This is Frickin Nerd!
Frickin Nerd?
Where six friends put up with the dragons.
Oh, where we also smoke some drink and have some dink.
I am Will, who plays the character of the Zog'Namaz kind,
who is a druid wood elf,
and a fun fact about Frankie the Bard.
False fact?
Frankie, mind you, he likes to steal things.
What?
He likes to steal things.
No.
Frankie?
So I'm going to say his false fact is back in the day,
he was able to just steal.
Okay, it's not all wrong.
Worship that coin, didn't you?
I'm not talking about that.
At first I thought the false fact was going to be that I liked money,
and I was like, yeah, I love money.
I was on a different level.
So, false fact about...
I'll introduce yourself.
Oh, no, I can't.
My name is Ben, I'm playing Frankie, Frankie the Fairy.
You're here to steal your shit.
And your names.
Just don't answer.
Not your women, but you know.
So, fun, but also false fact about Yo-Haris,
is that before all this adventuring,
the real reason he left the Feywild is he got really deep into the mudreson scene.
He was a messy, messy boy.
That's really fun.
Hello, I'm Hard.
I'm also playing Yo-Haris, the Summer Eladrin Ranger.
Y'all Hard.
Yeah, Y'all Hard?
Y'all.
Not you, man.
Ah, geez.
Yeah, Summer Eladrinranger, we out here,
and a fun false fact about Nyx is that he has a thing for goliaths.
That's not a false fact.
Male goliaths.
Still not a false fact.
Goddamn it.
If it's tall, then he'll fall off.
Yeah, I really, yeah, if it's over five feet, I'm gay.
If it's over five feet, I'm gay.
That too.
Damn it.
If it's small, I can climb that tree.
Yeah.
All right, a fun false fact is that he only likes short people.
There we go.
It don't matter.
I mean, it could be a false fact or a real fact.
If you're shorter than me, I really don't have too much.
How do you feel about short people on stokes?
Ah, then you're just fake.
Be short like me.
I'm three foot, I'm proud.
So only all natural tall people.
So what you're saying is you don't like people on stokes?
Just like me for real.
Okay.
So how does he, you're getting piggyback rides.
I'm jumping.
I'm just fit as fuck, bro.
But you got a false fact about Haroon.
Oh yeah.
So I'm Jalen.
I play Nyx.
A false fact about Haroon is that he is bad at art.
Oh.
Rude.
That would be a false fact.
He hasn't brought it up, but he does have some illustrative manners.
Nude art.
My name is, yeah, nude.
He's satisfied with the human anatomy in there or otherwise.
He's one of your girls.
Your friend's girl.
My name's Mark.
I play Haroon Wen, a Warforged monk.
He's kind of a baby.
He doesn't know a lot.
Working on it.
But my false fact is for Lasagna.
And my false fact is that Lasagna actually absorbed its twin in the womb.
Oh, it's.
It's.
I'm going to tell my toy pack with that.
It started off as it, but it absorbed it.
I mean, who knows?
Who knows?
It could be false.
Could be.
It's one of those mysteries, guys.
We might never know.
Literally.
Could it be that one movie about the tumor?
Roll for Ultrasound?
Yeah, Maligma.
Not sponsored.
Maligma?
Yeah.
Maligma does.
I don't get it.
You're about to.
She should call me.
All right, we should move on before this comes a different kind of fog tank.
Maybe we're in the middle of something.
No, hold on.
What socks you got on?
My socks, they are my.
I mean, we did discuss it earlier, but I want to get another take on it.
So what do you got for us?
I'm wearing my Odie socks, and they're yellow.
They also match my tie-dyed yellow.
So for people who don't know who that is, go ahead and explain to them who that is.
Odie's the dog.
Garfield's best friend.
Who he hates, who he loves.
Odie the boy, though.
Odie the cute one.
I would say Garfield is the dog he's best friend.
I don't know about other people.
No, Garfield loves Odie.
And Nermal smokes fucking Newports.
Nermal's a member of the society.
That's why he smokes motherfucking Newports.
Nermal, bitch.
All right, well anyways, I'm gone to the DM, I'm their god.
Praise God.
Praise dog.
Praise the Sog boys.
The worst dogs.
The soggiest.
It's war dogs, damn it.
Hey, English is my first language, right?
Neither?
It's also not Ben's.
So we have our fun fact that I'm making for you guys.
Let's see, I've got everyone except for Frankie.
Frankie.
Frankie isn't a thing for flowers.
Hell yeah, baby.
Re-kind.
I don't know.
I get it.
I got it.
He's a huge fan of the elaborate.
I don't know.
What?
You like green flowers too?
Of course.
I'm a little fake.
I'm a big fake.
Oh, a big fake?
Looks like not.
He could say that because he's one of those.
On a scale of one to fake.
Extremely fake.
Like nine and a half most of the day.
Okay.
Ten in order probably.
You stay wild, man.
Stay wild.
I'm going to go wild and out for it.
Yeah, I'm going to start a publication called Faze Gone Wild.
Faze Gone.
Non-sponsored.
Maybe.
I mean, knowing none of this information, you probably already know.
Let's not Google that.
Let's do a recap.
All right, boys.
Who wants to do the recap for inspiration?
I'll do it.
Ooh.
Ryan.
Yeah, you mean anywhere.
All right, so.
Oh, sorry, Hardin.
Yeah.
Thank you.
You're welcome.
So last time on Dragon Ball, we were in town.
We woke up and we're like, all right, we need breakfast.
We ate a whole lot of breakfast.
And then we figured, all right, well, we need a job.
We went to go shop around and also to find a job.
And then we found that there is a caravan that's going to about where we need to go in the Toledo Plains.
And we're going to be transporting some goods.
We're going to be guarding smugglers.
We also found out those smugglers are goblins, which, of course, all of us love to death.
We just emphasis on the death.
False fact.
Yeah.
This was a fun false fact brought to you by the Feywild.
But yeah, we had some time to kill earlier on in the day.
So I asked everybody as soon as we're done shopping what we want to do.
And of course, Nick says to the bar and to the bar we go.
We run into some dwarves and get into a bit of a drinking competition.
Next to us specifically.
And homeboy outdrank three dwarves, which is insane.
And frankly, not to be confused with Frankie.
That's my sister.
Yeah, that's Frankie.
He's right behind you.
You're right.
He was not absorbed in the film.
But thank goodness.
He's taking a drink, damn it.
I didn't mean to do him like that for real.
Is that what you said when you did it?
It was just a quick drink.
After that, we were out and about for a bit.
And Nick's gets real messy.
We end up meeting up with the goblins.
There's some funny door shenanigans.
And we see that the goblins are hauling a caravan or a single cart full of goods.
I don't remember the name for them, but essentially dinosaurs that are leading the carts.
And there are some runes, arcane runes.
There's something written in arcane or arcana.
Scrawled across the wagon.
And they all take shifts coming off and on and sleeping.
We come off and on.
And then last we left off, it was, I believe it was the morning when this was going on, Jared?
Yeah.
We were just waking up to ash and dust, slapping our nuts.
And there was a big old thing in the middle of the road.
It was a big old log in the middle of the road.
And now we're in combat.
And that was the last time on Dragon Ball.
Oh, damn.
You did forget one thing though.
Sick flip.
You can't get in the log and have him flipping over.
Harun, you had a letter.
Yeah, a sealed one.
Oh yeah, you're right.
I thought you meant another letter.
I was like, are you trying to tell me now?
No.
I was, Seoffra stuck a letter to my forehead saying that I was her favorite and that she gave me money for a new bag of gold.
And she's off doing some other shenanigans, I guess.
But didn't leave the gold with you.
Yeah, didn't leave the gold and didn't leave the bag.
Also, I rolled for rage.
I didn't keep that gold because I thought we were going to start combat.
No, yeah, you were teleporting.
I had to remain in teleportation.
Oh yeah, I had to teleport and written down.
Okay, I just wanted to make sure I still had that.
I still have it.
I have it down.
It's Harun at 22, Nyx at 20, Frankie at 17, Bad Guys at, I don't know, and then Yharis at 12, and Lazarn.
So yeah, you were last.
But you still have 17, 10 rounds of infigants.
Yes, we do begin, and you do begin the inspiration, my friend, part of you.
I do.
Yharis.
So we start off with them kind of shitting themselves.
Harun, you are on deck.
You did do that cool flip and landed between them.
So they are about like 10 feet on each side of you.
Is there only six?
Because you said originally I had only seen six.
Yeah.
Okay.
So just making sure, you know, another perception check to see if there's more.
We're going to be on combat right now, ain't you?
Okay, okay.
Got it.
It's the end of the order.
Got it.
I think I'm going to hit this one.
I'm going to go to him and hit him with my shorts or...
24.
Oh, 24 if I can get.
Javad there.
All right.
I'll do the damage.
I got an eight.
Seven.
All right.
And I get two ticks.
I'm going to hit him again with the shorts or...
Oh, that's bad.
I'm going to hit him again with the shorts or...
Oh, that's bad.
That one is 11.
Nope, that's not it.
Okay.
What are we fighting here?
Is this just random human or humanoid looking people?
Yeah, so when you jump down, you do see like it's two human looking people.
Oh, I never said I jumped down.
No, he did.
I'm talking about Harun.
Yeah.
I've never seen him yet, but Harun knows you can see two human people.
They're both...
Well, he assumes they're humans and you know.
That's true.
That's why I was like just humanoid.
I just want to make sure it's like weird looking people.
Yeah, because of the shapes.
And I want to do bonus action patient defense.
Okay.
Smart, smart.
And I'm going to try to like work my way around him, but without leaving melee to go this
way.
Smart.
All right, smart man.
All right.
And then that is Harun's move.
Next is your turn.
How far does your teleport take you?
30 feet.
30 feet, okay.
So is that a bonus action when you use your...
Yeah, bonus.
Okay, just want to make sure.
But it is your turn, so.
All right, I'm going to teleport behind the other guy.
This is you, right?
Yep.
Okay.
Yep, that one?
That works, yeah, because that's what you do.
Yeah.
Cool.
I'm going to hit him.
Do what you do best, yeah.
13?
Nope, he's not hitting.
Okay, I'm going to try to hit him again.
Okay, so that's going to be 25.
Oh, that hits.
Okay.
Six plus eight.
That, it took a lot of it, and he looks like he's pretty fucked up.
All right, that's my turn.
All right, it is now Frankie's turn.
Three.
Let's get flying up in the air a little bit in front of the cart.
Can I see those four that are further back there?
They were kind of, wait, when you, when you saw, you pointed them out when you saw them.
I did point them out.
Yeah.
That's when them two actually woke up when I was kind of talking, like yelling at them
as they get out of the way.
Yeah, what were your quick reception checks, see if you can still see them?
21.
Yeah, you see them.
Okay.
Do they all look like outfitted the same, you know, same type of equipment?
Yeah, they all look like they're, you know, like crossbows, radionium, something.
Okay.
It's like probes on them, so you can't really see much else.
Gotcha.
I'm going to jab out my finger at the one back, oh, that one.
That one?
Yeah.
Yeah, and I'm going to say, hey, hey you, is it true what they say about your mother?
All these guys have been telling me about it, and I'm going to cast enemies abound.
And he is taking an intelligence saving throw, he's a DC 60.
I rolled a 15.
Fantastic.
Yeah, so he has lost the ability to distinguish friends from foe, regarding all creatures
they can see as enemies until its spell ends, and each time it takes damage it can repeat
the saving throw.
So, whatever it chooses another creature as a target, it must choose a target at random
so among the creatures it can see within range of the attack spell or other abilities it's
using, and they'll all provoke an opportunity attack spell.
Oh, that's all right.
Is that specifically a bard spell or was that from your bard sorcerers, rolling wizards?
Okay.
I was curious to know if it was one of those schools of magic that bards get after a while?
Oh, no, no, no, that's different.
All right, yeah, so is that all you're doing, Frankie?
Then I'll go ahead and just fly back to the cart and be like, my work here is done.
I have a player on the field.
My job is done.
That's a classic Frankie move.
All right, so there is no bad guys turn.
They are going to turn and swing on you since you're next to Harun.
They're going to swing on you.
Does a 15 hit?
The spin?
Either way.
Oh, disadvantage.
It would be a 6.
Yeah, you win.
And then...
You just got a smile on your face?
Does an actual 20 hit next to him?
Oh my God, he had the biggest smile on his face.
Did I see him?
Huh?
Did I see him?
I flew back a little bit in the cart.
Did I see the guy?
There's a log and also a plazaq was standing in front of you.
Okay.
That means 10 damage.
I have resistance damage.
It's a 5.
5 damage, yeah.
It's regular slashing, so it's only 5 damage.
And then the other ones, you see one of the ones in the trees take a shot and then you
see him shoot at one of his friends and miss.
And the other ones are kind of trying to talk to him.
You see them kind of just...
They're arguing.
Can we hear what they're saying?
You see one of them push the other guy out of the tree.
Oh.
Let's see if he survives.
He is still alive.
But the one that I...
Uh huh.
He looked fucked up when he fell.
He's trying to make a save for a game.
What's his name?
Intelligence.
That's one.
Yeah, he's still alive.
He's still pissed.
He's still fucked up.
Now he's mad at her.
Fuck her.
I mean, that's true.
His enemies are his friends.
You guys saw him break the wall out of the tree.
You see him just get back and start pointing at this friend.
It's your friend from the car gun.
Arguing about something in there.
They're not happy.
That's their turn.
That makes it their turn trying to push him out of the tree.
Only one of them is receiving.
That is a worth a turn right there.
That is your turn.
Alright.
So which one of these four would you say is the one that fell?
The one in the back left.
I'm going to target this guy up here in the front left.
And I'm going to shoot him with my bow.
Let's see.
I'm going to be using one of my fire arrows.
So you were in the cart?
Because that's you right over there?
Yeah, this one's me.
I'm just going to be staying at range for this one.
That's a ten hit.
Well, I got horde breakers so I'm going to target the guy next to him.
That is a fifteen hit.
Fifteen does hit.
That's one D8 plus two.
Actually, the arrows give me different damage.
Oh, using your special arrows?
Yeah.
I think it was a D8 on top of the normal that we had on set.
So one D8 and then plus a D8 of fire damage.
That's what I have written down.
Oh, you got your flaming arrows.
Yeah.
So the first one is three.
The second one is six.
All right, and Frankie, what is your request?
I'm sorry, sixteen.
Ah, well we're not going to be using that then.
What was the total damage you said?
Nine total damage.
Let me just look at something real quick.
The guy that I didn't hit, the one in the front left, I'm going to cast Hunter's Mark at the first level.
Smart.
And that will be my turn.
All right, Lozagna, you're finally good.
At the end of the turn over here, Lozagna is going to turn to Y'all Horrors and be like,
I see what you did with the fire there, let me do something.
I'm going to have my staff on the ground and it kind of gets a little emblazed and then I'm going to cast Fireball on the people in the trees.
All right.
Fires, fires, fires, fires.
How many charges are there?
It's three charges and I have ten.
Dude, everyone wouldn't even see this coming from the other side of the log.
Like he's doing his own dodge.
What?
It's a dex date of sixteen.
You do, even the same boat would work.
What the fuck?
Tracer rounds going over your head.
You got a guy.
What?
19, 20, 22 damage.
The one that got hit by the horse's arrow dies from the fire.
The other two are barely alive.
So are the other goblins that are with our thing just like firing them?
Yeah, it still takes out and that guy that was under the intelligence saving throw, he can reroll.
He's on the ground.
He fell out of the tree.
Oh, I thought he would be enveloped because it's sort of like a radius type thing.
But that wouldn't make sense since I'm aiming for the top of the tree.
Also that guy in front, because of Hunter's Mark, he receives an additional d6 damage.
Yeah, he's already dead.
Oh shit.
Yeah, he died.
Oh, was I the one in the front?
Yeah, you had the Hunter's Mark on.
Well, no, I put my Hunter's Mark on this guy.
Oh, the d6?
Yeah.
The Hunter's Mark is only...
Only for you.
Yeah, yeah.
No, I got still alive.
Yeah, he barely lived.
And I mean, did I notice anybody taking any damage at all?
I don't think I did.
So I think that'll just be my turn.
The trees are on fire.
Yeah, but I don't have anything for that right now.
I mean, I took damage without a lot of damage.
Unfortunately, the trees are going to have to be on fire for a bit.
They're a druid.
We're in combat right now.
We're in.
This is the dark horse.
The dark horse.
I think I might try something a little bit different.
I don't know.
I guess not.
Facts.
All right, I'm going to hit him once.
I can sneak for the trees.
I don't want him to shut up.
Okay.
25 and 10 damage on this guy.
And I'm going to give him a spree of blows.
Really give him some blows?
Yeah.
Put the blow in my hand.
You know, I was lied to.
There was never any blowing involved.
I'm going to roll for these two.
God damn it.
This one's for horns.
I got 16 plus 16.
I got 16.
I got 17 plus 723.
Money.
I got 17...
That wasn't the worst hit I'd done in my career.
And I...
Yeah.
And, and he madeimes a, a long time ago.
He always, he always mops me right in.
Best half of the man.
That's actually good.
That was a lot of money.
Let's talk guys.
I'm going to, and I'm between.
Let's talk guys.
We're good.
We're kind of going into six情虎s forever.
Let's do it again.
7.
Plus 7.
23.
23 hits.
As a fundeeee...
That was not good.
He's got a lot of blood from that last hit.
Is that your turn?
Yeah, that's my turn this time.
But I did not do patient defense.
Alright, next.
Alright, let me have the guy in front of me.
That's a 12 hit.
What was that hit?
I teleport behind him.
Bow.
Okay, that's a 24 hit.
24 hits?
Just roll a check.
Behind the knees.
Ooh, nice.
11 plus...
Me.
19.
How do you kill him?
It's kind of my like singer's move at this point.
Chop him down at the knees.
I have my back swing.
I come up and slice him and like cut the torso.
Nice.
Getting grown finishing now.
Yeah.
There's only limited number of ways he can kill a man when you're at his knee level.
He's got his head up, coming down.
Alright, are you done?
That's all my stuff.
Is that your level?
I actually...
I saw him all night that night.
I circled this guy.
Alright.
Franky, it's your turn.
Hey.
You chilling over there?
How's the guy who runs in that something?
He looks pretty hurt.
He's cocked up.
He's cocked up a little.
I'm just gonna gently soar over being like right above Nick's and just take him with my ravier and just try to stab him in the back of his neck.
Like he's not looking at me.
Like a mosquito.
He's definitely not looking.
I like it though.
You missed it.
Go ahead.
Yep.
It's gonna be a 21.
Yeah, I'm dead.
Nice.
Yeah, he's dead when he went left.
Good job, Franky.
Glad I could save you a run.
Yay!
And then I'm just gonna look at all the guys in the trees.
Um, there's two in the trees.
There's one on the floor that's still aiming.
Who is it?
That's the guy who went to the right.
Yeah, that's all I got.
Alright, it is Lee.
Their turn.
You see the one on the floor fire at one of his friends.
And you see the guy in front of him on the right just get head shot at and just fall out of the trees.
Oh my god.
Woo!
Nice.
And then you see the other guy turn and just start booking it out of there.
Wait, so the only guy left is the crazy man right now?
Yep.
So you're saying this guy right here?
Yeah, that guy's dead.
The other guy.
Oh, this guy.
Yeah, that guy's still alive.
The one on the floor is still there and the other one just took off.
He booked it.
He just started.
How fast is it like impossible for me in her room to try to catch up?
Oh, I can still shoot it.
I got a good range.
So he's about from that position he went like another 70 feet.
I feel good about catching up actually.
You're trying to chase him down?
Is it your 25 movement speed?
With my 35 movement speed plus me teleporting 30 feet.
Okay, yeah.
So I feel good about that.
That can definitely slow him down.
Yeah.
Are you going after him?
I'm going to go after him.
Alright, let's see.
He's 70 feet away.
I can catch him.
70 feet from that point is where he's at right now.
So which is about, you would be about 90 to 100 feet.
Alright, that's the one.
We still have the guy that's insane right now.
Yeah.
100 feet.
That's still one charge.
He's going to be that way for another...
Yeah, you'll have to do your job.
Alright.
Damn.
This is a good question because part of me is like, alright, gotta run it away.
Shoot him.
Guy crazy right there.
And I can't use Hordebreaker for this one because they would have to be close.
I think you should let that pass.
Oh, what a great idea.
Get some of that anger out.
I did not think of that.
Target cracked.
Break this Horde.
Oh man.
I'm confident in my friend's ability to take care of the crazy guy.
I'll go ahead and target the one that's running away.
What are you targeting then?
My bow.
What's the range on that?
150 to 600.
Yeah, you were saying he was 90 feet away from him, so the destiny was 160.
Yeah.
So I rolled a 14.
Is that it?
14.
Damn.
Two hits?
No, he doesn't have Hordebreaker.
Yeah, because I can't shoot him again because that only applies to another target that's within five feet.
I thought Rager's not just a stripper.
I currently don't as far as I'm aware.
How many will have to pass through this?
Oh wait, no, yeah, I do have...
Yeah, I do have two attacks.
You're right, I never fucking noticed that.
No, I think you might have just got it with the level up at six.
Five or six, one of the two.
Yeah, you're right.
So, will that in that case, that was...
Never played a Ranger before.
Yeah, no, you're good.
He has a tiny normal range.
Yeah.
Ah!
Walker Texas Ranger.
Walker Texas Harden, alright, let's see.
Oh!
That's a natural.
That's a 27 hit.
Yeah.
Alright, so I'm shooting him with a regular arrow.
I did say that.
So that's 1d8 plus two.
Double that damage.
So that's 2d8 plus two.
Alright, so the first one's three, so that's five.
The second one is five plus two, which is seven.
So I got 12 in total.
Alright.
So instead of doubling the damage, he just rolled the...
He did 2d8 with the fire.
Yeah.
I was just using a regular one.
Alright, yeah.
So you see, this is trying to run away, and you see the arrow shoot him, and he just loses
his footing and just dies.
Just dies over it?
I would say, hell yeah.
Which one?
The guy that was running away.
So this guy was running away, and he just, or no, Horace just sniped him.
Horace just hit that moving moment, the first one goes over that, and he's like...
I got him with this one.
And headshots him on the little button.
I can't look at the face in front of my friends.
It's like right before he loses eyesight of him too, and then he just tumbles over.
It goes in the other ear.
I just figured out the moment.
It's where the little boy's running from the guy in Game of Thrones, and he's sitting there
shooting the arrows at him.
I've actually never seen Game of Thrones, so I wouldn't know that reference.
Me either.
For the way I want to describe the way that it happens is the first arrow impacts a tree
right next to the guy, and then the second arrow just goes straight into the back of his skull
and just fucking face plants forward and skins like a foot.
Nice.
That's it.
It's literally what I did, I was like...
Perfect!
Same way of life, and that will be my turn.
Alright.
Lasagna, is your turn to solo crazy guys with the evening?
Is it possible you guys?
I'm going to try to...
Would I even know...
Would Lasagna even know that he's under some type of spell right now?
Not really.
Alright.
Well then, I'm going to say, I need you to calm down, and I'm going to cast full person on him.
Alright.
Wisdom saving for 060.
Alright, so he is hell.
Do I see any hells?
Yep.
Alright, I'm going to walk up to him.
I'm going to...
I'm going to say...
Lasagna, you've been sick.
I'm just going to be like, I'm going to do this to chill the fuck out.
Because we've got some questions for you now, bud.
And that will be my turn.
Perfect set up.
I'm going to cast guidance on myself.
Oh, actually that's an action.
It says 1A, so that's one action.
Guidance.
That's what it says.
Guidance is also concentration, so you could have that in full person at the same time.
Oh, it is? Oh, shit.
I'm going to do that, because I did not realize that.
Why is that guy first?
It takes off into the woods, you're like, hold on, wait.
I wouldn't have done it, too.
Who's at the top?
That's me.
It's Harun.
And Harun runs at this motherfucker with his manacles so quick.
Which one?
The one that's hell.
Which manacle?
You have the shocking ones and then you have the regular ones.
Does the shocking ones actually do damage?
Yeah.
And I was actually wanting to ask you, what if we changed that to a possibly can be stunned instead of taking damage?
It might make stuns for manacles if you're a super restrained person.
Right, if you fail at the release.
I don't want them to be able to kill themselves.
Right, and that's what I was thinking.
Obviously you don't want somebody to kill themselves if they're being restrained.
True, that's a good one.
We'll do stun, revision, we won't redact the other episode.
No, no, it's fine.
It's just a thought that I have.
So because he's held, I can just put these on, right?
Yeah.
Alright, so then he's just going to zip around in a circle, like snap and everything, and then stand in back once it's set up.
I'll release my little...
He's looking around and he's just like, huh huh huh, he's panicking.
I teleport immediately in front of him because we're two sides of the universe, I still have rage up.
I'm going to literally teleport and lift him up.
Who the fuck are you, what are you doing here?
I'm still raging.
With advantage because I'm still raging.
Oh, I know.
He's being held, so wouldn't that help him out in such a weak position?
He would have to be on the edge.
Nice.
25.
Yeah, you pick him up and he's just, he pissed himself.
He's like, oh my god, who do you work for?
He's like, we were just trying to rob some goblins, we didn't know you guys were with them.
I'm going to slap him.
Big dry look like a goblin.
He just cries.
They told us you guys were just goblins.
I'm going to drop him, get your broke ass out of here.
No, run in his pockets.
Oh yeah, run in your pockets.
I start reaching through his pockets.
I pull his pants down, I'm like literally ripping his pants off naked at this point and then checking his pockets individually.
All right, you just tear him up.
These guys just dig it out.
Can I like rip his shirt so it's now a skirt?
Only a string check, see how strong you can turn.
Honestly, I'm trying to cover this man back up again.
There's a lot going on.
Oh no, I think that's a three.
Yeah, you try to pull his shirt, you're just not tearing it.
Now he's naked and you're just pulling on his shirt.
I'm just trying to cover my pants.
We need to pull him.
Yeah, Reggie just told me back going, guys, I don't think we're attempting to do what you guys are thinking.
I want to see what's in his pockets.
You have Dagger and five silver on him.
All right, I'm going to grab him by his shirt and hold up five silver.
You broke, bitch.
This is all you got?
Where'd you come from?
Where do you stay?
Where your home is at?
Are we going to comment on that?
Yeah, are you guys going to comment?
Roll me an intimidation with advantage.
While he's doing that, I'll just say, hey, let me help out with this a little bit too while we're doing this and I'll zone of truth with him.
Zone of truth.
That's a safe for all of us, right?
Oh, dirty 20.
Yeah.
It's an aura thing.
Everybody roll a wisdom saving throw.
Wisdom.
What's the save?
It's a 15-foot radius.
It is a charisma saving throw.
I'm assuming a six of them pass.
No.
You said charisma?
Yeah, it's charisma.
I thought it was wisdom.
Also, a dirty 20.
I got an eight.
You got an eight?
Bunch of DC?
I failed.
I got a 13.
He's a little in the past.
This has nothing to do with me.
No, my god, the advantage against it.
I don't think it's a charm.
I was going to say.
So, an affected creature is aware of the spell and can thus avoid answering questions to which it would normally respond with a lie.
Such creatures can be invasive and answer as long as it remains within the boundaries of the truth.
I'm just like 15 feet back, so I'm not going to roll.
You're going to roll on all of us?
God, it's just centered on him.
So, I'm just like, hey guys, you can just take a few steps back.
Oh, then yeah, Y'all Horace might be okay.
He's safe.
Okay, yeah, well I am holding him up.
I'm checking in and I'm asking the question, where's the money at?
Where do your people stay?
How did you know about this?
We were just told there was a Care Man coming through.
We just wait here to rob people.
I told you.
Yeah, I put my hand up.
I'm about to slap him again.
Don't tell me who.
We have a camp nearby.
Where?
It's like, it's one direction around me.
Well, you know what?
I'm going to slap him.
Bitch, do I look like a compass?
It sounds weird.
Show us where it is and you get to live.
Does that sound like a good deal?
What does this guy look like?
He's just like a human.
He's a man.
Yeah, he's the man.
He's such a man.
No, he doesn't wear pants anymore.
He's cool, but he doesn't wear pants.
He's a piss dick man.
We got to be clear when we're telling Nick to rub pockets.
I mean, he could just physically rip the pockets off.
I'm coming for myself.
I'm great.
I'm not taking it lightly.
I'd like to try to take his pants and put a bandana on.
He ripped them off.
I'd rather be 20 for this.
I tried.
Let's see if you turn half.
I'm used to tears.
I'm not going to be able to take a good clasp of those good clasp bad clasps.
You can try to take a pair of pants off of that body.
I'm going to lift this man up now that we have him nowhere.
I have rope.
I'm going to tie a rope to his manacles.
I'm going to kick him in his ass and walk and I'm going to hold the rope as he walks
to the camp.
One thing we've got to make sure is we've got a little carry away here.
We do have a caravan we've got to take care of.
If it happens to be in the way, if it happens to be in the same direction we're going, we
should definitely take it out.
All right, so then I tie him to the back of the cart for him to sit in.
And he's just walking along with us?
He's pointing into the wood.
You guys have to trail into the wood.
Yeah, I'm on that.
Never mind then.
Then I just tie him to the back of the caravan and I'm going to make him walk behind us and
take out for a while.
I'd like to check the bodies for loose.
Let's see how many bodies are still intact.
There was one that was burnt to a crisp.
This one was technically still, he was running away, still alive.
After casting another truth, the people's eyes are off me.
I'm like, got the guys furthest away from everybody.
You're next to one already.
You're going to dig through the pockets in the zone?
No, the one he's next to right now.
So there's two bodies near you and then the...
So what do I roll?
Restigation.
Yeah, restigation.
And you can roll restigation too if you go next to the one.
I think you know what?
The zone of truth is in concentration so that's where it starts for 10 minutes.
Just hang it out.
15.
Distract him.
You found three silver in the first pocket.
These are all strapped.
What did you roll for restigation?
I got a...
How many arrows do we think this guy has had?
You found a silver in that guy's pocket.
Because we know they had arrows for these bolts.
So most of them got burnt in the fireball and then there's some that when the guy sells
he burrows most of his stuff.
These guys are all either got toasted or thrown out of trees.
There are the two guys that were behind the log.
They had swords.
So they got some old, like, they had some shitty swords.
Some old shitty swords?
Yeah, you wouldn't want them.
They're not magical or anything.
They're not magical.
These guys look like they've just been living out here.
They're just...
Alright.
They're bad bad.
I'm gonna...
I'm probably gonna look over at Nick's and be like, Nick, this is not going the same
way.
We should probably let Homi go.
But definitely take everything from him so that they know not to come talk to us.
He already has nothing but shirt.
Take the fucking shirt.
Yeah.
Okay, if he tells me that I'm gonna literally rip the shirt off.
Just palm in and just rip it straight off.
I'm gonna step...
Hold on a damn minute.
We're going a bit far with this.
As he says that I'm gonna rip off the shirt.
So Hars is right, I think letting him walk is a danger.
So an effective message would just, you know, he just lays down and I'm gonna throw some
Airclubs, sleeps in the middle of the road.
Anybody who comes along...
...leave a little message to him.
Sleep and I get ready to jump.
Not like that!
I already started to move him away from you.
I'm holding him with a rope.
I'm no...
I'm holding a Strength check right now, both of you.
He's all tuckered up.
Poo-doo!
Twenty-five.
Oh my god.
I don't think I'm going to beat it.
Uh, yeah, seventeen.
Damn it, it'll be like, let go!
No, no, no.
Okay, so it's dangerous for him to go.
Why don't we just carry him for a bit?
Once we get a good amount of distance away, I cut the rope and let him wander off.
That's fine.
I'm going to approach the guy.
He's like, just let me go, man, I want you to please let me go.
Shut up for a second.
The man's talking.
What did you do before this?
Before what?
Before you started being bad at robbing goblins.
I mean, the war ruined most of our products here, and...
Your what?
Our wards.
Sorry, I was taking a sip of water.
I also am trying to hold on to that rope even though I'm not winning, and I'm just going,
whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Oh no, that is not good.
I think that's deep.
Yeah, you just kind of start freaking out and just start running away.
How far away is he?
He's about like, how far do you see me?
I'm letting go of the rope or am I trying to run with it?
No, you're running away.
Now!
Because he ran away with the rope in his hand.
No, he let go and ran.
No, he didn't roll a pose.
He's too strong for it.
You want me to just take care of this?
What's your movement?
A whole person.
Yeah.
If he starts running away...
He just starts sprinting.
A whole person.
I'll have to see how fast you get in there.
Before he...
Yeah, I don't think it's...
What's your movement?
Well, you probably wouldn't see me start saying war, war.
Yeah, and I heard war.
I know what's going down.
Yeah, and you see him start running.
Yeah.
It's 60 feet, so that's more than his movement.
I'll say maybe the light here.
Roll me a wisdom saving throw.
That's a six.
Oh yeah, that's a six.
I'm rolling over a bad guy.
Yeah, so he's held.
You see him just...
I'll just walk over to Harun and then just start calming him down.
I'm going to run over to Harun.
As he says, I'm going to grab the guy.
What was that?
I'm going to grab the guy.
Why would you say that to my friend?
He didn't know and Korran preserved me.
He just like...
You were a farmer.
Yeah, the war destroyed most of these lands in this area.
I can stop saying that word with a W.
Say that word one more time.
He just said it like he only knows...
He said word.
I said word.
Yeah.
I'm a little stank on that.
You say that word one more time, I'm going to cut your dick off.
I'm going to say to him in Elvish.
Do you speak Elvish?
What?
Fuck.
All right.
Well, between you and I, I understand.
Do yourself a favor.
Stop doing this.
You're not good at it.
Go back to growing whatever it is that you were before.
Yeah.
It's a great thing.
I can't do it.
It's a great thing.
I can't do it.
I'm going to do it.
Go back to growing whatever it is that you were before.
He's just starting to run away.
Hey, can you let me go, please?
Okay.
I'm going to go back to the camera.
I'm going to tell all your friends about what happened here.
I'm going to talk about the last time that happened.
You're going to shake yourself off.
And then we cast your suggestion on Mark.
And say, wisdom saving throw.
I rolled the dice.
Okay, cool.
Because I was totally ready to rock his world.
Separate parts.
Oh, shit.
I'm going to throw the dice and that one too.
For the next eight hours, he's about that life.
Okay.
I get my rope back and that's up to you.
Am I calling down that?
Yeah.
Okay.
I'm like, why did you say that?
I'm like, unlock him from the shackles and take him back and brush him off.
I'm going to try to take an extra pair of pants I have and tie it around like an ascot.
He'll get himself handled.
He'll figure it out.
He's zoned out.
His hope was you're going to see him with pants like an ascot butt naked.
You see him just start poking it into the woods.
Actively shitting.
Well, no, no, no.
That was after he had lowered his message.
He had dried the poison.
I was a little silly there for a second.
You guys see him?
He had just taken it off his range of the woods.
I looked to the goblins in the cart.
All right, come out.
I got a little bit of a
Where do you think you're going?
Oh, cool.
Cool.
All right.
Are you not supposed to fight him too?
You guys look like you had to handle him.
I mean, that guy just cut a man's knees off.
I'm going to look at like those on them.
Are they supposed to fight too?
I mean, technically we were the higher Hale.
I think they were just...
No, the other goblins were actually also getting to the same place.
They were just using the claw for the sense of transition.
I mean, they had his head on the floor.
They weren't going to be able to take him down.
It was just like, oh, he's a good guy.
I mean, I'm just a bad guy.
It's like, we're going to get him killed.
also getting to the same place.
They're just using the pops of the sense transition.
I mean, they have bozo, they have a crossbow as well, but...
They're the same as us.
They are not the same as us.
They are not even in the slightest.
Not even a little bit.
They pay equal.
Not even close.
No.
See this beautiful, beautiful, dark, under dark-born skin?
Instead of that gross green shit.
Not equal.
And I lean down towards you.
Stile back.
I agree with you, but we don't need to say it in front of them.
I thought they couldn't read or understand first one.
It was incompetent.
And I say in Elvish,
You can speak to me like this, you know?
I forgot how to speak Elvish.
I say to you also still in Elvish,
You know how to speak. You know this.
He's just yelling at you in another language,
You're like, I don't know what you're saying.
I'm like, I don't know, bro, I forgot.
Languages halfway through us knowing each other.
Varun leans over now to Next and says,
He's not talking about money.
I mean, that's the only thing he knows.
And I'll say in common, he is right, I wasn't, but...
We'll figure it out.
Let's just get back on the road.
I hop on to whatever the part of the card is where you just chill.
And I'm just gonna lay out there.
That chill spot.
So you look at your surroundings, like these woods,
Some of the trees are alive, some of them looked like they've been scorched already.
Some of them are turned on fire.
Now I remember. I remember now.
That's what I was forgetting to do.
Since all that shit's been going down.
The trees are still on fire. How's you guys been talking?
I do have a cantrip called control slings.
Now it's only, it can extinguish a flame within a 5 feet cube.
It's gonna take me a little bit to control it, but I can definitely do it.
Is it engines first?
Fireball is like what, 24 radios?
So yeah, I'll just be kind of like, well, we're dealing with that.
Using control flame to kind of extinguish that.
If that doesn't work, there's another spell that I'd rather not use that one.
So it's a cantrip, right?
It's a cantrip, yes.
So you're gonna be out there for a while?
Eh, I mean it's one action.
So it's only 6 seconds to extinguish 5 feet of flames.
True, but these are dry trees that have been actively on fire since the other time.
So the fires are spreading more and more.
Can I roll to see how well I do?
I'm gonna let you roll a D20 and then depending on how well I roll, it's a natural 20.
Oh my god.
Alright, so you see him, it takes him about 10-15 minutes of putting these flames on.
He gets them out, you see him just working his way.
He's like, alright guys, fucking exhausted.
There's no way passive perception will let that shit slide.
Yeah, that was something I was immune to do.
I just totally forgot because we got carried away and the whole threatening the guys.
You're like, well we'll deal with the fire later.
We gotta make sure this guy gets his dick out first.
I was worried about the fire.
Nick was not tripping about that.
You see some of the other trees, this place looks like it's ravaged.
Like the road, some of the trees are alive, some of them are burnt.
Some of them look like they've been torn down by something.
And it looks like a, this place has been pretty fucked up.
It was pretty ravaged.
Alright, are we getting the show on the road?
Mmhmm.
The goblins are, they start walking and then one of them turns and looks at you and says,
I didn't think someone your size would be that strong.
I'm strong as shit, bro.
I saw you cut a man's leg off.
Yeah, I just do that every day as far as you're a pyros.
My bosses are good, guys.
Yeah, no, it's, it makes me different.
I'm just built differently.
Are you that guy?
I'm that guy.
I'm that guy, bro.
Harun looks at the goblins talking.
Who's in the car?
I'm in the car.
I'm most likely gonna be in the back.
I thought he was at the front like with the stairs.
Yeah, so who's gonna be out like, cause the people in the car are gonna be able to see outside because they're gonna be getting like that.
I'm walking.
I'm inside.
I'm chilling on the bench next to that.
Okay.
I was gonna, sorry, I was just gonna say if I can see him like if he's up front, but with Nicks, and I can see him and you're talking about that, I'm gonna say, maybe he thinks you're the same goblin.
Right, not goblin.
No, I'm saying to the goblin, like saying that maybe you think he's the same goblin that Harun.
No.
It's like you thought all the goblins were the same.
Yeah.
I'm just sitting there chilling like casually flexing like yeah, I'm just feeling different.
Yeah.
Yeah, it's just the way I am.
Slowly start flexing on all of that.
Yeah, I'll have to go pick this.
You're like wow, down here it's like it's pretty brisk mornings.
No, my trip's coming up.
Yeah.
So you guys are just walking.
Yeah, I'm gonna try to take a nap.
Yeah, you can go in the back and take a nap if you want.
That's where Lazogna is.
Lazogna, you see Nyx come over and lay down and you go out taking a spot.
I mean, I feel like there's enough room for everybody up there.
Yeah, me and Frankie are in there.
That's like one person between the two of us combined.
I'm not taking up a lot of space.
Yeah, so you got one there with your cargo.
What is the cargo?
It's a big old box.
Can I just take a look at the box?
I don't want to touch it, I just want to see what's on the outside of the box.
So it's just a giant wooden box.
It doesn't have any sort of lanes in there or anything.
Is the Goblins in the...
There's two of them sitting next to him, yeah.
That's curious.
There was the one that was talking to Nyx about him cutting Amanda's legs off.
It's pretty scary.
How's the weather?
It's actually pretty nice when we're here.
It's pretty chilly.
This is about late mornings, right down to the morning.
It's a two-pronged mine DM.
Oh, is that a thing?
I feel like I've never really ran into a weather situation before.
That is a good one.
I know, but I got to look forward to it.
I don't know.
Well, Nyx is just going to be resting up.
Yeah, go ahead and roll over your head and check her room.
Shit, this is going to be bad now.
You got it.
You're a wise man.
Easily.
Perception...
Okay, 17.
Yeah, everything's fine.
Yeah, you guys just face off the rest of the day just walking undepeded.
Undepeded.
Yeah, it's getting towards nighttime.
The Goblin says we're going to keep traveling through night two.
Is it because of my switch shifts?
I figured I'd...would you say I got my four hours of rest?
Yeah, you would've been...actually, we go and take one long rest per day.
Oh, yeah, you're right.
So you're going to have to wait until nighttime to actually take a rest.
Okay.
You have to take a short rest and do damage.
I didn't take any damage.
Did anybody?
I did. I took five damage.
I'm a monk.
They were expecting a well-armed...
I had one hit.
It was almost flawless.
Well, since I haven't had a nap, I'll probably still just stay up and take a watch.
Yeah, I'll still be up to just scoping things out.
Bo at the ready, of course, looking mean and yellow.
Yeah.
All right.
So yeah, so the rest of your night goes by unabashedly.
So you guys just kind of travel along about two straight days to travel, and nothing really bad happens.
As you're walking through, you just do see...this place is war torn, not that you're here to war.
But you do see these fields that are just blighted.
There's just a lot of dry fields.
What looked like a huge, pass by bunch of old structures, looked like they were once homes.
This place looks like it was just...because you guys are on the outskirts of this area,
it looks like these places were really ravaged.
We have really cool brewery and Wilson's son.
Well, if I like flowers a lot, I have a shrewd craft, so I think I'd be making some flowers blossom here and there for fun.
It's about 30 foot too, so I can just be like, oop, oop.
Can I do a perception check to see if there was something that happened?
Yeah, you can check out the area.
You said it's blighted, right?
Yeah.
Like the area itself?
Like some areas, there's a crop going, it's like...
Because you look at different areas where different types of battles are happening.
Oh, okay.
I just want to kind of see what this could have possibly been from.
Yeah, but I want to write an arcana check.
I want to write an arcana check.
Some of these weren't natural.
Do I see him check it out?
Yeah, you see him kind of checking the earth.
Yeah, I look at it.
You're like, do you want to?
Is it magical in nature?
Yeah, I actually do have inspiration.
I'm actually going to read it.
Oh, yeah, he wants to.
How are you doing, guys?
Just trying to check out the terrain out here to see what happens.
Whatever the magical ones are, I got 25.
Yeah, if you know that you see all kinds of crazy...
If you listen so slower, you can tell that people are using powerful magic attacks.
And you see areas where it's just looking dry and burned from powerful magic.
So you know that there's a big battle around the area.
These are like scars from magical attacks.
I've seen stuff like this in the battlefields.
This used to be one.
I see that the north didn't get spared either.
What did he do?
I got 25.
25, yeah.
Mine was 24, I'm scared if there was anything more.
No, yeah, so you guys know this place is ravaged and it was decimated.
You can see where it will look like old crop fields.
You can see what old farmhouses were there.
That's what that echo was.
That's what it was, wasn't it?
I gesture over to the houses that used to be houses.
Everybody lived over there.
So I lived where and I don't live either.
Just piss on random live food houses.
It went out into a field settlement on some houses.
You said someone lived here, fold them.
You're like, fold them.
Frank, we still got all that blues with us.
I hope we don't stop while you're on this.
We should just catch up.
While we are on this.
I think I see him making a switch to your area.
Gives you some speed.
I don't think people can get with this.
So while we're all together and we're walking through here,
especially in this type of change of terrain,
I'm going to cast Pass Without a Trace,
which gives all of us a plus 10 to specifically stealth checks.
Oh, hell yeah.
On top of anything you got going.
Yeah, personally.
Did you say something or did we notice a difference?
Well, there would be a change.
There is a, you can't see it.
It's like a veil of shadows kind of mask kind of going around me
because I'm casting it on myself.
So it would be like 30 feet around me.
Okay.
Yeah, so you guys are all pretty stealthy.
The goblins turn to Nyx and Nyxay.
Are you the leader?
Yes, yes, I'm the same with the indiscriminate.
Do we hear this?
Yeah.
Not even a little bit.
No.
People tend to look up to me for guidance.
Oh, look up to you.
I have to walk up and look down and be like, oh, we love that.
I'm going to jump up and to be taller than that.
Oh, I'm going to be...
If you do that.
If you do that, Maroon is just going to do a flip in the air.
I'm going to jump up to stand on L'Zhong'a's shoulders.
All right, are you going to let him stand on top of you?
I mean, L'Zhong'a probably wouldn't have seen it coming,
so probably not.
All right, go ahead and roll me an athletics.
What is that?
It's athletics.
No, it's athletics.
Oh, really?
He hasn't changed his shit.
He's like, no, bro, no, no, no.
Don't do that to me.
Because if it's athletics, it's 16.
Are you opposing at all?
Yeah, we'll see.
All right, roll me an strength to try to just knock him away from you.
Can it be acrobatics to try to get out of the way?
Yeah, go ahead.
If it's better than fracking back, then roll me an athletics.
Yeah, it's better for acrobatics.
Perfect, go ahead.
I'll let you do some acrobatics to get out of the way.
You try to kind of jump and push him out of the way.
I'm going to four?
If it was athletics, it would have been a two.
I should try to jump out of the way,
but he's just kind of tripping on himself,
making it easier for you to get on top of him.
Yeah, look, an uptum to me.
He's just like, what's up?
What are you guys thinking?
Four?
No, no, no, it would have been four,
but I have a minus one to strength.
Oh, my God.
My acrobatics is plus one.
Okey-dokey.
Yeah.
Strength index is not my thing.
Yeah, so you've got him just getting on top of him,
and it's like, so which one of you is in charge?
I'm the favorite.
What about Bethany?
We're all kind of in charge.
So they'll just turn Nicks up.
I saw you chop a man's legs off,
so I'm going to assume you're in charge.
Good, correct assumption.
Correct assumption.
I'm going to put Nicks on their shoulders, whoever said that.
I'm okay with it, as long as I'm on his shoulders.
Is that on all of his shoulders?
Yeah, because I'm standing on him.
Because I'm beneath him, literally.
You see him just like, barely like, what the fuck?
Yeah.
So he's got a question for me, as I look to rush him down.
He's like, oh, we've got to put him under the trap
before we get to the boat.
We've got to what?
Another day before we get to the boat.
Uh-huh.
And then we've got to, and then we'll be a few days out
before we're going to stop.
Okay.
Yeah, so while you're telling him.
Yeah, well that's the special thing.
Yeah, tell me.
And I look at him.
He's our logistics coordinator.
I say, I won't stand on you.
I'm the smartest one here.
That's a lie.
I say in Elvish, oh, that's fucking hilarious.
I know smart, I know logistics.
Are you coming on the boat with us too, or?
We were just hired to get you to your location.
Yeah, which means we're going on the boat.
Where are you going?
Yeah, where's this boat heading to?
What's our game to the card?
There's a reason why it's being...
Oh, then I guess we are getting on the boat.
Yeah.
We're going to have our boats.
I like boats.
Some people called me a captain back in the day.
No, they didn't.
I don't know them that well.
I'm not striking a little bit.
You're right, no one called him that.
You were a captain in the war?
No, he was not.
Don't be saying that word around here.
Everyone?
Didn't we tell you about the saying the W word around here?
Oh, he just looks...
That's 22.
Yeah, he's like, what?
Oh.
I'm like, hey.
We use cinemagors, if you know what that word means, conflict.
During the conflict is what we're going to call our...
During the great disagreement, I led many of men.
You were definitely a part of the unit in which we served in.
Yeah, many men looked up to me in that unit.
You named that man?
You say it as if that matters.
We were smugglers.
Procurement specialists, make sure you get that right on the list.
No, they were smugglers.
I'm going to try to take Nick and put him on the ground.
That was a bad one.
He's the guy who got dispelled because you were too strong.
I didn't get up.
Yeah, I would have looked you up and take you off of that person.
If you looked me up, otherwise I would just taste it.
You can't show a reaction otherwise I'll cry.
I'm like, it's not good.
I'm like, yeah, we're going to get on the boat then.
So we have a day until we get to the boat, and then two days on the boat.
Hopefully we make it there.
Bandits usually want support sometimes because caravans get targeted a lot.
That's why we're here.
Is this a public transport boat or is it just one big enough for us?
It's actually big enough for all of us here.
It's more of a passenger thing, but they do carry cargo and we may need to arrange things.
So we will be taking just the package with us, correct?
No, we're taking the whole caravan because then we still have a few more days to travel.
But just in case we run into any more.
We've been lucky.
Maybe you scared them off, but sometimes we'll run into extra bandits out here.
In areas like this, multiple gangs are bound to happen.
They normally fight each other more than they target actual caravans, from what I've seen.
But there's no creature that we cannot fell.
I know what that means, but we can kill a lot of motherfuckers.
I noticed that.
I don't know big words, but I do know death.
I know big words.
I don't really know.
They're like, same, we don't know a big word either.
Yeah, I killed it.
I killed one of the sons.
Alright, well then for about a day out, I'm going to rest up and those who are more inclined to catch sneaky folks should watch out.
And I'm going to lay down to go to sleep.
I want to try to sneak more so alongside the caravan if you let us know that.
I'll be creeping.
Just kind of go through here a little bit more quietly.
Are we rolling ourselves or are we just watching?
Alright, go ahead and roll still with yourself.
Right, I need an advantage.
I'm going to be just inside the caravan but like looking out.
Plus 10.
Oh, you got it.
So it's a nat 20, but with the plus 10 and my own max, I'm going to be at 37.
You melt into the shadows.
I got a dirty 20.
Oh, shit.
I got a 16.
I rolled a 5 and it still turned into a 16.
Thank God for the pacific tricks.
Yeah, for real.
Yeah, the goblins rolled 90.
Real stealthy shit.
Well, I thought you would.
You didn't sit chilling in the back.
I was chilling in the caravan.
You're sleeping.
I'm actually sleeping.
I'm all for snore.
I'm still, yeah.
I'm kind of thinking like I'm laying back.
You're literally stealthy how loud and boisterous you're going to be.
The lower it is, the more you have sleep apnea.
I just think that's the sleep apnea that has without a trace.
The only thing that helps with sleep apnea is that has without a trace.
That is a 25.
Yeah, you have a 25.
Holy moly.
What were you using with yourself?
A 37.
Or a 920, whatever you go with.
I think I got the lowest at 16.
Yeah, I got a 26.
Yeah, you guys are all pretty stealthy.
Frankie turns into a gentle breeze.
You guys look back and there's like some shadows in there.
It's kind of dark in there so you don't know where Frankie is,
but he's just blending into the shadows.
I've seen a black cat walk at night.
It's basically the same thing.
If I really can get a sense that I am completely hidden from everybody,
I do have a message so I can put my fingers up to people and speak in their mind.
Yeah, so you know you're hidden.
Everyone's kind of looking around like, eh.
But people that have the high also hidden, do you still see them,
or do you have to get a percentage of sleep?
I don't know, but I do know that I can probably hang with the goblins in here.
So if they're at work, it's a 25.
Oh, dude, I'm going to be talking to his head the whole night.
Yeah.
Why are you saying that?
The goblins are, there's still two goblins guarding the cargo package.
Yep, then I'm chilling.
Yeah, Nick's asleep next to them.
This is the conscious look I have and they still look a little scared.
They saw what he did.
He was in positive affirmation so they could turn around.
He was responsible.
He was working on his inner issues.
Who's keeping watch?
I'll be outside.
100% protection check.
That's going to be 20, 30, 20 for me.
22.
Yeah.
And that is going to be a 15 for me.
You don't see it, but you two saw what looks like lantern light through some of the woods,
but kind of moving in the opposite direction, you guys.
It looks like you guys see multiple lanterns in the woods.
Opposite direction?
Yeah, but they're not moving close to you.
They're kind of walking.
Looks like they're in lights walking through the woods.
I'm just going to kind of clock that and just definitely keep it in mind,
but make sure that they're not getting closer to us.
Do I kind of see what it is at all, or is it just lantern light?
That's all I see.
You can see lantern.
It's dark out, but you can just see lantern lights kind of behind the trees.
So it's like a forest kind of, like there are trees.
Like I said, there's like a mix of some of that.
Would you say grassland then?
Because I have a natural explorer.
Kind of.
It was before the war.
Now it's a...
I'm just kidding.
Sorry, how far distance-wise are lanterns?
Probably like 70, 80 feet.
Then I'm going to stealthily go that way and kind of just like...
hand signals for I'll be right back.
Kind of like fly, I don't know, 15 feet up.
Her room was already getting to about like 20 feet in and just listening,
so I don't think he even spotted you doing that.
He's thinking he's being sneaky.
Go ahead and roll me another pre-setting check.
Same with you if you're trying to listen in.
But yeah, that wish, that natural explorer would double my bonus for that since it's under wisdom.
So it technically would have been a 19.
Yeah, see what it's going to do.
Alright, cool.
Where is 14?
That's at 11th for me.
You can't really tell any of the lights because they're kind of at the bottom of the heavens.
The trees are kind of in the way of you, so you can't really see them.
You'll see them kind of walking through it.
Do I hear anything at 14?
No, you can't really hear much.
If you're not saying anything, then...
You just hear this crunching, but then you also hear your cart rolling.
Am I just back?
No, the cart's probably flying.
You have to roll it together.
Am I just back?
Like, is it passing...
Can we tell that it's getting closer to us from the diagonal or horizontal?
Is it going to pass in front of us like a T-intersection or is it going to like slam right past us?
No, it's already kind of moving the opposite direction.
Oh, opposite direction.
It's like parallel.
Yeah, I'm just going to tell the goblin that's running the cart to slow up a bit.
We've got eyes on movement up ahead.
Well, they're already passing by.
Yeah, you can see them kind of just look back and then it's like, uh...
Should one of us go check it out?
No.
I mean...
We can do so very quietly, but not just because of the stoplight.
For whatever reason.
I don't want to potentially get noticed.
I don't think they've ever gone outside.
If you feel confident in it, then go ahead.
Just don't make me regret.
We need to stop the cart, though.
We need to stop the cart.
Why?
Because if we continue to move while our frame goes in the other direction,
they're going to get farther away from us.
Oh?
Let's move up the path so we can hide behind some trees.
Rune's about that right now.
How long has it been since I cast Pass of Path of Trace?
It's been about four or five hours.
Is that longer?
No.
It might be just an hour.
But yeah, continue starting.
I'll just check it.
So I'll take off in that direction.
I'll now cast Invisibility on myself.
Alright.
15 feet up in the air.
You see him flying and then you see him just disappear.
And you just see him disappear as he's flying.
And we're watching him.
Perception check to see if I see him invisible.
Go ahead.
Guidance.
16 plus 8.
I'm going to be watching in the direction of where the cart is.
It's a night time too.
I'm holding action to have Mugpo ready to shoot.
Not just have an arrow knocked but not drawn.
Does anyone wake me up for any of this?
No one's waking you up.
A lot of stuff.
I feel like as well we're probably not trying to be super loud.
You guys are all whispering.
It's a stealth maneuver if you will.
Alright, so as you're flying through,
you do notice that there is about,
you know about 10, 15 other humans that are looking for the wings.
Most of the crowd trying to see if they're looking at the path.
Are they outfitted in a similar way to the guys we saw before?
Yeah, they're all like raggedy.
How many?
He said 50.
He saw them.
So you said they're looking at the path.
Are they looking, I know that the strap is on for a while,
are they looking where our caravan is at?
Or is it just at a different spot?
They're kind of in the woods looking out,
but not trying to get into the path.
They're trying to sneak around and try to be hidden.
Okay.
So I'll count how many of them are like,
you can see around here, it'll take us a few minutes to find how many of them are.
And I'll head back to the caravan and not dropping invisibility.
We're going to run a stealth.
Okay.
You said you could see two of them in the beginning.
It's going to be 24.
Yeah, you're good.
I'm very stuck.
Unless, yeah, you can see 24.
You want to go here?
Try it.
Oh, yeah.
So that's 18 plus my 8, 26.
Yeah, you kind of hear some rustling in the trees.
That wasn't...
Still wouldn't think what it is though.
I might as well think I wouldn't notice this, Frankie.
But yeah, I'll land, or not land, but I'll hover by as long as you're like,
Frankie.
Toss an elbow.
I'll try it.
As I go for the right, and then he pops up in my left,
and then starts talking to me, and I'm like, god damn it.
He actually threw up his voice and popped the card.
That'll be like, there's 15 guys in the wooded band, like, before.
They're watching the path.
But I don't think they've spotted us yet.
I don't like those odds.
I'm telling ants.
I love those odds.
Is this a democoronic path?
Like, where we're going to, like, they passed us?
Or was it a new name?
No, they...
They passed us like this.
You say that they were there, but if they saw us coming,
and they were trying to avoid us.
It might be the same group from before, but it also could be another roaming band.
They had the same house in El Salvador, but the El Zanzarri group.
And also, they were definitely being damaged or something.
How?
And here's my thing.
If they control the tracks, they'll be careful.
No matter how quiet we are, we might get surprised later.
What if we can lure them over here?
How hard are they going to be?
We're a reactionary force.
We only need to fight if people try and come after us.
We're not looking for a fight.
But they might have their shit.
I doubt it.
I doubt it too.
But what if they find us later?
How hard is it?
You said it yourself.
You gotta help people.
We do have to help people, but currently our job is to help these,
and I put it in air quotes, people.
So...
People.
As much as I would want to rid the world of scum like that,
currently it is putting our job in danger.
But what if they find us later?
We use their tracks to cover up our own.
Their tracks?
They're going around and hit the...
It's dark, alright.
I've been up for days.
You're a ranger.
I haven't gotten a chance to go into my trance.
That man was missing his pants.
Moreover, I need to sleep.
You're about to get exhausted.
I'm going to start making my way to get down the side.
Make my way downtown.
Take a little rest.
I don't know how the shifts are going, but eventually,
Hale, Harun will just sit up front, but in sentry mode.
I'm going to put my arrow back into the quiver.
Don't do anything to provoke them.
And then I'm going to go into my trance.
Wait, that makes sense.
Are you going to wake me up and tell me this?
I don't know shit.
I'm going to sleep this whole time.
He needs sleep too.
I'm just going to let you rest.
You murdered a man earlier in the day.
You need all your sleep that you can get.
Well, tell us all the fucker-hats.
You're literally five times my weight.
It's like when the cats come in from killing something.
I hate that now.
That was a good workout.
I killed a family of birds today.
They're fucking monsters.
Don't have an outdoor cat.
They will murder your bird population.
Well, so I guess we're not going to do anything about this.
After you've had your sex off.
I mean, you need to.
You need me.
They can't stand the kisses.
I mean, they didn't even touch us.
They didn't touch me either.
You're appealing.
So I will nudge Nix and be like, hey, Nix.
Yeah, what's up?
You going to wake up Nix?
Yeah, I'm up.
What's up?
You haven't fully rested yet.
I've already been fully rested.
He said we've been chilling for days.
He's just sleeping for the hell of it.
I'm just going to grab the other goblins and be like, hey, everybody come together.
Y'all are just taking his nap.
I just want to get a group of sentences.
We've heard y'all harrass his side.
I don't want to hear everybody's side.
I say we kill him.
You don't even know what I'm about to say.
Oh, OK.
I like where your head's at.
So I like inform the goblins and Nix that there is a roaming band over there of the people that attacked us.
Well, a bigger group of the people that attacked us.
Yeah, so they die.
Yeah, kill them.
The goblins are all like, kill them.
Yeah, kill them.
We're going to leave you alone so we can go kill them.
Yeah, you guys just need anything with your hearts.
He's got the drake.
I will say this.
How are we?
What do you say?
I don't know.
Let's go to war, battle buddy.
He said war.
We're a battle.
Go ahead and roll that wisdoms aim.
Oh, that's a nail.
Yeah, so if Harun just starts...
He starts running.
Wait, can I roll with the dice to see if I run away or towards where they're going to be?
Odds are evens.
OK.
Odds, you're running towards them evens you're running away from the caravan.
OK, just go then.
Yeah, here, I'll roll here.
I'll roll your dice.
So evens, so you run away.
Yeah.
Just curious, could I inspire him for giving a little D to the saving throw?
What did you roll for your saving throw?
Six plus three, nine.
Nine, you think a D8 will help?
No, he's already running.
Oh, OK.
So you see him kind of just run and start running.
The opposite way of those guys?
Yep, so you're kind of just running forward still.
He'll come back at some point.
He'll make it, he's smart.
Before he gets 60 feet away from us, I will cast Old Person on Harun again.
All his spells are still stuck in Tainum.
Jesus.
Go ahead and roll Harun.
Roll me a wisdom saving throw, Harun.
Come on, that's what I get, that's what I get.
Oh, I'm rolling so bad.
I guess it's good.
That's eight.
So he's held.
And then I run up and I give him the biggest hug, like, you're going the wrong way, bud.
And then I turn him around.
Just let him go.
Let him go.
I am straight up wound up like little rooms are full of bad cards.
The scene is adorable, as long as I can hold him.
He's like, if you're running from the bones, that way.
Run towards your trouble.
As we're going back, I'll pass by the thing like, Y'all horus, and I'll kind of give a big knock on there.
We're going over there, even though you said you don't want to go.
I get out of my trance.
And do I hear that?
Just like, if you don't manage your trance, you will be exhausted.
Well, I need four hours for my trance, so I guess I'm exhausted.
Yeah.
So if you have one point of exhaustion.
It's up to you.
I just wanted to let you know, in case you wanted to go.
Could stay there to just defend the cart last, if need be.
Or you could come with us and be like a quick 15-minute little clean up, and then we'll back in and you can go to sleep.
Yeah, no, I'm just going to stay on the cart.
You see him kind of just like, I'm going to protect the cart.
I just wanted to just in case, I didn't want to leave you back there.
The four goblins who were on the clothwoods are kind of just like, we'll stay back and guard the cart.
Before Lazzagna goes, I'm going to say just very groggily, like my eyes are barely open.
And this is an elvish, the gods will be watching, and then I close my eyes again.
You don't understand what he said.
Yeah. Is he still sprinting towards the people?
Yes.
Okay, and I see him sprinting, I'm like, fuck yeah, I'm going to get down to his level and run with him.
I'm only 10 minutes behind.
If I see Lazzagna successfully turn around the room and get him going, I'm going to take off towards that camp still invisible.
I'm almost like more than an hour has passed since I started.
No, it's not an hour yet.
And then after that conversation with Gjallharas, I will transform into a panther. Is it a panther?
Oh, direwolf, that's what it is. Sorry. My direwolf. And then just fucking take off.
A wolf that hunts you.
Oh my god. So it's not Rebus Brinton?
That's the challenge rating he's at.
Oh my god, yes.
Direwolf?
He's starting to after you, so as soon as you see him run up, grab that bird bro.
Yes, exactly. If I see him running as a direwolf, I'm riding the direwolf in the combat.
I'm pretty positive.
Let's see, let's see.
Here, you raise one.
Yeah, and it's a movement speed of 50.
It's all about you, they're fancy shit.
He gets pan-tractic, so it's a front ally of his. The ally of his is also within fucking man.
Nice.
They do have pretty damn good strength, so you couldn't erect him right then.
And I'm only 50 pounds, like I shouldn't be hard to work with.
It was, because it's 17, so the strength is plus 3, so it would be easy to pick it up.
Then I'm riding you.
Are you going to let him ride you?
Oh, hell yeah. If I'm riding in the battle.
And then you're going to let him ride you on the wolf tour?
How far out are we from the fight? Are we about to get in the fight? Is it too early for the pop rage?
So if I take about 120 feet together, what's your movement speed?
Flying ahead of them. If I can manage to get there ahead of them, I'm going to, still invisible, drop myself into the biggest concentration of them and cast a spell if that's cool.
Yeah, so you see there's like five of them in the path checking out the track marks, and you see the other ones are in the woods, kind of one-weeding.
So I'm looking for the biggest group that can fit in a 15 foot radius circle.
You probably will get all the ones in the pathway, the ones that are checking out the tracks.
How many are there?
Five.
And then there are ten kind of like in the woods scattered like five on one side, five on the other side.
Yeah, so I'll just pop in the middle of the five of them.
And then it's just scream, let's go! And I'm going to cast spirit guardians and get in the fight.
As you're kind of like popping up on them, you kind of saw them like sitting up on either side and they're kind of like, we're going to kill these guys, we're going to fucking murder these guys.
They fucking took my fucking clothes off.
Let's fucking go!
Wait, that guy's there?
Yeah.
Oh yes.
I'll make sure.
Spirit guardians and one on the side.
So there's five, five and then five on the middle.
They're kind of sitting up like an ambush and they're kind of checking out the area.
Are you winning the song?
Yeah, and then my spirit guardians just looks like a bunch of like tiny fairies, but with like black sacks over their heads with clubs and they just like to spin around.
They look like they're spinning around hitting them.
So spirit guardians does how much or is it a save?
It's a wisdom saving throw and it does 3d8, I'm going to say the chronic damage.
Actually it's the...
Yeah, let's go with the chronic damage.
What is the save?
Wisdom and it's a DC 16.
Alright, first one passes, second one fails, third one fails, fourth one fails.
Alright, fourth or fifth fail?
Nice.
Oh cool, that fifth one I'm going to hit with a little silver garg so let's see if we can hit that fifth fail maybe.
Oh no.
That is a fail.
Okay, so we're going to go...
So that's going to be 14 damage to all of them.
Their speed is also half while they're in the area.
And when they start their turn in the area they're going to have to make that save again or it takes damage.
Alright, so they are already looking rough but...
So you're not invisible anymore?
No, that breaks my invisibility.
It's not also demonstration of having a...
Perfect, yeah so you popped in there, there's a little...
Spirit guardians are surrounding you and they're just scared.
And you see the other ones looking beside you, it's like holy shit they're kind of getting their arrows ready as you see everyone in the whole nation.
And we're probably rolling up probably right around that time.
Yeah, you see them pulling out arrows.
21.
Probably lost again, I can guarantee that.
15 to me.
Let's see.
Yeah, I'm lost.
Unless the enemies go last.
When did you roll?
I rolled a 9.
Nice.
When did you roll a room?
Oh shit, I rolled a 7.
I'm stuck on you.
Oh no, it's fine, don't worry about it.
Oh no, I gotta leap off of you.
I was, I purely like, as much as I love being in animal form I want to do other spells.
I want to have some fun.
Okay, it worked out.
I was like, oh shit, I'm going first, I gotta run now.
Okay, so as you pull up you see, you're about, like 30 feet from them and you see Frankie just pop up and just, some of these guardians around them.
And you see some of the ones from the surrounding area, they also start pointing at you.
Alright, I am, can I get behind the one that's immediately in front of Frankie? I don't know where I am in relation to all of this.
So you're about like 30 feet facing where they are, so.
Is that a possibility? How many, how much room do you have?
I have.
So it's gonna take you 30 feet to get to where they are.
Uh, sorry, I was rolling by, let me check out what I have first.
I'm out, so I'm definitely popping rage.
So you could, with your movement, get to like right behind that guy.
Right behind this guy?
Yeah.
Okay, I'm gonna get behind that guy, I'm gonna pop my rage.
So me and everyone within 10 feet of me has plus one easy.
Oh shit.
So right now, all allies.
Okay.
Yeah.
Yeah, come on, Godzell.
Yeah.
It's so fast.
Me and all allies within 10 feet.
So Frankie has plus one easy.
Plus one easy.
Nice.
I got a six on my wilds here.
I have plus one.
Yeah.
What's your easy, Frankie?
About an easy without a 17.
Oh nice.
Nice.
Alright, and now behind that one guy, do I take those advantage?
Yeah, I like him.
I want you to hit him.
15?
No, I hit him.
Uh, 13.
How do you kill this guy?
Same as your style?
Uh, nah, with this guy, I'm gonna go through like joint up, dick out, like straight through
the back end through his dick, and then pull it to the side, and then off of that side,
attack, I'm gonna hit the guy next to him.
You're a lord.
You're like, ahhh.
The savagery.
Alright, does a, I don't know, I have to count it, 23.
Yeah, 23 hits.
Nice.
11.
11 hits.
Does 17 damage.
Yeah, he also did.
Okay, so I'm going like straight through this guy, and as I go through to clean the blade,
I'm gonna go all over the room and cut the other guy.
You saw him just hack those two dudes right there, so yeah, those two dudes are just down.
Alright.
Frankie, you see Nick just run up and slash two dudes in half right in front of you.
Woo!
Next kill, two people?
Yeah.
Double kill.
Now that's all my shit.
Nick's got the highest kill count so far.
This was Haywell, you hear a guy be like, double kill.
Alright, Karon, it's your turn.
Hit him with the pizza, bam!
So, I have a little bit of a question.
I might not have an answer.
Harun's gonna use his movement to come over this way.
Oh, yeah.
And Angle himself, now he heard of this from Siafra specifically.
So he's gonna take the Bag of Holding, and he's gonna turn it inside out.
And what he has in there already is...
Oh no.
Let's see, where'd he go?
Oh, let's see.
Your manacles?
Calatrox.
No, five bags of 20 calatrox and 25 darts.
It's like, ahhh!
I can't even try to projectile.
Because Siafra did say Harun, you shouldn't do this because...
Alright, go ahead and roll me a strike so you can contain the...
You doing this?
Oh, a strike zoom.
You can't?
Okay.
Let's see.
18...
19.
Alright.
First kill roll.
Let's see.
So you're aiming at the guys in the trees, right?
Yeah.
So yeah, I'm gonna roll a d6 and see how many I can hit.
How many?
Three of them.
And then, let's see...
Her damage roll is 2d10.
2d10?
Yeah.
One's making some numbers up here.
2d10 and then add your strength.
So you said I hit three of them?
Yep.
So go ahead and roll 2d10.
Front three?
Yeah, go ahead and hit 2d10 plus your strength.
Yep.
I just need them to scatter on the darks and the couch.
I'm just...
JAS!
My strength is one.
Is that all the damage they get?
Yep.
They were kind of slinging randomly at them so a bunch of them were gonna hit and cut.
But if they walk through that shit...
I was gonna say that's 100 caltrops and 25 darks.
Yeah, so they're all over this crown.
They're just scared of everyone.
And it is still dark, so...
So was that an action to open that?
Yeah, that was your action.
Okay.
Bonus action.
Taste of Defense.
Alright, Frankie, it is your turn.
I'm going to...
Yeah, that's perfect.
I'm just gonna...
I'm just gonna have this way.
Put them all in my range.
Okay, so they're gonna get a entire opportunity against you.
I guess I'm gonna...
Yep.
That's fine.
Alright, let's see, they're gonna roll...
So I think a seven doesn't hit.
Nope.
Alright, so two sevens in a row and that's a nine.
Alright, another one hit.
Nice.
And his cast is like...
I'm out.
You guys are fun.
So those five should all make a wisdom saving throw.
As my spirit guardians get it.
Yeah.
New area.
What does the wisdom say?
DC 16.
Okay, two of them passed.
And...
Three passed, you failed.
That's gonna be...
So six to those who failed and three to those who passed.
So you see the three that go in the dark don't really fuck that up right now.
Yeah, and then...
Let's see, not actually...
Two out.
I'm gonna look across the plane there at...
Yes?
Let's say that guy there.
And I'm gonna hit him with a little dissonant whisper.
So he should make a wisdom saving throw.
That is 17.
17?
Silver bar, fuck you.
Hopefully.
That's a 21.
So yeah, 17 is 21.
Okay, we're gonna take half damage.
That's okay.
That's gonna be five damage that they do take.
Psychic damage.
Yeah.
You see how it seems...
And...
It's your turn to fire a lot less, though.
So I'm gonna walk up and I'm gonna...
As I'm walking up to these guys right here, I'm gonna cast Fireball on these four back here.
Now, you did say it is a new day.
So my charges...
I only spent three charges and I get guaranteed four back at every dawn.
So my staff is fully done.
Oh, yes sir.
So yeah, I'm gonna cast Fireball and get these four right here.
They've got to make a dexterity saving throw.
16.
Fireball.
I'm gonna fire a little bit.
Only one of them passed.
Only one of them passed?
Yes.
Ooh, I see some big numbers over here.
That's 15 right there.
19, 20, 20 plus 12.
35.
Yeah, so they're all dead.
Four are dead?
Yeah.
Okay.
Because the one that they passed already took second damage.
Sweet.
And then yeah, I'm gonna move up to these guys right in front of me.
And be like, do you want to end up like your friend over there?
They're kind of just like, well get yourself and then you see one of the guys in the middle is the guy who was so close from earlier and he's like, oh, huh.
I just look at him and give him a little wink.
I'm sitting there grinning with my sword or shield just making strong eye contact with.
Licking my lips and shit.
Roll the intimidation.
Oh, yeah, okay.
I was the goal for that, but I will do it.
Ooh, no, no, but that's a two.
The wink threw it off.
They're just confusing.
Is he gonna rape us?
Wait until Nick shows up.
Maybe he's a real clear.
Nick has a wet of slips right now.
All right, so it's a bad guy.
They're gonna turn into.
Don't be bad.
So we don't all these guys.
15 feet of me needs to make that wisdom saving throw or they're also all in calatrops.
But just for starting their turn that they don't have to move.
They only one of them has.
All right, cool.
Then they'll take the ones that failed will take eight damage ones that pass will take four.
All right, they're looking pretty fucked up.
Let's see how much.
So they're acting out.
Yeah, they're pretty fucked up.
They're gonna try to run through.
They're gonna get hurt.
But really, yeah, they kind of just pull through.
Yeah.
Yeah, they're like they're pretty fucked up.
They look like they're like dying from being around.
They're gonna surround you and try to.
They're gonna try to go out the break.
They're gonna have their last stand.
These guys will attack.
Zagna.
Two of them are going to explain the Zagna.
The Zagna is within my she's within 10 feet of me.
I'm so many nine and 12.
Yeah, but I need one of those to make a dexterity saving throw.
For why?
Just find out.
Oh, actually, how close is this guy to me?
You're still going to take.
He's within 10 feet of me.
Yeah.
Okay, actually, I think it's 11 on one of those.
But you're half a minute since you passed.
So I think five damage to one of those guys.
It doesn't matter.
Also, Gonzo, the Calf Troph, you got to roll a dexterity saving throw or stop moving and take one piercing damage.
Okay.
So I mean the three that went in the middle.
These guys would have been.
Yeah, this is only one one damage.
I mean, like, they're stepping on a whole bunch.
We either as they're kind of going through.
Frank, you are going to try to attack you.
Okay, so I'm assuming the 19 would hit the rest of them.
I'm going to cut in words and say you hit like a bitch.
That's going to be minus three to his attack roll, which was 19.
That's 19.
Yeah.
All right.
So one of them doesn't get managed to have you take.
Stop saying.
It's still worth it.
Six damage.
One of them stab you.
And then two of them are going to take a swing at a room.
Swing?
Yep.
It's got my patience has been still up, but you also have advantage.
Oh, cancel.
Yeah.
So the 17 hit.
Okay.
Yeah.
So the rest of them were.
That is their turn.
They tried their best, but they didn't really do much to start.
Nixon, it's your turn.
All right.
You see them.
They were swinging on, on the Zaga.
I'm going to try to get here.
That way I can be within 10 feet of her room and the Zaga.
And Frank as well.
So we're all within 10 feet.
Because it'd be fine.
Nice.
Okay.
Cool.
So everyone is now getting a bonus.
Hey, if only you had done that one turn earlier.
All good.
I am going to hit this guy.
Smack, smack him.
Okay.
That's a 21, E6.
All right.
So that's a 20.
Six plus.
12 damage.
Yeah.
How do you kill him?
Signature moves this guy.
But this time I'm coming up at an angle.
I'm making, instead of doing like two horizontal lines, I'm going to make like a pizza, but with his body.
Eight stunning angles.
This swoop swoop.
That's two slices right there.
He's doing the swoop swoop.
Yeah, I'm coming up and then I'm going up.
And then on my way back down, I'm going to try to hit this guy.
All right.
Actually, I'm going to move behind him.
And try to hit him.
Okay, so number 27.
All right.
11 plus six.
That is 17 damage.
Yeah, this guy's also dead.
You also killed this guy.
They are taking care of the image.
Yeah, that's good.
I'm just going to go.
This is the guy that you went with.
Oh, shit.
Wait, I didn't know it was him.
Wait, shit.
Is it too late?
Fuck.
I wanted to keep him alive specifically.
Well, if you would have known.
Yeah, if I would have known.
Do I know that it's him before I do this?
Yeah, he's the one that you winged out.
Okay, okay.
I guess I can knock.
Like I want to use.
You want to knock his ass out?
Yeah, you can knock his ass out.
Okay, yeah, his specifically.
You walk, you cut to him, then you grab the.
Yeah, we told you.
His specifically, I'm leaving alive.
You see him with the rock.
Slap him with the back end of his head.
It's knocking him out.
On the floor.
Yeah.
And then I guess with my bonus action, I guess.
I'm going to move right here next to Frankie.
I'm going to move right there.
So, we'll talk about it when I use this bonus, but her and Frankie should still have it.
How about you, you're carrying.
Alright, I'm ahead.
I'm ahead.
I'm ahead in what?
30, 20.
Oh, it hits.
Okay.
26, 8.
8 points damage.
Alright.
And then I'm going to do.
He's walking to the wall.
My second attack, I'm not going to do security blows then, yeah.
I'm going to do my second attack.
25.
Oh, that hits.
Another 8.
So, yeah, I just take my short sword and I'm like kind of like glancing, like looking over to see what Nix is doing.
And I try to do the pizza, but I say I do a star real fast.
But then I'm just like, oh, and I'm disappointed in myself.
This guy falls into chunks.
Damn it.
And.
A real killing machine.
I'm going to.
Shit.
I'm going to face this way, I guess.
Is that guy still there, right?
Yep, there's Frankie still there.
Now I'm going to throw out my fury of blows.
No, that's a good.
He's knocked out.
Oh, he's knocked out.
That's a guy.
That's knocked out.
Oh, yeah, I still have it.
I still have it.
Okay.
Fury of blows.
I'm going to do it twice.
Let's see.
Oh, that one's a miss.
No, it's a 10.
Let's see.
18.
18 hits.
Very.
That's seven points.
All right.
I think he had no special moves on him.
Actually, that's Frankie's turn.
I was about to say that.
Oh, you know, I was looking at Frankie.
It's your turn.
You still got the guys next to you.
There's the four dudes.
Yep.
Four dudes.
Could I flank this guy by getting behind him?
That's where my caltrops are.
He's just sitting there.
You could.
You would take an attack opportunity.
Which is worth it because I have it also.
Yeah, so I'll move behind him.
I'll protect my higher thing.
All right.
If he attacks him, I attack him.
I got a sudden ult.
Actually, this guy was in your range, so you triggered two attack opportunities.
All right.
Whoever's closest to me.
But you were still in, so his AC is still up, right?
Yeah.
Yeah, and the other one hit you.
They were four dudes.
Which one of these ones should I hit him?
The one on your other side.
This one?
Yeah.
I hit him because I have a sudden ult.
All right.
Go ahead and roll.
Wow, you remembered.
Yay!
I forget about it all the time.
You forgot about the entire time.
It only comes up in specific circuits.
Yeah, it's a very specific circuit.
So you've been in it all the time.
But you got it.
Yeah, okay.
Do your thing.
Okay, does an 18 hit him?
An 18 hits.
Okay.
That's five.
11 damage.
Oh yeah, how do you kill his guy?
I yell, don't touch my friend, and I cut off his arm.
You see the one he went to go slash.
You see him go to slash you as he's coming down.
You see his arm get locked up.
Then he's just, ah, ah, and you start bleeding out on the floor.
And then I'm going to rapier strike the one between me and Nix.
Which one did you hit, Nix?
I hit the Sparrow Kill back.
So that's going to be a 22 to hit.
Go ahead.
With 12 damage.
Yeah, I got him dead.
How do you kill this guy?
Yeah, I think some of my little Spirit Guardian sprites grabbed his legs and arms and just
kind of pulled him apart.
I just downed through the back of his heart and then as he sticks to the ground, I'm like,
oh, we're friends?
That's awesome, man.
Thanks.
That means a lot.
Growing up, Frankie.
And then, um, you already used your, they used their reactions, right?
Not that one guy.
Yeah, he rolled an eight.
Cool.
Yeah.
And then if this guy can make a wisdom change, bro, getting within 15 feet of me, the one
between that guy.
He rolled a seven.
Cool.
So he's dead.
Awesome stuff, man.
Cool.
They seem like I just be disintegrated by the Spirit Guardians.
And then I will just park myself next to that.
When they start going to turn, I think they're.
Lasanga, you can do it, man.
I'm going to run out to these guys over here and as I'm running, I'm going to raise my
hand in the air and bring it down and cast Sacred Flame on this guy right in front of
me.
I'm going to make it next day.
They say.
Ten.
Cool.
Two, be eight.
I think you're walking in a Caltrop.
Five, five damage.
Am I walking in the Caltrops?
Yeah, roll a dexterity 15.
I put something in.
Or you stop moving.
That's it.
It doesn't make any turn.
Yeah, I'm just stopping right there.
You take one damage.
So you take one damage.
Yeah, okay.
I take one damage.
Hey, it helps if you're trying to get him to stop moving.
He took that damage.
He's gone though.
He's barely alive.
It is their turn.
And the guy's dead.
Yeah, they both died.
They just die in the Caltrops.
The little fairies, just like you see them completely cover their bodies, swarm to the
ground.
They're in the Caltrops on their backs, just being beaten into it.
I see that and I get hype and I start doing the countdown of the dead body.
I'm like, oh my God, this is fun.
Swap, swap, swap.
And I get hit with that Caltrop and then be like, what the fuck is that?
And then cast light so we can try to get all these fucking Caltrops picked up.
Sorry.
I want to be covered in blood after banging on that guy's body.
Oh, you are.
And now that I'm covered in blood.
You killed a lot of men there.
Cool.
I'm going to take my blood-soaked body and I'm going to walk over and grab the unconscious
guy and spit on his face to wake him up.
And I pick him up.
Does he wake up yet?
Yeah, he wakes up.
Okay, cool.
He's just like, I'm sorry.
What's up, bitch?
He couldn't save you this time.
You're mine now.
I'm sorry.
You want to see what we did to your friends?
And we're going to pull his, like pick him up by his hair and show him all the dead bodies.
He's just running up.
I want to lose my dad.
Oh, okay.
Which one was your dad?
I'll give you something to bury with.
And I got a cut off a finger.
I had to cut his right thumb off so he can't move his sword.
Which one's your dad?
He was like one hit away from death so he just outran Killua.
Okay, cool.
I'm cool with that.
Spare the time.
Oh my god.
What are you guys' alignments again?
No, it's Spare the Dying.
He's still conscious.
He's still alive.
But I'm done.
I'm done.
I'm definitely done.
I'm done.
I thought you were gonna say I got another cut.
Yeah, we're good.
Okay, so right now I'm also preoccupied with an opening act.
We're doing a little exercise.
I've gotta remember that I'm used to it.
I don't look like I'm being 대박ed already.
Okay.
said to the point now.
Oh god.
But I'm not giving him any HPs because he could stay unconscious.
He's unconscious and he's missing a finger down.
Alright, well while he does that, while he's unconscious I'm going to tie him up.
I'm going to strip him again and tie him up with the rope I have.
And I'm going to carry his unconscious body back with me to the caravan where I'm going to make him walk with us butt ass naked.
And now you're not even using the manacle belly?
I have rope, he's tied up and missing a thumb.
Alright.
I mean I don't know if we need to make him walk with us.
No, no, no, he needs to learn shame.
Alright, this is going to piece off.
You guys deal with this and you deal.
Yeah.
Maybe we can leave him at the next sandwich.
I'm going to leave him in the middle of the woods.
All of that rung.
Jesus calling carts.
Copious dudes.
Naked dudes.
Hey guys with no knees.
Can I spend some time before they head back to try to see it with the help of some dog doses that are holding the light.
If we can get some of those couch crops or darts back.
I promise I'm going to get a tank.
They're scattered.
I want a tank.
It's 20 minutes.
Well you said they only hit three of them so they're really so scattered.
True, but then some of them are on the tree so they've got scattered around.
Can I kill them?
I'm going to hang them with my light at least.
I wouldn't want to get my hands too dirty so I'll go ahead and like unseen servant it.
Just like go help me pick it up.
Great, great.
So yeah 20 minutes.
Whatever 20 minutes things get for you.
Go ahead and do a little D100 and see what you can do.
Ah come on.
Hey this is fair.
He could girl what?
Okay.
56.
Alright.
56 couch crops?
Okay what about darts?
20 darts is your...
25.
Okay.
Oh that's one.
You've been real sad with that result.
Hey 16.
Alright there you go.
Okay let me read that then for you.
16 and 56.
Yeah but it's like a D100 you can find zero or not zero but like you know you can find
like three of them.
Yeah.
It could be that they're so stuck into the body it's like.
Yeah they're so stuck in the body so we're stuck in trees.
Okay I said we'll just that's about three bags I'll just say a little shorter than three
bags.
And darts.
So I feel like definitely we're walking back to the caravan after we kind of check I mean
I'm not checking the bodies because I don't really give a damn what's in there but I don't
know if you guys are checking the bodies.
I already did.
Or someone's checking all the bodies.
Okay cool.
Yeah Harun got to most of the bodies already.
Cool cool.
Yeah I'm not worried about it.
Well the bodies are still there because one time we got scored something up at the CineGrav
by Spirit Guardians so out of all the bodies Harun was able to get like equal.
I think Frankie too definitely enjoys like winning easily like anytime he can win easily
but like it's also practical.
Right.
With bandits.
Yeah you can learn a lot.
Yeah exactly.
What we did Gonzo is a good thing because these guys were going to attack the next caravan
that came through so even though yeah our method may not have been good we did a good
thing.
I don't care if these guys stop us.
How do you know they weren't here to welcome you?
Oh because who goes around sneaking around in the forest in my life?
Because I literally heard.
Yeah.
Talking about.
You tried to kill me I ruined your life.
It's simple.
Harun's going to walk up to you and say can I at least put on the manacles please.
Okay.
Okay if he says okay I snap his fucking neck.
I'm not letting him live like this.
Yeah he was like what if you see Harun just.
No.
I just got one.
Sorry.
I love it.
No.
Since the guy down one thumb he's like we can't move.
No I'm like he's not going to want to live after Nix is harassing him.
I've had so many plans for this.
I know you did.
I saved this man.
His ghost is going to make me.
You see his body just drop.
His naked lip bond.
I'm lawful and this was getting in the rough.
Okay I'm going to ask you if I could try something out of anger.
I want to see if I can throw his body up in there and cut it in half.
Go ahead and roll me three.
Oh my god.
This man is going for it.
Twenty six.
Yeah you see him just toss it and just fucking in half.
I just like cover myself and get hit with the gore.
Yeah you were already covering my blood now you're even more in trouble.
Yeah and as I cut him in half I yelled god damn it he was mine.
He's already in the job list.
I was pissed he tried to kill me twice.
You know I'm fair.
Not once we let him free once and he comes back and tries to kill me again.
You get what you get.
You know what.
Yeah.
I was going to actually let him live at the end of this.
To spread the message.
To not believe him.
Nah.
He's had the first time.
Dead men tell no tales.
I need people to let.
I need people to know I'm not one to be fucked with.
Harun will stand for someone else being a servant.
I mean that's a good point.
You guys have just decimated these people.
I'm pissed I go back to the car.
What do you mean these people?
Those people.
You're right.
You guys get back to the car.
The goblins just look at.
They just look at him and they're like oh my god.
I'm probably going to pop a second rage real quick because I'm so pissed that he took that from me.
Oh shit.
But yeah we definitely are going to go back and talk to Y'all Horrors about what happened.
I am still impressed.
Oh you're still in the trance.
That's right.
You don't want to get exhausted.
Yeah because that definitely did not take four hours.
You guys dispatched them very efficiently I will say.
Frankly out of character I'm impressed.
I'm hard.
You did say that in the beginning.
Yeah.
You've been hard all night.
Da da da da da.
Bust a shattery tendrils that release around me.
I am not blind to get actually at this point.
I'm definitely going to go back into the car and pray to my god far away.
Because yeah.
I'm going to go inside and close my eyes and job well done.
Yeah.
You know what.
As soon as my ranger is gone I'm going to go to sleep.
But I'm pretty pissed and hurt right now.
I got to look at all of you guys and think oh my god you got the cover to blood.
Are you making it obvious that you're mad at me?
Yeah like you're going to say something to me I'm just going to turn away.
You're just going to hear.
What's that?
Yeah your rage ended.
I'm sorry.
That should happen some more.
I said what I said on purpose.
Fuck yes.
And as he's doing his listening I'm just going to make eye contact.
I will say Haru cut it out.
I'm going to give you one.
That makes it 15.
Yeah.
Frank kind of just like.
If I end up being like that.
Oh natural one.
Yeah.
Deserve.
You see him take the first bite.
He's exhausted from all the bites.
You take the first bite and just.
He's about to.
He didn't eat anything.
He hits him right away and he just starts puking.
Can I do more acrobatics to catch the vlog.
He saw us in his head.
He didn't drop.
He's dropping the bottle.
He's holding it in his head.
He's puking his guts out right now.
Is he on the ground or has he just bent over?
He just bent over and puked with the bottle in his hand.
Real quick.
Do I wake up throughout any of this?
Or maybe 20.
Just to be safe and protect our vomiting I'm surprised.
I was up for like two days straight.
That's a 12.
Yeah you kind of wake up a little bit.
You kind of hear some commotion but you're kind of in the in between states.
That's up to you right now.
No.
Can I tell that it's my friends?
Yeah the goblins don't really seem worried.
They're in the camera by next to you.
They don't really seem worried.
I'm gonna.
Good job.
And then I go back to sleep.
They just look confused but they didn't really seem worried.
Some dripping blood throwing up.
Holding a bottle.
Do I recover at all from throwing up?
No you feel even worse because you haven't eaten and you're just tired.
I still try to take like eight sips.
Go ahead and take another sip and see if you're one of the consters.
I haven't seen servants around for like an hour so I was just cleaning up.
Cleaning up the ball man.
Okay 18.
He managed to take another shot and keep this one down and just like oh I just need some alcohol.
My liver needs something.
It hasn't gone a day free in 12 years.
You're still looking up for a day free for the withdrawals?
Yeah he's withdrawing from the alcohol.
I need an eight shot to stay down otherwise it's a batch.
Do you want to see Nick go through withdrawals?
I'm gonna give him I think I only got two scones left.
Yeah he handed you some scones.
Alright I try to downmate these motherfuckers.
Yeah you just give him a back up and just leave again.
Just wait.
I'm gonna leave the bottle with him.
If I stop throwing up and have the bottle left with me I'm just gonna slowly drink it throughout the night.
You drink like a frog that wishes he was a fish.
Let me do the con save please.
Beak.
Is that another one?
No no no that's a seven.
That's a 13.
Yeah you kind of get through like maybe about halfway through the bottle and the night before you start throwing up again you're like oh.
Alright I'm just gonna cry and throw up for the rest of the night.
You have one more than half the bottle left.
Okay I'm just gonna savor that and cry and throw up for the rest of my night.
I don't know if he's just kind of laughing because he knew this would happen.
This is him punishing Nick.
He's just in century mode but every now and then he goes gotcha bitch.
You see him just ramming me throughout the night and he'll just be like over the side.
Every time I throw up I just cry like a little whip.
Make it stop.
Alright so you guys make it through the night and it's about like early morning as you guys get to this like water area.
You see like it's there's a giant raft as you guys are approaching the gulf and says well are you gonna be able to get on the boat and travel through a bit?
Are you still seasick?
No I'm good.
Alright.
I look at Nick's what in the nine hells happened to you?
He's covered in blood and puke and you're just like.
He looks exhausted.
Have you slept yet?
I slept the whole ride until that fight.
You're gonna need to.
Was it four hour rest in there from basically from the fight to now?
Yeah.
I was sleeping.
You guys have like kind of traveled through the rest of the night got to the suite.
So I think it'll be a good spot to come and see you guys start there.
If we are near the sea can I start off with just jumping in real quick to clean myself up a little bit?
Sure can.
I'm gonna jump in too.
Can I just like spit my spit mix?
I don't know man I think you gotta roll the dexterity.
I'm good at this.
Or I'll just do athletics.
Swimming is an Olympic sport.
Yeah.
You gotta be athletic for that.
You gotta be athletic.
Okay.
I'm gonna let you do that.
Which roll?
With my plus seven.
I got a seven here.
Can you see if I can just run up and just dive straight into the water?
That's perfect form.
I wanna see if I can beat you to that.
Can you jump in water?
No.
Can you not sink?
Well we're about to find out right here.
What was that?
That's a trend.
No no no no.
What is it?
It's a what?
You see him running towards the water.
Just trip over his own feet and just fall into the water like space first.
Do I have to save his ass?
You see him kinda start sinking a little bit.
I go to save him.
What are you strange?
And you see him kinda just start tumbling over and go face first into the water.
Next time we meet, Mark's new character.
If he tries to save...
I'm not floating or weight but I'm still heavy.
Like I'm just at the bottom of the water right?
No you're like on the way kinda and he just grabs you and just...
Yeah I'm not helping.
I don't need to breathe.
I was gonna say he doesn't need to breathe.
He literally just walk in the bottom of the water.
I'm just like laying there while he's like holding me and I'm like this is nice.
And you see him just drag you out of the water.
It's like fall out when you go in the water in a power armor.
You just walk in at the bottom.
Forever.
You see him jumping and like kinda tripping to start sinking.
And you see for a moment you start seeing the bubbles and you see Nick come out just picking up Haru and just throws him back up.
I'm watching all of this and I just give a deep sigh and unscrew the top to my flask of Elvish Brandy and take a spring.
Am I no longer covered in cucumber?
Yeah you kinda just wash yourself off.
That's all I need is to start a campaign.
Alright.
Good session guys.
Good session.
Good game boys.
By the way so that was a lot of people that we fought.
Do we level up?
No.
God!
That's a lot of people!
That was a lot of people!
It was but you guys were quick-boggled.
Is this with Baldur's Gate?
I don't know.
We made it to the end of the game because of how long we took.
Awesome.
We saw it then.
It was.
Yeah they were pretty easy.
They were not expecting to go.
They thought they were going to ambush some goblins.
They were not expecting you guys.
We have a goblin on these nuts.
War dogs!
That's the name of our group.
I'm saying it because it's the next turn not next turn.
Yeah.
That was kind of the joke a bit that we kind of came up with it from the get go.
That we would look at war dogs but one of us can't even say war.
Even though he's a warthorn.
Yeah.
What are you?
I'm a Forge?
Forge?
He said Conforge.
He's still trying to figure it out.
I'm a real bad say anything else that sounds similar.
War dogs!
So but yeah it was a great fucking session in that boys.
Good game for us in the game.
We'll catch you guys next time.
Later fucking nerds.
Believe me nerds.