Brian refusing potatoes. I had a big lunch
He's an Irish Irish man that did not eating any potatoes. I had a big lunch don't fucking
Know
Just know I can fill you up anytime right why is it always men why is it only always men
I know
Maybe around he's still trying to figure it out. He doesn't know yet. No
Because it's funny gay sex is funny. There's no other way saying it
So you're saying you're saying you would have fun having gay sex
That's what I mean. You love being a funny man
Yes, we did we're gonna come back to that question later because everybody this is freaking
D&D podcast where fuck one two three
Five six seven for now play Dungeons and Dragons
I am will or will I am I don't fucking know but I do play lasagna mosque and sponsor us. We are now
level six
Welcome. Yes, we are level six and I figured we might as well talk about stuff that we may have gotten with our level ups
Let's recap on our characters if we always kind of forget yes lasagna is a drew level six druid
cleric now he has one level in cleric and
He has mentioned before that he is a follower of our away and that is his god
And he is part of the the the tempest domain
and fun facts
About how ruin and this is by the way, I just want you to know
This is the third time in a row that I've gotten to do her own
So my first bagged my my foot my foot we could switch the ways we go
It's already too late because I already got it locked in
How ruin before he lost his memory? He actually was a super assassin
He was definitely on the wrong side of the war for from us and that's why he stole him
Yeah, that's a false man. That's a false. Yeah
Got it
That sounds like confidence
I mean I've stumbled upon something on her
Got it
All right
Yeah, go right ahead sir, right. Well
My name is mark. I play
rune when
Warforged monk kind of a baby
He's got some upgrades he and now might have the ability to let's say heal themself
Just through his mind his robot mind, which is kind of neat a false fact about
The character we have not introduced it's always good. Yeah, well, we'll introduce Ben here in a second. Okay. All right
About Nick's
Nick's was a part of a trio in the circus and actually was a tumbler
That is a false fact
But even if I help push off I could eat launch even further
You already did say that to the guards though. You said you were the great
He did say that yeah, I
Am Jaylen I am playing Nick's I am a
Barbarian, but recently I took some stuff
interest in fighting
A false fact
About your harvest
Is
That he is a bad shot. That is a very false fact
No jokes, don't you joke about that
Oh
Hello, my name is Ryan I play the
Aladdin ranger you'll Horace sithra, and I am a wonderful luscious level six
And a false fact about
Siofra is that she's bald
You guys think I'm changing my hair colors, it's my full scalp
That's actually pretty good
That's pretty good every that would be good makes sense of why all the luggage
So, my name is Bronson I place you up front that is a elf of some unknown origin
Pretty tall just got that level six and maybe I don't have a fancy new mood
But damn am I good at what I do now? You guys are you pissed when you see these rules?
Gotta love roads. Oh my
Ben
Ben obviously is new here with us. Why don't you go ahead and explain who you're playing?
Some of us may if you've heard the last few episodes you definitely know
the person
Go ahead and explain
I'm
I'm taking over
Our level world bartender Frank Frankie
And
We're making him a bard so he is here to continue exactly how he's been doing
I hope to have all the party's money
shortly
Thank you don't know which one of us play the long cons
The cons not gonna be that long guys
God so you know what he's I know
We've talked about this. Yeah, I talked about this. I didn't send him a message. That's what it is
I didn't send him a message earlier. He was wearing them anybody took him off. Oh, you're right. You don't know I actually know
You see he's gonna get his emergency socks again
The worst part is that he actually carries around a pair of socks in his backpack
He's wearing them
The worst part is that he actually carries around a pair of socks in his backpack
I think that's the more shocking part about this situation
But you'll laugh at me and then one day you'll have wet feet and then you're like only on someone had a pair of socks
Yeah
Dry them off with a towel. So you're gonna have an emergency backpack towel
Hey, I like her. I mean, that's why I carry my backpack around. So I'm one of those guys
But use the sock as a towel. So gonzo
What socks are you currently putting on?
Those oh my goodness, you know fuck guys were
Yeah, I knew I knew it was going in there. I saw the hamburger and I was like, alright, okay
Where could this be going for the audience at home?
I got my plankton's on plankton stealing the crabby patty not sponsored not sponsored by Dula's one drug
Yeah, definitely not by Nickelodeon. That's for damn sure these I'm wearing these socks. They remind me of Nick's trying to steal the love of CO for it
And that's the cry of Harry's secret for me always unobtainable
He he thinks he's gonna get there
We're gonna keep the chase alive. Yeah. Well speaking of plankton F is for friends who fuck around together
Wait, should I do my fun little tip it who haven't I done yet?
We did the daddy and mommy issues. Yeah, you did take a handshake. Yeah anger management anger management
You don't done lasagna yet. Have you you haven't done lasagna or ha room? Okay, let's do it today is lasagna. So lasagna
Fun actual fact you have made really good friends with Remy the chef and he is now your pen pal. Oh, yeah
How do we how do we communicate with each other then?
He's on a train
He has magic friends. You can send messages with got it. All right. He's also an elf you have not asked much about
He's like this is my best friend you're like half the party. Yeah. Well, I mean you guys are on a train of credit
Still does not trust anybody on this train, especially what we saw at last episode
So that is a cannon that I will give you that is a canon fact. All right
Am I not really no no you you the group is true. The group is trustworthy not the bartender, but the group is trust
But yes, I still don't trust what the fuck is going on especially after the last episode
Which brings us to the next point who wants to do the recap? I
Can give it to you because it really was fucking easy
X don't give it to you. Go ahead. All right, don't give it to you. All right fine
There was a fight that's basically was damn near the entire episode
We thought 17 people how room damn near took on six of them motherfuckers by himself on top
Well, the rest of us were fighting on the inside a bunch of combat shit happened
My favorite part about the combat is next took off somebody's kneecaps and as
As their kneecaps went under like took went out from underneath them. They fell to the ground and they store
But they stared him straight in the eyes as they were dying my favorite part
Are you okay?
It was really cool. It was really cool
It's better than the other guy. Yeah, fair. Yes, we survived
Wallace took went for a pretty bad tumble and
First class, you know some guards went down
But they were okay we saved a decent amount of them
After the combat happened we went back to the luggage hold
Which is where I decided to finally lasagna decided to finally figure out what the fuck was in these boxes
And we found out that they're dragon shards
And that's a
Kind of where we left off the today is supposed to be the last day on the ship
Yeah, you guys are getting there
Yes, so you guys are getting to look to your last few hours
You know your stop is coming at that point of inspiration by the way, so sweet. I know I wasn't here for the last episode
So was I happen to be in the room the night before our last stop?
Yes, you were with with Baldwin. You know what I want. I know what you want
I don't have to talk it through
You know what I what I took. Yeah, okay, just being perfectly clear
Oh, I'm gonna roll a uh, I'm gonna roll dice. We're gonna see if it's problems or not
I'll text you that with me. Oh, thank you. I just want to know if my character's like physically shaking or not
She's gonna play it cool
After you did whatever you're doing now that we don't know about
I believe is when they eventually attacked you came out and fought with Frankie
Yes, and took out some Noles yourself in the front car. Mm-hmm
Yeah, I think I think there was like eight or nine of them that went to first class with you guys
Yeah, you and Frankie took care of him. Easy work. Yeah, cuz you needed to take your meal ticket
Frankie looted them already
By the time we got there we were checking them like you go
Yeah, you're like, you're late as soon as they die
He's already in their pockets before they died. I'm like slices
Chicken pulses. Yeah, that's the best. That's the best blood vein right there. I say pulses or purses
He was given two hands for that reason
All right
So they're you know, they're doing their DM and secret rogue tech. Don't worry about it. Don't worry about what's happening
Why don't you just whisper in his ear seductively?
Because then he'll come and then we got clean. You're right. You know, we don't want to put that in Mark's house
Yeah, I'm gonna use your emergency sock for that
Right, I'm wearing the emergency sock right now Lord knows where it is
You want to find out?
No, no, no, no
Roll for investigate. Oh, no
Can it be inside him for fishing in that?
So where the rest of us pick off are we still sleeping at all?
You guys are in you well, would you stay stood guard again?
I know I know the rest you want to go rest because you're all fucked up
Yes
Harun would have after the fight
Taken his position on the roof end of the train again
Yeah, I think still facing the back of the train. It's usually likes like looking at the views while he's going in sleep mode
So are we rested?
Yeah, you guys are long rested. Okay, long rested. Get my spell slots back
All right. I think I'm already set
Same
All right. So when I wake up would I know how long we have until we are at our destination?
Is it like a nighttime destination? Are we getting there by the day?
So you guys are gonna be getting there like a late morning late morning. Yeah, there is a breakfast
Yeah, so there is this is going to be live breakfast. So you said you help cook
Yes, you're gonna help cook the last breakfast
Okay, as you as you walk in you you're often by familiar smell of garlic
Butter and bread. It's familiar. I don't
Shit what was his name again?
Fuck who?
The chef's name. Oh, I can't
It's not like I told you in the beginning in the you did you did and we're gonna we're just gonna roll to see if I can remember here
Rude oh your pen passing
I got an 11
So that's that's probably not gonna do anything even with my modifier you got yourself I did not I didn't feel it was worth it
It turns into a 14
That's right
As you remember as a Haroon's coming with you because he's gonna help with the cooking he says
You remember them, right? Hello, Remy. Oh Remy
How you doing Remy?
Haroon puts his uh, his sous chef hat back on
and a nice little apron I
Will I will definitely help him with whatever we're cooking I think I believe you said crepes they were making strawberry crepes
Yeah, yes. Yeah, cuz y'all ours was like what the fuck is a crepe? Yeah?
Haroon will be doing his mixer hand routine for the sauce. Yeah, so you walk in there's just a giant bowl
He's like, you know, I wash my hands first. I always do that. He is very clean
I'm definitely gonna talk to him guys. So how did you sleep last night?
Um, not so great. There was I mean there was an attack. I was in the first-class car, but I
Was there just in case it needed me
I just had an idea. I feel like everybody's spirits are getting a little down. You know what we should do
Because of the attack we should throw a party
Get everybody in the kitchen have a huge feast
You know what I mean?
Party yeah
I wish we had the supplies for that. We've gone through a lot already. We're restocking in our this stuff
Then you don't need them
I
Don't need what if we are restocking we can use everything. Oh, that's what I was thinking
We could just use everything now and make like a huge feast. I'm sure we have some of that meats that's been left over
You know, definitely make like a huge feast out of this. Oh, we could we could try to screw something up, but
I'm sure I'm sure our bartender friend has some alcohol. We could be serving everybody. I got some me that could be serving people
You know, yeah a huge thing
run by the captain because
Where is he?
You can look for him I would I would assume at the captain's quarters and
That might be a good idea for Sam it was just a thought Remy
Yeah, but I do have something special. Oh what you got as you see him pull out
Garlic bread, but he uses some of that nice fine garlic you gave him all that elephant garlic. Oh, yeah
Oh, yeah, so he said just a nice treat for looks at her. Oh
No, you don't um, well just for us and this would be ours. There's just a whole loaf. He's like we could share
Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, we'll share it. We'll share it
Keep it keep it fresh keep it fresh keep it on the side
You started a new trend
I
Get fucked by garlic bread in a few months
My stomach's gonna be forming
I'm gonna say Remy. What did you do before this?
before oh
like like in the war
Oh, sorry, I'm speeding his head up and I'm gonna roll he's like tires cooking I
Okay, let's see I think that's 15. All right, you can start sputtering but then
Lazzana kind of notices when I kind of just calms you down
Never mind well I was a
A bit of a I did a bit a little bit of fighting
It was good it was good with a knife so I
Don't like talking about it much. But you know, I didn't have to be done. But now I like to cook
Yeah, I don't like to hurt people either but you know some people they need to be at peace that's what our way would say
Huh
I just keep cooking. I'm not
Hey, he looks he was like would you like some morning coffee Oh fuck yeah, and then I'm gonna you know
Just have a mouth cooking. Yeah, and then he pours you a nice strong glass of coffee
Yeah, you are feeling warm and fuzzy. How much of a coffee drinking?
The whole thing you're doing well, we're you know, yeah
Not like I want to go to the chug coffee because he's gonna be just filling you up as you're going. Oh, okay
I mean, I'll probably drink like one and then just have like regular coffee the rest of the time. All right
It's still morning guys. Oh, I'm just wondering. I mean some of your some of your other party members tend to be a little bit of a
indulgent
What are you implying
But yeah, I'll have like one cup of coffee and just have like regular coffee after that
Perfect. I would like to find mix
at some point all right, I was gonna be looking this will be happening as a
as they're cooking because they're
They're cooking he's got to sleep a little longer
So this is gonna be after he's well if she happens to come across like the food quarters
I would like to try to wave her down
And talk to her about what we saw last night
She still has yet to know what we saw would your character be awake this early. I'm awake super early
I'm trying to catch him before he's awake
Okay, yeah, so I'm trying to leave this like
so we'll say you saw
Dizogne and Harun walk into the kitchen and you're kind of just
Yes, so you remember those boxes that I was trying to investigate the other day, hi, yeah
This is not gonna be super loud. I'm gonna be kind of whispering this a little bit. They start to whisper
He goes back to his business
Her room just starts mixing really loud. Have you ever heard of the dragon shorts?
Roll me an arcana check see see what you
Great oh
22 all right. Yeah over 19 you are very aware where these are and you know that these are powerful items
I can be used my eyes like for half a second just one and the narrow down
You know all those boxes we saw
You see my shoulders relax man, I was stressing about something totally else
Oh, do we want them you think about it
And I'll just go back to my business because she was the only one that was that wasn't informed about what we see
Yeah, are you saying anything else now after that? I'm just like think about it. I'm walking to the room trying to catch it
So you walk in on your
Horace and Nick's
Just kind of a pass out
Try to wake only you okay?
Here in line you need you don't need it so you'd be awake by this point to yeah, I would just be
Yeah, it's still be in the room just making sure that all of my stuff is in my pack
He's very meticulous with his packing hey
He does require a lot more sleep
It's okay, I'm gonna grab my foot
I'm gonna like shock up, and I'm gonna see a turn chop plate off
Yeah, of course of course
And I immediately get up, and I'm just in my shorts and I'm cool walking out without a shirt
So we'll take you to the outside your door yeah, I closed door. I'm a whisper to you
Yeah, I cannot be with that
Can't tell me no. It's just I can keep good secret. Just you and me okay?
Take this I'm gonna hand you the back. I don't know I'm gonna hand you the bag of holding
You know okay, and then I stuff it in my pocket
And do not have it. I'm gonna look at him because I know he doesn't have any pockets on them. Yeah
Nice and safe pass crotch
I
Like my sack it's gonna get a soft chuckle give you a kiss on cheek and then immediately walk I
He's not gonna be anywhere
Big before you go I try to like fly down real quick. No gone damn. I'm I hear you, but I don't turn around
Okay, are you looking in the bag?
No, okay, it is the bag
Let me go back to the room to get dressed now now open clothes on and put in layers between me
You'll harvest when you see them swap back in beaming
Your ear grin
For the bag he's pitching a tent
So he is raging, but not in the sense of your thinking yeah
Going somewhere else right now. I can tell
There's no I
Don't have to use my imagination for this one
But I just look at him up and down and I
Keep going
fucking fixing my pack
I'm gonna get dressed, but I mean you want to go back out because I was looking to talk to her
This is also so uh Frankie you are actually serving a particular character right now as well. This is going on
Oh, yeah, so this is this has been your daily patron
This is Baldwin's who owns this cat this entire plate thing
Because he sees you everything. It's just you know drunk as hell
He's talking to you
About how he's like yeah, there's been this fine little
Creature with me think about trying to keep her
That seems smart yep
I
He's like give me love you up another little happen, huh?
All right, but you I'll have to take your name down for the receipt though. Oh you already you already have my name
How do you not know who I am to have it's been so many names at this point um
No, you're right. You're right like do you not know who I am?
Actually no he throws he throws a handful of money at you
I was trying to catch it. They played off like cool. Go ahead and roll it go ahead and all you
Let's fight a handsome. Yeah, see how good you catch it
That's gonna be a 21 all right
You catch ten pieces of gold
He just you just hold money at you to show who he was but
He is very drunk and says we're about to we're about to stop and I got some uh important business oh
Oh
That uh the lady you talking about yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Are you gonna you gonna be back on the next stop come back with us
Maybe
Depends if I had an incentive you know I mean always like I'll keep giving you money
But you know to make like a whole return trip that our next leg that's a
I need some kind of down payment just to make sure it's it worth my time
I feel like a lot of hype rollers are getting off the at the station
Go ahead and hold me a persuasion check
That's gonna be a nat 20
I'm gonna go ahead a little a d4
He says would a four thousand dollar down payment be enough
Yeah, that'll do it. Four thousand gold. Yeah. Oh, yeah
You're about to say silver. I was about to slap your mouth
Four thousand is four thousand gold enough. Yeah, you got it on you. Let's take it right now
He grabs a bag of money
He just starts just kind of starts dumping money and he starts snapping at another helper just to bring him more money
Yeah, I'm keeping him loaded with whatever's on hand
And then we join
I'd be in the kitchen area. Yeah, so that we now we go back to the kitchen where
You are heading back towards Haroon and lasagna. I nix
You do see her about to enter the kitchen area or the you know the cart to get to the kitchen
I'm trying my best to keep it cool and slide. I'm like, I don't know if you would catch on to this
I'm just giving you like a little head now
What's up?
Not be too obvious but try play cool performance
How well he gets off that is a five
There there are guards there the kinds of watching it it's kind of awkward they're kind of looking away because they're like this is kind of
Oh, he's still hard you
This dick to point like lean into the wall like yes
Yeah, so I've been meaning to talk to you about yeah things that we should do before we get off this train later this morning
Um, oh
Things we should do. Yeah, like look at the guards like I don't know well like something
When oh you're with Baldwin, okay, so I'll just pack up you okay, and I just walk off into the kitchen
You know, unfortunately that made him even more hard
Yeah, we only got for an hour, okay, is that good or bad
We want
Are we gonna rob this guy before we leave?
You don't have to worry about that. I will take care of that. We just got to
Gather the group get moving on are we gonna steal the dragon shards? Oh, by the way, there's dragon shards, huh?
That's great are we gonna steal this
See seem pretty valuable, I hear you know
Yeah, would I know how much each dragon charge would roughly cost?
I also you you wouldn't know the exact price, but you know that this is worth a lot
Would I know if it's hard to sell like is it illegal? This much like super control you weren't there when?
They you so, you know, there was a magic fabric on it, but you don't even know how high level
Yeah, so this was protected so I knew and it was I knew it's important
I'm saying in general like dragon shards. Are they like only certain people can sell them?
Is it a black market item? Like do you need to roll me a history check because you?
Being who you are you might know this a natural one. Yeah
You're just you're kind of you're so you're just so like
Angry with how dummy was you just focusing on like you're just so yeah
I'm like not even able to focus on it. Yeah, we can but we got to get a plan first and I
Feel like we have another plan going so we can talk to the group about it. Okay, let's make sure my scarts
I was something quite cool man, and then I like look back and I like flex real quick
I'm like I'm like talking psychopathically, but I'm totally faced the opposite direction
The hardest cons is walk past you guys and then your horse you're stopped in the hall
But one of the guards stops you reach his other hand
As a wall it's Wallace, yeah, here's one of the guards he just kind of like as he's giving you like the the last of the
depth he's like
Drowning he's oh my god
There's no water on this train
War stories don't worry about don't don't say that too loud around my war forged friend. I'm just buzzing loud
Tile up man down so Wallace saw this entire exchange and just kind of just cringing the whole time so
I'm not here performing for Wallace
Got one good spirit
It's always a good spirit around him
Good Melvin Brando
But yeah
Yeah, I'm trying to gather everybody
So breakfast is starting to get served you see
A Baldwin come you see a Frankie come because he heard there were crepes Frankie loves grapes. I love them
Hey, you see zipping around
I'm I am meadley peels. They all be like
but I'm gonna like go over and try to chat them up a little bit and be like
Another show usually our first-class specimen coming for the poor folk
Yeah, I like to punch down every down there
Gracious of you
Yeah, I said a lot about me
No, I'm really just here for the food you guys do your thing
Punch down
It's when somebody's hired
I know what the fuck you mean
The biggest smirk comes across the office for days like
You know what? He's high
Your horror says is with a with a full plate
Words of advice honest questions get honest answers
You've changed since first class that's my customer service voice
I'd go back to eating my plate of crepes. There is other food. They have really focused on the crepes
It's true. You're right. So are you getting off at the end of the line as well?
Yeah, I think by time
What the train is about run its course. I feel like what's his name?
Big shot. Oh, yeah, um, you should avoid him
Yeah, he's my man
I just wanted you know, we were kind of getting some camaraderie in the train car, you know deals made back and forth
Just want to know if you could help me
Know the state of things. Oh sure. Yeah
If you see anything like rise tempers just shoot me a note or something, you know
I honestly watch out for a steel cage falling from the ceiling. Any somewhere on top of you. This man wants you
Oh shit
Okay, um, if you guys would excuse me and I'm gonna go back to the room and use my disguise kit to turn into that
All right, previous kit. So Baldwin isn't eating in the room already
I'm going to try to go to my cell phone. Yeah, please not a natural one
Oh, no, I don't have my hood up so it won't be a damage
That is 23
Yeah, you got a 23 on stealth. Yeah, he did not see you. Yeah, so I'll take my time go back to the room
And change back into that other identity that was like the blonde high aristocrat
That's already been established
That the one who's following her? Yeah
So you're doing her and then coming back
Perfect. Okay
Alright, I think I'm so you
Yeah, so it takes about an hour to burn the passport
And the SIM card and everything
Going off the grid, baby
You might be having a hard drive
It takes an hour, right? Yeah. All right. So yeah at this point you see everyone's already kind of been eating
Finishing up, Lasagna's cleaning up, talking to Remy, trading recipe information back and forth
Balancing ideas off each other
Not giving my father's gumbo recipe done
He's been trying
Not happening
But he's like what about the jumbo lie recipe?
Oh, you can have that one
He gives you a pen and paper
Oh, you want me to write it down? I mean I already wrote it down
I'm not gonna give you the ingredients on the top of my head
He's like alright, just tell me what to do and he just starts writing
Oh yeah, I'm gonna just start you know telling him what to do
But I'm not, yeah
He'll start jotting it down
Unfortunately Will does not know
Yeah, sorry
I don't know either
Yeah, you thought jumbo lie was only fish or shellfish
I don't know man, there's always shrimp in it
Sausage gumbo
Sausage jumbo
That was pretty good
If Harun could follow into the kitchen, he is going to ask if he could take a plate to go
For when they might
Remy says, would you like to keep the apron and the hat?
Yes
What?
I think you've heard it
I was made for this
He's gonna do a little dance and just break it down like he's so happy
I see Harun dancing, I start dancing too
Hey, Harun is like pointing at you
He's bouncing up and down
Are you doing the robot?
It's low hanging fruit
Does it add anything to his armor class?
No, it just makes him cuter
Looking cute
He has advantage on Charming others now
Yeah, when it comes to cooking related activities
I think he's gonna be a good fit
He has advantage on baking rolls whenever he gets it on
So why is he wearing the apron?
Oh, he's making us some, don't worry
Did he answer me on the extra plate of scones though?
He says, I thought you didn't eat
Or was it for your friends?
Yeah
Okay, we can whip something up
Yeah, he puts on the arm attachment
Yeah, he's gonna help him make them
So you guys are getting towards the end of the game
And as you guys are doing your wrap ups
Remy does walk up to you and he hands you a basket
A basket?
Yes
I'm gonna look inside the basket
Like in the most shocking face Lazzagna has ever seen
So it's a nice little wicker basket with a lid on it
There's bread, cheese, meat in there
Some fruit
I'm gonna give this man a giant hug
And he's like, I'm gonna give him a hug
And he's like, I'm gonna give this man a giant hug
And he's like, I don't know if the robot will eat
And he'll give you a hug
He'll hold on to it
But I'll definitely accept his gift
And my friends will definitely enjoy it too
Perfect
I'm glad to have made a friend
We are friends and I'm gonna give him my
My Eberron phone number
Because he wants to get a hold of me
He'll be like
I'll get a hold of you
I'll send you a messenger
Do you have a
AOL
He says, I have friends who have magic
Who can reach out to you
I don't think any of my friends know that type of magic
Unfortunately
We'll find a way but I'll be working here
With the Orion family
So you know where to find me
Oh yeah, I know where to find you
Just do me a favor, stay away from both of them
I tried not to be near them
Just go for them, that's all you need to do
That's why I don't leave the kitchen
That's a good man
That is a good man
I'm gonna miss you so much
And he's gonna hug Remy too
He's gonna give you a hug
Thanks for being, you're the best mixer I've ever had
I feel awkward
Because I'm still in the kitchen watching all this go down
I feel like an awkward fourth wheel
You're sitting there eating croissants
I go up and try to join the group hug
And try to pick everyone up
Everyone do a try
Actually you wouldn't be able to fit your arms fully
And your legs, like how do we strike the roll?
Flat strength or athletics?
Actually same number, doesn't matter
18
Is anyone opposing being picked up?
No
I don't think I can oppose an 18
Yeah, you're like
You grab their legs and just as they're
You're like talking about them
I just want to be a part of this
Office
Now you know how office feels like
Yay
I will offer
A little
Piece of bread to mix if you want one
Look what he made me
I drop people immediately for the bread
By the way, how are these crepes?
You've eaten about 20 of them
Yes
I love these big pancakes
Mom, dude
Pardon my French, but nom, dude, dude, dude
This is a good mothafuckin' crepe
You were just picking out
The entire hour that
You didn't even notice that Seeofer left
Because you've just been chowing down
Correct, I mean she always leaves
I'm used to it at this point
Show her face and usually another wig at some other time
Like a stray cat
We noticed a tall
Elven woman walking
You immediately see
Yohara is still eating crepes
I just came a little
Of course
And I go sit
Not in like the same booth as him
If the other one like apart from them
Is open so I can like look directly at him
And cost the
Cyanic whiskers one more time
This time I have to expend it
We can talk for five hours
And you hear my voice like
Recognize me
I'm gonna wave very quickly
I'm gonna look up a little frantic
But then when I see you wave
I'm gonna narrow my eyes
And um finish my
My chewing
And I say out loud, WHAT?
Ah, you're just as soft as granite
Seeofer
Use your brain
I say now in my mind
Soft as granite
Fuck yourself actually
I'm just trying to let you know that I'm not a strange woman
Staring you down
Strange woman, what do you need?
Nothing
You did this for a reason
No, I'm good
Alright, I'm listening
Okay, I'm gonna just go sit
I go back to eating and I think to myself
Fucking bitch
Does he hear that?
Well I think it so it's in my head
He's here coughing
Oh you're still
I'm gonna sit down here then pipe up
Not a sound
I'm just staring at you now
I'm just sipping tea
Like I got some done
Harun's gonna start walking around
In the kitchen and then do the whole way
And go Seeofer
Seeofer
Sit down
Can you take care of that?
I'm not Seeofer right now
And I'll explain later
Please shut him the fuck up
As long as you
As long as you stop being a bitch and tell me what the fuck you need after that
I will
If you get him to stop
Seeofer
Hey she's not around
Not around
Okay
I don't need to see like once here
Yeah she's in the little bitch's room
Then you hurt your boy in the shit in your head
Necessary
Totally necessary
I respond back in my head
I'm just keeping up a bit
So Harun's gonna just say to himself
Aldwyn's around?
And then just be confused
And then just go back to the kitchen
Powder in her anyway
And I go back to my plate of crepes
In my head now to you
Alright what?
Half the job's done, we just gotta get off the train
Alright well I want to leave
I need to
So you guys are getting there within the hour
Frankie you are finishing up
Any last things you want to do while you're
In there at all?
Umm
I'd like to
Write a
Fun little thing on the beer
If I can
It's a slur
Frankie's in our room
At this point right?
Umm
No, no, not really
He just
I hear a lot of things
Because you got sad folks
When you guys are whispering
Don't worry about it
We can say it out loud
No it's fine
I'd like to
On his mirror just write a little knock knock
Joke and just go knock knock
Who's there?
Who?
I'm a lot smarter than I sound
Ha!
He's gonna write that whole thing?
Find the space
To get that down
With us a little partying
Alright so we can say what you're doing
On the side out loud right?
Alright so above the table so you guys don't know what's happening
You were followed
To the room
By an invisible man who you couldn't really see
Umm
So what were you doing
In the room?
I was acquiring wealth
So uh Niggs did put the bag
Of holding down
No I didn't
You had it on
Ok perfect you're gonna search the room?
So everyone's stuff is there
I'll fuck you up
Their stuff is there
Because they actually pack all their stuff up
In the room
I don't know about my gold pouch though
Your money pouches I assume are on your pouch
But your other stuff
Alright I get what you're saying
Yeah I'll gather it all up
I'm not gonna like separate it out
Into my stuff I'm just gathering it all up
For the inevitable power play
Because I feel like that really endears you
To new people
So just
I got like a standard
Adventurers kit but you do see like a stupidly
Sophisticated
Disguised kit
And a crowbar
Like burglary tools
And stuff like that
That's gonna be out of the ordinary
Sweet
Out of all of it I'll see the crowbar
And I'll actually tuck that in my own
Persolves
You're gonna find
Lasagna's own brand of deodorant
That he always carries with him
Yeah to be fair I'm probably rifling through stuff
You know not to take anything but
It's good to know the people before you know them
So I just get a little whiff and go ooo
It explains a lot
Yes yes
Is it the moss kind of deodorant
It is the moss kind of deodorant yes
He has a bunch of herbs in there
You really don't find like anything
On mine it's just some packed cards
Of my stuff like in my weapons
I keep a pair of pretty bare bones
Oh you'll find my nice shield I forgot about my shield
The only thing you'll find
Weird in mine is
That I have
Cartographers tools
I have a whole bunch of
Caltrops
And
Both maps too
A potion of healing no my maps I kept on my person
Oh you have those
Ok
Did we discuss if I had a door
Because I said I opened my chest and pulled out my map
It has a small compartment
Like it's a small just for paper
It's like a glove compartment
It's like a bender roll where you're kind of like
You see kind of like this
Oh I get you
So you're still kind of like
Covered in material but you're not really like
Well then yeah my maps are there too
And I have a written list of the maps that I have
So you see a bunch of
Would I know that
This is Harun stuff
No
I mean you see my old monk clothes
Now I'm wearing elven clothes so you'd see my old
Basic monk clothes
And
It's a bunch of
Robot shit
The missile
Did I write what in
The map
The map yeah
If you're talking about the one
Of the city we were in, Sharn
That would have been just common
No actually I wrote what was in elven
I thought I made that map
Oh I thought you were talking about the one you made
The one in Sharn
The one you made, okay gotcha
I'll just find one with decent margins
And I'm just gonna use this tool, Cartographer Tools
And destroy a little smiley face
And say Harun, you're the best
Or actually sorry, you're the best
I don't know it's Harun
Just a random compliment to everybody
Um
Yeah I don't know
I think the maps would
Be in common
I don't know if you want to show him
The list, it's this stuff right here
Yeah so one of the
So these are the areas
It's kinda hard to read sorry about that
Go ahead and roll me a history check, see if you would know any of these
Just going through our shit
It's gonna be a 9
Yeah you're just like, I don't know any of these places
You weren't good, you weren't
The best of geography so you don't really know
Are there maps of places? You don't really know where they are
Yeah that's fine, it's not really my will house anyway
Um, Yo Harus, what's in your stuff
What's in your pack right now? Cause you know you were packing everything up
Um
I suppose I didn't say that I
Had my pack on me although
Whatever it's fine
You find pretty basic stuff for the most part
Um
You find that there's a litter in a bottle of ink and a quill
Um, nice pair of
Glasses, it's there
You find a fang
You don't know from what
It's a fang
There is a
I got that fang on me
In my pack at least
You do find a potion of greater healing
Um, some, and I, like
You don't know what kind of animal but it's some
Jerky, um
Still keeping
And then a potion
Well it's more of a, like a bottle
And it's a, this dark thick black
Liquid
You don't know what it is? Yeah, there's another potion
Oh, that's the other thing
So this is what happened while you guys were at breakfast
I have a random blue potion too
That's one thing I forgot
So your stuff is like meticulously organized?
It is pretty meticulous
Yeah, like everything has a spot and it's
Like where it needs to be
I'm gonna try my best to still neatly
But like completely reverse the order
Just like have everything different
Just slightly
Go ahead and roll me slightly
It's gonna piss him off
It's gonna be a 24
I hate you
You managed to just perfectly
Like it's still in order but now the opposite
Yeah, it's like this was not here
This morning
As I'm going through this I'm like man I really don't want to keep track of all this
So I'm gonna just start putting the bags back
To where they're at and then
Uh, because just to
Sow the little seeds of chaos I'll take
Um, Lasagna's deodorant
And I'll just put it inside
Uh, Yohoros
Um, just hopefully
And then start a little tension
If you wanted to borrow my deodorant you just had to ask
Alright, this is all going on
When you guys are eating breakfast
Yeah, once I've learned enough about
These people
Oh, I also forgot
I have a pair of manacles as well
I'm gonna have to take those
Unrelated reasons
So
That goes in the pocket
Yeah, I'll leave you wondering
What happens with a crowbar and
And uh, manacles
That's gonna be great
Alright, um
So you guys are gathering up
You see some of the
Elves guards are saying like
Alright, we're about to actually land
Um, say your goodbyes
To any of the friends you've made
Yohoros Wallace has been speaking highly of you
I um
I've asked the little guy
Where is the man I'd like to say my goodbyes
He's in the uh
He's in the cargo bay right now
I'm gonna make my way to the cargo bay
Him and the other guards are prepping the delivery
Uh, I grew up to them
Um, can I
Can I say that I would uh, just cause of the
Situation that is back there and knowing there's
Possibly a delivery
Can I just be out there for the
Yeah, so it is also gonna go
Once the train stops and the doors open I'm outside
To see what's going on
Yeah, so you see that there's like at least 10, 15 guards in there
And they're like, oh, we're gonna move stuff and get ready
Uh, some of them are saying hi because they've seen all of you
Uh, some of them walk up to you
The captain walks up and says
Are you joining us for the return trip or are you leaving us here?
No, no, no, this is my side
He's like, oh, it's been
It's been lovely and you kinda reach his hand out to like
Grab yours
Wait, does he recognize her?
I'm the whole other persona
Oh, you already did switch back
So he kinda just reaches out and gives you a little kiss on the hand
And um
You see Baldwin yelling
And roll me a percent
Check, see if you
See if you would see this or hear this
Would I be able to do it too?
Yeah, go ahead and uh, 14
See if anyone here is shouting
Okay
It's still a 15 even without
Guidance
I keep forgetting about it
That's my thing
You hear commotion
But you can't really tell because of the uh
I'd like to
Not
Obviously get closer to the commotion
If you were to go on
But I don't want to be seen by Baldwin
Okay, um
Go ahead and roll me a percent, see if
Perception? Yes
Wait, sorry
Wait, are we stopped?
No, you guys are stopping right now
That's an 18
Yeah, so you look through the little people and you see Baldwin yelling at cards
I'm gonna stay like
Within a crowd or whatever but I want to hear you saying
I'll stay close
Yeah, so um, as you get closer he's yelling
He's saying, where is
Where's Sydney? I haven't seen her all day
You see him yelling at one of the
Guards
He knows it's Gerald and I don't know
Must smirk but I'm just
Kind of keeping tabs on him, thank God
Sydney needs to die
The rest of you notice that
They're uh, all the boxes
Are strapped up and they're loading them
And they're on like
Devices to move them
He says, are you guys helping with the unloading?
Oh yes
As soon as he says that, there's a smile on my face
He looks at
Something looking next and then they're like
After last night
You could probably care where he's boxed yourself
About damn time you all recognize
Yeah
I say psychically to
See if we can get a load of this guy
And you hear one of the guys
He cut that dude's legs off
Did I hear this? Yeah
I look at that guy and go
Oh shit
He's gonna cut my legs off?
Looked him in the eyes
I'm also assuming you're on
You're on Harun's back
Have we walked there? Yeah, 100% I took a right
I'm assuming it's up east
At this point it's implied
You look majestic
After they just like
He cut his legs off and you're just riding me
And just mmmm
That's where he's picking you
Yeah, I can fucking swing him
Remember that? You guys get there
Doors pop open
Frankie is sitting around
You kinda notice the ball
And you guys just kind of just fly above him
He's still pretty drunk
And you actually go ahead and roll me a perception check
See if you over here what he's saying
Oh shit
23
You hear him say
Where is Sydney?
She was supposed to be mine
I'm gonna use
A minor illusion to
Just
I've heard Zio for speaking up
I'm just gonna mimic
Her voice coming from behind
And like, Yoohoo over here
We did it big boy
Do I hear this?
Hey ball bro
Well, if you want to present checks right now
Can you
Oh yeah, that's not like
That's like a full
Blown like
19
You hear this too
You see ball and kind of start going
I start looking
You follow the ball
You're carrying a box
Of dragon shards
This is as
As you guys are about to start unloading
So you guys are starting to help
And you see him kind of turn around
If I hear that and I see Baldwin going
I would assume that he's doing something
And I would just fuck off
Or she's doing something and I would just fuck off
So, time to time
Jesus
I'm in up ease
What did you roll for protection?
I got nine
You're trying to peek and you're kind of a little worried
You're like fuck fuck fuck
I'm not getting close to that
So if he's going back in the train
I am going to disappear
But watch and monitor the exit of my friends
I want to be like
Out of mine until I see everybody's off that train
I don't want to exist
Holy shit
I go into the fifth dimension
You're just basically
Into the walls
That's 31
Shit you put her hood up
You put your hood on just scaling the walls
Spider-man
But you guys are helping
You know the big crate that you
Had to charge in
Oh shit I would have to go back into the train to get my stuff
Unless I went
I was like I have my stuff with me
I assumed you guys went back and got your stuff
While you guys are getting your stuff
What I have noticed is some question
Metro
So this is going to happen while you guys are getting your stuff
Because I forgot about this
It's going to be hilarious
Y'all Horace go ahead and roll me an investigation
Because you kind of have a weird feeling
My stuff has been charged up to it can I try?
Yeah you noticed
Actually go ahead and roll me an investigation
I'm like guidance myself
Your bags are kind of in the wrong
Back to the other
Like that dumb Ken class teacher
Check his backpack and their stuff
I don't know if a room would even look
You're still a little spooked about the whole thing
You're kind of like I don't care I'm trying to go
17
Where's my deodorant
Someone grab my deodorant
I rolled an 11
Something's off
You just can't get wine
It's so perfectly reversed
You know it's off but you can't put your finger on it
Has anybody seen my deodorant
I could have sworn I packed it in here
But you do notice that
There is a little different smell in there
I just kind of shrug it off
You're going to be stinky boy
It's okay
I'll make some tomorrow it's not that hard
I wouldn't have gave a shit I'd have scrapped my bag
Didn't check
Next would you care to check your bags
Not even in the slush
He's still thinking about that kiss
I was telling him
I got nothing in there but weapons
And a deck of cards
So there's not much to steal
The room same thing you wouldn't have noticed
I wouldn't have checked
A room would be the least likely to check a shit
It's on your mind you don't know
It's bothering you still
But you don't know why
I'll just
Have my bag
Look things over one more time
You want me to roll for that
It would be likely you'd try to look at it again
Knowing your character go ahead and do it again
Because I know you wouldn't stop trying
Because you're like something wrong here
Investigation still
Go ahead and roll me another one
Well that is a natural one
Yeah
As you were doing
You kind of mixed up your own bags
And now you're just like fuck
Now you mixed up your bag even more
You know you're stopping
So you kind of just pack it closed
And you know it's out of order now
I just throw my hands in the air
And make sure that I have everything cinched down
Pat myself down
Phone mullet penis
As a rescue you kind of saw
Your heart freaking out about his bag
Yeah
So I'm going to say
In your head it's still a last thing
Try to gather everybody up outside
Got a job done
You got to share the spoils
Yeah yeah
And I go over to the rest of everyone
Alright we're getting off the train
Our mutual friend
The woman
Holy shit you know my name
You hear me in public
Everyone is sharing spoils
So payday alright let's go
He says that I immediately
Line up because I don't know the exact number
But I do know where he gets
This payday from so I'm immediately elated
Yeah so you see
As Nix you're helping unload
The big cargo boxes
They're loading into a big
Looks like a big
You haven't seen this type of
Looks like a chariot but
I want to try to do a perception check
On who we're giving this to
And like any insignias or anything on
This transport unit
And is this transport magical in nature
Yes
Ok can I roll a check on that
To see if I would recognize it
Yeah go ahead and roll me an arcana and you go ahead and roll me a
Perception check
Well that is a natural one
There you go way up
You're trying to focus but you're also trying to show off your strongs
You're kind of like fuck
A natural 20
For a total of
20
24 plus 8 32
That's current year
Oh my god
So you guys are in
Oh I forgot to say where we're landing in
Tharn Thrain
So you guys are in Thrain
And you guys are in let me tell you what city real quick
I forgot to tell you so I don't forget
I forget this part
How dare you not have your shit prepared
I did but then
Why
You handed me a
Some herbs
Oh some of the oregano yeah
Some good shit
Danky
Whip cream is just the sound of
Whip cream
Mmm
You guys are landing you guys are in
Flamekeep
So it's what like the city of
The city of Flamekeep
Actually go ahead and roll me a history check
See if you know this
The county
Nine
Yeah you've heard of it
But you don't know
19
19 yeah
Balance is what it should be
This is the capital
And you'll notice this is also
If you've ever been in a city for worshipping the
Flame so this is one of the biggest areas
Of the Silver Flame
So this is a very pious place
This is the church of the
Silver Flame yeah this is the
Also they don't worship my
God no but this is like
A big
This place is a theocracy so it's kind of
Ruled by the church so you know this place is a very religious
Area you're in
Alright look at theocracy
Who said that thank you
How do you spell that so I can get this on the note
Flamekeep
No but the
Thrain
T-H-R-A-N-E
Is Thrain like the country
It's like the state pretty much
It's like the capital
Did you roll a history check
To know Carpathian
No I got
Handed this up from Jake
Oh well that's 19
Nice
Is it just
History
I'm not going to show you that
Yeah you know
For travels
You know this is a
Very
Religious and in doubt place but it's also very advanced
And magically
So pretty magically in doubt place
So there's a lot of magic here a lot of religion
A lot of order
So great for a person like me
Great for a person like you
Same
So this is
You notice
One of the
So all the figures
Are wearing hoods and stuff
But you do notice some of them have
Dark skin
Little pointy ears
You know
They're drows
You see some of their eyes
And one of the figures
In the cloak you're looking at
You're trying to discern a face which is kind of
Dark to some of the hood you can't really see anything
Can I give it a look
Look my background
Do they look recognizable
Go ahead and roll me for stuff and see if you can see this
Oh my god
Shit right there
Mine
Oh yeah mine's mine
Do we see any like insignias
On the side that we may recognize
On the chariot at all
Nope it looks like every other one
Got it cool
So some drow are transporting this
Alright
I will go up to them actually
You see the
So Baldwin
You see Baldwin talking to one of the
Along with the captain
As they're loading
That big box that you know
You had gone through
Into their wagon
I'm just gonna go and be like
I was a heavy load you got there
But we got it and I'm gonna you know
Hit the
The chariot one time
Just saying
But we got it all loaded up for you
Have a good day I'm gonna go for a handshake
He kind of looks at you and walks away
The captain or Baldwin
No one of the dark elves
He kind of just looks at you and walks away
And then
Go ahead and roll me for stuff and check to see if you would know
I'm gonna give a good look and cast
Guidance
You're gonna see if you can hear what they're saying
Oh okay
16
16 plus 8
24
What languages do you speak
Druidic, Common
And Elvish
Yeah you wouldn't know this
What is it
What does it sound like
You know it's a language you've heard the Druid speak
Oh okay
Okay
It didn't sound like that
My recreation
No no okay so it's more maybe like an
Undercommon
Okay
What I figured with knowing them
You've drilled
With Druid before
You're like I don't know what you're saying but I know that it's a language
Got it
Yeah and Frank you're kind of just
Zipping around
Kind of watching this all go down
Yeah with a
And then you see Wallace kind of
You see Wallace actually flagging you down
Frankie thanks for the gift
Oh yeah not a problem
You give to him a magic flask
That has
Endless alcohol
So it's an endless flask instead of water
Yeah don't drink it all at once right
He looks at you
And he hands it over to you
I'll die I'll just knock back a little bit
Oh perfect
I'll take out my flask and do the same
I'm gonna say to Wallace
Well if our paths ever cross again
And I hope that they do
We'll have to tell each other all the
Stories that have happened in the meantime
Bite intermission
She asked
To Mark's lovely fiance
Made her strawberry shortcake
It was very good
She has a wonderful woman
Mark's lucky
Told him to adopt me
Mark loves his future wife
Do like
Every other weekend sort of thing
Like co-parenting
Well yes Wallace
Just click it back and then say
Well
Frankie's a good guy
A bit rough around the edges but
Me and him
We did a little dabbing together in the war
Just a little bit
What did you do?
It's hard to explain
I made them question
Why they even
You know trying
To get along
Yeah I think that you and
Ciofer might get along and I don't like that
I think you're gonna be my favorite
So I'm gonna hang out with you as much as possible
That's cool
Well we've already gotten off to a decent start
I'd say before
So why the hell's not
Yeah that sounds good to me
Got a lot of squares around here too
So trying to stick with some
Group that seems kind of cool at least
We've been seeing a lot of fey around recently
Besides your heart race you haven't ran into a
Fey creature in how many years?
Oh yeah no we gotta
You know why we gotta stick together
Absolutely
I tried convincing
Well I don't know
What to call her
But a friend of mine
To leave
When I made my way out of the fey wild
But
Well some people like
To stick to what they know
And not experience the world
So that's why I'm here
Yeah no my story's pretty similar
I got kicked out though
They couldn't handle
I'm just gonna adjust her to my full body
You understand
I do
For context as well I'm in my
Summer form so I'm just like bright
Golden yellow
You do seem like a summery person too
So it kinda works out
Theophras
I put my hand
Over his mouth
Wait
Theophras
I say in your head Theophras
Is it alright? Are you now
Yeah just get him off the street
You know away from the train
Get in a little bit
Let's find an inn or something
I motion to the group to like go further into the
City away from the city
And then Gerald kinda wave you guys off
And say you're gonna need a job let us know
We will
You see Remy kinda saying his goodbyes to
Lasagna I'm gonna give him one final
Hug and then he says
I left you surprised in that basket too
Ooh it's a bomb
I'm gonna take a look and see
What it is
There's a bottle of mead in there
From his pirate reserve
The peach mead
Pear
Yeah that's right
It was your first time having pear
So as we walk
Away from the train and we're like
We're meeting up with Theophras
I start talking I'm like oh my god
I'm so happy to get away from that train
Fuck that bartender his name
Stealing thief at oh
What's up dude
What's it around here Theophras
No no no please keep going you're on
Roll Yeah no no I'm not gonna keep
Going last time I kept talking to you I lost my
Name we'll just don't say your full name which is
See you've already learned a lesson I feel like
I'm really contributing here so
I would like to imagine
Is he still hanging out around here? Is he gonna be with us?
Well
Sam put a short
Yes
To put it long he's going to be
A useful ally in our quest
And also he's fey so we're keeping him
I'm just saying last time it was cause I was
Drunk I'm not that easy to steal from
I'm not gonna drunk around you
No no I get that vibe
And I like flash him
Like several bottles of that brandy
That you know we need a little persuasion
You know what I mean
I mean you can't be that bad
He's fine
I immediately down that bottle
A whole bottle
No
We'll see how far you can get
Am I there? Yes
I don't think this is good
It don't matter I got 24
I don't think that's good for your angry issues
He's chugging
Go ahead and want another one
Let's see if we can get this full chug going
I feel like I'd be changing chugging
16
I'll whisper into the mic
He's gonna steal the bag back
It's 25
Yeah you got it
There's no way he's gonna beat that
You're kinda distracted by the
By the alcohol he's chugging
You don't care
If there's anything that causes me to do a
Dex save just know I still am a
Barbarian
You have the danger sets up
I'd like to dodge the alcohol
Please
16 again
You can't make it through
16 didn't make me through
You chugged a whole bottle of brandy
Harder harder
You make it about a third
The way there and then you just kind of
Throwing it around and just
You're holding it in you're not throwing it up yet but you're just like
I slide
I slide him off me
Bad dog
He goes wobbling
He's immediately wobbling
He's doing that thing
That like dogs and cats do
Right before they're about to throw up and he's like
He's trying to
He's trying to hold together
He's thoroughly
Trashed because he just chugged
Almost full bottle of brandy
Third left
You ever seen a rock note
No bitch
And I tried to kill that last third
I'm gonna walk out
Like shaking after like third diamond
I'm full blown cheering
19
You are drunk as shit on the version throwing up
You're managing to keep it down because you're like
You notice Ciofer kind of walking in
You're just like I ain't no bitch
I ain't no bitch
As Ciofer walks up I kind of like you know
Nudge her with my elbow and check this shit out
So Nix you did finish the bottle but you were not there
I regret so much
Ciofer
Money
Buy me a bottle from Frankie
Who have my money
Hi Frankie
What was that thought
No it's
It's not where we're business concluded
Yeah yeah but you know
Business only really ends when
Well it sounds egotistical
When I decide it does
But cool
Cool cool cool cool cool cool
We're caving in
Do you
Like caving in
Like cage
No
I don't know what they do
You can't put a fire in a cage
Some people like cages I don't know
I can tell
Don't do cake shame in front of me
I'm gonna
I'm gonna finger gun Ciofer
And you'll hear a little voice in your head
Says everybody needs some
Somebody to keep around right
Frankie
And your back is like
Hey you know
Up and up
Don't do me wrong don't do you wrong
You already got your cut
Frankie
And then I'm going to ask Nix like
Okay Nix I need my bag
Alright I grab the bag
It's not on you anymore
Where's my bag Nix
But you're also drunk
You're a druggie shit right
God
I mean he did say he's drunk on his balls
I put it on my ballset
It's gone
You're probably wondering
You see Nix drunk and just scared him
Grabbing at his jugs
You see him just finally he's like what's in here
You see him pull his pants down like what's in here
If it was taken from invisibility
I also want to say I can see blind I can see invisibility
It wasn't invincible
You're just drunk and someone has fast hands
The pants come down and now it's a party
It's a party
Nix is fully nude
So my hands go on my hips
Do you have
My bag
I am like
Stripping at this point
Nix is getting balls naked
Once he gets completely naked I take the bag off my back
Slam it down I'm like don't worry I found it
I open it
The bag
Nix is naked you guys are in this alley
Nix is just naked
I throw my hands in the air and gesture to Nix
Wrong bag stop grabbing that one
Harun's trying to
Redress Nix like an angry toddler
I'm like
I trust you with one thing
I'm just like fake mad right now
I got an outfit but
That means you was
Felt down there right were you
Impressed
Put your fucking dick away
I need her response first
He's trying to
Flex my thing
I'm fighting him to put cancer back on
Gohan owe me a strength check
Gohan owe me a bonus strength check
He's trying to base you with it
I don't think you're having it
Just the shirt on
That's 19
Is it strength or athletics
Strength
It's still plus 7 for me
26
What'd you get
I got 19
Athletics I wanna beat you
No no no
What did she say
He's flexing everything
Stop fighting me
Short drunk angry man
I just need to know
Be bigger if you have the back
I pop rage
Is it real
While fighting me
I think this one isn't too bad actually
Let me double check
A fire explosion
Happens
Where's the explosion coming out of
His ass
Right off the tip
This one's not bad
I create an intangible
Let's say pixie
That can explode
And everything within
5 feet of it takes 1d6 of force damage
You just explode
You just create it
Or you can create it
I can create it
But this is my first surge
It doesn't happen to surge
Nevermind
That's pretty cool
You're a wild man
Can I try to wrestle the pants on him
For an athletics roll
He's raging
I know he's raging
You are welcome to go
I want to try
You can try but he's going to have to oppose you
And I have advantage now
Fuck
Nope
I just want to hear the stuff
You see him trying to get pants
He jumps up stomps on him
I'm about to stun and strike this fool
It's whatever man
I don't even care what she thinks
Great because I have great news
You guys ready for your cut
Dipshittery
Your distractions for the card game
And your job
I was actually doing my damn job
Your harvest was getting good with the whole guard
He was getting good with the guards
Even Frankie had a part
So I'm kind of okay with him being here
Like I said you had your cut
If you remember earlier
I tossed him a bunch of money before aspecting
Now I'm going to hand each of you
A bag of 2000 gold
Oh my god
Can I have my other money too?
How much was your other money?
I still have it written down in the air
I didn't add it to mine
Yeah it was 523
If Nick says he's starting to draw any sort of attention outside of us by being angry and naked
I'd like to do something about that
He has the bandicles
He is still like yelling
It's getting worse
Harun is still trying to fight
He's stomping and just not
You see him angrily starting to pull his pants up
And still just yelling
If he's starting to pull his pants up
Then I'm fine with letting him continue his thrashing
Yeah he's put his pants on I'll stomp
Yeah
I'm pantsed on but I'm still mad
I'm probably going to cut off my rape soon
I mean you got 2000 gold
So I'm not sure if you're as mad now
I'm still a little mad
I just told you about my dick not being too impressive
So much money can make me feel good about that
I tried
I'm it-proportional
No it's at- it's dis-proportional
They called me tripod in the war
I swear to god
We'll meet another-
I think I might have wrote them
Oh no that definitely failed
4 plus 3
You see Harun immediately starting to-
He just starts running away
He just starts running
Is he-
He just starts sprinting
If I'm full sprinting I could use
No hold on
Because I know he's quicker than everybody
I will just cast hold person
I'll cast hold person
And end at the second level
I'd like to cast
Suggestion
And just
Say Harun chill out man it's okay
It's all good
I need you to make a
I need you to make a decision
As you're running away
You hear in your head
Or out loud
You said out loud right?
Oh no I got a 6
A fail is good
So that suggestion is less of a suggestion now
And more of what you're up to
Just to chill out?
It's not that big a deal
It did run
So I'm just like
Ugh
Frankie
Do you have any bottles to sell me?
And uh
I just want to throw out that um
Unless I start concentrating on something else
This is the next 8 hours of Harun
I need a bottle
Just relax
Just go find a chair and sit in it
He's gonna try to purchase a bottle from you
Yeah
You can price it however much you want
It was 50
Well Harun I think
You also just saw him get 2000 gold
Oh no
You are a bit of a
A silver tongue devil
Bit of a snake on yourself
You're a good guy
That's never been proven in court
Cut that cut that cut that
Redacted
Yeah Harun
This one's on the house
I'll just hand him a bottle
Thank you
And then I'm gonna just take it and put it in my bag of stuff
Yeah
Do you know what that's about?
No idea
You don't know what that's about?
Oh the war thing
Oh no no you can say it out
War, he's fine
I was not getting framed
Harun was in the war
He's in a weird train
I'm immediately gonna ask
Can you tell us about your time in the war?
I had five people like you guys did
We were in the same unit
How many people did you kill with your hands?
Yes
Aw man sick me too
He's also gonna say
Hey I wrote notes about everyone
Did you get the tripod thing in your notes?
I swear to god it happened
Actually he is right
Yeah
I'm surprised you were there for that
He knows because he made a map of it
When he says he's right I immediately look out the offer
I'm like see, not lying, see what you gotta say
You're looking at the notes and you remember the date
You're like oh yeah
Oh yeah I tell you the day I remember I heard it
I tell you the day I remember I heard it
I'm gonna turn to you and I'm like
Okay okay okay okay
This is like such a rare chance
Do you know who Jacoba is?
No
There's not many
I think we rolled on this already I think I did
We did
He did remember
I remember that he was another warforge
And he was made around the same time as me
But I think that's all you said I remembered
Oh and
I rolled again because I was drunk
You were drunk as shit right now
Oh shit
Don't give me a chance
I guess so
You had to roll again
I would like to say Frankie also knew a little bit about
About him
Frankie you knew about his creator
And you knew how to read
Abyssal as well
Yeah
No one really asked questions about it
They kind of just
I'm like pressing him because now I'm worried about
His triggering
Of war
I'm pressing about his maker
His family
I'm trying to get as much information as I can out of you right now
I don't
I think I do remember
My maker's name
Do you remember the name? You don't remember
But I remember more about the female I think
Yeah because you lost a lot of your memory
Do you only remember bits and pieces of
My maker foot
And then I'm going to check my notes
Marith the cannon
Yeah Marith or something like that
And I'm going to say
But the lady was really nice
Who's the lady?
That was lady
I wrote it down I swear to god
Fuck me
Oh the lady
Eladrin
E-L-A-Y-D-R-E-N
It sounds very close to the Latin
Yeah
E-L-A-Y-D-R-E-N
And that's lady eladrin
And the other person's name is
Marith the cannon
I got his
But I'm going to say
She was really nice
She had a lot of stuff
I don't remember
How can we
You say you don't remember a lot of things
Why is that?
I don't remember
You can go ahead and roll me
That history check so you can know it
Oh yeah so with disadvantage
You are fucking plastered
You just chugged an entire bottle
So even with disadvantage I got 16
Without disadvantage I would have got a 21
But I'm still happy with my 16
16
You remembering from the war
Because you are a bit of a magic user
yourself you kind of know that this is
He was the main maker
Of the war forges so you know this is the person
That was responsible for making
All the war forges
These monstrosities
The illegal ones
I was made too new
To be correct for the timeline of when they should have
Been stopped being made
You do know that they did stop making them at some point
He was made after that
One last question
Luther Shadowbreaker
Do you know him?
Do you know Luther Shadowbreaker?
What house are you part of?
No you wouldn't know
No
Maybe next time buddy
You go ahead and roll me a history check
16
You recognize that name?
Because he is part of the same house as you
But they don't know
Telling you the house of shadows
Is a gigantic fucking umbrella
Corporation
This is secretly like
Illuminati
Someone says they are hidden in the shadows
House of shadows is meta
Wow
Look at zuckerberg you watch out
That's the big baddest
Fucking mark zuck
He's the vampire king
He's the information burger
Because he has all your information
The big bad's name is zark fuckerberg
The boss battles just him in an MMA fight
He's got a jeweler in the yard
So you recognize that name?
Okay
You're kind of taking it back on it
I don't think anyone noticed
You noticed it
I didn't notice it
Maybe
How good is your perception? What's your passive?
My passive perception is 16
Lasagna's got it
I definitely be working to keep my
Expressionist as neutral as possible
Lasagna's probably not noticing this
Go ahead and roll me an insight check
This is a whole conversation
I don't know
22
Go ahead and roll exceptions
I'm going to match him 22 to 22
You kind of
You notice it
You've got a quick glance but you don't really notice him
You looked up when you said it
You kind of turn and look and he just kind of matches your gaze
Okay
After Sera represses her room for all the information
You're thinking that he knows something that you don't?
I'm going to point out the marking on his neck
I know a lot of things
I like to know information is king
Small people with a massive information
Can take out a king with no information
You know what that marking is on the side of his neck?
I'll go ahead and look at it
Gonzo
He's made the last match
You also know that this is a
Manic to stamp on his back
Which is what you told them
Which is how they find out
I'm going to see if I recognize the stamp on his back
What do I roll?
Do you speak Abyssum?
You wouldn't want to read it?
You really aren't too familiar with it?
It's not in a language that I understand
So it's out of my wheelhouse
I have a question right in front of me like that
It's not a good thing
It's a liability
Well, I'm not going to argue with you
Yeah, but look, they like her room
So I'm going to keep them around
You do remember that Frankie?
Frankie is the one who told you what it meant
I would definitely press them more
Since you're going to be
You know
One of the gang
One of the gang shares it
That was a great trick
To calm him down
It's less of a trick and more of
Nah, I think that is a trick
Game recognized
Game
He knows what he did because you're imagining it
So what do you know about
The markings
Tolani is illegal
Tolani is too new
Go on and roll your history check
13
So you know that
It's kind of the same thing
You know that he's made like an
After time paper where he should have been met
He's considered one of the
More rare ones because he's
Kind of illegal
It just means he's made one of the
Last batch was made
After
They cut off production
They were ordered to stop making them
Yeah
Well, I don't believe in coincidences
Remember anything else
About a girl now
Maybe
Does it say anywhere like where he was
Made at all
He just has his maker's
Mark on there
No
The light just says the last batch
And then marriage
Alright
Well this is definitely a lead
That's for sure
Now that he's
In the party can I do like
Not an investigation
Perception check just to kind of see what Frankie has on him
He's just rolling around
And talks
Go ahead and roll your history check
And get a read out of him
Perception
That's 50
Go ahead and just describe what Frankie looks like
Um
I think at this point
Frankie
Is
About 4 feet tall
Yeah so
He's been a little taller than you've normally seen him
Like a spell wore off
He grew, not grew but
Was actually about 4 feet tall
He's like
More of a
Slender build
Sitting around like
More 50 to 60 pounds
He's dressed in like
Like a
Suit
In a trench coat
So he has
Lots of pockets on the inside
Okay
Doesn't seem to be weighted down at all
No bags or nothing just
A suit in a trench coat
Pockets are holding
I've seen the trick of like him just vanishing stuff
You see him just put stuff in his pocket
You don't know if that's magic
You don't know what he's doing but
What's the weather like
You don't know in the area that we're in
Oh it's a bright and sunny day
Gotcha
It's, yeah it's about
Early, early afternoon now
After we're all kind of
Taking note of the way that Frankie looks
It's a bit of hot out for a
Trench coat don't you think
So
Now um
Are you one of those
Lies that's used
Exposing fairies
Sometimes yeah
Yeah yeah you can see that I have
On shirt and pants
Right now so maybe later
But hey
You pull it out whenever you want to
You're here, you're pretty
Drunk and hearing this so
I'll go Hugo
Right now? Right now and then
He says right now and I take our gloves back off
What
We just got them back on
Oh
Alright his clothes are off again
I'm gonna just minor illusion
A little sock over
A little privacy sock
Did he just put his dick sock on
You gotta make sure it's big enough
I'll make sure it's all filled out
Alright
Maybe not right at this moment
We just put your pants back on
You said right now
Is this literally a dick measuring contest
I'm trying not to make
No that's not a measurement
He put a sock on
I don't have one of those
And then I lay out and I flex my quads
And add for you
Blush a little bit and I'm just looking at the sky
I'm gonna make sure that minor illusion
Or change the illusion a little bit so there's a little smiley face at the end
I see it
And I pitch it even harder
I'm literally taking
Like a handkerchief and just throw it over your joke
I'm walking out of the alley
I don't know if you noticed this
But this is a very
Pious city
So
You're gonna make words I don't understand
You hear
What are you guys doing down there
I put my pants back on
So since I'm walking out of the alley
Do I see who's that
Yeah there's a couple of the town guards
Kind of walking through
They notice you guys kind of hanging in the alley
Yeah I immediately hide behind the biggest
Person in the group and start putting my clothes back on
So who's
Bigger between the two of you
Is it how tall is your holler's
Yeah so your holler's probably the biggest
Actually your holler's is moving away from you guys
Yeah I'm actively moving away
So the next thing you probably do is holler
Yeah then I go behind the zogna and I start getting dressed
Is he how tall is his holler's
He's like 6'6'4
He's taller but he's like super tall
Tall skinny man so you can hide behind him
I'm just going to be like we're coming out
You know we're walking out right now
We just got one of us
Tripped and he's trying to get up
They look at Nix because he's still this weak to rock
And like
Just take care of him he doesn't look like he's
Well I'll make sure
He keeps the city
Clean
Is this all the fighting
Which by the way
Where's the nearest inn around here
Oh
We're guards
We're not tour guides
You don't live here
You walk the city all day right
We're fine just leave him alone
Get him good and then we're out
I'm just saying you live here you can't help us out man
Nix shut the fuck up
What do these guards look like
They are
Two tall humans
Oh just humans
How tall
They're 1'6'4
They're taller but not as tall as you
And they're pretty well built
They have some chainmail on
And being seen as the house of the silver flame
Alright we're going to be leaving so
Just let us help our friend
And then we're going to where we need to go
We're here on business
Alright just make sure you uh
Super official business
Just make sure you and your son get out of here
Yes of course
He's a fine boy
He says that and I jump up on your hearts
Carry me papa
Fuck
You're drunk
Or athletic
Go ahead and do what you're athletic
I'd like to inspire him
Go get him
Get on him
That's a D8
Get on up there
Get on up now
16
Are you at all opposing this or are you just letting him get on you
Come on now boy
Get on the way brah
He kind of hunches over as you like halfway through
You're going to hunch over
And he's already climbing on
He's on you though
Can I roll animal handling
This is a jump
Oh that's fine
Is it because you're handling a snake
No it's because I'm handling this fucking animal
That's a snake
But do you see how the mother's like a little kid's townie kind just bumping him
Battle buddy formation
As you guys walk in the opposite way
Are the guards still there or did they happen to walk away
They're kind of waiting for you guys to walk
Leave the alley
I'm just going to ask them real quick
Is this a town that doesn't
Like magic or can I do magic here
And it's not a big deal
I'm just new here and I just want to know
So I don't want to get anybody in trouble
We prefer that you not do that
That's all you gotta say sir
You tell me you aren't locals, you're dressed a little different.
Are you one of the dock workers?
No, I am not. Actually, we are here just temporarily until we move on to our next city that we
must go to.
Oh, did you come in one of the ships?
Yeah, we just dropped off.
Oh, okay. Well, make sure you stay out of trouble. We heard some loud yelling coming
from here, so...
What was that?
Facts?
Was it really us? I mean, you guys were drugging through everything.
Well, you guys...
Why not me, but someone?
Okay, alright.
Someone for finding me with a bottle of brandy for free, I don't know.
But yes, that's all I wanted to ask.
I would like to see if there's any signs for any type of jewelry shop or of the sort.
Yeah, go ahead and roll me a perception check, see if you can perceive it.
Oh, thank God.
I've been rolling my graph. So that is 23.
Yeah, you're walking around and you notice there are some... you get to like the town
square where there's different vendors and you notice a shop that have jewelry and other
fire...
I would like to go sell some jewelry.
Alright. Are you going by yourself or are you doing this alone?
If anyone's following me, I'm not going to stop them.
If I see you...
I'm not bringing attention to myself.
Yeah.
I'm just saying...
So you already know you're going or are you just going...
I'm just kind of drifting off.
I'm not like stealthy.
If she ever asks...
And now it's like she knows where she's going, I'm just going to follow C.O.
I probably was going to follow her regardless.
Yeah, we know you're... we know you are.
I'm going to get off my back.
I tried to lead you.
So the other items I procured...
Yes.
Um, is it a lot of items to equal that value or is it like 3 or 4 items?
It's a sort.
Like roughly how many?
About 30.
Oh, fuck.
Yeah.
Oh, that's going to be awkward.
What?
Okay.
Don't worry about it.
So I would probably bring out...
Maybe I'm stealing some items.
I will bring out about five of the top pieces and see how much...
How are you walking and looking like?
I am still... my hair color is mine, which is like that platinum, but I'm still in that
fancy getup that was that last...
I'm trying to use my disguise to get it.
Okay.
So you see like a shop of high elf is running.
So...
I still look pretty high in the water.
Yeah.
So there is a high elf there.
I'm not going to go in.
Yeah.
All right.
So you see, is anybody else walking in with a seal run?
No.
I probably don't either.
I'd like to see your reaction.
Her rune is going to be immediately taking down the surroundings.
That's why I was like, I'm going to stay outside.
Perfect.
You see, as you're standing outside, you see her rune just walking around, looking around
just with big pieces of parchment.
Taking down maps, my man Haru, and I'm a cast guy, and that's why he's doing that.
Going away from 7-6, see how much you perceive where you're going here.
Okay.
You're always just staying outside or are you going in?
That D4 in there too.
Yeah, I get the little man off my back and I'm just going to be outside enjoying the
water, taking a lay of the land.
Oh right.
So you still have your flask on you, sir.
Yeah.
I'm keeping it.
You slip, fall, and you lose that paper.
Did you roll?
Uh...
That's not great.
Natural wins, huh?
Uh, it's a fallout.
Okay.
Let's see what my actual...
Natural wins?
It's not a one.
I'm a cartographer, so I get advantage on this.
I was going to say, I should have my proficiency bonus to this.
Because I don't remember what skill you have me use for this.
I'm just going to have you do a Perception and see how well you can perceive the area
as you're walking around.
Oh, this is just Perception to look?
Yeah.
As you're kind of looking around and trying to...
Oh, okay.
Well then...
You said a D4.
You can get a D4 in there, baby.
It's a one.
Uh, that's going to be a seven.
Yeah, you're kind of...
You tried so hard.
That guidance would not help at all.
You're kind of looking around and you notice as you're riding, you've been kind of frankly
looking around, you forgot you didn't have any ink left because you had used all of it
making the other maps.
And you've kind of just been jotting down and you realize, I haven't been using ink.
I thought I bought more ink from the last...
Yeah, but you hadn't been using it while you were riding because you were kind of frankly
looking around so you forgot to...
On the train?
No.
Right now...
No, you've got to reload it.
You've got to re-ink your pen.
Oh, I get what you mean.
So you're kind of just jotting.
You've been frankly jotting.
You're still focused on trying to focus and you didn't even notice that you weren't actually
writing anything.
Okay.
Then I would just go wait outside the store and just rethink my life.
You see...
You too see Arun come back with a blank piece of paper.
But it looked as if someone was scratching on it.
What'd you get, Harun?
Um...
What are they doing inside?
Cut to inside.
I'm just promising.
Alright, you see this older Elven man kind of looking at you and...
What's a fine young woman doing here?
Oh, we're here to, you know, exchange some old pompous jewelry for a new grade in summer.
I'm going to be wearing some of the items, but not the ones I'm giving him.
I'm going to be like, these are some old...
But daddy wants me to make sure I get my fair worth back.
Are you making any donations to the church while you're here?
Well, if it kept me a good deal, I guess, you know, then I'd have more to spare for the
church.
But daddy's so strict with what I come back with.
Well, let's see what you bring in.
I'm going to lay out the five...
Like, 25% of what I hold in.
So you have, um...
Let's see, how many items do you see you're putting down?
So, if I have like 20 to 30 items, I'm just taking a chunk out of that.
Okay, perfect.
Yeah, we'll say you're putting down like eight pieces of jewelry or something.
All right, so yeah, as you see, see if we're just going to lay out some necklaces, brooches,
earrings, and all this has diamonds, rubies, gold.
It's all ornate.
Emeralds?
No emeralds.
But you see, it's a mix and then you see a bracelet.
All this looks really expensive.
A pocket watch.
I was working, baby.
Working, that's for sure.
Getting that money's worth.
So, you just tell me the number to deduct off the one you gave me.
Yeah, um, and they kind of will look at you and say,
this is all yours?
Of course.
And like, I'm actively wearing like too much jewelry just to show them like I'm being honest.
Oh, you're showing them like the rest of it, yeah.
Yeah, but it's on me like I wear it every day.
Yeah, so you guys did notice, you guys did notice there's a bunch of pieces you didn't know
that you ever had before on her.
You see like a really big necklace on her chest with a big old diamond in the center.
What's underneath that necklace?
Tits.
Yeah, you see just-
That's why we didn't see it.
Rings, bracelets, some really nice studded earrings.
That's way too high up for me to see.
Yeah.
You've been looking somewhere else the entire time.
I'm perfectly at ass level.
That's all I can say about her.
She's wearing a dress, but you've been looking at her.
A sundress?
But yeah, um, he looks at you and says, um,
3000 gold?
These are, can we get it?
Five?
I feel like he'd be more accepting of five.
I know he spent way more than that.
How about we meet in the middle at four?
Because I do, not saying that I don't trust you and you look like a high end,
but I also have to, you know, refer to these and-
It's okay.
They might just-
It's such a small shop and you can't handle this much.
I totally understand.
I take the other ones like a round in.
42.
Are you taking the whole lot?
43.
45.
44?
If possible, I'd like to chime in right as she's looking a little downtrodden or,
you know, I'd like to just chime in and be like,
I really don't think Father will take less than five and accept it.
Surely there's something more you can do.
Go ahead and run persuasion check.
I'll help.
With advantage.
Yeah, I'll help.
I know you're giving them.
I don't need it.
The person said that's funny.
If you need a bonus for it, I'm going to 31.
Yeah, so he's kind of just looking at it and he's like,
you seem like good fellows, so I'll deal with this one time and I'll get those.
And you see him kind of just gather them and said, these are some nice pieces.
Hopefully you so much.
I'll let him know that you're the first stop.
You treat us right.
Make sure you know the church does appreciate donations.
So if you can, I'll be doing my part.
So I'll be my first stop.
And you seem counting out and he's a slow old man who's kind of just counting the stacks.
He's not looking at us.
And hands you a bag.
So who's all nervous?
You or just you?
I'm in here too.
I'm like fucking off walking around.
So I'm just kind of stumbling into you.
So I'm going to hand.
He's trying to find his engagement ring for 500 to you and be like,
let's start a little secret pocket.
Cool.
All right.
Even when I don't get laid, when I hang around you, there's still benefits.
All right.
I'll get it from the top.
Where you guys talking?
I'm trying to recreate them.
I would have tried to do it.
I've done a pretty just like while I'm there, obviously not trying to look around or anything,
but or look or move around, do a perception check for any churches and or ends.
Go ahead and do a perception check.
Once I'm out of that jewelry shop, I'm taking all that shit off.
I do not want to be a beacon of thievery.
You guys.
Pretty good band name.
Beacon of thievery.
You know, this is like a high and up place.
Yeah, I'm going to leave like a piece on or something.
I'm not wearing like the absorbent amount that I was.
30.
31 for my perception check.
Yeah.
So you notice it.
There is a church right around the corner because this is the church.
Most places around here.
You know, it's a church right around the corner.
And then you're looking for what else?
And yeah, so you notice that there's an in right across from the church.
Cool.
Can I look and see if there's like a weapons store?
Yeah, I can.
Well, perception for that is.
Yeah, perception checks.
It's a dirty 20 for me.
That is a 23 for me.
All right.
You what did you get dirty 20?
I see you're probably we also do notice silver walkout smiling and wearing it.
What are you still wearing?
I'm still wearing the like a large necklace that has like in a red center stone.
You see it looks like ball gown kind of necklace.
I look it over just real quick to see if it has a big emerald in it.
No, I'm a diamond.
It's a big ony piece on her.
All right.
As soon as I see that there isn't an emerald in it, I just kind of like raise my eyebrows
and then I go to look back in the street.
You just see him look down on your chest or you assume is your chest and then look away.
In your brain.
It's not green.
That's all I was looking for.
Racist.
What?
I totally forgot.
I'll have this.
I'm going to pass it off to you.
I still have the DeRionne family necklace.
So I'm like, I don't know what I'm going to do with it.
No one's going to.
I just like to be old and onto it and I give it to you.
This giant green one that we gave that the information.
This is just a pocket watch that we found.
Oh, pocket watch.
He's drunk.
He doesn't eat.
You're like, that's so sweet.
I'm like, not breaking eye contact.
Put it in a pocket.
You get no one.
Cool.
It's gone.
He's looking you in the eyes.
The eyes.
My single eye.
The whispering eye.
He is shorter than you.
He's just looking forward.
I have to look up when I talk to you.
If you're wearing a dress, you're wearing a dress.
She should call me.
Dirty 20.
All right.
So this is how you remember it.
You see your room kind of go back and you see him filling his pen with ink.
You see him run off and just start to jot the city down again.
So you do see there is a weapon shop down the way.
So you just close by.
I am now a juridicler, I guess.
In my jewelry, is there a big ass fucking diamond?
You have a, you're wearing it.
Yeah, the one.
Yeah.
Couldn't be broken in two pieces to be a spell component.
Quite possibly.
You know you have other diamonds in there as well.
Just a mental note.
Just in case.
Yeah.
I just wanted to say that.
Just in case.
Yeah, I just have a feeling.
I've been in the war, so I know shit goes down and they're good to have around you.
Yeah.
So you guys are in the port city and you didn't notice that deal go down.
You are here and you do have to try to find a way to get to the planes, to the intelligence
planes.
Yes.
And so yeah, so you did, so you, you spotted the weapon shop, so did you, and then you
spotted the inn.
You also went around and you saw the inn and the church.
Yeah, I'm still like walking around town where it looks like they'll let me and I'm trying
to like make a map.
He needs his map bad.
He needs it.
He's like, I'll draw this fucking blood.
Oil.
Yeah.
So yeah, so you guys are wandering around.
So you guys go into the weapon shop.
What time of the day is it?
Yeah, I'm going to be going to the weapon shop.
Yeah.
Can I just walk in and be like, your finest armor, sir.
Don't you already have good armor?
I have good shield and sword.
Armor is the one thing I don't have upgraded.
You walk in, you see a Dwarven woman.
Oh, okay.
I get real excited.
I'm looking her right eye, you know, me and her looking at eye to eye.
I'm like, Hey, can I, what's, what's your, some of your finest shield, swords and armor?
Kyle looks you up and down.
I'm like, I haven't seen the one in you in a while.
Yeah, I know.
We're a rare breed.
Kids are low on weight.
I bet she's braided downstairs.
She kind of sees, uh, what are you trying to get?
Well, as you can see, I show her my nice sword and shield.
I have this nice sword and shield, but I'm looking for armor to match.
Do you have anything?
Two heavy armors, please.
Medium armor for me.
Oh, heavy armor for me, please.
While you're looking at armor is a light armor for me.
All right.
Let's look up too much armor.
Because I now can wear heavy armor.
I lose a lot of advantages if I put on heavy armor.
It's a very specific type of cleric, sir.
And it's also a druid who can wear heavy armor.
Weird.
Yeah.
Armor bears.
Bear bears.
Someone see Narnia.
Yeah.
All right.
Let's see if we can get all the prizes for this year.
Yeah, I'm looking for the finest sword, shield, and armor.
I prefer armor.
But, you know, if I can't upgrade my sword and shield, I will.
It's not that it really catches my armor-wise.
In the meantime, anyone that's still outside will see me Scooby-Doo fashion pop through
hallways and alleyways.
Sometimes coming out of the left twice.
Didn't he just go that way?
I need to try to keep tabs on you because I know Warforged wandering the streets is not
for you.
Whatever is heavy.
I don't think I have enough for a full plate.
A plate would be about $1,500.
Oh, full plates?
$1,500?
Or is that just plate?
Well, for you, for the adjustment, probably about $2,000.
I kind of looked at you and was like, we'd have to make some adjustments for you.
What AC would that be?
Is that 18?
Yeah.
What's the strength?
Oh, shit.
That's a thing that I have to worry about?
Yep, you have to have at least strength of 15 to be able to wear it.
I don't.
Okay, so that's off the plate.
Yeah, so what is your strength?
Yeah, not 10.
Not 10?
No.
So you can't wear...the only thing that you can be able to wear that's...
Chainmail?
No, chainmail, you would need to have strength of 13.
Fuck!
You could wear 14.
Fuck!
Did not think about that.
Ringmail is 14.
Ringmail is the only one you'd be able to wear as heavy armor.
You still get this advantage.
It is AC of 14.
You could do medium though.
Yeah, you could do medium though.
What's medium then?
Like a chain shirt?
Medium armor?
Oh, I already have a chain shirt, that's right, which is...
Alright, 15.
I know that because I have a chain shirt.
Yeah, I have a chain shirt as well, plus my shield.
You could do half plate, then you would need a dex of at least...actually no, wait, no.
Disadvantage on itself, and you could do half plate, that would be 15 plus your dex.
Does that anything...with the half plate, is that any strength requirements?
No.
How much is that?
About...for you, you'd need to do a thousand.
And you said that's 15 plus my dex?
Yeah, 16 plus your dex is a max of two.
So you'd be able to get like 17 AC from that.
I would get 16 plus my shield.
And then you also disadvantage on self with that one.
Or you could always do brass plate, which would be 14 plus your dex.
I'll think about it. I'm gonna think about it while everybody else gets tinned too.
Yeah. What can I armor this for?
For...stunned leather?
If they have glamour...stunned leather, I would also do it like that.
Glamour weaves leather?
Yeah, it's armor that lets you change the look of your armor to clothes.
You don't see any of that kind of stuff here, just kind of your basic armor shop?
I'll just...
But there is stunted leather.
Perfect. Yeah, that, she'll charge you a 50 gold for that.
Yep.
God damn!
Yeah, light armor's pretty cheap.
And then is there any upgraded medium armor?
Depends how much money you got.
I have money.
How much?
Enough.
Is there magic weapons here that's not on top of shop?
Not on top of shop, this is kind of like your...
Oh, okay.
Oh, this way?
Oh, my bad.
Because I already have a plus two shield and sword, so would there be anything better than that here?
What, talking about the shield?
Uh, well, I was looking for armor mostly, but if there's not anything...
You know that the shield and sword you have already better, as good as not better than what they have here, so...
Okay, so would there be any forms of upgraded armor either then?
You have a lot of all your like regular standard armors.
Okay.
You know, if anywhere from like basic to all the way to like plate mail here.
So nothing special in here?
Not particularly, but you have...
She's gonna ask like, did you want a custom order?
A custom order, would that be plus anything or...
It depends on what you want made.
Uh, I'm okay for right now.
Yeah, if you had something in stock, I'd probably go for it.
Do you have anything that can help him with his anger issues?
I don't have anger issues.
Like maybe a helmet that allows him to stay calm more often?
Like a headband, that might be a better idea.
I walk up to the counter.
I'd like a long sword.
Alright.
How much? Are you trying to get like an upgraded one or you just want a long sword?
I just want a long sword. There's nothing...
Well, I think I'd spare one of those.
Plus two.
Oh.
Oh, never mind, sorry.
She's like, what the fuck? What are you cutting in my deals here?
I turned back to her. Actually, what do you have as far as arrows?
I have this long bow here that I can always use something for. It's very hungry.
I have your standard arrows. I have some other types.
You're pulling Halo Extra.
I'm listening.
I have some of these specialty ones that I made myself.
You see here, pull it out and it's wrapped in what looks like a rag with a little string coming out of it.
I check it out real quick.
You like this on fire, don't you?
Does it go boom or does it spurt more fire?
I wouldn't want to be around it because it does make a big pop and usually things go on fire.
Alright, how much for ten?
These are a little hard to acquire so that would be 50 gold.
That's fine.
I'll pitch in for ten more of those.
Unfortunately, I only have ten made. If you can get me more material, I usually only make...
I had these made on order for someone and they didn't come pick them up.
So this is something I can make.
I put the 50 gold on the counter.
Alright, so you're telling me you have no special armor and you're out of special arrows.
Yeah, like I said. I can do custom orders.
Okay, then I walk out.
You see as he's walking away, he's like, what's with Shrimp Dick over here?
Ha!
I don't know if he's ever said that.
Lissagna is going to laugh really loud when he hears that.
In my inventory, what do I jot that down as?
So they are... we'll say they're fire arrows.
Okay.
What's that extra D6 of damage?
That's an extra D8 fire damage.
D8 fire damage? Okay, okay.
I thought I was being a little generous there with the D6.
Is that one of the ones they got to do like a dex otherwise they stay on fire?
I mean, if they hit them, they'll just pop and explode.
Oh, they're just on fire. Okay, hell yeah.
I thought with fire, you usually have to spend your action to put yourself out.
Yeah.
It depends, yeah.
It's like if you fail, you're in danger or something.
Anybody else want to do anything at the shop?
Or if you need to make anything, I could...
I have expensive tastes now.
Break me.
Break pops sounds way more gold than I do though.
I try to have too much of the special equipment, a lot moves around here,
this being the port area, so I tend to just keep it stocked, whatever he usually sells.
I am looking for a magic shop.
I need to get this contraband money off of me.
Are you saying that out loud?
No.
You trying to launder some money?
Basically.
Lasagna man will cook the books a few times.
Just kidding.
Let the book cook some yam on you.
Cooking stuff.
Alright, so I'm down for a magical shop.
Did we ever find one?
You guys didn't look for one, but you also do know that you're looking for the inn and church,
which you and her room have.
But you do know there's a magic shop around here since...
This is the big town square where...
We're going to try to hit it before the day's up.
Alright.
You walk into this little shop, just a little potion shop,
you see a glass counter and everything else.
You see some of the basic items for casting, just your regular stuff.
Quills and other parts and stuff like that.
A lot of components for spells everywhere, so this is a nice little spell shop.
Her room will follow you in if you were with me anyways.
I'm definitely going to go in there.
Welcome to our inn.
Any magical items in there?
Go in there and look for things.
Can I also?
Mm-hmm.
Guidance.
I'm just going to go straight up to the guy and be like,
do you have any magical weapons or armor here?
Depends how much a woman spends.
I'm going to spend pretty penny.
27.
You said perception?
Yes.
Okay, so a dirty 20.
You notice there's a lot of items behind the counter.
There is glass cases for some of the items.
You're wondering, you're like, yeah, it might be magic if they're behind all that.
Let's specifically look for weapons and rings.
There is a guard inside as well.
Oh, I'm not trying to steal anything.
With your perception, just letting you know what you see.
There is a guard who kind of just greets you guys and says hi as you walk in.
He's a human with a...he's wearing a plate.
Ha, human.
He's probably like 30 years old.
Youngin'.
Yeah, so he kind of greets you.
There's like an older elven gentleman there.
And he just looks at you guys and says, whoa, hello.
We're just looking for something.
But yeah, Nick's kind of interrupted him and just kind of went up and started asking about the magic.
He's like, oh, yeah.
Okay.
Well, I have some items.
I bet that's how much you're willing to spend.
I'm willing to spend a lot.
Okay.
How much is a lot?
You know, enough money to get me something really nice.
I already have some pretty decent materials on me and I would be looking for something at least this level or higher.
I mean, what kind of items are you looking for?
Weapons.
Weapons, shields, or armor.
Let me see what I have.
Let's see, let's see.
Go ahead and roll me a D8 here.
Guys.
While Nick's is doing this, is the long sword on him visible?
Yeah.
I take it.
On Nick?
Yeah.
Okay.
You're going to grab it?
Yeah, I'm just going to grab it and then I'm going to put it on my back.
Oh, the extra one?
Yeah, the extra one.
Yeah, so you just feel, you just feel, your heart's just grabbing the sword for you.
My extra long one?
Yeah.
As long as I know it's not my main one, I wouldn't.
You just feel, you don't really know, you're kind of living board.
He did talk about it.
Yeah, he did talk about it.
You're assuming it's own.
Yeah.
Yeah, I lean down.
What do I owe you for this?
You can have it.
Oh, I give him two gold.
Nice.
Two gold richer.
I can buy you some arrows.
Again.
Let's see.
What did you roll me?
A seven.
So you, they have a set of armor.
Let's see.
The armor of fungal spores.
What does that do?
So it's a, while you're wearing this armor, you can take a bonus action to make armor
and get poisonous spores when you fill a 10 foot radius sphere center around you.
Someone's got to roll a DC of.
Dude, if you're tanking.
I'm thinking about it.
I got to see if there's shields or weapons, but I might go get that.
So he just got like the coolest shit ever is what I'm hearing.
So that's one of the items they have.
So that's an item they have.
So it was like this one will run you about 1500.
Okay.
I could do that.
What other armors or weapons do you have?
I have weapons.
We, these are just pieces that we get as travelers come in.
So as far as weapons go.
I need daggers.
Oh, those I do.
And she pulls out a few daggers.
Like there are five different daggers.
Basically like above game.
I'm looking for like some way to either partner with like replace my rapier with like a plus one of something high.
I'm just a standard dagger or something that returns.
So there's like playing time of game.
Something of like a returning dagger.
I need it.
I need it off hand.
Go ahead.
Check and see.
Well, I mean, you can ask.
Yeah.
He pulls out.
There's three different daggers.
You have this one.
There are three different daggers and then two or eight ones.
These aren't magic, but they are.
I mean, there's daggers.
I'm looking for a long sword personally.
No long swords, but I do have a flail.
Okay.
What kind of flail?
Let me see.
This one, when you strike someone, it does a little poison damage.
I wouldn't touch the bars on there.
Okay.
Well, I let you.
I got to think.
How much is that?
That one, about 2000.
Okay.
I got some things to think about.
Show me your daggers.
I have things to think about.
I have a poison dagger.
You can poison someone.
I don't know.
I was like, I have that and I hold out the dagger.
Oh, okay.
You need a pair.
Well, I do have...
And then it kind of looks around.
You guys are in a...
Kind of like a...
Looks you up and down, kind of goes to shake your hand, and kind of is looking for...
Kind of trying to look for something.
I'm going to shake with the opposite hand that you usually do, so I might drag and touch
you.
You notice a similar mark.
Yeah.
So you notice that...
So we're both shaking with the left hand.
Yeah, yeah.
Let's see if anybody...
I don't know if anybody would notice that, but...
You would.
I would.
My passive perception of 18.
Yeah.
You kind of...
You notice that the weird exchange of the...
They kind of just stopped and just shook hands.
Some weird handshake.
Yeah.
You definitely notice, because you saw...
You're like, I have one of those.
What?
Don't tell me you have a sad...
My passive perception is 14.
Not really.
You just saw an awkward exchange of...
They kind of just shook hands and it was kind of weird.
Oh, I'll let you know.
I'll let you know.
put off by this. I think when it was like forum, where it's like a high forum.
Yeah, left arm. I was like, I don't know man, as long as she's got cool weapons and armor, I'm game.
I was like, if you want a little more bite, this one does macrotic damage.
You have my interest. What would you part with for a friend?
For a friend, I would say 1500.
1500.
It does 1d8 necrotic.
Roll in and say it. So speaking of friends, I'll flash her the little...
You're starting to have a kid in science.
I'm not gonna rain that.
I'm gonna use the spear fingers.
She notices that you just flash her and she gives you a little wink.
So what do you need a friend?
I'm in need of some special instruments. Things that wouldn't attract attention but give you little something something.
What do you need of?
Really anything interesting I think.
Instruments.
I haven't come across a lot of those recently.
I do some magic rings.
I have a ring of fireball.
With full charges.
Excellent.
I do have a ring of wild chip.
That one will run you
some money.
I also have a ring that...
It makes you...
You can kind of talk to animals with it.
They don't have much interesting...
I already have...
I got a cousin who
has a matching one.
The first one is interesting.
The second one, the ring of wild chip.
It does take a charge but I got it from
a friend. It is expensive though.
He said he wanted to battle against some wizard.
It can take a day or so.
What about the fireball one?
Does that one recharge?
It only has 5 charges.
What does that one cost?
For a friend like yourself.
I would give it to you at $1,000.
What about staff?
Healing?
How much does the wild chip one...
How rude.
Do you want to see what it's like my friend?
You're not going to like poop in it.
You're going to feel a few different things that you haven't felt before.
Sounds like someone is trying to experience their wild side.
How much is the other one?
That one will run $5,000. That one is quite rare.
It does recharge and whatnot.
That one is a homebrew thing.
Nothing like that but if you have
a long case and you see this
long bronze rod
and pulls it out
and you see the flame
comes from the top of it.
It's a tiki torch.
What does it do?
It's a staff of fire.
It doesn't just have fire coming out of it?
Is that all it does?
This thing has 10 charges in it.
You can use it in action to expend one or more of its charges
to cast one of the following spells.
Burning hands, fireball, wall of fire.
The staff regains
1d6 plus 4 expended charges daily at dawn.
How much is that?
That one will cost you a pretty penny.
That's $3,000.
I'm going to put this bluntly with you.
How about we put $2,500 and if anybody has any questions I'll let them know
that this came from your shop.
Who taught you how to negotiate?
I'm a fair and honest person.
Where else are you going to find one of these?
Friends and family.
How many have you ran into?
I'm from the south.
I'll put 500.
See if we can get you the rest of it.
You see
just pile it up and just
hand you the staff.
Since we're talking about the money, I'll put it here.
If you spend the last slot you have to roll a d20.
If you roll one the staff will give you the story.
What is it called? Staff of Fire.
There it is.
I just customed a dagger.
The dagger?
Mark off your gold.
I took $2,000 out.
Such a generous, thoughtful
individual.
I'm never going to give a CO4 up.
As I'm holding the staff I'm going to give her a nice smirk.
Now that I'm reading it it's pretty cool.
Do you have any potions?
I sure do. I've got healing potions,
potions that can bring you green fire, water.
I don't need to breathe.
I can just disappear.
You know what I mean? In both senses.
Yes, yes, yes.
Do you have any magic armors that are light and nimble?
Right now I'm the only one that's got a spore and I've got a glamour weave robe if you want that.
I need a glamour weave robe.
It kind of
helps your potions here.
I have the cloak about the pack already.
The glamour weave is a different glamour weave.
We just layered up.
It's like an illusionary cloak that you could wear.
You can use it as a bonus action
to create an illusionary pattern on your clothes.
It could make you look invisible.
The cloak at Link County was expensive.
I'll just
slide
a sack of that 5k to the
wall table.
He just hands the sack over nonchalantly.
So,
the armor costs 2 grand, the weapon costs 1,500. That was before you found out you were friends with my friends.
I have
3,000 flat.
Can I get a 500 gold discount?
For both. Because you know before you said that you didn't know you were friends with my friends.
Since we got friends, that makes us friends.
He's not as smooth as we are friends.
I'm like, hey, you know how you're a spy.
I'm also a spy.
I got a one.
I didn't know if I said we were friends.
Could you hook a friends friend up?
I did get some discounts.
I'll just slide over a 500.
It's good.
I am now dead broke. I appreciate you.
It was the flail that did poison damage and then the sword armor.
That does 1d6 poison.
I have my longbow on my back.
It's the same flail plus the 1d6 poison.
What was the armor?
Armor spores.
Is there anything you can do with my bow?
I don't think I can do anything with it.
I have a
2,000 gold discount.
I have some
magical things you can put on your arrows.
I'm already good
as far as all of that is concerned. Thank you.
I have some stuff you can coat your arrows with.
I'm trying to be polite. I'm not interested.
How much is that?
I have
vials of poison you can do to coat
onto your arrows.
How much would that be for how many doses?
I have darts I throw sometimes.
I'll say
100 gold for this bottle and I'll have 10 uses.
That's good.
How much is it?
100.
How many do you say?
100.
10 uses.
As we're doing that,
we're going to be departing town soon.
Where would I be able to get
a full
horse's covered cart
for a long distance?
The guards are
running everything around here.
I was worried about that.
Some places
don't work around it.
I still have to pay a fee to the church.
Would I be able to pay you
a new cart for me?
It depends on how much you roll in that.
Maybe I should ask the church first.
I'm in the business after all.
We'll see how this church goes.
Church.
How much for health potions?
I'm just like cold.
I can't find the armor.
Armor of
Fungus Wars.
It's showing up for me.
You might be in one of the
packs.
It should be.
How many people are grouped up there?
Just fireball.
What is it? A tent clip room?
I didn't ask how big the room was.
I found a room for the dexterous.
I'm fine.
I can move and groove.
I totally forgot last time you took a sit on the gin.
When I shot a deep V through everybody
I was like, he's really fine.
Lightning.
We should get you
the bracers of flying daggers.
That's my subclass. I can create
daggers with my mind.
They're basically a standard.
I'll try to get a little more kick.
If I got close.
You said 50, 100?
50 for a standard.
Remember the difference between them?
Healing is 2d4
plus 2.
Greater healing is 4d4 plus 4.
Superior is 8d4 plus 8.
200.
I'm going to get
6 of them.
3 for 1200.
Heal healing potions.
I don't have 5 right now.
I'll take the 5 then.
Clean me out.
That was 200 each? Yep.
If anybody
wants to know where we got this from, who can we tell?
This is
Arnie's.
Arnie's is what they call me.
It gives you
a little wink. That's my name.
Anything else I can do for you?
You have a lovely company.
Nope. I think we're probably going to...
It's almost night time.
I feel like we had a long trip. What do you guys say we go to Arnie and call it a night?
I would love that.
Go to the inn right across from the church.
Get a room for all of us.
You can share a room up to you guys.
Everybody in one room. Nick's in another.
Purely for Seob.
I was going to say, he's the one that needs 8 hours.
I made it hours with him.
The inn will be
too old a night. If you want your own room, I can share a room.
I'll put two going down and then I'll say
anybody can share with me if they want.
I give my one single gold. I'll bunk with whoever I can.
I have four rooms available right now.
I immediately get a key.
I look over to Nick's. Since you spent all of your
hard earned money, I suppose that I can
foot you the bill. Or you can foot me the bill.
I put down two gold and I'll share a room with Nick's.
Frankie, you share the room.
Howrono don't need to sleep.
There is one room available.
You have your own room.
I'm not going to spend two gold on one room.
I'm dropping a bucket?
It's a very expensive bucket.
It's totally fine.
I'm not going to ask how much gold you have.
I'll lean forward with my hand.
If I were to try to pawn you a gold, I'd just give you a firm handshake.
Thanks.
Before everybody splits off to their rooms,
he's going to pass out
a healing potion to Lagnar,
Ziafra, Yharis, and Nix.
Then he's going to give a regular healing potion to Frankie.
Not a grader.
You guys each a grader and he got a regular.
I'll take it from Harun.
I'll lean in and say,
Hey Harun, you want to make a deal?
What kind of deal?
A wild one.
What do you want?
That means sex.
I'm going to whisper it awkwardly loud to everybody.
Sex? You want.
Sex is for other people.
This is a different kind of favor.
Okay.
I'll slip the ring.
My sweet summer child.
So it was the ring of Wild Shape?
Is that literally just Wild Shape?
I'm just throwing you guys a ring.
Some of the magic.
We'll come up with that.
I'm just curious if you thought about that.
I just want to make a class.
It's not going to be something crazy.
It's going to be like,
Rating 1 or whatever.
I think 1 is like a bear's shit.
I was more just thinking how fun it would be to have a robot.
Is this a heartbeat?
I experienced the limit too.
An animal that knows martial arts.
Would you say that you would be a Kung Fu Panda?
I wouldn't say that, but people would.
Somebody might.
I don't know if that's an actual item.
Good job, Gonzo.
Thank you, Daddy.
It's definitely not that.
You guys go to the info or anything, it would be a good time to call it.
I don't know about you guys.
We are old.
I'm like 7.
Wow.