Hello everyone, this is freaking nerds.
A D&D podcast where six friends play Dungeons and Dragons.
I am Will, or Will I am, I don't fucking know,
but I do know I am Lazognam Oskine,
the druid wood elf cleric, and fun false fact.
They are all level eight, just reminded.
Oh shit, I need to level up.
While I will drag this out a little bit.
Nyx, what is that fighting art style
where they like to be on the ground?
You know what I'm talking about?
Jiu-Jitsu.
Is it Jiu-Jitsu?
I didn't want to say that and be wrong,
that's what I thought it was.
I just scoot across the ground on his butt.
Yeah, the butt is good.
Brazilian, so he is, because he has the multiclass
as a fighter, that is his fighting style,
is Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu.
He will immediately get on the ground
and use it to his advantage
because he's so low to the ground.
Yeah, fun fact, the grappler fighting style
is actually just BJJ.
Oh man, I've never seen a creature like you before.
Where are you from?
Brazil.
The red dragon's coming at him.
Okay bro.
Oh, sorry bro.
Come on bro, come on bro.
The first thing I do in any fight, I sit down.
I get down here and fight me like a man.
You're not prone.
Perfect.
I gain advantage.
You start yelling big man to be standing up there
while I'm sitting down here.
That'd be crazy advantage if you're prone.
Because he has the Brics-
Jiu-Jitsu feet.
That's fucking great.
Nobody would be prepared for that.
Everybody's like, oh your prone's perfect, get him.
Come on bro.
Get me, yeah get me.
Go right ahead.
Oh shit.
I'm Jalen, I'm playing next to the Barbarian Fighter.
I don't really have much of a false fact for Franklin
because I don't know Franklin too well.
I'll say the false fact, he loved his brother deeply.
Yeah.
Doesn't really know if that's true or not, but.
We'll see.
Hi, I'm Bayan, I'm playing Franklin the Elder.
The Tankler.
Franklin the Elder, Frankie's older brother.
I'm a Bladesong wizard and I'm here to stab and magic.
As you do.
Fun false fact about Harun is that
when he's fighting, the only reason he's so good
is that whenever we roll initiative,
a little controller pops out of his back
and me or anybody else sitting in the back
is running full remote on him.
A little analog.
Punch, punch, punch, punch, punch.
Yeah, the A, B, A, B, A, B.
Be like, all right Harun buddy, you got this
which is to manual mode.
So when you give your little brother the unplug controller,
dude, look how good you're doing.
I'm doing great.
Anyone here read Hunter Hunter?
God's a, yeah.
Okay, like Sheldon Archibald.
Yeah.
In my mouth, yeah, you want me to put.
All right.
Yeah, yeah, you want it.
Mark and I play Harun.
When, when.
Warforged monk, kind of a baby.
Feeling sad and feeling empathetic.
You're welcome.
My false fact about Yoharis is that
he can change his form, yes, yes.
And it's wonderful, but for whatever reason,
he decides to keep his dick a different form.
It's always winter.
It's always cold down there.
Ever since the war.
The winter's the hardest.
Oh my God.
Ever since the war.
That was bad.
You're telling me.
But hello, I'm pretty sure,
but tonight I'm gonna be playing Yoharis Scythrath,
the now level eight,
summer Eladrin Ranger.
And a fun false fact for my good friend,
Lasagna, is that he can tap dance like a professional.
You're goddamn right.
That's canon now.
It is no longer false.
That is.
These shoes are made for tapping.
They're made for tapping.
I mean, honestly, like you and I,
I can see both of us breaking out
into a wonderful river dance.
And also our character's doing it.
My performance is plus two, so I got this.
I just took some really good stuff for inspiration,
you could say.
So I wouldn't be able to lead you with that.
Thank you.
Now Gonzo, what socks are you wearing?
I'm wearing these socks,
those really handsome guys gave me.
Oh, it's the D&D socks I got for him.
Was that last session?
Oh no, that was a last session.
That was the big fight session.
Yes, you can certainly try.
Because when Gonzo rolls his ankles,
it's always critical.
You can certainly try.
He did.
Natural 20s on them.
It's rolled with it like my ankles, brother.
Framble, leave me in the glass.
You can certainly try something super ominous
to have on the bottom of your sock
as you stomp somebody out.
You can try.
You can certainly try.
You can try to dodge if you want to.
If you can dodge your foot, you can dodge your balls.
I'm getting the dodge of the foot.
That's actually one of the five D's of dodge ball,
God damn it.
Dib, dodge, dodge, dip, dodge.
That's also super concerning that somebody in socks
is stomping you out.
Because I would think barefeeder with shoes,
but why is he in socks?
You get the heel.
Gonzo wants you to smell him cum.
Oh yeah.
That means two things.
Poison spray.
We won't tell.
Oh God, here we go.
It was like they say in the song,
if you giddy up, jingle horse, pick up your feet.
Oh God.
Ryan, Ryan, my feet.
No, now Gonzo, before we get too far.
Jan, let's see how Ash is too fat.
Uh oh, oh, is it the flower?
No big deal, we can put it back together.
Yeah, no, it's not a big deal.
It's just like those Lego sets, or those cheap Lego sets.
For those at home, Janely's thick cheeks.
Just knocked over.
Just knocked over one of my Lego sets.
Always got a whole bakery back there.
A whole bakery.
Oh yeah.
But you know what, his wife loves it.
Emphasis on the whole.
He keeps getting stomped in the store
for smuggling two hams in the back.
What's your real fact, Gonzo?
My real fact, let's see.
My real fact is actually about Lasagna.
Ooh.
He's done such a good job redeeming himself
that his God will take away his queasiness.
Oh thank God.
And since you're in the good graces,
you wake up feeling nice and energized,
and you have a better connection to your God now.
You're in better favor now.
So if you use your cleric thing to call upon,
let's see, for the next day,
any cleric thing you do, you got advantage on.
Ooh.
You're gonna have to tell me when a cleric thing happens.
So anytime you use a cleric spell,
or a cleric feature.
Does that mean if you use turn undead,
they get advantage on their saves?
No, they haven't finished.
Well, if you're talking about like,
or not channel divinity,
channel divinity. You got channel divinity?
I got channel divinity,
but I don't have divine intervention,
if that's what you're referring to.
I was gonna say, actually, you know what?
Since you did so well, you get a divine intervention.
Fuck it, I'll change it, I'll change it something better.
You get a divine intervention.
I get a divine intervention?
So you can do it.
Yeah, so you get, so you know the rules, right?
You gotta roll within a certain,
but you get to do it for free.
All right, all right.
Good to know.
I feel like, you know what?
You've done a great job.
Well, thank you, Gonzo.
I feel like Lasagna has come a far way.
Yeah.
Who would like to do the recap for inspiration?
Who remembers what happened?
Uh-huh, I don't know.
It has been a minute.
A lot of stuff, actually.
A lot of stuff did happen.
I'll try.
So we made our way back to the Nomad Camp,
the friendly Nomad Camp, of course,
with the high-value individual in tow.
He was waking up periodically to scream
and then immediately passing back out.
We made it back.
They were very appreciative and happy.
It was a big old feast we met with the chieftain.
He gave us more information.
We weren't really sure where to go from there,
but we figured, all right, well,
we can just stick around here or wait
until our information broker friend comes and finds us.
There was something about magical items that were gained.
Somebody got a suit of armor, I believe.
Yeah, that was the reward for bringing it back.
That's the one.
It's on you.
And then-
Nick's got it.
There was a big old fight for the belt that I was wearing.
Was it a big old fight?
Well, I mean, it was a-
It was a savage curb style.
It was a fight, we can definitely say that.
Nick's like, all right, buddy, here we go.
All right, buddy, I got my axe now.
Genuinely do not remember who got the belt.
That's gonna be someone else.
Nick won, yeah.
All right, I'm just doing-
Nick showed off all his magic-iness.
We got in contact with a, well,
what I would assume to be a bounty hunter in character.
I don't know, but-
Hello.
But his name is Franklin, and boy, howdy.
Does he know Frankie in some way, shape, or form?
He is also a fairy, correct?
No, he's a half elf.
Half elf.
Half fairy, all man.
100% knifier bastard.
But we recruited him into our party,
and he is kinda scary.
That's saying a lot coming from me.
And then from there, I don't remember.
Let me know if I get inspiration.
Yeah, you got it.
Yeah, and then Harun was checking his maps,
and then he saw something weird on his map,
so he remembered to go back to
the town you guys were at
before you guys made it to the plains.
So the big central hub,
blanking on the name home, we can't find it.
We also found the dragonborn, the herbal.
Yeah, we went and saw the dragonborn.
That is the husband.
Oh, yes.
I was gonna say that.
Angus, that's his name.
You guys met Angus?
Yeah.
I was gonna say that.
Yeah, we met Angus, who was the husband
of the evil force witch, and their daughter,
and then he tells us that his daughter died
so that the wife turned evil.
And then we all offered-
He thought that he killed her.
Yeah, we offered to kill his wife.
Yes, we did.
And we will.
He seemed real excited about it.
We will.
Oh, we were real excited about it.
I was jumping at the opportunity.
Well, I mean, you guys remember what she did last time?
She, yeah, you were there, you remembered.
But yeah, you guys are gonna go towards Gatherhold.
Gatherhold.
Yeah.
That wasn't the same one we fucking paid.
I killed that server.
No, that was the one that the three-headed-
I know, I know which one.
Oh, yeah, I thought you were saying.
Yeah, that was the same.
That was also, and I was like,
yeah, no, that's different.
Yeah, well, yeah, the whole thing that
she was the one that made the whole thing.
Yeah, we killed that.
Yep.
I killed that.
And Lasagna thinks that's also the thing that,
or she's also who killed Frankie.
That is true.
There is a conspiracy.
Yeah.
You got to see a crazy, powerful druid man.
So.
Lasagna got some integration.
He was like, well, this guy's crazy.
But anyways, yeah, we picked up,
you boys are on your way to,
so you guys are traveling back from,
going back and,
as you guys are traveling,
go ahead and roll me some perception checks.
Got it.
Would you say that we are still-
18.
In the grasslands?
You are, yes.
Go ahead.
19.
Going back?
So you guys are going back to Gather Hold to,
reconvene there for the information broker.
Oh, right, right, right.
14.
Remember you saw the map?
We long rest, right?
Yeah, you got to rest.
Okay, I got half my HP gone and I can't remember why.
Yeah, me either.
Cause I got one shot that Mark ran.
Oh, yes.
I said you guys gotta take notes
of where your health is at or if they retest for-
I rolled a nat one cause Franklin's busy
staring a hole in the back of Lasagna's head.
Damn.
I am focused.
He just,
damn,
Franklin's even less personable.
19.
19, all right.
14.
14, what did you get Mark?
14.
14, okay.
Chailin, you said you got 18?
18.
Okay, yeah, so,
the only people who see really is,
so you guys are kind of traveling along
and Nix and Lasagna notice,
it's kind of hard at first,
but it looks like there's just some movement
kind of within the grass,
like something moving along the grass.
Like some sort of animal kind of just crawling along.
Can a cat speak with animals?
Yeah.
And then I'll say,
who goes there?
Or who goes there, sorry.
Yeah, who said that?
Okay.
You hear nothing.
Okay.
Lasagna, what are you doing?
I heard something in the bushes.
I knock an arrow into my bow.
I'm just waiting as we're moving along.
Lasagna says that, obviously, here as I'm like,
I'm three feet behind,
I'm just staring at his prism.
Concentrating.
I'll also ready up a little bit.
All right.
Is he still in front of the pack?
Just kind of leading the way?
If he's up there, I would be there with him.
I'm still at the cart here.
Yeah.
I would have my sword taken out.
Okay, cool.
Harun, do you want me to dex check real quick?
Or dex save, I mean.
Oof.
That is not the best.
Got it.
Here we go.
11.
Oof, all right.
But if I fail, then I take.
What is it, like the special thing?
Yeah, take it.
Yeah, I think it's half.
Yeah, take half.
So, Nix, you kind of take your sword out
and as you're running, you see Harun.
You're on Harun's shoulders, right?
Probably.
Okay, so Harun's running and then you see
like a giant tether kind of just comes,
like a rope just comes out and just takes his feet out.
Roll me an acrobatics.
See if you can kind of like.
Do you think this is acrobatics or athletics?
I'll let you choose.
Okay, I'm gonna choose athletics and make it a 15.
Oh, right, yeah.
So you manage to, like, your sword was out.
So you manage to like, you're like, oh fuck,
if I kind of like use that to like land on your feet
and use that to keep yourself up.
And Harun kind of stumbles over and then does a 19 hit you,
Nix?
No.
All right, and then as you see that,
you kind of hop over and then you put your sword down
and an arrow just hits your sword.
And you're just like, whoa.
Can I pull out some holy water?
You can pull out some holy water.
Can I pull out some holy water and cast Bless?
As we're doing that, you can do that next.
But I have one more mission.
God damn.
Damn it.
Does the Bless happen?
No, yeah, that'll be your next.
This is all kind of happening as you notice that.
Of course.
You might notice that the movement are kind of like,
so the movement that you had seen were
some halflings were waiting.
Whoa.
So what's nine plus 10?
What?
19.
No, 21.
I got a 21 for initiative.
What?
Okay.
Has no one seen that vine?
Am I 10,000 years old?
I know, no, I heard it, but then I was like,
wait a minute.
Yeah, it took me a minute as well.
But then I was like, okay, now I would remember
just going from 16.
Dirty 20.
I was about to say, when you said nine plus 10,
I was like, your initiative is plus 10?
Dude, I'm so fast, I'm a flash.
What was that feat you took out of a late-pile?
I was gonna say, isn't there a feat that gives you
additional initiative, or is that just a fight?
Plus five.
It gives you plus five?
I actually, I did take a feat this time,
before for whatever reason in D&D Beyond.
It was like, the only feat that you can take
is fire arrows, I'm like, all right.
I think it's because of him.
The only one?
Oh, it must have been in the subsection
because the fire arrows are at homebrew.
Right, and they put a paywall behind a lot of stuff.
Yeah.
He should have more access to it now.
If you're in with Mark now, you should be able
to have access to a lot more with Y'all Horace.
That's true, and I do, because now I am a charismatic leader.
Oh really, what'd you get?
Let me show you.
Did you get Haktor?
Yeah.
Really good.
No, it's not that one, I forget the name.
I took Inspired Leaders.
I got 24.
What's that, three short and one long rests
to give a little roll-ons.
I can give you guys temporary HP.
Oh, that's actually really good.
14.
Oh, all right, you go first.
What'd you get for her?
24.
Damn.
Yeah, everybody just relaxed.
Chill out, chill out, bro, chill out.
I don't know why you guys gotta make a big deal about it.
It's not a big deal.
Oh, you guys gonna put the minis out?
Oh yeah, totally forgot about that.
How many people are we, I wasn't expecting combat,
so I didn't even grab my mini,
cause I was like, oh, we're just traveling.
After that big fight,
Gonzo would not have a fucking thing playing for us.
After you massacred a bunch of the people,
it wouldn't come to retaliate.
Yeah.
Not for long.
There we go.
Maybe we'll be so hard.
Did you guys bring your minis?
I did not bring, I'll have to go look for mine.
That one's got mine with me.
Always keep that thing on me.
You have to.
So I'm gonna drop that place.
You can't like it though.
And then, there's enough of them that I wanna try this.
I'm going to also hit that,
that greater invisibility.
I'm gonna move some,
where's the most?
I'm gonna move that.
You guys just saw him, he's gone.
Franklin was there one second and then he's gone.
Except for actually, Nick, you have True Sight, right?
I have Blind Sight.
Blind Sight.
In 10 feet, right?
Or do you have like, yeah.
So you saw me invisible,
and then you saw me scurry away.
But that is my turn.
All right.
When your blade song goes, what song does?
I think really, it's not much of a song.
Whenever his blade song activates,
it's only if Time Franklin ever laughs.
It just goes.
He takes off.
You just hear laughing, I go, what the fuck?
This guy's a clown.
The only time you see, he's got a scowl on his face
besides when he's about to kill, so you're like.
All right.
I don't know if I'd enjoy that.
It is.
I'm like crying, I'm hitting people, he's laughing.
The bad guys are next?
Yeah.
They rolled higher than a 21?
Yeah. God damn.
We need him on a roll off, because we rolled, I got 24.
You guys want to have that in another dimension,
or go for it.
Yeah.
The dark dimension.
Tell them.
Yeah, so right now they're all lined up
and they're just firing on the cart,
so they're gonna just be firing at you guys.
So, um.
Let's do how many you're gonna hit who.
Actually, you know what?
There's, some of them will, most of them,
so eight of them are gonna rush in
and four of them are gonna kind of be.
The front half?
Yeah, say the front.
And the side there, right, by me?
Yeah.
And then there's four of them kind of,
they just start shooting at,
they see that Nick's in their room,
that kind of falling over,
and then they're gonna just kind of shoot at that.
So you said eight though.
Jokes aside, which eight?
Is this one gonna, I think he's seeing his.
I am asking, yeah.
Yeah, I'm gonna go in.
It's gonna be about my opportunity.
Yeah, okay.
He doesn't see you, you're invisible, so.
Well, he should see you through this.
Oh shit, does somebody have a third D20?
God, I love an accuracy.
Yeah, here you go.
Oh, got this.
Yeah, and because I have War Caster,
I'm gonna hit him with that Booming Blade.
Oof.
Oh shit, two tens and seven.
That's gonna be a,
it's gonna be a 17 to hit.
17 hits.
Excellent.
Hit his ass.
Okay, so Booming Blade's gonna do weapon attack,
this is a regular.
Next, two shots missed you.
It's gonna be seven damage with the Rape here,
and then two Thunder damage on top of that,
and then he's gonna take,
is he actually gonna leave my space once he gets hit?
Yeah, he's going, he just gets hit,
and he's like, what the fuck,
so he's running towards like.
Okay, so he's gonna take another 2D8 of damage
for moving with Booming Blade on him,
so it's another four damage.
Oh yeah.
This guy's looking already hurt.
Okay.
Cool.
What damage are you getting?
I think you're ahead of me,
or it may be your Horus.
Did you put on the armor I gave you yet?
No, okay.
So it's.
I did not.
And then you're a good.
Yeah, and then,
next to that, for example,
is on the.
Yeah, two shots,
a 10 and a 16 don't hit you, so.
Nope.
Her rune is an 18 hit you.
Is it at disadvantage?
No, they're from distance.
Oh, okay.
Well, then they don't get the flanking,
but I have the cloak on,
so it would be at disadvantage.
Oh, you're right, yeah, okay, yeah, so.
I was actually a 22, so.
Okay, what was the first one?
18.
No.
Yeah.
Okay.
Let's see, and then this one's gonna be.
And.
Yeah, so let's see, 10.
So yeah, it looks like that one also misses you,
so the four guys that were shooting at,
Nix and Harun, just were shooting,
but Harun just kind of.
I'm just doing back to back.
Definitely, but Nix kind of just,
one of the arrows just hits you,
and just kind of breaks you, like huh.
Cool.
Come on, huh.
Cool armor.
Yeah.
And let's see, yeah, so these guys are running up
on you guys, and they're about to start swinging.
So let's see.
Roughly about two shots for everyone, I think.
Yep, so let's start with.
Like does anyone do a melee attack within my reach?
So we're gonna start with,
let's start with a Zoggin first,
so it's gonna be two for each of you.
That would be one, I mean, you could use your reaction
on one of these guys.
That's what I'm wondering,
if any one of those guys are making an attack to an ally
that are within five feet of me.
Yeah.
So Zoggin's gonna hit.
Whoever hits the Zoggin.
Yeah, that's the Zoggin.
Okay, and that's this guy.
23 hits the Zoggin.
Yeah, that's gonna hit.
And then the second attack is a 12,
which I'm assuming that's a hit.
Okay.
Yeah, so you take,
for that first one, you take 16 damage.
Okay.
And then,
so Nix.
I rolled a 30.
A 30 to hit, yeah.
Go ahead and roll it.
Yeah, 19 plus 11.
Yeah.
He said six, right?
Yeah. Okay.
That is 18 damage.
Okay, yeah, so that was a guy
that had already been hit by Franklin,
so he's already hurt, and then you just,
but he's at your height, so what are you doing to him?
You kill him.
I'm not even gonna cut him at the neck.
I'm gonna try to cut him through the shoulder,
and get lodged into his chest cavity,
but he's missing an arm and like,
a good chunk of his chest.
Oh, yeah.
You see this guy, just like,
you see him just stab with Zogna,
and then he just kinda has a smile on his face,
and you see Nix just cleave him right through his body.
This is the one that I had for him,
but we can say this is the one that was him.
That guy's dead.
And then,
the other guys are hitting you.
First one, it was a 12 to hit you.
Nope.
Nix.
12.
And then a natural point.
Ooh.
That's gonna be.
No Silverade Barbs?
I don't even know.
Oh, I was just kidding.
But it's only six damage, so.
Okay.
Is it magical?
It's not magical.
Okay, cool, so three damage.
And then,
Franklin, you're invisible, so not hitting you.
Oh, shit, I forgot about your heart, it's good.
Hello.
That's a 21 hit.
Just roll the damage.
Yeah, that's gonna be five damage,
and then, I'm assuming a nine doesn't hit.
A nine does not.
And then,
Harun,
I'm assuming a 12 doesn't hit.
Nope.
And a 19.
Is, who hit me on that last one?
Oh, shit, you're right,
because you're disadvantaged.
The guy within, he's within five damage.
He gets disadvantaged on the cloak, right?
Disadvantage.
Well, actually, he gets disadvantaged
if he's straight rolled, so.
Well, I mean, we're not keeping track of who's who,
so only certain people.
Actually, no one's flanking me here.
This is me, no one's flanking me.
Oh, okay, cool, yeah, so then, yeah.
So then, so I'm gonna go one then, yeah, so he missed.
Yeah, okay.
Yeah, it was a one and a 19, so yeah, he missed.
Okay, that is their turn.
Yeah.
And, uh.
Yeah.
For the audience at home, we pulled out a circle.
Yeah.
Circle.
Will got me these fancy things that are,
mark the board, like, they have like a circle,
cones, it's pretty nifty for when you're playing
with your friends.
So I'm gonna throw that shit in a circle.
No, you're gonna throw that shit in the octagon
with those eight stunning ankles.
I mean, if you want someone to throw it in the octagon,
you gotta, you gotta, you gotta, you gotta,
you gotta do all that cake.
Pssss.
I'm not, why am I doing that?
All right.
Yeah, you are, it's your turn.
Does that count as deforestation?
Does it real or does it take?
Oh, no.
So, real quick, actually, before I start doing my actions,
if I were, because I have my bow out currently,
would I gain like any sort of penalties if I,
so there's a dude right next to me.
Yeah, so long range, that'd be the same,
unless you have the, there's a feat,
I think it's a...
Crossbow. Crossbow expert.
No, he doesn't have it.
Yeah, I just have a regular bow.
Crossbow expert also, for whatever reason.
It applies to me, yeah.
The rules are written, it applies to all of the games.
Yeah, so unless you have that,
you have disadvantage if you're doing,
you could stab him though and you'd be fine.
But, bow specifically.
Unless you use your feature, but then,
I mean, unless you want to use your thing,
but then that would be kind of pointless too.
Yeah, yeah.
Unless you want to take out the guys that are shooting.
Well, I mean, I have dudes right up on me,
so I think what I'll do instead is use my long sword.
So...
Yeah, pull that long thing out.
Yeah, buddy.
Shout out to Nick's a while ago for giving that to me.
More so, I grabbed it off of his back
and then I gave him something in return.
But I'm gonna swing at the guy directly next to me.
Does a 13 hit?
13 does not hit.
All right.
Well, I have two attacks, so...
Hmm, pulls.
I think I'm just gonna swing at the same guy again.
I have some ideas, but that's for later.
21.
21 hits.
All right.
21 is a D10 plus two.
10 damage.
Come on, these guys are bees.
That's a little hard.
Let me check some stuff real quick.
None of these guys look particularly important, do they?
They all just look similar to the one
that you guys have in the face,
like the angry wildlings.
Oh, okay.
Yeah, if I were to move one space closer,
would that give them an opportunity attack?
Yeah, whoever you're moving away from.
So it would be the chicken boy next to you.
These two guys.
Yeah, they're within five feet of you,
so it would be those guys.
That counts as flanking?
No, no, so if they're within five feet of you.
Oh, just in general.
Yeah, so right, yeah.
Okay, well then in that case, that's my turn.
Yeah, so if you're moving away,
since they're both within range.
Nick, is it your turn?
I rage.
He's been waiting to do that.
Okay.
It's a secret, he's always raging.
I'm always raging.
That's why he's always poking everyone.
I got a good one.
You know what that is?
Two.
So I teleport around for our bonus action.
30 feet.
Starting next turn, right?
Starting next turn, yep, because it's a bonus action.
Uh.
I guess.
You're gonna start killing?
The guy, yeah, the guy.
Right to the left, right, yep, him, yep, him.
I won, all right.
I hit him.
All right, go ahead and roll a hit.
Does a 19.
19 hits?
God, I hope so.
Uh, 16 damage.
16 damage, all right.
He's still alive.
I hit him again.
All right.
Dirty 20.
Oh yeah, it is.
Seven, oh wait, no, upside down.
12 damage.
All right, this guy's no longer alive.
All right, Nick, that guy's no longer alive as well.
Cool.
I will.
Fuck.
I guess, fuck it, I guess I'm gonna try
to walk all the way around.
Oops, sorry.
Let's see how many I have.
Yeah, okay.
Five, 10.
Staying within.
Bam.
Flanking.
So you can pass by one of them.
Cool, yeah.
All right.
By who?
This guy.
When he went around, he went for this guy, right?
Does a 19 hit?
No.
All right.
Yeah, so he missed.
Cool, that's my turn.
All right, was it on him?
It was your turn?
Um, so bless.
All right, it says, I already had the holy water out,
so I might as well do it.
It doesn't say I have to see them.
It says you bless up to three creatures
of your choice within range.
Yep.
So I'm gonna cast it at the second level
and then give it to four people
and I'm gonna give it to.
What's the range on it?
30 feet.
Uh, I mean, I'll pull out the motherfucking.
Somebody get a ruler out.
10, 15, 20, 25, 30.
Pull out the motherfucking ruler here.
You think that's within 30 feet?
Touch, I mean, the touch.
Five, 10, 15.
Two squares touches, right?
Square to square?
Yep.
All right.
So, so I will cast it at the second level
and give it to all of, everyone except me.
So it is a D4 to your attack rolls
and your saving throws.
Eee.
The wizard's like, yes.
I'm actually so bad at concentration saves.
I will.
Doesn't hurt.
Take the opportunity attack from this guy here.
All right.
So then I just back up one space.
Okay.
Let me see.
That's gonna be 16 hit.
16 hits.
Five damage.
Okay.
Can he make a dexterity saving throw?
Yeah, sure.
I rolled a natural one.
Natural one.
So he's gonna take full damage on 2d8 here.
This is my reaction.
Nine damage.
And that's my reaction.
That's my turn.
Perfect.
Maroon.
It's your turn, Maroon.
Okay.
Um, I think I'm gonna just hit somebody.
Either cat's winning.
I hope so.
I'm gonna stab him with my dagger.
This guy with the cat.
Yeah, I'm gonna say.
I don't wanna do this.
I don't wanna do it.
I feel bad for him.
What is your name?
He casts these hands.
Okay.
That's 21.
Oh, that hits.
What's that plus dance?
Um, so that'd be 12 damage.
Um.
And I don't know, but I'll do a three.
He's pulling in heroes.
19.
19 hits.
It shouldn't be this funny.
16 damage.
All right.
Okay.
Seriously?
He's just blowing.
My second is 14 plus.
Whatever I said earlier.
Oh, that hits.
Okay.
Highest roll so far.
And then another seven damage.
All right, he's looking real rough.
I believe it was the wizard.
The wizard guy or the one that was out?
It was the wizard guy.
And so that one, yeah, that one was my attack,
my two furies and I have a final attack.
And my final attack would be Dagger.
I killed the guy.
17.
17 hits.
That's gonna be 10 damage.
Oh, you did.
How are you doing?
So like, yeah, I like stab him.
And like I said, I said I didn't wanna do this
and I stab him and then I feel bad.
So I just like, I hit him twice real good.
But then I see that he's like basically almost dead.
So then I'm just like, oh man.
I just like swizzed him.
And I'm like, oh, we better just finish him.
I did too much.
You see this guy just gagging at himself
and just dying on the floor.
Push him over.
Finish him.
I was like, why won't he die?
Yeah, this guy just bleeds out in the floor.
I'm originally gonna have to.
I didn't wanna do this.
All right.
Damn.
That's your turn, right?
Where are you still going?
And I'm just gonna turn towards where Nyx is.
Don't forget, you are blessed up.
You are blessed up.
Let's do that for the attacks too.
Attack rolls and saving throws.
You hit all your attacks.
Oh yeah.
Yeah, I went up here so I didn't get a chance
to say it on your turn.
Franklin, you're up next.
I would like to pump out a fork level scorching ring.
For so many G20s I'm about to roll.
First up.
Do you need more?
No, no, three's enough.
First up.
Cannon D4.
First up is gonna be the one that got
hurt by a reaction from the Saga.
Oh, that one died.
That's the one that got room killed.
Oh, is it?
Yes.
Oh, okay.
Well, I'll target the one in front of Luzanna anyway.
Could you move across to get like super advantage
for all those dice?
Why?
You don't need it, but that'd be crazy.
We rolled six dice.
Oh right, okay.
That's a 19 to hit.
I'm gonna hit.
For that first one, these are all individual race.
I'm gonna be rolling a couple few here.
That's gonna be 10 fire damage.
That one in front of Luzanna.
He's looking real fucked up too.
Okay.
Come and see where these are coming from.
Yeah, they're just coming from nowhere.
Just a scorching ray out of nowhere.
Second one.
It's gonna be a 27 to hit.
Oh, I hit.
For another 11 damage.
Oh, he's dead.
He's dead?
Yep.
What are you gonna kill him?
Like, I want all the scorching rays,
the two I fired there to just barely like miss,
like the Luzanna just like go past either side
of his shoulders.
Had this guy burning alive in front of him.
Yeah, I think that was,
and I looked behind me and Luzanna looks behind him
and he thinks that he did that.
He's like, what the fuck is that?
My god really does love me.
Yeah.
What have I become?
In the middle of a battle.
You're right.
Then I'm gonna hit, go for the one next to
the Garmor's.
God is good as they say.
That's gonna be a 32 to hit.
Oh, I hit.
For five fire damage.
I follow that up with another one.
How many did you get?
You casted a four double.
It's gonna be a nat 20.
Oh yeah.
So that's gonna be nine, 10, 12 fire damage to that one.
And here's my last one.
Jesus Christ.
Is he dead yet?
He's still alive, but he's looking real bad.
Damn.
Okay, so that's gonna be a 19, 30 to hit.
30?
He picked up his favorite, he wasn't looking.
He's looking at a 30.
That's gonna be a nine more fire damage.
This one?
Yep.
Hell yeah.
I also have a moan so I can go.
What?
So you still have that?
I still have that.
Q, Q, Q, Q.
Out of nowhere.
I have no doubt in my mind that Yohoros
is gonna count that kill to himself
because he's like, I hit him and I'm in my summer form
so I must have set him on fire by the grace of God.
Have you had a long day to keep your invisibility?
Everyone's like, that's my good Michael.
I just said no.
And then I'm going to start moving.
You can keep track of your kills, I don't need to.
So it's five, 10, 15, 20, 25.
Damn, I'm gonna get one of this session.
To flank there.
And I have a bow sectional in my hand.
Yeah, I'm good.
All right.
It's your bad guy's turn.
What bad guys are still left?
They're gonna go ahead and just kind of, let's see.
They're gonna move in there and try to flank.
You said flank?
Yeah, flank.
So move this one over here?
Yeah.
That one's gonna move this, yeah, they're gonna try to.
All right, they're gonna attack, actually, Franklin.
Which one is Franklin?
This one.
Okay, you're invisible, so.
Yep.
Okay, cool, I just wanna make sure.
Oh man, so they're gonna attack.
You don't have to roll to keep your invisibility?
No, it's greater invisibility.
You're just invisible for the next minute.
I thought greater invisibility, you still have to roll.
Because invisibility would drop,
but greater invisibility, I thought you had to roll,
but you have a really good chance to keep it.
The one that's still,
one of them's still kind of hanging back
and you shoot that.
It's in my concentration.
You know, however he saw you.
But does it, I'm assuming a 13 don't hit?
It does not.
All right, yeah.
And then two of them are gonna take a swing at you.
16?
Yeah, hit 16 hits.
All right, that's gonna be seven damage.
Ah, you cast seven.
And then 19 that hit, so that's gonna be another four damage.
And then the other guys are gonna swing on,
that is, Nix is that, no, Nix is over there.
So I think that's a-
That's Harun.
Harun, okay, Harun.
Two guys swinging on you.
I brought some squids for you.
And one that's in between me and him.
Wait, so-
Why not?
Who's doing the tags?
That's me, that's LizardGlobe.
This is LizardGlobe, this is me.
This is all you're gonna hit first.
What was the hit?
So this guy's hitting?
21.
It was a hit.
That's a hit.
Now you get, so it's gonna be seven damage.
Oh, Jesus.
And that's gonna be 19 to hit.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's gonna be-
It's the same guy?
Or is it this guy now?
This guy, yeah, okay.
All right, so you're hitting this one, okay.
Eight damage for you.
So-
15 total.
And then the other guys are gonna be hitting-
What about this guy?
That is a-
Oh, that guy really needs to hit.
Okay.
And then those three guys are gonna be attacking.
So one of them is attacking.
Actually, they're all-
I will protect.
Two of them are going for-
Next one is going for you.
The one that's getting this one.
That's a s'mores cake.
Thank you.
The one that's flanking you is gonna-
This one?
Yeah, that one is gonna hit you.
It's a straight roll.
Does a 16 hit?
No.
Okay.
What's the health one before it?
Doesn't that one hit him?
No, you do not know.
Huh?
Oh, yeah.
Okay.
It's funny.
Even if they try to hit me,
Jaylen's just like-
Fuck you up.
26 damage.
26, yeah, I guess dead.
Oh, the guy in the middle that we had flanking.
Two of them swung on you.
One of them rolled a 16, the other one rolled a 22.
That hits, the 22.
That's gonna be seven damage.
Okay.
And you know, Tavis is the top nine.
Yeah.
Well, that's why I'm raging, so I still have.
Okay, cool.
So that is their turn.
It is now your turn to go harvest.
All right, I'm gonna go ahead and roll a swing at this guy.
We'll be watching you though.
Yeah, I got Benadryl in my bag, I'm pretty sure.
You have advantage.
Wonderful.
Because of Franklin's flanking.
Franklin's flanking.
You are blessed too.
That is true.
Bless up.
That is true, all right, so.
I mean, dirty 20 plus 24, so yeah.
So that is a D10.
I got him swinging at him with my long sword,
my song lord.
Five damage to him.
All right.
And then, you know, I'm just gonna go ahead
and swing at him again with my long sword.
15 or 14.
All right, so that's another dirty 20,
technically a 23.
And then this time I do eight damage.
All right, you know what?
He's hurting.
Are you doing anything against bonus?
No, there's nothing that's terribly advantageous right now.
So that'll be my turn.
Nix, it is your turn.
Nix can, the blood loss is there.
You see the look in his eye.
I was gonna say, I know Gonsal's got allergy pills.
Yeah.
So Brian, you gotta take enough of Benadryl
to see the hat man.
No, because then that fucks up your heart and liver
and also the hat man doesn't leave after that.
You just have him for the rest of your life.
You will owe him money.
What's the hat man?
You don't really know.
Take enough Benadryl to see him.
Now we just, it's just a good-
It's real and we'll get into it later.
Really?
I would love to hear that.
Just watch a podcast about it.
We'll get to that later.
Anyways, Nix, it is your turn.
Roll the kill.
I want to use my bonus action to teleport behind the guy
on the other side of Lasagna.
Ha ha ha ha ha.
The other side, so like right here.
Yeah.
That's 30.
Boop.
Nice.
Ha ha ha ha.
Yeah, the two guys were like, what the fuck?
Lasagna, do you see?
Like right behind the guy that was hitting you.
Yeah, just hit him.
Here, he's like, fuck.
Yo, they tried to flank.
With greats eyes.
They tried to flank, but now these guys are off light.
Yeah.
19 plus shit.
Three hits.
22.
Oh, that hits.
19 plus shit, man.
I hate it.
And I'm going to use, actually before I do that,
sorry.
Can I actually walk, oh, I'm so sorry,
to like right here.
Mm-hmm.
Okay.
So I'm gonna use my sweeping attack.
Ooh, you'll maneuver?
Yeah, I maneuver here.
Um, and I will do.
So that's 11 plus 10.
21 damage to the guy on the other side of the lasagna.
Oh, fuck yeah.
Still alive looking cool.
Six damage to that guy that Mark's touching.
All right, yeah, that guy is still looking hurt.
All right, I do it again.
All right.
Where's my fucking G4 at?
I don't know.
All right.
This guy got another.
17, oh there, there's the timeline.
Plus four, okay, 30 something.
Oh, it hits.
Yeah.
Uh, this time I'm reversing it.
I'm gonna hit the guy.
Hit him for, still gonna use the in sweeping strike.
12.
22 damage.
That guy's dead.
And then that other guy gets hit with five damage.
All right, that guy is still barely alive.
I action surge.
All right.
I hit him again.
You wanna move back in?
No, I'm just gonna hit him from here.
All right, yeah, go ahead and roll the hit.
Yeah.
22.
Hits.
You're gonna kill him, so how do you wanna kill him?
This guy, I'm gonna purposely cut his whole thigh off.
Oh.
Yeah.
Thank God I don't have an issue with blood anymore.
Yeah, you see him just take a leg off this guy.
I'm gonna use 10 movement speed.
Take a leg.
I'm gonna use this, I'm then gonna get in between.
I'm gonna get right here.
10 feet up?
Yeah.
And he's gonna hit the other guy.
Is that guy still alive out there?
Yeah, he's here.
On touch.
He was shooting from a distance,
he's kinda keeping you like.
Oh my God.
A distance.
I'm gonna hit him.
Is he flanked at all?
Since he's in between three of us?
Nope. Nope.
You don't have pack tactics, so.
Fuck.
I'm gonna do something.
I'm gonna do something opposite.
Yeah.
All right.
That one sounded like it got a good roll on there.
You got a D4.
Yeah, if I four got a four, and then that's,
and I couldn't tell if that was 11 or 17.
It is a 17.
Probably hits you.
Yeah.
Has he been hit before?
Yeah, we were in a room.
Ah, okay.
And that's, I'll just hit him normally.
That's a 15.
15 hits.
15.
15 damps.
Oh, 15 damps.
Oh yeah.
That guy is dead.
Yes.
That's my turn.
All right.
It's gonna be,
Lazare, you're on a turn actually.
Lazare, you're on a turn.
These guys get picked off real easy.
They roll back.
And then they're dead.
Ah.
They have one of them.
It's kind of what my plan was.
Can I,
can I use a thorn whip
and try to hit this guy over here
and then pull him closer to me?
And then we switch to sweet nothings?
Yes.
Oh yes, yes.
So that's gonna roll the hit.
21 to hit.
All right.
Plus 11.
So,
yeah, he needs,
how does this work again?
It's, I don't think I've ever,
it's been a while.
I think it's the usual hit
and then it's like a standing throw too.
If the attack hits the creature,
it takes 1d6 damage
and the creature is larger or smaller.
You pull,
oh, it just pulls it.
And you're gonna do 2d6 damage
because you're low over level five.
Oh yeah.
I'm a level six druid.
Yes.
So, two.
Oh, that's just total level two.
That's not just levels in your class.
Oh.
Oh, I thought that was like,
you're, okay.
Just your total class,
not total.
Your total level.
Oh.
Well, that's only three damage.
Yeah.
Rolls like shit.
But I want him to be 10 feet closer to me.
He's closer to you.
And no safety sign.
And then,
Come hit off.
I'll just, I'm gonna need,
I'm gonna have to bonus action
healing word myself.
Cause nobody else has really taken damage, right?
I'm taking a tiny bit of damage
so I can just self heal.
I'm taking a little bit,
but not a whole lot.
I'm half.
They haven't seen me off.
I am half.
Yeah, you guys are over Franklin.
Am I within 10 feet of him now?
Yeah, he got pulled in.
Okay, I know where Franklin is.
Actually, wait, where are you?
No, I'm more than 10 feet out.
Oh, you're 15 feet.
15 feet.
Damn.
Actually, you have not come within 10 feet of me
since I moved there,
so you don't know.
So yeah, five more feet.
Hee hee.
So I told you he got that blind side.
My boy got that blind side.
So that guy got pulled in for the-
All right, that's my turn.
All right.
Haroon.
That guy got pulled in right there,
so you are flanking him now.
And he already did take damage from the blind.
Okay, I wanna attack him non-lethally.
All right.
So I'm gonna punch him.
Split his throat non-lethally.
He has to sleep.
Stab him in the fat of his ass.
It's fine.
All right, so.
That's 14.
14 doesn't hit.
Actually, you're flanking him, so.
Oh yeah, that's right.
Yeah, you got it.
Oh shit, yeah, that hits.
Okay.
You do have a plus D4 back there.
It is.
Everybody forgets about the D4.
Man.
That was missed.
That was pretty rad.
The D4 is the only thing dragging me over 30.
That's how I get my perception into 30.
That's five damage.
I'm gonna punch him again.
And then.
Plus D4.
They're both 17, so I'm not sure.
Both 19.
Yeah, it's gonna hit.
That's eight damage.
All right.
Still alive?
Yep.
All right, purely non-lethal blows.
That hits.
That's the first blow.
Another five damage.
All right, he's still up.
Looking more and more right now.
Second Fury of Blows that hits.
That one's nine damage.
All right, he's knocked out.
He knocked the fuck out.
Yeah, he's knocked out.
I'm gonna leave him on the map.
And I'm just gonna say, don't kill this one.
He's fine, just hit someone else.
He just clocks the guy in the face, just drop.
Go to sleep, go to sleep, go to sleep.
I was gonna say, it wasn't just one clock.
He is like, we like empathetically go,
please just go to sleep.
And then he turns around to the other guy,
we only needed one.
Honestly terrifying though, to have like a,
just a robot just asking them to go to sleep gently,
like in his voice, like, please just go to sleep.
He's just whippin' his chin out of them.
That's also terrifying,
because how does a robot know what sleep is?
He sees us sleep.
Yeah, but like, he watches you sleep.
Okay, so I'm gonna say that's it for my action,
and then I'm gonna move right over here.
He's just happy to see me.
And that's it.
Okay, Franklin, it is your turn.
So there's a guy falling.
Franklin was like, first thing I do,
kill that guy in the ground.
Yeah.
To the ground.
Everybody can see me, right?
Okay, I think what I will do is I will
bust out the old cantrip,
and hit him with a,
okay, I don't know if I'm gonna do this every time,
but I'm gonna try out all the things today.
So I'm going to green flame blade that guy.
You gonna give my D4?
Yep.
Go for it.
Hey, you got a four on that too.
That's gonna be a 21, 28.
Oh, it hits, yeah.
Is that good?
Okay.
Four.
What do you think this guy you already hit, so?
An eight, so that's 11 piercing damage,
three extra,
three extra fire damage,
and then-
No, he's dead.
He's dead.
It's perfect.
The green flame is gonna jump to me,
so I'm going to take five,
10, I'm gonna have that, 10 fire damage to me,
which I'm gonna have,
with absorb elements.
I said I'm using all the things.
Yeah, I'm gonna use all the things.
I'm gonna cast that at the third level.
All right.
And then, myself set on fire.
I'm going to go five, 10, 15, 20, 25, 30, 35, 40.
Jesus Christ.
Holy moly.
Oh wait, I should probably make a concentration check.
And-
Are you invisible and on fire?
Well, yeah, that's to make-
That's crazy.
You think this is a green flame just walking?
Yeah, so that's gonna be a 17, 22,
to keep concentration on my-
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.
Hits my fire deo.
Oh my God.
And then I would like to hit him.
All right.
With regular attack.
Yeah, he's freaking the fuck out.
A fire just came up to him.
Dude, I'm freaking the fuck out.
All right, and that's gonna be a 17, 21, to hit him.
This is alternate universe Moses.
It is.
All right, and that's gonna be with my regular damage,
eight coupled with,
all right, that's gonna be eight regular damage
and another nine fire damage.
As my flame transfers to my blade and I stab it in his eye.
He's still alive.
Hurtin' real fucking bad.
I would hope so.
I think that's all I can do.
I just have a bonus action.
I will bonus action Crest his face and say,
soon baby boy.
All right, so it is their turn.
He's going to disengage and run.
30 feet, so he's trying to fuck out of there.
He disengaged.
He's running.
No, I figured he'd disengage.
Yep.
And he's down, he's faster than me.
Where are you going?
Stop that.
The other guy is still alive.
He's gonna attack Harun since he's right next to him.
Damn.
He disengaged.
Yep.
I'm assuming eight doesn't hit.
That's their turn.
Your turn.
He says you can go to sleep too.
You see a guy that got hit and he's trying to run away
and there's one of them there.
I am going to murder to myself after seeing all of the
invisible, well, invisible, but very clear and present
bloodshed happening in front of me that wasn't necessarily
my doing.
What the fuck?
You saw the fire moving.
Yeah.
I legitimately think I'm hallucinating,
but I am going to be using my bow and I'm gonna be shooting
at the guy that's running away.
All right.
Shoot him.
Do I still have advantage on this or no?
No, not advantage, you have a d4.
Do I have a d4?
All right, let's see.
Well, that's 16 to hit.
16 hits.
All right, I'm gonna be using one of my plus one arrows
as well.
All right.
So this does a d12 and then also plus three, so.
Plus one.
D12 plus two, so plus three total.
Oh, okay.
I misspoke.
I went to school for art.
All right, so that is Kot.
Kot.
Yeah, yeah, cock a roll.
Eight plus three is 11, 11 damage to that guy.
Yeah, that guy's, you see him try to run
and then you see an arrow just hit him
right in the back of the head and he just drops
and Franklin doesn't get a chance to,
and you hear clapping.
And then Derek's current.
Yeah, you see this guy running and then you see just,
huh, right in the back of the head.
Yeah, you're gonna get hit.
So there's one more bad guy up and there's one unconscious.
Right into our ambush.
Next I've set you up for advantage right now.
So he's right over there, so what are you gonna do?
You still have one more attack.
You want to use your base.
Oh yeah, that's pretty right.
Yeah, that guy is still.
I shoot the other guy with my fucking boop.
All right, hold on a second.
That is an atropony.
Oh, yeah.
I shoot him.
Takes half an hour to slap.
All right, I'm also using another plus one arrow
because I have more of those than my regular arrow.
Did you roll your T4?
For his natural 20.
24. 24.
Let's go, we'll come to clutch.
You're absent, dude, I couldn't have done it without you.
No problem, that's what I'm here for.
Now, if we don't have that, we miss by like,
I swear to God.
It's a nine plus three is 12.
But you double that because that's your T.
21, yeah.
So this guy is...
21.
Yeah, I got that too.
Good, I got a good hit, yeah.
I just say, you could go to sleep too,
and then he falls into my chest and I'm like, aw.
You see that arrow just go through the back of his head
and he just falls into you?
I'm just like, oh.
Oh.
He's just dead.
And you see, your harvest just looks at you and just.
I do, after I see that everyone is now dead,
I'm just gonna fucking put my bow across my chest,
put my hands on my knees and say,
what the fuck is happening?
I walk, are we out of initiative?
Yeah.
All right, I'm gonna walk up to the guy tied up
and I'm gonna yell, I got five.
I can make it six and I stare him dead in the eyes.
Oh, he's unconscious.
He's unconscious, yeah.
All right.
You guys haven't tied him up,
it's a randomly stealing contest.
So I got...
I'm gonna tie him up.
You're gonna shackle him?
Oh, okay, nevermind, he'll shackle him.
I'm gonna have the electric shock shackle,
so we have a use for it.
We got two.
Y'all were counting?
I thought we had the count going.
Oh, I didn't kill anybody.
I got one.
You killed one.
You're going to knock that one.
I got five, you got one.
Yeah, I got two.
You got two?
Yeah, because I got the arrow.
I need to start making groupings actually appropriate,
but this one was supposed to be next.
How many did you get?
I got five.
Harun got one, did you like it?
I got one and then one unconscious.
Yeah.
I know I got at least one by you.
Me, it was ten.
You got two by me.
So I got four because I also went to the guy out there.
No, he ran in and then he died.
Yeah, so I got three.
Yeah, nice.
So next, you're still ahead.
I can't remember how much money you guys paid
between you guys and the players.
I'm not even involved in the bet portion.
I'm just here for the fun.
He does the bet.
Are you still staying invisible?
I only lost a minute, so I drop it.
I got a side bet that I'm saying
that I could have the most just unconscious,
but I'm not betting he gets anything.
Yeah, so you guys are going to shackle him?
You guys are going to wake him up?
Once he's all shackled,
I want to be shirtless before Lazzang wakes up.
You want to take off your armor?
I'm going to take off my armor
and I want to be standing over him bare chested.
Are you keeping the title belt on?
Yeah.
Okay.
Literally nothing but the title belt.
I'm the only one with the title belt.
Yeah, so the title is just covering your junk.
You know, I was thinking,
I was like, I should knock him unconscious
so he can interrogate you.
And then I remembered who doesn't interrogate.
And I'm like, oh yeah, this is why I felt bad that one time.
And then I killed him.
So yeah, you guys shake him awake
and he just sees you.
He's like, oh, what the fuck?
Hey, big boy, how you doing?
And you see, he spits in your face.
Oh, okay, cool.
What health is he at?
I have protective.
What health is he at?
He's barely alive.
Okay, I spit back in his face.
Matter of fact, and I'm willing to roll for it.
I wanna grab him by his face, fry his mouth open
and spit in his mouth.
You want me to strike?
You do have advantage.
You can't resist because he's also shackled.
Yeah.
I think that's a ranged attack actually.
Uh.
Plus seven, 20 something.
Yeah, you got it, yeah.
You just gotta shackle him.
He's like, what the fuck?
He's trying to resist, but you're just so glad
they have a shotgun.
He just keeps trying.
You guys witnessed him just spitting in this guy's mouth.
And then I'm going to put my hand over his mouth
so he can't try shit.
All right, I'm gonna walk over to this guy
and I have a dagger.
I'm just gonna run the flat side along his cheek
and I'm gonna whisper to him,
do you have any idea who you're messing with?
That's a rhetorical question.
You know who I am.
You know who we are.
That's what I thought.
Total waste of self-pervasion.
Matter of fact, Vizagna, heal him up real quick
so I can fuck him up.
I'm just trying to...
You know.
So.
I feel like I, something, I have a feeling
that my god is in good grace with me right now.
So I don't know if I want to heal him like with magic.
Vizagna, don't heal him.
We're the war dogs, baby.
Hoo, hoo, hoo.
Wait, I have one of those potions.
If I could just mix.
He's going to attempt to bite your hand.
What are we trying to do?
I thought he was covering his hand.
No, they didn't know it was on there.
No, he put his hand over his mouth.
What are we trying to do?
You feel him trying to bite you
but your hand's too strong
and he's trying to bite you.
Power over the water is information.
Yeah.
We should let Hyron ask the questions.
Okay.
Let me just make sure he's healthy
and I'm going to use one of my health pots.
I'm going to forcefully make him take a health pot.
Could I just throw out a suggestion?
So before he puts the other potions.
He's blinking in character.
He's blinking at you in character.
He's not saying.
Are you doing this before you give him the health potion?
Or are you doing this before I force you to throw the potion?
Yeah, you're not stopping him.
If you want to just, yeah,
Nix, if you want to slow down a second,
I think you're going to have to stop yourself.
Okay, okay.
Oh.
You look at my boy here.
Yeah, I'm going to.
As you're doing that, Nix is just doing pushups.
He's got some angry needs to work out.
So he's just.
I'm not doing shit.
I'm literally standing over him, pecks out.
Flexing, he did it the whole time, just flexing.
Oh no.
What you got, Franklin?
The old family special.
I'm going to look him right in his eyes
and I'm going to cast suggestion as I say to him,
you're going to answer every question that Harun,
put my hand on Harun's shoulder, has for you.
To the best of your ability and as honestly as you can.
What's the save?
Save is a.
I got 18.
Oh cool, it's a wisdom saving throw.
Oh, what is it?
Oh no, nevermind, it's 16.
Oh, that's okay.
The DC was 19 anyway.
Oh yeah.
Oh my God.
I was like, wait a minute, wrong, yeah.
The wisdom is 16, so.
See, we don't have to do things the hard way every time.
But I like the hard way.
Oh, he likes it hard.
Don't waste your potion on scum like this.
Okay.
Yes, I mean, he's pretty pissed and he's still just,
the whole time just kind of courting you,
he's like, you pieces of shit.
Harun.
Kill my family, you fucking assholes.
I'm going to like press the edge now of my dagger
just enough into a skim to draw a little one.
You're edging him right now?
I'm edging the fuck out of him.
You have any idea who I am?
Glad I don't have the headphones on for that.
What would have fucking came?
And arrived.
For the audience at home right now, you're hard.
He's gonna skip this whole section.
Fast forward.
It's winter in his pants right now.
You're gonna listen to his back
and this whole section's gonna be like
really shittily edited and like what happened?
We'll skip all over again.
You can skip the hard part, that's fine.
There's the storm of ruin.
Everything else though is in.
No, you can't skip the hard.
He's gonna hear one little hint of that whisper
and go out in like five minutes.
Okay.
He's like, wait, I need to finish and then I'll delete it.
So Harun, kind of like brushing people to the side.
And he leans in and he says,
you're lucky.
You're alive.
I saved you because I felt bad.
But if you won't help us, then I don't have to feel bad.
Fuck your mother.
Why did you help kidnap the Garf family's son?
I don't think I've ever told you.
By who?
Big guy.
You know a name.
By who?
Oh, his name is Big.
Why do you listen to him?
Because he's big?
Yeah, he's fucking scary.
Harun, could you ask him to describe the man, the big one?
Yes, and I'll actually break out a piece of paper
and a pen and be like, please describe him for me.
I'm gonna try to take a caricature.
I'm like a police sketch artist.
A police sketch artist.
A business.
It's just a big wall of scars.
Okay, so I'm gonna start drawing.
I'd like to fast forward this.
If I have to roll for it, I will,
but I'm basically, every time he tells me a detail,
I'm just like, oh, it's not like that.
Roll me performance and see how well you.
Performance?
I do, because I'm...
I was gonna say guidance, I'm right there.
Yeah, because this is just, you're trying to gather the...
No, I've drawn a lot of people already.
Oh, you have, yeah.
Do I get advantage of this or is it a straight roll?
It's a straight roll, but it's a...
Do I have my proficiency bonus?
Yeah, you are proficient, yeah.
Okay.
Especially since you're a cartographer.
I had 17.
That's a word for it, right?
Yeah, a word for it.
17 plus, I don't know.
You got it, yeah.
Was that, now looking at this,
is that the Goliath that we fought?
He looks like one of those.
Oh, a D4, so that's already 21 plus proficiency
and all that.
Yeah, so he looks like he could be that one
or someone similar, but they all kinda look
similarly battle hardened, so.
But I do get a pretty good actual picture
of who it is.
Can any of us roll hindsight on the picture
to tell whether or not it was the one that killed him?
Roll me history check, see if you guys remember.
All right.
I'm gonna cast guidance on myself.
I know I wasn't at that fight, but just in general,
can everyone just do the same?
See if you recognize the balance.
Okay.
Here.
I'm 18.
21.
Scars don't seem to match particularly the ones
that, from the guy you killed.
This guy hasn't.
Same as him.
Yeah, so it's not the same, he looks similar,
but this guy has more scars on his face
than he described in the one you killed.
I'm gonna address the halfling, correct?
Yeah.
Well, I have good news and bad news.
We do notice that this halfling is like,
his skin's darker, his teeth look a little more
animalistic, he just has more animalistic features
than the regular halfling.
Feral.
Yeah.
I say to him, well, the bad news is,
is obviously you're the last one here
and we're not done with you yet.
The good news is, is we have nothing to do
with this big piece of garbage.
We didn't kill this one.
Do I get anything different on the front?
I got a 21.
So you know this is, you've come across them
from your time in the war, you know,
they're probably talking about the Spadicus clan.
What?
The Spadicus clan.
Yeah, you heard it right.
Spadicus.
Evil, dumb dragon-bearers.
Yeah, so the rest of them are aware of it,
so you know them because you've had run-ins
with the clans, so you know they're a group
of dangerous goliaths who are,
they have since aligned with the Emerald Claw,
so you know that, at least for me,
you know that these guys are aligned
with other bad guys.
They might be responsible for who killed Frankie, so.
Does he wear jewelry?
What?
Rings, necklaces, anything?
He has a cool sword.
How cool?
Oh.
Um, it's black.
Where is this guy now?
Yeah, where is he?
And then I pull out a map of the area I've been making
and be like, hey, then just show him a little bit.
And be like, this is here, this is here, this is here.
Where are you guys at?
I don't know.
Well, I mean, you made it here, how'd you get here?
I followed my friends.
Which, so somebody had to pick up the trail,
so which one of your friends over here
that's dead is the leader?
I don't know, there's a lot of people dead
and there's a lot of people that...
What did your leader look like?
He's a halfling, my size.
I don't know if he...
Are you the dumbest out of all the ones in your troop, or?
That's a rhetorical question.
What does rhetorical mean?
Fuck you, that's what it means.
He smits in your heart with his face.
Please heal him, I like the lasagna.
Please heal him.
That being said, I'm going to take the edge of my knife,
which I have not taken away from his cheek,
and dig it a little deeper and...
Just curious, Nix keeps saying to heal him, but why?
He's at one HP, isn't he?
Yeah, yeah.
But do we still need him?
I want to fuck him up.
You must fuck him up.
You wanna fuck him up?
I wanna fuck him up.
He's mean, very spiteful.
Have you ever heard the expression,
beating a dead horse?
I don't care.
Here, I have Nix come over to me,
and I show him where the little shock button is,
on the manacles.
It's like, will it kill him?
No.
I press it.
I'm going to move away.
Actually, it will kill him,
because it will do damage, so.
You said it won't do damage,
because that was the whole point of it.
Oh, you're right, yeah, we changed the...
That it won't do damage,
because we didn't want to kill him.
We did change, I couldn't remember
if we changed the guideline on it.
Yeah, so it will stun him, so.
He'll have to roll to be stunned,
and he is stunned.
Yeah.
Cool.
And that shit hurts.
Nix, it hurts.
So I was going to say,
it's like those little prank things,
those prank shocks,
like if you pull something, it shocks you.
Yeah, Nix, you see him start seizing on the floor,
he's like, ugh, ah!
You want to spit on my friends again?
He says, fuck you.
I press it again.
So, I think, honestly,
the best thing to do is let this guy go.
Let him go?
Have you lost your mind?
Yeah, let him go,
because don't you think he would be embarrassed
to go back to his clan anyways?
He's probably going to die out here,
which is what you guys are probably going to do anyways.
Let him figure it out on his own.
This whole time, Franklin's been looking real confused,
and then he's like,
it's like he has a little epiphany,
and he goes, oh, and he wakes up Lasagna.
Let him go.
Yeah, let's do that.
Yes!
Wait.
Are you, all right, so,
what are you guys doing with him now?
So, are you guys going to be checking
the rest of the bodies or so?
I will handle this guy before I check bodies.
All right, yeah.
And you see him just kind of like,
like, you're a whole bunch of pieces of shit.
Why?
All I'm saying-
Why do you think we're pieces of shit?
You killed, you're getting in the way.
Getting in the way of what?
Progress.
We want to go back to how it used to be.
Real quick, point us in the direction
of where you came from.
That's what I asked him.
I even showed him a map.
He said he didn't know.
I'm going to pick him up physically.
Point us in the direction of where he came from.
He points east.
All right.
Are we going to believe him?
Oh no, he has to tell the truth to her room.
To her room.
Yeah, is it east?
Yeah.
He suggested to tell the truth
when you talked to her again.
Is it east?
I repeat.
He says, I think.
Inside check.
Is it the way you pointed?
Inside check.
There, go ahead.
I'm going to-
That's a narrative.
I'm going to take him looking for the others' pockets.
Ooh, natural 20.
Yeah, that's right.
You don't even know if he knows what east is.
Yeah, so that was going to be my follow-up thought.
It's like, I think we let the most useless one alive.
Yeah, so as you're checking the bodies,
you do notice that they're wearing these clothes
that were helping them kind of like blend in.
I'm just going to start collecting them up.
All right.
So they are kind of like, some of them were torn up and-
Yeah, but they could make a whole one eventually.
They had so many of them.
Can I roll to see if they're magic?
Yeah.
You can roll.
Oh yeah.
Carnage.
So actually, I'll wait and talk to you about that.
Yeah, I'll put the carnage on you.
You roll our carnage eggs so you can get them.
You have your, fuck what you call it?
Yeah, my magical ring to detect magic thingy.
Yeah, they're magic.
Okay.
Yeah, I'm gonna-
Oh fuck yeah.
18.
Yeah, they're definitely magic
because they're kind of using them blending.
And he also just, so you're collecting,
you see him starting to collect.
There's only about, maybe seven or eight of them there
because you guys did incinerate two people.
You guys diggered a bunch of the bodies,
but I mean, and then a lot of these have holes in them
and stab marks and yeah, you can collect them.
So, if you are searching, I'm going to investigate you.
I'm gonna hold up this half-way and look to the group.
Do we think we can get any valuable information out of him?
I think we've gotten all that we can, but next-
He spits in your face again.
Okay, I just drip him naked at this point.
I'm going to drag his ass across the floor.
As you're dragging him across the ground, I tell you.
Now hold on a minute.
I like where your head's at.
I have an idea.
What is the idea?
Because as you're talking to me, I'm not going to stop.
I'm going to drag his naked body to a dead body,
lay him on flat and get my sword above his head,
get ready to kill him.
We can continue dragging him.
Does anybody have a rope?
We can tie him to the cart.
I have rope.
This guy spits.
And one-
He's a spitter.
The last-
He's a quitter.
When he spit in your face last time, there's blood in it.
Okay, cool.
I'm going to put my foot on his face.
All right, yeah.
Any last words?
No.
I kill him.
Yeah, I have two.
Six or Nix?
I'm going to throw out a-
Franklin's going to throw out a point order.
I do have one.
That doesn't count.
Wasn't even actively resisting.
Six asterisks.
Honestly, that's the most merciful Nix has been so far.
Yeah.
It was progress.
Franklin does spitting not count as resistance too?
I'm saying six now, guys.
I'm curious why everybody we capture-
Some of us can be bad at counting.
For some reason has the mental fortitude to hate us,
or is that just conveniently a gonzo thing?
Because honestly, if you're kidnapped,
I don't think you're just spitting.
You'd be afraid to die.
Yeah, well, the thing is these guys are-
Cultists.
No, well, so you do notice that their features are-
So yeah, they were deformed.
Yeah, they didn't look like-
They had some mutations.
They didn't look like normal.
Yeah.
Which is, I did forget about a question
I was going to ask about that,
but I figured he probably wouldn't know.
Yeah, because they look more like feral.
Yeah.
But it's gone on like also,
like they started transforming to something else.
You're like, this isn't natural how they look.
Yeah, it's the goddamn witch lady.
Yeah.
I'm going to turn to the team.
I'm somewhat sorry, but also I think he was useless.
So I'm not too sorry.
Like, don't get me wrong.
I'm not disagreeing with you that we got to kill some people,
but you know, the guy was already on his last leg.
Let him try to fend for himself.
He spit in me and Yohara's face twice each.
We also killed all of his family.
You didn't really-
They chose to sign up for that.
We did lose friends.
They weren't really caring much.
I mean, you found them just like scraps.
Like you said, he didn't really help.
So Maroon does not feel bad.
And then-
I was kind of looking for any clues or whatnot.
No, you didn't really find anything.
You found a little bit of gold, but that's about it.
We did get it.
How many coax and snag off the bodies?
You got, I'm going to roll a-
I think you said eight.
But they were like, holy and shit.
Yeah, so you got-
I'm going to take from a church.
I just like how many intact ones, I guess.
Oh, intact?
There's only like three of them
that are like kind of intact.
They still have holes in them.
They're the most intact,
but they still have like sad marks because-
But I mean, you can always try to adjust them.
And then there's about like four other ones that are,
five other ones that are just torn to shit,
but you can try to do something with them.
Yeah.
Well, toss them all in the old pack.
Next, I do think that we still got some information
out of him.
We know that there are seemingly multiple
of these halfling clans roaming the area
because the Goliath that Harun was able to sketch
was not the guy that we just got done killing.
I agree.
Cool. Gives me a second chance to kill Goliath
because someone took it from me.
A kill is a kill.
The Black Blade, does that kind of like,
has, have we, well, I'll just ask.
Has anybody, like he's mentioned something
about a Black Blade.
Has anybody ever heard of a Black Blade before?
It's gonna be history check,
so if anybody you know, it's gonna be high DC, so.
I can tell you this, it sounds necrotic.
21.
16 plus, what's that for, six?
I rolled it.
What's it for?
I don't think I had it.
Are you perfect with this one?
Roll an agile for me.
Specifically with magical items.
Very specifically that.
There's just one.
Is it a magical item?
Yeah, it's a magical item.
Woo, yep.
So whatever, 16 plus six is 22.
So you know that you've heard rumblings
of like a legendary evil sword,
so you think it might be that.
You don't know exactly what it is,
but you think it might be like a legendary evil sword
that's been talked about.
So you know there are certain items
that are certainly evil and powerful,
so this could be one of them.
Yeah, I think it's like some kind of legendary sword.
You're not gonna mention that other word there?
No.
Did I get the rest of that from my history check?
So you don't. 21.
21, so you know the same thing,
that it's like an evil item.
You don't know exactly what it is,
you've just heard tales of it,
but you know it's a powerful evil sword
that has been talked about before.
What about me?
My total is 20, but it wasn't that.
Yeah, same thing.
So all of you kind of hit the same threshold.
You know it's an evil item.
So you've heard stories of it,
but now you know for sure it's real.
Nick.
Yeah.
That's an evil sword.
Yeah, the bullshit.
Who decides what is and is not evil, right?
We do.
We fought a whole war over it.
Ah.
Remembering hearing stories about it.
Looking to heart.
Sorry.
You know about general history and this thing.
With the background where I'm coming from.
You do remember it was like,
you've heard rumblings of people who were,
you know, obviously it was an acromancer, someone in,
so you know this is associated with the demon form,
most likely.
Okay, good.
But I didn't have like a specific wielder name
or anything like that?
No, you just heard kind of like tales and like,
you thought it was like one of those things
that people in battle talked about,
like, oh, I saw a guy carrying a thing.
You're like, oh, that's just probably a war story.
You're like, oh, fuck.
Call Black the Necro Sword.
Okay.
That's what I'm saying.
I think you might need to be pure of heart,
but I'm pure hatred, so I think I'm okay.
He goes purely the other way.
So, knowing that info,
that's gonna be fun to deal with.
Should we load up the cart?
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
Oh, wait a second.
We have a ranger here.
They walked here.
I can track them.
Ha ha ha ha ha.
Rangers can do that.
Ha ha ha ha.
That was in character, by the way.
Yeah.
Yeah, so let me pull that up.
Can I help him?
Yeah.
Because I'm also a fellow nature friend.
I'm a friend of nature.
Yes.
I'm a friend of nature.
Fun fact, and this is just a fun real world fact,
is that the word druid roughly translates
from Irish into English as ones that speak with trees.
Really?
Yeah.
That's pretty cool.
It's the first, like the prefix deru
means like usually tree or oak,
and then the last part, I forget what like the
approximation is before it's anglicized,
but it's like to speak with.
So, the morax canonically,
he's a druid.
He speaks for the trees.
Yeah.
We do.
All right, let's see.
Uh, da da da da da da.
And while tracking creatures,
you learn the exact number of sizes
and how long ago they passed through the area.
And we're in your terrain, right?
We are in my favorite terrain.
Fuck yes.
But, uh, I don't know what I would roll,
probably, you tell me.
Survival?
Yeah, let me survival check.
All right.
With help.
All right.
And guidance.
I'll be guided.
It's like, oh, I have to help for him to guide.
I'll do whatever.
It's my shoulder, like my hand right on his shoulder.
19.
Did you roll with advantage?
Yeah, roll one more time.
He was helping.
Yeah, he didn't have the help action.
He's got advantage.
Yeah.
Yeah, 19.
All right, yeah, it's 19, yeah.
See, you do notice like, um,
all the tracks kind of looked like
they were kind of scattering,
and then you kind of did notice they all just,
coincidentally, they all are coming from the east.
Looks like he just got a lucky guess.
I mean, he's just a one for a chance.
Yeah.
As I'm like, looking in the brush
and differentiating like animal markings
from small halfling footprints,
I do look off into the east, and I muttered,
son of a bitch.
All right, well, he was right.
They were heading from the east, randpastard.
Well,
I have, I wipe the spit off my face.
Some feelings about these people,
but we also have somewhere to be.
That information broker needs to speak with us
and pass on to him.
I have a feeling like he's a man
that can find us wherever we are.
I think if we head east,
cause we know where the way to track them now,
we won't necessarily have this way to track them later.
They are no-mans.
True.
Yeah, and something tells me that,
I feel, I've heard of the information broker.
I feel like he can find us.
I'm budgetary for it, right?
Well, I'm always down for a fight,
but I'll leave it up to the rest of you.
I hop on Y'Harris' back and point to the east.
Hey, you gotta turn up those air light rays.
Yes.
Ah, the nemesis.
Y'Harris, you let him jump on you and just.
Oh, I'm full of delusion and religious vigor, absolutely.
You just start charging.
You just.
Yeah.
Just on a half-warp, but skittling at full,
full walking speed.
I, as we're fucking charging along,
I'm gonna say, tonight we are Coralon's favorite.
Huzzah!
Yeah, so you guys are tracking back for about like,
about an hour or so, and you find,
like there's a camp that,
and you see like some firewood today were set up last night.
There's, so you guys are about like 100 feet from
and some brush and you see there is like maybe about six of them
still at the camp.
Six of them?
Yeah, sure.
Hold on, hold on.
I was about to ask that same question.
Do we just see them?
Do we don't see a Goliath or anything?
No, so you guys are kind of scoping.
Actually, we're only scoping Jackson.
Okay.
If you guys are, I'm assuming you guys are gonna just
throw up the bummer.
If we have time to sit and, short rest, essentially.
Well, we were in the cart if it was riding.
Like, I was, that's why I said to him,
I want to sit in the cart and short rest.
You guys about an hour to go.
Would I be able to?
I wasn't.
If you want to sit in the cart and.
Fantastic.
I would like to use my hurricane recovery.
Okay, I would also at some point would have caught
your heart off of your heart, the shoulders.
And you see, as the next goes in the end,
you see him just taking a quick nap in the cart.
As the bar, everybody's taking a nap and I pull up to it.
It's a 28 for my perception check.
Yeah.
Everyone's kind of like doing their short rest.
So you guys are kind of resting up and, oh shit.
Yohara's.
Do I also get a short rest?
If you're resting in the cart.
So whoever's resting in the cart is resting in the cart.
I feel like Yohara's probably, well.
You're gonna fuck Shack and they're gonna medicate him.
No, well you were the one tracking,
so you wouldn't be able to short rest.
You're right.
I'm gonna go piss over there.
All right, perfect, yeah.
So you guys kind of pull up,
you guys kind of abruptly get woken up as,
Lazaga just says, we found them.
As he sees there's six of them at the camp
and they're kind of just looking at it as like a,
looks like they're packing up and getting ready
to like head out.
But it does look like this is where they were set up
last night.
Do you guys want me to scout it out?
I can do so remotely without any danger to us.
I mean, yeah.
I think that would be smart.
You know, I think you two could be pretty handy.
Maybe Yohara's whenever he's done doing Yohara's things.
This is something that doesn't need help from others.
Yeah, I was gonna say, we've seen this man go
and come from invisible.
I just wanna make it a team effort.
I'm sorry guys.
What is this?
And Nick's like, I can't do this well.
If Nick's wasn't so about the kills, I might believe him.
Just being a team effort.
Well.
But no, no, not to start a thing, just to investigate.
Franklin, I barely know you, but I trust you.
Well, well, it's the way of you.
We haven't known each other long.
And I'm not gonna lie.
I do say, wait, do you have a way of communicating with us?
Yeah, I'll say right here and then I'll just relay
whatever I'm seeing to you.
Oh.
By not moving from this location
and thus being able to talk with you, you know,
mouth to mouth.
Oh.
Mouth to ear, I guess.
That's weird.
Okay, I would love to see this.
Okay.
I just, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Arcane eye.
Okay.
And I just loop an invisible eye
and I just, it's up for the next hour
and I just send it into the camp
and just physically look at everybody in there.
Yeah, you see them, they're packing up.
Some of them are eating and some of them are
gathering what supplies they have.
Looks like this is where they're probably coming back to
because there's food, there's other barrels of stuff, so.
So is there only, there's only six?
There's none like in, inside a tent or anything like that?
Because I would be able to,
I don't know if there's an inch gap.
The tents have been kind of packed up,
like this is like them getting ready to head out.
Like you assume they're talking about waiting for their,
because with the arcane eye, you can hear it.
Or they just.
No, I can just see.
Oh yeah, you just see them kind of packing up
and just kind of gathering.
It does have like a 360.
But you just kind of see them
just kind of gathering their things.
Okay, are they all dressed in the same manner
as the ones that ambushed us?
Yes.
There, nothing like special about them beyond the.
Yeah, and then, but they do have,
it looks like a cart that they're loading supplies on.
And they have a.
Okay.
Who's their leader?
Can you hear while you're doing that?
Yeah, I can just mentally receive the visual information
from this thing, so I just, essentially.
I don't think I even have to,
but for this moment I'll have my eyes closed
and I'll just be like, okay.
So it looks like there's only six,
there is only six of them.
They're all packing up.
None of them look particularly special
or different from the ones we fought before.
What do you guys, do you guys want to
let them go and track them?
I think that would be smart.
Let them go as far as we can and track them
until we can't hide any longer.
Then we go from there.
Yeah, I think.
I think that sounds like a good idea.
Yeah.
If I could, I'll summon up some help
just to keep an overhead eye on them,
if that's cool with you guys.
Yeah, so you see them.
They are tracking the ways here.
They have some claw foots they're using to.
Okay.
Pull the carts and you see them
as they're whipping them to make the cart move.
Okay, yep, they're headed out.
They're kind of heading towards the direction
that you guys came from.
So they might be going in the direction
that they're heading.
So they might be going towards us.
Towards us?
Yeah.
Well, they're not too blind.
We won't hide.
We hide.
Yeah, I was gonna say, is there any brushes?
You guys kind of in the brush,
but you guys do have cart film.
Can we take the scraps of the cloaks
and try to hide the other ones?
Well, do you relate to us that they're coming this way?
Yeah, they're coming.
I'm watching them do it.
Okay, so pass.
Pass without a trace.
It's still funny.
It's still the cart.
All right, you guys roll me some stealth check.
You guys have stealth.
The cart gets a plus 10 to it.
Ooh, the 29.
My stealth check.
Wait, plus two.
31, thank you.
Oh wait, disadvantage.
Straight rolls, that's still 31.
36.
All right.
Thank you for that plus 10.
19.
That's with my plus 10.
That's 19.
22.
27.
All right, yeah, you guys are stealthy shit.
What, was it 27?
It's a world 19.
Yeah, so you see them kinda like,
they're probably about 56 feet away from you guys.
They're not even really paying attention.
You see more so like, they're kinda just trying to,
they're also kinda just following the path
of where their friends were coming from.
So you see them, they're probably kinda retracing
to go toward them.
Well, if they're gonna-
Union rules, they get a break.
I was gonna say, if they funnel,
if they're gonna funnel right where we're going,
I'm just gonna hold off and wait to see what everybody else does.
Oh, and then as nature men,
they are being really easy to follow.
They're kinda just whipping them in.
Oh, yeah, that's right, you did say they are.
I'm like simmering.
I'm like bubbling at the edge of brainwashing them.
I still think we should follow them.
Yeah. If we can.
On the off chance that we get noticed,
I'm gonna hold an action to shoot them with my bow.
Well, you guys are, I mean, you guys are still pretty well-made.
What if they're just going,
what if they're going to us where we were?
I think that's okay,
but I think they'll see what happened and be like,
we need to go, we need to report,
we can't do this on our own kind of thing.
I mean, they did the 12 dead bodies versus zero bars.
Yeah.
So, I mean, we could try to like outpace them,
maybe to hide the bodies,
but I feel like if we just let them see it,
get scared, go back wherever.
So you think we should leave here now?
Because correct me if I'm wrong,
but in our favorite terrain here, Mr. Nature Ranger Man,
Yes.
We don't leave tracks, do we?
We do not.
So there isn't any tracks like leaning away from there,
from where we got ambushed to where we're at now.
Our tracks are covered, my friends.
So I'm just thinking like,
they'll just see a bunch of dead bodies there
and go like, oh shit.
Well, their intelligence isn't very high,
considering that.
It's like a food stock to the weird man.
I think the question is,
do we let them pass or do we move?
I think that we should let them pass,
but I also don't think that they're going to become afraid
of all of this.
I think that this is only going to make them more addictive.
What about the cart?
Mike, are we just leaving it?
Cause like we did travel here on the cart.
Okay, so we're leaving ahead of them
or we're letting them pass.
Let them pass.
So the cart is also stealthing?
This cart is stealthing.
We're stealthily driving the shit out of this cart.
Pass it out of the trades, baby.
Yeah, they're still going.
They're kind of getting towards,
so yeah, you guys were kind of tailing
and following them for about an hour, just real close.
As they got to get towards the bodies,
you see them just all look at them.
And then one of them you see takes out my cart.
Actually, go ahead and look for stuff and check
so you guys don't know about them.
Got it.
Thanks.
No, not yet.
23.
15.
30, 20.
16.
Natural 20.
Yeah, you're distracted by Franklin.
You turn around and Franklin just staring, just daggers.
You're so stuck.
I got a 15.
I'm not focused on, I'm focused on this thing.
Yeah, you got one eye.
You're just, just anger.
Honestly, I think I'm still dissociating
from that last fight after all the people.
You still, no, yeah, you're still just,
yeah, so Franklin, you see,
you guys got about, what did you get?
20.
23.
And Earl, what did you get?
16.
Yeah, you guys got to see this.
So he grabbed something from the cart and you see him
pull out a thing and you see him just kind of light it
and then just, some of this launches in the air.
Okay.
I told you there wouldn't be a friend.
That's okay.
More, more, uh,
what was it?
More company.
Yeah, more fire.
Yeah, I can get my total up from six.
So yeah, as a military man, I can tell you right now,
there's going to be more coming.
So do we wait for them to come now
or do we take care of these guys?
I think we, we, uh,
wait for them to come and see what happens.
All right.
Do we stay?
Yeah, we're staying still.
Can I climb a tree and still?
Yeah.
So yeah, so yeah,
so you can see like a red smoke thing.
I guess, yeah, if it's close enough for them
to see that smoke, it's close enough for him
to be here soonish, right?
Yeah.
But then, yeah, you see,
so you see them light the smoke
and then you see them get in their cart
and then they're kind of, they're looking around.
They don't really, they're kind of looking around
and you see the dead bodies
and you see them gathering the bodies as they, I mean.
Did they notice the guy that was stripped naked
laid on top of another man?
They just, I mean, a lot of them is in their clothes
and they're all just.
Hey Nix, it'd be pretty fun if we took them out
and waited in the cart for the reinforcements, right?
Or do we wait?
Or.
Cart.
They're inside.
Ah!
Trojan horse, their own cart.
Oh, shit.
Crampons.
I love everything that you just said
and I now want a second cart.
Yeah, let's do it.
So I'm just saying, if you guys can get me in there.
First cart can pull the second one.
I can handle it from there.
That's what I was just thinking.
So it's not the biggest cart
because these guys aren't traveling like super heavy.
It's okay.
Still more than we had.
Yeah, so it is.
They're gonna first of all cramp inside.
It's not a covered one.
So it's more so like a smaller one that you can kind of just.
Like a wagon.
Yeah, so like a wagon, a small wagon.
Yeah.
Yeah, so they did like that
and then you see them kind of just looking around
and they just start booking it.
In the cart?
Yeah, well they get the claw foot
and they're on them and they're just
whipping the shit out of them.
They're just.
Can I shoot at one of them to try and engage
so that way they will stay.
You can and then we'll go into this one.
All right.
Well before I do that, what's everyone's thought on that?
Can we close the gap a little bit for ye olde barbarians here?
Yeah, how far away is it?
So you guys are about 100 feet from them, so.
Yeah, so for ye olde barbarian, can we close the gap?
All right, you guys start running towards them
and then when you get within like 50 feet,
I'm going to take my shot.
Yeah, so they're kind of going back towards the east again
and they're kind of just.
Oh, they're coming back towards us.
Yeah, because they're scared kind of just going back
and then you see them kind of like talking to each other.
Should we?
We're standing off to the side of the path, like hiding.
So does that mean they're like moving back in between us?
Yeah, they're kind of just,
they haven't seen you guys really, so.
Should we be following them still?
I know we did that with the original plan
and now we're moving to engage.
They lit a flare, but I don't know.
If they lit a flare on the coming back our direction,
then maybe it's probably best to follow them again.
All right, I'll hold on.
That's about two cents for as far as.
No, that's fair.
I think we follow them until they go up
into too open of a land for us to steal stealth.
Once it starts looking like we won't be able to self anymore,
then that's when we will engage.
All right.
Sounds fair.
What color was the firework thingy?
Red.
Do we see which one of them had that
or do you pull out of the cart?
We pull out of the cart and then lit it.
Yeah, so you see them, they're heading east.
So as you guys are following them,
so you guys get like about close to where the camp was.
How hard would it be to just shoot the reins
that are attaching the dinosaurs to the cart?
They are moving, so you would have to.
If we could move a little bit.
Oh, what?
A double explosion.
Oh, oh, I mean.
Yeah, so then, so you guys are getting past the camps
and then there is less and less brushes to get more open.
They do start turning around.
Let's see if they notice you.
So they kind of turn around and they notice you.
So it's been around like 20 minutes
after you guys passed the camp,
they turn around because there's less grass.
Maybe it's more open than the grass
and they kind of see you guys.
Oh, that's why I specifically started waiting
until we would hold off engaging
until they start getting to that area.
So we would stop, we would engage
before they would turn around and notice us
because we know when we were running low on Stealthing area.
We got 20 minutes to talk about this.
Are we trying to keep any of these guys alive or?
I think we keep at least two this time
because the one was an idiot.
Two is fine.
And at that, I'm going to shoot them with my bow.
Yeah, so you.
Fireball.
Fireball?
At the cart.
Okay, go ahead and roll.
So we go at the cart.
At the back of the, oh.
That's fine.
I was like, are we, yeah, I think that would be
one last discussion we would have before we go.
It was like, who's starting this fight?
Is it Y'all Harz or are we going Fireballs?
I'm not aiming for the claw foots.
I'm aiming for the back of the cart.
Okay.
If I could have this file ready,
I can get you right into the action.
I would like to be right in the action.
The ones like, so they're shoving the cart and pulling it.
So if you were to hit the cart,
it's still going to kind of project it
and they're getting pulled by it.
So it's going to still hurt them.
If the Zogna things is going to hurt the claw foots,
he's not going to.
Yeah, but they're the ones pulling the cart
so the cart is going to hurt them.
Yeah, yeah.
If the Zogna things is going to hurt the claw foots,
he's not going to cast Fireball.
You know, that makes them, that would still hurt them.
Yeah, so there is four claw foots as they're pulling on them.
You're horrors.
All right.
Go right ahead, shoot that bow.
Oh yeah, 19 plus seven, 26.
Yeah, as you see them kind of going down,
go ahead and roll damage.
All right.
Kiddie, kitty.
This also has plus one arrows.
Kiddie.
Nine plus three is...
11. Yes.
12. Yes, 12.
It's actually 21.
What's nine plus ten?
Yeah, no, ideal 12 damage to the guy.
Yeah, you see as one of them is going,
you see that he gets hit and he falls off his claw foot.
He's trying to hold on and he just tumbles over
as the rest of them kind of like gather around.
They look and see that they draw their bows
and they see you guys.
Roll damage.
They should be surprised.
Oh, they are, but one of their boys just got hit.
And then he just killed him.
I accidentally just rolled a d4 with you.
Like as if I cast Guidance with it.
Guidance.
Guidance on my initiative.
Does that mean we have a round before they go in
because of the surprise or?
So they aren't surprising to work
because your heart shot them.
I thought that was what initiates the surprise.
I thought that was the surprise.
Yeah, that was the initiative.
Oh, so you guys, okay, yeah, yeah.
Okay, so you guys were, how did you say?
So your heart was saying you guys all get one attack
as far as the surprise.
So what were you doing here?
So how far are we away?
So you guys are trailing them by about a hundred feet.
So that's within his range of shooting.
Are you going to wait,
because you can shoot them from that range
or are you going to wait until they get,
until your friends are closer to hit them?
Oh.
Because then by that point, they also will be spotted
because you're going to be closer to them.
I think 100 feet's reasonable.
Yeah, I call it that.
If we're about to get discovered now's the time.
Yeah, I think so.
So you guys are trailing them by about a hundred feet.
So what's the range of shooting?
Are you going to wait,
because you can shoot them from that range
or are you going to wait until they get,
because you're going to get discovered now's the time.
Yeah, so you guys are about a hundred feet from them
and then Yohara just shoots them.
Cool.
Yeah, so my thing would be,
if he says like a hundred feet,
I guess we'll be working back.
And then what did everyone get for initiative?
Did we do initiative?
Nine, so I'm probably last.
I think we're all getting a little turn here.
I also work in nine plus 13.
Yeah, well you guys all have your,
so if you guys have anything within range or anything,
you know, to do something.
That's not very much, trust me.
Uh, so, sorry, let you finish your thing.
I'm trying to run up like the 45 or whatever.
So I'm in about like, you know, like 50 feet away.
And then, can I use both my tax actions
to just throw two darts?
How far can you throw?
Oh wait, darts are different.
Nevermind.
Yeah, so as you were shooting your-
20 feet is short, 60 is long,
60 is the long.
And fucking sprinting, matching the speed of your-
Yeah, I'm gonna just throw two darts at disadvantage,
I guess.
Oh, I'm gonna smile like a son of a bitch
while that's going on.
You see him just sprinting
and you see him just throw darts.
Seven plus.
Oh boy.
Seven is 14.
14 does not hit.
Okay, another dart.
You could step on one and get out of the way.
Huh?
Nothing, ignore me.
Did I use 45 feet?
Let him play.
You said we were 100 feet away,
so I used my 45 walking speed to get in.
So, I wouldn't have any more move,
or are you talking about the bonus action?
For the step to win?
I guess that's what I'm thinking there.
That's what I probably should have done.
We said I'd do that instead,
that I use my step with the win for the bonus action
so I could get closer to regular rain.
Sure.
That's what I've done before.
That's actually really close.
Okay, so now,
I think you can get all the way on the line.
then that would have been,
that would have been 18 and 11.
18 would have been 11.
Okay.
God damn.
Okay, dart.
It's not that much, but.
I'm more talking about your movement.
Oh yeah.
Four, eight damage to one of them.
Oh yeah, so that's the one that got hit,
so he's looking real rough.
I was gonna try to buff you guys,
but now I can't buff you.
Yeah, so you don't do one thing,
so you can't buff them,
but he just sprinted, you see him.
Oh yeah, no, that was the plan,
but I can't get that.
Don't buff me right now.
Yeah, so as like you see,
like having some hits,
like you see like,
you know, Harun launched the arrow,
and Harun just like a fucking,
he's matching the speed.
He's like matching the speed of the arrow.
I like to go to throw the dart,
but I'm moving so fast,
I'm actually just holding it,
and then let go at the end of my movement.
As soon as you hit the end of your movement,
you just stop suddenly.
What's your base speed?
45.
Damn.
Actually, you know, technically it's 50,
because he said he fixed my leg,
so I actually have five.
It's 50.
So Step of the Wind would have been 100.
I actually could have moved right up on him then.
You could have gone 150 feet.
Yeah, if I used my action.
You could have run straight past him.
So I darted right before,
and then darted in there.
It's 150 feet in six seconds,
is what I'm far.
It's like the flash coming by you.
I swear, Step of the Wind, like.
You have your action, you have your action.
You gonna do anything?
You're gonna buff us?
I'm gonna do Bless.
You should do that first, and then let me do my thing.
Okay, I'm gonna do Bless at the first level,
and just Bless the three of them.
So Franklin, Yoharis, and Nyx.
Dope.
All right, cool.
And then once he does that, I'm going to.
Maybe I'm gonna move forward.
Sorry.
35.
Oh, okay, cool.
And they're 100 feet up.
Then I will turn to Nyx and say, don't resist this.
And I'm gonna hit him with Vortex Orb.
Yeah.
And I'm gonna pop you out,
what's his name?
Yep.
And I'll pop you out 90 feet up ahead.
Yeah, and then you're like what?
And then you just, and you're just like
10 feet away from them now.
All right, I'm gonna walk.
I'm gonna pray this is the one.
We'll see, boys.
Let me hope I get this one.
I'm gonna walk up right here.
Sorry, five, 10.
15 to the left.
Are they on the wagon?
One, possibly one more.
They're riding claw foots.
Let's pray.
There's two of them on the wagon.
Damn it.
And there's four of them riding claw foots.
What'd you get?
I was hoping to get a one.
I have yet, I wrote everything but a fucking one.
Oh, there's four of them riding claw foots.
Because then you get to one,
it's like the necrotic thing.
It does the one, D, 12, necrotic.
Yeah.
You would also write the claw foots down.
Yeah, I guess I worked out, I get a one.
Yeah.
Whenever I get hit, they take a D6
and then they take a D6.
Oh shit, what kind of damage?
Force.
Oh nice, okay.
Yeah, so.
And then I use my attack action.
There is one guy that's been hit twice already
by the dart and by the arrow.
Is that the guy in the front left corner?
Yeah.
Front right, front left.
Front left, so the one right here has been hit already.
His left.
Oh, my left, okay.
Ah shit.
Okay, whatever.
But so the guy's in the back, I guess.
Yeah, the guy's in the back, I'm not gonna hit yet, yeah.
But.
I think we have two different hits.
Yeah, this is the one I hit.
This guy, this guy right here.
This guy is the only one that's been hit.
Yeah, okay.
He's been hit with the arrow and then with the dart.
Your guy, yeah, his back and your back are two different things.
Did you want to hit him?
No.
It's okay, I was hoping for a one.
But I guess I'll just sweep and attack.
All right.
Sweeping attack.
You hit all three?
Yeah, he did, he, he, it's part of his, his claw.
Yeah, his, his, his.
He's got 21 to hit.
21 hits?
Last, all right.
Yeah, I didn't let him do the apple die
because I think his thing may have some deals to do.
What was the, what was the bandit?
Echo Knight.
It's five, eight.
18 damage.
18 damage, yeah, that guy is fucked up.
And the guy, that's the guy in the middle.
The guy on the back corner takes five.
All right, they're still alive, they're hurting.
Switching it now, I hit the guy.
You only get the one attack
and this is just like a surprise.
Ah, fuck.
Yeah, so this is just a surprise.
And then, so you get the one attack.
You already did your bless.
I think we were on duty.
So now we're in initiative order.
Cool.
So now we're doing initiative.
Nine.
Nine. 22.
Nice.
Yeah, and now I got a 20 and then I must turn.
16.
All right.
He fucking just yeeted across the battle battle.
Yes.
That's a gentle little bloop.
What did you get, Perlin?
13.
I got 18.
All right, cool.
Nick's your first.
Cool.
Now I will do hit the other guy.
Shit, sorry, Mike.
15 plus 11.
Oh, plus.
Nine hits.
Yeah, whatever that D4 hits.
So we can attack with the other way around.
Four, okay.
So that's gonna be 16 damage
and I'm gonna hit the guy in the back.
We got a guy in the middle.
And I'm gonna hit the guy in the back
who got hit with the five last round.
All right.
He'll take the 16.
He's looking real hurt but still alive.
His buddy is gonna take four.
Both of them are looking real fucked up but still alive.
Okay.
Then I
will do another
sweeping attack.
Another sweeping attack with the guy
in the front right corner.
And I'm gonna hit him.
Does a 19 hit.
Oh yeah.
And then, yep.
21 damage.
No, fuck it.
He's alive, hurt.
And then the person in the middle takes seven damage.
He is dead.
Cool.
Which one of these guys do you want me to pull?
Middle.
Yeah, I got killed.
So this is the most market for Nick's.
You're looking at me.
Put it over here.
Bam, Nick's on.
I will then step up into the middle of it.
All right.
Between all five of them.
Action surge.
Isn't there a dinosaur there?
Like these four head dinosaurs?
Did you, how many action surges did you get?
At least you're arrested.
Oh you're right, yeah you got it, yeah.
That means you hit the dinosaur too
if you did the sweeping attack.
I can choose attacks.
Uh huh.
Oh shit.
It's not like a blind tank.
It's a, so it's part of his maneuver for his own.
Oh shit.
So you were just like, you were just like woo woo woo.
He jumped up, he gets um.
He hit the maneuver.
He's that far, he gets certain maneuvers
he can use in one of the sweeping attacks.
It's pretty cool.
All right, this time I hit the guy in the front middle.
I mean front right.
Not him, but the guy next to him.
That one.
The guy that's already been hit?
Yep.
All right, you wanna go ahead?
I saw that guy's taking some damage already.
22.
Oh, that hits.
My last one.
That's four.
Okay.
Oh, nice.
Eight plus seven is seven.
25 damage.
Oh yeah, he's dead.
Cool, and then the other guy.
Who was the guy you just hit?
This guy.
Oh no, I meant to hit the.
That's the one I already did.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So that's the guy I was talking about.
Oh, this guy's barely alive.
Okay, cool.
His buddy on the front left takes seven.
That's my back.
This guy?
Yes.
Seven?
Seven.
Okay, that guy is dead.
So this guy's dead.
Cool, and then I used my last attack
on the guy who I just focused on.
All right.
That's a 19 hit.
Yep.
I'm just gonna go kill him
because that's probably gonna.
Yeah, five plus 10, 15 hit.
Yeah, he's dead.
Yeah.
So who's dead now?
That guy.
Yep.
Oh, sorry.
So that's three for now.
I worked out to send you up there.
Yeah.
It's all my guys.
He's got this.
Franklin.
I'm going to.
Take a nap.
Yeah.
GG, good game, guys.
His heels are ass.
Yeah.
I'm going to just
we're about to squirming Ray.
And.
You don't sneak up.
This healer is a hundred feet away.
What the fuck?
Yeah.
So wait, are we leaving any alive?
Yeah.
Yes.
Already.
There's no one alive yet.
Currently we've killed half of them.
So there's three alive.
Got it.
We want to leave two, so we can only kill one.
Understood.
Then I would like to bonus action.
Misty step.
We like it a little real sticky.
Actually, mine's still a little sticky.
So let me just move a little.
Okay.
So actually won't misty step.
I'll just put it to where I'm at.
And then I'm going to target the one that's injured
by her room already.
With
a
mind sliver.
And I would like to try to not fully hurt this man
with some psychic inner damage.
Just hit him with your mind blast.
Yeah.
So that's a intelligence saving throw.
Seven.
DC 19.
Yeah.
So that's going to be 2d4 damage or
Oh, 2d6 damage.
That's going to be five psychic damage to that guy.
Okay, that guy is, I want to bring him down.
Okay.
He also has a negative d4 to his next sign that he makes.
Well, since that didn't work,
I'm all
I'm all be the fun blanks out and pull out a
light crossbow.
Same guy, different guy.
Same guy.
He'll be two left to live the life.
Yeah.
That's going to be a
21, 28 to him.
Yeah, he's dead.
Yeah.
Whatever damage.
Oh yeah, he only had one hit point left.
Who died?
The one you guys have been peppering up so far.
Yeah, so I got
That's for Frankie.
Franklin.
Does he turn right Franklin?
Yeah.
Your heart if you're on deck.
It's not being comic buffy.
Oh.
You're right.
Yeah.
Wow.
There's a review that three or four or whatever.
Do you have an arrow that can shoot roadruns?
I have three.
Three.
You want me to blast rope at this guy?
No.
Now you're fighting this guy and I got them.
God damn right I did.
He's just great arrow, he's just like I got
It's a long white rope.
Yeah, full super.
But they're dead.
Oh dear lord.
Don't rangers also get like entangling strike
or something like that?
I don't.
And snaring, that's a bard thing.
It's snaring.
Yeah.
Only surgeon rangers get that to pay down subclass.
Or is it a ranger?
I'm just like a straight up ranger.
Like Yoharis is young for an Aladdin, he's 120.
Beautiful.
Was I like 12?
Basically, there's a lot of reasons why people
were telling me not to leave the Feywild
and partially it's because of how fucking young I am.
He's a baby.
Yeah but he's beautiful though.
Fuck you baby.
He's beautiful, we'll send your baby home to you.
Oh my god, we are traveling with a child.
He never told us.
Don't worry, you're only here.
I'm actually technically the most baby.
So I'm just gonna use my whole movement
to get as close as I can and then cast cure wounds
at level one on myself because I took damage a while ago
and I wasn't able to rest so that is one d8 plus one.
All right, cool.
Here's your movement.
And I'm getting four health.
And you're dashing?
Yes.
All right, Harun.
Your turn.
Okay, I'm getting here.
All right.
Time to miss these guys asleep.
And I'm going to...
Which one looks more hurt?
They haven't been hit yet.
They haven't been hit, okay.
At least you haven't been hit yet.
Actually wait,
uh, next dude hit one.
No, he didn't hit me.
No, no, he hit the other guys.
Yeah, I was very focused on my attacks.
Okay, then I'm gonna try to stab that guy
and then left him.
21.
Oh yeah.
That's 14 damage.
All right.
Then I'm going to...
stab the other guy.
That's 28.
Oh yeah.
That one's eight damage.
Okay. Then I'm going to do another fury of blows
and I'm going to go for the good left.
That hits.
That's 11 damage.
All right, he is looking really, really fucked up.
Yeah, just for fun, I'm going to make a mega con save.
Okay, what's the save?
What's the rule?
That's 11.
That's 15.
Yeah.
So he is stunned.
So as weak as he is, now he's stunned
with Nyx right next to him.
And then my other fury of blows
is going to go on the other guy.
Ooh, that one's 14.
14 is a net hit.
Okay.
Well, that one right over there is stunned.
And since he's stunned, I'm going to move over here
to give him a little advantage on this guy.
And then that's my turn.
Okay.
So I'm going to pull up my rope.
And as I'm pulling up my rope, I'm going to run five, 10,
15, 20, 25, 30, 35 feet.
I'm going to try to rope the stunned man.
All right.
Rope him.
You hog.
And since I'm from the South,
You're going to hog tie him?
I feel like I'm a hog tie this man.
What is that roll?
You can tie your shoes.
You can tie a man.
All right.
Well, that's a 10, so we're going to try that again.
That's an 11.
Is there a plus to anything?
Whatever your proficiency is.
Do you have a sleight of hand?
It's kind of an arm strike.
So you're kind of just trying to...
Well, if it's with my proficiency bonus,
that would make it a 15, I believe, right?
Yeah.
And I'm from the South, so that's like a double proficiency bonus.
They kind of have expertise.
Did you say ee-haw?
Yeah, ee-haw.
I'm going to say that.
You have an area of 10.5.
Damn.
Well, I mean, is he hog tied though?
Yeah, he's hog tied.
It could have been better.
He's not moving.
That should have been...
He's not moving, but he was kind of like at a stiff position.
So like, Lasagna was just like overtaking him.
He kind of just...
Yeah, usually it's a moving target.
So he is tied up.
He's tied up.
Is that your turn?
That's my turn.
All right. So it is the bad guys turn.
One of them is stunned.
So they can do the same for stunner turn, right?
I don't know.
I think he's stunned until his next turn.
Yeah, the end of my next turn.
All right. So this guy who is right between you guys,
he's going to attempt to get to the cart.
Is he walking away from me?
Does he down?
Because the cart is technically these two squares.
Yeah. So he's going to try to get to the cart.
So he is moving...
Whoop.
Okay. So he gets hit non-lethally.
And he dodges for me.
Non-lethally does 18 hit.
18 hits, yes.
Okay, cool.
And I also get an opportunity.
Well, he doesn't move from right there.
16 damage.
Oh, he doesn't move. That's right.
Because he hits.
Okay. Since he didn't move...
If he didn't move, then I don't get it.
Yeah, he's on legal play in his range.
Well, since he can't move, he's going to attempt to throw...
He's lighting a torch and throwing it at the cart.
He can light a torch and throw it?
Yes, but he missed it.
So the brush kind of makes the cart start to catch on fire.
Is he still alive? Or will he die?
Barely alive.
I did non-lethal, but I was enough to kill.
So yeah, so he threw a torch and like...
So he just lit the torch and threw it at the cart,
but it kind of didn't really hit.
It's kind of sparking the fire next to the...
Something tells me he was going to try and tell us how good his god is.
Yeah, so that's his turn.
Don't torch the cart. There's stuff in there.
So yeah, so the fire next to the cart is starting to catch.
So that is their turn. Yeah, we got stunned.
Nix, it's your turn.
All right, non-lethal. You're going to hit that guy again.
All right.
Twenty...
Yeah, hit him.
Yeah, plus a blast.
Twenty...
Three.
Yeah, and then he doesn't have much hit points left,
so you're going to just knock him out.
Cool, because it's going to be 17 damage to knock out.
Yeah, that was going to kill him.
No, pass.
Non-lethal, remember, non-lethal.
You see him go, but he turns and the end of the sword just knocks him out.
Like, this counts!
He turns his sword and just goes, doing!
And I'm going to hold it over him.
I'm going to hold it over him like blade, but look at the rest of the thing.
So does this count? Yay or nay.
As I inch it closer to his throat.
Hold on, we still need info.
I'm just asking if this counts or not.
It counts as that I have two unconscious.
Well, no, I only have one unconscious, but you have two unconscious.
No, you have one unconscious as well.
Which rune voice is this?
Well, I'm sorry, that was just saying at table.
We're tied for unconscious.
I would count that.
Then I think it should count for all of us.
I would try to put out the fire.
Yeah, he, you know, it just, he has a lot of fire.
I didn't help with that one.
Yeah.
Nah.
That was you.
Yeah.
He was the hardest to stomp out.
Yup.
Yeah, you see a hardest in the zhag with stomping out the fire next to the cart.
Franklin, can you check out the cart?
What did they got in there?
They were trying to burn it.
Yup.
I'll get up there and search the cart.
I have a feeling it's explosives.
There is a crate that's nailed shut.
Would you not have been able to see?
Well, how do you know they light it in the first place if they just reached in there
real quick?
So the crate's gonna avoid it.
I'm gonna probably open the crate.
Yeah, you probably open the crate.
There's a bunch of sticks in there.
Red sticks?
Yup.
With a big letter D on them?
Oh yeah.
Oh shit.
Guys.
Thank God.
I know I'm right.
I'm always right.
Dean's in for bombs.
I would say that's a good one.
Hey, um, Yoharis.
How strong would you say your arrows are?
I like what you're thinking.
Yeah, I would like to strap this mysterious red stick with fused to it.
Well, hold on a minute because I think I have something that I'm gonna start rooting through
my pack.
It's still vaguely smelling of quote unquote, bailed out.
Is dynamite like a normal thing in this universe to just have?
No.
No?
You see Filara come out of nowhere.
Where would we most usually find dynamite?
Mine!
So I mean, like, people in mines and other stuff like that.
So you guys are real far from a mine.
Well, I was gonna say the mines that, you know, the mines that are in the mines.
No, those were those were sewers.
Never mind.
Yeah, so you guys are far away.
The original.
We did find the other Goliath in the cave.
Above table.
Can you just give me dynamite and I could just you could light it for me and I just run
it in and then run back out.
So as I'm rooting through my pack, I realized that it's actually in my quiver and I pull
out an arrow that has like some bullshit on the end of it and I say, these can be lit
on fire.
I want eight of those sticks of dynamite.
This is a full crate.
Yeah, there's there's there's one.
I want eight.
I mean, I really don't care about that.
I open my pockets that are Frankie's old pockets and like we want to put them in here.
I'm taking two.
Well, that's exactly what I was going to say is I don't think we have that on our person.
We put that in a bag of holding or something.
You hear the one that starts like fuck, cook up the right shit.
Oh yeah.
You guys deal with that.
I'll try to talk to these guys.
I can join you with that.
So the one that's so you didn't have tied up, I'm going to still move over here and
I'm going to put the shackles on this guy now.
I want to wind them up facing each other before we wake up.
Yeah, yeah.
The other guy is stunned and tied up.
The other guy is shackled and unconscious.
I want to lay them prone facing each other.
Okay.
So before this guy hurts you, I just want to see if we can do this thing easy way.
Where did you get the dynamite from?
Your mother.
All right.
Can we wake up this other guy real quick?
The Vagna.
Oh yeah.
Let's wake him up.
Just shock him.
Tinnitus.
I just press the shock button and he wakes up.
He wakes up.
He's severely concussed.
I want to take my healing potion, but pour it on the ground right in between them.
And like if they want to know, they have to slip it off the floor.
You are wasting healing potion.
I don't give a fuck.
Yeah.
Make sure to mark it off your rejoice.
One of them just, he doesn't even know where we are.
He's like, where are you guys in my room?
You hit him real hard with your sword when you knocked him out.
So he's really fucked up.
That's up to him to decide if he figures out what the fuck is wrong with him.
You should have him roll a wisdom save to see whether or not he can resist.
Just be like, I don't want to live.
Yeah, so the other guy is just, he's furious, but he can't really do much because he's still
kind of stunned and he's tied up.
He's kind of thrashed.
Is he not going to go for the potion?
Huh?
No.
You're not going to drink it?
No, they're just there and they're kind of just mad.
They're just not even.
All right.
I leaned down and get down to their level.
So here's the thing.
I only need one of you alive.
Who decides who gets to live is up to you guys.
The guy that's, so you guys do know, it's the guy that's tied and riddling.
I put my foot on his neck.
It could be your buddy that lives.
If I could ask a question here real quick.
So as you're doing that, he does manage to cut his hand free and you take the dagger
and tries to stab him as you put your foot on him.
What is he roll?
Oh, he missed.
Roll back.
He rolled the six.
Can I cast Whole Person?
Yeah.
So next you see him just, he managed to get a hand out.
You see him pull the dagger and just.
Whole Person is about the same thing.
Yeah.
So you see him try to stab you, but he can't really quite get to you as you kind of just
force him down and you just kind of swing him.
He's awkwardly tied up, but he managed to like free one of his hands.
Now, why would you go and do that?
Now I gotta let you talk to my man Franklin before I take care of you.
Whole Person.
Alright, uh, Wizards save, right?
Yup.
Uh, that's a 14.
Fail.
He is held.
Alright, he is held.
I'm gonna walk over and just like, just take the dagger out of his hands and toss it way
far away.
Oh.
Yeah, I'm gonna rock him.
Which one do you want me to talk to?
Uh, here, let's do this.
We're gonna do tops and bottoms and I'm gonna take the top off of one guy and the bottoms
off the other.
That was a little weird for everybody.
I was like, I wanted you to talk to tops.
Why did you do that?
I whispered over and it's an humiliation ritual.
I think you just like it.
Next Sunday you'll understand.
Why are you hard?
Why are you always shirtless for this?
I don't understand.
He's like, I need this.
Then I'll gesture to the one named tops.
Yeah, okay, tops.
I'll tell you this, I'm old as hell and I don't think you'll ever understand it because
I don't.
I've never seen this before.
Yeah, so I rock up to tops and...
You're all slimy pieces of shit.
You should all die.
That's okay.
I'm just gonna say, I'm gonna snap in front of him so he looks at my fingers for whatever
reason and I'm gonna cast the tech thoughts and I'm just gonna ruthlessly go deep in that
shit to mine the depths.
What can you reuse?
With just the tech thoughts, I can focus my mind up for...
It's concentration for a minute.
So I can focus my mind on one creature to get surface level thoughts for free.
Whatever is most on his mind in that moment.
But as an action, I can shift my attention to another creature or go deeper and that's
a wisdom save.
Right.
So you just hear...
He's just thinking of what...
He's just thinking, God damn it, I don't know what he's thinking.
I don't know what he's thinking.
He killed him.
All right, so...
I need to kill them.
And then, yeah, so I'm gonna go deeper so if you could roll that save.
Oh, I thought that was the save.
11.
So on a 19, we're going deeper.
If it fails, you gain insight into its reasoning, if any, its emotional state and something
that booms large in its mind such as something it worries over, loves or hates.
It knows I'm doing this, right?
It's heard, it could basically do that.
Questions I ask it can direct his thoughts.
So yeah, going deeper, I say, who do you work for?
And whatever verbal he's saying, I'm just looking at him.
He's more swearing, he's like, you're a piece of shit.
Fuck you.
He's trying to say the same thing, he's trying to wriggle.
What is he doing in his head?
He's the guy in the stunts, and he's trying to wriggle.
He seems to be trying to say, God!
But yeah, in his head you hear him, you kind of feel like he, a lot of anger but also a
lot of fear as you see him just kind of flashback on seeing a Goliath just slice him.
The same one from the picture?
Yeah, seeing him just slice someone in half without even looking at it, just fear.
What's his name?
I don't know.
Where is he?
All here, he just kind of looks at you with fear, he's trying to talk but you kind of
just feel like you flashback to the camp you guys were at, the place where you guys had
slaughtered the rest of them.
I'm going to see if he has any details on that sword.
All he remembers is just killing someone instantly when he touched them, the blade absorbing them.
So normally you would see a body going away but as soon as the blade touched and just
sliced through him it just kind of absorbed.
What were they going to use with the Goliath?
Both of those questions, where to get it and what were they going to do with it.
Where did you get this dynamite from?
He just, we found it in his mind, he got it from the Goliath.
Where are you taking it?
Where are you supposed to take it?
Nowhere.
He just had a way to plant it.
Does he have that location in his mind?
Not location but they were planning on using this against the Gokul.
So he was going to just think of it.
They were planning on an attack.
Did you ask where their base was?
That was my next question, where's home?
He thinks of the cave where you guys had the massacre.
He wasn't there.
So you think of a cave and it's like a cave surrounded by a brush inside of a forest and
you're describing the base.
You see the ruins.
So he's describing this as you guys are kind of just like, god I'm just there.
So as he's describing it you guys are all like, oh fuck that's where we were and we're
into the life.
So we've been following these guys for, I mean I wouldn't say for no reason.
We got some good info.
We got this dynamite.
I think that we probably wiped out their last contingent.
One of them, the Goliath is still out there and I'm assuming he has more followers with
him.
Well we wiped out the one from the one that we were in.
Ask him if the Goliath hangs out with anybody else regularly.
Any other non-halflings that this one hangs out with?
Yeah, he's just saying he's the guy in the cloak.
Okay cool.
When did he show up?
Yeah, when did he show up.
That's where his thoughts stop.
He thinks about that but they just kind of stop.
Okay cool.
Weird.
Is he...
And then you can't really, there's not really much thought to be had besides that.
So it's almost as if there wasn't much else in there.
These idiots.
How long back can you remember?
How many years?
He's just looking at you and just kind of like confusion.
Who was the higher health of the two?
It was the one that was tied up in the rope.
They both have like one and two hit points so they're both pretty fucking weak.
Can I force him to drink that potion off the floor?
I don't think so.
I think his mind is broken like mine was.
I don't know if that will help.
But they pretty much only have one thought to just kind of kill.
Yeah sure.
Okay, well okay one last thing and then if it doesn't, whatever.
What are yous or yous to me?
He just, you just pure panic and just like fuck how do we get out of this?
What are you good at?
I have an idea.
I'm gonna like just search, like physically search both of these guys to see if they're
wearing any sort of jewelry.
Emerald jewelry.
Yeah, go ahead and enroll me in the investigation.
Can I give him advantage though?
He doesn't get advantage if they can't really do anything.
Oh okay cool, you get advantage.
And plus you guys are all scared.
Because of me and not the type thing.
It's because of Harun I get this.
I get double my bonus too because we still have my favorite terrain.
You were made for this.
So I'm gonna 13.
Alright, 15 total.
There's no next to anything for him but like his skin looks different and has like markings
on it.
What kind of markings?
Language you can't read.
Can I read it?
I motion over it.
No, no.
Oh it's, wait.
Can I take a look at it?
Yeah like, hey there's something you can read on one of these guys.
You pull up his shirt and you see like you can read it.
It's druidic.
It is druidic yeah.
Oh I got another question for the guy.
Has the goliath ever spoken like...
That's a missile.
He just, confusion, pure confusion.
He's never heard that from him.
He just doesn't know what the fuck just happened.
And then Franklin goes, well, takes out a dagger and sticks it through this guy's heart
and puts him down.
What does that say on him?
What does it read?
It just says, so it's just like a...
If lost please return.
Property of.
It's like a ritual.
It looks like a spell that kind of just wraps around his body.
It has just like, so it just kind of talks about like altering the form.
So it looks similar to like the writings you saw.
So...
In the fleshbound grimoire.
So he's just like, oh fuck.
You see Lizana's eyes just light up as he...
Does the other one have it too?
Yeah, the body's all...
Can we like scrape off a little bit?
Actually here's the thought.
Is it magical?
Like currently magical?
I believe the other ones were.
They are altered magically but it's not like the ritual thingy, whatever.
It's currently magical.
No it's not currently magical.
That's what they're like.
Yeah.
Looks like they were altered.
Okay.
I have the ability to dispel magical stuff.
Okay.
You wanna take some of the skin?
I'm just thinking about breaking the pattern in the rune.
The wearer's face?
No, I'm just thinking about taking out one letter.
It puts the lotion on its skin.
On that topic, I'm gonna go to the guy who just watched Frankie kill the other dude.
Franklin.
Franklin, sorry.
I'm gonna go to the other guy.
I'm gonna look out my dagger and be like, oh well, looks like we need some fresh skin
off of you son.
And I'm gonna sit down and cut that piece of stomach off of him.
Yeah, and that's enough to kill him.
Yep.
As you see him, Nix, there's starts slowly cutting and this guy just stops moving.
Nix, I'm not going to lie to you.
That was gratuitous.
But also, I understand you.
That was awful.
Do it again.
So yeah, you see you guys kill him.
So yeah, in the cart there is just like a supply.
So there's food.
There's water.
There's food.
There's water.
There's wine in there.
Looks like this is just like where they were using like just like stuff to move around.
I'm gonna have a bite to eat though.
Nix, you were a woodworker, right?
There's bread, dried meat, cheese.
A woodsmith?
Is a woodsmith.
I think just a woodwork.
You see like the harvest is just making a sandwich over there.
So do we want to write down who would have some of the dynamite?
Because your harvest said you wanted eight and then twenty.
I wanted to grab two.
Whatever is left can fit in my...
There's ten left.
Do you, Frank, Franklin, do you want any personally?
Of the ten left.
Lizagna has no use for the dynamite.
Yeah.
Okay, how many of the ten would you like?
You want five and five?
Yeah.
Yeah, I'll take five.
I have some fun things I can...
Can I make sure I'm already putting it in your inventory?
Already did.
Perfect.
Can I somehow attach their wagon to our wagon?
Yeah, you can do that.
The claw foot...
That's an item, dynamite stick.
You've got to release the claw foot there.
Oh yeah, I forgot the claw foot's were there.
I will cast...
We're still in the same terrain as the other ones, right?
Yeah.
Where...
What direction is the gar village?
From where you guys were coming up, it's south.
South.
So this dude was trying to light the cart on fire, not to signal, but to just blow everybody
up.
Yeah, you wanted a martyr.
Probably a combo of both.
Yeah.
If I'm gonna die anyways.
Yeah.
As Franklin said, his mind was basically just saying kill, kill, kill.
He was mutated to think like this.
Yeah, there wasn't like much sauce in the view of the cart, and they were just like...
I will cast Speak with Animals through my ring, and then release the claw foots and tell
them, head south, you'll find your...
You'll find shelter and or your family that way soon.
Are you pointing which way?
South.
Yeah.
Okay.
And you see them kind of just like...
Pointing right.
Perk up, and you're like, thank you, thank you, and they just start running.
No.
Lasagna feels good now.
Oh yeah.
After watching what the next...
Yeah, but what Nyx just did...
She taught.
But I mean, to be fair, I feel like after Lasagna found out that these things are like,
you know, genetically mutated to do this, it's like, it's probably not that big of a
deal.
Did you really?
They had permission to do this?
He didn't.
Oh, okay.
So I'm guessing that they ran into the Force, guys.
Not you.
The things that we ran into the Force again, not you.
It's a prototype for these guys.
I was about to tell them.
Very true, or a prototype for something bigger.
Yeah.
Because these are halflings, you know, like, we eat them for breakfast, as you saw.
But they didn't eat like those, that three-handed chimera, that's just...
I feel like that's just like a stepping stone of what we could see.
Yeah.
When we, again, not you, kill that chimera.
I would like to cast a Fetland of Second Thoughts on Nyx.
Tell me your secrets.
Alright, so you know, service level thoughts on corny...
Yeah.
For you immediately going deeper.
What?
Yeah, how deep do you want to go?
I'll get in there.
I'll fix your anger problems while I'm at it.
Is that wine local, by the way?
What is the nicest brand?
It tastes similar.
It's a Garclan.
Yeah, it's stolen Garclan wine.
Okay.
I'm just going to finish a bottle to myself.
I'm not going to take it.
Oh.
Side note.
Does anyone need a short sword?
I have it.
It's plus two.
I'll take a short sword.
Alright.
And I'll give you the plus two short sword.
Yeah, these guys look like daggers and stuff.
So, the guys...
Were you guys going to take the cloaks off these guys, too?
Well, that's what I was just about to ask.
Do they have cloaks, too?
Yeah.
I'll try to take them off and then...
But you're also wondering how these guys got these magic cloaks.
Damn it, we didn't ask them about the cloaks.
Yeah, if we got...
Do you think we have time to the guys here?
Do you guys think we have time?
Or here, or should we split and then check out these cloaks?
I would be able to personally identify them.
I think it's probably safer to do back on the Garclan.
Well, why would we go back to the Garclan?
We'll continue on our way.
I mean, well, since we found out that this was the last of them,
we might as well just go back to the city
and then figure out the information broker information.
Yeah.
So, when we say we don't leave a trail because you're a ranger,
does that mean the cart also doesn't?
Correct. It's all of us when we're moving.
I just sort of asked this before and someone told me no.
I didn't know that he forgot to check the...
Oh.
Yeah, because I have so much information.
But Pass Without a Trace also does that as well though.
But I didn't know that...
Yeah, so this is a good fuck, Collab Boys.
Good job.
All right, good job.
Thank you everyone for tuning in this week.
We had a great session killing all of Gonzo's monsters, and we did die.
I kind of stopped feeling bad when they were...
I realized they were also assholes.
Yeah, that's true.
Yeah, it's almost as if they were made to be assholes.
You guys weren't feeling bad?
Absolutely.
What the fuck not?
It makes you notice this is one of the only times you saw Franklin smiling.
Yeah.
And laughing.
Yeah, the last thing I noticed before he went fully invisible to Maya,
I noticed he went invisible, and then he started laughing while invisible,
which is a little nerdy.
Yeah, the boys just started...I just started laughing,
and then just like wandering away, invisible to the other guy.
I was like, why did he leave until Noah could see him before he laughed?
What the fuck?
I guess they're gonna see me actually laughing.
I guess I was thinking Baldur's Gate rules again for the greater disability.
I think that's what I was thinking,
because I know that they said in Baldur's Gate,
after you do a spell, you have to do a check.
Yeah, they have to adjust a lot of things,
because the fun in Baldur's Gate would be a little...
Yeah, it would be a little broken.
But we'll catch you next time.
Later nerds.