you get? Natural 1. Okay, so you're...
Bottom. Yeah. And... Bad guys are gonna be...
Bad guys have 17. Oh, wow. Yep. And... Gas. 17.
And then, uh, it doesn't really matter what he
got. Jalen's going first. Yep. I forgot what
it is. I just knew you were up first. 19. Yeah.
Jalen. Jalen, bad guy. Yeah. Ryan. Ryan, Ben.
Ben, Mark, me. Are you Mr. Durban? Nope. All
right. True. Cool. All right. So, of course,
he's going to roll. With my passive perception
of 19, do I only see this one person? As of right
now, you see the one creature. So you're being
pinned down so it doesn't copy you I did like
with a just you felt this they just I'd land
top of you pin you down and just Yes, so how
would that work with a misty stuff no missing
me You're trying to struggle you're like this
thing is strong as shit I was gonna say with
this part it's a little hard to that one is so
much if you wanna Well, it's also acrylic. Yeah,
acrylic is pretty sturdy. Cool. Well, I don't
really know how... Imagine the fucking riot shields
that police can sometimes have. Oh, with the
glass. It's kind of similar material to that.
It's very hard to break. Actually, you know what?
You're a fog of war. It should be hard to break.
But we'll just use this guy instead. Because
he's a flat bottom, so you won't knock him. We
like the flat bottom girls. Flat bottom girls.
Do they mix rock and roll to go around? Yeah.
Do you smack them? Yeah, I get behind him and
smack him. Oh, right. Uh, actually... Well, actually,
he doesn't have an ass. Now that I'm behind him,
and I'm raging, I'm pissed, I'm like, you fucked
up now! And I drop the shield, pick up the weapon
with two hands. Alright. And I use gray weapon
method. Wait, so your missing step was a bonus
action? Yeah. It comes with my rage. Oh, so that's...
That's considered a bonus action because it was
his rage. So you raged to the bonus action. Yeah.
You used your initial action to try to break
the grapple, right? No. My first action was to
rage. You said you just teleport out of there.
Yeah. Without having to break the grapple. Well,
I was wondering if he was raging and doing some
step work. That's part of my rage because I'm
a magical player. Yeah, I mean, that's what I
was wondering. I wasn't sure if you were doing...
The turn he rages, he gets to activate it, and
then on subsequent turns, it's a bonus action
to activate. Cool, that's what I was wondering.
I wasn't sure if it was going to be... Yeah,
yeah, yeah. Oh, okay. I get what you mean. I
was wondering if he was going to be using...
I see what he's saying. I see what he's saying.
Two bonuses. Yeah. First turn, free, baby. First
one's always free. All right. We got a celebrity.
There's a key. Okay, yeah, so you got that...
You are going to swing, so go ahead and swing.
Great weapon. Is it with advantage that I'm behind
her now? No. Okay. Do you see the bear head that
kind of raises his head and kind of... Oh, duh.
Forgot about that. Yeah. Well, it doesn't matter.
I still would have done that. The bottom half
head is facing the opposite way. He just went
through the legs. Son of a bitch. That's a 15
hit. It does not. Yeah, I figured. That was a
low one. Yo, its ass is going to eat you. That's
a 25 hit. 25 hits. Cool. It's got eyes on the
back of its ass. Bears. 28 damage. 28? Yep. That's
obscene. Alright. Try these belts. That's all
I'll do. I'll try that one too, yeah. So when
you slice into it, you're used to like normal
blood, but it doesn't bleed like a normal animal
would. So instead of like... Yeah, that's where
the 22 and 18 numbers come from. As you see The
since the bear heads close to you it's gonna
go ahead and try to bite you Does a natural 20
hit All right, so it's gonna be Well, I rolled
a one so it's gonna be eight points of damage.
Whoo What kind of damage? It's it's gonna be
a piercing damage. Whoo. Okay, so for uh, so
this is a Magical creature so it is doesn't matter.
Oh, yeah, cuz regular piercing. Yeah Cuz I just
that's this barbarian thing. Oh, yeah, I forgot
you're reaching. Yeah. Yeah, I forgot. Um, he's
right because I do forget Norse Yeah, so, uh,
yeah, so as you're saying bite, like, the bear
looks at you as it bites you, and then you see
the, uh, the top half go for a swing as well.
Okay. And that's gonna be a 16 to hit, so that
misses. As you see, uh, so the bottom bites you
as you kind of lunge, as, like, you kind of lunge
back just as the swing from the top is going
as it just misses you. Cool. And then, uh, you,
you, um, hear the, uh, the ape heart just start
pounding his chest, let out a mighty roar. It
kind of just shakes the trees. And that's its
turn. As you saw... The trees are sleeping. Alright,
Yoharis. You just saw the bear bite into Nyx
in the top swing, but miss. And you heard that
roar that shook the trees. Whoa. I shoot him
with my bow. I'm going to be using my plus one
arrows as well. All right. Go ahead and roll
hit. All right. That's a dirty 20. That hits.
All right. And his toothpick is fucking fantastic.
We're using a barbarian dice. All right. That
is 14 damage. All right. And I get actually...
Do the plus one arrows also do an additional
plus one on top of what I just rolled? Yeah.
Okay, so 15 damage. Cool. And I get two attacks,
so I'm going to do it again. Oh, fuck yeah. That's
26 to hit. Oh, that hits. And... I cast... Well,
that's seven plus two, nine, ten. So an additional
ten damage. And that will be my turn. All right.
I see, like, the same thing. They kind of stick
into the creature as it, you know, it's hurt,
but still standing, so it looks very angry. How
is it looking? Like, is it looking really beat
up, or is it only, like, pissed off, like a little
bloody? A little bloody and really, really mad.
Okay, cool. Then I will... I'm going to, uh,
start up my blade song. Uh, gonna jump my AC,
give me some extra moves, read all that good
stuff. What song is playing for your blade song?
Um... You made the beat, boy. Uh... No, I think,
uh, because I'm starting from stealth, it's,
uh, the... and you're like you mean a little
closer than yeah and that's like you guys hear
that for half a second before i'm gonna cast
uh greater visibility and there's just the faint
echo of like damn that's a that's a good line
yes and i think i'm going to That is my turn.
So now it is Karun's turn. Am I still stealth?
Just curious. It doesn't really matter, I guess,
for... Yeah, you were kind of like stealth and
hiding, but yeah. Is a perception check an action,
or can I just do that? Well, if you're actively
stopping to look and perceive, that could be
your action. I mean, you have your passives.
What's your passive? Because depending on what
your passive is, you're aware of stuff around
you, but if you're going to... Actually, you're
going to take your time. Okay. I think I'm going
to stay stealthed and move over here. I'm going
to move right here. I'm going to use my action
to perceive. Alright, yeah. Because that roar
was loud. And I don't know how these animals
work. Alright, so go ahead and run perception.
We'll see if you're... So you're trying to listen
out for possibly more creatures suddenly coming?
18 plus 4 for turn 2. Yeah, so you... After all
the commotion, you move over there and you just
listen and you kind of hear like, as like, you
know, you hear like brush and getting moved,
like sticks cracking at something is coming here.
But you also do hear, you hear like the branches
and trees rustling from up top as well. Up top
as well? Yeah. Then I would like is just saying
stuff of reaction. Yeah, you can just shout something
real quick It's like six seconds. Just whatever
you okay? I Hear one in the trees and more on
the ground and then I'm gonna use my bonus action
for patient defense And I'm gonna just get ready
now. I realize I'm not stealth anymore. Yeah,
you get that clock you shout it together You're
just fucking re -scatting. Skitty, skat, skat.
Oh, I got Jalen. Watching Jalen eat that rope
in one bite. Oh, wow. He likes his rope. Oh,
wait. No, I don't need to do a patient defense
because they already have disadvantage to hit
me. For what? Because the... His cloak. Oh, yeah.
Wait, wait, wait. Are you wearing the cloak?
Yes, I am wearing the cloak. Let me ask you this.
If for some ungodly reason they had advantage,
Cloak would cancel that out. Would a patient
defense re -add that in, or is it just, there's
no going back, it's just normal after that? One
-on -one. Yeah. One -on -one, but, I mean, if
I could, I'd probably do it. Okay, yeah, I'm
gonna do that. Just the shits and gigs. Alright,
then that, yeah, that's it for me. Um, I feel
like that was weird. Oh, yeah. So, yeah, uh,
it is your turn now. You said you're this guy?
Yeah. You want to move? Yeah, I wish Jalen didn't
go to the other side. Or Nyx. I'm going to move...
Just move me seven spaces straight to him. You're
going to flank him? Seven? No, but on that last
one, can you move me a diagonal space just away
from you? Yeah, just right there. And as a bonus
action, I'm going to cast... At the second level,
healing word. It would be more, but you moved.
It's okay. No, I'll do it. Shit, where's my D4s?
Oh, it's better that you're not grappled. Oh
yeah, no, it's better that you're not grappled.
He says fuck the shit out of my mouth. I just
realized why I was confused initially on... your
rage because i remember you rolled for your your
rage thing i thought you're rolling for an attack
oh no yeah yeah a wild magic table to see what
kind of rage i had yeah because i was thinking
about it because i was like i forgot about you
just popped in my head right now so yeah wow
i i rolled literally three watts on those d4s
but it's a plus five so that puts me at full
health oh that puts you back to full health barbarian
i didn't get hurt too bad oh okay yeah it sounded
like when those first numbers came out i was
like damn he's fucked up already yeah But yeah,
so 8 HP back to you. That's actually literally
all I need to go back to 12. As an action, just
because I can, I'm just going to cast Sacred
Flame. Makes sense. Yeah, cantrip. It's a save.
Oh, yeah, he's right. My bad. I just rolled a
d20. It was pretty good, too. Damn it, man. Dexterity.
Of what, then? 17. No, that's a fail. It's different
because I'm a cleric. Because the moonsickle
counts only as ranger spells and sacred flame
is considered a cleric spell. I think it's any
spells. Well, if that's the case, then it's 20.
Moonsickle is for cleric and ranger spells, right?
Rangers and druid. Druid, you're right. It just
requires attunement by a druid or a ranger. So
you essentially need to be a druid or ranger
to attune to it. But after that, it's plus three
to spell attack, rolls, and saving throws. Oh,
wait, no. Oh, shit. Of your Druid and Ranger
spells. So you're right. Never mind. Fuck off.
17. It's a roundabout way to say it. Was it 17
to hit? The 17 is the miss. Like, on your save.
Sorry. Oh, okay. Yeah, yeah. He rolled a five.
Yeah. All right. 2d8. Let's talk about numbers.
Yeah, I was like, oh, you rolled a five. Smurf.
five then a six 11 damage all right holy damage
from my god oh does that make a difference you
see it like recoil from the pain but it's still
standing um but that's my turn okay back up to
jalen all right nick it's your turn you swung
on this thing You notice the weird smell on your
blade? Fuck it. Like, that's new. I recklessly
swing menacingly. Stack a ball! Nat 20. Yay!
Fucked. That's a great weapon mastery too! You're
about to turn this back on the two animals. Oh
shit! Yep, you get a bonus action too. Cool,
cause that's three, so six, plus twenty, so twenty
-six. Twenty -six damage? Yep. Alright. Rip and
tear until it is done. Hell yeah. And I keep
doing it. Alright, go ahead. It's still standing.
Oh wait, shit, wait. I forgot to roll my medicine
back. Ooh, eight! That's another eight damage.
And he needs to make a... The save is 17, but...
Wisdom. Wisdom save is 17. What's the effect?
Fear. Can't be feared? It's an aberration. Yeah,
I think it's an aberration. Okay. Well then,
I still swing. 19 plus 7, 26. To hit. Why won't
you die? Can you kill what's already dead? And
you're like, I'm a cleric, actually. 26 damage.
Just gotta pray over this. Still standing. And
then I do it one more time since I got a crit.
We can just all hold on for a minute while I
take a little something. He's just swinging with
all his might. As you're seeing this as well,
normally what you would see is it's not normal
color blood that's coming out. What color is
it? It's like a dark, like, viscous, like, green.
Mmm. Like Baby Duty. Kind of almost like a slime.
Powered by baby shit. Hey, yo, what's good, slime?
Dirty 20 to hit. Yep. And then 24 damage. All
right. Still standing. How bloody is it looking?
It's real bloody. Still standing. And it still
looks just as bad. Like, bloody, it's green.
Regular attacks and then you're done. Listen
here, motherfucker. How slimy is that? 26, 8,
24. I don't know what's coming up. That was a
loud york. This is really funny. I just imagined
Nyx popping out the center. I was like, I'm just
going to turn it back in. This is what I rolled
against to attack you. Did you do all your attacks?
Yeah, I'm done. Look at this. Wait, you did three?
Plus you're a great weapon master? So I did 26,
26, 8, 24. Plus those three. Damn! Well, you
have disadvantage. Well, he had disadvantage
against you, so. Um, yeah. So, uh... Haroon,
you, uh... As, as, after you had done your yell,
you turn around and, um... This thing, it kind
of, like, jumps out from the brush. As you see,
like, uh... This giant snake just kind of jump
at you. And just... Just hits the tree next to
you. I used to miss you. I miss snake. As you
see the, uh... The first head hit the tree. As
you see, instead of what a normal tail would
be, it's just another snake head. Is this just
as big as the other thing? Yeah, it's a long
snake. It's about... The snake looks like it's
about 10 feet. It's almost the size of Nick's
third leg? Yep. Both ends have... Just lay him
down. I'm excited for Nick to be able to... I'm
a helicopter in real life. I'm gonna start whipping
that thing. I'm a rotor wing aircraft. I start
working my tails. Oh, shit. Perfect. I got perfect
defense. And then, um... You can have dick tassels.
I have a whole bunch of green ones ready. Go
ahead. There's going to be... Actually, let me
roll it down and see how many pop up. So there's
going to be five of them popping out. Okay. As
you see kind of from the trees as these different
creatures just all jump and come down. They're
coming from all directions as each of you are
targeted by these... creatures coming out. Even
the invisible monsters? Not you. I was going
to say, Ryan? So everyone who's visible and two
will pop up next to where Lazaga is. What the
fuck? I got you, boo. Well, let Nick worry about
the big thing. I mean, obviously they'd fall
down in a flanking pattern, right? What? Mark!
We're on the same team! Okay, so I'm going to
move this one maybe right here? Yep, and then
one, two, yeah, there's already one on you. Perfect,
we're good. Okay. So, yeah, so these are the
five creatures plus the abomination in the center.
Yeah, so as Nick, you notice the thing that comes
out of the woods to get you is what was a man,
but instead of legs, it's their arms? And the
torso has other arms as well. So it looks like
it's a person with arm legs and six arms on the
torso. Oh, God. Arm torso. He's armed. Heavily
armed. He's armed and dangerous. Where the head
of a human would be, there's a head of an owl.
Okay. Who? Who? Horton. Does your owl take that
personally? Oh, yeah. Now the owl's like saying
if I had to kill him. He's just doing like this.
He's just rotating all the way. That's cultural
appropriation. Get him. Talk to him. Talk to
him. Get your boy. So the first head managed
to miss you. The other head's going to go ahead
and try to bite you, Harun. I'm assuming 12 doesn't
hit. No. Yeah. I wrote my AC down over here.
Oh, you probably can't see it. Yeah, I can't
see past the board, yeah. Oh, that's cool. Yeah,
so the other head still kind of goes to hit you,
but same thing you might have just said, be too
quick for a snake. Sleepy snake. As you notice,
the first part of the snake is yellow, and the
other part of the snake is black. So it's just
like two different colored snakes that have been
fused together. So you're saying it's black and
yellow? Black and yellow. Black and yellow. You
know what it is. I'm a snake. I'm a snake. There's
layers. Tear of a tooth. How's that song go?
She moves her body like a cyclone. Oh, yeah.
That's mixed. I mean, that extra attack also...
That's all in six seconds, bro. That's pretty
fast. Just ask the dwarves how well Nyx can swing
those hips. Wop, wop, wop, wop, wop. Nyx, fuck
him up. Nyx, it's all in the hips. Ask the dwarves
how you swing your hips. Why is he moving his
ass so much when he swings his hips? Because
the hips don't lie. It's the counterbalance.
It's like, why is his ass so toned? He's like,
oh, it's from all the exercise. It's all the
head thrust. Are they attacking? Oh, they're
attacking, yeah. So, Nyx, you're going to be
getting attacked as well as the arm creature
is there. And then I'll just grab the other ones
as I get to you guys. So, Nyx, you're getting
attacked by the ape bear. It's going to be a
20 not natural to hit. Yep. That's going to be
9 damage. So that's going to be 4 damage for
you. And that's going to be 22 to hit. That's
going to be 14 damage from the 8 bear. And then
the R man is going to swing on you as well. That's
going to be a 23. Jesus. It didn't even matter
if I had my shield. These are all still hitting.
That's going to be... They're flagging me. That's
going to be... Eight damage. And then it's going
to go ahead and swing at you again. Fifteen doesn't
hit. So the other attack misses. One arm swings
at you and the other arm swings above you. Hold
on. You're getting flanked by two creatures.
I didn't do anything! Why are y 'all coming after
me? So similar to the other humans. This one
is all legs. Gross. So it's all legs, and where
the head would be is a foot. Yeah, we call those
legsies. Yeah. So this one is just a human with
just, there's legs and feet coming out from all
over. So there's a random foot coming out the
chest as it's just covered in feet and toes everywhere.
Don't worry, I'll go over there next round, turn
into an octopus, and I'll give each feet ten
tickles. Has anyone ever played The Forest? Yes.
Oh, yeah. You're really going out on a limb here,
guys. Okay, and then the one behind you is the
top half is a human with his eyes and mouth,
looks like they're sealed shut. And the bottom
half is a kobold. Cobalt? Yeah, like the lizard
people things. Oh. Yeah. Dragon adjacent. Yeah.
The head version? The head part of it? Yeah.
Interesting. All right. All right. Cool. That's
going to haunt my dreams as they attack me. Yeah,
that's the thing. So the kobolds whose eyes are
open, pure black. You know, where you would see
normal eyes, just pure black. Same thing with
the, actually the foot features on their eyes,
but. Yeah, yeah, they're gonna they're attacking
you so that's gonna be let's see 20 not natural.
Yeah All right, so you're gonna you're gonna
kick That's gonna be seven damage Leg Z. Yep,
and then I'm assuming a 24 hits. Yeah Leg Z kicks
you again as you multiple kicks come at you and
this one's gonna be five damage The human kobold
is a Gonna take a swing at you as the top half
of the head just swings its head at you. What
a dick. But I'm assuming a 13 hit? No. And then
the bottom half is gonna take a bite at you,
and I'm assuming it doesn't hit? No! Yeah! Oh,
oh, oh, I forgot to mention this. So the one
that hit me... Legsy, yeah. Yeah, Legsy. Can
he make a dexterity saving throw for Wrath of
the Storm? Yep. This is my reaction. Uh, 18.
18? Yep. Damn, he does save, but he's still going
to take half damage. Uh, 3 and 7, so 10 damage
halved, so he takes 5 damage. Alright. Uh, lightning
damage, if that helps at all. Oh yeah. He's an
agile fucker. Alright, so then, um... Bro, it's
because this is a cat house. Damn. And then,
uh, Yoharis, you're getting attacked as well
as, um... Oh, no. The creature that's attacking
you is, um... So top half is human. But, um...
Similar to the ones you saw before, instead of
eyes, it's mouths. And... His nipples are mouths.
His belly button's also a mouth. And then it
looks like the palms of his hands also have mouths
on them as well. What'd that mouth do? Mouths.
And then you notice as he's kind of raising his
arms, there's armpits on his... His armpits are
also mouths. Oh, that's the worst. There are
mouths on his armpits. That's the worst so far.
Yeah. Ugh. It's like a dog's tongue where it's
just hanging out loose and floppy, but it's a
dead human one. Honestly, I'm just picturing
how easy it would be for it to eat when it was
just like flapping its arms. That one doesn't
get much airflow because its mouth is always
closed most of the time because your arms are
down. So yeah, it's like, it's tared to freaks
in that mouth. Not the flaccid tongue out of
the armpit mouth. Flaccid. Oh, it's not flaccid.
And then the bottom half of this thing is an
elf. So it's like, and the, uh, and then the
eyes of both the top and bottom half is pure
black. That's fucked up. Alright. I wasn't bothered
up until that last part. Alright, how does it,
how does it do? Uh, so, it goes to, like, The
top and bottom half are taking swings at you.
Okay. Does a 16 hit? Yes. Out of curiosity, is
it doing any elemental damage? No. Okay. That's
going to be 12 damage. The first one? Oh. And
then 13 to hit? That one does not. Yeah, okay.
So the first attack hits. Second misses as the
bottom arm leg goes to hit you and misses. Alright,
well, that did away with my temporary HP. Remember,
everybody had temporary 10 HP. Yeah, the giant
beast did mine. Yeah, because of that, now I
only have lost 2 HP of my regular because of
that. Alright, that is their turn. It is now
your turn, your horse. This monstrosity just
came at you and unnatural creatures attacked
you. Thanks to you. As you're looking in his
mouth eyes. Stop it in the mouth. I'm looking
at some spells Yeah, I'm gonna cast a bark skin
on myself the second level Which now I have an
AC of 16 bark bark bark bark motherfucker And
because I have two attacks that means I'm gonna
hit it with my longsword With your schlong sword?
Yup, that is, um... Does a ten hit? Does not.
Alright. Uh... Then I'm gonna do a little bit
of movement, and then I'm gonna... It's a good
time opportunity if you do move. Fuck! Alright.
You can if you want. We're gonna try to free
some of you guys up, so... Mm -hmm. I'll do my
best. Um... No real props. Next, that's a word.
I don't wanna use my Misty Step yet. Actually,
would Overbite Lasagna, would they still be flanking
if I Misty Stepped to the guy that's on my right?
They would still be flanking, you could just
flank them instead. I'm gonna do that. Yeah,
you can do that, and then you would be flanking
that person in between. Gotcha. And he would
also get flanking. So, Lozanga, if you wanted
to talk about flanking him. Yeah, you can do
that. Missy step out of there. So, what form
are you in? I'm in my summer form. So, he gets
dealt fire damage equal to that of my charisma
modifier. So, he gets dealt one fire damage when
I face step over there. Alright. Fuck yeah, burn
his ass. Mark, if you would be so kind as to
move my mini, since you have the large rod. Which
one? Um, over there. Two, yeah, perfect. Where?
Over here? One more. Perfect. Is this guy dead?
No. Oh, you just did? No, I just wanted to get
out. Um, Ben, does the fire damage look... Like
it went through 100 %? Yeah, it did. Oh, yeah.
Okay. I'm going to cast a 5th level Scorching
Ray. Which is going to let me do 6 bolts of...
6 Scorching Ray bolts. Each of which I get to
roll 3d20 on. Which one are you hitting? I'm
going to start with... This one here? No, it's
going to be Legs of Yari. Yeah, Legs. He kicks...
He's kicking ass. Kick the fuck? Kick Lasagna
right in the face. I'm going to make sure he
doesn't have a leg to stand on. It's going to
be a nat 20 on that one. Oh, yeah. So first bolt
of damage there is going to be eight. Actually,
sorry. 14 points of fire damage. All right. First
bolt. Hit him with a second. How's he looking
after that first one? Burning, but still standing.
Cool. Then my second bolt, my six. For a 28 to
hit. What? Cool. That's seven more fire damage.
All right. Okay. Cool. Third bolt. That's going
to be a 29 to hit. Oh, yep. For six damage, fire
damage. All right. Fourth bolt. God damn. That's
going to be a 30 to hit. Holy shit. For 9 fire
damage. It is still alive. Looking more weary,
but still alive. That's cool. Fifth bolt. That's
going to be a 22 to hit. That hits. For 5 damage.
Still alive? Still alive. Alright, cool. Six
bolt. For... Uh, 21 to hit. That hits. That's
eight damage? Fire damage? Yep, sounds like you
think it's good. Yay, I killed it! Yay! You see
Legzi just kick you in the face, but you see
these bolts of fire just from nowhere. I don't
know where. Help this thing and just turn into
ash right in front of you. I didn't know I had
Hailish Rebuke. Wait, hold on, that was... I
did this. I'm going to... I don't really know
how much of the bones I can do right now. I will...
You're still invisible, right? I use greater
invisibility. So I'm going to go ahead and not
be wearing a mask. Thanks. All right. And I believe
that's my turn. I don't think I have any bonus
action fun stuff to use. Oh, sweetie! And that's
the rotation I want. I'll take super, super advantage.
I have Elven hackers. So the idea is that I go
invisible and then I have a thing that lets me
just fire up a ton of bolts. The beatdown madness.
The chaos and the bling. And your turn, Harlan.
My turn? Try to run something similar, but with
a warlock and elderblast. Um... Gotta hit the
snake! After I just, like, dodged all these stakes,
I'm gonna be like... I'm gonna kind of shrug.
Shrug! Um... So, yeah, I'm gonna try to, uh...
Hit him with my dagger. That is 23. Oh, that
hits. Okay. Eight points of damage. And then
I'm going to Fury of Blows him. 26. Always. Ooh,
8. So 8 plus 4 is another 12 points of damage.
Alright. I was looking at... I'm gonna make it
make a deck saving throw. Okay. Of DC 16. Alright.
15. Okay, then it falls prone. It's a snake.
Yeah. Well, you said it was like a... I thought
you said it was like two snakes and a body. No,
two snakes. Instead of having a tail, the other
end is another snake head, so it's two snake
heads. It's like the... So, I mean, yeah, you
can't really... Then can I... Well, the other
effect I can do with that one is I can push it
15 feet back. Yeah, you can push it 15 feet back.
Okay, so I'm going to do that for funsies. We'll
see. Knock it back here. And then after I do
that, I'm going to just run in anyway and come
in with another attack. I just wanted to show
what's up. Yeah, show your dominance. Let them
know. Okay, I still get one more Frearia Blows.
That is 18. 18 hits. Okay. God, I hope so. Another
10 points of damage. Damn, Harun's making this
snake black and blue. Um... And now for my second
attack action, because that was the dagger and
my fury of blows, which is a bonus, so I have
another attack action. That one's not as good.
Fifteen. Fifteen hits. Oh, okay. Alright. And
that's fourteen points of damage. Oh, right.
It is still alive. So you've noticed the same
thing as you're kind of stabbing? Hacking into
this, like, similar -looking ooze is coming out
of the stake as well. I'll just, just for clarity,
I'm also using my magical dagger and my fist
for magic. I just wanted to make sure. Yeah.
And then that's it for me. I want to kind of
do, like, a little boxer hop and, like, a little
air punch, and then that's it. All right. Will
is finally the dog this turn. I did just knock
him back and then you go... Lazogna is going,
for his bonus action, he is going to cast a 4th
level 4th level spiritual weapon. That was nice.
And I'm just going to plop it in between the
big guy and me. I think you just use that little
mini as him. Yeah, we'll just put this right
here. No, no, no, between the big guy and me.
So I'm going to use him, yeah, the spiritual
weapon on him. Cool, okay. It's going to be a
giant ladle in honor of Lazagna and Remy. And
I can't attack with it this round, right? You
can. Oh, I can? You can use the rat. Nice. That
would be a good reason for the rat. I mean, for
a chef, it also would make sense for you to have
Ron Tuohy out here. Yeah. He's smacking at it.
15 plus 9. So 24 to hit. Do you do... Are you
going to do anything with your owl? 24 hits?
Yeah. This is force damage, by the way. All right.
2d8 plus 5. So 10 damage. 10 force damage to
him. All right. And then... I'm going to then
cast a 5th level Call Lightning on this. So a
giant storm is just going to come up around us
right now. Wait, so it would be the action to
cast and the bonus to... It's a bonus action
to cast... Can you attack? Yeah. You can attack
on the same turn, right? Okay, cool. And then
it's a bonus action after that to attack. Exactly,
to move it and attack. Alright, cool. So call
ending 5th level on the big band. on the big
bad he needs to make a dexterity saving throw
dexterity saving throw uh it's gonna be 18 18
so he fails and I'm going to also cast my channel
divinity channel divinity to use max damage which
is 50 lightning damage to him alright it's lightning
yeah Yeah, so you see this giant lightning strike
it, and it kind of like tumbles for a bit, but
it's still standing. It's squirking. Fuck. It's
looking withered, but still just not backing
down. Why won't you go down? That's my turn.
All right. So, Nick, you saw this weapon attack
it, and then the lightning strike it. I recklessly
attack. That is a 19 hit. 19 hits. 30 damage
all right it is still barely standing I recklessly
hit it again he's a young Arthur Morgan Uh, 24
damage. Alright. Uh, Nix, how do you kill this
thing? Ugh, yeah! Uh, straight down the middle.
I separate the two animals. You want to just
cut it in half and saber it? Yeah. Yeah. I see
Nix has been kind of hacking at it. As you see
him, he's taking Chuck from the side. With one
last sweep, just cuts it in half. As both halves
just topple and fall lifelessly to the floor.
And then I get an extra attack because I killed
it, right? Yep, you sure do. So then I turn around,
and I'm like, you're next. And I hit him. You're
going to hit Army. Army, yeah. I thought you
said A, Army. I'm like, oh, no. Oh, no. How did
we not notice? 18 hits, yeah. Does Army have
a hammer? 25 damage. All right, yeah, it's still
alive. I'm looking pretty hurt. Uh. Okay, it's
gonna get opportunity to cool That's gonna be
23 to hit I'll go ahead that's gonna be sick
damage All right, is that your turn? Yeah, yeah,
oh now it's their turn and It will go ahead and
move back to flank position on you with the other
one so now late Get over here. As they're going
to attack you. Actually, we'll start with Harun.
Harun, you're getting attacked by the snakes.
So the first one was a 1 to attack the missus.
And the second one is going to be a 16 to hit.
And that's a disadvantage. Oh, I forgot about
that. Cloak. Yeah, still 16, cause second one's
18. Yeah, that doesn't hit. 16 doesn't hit? Cool.
Wait, it's 19. Oh, his DC is 16. Yeah, my DC's
16, my AC's 19. You can clearly read there. Yeah.
DM, get on board, let's go. Yeah, look over that
big ol' wall you have. Hey, I'll put it over
here. 19. And a little arrow. Boop. All right,
so you have sickness as both attacks on you.
I just had him start doing my bottom. Bob and
weave. Bob and weave. Five Ds of dodgeball. Do
one of these. Dive and dodge. Dive and dodge.
Nick, the army's going to swing at you. The first
one's 16. Nope. second one and a not natural
20 yep that's gonna be seven points of damage
okay and then the other creature is gonna also
take a swing at Zogna which one the one that's
on the other side of you the one you're facing
directly now so he swings at Lazagna okay cool
that's an 18 hit Lazagna it does Give me 12 damage.
Okay. Yeah. And your reaction was, what was your
reaction? To hit him recklessly with a nat 20.
All right. Yeah. Fucking let's go. 18 plus 20,
38 damage. All right, yeah. So that thing is
still alive. Pretty hurt. As it's going to go
ahead and take its other swing at Lizong. How
dare you kick him. Or no, sorry, I killed the
kicker. It's going to take you to swing at you
now since you hit it, so it's going to swing
at you now. Go ahead. So the first kick, second
kick... It's not a kicker. No, this is... I killed
the kicker. This is the half elf and then the
half cobalt. Yeah, the half human, half cobalt.
So that one's going to hit you with a nat 20
for the second hit, first hit miss. So it's going
to be... Ten damage to me. Yep, and then I Was
going to because they hit me can I was going
to use my reaction he needs to make a dexterity
saving throw That's gonna be a 13 13 he fails
No, no, this is a wrath of the storm. Yeah, I
could use this as many times as my wisdom modifier,
which is five Cool. And no long rest. Uh, eight
plus four, twelve. Twelve lightning damage. Okay,
yeah, so, um, as the, uh, after... Basically.
So, uh, Nick, so after you had, uh, stabbed it,
it goes, um, you stab and then it kicks you,
but then you see, like, the lightning after,
like, Zagna kind of gets his bearings. You see
this lightning course through it and just turn
this thing to ash. Nice. Which one? The one right
there in between. Yeah, so Lasagna, the one you
were flanking is now turned to ash. And then
Yoharis, you have moved over. That was your character,
right? Yeah. No, that's Ben. Oh, it's Ben. That's
me. Never mind. So this one's going to go ahead
and move to attack Yoharis. He's going to go
ahead and move to Yoharis. Is this Yoharis? Yes.
That one's going to go ahead and... That one's
a half elf, half human. It's going to take a
swing at you. First attack, I'm assuming a 13
doesn't hit. Does not. Second one is a 9. Does
not. So yeah, both attacks go ahead and he's
swinging wildly and... Misses you both times.
He's barking up the wrong tree. It's a half -elf,
half -human. Some call it a half -elf. Whoa.
Goddamn. Wow. Someone gets it. It can be a half
anything else. Exactly. All right, so yeah, that's
our turn. Your heart is your turn as this thing
followed you and tried to hit you but missed
oh Boy, howdy here. I'll go kill him again All
right, well I do have right here this longsword,
so we're gonna try and hit it There's a 17 hit
17 it is For damage All right. That's what happens
when it mouths off of you. Yeah. And then I have
two attacks, so I'm going to hit it again. Does
a nine hit? It does nine. Okay. Well, that's
my turn. All right. It is now time for Franklin
to do what Franklin does best. That's going to
surprise you guys, but more fire. I don't want
to know if he's going to do what Franklin does
best. I don't think fire is his best. Honestly,
Harun looks like he might be a lost cause. It's
fine. That's so funny you're like, protect Harun.
And he's just over there like... Yeah, he's fine.
But yeah, I'm gonna go ahead and just toss out
a fourth level tiny trumpet. Tiny trumpet. That's
what I figured. There's nothing tiny about that.
Tiny trumpet. That is a loose canal. That is
what that is. And I am going to throw out a fourth
level Scorching Ray, which is going to give me...
Five five volts. Cool. So Which one is looking
more injured let's do that first first one behind
me, right? Okay. All right. Let's soul this army
For seven fire damage, all right Number one,
nat 20. All right. That one's going to do 14
fire damage. That one is dead. Same thing, you
see the fire from, you don't know where it's
coming from, but two more fire bolts hit it,
and the thing also gets turned to ash. Honestly,
it is probably a little scary, just by virtue
of, like, I'm moving a lot in between, so it's
just coming from, like, random angles. This guy's
dead. Wait, you have true sight up to how much?
Ten feet. I've been staying well out of ten feet.
I was like, wait, never mind. With my passive
perception of 19... No. I'm straight up invisible.
I'm not stealthy. Stealthing? You see fire. And
then, so, let me just get these remaining three
bolts out at mouth. The mouth? He's mouthing
out, yeah. 28. We haven't seen Franklin do much
in combat. Next one. That's another nat 20. Every
time a fight starts, you disappear. He's gone.
In a hypothetical where I have two nat 20s, can
I do max? We'll do it like normal. We'll do it
like normal since we're playing that way. I was
like, you get two nat 20s? Well, I got two nat
20s and a nat 1, so I'm pulling out over here.
Well, you rolled two nat 20s? Yeah, that's what
I'm saying. Oh, I thought you meant like in a
row. No, no, go ahead. I can do max? Yeah. 24
fire damage. Perfect. I thought you meant like
in a row. Oh, no, no. I would never do that to
you. That's three 920s in this turn. Yeah. Still
alive. Looking real hurt. That's okay. We got
two more. And that's going to be a 31 for a further
11 fire damage. It's looking pretty rough, but
still alive. That's okay. Last one. That's going
to be a 27. for more Fireman. It is still standing.
Fantastic. Can you cast Greater Invisibility
on somebody else? Maybe. I haven't really bothered.
That'd be nuts on her own. You see water splash
up. My question is... Can I bonus action hit
something with the light weapon? If I have an
attack with a main weapon. That's what I'm saying.
I don't have two weapons fighting, but normally
if you have two light weapons, you can do one
and two even if you don't have your modifier
on the off. But I don't know how that works if
I use Spell. I think we'll take care of this
guy that's really low. I'm just curious, though.
Don't you get an attack with your bonus action
as a Bladesinger? No. I've seen Rogues hit with
their offhand, and they didn't even do any main
hand damage. We'll come back to that later. Yeah,
I'm just curious. But with that, that's all my
stuff. I'm curious about it, too. We'll go on
Reddit later. Yeah. That's all I got, though.
I'm out. All right, that is now Haroon's turn.
Yeah, the giant snake is still... It's looking
a little hurt, but still standing in front of
you, so... Okay, I would like to move around
this way while keeping in its range. All right.
Now he's taking the snake from the back. Bobby
Lee, Bobby Lee, Bobby Lee. Ricky Bobby. And so
I'm going to roll my attack for my dagger. Yeah,
that hits. That is 28. Nice. 28 damage? 28. To
hit? To hit. Oh, hell with that. No, it didn't.
I haven't dagged her. On one attack? No, you
can't do that. Yeah, you're not Nix. 12 points
for that one. All right. And I'm going to do
Fiorian Blows. Fury of Blows. Natural 20. Nice.
So I remove my D8. Oh, and I got a 7 plus 4 is
11, so 22 points of damage on that one. That's
pretty good. And I'm going to make him do a Dexterity
saving throw. Doctor Probe. Okay, then I hit
with my other Fury of Blows. That one is... 15?
15 hits. Okay. Damage. Another 9 points of damage.
Alright. And another deck save. 16? Oh damn,
meets it, meets it. Alright, so he doesn't get
pushed. And then now for my second of my actual
attack action. That one is 30, 20. Oh, it hits.
And that is another 11 points of damage. All
right, it is still clinging on to life, just
barely. Okay. That's it. Lazagna, it is your
turn. I put my hand to the sky and I just point
at that guy and be like... Which guy? The bad
guy in front of Yoharis. Malfi? Yeah. And my
lightning is going to strike down on him. He
needs to make a dexterity saving throw. That
is going to be 13. Alright, so he is going to
take 5d10. It's going to die, so... I'm going
to roll them, Gonzo. 4, 4... Eight. Another four.
So 16 plus four and then a one. So 21 damage.
21. As you see, there's a crater where the creature
once was. I just imagined the Minecraft lightning
strike sound effect. Yes. And there's now like
a small crater right in front of you where the
mouth... The armpit mouth is no longer looking
at you. And I'm going to move my spiritual weapon,
I'm going to point at it, and then move it 15
feet towards the snake. Oh, 20 feet. Bam. Oh,
you see that? Alright, yeah, so that is, uh,
is that your turn? Yep. Uh, Nix, it is your turn.
Can you still teleport? Yeah. You can teleport
and run, right? Yeah, that's what I was thinking.
I have just enough to make it a day. So, 5. Thank
you. 5, 10, 15, 20, 25, 30, 35. And then I'll
teleport the rest of the way, which... Is that
a bonus action? Yep, bonus action. Misty's dead.
Oh, you can use Misty's stuff? Yeah. Damn it,
I lost. Special. Special, boy. That's my subclass.
Oh, yeah, so uh, yes, you're flanking Cool I
recklessly You know what? Yeah, actually, I'm
gonna do it menacingly. He's coming at me. Menacingly!
Uh, 31 damage. Oh, yeah, it's dead. Are you also
cutting this one in half? Yeah, I'm gonna cut
and clean down the center. I love the thing that
Haroon's having fun just going, boop, boop, boop,
stab, stab, boop, boop, boop. And then he's just
like, come on. And all of a sudden, Nick's just...
You see him come and just slice it in half right
in front of you and just, it's like, stops moving.
Not cool. Yeah. And you're like, Nick's just
like, you're welcome. Yeah. I did that. Yeah,
so you go through these beasts as a... Yeah,
so you guys are out of combat. You do see, like,
your weapons are coated in this weird... Green
slimy. My magic awareness to detect that magic
again. What do I see when I look at it? It is,
uh... Not really magic, but it's not... Do I
see, like, nothing? Well, it is, uh... So, it
was, like, uh... Would you see, like, a creature
that was, like... Would you... It's basically
detect magic. But would it... Would it be able
to tell, like, a creature with all four of my
magic, is what I'm saying. Because this is, like...
As an action, like, openers, construction magic.
I don't know if it's continuously magical. You
know the item? You know the location of any spell
or magic item within 60 feet of me? It's the
blood of magic item? No. Well, you said it has
resistance to non -magical damage. Does that
make it magical, or does that just make it tough?
It's just one of the features of the creature.
Can I roll an Arcana check? Yeah, you can roll
an Arcana check. Actually, you can roll a Nature
check on this. Nature check? Yeah. Can it be
an Arcana instead? You can, yeah. Alright. Can
I roll an animal handling to get an idea of the
sigil? No, you're going to roll nature checks.
Oh, that's okay. Turns it into a 19. You can
roll a card, too, since you want to roll a 2.
Oh, okay, it's not much. You did see the sigils,
too. Yeah, I did see the sigils. So my recline
is going to be a 26. Yeah, so this is definitely...
These creatures for sure are unnatural. They
are. Guys, these weren't supposed to be like
this. Where were you in combat? Where was I in
combat? I don't know. Things just spontaneously
burst into flames around you, I guess. I'm going
to go retrieve my arrows out of first aberration.
Almost all of them were immediately around you.
When you pull them out, they're covered in that
material. It has a weird... Smells like decay
and death. Can I check on one of the trees? Yeah.
The tree that he was pointing at? Yeah. If you
guys are going to take a second, I'm going to
do a short rest. Are you guys going to take long
enough for me to take like a hot 20? If we could
all short rest together, I would like a short
rest. I know me and Harun typically short rest
after fights together. Yeah. It's significant
since I fight too. We did also cut the height
of that weird multi -wolf thing. Could we do
that to the snake thing? I also crit when I tried
that last time, but we can try. Oh, that's right.
Well, it's also been stabbed a bunch. I only
stabbed it in its head. Split down the center.
Oh, yeah, you couldn't have it. Well, that'd
be fine. It has two heads. I'm small. I am small.
Well, keep in mind, it's ten feet long, so when
you couldn't have it, both ends are still five
feet. That fits me. Wait a second. That fits
me. But you already have a cape, don't you? Oh,
Frankie's dead. Yeah, I'll still try it anyways.
Much helps. Can we make some new boots? Yeah.
New boot, give me a survival check on this. Premium
amberation. Five payments. So you're going to,
as they're kind of digging around, you're going
to just take a break. Fourteen. Fourteen, yeah.
So you managed to kind of, you hack off enough
to... Can I help him and give him an advantage?
Yeah, you can help him. Fourteen. So you hack
off like... You've managed to get the skin off,
but it still has chunks on it, and it's not fully
cut. There's still chunks on random bits of it,
and some parts are uneven. From when you punched
it. I'm going to say also to Nick, Nick, you
look a little hurt. I'm just sitting there, untouched
with my temp HP still. I'm meant to get hit,
you know? I let them hit me sometimes. Makes
them feel something makes me feel alive sure
to be fair. That is how you stay mad. Yeah Let's
meet for just the visuals while you guys are
doing that. I'm just like Yeah, just like floating
there like put off the ground break them floats
you or only when he's meditating It's also on
the same response to her room. Yeah, I let them
hit me so I could finally feel something I feel
so dead without combat You actually look similar
to Frankie. Huh? You actually physically look
similar to Frankie or no? Oh, yeah. No, we have,
like, the same arms. Think about it. Think about
it. No, no. We have, like, a very similar face.
Like, we definitely have family resemblance.
I'm just almost wondering if I was that far away.
It's a half elf, half something. That's probably
fair enough. It would be reasonable that if I
was that far away and saw you, who looks similar
to Frankie, and start floating, if I might just
trip out. Yeah, for a moment you just pause.
If that's happening, then our room's going to
be like, wait, Frankie? Frankie, Frankie, Frankie,
Frankie, Frankie, Frankie. Oh. Yeah, you ran
right past me. I'm over there. Oh, shit. That's
right. This is you? No. No, this is you. Oh,
that's right. As you get closer and you realize,
oh, that's Franklin. Oh, I thought I... I don't
know what I thought. Yeah, I think... What did
you get for your... For your old will? My arcana
roll? Yeah. Which one? Like the one from the
blood? I never will. Were you checking the blood
first or the sigils? Well, I checked the blood
and then, you know, then I went to the sigils.
I didn't really roll anything for the sigil.
You said it's druidic, right? I can read. Lasagna
can read druidic. What does Lasagna read on there?
So this is a sigil. Looks like this one's marking
a barrier. Barrier? Yeah. Like the outer edge
of a barrier? Ooh, playgrounds. What kind of
a barrier? Like a protection barrier? No, more
sort of keep things in. Keep things in. Like
possibly these... Like a playground for children.
Keep them in. Yeah, actually. Interesting. Interesting.
I will definitely relay that information to all
my folks. Franklin's in a trance, so I will just,
like... I'm fine. I'm just chillin'. Oh, okay.
Even though he's in a trance, I'm still gonna
tell him, even though I don't know if he can
hear me or not. No, like, I'm short -resting.
Really, all that's required of me is to just
hang out for a second. Oh, okay. So I'm just
sitting there floating cross -legged, and then
I think my whole body just, like, turns towards
you, like, what's up? Imagine you didn't, like
your eyes were closed when I came running up,
but then he says something to you and you're
like, what's up? But yeah, relay them all the
information that this is like a fence to keep
them in. So she's treating them like cattle.
Yeah, which tells me that she probably got a
lot more in here if she has to have a perimeter
gate. to keep them in. Earlier when I used primary
level awareness, how many of them approximately
did I count? In a six mile radius. Oh, like an
approximation? So you're getting hundreds because
remember the town you came from has a lot. But
does it give you a specific of where they are?
Yeah, no, like I can essentially see their aura.
Okay. Let me look this up real quick, just so
I could... That's always been my understanding,
or at the very least I can feel how far away
they are. You're just aware that these creatures
are within this radius. They only last for a
minute. It doesn't tell you how many? No. There's
gotta be some kind of feature that does. I forget
what it is. Not maybe even a ranger one, but
just in general. Yeah, so you know that within
this radius there are those creatures, but you
don't know the exact number or location. That's
something baby, but you just but it was like
like a strong presence like, you know, there's
a lot because to you it felt like a you felt
like deep within you like I Mean it really is
you're right. Yeah, you you kind of just felt
it in your in your bones. You're like, oh, this
is very unnatural. This is Well, then I'm gonna
say to the rest of them I know that there's a
lot that are here I can feel that for a fact.
So, she might be planning either one large attack
or continuing to do small skirmishes in the surrounding
area to try and get more bodies to make more
creatures. I have a small idea. You're always
small. What's your idea? Why don't you take that
fire staff out and make her deal with the problem
real quick. You know, I was thinking... It's
already called the Burnt Forest. Damn. I mean,
I was thinking about getting a little rowdy,
but I don't know. Will that disrupt a barrier
if it's in the trees? But I don't want to disrupt
a barrier because that could hurt people outside
of this. Oh, that might let them out. Like, if
you breach enough of them. I was thinking of
being inside the barrier and burning the trees
inside the barrier. Would you as a druid want
to burn all these trees? That's a soft number
four. He's a cleric right now, so he can really
justify anything he wants. Can I... Ooh, ooh,
ooh, you know what spell I actually did take?
Speak with plants. Ooh. Help me and kill me with
fire. Oh, okay. Burn me, please. I did take that
spell. Let me find where it is here and take
that spell slot away. Um... Why do I exist? But
yes, I will cast Speak with Plants and try to
commune with the tree. Okay, so it says you,
you. That's actually what the word druid means.
You can question plants about events and stills
in the past days. Hey, Gonzo, you gotta put the
mic in front of your face. Oh, yeah, you're right.
I was just playing with it and I didn't realize.
Yeah, so you view plants within 30 feet of you
with limited sentience and animation, giving
them the ability to communicate with you and
follow your simple commands. You question plants
about events in the spell's area with its drastic...
I knew it! You're making so much feedback. Gaining
information about creatures that have passed
weather and other circumstances. You can also
turn difficult terrain into plant growth. Social
state gets undergrowth into ordinary terrain
that lasts for the duration. Oh, okay. Or you
can turn ordinary terrain where plants are present
into difficult terrain that lasts for the duration,
causing vines and branches to hit the pursuers,
for example. Alright, whatever. What are you
asking to plan? So... How you doing? How are
you deciding which trees to be guns of? How are
you feeling? What? Um... You seem a little sick.
How are you feeling, bud? Hurt. Who's hurting
you? Lady. Oh my god. Women are canonically the
enemy tree. Also, the reason why I was wanting
to do this is to see if there is still life inside
of this tree. You know what I mean? Like, that
was the main reason why. So, knowing that there
is still, like, sort of life in this tree, I
don't think Lizagna would want to burn down and
turn the trees. Yeah, it did sound like it was
weathered and, like... Okay. Could we save you
from being hurt? Like, have you always been hurt?
Burn. No. No? Okay. Wait, no to the first one
or no to the second one? I mean, it's a tree
that doesn't have much vocabulary. Okay. Do you...
Can you... Shit. How can he give us a direction?
A tree. How can a fucking tree give us direction?
Can you somehow point us in the direction that
she is at? The sun. Yeah, like... Wait, what?
If the sun follows a fixed path. So, like, where
is she in relation to, like, the time where,
like, the stars? Where is she at? So, like, if
she comes in the middle of the day, is she coming,
like, which direction should she come in in relation
to the sun? Just touch the side of the tree and
be like, did she come from this side? I like
that one better. The thing has limited animation
and trees are 360 as beings. It can just like
wobble a branch in the direction. Yes, you see
the branch kind of like point at itself. Oh,
at itself? Oh! Oh, she came through. Fuck it.
She went in me. She hasn't gotten weaker since
God damn it. What a bitch. Okay. Okay, good to
know. I'm going to just give it like a little
Like a calming. What? It just says pain. Gonzo,
stop making these things have bad names. We will
help you. And I give it a light little brush
and then walk away. All right. I don't know.
I already asked you what it says. He says he's
in pain. So we should put it off as misery. All
right. That's all you say? You don't say anything
about the witch coming through there? Oh, I do
say that. Yeah, I relay them the information
of what was being said. Then I'll start putting
some caltrops around the base. 360 just looks...
Hey, uh... Yoharis. If she came through this
tree, is there any trail that we might follow?
I'm not sure if I'm able to... Follow. So normally
things, when they leave a trail, I can smell
it or I can see it, whether it's footprints or
tracks of some kind, breaks in branches and disturbance
of foliage. If someone vanishes into a tree...
No, she can vanish out of the tree. And then
walk somewhere. I'm not suggesting follow her
through the trees, because who knows where she's
going to end up. But if she exited the tree to
do something here, I wonder if there might be
some clue. Yeah, because she walked out of the
tree to walk around this forest. So she should
have tracks leading the tree. If she walked out
of the tree, then yes. If she was a goblin, he'd
for sure find her. Hey, by the way, I heard she
was a quarter goblin. I'm on the case. Honestly?
Thus far, have the goblins really done a thing
to any of us? Nope. Well, the mind goblins...
Meanwhile, I'm throwing caltrops literally all
around this tree. Alright. Survival. Yeah, but
maybe she just has favorites. The one that goes...
She's like, oh, that's good. I got a 19. Yeah,
so... You guys have been stepping all over this
place along with the creatures. So you Hovering
so you see you see like footprints there, but
you guys hadn't really thought about the tracks
up until like right now So it's kind of hard
because there has been a lot of movement in the
area Yeah, isn't she like a unique animal? So
her printer like a furball so there aren't her
prints different and heavier air feed a little
bit bigger Because they're carrying capacity
counts as a size larger. If you just kind of
hit a spiral I'm sure at some point you'll hit
a spot we haven't walked that might maybe catch
something. And I think that with a 19... Yeah,
you see a lot of tracks but you don't really
see any footprints like that. Well, there's nothing
discernible that I can see here but maybe if
we move somewhere if we all fan out in a direction
we might be able to find something different.
I think we just move inward. I think we just,
yeah. Towards the center. So, actually, now that
you say that, that it's like sort of a fence,
do I see another tree that is similar to this?
As if it's like, you know, here's one fence post
and then another fence post. Yeah, go ahead and
check as you're walking through. Because the
reason why I kind of want to, because I kind
of want to do like a triangulate and head towards
the middle. You know what I mean? Guidance. 8
plus 4, 12 plus 9, 21. Yeah, so you notice that
some of the trees on the outer edges are... Every
fourth or fifth tree has different symbols on
it. Can I sketch down some of these? Yeah. And
I'm sure Harun will definitely help triangulate
it. I was going to say, I'll be trying to look
at a map of... where we've been and where we're
going, and also kind of guesstimate how far these
trees are apart, does it look like there's a
curve, or is there so many of them that we can't
tell there's a curve? You can't really tell yet,
because you haven't really been... What if it's
a giant transmutation circle? You can't really
tell yet, because you haven't really hit all
the forest yet, so you can't really... So if
we've seen a couple spots, right? We're going
through... It's like 60 different creatures.
Does that mean we stop seeing them? Because they
would be like a bigger, wider circle. So yeah,
so initially you guys were seeing on the outer,
but then as you're getting in, you're only seeing
it. And there'd be no point to walk the outer
edge because then we're not really getting...
So you don't really know exactly where else it
goes off to? I mean, I'm down to rest here a
bit and then repeat our plan. It seemed to work
pretty good last time. You guys hide out, use
me as bait, and see what comes to us. I mean,
I think we completed a short rest through all
these shenanigans. I did. Just, uh, Nix, have
you told Franklin about your and Frankie's old
plan that you did last time? Which one? The one
where you were like a big ol' ape. Oh. Yeah,
Frankie turned me into an ape and I went crazy
for a bit. Yeah, well, I like to do it myself.
I got other spells to take up. That space. Damn.
Yeah. That's cool. Actually, I don't think I
have Polymorph. What? A lizard can't get Polymorph?
They can, but I specifically did not pick spells
like some of his bread and butter spells. Because
I didn't want... Like, that's why I don't have
Silvery Barbs. Ah, you didn't want to... Yeah,
I see. I didn't want to just play Frankie. 2
.0. 2 .0. I wanted to have a different... Yeah,
that makes sense. I like it. Yeah, so, but, I
mean, damn, are we short rest? Yeah, you can
stop taking short rest. Alright, so I think we
should take a short rest and then just rinse
and repeat the plan. Alright. And then you guys
stealth behind. Cool, and then we can call from
here. Yeah. Does everyone like that one? Yeah.
Even if some of us short rest while you guys
are fucking around. We need our own special rest.
Alright, yeah, so then we'll call it there as
you guys take your short rest. Sweet. HP back
that I lost from two dice. I still have all my
tenth HP. Nice. Two hit dice used. All my HP
is filled. I just wanted to free up my fifth
level spell slot again. Get it back. Alright,
folks. It was great. Shit, I can't even fucking
talk right now. Thanks for having me. thanks
for listening to us guys thanks for having me
we'll see you guys next time we'll see you next
time later nerds bye