You said it best. This is AM 97. This is the fucking hour.
It's ASMR 97 actually. ASMR 69.
ASMR DND. Yeah. I rolled a grin.
I got a natural fucking grin. Oh I'm grinning. I'm grinning.
Alright, enough of that though.
All the clicking and clacking.
I mean. Don't edge me Will. Don't edge me Will.
I might like Gonzo whispering in my ear. It's fine.
Again.
But anyways, this is freaking nerds.
Nerds.
A DND podcast where we have six friends about to get into a fight with a bunch of halflings.
I think it's halflings.
Might be only five friends now depending on how bad the DM beats us.
Yeah, we shall see.
I did ask Bronz if he wanted to come today, but he was busy being a dad.
I get that. I get that.
And the meld is Yohar.
See Yohar out of nowhere. See Yohar just comes in with a train out of nowhere.
Saves you and be like, toodles.
And Yohar's just, god damn it. God damn it.
Yeah, I wouldn't be happy about it.
Happy of a lady's birthday.
He's like, I'm using my advantage to attack her. Like what? No, I'm choosing it.
I am Will or Will I am? I don't really know.
It's been a while since I said that, but I play Lazagna Moscai.
The druid wood elf cleric.
Who is a little...
What animal are you currently in?
Oh no, actually I was a panther. I changed back.
But false fact about Nyx is that his spirit animal is actually a gorilla.
That adds up.
Yeah, so...
Have you seen my chest hair, bro?
I have.
It was singed off.
Every night Harun plucks just a little bit.
Just a little bit off.
Why is it like steel wool?
You know what Harun reminds me of a little bit?
Beemo from Adventure Time.
A little bit.
Beemo.
In a jig?
I'm Jalen, playing Nyx the Barbarian.
Who's currently the giant ape.
Who will soon be the raging giant ape.
Who will also hopefully be the raging teleporting dragon ape.
Only the dice will let us know that.
False fact about Frankie is...
Added between him and his brother Franklin.
Franklin is the less liked sibling.
And this is a false fact.
Ohhhhh.
Okay.
I like it too.
Hi, I'm Ben.
I'm playing Frank the Tank.
Frankie... Frankie the Tanky.
The tankiest boy.
The tankiest of us all.
Every week you say that false fact.
He does a fun one about himself.
Yeah.
I'm a fairy and a bard.
And I'm here to turn people into giant apes and let them see what happens.
And a false yet super fun fact about Y'Harris is...
He... I feel like I've done this one before.
But I'm going to pull a twist on it.
Which is... I feel like I've said he's strangled his twin in the womb.
But the fun false fact aside from that one is that...
When his parents were having another set of twins, he also strangled them in the womb.
Get over here mom.
He said, mom, dad, I'm an only child.
That's all that's ever going to be.
That's fucking horrific.
I don't know how far that is.
That's a false fact.
Hello, I'm scared.
Good thing this is...
Why does nobody want to sit on my side of the table?
Nobody sits next to Ben after this.
But tonight I will be playing Y'Harris Sifrith the Iladrin Ranger.
Still in my summer form.
And a fun false fact about Harun is that his favorite word is biscuit.
That is a false word, it's hats.
That's not biscuit.
My name is Mark and I play Harun Wen.
Warforged monk.
I don't know how much of a baby he is anymore.
Let's hear that sexy voice for a second.
Yeah.
He needs this right now.
I need this.
I love that Will has these headphones so he has to listen to me.
Yes.
My false fact about L'Zogna is that he actually makes his own toilet paper.
Does he get help from L'Zogna as they all do in your free time?
But specifically not from anything like leaves or trees.
He has a whole bunch of woodland friends and whatever is left over from when he shakes out during Wild Shape.
And likes to take the leftover hair and just kind of ball it up.
And that's his version of TP, biodegradable.
Then he keeps it after.
That's what he uses for deodorant.
I have in Wild Shape. That's canon.
Why is half the party's false facts just fucking horrific?
Why not?
I mean who's going to use the hair once it's already off the party?
It's pretty fucked up to call your friends and say,
Hey, who did you find swinging by? I gotta go.
Now Gonzo, I know usually I ask what you're wearing, but I have my Santa hat on today.
And I have something for you as the DM.
This is technically your Christmas gift, but I figured I might as well give it to you today because it is sort of relevant.
It's red wrapping.
Yeah, it's like Super Mario wrapping.
I'm waiting for it to explode in the space in front of me.
It's an automatic win.
So obviously from the front you can't see what it is, but if you open it up.
Oh, that's like pretty fucking cool.
Oh, it's radius. Yes, it's a bunch of spells.
Yeah, radius for D&D spells.
Physical rings and circles.
That's so cool. I'm going to be using this today.
Yes. And what was the other gift that you got?
Oh, are these socks?
They are socks.
Oh my god, I'm going to come in the... I mean, I think you can.
Look at that. D20s.
D20s.
You can certainly try.
They only have prints on them.
You can certainly try.
All right. Thank you, Will. I really appreciate that.
No problem.
I'm actually really excited for these because this will make things really simpler.
Yes. And I feel like we've...
What's the title there?
Artifacts of Arcane Arbitration.
Not sponsored.
Yeah, I don't know if that is like an official D&D thing, but it'll definitely do the job.
Oh, you have a 20-foot radius.
Nice. Oh, no.
But yes, I feel like there's been multiple times in certain sessions.
I don't think with us, but with other sessions that I've had where we were using a battle map,
we're like, oh, a 20-foot cube. Bap, bap. You know, trying to...
Right.
You know.
Just for that?
Dude, look at the 30-foot cube. Put that down.
Let's all go die in class.
I just want to see if I stack it with our squares.
How accurate the square is.
Oh, yeah.
One, two, three, four, five, six.
It's in there.
Oh, yeah.
One, two, three, four, five, six. Yeah.
This is a 30-foot cube.
Compared to this, to your book.
We got cones and like...
Yep, cones.
15-foot cone. They got 30-foot cones.
It's meant to be in the middle of that, yeah.
This is so fucking cool.
Hell, yeah.
Thanks, Will.
No problem, because I figured, you know, with the combat, you would definitely need it today,
and that's why I wanted to give it to you today.
I appreciate that. Look at that. He's buying my love.
Yeah, do I get inspiration? That was actually going to be my follow-up.
I think you should get inspiration.
You'll get something on Slate.
I was saying, just for that, you get to die last.
I want to get...
You get to watch your friends die.
Totally.
You get to watch your Claire die.
Yeah, and hopefully, we can bring them back.
You get the coolest last words.
Yeah.
Oh, man, yes.
It's like, it's like, what's the...?
I'll see you soon, fat-a-kiss.
Little fat-a-kiss.
Well, you're definitely soaking up these holiday spirit right now.
Oh, no.
It's so hot.
SpongeBob socks.
I can see right through your spongy exterior.
Are my holes showing?
Your holes are showing.
Anyone see my holes?
Can you regenerate?
Oh, dear lord.
What? I'm a sponge.
Are you ready?
Are we playing Soggy Sponge?
Yeah, what's your real fact?
My real fact is about...
Let's see, it was about Frankie.
Hi. That's me.
Is he now a tank?
Frankie is just so...
Frankie just so good at smooth talking that, you know,
he's gotten so good at talking to the group specifically that
whenever he's trying to convince you guys of something,
he now has advantage on convincing the guys.
That's so...
What?
That's... no.
There's gotta be some...
Is it persuasion and or deception?
Persuasion.
He's a really persuasive guy.
He's got you guys to do a lot of dumb shit.
Hey, Lizogna, I got something on my toes.
Can you just get down there and lick them real quick?
Can I roll persuasion?
Oh, no.
That should be intimidation.
See, that's rough because he already has great stats.
Oh, I know.
This is just to make it fun.
Which is for us, too.
Yeah.
Hey, guys, I can't break the game if I break the party first, okay?
I just thought it would be fun because, you know,
he's already getting you guys in this mission, Anakin.
Why don't I amplify it?
Yeah.
You didn't give me the ability to lie more just to convince you guys that I'm right.
Oh, yeah, sure.
You have to be, like, being honest and work out all your thought patterns.
Frankie loves to be honest.
I'm still excited to do it.
Hey, I knew he was gonna lie to you.
That was good. That was good.
Honesty is his favorite way to deceive.
Yes.
Not telling the whole truth?
You got most of it.
The best is edging with conversation.
He's just edging with conversation.
Right.
Exactly, exactly, exactly.
I live by those words.
All right.
He's edging right now.
What?
Who remembers what happened?
Who wants to recap for us?
I can give it.
I would love the...
I mean, I already have inspiration, actually.
I just got it.
Oh, inspiration expires after...
What?
You can have it until we start.
My old DM used to do that.
Inspiration only lasted for that session.
I'm like, well, what if you guys don't do anything that requires you to use it?
I'll take a crack at it.
Yeah, I've done that all the time.
Yes, Mark wants to.
I think you got another session.
Yeah, if you guys are all rocking inspiration, so I can't do with it.
So last time, we...
Let's see.
We took off from the Halfling and Camp Myth, the Gar Fields.
The Fields of Gar.
To find, you know, track down the rival tribe.
I did forget the rival tribe's name.
Warsalves.
Warsalves, that's right.
Because they had taken the older twin Gar brother.
Gargar?
I believe so.
Yes.
Gargar.
Largar is who we're looking for.
Oh, excuse me, yeah.
Gargar is his idiot brother.
Yes, yes.
Gargar is the idiot and Gargar is the dad.
Is the dad.
Largar is the one that's kidnapped.
So we're here to rescue Largar.
We're making our way downtown when walking fast.
And...
And I'm homebound.
Sorry.
When we got kind of ambushed, I think, after...
We spotted some smoke, we like, I know I remember flying real high.
The traps, that's what it was.
That's what it was.
Yeah, some of you guys set off traps.
Yes.
And we moved, we're moving in closer, we set off those traps.
We got ambushed briefly by some no-name punks who got squashed, like the bugs they were.
And although one did hit that...
They set the horn.
They hit that pipe hard and everybody started streaming out of the cave here, or from that
area, at least.
They lined up and Gonzo's sure he can kill us and I dare him to try.
Alright, yeah, you get the inspiration.
So, we had an initiative written from last time, you guys want to change that?
We can roll with it.
Alright.
Yeah, it'll be fine, let's keep an initiative.
Alright.
And you guys just saw them kind of like, popping out and they're kind of just...
Remember, you all just saw the Goliath because he came out and said something and then Frankie
was like, fuck you.
Who goes there?
It doesn't matter, you're not going to be alive fast enough anyways.
Forward!
That's called persuasion.
You're going to die.
I feel like that's intimidation.
I was about to say, yeah.
I'm persuading them to be intimidated.
He's that persuasive.
Wow.
Like, why are my pants off?
Yeah, shit yourself.
I've been deceived.
Alright, so...
Everyone just wants to yell, I'll try to keep one of you alive.
Okay, so you wanted to rage again.
Yes, but I'm going to get closer because now that I spoke about something, I was telling
them I tested the gods, so...
Okay, how much?
Do you want to get up to them?
Can I see that 30 cube real quick?
Yeah.
Alright, gang.
Dude, I love these things.
Yeah, pull them out.
Put them next to the Doritos.
Yeah, I'll pull out right now.
Yeah, this Doritos, you guys want some.
Not sponsored.
Here, man.
It's my man's favorite.
30 foot cube?
Yep.
It's this one right here.
Yes.
All my barbarian stuff is going to be that thing.
We keep reading it.
You know, real shit, I've never seen this for D&D.
I've only ever seen it for Wargaming.
Because he said that these guys are behind a cover because they're halflings and short.
But I don't know what you're doing.
He's going to jump in the middle of the hall and then go, oh!
Yeah, basically.
Not that far because I don't have that much movement speed.
What if you ranged?
He's going to shit.
You got 40 feet of movement, isn't it?
Try to aim.
Okay.
Oh, really?
Yeah.
Okay.
Now I'm going to range.
All right.
Oh, seven.
Damn, I thought that was a one.
I was like, fuck, I hit.
You hit the one that you were talking about.
He can't.
Were you staying on him?
Because you were on top of him.
Frankie is on him, yeah.
Well, you got lucky, Frankie, that I did not roll a one though.
Seven's a great one though.
Yep.
So, I'm going to go with seven.
Now 15 feet around me in a full radius is difficult terrain.
15 feet around you, okay.
Stays there.
Yeah, it follows him around.
Stays on him.
But we are not affected by difficult terrain due to Y'all Horus.
Yes, because this is my favorite terrain and that is granted to the party as well.
You're right.
Aren't you glad your ranger's awake?
These halflings with their 25 foot movement speed have just been patted.
Oh no.
Oh, sweet baby boys.
So, if I move 25.
Yeah, you got 15 more as a giant ape and then whatever your range gives you.
Can someone move me?
Oh, can someone move me?
So, you said you got difficult terrain, 15 feet around you.
15.
Okay, cool.
Yeah, can I get over that wall, whatever they have?
So, it's not really walls, I can't just do it like an indicate.
They're hiding behind rocks, stones, different things.
Oh yeah, I'm getting dead ass in the middle of this shit.
Like improvise.
Like that?
Yeah, so this is just like, this is just like, you know, in the woods.
I like it, I like it.
I would just like to say I'm out of reach because I'm not at his feet.
I'm on top of him.
Yeah, yeah, no, I'm just like looking down.
You're on top of him, so.
He's alive!
God, I hope so.
Alright, um.
Let's not do your job.
Okay.
I'm gonna try.
Then to the very front guy, and like the very first guy on my right.
Actually in front of me, because I'm gonna cling back to that guy.
This guy?
Yeah.
Okay.
I'm gonna punch him.
Oh, this guy's also actually a little bit there.
You're gonna punch him now.
Alright, roll to hit.
Plus how much?
Got that picture?
No.
Plus my hit.
Oh yeah, because I don't use my 7, plus my hit.
Okay.
17.
17 hits.
Cool.
And then that does, what does it say?
3d turn plus 2, plus 8, because of my plus 2.
Yeah.
So 3d turn.
Sheesh.
Yeah.
3d 10.
Plus.
He gets two of those.
Plus 8.
20?
20 plus.
20 damage for the first hit.
First attack.
Yeah.
This guy is barely clinging to life.
You have coordinated him.
Your hand just came down and went for it.
You just racked him and he's just like, oh, I'm gonna do this.
You just like, he's on the floor, come on.
He's like.
Frankie knew this form was good against halflings.
Yeah, I'm sitting on top there going, get that one.
It's like a kaiju battle, like fighting.
Then I am going to the other guy next to him.
And I'm gonna do the same thing.
17 plus 9.
Oh, I hit, yeah.
The guy next to him, so the guy you hit the first time is barely alive.
Yeah, I want him to see what's gonna happen next to him.
Oh my god.
18 plus.
23 plus 8.
Plus 8, yeah, 23 plus 8.
31.
31 to the next hit.
Yeah, that guy's dead.
Just fucking pancaked.
This is straight out of anime.
He waddled in there, accordion one, and like slapped his hand and he just saw one go, ahhh.
And then I'm going to bang my chest like an 8x8 at that point.
And then look at the Goliath and point.
It's my turn.
Harun, you're next.
Oh shit.
Incredible.
Yeah.
See?
Gonza just added some HP to the...
He's like, oh, I'm sure.
He's like, I'm gonna add a zero to that.
Zero to that number right there.
Did I say 15?
150?
The pen is wider than the sword.
That's what the halflings will die saying.
The pen is wider than the sword.
That wasn't a one, that was a seven.
Okay, this first guy I'm gonna swing at with my sword.
Roll to swing.
Oh, no, actually my dagger.
My dagger.
15.
15 hits?
Oh, thank God.
I rolled a five, but I have plus 10.
Okay.
Oh, cool, I just had it right here too.
That's 11 damage.
Alright.
And I'm gonna hit him again with the dagger.
That is 19.
Alright.
That is 15.
So you did 19 for the first damage?
Or just 19 to hit?
19 to hit.
Okay, so 15 damage on it, okay.
Yeah, because I did do damage earlier, but then the second damage was 15.
What was the first damage?
11.
Okay, yeah, he's still alive.
Okay.
Then I'm going to see what I got from you.
I think I'm just gonna mark and strike.
Alright.
Go ahead and roll to hit.
And it's gonna be a regular strike.
26.
26 hits.
For eight damage.
Okay, you're dead.
Okay.
Hell yeah.
How do you kill him?
Well, I assumed I swiped him with my dagger twice, and he's like a bleed now, and then I just nose punch him.
And that's the rest.
And I'm gonna use my last five to scoot this way a little bit.
And I'm gonna hit him with my last arm strike.
That one is 14.
14 hit?
14 hits.
What?
You guys are not...
That's eight damage to this guy, particularly.
Don't worry about that.
And then yeah, I'm done.
Who's worried about him?
How much damage is he?
That was eight damage.
Frank is your turn.
Yay!
Yay, Frankie!
So there's one super injured down at...
Yeah, that guy.
I'm gonna whisper to him.
Fantastic. Could you make me a wisdom saving throw?
Make fun of him!
A vicious mockery?
Yes, please.
It smelled like bitch in here.
17.
17? He succeeded.
Well, that doesn't work then.
I thought you were gonna silver your barbs.
I guess I could. Nah, I'm not gonna waste the silver barbs on this.
Do I have another bonus action to use besides bardic inspiration?
Super deen right now.
Let's see.
Everybody's got full hit points? Anybody need random health?
No.
I mean, I'm like...
I took some damage from the last fight, but that was it.
I told the other guys this.
Oh yes, I did forget to ask.
I forgot to mention this.
So for...
Def saves, I'm gonna be making them for everyone.
There's no meta-gaming, so that way...
I'm stealing some from Ben, because Ben does this, and I think it's fun.
Adds to the thrill of it.
I'm gonna just roll here, and then I'll track it.
That way we aren't like, oh shit, Ryan has two left.
So you won't know how many saves you have or how quickly someone died.
Somebody could get a one, and then they're already down two saves.
Or I could get a twenty, and then you're like, hey, you're actually back to life.
But, that way just kind of adds to the chaos of it.
Less meta-gaming.
Yeah, more motivated to save somebody instead of being like, you're good.
I think I'm good then. I'll just chill out there.
Alright, your holler is your turn.
Remember, you still have your effect, you haven't used it yet.
Correct. I've been holding on to it, man.
For... especially the boost.
It is a minute, so it'll be ten rounds of combat.
Oh, holy moly.
I mean, that'd probably be good for this one.
Yeah, I was about to say, we're gonna be doing at least ten here.
That'd be worth it. When else are you gonna get the full...
Your full rock-hard minute?
We love rocks.
So I'm gonna go ahead and activate my ability on toothpick.
And I am going to fire my bow at this guy right here.
I think, yeah, you have range for sure.
I have a range of 150, like, here at minimum, and then outside of that, 600.
Oh yeah, okay.
You do not need to move.
You were made for this.
There is no way to be careful.
Alright, so that is a 13 with advantage.
That is 15 plus seven, that definitely is.
Yeah, that's gonna hit.
That is a D12 for toothpick.
That's a nine in total.
Plus your...
No, I added it. So I got seven, but then...
Oh, okay, cool, cool.
Yeah, so nine damage for that guy.
And then, horde breaker.
I'm gonna fire at his buddy next to him.
Alright.
That's 19 plus seven.
And yeah, we're just gonna take that.
So whatever...
Oh yeah, it hits.
That's four plus two, that's six damage on that guy.
And...
Your second attack?
Yeah, I'm gonna do my second attack now.
And I'm going to hit this guy all the way over here on the right.
Just get in the mall.
Yeah, I mean, make him fucking hurt, you know?
Actually, I coded the tips of some of my arrows in Necrotic.
Oh, you did, yeah.
Go ahead and...
I think it was 1d6, right?
Go ahead and roll for that for the two of them.
So go ahead.
Four for the first guy, right?
Yeah, four for the first guy and two for the second guy.
Sweet, sweet.
Alright, let's see.
And then that is a nine plus seven, which is 16.
Four... alright, cool.
So that's a great deal.
16?
Yeah, 16.
16 does not hit, and you kind of go to hit and it kind of bounces off.
He manages to kind of duck and hits the rock.
Okay.
Yeah, I'm pretty sure that's all I can do currently.
All that I wanted to do anyway.
Yeah, that's my turn.
Alright.
It is now their turn.
I want to make it clear the whole time this is their turn, I'm not breaking our eye contact with the Goliath.
Good, good.
He sees that.
He's like getting stabbed in the leg and toes and stuff like that.
Yeah, stabbing my legs, I'm just going to...
...
I'm going to start walking on my hands.
Yeah.
What language is this?
Infernal.
Right?
Infernal.
Let me check.
The Great Seeker's Game.
Yeah, Frisky's...
...
He's like, brrrooom, and we're all just hearing the words.
Oh no, it's not Infernal, it's Abyssal.
Abyssal and Common.
Oh perfect, okay.
Then you understand what's happening.
You hear some words coming out of the cave.
In Abyssal.
What do they say?
It sounds like a spell.
Wow, fine clan.
As you see the...
...the Goliaths are glowing with an unnatural energy.
Okay, unrelated, I'd also want to just make sure to remind you that the leader of the clan also has the other stone, and he was told if anything happens, we're away.
So if anybody attacks while we're away, he was gonna let me know.
I just want to remind you.
But that scares me real bad.
We'll see what I do in my turn.
Can we see the person casting the spell or no?
Can I see actually from my little perch or no?
No, you didn't see it.
We see the glowing off of the Goliaths, right?
You see the Goliath, but he's not the one casting the spell.
Didn't you say the Goliath was glowing?
Yeah, you saw he has this unnatural glow to him now.
He heard a spell cast, some sort of spell, the Goliath glowed, but we couldn't see the person casting it.
Yes, yes.
I'm so ashamed.
I'd love to be a young looker.
Can we cast Silvery Barbs on that guy?
That's so scary!
Silvery Barbs, he eats shit.
What else are these bad guys gonna do, Gonzo?
They're gonna swarm, but...
That's so scary.
They're gonna swarm...
Do you want me to help?
Yes.
They're gonna go ahead and all just...
Getting this close to him or to him and me?
To him and you. They're all gonna just...
Probably get him right there.
And then a few of these guys are gonna get over here to start shooting.
Just keep in mind that it is difficult terrain for 15 feet around, centered on...
Center on him, right? Okay, cool.
Okay, so they're gonna be here.
Actually...
For some of them, they might hit him so that they can't quite make it all the way into the range.
This guy was gonna go here.
Arranging them for maximum fuckage.
Alright.
Perfect, alright.
Here's the fun part.
For the audience at home, there's a lot going on.
There's a lot of people crowding around the gorilla.
Okay.
It's regular rolls.
Regular straight rolls.
Does a 13 hit?
No.
17.
No.
12 doesn't hit.
22.
Yes.
Alright.
So you take four damages, one of them stabs you.
Huh?
Yeah, I have that too.
Can I give that one a thumbs up because he got me?
As he goes to hit, I yell, you suck!
And cutting words.
Subtract five from that roll, so that's a 17, I think.
22 to hit.
Yeah.
He says what to hit?
17 instead.
So he bricks as I yell, you suck!
Hey!
Then I don't give him a thumbs up.
Yeah, give him the thumbs up anyway.
Let's see.
Who's the closer one right there?
This one? Yeah, that's me.
Cool. Alright, they're gonna fire.
I'd love to see them try.
14?
21.
Yeah.
Which one shot that?
So there's five right there, those five on the left are shooting at him.
Yeah.
It's gonna be five damage.
Okay.
Does 16 hit?
Yes.
That's gonna be eight damage.
So five and eight?
Yep. 17 to hit.
Yes.
That's gonna be six more damage.
And then the last one, that is gonna be a 13, I'm assuming it doesn't hit.
Nope.
Alright, now for these guys.
So they're gonna go ahead and just, let's see, how many guys are around here.
Seven.
Around Jim? Yep.
His AC is a 16 right now.
All things together.
Well, 18 hits. First guy hits you. That's gonna be seven damage.
Everything is halved.
I am a barbarian raging.
Alright, so that is three.
Let's see.
Second one misses, cause I'm assuming a nine doesn't hit.
Let's see.
Yep.
It's gonna be 18 to hit.
It's gonna be four damage.
So that's half that, so it'll be two damage.
I'll just give you the full and then you can just half it.
You're keeping track of him, right? Yeah.
Okay, cool.
Third attack.
Nope.
Misses.
Alright, 21 hits.
That's gonna be five damage.
That one misses.
That one also misses.
You having fun over there, Gonzo?
Just rolling away, bud?
Does anyone try to hit Frank?
They're all just going for you right now.
I feel like the only person...
If someone hits Frank, can I get him for your counter?
I feel like the only person I can hit him is the Goliath.
Hey, Dangle, I'm in front of you.
Someone swing, someone swing.
Oh, shit sucker.
The Goliath is going to rage.
Ah, fuck.
You're one of me?
Yeah, they are.
And he's a Goliath.
You ain't Goliath.
All those guys working together,
just got you down about 10 points.
You got fucking 10 taken away?
What kind of sh...
Man, I had almost half my health bar taken away.
What the fuck?
I think the damage is gonna be like,
I think the technical term is get good.
Or be transformed into a giant ape and have a ton of hit points that you have.
I can see Nick getting addicted just to you changing it.
Come on, man, just one time.
Give me a...
Nobody's gonna be able to fight.
Give me a hit.
You're gonna recover tomorrow morning.
You didn't even use it.
Be selfish, just do it.
So he's gonna hit you.
Oof.
Alright, that one's a natural 20.
Oof.
I already used it.
So that's gonna be, oh, luckily he didn't pull too high.
There's so many hit points here.
I'm not tripping, yeah.
I still have my own hit points.
10 damage for that one.
He's gonna hit you again.
Advantage on that hit.
22 to hit.
And that's gonna be an additional 10 damage.
25 to hit.
That's gonna be 8 damage.
Oh, my bad, sorry, he's raging.
That's gonna be an additional 16 damage.
Forgot to add his bonus.
16 across the 3?
No, 60 for the last one.
I forgot to add the plus 8 to the attack for the each one.
Oh, okay, gotcha.
So that was...
So that means it's a plus 4?
16 instead of 8?
Yeah, and that's gonna be a plus 4.
So that's gonna be a plus 4.
16 instead of 8?
Yeah, and then add another 16 for the other 2 hits.
Gotcha.
Sorry, forgot that was bonus to it.
That one's gonna be 24 to hit.
So that's gonna be 21 points of damage.
That is his third hit?
Fourth hit, that's fourth hit, right?
That's his fourth hit.
Perfect. Since he is in haste mode right now, he gets an additional action to attack 2 more times.
That's what I thought.
I was even more scared to see this dude's glowing.
He heard the chanting.
A hasted attack is a sever thing.
It's not an attack action.
If that's what he's doing.
Yeah, he's hasted.
It said he gains additional action on each of its turns.
Yeah.
I think that's some subtext underneath.
The haste spell specifically has...
You can make one extra attack as part of your hasted action.
It's not like a full action.
I see what you're saying.
So it's gonna be 28 to hit, so it's gonna be an additional 16 damage.
Oh no.
Nyx has fallen below 100.
He now has 98.
Alright, so...
I'm gonna need to re-up you.
I'm not worried about it.
That is their turn?
You are a battery pack.
Finally going last.
Lasagna, it's your turn.
Lasagna coming in last.
As I've been over here strategically with the new little things.
I'm coming first.
Notating question.
What's the weather like, Gonzo, here right now?
It's a sunny day.
Well, you said it was evening, actually, last session.
It's evening.
He said we shouldn't go in the evening because he said that they had...
We rushed the game to get here.
But there's no clouds or anything like that above.
Nothing, no rain.
Alright, just curious.
I'm going to cast Call Lightning at the fourth level.
Perfect. I'm gonna go ahead and counterspell that.
I'm gonna counterspell that.
You can't react, you used your reaction already.
Ah, yeah, they did.
You're gonna counterspell it?
Yep. So yeah, that Call Lightning didn't go through.
You already used your reactions first.
I did.
Harun?
I'm sorry.
It was four points.
I actually would have used it already because as soon as I heard crit, I would have used my reaction on that.
That's fine.
It's not like I was trying to fucking do something.
I'm going to cast Healing Word.
Is it Eliath, the counterspell?
Nope.
No, it was the person behind the counter.
How far can you counterspell?
Did they even have a visual? I'm far away.
Did they even have visual inside the cave?
I don't know about that.
Can I see him?
Can I roll a perception check?
That would be your action because you're actually perceiving something.
What's your passive?
Well, it's 18, but like...
Yeah.
So you see near the cave,
as you kind of heard near the cave, there's a floating eye.
A floating eye?
Yes.
You kind of didn't notice it, but you're like, is that a fucking eye?
Uh...
Well, great.
There was a bonus action following up with that.
Healing Word on myself, first level.
Perfect.
That's my turn.
I'm going to move away.
1, 2, 3, 4, 5.
5 plus 7.
Thank you.
Myself.
I wasn't going to heal you, but...
I'm not really sure about it.
I'm dead chilling.
I was also untouched in our previous fight,
so I'm really dead chilling.
Was I the only one that took damage last fight?
Yeah.
What the fuck?
Why, I realized I still had my shield on,
which I can't have my shield on
because I have my staff and my sickle,
so I had to take that off.
Alright.
Lazardna, you'd use your bonus.
Are you moving?
I move this way, hopefully, to try to stay away from those guys.
Nick, it's your turn.
Would I have heard that spell being cast?
Yeah, you heard it. You don't know what language it was.
Okay.
I'm going to run straight past them.
Right past the Goliath.
So you're going to get...
That's a lot of damage.
You shouldn't do that. Don't worry about it.
I was like, you're going to get...
That's going to be...
8 opportunity attacks.
I think focus on the Goliath.
What you would be getting is fucked.
Alright, I'm going to turn to the Goliath,
and I'm going to hit him.
He's at plus 9?
Yeah.
That's 26.
26 hits.
Oh, that's a 7 out of 1.
That's 9, 17, plus 8.
25.
Perfect, he takes half.
11.
11 to hit?
Yeah.
Yeah, that's it.
Start shitting on him, dog.
Yeah.
Start shitting shit on him.
What are you going to do?
Nah, I was going to...
Nah.
Save it.
I'm going to save it.
Alright, it is now...
Let's see, Frankie's turn.
Am I allowed to save that information at any time,
or do I have to wait until my turn?
To your turn.
Oh, Harun, yep, sorry.
Yep, Harun's next.
I would scroll all the way down, yep.
I would announce...
I'd look very quickly,
and I'd see that I think Frankie's
the closest one to me,
and I'm going to be like...
Frankie, they're casting a spell in there,
and they're doing it in a disil.
And then...
I think I got to go through and handle that.
I'm going to try to run that way,
and I'm going to...
I'm going to...
I'm going to say bonus action disengage.
Alright.
And use a ki point.
And I'm going to... I don't know where it is on this.
We'll just say you're going far...
Because I got 50 feet.
Yeah, you can get there with the cave.
Okay, we'll just say I'm there.
Perfect, yeah. So you see, like, in the cave,
what's your...
Go ahead and put that, like, back here.
What's your...
You want me to roll Perception?
Yeah, well, I mean, it's a little dark in here.
You got night vision, right?
You got dark vision?
I believe he said, yeah, for 30...
For 30 feet, I think.
So you kind of see, there's like a robed figure floating in the cave.
You got my glasses on, right?
My fantasy night vision goggles.
So this is like...
How many feet would that... Can I get up to him at the 50?
Because he's a little far away, like too far in.
So you can get to him, but then he's also floating 30 feet in the air.
Oh, he's floating 30 feet in the air.
Sounds like a joke.
For a second, I thought that...
You know, these floating bastards.
I thought that was Palpatine.
It does look like him.
Don't worry, he's going to come back in three movies and it'll totally make sense.
For some reason, he's alive.
But what was the reason?
The reason was actually unveiled.
This is not even remotely close to a joke.
During a Fortnite event.
Are you fucking serious?
I wish I was kidding.
I really genuinely wish I was kidding.
Yeah, and I didn't say that for some reason.
Like, out of nowhere.
And the first text of that last movie literally says,
For some reason, Palpatine lived.
It's a genuine explanation in the movie.
That's true.
That's right.
Sounds like terrible writing.
The first thing that Poe Dameron says to open it up, as well as,
Well, I guess Palpatine's back.
I'm going to figure out this shit somehow.
It's a roaring of ideas, guys.
So, if I see him floating there...
Fucking catman spell.
Uhhhh...
I'm going to say in a abyssal,
What are you doing?
And then, Harun's going to panic and he's just going to throw one of his darts.
Because he doesn't think he has enough movement to get up there.
So he's just going to throw one of his...
Make us concentration.
Gobble these what?
That one is...
Nine.
Nine does not hit.
Okay, I have two attacks.
Okay, that one is...
23.
23 hits.
Okay...
That's five damage.
Alright, let's see...
And he...
Yeah, he loses the concentration.
Woo!
So the eye outside...
Sorry, go ahead.
So he's no longer hasted.
So that means Mr. Goliath...
Does that mean he's slowed now because this haste spell has ended?
Isn't there like a lethargic?
Yeah, I was thinking the Goliath loses his action or something, doesn't he?
Yeah, when the spell ends, he's lethargic, right?
He's lethargic, right?
That's medicating, guys.
Yep.
That's me, I'm making it clear.
When it was his turn, he andrewshed.
So his turn, he won't be able to do anything, but the next turn he will.
He just went...
He stopped, it's like...
That's it, that's me.
Alright, that's going to be...
Frankie, you are next.
Frankie!
I did something.
It's my own.
I'm going to...
Bonus action...
Healing Word the Giant Ape.
For 7 hit points.
Which will put you back at 105.
And I'll say, you got this.
And I'll just kind of sail my way...
From the top rope...
I wonder where Harun's at.
Just in case, you know.
Can I see the guy in there?
Yep.
Cool.
We're going to see if we can't...
I hit him, Frankie.
I'm on patch 1.
It would be like, good job, Harun.
Good job.
Let me try to see what I can do, okay?
Yeah, he just wants him on the ground.
He's 30 feet in the air right now.
I'm like, let me hit you, bro.
I swear to God, you're not ready.
His fists are fucking ready, man.
He's just like a Jiu Jitsu guy. Come down here and fight me.
Yeah, I'm butt-scooching after him.
Yo.
Okay.
I would like...
For him to...
Yes.
Yeah.
I'm contemplating just shaking him a lot.
Shaking wizards in a journal.
Yeah, shaking him.
Yeah, that's also...
That's on the table, baby.
That's a baby on the table.
Yeah. Don't worry about it.
He's shook.
I would like to...
Dissonant Whispers him.
We'll throw a third level little Dissonant Whispers in his ear.
So that's a wisdom saving throw, please.
All right. Wisdom save.
Wisdom save, DC 16.
All right.
It's gonna be 25.
Can I...
Silvery Barbs, see if I can't get that first result.
The first result was gonna be 14.
So that's three for that.
And then that third level, it's gonna be six.
That's gonna be 16 psychic damage.
And he's gotta use his reaction if available to move as far as its speed allows away from me.
Which I'm hoping is just way down that fucking cave.
Leave.
Can you be flying slightly higher than him so he also goes down?
I mean, I definitely came in at flying.
I don't know in relation to where I'm at. I don't think I would have tried necessarily to gain height on him.
Right.
But yes.
All right. Is it your turn, Frankie?
Um...
I also yell...I don't know.
I don't yell anything.
It's like everyone is looking at me and he's running like a little bitch.
Good job, Frankie!
All right. Let's see if now it is going to be...
Y'all harvest his turn.
Fuck yeah, baby!
All right. Um...
Did it call lightning on yourself?
No, I was just...I was honestly seeing if the radius thing one is correct too.
I hope so.
Yeah, wow.
But actually, what I am going to do...
Let me double check this actually because I think it only applies for myself.
It's also a section 2.
Oh yeah, it's only for me.
All right. I'm going to hold on to that then for a little while.
Well, this next verse is the same as the first.
I'm going to do a little bit of the shoestick.
I'm going to be shooting at these guys right behind Nyx.
Mr. Ape Escape himself.
I start off with this guy.
Go ahead and roll to Undebaga.
That is...thank goodness I have advantage.
19?
19 hits.
And then...that is...
That's 7 plus an additional 2. That's 9 damage to that guy.
You cast 9.
I cast 9.
You can use Ho Breaker.
9!
Hoard Breaker?
Yeah.
So it's funny because I wrote a joke earlier today that involves the word Ho.
So I'm like, I didn't tell that to you yet.
In your mind you did.
How'd you get in my head?
Yeah, exactly. I mean, some people get that psychic connection, baby.
The guy next to him is a natural fucking 20, actually.
I saw that land.
So that is going to be...
So 4 double damage on that.
Yeah, that would be doubled right there.
So 8 plus 2 is 10 plus an additional D6 because Necrotic.
So 13.
Did you roll the Necrotic for the other guy?
Yes.
And then my second attack will be this guy all the way over here.
Perfect. Roll the hit.
Alright, that's a 4.
That's a natural fucking...
Fuck yes!
Roll the fucking mouth, baby!
When you know, you know.
That's toothpick's energy right there.
That's an 11.
So 22 plus an additional 1.
So 23.
Yeah, this guy is alive, but he looks fucked up real bad.
God damn.
Alright, yeah, that's my turn.
I'm not even using my magical arrows yet, by the way.
Yeah, this guy is looking rough.
It is now...let's see...
I totally forgot about my reaction.
Fuck.
If you have an attack on his turn, you can run through his rage.
Oh, bitch!
Or if he doesn't take damage.
Well, yeah, none of us are hitting him.
I mean, unless you're...
I mean, you can't just say it.
I haven't had my turn since he lost it.
I'm just saying, if he takes damage, he can.
At the end of his turn, if nothing happens.
Let's see, alright.
I feel like Frankie would be like, oh, don't hit him this time.
So it is their turn.
We're all barbarians.
I am a barbarian. I should know how to work this.
So those four, they were going to go ahead and follow you guys to the cave?
Wait, wait, wait.
There's a difficult terrain up to a certain amount to him.
Let's individually do this.
Wasn't it a cube?
It's 15 foot radius centered on himself.
Centered on me.
Yes.
So if they walk through it, it takes double movement.
This guy will probably get hit.
He's going to go on the right.
If they reach his 10 feet, if they exit his 10 foot range, that's an opportunity.
Well, this is a 15 foot radius.
Also, I moved my full 50.
Do they have at least 50?
That's a 15 foot radius, but the idea being that it's off of one square.
They don't, but they're going to dash to get to you.
Oh, that makes sense.
It's not counting for the larger size.
Okay, so they're not going to do anything.
They're going to dash to get over there.
All four of those guys are going to come and surround you.
Okay, I get you.
Using their whole dash.
So what, like this?
Frankie's also flying.
I'm not sure how high he's flying.
I'm as high as the cable miles.
Alright, so yeah, those guys are going to attack you.
Same thing.
Let's see.
So those guys that we're shooting at, what's the odds they're going to keep shooting at you?
Okay.
Those five are back here.
Five, two, three.
Well, this one's within ten feet.
That guy?
Yeah.
Okay, when he shoots, I want to.
Alright.
Let's see.
Was on, did this E19 hit you?
Yes.
Oops.
Oh, you can hit within ten feet?
Five dash.
Before that, can that one make a dexterity saving throw?
That's right.
That's why the dragon was on top, because this is actually a size smaller.
Twenty not natural.
Okay, he's going to take half of, half lightning damage.
Wait, he's more dragon size?
Four, well it's eight, so four, he's going to take four damage.
Was that your reaction?
That's my reaction, yes.
Fifteen.
The second one misses, because I'm assuming the ten doesn't hit you.
Nope.
Third one, Jaylen, the one that is ten feet from you is going to go ahead and try to shoot Will.
He gets hit with a 25 to hit.
Knock his block off.
Ten, twenty, twenty-seven plus eight, thirty-five damage.
Yeah, this guy's dead.
He still gets his shot off though.
He gets his shot off, but he dies for it.
Well, he gets a seven, he doesn't hit.
He raises his bow, he like.
He sees the hammer about to come down on him and it's shaking.
He's like, sort of a little bit off to the side and behind, so I feel like an ape-sized hand just like.
Waa!
He turns around back and knocks his block off and he's just like.
Jesus Christ.
So that guy's dead.
Be gone.
Alright, let's see.
That guy has three and then one more.
Another seven doesn't hit.
They're going to go ahead and all attack you, except obviously the guy.
Just curious, did that eye disappear when the concentration was disrupted?
Yeah, so it broke you.
You actually had an eye on that too, so you didn't know when the eye was gone.
Yeah, you hit him again and then also.
You would see that the eye.
Yeah, when I hit him with the.
Well, you guys are in a cave with him.
Yeah, but his perception was good enough that he was just seeing the eye and then it's like.
Let's see.
Eighteen's going to go ahead and hit you, so that's going to be seven damage.
Yep.
Seven damage.
You already keep checking that point.
Seven.
Twenty, not natural.
It's going to be another six damage.
That's going to be eighteen to hit.
So that's three of them.
Another seven damage.
Nope, ten misses.
That's going to be seventeen to hit.
Eight more damage.
That's going to be sixteen to hit.
That's your AC, right?
Yep.
That's going to be four more damage.
And then a natural twenty.
Oh, shit.
All right.
That's going to be eight more damage.
Didn't roll too high.
But eight more damage.
Nineteen.
Eight really has been the number.
I know, I was like, whoa, I rolled a little low.
And then, you two boys, go ahead and a sphere of black energy kind of just ripples around all of you.
You and Harun and including the people that are with him.
The two of us?
Sorry.
Yeah, two of you and then same thing.
As you see the guys there, went in there just like, huh, huh, as they're kind of freaking out.
Go ahead and roll me.
He used his reaction, but that's all he had to do.
Yeah.
Like he wasn't feared.
He just on that attack, he had to take off.
Wasn't like a turn to hit.
OK.
Sorry.
What was that roll?
It's going to be a con save.
I believe you too as well.
It's going to be eighteen to save.
Come on, Harun.
I got a seventeen.
You got a twenty.
Sulfury Barbs.
Natural twenty.
All right.
So you take half damage.
He takes no damage.
That's how good it was.
I got a little fear.
I should take no damage.
So how much damage?
All right.
It's going to be.
Let me get these d6 out real quick.
How do we roll for concentration again?
Is it based on damage?
Half damage or ten, whichever is higher.
OK.
That's the con save I got to make.
I'm taking full damage on these things.
Yep.
Good push.
Oh shit.
Oh, actually, um...
I think I'd like to use my inspiration
on that to see if I can't get a roll higher.
That's good.
And I actually get 18 with that.
Nice. I rolled one higher.
Still half damage, but that's still better
than full damage.
For the concentration and for just health in general.
I could inspiration the
concentration to keep the
concentration, but
this makes it a lot easier.
That's gonna be 43 points in the chronic
damage. Is that already
the half? No, that's full. That's the full.
Okay. So since we both saved 43
half. Yep.
22. That's still
like a lot of my health.
I'm glad 43 would have been
three points off my max.
Good inspiration.
Tank.
You also see the guys
around you, they just turn to dust.
Oh, I'm gonna make that
check for...
How long do you think it's 11?
Because it was 22 half.
11?
It was
43, so...
Yeah.
I rolled a 21 total.
There you go. Perfect.
Cool. I was in
the middle of the thing about all our bearing moves.
Eight, eight, eight, eight.
All right. Frankie,
so you see him and then he's gone.
I knew that was about
to happen. Like he teleported?
Yep.
Did they at least get eyes on the guy?
They saw just a cloaked figure.
Okay. Okay.
So he's gone, gone?
Um...
What was your present...
18.
Yeah, you see this as
you see this figure kind of just floating above the cave now.
So the cave's here,
so he's about like 50 feet above.
Do I see that? Yeah, you're a giant ape.
You see the giant floating figure about...
Cool. Does he look like...
Does he look like a...
Halfling missile?
Does he look like the guy we saw in the forest?
I like that idea more.
Go ahead and roll me a history check real quick.
What are you reading?
Is he floating above the cave or is he on the top?
He's floating above the cave. It's a natural 15.
50 feet above. Yeah.
Oh, shit. Yeah, so he's like high up in the...
17? 17, yeah. So you're just like, fuck,
this might be the guy. It's hard to see because
it's literally just like a shadow of darkness in the...
But you think it might be the guy because you're like, how much damage does he have?
Okay. Cool, cool, cool, cool.
I clocked that. Okay.
It is your turn though, Lizogno, so you did see this all happen.
So you say he's about 50 feet above the cave?
Yes.
Now, is he...
This is just...
This is more of a...
I need to know exactly, like, if he was above this battlefield, where would he be?
Like 80 feet in here.
Like where, though? Above them?
So like, kind of close to like...
Yeah, like right there, yeah. Okay.
So like further, way further back.
I'm gonna try to...
Try this once again.
I'm gonna do this once again and try to cast Call Lightning.
Perfect, he's on a metal can.
What was that?
I'm gonna cast Call Lightning.
Does he look like he's just running away?
You don't know, he's just floating in the air.
He's not for long, fry his ass.
Okay, so about...
I think it's roughly 60 feet above all of us, which I think would envelop everything, right, that we have going on here.
120 feet above in the air.
Shit, let me just make sure.
Oh, that is 10 foot.
That's what they call my little guts.
Yeah, but how high can I set it up? That's what I'm asking.
Your range is 120 feet.
So you can cast out Stormcloud anywhere at 120 feet and then from there you can...
So if I were to cast it, it would have to be 10 feet where I would want to attack it?
Yeah, basically you can hit it goes 10 feet tall and it's a 60 foot radius cloud and you can hit anything underneath the cloud.
So basically you designate a spot to 120 feet away.
And then anything underneath it.
Yeah, and then the radius of that cloud is like 60, so that means 120 feet across.
Okay, well there's just a big ass fucking Stormcloud above us right now.
And I'm going to cast Call Lightning on the Urg, use my action to then get the motherfuckers that have been shooting at me.
They need to make a Dexterity saving throw.
The four guys over there?
The four guys that have been shooting at me.
Well, so the way that the storm is in the 60 foot, but the only people that I could cast it on is a five foot radius.
So it is literally those four over there that are going to make the Dexterity saving throw.
That's cool. I was willing to take a hit.
Yeah, the spell is to merely just make the cloud and then every turn after that as long as I'm concentrating.
It is 19.
Okay, they all failed.
They all failed?
Yep.
Alright, well when you see this happen, Lasagna's eyes are going to turn white and he's going to use his channel divinity and they're going to just take 30 damage right now.
Yeah, they're all dead.
They're all dead.
By the way, Will, where did you find these rulers because this is sick.
I think I was just looking for some D&D stuff and they just came across online and I think Amazon had them so I just bought them and they were pretty cheap.
There's a few different varieties.
You think it's a bonus?
I am going to cast Healing Word on myself one more time.
Jaylen, you're up next.
Sorry, I'm just, yeah we can take a little.
Just like a side note, you can also hold it kind of above and you get like a little range so you don't actually have to set it in there.
That is true.
There will be shine through.
I thought for sure you were about to fry the Emperor Palpatine guy.
I was thinking about it but I'm like if he's just running away that's a waste of an action.
If he stays there.
He's the head on shot.
Right, if he stays there next turn he's going to get hit by it.
I mean.
I think getting down the action economy is a big deal.
So real shit, now that he's outside of the cave I would be able to have eyes on him.
You do?
And I have some pretty good spells.
He's definitely within range and I have two attacks.
So I got a real good idea and I got some fucking magic arrows that are also coded in Necrotic.
This is Fireball by the way.
Let's see if he survives my turn.
Real shit.
I almost want to be like, Nix upies?
Somebody else is going upies.
Nix has a turn ready.
I wanted to use this but I'm like this is a lot.
This is Fireball.
I don't care how big the broom is.
I said I cast Fireball.
I was just saying.
Nick what are you doing?
I want to take one of these halflings and throw them at him.
Alright, so one of them is going to be see if you can grapple and pick him up.
He's going to oppose obviously so go ahead and roll an attack.
Is that his strength?
Yeah, it's going to be opposing strength.
You gotta be a 20.
Holy shit, inspiration.
I rolled real high, not natural 20.
Is it athletics?
Is it athletics for the grab or just pure strength?
Strength, this is just strength.
21.
I had to use inspiration for that.
Ape, escape.
My first roll was on 19th, that's why I felt so sad.
I rolled real high, I was like, okay you got him.
Okay, so I got the guy and I want to launch him at the...
Perfect, go ahead and roll to me a thrown weapon attack.
I have a throw attack built into me.
Oh you did perfect.
Does it just throw?
What's the range on it?
It is 50 short, 100 long.
What does that mean?
Within 50 feet it's a regular roll, within 100 feet it's a disadvantage roll.
I see what you're saying, okay.
So it's just a advantage.
I got the same roll twice.
19.
19 hits, yep.
Okay.
Boom.
Holy shit.
Six.
Come up there temporarily.
This isn't going to add to the range.
Okay.
Pretty sure, pretty sure range is just on the other one.
Yeah, range is just on the other one.
12 plus 7.
The ancient martial arts of beating a motherfucker with another motherfucker.
That hits.
26 plus 6.
32 damage.
Oh right, yeah.
He gets launched as a subsonic missile.
Let's see.
Do both of them take that damage?
Yeah, that guy falls and dies.
He also takes fall damage if he falls.
He hits and then you see it's flat.
The guy gets hit and then you see him kind of shake, but he stays composed.
Cool, after surge, I do it again.
Oh my god.
It's a backflip.
It's smiling like crazy.
That's a 16 hit.
Are you picking up another one?
No, I'm throwing a rock at him.
Throwing a rock?
Yeah.
16?
Yep.
Damn.
Whoa.
You rolled a...
Yeah, no, I'm sorry.
The range on the rocks is on the other one.
Yeah, no.
Well, I guess it's my turn.
Damn.
Perfect.
16 didn't hit his spellcaster.
I'm surprised.
He could have...
He could shield himself.
Yeah.
Or blur.
Yeah.
I made Jarver.
I made Jarver, yeah.
That's a lot of things.
Let's see.
Lost my turn.
Let's see.
Well, hold on.
Hold on, Gonzo.
Just to make this a little bit more interesting, I would like to use my inspiration for his
roll.
Okay.
Oh, no.
That was a one.
Damn it.
There goes your inspiration.
Damn it.
Sorry, no.
Should I use mine too?
Do it.
Yeah, use mine too.
He says he's using his two.
That does not hit either.
Do it.
I'm going to do it.
Yes.
It wasn't meant to be.
It was not meant to be.
This guy has really high AC.
Sorry, y'all.
Everyone, this is your turn.
That's all right.
This man's AC is nuts.
So there's nobody else in the cave now?
There's dust?
There was four people.
They turned to dust.
Okay.
Charge back up, whoop some ass.
He's going to say, Frankie, which one should I hit?
Leave.
Don't hit the...
Don't hit the okay anybody else I'm we're on this way then
Get over here
Did it oh, actually sorry, yeah, he's been got it. Well, we got a week till his next turn. No, no
Oh, oh, yeah, that's right. You're right. Yeah
I'll do that then. Oh, okay, so I can hit him. Yeah anybody's fair game what I get
Yeah
Hit him roll to hit
Show this fool. I think that's a con save
Use your action church that was a treat you're right. Yeah, this is a bonus action bonus action to secondly didn't heal myself
Okay, go ahead do that. You can just heal yourself turn continues. I go ahead sword you were hitting
Plus you're hitting the guy right? Yes. I'm gonna hit the Goliath. All right with
18 18 does not hit 18 does not hit. Okay, then I'm gonna go again
My extra tag
20 20 hits, okay
That's 10 damage
And since I hit I might use a flurry
Use flurry for an unarmed strike
Who that's not all right, I get one more after that first is he's gonna use his reaction
he's gonna use retaliation to
Make an attack
Okay, what's my plus nine yeah 27
He gets his head off first, yeah, you take 16 damage
Oh, no, let's see does 17 it no
No, wait, no, no, he doesn't hit me. It doesn't matter. He's still swung on you. Yeah
Is it on a hit or is it on attack? Okay, he tried to attack a friend
Said those goddess ass. Whoa, that's what did you roll to hit 15 27 27 hits him 10 15
15 plus 8 23 23 to hit 23 damage 23 damage
Okay, so that is I think it's the first damage he's taking here. Perfect. He got hit before you get
He's got happy right here. Yeah, you said it but you have it. Yeah
I had his health in different app. You're good. Okay, and he's got multiple apps
I still get one more. Do I have a lot of fucking monsters keep track of her? No, I get it
That's a second health bars in the next step first face
The music changes like what did the music change your what it means why is it circus music?
Yeah, that's the clown it's about to come out
So that's another eight damage
So that's another eight damage, okay
Okay, so my open hand technique says that when I hit with my period blows I can impose an effect
See let's do a deck saving throw for him
What was it 14 that is 17
It's alright that was just trying to knock them brown it didn't work, but that's alright
Okay, that's
All right Frankie it is your turn I will exit
I
Will exit the cave the real bosses entered the fight
I really have a ton of damaging stuff I can do I can just make them mad
I will
How high up is he about 80 feet near
He didn't go down any when he got it nope he
He saved real high to keep his composure if he had failed it would have fallen I was gonna 80 feet
That's why it was really worth using my accessor should I really
I will
I will I will
Come on
Rock 볼�!」
No
Sorry, one sec.
I had a thought in mind and I was like, what's the range?
It's 120 feet.
It's been a minute.
I'm gonna just buzzy on over to out of the cave where I can see a bit of what my...
Oh shit.
Nevermind, a Vicious Mockery.
It was a concentration.
I was gonna turn against its friends.
What's safe for Vicious Mockery?
It's a Wisdom.
DC 16.
That is gonna be a 15.
Oh, fantastic.
And that means he's going to take all of this.
Take it.
Five damage, bitch.
Yeah!
Yeah.
That's exactly what you said.
Five damage, bitch!
Take it.
Floaty ass bitch and me like he's floating.
Come down on my level, I dare you.
He has disadvantage on his next attack roll before the end of his next turn.
Then I'm gonna turn to Nyx as his joining form and I'm gonna Pantomime picking up a
Halfling and throwing it up there.
I'm gonna look at him and be like, fucking do it, and I'm gonna Bardic Inspire it.
What's that?
That's a d8, an extra d8.
So if you don't feel like you're gonna make your hit, roll that extra d8.
I will probably use that d8 after what happened last time.
That guy's AC is crazy.
I think you can roll and then decide before you call it down to the bottom.
What else am I doing?
That's bonus action.
You gotta move, bitch.
Yeah, my movement's just gonna be to get as high off the ground as I can.
I am making my way, not in a direct line between him and Nyx, but making my way towards him.
So however close that can get me.
With a 30 foot fly.
Alright.
Let's see, it is now your horse's turn.
Alright.
I see the spooky man floating in the forest.
But before that, I'm going to attack this same guy back over here that is flanking Nyx.
Hit him.
They were taking some damage.
Yeah.
I've shot him.
Fuck his d8 up.
One of them's close to death already.
Alright, 15 and then, alright, so 15 plus 7 is 22.
Alright, that is 4 plus 5, that's a 9.
And I'm actually going to be using my plus 1 arrows for this.
So that's 10 in total.
Alright, let's see.
This guy.
That guy's dead.
Wahoo!
Leave a missile.
He was already hit from you before, so.
So there was nobody else in the cave?
Isn't this where the guy we're supposed to be looking for is?
Yeah.
We need to see where he is.
I'm gonna go to the other side.
But you didn't see anyone initially, because you only see 30 feet.
You're just driving.
Oh, right, right, right.
Sure, sure, sure.
The cave is still further.
You couldn't see anything with your goggles.
I didn't see 60 feet with my goggles.
Before you were wearing your fancy goggles.
Yeah.
I think I'm, I roll into action with them on.
It's to protect my eyes.
Oh wait, no, I can still do it.
Fuck yeah baby!
Alright, so horde breaker, I'm gonna be shooting the guy next to him.
Alright.
And that is...
Wow, I rolled 2 twice.
Does that 9 hit?
Unfortunately not.
Whoa, alright.
But I'm gonna be using my bonus action to cast...
Boner action.
To cast Hunter's Mark at the second level.
We're doing ranger things.
I'm doing ranger things.
Which does, you choose a creature you can see within range and mystically mark it as
your quarry.
Until the spell ends, you deal an extra d6 damage to the target whenever you hit it with
a weapon attack and you have advantage on wisdom or wisdom perception or wisdom survival
check.
You make, to find it, if the target drops to zero hit points before the spell ends,
you can use a bonus action on a subsequent turn of yours to mark a new creature.
And who are you marking?
Big man.
Float man.
Oh, so if he goes away...
Yep.
Alright.
So...
Ranger doing ranger things.
Doing ranger things.
Alright, so.
You think you can hide from me?
Okay.
Hide from me.
19.
Alright, so 19 plus 7 is 26.
Oh, you got hits.
Alright.
So that is...
6 plus 1 plus an additional 3.
That guy is looking fucked up as well.
And that'll be my turn.
Actually, using plus 1 arrows as well, so an additional 1.
Okay, that guy's looking pretty rough.
Which one did you hit on that one?
This one?
No, him.
Oh, that's right, you did hit this one.
That's pretty bad.
What was your range on that one?
100 and...
Oh, you said 150, right?
Yeah.
Okay, cool.
He's gonna go ahead and...
Now it's not their turn.
They ain't gonna do shit.
So they're gonna go ahead and...
Let's see, well, you know what the...
So they're gonna go ahead and attack him.
So I'm just gonna go ahead and rage again.
Fancy.
Silvering Bones.
It's my life major here.
Yeah.
So then they're all attacking...
What does that guy think you're doing?
Let's see.
It's gonna be...
It should be 5 of them, by the way.
Okay, yeah, so that one hits.
So it's gonna be 3 damage.
Nope, 12 to hit, second one misses.
16, what's your AC, right?
16.
My AC again?
Ben?
It is 16.
16 down.
That's gonna be 6 damage.
And then 22 to hit.
That's gonna be another 4 damage.
I think the other one's missed.
This ragey boy's gonna go ahead and hit you too.
That's gonna be...
A 9 is gonna hit you.
And then the second hit's gonna be a 27, which will hit.
And it's gonna be 15 damage.
7.
Oh, sorry, 18.
Did the math wrong.
I forgot about his other bonus.
Oh yeah, so 18, and then...
Okay.
So he's here to see the floaty guy.
He's gonna float down a little bit.
And then...
Frankie, I'm gonna need you to make a con save.
Ooh, no!
Is it a spell?
Yes, sir.
I like the counterspell.
He's gonna go ahead and counterspell your counterspell.
Roll off!
No, it's a third-level spell.
Counterspell auto works on third-level spells.
All right.
Frankie, roll me a con save.
That means you can't counterspell now.
True.
18.
An 18?
Not gonna succeed.
All right, that's gonna be...
Might be down, guys.
Sorry about this, guys.
Sorry.
That's gonna be...
Gee.
Last time he did almost my full health.
Well, if you go down...
I'm chilling my phone on my own bar.
Yeah.
Not good, but...
Frank, it's gonna be 41 points of necrotic damage.
Oh my god.
Yeah, I am down, and if you want to throw me down for a failed death save, that's my
head impacts ground.
Oh yeah, you did fly up as high as you could.
Yeah, no, for sure.
So let's see.
So that's 41 necrotic, so that means...
Yeah, actually, Frankie, you actually turned into a zombie.
Cool.
Yeah, no, I outright die?
Yep.
Oh my god.
Well, it says you were...
It says a human was killed by this.
I don't think you...
It says you...
I don't think he was killed.
I think either...
We'll say you have one failed death save.
Yeah, because you're not killed yet.
You're on death saves.
So there are abilities that have, like, on hit zero return.
Yeah, yeah.
It says when you're killed.
It didn't say hit zero, so it says when you're killed.
I leave in your hands.
Yeah, so you are at one...
So we'll say you're at one death save.
That's all you guys know.
I'll be rolling his death save from here on out on this turn.
I feel like if it would have implied that, it would have said if a creature is knocked
unconscious.
It says a human was killed by this.
Yeah, then it would have been specific.
It said incapacitated or...
Yeah.
But like I said, there's ones that say on zero.
For sure, for sure.
I'm down for whatever...
So you see...
Yep.
We see this happen.
That's all we know.
You see him look and point, and then this dark energy just takes over Frankie's.
You see him collapse.
You are no longer Frankie.
I already took care of it.
I swapped it out on the board.
Can I do a little...
Just me and him, a little message right into his head.
As you were dying?
As I'm like...
Yeah.
I just want to say in his head, in my voice, just say, you better hope I die.
Wait, you were also on the ground.
Huh?
You were on the ground.
Frankie's on the ground, yeah.
You see body...
This is the first time, right?
Let's see you not...
You see Frankie's body just go limp.
You also no longer have Bardigan's...
Wait, does Bardigan's Ray...
He carries a ring.
He's inspired.
Cool.
I want to share if that went away.
All my concentration stuff dropped, for sure.
Okay.
I already know what I'm going to do.
This is going to freeze me up slightly.
I'm not...
It is hard, but it frees me up.
Perfect.
And then...
Which space would you occupy then?
I don't know.
I take up one space now, yeah.
Whichever spot.
Thank you, V.
Oh, you'd be right there, because you were flying.
And then you guys are going to see him no longer there.
That bitch.
Is he invisible?
That bitch.
Huh?
Is he invisible?
No, he's no longer there.
That bitch.
He...
Do I see how he disappeared?
Nope.
One second he's there, the next he's just poof, gone.
The floating man?
Yep.
Goddamn.
He's not back in the cave?
He's in your ass.
Alright, let's see.
Tell us where he is.
That is his turn, though.
Lasagna, it is your turn.
Your friend just...
You see his body.
Frank, for the first time, just go limp.
As you...
You see what's going on.
You see a lot of people in front of you.
Yep.
So what Lasagna's going to do, I'm just double checking my movement speed.
I think it's 30...
35, actually.
So I'm going to...
One, two, three, four, five, six, seven.
And while I'm running, Lasagna is very upset.
He's going to lift one hand in the air, and then as he brings it down, he's going to spend
his action to do...
Because the Call of Lightning is still in the air, so I can spend my action to do another
call down on these two right over on the edge, and they need to make a dexterity set.
Remember that damage you took with Necrotic, so you can only heal up to a certain amount.
Oh, it also reduced my max?
Yeah, because it was 41 Necrotic.
Oh, well, does it reduce my max, too, though?
Yeah.
Because that's like a separate thing.
Because you were...
With the damage type.
Unless it isn't.
In which case...
Because you...
Wait, because you had already taken Necrotic, though, right?
Huh?
You had already taken Necrotic damage from the orb.
Yeah, I took a summon in the cave.
So then, what did that bring your health down to then?
It might.
I mean, so that would have put me at a 20...
Well, I was at full health, so I went down to 22.
And he just took 40, so then he can't be healed?
Is that what you're saying?
No, yeah.
I mean, he's trying to...
I think he's trying to figure out, does this just kill me out?
Oh, no, yeah.
This is actually...
Oh, fuck, yeah, you actually did...
Because I also...
I mean, so...
Sorry, so don't...
If you're gonna heal him, he's actually...
He's a zombie, sorry.
So yeah, I forgot about the Necrotic, yes.
So yeah, so...
You're gonna need a new character.
Unless you guys can de-zombify him.
I don't know, it's hard to...
It's hard to...
It goes coming in hot.
Yeah.
It's just...
Frankie's also been some more, like, vicious spells.
It's...
It changes...
It's Frankie, but...
You see Frankie's body drop, and then you see it kind of, like, unnaturally rise on its
own, and it kind of looks like just an emptiness behind his eyes.
He's walking like a fucking club.
Is he...
Is he affected by blinded, deafened, paralyzed, or poisoned?
You know, old man back at the villa seemed pretty strong.
We just gotta get him back.
Well, shit.
I mean, that's my action.
And then I guess I see that happen.
Oh, did they make their dexterity saving throw?
Them?
What was it saved?
19.
First one's 20, not natural.
Second one is 7.
Oh, there was a 1, 2, 5 there.
So one of them saved, one of them...
Yeah, there's only two right there.
So 9 plus 8, 17 damage.
So the one that took full damage is dead.
The one that took half damage is barely alive.
He seems to be...
Oh, actually, that was the one that...
Ryan.
Yeah, no, he's dead as well.
So both of them are dead.
Yeah, both of them are dead.
You see his lightning just chars their bodies.
All right.
And then...
I'll always remember Frankie for this.
For the experience of making me feel huge.
Yeah.
Fucking huge, bro.
Well, shit.
I think that sentence was gayer than kissing a man.
Seeing Frankie do that, I'm going to...
Bonus action.
Made me huge.
Bonus action, healing word to Harun.
Healing word?
Yep.
3 plus...
I don't think it did.
Well, I thought you were.
Did I?
Oh, wait, I did get damage.
Yeah, you got hit with the orb.
I forgot about that orb.
3 plus 5, 8 to you, good sir.
Thank you.
I appreciate that.
Fuck.
That's my turn.
All right.
Let's get this up on the Lord.
Yep.
Next is your turn.
Am I flanking the barbarian?
Yeah, you still have, because Harun's right behind him.
Okay.
So actually, first things first.
Bonus action.
First I'm going to use this.
Everyone around me.
Within a...
My armor.
Within a 10 foot radius needs to make a DC 15 Khaan's egg.
Everyone around you within a 10 foot radius.
Back to the Harun.
I'm cool with that.
We've already had this discussed.
What's the save?
15.
15, you said dex?
Khaan.
Khaan, okay.
I'm expecting the barbarian to make it.
Is it poison?
Yep.
I have advantage.
You got even better.
Okay, so...
We discussed this too.
The barbarian saved, the other three dudes failed.
Okay, all three of those guys are poisoned.
Okay, cool.
So that means they all have disadvantage on their attack and ability checks.
Nice.
Yeah, I have a dirty 20.
Nice.
So everyone but the strong people.
I mean, hey, disadvantage.
I mean, they have advantage.
Some of them have advantage on you, so...
Harun almost gets excited when he sees this finally happening and he just like...
He's like, that's it?
What happens is like a green cloud just comes out of your chest.
Yeah, it's like a green cloud of bubbles.
Harun, you're just thinking this is why I beat him for the belt.
Lasagna probably smells it.
He's like, I'd like him to smell it home.
Yeah.
And then I am going to hit him.
Actually, the advantage.
Yeah, I don't know.
I should have hit the damage.
Who comes of one?
Holy fuck, what are the odds?
I rolled a one twice.
Oh my goodness.
No.
All right.
Our luck is going.
You're so confident and you just like hit it.
You drop your sword right in front of him.
He's like, oh fuck, oh fuck.
And then you pick it back and you're like, I swear it never happens.
Yeah.
He like lets you grab it back up because he's chuckling to himself.
Yeah, then I hit him.
I hit him again.
Okay, cool.
That's a 19.
I'm going to not hit.
Oh my God.
Okay.
That's my turn.
Okay.
Is that advantage too?
Yeah, that was with advantage.
Okay, I know what my next action is going to be.
Horyu, it's your turn.
Yeah.
Yep.
Exactly that.
That's my turn?
Yep.
I'm going to say Reiki 2.
There is a tear coming out of Lasagna's eyes, that's for sure.
Brains.
Here, bitch.
Except about waist high.
Brains.
Does he still fly?
I don't think he flies as long as I don't think maybe.
Can he still fly Gonzo?
He's trying.
You see his wings are going, but he's just trying.
His toes are just dragging.
I just imagine that, yeah.
He's flying, but his feet are just dragging on the ground behind him because he can get no height.
Yeah, I'm going to hit this guy.
With Goliath?
Yes, with my dagger.
And it's flanking.
Okay, that's 27.
To hit?
Yes.
Yes, sir.
That's 9 damage.
I'm going to hit him again.
A 1 and a natural 20.
Okay, so I'm going to roll at 8.
The original roll is 5.
Do I double the original roll and not the plus?
You damage the dice roll.
Okay, so 5 plus 5 is 10, plus 7 is 17 on that one.
And then I'm going to Fury of Blows.
He's going to furiously blow him.
Like he wouldn't fucking move.
Damn, that one's 18 to hit.
18 does not hit.
Okay, one more.
Oh, a fairy?
Yeah, that one also does not hit.
All right, let's see.
It is Zombie Frankie's turn.
That's fine.
As you see him shamble over and bite Arun.
Try to bite him.
Yeah, can you go ahead and roll for this?
Does that terrain something for an effect?
No.
May I look?
Oh, that's right.
I don't know why I took it down.
That's my bad.
May a zombie persuade Arun?
I don't know why I took it down when they dropped concentration.
That's just be like a little extra movement.
He has half his movement to get up.
Arun, I want your brains.
Go ahead and roll with advantage to hit him.
Frankie, I don't have brains.
We'll find out.
It's going to be for that.
Am I using my stuff to hit here?
Yeah, you can.
Okay, am I hands or rapier or dagger?
It's going to be actually...
I think it's an unarmed strike.
I feel like it would be.
Because if you're trying to tie it up.
Yeah, unarmed strike.
Then that's a strength to hit.
15.
He tries to bite you, but then he just...
Actually, it's not with advantage because he has his cloak.
Maybe a straight roll.
Just for future reference.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Your heart is your turn.
Fuck you, baby.
I'm going to keep Frankie.
Take the bottom...
Like Charm of the Dead?
Yeah, I'm the Charm of the Dead, Frankie.
I'll nail his hands behind his back.
Or like Michelle when you guys got her.
Now that Nyx is no longer an ape, which is a wild thing to say, even in context, would
I be able to just shoot over him because that is a goliath?
That I am small.
Yeah, he's like five foot taller than Nyx.
Yeah, he can.
Him small.
Yeah, he's like at least four or five feet taller than everyone around him.
So, we're going to roll four shoots to you.
I cast seven.
I cast 17.
17 does not hit.
It's 17 plus seven.
Oh yeah, it hits.
24 hits.
Fuck you, baby.
All right, that's a three plus three plus one, so I cast seven.
No worries.
Some damage on him.
I also get four...
Right, plus one arrows.
And that is magic damage as well.
I'm going to get my Warbreaker, so I'm going to shoot this guy.
I actually know this guy in the back.
Right next to him.
This guy all the way in the back.
Yeah, you said he was already pretty damaged.
Do you move up at all?
Just curious.
No.
Okay.
No, I got range.
No, you're good.
What do you open?
I see.
It's almost as if he's a ranger.
I see, bitches.
All right, that's a 13, or that is a five, so unnatural 20 on a hit for that guy.
Oh yeah.
Yeah, it hits for sure.
All right.
So that is five plus one plus one.
So that's...
I cast another seven.
Damage?
Yeah, seven damage on the guy in the back.
That?
Yeah, Mark and Gans are holding hands right now.
They are.
We're not just holding hands.
Yeah, they're holding...
Don't look under the table.
Yeah, where is his other hands?
That's where you need to be worried.
Oh, it's on my hand.
They caught my feet, the grippers, for a reason.
Oh, you see, there it is.
I was going to see your heart and be nice.
Seven damage on that guy in the back.
That guy?
That guy's dead.
Yeah.
I would like to imagine that.
The arrow just embeds itself into the base of the skull, like right where the brain stem
meets the skull itself in the spine.
Am I keeping track?
I actually have all of my kills right here.
I thought it was mine, because I saw the yellow real quick, and I was like, what the fuck?
I don't keep track of my kills because I'm not a fucking sociopath.
We're just having a fun game.
Nick tries to, but he can't count them.
Last episode, we talked about having a fun game about it.
That's why.
That is true.
Yeah, you weren't going to be part of it though, right?
I did say that I wasn't going to be part of it because I didn't want to lose any more
money.
I have been killing bitches on this time.
I mean, you might be winning this.
Well, I mean, I don't know if Fringy is going to be using his money.
Don't forget to give his pets.
Don't break my heart.
That is achy, breaky heart.
You better not have a character.
It would just go to a pot.
Schmock.
All right, but I also get another attack because I get two attacks.
I'm also going to use a bonus action to use at the second level hunter's mark on the big,
old motherfucking board.
Can you cast Hunter's Mark on two different people?
It just costs a different spell slot and uses them the first time.
Exactly.
Cool, I remember you were reading it before.
This is perfect.
Yeah.
Yeah, because now that the other guy is fucked off.
Oh no, he's still...
So, is he disappeared or if he's in combat?
Let me double check.
I think you can only...
I think if you use your bonus action, I think you can only...
You can redo a hunter's mark, right?
You can redo it, but they have to die.
Yeah, they have to die.
That's the trick.
That's to hit zero.
They have to hit zero.
You can reapply it, otherwise you have to cast it again.
Yeah.
It says just here, until the spell ends.
Yeah, it's a concentration spell.
So, if he's fucked off, then he would lose concentration, but if he hasn't fucked off...
Yeah, you can't see him anymore.
I mean, that's true.
Yeah.
Well, he doesn't, because he doesn't have to see him.
You would know.
He would know if the guy's fucked off or not because there's one.
Oh, wait, no.
So, he's still within the area.
Oh, but...
So, you know he hasn't left your...
He might not switch.
90 feet.
Oh, never mind.
You wouldn't actually...
Is that what you mean?
From him?
I mean, that's why I was wondering if he moved up at all.
That's 5, 10, 20, 30, 40, 40.
You guys let me know.
No, it's actually outside your range.
You actually wouldn't know.
All right.
Yeah, it went outside your range.
So, on second thought, we don't cast hunter's mark, and we just go ahead and shoot the big
fucker again.
You can reapply it.
Yeah, you can reapply it if you want.
As a bonus action.
Right.
Well, or you can hit him.
Up to you.
I'm telling you, you can reapply it now.
Well, I mean, I do have spell slots.
Hold on a second.
Let me double check.
Oh, yeah, no, I'm gonna reapply it.
I got stuff to use.
So, we'll be doing an additional d6.
All right.
Are you making it, Franklin?
All right.
15 plus 7 is...
22?
That hits.
22.
All right.
So, that is 6 plus 4 plus 5.
Nice.
So, that is...
15?
Yeah, 15.
I do 15 damage to the big guy.
All right.
And that is my turn.
And your attacks count as matter of fact.
Yeah.
So, I'm gonna double check.
I'm gonna double check.
So, this is magical, right?
Yep.
Yes.
He took the full damage on that one, sir.
I've been...
No, I...
I know you know.
I'm just...
My guy.
Yeah.
All right.
It is...
Let's see.
It is now their turn.
All right.
So, what they're gonna do is...
I'm not looking forward to this.
Make sure I get Frankie's pants.
I seem to put a lot of stuff in those pockets.
Damn, already?
I thought Nix would be there, but Lasagna?
No, no.
I'm just kidding.
Lasagna's still crying with the tear coming down.
21 to hit.
Fuck, yeah.
All right.
That's gonna be eight points of damage.
Cool.
And then he's gonna go ahead and hit you again.
That's a 23 hit.
Yep.
Oh my God.
That's gonna be...
Shit, sorry.
18 damage.
Okay.
And then he's gonna go ahead and use his action surge.
Damn, he literally is just me.
Just like me for real.
He's just me.
18 to hit.
Nope.
And that's gonna be a 20, not natural, to hit.
No, that hits.
He has four attacks.
Yeah, connections are strong.
You didn't want to hit me once?
I know, I was hoping.
Oh no, he was going towards the guy that was doing damage to him the most.
It's gonna be 10 damage.
Well, the gorilla, that just turned into a much smaller version.
I'm gonna let him know I'm just actually right here.
Now he's looking down at you and he's just like...
I'm about to let Haruno right now.
Fuck off.
I got this.
Go into flanking position and not leave Nix's...
Like this?
No, other way.
Like that, yeah.
And then these guys are gonna attack him.
Okay.
Oh, so they would have...
They have decent damage.
Okay.
Because they're poisoned.
So it's a straight roll.
Because they're flanking.
Either way, they both miss.
Yeah, so they both try to like...
They miss.
I guess I'm gonna go ahead and move into flanking position for...
That guy was poisoned too, wasn't he?
Yeah, they're both poisoned.
Like that?
Yep.
For him?
So did he get disadvantaged on his other rolls?
Oh no, no, the glyph is the only one.
He reuses it.
Oh, okay.
Well, so that he gets advantaged.
Is that what you were saying?
Yeah.
Okay.
I should have done that earlier, I forgot.
Oh well.
And then you're gonna hear...
So you're gonna see the...out of the cave pop up the little figure.
And then he's gonna go ahead and...
You're gonna hear this in...
A Bessel?
Yep.
Is he gonna answer my question?
Huh?
Nope.
I said, what are you doing here earlier?
You're gonna hear, rise my minions.
Oh, I rolled real low.
Four, you see as four of the halflings rise around you guys.
Around us too?
Or around mostly Nix?
The four that have been around Nix and you guys.
I'd like to point out, miss or not, there are at least a couple halflings that have sailed
off into the distance.
Yeah.
The Expressor.
He was long-darted fucking...
Yeah.
There is a cap.
Because some of them are gross.
Because he can throw them up to a hundred feet away.
How many was thrown?
Two?
I tossed basically two and then I launched the others.
One of them is over here.
So that's as many as you can revive.
Three.
But you can revive them.
Well, actually I was gonna say, these will...do you count the ones that were eviscerated
by the lightning?
We'll see if we have all the fours of four rows.
And then you're gonna see him just back into the cave.
Fucking pussy.
Do I see those two?
Yeah.
Is he flying in the cave again?
He's floating, yes.
He's sitting 30 feet in the air.
Is he at the roof of the cave?
Yes.
Or is it...okay, so you're just like up towards the top.
Yeah.
Manicingly...manicingly...
He's on top of the cave.
He's not in.
No, he's in the cave.
So he's at the very top of the cave.
I got A idea.
The very top of the cave is 30 feet.
So he's floating at the very top just to be away from the bottom people.
He's trying to get away and then...let's see...
Shit, I forgot those other ones too.
They're difficult terrain.
Except they had enough room to fling.
Well, they just kind of like, you know, rose back up type thing.
Well, yeah, it was something with the other guys.
They had to walk around.
True.
They both missed anyway.
Yeah, they missed.
What's the long news?
Your turn.
Seeing all this evil around me.
I'm going to back up just a little bit, about 35 feet, staying without of an attack of opportunity.
And that should get me in between 30 feet of my entire team.
And I'm going to cast Bless at the first level on the rest of my team.
Bless Frankie.
Well, unfortunately...
He hungers.
Unfortunately, I can only cast it up to three creatures.
And the three creatures are Y'all, Horace, Nyx, and Harun.
You got the least.
I lost you.
Is anybody looking fucked up?
I'm probably fucked up.
Well...
Currently, no.
Yeah, I know you're chilling.
Just a little bit.
It's like, how's everybody looking?
And off the distance, you hear Y'all, Horace go, I'm fine.
He would too.
I'm fine.
I will cast Healing Word at the first level to Nyx.
And I'm going to tell him to...
You know, after this, we're going to get a drink, all right?
Do I get an inspiration from that?
That would make Nyx feel so good.
You are hard.
8 HP.
Thank you.
That actually negates one of his hits.
Two of those HP goes straight to your dick.
Yeah.
And that will be my movement bonus action and action.
Harun...
It's your turn.
Top of the action, right?
Top of the turn order.
Top of the bottom.
Oh yeah, Nyx.
Because I was at the bottom.
Sorry, you're right, Nyx.
I had my thing scroll down and it just said Harun.
I was like, fuck.
I scroll back up, yeah, Nyx, you're good.
All right.
Do I still have advantage on the Goliath, right?
Yeah, Nyx is behind him.
Harun.
I'm going to yell to the team, focus on the nobodies.
Me and big boi got some...
I got big boi.
Well, we got the fucking guy to worry about too.
Well, that's why I said the nobodies.
That's what I'm worried about.
Me and this Goliath got issues.
Got it.
He thinks he's better than me.
He's a dick measuring contest.
At this point, I found out that he's me, so I got to show him what's up.
They're like, what?
Fuck yes, crit.
Oh, I'm critting, I'm critting.
Cool, because I was really worried.
Um, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
What's the next idea?
Yeah, okay.
Five, ten, twenty damage.
Twenty damage, he takes half of that.
Cool, and then, all right, swing again.
That's thirty-one.
And I do...
13 damage.
All right, well, he's going to go ahead and use his reactions as well to hit you back.
Let's see.
Twenty-seven to hit.
Jesus Christ, what kind of weapon does this guy got?
I think it's...what kind of weapon does he have?
I feel like he's got a longsword, short sword.
It's a greatsword.
Greatsword, okay, that makes sense.
Fuck, I'm taking a bitchy sword at that.
This man is just one-handing a greatsword.
He's strong as shit.
I'm strong too.
He's got big dors for arms.
Yeah, he's big doi.
Big doi.
18 damage to you, sir.
Okay.
Let's see.
So what was the total damage you did?
I did twenty the first time, thirteen the second time.
Thirty-three divided by two.
Perfect, yeah, he's still standing.
And we're both barbarians, so it's probably taking a minute.
All right, I feel you, I feel you.
We're both barbarian fighters, so this is going to be a long fight.
This whole fight has just been climbing.
That is his reaction though, so he can't use that again.
And then my bonus action, do I have anything with my bonus action?
I think I used the only thing that I had.
Yeah, I already seconded.
Can I re-rage?
Get more angry?
I just want to see if I can get a different magical, sir.
No, you're already raging.
Fuck.
I mean, it's a pretty cool ass ability.
It's a higher level thing.
I mean, once you get a higher level, you can do a re-rage.
Yeah, well also with this specific class, when I get a higher ability,
I can just roll three times to pick the one I want.
I just chose to become a park fighter, so I'm always off of that.
Yeah, that's my turn.
That's pretty cool.
I get mad.
You say someone casts calm emotions.
Yeah.
Well, also, yeah, that level also you can't be affected by calm emotions, too.
All right.
How long is your turn?
It's my turn.
Well, you said focus on the little guys.
He's talking about Frankie.
I don't want Frankie to die.
I'm going to tell Nick, please don't kill Frankie.
You're next.
I think I might risk some attacks off to go against that other dude.
I'm real worried about him.
He doesn't have a reaction.
Who doesn't?
Big boy.
He already reacted to it, Nick.
All right, so then I would only have to worry about the other guys.
As I say, you can bonus action away if you wanted to.
You don't want to waste it?
I forgot about that.
I'm going to go for it.
So I'm going between here and I'm going to move this way.
Did you use your bonus action?
No, I did not.
All right, that's going to be...
So these guys are straight rolls.
These two are straight rolls.
The guy on the right gets hit.
So yeah, those two are straight rolls, but him, take this to your guys that's left, my right.
He gets hit by me.
If he's doing an opportunity.
You had your...
They got you straight rolls because they had advantage.
Right, right, right.
So those two green ones get straight rolls.
Frankie could get a disadvantage roll because he didn't have...
No, he didn't because of Goliath.
Oh, right, because of Goliath.
So it's a straight roll for Frankie too.
Let's see, Goliath.
I'm going to roll a three.
Oh, you're right.
He can't react to this.
Legendary reaction.
A 12 and a seven to hit.
So I'm assuming they miss.
No, they miss.
All right.
Dude on the right right there gets hit with a 21.
21 damage or 21?
One to hit.
21 to hit, yeah, 21 hits.
26 damage.
26, wait is that a reaction?
I haven't used my reaction yet.
What's the range on that?
10 feet.
Okay, cool, just wanted to make sure.
Yeah, so he goes down.
So is that you using your reaction?
That was my reaction.
Yeah, that guy goes down, six down.
Oh, this guy does?
Yeah.
So he's dead?
Yep.
Okay.
So he's put back in this category.
So this guy.
So he's back in the cave.
Okay, so he's in the cave and how far into the cave is he?
You don't know, you just saw him pop into the cave so you don't know.
I can't see him when I'm in there?
Oh, you're moving again into the cave?
Yeah, well I used five, 10, 15 so far and then so I don't know how far into the cave.
About take another 20 feet to get to the cave from there.
Okay, so that's 35.
So we'll say something like I don't know where he's at.
Yeah, so you move 15 feet in and he is in the cave so he's about 40 feet from you.
Oh, he's about 40 feet, okay.
What is your...
Well, yeah, I would keep moving until I see him.
Oh yeah, so you can't see him.
So that was 35 feet so 45 I'd be able to see him.
Because you said he was 40 feet away so that would be 10 less so that would be my 30 foot.
Yeah, so you can see him so the edge of your vision is where you see him.
Okay, and I got...
So you got five more movement.
I'm going to use my action to use Holdness of Body for 21 HP which puts me at the top.
Smart, smart, smart.
And that will be...
His guy has only done spells so far, right?
He's taking damage.
Right, right, but my bonus action like Patience of Defense, that wouldn't probably matter.
I mean, I'd already have Disadvantage on...
Yeah, you already have it, yeah.
Okay, I think that's what he had to do.
Alright, so I'm going to...
Zobby Frank.
What was the thing he said to me?
Oh no, so what you heard was Rise of My...
Oh, I asked him again why are you doing this and Abyssal.
Who am I attacking?
So you're going to move into an attack that'll break him up there which is going to be...
Nyx.
Nyx, you are fucking ultra surrounded.
You are flying through the world, so...
I did a nine.
Or do I have flank?
Yeah, you do.
Fuck yeah, let's go.
Come on, crit.
Okay, okay, eight.
I have nine.
Franky is swinging his real ankle, he's kind of barely raising his ankle.
What the fuck was that?
He tries to bite at your ankle.
I just give him a deep sigh, like...
Man, I wanted to beat your ass, but not like this.
This is fatty.
You're turn, as your boy is surrounded.
Alright, I'm going to be shooting the guy directly behind him.
Right in the back of the head.
You are blessed.
Nice, yeah.
And I still have advantage, too.
That's a nat 20 on the second one.
Fuck yeah.
So, that is four, so that's eight plus three.
True.
I'm going to be using my regular arrow for this one.
I'm in blessed as what, a d4?
D4.
Does that apply to damage or just the damage?
Oh no, just the attack rolls and saving throws, that is the only thing that it applies to.
So, that is eight plus three, that is eleven.
Bless concentration.
I literally just thought that, and I was going to mention that on my turn.
The cloud is gone.
So yeah, I do eleven damage to the guy in the back.
Cool, okay.
He actually did.
Great, that was one of the last halflings standing, and then there's one more halfling
that I can read.
Yep, I'm going to be shooting this guy, also again with regular arrow, that is 13, 4, and
11, so unnatural 20.
That hits.
Can Frankie, Zombie Frank, can he shit talk a little bit?
Yeah, just deep into your character.
Yeah, yeah, this is like, these are like body reflexes instead of like cognitive ones.
So regardless of whether or not Yoharis hits, I say miss.
I deal another 11 damage to this guy.
Alright, that guy gets hit.
You see him crumple and then just come back up.
Oh, fantastic.
Alright, and fuck it, I guess I'm just going to go for the big guy now, and I still have
Hunter's Mark on him as well.
Yes, sir.
So that is a fucking natural 20.
Natural 20.
Oh my god, fuck yeah baby.
Oh, fucking good.
Alright, that's a 12.
So 24 plus an additional 6 because of Necrotic, which is 2, so 26.
Plus another 6 on Hunter's Mark, or D6 on Hunter's Mark.
Oh yeah, you're right, plus another 6.
So 26 plus 5, 31, he has 31 motherfucking damage.
Nice, he's looking a little rough.
That's my turn.
I shit talk him.
Oh, this big barbarian boy hurt.
Well it is a turn.
I stand on my shit talking.
Alright, so one of the zombies is going to flank around you so that way he gets flanking.
Half movement speed, yeah.
It's only 5 feet, I'm sure he's got it.
I mean he's a halfling with half movement speed so he's got like what, 10, 12 feet of
on him.
The other zombies are going to go around to get to him as well so all of them are going
to be hitting you.
I think they're all on the way there.
Well the one that's right behind.
Oh, here?
Yeah.
Oh, okay.
He has like what, 10 feet?
I don't know where, because he's here.
Yeah, go ahead and put him on the other side.
Well he's only got 10 feet of movement because the half movement is on the other side.
Oh yeah, so he'll just be right there.
I mean if you want to go here, he can get there next turn.
Well either way, he's going to attack him.
Oh, okay.
So they're all going to attack.
Let's see.
He does a 26 hit.
Jesus Christ, how are they all rolling so high?
Oh no, no, this is the fly.
He's swinging on you.
He's like, argh!
Yeah, that hits.
Yeah.
And that's going to be 13 damage.
Okay.
He's going to go ahead and hit you again.
You got an advantage on that one.
So it's going to be another 26 to hit.
Just stay alive.
I'm still chilling, but man.
That's going to be 21 damage.
It's a good thing that you were hit before him.
For real?
Yeah, because that was 150 or something.
Yeah.
And then.
And I took 30 damage from that when I was young.
I'm currently using my second wind on Moe.
I don't regret using my active surge.
I do regret using my second wind.
Oh yeah.
Yeah.
I don't like what you have planned over there.
No, I just want to see.
I'm just looking.
Just looking at the tomes, you know, seeing what the tomes got to say about what's going to happen next.
You can soak my dice.
All right, let's see.
Okay, Harun.
Actually, I'm going to finish them and then I'll get to you.
They're going to go ahead and attack you as well.
So these zombies are going to hit you as well.
One that has advantage.
Twenty not natural.
Yep.
All right.
So I'm going to go ahead and take a bite out of you.
That's going to be seven damage.
See the one right next to it.
It's going to be 18 to hit.
Nope.
And then 21.
Yep.
That's going to be eight damage.
This is a fine.
Another point hit.
Four damage.
Yeah.
So guys, and then.
I need you to make me.
He looks at you and then.
We answer.
No, he.
Rude.
He says slightly surprised.
He says you're a nuisance.
And then a green ray erupts from his face.
Go ahead and race.
No, no.
This are you kidding me?
God's own.
Does it look like a skeletal finger?
Let me see.
Not that's.
Dex.
You are.
You are blessed.
Slip of the tongue.
Hold on.
All we got.
This is my last one.
And he's.
I would hope so.
That is what I think it is.
Jesus Christ.
Is he getting a good finger in right now?
That thing is.
Hold on.
It is that.
So you said a deck save.
I was thinking.
Okay.
You gotta be 19.
Inspiration.
You sit on me.
You used the blast.
Yes.
Did you want it really, really bad?
Did you.
Did you want to make a deal with the devil?
I'll give you two hats.
I have evasion as a monk.
Because I failed, I only take half damage.
Okay.
All right.
Is that your reaction?
No, that's just.
That's just.
That happens.
Okay.
Yeah.
I only take half damage.
Do you.
Or do you want to make the old devil?
That's a pretty hard rule to do.
I can roll to 15 in the first place.
No, I don't want to make a deal with the devil.
I just lost.
I just lost the person I owed favors to.
I'm a clean slate guy.
He's calling in those favors straight from hell.
Nobody has inspiration?
All right.
You're taking a half damage, which is.
Something.
Yeah.
It didn't help me too much in the end.
Got me through one.
So you're going to take six.
Is this a ranged attack?
Huh?
Is this a ranged attack?
Would you like to catch it?
Wait, do you have.
No, no, no, no, no, no.
I know I can reduce that damage.
Yeah, yeah.
But I was meant to.
Would you not be disadvantaged on a ranged attack because of my cloak?
This is a save.
It's not.
It's a save.
Oh, it's not a range.
No, it's a save for you.
It's a save or suck.
Oh, okay.
Yeah.
So you take 38 points of force damage.
That was a dissent, right?
Yeah.
Well, that's not double.
Yes, you take half of that.
So with your.
So it's going to be 39.
39 points.
Yeah.
You're still alive?
Yeah.
Because that's when you hit zeros, you don't roll death saves.
Yeah, you die.
You're done.
Anything you were wearing and carrying.
You said 39?
Yes.
So anything that you were wearing that was not magic right now turns to dust, including
your hats.
I'm going to say most of my stuff is in the bag of holding.
It's in the bag of holding.
Perfect.
Whatever hat you're wearing disintegrates.
I want you to know that.
Oh, it was the metal hat.
That was his name.
I am wearing the metal hat.
Wait, it's.
Oh, damn.
It is.
It can disintegrate metal too.
Damn.
Not anything non-magic.
Oh, shit.
My metal hat.
I am real fucking pissed.
Oh, no.
That feels mean, Gonzo.
Not the hurting him, but the why would you do that to his hat?
Damn.
Do I, with my passive perception of 18, do I see this magical green beam just happen
inside that cave?
No.
Avada Kedavra.
But you hear a mighty force erupt from the cave.
Like a googoo.
Oh, my chest disappears.
I have a chest also.
And legs.
And arms.
No, like an actual chest.
Okay, I lost my chest.
Sorry, I wasn't even there.
Yeah.
Damn, bro.
It's like that.
You're lucky you didn't die.
What?
I'm lucky I read my character sheet.
Jesus.
I was over here worried about you guys.
I still am.
Don't worry, I only had one of those left, though.
I stopped worrying like three rounds ago.
Yeah, I wonder why.
He's over here making another character already.
Oh, god.
As soon as I went down, I was like, that's it.
And then you're going to see him move further back into the cave.
Pussy.
Is it my turn?
Yes, it is your turn.
So.
He moves out of your line of sight.
Haru looks cool as fuck, though, getting half-burnt by this necrotic but still being up.
It was force damage.
Or force damage?
Like just...
That's why if it drops you to zero, you just turn it into dust because it's so much force
damage that it literally just disintegrates you.
No force damage in that.
Oh, sure.
Not force as a whole.
Just a spell.
It's this particular spell.
And if you hit zero, no death saves you.
So lucky that you had half because I would have killed the fuck out of you with farm
bread and best.
So what I'm going to do is I'm going to five, ten, fifteen, twenty, twenty-five.
I'm going to touch Nix.
I'm going to touch Nix real hard.
And I'm going to cast Cure Wounds, which is 3d8 plus a d4 on this level.
Oh, yes, yes, yes.
18, 3.
So 18 plus 3.
What is that?
That's 21 plus 5.
So 26 HP.
I'm big chilling.
I'm going to take an attack of opportunity to then move this other two ten feet.
So that's on you, Gonzo.
That's going to be two of them.
No, no, no, because I'm staying within five feet of this guy.
So just one.
Whoever's that one who attacks, let me know.
Yeah, it's the one behind you.
It's going to be a natural 20 to hit.
I saw those eyes.
I'm going to hit hard, though.
Yeah, it's going to be 12 damage.
Well, I hit him with a 28.
All right.
And I do nice 21 damage.
All right.
You see him crumple, but then his form just pops back up.
Poshrove pick up, and he's going to need to make a dexterity saving throw.
All right.
19.
This is my reaction, just so you know.
19.
He makes it, but he's still going to take five.
So half of that, so two damage.
What kind of damage?
It's lightning or thunder.
OK.
I guess this is a thing of like magical damage, because I have a magical sword.
You see same thing.
He gets hit and then manages to pop back up.
OK.
Oh, still not my...
How far away is Harun from me?
I know he went off into the...
How far away did he go?
About 50 feet.
50 feet?
Perfect.
You are still in range.
Yeah.
What?
He went into the cave.
I can't see him?
No, he went into the cave.
Did you have darkvision?
Yeah, I have darkvision.
No, he's in the cave, so you have to go into the cave to see him.
Yeah, but if he's like 50 feet away, like he's...
So do you have to see him or is it...
He just needs to hear me.
It's healing word.
Yeah.
You should be able to hear him from me.
It's a cave, yeah.
Healing word, 60 feet.
OK.
I thought you were doing a visual.
No, no, no.
Yeah, you're good then.
Healing word.
He should be able to hear you.
He...
OK, perfect.
This is going to be at a second level, so that's going to be 2d4 plus 1d4, so 3d4.
Eight.
Four, one more time.
Five plus five, so 10 HP back to you, good sir.
Mark that off.
Eight.
And then I did the other one earlier, so I'll mark this off.
Perfect.
That's my turn.
All right, it's going to be...
All right.
Nick.
I'm rolling all these with advantage because I just realized that if they all have advantage
on me anyway, I'm reckless attacking every swing.
You also have a d4.
Yeah, you're still blessed, don't forget about that.
Yeah.
Who are you hitting?
Big boy.
All right.
That's a dirty...
Well, actually no, plus 11, so 31.
That hits.
All right, cool.
15 damage.
All right.
21.
21 hits.
21.
What's now?
Nice.
22 damage.
22.
All right, he is still alive, looking real fucking hurt though.
All right, that's my turn.
Simple enough.
That's my...
Get Echo Knight.
That's a priority to my...
How running is your turn?
Did you say you went even further?
Yeah.
Coming, bitch.
So is a potion a bonus action?
Yeah.
Use this in action, but I'll say it's a bonus.
Okay.
Then I'm going to...yeah, I'm going to drink a potion just to top myself off.
That is...
Six points.
Not much, but it could make a difference.
I'm going to...I know he's moving further in, but I'm going to use my full 50 feet to go
in.
Do I see him?
Let's see what's your range of vision.
30 feet.
So if he's 80 feet from where he last moved, then I can see him.
Yeah, you can see him.
Okay.
So how far do I think he is?
Is he at 30 or 20?
He's about 30 feet from you, and then you also do see, as you get further in, a cage.
Oh shit.
With a figure like...
Did you forget that that's why we're here?
No, I know.
Earlier I was wondering where he was.
Yeah.
Largar.
I can't tell who it is.
Okay.
I'm going to say...guys, I see Largar.
We do not hear you.
You do not hear him.
You are?
You turn around.
You see that.
Even with an Echo?
You were running a 1v1, sir.
You were deep in that cave.
Yeah, that's funny.
Really, the cave wouldn't Echo it out?
Because I've heard people being all the way in caves.
I mean, think about it like this, right?
I guess you got your own or us two, and you were far.
Yoharis ain't saying shit, and I'm in my ear.
Alright.
I think I would have seen the flash from when we got zapped.
No, it wasn't a flash, but you heard the fucking boom.
Yeah.
It was like a firework in a cave.
Yeah, you guys might not know if I'm alright.
You just heard a boom where you're just like, oh.
He knows, because he just said...I mean, he thinks it worked.
He's just like...
I'm hoping that it worked.
Like, internally, Yoharis is thinking, alright.
And then just fucking continuing shooting at targets.
Okay, I think I'm worried about health, and I can't do much about it.
So I'm gonna use my ring to turn into a giant spider.
Nice.
Fucking sweet.
Giant enemy spider.
I don't have any more movement, but I am now a spider.
Nice, okay.
Zombie Frankie, you wanna go ahead and bite him?
You want me to bite you?
You actually have Lasagna next to you.
Yeah, go ahead and bite Lasagna.
Okay.
Can I get advantage for personal feelings?
Yeah.
I hate to do this.
It's...well, it'll come after.
How much health do you have?
That's like 14 hit you.
14 actually is my armor class.
Nice.
Get it.
Is it just damage or strength?
Roll a d6.
A d6?
Yeah.
Hey.
Fine, get fucked.
Listen, cause zombies use their full strength without self-preservation.
Yeah.
Okay, that makes sense.
18 damage.
18 damage, yeah.
You hit the body and it just like...it's barely...it's like it's kinda hanging in there.
You see you kinda broke one of the arms off and it just goes...
What if I can't spare the dying from Ana's arm?
The arm's just kinda hanging from Ana's arm.
I mean, you would stabilize me, but I'm actively dead.
Let's see.
Zombie Frank is turning.
Yohara's is your turn.
Fuck yeah, baby.
Alright.
Well.
Gonna move up a little bit.
I'll go ahead and shoot that guy that's directly behind.
Alright.
5 plus 7 is...
12.
Does a 12 hit?
Yeah, sir.
Alright.
Up blast.
Oh yeah.
Cause you're blessed.
Hashtag blessed.
16.
Yeah, I would've hit him.
Alright.
That is...plus 4.
So I do 6 damage to the guy in the back.
Alright.
He crumples and then you see his form try to kinda get up but doesn't manage to as the
body kinda stays still.
Is he dead?
Yeah, he didn't...he didn't...
Yeah, how can I stay down?
Like dead dead or like...is he still in combat?
He's dead.
Oh, okay.
He's a worst battle.
Boop.
Alright.
Um, Hordebreaker, I'm gonna shoot this guy.
Alright.
16 plus 7.
Plus 4.
Um, so 16 plus 8 then.
Same thing, that guy goes down but then manages to...his body just rises again.
Alright.
Um, well that was just a hit.
Oh, okay.
I had enough damage.
Oh, okay, perfect.
Alright.
I think I know what I need to do.
Plus 3.
I cast 7.
Same thing, he hit him, goes down, just like that.
He can avoid half damage.
That guy was...over here was it a zombie or what?
Huh?
He was a zombie.
He got all zoned.
He went down and popped back up.
How does a zombie go down and come back up?
I don't have any reasons.
Does he actually come up or is he prone?
No, his body just pops back up.
Oh, god damn.
They've got a thing.
Yeah.
They've got a thing.
Indeed, they've got a thing.
Above the head, they've got a thing where they roll.
Alright.
Oh, interesting.
Yeah.
The characters don't know that though.
Yeah, yeah.
As far as Nix is concerned, the moment he'll pop back up, it's like, oh, fuck them, okay.
And then the living guy.
You've got to swap the heart and the brain.
And then I'm going to shoot at the big old barbarian.
That is 14 or...alright, 14 plus 7.
Plus a D4.
Plus a D4, you're right.
And then does your Hunter Mark add as well?
No, only the damage.
Yeah, I mean either way you hit, that's a lot.
Alright.
So yeah, that is a hit and this is going to be with a plus one arrow on this one.
So, 11.
Nice.
And then plus 3 plus 1.
Plus your Hunter's Mark?
Yeah, plus another D6, you're right.
So, 12 plus 3 is 15.
And then 6 plus 15 is 21.
Alright, yeah, as you see, unfortunately Nix, you don't get this kill.
No!
You always...
I just killed that Inaurus, fuck!
You always, you may actually like, you just shoot him and you see an arrow just fly right
in his eye and you see him just crumple.
Nix is immediately pissed, can I rerange now?
This one?
Yeah, the big guy.
The big guy is dead.
Yeah.
Big guy has fallen.
Wait, don't take him off because Nix is running his pockets on this.
That sword he's hitting me, it hit me a lot so I'm never going to see you about that.
Definitely taking that.
Yeah.
I'm going to shout out in Goliath actually because I do know the language of Goliath.
There is no beast I cannot fell.
All the way from the back.
Damn Nix.
Exactly, as he just fucking falls back.
And Nix is like, kind of pissed.
He's like, brother is all dying and me not getting the kill on a Goliath.
Jalen's happy because he was hurt.
Nix is pissed.
That will be my turn.
So these zombies will keep attacking you Nix and then one of them will, they're going to keep attacking you.
Two of them get advantage.
Jesus Christ.
They all get advantage because I'm already just attacked.
It doesn't matter.
Okay, so let's see.
Okay, only one of them hit.
One of them rolled a 20, the rest rolled, the highest of the ones rolled was a 14.
Was it Frankie?
No, Frankie.
Oh yeah, he has his own turn to come.
That's going to be 8 damage.
And then you're going to see as a door opens and then you see the creature look at you.
You hear in your head, you were worthy adversaries and he steps into the shadows and then just, he's gone.
Bitch.
As you see, the zombies around you, including Frankie, Nix, just kind of crumple to the floor.
So this guy's gone gone.
Huh? Yep, he's gone.
And the zombies just fall to the floor?
Yep.
Even Frankie?
Yeah, Frankie's bodies too, they just crumple to the floor.
Nix looks like Frankie with a deep sigh.
My friend.
Alright, and I go through the pockets.
Good luck.
I don't know what.
I'm going to, Lasagna's going to fall to his knees over Frankie's body.
But you were a good friend.
I'm sorry I couldn't help you.
I say you're a good friend.
You get the distinction, Prashna, in your mind of you could help your way out of a paper bag.
I'm going to the cage.
Is he alive?
We don't even know what's going on in there.
Yeah, so you get to it, you just see a body that's like, kind of like, laying down, like it's face down.
Is he near the cage, like, bars?
He's like in the middle of the cage.
Okay, is there any key around?
Go ahead and roll for staff and check.
Actually, investigation.
Am I still blessed?
Saving throws though.
Oh, well that's guidance.
Yeah.
Go ahead and roll me investigation to see if you can find it.
Okay.
Oh shit, I'm the fucking spider, god.
Oh, you're a spider, yeah, you're a spider.
Are we at a turn order?
Yeah, you guys are at a turn order.
Spidey that'll make.
Can my spider investigate?
I don't know why there'd be a reason to stay in spider now.
Use your spider legs to open the door.
Huh?
How does it alone business last?
I used it an hour, but you can come out of it if you want.
And then you'll have to roll again to see how many days.
He did that on purpose.
Can I see what kind of greatsword that Goliath had real quick?
Oh, which is regular greatsword.
That's it?
Yeah.
Damn bro was strong as shit.
Oh, he was strong as fuck.
Okay, if it's a normal greatsword, I'm going to run into it.
Can my spider self investigate?
I rolled a 14.
I'm not sure what that means.
You're crawling around, but as a spider, you really know what the fuck you're looking for.
Okay.
Then can I, I'll drop back.
I'll fiddle a web into the corner like where that door was just angrily like.
Casey opens up a door right there.
Yeah.
You're gonna start rage shitting webs.
And then I like drop back and then go.
That's a weird.
And then I look around for a key as myself.
Noticing that Frankie is dead and also that he was a zombie because I had not noticed before.
My perception is 14.
Gonzo was ripping so much ass.
Yeah, we're trying to have a nice moment here with Frankie.
It's dirty.
Yeah.
You, you, you find like there's like a pile of, well, there's like, there's like a table.
There's like a pile of like scrap papers and you guys were the papers and there's a set of keys there.
I open up that and I like flip them over.
Is he breathing?
Uh, let me see if you can figure out.
You don't really know.
You don't really do breathing.
So it's kind of, can I go over and help?
Yeah.
You walk in as he, he's open 17.
Okay.
You have advantage.
Yeah.
Oh, you see him walk up and then, uh, yeah, 17.
Yeah.
He appears to be, uh, he's a very shallow breath.
He looks like, uh, like, uh, you notice because you, you know, like, you know, more who knows
what I mean.
He looks like his limbs have been broken.
He looks pretty rough.
Like he's barely alive.
Uh, I'm gonna give him my other potion.
I'm gonna just give it to him.
Uh, it's, uh, 2d4 plus two.
Uh, that's seven points.
Uh, you see him regain consciousness.
He's still very, he's still very hurt, but he kind of regains his consciousness.
Lark, are we come to save you?
Did my dad send you technically your brother?
Is there anyone else here with you?
They're all dead.
I'm going to look around the building real quick to see if there's anyone here.
Um, there are piles of bones just like all over.
Is there anything else that I didn't notice investigating or just walking around the cave?
Uh, you just see, uh, there's a chest near the desk he was checking.
Where are you going with that?
Uh, it is locked.
Can I break the chest?
Well, I would have had the keys in my hand.
Oh, can I break the chest?
It's a ringing key.
You can still break the chest if you want, but how are you going to destroy the keys?
Oh, sick. Dirty talking.
Yeah, you, uh, are you punching it?
Are you using your sword?
I'm running into my sword.
Yeah.
You see, you hold the keys and you use the gun on the keys.
You can just break the chest.
And it doesn't just break the lock, he just breaks straight through and just, where the lock is, just caves the entire chest.
Oh, damn. A pommel strike.
Like when you open the side of the cans, the cardboard.
Yeah, yeah.
Just, what?
You see what looks like a ton of, looks like food and other, looks like various objects of probably just people who were taken just thrown in there.
So there's a few potions in there. There's food.
There's like a few bags of like what you're assuming are coin purses and stuff.
Before I go out and grab Lardar and come out with the rest of the group, can I just want to cast my magical runes and see if I detect any magic?
Um, the other potions are glowing, so.
Okay, anything else?
Um, no, there's just, well, Harun obviously is glowing and then, um, my fist.
And isn't like the normal stuff that was the other potions or nothing else, just Harun and the potions?
Yeah.
Okay.
Yeah, then I'm going to pick up Lardar and see what these guys are up to.
Um, with Lasagna, I'm just going to be staring down, like disbelief, but also like disappointment and mourning at Frankie's now, just, you know, necrotic, but also equally deceased being.
I'm going to pull out my flask of Elven Brandy that my good old boy Wallace gave me.
I'm going to offer it over to Lasagna.
Lasagna's going to take a really big swig.
Um, I'm going to take it back and also take a swig.
How long is your magical runes, Lasagna?
It's really just a 10 minute.
10 minutes?
10 minutes, I believe.
Okay, cool.
Um, just wanted to know.
Um, so you guys are leaving the cave and, uh.
Uh, I would have asked, uh, when he was looking through that stuff, if he's like picking it up, does either of those look like a potion of healing?
Because I just have one.
Yeah, two of them look like the exact same that you just had.
Could I have one of those?
Uh, I don't take shit out of the chest. I just pick up the man, throw him over my back, and like take what you got.
Alright, then I put everything in the bag of holding there.
Yeah, um, so yeah, there's two potions, and there's one like silver looking one, you don't know what it is.
So two health potions? Is it regular, greater?
You don't know. They just look like the one you had, but you don't know what variant degree it is.
Okay.
Uh, I'm also gonna take out my bottle of Feywild Honeywine, uncork it for the first time, and just pour it directly on Franky.
As you're doing that, you'll see your companions come out, and as long as you finish your sweating, you see, uh, Nix come out holding, um, what looks like another halfling. Your siblings.
Lark.
Buh.
Who would be heavier, Franky or Larkar?
Um, what about Sam? Um, but you do walk out, Franky's pants are glowing.
I take Franky's pants off. I already ran his bottle, like I wanna run his pockets.
If I'm coming out with all this stuff, and I see him taking off his pants, I'm going to take a spare pair of my pants, uh, so I have that nice elven clothes anyways, and I'm gonna put pants back on Franky.
I will, wait.
Before you do so, I will try to get...
Your clothes do have disintegrating.
Oh, no, it was in the bag of holding.
Oh, it was in the bag of holding, yeah, you're fine, yeah.
Uh, I, before you get a chance to do that, I won't forcibly stop you. I will say, I think Franklin would want to go out with his dick out. So...
I don't think so.
So I'm like, there's no point.
Yeah, so his pants are magic, so.
Alright. Yeah, I take his pants.
Scyther, fucken known.
Yes, I'll pick up Franky.
Can I see those pants real quick?
Yeah, I hand them to you.
And, um, can I just turn out the pockets?
He already...
I already ran his pockets, that was the first thing I did.
Well, yeah, but aren't they bags of holding?
So you can only really get what you would think is in there.
Yeah, so you were going for the gold, right?
But I mean, I want to take everything out of it.
Oh, okay.
So that's why I want to turn it inside out.
How much gold did you have left?
Just DM it to him, you don't have to say it out loud.
If you want to say it out loud to Nick, you can.
I want Nick's... I'm targeting on Nick's back.
Oh, yeah.
He's got 1,590 gold and a silver.
A silver.
Yes, because despite all the other stuff going on, all the haggling for more money,
I've actually spent the majority of my money on you guys.
Yeah, that is true.
He was sugar daddy.
I had exactly two magic items, one that Lasagna gave to me.
That favor, do I feel something in my body escape from me?
I would love to if these favors transferred over to next to kids.
Oh my god, I was going to say have Frankie's voice in everybody's head, whoever he owes a favor to.
We're four curses now.
We were just overcompensating because we feel bad, so the next person to join us were just trying to be really nice.
I literally poured one out on and for the homie, like I don't need to do anything else.
So what comes out of his pockets though?
What else was that?
Haroon's crowbar.
Bunch of food, there's...
Haroon's crowbar that he was looking for weeks ago?
There was like a kitchen point person in there.
I had that shit since the train.
Yeah.
Looks like it was people's packs that were thrown in there.
Haroon, isn't this your crowbar?
Yeah, I actually have two.
Well, here's a crowbar, here's a crowbar bag.
Frankie apparently had...
I don't need a crowbar.
I don't really need...
I take the crowbar.
And I put in my magical pants.
The main question that I really wanted to know is how many bottles of Hooch is in there?
That's what I wanted to know.
I had five bottles plus what was in that Winner's chest or whatever from the little mailing.
So I took that shit.
Yeah, there was... you had like seven bottles then.
Well, I have five.
I've used seven.
Oh, okay.
So there's five bottles then, yeah.
So five bottles of just...
So three bottles of Brandy and two bottles of the wine.
Oh, no, no.
Actually, then you're right.
I had five bottles of Brandy and then...
Yeah.
You want me to hold onto the alcohol?
I can put it in the bag.
Well, I pick up...
You can get the bag.
No, no.
I pick up four of them and I hand one to each of us.
What health is Largard at?
He is very... looking very rough.
He healed for a little bit.
He's like...
Oh, Largard?
Yeah.
Okay, I see the bottles come out.
I drop them off my back and I grab the bottles.
He's like, oh!
I probably see this and be like, you must... Largard, I'm sorry.
I've been so distracted because this is our good friend, but I see your hurt a lot.
Let me help you, bud.
Come here, come here.
You see the breath?
He's trying to whisper something.
He's like...
Here, hold your breath before...
Don't talk.
Okay, so I like to help.
The DM says, I'm whispering something to you.
Don't talk.
No, he's trying to talk, but he's...
15 plus 5 Cure Wounds to my man.
Oh yeah.
He's just like, oh!
It was Raph!
They killed us!
Who killed you?
All of them.
All of my friends.
Was it the EC?
What the heck?
What does that mean?
The emerald claw?
Yeah.
We did a scouting party.
I was the only one they kept alive.
Did you get any names?
That's exactly what I was about.
Any names.
No, but they...
They were trying to get information from me.
What were they asking?
They know the Dragonborn are around here somewhere.
They're looking for them.
Who?
The...
The people that the Dragonborn are with?
Yeah, the claw.
I think that was who...
That's the crew that they were saying that Thad was in.
I'm gonna go...
Before he passed away.
I'm gonna set Fringy down real quick, and I'm gonna go back in that cave.
And I'm gonna take out a piece of my chalk, and I'm gonna write down every profanity that Nix has told me on that wall in a vissile.
I'm also gonna toss the bottle of... the empty bottle of the elephant or the Feywild Honey Wine next to Nix.
Fucking Fringy.
And my piece says then, just like, son of a bitch, also just looking down at Fringy.
I was gonna pick him up and take him with us.
Did you take the rest of the bottles?
No, I took a couple, because that's why I dropped them in the car.
Well, I was gonna say I picked up one for each of us, so that was three of them.
And then there was eight, so there was five left.
I probably picked up as much as I could.
I didn't drop our car for no reason.
Alright.
I would say probably two or three.
There were seven bottles, right, Fringy? Was it seven?
Oh, seven, sorry. So I picked up three.
Yeah, so I mean there was four.
And you drank, you started drinking.
I would take at least two.
Well, I gave one, like I said, I took one and I handed it to you guys.
I was still drunk.
Okay, yeah, I'm picking up Fringy and I'm taking him with me.
Yeah, so you picked up the rest of the hooch, so you got like four bottles on you.
Okay, cool. I pick up Largar and I'm like, alright, boys.
Are you tired?
I think we need to see Mr. Man's dad back here and see what we can do about maybe doing a proper burial for Fringy.
I can carry Largar if you need me to.
It took you a couple hours, so.
But you guys, I mean, normally we would have taken you like half a day, but with you guys being in Favourite Terrain, it would probably take you way less than that.
So it would probably take you guys a couple hours.
It would be like Nightfall by the time you guys get back.
Okay.
And the only guy who couldn't see him in the dark is dad, so we're chilling.
Damn.
So Largar, oh, I will go back to Fringy's body and take my fantasy night vision goggles back from him.
I'm carrying him.
Oh, I'm carrying him with us on the way back.
Oh, oh, that's right. I will go to his body and take my glasses back.
Go to my room investigation.
Because who knows, maybe somebody else might need them.
Maybe his brother.
I don't think this next guy needs them.
Or wait, it extends dark vision otherwise, right?
Yeah, this next guy won't.
This is Franklin the Elder.
Oh, fuck yeah, 22.
Yeah, that's good.
All of you survived will level up as well, so.
What?
All of you will level up after this as well.
Oh, sweet. It's fucking sweet.
What color is your outfit?
You find a potion.
Those are like suit colors.
Like dark gray kind of stuff.
Is there any color color?
And you find a bag of gold on him.
How much?
There was 30 gold in there.
Fuck yeah.
Yo, Horace, is that a potion?
I could probably check it out.
We'll check it out once we get back to the camp.
Okay.
Also, yeah, he is wearing plate mail and has that great sword.
Ooh, plate?
That's for a fucking goliath.
Yeah, his goliath plate mail.
Yeah, I wouldn't be able to use it.
You could probably try to put it on.
Is it magical plate mail?
Because it's a magical armor from around the wilderness.
Could you piece by piece put that in the bag holding or is that too much?
I don't know.
It's probably too much.
It's probably way too much, especially for a goliath sized piece of armor.
Guys, we'll pick up on you guys going to the village later.
Heading back to the village.
Good game fellas. Sorry, Frankie.
That's a bit.
RIP.
RIP, the great one.
He went for the biggest threat first.
Man, now we have to figure out and get a little bit of information from, what is it, Franklin?
Yeah.
The backup is coming in.
Franklin the elder, Frankie's older brother.
You killed my brother.
Now Gonzo has to figure out.
Is this an adoptive brother?
Huh?
Is this an adoptive brother?
He fought him with a wolf.
Now Gonzo has to figure out how he's going to work it into the story.
Oh no, he, uh, Franklin just says, god damn it.
It has happened.
He's been looking for him this whole time.
A bunch of favors just transferred.
Oh no.
Finally.
Alright everyone, that was great.
Great episode. We'll catch you next time.
Later nerds.
Bye.