Welcome everyone to Freakin' Nerds! A D &D podcast
where six friends... Oh, shit. You can't count.
I'm not counting this time. We're playing Dungeons
& Dragons. Yeah, there's a bunch of friends in
here. And a few babies. I am Will or Will I am...
I don't fucking know. But I do play Lizogna Moskine,
the Wood Elf Druid. And fun false fact about...
Shit. Hold on. I know the name. Harun. Fun false
fact for Harun is that he is not looking for
a relationship because he is afraid of sparks
flying. That is very accurate. Unfortunately,
it was there. I've been trying to come up with
puns for everybody now. That was pretty good.
I did a pun on that. It came out a little robotic.
I'm throwing tomatoes. Oh, that hurts. It hurts.
Okay, my name is Mark. I have a baby. I play
Harun when I finally got my Harun voice back.
After I don't know how long. Tell them. My false
fact about Siafra is that in every, every pair
of her shoes it's another anklet that contains
a smaller pair of the same shoes. This hurts
my brain. And if you think about it, there's
probably another anklet So I have, like, infinite
dimensions in shoes. You might. They're just
little cutesy shoes. It's like whoever you got
them from decided to throw in, like, a little
miniature version of that, and you can't throw
them away. Yeah, fair, fair. Sells within sells
into winners. Gonna break the shoe economy. Breaking
the universe in shoes. All right, I'm Bronson.
I play Siofra. And I'm a full stack of your hearts.
Every time he calls you for a bitch, he gets
a little bit more fond of her. It might be true.
You bitch! It's supposed to be false. It's just
a sexual tension. Nah, there it is. It's a real
-life sexual tension. Uh -oh, you dropped it.
It's because they heard about Browns and think
they have a nice relationship. Yeah, it's the
easiest way out. Well, hello. I'm a bushel of
cherries, but tonight I'll be playing the role
of Yulharis Sithrith, the Summer Ladron Ranger.
And a fun false fact about our good friend Nyx
is that he can bust it down like no one else,
and actually that's the reason why he got out
of the Underdark, is because he was banned from
busting it down there because he was so good
at it, everyone else was jealous. That's where
the magic comes from. What was it from your taint?
What was his signature move? You see, I'm not
at liberty to say it because if so, then the
Underdark people will come after me. True, true,
true. I see, I see, I see. I'd like to put forward
that it's the stanky third. The stanky third
leg. We have established that he has a big dick.
It's an illustration. That's a very important
part of a canon, okay? It is canon. It's one
of the few things actually written into canon.
Is there a tattooed on the side of it that says
canon? Yeah. Now that's horrifying. That's terrible.
It starts to say can, but then as it goes along
it says canon. You're like, oh! He's a broker,
alright? So many O's. I'm Jalen, playing Nyx
the Barbarian. False fact about Franklin. He's
humble. The most humble. He, uh... Despite all
of his bravado about him and his brother, he
actually feels wildly insecure about him. And
he thinks Frankie is probably better. I'm not
crying, it's just raining. Yeah, guys, stop looking
at me. Someone catch the weather spell in my
eyes. Hi, I'm Ben, and I'm playing Franklin.
He, and this has nothing to do with the extra
right now, but the most badass wizard I've ever
lived. A fun, but super false fact about Lasagna.
most kind is that he is um he hates plants he
hates plants and loves meat and take that out
everyone take that i mean lazogna does love meat
but he loves plants so it is a false fact i put
them out Alright, Lizagna's learning. Lizagna's
learning how to fire. He hasn't been this strong
before, alright? Fireball is a new spell to him.
Honestly, there's no way to tell when something's
on fire. Yeah, you know, you gotta play with
fire sometimes to figure out sometimes it's a
bad thing. Sometimes when the DM just throws
like a fire wand in front of you and you're just
like, oh, you can't use that all the time. Like,
what the fuck? You can. I'm just kidding. If
you just keep it in this prison wall, I'm going
to keep it more. Wow. Mark, I brought you a present
from work today. Oh, shit. Here, I got those
rubber bands. You should not give those to me
sitting on the table. Well, like, yeah, not right
now. Like, obviously. Those have been through
many layers of mail and touching of hands. So,
yeah. For later. Let me snack with you for the
remainder. So many layers of male, but how many
layers of female? Good question. Well, definitely
more than one. Good one. Good answer. Yeah, yeah,
yeah. It's on there. I do love watching Steve
Harvey compilations because he's always like,
his face when he's like, what the fuck did you
say? You realize we're on TV? The first time
he's like, what goes, like, say the next word
and he says pork and somebody says you pine.
That got me so hard. Name someone with an H.
Jose! So there's this video on YouTube that I
actually watched here with Justin in its entirety.
It's a 30 plus minute video but it's called this
is not sponsored by the way. What is his name
again? Steve Harvey? Steve Harvey does not want
to host anymore, and it's one of the most funny,
beautiful, poignant, cinematic pieces of artwork
that I have ever seen. You should all watch it.
Honestly, I've loved Steve Harvey when he was
a comedian. Fair enough. Oh, yeah. When he was
doing stand -up, I don't know if I was around
when it came out. But I definitely watched it
on DVD and shit like that. But it was like Bernie
Mac, Cedric the Entertainer, Steve Harvey. The
Kings of Comedy? The Kings of Comedy, yes. I
remember watching that back in the day with the
family. That was a great show. But Gonzo, back
to this podcast. What are you wearing? I'm wearing
my socks. Sometimes you need some sage advice
from other sources. What are you wearing? I can't
see. Remember, it's a... The snowman from...
Late Tits Now? No. It's the snowman from Rudolph,
and it says, don't eat the yellow snow. Oh. Sometimes
you need advice from the elders to not do something
dumb. That's fair. That's fair. Yeah. He's experienced
for a reason. Quick question, though. Did you
own the Kings of Comedy DVD in your household?
Yes, we did. For sure. Okay, so that is like...
How I know for sure you grew up in a black house.
I was about to say. I was like, that was a DVD
in my household too. And you will know how to
play spades. I do not know how to play spades.
What? What about dominoes? Dominoes, yes. But
unfortunately, I do not slam the dominoes down
on the table. That's more of a Cuban thing. No,
it's like a whole person thing. It depends, like,
on one side of the family, when I play with dominoes
with them, it's like, they don't slam it down.
And then the other side of the family, they do
slam it down. I'm not saying which one is which.
Yeah. Well, I mean, my family does that too.
But when they do it, slam it to the table. I've
seen a video of the granddad with some blocks,
and he's just playing with the kid, showing him
the blocks. He grabs him, and he goes, ha! Throws
him, and he goes, ha! And you're like, don't
teach me that! And he's like, oh, I just... He
just stuttered all over the place. I be catching
myself at work sometimes whenever somebody just
goes in for a high five or something, I'll be
just dapping them up and then snapping at the
end just out of force of habit. You have to.
I'm very prone to when people try to go for a
handshake, I'll just dap them up and then bring
them in for the hug. And then I realize very
quickly that some people are not down for that
always. Oh, Jalen, you know what me and Ben talked
about doing? Having a Chappelle Show marathon.
Oh, yes. Oh, for real. Me too. Oh, yeah. Me and
my friends, I watch that show all the time. You
guys were talking about dice, and I was thinking,
it's the World Dice Championship. Ashy Larry,
baby, ashy Larry. Coming in close. Have you seen
some videos of Donald Rawlings crashing down
on all these shows? Dude, he was like on a stand
-up show, and he was talking about how he was
like, I'm Asian Palshaw, shut the fuck up, Ashley
Larry. Because he was getting roasted at some
thing, and everyone was like, shut the fuck up.
He did that, he did I'm Rich Bitch, and that
was all I remember. Yeah, that was that. Yeah,
something about a couch. Fuck your couch. Well,
the original, like, I'm Rich Biatch, that was
from Ashley Larry, the actor that he was talking
about. That was his line. Yeah, yeah. He's just
been Dave Chappelle's friend, but even now he's
kind of just doing something very crazy. Anyways,
um... So who remembers what happened last time?
Yeah, recap, recap, recap. I still have inspiration,
so... I'll leave it to one of you guys. Actually,
inspiration runs out after... I'm just kidding.
That is how we used to do it. When did we amend
the rules? That was not a rule. It used to always
be like that, but I think it's dumb because sometimes
in a session you really run into something where
you won't have the need for it. And then you
kind of just lose it, you know? Inspiration runs
out on a long rest. That's how I always play
it. But, I don't know. You're safe. I agree with
you. Yeah, no one takes your inspiration away.
I feel inspired still. You can't stack it, though.
You only have one. That's what I'm saying. I
like that. You can't stack, but it lasts until...
This isn't like Baldur's Gate? I think it's more
fun. Real cool, baby. Plus, you know, we still
can. If anybody wants to redo a deal with the
devil, it's always on the table. I totally forgot
about that. I'm going to wait until we're in
a safe space and I'm happy. So who remembers
what happens? No idea. I remember we were on
a ship. I think I got this one. Go ahead, Ben.
I think last time, if I remember right, we went
up from the settlement we were at. I don't remember
the exact last time we were up, but we went up
from the settlement we were at. to towards uh
the capital of karnat um where uh ceofra came
down on a flying ship uh to deliver some goods
i don't know if we actually confirmed that there
were dragons No, you guys are a whole bunch of
Warforged farts. It was just the Warforged farts.
He hadn't himself seen it, so. Yeah. And then
Siofra punks some bitches on the ship. Lazagna
and Heru had a only slightly homoerotic cooking
scene. Only slightly. Only slightly. You know,
just a pinch of homoeroticism in the kitchen
together. And then... Just a dash. We are flying
along. The C -04 offered to take us to where
the train ends in Silverflame. Sharn. Oh, we're
going straight to Sharn. No, no, I think you
guys are going to Flamekeep too. That's what
I'm saying, we're going to Flamekeep. That's
where Mr. Baldwin's meeting the C -04. So we're
going there. Mid -flight, we get attacked by
another... ...ship for flying things that we
just completely annihilated. Me and Seehofer
went down to investigate, and... ...it was taken
over by some weird monsters. By some goop? Yeah.
It was also a ship that we recognized. It was
people that we served alongside during the war.
Which I'm still... I'm still confused about that.
That has nothing to do with Franklin, so. I think
it's a rear -to -triangle situation. People be
stealing shit. People be goop, and then they
be stealing shit. People be gooping. Gooping.
Alright, yeah, that's basically it. How did that
count? Oh, that is, sir. And, uh, just a little
more, uh, Tiafer also did find out a lot of information
about the goings -on, and did fill in, uh, you've...
She told everyone. They're using the lightning
rails to transport parts to potentially build
an army of warforges. He remembers. Yeah, you
guys are on the ship. Cielfra, you know as well,
is the head honcho here. She's now entrusted
into the... I'm just surprised Baldwin let you
leave his side. I'm also surprised that bag of
holding is still holding up. Yeah. Let's all
go. Check your pouches. Everybody get some gold.
Do you get some gold? Do you get some wrist?
Yeah, you get a lot of wrist. Okay. I just had
some spell slots. Win. Those template points
are going to go. Win. While we're on the ship?
Yeah, you're going on the ship still. But we're
chilling. I thought we ended up seeing some people.
Oh, they all died. Yeah, yeah. You guys crashed
the ship. The ship was firing back and knocked
the ship out. When you guys you guys investigate
the crash and found the bodies and the monsters
And you guys are still you guys have a few more
days left to get to the other to the city That's
it. You guys are on the ship. So this is the
morning. He said it's like mid -morning He's
got a small brain. You're being sus over there.
You guys wake up. It's the smell of breakfast.
Some of you have already been awake, but some
of you other eight -hour folks are still sleeping.
I think I was second watch. Brent's in the kitchen
cooking. I'm probably resting. You're an elf.
Yeah, but I took second shift yesterday. So I'm
going to be up when the eight hours get up. Yeah,
so you guys all get up around the same time.
Can I cast Bolster and Performance on everybody
at breakfast? Sure. Yeah, everyone's eating.
The only person not there is a seal for it. Everyone
haven't gotten there yet. testing out the hand
attachments. Why did you want to see my hand
again? Oh, wait, wait, wait. I forgot about the
real fact. Oh, yes. I'll do this at the beginning.
Gonzo, what is your real fact? My real fact is
about Harun. He learned a new emotion. He learned
what being happy was. Oh, God. I thought you
were going to say another H word. Hungry. Nope.
You always feel some sort of warmness in you
when you see your friend's uniform. So you kind
of know the experience of joy. I mean, that is
true. When I saw her on the ship, I just went
all the way fucking home. Anybody else a little
annoyed at Haroon for not finding any joy in
his current friends? Damn. Sucks to suck. You
guys are stressful. What did I do? We hear, like,
the creaking coming from the room. We, like,
open the door to it because we're, like, expecting
to catch them doing something. Just be boiling
joints. Haroon is, like, one of those mechanical
horses outside, like, a grocery store. And Silver's
just, like, rocking back and forth. It's not
sexual at all. It's just Haroon having the time
of his life. I'm a horsey. What's a horsey? The
officer who wanted to ride me. She looks over
at the door and pauses. Hey, you guys got a spare
copper? This is about to run out. Deadpan face.
Insert that rear. Was your leadership ability
nine temporary? Yeah, nine temporary HP to everybody.
The bolstering performance that I give is, we'll
say for the sake of the lore, an elven drinking
song. called The Wild Rover. Although IRL, look
up The Wild Rover. It's an Irish drinking song.
It's about a guy... I'm over, I'm over. No. Bend
it right over. Yes, I'm done. Then it's no name,
never. No name, never, no more. Will I play The
Wild Rover? No name, never, no more. It's all
about a guy who's finally paying off his bar
tab. Real. Sounds like my dad. That's not a true
Irish song. We don't paint bars. They just die
from consumption. Aw, son. Ride around Paddy's
day. Come on, son. Yeah, come on. We gotta celebrate
the man who led the kids out of Ireland. Yeah,
he beat them with snakes and got them out of
Ireland. Paddy was an asshole for real. He was
English, too. He wasn't even Irish. He didn't
even go there. He was responsible for Christianizing
Ireland. He let all snakes out of the country.
So there were no actual snakes in Ireland. The
snake was a euphemism for all the druids that
were there. The ones that he couldn't convert
were killed. They were pagans, basically. Make
Ireland pagan again. That's why you wear green
now. Alright! anyway yeah back to yeah back to
make -believe back to world war make -believe
is real I'm just kidding we have a president
who can't read so everything is make -believe
now anyways alright so yeah you guys are you
guys are you guys are sitting around breakfast
Tiafra and Harun are still in their room discussing
things I don't know. I don't know. Whatever you
guys want to do, you can join your friends. I
know usually you get breakfast brought to your
room. No, I would join the group since we have
guests. Okay, yeah. Yeah, you see a friend saw
us coming over as you're walking by. I was bringing
you your breakfast. No words. Just kind of like
look out. Who made it? I did. I'm just going
to like not even like not just like turn away.
Just let it hit the floor. No, well, he's holding,
like, a tray with, like, a plate over it. Like,
with a dome. Oh, she's gonna keep going. I'm
just gonna keep going, though. I'm not gonna
knock out his hand, but... And then I'm gonna
go try to find the lock. Maybe she'll want it
later. He just, he's following awkwardly with
the tray. He's like... I wouldn't. Take the L.
I tap him on the shoulder. I'll have what she
was going to have. Yeah, he just looks at you
and just says, uh, uh, and your heart just starts
grabbing. He's just like, oh, thanks. You already
know. He's just kind of like stumbling, uh -huh,
uh -huh, just unsure what's happening. But isn't
really like questioning it. His boss is just
kind of, you think, you think, Francois looks
a little heartbroken. You in the kitchen, good
sir? I think I'm probably waking up. with uh
with nicks oh after i would notice you're not
in the kitchen then i'd be like turn to francois
where's that food i know he already has it yeah
you see your harvest already has like half of
it already in his mouth i'm just gonna glare
francois harvard's gonna run out of the kitchen
he's running putting the putting the whisk attachment
on as he's running Swapping to the chef's hat.
He's like, I will make you whatever you want.
I'll be waiting for breakfast. You see, he just
starts running and scrambling to get there. You
hear him yelling at Haroon as he walks in. He's
like, what are you doing in my kitchen? Doing
a better job. He's like, get out. This is my
kitchen. Good luck getting me out. Another emotion.
Damn! The audacity. Is that intimidation? Persuasion?
Harun's learned malice. Call the tax. Harun asks
Francois to step in his kitchen and catch the
fade. Get out! Make me, please. You see, uh,
you guys are sitting around as friends walk out
of stores out of his kitchen and he, uh, comes
over to your table and just says, who does the
idiot robot belong to? I think probably Nix and
I, Nix and I probably looked at each other. Yeah,
he says, who does this robot belong to? Who does
the idiot robot belong to? Me. He's mine. Who
you calling an idiot? The one in the kitchen.
Can you tell him to get out? It's my kitchen.
I'm making, like, cinnamon biscuits. I'm gonna
pat him on the back. He's a better cook than
you, though. He kind of just... He looks at you
in fury. He says, no, he's not. Can I persuade
him that he is? I'm gonna put my hand on his
shoulder. He's taller than you. Okay. I'm gonna
put my hand on his shoulder. Can I lift him?
Yeah. He's gonna reach in. I'll let him if he
lifts me. I lift you. You see your horrors just
come up underneath and just pick you up and then...
I put my hand on his shoulder now that we're
eye level. I look him in the eye and go, he was
in the room with the madam all night. Do you
really want to challenge that? He kind of just
looks at you. He looks over at Siofra and just
makes eye contact. I'm just waiting for his response.
Hands crossed, sitting super proper. I'm going
to move Nyx out of the way and mouth, don't do
it. Don't do it, puts him back. Yeah, exactly.
I think I lean in close to the CO for unsaved.
If I just got rid of them for just a moment,
like, if he was just gone, would that be okay?
You know, I haven't had my coffee yet. Do what
you want. Guys, guys, guys, I got this. Gonzo?
Gonzo, I got this. Could you make me a charisma
saving throw? DC 19? I think that one's coming.
15. Awesome. Dope. He's vanished for the next
minute, and in a minute he's going to appear
right in the space he left, and he'll be about
100 feet that way. He's just going to... Oh.
Did we get a perfectly cut screen? I'm going
to wait. I'm trying to think if I'm going to
wait for that. Let's not end the poor boy. He'll
just be in the kitchen. He's just in the kitchen.
You're in the kitchen and you see him just drop
right next to you. He just kind of appears and
just drops in front of you. And you just go...
I say, could mix this. He's already really shaky.
We eventually come out with some cinnamon biscuits,
some eggs and bacon. I must say, thank you for
cooking. Yeah. Remember when you made this? Well,
he certainly didn't. Francois hasn't left the
kitchen. He's in there deeply. He's not coming
out for a while. We're going to make a big bad,
guys. A big bad what? He's bad at cooking already.
Franklin, maybe we should be a little bit more
nice to people. You guys need to get your story
together here, or react together, because we
hate him for not being good at cooking. He's
bugging us, calls the room a robot. How many
strikes do I get before he gets to just take
a hike? Whoa. I mean, he is kind of an ass. I
kind of just put up my shoulder and was like,
he's not wrong. He's sensible, he does. I would
feel, I feel like I've been very patient with
all this. But you just let me know when it's
appropriate. Thank you for taking him out of
the room and not killing him. It's hard to...
Keep the staffing levels up if they keep dropping
it. I hate to be pedantic, but I wasn't going
to kill him. The ground probably would. He had
his choice of what to do until he landed. That's
some pretty strong semantics. When you spend
ten years of cooking and you suck like this,
you could have learned the feather fall spell.
That's all I'm saying. He might be a pedantic
asshole, but I don't think that he needs to die.
Although, calling a... How ruined names is now,
right? You know, maybe if we were, like, on a
train, and you did that, you know, all the way,
then you would have just fell on the ground,
no big deal. But, you know, we're in the air.
But really let me know when you learn vengeance,
and I'll help you out. You'll say something like,
vengeance is mine, and I'll be on your side.
You have no idea the concept he's talking about.
To the task at hand. And you guys will notice
all the circuits out of the room. What's the
plan with Baldwin? You guys know the details
I gave you. We need to just find a way to get
in close enough to him where we can take off
that ring however we get it, and then after that
we scram. There's a couple holes in that plan,
so I'm going to hear people try to patch that.
We could cut it off and then glue it back together
with the ring off. Don't punch more holes. Now,
before we go to the whole chopping the finger
off, what if we can dismiss the spell? Hasn't
See -Off already tried that? Unless you have
something strong enough to absolve curses. I
also think that part of what we're trying to
get, you know, trying to deliver here, is the
item intact because if you just wanted a non
-magical ring in the general shape i mean what's
that going to tell him aside just that was not
an answer here actually i have an idea if we
can't get the ring off of him and we don't want
to dismember the guy why don't we just take him
i was thinking that we could we could just smack
him up you know I like that. But we stop the
dismemberment, but we're cool with kidnapping.
That's kind of my vibe. My question, how do we
transport a very famous and powerful man from
place to place? That was the other question.
He is very... You know, he's a very noticeable
guy. Well, I mean, the over is real good at getting
these fellas alone. If only you guys had a cleric
in your party. Who can prepare spells? What kind
of spells are we talking about? What kind of
level 2 clerics we cast? I mean, you know. You
try the divine intervention thing. I don't think
it'll be too difficult if we just, you know,
took Baldwin, subtly, and built him to another
location. And then, I know we really don't want
to dismember him. But it's just a ring finger
like he's got all the main ones I'm just saying
I can cut it off in one good swoop. You can cauterize
the wound everyone's happy Do you have any connections
with the church? The main problems the rings
not just gonna slide off right that's part of
it. It's yeah, it was it was hard to pull off
Information broker wants it The information broker
needs it. God, I'll never get used to that. Rich
man laughs. Here you are saying that we got holes
in our plans and you got holes in your memory.
Well, we think... Well, the information broker
not only wanted the ring, but he wanted us to...
We already gave him an emerald claw necklace.
Now he wants a ring. I think the ring, though,
is specific to the family. Right? To the Orions.
You guys remember the first item I gave him.
The quest was to rescue the Orion family, right?
He just wants the ring, but potentially rescue
them, because they're a... Oh, he just wants
the ring. That changes things. He wants the ring,
but the family's also the ones that... I feel
like we've been over -publicating. He wants the
ring, but also the family is part of what's driving
the potential evil that might take over the world.
So that might be your problem at some point.
But your buddy Remy said he wasn't this bad before
the ring got... Right. Right. If we take him,
remove the ring and finger... It'll get better,
right? Yeah. He doesn't need all ten fingers.
That's what I've been saying from the start.
Okay, if we're going to go with this plan, this
whole coup and me running the ship goes away.
You want to paint that picture for you guys.
It hinges on my identity being tied to that and
when someone loses a finger, questions come up.
That's why I said we should just take the man.
We don't want to include you if you feel that
you're going to be in danger. I'm just saying,
some perks go away. I'd like to have a nice ship.
Mazogna, she needs to be a part of this. We need
to have him feel safe enough so that way we can
get him vulnerable, incapacitate him, and then
take him. She's our in. Have you seen him talk
to his friend that appears out of nowhere? I
don't know if I've ever seen some mysteriously
creepy meetings or anything like that. We saw
it the one time. But Siafer spent a lot of time
with him. I feel like she has to have seen it.
To be able to identify someone that kind of matches
that description. So every time you saw him,
it was just a clothing figure? It was just darkness
in the clothes. You couldn't see a figure. Yeah.
You could tell it was something. I'd relate that.
Yeah. That's cool. But you know that the conversation
always took place in the abyssal, which you started
to pick up eventually you didn't you know That's
how you learned about the plan, but you don't
know all the details. Yeah, I was in the middle
of learning it I don't know. I think y 'all Horace
actually made a great point you kidnap him The
offer is a vulnerable, but he kidnaps the offer
to so she can keep her cover, you know I get
all perked up. Good ideas. His tail starts wagging.
If you say it's a curse, why don't we just remove
the curse? Back to Franklin's point. They want
the cursed item. If we remove the curse, then
it's just an item. If it's just a ring, then
I don't know if the information worker cares.
I could have sworn that this is above character.
I could have sworn he said he wanted the ring
to help figure out what was being... like holding
the Ryan family. Well, because above the table,
this is a ring that you don't know. I remember
I told you that you would need to identify to
know the specifics of it. So once you know that,
then you'll know how to take it. Gotcha. But
it's not just a ring. Yeah, it's not a ring.
It's locked down. He can't really take it off.
So it sounds like mine. So then I'm going to
leave it. Thank you for filling it in. Do you
know a way to identify magical items if presented?
Oh, yeah. Definitely. That simplifies the plan,
so we go with Nick's plan, where at some happenstance
of we have to pick a location, both I and Baldwin
get kidnapped, where we can then have a long
time to give him the chance to identify the ring,
which will probably give him the code to get
us. Good plan, both of you kidnapped. Plausibility.
I... Did he get hurt in the last... I think we
just said that. Yeah, I think he's just agreeing
with you. Oh, oh, oh, good job, Harun. Yes. He's
happy. Harun, you see, like, for the first time,
like, his face was always blank, but now it's
like his face is actually smiling. There's a
little curve in the middle. You just hear it.
Let me tell you how I got these scars. Is Baldwin's
fella particularly strong? You think it's gonna
be hard for him to... He's a gluttonous pig.
The only way he cares about it is the end of
the war. Oh. Well then I can hogtie him. Nick?
So Nick, you're gonna have to hold him. Mikey
holds you up every night. Yeah. I mean, I have
some spells that could definitely help. Could
make a gentle suggestion, Mikey. I got 50 feet
of rope and a good attitude. I can get it done.
Let's go with Franklin's suggestion. I'm happy
to suggest you don't give the right answer. Trust
me, years of experience. Years of giving the
wrong answer. It goes also with the other story
of it's going to be tough to try to kidnap a
very highly you know, family man of the Orion
family. You know what I mean? Like, everybody
knows this guy. Not even landing. Once we land,
there's going to be intermixing of packages coming
back on. Well, that's what I was saying. I wasn't
disagreeing with you. I was agreeing with more
of a suggestion plan. Maybe we could get him
a little bit inebriated a little bit. I don't
know if that helps the spell, but it might. Yeah,
getting him to be raped is not hard. That's what
I'm saying. If we get him really drunk, like
right before the landing, maybe that'll help
our chances in the suggestion. So it sounds like
our plan is when we land, Ziofer gets him alone.
She gets him to drink while they do their thing.
Once they get alone, we kidnap the two of them.
And we take the ring. I'm going to say kidnapping.
It's more of a suggestion for him to just kind
of get in a cart with us. Do you have morality
problems? It's kidnapping. Let's not use that
word. I just put my hands together like, Jesus
Lord. I'm all the way. Please, if you're here.
God do I understand that there's something different
about it? I mean As far as the suggestion goes
to I don't feel like it be terribly difficult
to say Make my suggestion. Hey Baldwin You should
take Seofra with you and some guards to XYZ for
a fun romantic picnic or whatever. We destroy
the guards, no witnesses, take Baldwin, do whatever
we want with him, and Seofra can go back, a little
bruised up, a little banged up, and report that
he got taken. Gonzo, what city are we going into
again? I don't think you can. Flamekeep, the
militarized city, right? No, that was the real
place. Flamekeep is a... The religious one? Yeah,
they're kind of... I just want to make sure,
because I feel like that, if it's... Make sure
it's not the military city. No, the military
city, you guys, was the only corporate area,
but you guys already passed it. Okay. Yeah. I
mean, it... If the town guard, if you don't think
the town guard would be watching, I think that
might be a good idea. Can I roll a history check
on how, like, the good, the guards are, like,
the town guards are? I'm assuming we're moving
stuff under the table to know that we paid off
the guards to not look at our shipments. Oh,
yeah, you guys are just... I was more referring
to his plan of, like, getting you guys into a
park. We take out the guards that you guys plan.
Yeah. I was referring to like those city guards.
Not like the poor part of it. I don't know if
we get them out of the city. Yeah, that might
be a good idea. I see what you're saying. You
know, I've never really taken part in a... Uh,
before, so I'm just gonna, I'm just gonna help.
I'm just gonna help. Yeah, I've done these a
couple times, so I'm on my lead. I mean, I haven't
been, I haven't kidnapped anybody, but as a bounty
hunter, you frequently extract people who you
know want to be extracted from places. What the
fuck? That's literally kidnapping. No, it's,
uh... That's a bounty thing. It's only kidnapping
if you're not getting paid for it. Franklin's
definitely looking at the rest of you like, can
you believe this guy? If somebody pays a ransom
note for a kidnapping... That's a bounty. As
far as I'm concerned. I mean, you gotta have
rules. Kids don't pay very much, so you gotta
stick with your adults. You guys know how to
pick them. Glad to have you. He just kind of
came after Frankie. And he's been a cool guy.
I was almost worried about you. And he just stares
at you. Just stares at me. Like, no emotion at
all. Blank face and was like, I'm just gonna...
Frankie always said you were his favorite. God,
that tells a lot about Frankie. surprised and
displeased considering all the murdering they
did together. Did that mean nothing? All those
lives taken? Nick's was the most down. Everyone's
going to look at you and say, Franklin says I
owe him favors now. Family favors that carry
over. I didn't know that. Did you make a deal
with him? They all made deals with Frankie. I
don't think Franklin knows that I made a deal
with Frankie. You don't think I would know that?
We never brought it up. Well, next it's going
to show. So it sounds like we have a plan. We
kidnap the man. Alright. Let's not say that.
Can we call it like Operation Black Hawk? Operation
Kidnap. Kidnap. Operation Cinnamon Biscuit. I
like that. I like that, Harun. Operation Exterminate
with Extreme Prejudice. That's a little far.
You know what? I like Harun's suggestion as well.
Cinnamon Biscuit. Why not? That's the great thing.
You know it's a fucked up operation because it
has such a sweet name. You know, it's pretty
fair. I can't argue with that. You like that
one? I remember during the war, Operation Custard
Pie. What happened? I don't remember that one.
It was horrific. It was wet. It was so damp.
And thanks. I was going to say, you doubled up.
At least your babies are cuter than them. What
would you say if it happened? Honestly, no judgment.
Do we have cute babies? I can't tell. I think
they're pretty cute. Pretty cute. Well, yeah.
A lot of bias. A lot of bias once it came out
of you. I still love how your son always has
that look like a confusion on his face. As men,
that's just how we are. But then his daughter
just always looks like, ah! She's always smiling.
She's always staring at me or something. One
of them knows how you will die. The other knows
when. Oh, God. Do not put that. She agrees. It's
the psychic twins from American Dragon. Like
the happy -go -lucky ones saw all the bad things.
Yeah. She's fucking spitting facts right now.
Spitting facts. Let them know. Alright, so I'm
going to do this plan. It can be both. It can
be both. I am here to help. If I can give you
some guidance, I will. So you do know you're
about a day and a half out from getting there?
Okay. I can enhance your abilities if you need
me to, but that's about all I can do. You hear
a knock as you guys are discussing. I'm going
to, yeah. It's Francois is kind of standing there.
I'm going to raise my hand so he can speak, yeah.
There's a note here for Lazaga. Oh, I snatched
it from him. It's from Remy. Where's Frank Bloom?
Thank you. Can you make some merch for the crew?
I'm right next to him. Pulled up right behind
me. Yes, ma 'am. He says, would you like anything?
No, I'm good. Thank you very much. Like, total
bipolar mood swings. He kind of smiles, but then
he also turns and runs before you. Doesn't say
anything. Doesn't look at anybody else. Just
looks at you. Doesn't look at anyone else and
just goes. He's probably so terrified he wants
to get laid by you. It's a fear boner. Many such
cases. So the note is from Remy saying that he
says just so you know I have a big supply of
garlic that I have so I'm excited for new recipes
and he says that I'll be we're going to be voyaging
out with With Baldwin, I would like it if he
would join us. Is there a date? He knows you
guys are going to be at the city. Oh, okay. He
wants you to join for his cooking group. If you're
available. For the supply journey. So, just out
of curiosity, when we send off these letters
to them, is it sealed up properly? It's just
not a floating note. I thought, like, origami
-ed into a bird. So it origami -ed into a bird,
but, like, when you said when it got to me it
was a letter. So I'm assuming it was an origami
bird turned into a letter. Was it, like, sealed
up? Yeah. Like an envelope? Yeah, so when you
got it open for you. That was all the shopping
was. Cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool.
Uh... Like, oh, I got a nice little letter from
Remy, guys. He says he got a bunch of garlic,
and he's expecting us when we get there to...
And they're planning a feast for you to get there.
Ooh, there's a feast. There's a feast in there.
Do you know how long those envelopes take to
deliver? I don't, but I was hoping to get a nice
little letter out real quick to him before we
go. Do you want me to add anything? You should
say, turn around, and then maybe it'll deliver
as we're there. Or it's going to be very confusing.
One or the other. Might be a little bit of both,
but I'll be sure to add that in there. I think
you might end up staring at that. But I will
write back, like, my dearest Remy. Franklin says
hi. Excited with the garlic. We'll think of some
recipes for you. And then in very small handwriting
at the very bottom, I'm going to say, if you
have anything that can put people to sleep very
easily, be sure to knock it. What do you mean,
who? You know what this is. I said, what are
you writing there? I show them. Remy's cool.
Remy is running. I agree with Franklin. Are you
guys going to the whole war spy thing? Oh. You're
making a receipt to your evil plan. It's a paper
trail. And it's not evil, but it is a paper trail.
To Cinnamon... It's right there. Operation Cinnamon
Business. I also imagine Lozagna's actually,
he's reading. He's like, he's dictating. Lozagna
talks as he's writing. The real question is,
does Lozagna whisper when he writes small? She
wants to know too. So I shouldn't put this part
in there? Is that what you're saying? Please
strike that from the record. I ruined hands on
another piece of paper. Well, I was just going
to rip it off from the bottom. It's like a continuing
sentence. That's fair. I'll burn this later,
don't worry. Can I take that piece of paper from
you? Oh, yeah, no, yeah, no, yeah. Oh, thank
you. You're a fireman. I put it in my mouth.
I eat it. Does it turn into fire? Throw a fireball
at it. But, uh... It was a plan. It was a plan,
right? I feel like that was a good idea. It was
good. It didn't get checked. Like, my letter
didn't get checked as it got here. The intentions
were good, but when we're... It's not so much,
like, the delivery that is going to be bad. It
would be after the fact. He has the letter. I
couldn't wear the gown, so I want to try to slide
a hand to show him that people can fuck with
letters without him knowing. Yeah, go ahead.
I'll just slide a hand. I need... I'll just roll
in there. Yeah, you can just roll in there. Do
I roll against it? Do you want to roll? I just
want to... Don't you dare say passive perception.
What's your passive perception? Because his passive
sleight of hand is literally my passive perception.
Alright, then go ahead and roll your perception
check. I rolled bad, but it's still pretty high.
I rolled... I mean, my passive perception is
18, I believe. I rolled exactly 18. I rolled
a 3. There he goes then. Yeah, I got... What
the fuck? My passive perception is 18. Wow. Yeah.
So I want to show them the process of how you
can like cleanly break a wax seal, open the letter,
and then reseal it like no one touched it. But
he barely caught that. So you did that right
in front of him super fast and he barely caught
that. So people with time. All right. All right.
All right. I'm sorry. It was a thought. You said
it's that you had trouble sleeping from that
atrocity you committed. Why didn't I think of
that before? What do you mean atrocities? Throw
this dead paper away, put it out, and then pull
out a new piece of paper. My dearest Remi. Really
glad to see you when we get there. Be sure to
pack some sleeping stuff. I've been having some
trouble sleeping. It's been really hard on the
road. Love, Lasagna. You didn't say Franklin
said hi that time. Can I postscript something
there at the bottom? Yeah. Oh, Franklin says
hi. Let me write it. And I'll just write at the
bottom, after Franklin says hi, I'll just write,
you better have everything in tip -top shape.
There's going to be a test. And then I fold it
up, and then I just throw it out there. And as
I throw it, it turns into an origami bird. Yeah,
and it just flies out. Fire it. Son of a bitch.
Do it again. Franklin's like, every time, ooh,
I just want to do this. One of these days. This
is a really funny thing, but I just realized
that the spell knock would work on a Waxio. It's
a non -magical steel element. I mean, if it works,
it works. It's like you die. Do we have everything
in order then? I think so. Montage? You just
see Alfred going around the ship just like, watch
this. And just terrorizing the ship showing her
power? I'm trying to get my kicks in before I...
I have a sneaking suspicion that I'm not going
to be able to come back to this ship after this
plane goes to ship. So I'm just enjoying it.
And I'm taking Frank Laurent because I know he
has a knack for this too. And we're just harassing
these poor guys. Oh, yeah. No, I'm... I'm like...
cool around people around my same level, but
at second round, anybody who's, like, even slightly,
like, subservient, boy, shut up. I feel like
you guys are just going to never fuck with Thread
and Claw. Do you have a telescope? Telescope?
You have a spyglass. That's what I meant. An
inanimate voice from nowhere. It's not just a
regular spyglass. Yours is just, like, obviously
just decked out. It's just really fancy, like,
encrusted with, like, jewelry. It's a little
gaudy. It's like wrapped in silver and gold anyway.
I don't remember where I got it. It has our name
on the side. Fuck. He's like, it's just a gift.
And it has your name? Yeah. It's cyan on the
side. It doesn't say cyan. Yeah, there's a cyan
on the side. And it has a heart and it has B
on there. Yeah, we gotta get rid of both. Awesome.
And then I keep it. This is unbearable. Bag of
holding. It does not bother me at all. It's a
fake name. Fake love. Well, I feel like Harun
is completing his pirate outfit right now. Oh,
Harun, do you want to go stealth mode for this?
For now? Or you mean the Operation Cinnamon Biscuit?
Operation Cinnamon Biscuit. I mean, I could.
I am very stealthy. Well, I was thinking of like
painting you black or something. So you blend
in with the shadows. Oh, sorry. Not just his
face. I got you. The author painted me once and
put a wig on me. This is going to be different.
This is going to be for some reasons and not
pleasure. Which I can only assume because that's
what it is. I don't think he's learned pleasure
yet. No, but I think Sealford knows exactly what
the treasure is. No idea what you're talking
about. Exactly. She gets it. I think we're ready
to get there, Mr. Dan. Yep. That's what that
mission was for. Alright, so you guys are traveling.
It's been about a day and a half. So it's been
about a day. You guys are about halfway there,
a few hours to get there. You know, the next
night went by uneventful. So you guys are a few
hours out. You know, the crew's getting ready
as they're coming over as one of your shipmen
walks up to you and says, Madam Cyan, we have
all your paperwork in order for when we get to
the port. Thank you very much. Also, do you want
your food? Francois is asking if you want your
food right now as well. You're mid -afternoon.
Is he nude? Is this fucking... Tom, figure it
out. Yeah, yes, ma 'am. Everyone has, like, a
deep fear of Cyan. Fuck. Good. Like you're out
of respect going around in your head. Every time
you see... Every time you yell at someone, you
see just Nick's kind of just nodding. Yeah. It's
kind of... You think it's getting mental, Cyan.
It's the first time he's ever taken notes. Yeah.
Okay. Okay. That's how you do it. He starts acting
out on purpose. He's like, do you know who, my
friend's running this bitch, what are you going
to do? Oh, I thought he was acting out, so he'll
throw it. Yeah, exactly. I think he likes the
beat and the bad boy. Hey, see, Oprah, I dropped
this, are you going to hit me? Please. I have
friends who will walk over and spank you. I was
like, I would be down until you send Francois
and then I would try to intimidate him like,
you better walk away. You see him walk over and
he gets halfway through and he looks at you and
just kind of like reassesses and just kind of,
he knows he's taller than you, but he just, for
a moment he looks, but then he just doesn't and
just turns around. I think he's going to show
up and be like in a bonded. I've been bad and
they should still wear the championship belt
too so oh there you go hey you guys are uh anything
you want to do as you're preparing um everything
is Yeah, so you have the paperwork. Yeah, what's
on the paperwork? Is it like a manifest of what
we're picking up? Yeah, so you know that the
ship is being dropped off and it's going to be,
the ship is going to be just standing there for
a little while. But you know that there's no
paperwork for the cargo that's being loaded onto
the lightning rail that you're going to be taking
with him to travel. Okay, and then obviously
it's all coded. Yeah. From my times. bussing
the stuff back and forth, do I understand what
the code is and what's coming on? As you're going
through the page, you do notice that there is
some pages that is in Thieves' Camp. I have Thieves'
Camp, so let me get that out. Yeah, so to them,
it's just a regular manifest, but do you know
that this is a shipment they're playing? I'm
looking at my shorts. The original list that
Sanford had wasn't also in Thieves' Camp, or
did I just not know that? You didn't know that.
No. You can't identify it. It's just normal text.
Sure, sure, sure. But to him, or to her, you
know, she knows. She knows. She knows. She knows.
She knows. He's canceled. Oh, fuck. Redacted,
redacted. He finds it hilarious. That's because
she knows how he'll die. So, um, I would relay
that to who, who mentioned shards last time?
Lasagna and someone else. Harun. Harun. I would
mention just you two. Remember, because Harun
was specifically looking when he told you this.
Yeah, so I'll tell you that. The next shipment
coming in is the dragon shards. Yeah. I say to
the group, who wanted one again? Thank you. I
just wanted one so we could just see what it
is. Figure it out. Well, roll me a contract.
This is like a commonly known item. You guys
are all magically in natural 20. First roll of
the goddamn night. Not as good as 27. Well, I
got a one. so you know that a lot of these are
things that have like a lot of power stored in
them so a lot of people use them for various
things mostly other power source so but like
do we know we don't know what they're planning
on doing with them right they're the cores for
the war that they want to build wait what did
we know that he does frankie did Framie Franklin
did. Oh, shit. I mentioned it to you. I knew
the Warforged part. I don't think I heard the
Shredding Trash limit just for energy. Yeah,
this is the first time he's telling you guys
that. Well, I knew that they were going to be
using those to make a weapon. I just didn't know
it was going to be multiple weapons. Howard,
did you guys not? Do I have to spell it now?
There was Warforged parts that looked just like
him. Then I tell you they have boxes of batteries
coming. What do you think this guy runs on? I
don't know, my instinct was that they were going
to use those to make a bomb. That's what I thought
as well. Yeah, well, but I mean, if you have
a bunch of... You have a self -destruct. Yeah,
where's their switch? Yeah, where's the big red
button? I feel like I've never tried to find
it. Hold on, but I think we're on to something,
though. Like, if there's a bunch of them... Who's
stopping them from creating, like, an ability
that they can do where it is essentially like
a bomb? Nothing. I mean, it's just raw power,
essentially. Yeah, didn't you have, like, a guy
that was, like, creating you that was really
good at it, too? He died. Are we sure he died?
Yeah, I was told he died. My instinct is always
when people die that they haven't actually died.
Unless I've done it. I believe you, Howard. It's
just your memories have been a little shifty.
I can be sure. They don't have a head. You don't
come back from that. I love you, though, Haru.
Well, do you guys want to roll a history check
on that? Do you guys remember who Decaneth is?
I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't
know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.
I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't
know. I rolled a natural one. Yeah, you were
there for that. Cool, because I rolled a three.
No, so you guys remember, I told you guys that
you weren't there. Frankie was there, but he's
not there. He's dead. I mean, I'm not saying
your dad specifically. There could be other people
out there designing these things. I mean... Stronger
versions. My father was but a subsidiary of the
company that decided to keep making Warforged
after they were banned. But there were two that
were fighting for dominance over the Kaneth family
that may know something. Well, I think I figured
it out. I was wrong about the influx of undead.
I'm going to be using these dragon shards to
supercharge Warforged, and then the emerald claw
is going to use those to take over the world.
They might be... I don't know. They're going
to be able to talk some big stuff. Well, they're
preparing for war currently, and they're going
to be making super soldiers out of these. The
Emerald Claw wants their power back, and they
figured out that they can't use undead to do
it. Oh, look at Lozagna. He still feels bad about
this kidnapping plan, because I feel like it's
worth it. Lozagna's just still, like, trying
to take everything in, just like, like, what
the fuck are we supposed to do here? They can
make it make killers. They can gather it however
far they want, but they're still missing a key.
You guys know who that key is, right? What? The
daughter? My sister. You see, I don't know why
she keeps pronouncing her name like that. I thought
I looked over to you. I forgot about her name.
I just know her as the Elven Beauty. Smiler looking
for my sister. So why do you think she was in
hiding? Or why no one has built these robots
till now? She's in a good spot, fairly well hidden
away. Hey, I'm just trying to help you guys get
there. I thought you guys were on the same page.
I'm sorry, I get a little smug sometimes. I've
been on that shit for way too long. I mean, you
found out more shit than we did. We're on the
goddamn ground, boots to the goddamn pavement.
Hey, that's where it is, brother. We're going
in, head first, trying to figure that shit out.
I didn't go into the war. As boots on the ground.
I was the ears of the ground. I got the directions.
I was the one behind the lines. Now that you've
patched up the holes that were there to begin
with, we're all on the same page. We keep the
ladies safe, we get Cinnamon Biscuit done, and
then proceed from there. The easy part is ahead
of us. The hard part is getting them to where
we need them to. How long does your spell work
for? The suggestion? Eight hours. I assume we
can get our appropriate distance away. As long
as we're outside the city by eight hours. Then
we can go unwilling as much as we want. Yeah,
so you guys are... But if somebody else has a
saving throw thing, I do have mine sliver so
I can mindfuck him and make him more susceptible
to whatever saves. Hilarious. That is fear. I
have fear too. Just screaming down the aisle.
I have to hit someone for my fear to go work.
I have to spell fear so I can just make him go
run away. I don't have too much on that. I can
go invisible. I can comprehend all spoken languages.
I can also go invisible. But I do have, like,
a spell that will just teleport in unwillingly.
And also greater invisibility, so I could just
be invisible and be... You should have led with
that, Franklin. Why? It seems more fun. I like
a little bit of mayhem with my subterfuge. I
mean, I have a spell that could kind of make
it a little bit easier, but... I feel like it's
a very well -known spell and people are going
to see it happen. It'll help with the saving
throws. Well, yeah. But it's a verbal. I mean,
if we suggest them, like, far away, right? Because
we just have to get Baldwin. Baldwin doesn't
seem like too bright of a guy. So I think we
get him far enough away. Oh, it's after? Oh,
okay. I think you hit him with Bane. Okay. And
then, I don't know, I could hit him with all
of us slow. Got it, got it, got it. Got it, okay.
I thought you were talking about in the city.
Okay, I understand. No. We're good. Okay, so
you guys formulated your plan. Yeah, so it's
a couple hours in the past. You guys are loading
up. How did you get through that? He is the city
of Flanky. And, um, you know, you're unloading,
and you're kind of like in this port. You see
a carriage, several carriages actually, rolling
up. One of them, real gaudy, has a big... It
just has a B on the side of it. Yeah, it has
a big, it has a D .O .R .I. symbol on there,
the crest. Um, as you see, you see them kind
of... I'm gonna choke back and vomit in my mouth.
With a big smile and a strong laugh. Yeah, as
you see Baldwin coming out of this gaudy carriage.
As you see, he sees, uh, he sees Cyan! As he
kind of gestures over to you and kind of just...
As I'm dying inside. As you see him walking over,
as he can just come, my darling. That's it. The
Whisper of Zero Four Watch Festivals. One smirk
comes up. And then I give him my kiss on each
cheek. Yeah. And then he takes your hand. And
then you see him just start kissing you on the
arm. I stop when we start getting, like, too
aggressive up to, like, towards the elbow. Harun
takes out champagne and pours two glasses off
for it to him. He's like, oh, you've trained
your steps real well. Only the best for mine.
Do you have your maid's outfit on? I definitely
would have swapped out. And he said, I've missed
you, my darling. It's been far too long. So what's
the plans for today? Well, I figured we could,
before we head out tomorrow, we could spend a
day together, just you and I. I like that. Any
locations? I'm so tired of the... and the city
lights. Is there somewhere outside, a little
bit of the countryside we can see? You mean like
a cabin of some sorts? That sounds so much more
calming. On the lake? Do you want to be near
the water? Do I know anything about where that
lake would roughly be located? Is it like secluded?
You don't really know the geography of the city
that well. Actually, roll me History, see if
you know the... Can I roll too? Roll me a history
check. I said I've been doing a lot of maps.
Roll me a history check to see if you've got
anything in your maps. 18, 19 plus... I don't
know. After he hands off the shaman, he goes
through all of his maps. Let me pull up my real
map. Because their flame keep is like on a body
of water. Or not on, but like basically right
next to it. Oh yeah, you're next to the body
of water, yeah. So he's talking more about like,
not the lake lake, but like the kind of big body
of water there? Yeah, he just said lake because
he's talking out of his ass. He doesn't know
shit. He's a rich asshole. He doesn't know a
lake from, you know, a bay, whatever. You hear
one of his assistants like, you mean the river?
He just ignores him and says shut up. And he
says, we can go near the water. You see him snap.
As he starts snapping, it's not even looking
at him. And he comes over and says, find us a
cabin near the water. We're going to have ourselves
a romantic getaway. I pull out a map to one of
his assistants and show him a map. And I'm like,
maybe point something out. As you see, Baldwin
says, Just find me somewhere where we're not
near a lot of scum. I can help lead you there.
I'm very good with the forest. I'm so glad you
got some skilled help. It's so hard to find you.
I have no idea. My tarot goes on that boat. You
see him. You've been accompanying them as he
takes off his coat and he hands it to you. Be
a deer and take this for me. I love deer and
I take it. I was friends with a deer, actually,
back home. I'm gonna nudge him in the ribs. He's
like, just go, just go. What did I do? Did you
see one of his sisters kind of takes from you
and just kind of walks away? He didn't even look
at you when he gave it to you. He just kind of
handed it, expecting that you were just going
to take it. His name was Alphonse, by the way.
He said, sure, sure. He doesn't even look at
you or acknowledge you. Yes, Harum, the deer.
And he says, are you bringing your help along?
I know the... The gadget man over there, he...
Just to ruin with us specifically, they'll help
secure the way. Whatever you need, it is at my
test. Does he give back rubs? Yes. My hands just
go... I'm ready. Fury blows. Yeah. Back rubs.
Donkey punch. Damn. We're trying to get the ring
off, not kill the guy. No, no, no. Baldwin says,
but first I want to take you out to dinner. I
want to make sure you're... I'm so exhausted.
Can we go there first? It sounds so good when
you mentioned it. I'm an excellent cook. Yes,
the robot is an excellent cook. Who's here playing
the part for this guy? I had to hire some help
because the last crew wasn't really very good
at securing the goods. Okay. Those train parts
are so expensive. Yeah, the train parts are very
expensive. Just make sure that they keep their
hands off of the crates. If they know what's
good for them. I'd like to offer him a cinnamon
biscuit and I'll have it on a very nice piece
of satin fabric that I stole from Siafra's room.
No, from around the top of the spice glass. The
same silver. Oh, there you go. He just kind of
takes it and says, oh, this is delicious. Did
Francois make this? I made this. I'm gonna whisper
in Elvish. Soon. Tonight. You fucker. You see,
they're loading the ship with some stuff. He
says, we'll go to the train after. We're leaving
tomorrow morning. We can spend the night in the
cabin. Just you and I. And my guards will stand
outside, make sure we're safe. Good thinking.
If you'd like, later, I may... He needs someone
to blast. That's what that is. It's more believable.
You'll harvest. You feel a firm hand grab your
shoulder. Son of a bitch. And I turn around,
and do I see Wallace? Oh, yeah. He stabs him.
I initiate our secret handshake. Yes, canon.
It's canon, yeah. He initiates it and he brings
it in and he says, My friend. Oh, how have you
been? I've been well. Been busy taking care of...
And he whispers this fucking asshole. Understood.
I had to go with him on his date. Franklin's
like, oh yeah, huh? I can only imagine. I polished
off the rest of that brandy that you gave me,
always in a celebratory fashion. He's like, do
you have your flask with you? Of course I do.
He takes it and just refills it. Oh, you're a
man after my own heart, Wallace. And he turns
to you like this, where's Frankie? Everyone steps
away and leaves everyone for a second. You hear
him say Frankie. You talking about my brother?
He looks at you and like, you sound familiar.
I don't think I ever got your name, but I've
seen you a few times. This is Franklin. I was
on briefly to train Remy. Yeah, Franklin, he's
cool with us. And I kind of wink at him. I'll
wink at him too. And I'll put my hand on Wallace's
shoulder and say, it's going to be okay. I thought
you were going to say, you like that flask I
gave you? He said, uh... What happened? Where's
Fragan? Listen, uh... There's no easy way to
put it. He's dead. Son of a bitch. Did he owe
you money, too? No, he gave me this flask. Oh,
yeah, that's right. He's just like... He said,
here's to Fragan as he takes a chug. Can I take
a chug with you? Cheers. As he hands it over
to you and says... Take a big ol' flask, especially
for what we're about to do. Or a big ol' drink
of the flask. I like to be fully present. So,
are you just chugging? Because it doesn't stop
as you're chugging. Well, it'll probably be like,
you know, like a good shot or two, you know.
Take a mouthful. Yeah, take a mouthful and then...
He's laughing. Yeah, that's some good stuff.
Frankie would like that. He looks at Frank and
says, would you like? Frankie never drank. Well,
I was more afraid to... How he, you know, always
served us alcohol. Oh, my God. Yes, Franklin
would love to be remembered, purely for his bartending
prowess. He was a great bartender. He really
was. He looks at Franklin with the flask and
says, Would you like a swig? No, I tell him I'd
like to say holy present. All right. Well, Nick,
Wallace is offering a drink of his unlimited
flask right now. All right, we'll take a shot.
Frank was just turning it down. All right, go
until I can. Maybe we hold on and not get sloppy
immediately before. You see Nix kind of jump
up and just... I look at Frank and I'm like,
this is... I can't stop. As Nix is... It's been
like 30 seconds and he has not stopped. I'm going
to grab it. As Nix... Go ahead and roll me a
con save, because you've been through for 30
seconds straight. Sorry, there's a guy opening
Emily's car door. Oh my god. A dude? Like, deadass.
Someone call her. No, I just hit her up. I'm
just trying to... At your house? Like, right
now? No, not... No, he was a door dasher. The
fuck? Opened her car door and then put the food
inside her car. Yeah would be unlocked I guess
you didn't lock her car, but Yeah, well you might
get free door to dash for a year Yeah, turn this
guy into a missing persons case You've been chugging
for like 30 seconds straight. Are you drinking?
Yeah, I'm drinking. That one don't count unless
it's a natural 20. Chris. Uh, 20. Yeah, you're
good. But, um, guys, if you... I'll always just
try to grab this from you. Go ahead and roll
your opposing strike checks. All right. Fuck
yeah, baby. 21. He was so concentrated on the
drinking that you'll have his hand. And I'm going
to hand it back to Wallace. He just looks at
you and just, I'm impressed. I've never seen
someone handle their alcohol like that. Except
for me. He's gotten a lot of experience since
last we've seen you. He's got no gagging reflex.
Yeah, I'm just built differently. He says, I'll
have to take you out for a drink one of these
days. That's the one. I can assure you if you
do that, it'll drain your wallet. I've never
lost a drinking contest in my life. Okay, let's
try this right here, right now, buddy. Oh, well,
we gotta... We gotta take care of... Hold off
for now. Okay. Yeah, as a... Uh, Wallace says,
uh, he turns to, uh, he says, uh, Lady Cyan,
my nephew and I will be accompanying you on your
excursion. To the cabin? Yes, we're your guards.
Oh, you made it sound like a boy was coming with
us. No, my nephew. And he comes over and, like,
you see, it's a young elf man who's, like, looks
like he's, like, early 20s. Okay. He's in training.
Please. He is trying his best. He will. He's
a good, hearty young man. Who's saying this?
Wallace. Wait, we met his... Yeah. Oh, we met
him already. Yeah. Oh, yeah, we already dealt
with him. Yeah. We'll deal with him tonight,
too. He's the nephew that you guys... So, yeah,
you guys already met with him. He kind of just
looks... He comes back at this point and goes,
Hey! He's like, You guys were on the rail with
me. Yeah. He's like, I recognize the tall ladder
guy. I'm good friends with your uncle. Yeah,
he's a good man. I want to, like, give him a
hug. And then as I'm hugging him, I'm going to
be like, you'll be all right. He just has a little
confusion. so much ominous forewarning tonight
all you gotta do is lay down and close your eyes
tonight you he's like if you hear something tonight
no you didn't operation hand banana tonight so
yeah they're packing the bags as you see another
assistant for Baldwin comes up and he hands him
some paperwork and he kind of just issues him
and if you see him like put some other paperwork
inside inside the uh perception check yeah can
I also do a perception check but for something
else yeah what do you perceive it for me grab
it yeah is he coming with us uh so right now
so I think they're gonna use the room 30 20.
You don't see Remy anywhere. So right now this
is just... They're loading... You had heard him
say they're loading elsewhere for the lightning
round. This is just the port for the ships, the
flying ships coming in. Bonnie and Earl are separate,
but Remy will be with lightning round. Yeah.
I mean, you saw paperwork. You're assuming it's
probably paperwork for the shipments that they're
loading in. I mean, but it's going inside of
his fancy -ass wagon that he got. He says, your
assistants can ride in one of the other carts
if they fit. I don't care. Or if there's a wagon,
they can haul them in there. I would never burden
you with transportation. I shall run alongside.
And I pull out the little beeper. Beep, beep.
And it comes out on its own. Like a P8 engine.
He says, wow, that's nice. How much do you want
for it? I don't have one of those yet. 50 ,000
gold. He looks at you and says, No, no, that's
far too much for that. It's limited edition.
Yeah, so you haven't seen one of these before,
right? Well, since I don't have one, I'll see
if I can get another one. That's alright. This
is the only thing I've ever heard. Did you hear
what he said? I said, that's fine. I thought
we were going to do it with a high roller. He
looks at us like, Cheyenne, get your staff. Keep
them in line. I'm going to walk over and I just
slap you super hard across your face. Oh yeah,
no, there's like zero emotion, and his eyes have
not opened. And he says, thank you. Baldwin,
how long is it going to take for us to get there?
He says, I don't know. Ask the help. You're the
help. You find out for me. Wallace, how long
is it going to take for us to get there? The
ride's about a few hours. That'll be like two
or three. All right. Sounds good. I can bump
that down to an hour and a half. I don't know
why I just picture your heart is like... sprinting
in front of the wagons and the wagons just chasing
them behind them. He just takes them like, we
don't even know how to drive. You see the horses
there and he grabs a bit and he's charging. He
puts the bit in his mouth. The horses are trying
to keep up with him. Gotta show up these horses.
You see him running ahead of them with Nix. Y
'all ain't shit. Yeah, Nix in my back was just
like... Everyone's running backwards, making
eye contact with your horse. I'd like to get
a count of the guards as we take off. So, um...
I know there's Wallace and his nephew. Yeah,
Wallace goes into the carriage. So, Siofra and
Baldwin go into one carriage with Wallace and
another assistant. And then his nephew and another
driver are on his carriage. And then there's
two guards. each carriage, and there's three
separate carriages, so there are six other guards,
because there's two carriages. Six in total?
Yeah. Well, six other guards, not including the
two others. Eight in total. Eight in total? Yeah.
We didn't get two smiles out of you? What? Two
smiles out of you? But yeah, because I have natural
explore, I get there quicker. Yeah, so you guys
are going to have a quick pace. As you notice,
can I say something before we leave? Yeah. I
just wanted to be an eagle, a giant eagle in
the sky. Just getting a bird's eye view. Scree!
Okay. And then if we need to, you know, if anything
comes up, I'll be able to let people know. I'll
spin the play off with you two just to cover
both sides, you know? I forgot you could do that
too. Well, I can't do the same thing you're doing.
You're all just fine next to me. I think you
have advantage on protected checks over there.
Yep. Oh yeah, challenge rating. Challenge rating
one. Yep, I could be a giant eagle. Yeah, you
could be a giant eagle. Oh yeah, so you could
definitely make me some protected checks. So,
19 on the first one. Then, 16 on the second one.
And then, covering whatever side he's still on.
Just kind of staying opposite of him wherever
he's at. Give like a full circle. He's going
to have a 14. You guys don't really notice any
obstacles, but you do notice as people are seeing
the caravan go through, they're actively going
out of the way to avoid coming in contact or
getting in the way. Everyone's kind of passing
aside and trying not to be a nuisance. You realize
they're a pretty big deal, so they're just trying
not to get in their way. They're trying to just
be like... So you notice you're like, huh, we're
pretty big, big deals. I'm sure that's what Franklin
said. Yeah. It was a pretty big deal. Yeah. Franklin
was pretty big. Yeah, they were a pretty big
deal. So, yeah, everyone you see is just parting
aside. They're getting through. Your harvest
is kind of like, you see him, you need to see
your bird. He's in the front carriage. You don't
remember how he got there, but he's in the front
carriage. He's kind of directing and leading.
So, when you feel like record time, well, I was
saying about two, three hours, but about an hour
and a half, and you guys are already at this,
like, Along the river, there's a big cabin. He
said it was a quaint cabin, but it looks like
it's probably the size of... It's bigger than
most of the houses you guys have been in already.
It's quaint for him. And you see there's a barn
on the side with some animals. As you guys are
walking up, he just says, This is my modest cabin.
There is staff on hand, so if we do need assistance...
Appreciate that. Let's you and me have a moment.
I'm going to just take him into the cabin by
himself. Just smile real big. And he says, don't
worry, I brought your things in the cabin. Two
of the wagons are just your stuff. Oh, thank
you. Always so considerate. Alright, two of the
wagons. And we're just going to drink as heavily
as possible. Obviously I'm going to try to slide
a hand so he doesn't notice me not drinking.
Oh yeah. He is already drinking heavily. As you
see him, he says, I'm getting a little hungry
now. I'm like trying to be nearby, so. Are you
alone or are you bringing her in with you? Once
he says he's hungry, I bring Jess her in. As
you see, so you guys are inside the main area.
The rest of you guys are outside. They brought
the rest of the carriages and the stuff into
the big barn area. Some of the other guards are
there. as the six guards are with the stuff.
Wallace is kind of directing them. He says, two
of you post up near the back door. The nephew
and I will near the front. You two at the barn.
And then he'll say, the other two near the front
entrance of the compound. He's kind of directing
the guards where to be. And he turns to the guards
and says, my nephew's new to this. We are going
to be, Guarding as well. I'm assuming you guys
are here for the same thing. Can someone roll
a d6? D6? Oh, now you got it. Whoever did it
first. Oh, that's cocked. All right, Ben, you
go for it. Fuck, we're going. So only you get
a telepathic thought connection. That sucks,
because I was hoping to get multiple people in.
So what's the plan? We're starting Operation
Rise. Cinnamon biscuit soon? This is not the
most enjoyable time of year. I just kind of want
to yell, go at everybody. And they kind of does
whatever they think they should be doing. Well,
right now, like, you see Wallace dragging traffic
and telling the guards where to go. Can we go
up to Wallace? Yeah. He's here. They're unloading,
and as they're, like, right, and they're just,
you see them unloading cargo from two of the
wagons that were part of the caravan, and there's
food in there, there's, Tons and tons of trunks.
You don't know what's in the trunks, but there's
a lot of stuff being unloaded as well. Wait,
we have a one -on -one, right? Yep. How loyal...
I'm going to say, how loyal is Wallace to...
I think he's an acquaintance. I don't know what
to name him. He's a drinking buddy to the Fay
guy. Oh, shit, the horse. That's so rude. I wouldn't
trust him. Okay, cool. I feel like that's a green
light. That's as green as the light gets. I'm
already thinking in my head, like, how upset
will they be? And I was like, well, Nyx will
have the flask. He'll be fine. I know he's going
to be disappointed. But your horse will also
be disappointed. But it's okay. It's a telepathic
connection, so you're thinking this way. Don't
kill him. I feel like it'd cause more problems.
Maybe just... Maybe hold off on him. Straight
up to Wallace. I try to pull him aside. Yeah,
as you see him, it says, uh, yes. Remind me of
your name. It's been a while since I've seen
you. Wallace, it's been a long time. He says,
you were Remy's friend, right? Remy's friend.
We were good friends. He was talking about you
and another guy. Yes, yes. And Wallace, before
we go into really any more details, what if I
just tell you you can just take the night off?
He kind of looks at you and says, he kind of
leans in, what do you mean take the night off?
I just want to say, just go chill tonight. Am
I in earshot of this conversation? Are you trying
to be quiet? I told you I pulled him aside. So
you guys can see him on the side, but you can't
really hear what's happening. You can see them
kind of talking. You can't hear what's happening
because there's stuff going on, but you can see
them talking on the side. Take Wallace's nephew.
aside and say if this whole ordeal is uh is very
easy i can show you the ropes and i'm just gonna
lead them off to uh where we you know can close
up really all you need to do is just watch in
one direction and uh stay awake it's the hardest
thing that you're gonna do can i sorry before
as well as like we're playing back to him can
i like hit him with a uh Well, I want to do the
detect thoughts. And I'm going to focus on walls.
Okay. Are you doing just the base thoughts, or
are you doing... No, I'll dive deep. All right.
Is that going to be a save, right? That's going
to be a wisdom save. And they know that they're
being targeted, right? Yeah. Either way, the
target knows you're probing its mind. Maybe I'll
just leave it at Surf Sauce and I'll go from
there. Yeah, Surf Sauce, you just kind of hear,
he's kind of thinking like, God damn it, here
we go again. This isn't the first rodeo. As he
kind of says to you, he whispers in, What are
you going to do? Do you remember how you were
saying to us that you did not like Baldwin? We're
trying to help him, but we can't do that. I don't
want to we can't do that So maybe you just go
guard another post not here No, that's like there's
multiple other solutions there's multiple other
solutions in the mix here that we're trying to
work around but that's like bottom tier you know
but we just I just don't want to have a problem
Wallace you're a good guy and I'm trying to be
a good friend Am I getting any surface thoughts
about what Wallace is going through right now?
Oh, fuck yeah. Yeah, yeah. He just says... Because
I can't hear what he's talking about, but I'm
definitely still listening. You just hear...
God damn it. Is this going to be worth it? And
he just says... I'm almost going to give away
for the price. How much is your hourly rate?
Is that what he pays me? How much? Uh, 500 gold
is all I'm giving away. We know, we both know,
Wallace, that you do not get paid 500 gold. Look
at you. But he says, I'll reduce it, I'll reduce
it down to 350. He turns around and says, I'll
talk to your horse. I'm overhearing some, I mean.
You kind of see him kind of whispering back and
forth in your heart. And, uh, Wallace just kind
of starts walking away. Before he does, uh, I'm
gonna pull this. I'm gonna pull him in, like,
back to, like, where's the lock? We try, we're,
like, slowly coming away, and he comes back in
and pulls us back in. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I'm
gonna, uh... We're all presenting, Jyxie, if
you see this happening. As you're kind of explaining.
As he's, like, turning them, like, away. Oh,
more than likely. Do I actually know my favorite
turn? Hold on a second. I would, um... Look at
Wallace and say we're looking at Wallace, but
talking as long I'm gonna say as he decided if
he wants to look through the night and I'd like
to probe deep on that one. Yeah, you kind of
see they're talking and you see Franklin's going
to conversation as you see like they're kind
of huddled down. Is that right? Can I have a
little persuasion on that thing? As he looks
at Franklin and says, Luke's disgusting to Christ.
Uh, your life's not enough. And like I said,
I want to probe deep, so he wants to make that
wisdom save for me. Uh, yeah, go ahead. What's
the wisdom save? 19. Uh, 21. 21? Yeah. Okay.
Feel trapped. So he can feel my intrusion. As
he looks at you and he says, uh, it's not the
first time. Someone's tried that. But it could
be yours. 350, and I just put it on my hand.
He says, he says, uh, look, I'm going to, he's
like, I don't like the guy as much as you guys
do, but I'm going to, he's like, but. We're trying
to help. We're trying to make your life better,
so help us help you. 350 for, something goes
sideways. 350, and you live, man, it's so important
that you live through this night, because the
Mars is going to be upset with me if you don't.
I've killed a lot of things in the war, I don't
think it'd be a problem. I mean, you know what?
I honestly would love to test this out with you.
Wallace 400, and we'll call it even. Remember
the fight we did together on that ship? Oh, I
sure do. I had your back. I'm pretty positive
if it wasn't for your horrors, you wouldn't be
here. But that's my boy. You hear y 'all horrors
as you kind of pull up, I'm sure. You hear him
whistle as he looks at your horrors and he waves
you over. I look to his nephew and I tell him,
we'll continue this in a bit. I'm just saying,
just because they're green doesn't mean that
they don't stick out. And I go and I walk over
to the others. Alright. And he says... We're
trying to save the world. Thank you. And you
get to live, my man. I so badly don't want to
kill you tonight. No one... Tonight? You're not.
I'm not there. Very specific. Listen. Good thing
he caught that. If I wasn't here, this asshole
might have different plans for you. Well, it's
the same plan. You got a hundred gold? What's
your price? I think the food's ready by now.
So I'm serving Baldwin after the slice. We're
just over there having a little big dinner. This
fucking, this small little two -huddle person
turned into a giant small circle. Do I see this
giant circle? It's hard for you not to see it.
It's just like comes in underneath us. What are
we doing? He says, your friend's over here. How
many, how open are we? How on the open are we?
You guys are in the barn as people are like unloading
and loading stuff, but like Wallace is trying,
so he's kind of talking to you guys. So no one's
really paying attention because Wallace is the
one that's giving everyone else a look. So we're
surrounded by people. Yeah. Alright. But you're
kind of just whispering among yourselves. You
guys aren't trying to like... Wallace, have they
given you any gold yet? Not yet. Alright, I pull
out my coin purse and I take out 600 gold and
I hand it to him. All right, look the other way.
He says, I'll be guarding tonight, and then I'll
go first roll. He says, me and you will guard
the front door. The guys in the back will go
help the adults. All right. How hard was that
to just give the $500? I mean, I was just trying
to make my plan go out of hand. I can negotiate
this. I mean, I was trying to negotiate a little
bit. I was more than happy for this. You were
ready to start blasting. Wallace, if you would
have told me it was that easy, I thought I was
just paying you off. He's like, yeah, that's
why you gave me gold. Do you know how these things
work? I get what you mean about you thought you
were just paying an individual off. So you tax
that up. It's going to be expensive. You didn't
know it was an all for one deal. I do look at
Lasagna and Franklin, though. Nobody. dies tonight.
And then they wake up in the morning. These aren't
goblins. We don't kill them. i'll tell my nephew
to guard the back and then uh i'll tell him i'll
go and we'll we'll relieve him and then what
what time of the day is it sorry it's it's getting
to like evening right now yeah okay flights are
going down uh you you guys uh rolling potential
checks actually all of us yeah uh even me tell
you okay good i got a Oh, that's way past 20.
I only got a four. Is this something that my
owl would catch on the outside? Can he smell?
He can smell. Yeah, but his eyesight. Oh, yeah,
no. It's before he starts to smell. Yohar is
immediately like, he smells food cooking. And
you think dinner's being made. And you're just
like. You guys see Yohar's perk up and you're
just like, oh, God. I start levitating ever so
faintly off of the throne. And he says, we can
make this work. And he looks at you and says,
uh, just make sure he doesn't die. No one dies
tonight. We just need to get in, do our thing,
and leave. Also, what is it that is cooking in
there? I don't know. What does it smell like?
You smell like roasted meat, potatoes, and, like,
fresh bread as well. Ah, sluts. I'm going to,
uh, you know, in my head to the CEO product.
Wallace and the guards are paid off. They're
going to take the night off, and we are a go.
Do we want to wait till after? I have a plan,
and I'm going to try to persuade him to go to
the bedroom where I will tie him up. You don't
even got to persuade him. Yeah, so I am tying
him to the bed. And then letting them come in
after the time. Just edging that man. Oh, my
God. You say get to bed, and he's running, taking
his pants off already. He says, I missed your
touch. I'm going to be full butt naked when the
rest of all these guys come in. As you're serving
dinner, like, they're eating, and so he's kind
of done eating as you see him start taking his
clothes off and just... I start catching the
clothes that are flying off and folding them.
And following behind. Like, you're putting them
on? No. Catch. I'm Baldwin. I'm Baldwin. That's
what I was going to say. You actually, do you
want me to send them a check while you're in
here? See if you know his name in the cabinet.
Uh, that's 15 plus. Excuse. Uh, 19. So, um, prior
to them, uh, you know, the help leaving, you
know, They were unloading some trunks and some
of them were wardrobes. There is a hat labeled
hats. I mean, there is a box labeled hats. Who's
carrying the box labeled hats? They were being
carried by the guards, but they've been put inside
already. I just say out loud, be like, oh, move
this? Okay. To no one. You can walk up and just
pick up a box. Yeah, I'm just messing with the
hats now. I'm just like putting off the side
I'm like opening this shit so there's a bunch
of you assume it might be it's Baldwin because
they're like hats meant for like there's some
that look you see that match the suits he wears
and like there's some that have like embroidered
his name on the side and some that have like
like diamonds and other stuff encrusted into
them you can take that embroidery off just kidding
I was thinking that I was like what's throwing
this shit off you can put a dagger to it to shave
it off so I'm gonna go back and do his head I'm
like I think now's an opportune time to make
a scene. Make sure to knock me out, quote unquote.
Yeah, so yeah, you tie him up. I was going to
throw you a slight hand, but you got it. Yeah,
you tie him up as you blindfold him, and he's
just waiting. He's butt naked waiting. It's like
evening now. I mean, like getting night. You
see Wallace sends his nephew to the barn, and
he's there as Yoharis. Him and Yoharis are at
the front. I'm assuming the rest of you walk
up. He looks at the rest of you and Franklin,
and he kind of gives you a wink and says, I'm
going first roll. I think it would be a good
idea if you all were a little roughed up. At
least a couple. Maybe you and your nephew. Not
by us, but just look like you've been through
it. Just know the suspicion rolls back on you.
He says, oh, don't worry. And he looks at Nick
and says, Nick, come here. Yeah. He says, I know
you're good at swinging. He says, give me a good
one. Roll damage. Don't hold back. This is like
full person size. If it's a normal hit, air handed,
it's just a straight hit. You walk up and just
punch him straight in the face. He spits and
then he just chugs and he says, alright, give
me another. Alright, I give him like two more.
And you see, you get him. Sorry, sorry. Had to
hold back the dragon there. Wop, wop. For another
total of 12. And he's just like, ugh. You see
him walk away, and he's like, and then he's like,
alright, we're good, we're sold. Alright, I give
him one more chest kick. I believe it. Dave,
now that you've endured, that's something somebody
would do willingly. This kick is not something.
Who bruises their own sternum? I'm not a guilty
guy. Come on now. You can't do that to yourself.
As he says, all right. He says, make it quick.
He's like, I'll be back in the morning. He's
just like this job. I've jacked maybe like three
hats out of this box. And then I return to my
friends. They are all different colors. There's
probably at least 30 hats in here. Yeah, I'm
tempted to grab all of them because of the bag
of holding, but I only grabbed like three. I'm
proud of you. I'll let you choose the colors
later. While we're walking back, can I try to,
by very small chance of divine intervention,
to have my god help me out here? Yeah, go for
it. Help me kidnap this man. You can use your
inspiration for this. Guardians. Can't do that.
Oh, no. 83. You can use your inspiration if you
want to use it. Try it. Do it, coward. Push the
roll. All right. Push the roll means you have
to take your pants off. Nice. All right. All
right. Hoping for a two. 28. Damn it. Ooh. Close.
Use your luck. I mean, someone else can use their
inspiration. I'm kidding. I want to make a deal
with the devil. I want to make a deal with the
devil. You could. I would like to call out to
the devil to get in contact with my god. My people
will talk to your people. It's fine. The devil
and my god are the same person. He's really just
communicating with himself. The devil and the
god then look at the DM and go, what the fuck
are we supposed to do? The conversation is happening
in a mirror. Okay, so, quick huddle outside the
room. Okay, so... Are you guys stealthing, by
the way, or are you guys just kind of... We should
be stealthing. Yeah, well, I mean, like, we're
not, like, right outside the room. We're, like...
Oh, okay. We're, like, Walser took off, quick
huddle, steal protection, to the huddle. It's
to break in and get him. Right? I'm assuming
you told him what he's talking about. I've told
him, like, he's dealt with. Just get your asses
in here. All right. Leroy! Just make sure I'm
the enemy! I want to come in and, like, attack,
like, grapple Seafarer. Okay. If I could just
self in the room real quick before we go. I was
going to put a mask on. I'm wearing a mask. He
puts a sock over his head. I'm not sure if you
heard, but C. Alfred did blindfold him as well.
I know. He has a sock. I have something before
all of us. Let me just stealthily sneak in. I'm
hiding my footsteps. I don't know if I want to
stop unless you said something audibly to me
and stopped me. Yeah. You did? Okay. Guys, hold
on just one sec. Alright. Give me, like, 30 seconds.
Uh, cell phone room. Can I move myself? Yeah.
Nick starts counting down the line. That's gonna
be a 24 to 7. Time is a concept. Oh yeah, you're
good. Yeah, so I'm just trying to, uh, settle
in there. Um. So you walk in, he's naked and
tied up in blindfolds. And see how for his head.
No, he's in the right cell phone room. One sec.
To see how for, I'm gonna say. Don't make any
noise yet. And I'm going to have, like, silently
left the door open, right? Mm -hmm. And then
I'm going to turn to Lozagna and give him the
nod. Okay. To hit with Bane. Bless. I'm just
kidding. Bane. Bane? Bane gives a 1d4 to the
saving throw. Yeah, opposite of Bless. Oh, gotcha.
Okay, yeah. Attack rolls and saving throws. Okay.
And then... It's a d4. Cool. So he's got Bane
on him? Yes. And then, so I'm going to, um, make
a suggestion. And that is, um... Siofra... Okay.
Cyan. Cyan is, um... You'll comply with everything
we tell you. Cyan is badly beaten in the other
room. He just says, uh, uh, I saw your hand.
Don't touch her. Yes. And that's what the complying
is for. He says, she's my, she's my, my one and
only. Do you love her? Yes. That was a magical
suggestion, too. That wasn't me, like, whispering
in his ear. That was me suggesting to him. I'll
do anything. Please don't harm her. That's when
I'm going to motion everybody else in. I'll be
outside looking in the doorway, seeing if anybody's
coming in. I still want to fake grab you, though,
and act like I'm grabbing you. Sure. You kind
of like it, though. No one's out there. All the
guards are not there. He's struggling a little
bit, but he's tied up. And he's like, just please
have armor. I'll give you whatever you want.
Money? Do you want money? Yes, but stay still.
That's normal. All right, so the ring's there.
Yeah. Okay, can I go to the ring and then just
try to... I'm sure we've already done it, but
while I'm here, just arcana check on it one more
time just to see what we can figure out. Go ahead,
arcana check. Okay, me as well. Got it. Yeah.
17. It's a magic ring. Yeah. But you need to
identify it in order to know. Oh, yeah. Isn't
that you? Can you identify it? Oh, I can't identify
it. So, yeah. I will put a finger on it and it
has to identify it. Perfect, yeah. It has to
let me know what happened. So, this is no ordinary
ring. This is a symbiotic ring. Symbiotic? Yes.
Okay. So, it's like a living ring that is on
him. Gotcha. And you know the only way to remove
it is to remove the curse. Okay. Do I get a sense
at all if the whole finger came off without changing
anything? No, this thing would just attach itself
to its body, so it is pretty much intertwined
with its body. I guess Paul and Scott would.
But if you have removed the curse, you can remove
it. I don't have removed the curse. I have removed
the body. So you know that it is a symbiotic
thing. Got it. This is my specialty. So if you
could tie up the other room, give her a couple
of snacks. There you go. I got 50 feet of rope
and a great attitude. I love the energy. Sorry.
Okay. We're asleep, bro. They start getting hungry.
No, you're good. All right, see you guys. We'll
be calling in here pretty soon, too, though.
Sounds good. Bye. Bye. See, I'm not wearing a
semiotic ring, so these things are not easy to
get. So these types of materials are really...
I'm not sure how much your character wouldn't
really know much about these types of things.
This is kind of like a new thing to you. Yeah,
okay. Yeah, I mean, the instant I'm like, alright,
this can't get taken off the body, I'm like,
the whole body's going to the information broker.
Don't worry. Alright, um... But, yeah, so...
Nix? Yes? Could you make, uh, go to this window
and make us an exit? Uh, I kicked the window.
Hold on, how do we plan on getting this gentleman
there? Uh, I think we, uh... I throw him over
my shoulders and I run out. I'm still naked.
He's naked. My plan is, well, okay, my plan really
was to, uh, originally was to kill everybody,
burn down the house. Hard to tell who was us,
who was the enemy. Goddamn right, it's not an
option. My concern is that we didn't find the
information broker. The information broker found
us. I think I have a way to get in contact. Do
I have a way to get in contact with him? Yeah,
you do. I think I can get in contact with him.
I don't know if you've heard of Paul's cell phone.
I'll shoot him a text. Is it the spell FaceTime?
He used to call me on your spell phone. But I...
Before we left the mission, I don't know if you
noticed, I hung back and got a little way to
contact him. Interesting. Lazagna will remember
that. He knows what's good for him pretty well.
So you hung back and found out a way? Yeah. I
was the last one in there and he flew me. So
I come back in the room after doing my due on
to Seofra. Shaking my hands out. You can see
that they're kind of bruised. Are we taking her
with us or are we just leaving this one here?
Above table. Is Bronson going to be back? Because
I don't want to just ditch his ass. It depends
on the kids if he can next time, but possibly.
We'll figure that out later. Cool. Well, I will,
knowing what I know about how to get in contact
or whatever with the information broker, I will
mentally shoot like a, here's where we're headed.
So let's go, bro. Okay. Yeah. And then I think
that's a good spot to call it since I... Yeah.
In the middle of a kidnapping? Kidnapping? I'm
just kidding. Hey, Lazaga wouldn't... In the
middle of a cinnamon biscuit? I would also like
it canon that I did pick up his clothes. He did.
If that's needed. Yeah, and then... I think you
should take the rest of the hats and just burn
the roof. Lazaga loves burning things. It's not
a horse. It's not worth burning. Oof. Tree's
already dead. They're killing it again. It's
already had to go through one life. Alright,
guys. Thanks for listening. Thank you for listening,
everyone. Great D &D, folks. Bye!