Welcome everyone, this is Frickin' Nerds, a D
&D podcast where 7 people play Dungeons and Dragons
and we fight the forces of evil. I am Lazogna
Moscon, the druid wood elf cleric, who obviously
doesn't remember his actual name. And fun, false,
it's fine, it's fine. We're already moving on.
Dude, that's hard. Fun false fact about Nix is
that he actually likes reading and another false
fact is that his favorite book is about anti
-gravity and he can't put it down. That's a good
one. Sorry, what was that? I spaced out. Shoot
for the stars with that joke. I tried. You know,
sometimes they hit and miss. Sometimes they just
blow the way. Sometimes you just gotta beat them
with Orion's belt. Oh, what do you guys moonlight
as comics? As comets. Ah, there we go. I thought
I was the dad of the group. you're the daddy
hey oh no I'm Jalen playing Nick's false fact
about Frankie or Franklin sorry Franklin oh dear
that he actually likes being called Frankie out
of remembrance of his brother that's all the
shit dude Franklin and Dick's Throwing Hands
would be fun. Hi, I'm Dan, and I'm playing Franklin
the Elder. Bladesong Wizard, half -elf, here
to play the game. And a fun false fact about
Yoharis is that... He's got two left feet. Literal.
That's not a dancing kind of metaphor. He has
two left feet. And tails look weird. That's how
he actually perfects his marksmanship. And I
would question if anybody's actually seen him
with his boots off. Just prove me. You know,
I swear this has come up once before, but honestly,
I'll let you have it. I might have said right
feet before. Which one is it? Hello, I'm a cement
mixer, and tonight I'll be playing the character
of Yulharis Sithrith, the level 8 Eladrin summer
form arranger, and a fun false fact about our
dear old friend Harun is that he has five gay
rats. Just five? Just five. Where? All through
the night. We're just running around. It's like
a Ratatouille situation, except it's like one
in each appendage. It's one in each hat. it's
like it's like Ratatouille Power Rangers Megdramid
exactly three kobolds and a trench coat I get
what you're saying five gay rats and a war force
there it is yeah he can't he can't kill someone
when he feels too bad but the rats can yes my
name's Mark I play let's see I rune web I'm so
sick can't do it No, warforged monk. Kind of
a baby. And a fun false fact about Siafra is
that she actually really likes spending time
with Aldwyn. She thought he was annoying at first,
but... understands he's under the spell of magic,
and if that wasn't an issue, they would be proud.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Totally. Solid. That is a very
fun false fact. I dream of, you know, falling
in love with those roles and demons, you know?
Methinks the Lady Doctor. Remember the games?
Alright, so I'm Bronson feeling like a guest
star up in this show right now. I'm popping where
I can. Someone's an actual daddy. There you go.
That's already been almost eight months. Kind
of crazy. For real? That's crazy. Time to be
flying. So I'll be playing Zofra Falarin. The
very mysterious rogue that nobody still has a
beat on. And fun false fact. I think Lasagna
secretly pines for a CO friend who really needs
your comeback. He's going to be awkwardly excited
if he ever sees you again. Don't get too excited.
Yeah, don't be weird, dude. My fire staff is
already hot. Did you say pine because he's a
druid? Thank you. All right, Gonzo. What are
you wearing? Don't make this weird. What are
you wearing? I have to be a dick to you. Uh -oh.
It's a literal... It's a... Oh, my God. No, John's
wearing a pair of socks that look to be normal,
purple on the bottom, and then a brown ankle.
He wanted to see more, but that's all he got.
And then as you lift up his leg, it is a penis
protruding. That is actually pretty hilarious.
Did you go to work with those socks on? Did you
go to work with those socks on? No, I went to
work with the opera socks. Alfonso doesn't have
a trick up his sleeve, he has a cock. He has
a trick down his pants. Yes. That is accurate.
Don't play chicken with this man. Yeah, don't
chicken out on him. I'll believe zit when I see
minted. I feel dirty after that. We're stretching
that number out there. No, you're hard. We're
all hard. Bulbous. My favorite Pokemon. True.
Alright, Gonzo, what's your real fact? My real
fact is about Siofra. Siofra being the intelligent
woman she is. If you don't want to share that
language, share it. I'm not going to attempt
it. It's going to sound like garbage. Spanish.
How many times do you want to keep it secret
that you know the language? You know, I probably
know my country. We'll see how the night goes.
It's not announcing yet. It's the language of
love. I can give a hint. A room I know. Here
we go. Here we go. Uh -oh. Whoopsie. Exactly.
Ones and zeros. It's actually canon. It sounds
like how I normally do it, though. You've got
to figure that out. Who wants the inspiration?
I don't remember what happened. I can totally
lie to you guys. I don't know. I want to hear
Bronson's take on the last one. So, I mean, I
could do it if you guys don't remember. Take
it away, Will. So... Basically, we got to our
destination into the city where the information
broker would be or where we thought the guy would
be. And we went in there and we just had a little
chat with him about where we could go and what
we should be doing. And basically, we got told
that we need to go back to the other side. Or
we were kind of faced with a conundrum of what
are we to do about the plan of the train. We
could either go back to Sharn, which is where
we know the trains are going to come in from,
or do we go to the closest city where the trains
come into? And I think that's what we went with,
is we were just going to the city where the trains
come into. Did we already leave? I believe we
left already and just started moving out. Yeah,
I think there was a site that they were building
nearby and we agreed we'd go to the site because
we sent someone to watch it. Okay, that makes
more sense. I found out from one of the merchants
that his cousin or something was trying to buy
up his land or something like that. So we were
thinking that there might be somebody around
there. It's like farmland, yeah? Yes. Buy up
their farm. And that's kind of where we are as
we were traveling. A long conversation with the
info broker. He didn't know shit about that cool
magic sword. He did not. I mean, we... He said
it was pretty... It was a little evil. I think
we all... It was a little evil, bro. Yeah. And
if you could believe it. What did you see? What?
What? We're not going to talk about that. Why
don't you want to talk about what I did, boy?
He was a shadowy figure. Alright, there he is.
Is that better to say? I left it in. Alright.
No, you're real for that. We'll just wait to
pull anything out. I'll leave it in raw. It's
fucking raw! Is that inspirational worthy? Never
do that. But I prefer my onions that way. Go
ahead and just mark that on my character sheet.
Thank you. And where do we pick up? I believe
we long -rested. Did we long -rest? Wait, is
that what happened? We went to the room and we
did the whole him trying to get alcohol and doing
the room skinny thing. Yes! Yes! And I said I
woke you up an hour early, but the long -rest
still counted. Yeah. Because it was light activity.
You do still feel tired. Yeah, I wanted you guys
to think I was working on my alcoholism. Which
is funny because we... The whole thing is don't
drink in bars where you might have problems.
Or like find you drinking in the room and you're
like, I won't drink. Go to the bar. Go to the
bar immediately. We will buy you alcohol. Not
that any of you guys know that. No, we don't
know that. Yeah, Lasagna does not know anything
about that. That was a stealth assist. Yeah.
You guys are friends now? Yeah, so you guys pick
up, you guys start traveling there. As we're
heading out, I would like to hit everybody with
my whole string performance for being an inspiring
leader. So all of you guys that are around me
currently gain temporary HP equal to your character
level plus the modifier of the ability you increased
with this feat, which is charisma. So my charisma
or yours? My charisma. So you guys gain temporary
HP, character level plus one. Oh man, sweet.
So nine HP? Yeah, it's not nothing. And my bolstering
performance will be singing the song 16 Tons,
which if you guys don't know that song, it's
very funny. It's very good. It's a little folk
song. I'm not going to do it right now because
frankly, I'm not off book with it, but it's very
good. All right. All right. I would like to imagine
we were in a circle as you just walked around
and sang to us. Was there an instrument involved?
Just curious. No, I mean, 16 tons is best on
acapella. The chorus is just 16 tons. What do
you get? Another day older and deeper in debt.
All right. I love it. That doesn't sound inspiring.
To Lizagna it was. You're inspired to live by
how terrible the person is doing in this song.
Alright. Getting to move on with this magical
cart. Yeah, and I'm skipping in front of the
cart now that I'm so inspired by this beautiful
song. Beautiful. You're going to make me cry.
Thank you, Noah. How long does that last? Oh,
fantastic question. Let me look real quick again.
Because if that thing just stays on me, that's
sick. Let's see. It doesn't say that it goes
off at any time. Once it goes away, it just goes
away. It just goes away, but we just hold on
to it. So for the time being, up until you guys
get hit, you got 9 temporary hit points because
you sold your soul to the company store. Cool.
I'm going to do a quick perception check since
I'm leading the group. Guidance! I got double
fours. Plus... Nine. Oh wait, no, eight. I can't
count. Yeah, you got eight. I was about to say
plus five. 13, I can count. I swear to God, guys,
I'm a good teacher. It's fine, they're blankets.
They can still do math! Jesus! They can't even
fuck up! No! They can see math! They can count!
They can touch things! You guys are tra - So
I'm gonna just fast travel you guys along the
planes to get to where you're going. Because
there's, uh, something waiting for you there.
A bong. A party. A bong show. A bar mitzvah.
Yeah, I'm gonna roll for a counter. Puzzle time!
Puzzle time! Hell yeah! Three giant wolves. Yeah.
Well, it pops through. Washington. Washington.
All right, so you leave the settlement. Now you're
in a fight. All right, so here's how it goes.
Three dragons. You're in a fight. Nyx is already
down. And there's two brothers. Two brothers
against the world. I traveled a couple days towards
Karnath, and then you notice that there is...
You guys have traveled along. You've noticed
a few different areas where... You remember the
lightning rails in Sharn? It looks like bases
that are put into different places. And then...
And one of them you see what currently looks
like a construction going on. There's warforges
and other creatures all working. And then you
see a flying ship come down. And... And the ship
that flies down there is someone at the helm.
What time of day is this? It's about, you guys
get in there about midday. Okay. I'm going to
use my senses and try to find if there's a right
dragon within 30 miles of me. Okay. Start strong.
That's a cool feature of the armor though. It
is. There is no red dragon with a dirty mouth.
Okay, cool. I just had to double check. Hey,
can't get the drop on me. If you can, might as
well use it. I would like to use the much less
exciting feature of having an owl. Who's that?
You have not met her yet. So you don't know who
that is, but... What's your massive perception?
We're in perception check, so you guys can look
it around. You know what I can relate to the
guys? We got hot business. How hot? I don't know.
Hot Elven Woman. Guidance. Hot Elven Woman, that's
all I needed to hear. As you see the ship, you
see these ships around. I got a 14. Ooh, Nat
20. Would you still say that we're in grassland?
Nick's nose. Nick's nose is hot Elves. I smell
her perfume when she walked out. You kind of
just felt it and you're just like, I know she's
near. Hair billowing weird action movies. You
see Nick start running, and you just... If I
see him start running, I'm going to start running
over there, and then when I get close to the
ice, I'm going to see who it is. So I'd like
to see... I don't know how I... Is this ship
landed? It's landing, yeah. I'd like to starfish
onto the front of the window. So it's like a
giant wooden floating ship. Here, I'll show you
a picture. Wherever they're at, I want to starfish
at her. Is there a place I could park the cart?
Yeah. Because we still have the cart. Oh, yeah.
I mean, you're in a big open area, so you can
park it. Okay. No parking there. Go for some
valet parking. I was going to say, who authorized
this parking? Dude, this is a fire. I'm like,
what the fuck? Yes, he'll come. Yeah, so where
you said we saw her piloting it. No, she's just
like at the front. Oh at the front I'm trying
to like Oh, that's what I was thinking I was
like treasure planet type. Yeah, so like they're
lowering like good. Yeah, so kind of like I know
there's probably a ramp from I'm going up the
front. Go ahead. Roll me an acrobatics Oh, that's
19 plus Uh, seven. Yeah, you, uh, some people,
like, they just see, uh, Haroon, you see him
just start scaling aside and just, uh, everyone,
some people just draw their bows and they're
just like, what the? I'm just gonna freeze and,
like, slowly, like, super wide -eyed, just staring
at him. I like to, like, like, like, one arm,
like, flip over the side and, like, land in front
of her and, like, kneel and be like, see ya,
bro. I've missed you. You can do that, Haroon
voice, huh? That's the only one I can do right
now. Uh -oh. I'm all over that. Is Baldwin anywhere
near me? No, he sent you on this errand while
he... Oh, thank God, yeah. Big, huge hug. Yeah.
Whee! He trusts you enough now because you've
earned his trust. With a 16, do I see all of
this? Yeah, you see all of this happening, yeah.
Somebody tell me who this is. Who is this? Why
is Nick throwing... So, she is an extremely tall
human for an elf. It's a very slender build.
Gorgeous. I am Baldwin, so it would be like platinum
blonde hair. This is Frankie's best friend. Just
know that. She owes us a lot of money and an
explanation. I'm going to leave in a little bit
of hours. I'm like, didn't I bill you out, little
jailbird? What do you call a little? Well, you
know, what was that? 25 ,000 wasn't so little.
25 ,000? It was 2 ,500. Apparently, so do I.
And I do extend my hand for a handshake. And
then I have the crew throw him out. You hear
me tumbling over the side. Bitch! Any shenanigans
Frankie was getting into, Siofra was also doing
other stuff as well. I'm going to do an extremely
formal curtsy bow. See y 'all for Flannery. She
served with us during the... We can say the word,
by the way, around him now. Oh, were you not
here last time? Yeah, he could say it. I thought
we discussed this last time. When they broke
out of jail. But, Yoharis doesn't know because
he was in a trance. I'll nod at the seal for
him and say Franklin. Franklin? Frankie's older
brother. You guys, like, look relatively similar.
Half elf. Not even close. Half elf, but the other
half ain't human. It's like, hey. But did you
know that something happened to Frankie? Nope.
Not until a little five minutes ago. I have no
idea. He still has no idea. So, during one of
our, not one of our last engagements, but during
one of the most... recent of the major ones.
Frankie, unfortunately, died. Little bastard
still owed me money. Oh dear. We were able to
wipe out the entire camp of feral gnomes and
nomads. I killed their ringleader, the Goliath
son of a bitch, but... Noms with the Goliath.
For the clarification, those were halflings.
Halflings. That's in character. Frankly, halflings.
Some short bastards. I don't give a fuck. Hey,
we're not the same. Because you come from the
underdark. I do not like him. You're one of the
good ones. I'm just going to give him a couple
head pats. Harun leans into Siafra's ear and
says, They were corrupted by foul magic. God,
I could never get used to this. The little shivers
go up her shoulders when you whisper in her ear.
Frankly, none of us can. Have you heard of the
Spaticus clan? No. History check? Because we
killed one of them. You know of them being like
great warriors and assholes, so. Assholes, got
it. There was a, you know, there was a fight
in Franklin, unfortunately. Frankie. Or Frankie,
sorry. Franklin's right here with you. My apologies.
Oh, did you die too? No. Oh, okay. Because you
are standing here. Frankie's the sophomore questions.
Frankie turned into a zombie. It was pretty cool,
though. I mean, it wasn't like, you know... Zombies
have never been cool in my past life. Never been
cool. Always, you know, chomping. It's bad. Like,
you know, you put them down. Did we say that
he canonically floated even as a zombie? I don't
remember. It was a small... Oh, yeah, it was
dragging a little bit, but still semi -floating.
That is terrifying. Well, I'm glad to hear that
you guys' adventures are never dull. We also,
um, came into possession of some really fun things.
Oh! Things that, um, we can't share here, but
in privacy, uh, we can. I'm gonna direct the
mic towards, like, the inner boat. I'm assuming
there's, like, a room. Yeah, you have your own.
That's basically, like, a stall, I guess. No,
you have your own separate, like, there's, like,
this big -ass room, like, a fancy room for yourself.
So I'm gonna bring them in there. Yeah, you go
into this room. It's, like, the size of... Probably
like... It probably has like two full master
bedrooms. Gaudy as hell. Has a big bed. Tons
of perfume and makeup and clothes. Do you have
glasses? So as you guys walk into the room, the
door is going to close. And then you guys come
all here. Because I don't want to roll that high
enough in your heads. Because I'm psionic. We
can talk this way. Keep things private. I say
out loud, so I don't need to... I'm just going
to look at him and blink twice. See how I blink
twice? I respond in my head, it's been a while,
alright? It's been a while. And I take a knee,
pull my bag off my shoulder, open it up, and
point in for him to come and look. You see eight
sticks of dynamite. Definitely isn't really used
much around here except for mining, so. And,
uh, say the word. Nothing much. We found a crate
of this off of a caravan that some of those feral
halflings were carrying. I have no doubt in my
mind that they were going to use it on a major
city sometime. Yeah. And I'm going to say this
in my head as well. We are also on a quest that
you may really be able to help us with. It looks
like a fancy, but you don't speak Dwarvish. No.
Yeah, so you know it's language. Ooh, comprehend
language. Yeah, I remember you had that. What
is this symbol? Oh, just the... He's just checking
to see if there's any insignia. He's saying what
they are, or if they are any. If there are any.
I can't read dwarf dwarves. So they're writing.
You guys speak dwarfish? Read. I can speak dwarfish.
Yeah, well, if you get drunk enough. It's called
a bracelet. All my affairs with the lady dwarves.
I didn't know you liked the beard. I like anything
that likes me. True to yourself. Usually when
you were around the dwarves, there wasn't much
talking going on. Fair enough. No, I don't speak
dwarvish at all. As you can see by his picture,
we lost a bet. I'm going to show the picture
and throw the picture of him fucking a dwarf.
He drew in detail of him. It is like masterwork
level of detail. In character, not even going
to respond. Just going to slow nod. Then I'm
going to close it again. I lost gold on this.
To provide context. I lost gold on that. Frankie
did tell me about this. But this is your first
time actually seeing it live. Yes. No, Frankie
did tell me about this night. Do you have anyone
that works on this ship that speaks Dwarvish?
I could. Copy the writing and you show it to
them on a piece of paper. What if it says something
like, caution, explosive. They're not going to
know. Snap really loud. Everyone just stops.
Everyone just stops for a second. Yeah, he's
on my left over. I copy it down. Does our gnome
friend speak Dwarvish? No. He just snapped his
fingers. The whole crew stopped. And everyone's
like, one of the dwarves comes over and is like,
yes? And I have copied it down to a piece of
paper. My eyes are so dreary from this long trip.
Did you be able to read? What is this insignia?
It's the Montgomery. The miners? They're the
dwarves that do all the mining. They sell dynamite.
Supplies? What was the name of it? Modern government.
Miners? Yeah. Okay. I mean, all the doors, you
know. I'm sorry, how do you live like a door?
No. Thank you. I just wanted to make sure. I
thought I was losing my mind. That's it. Get
out of here. He just starts running away. He's
kind of stumbling over himself. Fuck, fuck, fuck.
Then you guys hear it in your head, like, I have
a whole lot of appearances. Sorry. in the head
with everyone, I'm going to say, so what do you
know about the Baldwin clan? Because our job,
our quest is to basically, right, that's our
quest, is the Baldwin clan? Well, it wasn't the
Baldwin clan, it was the Ryan clan. Oh, Ryan
clan, not Baldwin. Baldwin's the name, the name,
sorry. I don't know why I thought that was their
last name. We need to get that ring off of your
favorite. So the plan is... How about this? You
tell me what you know. I don't get it. Because
I'm not doing a shit. Well, we are a little fucked
up. Our plan is to hopefully, if we can get one
of them from under the thrall of control, maybe
we can get all of them. We need to take a finger
and a ring. Ring. A ring. We did hear about...
I heard a finger and a ring. I have rings. Now,
but what if we can try to figure out ways around
taking the finger? Because it seems overly complicated
when we can just chop a finger. Plans are best
kept simple. Yeah, but maybe the guy won't like
it. Even afterwards, we chop off his ring or
his finger. Yeah, I remember that. I saw it was
cursed. I tried to summon it. Do you realize
how much attention that's going to cause? I don't
think he's going to complain. How much that's
going to attract? He's a noob. Let me... Just
straighten one little fact out for you. It's
not on his hand by his choice. Right. Do you
guys understand that? He cannot remove it. I
don't think cutting off his finger will remove
it. It will still be stuck to the finger. That's
what I'm saying. Can we just solder it? No, we
don't need the ring itself. Well, we need the
ring, but only to give. We just need to get the
ring. To give it to someone else. Is this like
a mob thing? In order for us to fulfill our end
of the contract, it's not a mob thing. It's a
mob thing. It's your friend, the information
broker. So for sure a mob thing. You could just
lead in with mob thing. I would have been totally
okay with that. Look at me. I'm swindling this
man. So we might not need... But we don't need
a specific one and there's supposed to be one
hanging out around corner You know about any
Orion's kind of in or around the area? No, but
you do know that so you know where they were
told You're gonna be and Remy still He's not
on the ship right now Now, I mean, I do have
a spell that can dispel the magic on there, but
I would obviously have to get close. Are you
going to turn into something? Well, what he could
do, actually, is because he's so good at cooking
and he has an in with Remy, there could be some
sort of catering. That's a good plan. A private
date? That is a good plan. Specialty dining?
I'll have to see Remy again. Well, Zogner remembers
the letter from Remy and a little sad face in
his head. By the way, it doesn't have to necessarily
be specifically a ring. It just has to be a piece
of that emerald claw jewelry. Although if the
only piece that he has is a ring, then that thing
has to be. The rest is all for show. There's
one specific ring. Well, do I have to touch it?
I think this was just a range thing, right? Yeah,
choose one creature or object within range. So
yeah, I could do a range thing. I just have to
get close to them. I would let you know. I know
where he is. So if we know where he is, we just
have to get there. Yeah. Wow. Yeah, so he's not
close. I'm here by myself. You don't have a ship.
With a job. And if I don't do that job, I get
killed. Oh, do you need help with the job? You're
unloading all the cargo, and there's, like, a
lot, because there's so much right here. Yeah,
well, we can help. What is this job? Can I give
you all the details? Of course you can. Because
you will... Okay. Obviously with that attitude.
All of a sudden it goes quiet. And everyone else
is like nodding. You can't hear what's happening.
But all that's happening is she's saying just
nod guys right now. She's like, I just want him
to feel like an asshole just for a little bit
guys. Just nod and just like thinking poses.
I do say in my head, you know, you bitch. So
I can get back on. I'm like, okay, the only reason
I can't tell you, not because I don't love you
guys, obviously. Awesome to see you guys. Me
too. Calm down. He's awkwardly just like not
breathing. Me too. I can't tell you because if
you slip up, one of these handy dandy henchmen
on the ship will inevitably get all of us killed.
Right? So, just trust me, I am unloading to help
build the rail yard in this location. Do you
have shards? Don't drop the bucket boxes. Shards?
Huh? Has to be. Don't drop the boxes. Just say
wink once if it is. I just blankly stare at your
face. Oh, okay. That's all we need to know. You
need help unloading? Yes. You see there's warforges.
There are dwarves. There's all kinds of different
people there. Some orcs as well. Let's go show
off. Are we still in our heads? Yes. I got this
for three hours. I will just say real quick,
try to take one if you can. Let's just say you're
not the newest kid on the block anymore, Mr.
Rude. People like you. They want to make more.
He's one of a kind to me. Are they ramping production
back up? Anyways, we've got to keep moving. We've
been in this room too long. That was supposed
to be the last one. As we're walking out, though,
I'm going to ask this time with my actual voice,
is Wallace still around? Yep. Odds or evens if
he's on a ship? Ryan? Odds. Wallace, unfortunately,
is not on a ship. He is guarding Baldwin. Personal.
He was his personal guard. He was in the same
room. He involved with personal guards, yeah.
I don't think it's Thomas. That's why we were
bringing it up. Good to see that he's moving
up in the world. Wallace was a good man. Wallace
is great. We all are. I will say this. Doesn't
Wallace have the infinite drinking flask? He
does. He's at our back on some shady stuff. I
lean into Franklin. We can get that off of him.
No, you're not. You can't hear this. Yeah, you
guys do your thing. Hell yeah, dude. He was okay
to me. I will try my best to lift these boxes.
Alright, everyone go make some drinks. I'm not
gonna do it. Got it. You see, while I'm making
full eye contact with you, Ten minus one. You
see this box that, like, look, there's no, you
think there's no way Nix could lift this box.
It is probably the size, it's like, 12 foot by
12 foot, you're like, there's no fucking way.
There's no way. And then, while making eye contact,
he lifts up this giant box and just, over his
head, just walks out. Pretty good for a small
man. I stand next to him. Seeing him amp up,
and I just give him a little side. Yeah. And
you see, and like. He's picking up. Both of them
are just kind of showing off now. Just moving
these giant boxes. It was taking three or four
men to move some of these boxes. And Mike is
staring at the other Warforged. I'm going to
try to make another one of these. I'm one of
the con, baby. Oh, gee. I'll take the ginger
ale. Ginger ale sounds dope. Ginger ale. That's
him? Yeah, they're unloading. It takes you guys
probably about four or five hours of unloading
and setting stuff up just because there's a lot.
And then there's some other stuff that came by
cart. So you guys are just facilitating all that.
Everyone has been coming up to see Ofra. Actually,
what was your name in there? What was your character
name in there? I wrote it down. Was it Sophie,
right? I believe it was Sophie, but I can check.
Lilith. It was an S name. I guess I'll find it.
I don't remember. You know, I'm thinking this
has nothing to do with anything, but those Cheeto
Puffs and a Burrito would go pretty hard. They
make those. Cheeto Burrito. That's what they
call it. You never heard of spread? I've seen
them at some food trucks. Honestly, instead of
doing the french fries in there, that would be
a good substitution. Cyan, I like to call it.
Oh, cyan, okay. I've seen the ones, I've seen
most of them be takis, but I haven't seen some
of yours. They'll be like hot keto burritos.
I like a crunch in a burrito. I mean, it sounds
good, but... I don't like hot keto. I like takis,
though. I mean, just like all that synthetic
spice is nothing nice. It'll give you an ulcer.
Yeah, um... Yeah, everyone's been coming up to
Madam Cyan and just kind of be like, Madam, and
then just kind of give me status updates. Someone's
very clearly in charge here. Is there any drow
on the ship? Any drow? Yeah, there's a few that
they've been helping. Is there... Do I see the
drow that originally we saw that had the dragon
shards? No, these are different. We'll go up
to Harun, and then I'm just going to whisper
in his ear and cast Enhance Ability on him and
say, if you can get one of those, let me know.
The dragon shards. I know, but he's going to
look around for a second and think, but he's
going to get it. It's whichever one does the
dexterity, the cat's grace. Yeah. So, have you
ever looked through any of the boxes yet? So
you're going to start looking through the boxes?
Yeah. There are a lot of people actively going
through and kind of unloading. I'm going to see
if I can see any of those dragon shards or see
if I like, you know, looking with it. Because
I'm already showing off that I'm doing a good
job. All the boxes are nailed shut. None of them
are being opened? No, right now they're unloading
because there's a lot of supplies. Because you
guys flew in a ton of supplies. Well, I mean
I'm easily moving these can I move one over off
into like maybe like a like a corner or something
you try you Yeah, go ahead. Let me still Okay,
you are kind of I do a helping action first off.
Do I notice? You're the one that you're so observing
everything 25 Yeah, so You go over there and
you see C .O. for kind of like, kind of just
like, kind of like doing improv too, kind of
like calling people over and going over some
schematics. Right, to distract him. Yeah. As
you kind of like turn, and you think no one saw
you, but he gives you a little wink. Oh shit,
I know she saw me. Yeah. Okay, so I moved the
box over, so now I guess now am I trying to open
it? Yeah. Secretly? So go ahead and give me a
slight hand and see if you can open it. Okay.
Oh, that one's only a ten. With advantage? Yes.
Yeah, you start to kind of pull it as it starts
creaking. Just start coughing really loud. Sorry.
This is my job most of the time and they are
fucking it up. I'm going to hold on to my stone
and message. Be loud right now. Show off. I'm
going to rip my shirt. I'm just going to bang
on my chest. I'm a man of all. I'm going to try
to open this. Go ahead and do a performance.
Can I do it with strength since I'm pounding
my chest? Nope. Performance. Can I cast guidance?
Nope. Dammit. You see him like someone was trying
to lift a box and he kind of just like starts
pounding his chest. He's like, no, no, no, let
me do it. Showing off and you see him kind of
like, there's like an ogre he's kind of like
squaring up to you right now. You're like, God
damn it. I'm not like interrupt, but just like
walk into the vicinity. So I'm like. in eyesight.
Everyone's kind of... I'm the ogre. Yeah, he's
kind of just looking down and just like... But
then he sees you walk up and he kind of just
backs up a little bit and just says, Madam? I
see a man on sites like that. She scared her
mom. Yes! Let's go look at eye contact. 23. What
do you hear in your head? It took you five fucking
minutes. As you see him, like, he's on, the order's
on, like, grabbing other boxes, but he's kind
of just giving, he's just looking at Nick, just
pissed. He's looking at him, pissed. So, yeah.
So, you know you're going to have to fight that
over. Oh, I want him to. Okay. So, yeah, the
box you picked up looks like, it wasn't shards,
but it looks like pieces of metal. These metals
look like pieces of, to you, they look familiar.
They look kind of like panels that you would
have on the outside. They look kind of like what
you have on the outside of your arm. So you're
just like, that looks familiar. I'm gonna close
this box. Because you're just like... I'm gonna
close this box and I'm gonna... I'm gonna just
try to like... Maybe I'll like... Like the back
of my knife, just do like a little X on it and
then walk away. And like try to find a different
box. I'm surprised Harun is even going to look
at another box after seeing that. Well, I mean...
You were supposed to be the last one. I know,
he's very bothered, but there's nothing he can
think about right now. He's going to go over
to Siafra and just say, Do you have a manifest?
He looks very exasperated. You do? We can't talk.
It would be bad if I just gave a random person
my banana vest. Where's it at? I don't know,
but if I was a guest, it would sit in the captain's
quarters. You have it in your hand, right? I
have it. Oh, wait. What? Well, I'm the captain,
so I walk back towards the boat. Right. She just
accidentally drops it. Yeah. She was just going
over with it. Yeah, I'll roll a slide. I actually
like that. Yeah, go ahead and roll me a slide
of hand. Yeah, that's going to be a shit ton.
Let's go 33. What? Yeah, you say whoops. You
see her kind of sneeze, and you're like, what
was that? But then you just feel something in
your pocket. You don't know how, but it's in
your pocket. Okay, so I assume the rest of the
guys are helping move, except for Franklin's
not, right? I'm just kind of floating around.
I'm going to see if I can give you a little eye
-eye to be like, you know. Yeah, I'll just hop
on over to you. She's going to come over and
be like, so, did you ever look at that drawing
I put in your bag? It's for sure good. I definitely
did. What was it? It was me. Oh, okay. How'd
you feel about it? I don't feel a lot about it.
Alright. That's alright, though. We all need
to practice. The daggers. I just want to reiterate,
there's a million percent chance that I'm never
going to look at that painting. If I haven't
looked at it yet, I'm not about to start. Just
guessing. Hearn thinks about his decisions again,
but then ultimately says, you want to help me?
And I'm going to try to flash him the key and
say, we need to look for something. Oh, yeah,
yeah. Wait, didn't she give it to you? Yeah,
she flashed it to me. The Manifest. Oh, the Manifest.
I thought you gave me the key to your room to
find the Manifest. She had it when she was going
over with the people and then dropped it. Okay,
so I'm going to hand him the Manifest subtly
and be like, what does this mean? Read to me.
On there, you just see... Neat shards. It just
mentions all, like, railway equipment and, like,
stuff to... Like, it just seemed the standard
stuff to make a railway. It just looks like a
standard railway, like, supplies. Why? Why are
you asking? There's... For one, I saw a bunch
of parts of... Excuse me. Me. Me, my kind. In
some of the boxes. But I also need to find a
dragon shard. This isn't helping. Okay, uh, looking
at the manifest, and it's all robo -inspired,
but can I... It's fake, like, everything on the
manifest. Right. But is there a way I can, like...
Like a pattern. Yeah, like a decipher. The one
that had Warforged parts in it to a specific
type of railway supply. You'd narrow that out.
All the railroad ties are actually Warforged,
whatever. That kind of thing. To pick out the
odd ones out from that. You tried doing that,
but the boxes on there don't quite match the
numbers either. Well, Haroon, I think the only
thing left to do is... Okay, wait. Are you going
to be cool with any plan I suggest here, or are
you going to... I'm at a loss, so yeah. Fantastic.
Yeah, you should feel at a loss for these Warforged
cards. Why don't... Okay, we like the lady, but
why don't we just remove everybody else from
the equation, and then look at all the wands.
There's a whole crew, so it's probably a crew.
Remove? Remove the whole crew. I love this so
much. I have never said the word murder, okay?
Put to sleep permanently. It was removed. I dare
you. He said the word remove. I'm all about removing,
overcoming obstacles. Fight for us. What do you
mean remove? You know, if you don't want to be
a part of it, you don't have to worry about it.
I'll throw a little sign at Nick's. He was already
eyeing that ogre, and I think we all want to
see the little man win. Are you saying you're
not skilled enough to do this without removing
people? Well, I could, but... This ship isn't
going to be loaded with morphine. Above table,
if you just start killing, I mean, what is Harun
going to do other than help and just be like,
we're going to cover this up somehow? Nix and
Markatot, targets for Monty Max as well. Can
I, well, I'm probably, can I go over to Harun?
Because I think I just thought of an idea. Why
don't we also use the ship to go back? They said
yeah. Yeah, I'm going to walk up. To the group
now. So it's great seeing my old friends again.
Because there's still attendance by me. So I'm
setting this up. It's great to see old friends
again. I'd love to take you guys back with me.
Free friends ride. Look at this. It's a beautiful
journey. All that. We can move back to Shard.
That sounds awesome. We are on a tight schedule
though. Are they paying? Your guests? They're
friends. Okay, okay. Who the fuck are you? I
don't remember you. What do you do on this ship?
I'm one of your assistants. Anyways, guys. Um,
yeah, this is a beautiful ship. Like, on average,
like, how many people does it take to run a ship
like this? Like, it just seems so... This majestic
view takes about a crew of 40. A crew of 40?
Hmm. So Haru also shrugs. I don't even have to
ask. I already know what's happening. I'm just,
like, closing my eyes. Your friend isn't charged.
I'm not sure how you feel about that. I'm going
to lean back to the assistant. Madam Cyan. Can
you please prep the ship to depart? What do you
guys think? Thank you. What do you guys think?
Do you think it's a good plan? We're going straight
into the belly of the beast. My main concern
is we have a cart. Oh, the cart. It'll fit. I
have the ship. The amount of crates we just unloaded,
I feel like... Well, what I'm saying is that
we would need to take the cart with us. As long
as you're alright with that, then I... I'm gonna
snap really loud again with that one guy that
I just shoot out. He's in the middle of running,
and he just like says, Yes? They need their luggage
loaded. What does it look like? It's the big
cart out there. You just gotta tell it to go.
It's the whole cart. You did it to the cart.
The cart's got to come in with us. I can help
guide the man. And as the guy's running away
and I'm going to jog after him. I looked at you,
C .O. You're relishing in every single second
of this, aren't you? I love this so much. All
right. Absolute power. A glow about it right
now. You just have to say, go in, Elvish. I'm
going. Did you already unload everything? Yeah,
you guys, with your help and Nick's just flexing
on everyone. You guys got done faster than expected
just because Nick's is just, he starts showing
off. Does he look tired? I'm not 20, baby. He's
actually doing push -ups right now. I'm glad
some things don't change. Do I see him painting
over there? Can I cast Guidance on him? No, you
turn around after. Damn it. Damn it. That's not
that. That's not what I'm talking about. When
we say the sleight of hand, 16. Yeah, I mean.
That's not bad. Yeah, you had a quick glance.
It's a quick sketch of what you saw. Right. But
you're pretty skilled, so look at the gist of
it. Look at the gist of it. Shoes. All right.
I'm going to hear it, yeah. All right, so did
we start heading out? They loaded that bitch
up. Yeah, they're loading up, and then you see
one of the assistants walks up. Not the one you
yelled at, but there's two open assistants, a
female and a male assistant. The male was the
one that you yelled at. She says, Madam, the
ship can leave at any moment. Would you like
anything else? No, I'll start getting my food.
Thank you so much, Daniel. Would you like your
evening tea and... I have a guess. Let's set
up a party. Let's set up a bon voyage. Old friends.
Finally. Do you want the good wine? Do we have
bad wine? Be careful of your answer. She turns
around and says, right away, ma 'am. Just starts
walking. When that happens, I pull out my flask
and I offer it over to the CO for it. I'm going
to take a heavy swig. Damn, that's going to finish
it. You polish it off. It's some nice elven brandy.
It looks like I'm having fun, but this shit's
stressful. Do they need any help around the ship
at all? I believe you're a cook. You're probably
shaking up whatever these bastards try to throw
on bread. You want to make some pastries with
it, too? I did buy grain. We did buy a lot of
baking supplies. You see him break out a hat?
That's Chef Hat. Swap out. I also have a hand
mixer. After you, I'm going to give you a big
glare and be like, I think I'll have the cooking
covered. There's a kitchen there, of course,
to the boat. There is a chef there. You guys
walk in. I have a chef hat on. My hat is better
than his. He has a chef hat on. The person is
not wearing a chef hat. He just looks at you.
Where's your hat? What are you two doing in my
kitchen? We're here to help. He says who? I'm
going to step in right when he says that. Oh,
it says, uh, madam. Do we have problems? Did
you send him? I thought you needed help. The
last meal was a little bland. We got this. My
food is the best around. And I'm only here to
help, bud. Like, I don't want to take your job.
You mean like around the ship? You can't be scared
of a little competition and then I'll walk out.
Keep him on the toes. Yeah, he's also an elf
as well. He's kind of looking stressed out and
he says, well, what do you guys want to... Have
you heard of pastries? Well, yes, I can make
a pastry. Let him show you how to make a pastry
better and I'll help you. He said, is this a
competition? No, no, no. He's just built for
this. He's built different. I don't know if he
could... My fine elven hands have crafted many
things. I throw some grounded grain into a bowl
and my hands just start spinning. Without even
looking, I lean and Lazagna pours some water
in and I just go back to mixing. He's already
out there fucking cooking while we're having
this conversation. They're not cooking. He's
just like, what, what? As you see him start getting
to work, he's just like, no, it's my kitchen.
Like I said, I just want to help him with whatever
he's doing. Obviously with any extra seasoning.
What is he making? He's making some chicken,
but you see him kind of just, he's binding it
up, he's throwing a few herbs, but he's not really
adding a lot. I'm definitely going to be adding
some basil, some oregano. I think we also got
some nice salts, right? That was another thing
that we got, some nice salts. I believe you did,
yes. I got some spices, but I'm saving those.
Oh, yeah, your spices. You also haven't looked
through his cabinets yet. Ooh, I will take a
look at the cabinets. Do I see some lemons in
there? Yeah, there's lemons. It's pretty well
stocked. I'm going to definitely grab some lemons
and put that into the dish as well. Yeah, so
you are... He's kind of saying, like... Why overcomplicate
it? You gotta confuse them. Let me tell you,
sir, the world of seasonings will open your mind.
And this is why, I think this is why she sent
me down here to help you. Trust the process.
Let them cook. As they say. Let him cook. While
we're doing this, partway through, I break out
some glasses and I hand one to Lazogna and one
to the chef. And I break out some mead I have
and I pour them both a glass and go back to mixing.
What did you say you cooked? I have mead. Oh,
mead. I think it's a honey mead. Yeah. Fuck yeah.
He kind of just drinks it and he kind of just
says, I have been cooking for years all over
the world. I'm sure you have, bud. I'm sure you
have. We're old friends. We know what she likes.
One day I'm going to be cooking on the main train.
Oh, you mean Remy. Yeah, that pretentious bastard.
He thinks he's great. I've met pretentious. Is
Franklin around? I want to know if I need to
like eyeball like Jimmy. Yeah. I have no protectors.
And then also hit next from a different window.
Remy's fine. Randy knows how to cook and that
man knows his seasoning. So you can actually
learn a lot from him. Trust me. I don't. I don't
need Remy. But you do need seasonings. Literally,
because we're roasting the chicken. Garlic roasted.
Yeah, so you guys make your chicken as a seal
for you walk up in a... In pastries. Yeah, what
pastries are you making? Well, what kind of fruits
did he have? I think he made a strawberry or
something. There are berries there. There are
some red berries. You don't really know because
you don't eat them, so you don't really know
what kind of berries they are. He had lemons
here. I drew a lemon tart. A lemon, yeah, that's
right. So to you, you know they're fruit, but
you don't really know because you don't eat them,
so you're not really too familiar with them.
But you know there's fruit, so he's not just
looking at you, and he's looking at fruit. What
fruit is it? Is it a raspberry? Yeah, they're
red, and he's just looking at it, and he's just
confused. I'm like, what is it? Is that a nature
roll? No, you would just know that. Oh, okay.
What fruit is it? Is that good? Oh, it's raspberry,
yeah. Oh, it is raspberry. Okay. It's raspberry.
Yeah, I mean, you could throw that in there.
First time you were here with raspberries. Yeah,
I would say how you were saying something. Well,
I mean, I know it came from Ryan, but a lemon
tart. A lemon tart's good. I know a lot of people
like lemon tarts. But raspberries, you can make
a nice jelly with this. That'll go good with
some pastries. Tart. Lemon. Raspberry. Dip. Yeah,
I mean, I would love that. Maybe do a little
butter in with the raspberry dip. Yeah, you kind
of just start throwing it as Loisana starts guiding
you. As you see the chef, you still haven't asked
his name. I like to pour a little bit of Dwarven
Hooch in there, just a little bit. He hasn't
asked your name either. He's kind of just brooding
over there. What is your name, sir? They call
me Francois. Francois. I can tell why you don't
like your seasoning. He looks at you and just
kind of keeps making his food. He's also making
the pastries. He makes like a looks like a cream
puff looking thing. I don't think Lizard has
ever seen that before. We'll wait to see until
the finish you touch on it. As you see him, he
kind of makes his meal and says, we'll see whose
meal she likes the best. As all of this is going
on, their fabulous cooking adventure, of course,
what kind of wine was brought out for the rest
of us to be sipping on? It is... Just a baby.
Put your legs on this. They bring you, like,
six different bottles of wine. They all just,
like, on one knee bow and take these bottles
of wine. Like, not even looking at Estee Lauder.
They kind of just hold them up. Estee Lauder
kind of just walks by and just decides on which
one she wants. Pick a number. Four. So that would
be just like super dark red. Like a Pinot Noir?
Darkest thing you've ever seen. It's almost like
a sludge. I still got the peat from the barrel
in my hand. That shit is illegal. You take a
sip and it is strong. The bottle cracks open
and you can smell it. I just pop from wherever
I was hiding. I come sprinting out of nowhere.
Yeah, you were kind of just chilling in the other
room. Cartoon character into a pie smell. Yes.
You hear like a sound of familiar footsteps.
Just running. Quick succession too. He just bursts
into the door. I hand him bottle number three,
not four. I wouldn't know or care, and I start
downing it. Yeah. They all kind of range, so,
like, they, uh... I give him an elbow jab. Yeah.
It's gonna probably be near his temple since
it's short. But I'm like... Manners! He gets
the man. I, like, tuck in my armor a little bit.
Ha ha ha ha! You gotta put the pee in. Oh, my
parents kicked me out as a child. I don't like
shit. You see him just not stopping, just chugging
this bottle. Go ahead, roll me a constitution
because you're chugging a whole bottle. And it's
with advantage when drinking, right? Yep, yep.
All drinking. Not 20 again. Holy shit. He just
downs it. One sip. Unphased. Just, ooh. He has
advantage on anything that is alcohol -related.
What? That requires, you know, constitution.
You hit that with, like, a full bottle of wine.
You hit that, like, where you swirl it. Again.
The funnel technique. Yes. I'm going to lean
down on the person down. I was like, now you
can get the bag. You see... Everyone you talk
to just runs. Everything is urgent. They are...
Is there a date on the bottle that I'm drinking
from? Yeah, the bottle is 75 years old. As I'm
checking out the bottle, I look over to see if
this bottle is almost as old as I am. That's
a mortgage. The bottle that Nick's drank was
50 years old. And they got you to go up and eat.
I don't know what you had to do to get this,
but thank you. Once somebody leaves the room,
you're going to see the prim and proper posture.
You'll see how she just drops and she slaps.
She just rolls shoulders. She's like, it's so
fucking exhausting on this shit. I'm sure being
taken care of all the time is so exhausting yeah
this room is big as fuck you have all your luxuries
you have oh yeah We're out here fucking living
on the edge and shit. Golden silver and shit,
yeah. She's like, oh. And then one of her assistants
comes in and was like, your slippers, madam,
they've been warmed. I'm just going to lean over
and stick my foot out. She's like, I got it.
Nix, yeah, so she kind of just leans back. Are
you going to try and help? No. All right. No,
Nix is not. Yeah. And you see the assistant kind
of just starts taking your shoes off. uh starts
putting these slippers on and then he's like
as she starts about to struggle she runs back
out and she's like do you need anything else
i'm good right now thank you go ahead yeah she's
so much the struggle of life you know you know
it's all you know money doesn't bring happiness
but who am i kidding oh yeah all that's going
on and then uh You hear another knock at the
door. Madam, would you be ready for your meal?
Yes. Yes. I believe we all are. Perfect. Yeah,
so... Before the assistant leaves, I'm going
to see our friends. Do they always ask such dumb
questions? Oh, fucking God. Jesus. Well, sorry.
Excuse me. It's salt. It's Jesus. God, dude.
Real silly fella. It's really hard to get good
help, you know? Yeah, you never want to cross
the road back in the day. He was a local woodworker.
Yeah, there you go. He was a carpenter. Not somebody
you want to double -cross, that's for sure. Double
-cross? I wouldn't even first cross it. Single
-cross, maybe. Hey, man, that's fucked up. Give
me three days to come up with a report. Give
me three days, all right? He was a very skilled
sorcerer. I just called him a cleric. You know,
bringing people back from the dead and all. He
cast false life, that's what it was. Necromancer?
For sure, false life. Yeah, so you're waiting
on hand and foot here. Everyone is scared of
you. Is our mental thing still working? It would
be out by now. No, it's done by now. Okay. So
you guys are kind of sitting there. The door
is open as your friends walk in. Lazagna. Haroon,
and then uh, Francois. Francois, the chef that
you know as well. You're kind of indifferent
on his cooking, so he feeds you, but you're not
always that happy. So he comes, and he kind of
just, uh, like, walking in front of them as the
other, uh, they bring out a table for you that's
like adorned. You sit down, and someone then
puts like a, puts like a handkerchief on your
lap, and then also puts like something, like
another handkerchief on you. They start pouring
your wine. They start cutting your food for you.
I'm not going to let him feed them to me. No,
they're cutting your food for you, but you're
just like... And you kind of shoo them away as
they're cutting it. Just like, oh, okay. And,
yeah, so you see Francois, like, he starts describing
his dishes. He's like, this is my braised chicken
with roasted carrots and... What do I look at?
Do I notice it's different? So he... Lasagna
made something similar. Yeah, so... He's made
this, like, a couple times already this week.
Lasagna made something different, but with a
lot more seasoning, as it looks like. I'm going
to lean forward and just push my plate forward
real slow, and then I'm going to take the lasagna.
Mine is a lemon sear. There's a lemon on it with
some lemon zest, a lot of seasoning, and the
roasted carrots actually have, I found some brown
sugar. As he's saying this, I slowly push the
plate off the table. Can I roll to catch that
plate? Go ahead and roll me an acrobatics. You
got it. You see him lunge. 15. You see him lunge.
It starts to fall. He gets most of it. Some of
the juice is spilled. He's like, I'll dig that.
Horace, I made you one too. I made everyone one.
I also take that point. I now have two points.
I'm going to take a bite of Francoise and chew
it slowly while looking at him and then just
kind of... spit it out of my mouth onto the ground
and say you should be ashamed of yourself he
said who the fuck you think you are I taught
Remy I'm gonna literally stand there and just
slap the shit out of him if he talks like that
to him I'm gonna like actually make a scene like
slap yeah he gets in his face and you see if
I have an opportunity let me know if she offers
give me the time to do it she offers quick well
yeah that's why I'm like I'm also pretty quick
But I'm just like, hey, Dex is 20. Allow me.
He slaps, she slaps, and you slap right afterwards.
Since the offer would slap just out of reflex.
Like, you mind your tongue. He just kind of just,
oh, oh, yes, ma 'am. And he just walks out, just
looking down and just walks out. That's why you're
on this shit. I'm not trying to like really hurt
him, but if I could just do a mind sliver just
to drive home that he'd feel bad now. What's
the save? A mind sliver? Is it a save or is it
an attack? It's a save. It's an intelligence
saving throw. Twelve. Yeah, he can get fucked.
Like I said, I don't want to roll damage for
it. I just want him to feel bad. Yeah, you see
him, like, you kind of hear crying. I'm sorry,
what was your name? Franklin. Franklin, yep.
Oh, so you guys brought some culture to your
group. Oh, you bitch. Like cheese. Your heart
says, and then he just goes back into his second
plate. He's already done it first. Franklin,
do you not like the meal put in front of you?
This meal? No. I reach and take it. You don't
have to take it. This meal is reserved for the
animals. Consider me an animal. Alright, you
have it then. Harun, you also have your pastries.
What did you make? I made a lemon tart with raspberry
dipping. My man. I'm going to eat that first.
And then we get her. Yeah, you're eating a little
bit of chicken, and you're like, whoo! Sweets,
and then you see Francois kind of make it. His
face is red, and he's kind of... It's a perfect
hit. He's like, I made cream puffs, and he's
tray -shaking as he puts it down. I don't know,
I have a total shift of mood like a bipolar bitch,
but thank you so much. She's like, would you
like anything else? No, I'm good, thank you.
Where's the amuse -bouche? The horse devours.
Uh, did... Didn't you go to cooking school? Oh,
dude. Yes, but I got kicked out. Ah. That makes
sense. The instructor was an asshole. Why is
everyone an asshole but you? You're an asshole.
I'm just sitting back in my chair. Uh, CO4, we
did forget to ask. How long are we going to be
on the ship? How long is the day travel? I think
it's about five days. Five days? Yeah. So by
the time you get there, that's about the time
that, uh, that, uh, Baldwin should be getting
there and finishing up business. Five days, but
it won't be long to be face -to -face with, uh,
Baldwin. Should we keep watch tonight? Have you
guys had any weird encounters? I know we did
on the train and on the ship, I believe. Honestly,
these guys, I run a tight ship. I try to keep
these guys scared shitless. So I'm fine. If you
guys want to keep up shifts, I don't think anyone
would dare fuck with me. It's hard to keep this
persona up. I don't like this person. Well, that
being said, no one would dare do that to you
for the reason of you're good at your job. You
keep a low profile. We, on the other hand...
That's what I'm getting at. We're also very low
profile. I stare blankly and just nod like, yeah.
I always have a way of disappearing around. That's
all I'm saying. I try not to make a scene. Is
your red dragon scale? I don't make a scene.
Super low key, guys. You're wearing your belt,
right? Yeah, with my championship belt. Red dragon
armor. My fire staff. He has a championship belt
that he won. It's a magical title belt that gives
him an extra AC that he won for fighting in the
tournament for the Gar Clan. He initially lost
to Harun and in the rematch he smoked Harun.
The first fight was hand to hand. Hand -to -hand,
no abilities. The second fight... And then the
second fight was boosted by... We each got a
magical person to help boost us. It lasted one
turn. Well, Franklin's abilities are much stronger
to aid. It was more of a nail in the coffin.
By the time Franklin helped out, you had barely
health. You're like, give him one extra hit.
If I wouldn't have had that last hit that done
me in, you couldn't have catched me. Well, also
what made it fun is I hit the thing where every
time I get hit, you have to take 1d6 damage.
Except for a monk. He's doing small hits. But
it was fun. Sounds fun. But yes, we do not stick
out like a sore thumb at all. No, I feel very
incognito in this place. I feel like I fit in.
I'm going to just stare at my plate. I'm surprised
that no one has tried to commit a hate crime
against us yet. People don't usually hate me.
I don't know. I'm not loved. You're also... You
thought we were going to look at Madam Cyan and
the fear they have. Hey, Lazagna. What all was
in that kitchen? I have some supplies, and I
have a hankering for making something. Oh, go
read it. There's a lot of stuff in there. There's
obviously normal, you know, refrigerated meats
in there. The fuck is a refrigerator? Oh. Magic.
Magic icebox. Magically chilled box. Yeah, they
have iceboxes that are chilled. No, this is lore
now. What they just said is lore now. Yeah, it
is. In the kitchen, that's what they have. But
definitely go crazy. Because obviously everything
in there is free from what I was told. Alright.
Well, obviously we have enough on our plates
tonight. But tomorrow I picked up some spices.
I recall. Yes. Maybe they have some spices that
you haven't seen yet. You got your bag of beans
too. Yes. You already know what the fuck's about
to go on. I'm already hard. Aren't we all? But
would any... I mean, I still think we should
keep watch tonight just because we have that
other lady that we don't know... What was her
name again? The ex -wife of the forest guy? Mm
-hmm. Are you talking about Glendora? Glendora,
yes. We still have Glendora, you know, that we
gotta be on the lookout for. She don't want none
of this. You know, I wish we would try, though.
I mean, at some point, she will. I mean, it's
extra crucial for you because she goes against
all of... Oh, yeah. I want to dismantle her.
After seeing your chef, is your navigator decent?
I got here, I guess. Does he have any good help?
Because I also forgot to mention... He doesn't
really know how to... Haroon has the... cartographer
tools for map making, but he also has navigator
tools. I forgot he's proficient in that, too.
You're flying above. You can make a big map from
above. I was gonna say. I want a good map from
here to there. I'm gonna do watch on top with
Haroon. Hell. I mean, our four -hour boys can
take care of the watch, I'm sure. Yeah. Well,
now that I'm... Oh, we have another... Oh, wait,
no, sorry. You don't. Never mind. Satiated, I
do suppose. Are you going to the kitchen? No,
I'm going to finish up the rest of my food and
go on watch. Yeah, there's still cream puffs
on the table. They haven't really been touched.
Oh, I will try one. Yeah. Oh, this whole time
I have been just absolutely... You didn't even...
You were just eating all the meat and then you
turn around and there's desserts. How's the cream
puffs? They're good. They're good? They're not
as good as your tart, but you know, they're good.
Haroon's tart. Haroon's tart, yeah. Give me a
sweet little tart. I'll remember that. If there's
nothing else, then I guess Nix will just go to
bed, drink his drink, and sleep it off. I'm going
to go to bed too. Do you want to bunk up again?
Sure. I'll bunk up with Nix, and I will ritual
cast an alarm. virtual task and alarm for our
room. Nice. So there are extra rooms. There are
only three extra rooms, so you guys can share
them. We already took one. I was going to say,
is there a mast? Is there a mast? Okay, that's
where I want to be. There's plenty of room in
your room if you want anyone in there with you.
I'm going to offer it to just a room. If you
offer it to me, then I will go. He was actually
going to halfway ask. When one's taking guard,
the other one's going to be sleeping, so we're
going to be alone in the room. There are extra
quarters for other extra stuff, so you just got
to go in there. When you go into your room, you're
going to see a bag on each pillow with names
on it, and one of them says Frankie. There's
going to be a note on there that says Frankie.
Thanks for understanding. You guys will see that
with your guys' names on it. Yep. She didn't
know at the time. I open mine when I go to the
room. What's in the bag? 2 ,000 gold. Holy shit.
What is in my bag? 2 ,000 gold. Holy shit. Cool.
You open it up and you're like, Frank, what the
fuck? Yeah. Thank you, sir. Thank you very much.
Is that what's in my bag too? Deadbeat ass brother
would be money. I'm sure you're going to get
a text message of something extra in there for
you. A bomb. Disappointment. Yours are chocolate
ones. Well, I was hungry in the first place.
Joke's on you. The thing is, it's old expired
chocolate too. I was hungry in the first place.
first place. Can I possibly try to get the...
If it's possible to have the room closest to
the stairs up to the top deck? Yeah, you can
get... There's a small room in there. Francois
is already in there and he's kind of... He looks
at you and says, are you sharing this room with
me? If you're in here, no. By the way, the cream
puffs were good. Thank you. I was looking for
the Y 'all Harvest one. Oh, he's in the room
right next to me. Oh, okay. That's fine. Cream
puffs are good, though. His face, his cheek is
still a little swollen. He's just like, oh, thanks.
A little tear comes out. If I could be walking
past the doorway just to glare at him. As the
door is closing, he just stands there. You hear
it walk? Yes. Franklin is a villain. Tell you
what, he keeps saying it. Frankie was too soft
for this world. He's not going to do the same.
Were you going to take first watch? Yeah. I'm
going to bed. Harun, you're in the room with...
C .O .F .R.? I molest him. Oh my god. You can't
molest him. I think you're cuddling me. C .O
.F .R. pops out the oil can. Oh yeah. She's got
the hair down. What were you again? An elf. Oh,
sorry. He can have attachments. You hear an odd
sound from the room. Modem noises. Sometimes
I imagine he actually has like three hands. Like
three fingers. So I just imagine the ones on
the side just going and then the one just He's
not even going in and out. He just keeps his
hands there and the fingers are just ejecting
it out of the distance. Go go gadget fingering.
That is a shocking hazard. It's pitching! It's
pitching! Certified robo -fucker. I'm deep! I'm
deep! You have logs in your drawer. Soundproof.
I do not want to ruin it. I do chum it up and
try to catch up on everything that's happened
in the past. And I will give him the full details
of the boxes that I know of. Because I know it
was going to affect him when I messaged him.
Okay. What's in the box? A bomb. I will also
offer you some of the door hooch that I had you
try last time. He is real strong. Yeah, so the
rest of you, who's taking the watch? I am. Yeah,
so right now it's like, it's rather dark out
as there's some storm clouds rolling in. But
other than that, there's some storm clouds rolling
in. Did you say that we're still in grasslands?
You're in the sky. What do you say that we're
flying over grasslands? Just be to the general
vicinity. We should have Ron make you a painting
of grasslands. Actually, he did make a painting
of me a while ago. No, no, no, but just a grasslands
all behind you so you can get the benefits. And
also a forest. I mean, you were in a forest when
I painted you and there'd be a forest in the
background. I thought we were in grasslands during
that. Oh, it was grasslands. Because we saw the
dinosaur herd. You heard? Yeah, all right Okay
All right. Yeah, I don't even need the bonus
because that's a 19. All right. Yeah, so you
see the clouds are rolling in and uh But the
clouds are you know, like clouds don't usually
move in such a regular like pattern You know,
I think it looks like it's traveling more. So
clouds look weird to you As I finish my watch
and go over to wake up Lazagna, as soon as I
shake him awake, I say, Lazagna, clouds look
weird. Ah, okay. That's good to know. Were there
any nice shapes at all? Like, did they look like
a horse? They look way too uniform to be clouds,
and they're moving in a way that the clouds don't
move. Oh. That's weird. Okay. I thought you were
meaning like you saw some shapes in the clouds.
Okay. No, I think that there is evil afoot. Evil.
Thank you, everybody. I was thinking it, but
I was trying so hard not to say it. Every villain
is lemons. A lot of lies known as evil. Okay.
I will definitely keep my eye out. If I hear
anything, you will all know. Good night. Good
night. I'm going to go back out. Yep. Is that
a perception check? Yes, sir. Perceived. Guidance.
Yeah, so he's touching himself for guidance.
Son of a bitch. You jinxed me. 4 plus 8, 12.
12, yeah. The clouds look fine to you. To you?
Yeah. They're just like, yeah, just storm clouds.
You're like, I don't know what you're talking
about. Storm? But I was going to ask you, I don't
know if they changed, and also you, Gonzo, I
just know we've talked about it in the past.
Isn't it Druidcraft where I can sense the weather
for 24 hours? Yeah, you sounded like a little
scared. Oh, well, you gotta select legacy for
the thing. I did, and it's Druidcraft Legacy,
and it's still not there. So that's why I just
wanted to make sure. I always remember Druidcraft
as, like, you're able to, like, spawn small flowers
and stuff like that. Yeah, let's do, uh, let's
see, get the weather flags. Can I cast that,
because he was talking about red clouds? Yeah,
so you have the clouds. I know the weather for
the next 24 hours. Is it supposed to be cloudy?
It's not supposed to be cloudy, yeah. Because
earlier, the day was clear. Clear day. Okay.
Then if... Alright. I'm going to wait probably
a little bit and you let me know how long it
is. Until it starts getting closer. About like
an hour in, looks like it's been getting kind
of closer as it's drifting in. Okay. So it's
gradually getting closer. How far away? So what
does he have, like a Doppler? And now he's just
like, this isn't showing on the Doppler. It's
like one round, you know? It's like one round
that I just kind of know the weather for 24 hours.
And I can tell it's supposed to be clear skies.
So obviously this is a weird little cloud, but
I don't want to wake everybody up for no reason.
How far away is it? Probably maybe like 500 feet.
500 feet? Yeah. Oh, shit. And you're just like,
huh. I wanted to get that close. Can I? Okay.
Oh, then one quick perception check. Yeah, go
ahead. Okay. Guidance. That's cocked. Even though
it was pretty good, it was still sort of natural
20. Nice. Hell yeah. These aren't real clouds.
Alright, then you'll hear this alarm and it's
going to be like a whoop! Whoop! Whoop! You see
some of the one of the elven guards running.
Why are you screaming? What's wrong? Those clouds
aren't real. What the fuck? I sprint up to where
I know the Zog news. Clouds are evil! Clouds
are evil! You guys hear commotion as a Your door's
barged open as Francois is like, wake up! I come
busting out with my basically naked, just underwear.
Just underwear? Yeah. I'll hold my armor in my
hand and my sword in my other, leaving my shield
behind. I'm like, what's going on? Is this needed?
Yes. That would also cause your alarm to go off,
so that would wake you up. Yeah, Franklin, there's
commotion now. I slowly get up and get dressed
and get the fuck up. Does Franklin get up like
a dead man out of a coffin? I would just like
to say, canonically, at first, I'm hearing the
alarm. I would like, I assume I'm not even in
a bed. I'm just like in a station. I would like
jump in front of the bed and be like... And then
we were like, oh, we're getting sued. Yeah. He
was stationed at that foot of the bend. I suppose
you never had him last. I would have known that
there was that close. I would have said something
sooner of that. Yeah, I'd go see what the commotion
was about. I will don the hood of my club. While
I'm getting ready to get out, I have the owl
take off there. Take a closer look. If I can
get out there, I would like to do my detect magic
thing. So I'm actively seeing it. I think the
range is pretty short. It's like 30 feet. It's
16. Yeah, you're right. 30 feet radius. 15 plus
things. Yeah, you're right. I'm talking like
25 or something. But I think either way, we need
to just get into defensive positions. Because
that thing ain't real. Yeah, you got advantage.
You got your cloak on, right? Yeah. Hovran, Siofra
was kind of putting your gear on and you turned
around and she's just gone. You didn't even see
when she left. I leave too. I'm used to this.
God damn it. Again, you just walk out. Aren't
you faster than Siofra now, though? Probably,
but it's going to be close. I got some movement
things now. What is your movement? I think it's
45. Nope. I have 50. My movement is 45. I don't
see you, but I run out. Even though I literally
don't see you, you see me just get a little bit
faster than you as I'm running. Does the owl
come back with anything? It can communicate at
100 feet telepathically with me. It'll fly out
to it and then come back. Does it have any hit
points? It has a single hit point. What is the
AC on it? The AC is 11 feet. It's flying as it's
communicating with you, and it says, I see something,
and you see it kind of, you see, like, it get
hit, and just disappear. Okay. So, it is nightfall,
right? Yeah, it's nighttime. Okay, I'm gonna
use my senses and detect if there's a red dragon
nearby. You can't rule it out. I was going to
say, when it happens. There is no red dragon
nearby. Ah, damn. Okay, well. Wait, you're wearing
your armor? Because you said you came out naked.
I put it on. Yeah, I was like, do I need this?
Yeah, and then once I got told, yes, I armored
up. Okay, cool. Does anybody else want to go
reading? I have dimension doors, so we can just...
I start shaking. Wait, waiting for what? It's
a cloud. It's a cloud. It's a cloud? It's a evil
cloud. I don't feel like it's a cloud. I feel
like it's a butterfly cloud. Maybe, but... I
don't think using Dimension Door... Well, I don't
think using Dimension Door... I'm about to drop
out the sky and die. Do you want me to back you
up and I flash my wild shape ring? As you guys
are talking, the cloud is moving closer. True.
The cloud is 200 feet away now. As you guys have
been talking. I mean, if it's 200, I'm ready
for it. I think that's actually within range
for me to shoot it. Can I cast Bless then on
a few people? Yeah. I will cast Bless on... You
do not see me. Okay. And then it'll be pretty
much bam, bam, bam. Yalharis, Nyx, and Harun.
Melees. Yes. Do you guys want to do perception?
Well, I was going to say, I'm sure you're probably
doing your own Melees. Two. Yeah. Perception.
Cloud, they're kind of weird to you. Are we perception
rolls? Yeah. 14 as well. 30, 20. Can I shoot
it with my bow? I am not doing perception. I
just want to shoot it. You can tell it looks
like some sort of ship that has smoke. Oh, it
is a ship. It is a ship. As you kind of see it
now, it's like smoke is shooting out. It looks
like a ship. I don't know if it's evil or not,
though. Does anybody have, like, a telescope
so we can see closer? I'm going to tell you right
now, with what this ship moves, it's not friendly.
Oh, good to know. You heard the go. I'm going
to use my shadow blade, because that shit can
just be ready for the next eight hours. You said
you were just shooting at it? Yes. Okay. Do you
want to shoot at it? Plus a D4. I don't need
it, but I'll roll it. All right, so 21 plus...
Uh, it's seven. Twenty -eight. Yeah. Um, so I
hit the motherfucker, and this time it's with
a fire arrow. A fire arrow? Yes. So you hear
a clink, like a metallic sound. Mmm. As you see,
like, the fire kind of rips through, like, some
of the smoke and lights it up as you, uh, you
see, like, some sort of, like, metallic object.
I'm going to yell to the crew to start, like,
manning if there's any type of weaponry on this
ship. There should be. They have cannons, and
they start firing. I'm trying to shout orders
of, like, ready and all up, start getting in,
you know, a broadside to the ship coming towards
us. Yeah, they start firing. Yeah, they're going
to start, but you do see some figures start,
they start just kind of slinking off and just
start landing on. I see these things, they just
grob and just splat and just kind of reform.
Like it's just a drop of water, essentially?
Yeah, they're going to drop and they're going
to reform. Okay, okay. What do they turn into?
Just like a weird looking sludgy monster. Splunge
it! That's 15 of them dropped down. Oh my god.
Alright, and... Everyone roll initiative! I rolled
a smack. 24. Actually got a pretty good one that
much. Yeah, I mean, it's better than mine. 22.
Hey, 22. I rolled a 6. You got a 20. Your villain
is lower than 20. Actually, mine is lower than
20. 18. Oh, close. So, I mean, technically, I'm
sitting down here at the bottom of the fucking
initiative board. You've had 22. Hey, what did
you have for dexterity? 8. Plus 4. I'm bad at
counting. Sorry. Wait, wait, wait. Guys, I got
22 as well. You got 22 as well? Ready? 3, 2,
1. 15. 6. 9. Sorry. I did my math wrong. Alright,
so it's going to be over in the next... What
would be next? So for Haroon. Oh, yes. Haroon.
Nix. Franklin. Franklin. God, you guys all got
some high -ass rolls. I got 18. Does that beat
the enemies? It sure does. It sure does. What
about you, the hardest? Does he beat the enemies?
He does not. Shocker. All right. Let's go ahead
and get this right here. Yeah, that's fine. It's
been tearing apart for a while. The actual book
itself is fine. I just like the cover that it
came with. Is there a boat? I just pick one of
those. This is sort of, I mean, I guess that's
actually now done. I would just throw in blanks.
Is it Sharpie? I don't think that's Sharpie.
I think it's just been on there for a while.
What about this blank? Oh, yeah. Yeah, this one
has stuff on it, too. Do you have one? Yeah.
It could be me. I mean, close enough. Oh, here's...
I got next. I got next. Yep. Which one's next?
This guy right here. This little guy. Nice. Doesn't
accurately represent what you're holding, but...
Yeah. Little man, big hammer. Our big sword,
I mean. I know he has a sword now, but it just
makes sense. I had a mace at one point. Yeah,
just put down 12 bad guys. You can put 12 green
guys down. 12 gringos? Yeah. Not to be that guy,
but I thought you said 15. Teacher, teacher,
you forgot to sign homework. Wait, write 15.
My bad. Here, write 15. You're like, I need my
kills. Are you guys still keeping track of your
kills? I've never kept track. I only keep track
in character when we last played, but Jalen did
forget. That last big encounter kind of got out
of control, so I lost count already. Yeah, I
know Nix was keeping track because he was going
hard in that last encounter, but like I said,
Jalen forgot. I only jot down the big ones, like
when I killed the Goliath and the Cerberus. Don't
forget about your temp HP, by the way. Yep, everyone
has nine temporary hit points. You think I do.
It's a bad case of you attacking your kills.
They're only faces. Faces to me. How your family
remembers you doesn't matter. I hope someone
remembers you. Damn, Haroon doesn't track me
because he thinks it's mean. You're like, they
don't matter. This guy for sure. Did you ever
try that lemon square I gave you? Yeah. How was
it? How many were there again? It tasted like
weed lemon square. I didn't get very high because
I took a lot for me. We want to do crew Do we
have any crew helping us? Yeah, there is a Francois
I'll let you roll d12. See how much your crews
up here with you. Well, yeah Fuck. Three. Let's
go. Yeah, so three of your crew. Looks like the
rest of them are kind of just getting the defenses
ready and about to fire off. They're firing the
cannons. You see this thing is getting repelled.
Are you happy with the... Lozagna, fireball.
Fireball of our own ship. So just put them all
around you guys. They just landed all around
you guys. I mean, if we get 60 feet close to
this other ship, you let me know. It's still
metal. Hey, fireball, I was going to say, fireball
doesn't have to go around all around. So they
kind of just landed all around you guys. Okay.
Yeah. So you guys are kind of scattered around
the ship, and then they kind of just landed all
around you guys. We'll put the crew still on
the outskirts. Yeah, you see some cannons are
firing off on the ship as that metal ship is
taking damage. And it's nighttime, right? Mm
-hmm. Oh, yeah. I love that for me. You see Franklin
is smiling. Really hard. Harder than he usually
smiles. He looks really excited. He's really
hard. He doesn't get hard. There's only very
few times where he laughs. Yeah, so these things
are everywhere. You are first. Alright, now we
gotta brush off these skills here. So... Actions...
Oh, fuck. I gotta get this goddamn dagger again.
What does it do? So, bonus action, cast Booming
Blade. Great. And then, since I am stealth, I
will use that blade that is coated with that
magic and hit the one directly behind me with
the bow. Cool, alright. Go ahead and roll to
attack. Through this door, that door right there,
to the left. Yeah, you'll see the other door.
I can guide you there if you want to. That's
going to be the easy way to do it. 22 to hit.
Yeah, I want to hit. Okay. So, then it's going
to be... Sneak attack. Sneak. And then... D4.
So many things! Okay, so that's everything, plus
6. So... 11, 13, 14, 15, 16, 22. 22 to it with
a necrotic dagger. How much of that was physical?
Well, the sneak attack, so that'd be 11, 12,
13, 14 is physical out of the 22. Oh, sorry,
and plus 6. So, 13, 14, 20 of it is physically
with the magical dagger. Okay, yeah, so you stab
this thing as you... The dagger kind of plunges
in and doesn't seem to affect it as much, but
then once the necrotic hits it, it just kind
of just recoils in it. That kind of just affects
it more. Okay. And if I get that, then I'm going
to immediately use my molding feet to get access.
It's a great feat. That's it. Alright, uh...
No, there's... Yeah, that's what it is. I don't
remember. Alright, uh... We got it right in front
of you. Yeah, I was thinking about that. We gotta
have... Oh, cookies. She's begging. Cookies.
I love you. Okay, there's that guy that's right
there. Oh, man. My short sword. No, no, my dagger.
That's right. I gave it to you. That is 22. 22
hits. There's my d8s. And 6 plus 7, so 13 damage
on this guy. Okay. For one hit. You know, the
dagger plunges in. Same thing. It doesn't really
feel as effective as it normally would. I don't
know if it's a stab or something. Even though
it's a magical dagger? Oh, it's a magic dagger?
It's a plus 3. Yeah, they're magic. Okay, yeah.
Okay, yeah, it does. Okay. Then I'm going to
do another stabby stab with the dagger. That
is 24. 24 to hit, yep. Another 13 damage. Alright,
this thing is... Still up. Looks like it's trying
to reform itself, but it's having a hard time
reforming right now. It's still, like, alive.
And I'm gonna... I'm gonna bonus with the Fury
of Blows. Eighteen. Yep, that hits. That... Ooh,
eight plus four. So that's twelve. 12 more damage
So you kind of you kind of transfer you for me
to see her we got just punching this thing and
it just kind of punches it Okay, oh you got it
And then I'm uh, I'm gonna move that case and
like charge it the last guy and hit him with
my last superior blows Oh shit, okay That's five
plus four, so that's nine. And this guy, let's
see. I'm trying to make a dexterity saving throw.
What's his name? I'm assuming a 10 probably wouldn't
save. No, because it's my DC, which is 8, plus
my dexterity, so no. So it's just shove 5 feet.
Okay, yeah, so... And... Oh no, it's prone. It's
prone on the ground. Okay, yeah, so it's... Yeah,
you damage this creature as it kind of just plops
on the ground. That's room. Next. All right.
First things first, I'm a rage. I'm shocked.
Yeah. Crazy. What? What? Why would you do this?
Okay, so... I don't do much. Everyone... Me and
everyone within, that's an ally within 10 feet
of me gets plus 180. Damn. And I have a little
bit of a life above my head. There's nobody within
10 feet of you. I can't be. Really? Because I
might need that. Is that ongoing? Yeah. If somebody
gets within 10 feet of you? Yeah, if someone
gets within 10 feet of me. Oh, okay. For as long
as I'm raging. Oh, yeah, that's awesome. Yeah,
so you start raging. I guess I hit the first
one on the left of me. Oh, this one here? Yeah.
Straight ahead. Oh, this one. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
The one on the outskirts. Yeah, on the outskirts.
I'm going to work my way in. Yep. And I hit him,
I guess. All right. 18. 18 hits. Yeah, you just
slice through it. You kind of just cut through
it as it kind of just reforms after you slice
it. Mmm. I... Am I close to the edge? Yeah. Okay.
I guess I just try to hit it again. 19? 19 hits.
Yeah, same thing. You slice it, it hits through,
it kind of just slices it in half, and it just
kind of reforms again. Alright, I guess if that's
what's happening, I'm going to 5, 10, 15, 20,
25. I'm going to get right in the middle, right
there. In here? Yep. Whoever gets opportunity
to, my AC is 23. So I live by it, so I was like...
Yeah, there was a... Two opportunities. Yeah,
no, the highest was a 16. Alright, that's my
turn. He's wearing his belt to get to the next
room. And I'm within 10 feet. Sweet, thank you,
sir. You're welcome. Alright, um... Where are
they? You're up. Cool. I'm gonna hit that blade
solid. Alright. I'm gonna... Get into it, guys!
Yeah! Yeah, yeah, yeah! Fuck yeah! I'm going
to, um... Stab the guy in front of me with my...
Let's get down to business. Yeah, right? With
my shadow blade. Go ahead. Because it's darkness,
I get advantage on it. I don't know. I don't
know. Yes. Okay, so that's going to be a... It's
going to be 21. Yeah, all the hits. You said
your sword? With my Shadow Blade. Shadow Blade,
that's a magic item, right? No, it's a summon
I did. Oh, okay, cool. It's going to do a 3d8
psychic damage. 3d8 psychic damage? It's going
to do 10 psychic damage. Okay, yeah, the creature
recoils a bit, but it's still alive. Alright,
and then I'm going to... Use the magical short
sword in my other hand to cast green flame blade.
Well, we'll have to attack with green flame blade
on the same guy. That's going to be a 20 not
natural to hit. Oh, it hits. For 12 slashing
with the magical short sword. fire damage on
top of that. Yeah, as you see as the fire kind
of rips through you see this thing just start
evaporating as it just turns to just steam it
from his blade. I'm going to yell out to the
Zogna Fire! Hit him with fire! You are in a wooden
ship. The Zogna's thinking about that. Don't
make my ship on fire! My turn? Lizagna is going
to cast a spell. Sorry, real quick. Is the cloud
still above us? It wasn't a real cloud. Ah, damn
it. Okay. Then he's going to look at me like,
I'm going to show you how to make a real storm.
And then he's going to cast call lightning. Go
ahead. Do it. Do it. Do it. You want to do it
onto the boat. On the boat. Like above the boat.
So it's going to hit them, right? So it's going
to hit the boat. So you want a giant lightning
strike on a wooden boat. It's not going to do
anything. It's better than fire. He said it.
It's better than fire. Go ahead. Do you remember
the spell Bigfoot Lightning Bull? Yeah. It burns
everything in its path. It doesn't say that about
all lightning. It doesn't. Have you seen a lightning
strike turn sand into glass? No. Lasagna has
not. Then fine. It's fine. No, your character
doesn't say do it. You are doing this. There's
no taking it back. I'm taking it back. Is it
a save? You do it. You do it. What are you doing?
It is a save, yes. Are you going to do call lightning?
Well, I know because I can do something else.
What are you going to do? Then I'm going to turn
around and then just look at all these guys and
I'm going to cast Thunder Wave. All right. And
this one's a little bit different. I think it's
fine. 15 -foot cube? Yeah. I should hit these
guys, these three, right? What about your cube?
I don't know. Oh, yeah, I'll get it. It's also
going to hit Nick's. Yeah. I got a 10 -foot cube.
No, this way. Oh, oh. 15 -foot cube. Yeah, I
kind of want to end the list so it just hits
these three. That isn't the one that, like, it
comes from your body? Yeah, it's from your center.
Yeah, it comes from me. It's from the center.
Oh, so I'm supposed to put it, like, under me?
It's supposed to be from you or the center of
it, right? You're the center of it, so. Oh. It's
for the center out from your body. I see what
you're saying. Oh, then I will. Yes, if you're
the center, then you're. There you go. I'll move
like this. Okay, I thought it was, like, a force
that I pushed around. No, no, no. It's around
you, so. Pretty sure. Got it. Okay. So, yeah,
you can go ahead. Yeah, yeah. Is that a save?
Yes, that is still going. This time, it's going
to be a. constitution of 19. That's pretty good.
Only one of them saved. Then I'm going to enact
my channel divinity, which allows them to just
take full damage, which is 80 damage. Sorry,
40 damage on high. Is that included in the one
who... The one that fails is still going to take
full damage, but it's halved. Yeah, they all...
They all just disappear. You see them, he steps
in between, you see them just land thunderous,
and they just evaporate around him. You see his
eyes glow, he just disintegrates. He's three.
I think lightning would really catch it on fire,
though. It's a giant lightning strike hitting
a wooden boat. Have you ever seen a lightning
strike hit a tree? It's like a dead tree, though.
What is a boat made out of? Facts. You got it.
Living trees, obviously. Facts. If this was a
water boat, maybe. Yeah, yeah. It was an air
boat. Holy shit. It's metal. Uh. Bonus action.
Sanctuary onto... No, that's a touch. Never mind.
That's my turn. Is it a touch? Every time we
kiss, that's where it flies. It is now their
turn. As they're going to turn around, what's
left of them will start attacking you guys. Whatever
one I have a booming blade with is going to take
another 2d8 if he moves. No, that one's still
alive. Oh, this one right here. Yeah. It starts
moving towards whoever's closest to him. 14 damage.
Yeah, you see it move and it just explodes. He's
just like... It's like a hot scene. I'm so excited.
Why is it warm? One of them is going to go after...
From all the pits? How far can they move? They
move 30 feet. Two of them are going to surround
Harun. The one that you wound is going to get
to 30. He can stand up. Harun, does a 13 hit
you? Is that a disadvantage? No. Does a 13 hit
you? No. Yeah. And the 11 is not going to hit
you. Yeah, those two are trying to attack you
as they just kind of start slinking at you. And
the other ones are... The one with the wings,
is that... That's me. One of them is going for
you. Does an 18 hit? No, it does not. I got a
21 AC right now. And then... Is that one of the
guards? That's ours. You're about to take a hit.
17 hit? Just roll the damage. Alright. I tap
HP. Oh yeah. It just hits you as this hot water
just smacks you and you take 10 damage. So I
take 1. Nice. Water slaps you. And the other
two are going to attack next. Next I'm assuming
I get 2 and a 7 down hit. No. Yep. These things
are trying to attack you. I mean, they tried
to attack you. They failed miserably. The other
ones, they are attacked for when they miss as
well. Yeah, so that is Yulharis' turn now. Yulharis,
you're next. Yep. I'm going to do my movement.
And then I'm going to shoot at the guy who is
in front of me. I'm using fire arrows, by the
way. Dirty 20. Oh, I hit something. Let's see.
Alright. That's 1d8 plus 2, but I forget what
my fire arrow is. So it would be 1d8 plus 2 plus
fire damage. Balls. You jaws. So that's, I cast
7. And then that guy is also on fire. Okay, I
think it was D6. It was D6, yeah. Roll D6. A
fire damage. A 1. Yeah, so you see it has the
fire arrow. The arrow hits and it just starts
like... The fire definitely hurt it. It's still
alive, but it definitely... Tell that one hurt
more than the regular arrow. Hordebreaker, so
I'm shooting his friend behind him. Alright.
Yeah, that's a 19 plus 7, so that's 26. Then
it's going to be... 3 plus 2 which is 5, and
plus the fire damage which is 3. Same thing,
it hits that one, it singes it, it's still alive,
but you see it not like that at all. And I'm
gonna help out Harun with my last one, my last
attack. I'm going to shoot that guy. Oh, right.
What's theirs? 21. 21, yeah, that hits. What's
happening to this game? Is that Horde Breaker?
Oh, so Hordebreaker, I can do it off of the first
attack, and then I also still get my second attack.
So it's seven, so nine, and then plus an additional
three fire damage. All right. And that will be
my turn. Perfect, yeah. So that one is hurt,
still alive. It is back at the top. So it's your
turn. All right. Well, since I get cheeky sneak
attack. Try to peg this guy in the back of the
head with a dagger of venom. Oh, you'll peg him.
Strapped up, ready for this fight. Ready to go.
He's coming at us. 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13,
14, 15. And then the d4. That's 18. I rolled
the hit first. Oh, it hits, yep. You could, uh,
you have advantage because we're flanking. Mm
-hmm. Yeah, see what happens. Might be able to
get that nat 20. Nah, it's higher, but it's a
17. It's close. It's close. So math again, because
sneak attack has so many dice. 5, 6, 10, 12,
13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18. And then the dagger itself.
Another. points of damage from the first hit.
Yeah, so... You see, this woman had a... Harvesting
his child with the fire arrow, you see Franklin
right in front of you. Almost out of nowhere,
you see a quick shadow just cut through, this
thing just evaporates and just slices right through
the dagger. I will offhand with a psychic blade,
because I'm taking a hint from Mr. Shadowblade
over there. 15 plus 9, 24. This one will be easier
to calculate. 6, 11. Yeah, just 11. That's all
psychic. Yeah, that one had retained damage.
It was on fire as well. You see, you just look
at it and they just burst. You see, like, a corporeal
dagger that's, like, partially see -through here
in my hand, and I lob it. Yeah. Yeah. Give it
a little coy little... Yeah, uh, Nyx, you, uh,
you saw this, too. This is... Nyx is like, damn.
That's it for my turn. You saw her from behind
do that, too. That's the blind side. You see
everything. He has his hand... No, you saw her
behind while doing it. He was holding up his
sword, just like... I put a mirror on the inside
of my shield, mostly to look at myself. You got
that glance. Love to watch her leave. All right,
Harun, it is your turn. Oh, I should have done
that next turn. I'm going to stab. 16. 16 hits.
All right. Nine damage. All right. Still alive.
I'm going to... This is the one that he already
hurt. They're both hurt. You hurt one of them.
Oh, right, right, right. So then it's the one
I already hurt. Yeah. Okay. I'll stab again.
26. Oh, that hits. And 13 damage. Yep. Um, that
one he managed to kill. You see, um, how ruined
with just his fast hands just like sliced through.
Looks like maybe just the quickness of his hands
just caught this thing. Um, I'm gonna do, uh,
Fury, uh, Blues. Alright. Bing, bing, bing. You
turn to the one next to you. Yeah. Uh, that one's
gonna be 18. No, that hits. Uh, That's going
to be eight damage. All right. And it is dead.
Fire attack as well. Okay. So I'm going to move
up and flank. What next? All right. And this
is going to be my second of the two inferior
blows. That's 26. Uh, it's gonna be, um, 7 damage.
Alright, yeah, that one's still alive. And, um,
then, uh, I'm gonna do another Fury of Blues
to show off. Yeah. Um, that's gonna be 17. Oh,
that hits. Uh, 8 damage. Alright, this thing's
looking a little shakier, still managed to reform.
Uh, that one's going to be 14. Well, that was
the second, because I used two fury blows. This
is the second. Oh, okay. You said 14 hits? Yeah.
14 hits. That's going to be another 8 damage.
Alright, you put this in now. Mob killing machines.
You see him just, his hand is just, oh, just
plunges through his thing almost like the speed
of his hands just managed to evaporate his thing.
And that, yeah, that's, uh... your next special.
Yep. Okay, I'm recklessly doing all of these.
Uh, 15 hit? 15 hits. Cool. I'm going to menacing
attack. And... Damn. Low world. I should flank.
Damn. Uh, 15 damage. 15 damage, yeah. You slice
through it and it manages to still reform and
you're like, god damn, it's still standing. Okay.
And then I recklessly attack again. Nice, that's
a lot better. That is a 24 hit. 24 hits? Yeah.
Uh, also another medicine attack. I'm rolling
on it. Uh, 18 damage. Yeah, that's pretty good.
You slice through it and it manages to just,
a little slower this time, but it manages to
still reform itself. My action surge. I am putting
these things down. Still work a slay tap. Okay.
Does an 18 hit? 18 hits. Another line of slay
tap. By the way, he needs a save of 16. For what?
To be not feared. Oh, to not be feared? Yeah.
Uh, he failed, yeah. Okay, well, 19 damage. 19
damage, yeah. You managed to hit it. It's slower,
but it's still kind of... How much health does
this guy have? I have a magical sword, by the
way. Oh, it's magic? Oh, yeah, it's dead. Yeah,
that's what I said about my dagger. It's magic.
You gotta tell me it's magic, because otherwise...
You could have had him dead a while ago. That's
what I thought. After that whole last turn, I
was like, that should have killed him. Yeah,
because he didn't say which weapon. Yeah, that's
a nice thing to hear. Only weapon weapon. You
gave it to me. I don't know what else he got.
I did specify to save my dagger when I realized
I wasn't doing it. Yeah, you killed the same
for sure. That was four kills for me. You see
your cannons have struck the ship down. It was
like a white ship as it starts falling towards
the ground. Do I recognize it? It's just a white
ship? Go ahead and look yourself in the check.
Got it. Was that for guidance? Was it a D4? Yeah.
You see her look over, you touch her on the shoulder.
Anybody else looking over? Yeah. Every single
time. Oh, natural fuck a 20. It's 10 for me.
17 plus 8. Myself. I got a 1. 3. You have to
look. It's because I touched you, that's why.
17 plus 8. Yeah, so you two know some insignia
that you remember from the war. These were some
of your allies that you had fought along with.
So it looks like this is one of the regiments
that was in charge of air combat. So you're just
like, huh. The allies of the war? Are we the
bad guys? Yeah. What the fuck? We'll talk. We'll
talk. We'll talk about this later. We're not
around here. I've never fought alongside Goop.
What is his name? Do you want to go check it
out? So, I'm going to tell the ship to turn ahead
and basically fall to the ground. Yeah, you see,
they're just like, you want us to do what? Why
does it matter? As you see, one of the navigators
is looking at us like, we're going to go off
course if we do that. I need to make sure we
don't have to run into this again and be surprised.
We're putting it down for good. Yes, ma 'am.
I can get back on course. I'm going to look at
him sideways. This elf looks at you just like,
what does that mean? Is there anybody that needs
tending to their injuries? Speak now or get tossed
overboard. No, I think we're all fine. You guys
seem to have handled them pretty well. Okay.
Yeah, you guys really helped. The three people
that didn't move. I forgot about them. You guys
have them, so it's fine. Oh yeah, we didn't put
them in initiative. I think it actually really
tracks that they just stood there and watched.
About halfway through, I was thinking the same
thing. I was like, they didn't even move yet.
And I'm like, eh, it don't really matter. We
got it. They were overwhelmed by seeing that
you guys just distracted. You guys were like,
what the fuck? More accurate. Yeah, you see...
Well, you guys don't see anymore. I'm assuming
you slinked out of there. No, not yet. I'm not
slinking out yet. You want to take the whole
ship down? I am guiding the boat to get closer
to the ground so we can disembark. I could fly
us down. Or someone goes down too. Or you could.
Well, someone mentioned a dimension door. Do
you want to use that now? Are we taking the boat
down or no? Because if we're just... Hanging
up. They're doing whatever she says, so there
you go. Taking it near. I don't think all the
way down. Yeah. You want to just pop down real
quick? Yeah. Get us in range. What's the range?
500 feet. All right. Get us within 500. Yeah.
It crashed into kind of like a swampy marshland.
Half of it's kind of destroyed. You guys are
floating above the wreckage of this ship. Yeah,
I would go with him if he takes me. Yep, just
hand on the shoulder and... Yeah, did you see
both of them just dip out of there? Yeah. We
do good geese. Yeah, you just saw both of them
just... That's my dog. Magic out of there. Like
Harry Potter where you see them just like twist
up and evaporate. I feel like it's more sophisticated
like that. Don't worry, that just pops up. You're
going to be intently watching over the side of
the boat. I am investigating the crash. I will
as well. As you guys get down there, go ahead
and roll the investigations. I don't need the
help. I have a good investigation. I'm going
to roll the net one. 24. You're kind of distracted
by all the cottage, and you're just like... You
kind of see some of the bodies have been torn
apart. He's smiling. Maybe. A little whatever
about casualties, but I'm just pushing them out
of the way. You're just like, fuck these guys.
Yeah, what did you get? 24. 24, yeah. Oh, yeah.
So you notice that... You're like you're like
how one of these ships get up here like what
the fuck are you think you notice that some of
the Bodies are looking to be somewhat like a
one with a war fords like because you thought
you found pieces of Looks like a part of an elf
what survived of their body And they're wearing
old uniforms that you have So recognize it yeah
Anything left of any type of like supply or gear
or anything? Or is it pretty much just random?
It had taken some damage from your guys hitting
it and then also landing, so not much was left.
There is like what looks like a bunch of goo
that had just been all around. I'm going to take
the end of my dagger. Poke it and scoot it. I
just fought a bunch of blobs. I want to know
if it's done. It doesn't appear to be moving,
but it's kind of just... I think we did the deed.
Going to where the captain's quarters would be
at, in wherever the biggest room is, essentially.
What's going on in there? Are you talking about
the... Oh, the whole thing. So it's just kind
of like torn apart, so not much of it's left.
But he found pretty much what... The ship is
gone. Yeah. It had taken significant damage from
their ship, and then also from when it landed
and hit. I think we're clear here. You have that
fancy trick back, or do you want me to just bring
the boat closer? What a gentleman. As they pop
back up and then report their findings. Looks
like we're all clear. And you're on our way.
Now, when you say that you found pieces of them...
Wait, what are you going to tell them? The full
deal. Yeah. Now when you say paces, were they
like, you know, put together in one body type
paces? I think they were lunch for a couple days.
They're remnants. Oh, I understand what you're
saying. Even in the Warforged? There's only an
arm and a leg. Did you check the neck? Oh, there's
only an arm and a leg. That's what it cost me.
Now, Gonzo, was that because it crashed? Yeah,
part of that was a crash, but part of it was
just body parts. Could I roll to see if I'm able
to identify the goop blob men that attacked us?
Can I assist him? Yeah, you can kind of roll
me an investigation of this, because you're kind
of just checking out the remains of what, like,
Was on the ship. Can I assist him? Well, that's
a natural one. Yeah. If we're back up here, can
I try to do the same? Yeah, you can. Go normally
to Arcana. Arcana? Yeah. Okay. That's gonna be
a knight. Yeah, you, uh... Buster. Thanks. Doesn't
look like anything you've seen before. It doesn't
look like... Something... It's not natural. Is
there samples left? Not much there is just like
a little bit of goo, but I like scoops. I'm into
like a lot. Yeah, there's a little bit Because
of their sailor Oh, I love see me what everybody
loves how many see me What? Not the Navy And
with that, we could call it there, because you
guys, uh... Great session, boys. We killed some
goop semen. I'm still on two. I mean, can we
just call them semen? I mean, that's kind of
what they were. I think goop semen is very funny.
Okay, goop semen. That's a good one. The goop
semen. The goopies. The goopies, that's... The
goopy men. Octolib of Das Goopy. But anyways,
great session, folks. We'll catch you next time.
Later, nerds. Later, nerds.