I say, got him. Well, let's go ahead and get
it started before the pulled pork sliders come
out. This is Freakin' Nerds. Oh, yeah, yeah,
yeah. A D &D podcast where six friends smoke
some drink and have some dink and play some Dungeons
& Dragons. My name is Will. I play the character
Lazogna Moskai, a druid wood elf cleric. And
a fun false fact for y 'all Harris. Oh boy. Is
he doesn't like chickens because he thinks they're
foul. That's what you meant. What are you chicken?
The fuck you say? He's like, hold on. No, no,
no, no. Keep your shirt on. Keep your shirt on.
Oh man. Well, you got me good on that. Oh, yeah,
uh, go, um, yeah, actually, I know which one
that is. Go right ahead. Alright. We could probably
bring that one a little bit closer. Okay. I can
bring it down just a little bit. Bring it down.
Whoa, whoa, whoa. Bring it down, bitch. And let
me see you back it up. Yeah. Um, hello, uh, I
am playing the character of Yulhoris Sithrith.
Uh, I'm that Aladrin Summerform goddamn ranger.
Uh, some might call me... And a fun false fact
about our good friend Nix here is that in the
past, before we knew him, he used to have the
most luxurious hair that actually went all the
way down to his ankles, and it was only up until
the time that we met him during the war that
he decided to shave it. You know, I've actually
not put much thought into what Nix's hair ever
looked like. I didn't have very short hair. Me
too. Now that you said it, I'm imagining short
hair, but it's genuinely never something that
came to mind. Everything else but that. I always
pictured short hair too. I always pictured a
completely bald ponytail down your ass. A rat
tail. Just one long rat tail. It's actually a
man bun. I've been a man bun this whole time,
guys. That's lore now. Oh, good. I'm Jalen. I'm
playing Nyx the fighter barbarian, or barbarian
fighter. A fun false fact about Franklin. I don't
know. We don't know much about Franklin. Everything
feels false at the moment. He says, oh, false
fact about Franklin. He is not Frankie's brother.
Wait, he is Frankie's brother. I haven't even
forgotten. He's Schrodinger's brother. He is
Frankie's brother. It's the false fact. He may
or may not. That's the false fact? Yeah. That's
my little dude. That's why he's so small. He's
my little brother. Alright, I'm Ben. I'm playing
Franklin. Uh... Frankie's older brother canonically.
A bladeslinger wizard here to keep things very
light and comfy cozy for our enemies and friends.
And a fun yet false fact about Haroon would be
that He's actually got pogo sticks instead of
feet. Yes. The camera has just never panned down
far enough for us to see. That's why he moves
so quickly. That's why he hops everywhere, right?
Oh, man. That would explain it. He's always jumping
to it. But wouldn't he expect a gadget? Great
movie. I don't care what anyone says. The only
attachment he has is some pogo stick legs. Pogo
will go -go. Am I circling back over to Lazogna?
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. My false fact, oh, I
know, hold on. I'm Mark. I play Harun Wen. Warforged,
punk, bit of a baby. And then my false fact about
Lazogna is that he's actually great with numbers.
Like he can do math numbers, but it's kind of
like not sponsored. Kevin from the office, where
if it's food related, he's got it. If it's regular
numbers, what is it? Yep. Yep. I believe that
to be true, though, just because of how good
of a cook that he is. Is it really food -related,
or is it, like, fire -related? Like, how many
homes is this fire going to burn down? We'll
see. He's real fast with his fingers. How many
trees can you burn down? He's like, oh, wait,
no, I'm a druid. I know how to do this. Sometimes
I really beat young people. How many houses are
in this town? What do you mean? Ask me again
in a minute. As soon as I pull fire, I'll know.
Yeah, I'll know. Alright, Gonzo. I hate to ask,
what are you wearing? For you? You gotta talk
into the mic, though. You gotta, like, put the
mic. Yeah, for you? Oh, yeah, for you, I'm wearing
my, uh... I'm not sure if J -Lo knows who this
character is. Oh. Am I the only one who would
know? It's a Naruto. It's Naruto, though. Naruto!
No, that's not Naruto. It's from the show, Naruto.
Well, I hope this session isn't a pain for you.
Is the top one not Naruto on your ankle? No,
it's pain. It's a character pain. If you look
closer, he's got the studs on his nose. We are
sponsored by pain. Brought to you by pain. Okay.
And you know what the great thing is? Is that
Haruna's actually gained another emotion. It's
pain. What's that? Injured? Good, stay that way.
Emotional damage. What's your real fact? My real
fact is that Franklin also enjoys cooking, but
he doesn't like talking to people. He's a secret
chef. I don't cook food. Food cooks me. It tells
me how it wants to be cooked. It's great. My
actual grandpa, my opa, he never cooked the same
thing twice. uh and he would always just like
make a super crazy elaborate dish like every
once once every three months or something um
and then you know basically turn the rest of
us you clean it up and walk away like he he uh
so I'm down with this fact. That's me. I make
hoity -toity food for smart people. Yeah, none
of that gumbo shit. Hey, keep that low -class.
Keep that shit on your side. You know what I
mean? Fuck. Get fucked. I haven't thought about
it yet, but maybe Franklin's going to start talking
a little slower to you guys so you understand.
Know your mise -en -place. Inspiration? Who wants
to recap for inspiration? Who remembers what
happened? I think last time we killed some guys.
Stay with me. We fought some other guys. Killed
those guys. Took one hostage. Asked him some
questions. Really ran out of Gonzo's imagination
with that. Once he had everything expounded upon.
I think we let him... Did we let him go? Odds
are Nick Spruilley killed him. I don't remember.
I can't remember either. No survivors. Gnome
survivors. No gnome survivors. Basically, we
found that halflings, after trying to get on
their way to the broker, got into a fight, saved
one, got into a different fight, saved two, I
think. And we also saw the drawing of the evil
sword with the Goliath. Yeah, okay, Mark remembers
way more than me. We also found dynamite. Yeah,
we did find dynamite. Shoot it over that way.
Nyx is carrying a very decent amount of dynamite
in his pockets. Yes. I'm going to explain to
Nyx. He's got the magic hands, though. Yeah,
I don't remember exactly who got what. I know
you took a few because of your arrows. Yeah,
I got some, too. Yeah, I didn't take any. I do
remember that, but I don't remember exactly,
so. What's our team name again? Group name? War
Dogs. War Dogs. Which actually works great because
our movie, if we ever make a subtitles campaign,
it'd be like War Dogs and then underneath it,
no survivors. That's how we put all our hands
in the middle and say, one, three, one, two,
three, no survivors. What did those guys just
say? You have Mazogna teetering with his morality
the whole time. One, two, three, they could have
stopped it. There's maybe only been one time
where we've let people go free after we fucked
them up and it was those goblins. Yeah, and then
I left him a torch and a little bit of food and
then Frankie specifically picked up that torch
and food when I wasn't looking and left him with
nothing. Ha ha! But then that guy also went back
to his camp and snitched on us. No, that was
before. That was the goblin goblin before we
crossed the river. No, after we crossed the river.
No, I don't know. I wouldn't say Frankie doesn't
believe in handouts, but he doesn't believe in
unintended items. If the goblins hadn't allied
themselves with the liches, then we would be
able to trust them. True, true, true. Is that
inspiration worthy to Ben? No, it should be Mark.
I remember because I read it, but you actually
remembered. Broad strokes. No, it's Mark. How
about we just give each of them? How about we
just give everybody inspiration? Because we're
just so good. Mark gets inspiration. It's because
he also took notes. That's the correct response.
Now if he fails a roll, I'm going to be like,
I used my inspiration. And then they kiss. Well,
we're not planning on failing any rolls this
session. Let's go. I do recall that we ended
basically towards the end of battle. And we're
still basically traveling to the city. Yeah,
you guys are traveling to the city right now.
I guess you guys pick up travel to the city.
You're about to be there. You guys want to discuss
anything as you get to the city? Can we short
rest on this? Yeah, you guys are making your
way back, so it's whatever you guys want to do
on the way back. How long is a chill week? You
guys are only maybe like four or five hours away
at this point. Okay, yeah, so we can make it
there today. Yeah, a short rest would be good,
though. You and me are big on nap time. You guys
left in the morning, so you'll be there by like...
Early evening. You guys want to catch a breather
real quick? On our little journey here? Like
a short rest or a long rest? It's just a short
rest. If it's four or five, we can make it. Yeah.
But, like, a little short rest might be good
to catch our wind after. Yeah, because we did
just have some battle. You guys are taking a
short rest. After the violence we've visited
upon some people. All right, you guys mark down
a short rest. Cool. And I'm going to use... As
we're just sitting around enjoying the weather,
waiting to move again, I look over to Lazagna.
I really wasn't expecting there to be so many
halflings. I didn't think so either. It's quite
interesting that they keep trying to follow them
even after we've killed their leader. Well, one
of their leaders, I guess. I still suspect that
there is some wild magic afoot with all of these
feral ones and their magical cloaks and whatnot.
Yeah, they look different, didn't they? They
look like they're corrupt. They seem too organized
for it to be a small group of two. I mean, this
seems more than... They had, like, a fallback
point, and with, like... supplies and logistics
supplies like dynamite i feel or do we know it's
dynamite we do yeah okay okay i just want to
make sure i wasn't and it's not and it's not
a that is it's a very you said dynamite's pretty
rare right like we just don't get it it's like
it's a especially because for the most part i
mean that's like a it's got to be like a not
like a supply people have but like a bigger organization,
right? Like a mining thing or something? Yeah,
you know, like a mining company would have access
to or something like that. Yeah, so, I mean,
they're too well -outfitted and organized. Especially
for somebody like... Because you guys saw, they
especially ran people into planes, too. Mm -hmm.
Yeah. So, yeah, my feeling is there's got to
be somebody higher up, maybe, who's not directly
out here, but... Well, we know... ...guiding
it. Well, we can gather that they're connected
with the Emerald Claw. But as far as where their
further staging points are throughout the Talenta
Plains is yet to be seen. We wiped out, you know,
whatever cell is here. But there's going to be
more Goliaths. We know that. Please. This should
be easy enough to spot. Yeah. So did that Black
Blade, like, jog any story from you guys? Specifically,
it did not. Or, I think that we might have heard
something about it at some point, but... That
there was a specific person wielding it, but
just not, like, anything else that we know about
it. That's like... The alarm's going off. I know
you have your headphones on. What's the hit dice
for a druid? Is it a D8? I think so. Your alarm
is not set. What? Alexa, turn off timer. Damn
it. What was your question? It is. It is a D.
Sweet. When you get a D6, let me know. What's
up? I love this. My poor boy. My poor boy. I
used three hit dice. I used three hit dice. Full
health. Oh, were you down a lot? Not really,
no. I think they were fucked up more than I was.
I guess, yeah, we took some damage when we were
in that first encounter. Yeah, I mean, it really
wasn't much damage that I got hit by. I think
it was mainly just the arrows that I was getting
hit by, even though I was, like, in the back
line most of the time. Yeah, bastards. I say
doing the exact same thing, of course, but, you
know. I mean, but, like, you are able to stay,
I feel like, much farther away than I am. Oh,
yeah, like, my good range is up to 150 feet,
but I have range up to 600. God. That's insane.
Yep, shout out to Aladrin being Primordial Elves.
That's not a normal thing? I mean, this is the
first time that I've ever played a ranger, and
also the first time that I've ever played an
Aladrin. It might be because you're a ranger
too, though. Yeah. Like, normally the way that
I like to play, like, legit Wizards of the Coast
D &D is every time I'll, like, do something new,
like a new combination. Like, you know, when
I decided to play as Guy, I'm like, you know,
I'll do a warlock. I've never done that before.
Although there are, like, certain classes that
I always come back to being a druid and a barbarian.
That's interesting. I like both of those quite
a lot. I caught up on the last three chapters
yesterday on my lunch break, and like, god damn.
Oh, by the way, I finished Attack on Titan. Yes!
I damn near cried. Not at the ending, I think
it was when one, god, I can't remember her name,
but the general. I can't remember her name. Hanji.
Hanji, yeah. That one, that one got me. Just
a little bit, but I was like, respect to her
though. Yeah. Bad bitch. But yeah, no, I literally
was just like, fuck everyone, everyone needs
to die except for like the original scouts. You
know, those are the only good people in here
right now. Yeah. Alright, where did, uh, sorry.
No, you're good. We were, uh, resting. Yeah,
you guys were resting. It goes without saying
that I'm still charting our way on traveling.
You charting? You charting or are you drawing
them as they take their quick rest? No. I'm charting.
Well, if we're resting, then I don't gotta chart
nothing. Yeah, you guys, they're taking a short
rest. Maybe. I'm gonna draw on Franklin. See
how that goes. I'm gonna be Ritualing ritual
casting find familiar since I got all the time
now Call forth my I think it's gonna be an owl,
but let's see if I want something else. Wait,
was it do we not have it as slight as hand? Well,
I think the side hand, right? Yeah, I think yeah,
I think that's all then Yeah It's a pretty decent
drawing. He's kind of shifting around, so you're
kind of just... But you're also trying to do
it without really being seen, because you don't
know if he's going to be mad or not. You haven't
really talked about it yet. You want me to roll
some stealth, too? You want it to be that one?
I'll try to stealth. Yeah, go ahead and try to
roll stealth, too. That's better than I am. 24.
Roll perception. What'd you get? 24. Yeah, you're
way better. Yeah, I don't know. What are you
summoning? Summoning? I'm calling forth an owl.
I need something in the air. We have an owl?
I have an owl. Who? Who has an owl? I have an
owl. Who? Who, bitch? Don't even say who around.
Who? Who? To him, it's just the what, when, where,
and why. Hell yeah, okay. Naming the owl. It's
named Rick. And it goes, Woo! That's the funniest
shit I've ever seen. He's like, why didn't you
say who? Oh, his name is Rick. He just says,
Woo! And because I get to choose the type it
is, it'll be a Fae. Fuck yeah. That explains
why he doesn't say it right. Can I try to slip
the drawing into Frank Braden's pocket? But,
like, halfway sticking out so we can find it.
What? I said, can I try to, like, slip, like,
secretly, like, the drawing into Franklin's pocket?
Yeah, go ahead. Like, halfway in and halfway
out so we'll find it. Go ahead and hold me a
slight hand and see if you... I'm going to catch
that shit. Okay, let's see. Slight a hand first.
Okay. See if you can slip it. Another 15. Uh,
am I also supposed to roll stealth on this, too?
No, this is just a sleight of hand because you
were just kind of walking with him. I got a 16.
So I'm going to let him put it in my pocket,
and then as soon as he looks up, it's just going
to be me staring at him in the eyes. Smooth,
and then you look up and you guys lock eyes.
Hi, Haroon. That's me, you. Don't worry, soon
enough you'll learn about privacy. What about
not putting your hands in other men's pockets?
I didn't put it in there. I slipped the paper
in. At least not without intentions. Let's go.
Are you going to open... He slipped some paper
into your pocket. Are you going to open it? No,
I think I will take it, still rolled up, and
I'll just put it in my bag. Wow. Haroon, if you
want me to look at a painting, you've got to
ask me to look at a painting. I'm never going
to look at that thing. That's okay. So the drawing
is more specifically an action shot of him trying
to summon the bird and me trying to get it appearing
out of nowhere. Like a magician? Well, yeah.
In the drawing, it's supposed to be him trying
to form or however his interpretation is. He
just wrote poof over it. Yeah. So I command my
Rick with flair to go forth! Just to scout the
area. Come back if he sees anything. Go ahead
and roll me a perception check for the bird.
Guidance on the bird. I'm just kidding. Where
did you touch that bird? He's got an advantage
because he's a bird. Or wise now. Wise, huh?
Who? So that's going to be a 21 for this for
Rick. Rick, Rick, Rick. It looks like so far
he just looked at clear sailing from here on
out for what he scouted ahead, so he didn't see
anything. Cool. Yeah, no, so he has to be up
to 100 feet to telepathically communicate with
me, so basically I just want him continuously
playing out. Oh, okay. Kind of dipping back in
and reporting back. Okay, cool. Yeah, so he's
kind of just circling right now. And so far what
he sees, he says he doesn't see anything, so.
Okay. Should we get this cart moving? Start charting
our course? I think so. I don't like staying
in one place too long. What time is it? It's
about, like, afternoon. Afternoon? Yeah. So we
can probably go for a few more hours. Yeah, so
you'll get there by evening. By evening? Yeah.
Okay. Yep. Let's get all moving fast travel right
now. So it's evening time. Okay. We're at the
city. Yeah, you guys didn't want to You guys
it's gonna be smooth sailing in a couple hours.
Once you guys wanted to roleplay you guys Take
stuff to get in the car. We're on the d20. I
got a 12. What does that mean? I'd like to take
I'd like to will to give me guidance on putting
that one step forward The other one We're at
the city you're at the city I put the car away
The cart, where are you going to put it? So this
is like a... A way. Well, it's that same city
we came from where we put the cart the first
time, right? No, this is kind of like a... Oh,
I thought it was the same city we saw Haroon's
sister. No, this is a different city. Oh, this
is a different city, my bad. You guys took a
lot of planes, remember? Oh, okay. Yeah, so this
is like a... So this is where there's fancy stuff,
there's... So it's kind of like in between the
desert and like plains area. So we haven't been
here? Yeah, I've been here. This is where you
guys ran into Gar. Oh, right. We barely even
checked out that city. Yeah. We simply showed
up. Gar was like, hey. That's right. He found
him wandering because you guys went to the bar
and he got to go to the bar. He was drunk at
the bar. We literally just found him and did
it. You don't want him to go to the bar. That's
right. That's what we often do. I was like, well,
he's going to be at the bar. I didn't think he
was going to go to the bar first. You went straight
for the bar and found him. Of course. You're
on a long journey. You probably haven't had that
much to just drink whenever you want. You have
to ration it out. Okay, okay. I don't think if
you listen back to our podcast, that's true at
all. I think there has never been a shortage
of alcohol for the party. We've had a lot of
alcohol. I think what happened is Nick's heard
bar and went, what? Bar first? Nothing better
than shopping is drunk shopping. Yeah, I don't
remember, but I'm pretty positive that is true.
We were like, he was known to be at the bar.
Bar? It was like a dog when he hears car. Car
ride? Car ride? Nix, where are you running to?
I know where it is! Oh shit, guys. Are Nix's
anger problems alcohol related? Probably. We've
established that he just has anger problems and
the way that he exacerbates them is with alcohol.
Nix doesn't love himself so he drowns his feelings
in alcohol. Yes. So we gotta make Nix love himself?
Yes. That's our goal? That's your goal. You gotta
boost my self -esteem. It's the most dangerous
person. Oh, I was thinking in a more physical
sense. The person with the ego that hates themselves.
Yeah. I'm the best and I hate myself. You see,
this is his loyalty quest. So right. We're at
the town now. You guys are at the town. I still
have the owl out and about, so I think the owl's
just perching wherever we're at, kind of on the
building on top. Let me perception check, boys,
and see if you guys can see anything. Guidance.
Nat 20 for my owl. Oh, nice. A 15 for... 30,
20. 8. Would you say that since we are still
in the plains, are we now in a different environment?
It's kind of like a desert slash plains. I'll
jab it. Thank you. What a guy. This is why we
love him. You guys use an owl circling a certain
area. You got 20, you said Dirty 20. Dirty 20.
Uh, Haroon got 21, and you got, what did you
get? I got, uh, 15 for myself, and, uh, now I'm
20 for the owl. So the owl, like, for a moment,
like, it looks like the owl's just kind of, like,
perched in, like, midair. But... It's catching
up drafts. No, it looks like he's sitting on
a building that's... Oh, you said mid -air. Yeah,
like, he's just, like, in mid -air, like, looks
at these perks on a building, but there's no
building there. But you kind of see, like, the
reflection of, like, a... Oh. Oh, I get what
you mean. Yeah. How far away from this are we
from this? That's my L. So, yeah, the L's, like,
100 feet, and then the L just says, like... I
mean, I see it. Are you... Are you landed on
something? You guys see the bird that's just
perched onto nothing? No, I'm asking Al, though.
Are you landing on something? Yeah. Point me
towards the door. I mean, I can see it, too.
You can see it, too? Yeah. Oh, well, it's all
metal. There's a building there. I'm just having
this conversation now. You guys see the bird
just perched onto nothing over there? Huh. Isn't
that how he found us the first time? Franklin,
you don't know, but you weren't fire. Is this,
like, just painted to look hard to see, or is
this magically invisible? Magic. Okay. Yeah.
Well, then I can't see anything until we get
within ten feet away, and then I'm going to see
it for real. Yeah. Yeah, you're just like, fuck.
You're like, if I was ten feet! Yeah. But you
guys you guys are going there and you see like
as you get closer like this like it seems like
this is like pitch black building that just in
the center of town just looks like it's Really
out of place, but they all on top of it. That's
a good argument your blindside Yeah, yeah I hang
it up and down I say offhandedly to the group
I wouldn't conspicuous. Yeah, I think this is
where we have to go, unfortunately, and, uh,
let's try to find the door, and I try to go into
this room. Okay, they start walking up to, are
we, like, ten feet now? Yeah. Okay, I'm just
gonna start actually looking for the door since
I can see it. You don't see a door yet, but,
um, you see, uh, Franklin, you do have a card
in your pocket, so. I just started touching the
wall. But you see Franklin walk up to it and
he just kind of goes to it and as Franklin goes
up to it the door forms and is now there for
him. Guys, I found it. Ah, beginner's luck. Go
ahead and step on in. My brother always said
it sucks to suck and I can't agree more. Are
you opening the door and letting yourself in
first or are you letting them in? No, Franklin's
always first in. Always first in. You guys get
the sloppy seconds. Hell yeah. Entourage, take
out the bag. Let's go. Let's roll, boys. Honestly,
knowing him, I thought he was going to say, I
don't let anybody behind my back. No, sorry.
He doesn't let threats behind him. Right or wrong,
he always considers himself the most badass.
He's been wrong lots of times, but not that you'll
ever know. Face to face with a dragon alone?
Just imagining an early level D &D wizard. He's
only just recently hit that stride. Early levels
are a lot of running. He's really feeling himself
right now. Yeah, that's right. This shit ain't
nothing to me, man. I mean... You guys get on
in there, and, um... As you walk in, like, the
door behind you just, you know, goes away, and...
The room just... It's black, and then it goes
into... A familiar chamber where you guys had
talked to the information broker. And he's now
sitting in front of you. Well, boys, good job.
Boys, most of you survived. Is this the one that
made us feel like we were falling from really
high? Do the thing again. It was Nick, so you
wanted to join in. I remember that. Do the thing,
please. I am asking so nicely. I am such a tired
old man. And I'm not even old. Can I roll persuasion?
I have a negative one. He just says, uh, enough
of that. So, um, yeah, so you, you, uh, you completed
this job. They paid you well. I assume, looking
at your friend here. Adorned in his dragon seal
armor. Oh. Yeah, I mean... The salt thing? The
salt thing! You're wearing the helmet too, right?
Yeah. Because the helmet has the horns on it.
Yeah. You seen the armor? It looks sick. I have
not seen the armor, actually. The armor itself
is pretty fucking sick. Yeah. With my championship
belt. Yeah. What's it called? I can just name
one. Yeah, I can just name one, but specifically
it's the red one. Yeah. Here, so it looks like
this. Okay, that is sick. But yours is like red
scales. Yeah, when he compliments my armor, I'm
just going to turn to him and say, I mean, this
is nice, but we saw something about this really
cool sword in a cave. You know anything about
that? Because I think that's a much better reward.
I don't think it was cool. It looked pretty cool
to me. It looked pretty cool, but it also looked
pretty evil. Very evil. Who decides what is and
isn't evil? Sir? You are a very suspicious man
because you're like a black thing, right? Whoa,
whoa, whoa. Because he's a shadow. He's a shadow,
right? No, no. He's a shadow. Yeah, but it's
like a black... blurry figure, right? I don't
know why. Oh my god. Do not make me seem like
I'm the fucking crazy one here. Listen guys,
he edits this. Why would he edit out gold? I'm
gonna keep this in. The whole time he's been
like bright pink. But I'm just saying, it's like...
Oh, okay. But it's like... It was like a black
sword. Is that not bad? That sounds evil. It
depends on... Have you seen it? We were told
about it. There are many evil swords. Well, the
person that was holding it is supposedly very
evil. So is that a good sword for us to grab?
I don't think so. Probably not. Magic items are
only as dangerous as the people using them. So.
Who knows if it's really evil. The person using
it is evil. He's like, oh, pleasure to make your
acquaintance. Sir, what is your name? My name
is Franklin. Oh! Franklin the Elder. You got
your name back! Yes. Recently. Unfortunately,
but. Yep. Well, Mr. Broker, we're still on our
wild goose chase. Thank you for dinner. Sorry.
Thanks, Jessa. Thank you very much. So, what
goes on next? We have some ideas of what's going
on, but something tells me you might know more
than us. Well, as you may have seen, there are...
A lot of figures in Power that are being used
as puppets right now. As you may know, one of
your friends is currently with one of them. That
bitch. I know you're saying that out loud too.
And they are trying to move forward expanding
their rails, so we suspect that... They're doing
this to ship something. Or be able to have lines
of shipment. Dragons? We saw those, right? The
dragon shards? Yeah. Yeah, we saw them. The dragon
shards, right? What's part of... Just imagine.
Think about what they could power. I'm assuming
a war machine of some sort. Either that or...
Oh, you got better at talking. He hasn't heard
it in a while. I'm really just talking with you.
That's what it is. Yeah, our friend here learned
some emotions recently. Apparently comedy was
one of them. But as far as we can tell, dragon
shards are being used. by these puppets from
the Emerald Claw. We recently discovered a cell
of what appear to be feral halflings in the plains
being run by Goliaths. And one of those Goliaths
was using some sort of cursed black sword. I
still think that they're trying to ship more
undead into cities to create an insurgent force
after what we saw originally with those vampires.
They're also operating Tide sporting a large
amount of dynamite. That as well. I think they
were just trying to blow us up, to be honest.
I don't think so. Dynamite's not, as a tool,
it's not so much a weapon for most. You may know
more than me on that, Franklin. I've blown up
my share of people. There was this one time,
and, uh, Alright, let's start with the kid. Oh,
I'm sorry. We'll wait for later. Sorry, sir.
Go ahead. This one involves a kid. Let's just
say Easter wasn't so happy. Easter isn't a thing
here. In which case, insert appropriate D &D
everyone holiday. Insert holiday. Egg holiday
wasn't so cheery. I guess we should have just
made up a little one, yeah. The firework show
wasn't as happy that year. It wasn't quite as
spectacular as usual. Interesting. Well, I suspect
they may be, like your friend here is saying,
they could be transporting some sort of weapons
or some sort of creations. Oh, like the, like
the, oh, I was gonna call, I was gonna call her
a bayward, but I don't think she deserves that.
Oh, the bitch? Not, not the, not the Siofra.
Uh, I'm talking about the, the, um, Fur, Furbog?
Furbog? The witchy? The witch, yeah. The evil?
The evil witch? What was her name again? Lenora.
Glendora? Glendora. Glendora. Yeah. Glendora.
She... Maybe they're transporting some of that
shit over there, too. That's very wise of you
to say. Because she doesn't have to kill anything
first, really. Does the name Glendora mean anything
to you? It did. It did? I mean... Yes, she died
during the war. She's not dead. Well, I've heard
reports of creatures selling like her work. If
she were to be somewhere, where do you think
she would be? Um... Well, someone twisted like
her would want to go to a twisted place. Oh,
so like... The Mournlands? The Mournlands? Bingo!
Oh, goddammit. It warps your mind? Unless your
mind is strong. Thanks, Franklin. Maybe that
will explain why they're acting so weird. It's
a possibility. They look twisted. But... Just
short. What I want you guys to do is... Figure
out how to free the Orion family. Why are we
freeing a bunch of rich people? Because then
we get a large sum of money in return. Are we
guaranteed that? Well, they're a wealthy family.
I assume they're going to reward you kindly once
their minds are freed. Especially since I want
you to get one of those pieces of jewelry with
the pig. I mentioned to him about... how I saw
Alden talking to like a mysterious force on the
train and that it was speaking in abyssal. He
says abyssal, you say. Well, you get me one of
those rings that we think is controlling them.
Do you know the password? There is no password
yet. One of them did, the necklace did, is why
I'm asking. He thinks all of them have a password.
I assume it's a different item. I mean, if it's
attached to them, then it could be something
else. Would any one of them be less than the
others? Well, they are well -known figures. It
would be very suspicious to take one of them
out during this time of construction and, well,
They do have a lot of enemies now with how they're
clearing through these lands. There's not like
a second cousin that's given a somewhat important
job that no one really thinks about. So, we can't
kill any of them. But we have to free them from
something that they don't know that they're being
controlled by. The rings are stuck on there.
Do you know that for a fact? Have you tried pulling
one off? That's what Ciofer and Harun did. We
tried. Actually, I think I tried too. I believe
I was there for that. I think you were. Did you
do the mouse kid again, or did you just hop in?
I think I just saw you guys do it, but yeah.
I think you came in on Ciofer, didn't you? Yeah,
I believe I did, because I was a rat. Rat. You
guys tried, but you couldn't get it off. Yeah,
it didn't matter the amount of, like, physical
strength. It seemed like it was almost, like,
magically stuck. Well, I'm sure one of them won't
miss a finger or two. If we could, if we could,
uh, cauterize that wound right away, I think
we'll be okay. I mean, get me one of those rings
and... So how do you suppose we do this, though?
That's... You are the adventurers, right? Can
you point us into the direction of the closest
one? Or the least guarded one? Yes, actually.
I will... I swear to God, if he's that sharp.
Why don't you guys contact one of your friends
who's with one right now? Bitch! Bronson walks
through the door. No, at some point. Don't worry
about it. Don't worry about it, y 'all horrors.
And I pull out my backpack. And pull out my letters
to Remy. My dearest Remy. Can you have the train
pick us up ASAP? What's the time we're in? We
have to go a decent ways to get to the light
rail. Information broker, where's the nearest
train station from here? They haven't made it
out here yet. But, like, to the closest city.
Well, if you want the central hub, Charm would
be where you'd start. Charm? Yes. But what city
did we stop at? Oh, you guys are in... Fuck.
You know what I mean? The last stop. Because
that's where we got off. The last stop was in
Silver Flame, I think. Yeah, Silver Flame. I
think that's what it was. Yeah, Silver Flame
is also where we left. That's where we took the
cart with the goblins to the other town. They're
working on expanding. Where would be the closest
spot from us? I think it was Silverhorn, right?
Silvercliff. Silverflame? Goddamn, this is a
big -ass map. Tom Cruise? Yeah. Do you want me
to point out where it's at? I do remember where
it's at on the map. I just forget what the name
is. Yeah. It was Flanky, right? Flame Keep. That
sounds... Yeah, that sounds... Was the military
in Silver Keep? I think it was... That's the
religious one. Yeah, but that's also the military
city too. My dearest Remy, when do you think
the next train will be at Silver Keep? We plan
on boarding that train to get to possibly Sharn.
Get back to me ASAP. Tell Remy I said hi. Lasagna
scoffs a little bit. Because he's upset that
you know Remy. Franklin says he knows you. I
feel like you and the character are going to
be talking out loud too, is that right? Yes,
because Lasagna doesn't really know how to write,
so he has to talk out loud. Franklin says he
knows you, and he says hi. Goodbye. Love, Lasagna.
Alright, yeah. Send it off. Hopefully you can
get to one of them and figure this out. So are
they located in Charm? That's where the main
hub is, but as far as the Orion members, where
are they located? That's where their main houses
are, but they also have family that travels all
throughout. Oh, information broker, you're a
very strong man. Can't you just teleport us there?
For a price. Well, you've already sent the letter.
True. True. You can send another letter. Quick
question. You said the central hub is in Sharn,
but that would also imply that's the most heavily
guarded spot. Is there, like, a secondary location?
Or we could find a couple of them. Well, they
are traveling to make their arrangements, as
you see. We could just go on the train with them.
Oh, if we get on the train, maybe we'll find
one of them. Yeah, that's a good idea. If we're
in Sharn, and then riding that train around,
you have to imagine at some point we're going
to run into one of them. Right. Coming back home,
going out, whatever. Plus, I feel like trying
to get one of them alone is going to be a lot
easier on a train than it is inside of a city.
And if we luck out and get the one that he offers
with, then we'd have even more of an in. Yeah.
Frankie said before he took that job with the
train that whoever that guy in charge is, that
he's a real dumb piece of shit. Yeah. Literally
was just throwing money at Frankie. He wouldn't
believe it, Franklin. I would. You can't believe
how much people threw money at Frankie. Mazogna,
you have to understand, when it comes to fairy
folk, we don't come out very often, and when
we do, it is spectacular for most everyone else.
It makes a lot of sense that people would be
liking him so much. I've enjoyed it. I've never
heard Fae Folk described more in, like, a dancing
stripper sense. When they come out, people just
kind of hold it. They just throw lobs of money
at them. This is Sapphire. Did you get to the
strip club on South Park yet? The Winter Eladrim.
Sapphire. Hey, y 'all. Hi -Rez. Coming downstairs.
Is that Conan here? Because we're about to get
hot, hot, hot. Boom. Cheers to your summer form.
I've only been, well, ever since we started.
Oh, sorry. We got a little carried away. Yeah,
sorry, Information Broker. We got lost in the
fantasy. Yeah. Do they have strippers here, Information
Broker? The world can wait. Information broker,
what would you give us if we also take this quest?
Can you do me a favor, or I can procure you an
item? Favors are worth more than items. I don't
know, that dark magical sword looks pretty sick.
Do you think that you would really have access
to your evil sword? Why would you get the second
reward if you got most of the first? Because
we all could share the dark evil sword. We're
all going to hold this evil sword together. What
if it transcends us? Through the power of friendship.
Yes! Through the power of dark and evil, the
sword transcends. The brotherhood of the traveling
evil sword. The brotherhood of the traveling
sword. That's terrible. You know what, Nyx? You
might be on to something. I think that's probably
one of the worst ideas I've ever heard of you.
Maybe if we all hold on to it, we'll transform
like in Power Rangers. What's Power Rangers?
Not supposed to be. That's when you get a lot
of guys with my, um, abilities. Yes, that's,
yeah. That's right, they were the Power Rangers.
I was a part of the fifth Power Ranger unit.
Oh, yeah. I hate you so much, Gonzo. Yeah, were
you the yellow one? The fact that we can't, like,
take out one of these Orion family members really
throws a wrench in the whole no survivors kind
of motto. Yeah. Well, I mean, I think the no
survivors is your motto. Excuse me. Have you
looked at your little guy here? Unfortunately,
yes. It's his motto. Unfortunately, I overlook
him a few times. I would like to point out I
want to leave someone alive at least every time
to get my story out there. But he ends up dying.
I want to lose one survivor every fight. I will
give you that. Get my story out there. I'm trying
to get exposed. Well, I didn't pay too well.
Nix, you should really invest in some healing
skills if you want to hold it to that. I'm looking
for exposure, guys. Someday, I'm gonna be a star.
I am a star. I radiate so much energy that you
guys don't even need to be stars. I'm a hero.
We're all heroes. He wants to become a cryptid.
I walk into a town and everyone knows my name.
What sort of items can you procure for one and
how much would it cost for a quick little zap
over to Sharn? What if we take them by the train?
Because that would probably be easier than trying
to get them in the city. But we'd have to travel
quite a ways to back to the end of the rail line.
That's true. Can your letters work for Seafro?
Or only Remy? It's Remy giving me these papers.
He did some type of magic to them. I don't know
how it works. Is it instant? I don't know if
it's instant, but it turns into a bird and then
goes away. I don't know how fast it goes. Yeah,
quick, write out, never mind. But yeah, what
cost would be associated with sending us to Sharn?
Entertain other options. Yeah, I mean, what is
the cost? Just throwing the number out there.
You'll just owe me a favor. We're absolutely
not teleporting ourselves. Yeah, because like...
Yeah, but if we do this and you owe us a favor,
we owe you a favor, how does that... That's only
if you get the job done. There's no if with us,
you know that. We always see it through to completion.
Yeah, and also I don't want to do that because
then we're going to have to do a poll. You guys
can do whatever you want. In his mind, Franklin's
already in charge of this. Let's fucking go.
But let's not do that, because then if we owe
him a favor and he owes us a favor, well then
we have to do him a whole favor just to get teleported.
Guys, he probably just wants us to kill somebody.
What if I just owe you a favor? No, Harun, no.
Harun, you already owe Franklin favors. We don't
need a favor on favor. No Frankie flavors? Favors.
So which one of you is the leader of the group?
That's hilarious. I vote not Nick. Frankly, the
Knicks both raised their hands. I don't think
I even raised my hand. I just look at Nick and
scoff. For this one, I abstain my vote to Yoharis.
Yeah, I pick Yoharis. Thank you. This is not
a democracy! Just to humor everyone, because
Franklin was wondering, and frankly, so am I.
What items would you be able to procure if we
do not take the favor? In my magic bag, you can
pull something out of. We kind of already have
that. No, but my items. Oh. Plural? So, specific
to you. So I can let you close your eyes and
pick something. Oh. Or I can... You want something
specific. Old adage from the Feywild, don't reach
into bags with your eyes closed. You never know
what you're gonna get. You never know what you're
gonna get. When I was a wee lad of about 80...
When I was... I reached into a bag with my eyes
closed and... Well, sure enough, an entire alpaca
came out. Oh. Alpaca what? I will. And then a
real long -necked sheep came out. Was this a
dream? I've heard of those. You count them, I
think, right? Yeah. Do you know what dreaming
is? I've heard of it. I mean, people have talked
about it. What are dreams? All right, then it
seems If no one has any objections from group,
we're gonna go ahead and take that favor And
store that in our back pocket for some time,
but I assume we can also choose at the time right
came down to just as a backup Maybe in your mind.
All right, cool. Well, I mean he's your leader,
right? Nix is violently shaking his head He might
not be seeing this. I can feel it. Well, I'll
owe you that favor. And he says, you get me that
item. You find more information out. And... Especially
since we no longer have Frankie. So does everyone
but me. I like to think Frankie would float above
the comic strip. Exactly. So it was always just
me at the bottom of the strip. Whatever they
say next, it's Frankie's bottom half. Everybody's
waist. You can see some shoe shots. I feel like
we're a little bit north of that. I feel like
we're... Yeah, see, the only way down through
the south, the shorter route, is through Moorland.
Well, we gotta basically go up north to Karnath
there. I think that's sort of where we came out,
right? Yeah. Karnath and then a little bit east
or west of that. Yeah, and then we take the south.
There's like a lake there. Southwestern portion.
Yeah, we took a boat across, I remember that.
Flame Keep. It was across a river. Well, didn't
we need to go through the Moorlands anyway to
get whatever her face is? Skin book lady? You
remember why people don't go there, right? Yeah.
Nick's does not. He's got that goldfish. Well,
Nick was there during the time, but he's also...
Well, there's, um... You know all that energy...
Forgot Elvish. You did forget Elvish. Remember
all that energy that was being used, all that
negative energy during the big old conflict?
Yeah. Yeah, well, imagine every single bad spell
that happens during the entire shindig, and now
infuse it into the flora and fauna... And now
it's trying to kill you all the time and constantly
changing and fighting itself in anything that
it sees. You remember the stuff that happened
to Franklin? Or Frankie, not Franklin, sorry.
Yeah. That bad energy? That's going to happen
all the time if we go there. Okay. I think maybe
soon because I do want to kill that evil witch
lady though. We did say that we would do that.
I'm going to kill her. I would like to do that.
But, yeah, I say we get this information broker.
Thank you. Do we have any other questions for
him? Travel -wise, what's our plan right now?
We've got to get a move on quickly. So, not going
to do anything for the information broker? We're
just going to go back up and over and down? Yeah.
Okay. Well, I mean, he doesn't want money. For
the train for the teleport No, he just wants
a favor or a man like this a favor. I'm not I'm
not knowing him a favor Look at the information
broker and say I Have any more information though
about the Goliaths and the halflings in this
area And the Goliaths align themselves with the
Emerald Claw Well, that much we do know. Yes,
and then some of the Halfling tribes during the
war, some of them signed it with the Emerald
Clause, some of them didn't, so it could be those
contingents that are still mad about the results
of the war. And have you heard anything at all
about a Goliath with a black magic sword? There's
rumors. Do you have a name? Give it to you. Give
what to me? You already know it. The what? The
sword? The name. Oh, the name. I mean, I don't
know the name. I look at the crowd and I'm like,
you better not. You remember the leader of the
Spaticus clan? Oh, uh... Chad. Is it Chad? You
remember. Brad? Chad. Chad. Chad. Chadicus is
the leader. Chad, yeah. Chad. Chad is like the
leader. And then you have like Brad. And then
there's Thad. Uh, they're sad as well. Uh, it's
a very interesting name. What if Thad died? If
Thad did die, yes. RIP. R .I .P. Alright, well
now we have some names to go off of for that
target. Well, if we're traveling up that way,
is there anything that needs doing along the
way? Otherwise we're just gonna be like a few,
like a week or two? Travel up that way? Potentially
less than that, just to get up north. Maybe four
days. But we will be passing by that same village,
I believe, where the witch had been operating
out of. That is true. If she hadn't retreated
deep into the moorlands yet, then maybe she's
still lurking around in that area. We might be
able to... Get her dealt with. Yeah, we never
finished that. We had the idea she might try
to follow us, but she didn't. Yeah. I wish I
had a spell that could get us there faster. We're
not quite there yet. You gave me that ring for
the Orion. And then I'll use that favor for it
later. How do we get it off? Well, it's up to
us apparently. Well, it depends on what jewelry
it is. Does the Orion plan have any holdings
out here in the plains or in Karnath? Well, they're
trying to expand into it right now. Right, but
do they have any locations that they're marking
out, territory they're carving out yet? Yeah,
that's what the initiative was for. Do you know
where that's at? Where they're basing that on?
The same town that we saw Harun's sister is the
same town that they rolled up in in a fancy carriage
and they had the meeting to try to expand there.
Wasn't that all Sharn? That was not Sharn. Sharn
is the city where we all met each other. Oh.
That's what it is. That's where the Orion family
lives. That's where we saw the vampires and found
the Orion crest. Yes. And then Orion put us on
a train and sent us out here to deal with...
Yes, yes. Yes. I remember now. But I do like
where Franklin's going because they have a...
If they're doing work out here, it's safe to
say there should be at least one overseeing that.
That's what I was just saying. If we can get
to a train, just to a train, you know, we'll
at least be able to find some of them. I think
if we go back up north, we'll be able to find
a train. So I say we move out as soon as possible.
Do we need any supplies? Go through the supplies
real quick. I think we'll be good. We'll find
some rice. You know, I've never been to this
city before. As soon as we get out of here, we
need to find something good and local. So we
go to the bar again? Okay, so I was curious because
sometimes Frankie talks to me. You know, can
be a care with me. Left letters and whatnot.
Do you guys really go to the bar that often?
As he said, I thought he was making a joke because
he's constantly... There was no exaggeration
in anything that he put, and I can assure you
of this. I don't know what he said, but I believe
every word to be truthful. You want to see why
they call Nix the two -time champion? He got
that belt for a reason. Yeah, my belt clashes
with my armor, but I'm not taking it off. So
it's still evening, right? Should we just long
rest here at the town and then move out in the
morning? I'd say so. Sure. One last question.
Do you have any idea of where currently any of
the Orion family is or their plans on moving
to another spot if they're about to be leaving?
They're usually pretty guarded. Most of their
trains have magic. I'm not sure if you've noticed.
No, I'm aware. I just want to know if one is
currently in a city or about to move out of a
location. Most likely, Sean would have them.
That's usually what they're based out of. But,
they are working on expanding. You do remember
your friend was with them. That's why I'm asking
if any were out here. All right. I am I get it.
You don't know All right. Well, I think we'll
be leaving now Everybody follow your glorious
leader To the bar Nixon merely search right in
the moment. He says follow the leader. I run
out the building. Yeah You're about to get to
the door and you see Nick's cuz we try to barge
through you It's like open the door first and
get out eager aren't we? I'm the leader So I'd
stay behind like a little bit and kind of kick
the ground a little bit casually and be like,
so can you do the thing? Like as everybody else
is gone, I'm like, can I pull you? And why don't
you do the jumping thing? I'm getting a phone
call. Pardon me. No problem. He says, goodbye
Haroon. And then you're falling from 60 feet
in the air above them. It's also not as scary
because I have slow fall. Yeah, you guys are
walking and Harun... You guys all stepped out,
but Harun isn't there. And you kind of hear him
look up. Does Nyx even care? I know. Harun's
just like... It's like stepping down stairs as
he's slowly coming down. We better help Nix out.
He's been away from a bar for at least 24 hours.
Oh, Nix knows the way to a bar. He can just smell
it. Cartoon characters following the pie smell.
He's got the shakes. I don't even think he needs
to roll a perception check for that either. It's
like a ranger kind of thing, but with bars. Do
you want to see him in a drinking contest, Franklin?
No, not really. You should try. He hasn't lost.
No, I don't really like to play little games
like that. I've never lost in anything, so, you
know. Well, you can't lose if you don't try.
You can't lose if the other person doesn't finish
the competition, you know what I'm saying? I
cast sleep. I cast dead. Oh yeah, that reminds
me of my early days casting sleep. Oh my god,
sorry, I just did a level one spell, I'm sorry.
That's alright, I mean some of us can cast higher,
so don't worry. So Gonzo, as I fell, I can reduce
it by 40 feet, which leaves 20, and so I took
the opportunity to do a deck saving throw, which
was at least 19. So I don't know if you'd say
that passes, but if I pass, I take no damage.
No, you're fine. Yeah, you're up. 26 per 10 feet,
let's go. This is where they were landing. Yeah,
you see him, like, kind of like... And roll me
an acrobatics, too. See if you can, like... Acrobatics?
Yeah. How cool it is. That one. I want that one.
I want him to, like, land head first and his
body completely straight. It's kind of mechanical.
She's like... You said acrobatics? Yeah. Oh,
that's not bad. Uh, 16. Yeah, so you, uh, you
see him kind of, like, do his little walk in
the air, and he gets 20 feet. You see him do,
like, a flip, and, like, he looks like he's about
to crash, but he kind of just rolls up and just
kind of pops up, and he's just like, as he kind
of just rolls out of it. Yeah, he did it! My
mouth is agape. You're like, you're just looking
at the door for Haroon's. You said earlier that
this city is kind of like, is it like a shanty
town or what? There are buildings, but most of
the, this is just where a lot of people who live
in the place come through. So everything's kind
of like either tents or old buildings. Gotcha.
Is there like a less well -kept, shadier side
of town of this settlement? I think you're gonna
have to convince Nix to detour from the bar.
He can do what he wants to do. Shady shit, that's
also Nix's vibe. Yeah. Does the bar happen to
have an end to? I mean, yeah, probably. How much
was I able to see from the sky? That was falling.
You weren't paying attention to falling. He's
hitting that walk real hard. He's focused. He's
like, I can't look a good bitch in front of my
friends. I'm actually going to go and find a
market or a bazaar of sorts. Yeah, go ahead and
check. What was your question again, Ben? If
there's just like a shady, like seedy part of
town, you know, where the not so public... We'll
make a history check, see if you know anything
about this place. Natural 20. Natural 1. 17.
Yeah, so you know that this is a place where
there's a lot of trading that goes in and out,
so you figured if you talk to probably the right
vendor, someone might be able to get something.
Because there's a lot of goods that come in and
out of here, all kinds of traders. Okay. Yeah,
you see... Where people are coming with, like,
their goods, and you smell what is, like, cooking
meat, and you're just like, yep, there it is.
As you see, you guys are kind of looking around,
and Yoharis is, like, over there, and you just
start walking. I think we should all go shopping
with Yoharis. I'm going to lean into Nick's,
like, real close to Nick and be like... You want
to shake down some people? Yes. We just got to
follow Joharis for a little bit. I fall back.
I'm like, I'm so down. His family's kind of cool
sometimes. And I'm going to turn to the rest
of the party and say, see, I just asked him if
he didn't want to go to the bar now. He said
no. So we're good. Let's go, Joharis. All right.
Sounds good to me. What a great influence. He's
helping coalesce anger. I'm giving him a productive
outlet. Choose life, as they say. It's like,
yeah, instead of beating up on kids, we're going
to put him in football. I'm just saying, if there's
a monster that's not going to stop attacking
people, is it better to constantly try to be
like, no, that's bad, or just to point it at
the things you want taken care of? Yeah. The
Hulk tactic. Yeah. I'm just going to aim you
a little bit. And that'll let you go. So I'm
looking specifically with my natural 20 for those
sweet old herbs and spices. Yeah. You smelled
this stall with like a they have like a this
looks like a spear or something through like
this big thing of meat that's just spinning over
an open fire. I heard of that. I think it looks
like a rotisserie. Rotisserie. Rotisserie. I'm
sure he'll let you know eventually. Now, with
the way that that thing is skewered, I think
that means two things coming from you. No, no,
Remy's going to teach him how to spit roast later.
That's an advanced cooking term. Well, Zagna,
I think I was right. I think that was his way
of confirming that. I'm okay with it. It's fine.
What's this? Open your mouth and let me show
you. Oh, no, don't. I'm not actually open. I
have a mouth, right? Yeah. Yeah, I'd imagine.
It's like, ah. No, don't. Next, he opened his
mouth. Range detect. Yeah, no, I'm doing it.
Yeah, all right. Yeah, he's doing his mouth.
Yeah, he's spitting in your mouth. Can I try
to dodge it? That's the range detect. I know,
but I don't know what he's... He said, let me
show you, and then he, like, did something. I'm
not, like, ranging it. I'm, like, up close. Yeah,
he's spitting in your mouth. Edit that out. What
did you do? No, that's a bit. It came out of
you. Yeah, but you make it. But you can't. You
all have that? I don't want this to happen. I'm
going somewhere else. You know, Harun. And I
pat you on the back, I say, some people really
like this. And then I just walk away. I don't
know how to feel. I don't have the emotion for
this yet. I haven't gotten to the latest update.
Feeling not found. And I thought you were in
the stream. We don't kickchame in this house.
Rebooting. Blue screen, blue screen. He's like,
Haroon, when I was... Like, now Lorenz, what
a kink is. Kink shaving is my thing. Oh, no.
Kink shaving is my kink. That's so funny. Just
like, oh, yeah, you little freak. You like that,
bro? Yeah, yeah. You fucking disgust me, you
little bitch. That's not a degradation. Jalen
knows. Unfortunately, yeah. Hey, man. You are
what you want, you know? So you do you. You are
what you eat. Don't be spit. That's why I eat
pork all the time. That's why people call me
an asshole. He likes the truffle butter. Ain't
nothing wrong with it. There should not be a
truffle funk coming at you, asshole. Yeah, don't
Google that. I'm going to turn to the trainer
and be like, I'm so sorry, man. Do you have truffle
butter for sale? I heard it's really good. I
turned back around because I was kind of walking
away. Do you have truffles, actually? Uh, no.
Do you know where I can find truffles? I don't
know. They don't grow in this environment often.
It's like a forest thing, I think. Predominantly,
yes, but that doesn't mean that you can't import
things. I'm looking for spices. I'm looking to
make a great healing elixir. He sounds so suspicious.
I promise, sir. He's not making a date right
now, despite how suspicious he sounds. Do you
want some of the meat I'm selling? Well, I would
like to try it, actually. He would love to try
your meat. And so would you. Yeah. All right.
Do you have some type of bread or something to...
uh, like, make this, like, put it in or something.
And he pulls out, uh, a bowl of rice. A bowl
of rice? Yeah. Hmm. You don't really have much
rice, but he pulls out rice. Pulls out some rice.
You have grain. I know, that's what I was about
to sell him on, is this, is the five pound bag
he's going to make. Let me show you grain, good
sir. How does, this meat text uh he gives you
a sample and it's just has has a spice you haven't
tried before and has like a really good flavor
to it has like a weird color to it like real
like weird like orangey color to it is this turmeric
i had a feeling it might be or curry tastes like
dirt the turmeric does turmeric is i put that
shit on everything I looked right past you and
I saw Will's face. I saw Will's face. Because
I was like, you put turmeric on everything? Like,
out of character, myself as the man, yes. I have
that shit coming out of my ears at home. It is,
like, insane. I would hate to be in that house.
That house smells like turmeric. Smells like
victory. Anyway. I thought you were about to
say, so we hung up. I was like, dang! Yeah, I
was going to say, we're not going in that direction.
Yeah, we're not sponsored by Cousin Fuckin'.
They tried, they really tried. But we had to
say, every single time, five times we had to
say no. Yeah, Ancestry .com. There's a reason
why it's not that comfortable in the South to
go on there. If we can say no to the dating site,
what do you mean? Stop. Stop. Stop. There it
is. Back in character. Sir, what are you going
to season this meat with? It's very interesting.
I've never had anything like it before. He says
that's a family secret. Does he do that with
his hands that you just did? You sell the seasoning.
I can tell you where I get the herbs. I would
love to know where the herbs are gotten. You
see that guy over there with the herb cart? Well,
son of a bitch. Alright, I go over to the herb
cart. He's like, do you want to buy more meat?
I'll take a little bit of slab of meat. I'm going
to put a gold down for real. Alright, he gives
you a big bowl of rice with meat on it. Do you
know... I'll take it in a bag to go. Do you know
anyone around here who's selling things that
are a little frowned upon? There isn't very much
frowned upon here. Well, you're one who caters
to the, I don't know, less public characters.
I mean, go to the weapon shops. There's always
shady people going in and out of those. I usually
don't go in places like that. Nick's Weapon Shop?
Yeah. You sell dried meat. Oh, yes, I do. Give
me some. Do you eat meat? Do you? Yes. Okay,
then. How much dried meat would you want? How
much is it? Um... He's never gotten this far.
He says, uh, well... He orders a bottle worth
of alcohol. I could give you a pound for two
gold. It takes a while to age it. Do you have
two pounds? Yes. I will give you four gold. Oh,
okay. Good math. He gives you this burlap sack
of just dried meat. Nice. Is there a magic shop
nearby? Perception check. Sure, sir. We can ask
at the weapon shop we're going to. Also, I had
to put gold down to get some more meat. If it
happens to be nearby. Just the one that he was
making. Oh, yeah, yeah. So you got a big, like
a big -ass bowl. At least you can feed maybe
a couple people. Oh, so it'll get me through
the rest of the day. Yeah, so you see, like,
he's like, oh, it's so nice of you to get that
much to share with your friends. Yeah. And then
I go over to the herb shop. And you see as he's
walking, he's just plowing through this thing.
Truthfully inhaling. I go to the weapon. I'll
go to the weapons with that. Just a quick stop.
Ben and Nick's herb. Excuse me? Franklin and
Nick's. It's fucking excuse me? I mean Franklin
and Jack's. Oh, sorry. He called it by his government
name. I can't shame. You detonate me, bro? Oh,
dude. What's up? He cashed. Calm deep, B. How
deep is it? Yeah. Yeah, so you guys are going
to the weapon shop. You're going to the herb
shop while they're doing this. No, I'm going
to go to the weapons. All right, you're going
to the herb shop. Yeah. Cool. Weapons. I need
those herbs and spices. All right, yeah, so you
guys are going to the weapon shop. There's, um...
There's a big tent. It just says weapons with
a sword across it. Oh, nice. That's my kind of
shop right there. Clear. To the point. Outside
of it, there's two guards. Right before we walk
in, I'm going to do the classic dad move and
then give Nick's little nudge and be like, hey,
you see them? Don't get any smart ideas while
we're in here, alright? Dick, you never dream
of taking me. Arun leans over to Nick's they're
too weak not worth your time yes good job guys
alright so you guys go in there and there's a
there's a small little dwarf kind of just he's
puffing on like a half of a cigar kind of just
running around and he just says hello Is there
anybody else in the story now? Yeah, there's
another, like, looks like another halfling, and
there's an elf looking at some other stuff, but
they're kind of just... I'm going to look at
them and say, hey, give us a story real quick.
Is that intimidation? Oh, yeah. Can I help with
that? Yeah, you can help with that. How are you
helping? Um... Not very intimidating. I will
just puff up my chest and like look very stern
at some people. Because I am still very red.
Go ahead and perform and see how well you perform
this. Can I do intimidation? Yeah, actually,
do you want to give him advantage? You're probably
better at it, huh? Yeah, I'll give him advantage.
I'll say, give us the room and then I'll tap
next and be like, fuck him up. Or, you know,
not fuck him up, but mentally fuck him up. Mentally.
Knicks go. Kill them. Plus, it's 14 plus 18.
18, yeah. They're kind of just like, it's like,
okay. They just like walk out and they're just
like, what? And he's here under the breath of
an asshole. You are what you eat. To some people,
some people like it. That's why everybody listening
to this has a rich backstory. I was really expecting
you to say he has a rich asshole. No, he's very
multifaceted. He drinks, he eats ass. He does
it all, baby. He fights. You know what? After
staring death in the face, he's like, you know
what? Eating ass ain't nothing. He's like, I
fought a war. I ain't scared of anything. That's
the lie. This is such an emergent storytelling
kind of thing. I always wanted to know what D
&D characters we asked. No, you and Nick for
sure ain't scared. He can throw you in a high
floor, yeah. 100%. Yeah, oh, 100%. That's why
he likes a tall elf woman, because he can just
walk up and just do, bam, face after, yeah. Don't
keep talking. That's true. I'm hearing this patnick
on the back of my face. You just scare him and
say, I got it. He just kind of laughs like, oh,
you got one of those. Like I'm gonna get out
I'm a good guy. You have this. You're decked
out in your armor with the horns. You got the
title belt. Your sword's like the size of you.
It's on your back, but it's pretty much almost
dragging you. I'm here to eat ass and chew bubblegum,
and I'm all out of bubblegum. Alright, Franklin.
I'm here to eat ass and chew gum, and your gum
looks like ass. Hey, shopkeeper. How's he looking?
He just, he kind of just shuffled around. He
just says like, oh, you wanted those guys? All
right, what do you? With his eyes open. Just
looking for a little information. That's all.
Oh, I thought he wanted some other kind of goods.
Maybe those two. Yeah. And he just says, all
right, come on. And he kind of just walks you
over to like a table and he like pulls, from
underneath he pulls out like a case as he, um.
He pops up in a case full of, like, daggers.
Yeah, I lean over the table. I grab the cigar
out of his mouth and put it in my mouth. I start
looking through his shit. He just looks at you,
just like... I blow some smoke in his face. Settle
down. You've got bronchitis, so congratulations.
He grabs the bag in your mouth. He's like, the
disrespect. I'm going to try to dodge it if he
tries that. That's the wise thing now. He's gonna
try to swipe it back. I don't know what you want
me to roll here. Roll me a dex. Ah, shit. That's
gonna be a six. Oh my god, he rolled an eight.
Wait, I used my inspiration. That's what I was
for! Alright, go ahead and roll again. Cool,
that's a sixteen. Yeah, you're tall. Yeah, because
obviously before he swipes for it, I just kind
of lean this way out of his way and then I keep
going. So about that information we need. What
information? You heard anything lately about
the Orion Clan? About anything, their projects
they got going on around here? Yeah, the assholes
are trying to get rid of my cousin's farm. Where's
that? He lives up there, Corinth. cars that's
the city where they were at before I don't remember
the place you guys have traveled to already so
oh the car not the hole yeah he had a farm out
there I think that was like when we first got
off the train no no that's like the Karnath is
where the Haroon's sister was that. Okay, okay.
Okay. Do you know what kind of project they got
going on up here? I know they're working on expanding
their railways for the consumers, but no one
can afford to go on those rich fucks. Okay. You
guys have anything? Yeah, where's the closest
magic shop? I mean, you can look at some of the
other traders, we kind of just get what we get.
What did he set up on the table now? Oh, there's
some daggers in there. So right now he just has
daggers out there. Those regular daggers? No,
the blades are kind of twisted and curved. These
pack a little bit of a bite. Is there anyone
with, like, a chain on it? The problem is going
to get my dagger. You want a fucking Kratos dagger?
He has four poison daggers. Well, I'd be like,
uh... you have anything else poison's not really
my thing and i'm just gonna uh can i so i have
green flame blade i don't want to actually like
use it use it can i just have my sword light
up like as a cantrip like just light up with
the green flame for a second just like oh you're
trying to make it look like you're i just try
to like not that i can use it and then just have
my sword like light on green fire for a second
and then go away oh you just want to kind of
like show off flex on them yeah okay He just
looks at you and just says, do you want a clap,
a round of applause? Yeah, get to it. He's like,
alright, well, uh... So you don't think the magic
shop has anything cool? Uh, I mean, those other
traders, they have potions, you can get other
sort of items. I got weapons and armor, and I
got other stuff people keep selling me, so...
Oh, it's just more like a magical ring or something
like that, that's all. I mean, you can ask them.
I don't deal with rings. You say they're outside?
Yeah, they're different vendors. Alright. He's
like, I also got these throwing stars. Someone
told me they're a little rare. Haroon would probably
be interested in that, but it seems he's in a
little bit of a sleep mode, so you're going to
have to give him like 25 seconds while we hold
the reset button while we try to get him going
again. We gotta reboot him. Yeah, we gotta reboot
him. Somebody, he gotta hold his ear in and his
eye at the same time. Can I borrow one of your
small tools? It's gotta go in a really small
slot. Like a caliper. You have a caliper in here?
I don't think calipers were made back then. Truthfully,
I don't even know what that is. Calipers are
something that's used to measure very precise
small measurements. Usually used for... I feel
like mainly used for ammo making. Because obviously
something like a bullet casing needs to be a
very specific caliber. But I think the cal originates
somewhere. That would make a lot of sense. Uh
-huh. Well, uh... How much are all the throne
stars? Um... Well, I have about 20 of them, I
would say. 20 gold for them. Total? Yeah. Okay,
I'll pay for them. For how many? There's 20 of
them. 20? Yeah, I'll pay it. I could see Nyx
having fun with those. Or giving them to her.
Probably giving them to her. I would keep two
to myself just to try. I was going to say, while
he's running and raging at somebody, he throws
some ninja stars out at somebody. I'm going to
take a scar out of my mouth and kind of wave
it around a little bit and be like, is there
anything else we want from here? Yeah, I got
arrows, video arrows. I got some special arrows.
Um... It depends on what you're trying to spend.
I got these. It pulls out another case, and they,
um... Have what looks like some sort of, like,
um... Weird, like, stuff on them. It's like some
sort of mixture, um... And some sort of, like,
paper wrapped around it. Um... Oh, are you...
Are you talking about, like, a napalm substance
right now? He has insinuating errors. Okay. Hey,
kids, want to make napalm? It's very easy. I'm
not going to say it now because that might be
bad for us, but it's very easy. Yeah, that's
just styrofoam and gasoline. Sponsored. That
shit's on the internet, dude. Yeah, you just
Google that. Well, yeah. Dude, I just remember
the episode of King of the Hill where he's like,
you make bleach and ammonia for extra cleaning
power. Fuck yeah, do it, do it. Peggy, you just
made mustard gas. Which is true, she did. Yeah,
what do you mean? It's extra clean because both
of them combined. Combined into one, it makes
a super clean... It's like an ultra clean...
So clean, breathe it in. You can't really appreciate
it for too long, but... Dude, it'll be the cleanest
thing that you'll see for the rest of your life.
It'll clean your lungs. Ooh, yes it will. Anyways,
uh... I want to sell my medium armor, my breastplate,
my old one, to this guy while I'm here. So however
much I can sell a breastplate for. I'll say 10
gold. That's probably good. That's very expensive,
dude. I was like, my cost is 400. Oh, never mind.
Sorry. I was just throwing a number out there.
Some pawn stores. 10 gold, best I could do. He
says, are you trading for the arrows or do you
want gold? So, how many arrows you got? I have
25 arrows. Are those the only arrows you got?
Oh, he's not here. He's not here. He's the only
of that kind that I have. What other kinds of
arrows do you have? I have, as he pulls out,
these three really big arrows with what looks
like a rope attached to the end of it. Okay.
He's like, I have these for scaling and climbing
things. You got anything else? Well, I'll do
more arrows. This is what I got right now. Okay.
I'll take either throwing stars, all the arrows,
uh, for this, uh, armor. Uh, he said he looked
down. Wait, there were throwing stars? Yeah,
I bought them. Yeah, you weren't there for it.
I was like, we were like... You were in sleep
mode. I heard it's canon. Sorry. What? I was
there? Yeah, you come to... We have to hardly
sit. ...deep up your butthole. Yeah. And be buying
all the throwing stars to myself. Try to hit
that reset button. You weren't paying attention,
and then you saw, and then you hear... For throwing
stars, as Nyx is getting... So he hands you the
arrows. You wanted the three of them, right?
Yeah, I want the 25 fire arrows, the three rope
arrows, and the 20 throwing stars. He'll trade
you for the armor, and he'll just swap it. Cool.
He trades the dragon armor? No. I don't remember
before that. Fuck that armor. I don't need that
shit. Nick's heard throwing stars? It's like,
oh, here, have my magical armor. Lots of throwing
stars, please. Cool. Cool. That's off my inventory.
We all done here, then? Yeah, I think we're done
here. Yeah. I think we're good. I think we go
meet up with Horace, maybe, unless we have to
stop. So while I was going on, Horace, you get
to the... The stand as a... Yes. You see just
giant bags of just different colored spices and
powders. I am enthralled, bewitched, and otherwise
hard. I approach the person tending the shop,
the cart even. What does this person look like?
Looks like an elf. Looks kind of like an elf,
but not really. Looks like maybe I can also spend
a lot of time out in the sand, so. Man or woman?
It's a man. Ah, damn. All right. Ooh, thank you.
Uh... Oh, yeah. Thank you. Thank you very much.
I'm gonna ask the man running the stand. Do you
have anything, and I point to my massive bowl
of shaved meat and rice, do you have anything
that was used on this concoction earlier? And
he points to several of the different spices,
points towards an orange one, and a red one,
and then another brown one as well. I will take
one of each. And he says, how much would you
like? And I pull out one of my one of my vials
of paprika and I say just a little bit more than
this Three silver three silver is doable and
do you actually have any paprika as well? Yes,
I will take one of those now. What do I owe you?
All right, I give the man the four silver Uh,
it seems like you've been out here for a while.
Did you, uh, always live here, or where are you
from? Uh, here and there, just, you know. I like
the warm weather. I'm not really a huge fan of
the swamps anymore, so. Ah, I understand. Um,
down in Sharn or somewhere else? Somewhere else.
Understood. Well, I know it can be hard to adjust
to different climates, not exactly from around
here either, despite what it might appear. Well,
I know we don't see much of your kind around
here. Rarely. And truth be told I think it's
for the better that I left the fairy wild and
I know you didn't ask but no one does Actually,
I'm going to about face and come back and say
do you have any herbs? What do you know He was
just focused on spices. That is true. He went
spice blind. Spice blind and a bitch for real,
but I do pick up some of the herbs that I've
seen Lasagna cook with. Oh, right, yeah. So stuff
like garlic powder, onion powder, I feel like
he's used a lot of oregano. Yeah, so you just
give him five more grams and he's got like a
bunch of onion spices. I mean, not just the stuff.
Hell yeah. And now I leave. All right. Do we
meet up in the little town square? Yeah, so you're
walking out. What stuff did they have? I had
to go to the restroom. Did they have anything
else throwable, or was it just the stars? Oh,
he also had a bunch of poison daggers. Poison
daggers? Yeah. Nothing with a chain on it. I
already got a good dagger. On our way out...
I'm gonna take the cigar I took from him and
flick it off his forehead and then walk out I'm
just gonna stare at him like on my way out backing
up not even turning around I'm just gonna say
I appreciate you once we get out and I see Joharis
I'll call attention to everyone like team gather
gather And I'm going to get everyone's attention.
You know, as your great leader, I like to give
gifts to those who are beneath me. Like you,
Harun, with the throwing stars. You want throwing
stars, Harun? I mean, how quickly did you say
those? Because I did say I was going to go start
scouting. I would say pretty quickly. And I'd
probably do that like... Turned foot, like, on
the same foot, and then Lala started walking
back and just... What? Your Grateful Leader gives
you 18 throw -in stars. To the Horus, your Grateful
Leader gives you 25 incendiary arrows and 3 rope
arrows as your leader. Holy moly. Well, I mean,
in this instance, I'm actually going to... Sometimes
I'm a little hard on you because you're an asshole
and you deserve it, but honestly, I do cherish
the time that we get to spend together. Yes,
yes. I'm great to all my employees. Employee,
you fucking piece of shit. You're now my employee.
Check those ass -looking motherfuckers. And those
who do not have a gift yet, just know your time
shall come. Is it the same stats as a dart? Did
I? Who bought? No. The Throwing Stars? Damn.
Never mind. They're D4, right? It's okay, Nick.
I'll wait for mine next time. We'll say it's
a D6. Oh, you said 25. With 25, that's into your
arrows, right? Yeah. And three arrows that looks
like they can use, kind of like... Kind of like
a grapple. Yeah. Hell yeah. And they have, like,
a 50 -foot roger. Well, it's a grapple. What
do you do with your hands? Oh, yeah. Like, I
could grapple a Knicks. Like a grappling hook,
but an arrow. Yes. What's a grappling hook, Franklin?
I was saying it's out of character, by the way.
It's a hook. You throw it. It has some kind of
rope or line on it. It catches on something up
higher, more than likely, and you climb up it.
Let me know if you need help going back in later,
Big Hoss. I mean, sometimes you can ask Nix about
this. Sometimes I need a third hand. I mean,
I should probably see somebody about that. Hey,
Nix, talk about giving presents. Any other time
you want me to take you to school on how to keep
a shopkeep alive but still threaten, you can
look it up. They have to know about my brutality.
You gotta get the rep first and then the brutality
comes in. Because then there's a whole host of
people who are already talking. So we go on a
bed for the night then? Yeah. Yeah, um... Wait,
how late is it? It was already afternoon. It's
about, like, 8, 9 p .m. at night. Is there any
chance Haroon could set up his own stand that
has a sign that says, like, caricatures? A sketch
artist on the side? Yeah, just to see. Maybe
for, like, an hour to see if it comes up. Well,
like, this is, like, the market's kind of already
cleared off and it's dark. Damn it. Damn it.
Haroon still said I am Haroon, buddy. It's probably
too late. Maybe tomorrow. Can I spend like an
hour at the bar trying that? You could. Do you
guys want to go to the bar? Well, you said the
bar might have an inn. Yeah, you guys haven't
really looked for an inn yet. I would look for
the inn. Yeah, see you guys go to the bar and
there is an inn next to the bar. You guys are
just kind of bar crazy. You know what? Surprisingly
enough, Nix is going to go to bed without going
to the bar. Nix, you are... You know what, Nix?
I'm going to buy your hotel room. You're in a
room for the night. How about that? Oh, my God.
Thank you. You know, I'm really working on my
alcoholism, so I'm just going to try to stay
clear of that spot tonight. Yeah, I was about
to go pro. Really, I was going to offer you a
bottle because you were going to stay in for
the night. Yeah, no, it's okay. It's okay, guys.
I know you guys wanted me to work on my drinking.
Nobody picked up on that pun. Just Mark and I
just looked at each other. God. Yeah, I think
I'll have my own room tonight, though. Alright,
I'll pay for that. Thank you, thank you. I really
appreciate that. Inside shit. He said, have his
own room tonight. It's a check. How many rooms
do we want? Oh, come on. Have you tried to see
him? We'll find out after I roll. I'm telling
the truth about wanting my own room tonight.
Yeah? Let's see. What kind of roll is this? I
have 17 plus whatever. What kind of roll is this?
It's a salmon roll. This is the exception. Okay,
because I am telling the truth about wanting
my own room. Why I want my own room. I'm trying
to figure out why he wants his own room. You're
trying to be deceitful about like... I can be
more cost effective if I... I got dirty 20. Have
you what? Have you bunked up? I felt bunked up
with Nix. Have you bunked up with Nix? Yeah,
I mean, shit. There's already two of you or three
of you in this other room, potentially, right?
Okay, so what happens there? He said he got 18.
I got dirty 20. Something's off about Nix. You're
like, hmm... Yeah, sorry, man. The room's not
in the cards tonight. No, it's okay. I'll pay
for it. I'll pay for it. That's all right. I'll
bump with you anyway. It's okay. I'll find a
way in the room. Yeah, no worries, man. It's
okay. It's okay. You know what? I can sleep outside
your door so you can be alone all night. Fuck.
In peep. Two rooms, please. No! Two gold, sold.
Nick signs up, I like to be the little spoon.
Now, in -keep, is one room bigger than the other?
It's about the same size. Now, would you consider
one to be the honeymoon suite? Which one has
the cock chair? That's not in character, by the
way. Does that mean I go to sleep? Nick eats
ass. really into king shaming people alright
dude's on the bed dude's on the bed and I run
up I throw the other key on the ground and I
run up to the room so I can get the only bed
I don't really care about a bed I mean not as
big of a rush because I was really hyped to have
my own room that's alright someday you'll grow
up he'll have you I do go to the bar and try
that thing for like an hour the caricature thing,
see if anybody comes up. And I'll put examples
of my other drawings, like, on the, like, nearby.
All right, um, how are we performing? Is it performance?
Yep. Is it performance this time? It's overall
how we perform while you're doing it. That's
not fair. I don't have charisma. It's not even
intended. Oh, 19. Oh, nice. It's not fair. Hey,
wait a minute. It was destined. As foretold in
the scrolls. It was written. Lisa, I'll get you.
So you've got, um, seven people. Seven people?
Seven people stopped to get, um, to get caricatures.
Now, I gotta know, are you doing, like, the silly
ones where you give people, like, big teeth or
big eyes? I think I'm asking them beforehand
if they want their image distorted. If they say
yes, then, yeah, I'm, like, giving them, like,
balloon heads almost. Uh, if not, then I'm just
gonna draw them as realistic way as I can. Nice.
All right, yeah, so you got, um... I was hoping
to charge, like, five silver. I feel like that's
low. Like, five silver drawing. Yeah, so you
got... 35 silver, so... Nice, nice, nice. Are
we all, uh, heading over to bed then? Yeah. Yeah.
So... While I'm in bed... I'm gonna think to
myself of how I'm in good gracious with my God.
And then I am going to call upon my God using
my one time free use of divine intervention.
Oh shit. And I would like to call upon shit.
What was my goddess's name? Fuck. Fuck. Oh shit,
she's not going to answer if you don't know.
Wasn't it Eldath? No, no. No, you follow Eldath,
but I follow Araway. I don't follow Eldath. No,
Eldath is with my character. That's it. Yeah,
I, my, Yulaharis directly follows Coralon. Coralon.
Because it's like, you know, I'm his son, as
we all are. Uh, I call upon my goddess, Araway.
Yeah! Where's Shasta? So what are you trying
to get with your divine intervention? I would
like to ask some questions tomorrow. Well, AD100,
you're trying to get below 10%. No, no, you said
I get one free use. Yeah, so that means that
it doesn't, so when you get one free use, you
still have to roll for it. I don't remember that.
I remember it was like you just let me do it.
No, no, you still have to roll for it. God. So
you only get to use it. Like, once per... Save
it for when you have inspiration. But, so, then
my question to you is, if I don't get it, would
I be able to use it again? You can use your regular
one. I don't have a regular one. Yeah, you gave
it to him because he didn't have that spell.
The regular one comes up at 10th level. Yeah.
Oh, yeah, so this is just one thing. So, yeah,
you still have to roll for it, but you don't
have the ability to do it, but this is just one
type of thing. You get the option to do it. Here
you go. roll percentile die. If you roll a number
equal to or lower than your cleric level, your
deity intervenes. That's why it's at level 10,
because then you roll just the percentile die,
and if you roll a 10 on the percentile, then
it happens. It's like a very low chance of it
happening. So my question to you is then, is
if it doesn't work, do I still get it? You know
what I mean? Is it wasted? If I fail, is it wasted?
No, yeah, it's wasted. Because you have to try,
so you still have to try to be able to connect
to it, so. But you just have, you just have this
one time you used to be able to do it. Well,
damn. Um, never mind, because I was interpreting
the rules differently. Can you roll a d20 if
it's under eight? It's good. Oh, no, I was trying
to use my Divine Intervention to ask questions,
but it didn't work. But Gonzo doesn't like questions.
He doesn't like questions. Well, no, because,
sorry, I think it was just the way that I interpreted
it was just different. When you said one free
use, I interpreted it as... You don't get it
until way later. Right, right, right. But it
didn't occur to me that you would still want
me to roll for it. So that's my bad on interpreting
it wrong. I think it's a low chance because Divine
Intervention is like straight up your deity comes
and like... just answers like a prayer question
but like makes shit happen oh yeah no it's for
for sure for sure that's why i was just like
you know if it's just like one for you so i might
as well just like you know ask some questions
because uh i have i'm still worried about some
things divine intervention level up level up
but i mean so it would not have augury no Do
you have a level in Cleric? I do have a level
in Cleric. You don't have enough levels in Cleric
to dominate. Yeah, I'm only like two levels in
Cleric, so that is a two out of a hundred percent
chance. I mean... Or would you at least let him
if it was a ten and below? And it's just the
percentile dice, it's not like a D100, so it's
literally just like a D10. Yeah, but I only have
two levels in Cleric. Right. Oh, I see. So I
would be rolling the D100. I'm trying to get
below two. I mean, I would allow you to do your
total level, which is... Oh, I mean... It's still
low chance, but... It's okay. I'll save it for
an actual Divine Intervention moment, but I will
save it. Normally, you do Divine Intervention
and you don't roll it, you do lose it. No, normally
it goes away and you get to try again and try
again then well if it happens that you try it
You can do it again in seven days But I think
if it doesn't happen you can try to get into
the next dog. Oh, yeah Otherwise you can use
it again after you finish the long rest. Oh,
yeah So 20th level is where you cheat you recall
20 full clerk. It just it just happens. Yeah
But that's like when everybody's a god, so it
doesn't even matter. And you need like a full
20 in the cleric. That's true. But, nah, it's
okay. It's all good. No big deal. Okay, so you
guys are taking your rest. Are you gonna... You're
gonna post up outside the room? Um, I was thinking
about it. Yeah, if the people won't be upset.
Like that I'm just chilling, but I'm gonna just
chill outside the room. They kind of look at
you funny in the face and they say, are you gonna
stay in the room, or are you... Do I have to?
Uh, no, we're just wondering, um... I could sleep
standing up. Oh, okay, alright. Alright. Just
make sure you're okay, and he kind of just walks
off. Hey, I appreciate you. Thank you. I'm going
to have the owl kind of outside looking in through
any windows. And just generally kind of keeping
an eye out for anybody who like... Herb owl.
Well, for anybody kind of like entering that
building that's like angry or violent looking
or whatever. Shady characters. You say, who are
we? Rick, look out for them. Woo! So, everyone
is outside the door. So who's bunking with who?
There's two rooms. Wait, which one does the door
open? Does it open into the hall or into the
room? It opens into the room. I need to know
the logistics of these doors. If it opens into
the hall, then it'd have to hit me before it'd
even... I'll bunk with y 'all. Y 'all harvest
will bunk with me. Yeah. I feel like that...
We're gonna share the bed. Yeah. Yeah, there's
a bed and there's a chair and a table over there.
Nah, he's in his summer form, so he'll keep me
warm. Alright, hey, I'll see you guys later.
Yeah. Are you a little spoon or a big spoon?
Um, so, imagine, right, uh, like, um, what's
the word that I'm looking for? The thing you
put your clothes in a dryer? You know, um, the
cylinder that's in there? Now imagine it's me.
I'm just constantly spinning the entire night.
You know, some people put on ocean sounds to
fall asleep. Some people count sheep. I turn
into a piece of firewood. A rotating spit. I
turn into Euro. Shawarma. You know what the worst
thing is? I don't know why I was imagining it,
but I was imagining like y 'all Horace was...
Literally rolling over me, then rolling under
me, then rolling over me, then rolling under
me. Like a fucking hot dog at 7 -Eleven. I don't
know why it just occurred to me that he's rotating
in place. I was about to say rotating in place.
Yeah, that's what I was thinking. Not around
you, but just like next to you in bed. But like
one of those demon movies where he's just like,
I don't know, 10 inches off the bed and just
like spinning all night. He's like, I had crazy
dreams. I thought I was going to be the creepiest
sleeper. Yeah, so Franklin, you are in the room
with Nix. Hell yeah. You guys cuddling? So there
is only one bed and one chair with a small table
and a layer. I don't say anything to Nix. I just
climb to the bed and go to sleep. Or, well, lay
down in bed. It's going to say he takes the chair.
But is actively going to be thinking about his
next move, because he was really trying to have
the room to learn tonight. You can put two chairs
together, and then it's like a bed for you. I'm
even cool with the floor, but I needed privacy.
Come on, Al. Still can. Why did you want to prove
below, Nick? What's that noise? What are you
doing? Nothing, man. I just needed, you know,
to fight my demons to prevent this alcoholism,
and you guys were supporting me so much on, you
know, drinking, and I just needed to work it
out alone tonight. I mean, we're about to go
to sleep. Guns and tech thoughts. What are you
hiding, little man? Surface thoughts. Yeah, what
are your surface thoughts? What is the first
thought right now that makes his mind? What's
the save on this? Surface thoughts, like not
in super detail, isn't a save at all. It's not
a save, I just straight up get stuck. It's not
like everything, it's just like surface thoughts.
Like what are you immediately thinking of when
he's like... You just hear, fuck! Why did you
want this room tonight? The service thought is,
I was going to drink a secret in the room tonight.
Oh, what the service thought is, how the fuck
do I get a drink of alcohol without anyone knowing?
Okay, yeah, the deeper is wisdom, so what's your
rule for wisdom? I don't know where the fuck
my dice just went. Uh -oh. Like, vanish. Get
lost in the sauce. Do you need a 20 right now?
Oh, it's in my pocket. Always keeps the D20 in
the pocket. Keep that thing on you. He's always
ready to roll. Yeah, roll for it. What kind of
save is it? Sorry. That's a wisdom. Let's see
if I have advantage on this. Ooh, that's good.
15 plus... 17. Cool. So I know his inner thoughts.
I think you know he's doing this, though. Yeah,
once you dig deeper, I know. Yeah, either way,
the target knows you're probably rubbing into
its mind. Yeah, so he knows that you're thinking
about drinking now. And you know he does. The
deeper thoughts were... That I was trying to
get credit from everyone for quitting drinking,
but I was just going to get drunk all night in
my room alone. And I'm just going to... Like
I said, I cracked open and looked at you and
like, why did you want to... Did all that, and
then I was like... Okay. Do you want a little
assistance down to the bar? Unseen? Yeah, that
would be nice. Cool, yeah. Then I'll be like,
hey, come with me. I'll get up real quick. I'll
take him to the window. And I'll just vortex
him, warp him out to the street. Is there any
noise with this? Throw a rock at the window when
you want. Come back in. I don't think there's
any noise with this guy. He just poofs. I was
going to say, is it like a banishment where it
just sounds like a pop or something like that?
Small little pop. I think it just sounds like
a... I don't know if I'd even hear it. I mean,
I'm awake outside the door, but I don't know
if I'd hear it inside the room. It'd be probably
still loud and quiet. What's your passive perception?
My passive? Yeah. It's usually 10 plus your normal
passive. 10 plus your skill. Whatever your passive
skill is. 14. Yeah, I mean, with just the regular
creeps and pops and plays. You don't really hear
anything at all. Did I hear them talking at all
up until then? Like mumbling or something. Yeah,
we could have been in the room. I mean, it was
probably similar going to bed. I was going to
say, even if you heard everything we said, it
basically went, why did you want this room alone
tonight? Silence. Like, come over here for a
second. Yeah, I'm just chilling outside the door.
All right, so Nick, you're going to the bar.
Cool. I guess you're faced at the bar. All right.
And that's the night. They just didn't want you
to drink at the bar. They could have given you
a bottle. I wanted you guys to think I was becoming
a better person. I was going to drink alone in
my room. He didn't believe you though. Well then
yeah. And then I got a forced roommate who uncovered
the truth of the situation. And that helped you
out. Like a true friend. True friend? Alright,
next. Friend who doesn't care about the world.
Friend enabler, same thing. Go ahead and roll
me a d20. See how much gold he spent drinking.
10. Oh yeah, he spent 10 gold. So whenever he
throws the rock out the window, like a little
pebble thick kind of style. Yeah. Oh shit, actually,
never mind. I wouldn't have told him this, but
the owl would just be like, wake up. He's like,
because he couldn't telepathically. Oh, yeah.
He had a couple hours. Probably two or three
hours. He's trying to hit the bird with the rock
instead. Wake him up. Hey, you. You know him.
I would probably get as drunk as fast as possible.
We'll meet people in the morning. Make a luck
roll to see if you didn't make a fool of yourself.
One. Oh, yes. You were out drinking for an hour.
Nice. Ten gold in one hour? That was a night
crazy. Yeah. Like I said, I didn't need to get
drunk quick, so I was just pounding them. At
least you didn't spill any. Eleven, eight, and
four. Yeah, you see you're about an hour later
you hear in your mind Franklin wake up Drunkard
is here Rick. You know that's not the signal
and in my mind I go whoo You see uh Nick's is
trying to throw a rock, but he's just like stumbling
over himself and just can't He's trying to find
a rock but he keeps falling over himself At one
point, he's about to throw a ninja star instead.
You see him, like, he looks like he's about to
throw up, and he's considering throwing his ninja
star. And he's just like... No, what happens
is that he opens up the portal, and then Nyx
throws up. Then it goes through the portal. Nyx
will make a comment to see if you throw up after
a night of drinking. Do I have an advantage on
this? Oh, you do, you do. About the one time
you do get it. Let's see if you... 17 plus 6.
Yeah, you see him, but he kind of just keeps
it down. I knew you were going to say that. Cool.
Yeah, I just bamf him back into the room. And
then I give you a thumbs up and I sleep on the
floor. He looks at you and just kind of falls
over. I think as he looks at him, Franklin's
face just goes super neutral, right? For a second.
I'm like thinking about my sword and then I go
to bed. He's right there. He's so vulnerable.
Too easy. Yeah, so you all of you are awake.
Franklin, how many hours do you take to sleep?
I'm a half hour, so I'm Like a regular -ass person.
Oh, you don't get the four -hour bonus? No, that's
another good reason to bunk with Nick. It's all
to do with your waffles. I was going to say,
after Haroon's sick, he ended up coming into
the room and looking at him. Yeah, Haroon, you're
going in there, and both of them are still sleeping.
Actually, are you trying to be quiet as you go
in there? Yeah. All right, let me see if you
get in there. I'm not trying to be sneaky. I'm
just trying to be quiet and not to wake him up,
because that's rude. Yeah. Ooh, that's 10. Yeah,
so you're kind of... You try to, like, be slow.
It was a little stuck, so you kind of just flung
it up, and you're a little too strong. Just shrug
and just, like, look at him. But Nick is just
asleep. He's so loud. He's on the floor, like,
all weird. Looks like he kind of just fell and
just crumbled on the floor. His sleeping sack
is halfway rolled out as he's splayed out on
the floor. That doesn't really surprise me. Probably
just go back out. You said this is the inn, right?
Yeah. Do they serve food here? Yeah, they go
to the front and then he says, yeah, we have
a... Oh, Harun, we've been down here for like
two hours already. Look at Yoharis and I. Yoharis
is already eating. Okay. Because we're four hours.
He has a big plate of eggs and meat. Yeah, I'm
more food for Nick's, which is probably a shit
ton of bacon and eggs. And then I'd say for Franklin,
I'd get him some bacon, some eggs, maybe some
toast. Alright, yeah. He says I'll be too old.
Okay. And I'll set it up basically that I know
about how long Nix normally sleeps. So it'll
be like fresh when he first comes down. Yeah,
so you're thinking that, but then he's about
an hour behind where he normally wakes up at.
So you see Franklin come out and he enjoys the
food. Yeah. Rock on down. Yeah, about an hour
or so, they're chilling, and you see he stumbles
out. Well, I mean, if I see Franklin come down,
I might go up and just be like, Nick, it's time
to wake up. Because I think I know what time
it is, and I'm going to wake him awake. Yeah.
Nick, you're trying to get the last bits of your
sleep, and your room's trying to wake you up.
Not quite yet, buddy. What do you mean? It's
time. You know, I just had a really hard time
not drinking. I made you food. I had a hard time
not drinking last night, and it just kept me
up. Kept you up? Yeah, it's called withdrawal.
Well, I have alcohol. I offered you alcohol.
What do you mean? Get up. I'm trying not to drink,
Harun. Wake up. Wake up. Motor noises. Get it.
Damn. Call the internet real quick. Harun's really
not... He hasn't stretched that epithet muscle
yet. Wake up! Wake up! Ma, get off the Warforged.
Don't try to play Doom. I'd just like to keep
fucking with him, probably. Get off the... He
won't let me sleep. I guess I get up. I think
down at breakfast I'm filling in Yoharis. So
we talked to the shopkeeper yesterday at the
weapon shop and he said that the Orions were
trying to build or buy up his cousin's farm somewhere
near Karnath. So if we figure out whereabouts
that is, where they're buying up farmland. That
leads us to them. Exactly. That's my thought,
my hope. Uh, he didn't give you any cardinal
directions, though, as far as where that farm
is? Nah, he said he didn't know. Um... Yeah.
Alright, well, I'm sure that it shouldn't be
too hard to spot. I mean, farms are pretty big.
So, we go there and we start getting more leads.
Right now that's a pretty solid lead to a potential
target. Yeah, and I don't know how many that
was a dwarf yesterday, huh? You should still
get your rest because typically you only need
to sleep for six and do light activities Okay,
this is how watches are working. Okay, so you
think he's bugging you but you're still probably
getting your rest. This guy's probably a dwarf
as well. Yeah, I'd eventually get up. So, got
that to go on. Alright. You know, it's uh...
They say between elves and dwarves that there's
been a rivalry, but I mean, I've never had anything
bad to say about those guys at all. I mean, every
so often we give each other some shit because
they think that, you know, I left the Feywild
a little early, like those other guys, but, you
know, they make some damn good alcohol, I can
tell you that. Some good hooch. It's alright
for them to be in second place. The dwarves are
the other guys. Yeah, everybody. Lonely at the
top. It can be. Wait, but if you're a half -elf,
then what is supposed to be number one about
you? Oh, so good that he made me the king of
two races. Good answer. Good answer. Good answer.
I'm a half elf. What's the other half? A different
type of elf. I'm half fairy -ish. Oh man. Don't
worry about it. I'm really locking in on Franklin
and it's just boundless self -belief. There's
nothing I can't do about it. What do you think,
Frank? Did you learn that shit from me? I'm glad
you guys were not a team. Happy Menace. Absolutely
devastating together. The real BBG. The Franklin
family. You should meet my dad, Frank. To protect
our world from devastation. My little sister,
Francine. Our grandfather, Franck. Frankfurt.
Our cousin, Franz. We're not talking about him.
They resided from Frankfurt, Germany. What? Eberron
is in Germany? Oh shit, it makes so, so much
sense. His whole family started from fucking
Isekai. That's why they think they're the shit.
We are the main characters. I was gonna say,
generations of being the best. By virtue of living.
I got Isekai when Germany was winning. Oh, no!
No, no. What did he mean by that? No Twitter
affiliation, if that's what you meant. Yeah.
Wait, it's called X. No one gives a shit about
Twitter. It's still Twitter to me. I'm still
on Twitter. I deleted it. I'm sorry. I mean,
overall it's fine because I find crazy shit and
I post crazy shit and then everyone's like, huh,
business as usual. Yeah, I just... I'm not really
a fan of, uh... Play for me anymore. Yeah, I
don't blame you. All right, let's get this cart
loaded up so we can move on out of here. Nick,
do you mind getting the heavy lifting for us?
Yeah. You got a lot of sleep last night, huh?
Yeah, I know. I mean, the withdrawals hit me,
so I had a little hard time sleeping. Can I roll
to see if he's bullshitting? Yeah, go ahead and
roll me an insight check. Can you try to deceive
them? Yeah. Go ahead and roll deception with
disadvantage. I trust him. I was outside his
door the whole night. Yeah, go ahead and roll
deception. Here. I got 18 and 16. Oh, that's
cocked. Plus, I got 18. Oh shit, 16 plus what?
117. Inspiration! Wait, he got disadvantage?
Yeah, he's still like a little like, he didn't
get his full sleep and he's still kind of like
He's trying to remember me corroborating his
story because I believe he stayed in. Well no,
this is just a check between them two. But yeah,
you almost bought it but you kind of just, you're
kind of like leaning in because you're moving
but you got the slightest hint of alcohol in
his breath and you're just like I lean down and
whisper into his ear, Next time, just take me
with you. I didn't do anything. Next time, just
take me with you. Don't bullshit me. Was that
a local draft? Was that local? Harun will say,
Well, you can't quit pool. Turkey, right? And
he's going to try to break out some of the door
with Hooch. Yeah, that does make sense. Let's
break it out and then let's head out to... Where
did you guys say we're going again? Kornath.
Kornath. Kornath. Do we answer Franklin drinks
or do we not know? As you guys are kind of getting
ready for the day, you guys are going to talk
and loan your cart and then you see a little
paper bird. flies and lands on you. As you see
the, um... Where? It flies and lands on, uh...
My palm? On your palm, yeah. You kind of extend
your palm and you guys kind of see the bird as
this flying little, like, paper bird just falls
into Lizard's hand and opens up for him. And,
uh, it reads out, Franklin's here? He says, he
says, he says, uh, great man, even better cook.
Son of a bitch. What the fuck? Is this, hold
on real quick, is this one of those like letters,
like Harry Potter letters, where it like, you
know, when you read it, it actually like speaks
to you? No, it's just written. Oh, it's just
written? Yeah. I don't even care. It doesn't
matter if you read it out loud. I'm not even
trying to look at it. I just turn to you as you
read it and say, taught him everything he knows.
Oh, I hate this. He's always been confident enough
to always feel like he's coming out on top. What
else does Remy say in his letter? He says, um,
we're moving towards Flame Keep in the upcoming
days to bring some supplies for expansion. He
says, of course, um, he says, um, I'm still cooking
for Baldwin. He has a very nice -looking woman
with him that's been accompanying him lately.
I might still be there. I don't know. I already
know who he's talking about. Yeah. But, yeah,
he's going to say, so we're probably about maybe
three to five days out from Flame Keep, as he
says on there. Hope to see you soon. And if Franklin's
there with you, Tell him to help your harvest
with the recipe ideas. I'm not even going to
cook hardly at all, if ever, for this group.
I just want you guys to know in the back of your
minds, it was me. see here's the thing is like
I would probably get I would probably read the
whole letter out loud until I get to the until
I get to that last sentence and then I'll probably
like do the whole like you know and then I won't
say that I'll be like yeah Remy says hi Franklin
good kid uh flank keep is that closer That's
closer than Carneth, right? No, that's across
the lake. It's across the lake, okay. It's where
the train ends. If we were to guess, how long
do you think it would take? I think you scared
the shit out of the cat more than you did us.
If we were to guess, how long do you think it
would take for us to get there? How long would
it take us? I should know. Survival check. Oh
yeah, our cartographer friend. Go ahead and roll
me your navigation. I already figured out how
long the other one was. It's just in reverse,
right? How long it takes to travel. Well, if
you also have one of those I think we already
had this discussion of what they're called but
like the compasses where it's like you measure
distance but like this is here. Okay, what skill
do I add to this? Guidance. Was it survival?
Yeah, guidance. Intelligence. Intelligence? Yeah.
You're going to be wizarding. I was like, I don't
have any bonuses, but I do have survival. I feel
like survival. Let's go survival. Let's go survival.
Okay, well then, that is it. Plus guidance? Guidance.
Yeah. It's better with the wisdom. But it'd be
really funny, not for the party, but just it'd
be really funny for... 19. We'd never be like,
oh, that's how you do it. That's a dick move.
19. You know it'd probably take you about a week
or so to get there? Is that including, like,
do you like grasslands or like how his thing
is? Yeah, but it could be faster depending on
if you find any other sorts of transportation.
Right, because I remember he lets us travel at
a faster pace as part of that. Okay, I share
that information with the group. That would mean
we would have to hustle. Let's hustle. So are
we going to not look for the land they're buying
up here in Carnath and hustle down over the train
to... get down towards Sharn? No, yeah, we should
probably check out that landing for now. I mean,
that's just like a potential outpost they're
building, so they might be more of an isolated.
Yeah, I like... Plan member if there is one?
I would like that idea. That might be a good
idea, because maybe... Yeah, you might be right,
because maybe there is still somebody there.
Someone has to watch over the development. Right,
right, right. No one can be in charge. That would
make sense. We absolutely have to pursue that
lead, because even if we don't find an Orion
there, we can find someone that knows where that
person would be going. That's a better idea.
I like that. Like, what we've run into... With
what we have run into so far, that the Emerald
Claw is very... out here, too. You know what
I'm saying? Uh -huh. So it stands to reason that
there's... You know. They don't have these two
groups rowing around with some dynamite for no
reason. With some, like, head -haunching, like,
big tough guys, you know, with them. Yeah, that's
right. Someone got the zoomies. Yeah, then let's
head out to the land. Okay. Uh... You guys getting
any last -minute spies or anything else while
you're in this town? I'm gonna... I'd like to
swing into that weapon shop and just get the
cousin's name from the dwarf. And confirm he's
a dwarf, I guess. Yeah, uh... They call him...
They call him Sturge. Sturge? Yep. Sturge. Sturge
is also a dwarf? Yep. Sturge the farming dwarf.
And do you remember if he has a big farm? It's
big. He grows these red things. These round red
things. I can't remember what they're called.
Radishes? Something like that, yeah. Are they
in the ground or out of the ground? I'm not a
farmer. They grow on the ground. They're near
the ground. On the ground or in the ground? I'm
not a farmer. I sell weapons. Okay. He's got
a big farm. Could be radishes. Could be tomatoes.
Could be watermelons if the city is colorblind.
Could be beets. Well, beets are more purple,
I believe, right? Or violet, whatever it is.
While they're doing this, can I just hit up the
market and see if there's any hats? Yeah. A hattery.
There are stalls selling clothes or other places.
Yeah, there's hats around here. Okay, what kind
of hats do I find? So you find, like, fabric
hats. You find head wraps. Ooh. A lot of people
are wearing it. Like, some of the desert areas,
people are wearing stuff that, like, wraps around
their head and face. It's kind of pretty different
from, like, the dust. Is there, like, sets of
those? Like... Are we going to be traveling much
through the desert? Depends, but yeah, there
are plenty. I was wondering if we might be...
Right now, we're still just going to be in, like,
the... Traveling up through the plains to, like,
where farmland is. Right. Okay, well, I don't
know, to fast -track this, how much, like, hats
in these hats might be. Uh, I mean, most of the
garments are going to be, like, a silver each,
so it depends on... Okay. So how many hats can
I get then if they're silver? How much silver
do you have? I have a lot of silver. I just did
character pictures. I have 35 silver at least.
But I'm not going to get that many hats. Give
me 35 hats. He has six head wraps. And looks
like three different cloth hats. Regular hats
with a small brim over it. Okay, I'm going to
get... I'll just get one of those and then some
of the cloth wraps. Then I have one that's like
a... It's made of some sort of straw, but it's
really big and wide. Like a sun hat? Yeah. I
was thinking a sombrero, but that's a little
too wide. I actually kind of like the sun hat
idea because I imagine me having the sun hat
and then just looking up under the rim. I'll
have to imagine more like a big floppy women's
garden hat or something. I think it's the other
hat, but it's really a gardening hat. This looks
so cool, guys, right? Okay. I'm going to get
all those. And then back to the main story. How
do you transport all your hats? What? I shove
them in the bag of holding. He's holding up the
bag of holding right now. I've had the bag of
holding. There's so much thingies in there. Yeah,
a lot of hats. I was going to say, like, at some
point, we're going to need to take some stuff
out of there, and somebody else is going to be
like, fucker, there's so many hats in this. It's
funny, somebody still makes his stuff out of
the bag that's just covered in hats. Guys, get
ready. 3 ,600 hats. He wears many hats. He's
like, look, I put on the cook hat, and I'm a
cook. I put on the captain hat and I'm a captain.
I have three captain's hats. He also has a maid's
hat, too. When he doesn't have one, that mellow
hat that got disintegrated off of him. That is
true, and that's fucked. Yeah, that was a gift.
No, he has a sworn enemy. No, I gotta go back
and get another hat from my Goliath friend. You
don't even remember his name. My notes do. Wow.
My sister's Goliath guy. Richard? No, I don't
know. I don't remember what his name is. I remember.
Do you remember? You don't remember. The start
of the R? Yeah. Is it? Yes. Rick? Nope. Close.
Richard? Nope. Dick? Richard. No, it's close
to that, actually. I don't know. Let me history
check to see if I remember. Come on. It was Roderick.
Got it. That's all right. Franklin remembers.
Yeah. It wasn't even there. It wasn't even there.
Yeah, I mean, Ben just said it out loud. What?
It's Roderick. It's Roderick. Roderick, that's
right. I was like, Franklin's memory is impeccable
for things he wasn't there for. I don't know
if you know this, but I'm the greatest of all
time. The great Franklin. His name is John T.
They call me the goat. The great Franklina. And
I think it was a good point to call it, boys.
Yeah. All right. Right before we move on out.
Yep. Moving on up. Great session, folks. Good
session, boys. We'll catch you next time. Later,
nerds.