But welcome everyone, this is freaking nerds.
New Year's edition, technically.
I am Will or Will.I.am.
This is a D&D podcast where six friends play Dungeons and Dragons.
I am Lazognamastkind, the druid wood elf cleric, and fun false fact about Nyx.
It's gonna be really easy. He's not an alcoholic.
I'm just an addict. Not a specific kind, but just an addict.
Full spectrum.
I'm Jalen, I am Nyx the Barbarian.
False fact about Harun is that he's good at self-portrait.
He can think everything else perfectly, but himself.
I don't think I tried.
I did hold up a mirror. That's actually, I held up a mirror and did me and my sister.
That's right, I did hand it out.
Maybe it's because somebody else was there. If it was just me, I'd probably be bad.
He had to go back and make some edits to you later.
Yeah.
My name is Mark and I play Harun.
Warport Monk, kind of a baby.
Sad about his friend passing.
Yeah, RIP to Frankie. I do forget to mention that earlier.
Harun's not forgetting.
Fun false fact about Aris, right?
I think it's fair for me.
It's a silhouetted character in Smash Bros.
Nobody knows.
Fun false fact about Yharis is that he doesn't actually cry, he just sweats from his tears when he gets too cold.
Yes, I definitely see that.
I'm not crying, I'm just pissing out of my eyes.
I'm just so goddamn angry. Sweating in my eyes.
Hello, I am a beautiful evergreen tree and tonight I will be playing the character of Yharis Sifra.
He's still in a summer form, he's still in a labyrinth, and boy howdy, he's still a ranger.
My fun false fact for my good friend, Lissandra, is that he's afraid of skeletons, but especially his own.
Mmm. Mmm. And inside skeletons, extra scary.
Especially after seeing Frankie just melt away in his skeleton expose.
Just now zombified Frankie.
Did Frankie actually get semi-dissolved? I know I turned into a zombie for sure, but did I just stand back up as I was and go like...
I guess that would depend on your definition of what necrotic damage is. Do you imagine necrotic damage as more of a corroding effect of the body?
Or more of an inside-outward effect?
When I imagine necrotic damage, I imagine the skin is dying, the body itself is dying.
So I feel like there's probably some bone exposed.
Well yeah, plus it took much of the damage to the damper.
Almost got one shot.
Aaron's carrying him back. Oh my god, if he could cry, he would, but he's just gonna sweat.
So, Gonzo, can you do me a favor? Can you bring that mic towards you?
Yes sir.
What socks are you wearing?
I want you to take this as a sign or maybe a signal.
Oh my god, is it that bad?
I'm sorry, you're gonna be a dark knight.
That's a terrible joker over there.
Damn.
I hate to say it, but that counts as the Gruner fail.
We might see a scarecrow tonight, I don't know.
Scarecrow.
Be careful of that poison ivy that we might cross. Come on, am I the only one here? You guys are usually good at this.
Come on, Batman, come to my side.
I'm a little sad.
I'm gonna penguin one.
I was looking at Will, I was like, no one's taking the bait, I was waiting for something.
Right, I'm trying to get you.
I'm allowing him to be the joker.
I have a good joke, but I can't think of it other than Mr. Freezing.
I'm getting a little toothpaste right now.
Thank you, thank you.
That's gonna leave a heartbeat.
That's good. That one was good.
Alright, Gonzo.
What is your real fact?
My real fact is actually about Harun.
Oh.
Remember how you said that if you could, you actually learned a little motion.
He learned sadness.
Oh.
Wait, can I actually cry though?
Yeah, boy.
Also, we'll say for every, let's see, two or three, actually odds or evens.
Odds.
Okay, so for every three emotions you learn, you'll get an intelligence.
Oh, shit.
So if you learn one more.
So what does empathy count as for an emotion in general, or is that the starter category, so we only have one?
Yeah, we'll figure it out later.
It's not about this on the fly, so.
I feel sadness, I'm very sad.
I like the idea that empathy is a starter emotion, like you can't not have it.
You need to be able to relate.
And now he's like, why do I feel bad?
What is this feeling?
Emotional awareness.
I'm sad now.
No, we broke the robot.
No.
So who remembers what happened last time?
I don't.
We fought.
The long of it, the short of it, we rolled up, thought we were going to fuck shit up, and we, for the most part, did, but we lost the man.
Next turn, it was, turn or already turned into it?
I was already.
Already turned.
Started smacking around.
There's a big dude that we were trying to take down, trying to focus, a whole bunch of little ones running around.
Haru is feeling sad, punching these guys, saying that please somebody stop fighting so one of you guys can live.
So he can tear you.
Yes.
And Frankie was doing his biz, having a great time up on the giant ape until that shit happened when he followed Haru down, trying to take out the spellcaster.
And then the spellcaster kept teleporting everywhere.
I don't even know what that spell was.
That was crazy.
And he shot, he shot us, a few of us, with that weird ray, but it just didn't mean too much for Frankie.
And we have a side special honor to mention to Y'Haurus for locking the fuck down, taking no HP damage, and flying with those fucking arrows from the back.
Yeah buddy.
And also, also our healer is doing some good job trying to get in there.
I was fucking trying.
Trying, trying to get in there.
Lost one.
Yeah.
What were you going to say Jim?
I was also going to call out how the gods didn't want us to save Frankie, because I had a giant rock that he used a lot of resources on.
My inspiration, my action surge, two friends' inspiration, and none of that shit would hit.
It was fucking bad.
It was funny though.
We all gave our inspiration like, who really wants us?
If that rock hit, maybe Frankie would still be here.
Right, we could have used our inspiration to get to him to re-roll that shit, because god damn.
Yeah, we tried guys.
Yeah, can we combine two people's inspirations to have one disadvantage roll for Gonzo?
If we work together as friends.
The power of friendship.
Next time, next person.
Alright Gonzo.
What are you looking me for?
Where do we pick up at?
Alright, so you guys are on your way back right now, so you guys are reeling from this, Harumin's tear in the body.
So you notice Harumin just, he has like an expression of sadness that you wouldn't have expected of him.
It looks like he's feeling emotion, which you're just trying to figure out why he looks sad, because you've never seen his face look like this before.
I mean, he probably has the same expression Lasagna has on his face.
And your guys are like, what the fuck?
Mine's like in like, screen, like downturn, like you didn't know my face could go that low.
It's like, how does metal bend that way?
It's like an upset trout. It's like real deep.
Harun, are you okay bud?
I'm more okay than Frankie is.
Then motive noises.
Motive noises?
Well that's not saying much.
We're gonna give him a proper burial.
It wasn't right how he went out.
He's still crying.
Boy, we bury him.
Where do we bury him?
Why?
Oh, I don't get why either.
Is he gonna come back as a zombie?
No, no, he's not gonna come back. I'm gonna pray to my god and make sure that he doesn't come back as a zombie.
You ask him to bring him back?
Absolutely the fuck not.
I don't think it works like that. I don't know how exactly it works.
He looks kind of funky.
Yeah, he looks like...
You know how when you... I don't know if you ever encountered this, but when you bring somebody back, sometimes they're not the same.
You know?
Harun, you remember that entire conflict that we just got done fighting? The whole basis of it is bringing people back.
We don't want that to happen to Frankie.
It's not often that Faye die and when they do, it's a much greater deal to the rest of us than it is for other mortals.
He wouldn't want to be a zombie, please.
He would not.
You know what he would want? He would want to be a beautiful flower. You remember how he loved flowers?
Did he?
Frankie loved flowers.
He loved flowers, Frankie privately loved flowers.
Nick has no memory of this.
He used that to pick up chicks though. He'd be like, boom, get some flowers, get some gaffoons. And all the other women would go away from Nick.
Tomorrow, depending on when we have his funeral, I can make a bunch of flowers around his grave site so he will be like a part of nature.
The circle of life, as one would say.
The circle?
In the Wheel of Fortune.
Yeah, it's a circle.
Not like a triangle?
I don't know if it's like a triangle. I think it's more of a rounded edge.
Oh.
Do you think that he would want to be buried in the Feywild though?
It's something that I never really could get a bead on him for.
I don't really think he gave a shit.
I think if you want to be there, you would have been.
He spent more time here than there, I do agree, but even still, there's much of a connection that we have with that place.
Is the guy that we rescued, is he conscious?
He's in and out of consciousness. He got fucked up real bad.
He was pretty fucked up.
We healed him, but even so, he's probably not.
He's been tortured and starved for you don't know how long.
He's always getting medicine checked on him, but he's kind of in and out of consciousness as he does care.
Occasionally just screaming.
He's just kind of like, AHHHHH!
He looks around and goes back to sleep.
Every once in a while.
Who was carrying him again?
Niggazine.
You gotta deal with him just occasionally screaming on you.
He's like the perfect height too.
Not even dragging him.
There's a dragon?
Yeah, you guys make it. It is around nighttime now. You get back to the village.
As you guys approach, you see some of the halflings kind of look at you.
The chief approaches you and everyone kind of just runs to you guys.
Like, oh my god, you guys look like you've been through hell.
Just got back.
Freaky!
He looks like, oh, oh no.
Yeah, we lost one of our own.
Let me see. You got my son.
We found him.
I'm sorry that you lost a friend.
It's all part of the battle I guess.
If only there was some kind of compensation for completing a mission and then losing one of our own.
If only.
Oh my god.
You didn't give a shit about him.
I care about Frankie deeply.
I just want to say, that's the most on-brand Frankie shit.
In honor of Frankie.
We need to profit from Frankie.
But you see, as Nick says, as the tears rolled down his eyes, he's like, yeah.
Inside check.
I'm just kidding.
He's on this too, Sam.
There's no way he's actually crying.
Not even slightly.
He's just pissing from his eyes.
Yeah.
I just hear anger excrete from his eyes.
It's like a windshield wiper fluid.
He just has a water scoop. He poked a hole in it.
It spits water in his eyes.
He takes his son and says, yes, we will bestow you the armor that we promised as a more of the other half.
He's going to grab him and then take him.
He says, you guys look hurt. Would you like to have us help you and heal up?
We're going to need you to attend to their wounds.
Yes, please. Go to the medical tent.
He says, do you get hungry? Do you need food as well?
Yes. Do you happen to have a...
As someone comes in, he uncorks a bottle of wine, hands it to your heart and says, I'm sorry about your friend.
I know how you say we're allowed to each other.
I snatch the bottle and I try to drink it.
You motherfucker.
He's also in character. I take that shit back.
Yeah, I will pass it back after that.
Do you have a place that we could bury our friend?
Of course. We have some sacred fields nearby we can bury our dead.
Is it the Garfields?
Yes.
What kind of wine is this by the way? I can describe it.
It smells quite sour.
It has a bit of a grape flavor to it.
Is it more of like a red than...?
Yeah. He says it's a strong one. I think you'll need it.
The only thing I need is a target rich environment and more arrows.
We can supply you with some of the arrows we have here. We can restock you.
At least we can do for you going out there to rescue my son.
And losing one of our own. Don't forget the heavy car.
I'm very aware. We won't...
I ruin like Hipsum, but not like Hart.
Hey, phenol is more expensive.
Yeah, you're definitely getting a phenol.
What's so expensive about a hole in the ground?
That's Nix's plan and let's otherwise object it to.
We can have a ritual for him tonight. You can be the ceremony and bury him in the morning.
I would like to be here for that if I could.
You will be.
Oh yes, we'll make sure you're fully rested.
Oh, okay. I thought you were saying tonight.
No, tonight we'll celebrate in his honor.
But first we'll tend to your wounds and make sure that you're taken care of.
Alright, where should I put his body where it can stay in a good condition for the morning?
We'll take it to the medical tent as well and we'll do what we can to make sure it's fine.
He starts looking at his body and says, what kind of magic did this?
Necroticon.
And he's examining it.
He's going to examine the body and just kind of just do a little insight check if you want.
Dude, 14.
Oh yeah, his face kind of just looks like, he got real worried about it.
He kind of started checking the body and how it looked.
Yeah, there was like some kind of dark mage in the cave.
It was the only survivor. Everyone else is dead but the mage.
Frankie's killer is still out there and I get visibly angry again and I pop rage.
You're a rage.
I have one more.
One more for the night, you better use it.
He turns towards Lasagna. I'm assuming since Frankie was leader of this group, who is next in line?
I would say the next most wise man.
You can't be the leader until you win the belt fair.
Who is probably the most wisest man that I know.
That's Nick right here.
That's Harun.
Y'all Harus is a muscle though, just know that.
I really share a look with Y'all Harus, like Harun?
I'm looking at it from a binary standpoint.
I see what you did there.
I think that's how Lasagna is looking at it.
We cannot let you make decisions Nick.
I'm just saying.
What if we had a co-cancel?
I think a council might be best. I don't know if we should give it to the guy who just learned what certain things are.
Then I vote Y'all Harus.
You already voted me.
I don't like the idea of there being one central leader. We all have too much ego for that.
Alright well, I'll just use a group then.
I'm the muscley face of the team so you can adjust me.
I like how Nick said, I'm the wisest right after Poppin' Rick.
I'm so wise right now, let me tell you.
I read a book you gotta do when I'm wise.
Rick, let me talk to you brother.
Don't listen to Nick.
He won't listen until you say my rage actually ended up manifesting as a pixie.
Is this a little version of Franky?
Is that the one that's like you?
It sounds like Franky.
It's just like, fuck you, super.
It's one little fuck you that pops and the former rage goes away.
As it fades all he can hear is, what's your name?
So let's just say we're all, as we're all sitting there arguing over this, what if we just say that we're all leaders?
I think honestly, I'm the leader.
The face, what if we say that?
I'm not the leader.
The metal face.
Harun, I'm going to be entirely honest, that new voice of yours is legitimately terrifying and I forgot that you had a...
This is my leader voice.
Dad, you know what, maybe he had a point.
Again, all choices would go through you guys.
I'm just the face.
I could get behind that at least.
I think I'm alright with it.
Out of character, imagine the president and how he doesn't actually have power.
Like he's the leader, but talk to me.
We don't mean that.
Hey, maybe you're not sponsored.
Not sponsored by the president?
Yep, guys, not sponsored.
Not sponsored by the White House.
I'm just saying, if you're a representative of democracy, be like, oh!
Alright, so Chief Gar, Big Gar himself, Gar Gar Gar, will look at all of you and say, well, you all seem to be...
The last few leaders probably shook everyone up, but I say let's have a private conversation in the morning once you've been fully rested.
That sounds good.
Can you hand his pants?
I'm wearing them, so...
No.
Hey, let's switch back.
I gave him a pair of minders.
Yeah, we can have some of our people do that for him.
I just don't want him looking weird.
Daddy.
Oh, did the front end?
Oh, I got it.
Yeah, this one's weird.
Alright, so you guys will go to the medical tent, we'll clean you guys up, and then you guys will get your full rest in.
I did?
Long rest!
Yep, so you guys go to the head of the treaty, you guys get a chance to get your rest in.
Cool.
I'm assuming we don't need to take watch?
No.
You guys, you're a can here, buddy.
Could you imagine?
I also, before we went to bed, approached the chief and asked him if I could have the sending stone back.
Oh, yes, here you go.
And I'm just asking, nothing happened while we were gone?
Not that we saw.
That's it, go to bed, flash forward.
So you guys go to bed, you wake up in the morning, and you still feel like, even though you guys got your full rest, you guys got your ass kicked.
I mean, some of us.
Some of us, yeah.
Nick, you just have that room, because you know the El Haros got that big kill.
I want it.
Did you guys ever see track of who won?
No.
I don't think we did.
I killed a few people too, so I don't know how.
I think the El Haros was getting a lot of those final blows.
Yeah, the final blows.
There were some that we had already weakened too, and then he just.
I mean, to be fair, but he's able to hit so many times though, so I didn't.
Yeah.
If you line him up, he takes them down.
Hell yeah, but the thing is, is that during that whole bet, I didn't play because I thought I was going to lose.
Oh yeah, I mean, I just wanted to play for fun.
Luzzagna just wanted to play for fun.
I didn't think I was going to come close.
I didn't even keep track.
I think I got eight, and then when they started coming back, I was like, yeah, I'm going to die.
The El Haros started picking him off at one point.
I think he got like four or five in a row.
Yeah.
He also got the big boys.
Anyways, but yeah, so you guys wake up and then you all smell a lot of food cooking.
Like, you wake up and you immediately just like, you smell like meat's cooking.
I sniff out the drum.
You come out, actually there is drum, there's like a little, like there's music playing.
As you walk out, you just hear them all just give like a cheer like, yay!
As you see Chief Gaur is there, along with Gaur and Larr, his sons.
And he's still, his son is awake.
He's banning stuff, still looking pretty rough, but you know, standing.
And Larr comes up to you and, and like Diggs is doing as well, he says, you were the guy who was holding me yesterday, right?
I remember your face vaguely in between your consciousness.
Yes, I am your hero.
He says, thank you for, thank you for rescuing me.
It's like we heroes do.
You're absolutely right.
Another adoring fan.
I have many.
Name?
Who?
You know, all these Elven women names.
Name.
So I can't say all these Elvish names.
I can't, I don't speak the language.
You know how to speak it.
No.
Yes you do.
Cousins are real, man.
I don't believe you.
C-G-E is a real thing.
I just, you know, we've spoken it to each other before.
You're imagining this.
I'm not imagining anything when we were in those caves killing goblins.
Hey, uh.
No mission common, that's all I got.
If I pull out this pair mead, will y'all have a drink with it in honor of, you know, Frankie?
We're going to finish it right here.
Yeah, you guys want to do a challenge?
Frankie didn't drink.
Frankie drank.
Frankie was a bartender, he just drank a lot more classy than we did.
He didn't drink.
Not one.
Not with you guys.
You hear the ghost of Frankie.
I would know, I also don't drink.
Well let's just have a drink for him, this is my last pair of mead bottles.
The person I'm drinking with is the women.
You guys are seeing there's a big feast going on as they're preparing a lot of food.
They have drinks ready.
It says, we prepare a hero's feast for all of you.
Eat as much as you can handle and drink as much as you can.
He looks at Nix and says, we know that you are someone like Spartacus.
You see him kind of gesture as they roll out a barrel.
I asked what flavor is this barrel.
Is that local?
Yes.
Is there a spout on this barrel?
Yes.
Would I know who the second strongest person on this team is?
Second strongest?
Physically, probably Yohars.
Yohars, I need you to do something for me.
Hold this barrel up.
Alright, what do I need to do?
What's your strength Yohars?
You don't find out.
Well that's a total of eight.
You're trying and you're like, ooh.
Can I help him out now?
Son of a bitch.
Can I help him out for advantage on his roll?
Do you think you have better strength than him?
I have a plus one.
I don't want to lie to you, but that's it.
I have a plus two.
Yeah, I was thinking he has a plus two.
Yeah, I'll just give you advantage.
Yeah, I was going to say.
I'm going to do natural fucking 20.
He got a little bit confident at first and he kind of like lost his grip.
He just kind of looked around and he's like, I can't look at you bitch.
And then without hesitation just picks it up and just like effortlessly,
like I just need to readjust myself.
He hoisted up higher than you.
Yeah, that's perfect.
I put my whole ass mouth on the nozzle and set it all the way.
Perfect.
You're just chugging.
See how long he just chugged it.
Now don't you get advantage on anything alcohol related?
That was an 18 and a 19.
Plus con, plus six.
You're fine.
Yeah.
And then how much are you going to chug?
Not until I'm drunk.
All right.
So the barrel is gone.
You don't have that much body mass.
Exactly.
I don't know, man.
You can all breathe so much while you're drinking as well.
For you it's a lot, but it's a little bit.
After about like 30 seconds, he's like, the heart's kind of cut you off.
You're like, are you just done?
All right.
You need to stop.
Yeah.
And then I will be on my merry way to the chief to talk about our condensation.
Yeah.
As you see, I'll pour myself a cup.
I'll walk a little bit faster than him.
Yeah.
Nick is walking a little like a zigzaggy.
Now just out of curiosity, you said this was a hero's feast.
Was the spell hero's feast cast on this?
No.
Dang.
Worth a shot.
Worth a shot, yeah.
Actually, I'll know.
You're feeling pretty good.
I'll offer you a ride.
It's a very expensive spell.
I was just wondering.
And then we'll go there a little bit faster.
I might be able to do it.
We had a pretty expensive fight just now.
It cost us a whole ass man.
You see, even the dog agrees.
So yeah, I'm carrying Nick's piggyback style over to the chief.
I imagine that the food on offer is a lot of meat that is very herbaceous.
Yeah, so you see a whole hog that is roasting right now and being turned.
Yeah.
And you see there's just tables full of pastries.
There's pies, fresh pies that they brought over.
You can smell that.
And there's tons and tons of loaves of bread, some butter, and tons of meat and cheese.
Oh yeah.
I'll get in on that.
While you guys are doing your meeting, I'm not sure Yohara and I are going to partake.
Oh, absolutely.
Yeah, you turn around and he's already sitting down.
He's already kind of getting in on it.
He's got three plates in front of him.
And you see some of the halflings are just staring at him, just putting away his food.
He's scarred and he's just nodding.
I pause for a moment, finish what I'm doing, and look to Lazard.
I point down at my plate, this one has blackberries in it and not the blackberries that Yohara used to either.
I just keep eating.
You see him just eating a whole pie.
I have no response because I'm gorging myself right now.
So then you guys are just sitting there, you guys are eating all of your food and enjoying your drink.
It's fantastic.
You guys are full and Chief Garry is eating with his son.
He walks up to your table and joins you and says...
Well, we're heading to the chief.
Yeah, but as you guys are eating, he comes over to you, so I'm going to...
Oh, cool.
So I didn't give him a ride?
We can just be chilling with me on your wrap.
While you guys are eating.
While we're eating.
To me, I'm so drunk it feels like he's walking, but in reality we're still.
Yeah, he comes over with a bottle and he's got this cheers to all of you.
And he looks at Nick and he says, don't worry, when we get to my tent for a tuck, I have your arm around my waist.
I give him a cool thumbs up, tilts and slides until it falls and collapses.
It's like a dab thumbs up where it's slightly angled forward just a little bit.
Just a little inebriated.
Do you know anything about potions?
Yes.
I found some potions, I don't know if you can help me identify them.
Oh, I sure can.
One I wrote held potion question marks, I didn't say what kind, it looked similar to a held potion, so I don't know what level.
And then one very specifically unidentified potion.
He says, I don't want you to take a look here as he sits down and he...
Did you show me those, Harun?
Yeah, he did.
I don't think he did.
I was crying the whole time.
Yeah, you were crying.
I didn't see your cup of show.
So yeah, he identifies them.
Where did you find these?
They're pretty little paintings across here.
As their two greater healing potions and invisibility potion.
In a cave.
A big cave.
Potion of invisibility, that would be good.
Wow.
Is that a, what is it, greater invisibility or the normal invisibility?
Normal.
Normal, okay.
It's pretty broken.
But two greater healing potions though.
Yeah, yeah.
Alright, I'll mark that.
Yeah.
Gorgeous doubt on this meal.
Yeah.
I hope you guys are enjoying it and she says to meet me at my tent when you guys are done
and I'll be waiting for you.
I think I've had enough of my share.
Fast forward through the food eating festivities.
Yeah.
Okay, straight to the tent.
We got Nick still.
Yeah.
How's Nick still hanging in there?
I don't remember the content, but see how he's doing.
He does his favorite thing, drink first then eat.
Very, very good combination.
I love the drinking first then eat.
It gets you drunk quick as long as you eat soon after you don't feel any of the side
effects.
Never thought of that.
Oh, nice.
26.
Oh yeah, you're fucking golden.
Or 25, bad math.
But yeah.
Golden.
As if you never drink it.
Yeah.
He's in fact more hydrated than he was before.
The tolerance.
Like, you know, this guy is hammered, but he's somehow still like agile.
I told you he's not an alcoholic.
Y'all have not met enough functional alcoholics.
I am steady.
This is before work.
As a chief sits down, he, well, first he lays out the armory and says, I would like to
steal this on to you as a thank you for your efforts and your kindness in helping my clan.
I'm like, don't.
I immediately strip.
I look, who can wear this?
And I look at you too.
I tried it.
Wait, what is it?
It's medium armor.
Oh.
I can wear medium armor.
I don't think it'll fit you.
Yeah, I was gonna say.
It's magical medium armor.
What kind of armor?
Huh?
Oh, is it the?
My poison armor.
The swarm.
Yeah.
I think so.
I can wear medium armor.
I don't.
I think it, I think it would depend on the restrictions.
It's not one giant piece.
Like it has like connectors in between.
You can probably see armor on the spores.
Yeah.
I have a chain shirt.
You got figured out.
All right.
I toss it.
While you guys figure it out yourselves, I would toss on the floor between you two.
I will just take it out of the little finger.
She just starts laughing.
Yeah.
A little excited I see.
I mean, it is great armor too.
Yeah.
This is something that our greatest warriors, myself included, have worn while protecting
our clan from evil.
It is, we've gotten this from our greater dragons.
Our great ancestors that we worship.
And these, these are sacred to us, so please wear it with pride.
Always.
As it has the Gar Clan symbol on it as well.
What does it look like actually, the Gar Clan symbol?
It looks like a field on there and-
It is the same Gar right before the field?
Yeah.
Gar dash field.
This is like, no.
Roman fields, yeah.
That's the word Monday and a sad cat.
Above Call, what's that armor called?
It's a dragon's field, man.
Sick as fuck.
It looks sick as fuck.
Is it the full set?
Yep.
Oh my goodness.
Yeah, definitely look at it.
It looks sick.
Helmet too.
So you got the helmet on.
Yeah, so-
I think it's, it requires attunement I believe.
It does.
What color is it?
Red.
It's red.
He said it earlier.
Oh shit.
Okay, because they have different ones with them.
Yeah, because it depends on the resistance.
Yeah, so that one, you got five resistance with that.
Nice.
I give him, I don't know what to do, so I give him like an awkward bow and say thank you.
Did you already add it?
Yes.
I can scrape some of this too.
Oh yeah.
It's pretty cool.
I will start attunement too.
Right there.
Right then and there.
Wasting no time.
Y'all can figure out what to do.
Come back for me later.
This I say as early as possible.
He sits and he says, please, sit.
And he kind of just takes us to a floor and he's just like, tell us what you guys sit on.
He says, this calls for a special occasion that you guys will hear.
He pulls out like a small case and he brings out a pipe.
And he says, we're, you're commemorating this moment with some herbs that we like to smoke
and type like this.
Lasagna hears no more and immediately goes to a crisscross position on the floor.
Crisscross applesauce position on the floor.
He knows the rules.
As he passes it to Yohara first and he says, please.
I go ahead and chuff on the piece of pipe.
You feel pretty good for it.
You feel pretty good.
Hell yeah.
I'm going to pass it to Lasagna.
Lasagna is going to take probably the biggest hit he can hold in and then pass it over to Nix.
You that while I'm doing what I'm doing?
Yeah.
While you're doing that, he says, I like to do this while I, before I meditate.
I believe meditation is great for the soul.
I heard Yohara loves to meditate as well.
Watch your fucking mouth.
Meditation can be great for clearing your mind.
We're just going to sleep.
I'm going to, I'm going to try to put this forward.
Is it like a shirt or is it an armor?
It's an armor.
Yeah.
I'm going to try to put the spore shirt on Yohara to see if it fits him.
Are you just taking his clothes off while he's doing this?
Are you going to just...
He has a chain shirt.
I do have a chain shirt.
Isn't that just like a normal shirt?
Can it go over the chain shirt?
I'm wearing commoner clothes like underneath my chain shirt.
We got layers and a hoe.
I'm just curious to know how that works.
Would he have to take the chain shirt off?
Yeah.
Ah, damn.
You got a hoe to take his shirt off or what?
Yohara, do you want to see how this fits on you?
I think we have more pressing matters to attend to right now.
Mr. Gar?
Yes, you can call me Chief Gar.
Chief Gar.
I think that you have more to tell us, is that correct?
There's more to be spoken about in this meeting.
Yes.
I did notice the grave injuries that your friend had suffered.
I did more than ever have to be in the area.
I don't have a group response.
It seems you haven't gathered them.
That means that they're getting closer to us as well.
They're getting greater danger coming, because that's the case.
What my son told me was that, if you see him kind of peeking in,
he's like, oh son, come on in.
And he kind of looks at me and says, thank you again for rescuing me.
My son, he will tell you what they were trying to get from him.
He kind of shakeless.
They're looking for the rest of the Dragonborns.
They know they're in the area, and they know we're helping them.
I don't know how they know, but I try not to say as much as I could.
They know they're here, but they don't know where they are.
Thank you, son.
And he passes them the hypons.
They really want to know where the Dragonborns are,
so they're making little trends in the area.
Do you know where the Dragonborns are?
Whose voice was that?
I'm a swan in bed.
Do you know where the Dragonborns are?
I don't know.
He says, I made, but you've shown so far that you are willing to help.
One of us did die to save you.
That's very true.
It's just that with certain matters like this,
it's of most importance that I try to protect them.
I mean, well, you keep your secrets, I guess.
He says, how much do you know about the Emerald Call?
Enough to know that they've been operating all throughout the continent,
but specifically it seems they're operating again in this region,
given the fact that one of their dark mages was at the head of that clan of halflings.
I think we know much about the Emerald Call.
What we do know is, I feel like, the tip of the iceberg.
But what I do know is that if I ever see the Emerald Call,
I'm going to burn that bitch to the ground.
I'm going to burn it.
So there's nothing left.
That's what I do know.
I have a sister who I won't tell you her name.
She goes to a different castle.
She isn't hiding.
There are people that may want to do her harm, so I understand.
But given that I can emphasize with you and understand,
and it would not betray your trust, I don't lie to people.
Glances over the necks.
That I can cinder friends.
Sometimes you have to lie to your friends.
I see his flexing in his new armor.
Yeah.
He's still tuning in.
Yeah, tuning to it.
What do you know, if anything, about the Emerald Call?
We need as much information as possible.
I thought that after the war that they had disbanded,
but I guess they're trying to grow again,
and number take over the world.
Do you know where?
There are mysterious, I unfortunately don't know much information.
But I can tell you this, they know his well and have been keeping him
up to hide and protect him.
Where is he then?
Because then that's probably our goal, and they're trying to find him.
Well, the thing is, the great Dragon Warrior who St. Mike had chosen
we've met as well, and he's traveling and they helped us rescue the Dragon Warrior.
He was accompanied, he looks at Khabarov and says,
there was another one of you that was accompanying his party.
Hmm?
Yes, I didn't know that, does every adventuring party have one of you?
Well, didn't we hear of a guy, we heard of another one of you at Sharn?
Was it Sharn?
I believe it was Sharn.
Yeah, that is right.
Wasn't it Yakoba?
Yes, that's the guy, he was a nice fella.
Hmm.
And you also said Thad was with the Dragonborn as well.
Yes, Thad and...
Before he died.
Our great champion, it's only been a dumb chance to honor him with this prize.
If only.
Him and his friend, our chosen one, was his, as I said, was a mighty warrior.
Single tear goes down the Zaga's eyes.
But our chosen one, Khabarov, he...
I don't know where he is right now, he's trying to find them in himself and take down the clock.
So hopefully he accomplished that as well.
Well you said you know where he is, where is he?
Oh I don't know where he is, I know where the rest of the Dragonborn are.
I'm keeping them...
Oh, oh you're keeping the rest of the Dragonborn.
I think that the Emerald Claw...
I could be wrong.
I think the Emerald Claw is trying to control the Orion family through magical jewelry and necklaces.
We found one, a necklace... was it a necklace?
Yes.
It was a necklace and we believe that Baldwin Orion has a ring that is making him be controlled.
He saw a figure that spoke in Abyssal and that's also the same language that the man in the cave spoke, he spoke Abyssal wood chanting.
I think Chatter wants to go outside.
Tell him he works on your schedule, dog.
Look at him, he's running straight for that door.
Momo, she's going to that side.
Oh my god, you bitch Momo.
I thought I told her I was up there.
You didn't feel her up there?
No I did, that's why I was sitting forward that fucking bitch.
Damn.
That's why I threw all the blankets over there, I knew she wouldn't want to sit next to me if there were no blankets.
I saw Chatter just run up to you and do that and I was like, oh looks like he wants attention.
I'm going to go back to the cave again for the sake of the animals.
So then, what's the plan?
He says, well I see, this is information that might be beyond me, but I think it's time that you trust us.
After we do our burial ceremony for your friend, I shall take you to meet our associate.
Associate?
Well he's a friend of mine who's been taking care of them.
Oh, oh, oh you're talking about them, okay.
Well, he says he's been preparing the grave for him for the show, that ceremony as well.
He says, let's go check on that right now as he leaves.
You see him, he goes across there and he says, I'll go check and let you know.
And then, in a mysterious figure arrives at the camp.
You walk up and you feel the feast going on, you see the smells of all the food.
Okay, I just go to half way start off with what can you do?
So I'm a half elf, I'm like reasonably tall.
For Nix's sake, how tall are you?
For Nix's sake, like two Nix's stacked on top of each other.
If one Nix stood on the other Nix's shoulders, that's about how tall I am.
Well you know that sounded too tall.
Whatever it takes, Nix.
Looks frowny, unhappy and is dressed in some light armor.
He's walking through in chief garces, are you here with the adventuring party?
I'll walk out in attendance, the half elf in the camp.
No, I'm here for my brother.
Your brother?
You're a freak you brother?
Yes.
I don't see a family resemblance at all.
How did you know already?
I'm sorry, it's pretty par for the course for the gnomes I know.
Who told you?
Yeah, who told you? Frankie died last night.
I got my ways.
Oh, okay.
Based off of the attitude, I believe that they're related.
I can see that.
Do you drink?
Do I drink?
No.
Drinking is for the feeble.
No way.
Your character looks at Nix.
Nix is swaying.
I immediately look over to our room. I don't like him.
Where's his body?
Chief Gar?
We're preparing it and we're about to have our ceremony.
I can take you to it if you want to pay your rights.
Very well.
Let's do it.
You take us to the medical tent. You see the body. It looks like decay. It looks like it's been weathered.
I look at Frankie on the ground and then I look at...is it Franklin?
Have you told me your name?
I look at Frankie and I look at the half elf. Look at Frankie. Look at the half elf.
Yeah, I don't see it.
What is your name?
Franklin.
Ah!
Does this mean I owe you the favors now?
Yeah, I'll collect.
I'll ruin you, son of a bitch.
Why would you talk about that? This is why we can't make people not hear.
Why would he not say that?
That's exactly what he was saying.
Howard, I think you got rid of those favors. Didn't you have a discussion with Frankie right before he passed about we're good on the favors?
No, I don't lie. To my friends. Or about them.
I was like, he's not a friend. Frankie's a friend.
You owed those favors to Frankie here?
I owed him three?
Jeez, God damn!
Wait, out of character? Is that right? Two? Okay.
And I said two.
You owed those favors to Frankie. And Frankie here, he's been carrying my name for a while.
Wait, is that, was Frankie not his real name?
I'm going to be honest.
I'm not going to divulge his real name.
Speaking on behalf of all three folk, I have no doubt in my mind that that was not his real name.
Well, if you all want to say something to him, let's get this done.
Her room will go up there, and he's going to look over Frankie and try to see what still looks like him.
Because he technically was a zombie last, right? It changes you up a little bit. Or if you're fresh, it's okay.
You know, it's got a Hampton Necromancer. How bad is he looking? Is he still recognizable?
Like, hi there, we used to, his body looks like he had a decomposing body.
It's only been a day, but his body looks like it's been decomposing for at least a week.
Rigor mortis is really sentient.
One of his arms had already fallen off because that's the one that got hit, so his arm fell off.
Doesn't he have his jaw, his bottom jaw taken off too?
He's going to say, Frankie, I don't know if I ever fully trusted you, even though you never gave me a reason to distrust you technically.
But, I'm very sad of your passing, and I hope you get whatever you want, wherever you're going.
No, I'm just saying in general, he's going to be buried.
And he's going to, is he going to get buried also?
Oh, yeah, no, I like that.
He's going to like lean in and I want to try to rule a slight of hand.
For what?
I can say, I'll see what it is.
You trying to hide it for the DMs?
What is it?
I want to put something in his pocket.
All right.
I would like to roll a perception for that.
Yeah, go ahead.
Unless, he's saying it'll only be a six or something.
That'd be 17.
I want to slide in.
Yeah.
I want to slide in a hundred gold.
Into his pocket.
All right.
Wait, what?
I can see Nick's going like that's so much money, as he likes it.
That's Frankie's goal.
You didn't care about what I was saying about Frankie.
You were going to give him your turn.
Yeah, I definitely would not care what people were saying as they're asking about it to Frankie.
And yeah, he's just going to kind of poke his face a little bit and then walk away.
All right, yeah, Chief.
You got the hundred golds on him as you see them carrying his body.
Thank you.
There's no need to carry him.
We'll just finish this here.
Anything anybody else want to say or we're good to go?
Frankie, your time with us has been very questionable, but you have done in some people's eyes good
and other people's eyes could be mean.
But I know you were always trying to do the right thing at the end of the day.
You were a good man, and I'm sorry that you passed.
I'm going to walk up.
Frankie, you purposely made my life hell and stole my name twice.
And that's all I'm going to say.
Thank you.
I'm going to walk up to him before we all start doing the actual barrel.
I'm going to look at him like I'm going to get down and like at a squatting level and say this like directly into his ear.
You're the biggest bastard I ever knew.
We'll meet again soon.
And then Franklin starts sending over for Frankie's body, starts casting a spell.
As he starts it up, he says, Frankie, you were too soft for a hard world.
And I promise you this, I'll murder everyone who ever spoke your name.
And then I cast banishment and send his body back to the state.
Isn't it like just a popping noise?
Where did you take him?
He's back home now.
That's nice, Franklin.
I didn't have to drag his sorry ass all the way back.
Y'all Horace did bring that up.
He wanted to, he was saying we were talking about what we should do with him.
And that was a conversation was to take him back to the Feywild.
We didn't know how he stood in the Feywild though, you know.
Pretty low.
So are you like his blood brother or like a, you know, was it like you were both at the same adoption home type thing?
How'd that work?
Were you roommates?
Oh my god, they were roommates.
Nah, he's uh, we're blood related.
Alright.
Say mom or same dad.
What's it matter?
I'm just trying to figure out how a fairy and a half elf aren't blood related.
Because you know, you're a half elf.
Half elf?
Half something else.
I'm just gonna shake my head and walk away.
Well Franklin, I mean, what are you, like is there anything else that you're doing?
You just come for the funeral?
No, I had some correspondence with Frankie and he gave me a heads up on some of the things we're up to.
Did you know his killer was still alive and you came to kill his killer?
Well, I thought he might be.
His killer never did say his name.
That's a good one.
Can you still kill him?
Sometimes you just gotta kill enough people.
Whoa!
You know, we're not able to get along with all of us.
We are down to man.
How do you feel about necromancers and other undead?
I would like to kill something twice.
You're coming with us.
It's decided.
Well, I mean, we're just, we're trying to figure out, um, like what did he, what has he told you?
Has he told you about who we're looking for?
More or less told me about everything he was about to.
Okay, so, uh, he did say, uh, he did make a special note that, um, I was to do everything in my power if I ever met you.
To, this doesn't make a lot of sense to me, but to keep Nyx from elves.
Does that make something to you?
Yes, this is our friend Nyx. Keep him away from elves.
Yeah.
Yeah, I'm Nyx.
That's my ride.
He's not my friend yet, I can lie to him.
Yeah, but do you feel empathy or sadness when you lie to him?
You shouldn't.
I don't know, I'm kind of confused by the math passing on, uh, the relatives and the like.
But, so, I don't trust.
But I think I own favors now, so.
Well, what exactly can you do as far as, uh, combat is concerned, Mr. Franklin?
Um, well, uh, cast spells, stab things.
Ah.
Oh, you're a bard just like him. You sing and you dance and you do the whole thing?
Yeah, can you play instruments?
Frankie told jokes, you got jokes?
I got jokes.
I don't think I'm gonna like it.
You'd have to understand them.
Yeah, there is a higher requirement.
I'm the same height as your brother, what the fuck?
Yeah, but some people are taller than spirit.
Frankie was taller when he laid down, if you know what I mean.
Bro, I'm called the hammer, what you mean?
Oh yeah.
He made the painting, do I need to show it to the new guy?
No!
Ha, I take it out.
I don't like it.
Just hold it right up.
Oh my, it's a very detailed painting.
How about for all of y'all, so my combat expertise is casting spells, uh, stabbing fools and, um, yeah, I mean, everything in between that.
Well, understand our skepticism then, because right now we're hearing a lot of big talk.
So, we'll come and find out when the time arises, and I'm hoping that it will soon.
Uh, we need to, we need to figure out really where to go from here, to being entirely honest.
Okay, this one?
This one.
Runs up and fights and kills rages.
This one, magic and animals.
This one shoots from really far.
And I run up there and I punch things.
That's kind of what we all do.
Wow, that's uh, that's...
I'm decently hard to hit.
And then I, I like shimmer my, uh, displacement cake.
Well, uh, hopefully that's more exciting than combat and sounds, uh...
Well, I mean...
I'm also the leader.
We'll see.
Sure.
Chief Gar-Gar, didn't you say you had something you wanted to show us?
I think, uh, our boy Franklin is gonna be joining us and he probably would want to know.
He kind of knows the whole situation already, it seems like.
He looks at you and then, uh...
He just kind of makes eye contact with you and you hear in your head...
You hear in your head...
He said...
Just, you just hear so people can hear in your head.
I'll just give him a little...
Alright, a bit of a hug.
Yeah.
Alright, and then uh, he says, we will travel to the ruins where we were hiding.
The ruins we were just at?
No.
Oh.
There's more ruins.
The ones we just fucked?
God's above, I hope not.
He's so funny, there's just like a backside that we didn't get into.
They're just hiding there, Jesus.
You think I'm gonna shit like a bully?
There's a lot of ruins everywhere, you know, I just...
Bad bro.
You know, you aren't from around here, I think you do.
Are you gonna eat this?
Oh yes.
My son will be accompanying us as well.
No, he's still resting guard, he needs to earn his keep.
Ah ha!
He's trying to be braver, so I'm trying to bring him out of here so he can...
How big is his keep?
Keep guard?
No, no, no, the son that we don't like as much.
Oh, they're twins, are they all the same size?
They're all about the same height as Nix.
Oh, okay, they are, okay.
They're half like this, right?
Okay.
Nix is like around the same height as everyone.
I'm a tall gnome, I'm at the max of the gnome height, but I'm still a gnome.
Yeah, so everyone, they're all around the same height.
It's like a tall Mexican, you know, I'm still capped out of this.
That's very true.
I do know some tall Mexican's though.
They're probably Puerto Rican.
Puerto Rican?
Not a sponsor.
By who?
Puerto Rico.
What do you mean?
Ask that question.
He says, we'll get you some mounts for those of you who fit on the clothwoods.
Just Nix.
Woo!
Yeah, literally just me now.
Came to share a ride with Frankie.
Your son almost died last night, he was on a clothwood.
He got caught in the rains and I had to go save him.
Is he also going to be riding the clothwood again?
Yeah, he's already gone before.
He got caught again?
Oh.
I mean, at that point, it's kind of on you.
Well, we do have a horse and carriage.
That's good, yeah, he can ride on that.
Do the rest of you want to ride in there as well?
I'll ride in there.
I'll ride on the clothwood.
Are we going to leave our cart here?
Yeah.
Okay.
Magical cart.
It would just be funny if we hooked it up to the horse and then for some reason we lost the horse and it was still good.
Save some battery power.
Solar power.
Yeah, there you go.
Powered by friendship.
Friendship.
Okay, I think we're ready to go.
I think I'm going to give the other sending stone that I have to Yoharis this time.
What the hell is this?
But I'm not doing it, I'm just like, you can see it.
Yeah, I mean we can do this whenever, but currently Yoharis is holding on to the belt.
We do need to set all that up.
I'm just going to get the belt out of my bag and I'm just going to toss it on the ground.
Fight amongst yourselves, I don't give a shit.
It's like you had the belt on.
I take my belt off.
I unzip my dick.
I don't know, he's going to say it.
I don't think now is the time.
Frankie would have wanted this.
I don't think, well not on the way, like we're getting some information.
Oh yeah, I didn't say now, but just that's a nice belt that we got to figure out what to do.
So hold on to it Yoharis.
I put the belt back on.
I was going to say, get some extra AC boost.
I re-zip my dick.
But just know, we got to set all that up at some point.
I call Franklin to take Frankie's place.
Franklin, there was a, you don't know about this, but yeah, we're going to be in a fight.
You don't get a new person now, that was your bet.
We're going to be in a fight, but we're going to help them.
Us spellcasters are going to help the other person win that fight.
We're not going to cast hurting spells.
Just to kind of explain what that was.
No, sure, I'm done.
I'm fine with getting down on your level.
But are you sure you want to help?
Help Nix?
Yeah.
I would love to help Nix.
I would love to help him.
Yeah, help Nix.
I would love to help him so much.
So at the end of the day,
if he feels like he's won, it's all because of me.
I don't want to help him.
I don't need to help no more.
You know what, never mind, ask them, let's just do it ourselves.
They're going to be busy.
Alright, so we all get our rings of 30, 40, and 20.
Are we going to be heading out then?
Yeah, we can get there really fast because of Yoharis.
How are you?
I don't know where we're going.
I smelt those trails a mile away.
So you didn't say anything about the sitting stone though.
You were finally giving it to Yoharis.
Yeah, I had no issue with that.
I just figured because sometimes he stays back,
so if need be, we can warn each other.
Yeah, usually you're near me, but he's far away.
You're familiar outside of the game about the
sitting stone, Ryan?
Isn't it just a way to communicate to people?
Yeah, I think it's once a day.
Once a day, 25 words or less.
Yeah, it's a pager.
Yeah, exactly.
A rocky-toppy.
Oh, I love that.
I'm getting the rocks off of me.
You can also keep track, but I'll keep track that I
have given it to you last.
I've been able to remember.
You've been able to remember it so far.
I'm so on.
Okay.
Keep an eye out.
So you guys are traveling along to some of the fields
and the ruins.
This area looks like old buildings, like homes at one
point, but there's just tons of debris everywhere.
It's uncomfortable.
It's like an old church maybe.
And it takes you in and says, there's an underground
passage here where we've been hiding.
Mmm.
I've been writing on my map, so now I know their
hiding spot.
So we're dark vision?
Yeah, so it's kind of dark in there and he says, we
have this giant stone here.
We need to move that out of the way.
All right, get out of here.
I got it.
It blows up his sleeves a little bit.
Do it.
I'm just going to just kind of gently just put my hand
on Dixon's shoulder and step past him and say, check
this out.
I'm going to touch the stone and cast Stone Shape and
just make it tour away.
Next thing I get, it just kind of shrugs my shoulders
like, I don't know, man.
I had Nick McSeth hasted and like, I wanted to move
the rock, but I guess this works too.
Don't we need to hide this though?
I mean, he can change it back.
He's pulling his weight already.
Just keep moving.
The door will close and the seam will disappear.
Oh, okay.
Mazogna's never seen that spell before.
You think that's a very nifty spell you got there?
Yeah.
That's handy.
I once used it to entomb a person in stone like 10
feet up beneath the ground for like three days.
He lived for three days?
Well, I left a little air in there.
I'll tell you what, that's the last time Grandma
ever said anything to me.
Oh, shit.
Hey.
This guy's growing on me a little bit.
I run for his life.
Next Thanksgiving was very awkward.
It was way less awkward.
No one talked back.
Yeah.
Grandma served me my food and didn't give me the side eye.
You're walking through this old, looks like, tunnel system
and you come across another, what looks like a wall of roots.
A wall of roots?
Yes.
What is this about?
He walks up and you see him put his hand on it and then the
druid, you kind of, it looks like a cow with tree roots.
Looks like what?
Like tree roots.
Oh, yeah.
And then they kind of just start parting and opening.
Oh, shit.
That looks pretty fucking cool.
I got the next one.
I'm going to just touch the roots as I go by and be like,
you look really cool.
Have a good day.
And then I walk away.
I didn't even play it.
I did not cast Speak With Points.
I have one character that says Beast and Leaf.
And that one that they can understand me, but I can't understand that.
You know, the people just think I'm just talking to them and pretending.
All right, so the AR is walking through the corridor and then you
see the roots kind of just form back as they're walking through.
And then you come across like torches and stuff lighting up the giant cave area.
As you approach, you see the few dragonborn.
The only surprise is Chief Gar says, it's okay, they're here with me.
And then you see a tall, hulking figure start walking towards you guys as
they're approached by a fur walk.
And then you see a man walking towards you guys and he says,
Chief Gar, who are they?
Is this because we met one before, haven't we?
A fur walk?
No.
We actually, well, so the witch in the forest, we know,
transformed back into a fur walk before.
When we were doing that job with all the homunculi.
Does this look like that same one?
Can you tell the difference?
Wait, this is a man.
I mean, I'm still, I do, I know.
That was also a shape shifter though too.
Well, they got 18 and stuff.
Can I do like an insight check?
I'm sure it's probably not okay.
On him?
Yeah.
Sure.
What are you intending?
His demeanor.
Okay.
Sure.
I got an 18 plus whatever it is.
He seems very cautious right now.
Proceeding with people.
We come in peace.
We're here with Chief Gar.
We just found his son, Largar, from someone that may or may not look like you.
What do you mean?
I mean, I'm not sure.
Is there any other, I don't know if Lasagna does even the name.
Is it the same one?
I thought that was the one in the forest that turned into a fur walk.
Not the one that teleported.
Yeah.
We just fought.
Oh, that wasn't a fur walk that we fought?
No.
Oh, okay.
No, I was just talking about some fur walk.
Yeah, that was the one that walked into the tree.
Yeah.
Fur walks are pretty tall.
They're about 70 feet tall, so they're pretty big creatures.
78 feet tall.
Attack of the Terrible.
Washington.
Attack of the Tiger.
Yeah.
Well, I mean, we just had a big fight, and we just come in peace.
We just kind of found some information that we're trying to get to the bottom of this.
What information do you have?
The Emerald Claw.
You've heard of them, correct?
That's why we're hiding.
Well, we know that they are using cursed jewelry to puppeteer the ruling class on the continent.
We also know that they're shipping in undead into cities and causing mass panic and hysteria,
and they're kidnapping as well.
On top of that, you know that they've been hunting you down and trying to exterminate your kind.
We have it under good suspicion, if not utmost certainty,
that they're laying their fingers out in major urban centers,
trying to cause panic and hysteria to try and regain a foothold on the continent.
And they're doing so through the Doraan family.
Jesus.
I thought they ended during the war, but I guess they won.
They're never done. They always want power.
Sore fucking losers they are.
Yeah, also they might be trying to control the Doraan family with jewelry that's magic.
Like mind control jewelry, man.
We also bought vampires too that might be involved.
Is there an echo in here?
He is an echo.
I hate each guy that says this is very troubling.
I don't have to alert my other contacts and let them know right away.
But, what did you say you saw for a war?
Well, let us, uh, I think it was myself and, well, your brother,
Oedahorus and your brother, Frankie's brother, saw a furbog in the forest.
She was creating creatures, like mashing up body parts of others to make one big creature.
Like for example, we saw two wolves and then they became one wolf.
I'm going to turn Nix around and also show him the hide that he has on his back.
Oh, I do have the button. Oh shit, yeah, I will pull out that dirty ass book and just hand it over to him and get it off of my body.
Yeah, he looks at it and he starts reading it and he just says...
So I take by that face and that noise, do you know this person?
You know this bitch?
I once did.
Is it your sister?
She was my wife.
Ah, no. WIFE!
So, did you start like doing necromancy while you were married or after you were married?
Before?
We tried to avoid doing the war because we wanted to just keep our forests attacked.
We were trying to just defend our forests and not get involved too much, but our daughter didn't want to stand around and join the front lines.
Unfortunately, she was killed in combat.
And once she died, she tried everything she could to bring her back.
Chaos lost her mind and started delving into darker magic to bring her back by any means.
What was your wife's name?
I used to call her Lindora.
Lindora?
Lindora.
She yells, that motherfucker, that wife's name, out your motherfucking mouth.
She might come over and smack the shit out of you if it can't probably be the size of your head.
And he just says...
He's just going through a book, I can't believe she's become such a monster.
And we had to dispatch all of the things that she had created at the time because on our way here, we passed by a village that was being terrorized by her and her creations.
And I killed that three-headed wolf, by the way.
Bastard.
I'm gonna lean over and the fucken's like, look, she's not even... that's wrong.
It's really injured.
That's some basic shit, dude.
Can you read your own book?
Actually, he's pretty tall, so he's kind of standing up and reading it.
I'm pretty tall too.
That's all you?
Two Nix's stacked on top of each other.
Seven feet tall.
Yeah, I don't measure in feet.
How many Nix's tall am I?
My length is Nix.
I go by his size, Nix.
This guy's about eight feet tall, so...
I sound like right behind him, so I'm like, maybe a little shorter than the book.
Maybe a little shorter than the book, yeah.
Looking at the book.
She's got it all wrong. You gotta do it like this. It's this symbol, not this.
She's not even channeling true evil.
Fucking noob.
This is diet evil.
And if you're gonna go, go all the way.
This is like the Splenda of atrocities.
You've gotta commit to the full send if you're gonna go this far.
Alright, let's get back to character.
That wasn't in character?
That wasn't?
That's just trash in this week.
Work.
He just says, uh...
I thought she had been killed, but...
Well, boy, howdy do I wish.
I'm probably gonna go on six for you.
What was your name, sir?
You called me Angus.
Angus?
Sir, we are offering to do something that many men pay a lot of money to do.
She has broken the laws of nature from the living and from the dead.
And I'm sure you know, you obviously understand this language like I do.
You know that what she has done is an atrocity.
This goes against the very laws of nature.
It does, and the war dogs will not stand for it.
Arrrrroo! Arrrrroo! Arrrrroo!
Is that the group name?
Yeah, Frankl is just shaking his head and going like, god damn.
You're one of us now, so you better get to barking.
All you adventurers are such silly people.
I gotta go my fucking things water.
We have to forgive us if we don't stay at least a little silly. We actually go batshit insane.
I mean, yes, I've met a few of you that prior to the event had their uh...
...lure forwards with a really silly man as well.
You know, maybe Chief Gar was right. I think that we might all just get prescribed one of these guys like at the start.
Here's your role.
Fun fact, you know, I literally was prescribed her.
And like, some guy showed up and my commanding officer was like, hey, he's gonna be with you.
And I've been with him since.
I forgot to talk about that.
I think the person's done the most trouble.
Killing robots and battles about.
I was the most most support.
He's his battle buddy. You ain't never had that?
BBs.
No, uh, Mr. Angus.
Battle by a combo.
My BBC.
Too boring.
Oh my god.
The gondola that's canon, right?
The butt. Feared on the battlefield.
The BBC.
Buddy combo.
Dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun.
Who you gonna call?
Oh, my.
My age group just tearing through everyone.
Tearing holes in everything.
Tearing them.
Yo, check out the war dogs. They got a BBC.
They got a couple of them actually.
Jesus.
Bring a couch with us.
Whenever we go to slap the fight.
Yeah, would you like to take a seat for a second?
I cast couch.
He's casting couch.
Oh god, he's doing it.
You know, frankly, you whole person, do you...
I mean...
I'm putting a full circle to P. Diddy here.
Not positive.
I hope not.
What's Harun's next emotion?
Cheer.
That's her next emotion.
Re-gret.
Shame.
Right.
Disgust.
But back to it.
Mr Angus, how...
Did you leave your wife on good terms?
Do you think that if you were to get your way outside of this hole
and get yourself back into the world that she would want to come and try and find you?
Well, I'm the one that... I thought I had killed her, so...
Oh!
So you wouldn't mind if we did?
Yes, I thought I had done it already, but I guess I'm a nosy.
How did you do it last time?
Clear question.
I'd rather not discuss that.
I mean, I can tell how I tried to kill her last time, and then we can exchange stories.
Did you try to kill her last time?
I mean, I tried to, but, you know, she's fast and not away, and I couldn't really touch her.
But I gave it an effort.
What's the bounty on a person like that?
Shit, dude, I didn't think that.
Will you pay us to kill your wife?
Will you pay extra for unspeakable... not sexual, but torture sex?
Will you stand out in the field and act as bait so we can kill your wife?
What?
Would you like to die with her?
I have to stay here and protect these people.
I mean, these or somewhere.
Hypothetically, nobody left to protect.
See what we brought her here.
This is the last of the Dragonborn.
Yeah, well, Chad had a good run.
Oh, Dragonborn!
Chad was mad!
Chad heard Dragonborn and was like, fuck that.
He's a war dog.
But yeah, so is there a bounty for putting an end to this act against nature?
The gods will appreciate it, but we did it to save people.
Diama, are you putting your name on that?
Well...
The gods will do it.
I have been known to help with increasing the potency of people's equipment.
Sorry, he's off. He gets my aggro.
Everybody have a BBC?
It's gonna get us stronger!
I'm more potent.
Ooh, I got what you need.
It's just a bag of raw onions.
So what do you mean by that?
If you have a magic item, I can make it stronger.
Or I can help bend a magic item that's broken.
Are you good at identifying potions, by the way?
I have this potion and I reach into my bag.
I don't know what it is. It's an unknown potion.
Can you please... do you know...
Is there anyone around that knows?
I think the chief knows. He identifies other potions I had.
Which potion did you have?
It's an out of character in my inventory. It just says unknown potion.
Do you remember you got it?
During one of our last combat encounters, I think it might have been the one that we just did.
Oh, did you have one of them? Because I said I had two greater healing potions.
Did you have one of them?
I'll mark one down and you'll have the other greater healing potion.
Oh, it's just another... oh, fuck yeah.
I realize that it's a greater healing potion than I had.
Because I had this little dark in here. Sorry, anyway.
Do you know where she might be?
I mean, obviously I know you thought she was dead.
But if she were to go to a place...
Where would she go?
Maybe another village to experiment or back to the Mournland.
I'm going to bring up my maps and show him this is where we found her.
Do you know that area?
It's a heavily forested area, but it might have been...
This wasn't one of the old travel routes for trading.
I guess what I'm asking is has he been to this area?
Does it make sense for her to also be there or is it just a random spot?
It's a random spot to him, he doesn't really know.
Okay.
I do have another question and it sounds silly, but in all seriousness...
Is there a particular taunt or insult we could levy at your ex-wife?
That would maybe make her control labor a little bit?
It would still be wife because death do you part.
She didn't actually die.
You know, I've always heard Franklin, if you tell a woman to calm down...
That usually helps to set the situation out.
Yeah, well I'm good at aggravating in general, I think.
But is there anything specific that would make her think of you?
That would make her think of you and just make her unbearably angry.
You can imagine you or our daughter...
What was your daughter's name?
That's a good one.
Her name was Zelda.
Zelda?
Zelda.
Z-I-L-D-A?
Yes.
I thought it was going to be with a whine.
Did we catch this guy's name or was it...
Angus.
Well, Angus, these are the last of the Dragonborn, you say?
Yes.
We've recently heard about Korra.
Do you know where he might be?
I'll find Youngfella, not the brightest, but...
Youngfella?
Oh, yes.
Is that one of the names of the Dragonborn?
No, he's...
Young is relative.
I've been around for quite a long time.
Oh, okay.
He's young for me.
I've been around long.
Just a baby.
Where is he at?
I don't know right now.
He's doing his doobur adventuring right now.
He's trying to take off the ennemo claw.
Oh, yeah, okay.
Sorry, I'm sorry.
That's why I was coming to you to see if you mind that.
We know he's being hunted.
You mind the ennemo claw?
Yes, he let me know that we unfortunately were attacked from Helminth as well.
My forest was burnt down in the process.
Man, a forest being burnt down, that sounds awful.
Yeah, I did.
It wasn't me.
It wasn't?
I don't know why you're looking at me, Homeroom.
I don't burn foresters down.
He already did burn my main thing.
You tried to that one time.
Just know, this last fight, I could have thrown some fire at you guys, but I didn't.
It would have been fine.
I would have been okay.
I would have had half or no.
It's a poor caster that starts a fire and doesn't burn the whole forest.
Throw a fireball at me anytime.
How big is this room?
I'm just kidding.
It's a giant ball of fire canvas projectile.
I mean, you want your armor or something.
Oh, I went for him.
No, but I have evasion.
Anything that makes me make a dexterity save, I automatically knock it down a notch.
So if I pass, it's no damage.
If I fail, it's only half.
That's how I survived that one blast of death that Frankie did not survive.
Well, any other questions that you guys might want to ask Angus here?
Not that much.
Well, he also said that you could booster magic items.
That's a reward, I think.
Yeah, that's a reward.
Well, I want to know what that's about.
Ask away!
Is it any magic item?
Well, I haven't done the double and made some new ones if needed or adjusted so yes, I could.
Like, Nick's here.
He has this wolf pelt.
Would you somehow be able to take the magical essence from that wolf pelt and put it into another armor?
Quite possibly. I could see what kind of materials he could work with.
You want to leave him your new armor with my wolf pelt?
I mean, yeah, that would be pretty fucking sick.
I mean, we're not using it now.
We've got to figure out who it's going to fit anyway, so that might be a pretty cool armor combination.
Is he doing this before though or after?
I'm wondering the question is, it's like we do the thing for him and then he's like, wolfing it out.
Well, yeah, yeah. I mean, I think we're making a bet.
Like, we give it to him and he'll do it, but if we don't do it, obviously, we're not going to get the armor back.
I'm not using the armor. Do you want the armor, Y'all Horus? We could just leave it here with him.
I don't really care. I have too many possessions as it is.
That sounds good to me. I don't want to be carrying around anything I don't need to carry.
Alright, so which way do we have to go to do this task?
That's the really big question.
We're at a bit of a loss right now.
We could head back north to that village because that was the last known whereabouts of this creature.
Do you have a map, Angus?
A map of what?
The continent.
Your wife.
Did he laugh?
Well, he didn't. That was out of character.
He just pulled down with the wife on it and he's like, where is she tipplered at? Right here?
No, I know those seeds at the back of my hand.
I don't carry maps with me, unfortunately, but I know where a lot of trees are.
That's all I'm saying. If you have a map that's big enough to show heavily wooded areas of where she might be that is close by to the area she just was.
I showed him where we found her originally and he said he wasn't really familiar with that area in general.
It seemed like it was a random spot that she chose to end.
She said she was going to get us later.
Maybe she's been following us. Although we've been going through predominantly plains, so it would be harder for her to track us jumping from tree to tree as there being no trees.
Out of character I'm a little confused on the action economy of what we're supposed to be doing for missions.
I know what we're supposed to be trying to go after is the Ennual Claw, the Dragonborn and the Witch.
But the Witch seems like more of a backtracking move.
Your big end goal here. The first real big goal you guys had was making sure you were told by the Information Broker that you were helping the guardsmen.
There on out. You know, you need more mission talk to her. I mean the odds are that in some way she's connected right with that Royal Claw. I'd imagine. More likely.
What? Oh.
So the Information Broker, he said that we would get more missions from him after that or from?
He's the one that sent you over to the guard climbing. They had asked for help.
So what's our next move?
I mean we could try. The thing is we don't know where anything is so we don't know where to go from here. We could move back to the nearest town.
Well we could go back to our village and get you guys packed for your next journey but I had made the deal with the Broker for aid. Now I have to pay my own deal and you can give him my payment. You see how that works?
Alright. I think that settles it then.
Let's head back to the camp unless you guys have any more questions for Angus.
I guess we just wait until he kills his wife and then bring some stuff for him. Your wife, here's her head, here's my armor.
I mean if this guy is even half as powerful as his brother then he must be an alright mage.
Yeah I mean, Frankie was always kind of the most likely to goof off and not try his hardest.
So who would say he's a better mage?
Me.
Oh okay.
Do you think Frankie would have agreed?
No but that's Frankie.
He used to agree all the time when I taught him my tricks.
So what does it mean? You say I owe you favors now?
Yeah.
Can you just tell me what they are and I'm like oh wait.
No.
One word answers.
Other people owe them favors too.
Angus will actually ask Rosario, these books that was hers, do you mind if I hold onto it?
I have a sigh of relief when he says if I could hold onto it. You could keep that nasty book.
Just so you know it's written in blood.
I can tell.
I want to ask him, is there anything important in there that I maybe should copy?
No I don't think you should be copying anything that's been done in here.
Trust me, you don't want to read it.
I don't have to read it to copy it.
I want to insight him for, I don't know, just get a general sense of does he want this book?
Does he want this book because it's connected to his wife?
Where is he, like for himself?
You can ask him, why can't we just destroy it?
He says, are you asking Angus this?
He says, I want to know what atrocities she's done in some case I need to undo them.
You said we shouldn't read it.
You shouldn't.
He wouldn't understand the complexity of this.
Call my friend dumb?
He just wouldn't understand it, man.
Can you read the book?
I didn't say I could.
That one was written in druidic, right?
Yeah.
If it was written in L, I should have read it.
I'd send a character.
Of course it was in character.
Alright, I guess we just head back to the village and pack up for the night.
Angus does look at you as well, he says that you are one of the druids as well, so I trust that you will uphold this and get rid of someone who has done such a general front to nature.
Oh, this isn't a monstrosity to nature.
I would like to undo what she has done.
So what was he...they're hiding out.
He's the dragonborn? No, he's the furbolg.
So he knows where the dragonborn is?
He's hiding there.
You guys are in there with him right now.
Oh, he's also there.
Yeah, he's helping to charge them.
He's the one that helped when it came to him.
Okay, and that one's name is...
So Angus is a furbolg if you guys haven't talked to him.
Okay, but what's the dragonborn's name?
We're in a room full of dragonborn.
Oh, they're all a dragonborn.
Yeah, because you remember the Spaticus clan wiped out the dragonborn.
These are the last of the dragonborn.
Okay.
So this is the last of them at the singular, but I was like, but the dragonborn is the chosen one.
Yeah, there is quite a lot.
So that's what you gotta do.
If there's a chosen one, then there's like a...
Then there's a select few still left that get you down.
Depends on the others.
The chosen one shall hereon be referred to as the Dovahkiin.
Dovahkiin.
Well, because I think it specifically referenced the last red dragonborn.
Well, I don't know if you guys know that.
I don't know if you're other kid meeting.
Who doesn't know it?
I don't know if you were told that you were a kid meeting.
I would have been.
Did you?
You might have been.
I don't know.
I thought the guard chief said the last red dragonborn.
He might have, yeah.
These are the worst of the red dragons.
They're mostly...
Prophecy says the last dragonborn is going to save us.
The last red dragon son.
Yep, there it is, yeah.
Cool, I had a heat of say that.
Yeah, um...
He's being hunted, but then they're just hunting them all just for good measure.
Alright, well, Angus, you stay safe down here.
Don't do anything Nix would do.
I should keep you safe.
I get him alone.
He says I will protect him with my license.
If you do find her, you make sure you put an end to her.
Always.
For sure.
Do you have any long rest buffs?
So what are we talking about?
Can't.
Nah, I'm good.
Do you have anything with her scent possibly?
A book or an item of hers.
Alright, I guess we need to haul on to that book.
Can we take a page out of the book?
Like maybe a blank one?
No, just like the whole book.
I'm scared of ripping the magic book.
It's not magical.
Is it not?
It's just a notebook that's made out of human skin and written in a block.
So she didn't even have to make it out of standard.
Yeah, it's crazy.
It's the most fucked up grimoire I've ever seen.
It's a fucking choice.
She's a great girl.
She could have easily made it out of nature.
It was just like now or never.
Is this the biggest tryhard effort you have ever heard of?
So he doesn't have anything else from her?
He's being edgy for no reason.
How much work does that have to have with people for this?
For no magical purpose.
For no magic?
Maybe.
Doesn't even need to be with gods?
Sure.
Roll a dream.
Jalen, you pick.
I'll do evens.
Yeah, so he says he's wearing a necklace and he says this one's our daughter's necklace
that she has given her.
Alright, I take it.
That'll be perfect.
Maybe it'll kind of give her some to come back from the dark side.
Yeah, sure.
I don't think.
I'm looking to save her.
That's what I'm looking to do.
I don't think someone who's done what she's done is ever saving at this point.
Oh, okay.
I love it.
What a happy ending to your guys' disastrous marriage.
Thank you, Angus.
You keep him safe.
I need to say please, don't let anyone know the Dragonborn are here.
What Dragonborn?
Here it is.
The chief kind of gives the nod and you guys will turn back and say hello.
I will contact you once we need more information.
Senor, is he listening to us now?
Angus, who's the leader of this group of yours?
That would be me.
Oh, son of a bitch.
No, it is me.
As I understand it, there's only a few, and I'm going to point of Lee not look at Nier, Nix, or Harun, but not quite at your heart, who are smart enough to make decisions.
Listen, I'm the leader.
I'm not making the decisions.
I'm just the figurehead.
Harun, I think that's the technical term we're thinking of is mascot.
You know I'm not an animal.
That's a distinguishable term.
Most thing to a beast, this guy.
Point to Nix.
Mascot and mussels.
The BBC of choice.
MMCI.
There is so much going on.
Muscly mascots.
I like what this is going on.
You should make a vlog of another mascot.
You can't get better than an animal.
Hey, Harun, you can too.
No, I can't.
Not for three days.
We didn't say you were a very good mascot, so that's okay.
What kind of mascot would you like today, Harun?
What?
What kind of mascot would you like to see today?
From you?
Yeah.
Wait.
A bird.
A bird?
A bird.
I think I can turn into a giant eagle right now.
Harun, I think I can solve this, guys, with something Frankie told me in his letters.
The mascot is the one who wears the most fun hats.
God damn it.
Was that the right thing to say, guys?
That's a great thing to say.
Did you show Franklin your hats yet?
He doesn't care.
Let me say this, Scott.
I don't have respect for anybody who tries to say they're my leader, but mascots fuck
them up.
And they're cool hats.
Let's get out of this dragon hole and docking underground.
I'm just rocking.
Nick, you got to move the rock.
Yeah, okay, I'm doing it.
I'm on my way.
And I go to move the rock.
I just move right in front of him and open the door that's still there.
Close in and say good luck.
I stand next to Nick.
Go ahead.
Off of Franklin.
You just make the door ajar.
Dirty 20.
No, it just doesn't go away.
It's not like a semi-permanent thing.
It's just there now.
No, but I mean, like, if he's rotating the rock, that means the door gets pinned down.
Yeah, as soon as the rock moves, you just go to the other side.
I'm proud of you.
Thank you, thank you.
At least people won't be questioning why there's a door.
Oh, thank goodness.
That's adorable.
You want a ride, buddy?
Yes, please.
All right, off we go.
All right, you guys go back to camp.
And as you guys make your way back to camp, Chief Garland will say,
we do appreciate all of you and your efforts.
I'm glad that this lead from the Information Broker was able to follow through.
I owe him a favor now as well, so.
What time of the day is it?
It's about middle of the day right now.
Lasagna is actually going to spend the rest of the day in Look at Chief Garland.
Because this is a farming community, right?
Yeah.
I'm going to concentrate on a spell for eight hours, Gonzo.
Cool.
Plant growth.
All right.
And it's going to flourish this farming community for the next year.
Your heart is?
Yes.
As you guys travel back, I want you to roll me in your perception.
Oh, we're still walking back, sir.
This is just for your heart, for a second.
All right.
Oh, okay.
Have you passed by some fields there?
Hold on a minute.
I need to look at skills in favor of terrain, so I get a bonus.
Nineteen.
Nice, yeah.
So you see some of the fields, they have some sort of like a couple of buildings
where they're gluing a bunch of grain and other stuff there.
And some weird looking things.
This intrigues my primordial elvish senses.
And I go off.
That's Chief Garland.
I mean, Chief Garland, you can have the announcement as well.
I point off to the buildings with the weird happenstance.
What's going on over there?
What's the routine to keep our grains and beans and such?
I thought you were also an amatic.
Yes, but we've established this area for a little while now.
The soil here has recovered, and we've been able to farm on it.
So we've been luckily able to establish some of the purpose-based here.
Can I roll insight on that?
Yeah.
Oh, well, I don't know.
Twelve.
I mean, Chief's a delinquent.
We don't know how long this will be because if they're searching,
then we might have to move.
What made you ask, Amaris?
Something about that over there.
Something feels off.
We need to go check it out?
By all means.
We make a detour.
He's like, sure, as you walk through, there's some grains,
and then there are a bag of beans and green beans.
I check out the bean bag.
You haven't really seen much beans before, have you?
There are these little small brown things.
Are they gonzo beans?
The high gets capped out is what I hear.
I was going to say gar-bob, gar-gonzo.
Gar-gonzo.
Oh, shit!
These are the gar-gonzo fields.
I look to Chief Gar.
I'm very interested into these.
What in the world is this?
These are pinto beans.
What is a pinto bean?
We got it from trading, and we started...
That's what the traders called it.
We started planting it on a field.
They're very nutritious and delicious.
Out on a bit of a limb here.
May I have a small portion of these pinto beans?
Well, you can have a whole sack,
seeing as you've been so kind as to help our clan.
I grab him on both shoulders,
and I look him in the eyes, and I say,
I will never forget this.
I stuff the bag into my bag.
It's a five pound bag.
Good.
The other stuff is just grain.
Yeah, there are different types of grains.
You mean like stuff that turns into flour?
Yep.
Do you have a mill?
Bacon splice.
You're going to crush him up with these hands?
They go pretty fast.
Good, good, good, good.
He's a girl's best friend.
Can I get a little bit of the grains?
Sure. Remember, they have native fresh bread there as well.
They're already making it.
Yeah, but I want to have some grains
so I can possibly make some stuff out on the road.
Yeah, he says he gives you a five pound bag as well.
Nice.
That's a lot of grains if it's a five pound bag.
We've got so much grain, guys.
I'm like rolling it until it can fit into the bag.
He says, are you looking at your supplies
before you go on your adventure?
Yeah, I mean, we're kind of full on supplies.
We kind of stocked up before we left.
We could always stock up here again.
And then he says, well, we can get back to camp.
Let me know if you need anything else.
And then as you get to camp as well,
you guys are kind of just loading your grain
and stuff onto your magic card.
A piece of paper comes and slides
and kind of just lands in your hand.
I was just about to think about that.
I was just thinking about that.
Is it Remy?
Yeah, it's your pen pal right there.
Remy.
Is it like an origami bird that comes out of the air?
Yeah, and then it kind of just unfolds
and like lands in your hand.
Fuck yeah.
What does it say?
He says, oh, it's so good to hear from you.
I'm glad you're still out adventuring.
He says, I'm traveling as well.
And these recipes you are looking for
is intriguing as well.
So he sends you a list of what possible ingredients
might be good for a type of balance
of what you're looking for.
And that was the ingredients that I got,
the spices from Yau Harris,
and the ingredients that Karun and I got together.
Yeah, he also has like a...
on there a word to possibly get these sorts of ingredients.
Okay.
What recipes?
He says to...
there's like tomato-based recipes,
and party things, and...
I will show Yau Harris this way.
Yau Harris, you remember that letter we sent?
I do.
Check out the recipes that Randy got back with me on this.
Oh, my.
Remember, you told me you wanted to take a look
if we got word back.
That we need...
maybe we can incorporate my new beans.
That sounds good.
I don't think I've ever had beans either.
Not these bean-thrown beans that you got.
I've never heard of them either.
I don't understand why they say it.
Why do they say it?
Oh, I don't know.
I mean, we call them lagoons where I'm from.
Water?
Isn't it lagoon?
Lagoon.
Yeah, I'm sorry.
Lagoon.
The only reason Karun would know that is probably on a map somewhere.
Something lagoon.
That's a lagoon.
Like, that's a lagoon? That's so small!
Lagoon.
People's gonna knock these again.
That's all right.
That's all right at all.
Not at all, boy.
As a...
Yes, he kind of...
Chief Guard's accountants and all of you says,
Huh, that was interesting.
Would you like any wine as well to go for the...
No, I think we're gonna camp here for the night, right?
Okay, yes please.
Feel free to stay in it.
Or are we gonna head out?
I think we should head out.
Just pick up a little bit of time.
Okay.
Where are we going?
I thought somebody else would know.
I'm honest enough, sir.
We should go to the mooring.
That's where we should go.
The moorlands.
The moorland.
I wouldn't go there unless you want to meet your end.
Yeah, the moorlands are tough.
I hear we have to be a level 12 to go there.
I'd recommend going back to...
I mean, the Information Broker can find you or you can talk to him.
So we should go...
Wait, do we have to actually go back to that place to find the Information Broker?
To Sharn?
No.
Because he just popped up into a town.
I think he said he'll find us.
Well, he knows where to find these people, so I say that we stay put for the time being.
And then he will, as he said, find us.
How long do we stay put?
Well, before it's too long.
I just like whisper, like, kind of quietly.
It's like, the Information Broker already found you.
So didn't the last time we found it, though, we were like...
We were in the town with the card, you know, that it was kind of like we stumbled upon it.
Yeah.
Can I look at my map and see if he pops up on there?
It's like a new icon on the map.
Like, what is this?
Yeah, somebody sent a request.
I love that the map screen would just have, like, Harun's hands just, like, kind of like holding the map.
Yeah, moving it slightly.
I like it.
It's in this part of the map that we haven't been to yet, but we know it's down there.
Pressing something on every now and then.
Like, I mean, we could go back to the town we were just at.
That's an option.
The town where we found Gar.
Yes.
Lager.
Yeah, also, you know, where, you know...
Yeah.
Could go back there.
Yeah, probably.
Right.
Yeah.
Do we want to get going?
Yeah, the gather hole is back over there.
Not!
I mean, if we're about to go on a trip and you get some rest...
Haru, yeah.
You know, when you're mountain there's a black star on top of that.
Oh, there is?
Yeah.
Is it at the town we're going to?
At the town that you guys found Gar outside.
I actually... whoa, something new happened!
And then it got disappears.
I...
Um, never mind.
What did you see, Haru?
It's not there anymore.
Well, what wasn't there?
Something that was there, but now it's gone.
Where was it?
I think we should go to the town.
Okay, then let's go to the town.
What were you saying, Nix?
You were saying something.
Well, if we're about to leave and go on a long journey to the town, should we just use some energy before we go on this long journey?
The town was less than a day away.
But if we're leaving in the middle of the night, and have a lot of...
The middle of the day.
...the middle of the day with some, you know, sauce.
Don't worry, it won't take long.
We won't use too many resources.
Are you guys... are you talking about...
It'll probably be a minute in real time.
Yeah, I was gonna say, Nix, are you talking about a little fight situation here?
Yeah, that's not all we're gonna settle.
Probably would take another two minutes, though.
Okay.
Chief Gar, is there an area that we may do this that is, you know, possible that might get a little reckless away from everybody?
It won't get reckless at all. It won't take any...
We don't want to ruin any of your fun.
Okay, it won't get reckless at all. Not even for an attack.
Yeah.
Yeah, no reckless attack.
You didn't say that.
You said it wouldn't get reckless. That's reckless.
You can... try...
Somewhere where there are ruins where people don't have a farmland, any one of those areas, feel free.
Alright.
I'll try to spot them in the farms.
Well, these were at one point...
Yeah.
Before the war.
He's good. He's fixed now. Don't look at him like that.
He doesn't know about that.
Oh, wait, no, he doesn't. He probably got written about it.
That's not a thing anymore.
I take... It's fucking loser cave, you hear the word war.
I find a good area and I draw as best I can a 20 foot circle around it to make a fighting arena.
You have to stay in it?
Well, that's going on...
Just so you know where you are.
Oh, that's like the center. If we start getting on course, we should go back.
Yeah.
I'm going to use my arcane recovery to cover my...
Perfect.
Jeter!
You have all your spells? I'm giving myself back one fourth level spell and one first level spell.
Uh, Heru and Jelman, are you letting me rage before we get this going or are we going to get this going and I rage in the middle?
Oh, you need to rage first?
I mean, they helped me get in the mood of a fight, yeah.
Like you need to do it?
I need to get angry by this.
Yeah?
Yeah.
Well...
Heru took up arcane recovery.
That's just too emotional.
He might next...
Yeah, it's okay, Nick, since you need to rage first before you fight me.
Heru's not calling you a bitch, but...
Okay, I'll wait.
I mean, you said he'd be done in like two minutes.
Okay.
That's longer than you last in bed.
I don't have a slasher at all, and at least I got a wookie-dick her.
I thought he was going to attach one here.
Are you guys going to fight it out?
Yeah.
Alright, roll initiative.
With assistance, right?
Yeah, you guys giving him the assistance?
Yeah, I'm going to go over to Heru's corner and just start massaging his robot shoulders as if that's going to relax him a bit.
What's your deck?
17.
He's going to go first.
What's your deck?
My deck's 14.
Okay, good.
Do we have to roll initiative on this too since we're kind of aiding him, or should we go on there?
You go on there, Heru.
Okay.
Alright.
Well, since I am rolling first, I'm going to rage.
So, wait, wait.
Spellcasting rules real quick.
Is it purely spells that support our fighter, or can we do things to the other fighter so long as it's not damage?
I thought we were talking about only being support.
Only support.
That's why I'm curious.
I just want to make sure the rules are not in place.
But I'm also thinking like debuff is supporting, you know?
I guess we could.
I really don't know what you guys have or do, so I don't know which way you're going.
The original interpretation was like buff and support by whatever the spellcasters decide.
I just have some things that, I mean, I got a lot in the way of buff or debuff.
Well, I know.
So I just want to make sure we're not like making it, skewing it heavy one way or the other.
We could just say like we could just do the person.
Because I mean, I don't really have much personally that will debuff.
The only thing that I have that is a debuff is the same exact thing that I have that is a buff.
So.
Okay, then.
I fucking hit it.
Would you roll?
On my rage?
Oh, I thought you said you hit.
Oh, I hit on my rage roll.
Shouldn't we buff before we do?
Oh.
You go on his turn.
Yeah, okay.
So.
Oh, you haven't tried to hit me.
You just mean you got the rage roll.
I got the perfect range.
Okay.
All right, well, if I'm throwing down a buff, I will hit you with a haste.
Please take an extra 2 to your AC, advantage on deck saves and an extra attack.
Cool.
I'm going to wait until you will certainly activate my rage ability and I'll just wait
for you to see what it is.
So you're holding your turn?
No, no, no, I'm using rage.
I'm just making it explain what it is for surprise factor.
Oh, okay.
He'll find out a really rough one.
So for my first attack, I'm going to use menacing strike.
I'm going to need a, what does it say?
A wisdom save of 16 for me.
Oh, that's only if I hit.
I hit.
I got 21.
Is it a melee or a ranged spell?
Melee attack.
Melee attack?
I have a sub-boss now.
You're already raging, so do you get that advantage?
Because I have my cloak at disadvantage for attacks against me.
Oh, reckless attack.
Well, if it's a reckless attack, then it's just a straight attack.
So then yeah, you just have to roll.
Yeah, so he just now has advantage.
Okay.
I'm perfectly fine with this.
Does reckless attack a reaction?
No.
No, I think you just do it.
You just write it as a friend.
Yeah, I think it's just like it's a feature as a barbarian.
Okay, okay.
So it was 21 to hit.
Okay.
I do...I'm going to need a wisdom save of 16 for me.
You got it, Harun.
Be good.
Nope, one off.
Damn!
Cool, you are now feared.
Okay.
So you're trying to swap disadvantage on the attack rolls against you?
Yeah, he can, a little bit of...
He's frightened until the end of my next turn.
So whatever comes with a fighting condition.
Disadvantage on ability checks and attack rolls will be...
...a sorcerer.
So you're in the...
He can see you.
Yeah.
You can't really move closer to the sorcerer.
See, you can't move closer to the sorcerer.
Is that the D-Buff spell could be the old person name?
No.
And I did 19 damage.
Okay.
I'm now going to hit you with a disarming of strike.
I'm going to need a strike save of 16.
Wait, if I hit...does a 20 hit?
Is that also at reckless?
Yeah, all these are reckless.
Okay, a 20?
20.
Yep, so a strike save of 16.
Should take another build, right?
You didn't want a 16.
No, I said that Nyx could hold onto it and promptly gave it to...
I wanted to earn it.
...Yahara's.
You could just get her right now.
You said what? A strike save?
A strike save of 16.
Is that a team?
Okay, well...
Plus one, 18.
Oh, you hold onto your weapons.
That is 25 damage.
And then this was just a regular attack.
Then how about two of your weapons will be doubled?
Okay, does a 22 hit?
Yes.
I was like, how many times does Gimah actually do that?
17 damage.
You said 17?
17.
Everybody's like, oh no.
Yeah, I'm done.
Oh my god.
I feel like this was a straight up Pokemon battle.
It's like, go Nyx!
He just fucking goes, ahhh!
Damn.
I wanted you to fight me back a little bit because the rage bonus I got is every time I get hit with an attack, you take 1d6 of force damage.
So against the monk every time you hit me.
It's just going to be like, hit me fool!
I'm excited to get into a combat of us versus some group or other enemy or something like that.
It's like a lot I can do.
Alright, as Harun's on the ground, I'll walk up to him, gently and kindly.
I'll be like, hey buddy, you want to know why they put you on my team?
They knew I could do this anytime I needed to.
And then I picked you up.
He still has 0 HP, he's unconscious.
I'm going to walk over to him.
Nyx is a ready pro.
Jesus Christ.
And I webcast Cure Wounds.
This will be at a third level, Cure Wounds.
3d8 plus 1d4 because my moon sickle.
10, 17, 20 plus 5. 25 HP, I'm back to you.
Was this for the belt?
This is for my belt, yeah.
Harun belt.
I will walk up to Y'allharus.
I'll say the thing I said to Harun, but now that he's conscious I say it again.
And then I'll walk over to Y'allharus and ask him to go.
Well, dear Lord and Gods above, I knew you could do it, but wow.
Well, I take off the belt.
We're in deferent square.
Before Nyx puts it on, I drop haste so he's lethargic and I take the belt down to his hand.
And I hold the belt in front of him as he's just sitting there like, getting back that energy and I say, thank you.
I didn't need your help though.
That didn't sound like thank you.
He's got a point, you know.
You should say it in Elvish, he'll understand it better.
Hold on, let me just do this.
I hold the belt up as high as I can out of his range and say, huh?
Thanks?
No, no, no.
The words were thank and you.
Thank you.
I say thank you in Elvish.
So you know how to say it, come on.
I try my best to say it in whatever I attempted Elvish to say.
Whatever he says, I'm going to try my best to say it back.
One form is wrong.
Oh, not bad.
15 plus.
Minus one.
Oh wait, no, you say you're not minus anything anymore.
Yeah, well I was never, I rolled decently.
Oh, okay.
Curse mode was still my dumpster.
Plus one.
No, intelligence was my dumpster.
I couldn't tell.
So 16.
Yeah, so I mean, he got, you understand Elvish?
I don't know.
No, perfect.
Yeah, so he says like, enough, it sounds like a child saying it, but you know, you got it.
It's really cute to you.
Cool, I pat his head and say, there you go.
I give him the spell.
Cool.
See, I told you he could speak it.
I fucking told you.
Something that's really funny to me is that you can cancel concentration anytime you want.
And there's actually not a save against haste because it's purely a beneficial thing.
So it's really funny in my mind to throw it on somebody and be like, now you have it, now you don't, and now you're tired.
Now you're tired for all the turn.
Me ain't got your belt, you gonna put it on?
Yeah, I'm gonna put it on.
I was so tempted to.
Make sure to add that one to your AC.
I was so tempted to go with this one.
What's your AC now?
22.
Oh my god.
What the fuck?
Mid maxed.
Well, so something like mid maxed, it's more like, I have medium armor plus two, so 16.
But my medium armor gives me plus one.
That's right, the red armor does give you the plus one.
So 17, plus I got my thing 18, my belt, and then I have a plus four shield, 22.
A plus four shield.
Oh, so like a plus two shield.
Plus two, yeah, a shield plus two.
So 22.
A shield plus two does work.
It's the only reason why I hesitate to go to two handed.
That four AC job keeps me like, fuck.
That's my problem, I'm at, I think minus 13 AC without, if I'm too wielding the moon
stick along the staff.
But if I have the shield, it jumps to 17.
Here's a thought, especially for Nyx.
I wonder if Mr. Dragonborn, I dabble in magic items, could turn your shield into an animated
shield.
Hands free.
By the way, it is worth mentioning, I do have bark skin, so if you ever want to dual wield,
I could still give you like some armor.
Yeah, that might be helpful now, because now that I'm dual wielding, I used to not have
that problem because I was only carrying the staff, but I do need to look at other things
like that, so that might help.
Yeah, so.
Nyx.
I'm glad you won and you're satisfied with your victory.
And you've forgotten about how I beat your ass when you didn't have anything.
I mean, we played on, that was playing on your turn, and then we played on my turn.
My turns, I didn't have half my key points.
You could use weapons.
I have my fists.
Can we play on my turns now?
What's your turn?
I like staff my fire staff, and it like goes on fire.
I could beat your ass right here.
I'd like to step in on that action.
Please give me a reason.
A real deciding factor would be like if we, if I just was a little bit further away.
Also, like the rage I got gave me extra common assist to Rekkles attack, because I wanted
to get hit, so I'd probably play a little more cautious with a different rage.
I have, yeah, so are we like done with this session?
Yeah, we're done more or less.
Go to bed for the night.
Yeah, you.
Nyx tuckered himself out after that one round.
You're awake now, Harun, you got beat up, and then you guys go back to camp.
That was just not fair.
New armor fucking hasted right off the bat.
Well, the debuffs might have been worse.
I built my character because I was like, OK, so what do I want to do besides, I don't necessarily
just want to throw damage or whatever.
I was like, that's something that maybe as a party we're lacking a little bit, is like
the ability to just be like, to look at enemies and go, no thank you, no thank you, no thank
you, you know.
So I have slow.
Slow is mean.
And that's honestly would probably be, it wouldn't work as well on you necessarily because
you have your high wisdom.
Yeah.
But that would be like my strap for taking Nyx and saying no, it's OK.
If we would have had a turn, I was going to cast Sanctuary on him when he was done.
So then at that point, it's like it's up to you to roll good.
You know.
Yeah.
I would have just kept doing that.
I mean, well, I guess this towing the lines of affecting other people, counter-smealth,
Sanctuary, it's fair.
Fair.
You guys make it back to camp and you come back wearing the belt proudly and the chief
says you can rest here for the night and then make it and stock you up before you leave
in the morning.
Do I look like a man of honor in this town seeing that I'm wearing their belt and wearing
their armor?
Because if I do, I want to sit down in the middle of the yard and get as many free drinks
as possible.
I feel like they're probably already giving us free drinks first or anything.
Nobody's first or anything.
Right on.
This is it.
And he says they better not start.
He rescued his son, so I don't think he'd really be able to.
Well, that was a good session, boys.
Yeah, it's got some more information.
Figure out what we got to do next.
But great session, folks.
We'll catch you next time.
Later, nerds.
You're headed towards.