I'm just excited that I can whisper to Will.
You can always whisper to me.
Okay, I'll whisper.
But either way, oh shit, hold on, we're coming in hot.
We're coming in hot there.
We're gonna have to turn it down.
See, this is why-
I was coming in hot.
What?
Oh, me.
I was coming in hot.
That's, yeah.
But either way, welcome everyone.
This is-
Weird to come cold.
This is Frickin' Nerds.
Frickin' Nerds.
A D&D podcast where six friends play Dungeons & Dragons.
Wahoo.
So, there is a few things that we were gonna kinda do today.
Mark had an idea.
Do you wanna go ahead and explain to everybody what it is?
Well, a good friend over here, the DM,
has a fancy full fetish?
I wouldn't say that.
I wouldn't look at it properly.
Is an enjoyment for random crazy socks.
Now, Gonzo, what are you wearing?
Well, I got a tank top on and some shorts.
We're talking about your socks.
Well, I got a Garfield tank top on and orange shorts
to match and then Garfield socks.
What?
So now I'm matching and they're my Garfield tuxedo socks
because this is a fanciful occasion.
God, those terrify me in just the right ways.
Oh God, don't touch me with it though.
I mean, they are some cute socks.
But yes, that is one thing that we talked about
because our DM, Gonzo, he wears fucking fancy socks
every goddamn day.
What was the pun?
What's the pun for the socks?
Yeah, what's the pun?
Oh, I didn't want the pun, but I can tell you the one.
You should come back to you.
I think he's gonna hate Mondays.
Fuck Mondays.
No, Monday was a bad day for me.
So, we'll come back to you on that pun?
Yeah.
All right.
As he searches his catalog.
His written catalogs.
Every time he comes up with that idea,
he has to write it down.
I always have a pun ready for him.
I come up with them on the spot on the day.
I'm so proud of you.
That's actually how Gonzo and I met
is he used to post his socks on Yik Yak,
if anybody remembers that app.
On Snapchat.
Yeah, and on Snapchat as well.
And then when we met eventually, he's like,
oh yeah, I do these like fun little sock snaps.
I'm like, oh my God, you're the guy.
I had been following like his fucking posts for months.
And I had no idea who it was because it was all anonymous.
And then after I legitimately felt like
I met a fucking celebrity.
I'm not even joking.
What the fuck is Yik Yak?
It is a now defunct anonymous app
that was used primarily by college students
to sell drugs and fuck each other.
Oh, it was like Twitter, but like weirder.
Yeah.
And anonymous.
Yeah.
It was like campus funded for chat.
Pretty much, yeah.
Yeah.
That sounds.
People fucked it up for not sponsoring.
Oh, I don't.
Yeah.
That sounds terrible.
It's anonymous?
How could this go wrong?
Good times though.
But then he was on a Snapchat and I was still on there
and people would come up to me and be like,
you're the sock guy.
Cause I would be like taking pictures of my socks.
Like, you're the guy.
I was like, it was pretty great.
College was fun.
It's where I met most of you.
Nothing to do with education.
That's how God intended it.
Hey, I got my degree.
I graduated.
I did things.
Me too.
That's what matters.
You graduated.
That's what matters.
It doesn't matter that I got kicked out
for like a semester.
It's fine.
I still want my bag.
You finished.
I didn't.
Just a little bit.
You don't have to suck it.
You don't have to suck the mic.
Just a little bit closer.
I'm gonna be out here like KDVS.
That's all.
I'm gonna be out here like KDVS.
One more thing that we wanted to talk about.
Do you want to also explain that one, Mark?
No, I did the first one.
I think you got the first one.
Okay, I got you.
I got you.
So the other idea is we're going to come up
with essentially opinions or fake facts.
False facts.
Are they false?
About the person next to you.
Are they?
You're not going to do the DM obviously,
but we're going to talk about our characters.
So.
My friends a boy.
Yeah, and then Gonzo is going to come up with one for one
of us.
We don't know who he's going to say, but yeah.
So what were you gonna say?
As an example, you were not doing the DM,
but if we were, we'd mentioned that we got him
from Craigslist.
Yes.
I followed the ad for a bunch of men looking for a good time
and I came for, I mean, I still had a good time,
but it was definitely a good time.
It was an ad for a dungeon master,
but it was, he thought it was the other dungeon master.
He was really hoping for like adoption and like,
well, but you're just here to be a DM.
I was like, but I brought all this loot.
He said, no, we can keep a little bit here.
I said, oh, okay.
Did we decide on the rotation and where we want to start?
We could go right.
We can go left.
Not that type of rotation.
We go right, we go left.
Do you want to start it?
Yeah, let's say we'll go right.
I believe this is the campaign that has your horse.
Yeah, your horse.
Go ahead and introduce yourself actually.
Go ahead and introduce yourself.
What's your character?
What level you are?
I don't think we've ever established what level we are.
We've been winging this.
We've been winging, we're just raw, we're raw dogging this.
Are we not sure of the overarching goal
of what the campaign is yet?
Wait, there's goals?
You're the DM.
No, but I followed you guys in the beginning.
Do you guys remember?
We're, goddammit.
We take big breaks.
Tracks.
Yeah, that's true.
I was on vacation.
Fuck you, Bronson.
What do you mean, tracks?
Well, my name is Mark and I play a warforged.
He's dressed in nice elven clothing,
kind of dressed almost like a samurai,
even though he only has a short sword.
He-
Sounds like this.
And that's the voice I chose for him
and we decided to keep it.
And Harun's tidbit for Y'Horus is-
He's actually a well-known author.
Hey, but don't forget Harun's PTSD.
PTSD war.
We have to roll a wisdom save for.
Yep.
A wisdom save war?
So Y'Horus, what do you think would be a false fact
about Will's character?
Go ahead and introduce yourself first, like, you know-
Hello, my character's name is Y'Horus Sithrith.
I am an Aladdin.
I am also beautiful in my summer season.
My class is a ranger.
We out here in the forest and the Feywild.
My level is the same as everybody else, which is five.
Cinco.
Wait.
Yes.
We're level five?
Yeah.
I thought we, wait, hold on, let me just double check here.
I swear to God, I thought we-
No, we're not that high up.
I mean, let me just make sure,
cause I think I have level six cast.
We're pulling some risky stuff, guys.
I swear to God.
We're level five. I almost died.
I swear to God, I thought we were level six.
So, if I'm right-
Yeah, go right ahead, cause I gotta change this now.
Mabuburi.
That is the big thing about my character,
is, you know, Aladdin, ranger, him good, him yellow,
him summer, and a little aggressive.
And I think that a fun little fact
that everyone should know about Will's character,
Mr. Moosnuckle.
Lasagna.
Lasagna Moosnuckle.
That's the point, that's the point of it.
Yeah.
Is that he's not the best cook.
That would definitely be a false fact.
That's probably the hardest hitting one we're gonna have.
Little-
I feel like shots are being fired.
A little false on the fact, or, anyway.
Cook off?
There he is.
Wow.
I'm offended.
I'm a little offended there, you know?
It's false.
You're not wrong, but I'm still offended.
You're taking it as a compliment,
because you know it's different.
You guys should respect.
Yeah, she should call her.
All right, well, I am Will.
God damn.
I am Will, or Will I am, I don't know yet.
I am Lasagna Mooskind.
I am a druid, formerly level six druid,
but now level five druid.
Because-
You guys will be there soon,
you guys will be there soon.
I swear to God, I thought we were level six.
You might have been.
Play the last recording.
Play it back, Jamie.
You see, I think it was even before that.
I think we got level, I thought we got level six
after we accepted the quest.
But I could be totally wrong.
We asked and he said no.
Ah, damn.
Oh, that's right.
I'm gonna have to, yeah, I'm gonna have to go
to the archives, because I swear to God,
I think it is level six.
And Soul of the Scrolls.
Basically, because there are some recordings
that actually did, you know, before this,
that weren't, didn't ever make the cut.
But the fake fact for Siofra,
ah, I was not, I'll be honest,
I was not expecting Siofra.
I had a few of them prepared for others, but not Siofra.
Right off the bat, Siofra, false fact, was once a man.
How do you know that's false though?
Ah, it's-
That deep edgy backstory, I'm gonna love it.
It's detachable.
Yes, I'm actually a robot.
Just for you.
I'm actually a robot.
I think I would have known.
So, as Will said, my name is Bronson Hammons,
but I play as Siofra, Falaria.
And she is a elf.
Her skin tone is very odd for elf,
like a pearly blue-esque skin.
She's about 5'10", and she constantly alters her appearance.
One moment you'll see her as this,
and the next, it changes.
Maybe I have daddy issues, who knows?
Strong maybe.
Yes, there you go.
That was a good one, I should have used that one.
I picked that bitch as from the moon.
Everybody needs daddy issues.
Yeah, come on, that was obvious.
That was implied.
Daddy issues are big for the moon.
Oh man.
And what was your character's name, Jules?
Nix.
Yeah, false fact about Nix.
Nix actually used to be my character's boyfriend.
He wishless.
That's a dagger in the heart.
That's a dagger in the heart of Nix.
Ah!
I'm gonna hurt him more than I hurt you.
Shut up and me.
He almost killed the Elven brother.
I saw it.
Yeah.
He's just like, I'm gonna risk it all.
I'm gonna risk it all.
She loves white knights, she loves white knights.
I look so cool.
I'm a shark king.
Let me just get off Harun real quick.
And pose.
They don't want uppies after that though,
because they'll be tired.
If she gives me uppies, I'm down.
To the sky, my lady.
So I am Jalen Boyd.
My character is Nix Tobelgate.
He is a gnome that was born with a little bit of magic,
therefore was kind of separated from society,
kicked out into the woods, made him real mad.
He also went to war.
Had a really bad time at war,
especially as a small guy, he had to prove himself.
Now he's got a chip on his shoulder.
Like a literal chip?
Like a chipped out piece of his shoulder actually.
Yeah.
From the war.
Yeah.
Then a false fact about Harun
is that he's a completely well adjusted individual.
Battle it.
Yeah.
You got it.
You sure.
We probably have mentioned it before,
we all like in that war that happened,
we all served in the same unit.
We didn't know each other like necessarily,
like Nix and I knew each other,
but yeah, we all did that.
That is also very true.
During the war?
What?
I said it's Joe Cohn.
All right, Gonzo, what do you got?
One for one of us.
Oh, like a random fun fact?
Yeah, about any one of us.
Oh, this is canon.
It's gonna be canon, right?
Well, no, this one's not canon.
Yeah, he is God.
He is God.
It can't be canon.
You know, I'm okay with that,
but we have the ability to veto it.
I'm gonna roll for you.
You canon.
Roll D6.
Oh, that's dangerous.
We have the opportunity to veto.
So it's gonna be, if he rolls a six and lands on me,
then we'll go to level six.
How about that?
Okay.
Oh, oh shit.
Level six.
He said level six, just to make sure.
I heard seven.
Oh, it's a five.
Oh.
It's Siofra.
Goddamn five.
Go ahead, go ahead, speak into the mic for me.
Ooh, let's see, let's see.
What are we gonna make for Siofra?
A mess.
Siofra also has mommy issues.
Yes.
Yes, canon.
Yes.
Yikes.
I don't need a mommy to have mommy issues.
Ooh.
I'm grimacing for the audience listening at home.
That's the purple guy, right?
Yeah, that's me.
Are you still burgers?
Yeah, well, no.
That's the hamburger-ler.
Come on.
You can't confuse grimace for the hamburger-ler.
How dare you?
I'm just a big royal looking nugget.
Hey, can you say that word?
King.
Yeah, I got the pass.
Careful.
We probably already are, Kingtiltso.
Half of this group is brown, so it's fine.
But only one of them looks black, so.
The NFL is gonna cancel us, that's for sure.
Jalen, or Nix has CTE, like we're gonna get canceled.
That's what he switched from ranger to barbarian, the CTE.
The CTE, it was what caused him to reclass.
Listen, then.
As long as I don't end up in sport at all,
the NFL has no reason to come after me
and smoke in a pot of elvish bod.
We've got bigger things to worry about.
This recording volume is gonna be screwed.
I know Will's just suffering over there.
Oh, it's okay, it's totally fine.
It's working out, we're making it work.
I've obviously heard the recording,
so I'm gonna leave it to you guys.
If you would like me to do it, I can do it,
but I would rather you guys do the recap.
Because.
I want you to weave me a beautiful tale of our past.
Jesus Christ, no, I'm not gonna do that.
Well, so does his.
Would anybody like to do the recap?
Because I feel like for me, it's cheating.
I can go ahead and try.
I believe in you.
Give it a try.
All right, Nyx, let's see how Nyx sees it.
How Nyx sees it?
Well, you know what?
A lot of cheeks.
Yeah.
Usually like this level.
Oh yeah, I forgot to add that Nyx is three feet tall
and considered small.
Yeah, that chip is actually a big strength.
And Ron, he's 0'5'10",
so he's at a real bad height for me.
Yeah.
Right at the kneecaps.
It's a real bad height for you.
Great height.
I'm just staring forward.
I'm just saying, I can give you things
standard that you've never had before.
Ah!
Don't wear a dress, that's covered.
Oh God.
So, last time.
Dragon Ball.
We needed, we were on the train
and we were looking for stuff to do.
When we noticed that the Alderman's brother
was on the train and he had a real fancy ring
and we were trying to steal the ring,
Siofra and Lasagna tried a little stealth mission.
Siofra went undercover, Lasagna was a mouse.
Well, you went undercover.
Yeah.
Siofra almost got fucked by a rich guy.
Yeah, I almost went literally undercover,
so it wasn't so bad.
But got out of it.
He passed out beforehand.
Thank God for booze.
Yeah.
I found out that the ring is in fact cursed
because we could not remove it off of the brother,
but it's also the same curse that was controlling
a vampire back in the city, if I am correct.
And that is where we last left off.
I think, I mean, that kind of covers it.
Oh, there was some gumbo involved.
There was gumbo involved.
You did forget to mention that.
Yeah, you forgot about the cook-off.
Oh yeah, there was a cook-off.
Everybody loved the gumbo.
Yeah.
He really needs to make sure you all know.
Everybody fucking loves a gumbo, goddamn it.
Yeah.
He won over the stingy chef, the high elf chef.
That is true.
Haruno was also running a stealth mission up top
and then blame Noels when he got caught.
By running across?
Yes.
Let's recap that.
His stealth of this.
How heavy are you?
Rough guess.
How heavy?
250.
I made a medal.
I say 250.
Probably at least.
I mean, he's pretty dense.
Metal on metal footsteps, full sprint.
We have some like, yeah.
Jumping across cars.
No, you're on him.
I was running across cars.
I was trying to do it stealthly.
I guess I was thinking that he would be hearing
all the wind and rustling, but not make the realization
that his feet clanking against the roof
where it's quiet inside would make some noise.
He definitely got caught.
He looks kinda like that's a weird one.
And when he came back down,
someone was yelling about how there was running on the roof.
And he said, oh, it might be Noels and went right back up.
And then this time actually stealth.
Hopefully we give Sia for some backup.
It looked like she didn't end up needing it,
but Rue really likes that roof.
It's a fun place.
Cause you don't have to breathe.
We all have to breathe.
And that's where oxygen gets low for us.
It gets low.
And if you get any of the runoff from that train,
it's gonna be nasty.
Can you give me that smoke right now?
Yeah, I think that was pretty much where we left off.
So Godzo, what do we pick up, bud?
All right, so we pick up.
It's morning.
You guys are kind of waking up to Sia
for coming back with a walk of shame.
Shoes in hand.
You're just,
Lazardo's just like,
Lazardo don't know what happens.
You guys are kind of just reconvening in the room.
Nick is kind of fuming still.
Comes back.
You see her look a little disheveled.
I pop her agent.
Yeah.
We're all in the A, baby.
What do you get?
Hopefully this one isn't bad.
It just explodes.
The magic rage.
Wild magic.
It just turns everything on fire.
Oh, this one's good.
Okay.
What do you got?
So when a creature hits me with an attack roll
before my rage ends,
it takes one D6 of force damage.
So I'm chilling.
Nothing too bad's happening here.
But I'm still pop rage.
You see the Alpha Rocket.
Lazardo's kind of already there
because he came back.
Harun, you guys are all kind of just
reconvening after everything.
Harun is not there.
Oh, Harun, he's still on the roof?
He's on the roof.
Oh, he's on the roof.
No one got him.
No one got Harun.
I thought we got you.
I thought we...
No, he said he was just fine staying up there
doing the night shift on the lower duties.
Oh, okay.
He went sentry mode.
I assume he's kind of not at the very back.
So maybe somebody did try to get him
and didn't want to risk going on the roof.
So he's just chilling.
He's having a good time.
You're in sentry mode so that you can rest
while you still watch.
And I'm still aware of everything around me.
I would like to believe that you have magnets
that just keep you from falling off.
Literally same.
I was thinking that same exact thing.
Just right on my butt.
Just keeps you right there.
That's why he was making so much noise the first time.
He's like, why am I sticking?
Where's our robot friend?
I know, and I was like,
I was like, you didn't think about running across a metal?
To be fair, none of us thought about the ramifications of that.
I know, that's why I was like,
oh, you want to go for it?
I'll go for it.
He was going to be walking,
but the metal on metal did not register.
A regular person in some boots walking might be fine,
but Harun definitely was not.
Yeah, you guys are reconvening.
Everyone except for Harun.
I want you guys to start out.
What are you guys saying to each other?
Lazago, you remember kind of what happened.
So what the fuck happened in there?
And you just see Nick's kind of pacing back and forth.
Just all right, calm down, calm down now, calm down.
I'm going to lean back and just like look at Mike up and down.
I'm like, why are you so happy?
Do we got to fuck him up?
We can fuck him up.
Oh, oh, are you in your feels?
No, I think of it.
Fuck what you do.
OK, I just want to make sure I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I don't even give a shit.
OK, I don't even give a shit.
But did he touch?
Are you going to be all right?
Doesn't matter if he did.
I just need to know, like we're teammates.
It doesn't fucking matter.
And she has the biggest smirk on her face right now.
I can assure you nothing happened.
I was hearing the whole thing and nothing happened.
Things were getting a little close.
He got to hear it and not Nick's.
You didn't want to be there to hear it to begin with,
let me tell you.
He was over there just like, I'm just
putting my hair in a ponytail with the biggest fucking smile.
We're just going to stop talking.
We're not going to bring that up, because we
need to talk about shit that is going down.
We found some papers talking about some goods, right, Siofra?
That is correct.
What kind of goods?
That's the thing, is they only said goods.
So not even anything in thieves can.
Our friend here knows thieves can't,
and she didn't identify it.
Direct letters.
That sort of ambiguity is very concerning.
So what I'm more concerned is if anyone
remembers that necklace that we gave to the information broker.
I do.
The same kind of gem, wasn't it?
Yeah.
Happened to have one on his hand.
Wanted it, but it's a little bonded to him.
Couldn't take it off.
Well, without a finger.
I still believe that that noble is being
used as some sort of puppet.
Same.
And this brings me to my next thing.
I think we need to see what's going on in the cargo area,
because what if they're transporting goods
that are aiding our enemy?
What if they're transporting more vampires?
They could be doing anything.
You said you could detect vampires, right?
I can.
How far?
Well, within the confines of the train, it'll be easy.
At least a mile out.
Can we try?
No reason not to.
It's more than just undead, though.
So if there's anything else that I pick up,
I'll be able to identify not exactly who,
but I will be able to have a general idea of, wow,
this might not work out so well.
Because of all the fey folk that are here, myself, yourself,
and everyone else, it'll be lost.
I assume that if I'm looking in the direction of the cargo
hold, and there is no one else in front of me,
that is of our kind, then I should
be able to find something.
But outside of that, those are very specific circumstances.
I don't believe I'm fey.
Wood Elves aren't fey.
I know he's fey.
He's a fey, not you.
Yeah.
I don't think she's a fey either.
So we are fey ancestry.
We're getting a little off topic.
Does anyone remember how that necklace was activated
when I happened to drop it onto our friend temporarily
to test it out?
Roll me a history check.
OK, that's what I was going to say.
Did we ever even see her do it?
I'm going to cast guidance on myself as well.
That's why I'm having you roll history check,
to see if you remember anything about it.
Ooh, 19 plus 1, and that's without any modifiers.
OK, well, you remember that you didn't see an activation,
but you heard something.
It was primordial, right?
You read something in primordial.
It was abyss.
Oh, yeah.
Mark, oh, you're not there, but.
That's why I was doing the metapig in the noise.
And stuff like that.
Words aren't real.
Would my character remember the phrase,
because she read it directly off of the last?
That was 15.
Fair enough.
Would I?
18.
Huh?
You didn't read the phrase.
Oh, damn.
I heard the phrase.
But you didn't understand the language.
So you wouldn't be able to.
I mean, it makes sense, but I could still kind of do it.
It's kind of like if you heard something in Spanish,
I'm like, Will, what was that?
Talk to me in Japanese right now.
Shit.
Sushi, California roll.
Boku wa Sekusuda isu.
No idea.
Ryan reads a lot of manga and anime and hentai.
Whoa, whoa.
Just because I work for a Japanese business
doesn't mean bottom text.
Anyway, let's get back to it.
But yes, I think we definitely need
to check to see what we have going on in the cargo hold.
See where we're moving.
What do y'all think?
Anybody else have any other ideas, a point of interest
that they want to check out?
I'm probably going to keep eyes on the Olden's brother.
I'm going to wink at Nix.
I will do that, too.
I'll be here with her.
Oh, my friend, I do not think that you
should be wasting your time.
Oh, I think you should go fuck yourself.
I'd have a better time doing that.
So yeah.
All right, so yeah, any of you guys
have even thought about where her room is?
Oh, it's still nighttime, right?
No, it's in the morning.
It's morning.
This is like morning.
I don't know who we're mourning, but.
Yeah, Siafra is walking in from her time.
Got it.
OK.
Everybody's waking up.
I think we go get our robot friend,
because I think he's still on watch for some weird reason.
Yeah, you guys wake up to the smell of breakfast.
Ooh.
Dude, well, he doesn't eat.
Do we want to do that first?
Yeah, you see immediately.
I'm going to go get Haru's while everybody go eat.
Yeah, you'll harvest it.
As soon as the smell hit, just be lying
and just went the other way.
That's true.
I asked the question rhetorically
and went to go eat breakfast.
As you were walking.
He might be this way.
I can smell him.
I'll pull stuff at this table and scout.
I'll go get Haru.
And I'm assuming he's at the cargo hold,
because he was keeping watch, right?
Yes.
OK.
You can go check.
All right.
Yeah, I'm assuming you're sitting down eating breakfast.
Yes.
Yeah.
You see Haru's immediately grabbing plate
and just start grabbing stuff.
What is on offer this morning?
There is garlic bread in the morning.
Garlic bread's been real popular lately.
Eggs and ham.
Just ruined.
A nice little porridge.
I grab a little bit of everything.
I broaden their horizons.
That's what I did.
You didn't teach him about when to have garlic bread.
Is there a wrong time to have garlic bread?
Absolutely fucking not.
Yeah, bro.
What the heck?
Breakfast, lunch, and dinner.
It goes for all of them.
3 in the morning, oh, 3 AM.
That's awesome.
Oh, boy.
Yippee.
All right.
Are you following along, or are you going to go to the old one?
I am actually going to go check on Haru first,
because he's been my very helpful assistant.
Yeah.
You're the only one that hasn't sexually harassed me.
Actually, I like Haru a lot, so I probably would have went with Luzon.
I would have went that point, too, if ever I was.
All right.
So everyone except for your Haru, who is already seated
and starting to eat.
And you're going to town.
I'm used to whatever I'm able to kill in the Feywild and in the forest,
and then also whatever rations I was given during the war.
Yeah.
So some of this food, you're like, I haven't had any of this before.
So some of this is new to you.
It is.
And you're looking at the porridge, and you're like, what is this mush?
And you eat it, and you're like, oh.
You're like, what?
And there's fruit.
There's strawberries and blueberries in there.
You're just like, it's new to you.
And you're excited.
This is an arousing experience.
Oh, yeah?
You want to de-glace that pin?
Do we now have to say we're not a BDSM podcast?
Because I really don't want to have to go there.
So we are not.
Well, too, don't put words in my mouth.
I can put something else in your mouth.
No.
Hey.
My life.
It's a good thing you brought the lube, right?
Haru is on the roof.
And in one of the classic monk poses, fingers
touching on the side, just scanning but at peace.
Do we see this?
I would go back to the guard, whoever's in the very last part,
where I usually take posts and ask if they've seen my assistant anywhere.
They're like, that guy?
They just point up, and you just see his feet are just kind of kicking.
Oh, he must have had a recharge.
I'll get him.
Thank you so much.
It's the same guy that you guys have been swapping for.
Yeah.
He's kind of just like, he looks kind of over it.
I'm just going to give him a little shoulder pat.
I'm like, god, you're so good.
He kind of just like, kind of holds it for a little bit.
I'm going to like, as he's holding my hand, jerk it back,
and then try to play it off that I didn't get scared.
OK.
Ahem.
Yeah.
Harun.
Hello.
I'm going to tap his forehead.
What are you doing, Harun?
Harun, like, I would say he opens up his eye panels
and then just goes like a wiper off of the sediment
that has been all over him for the night.
Hello.
Is it morning?
Come on, bud.
Got to get with the group.
Okey dokey.
And then I come down, and I see the guy that was originally up there.
See, I told you.
I beat back because I never left.
Boom.
Robots is word.
So we're in the cargo right now, right?
We're in the cargo area?
Yeah.
OK.
There are guards there.
While we're there, I'm just going to cast Detect Magic.
Yeah.
Same as last time, you see the seals glowing.
Some of the boxes do have encryptions on them,
which means they probably have some sort of security on them.
There is like some regular sized boxes.
There is one really huge ass box that has a good much like.
I'm going to investigate that one and spend my action
to see the School of Magic.
I would like to do.
Do I see this happening first off?
Him?
Yeah, him.
Let me see.
Is there a visual to Detect Magic?
Is there somatic?
Yeah, there is V and S. So V is verbal or visual?
I think it's verbal.
Fuck.
I just want to kind of draw the nearest guard's attention
and start asking about the night watch.
I want to do like a help action for them
not to see what he's doing.
Yeah.
So you want to start the distraction?
Yeah.
Or like just a talking him up.
So like standing on the opposing side between.
So there is.
There's multiple, I'm assuming.
Yeah, there's two guards.
The closest one.
I'm just going to talk to the closest one
to get his attention away.
So yeah, so you walk back in.
There's two of them.
There's one of them near the door,
one of them kind of close to the cargo.
So you go to the ones in the door.
And he just says, good morning.
Good morning.
Did you guys have a rough night last night?
I mean, no.
That's great to hear.
It's been pretty crazy on this train ride.
Oh, I know.
Those creatures attacked us.
Would you be able to help me with the lock on my cabin door?
I'm like, lean a little bit.
It's been so difficult to like.
Just it's going to be like five seconds, I promise.
I'm just, my hands don't.
He's like, which cabin's yours?
I'm going to like lead him towards the door.
He'll just be in a hurry.
He'll be like, I'll be right back, guys.
Harun is also going to, after he gets down,
just like try to shake violently and get like a layer of soot
off of him.
And it's going to just kind of poof a little bit.
Not that he knows there's a distraction needed.
All right, so Harun's just in the center.
You just see the guard just kind of chasing you.
And I'm paying attention and just kind of just
walk past you in a hurry to keep pace.
So what you got on the School of Magic for me?
It is a trap.
So it is like a.
It's a trap.
OK.
It's a trap.
You know, it's a.
So you've, because you saw the, you've
seen the entrapped encryptors already.
So you just like walk up here like, oh,
it looks just like the other one.
So you know it's trapped kind of similar to the.
OK, it's got to wear some high hats.
You know, it's trap.
Because you go on up to it and you're
smart enough to know with your manager, you're like, oh, fuck.
So you're like, OK, why are these boxes protected?
Only somebody had X-ray vision.
Hey, I'm just distracted.
Yeah, I'm just curious how the gnolls thought
they were going to deal with it.
I'm just trying to trying to think of things
that we could try to figure out what the hell is in there.
Well, once I'm done eating, I can meet up with you guys.
I mean, this is like meta, of course, but like, well, not
really, I think that Yoharis would do this anyway.
Like, once I'm done eating, go to Cargo Hold
and see if you guys are there.
And then do, what is the name of the spell?
Primeval Awareness.
That's the one.
Do Primeval Awareness and see if I can sense
like any auras in the boxes, because I won't be able to see
exactly what it is, but I'll be able to know
that something is in there.
And that something, I would assume,
would be in a coffin, coffins undead, boom.
Yeah.
Is there something I can do so that maybe there's
like the smallest crack inside of a box
that I can possibly see?
Is there something in there?
So you notice these boxes have covers,
they're draped with sheets to kind of protect them
while they're being transported.
So.
All right.
Damn.
Because they pay good money and transport these.
I know, but I want to know what's in the box, Gonzo.
I want to know what's in the box.
Yeah, something.
This place, there's still three other guards in this room.
I know.
And I know there's always somebody watching.
It's almost as if this is an expensive train
and people paid to have their stuff taken care of.
Crazy.
Right.
Fuck them.
I'm going to look over to one of the guards and be like,
so what are we transporting here today?
And he's like, whatever these rich fucks want.
You didn't see what any of them was when we loaded them up?
Nope.
Captain usually has a manifest, but we get paid to guard.
OK.
So the captain has a manifest.
That's good to know.
Just a question, because some of these boxes look expensive.
Yeah, I mean, have you seen some of the clients here?
Oh, yeah.
I was just curious.
I mean, Baldwin's here.
He's always rolling dough and flaunting whatever.
He's a weird guy, ain't he?
Yeah, he's been weird.
He's been acting real weird.
I just kind of get a strange vibe from that man.
Are any of these boxes his?
I mean, half of them are his.
Oh, half of them are his.
Damn.
So he just lives on the train?
Well, I mean, he has multiple properties.
House is all throughout the land that he likes to go and spend
time at because he can.
Harun is also slowly inching closer in the middle of your
conversation to Smilen.
As he's saying that, he kind of looks over.
He's like, hello?
Hello.
Do these have magic traps like the door above?
I don't know.
I look up at the door.
Yeah, the door.
They told me not to open it.
Yeah, the hatch.
My Detect Magic is still up.
Is this still?
Yeah, the hatch is still up.
I look over to Haruna.
Yeah, they're still trapped.
Don't do it.
I wonder how they turn it off when they have to unload.
I mean, if someone's really good at their magic, maybe they
could just turn it on and off with just a switch or something.
There's a switch?
He's going to look around.
The hatch is like a person size hatch.
You're not going to need Carver from there.
Is there a switch on the wall to turn this stuff off, Gonzo?
No.
He's looking.
Yeah, go ahead and remove your set of jacks for switches.
I'm going to cast Guidance on you.
All right.
I did not break out my dice.
I might borrow one.
Oh, yeah.
Well, my D20s are right here.
Oh, there's one right there, too.
All right.
Let's see.
Plus a D4, baby.
Plus a D4.
Oh, here.
Right plus a D4.
18 plus my modifiers, which I actually have right here.
We're doing all this math for him to say there's ain't shit in there.
No.
And now I want to see skills.
I would never do that to you.
Plus 3.
21?
Yeah, so 21.
So you don't really see any switches?
Oh, no.
But you usually kind of like a lever to pull the cargo door.
Because there's a giant loading door that opens for the cargo that you saw.
I found a switch.
And he's going to slowly.
No, no, no.
Don't do that.
Stop, stop.
Just grab your hand.
What are you doing?
I thought you said there wasn't anything on here.
I think at this point, Yulharis has probably made his way to the cargo hold.
You're just like toothpick and you're just like, ugh.
Sorry.
Horace walks in, giant smile, just ugh.
Ugh.
When the guard stops, he's like, are you my relief?
I am.
And then he's like, he holds up a flask.
And he's kind of just.
I pull out my flask that was given to me by one of the guards earlier.
And I cheers him.
It's the same guy.
Hell yeah.
He cheers you.
And he's like, I'm going to go have a good breakfast too.
As you should.
The chef did a wonderful job.
And then he says, if you want more of this, I can always try to sneak some from first
class cabin.
Oh, you're delightful.
I will.
We'll talk about that more at another time.
And then he's like, have you got your name yet, partner?
Neither have I to you.
My name is Yulharis.
Oh, my name is Wallace.
Oh, I like that name.
Does anyone else need to be relieved?
I'm sorry, but you're not my type, my friend.
So you're his type?
Anyway.
Seems that we have a full day ahead of us guarding things.
All right, well, I'm going to go have breakfast.
I'll be back in 30.
Maybe an hour, we'll see.
Well, fair enough.
Depends on what's for breakfast.
Oh, it's an entire spread.
Eat your fill as you should.
He does a good job, but they had this soup the other day.
Oh, my friend's gumbo.
Delicious.
That's a regional delicacy from where he comes from.
I didn't think that he contracts whisper.
I'm there.
Ah!
I'm in the same cargo hold as everyone else.
I hear this.
You are by the side trying to do your own thing for a second.
Yeah, then he's like, oh, that's good.
You made the soup?
The soup.
He did the soup.
The soup.
It's called gumbo, first of all.
Yo, get it right.
Who said that?
I immediately get next to him and start just nodding my head up and down, arms crossed.
I almost didn't see you down there.
You do notice that these are some of the guards that were...
These are the kind of same guards that have been guarding the cargo hold and that were
trying to fight off the both of you guys.
So we're almost buddies with them now because we keep covering for their shifts and helping
them out.
Yeah, and Horace was drinking with one of them for a little while.
I was shooting the shit with Wallace and then a couple of the other guys.
In my mind, I want to say that we were playing cards, but I don't remember the reaction.
You were playing spades.
So you were playing spades.
That's the one.
Haruna's going to inquire, have you guys already eaten?
Oh wait, you're not there.
I'm not there.
So I'm going to refer to Nyx and L'Xagna.
And that's it.
Who's next, right?
Yeah, because I've already eaten that.
Yeah, you already did.
Well, I wouldn't know that.
I'm going to ask you also.
Oh, I am okay on food.
I'm going to just look over to your Horace real quick and be like, so can you do that
thing real quick before I head out to breakfast?
Oh, absolutely.
I'm going to go ahead and cast primeval awareness and let you know of.
Sphay undead, Celestials and fiends and I believe dragons.
Yeah, let me drag and pull us.
It is aberrations, Celestials, dragons, elementals, fey, fiends or undead within a mile.
No, it doesn't.
Yeah, it's not the same.
Within a mile, up to six miles if it's in my favorite terrain.
What's your terrain?
Forest.
But I mean, terrain.
So, terrain, terrain.
The terrain is a terrain, but also I don't need to be seeing a mile out because I mean,
we're right here.
So I'm within range.
What do I detect?
Do I detect that?
Yeah, you don't detect anything at this moment because you're kind of moving through real
quick and you're like, in a certain spot, I don't really sense anything.
He senses himself, obviously, but.
Because you're a fey.
Yeah, you're a fey.
I'm a little fey.
I'm like, wow, I'm a big fey.
I'm six foot six.
I hate the big fey.
But actually, you do notice there is one other fey creature.
Okay.
Direction what?
So I'm facing like the rear of the train, just like looking at all the boxes.
It'd be in the opposite direction.
It would be, okay, so back the way that we came.
Yeah.
All right.
So, all right.
Are the guards around still?
Has Wallace already gone to breakfast?
Wallace has left after he clinked you.
The other guard's still there.
Yeah, there's two guards still there.
Okay.
I'm going to lean in close to Lasagna.
Well, my hypothesis was incorrect about the possibility of what we had discussed earlier.
There is another fey here and it's not in the cargo hold.
It's somewhere within the rest of the passengers.
They're always interesting because you never know which way they might be going.
I'm just going to give you a big shit eating grin when you say that.
It's not a bad thing.
Oh, I never thought that you thought of it as a bad thing.
No, it's just like, you know, with certain other creatures.
Oh, those people.
Here we go.
Those people.
Those people are kind of hot.
If it's like a dragon, you're like, okay, you're a dragon, you know that's bad.
I'm just giving you shit, my friend.
I wouldn't keep you around if I thought that there was anything malicious about your intent.
I know that you know what I am and I would not want to deal with looking over at Nix.
I wouldn't want to deal with any sort of dragons currently, if I'm being entirely honest.
I had enough of that when we were at the war.
Harun?
Can I roll the save?
Yep, roll me a wisdom saving throw.
Fuck.
It's in character.
Let's see, 14.
Let's see what my mom has.
It's probably what, plus three?
For a wisdom saving throw.
Wisdom's plus three.
So 17.
Yeah, you kind of start freaking out and you go like, huh, and then you see Oharis and
everyone else is like, okay, we're going to go.
Okay, well then that is the second success on not freaking out.
I put my hand over Harun's mouth.
I put a hand in his mouth too.
You just put one of his shoulders there.
Then I take my hand from around your mouth and bring it around for a hug.
You're okay, friend.
I'm going to pick you up and squeeze you and lift you up.
I'm going to pick you up again and I'm going to squeeze you even harder.
Go ahead and roll me a posing strength check.
Oh shit.
All right.
See, I almost love those strength checks.
Plus what?
Flat strength?
Yeah, just strength check.
As I'm watching all of this go down, I do address them saying, I would like to apologize.
22.
Oh, I got 17.
Yeah, you go to grab them and you're like, ah, and then you see just Nix just going like,
Nix just pop out and just pick you up.
You're like, did not expect this to happen.
It's my turn.
And then I do a suplex, but not a hard one, just a buddy's joke around suplex.
A friendly suplex.
Do I want to stunning strike this guy?
No.
Can I roll to land cool when he suplexes me?
Yeah, go ahead and roll me a correct.
Yes.
Oh, we'll see.
I got a good bonus to that.
That was the roll of a 10.
Lasagna, where is the, where's Serofra?
I believe she left earlier when we first came in.
Oh, you were at breakfast.
I didn't see her in the whole.
You know how she is though.
She be going through places without even being seen.
I only know how she is because she lets me know how she is.
And oftentimes she does not let me know.
The other guard there is like, you talking about the, the.
Bitch.
I wouldn't call it that.
That's because you haven't gotten a chance to get to know her.
And frankly, neither have we.
And then you see him like, oh, I'd like to get to know her.
You don't want to be sticking your iron in that fire.
Are they talking about Serofra?
Yeah.
Oh yeah.
They're talking about Serofra.
Yeah.
She's with us on boy.
You can back the fuck up.
She's like, Oh, did I strike a nerve?
Yeah.
And I can strike other things.
I'm just saying.
Like walk over to him and be like, uh, did you not just see him throw me?
I am heavier than you motherfucker.
You guys are wearing like full plate and they're just like.
Did I say that right?
Don't talk to her.
The guard is taller than you so he's kind of just like.
Let's not escalate things.
I would not escalate nothing.
They just need to know that not to injectify her.
Oh for sure.
She's with us for sure.
And let me tell you, if she knew, if she heard them talking shit, she would slit their throats.
So that's just, and I'm just going to get, look over to the guards and give them a little
wink and then just say, so don't, don't go there.
They'll be like, oh, she's a fiery one.
Oh, she's something.
Can't say, can't say we didn't warn them.
That's all where, that's all I'm going to leave it at.
I'm going to say I need to walk away before they make me do something dumb.
So I walk away.
I am actually just going to go back and just go get some breakfast.
Yeah.
I'm walking to go breakfast for again.
So you see, um, you would see me, I would be in the kitchen with oddly the apron and
whatnot of like the waitress crew bouncing back and forth between back into my other
identity.
Yeah.
You weren't, yeah.
You were in your apron.
You're just talking.
Oh, let me grab that plate for you.
Just being real friendly.
Um, you did not see the Alden, um, his brother who do you remember his name?
Yeah.
Baldwin.
Yep.
I have it on my nose.
Let's see if you guys remember.
Yeah.
So Baldwin is there.
Um, and, and you do CCL for like walking up and.
Give bringing a plate of food.
And you guys kind of walk.
So Nick's and.
Lasagna.
Were you going with them or?
Uh, well I say on my way out, um, uh, uh, you better watch out because he's friends
with Baldwin.
And then I'm going to walk away.
All right.
Go ahead and roll me a perception check while you're walking away.
Perception check.
Okay.
I'll just be with the guards in my car.
Because I did tell Wallace that I would take watch for him.
Yeah.
So you're still there.
The other guard, um, I said, I just kind of was like, strange bunch you're with.
Yeah.
18.
Um, you did hear like, like, oh, you kind of hit him snicker to the other guard.
Like, oh, we know he's Baldwin's and they just snicker.
Again, Harun thought he did a good job.
He's walking away.
He's feeling successful.
You're like.
We are a strange bunch, but we do go back and you've already seen that we can hold our
own.
Uh, all of us, uh, we have something to offer.
So as I'm like dropping off the food, I'm going to lean over to Baldwin.
I'm like, I just heard the craziest thing.
Some of the other staff was talking about something like a crab.
Should I be worried about a crab?
Like crab?
Like the food?
A crab, his name was crab.
I said people were looking for him.
What did I, what did I know?
Okay.
Do I, do I hear this?
I'm just curious.
No, you aren't.
Okay.
You're walking in.
Yeah.
Go in reverse reception because it's kind of happening.
Guidance.
We're talking about crab?
Yeah.
Oh, shit.
I just want to see if he reacts.
I think it's 18.
18.
Go ahead and hold me inside check.
That's what, that would be my plan if I hear this and see it.
You kind of hear, you see, um, she's kind of leaning in like hand on the back.
Inside check.
With guidance.
So you're kind of, you're walking in like his, so his back is like, kind of facing his
back.
So you don't see his face.
Damn.
She's leaning and whispering, but you do hear like pardon conversation.
Okay.
I rolled so low.
I'm so good at this though.
He just seemed like he didn't really know what to do.
I'm like, I'm going to go with the crab.
I'm going to go with the crab.
He just seemed like he didn't really like, like if he just didn't really know.
He's more so concerned about you and breakfast.
Or you being breakfast.
I'm going to find, you know, a nonchalant excuse.
I mean a chalant excuse to just exit and keep serving everybody else.
And then I will be going back into where all of us in the kitchen staff are.
What's your passive perception?
Passive perception?
That's some words.
Thank you.
It is 16.
Yes, you kind of hear what's burning about you as you leave.
Yeah, I kind of figured I'll leave impressions.
This is terrible.
Because you go into the kitchen and you see the chef ask you, he was like, is your friend
out there yet?
He should be around somewhere.
What do you need?
I just wanted to ask him.
I had some meals planned and I want to run by him.
Oh, oh, wow.
I will get him properly.
He's like, he's like, he's a very, I didn't think someone from his side of the.
Yeah, they're all kind of crazy.
And I'm just going to walk out before he finishes the sentence.
He's still talking as you leave.
He's kind of just cooking and talking.
And then I will find Lizachman and tell him that the chef's looking for you and then take
a seat at the table and start getting my meal.
Awesome.
I guess I'll go in the kitchen.
Do you take your apron off to eat?
No, I'm still in that full outfit.
Has a little more blush on.
Completely different hair color.
Yeah, so you go in there and the chef is like, was I on there?
I asked my ideas for food.
And just so you know, you are welcome to my pantry anytime.
That's good to know.
I got a few ideas.
He's like, I have a bunch of wild mushrooms that I foraged before this trip and I wanted
to make a soup with them.
When we're talking wild mushrooms, what are we talking about here?
They're the kind that you can make soup with.
Not the kind that makes you die.
I know what food is.
I just want to make sure that we're talking about the same thing.
You've been a chef for 50 years.
I like to go on trips, if you get what I'm saying.
If you got some of that, let me know.
But besides, what are we thinking?
I have mushrooms, maybe some onions and potatoes.
Okay.
Unless you have something else we can do with the mushrooms that you think of.
I mean, that does sound like a good meal.
Off the top of my head, I don't really cook with mushrooms that often.
That was more of my mother's thing.
Shoot.
I think your idea sounds great.
Maybe we can make like a jambalaya.
Have you ever had jambalaya?
What is that?
Jambalaya is like another thing from the South where we kind of make like some wild rice
with some veggies in there, some onions.
Wild rice.
Yeah, it's like rice with a lot of seasoning.
You southern people, you surprise me.
I'm telling you.
But you know what?
The gumbo, I couldn't disagree with you on that.
So if you want to take the lead again.
Trust me, I have no problem doing that.
All right.
He's like, do you want to make that right now for dinner?
Well, after you eat, of course, have breakfast first.
Oh, yes, yes.
I was just walking in to get some breakfast.
So that does sound I'll come back during lunchtime and then we'll get it started.
And then he looks at you and then like it just says, wait, he's like, I also do have some mead.
If you are someone who partakes, occasionally, I would love a bottle of mead.
I know I got some few buddies that are some good that love mead.
He he goes over to.
Looks like there's some crazy stacked up with supplies and he kind of just moves on over and there's just like a like a little stash of a couple of bottles.
And he has any handy one.
You know, this is a fermented pear one that I made a pair made.
Yes. Oh, you had pears before.
I mean, I feel like I've I've had a pair before, but I never had it in me.
This will be a first.
I will try it with my with my companions and I'll let you know how they are, how it is.
Perfect. Yes. And I have a bottle of hair made.
Fuck yeah. From from the chef.
Yeah, I'm going to go back to the table where my companions are.
Well, except for your Harris and I'm going to save some for him as well.
And then what?
I said, you're the mesh.
Yes. Yes. After I get my, you know, my food, I'm going to go back to the table and pour everybody some meat as well.
You see him walk over with a bottle of heat.
You're just it's the morning.
It's a great way to start the morning.
Hell, yeah. Hell, yeah.
And her just like doesn't really doesn't get it.
Water.
How are own I feel, buddy.
Fuel. Force a habit.
I probably still poured how run a glass and then I'm going to realize that what I did and then be like, he says fuel.
I'm taking that.
I heard takes a shot takes a drink to see you ever had to roll a constitution saving throw for that.
Nope.
No, that's insane.
Wow.
And the damage against poison.
But yeah, I'm going to shoot my back.
And how does it taste?
Delicious.
Crisp.
It's super tart.
And you're just like, why is this so good?
You're like, I've never had something this like this is your first time you ever had something like this.
It's what you do later.
You're like, oh, I take that straight to the head and then I need they make eyes with those.
I'm going to make a decision.
My eyes is like, you know, as soon as it as soon as it touches my lips and I and I see it, it's more of like I look up to the sky as if this is the best thing I've ever had in my life.
Just like, oh, 23.
Yeah, you're fine.
You're just like, oh, and you're like, it makes you go bubbly inside.
I'm like, we need to get more of that.
Am I clear?
I should be clear, right?
It's because I'm a bigger man than him.
Yeah, he's like half your size.
Like, he's a strong man of strong constitution.
Her rune is also going to try to mimic what Lusagna's faces are.
So if you're actually looking at like her runes also like.
Good lubrication.
Are you drinking this as well?
No, I am calmly not partaking the chop to still continue eating.
Are you not going to drink this?
This is amazing.
I don't drink on the job.
Oh, and I take it and I drink it.
No, no question.
That's good shit.
It's good shit.
You've never had something this fancy before.
I am going to make sure that I save a little bit for you.
Yeah, they're still about like half the bottle.
OK, OK.
Sweet, sweet, sweet.
Of course, man.
I've seen you drink on the job before.
I did see me with the flask.
So that's fair.
Yeah, it was the only place I got here.
I need to fill you up.
You do see Wallace walks over to you and just says like,
may I have some?
Oh, up to me?
He walks up to me.
He's like a friend of a friend.
I'll pour him a glass, but obviously you're not still safe.
He tosses it back and then he thinks I'm a flask.
He's like, you know, I just took two drinks and I still got to be a little bit.
You know, he's like, come on, put a little hair on your chest.
There's a lot of and I kind of I opened up my shirt and there's like it's like I've never shaved in my fucking life because I'm a wood.
You got a carpet chest.
Yeah, it's a full rug.
It's a shag carpet of a chest right now.
Awesome powers.
He's like, you can you can lay on this chest and it's soft.
Maybe let me tell you.
But no, thank you.
I am currently working.
He's like, suit yourself.
And then he looks at Nick's and says, would you like to taste some of this?
I would love to taste some of that.
Go ahead.
Jesus is a more alcohol.
Oh, he has some brandy in there.
Fifteen, fifteen.
Yeah, you feel it.
It kind of just rocks you.
You know, this is strong.
It is some strong fine brandy.
And just like, oh, you're a holder.
See me like, I'm good.
Yeah.
Oh, that was good.
Give me another.
It shook you a little bit.
Another another.
That was good.
Good.
I can handle it.
What you think of a small hand to my liquor?
Another not at all.
Not at all.
And he's like, you're always said you were good company.
Does guidance work with saving throws?
I think it's on skill check.
I think it's only skill checks, but I'm just going to double check here.
Yep.
Ability check.
Damn.
All right.
He'll just laugh and say, you're all I said you were fun people.
He's let you take another swig.
Wonder what the cost is.
Eighteen.
Yeah.
Same thing.
You're just starting to feel like you're feeling the head rush, but you're still like,
you're like this food that you're eating before.
He's just helping you keep it down and you're just, you're feeling real good right now.
Can I eat a bite of my garlic bread and then take another?
He'll be like, he'll be like, if you take another, I insist I get another sip of that
delicious.
I can't do it.
I'm sorry.
All right.
If my friend says he can't, he can't.
Oh, he's like, I just know it's so good.
I know.
I would love to do another.
If only there was more booze in this place.
That was quality.
He's like, he's like, he's like, you know what?
Since, since you are your holster's friend, go ahead and take it.
Go ahead.
I want to see how much you can handle.
All right.
And he looks at you and he's like, you want to place some gold on it?
What's the overall number?
Five gold.
He doesn't, he doesn't just put them down.
That it does put them down.
Yep.
Okay.
If he stays up, you get five gold.
If he goes down, you give me five.
All right.
I'll take that bet.
And he's like, deal.
20.
You want a 20?
Not natural.
All right.
Yeah.
So you take it and you're just like, I want eggs.
And then.
And then the bet.
He just slammed me.
He's like, damn, he just lands a five gold on the table.
And he takes his flashback.
He's like, thank you.
Good.
Sorry.
I'm a beast.
You're one tough little son of a bitch.
I'm a beast.
All his money part ways so quickly.
And then your cards make you're just sick.
Like, don't you ever bet against me.
I give a little body bump to those.
I'm not, I'm your boy.
High five.
I do it a little too hard.
Yeah.
Like I give a good swing on this.
Rolling on arm attack.
We'll make you 20 real quick.
I'm a little bit broken down.
Oh, flat or am I going to arm strike?
Well, okay.
Well, there's still certain hits.
Oh yeah.
You're fine.
He's not here.
He kind of just like, he goes like real firm high five, but he's kind of drunk.
So he misses a little bit and just kind of wings you with it.
Doesn't fully connect.
It's okay here.
Here.
Let's try it again.
But this time watch my elbow.
All right.
And then we do it again.
Boom.
Yeah.
Perfect.
It's beautiful.
There we go.
Beautiful.
All right.
And now I help out her room's back and go away.
And I point in a direction towards the room.
Yeah.
Wait.
He starts running.
All right.
See how far.
Well, no, not running fast walking.
Perfect.
Yeah.
So as long as you're going to be cooking, you're going to make some, uh, some food.
And since you have, you have access to the pantry, you can get food, whatever you want.
So what the entirety of this trip, you will not be hungry.
Fuck yes.
Cause it is established that lasagna knows how to cook.
Yeah.
So as long as it's free reign on the pantry and then let me get the bag of holding.
I will stash that bitch.
This is a well, this is the well stocked place, but also you got to feed the attendance.
I know.
Does the bag of holding make food go bad?
I mean, there's, there's not supposed to be air in it.
There's no air in there.
It's like it's its own preserved jar.
It would rot the same speed as like standard.
What do you think?
I think.
Yeah.
Cause bodies have heard of stories where people put like parts and then it goes out
nastier.
Cause they forget about it.
Yeah.
Got it.
Okay.
It's a thought.
Cause how often you guys check your bags of holding?
Never.
I don't even remember what's in the bag of holding at this point.
Who even has the bag of holding?
I was like, do you guys remember?
Yeah.
See, I'm sure it's always the one that stays strapped with everything important.
I have a sending stone and Nick says, Oh, that is true.
You, the boys.
All right.
Yes.
Um, so you're cooking, um, you are, are you going to be, uh, so Baldwin at this point,
he's done eating and he kind of, he snaps and looks at you for you to come get his plate.
I'm going to act like I'm just dizzy and I didn't hear it.
I'm a little girl.
I'm going to slowly start like walking away.
He grabs your wrist and he's like, uh, he pulls out his pouch of gold.
He's like, since you've been nice, he's like, go ahead and get a handful.
But he pulls you in like real tight.
Like those hands.
And he's only one hand.
I want to try to grab into the bag, but accidentally like knock it over.
Go ahead and rub a slight of hand.
That's that's going to, that's going to be an interesting role because is there a lot
of poor people around him?
No, this is other other nobles.
27.
Yeah.
So, um, you kind of play it off as, as he pulls you that, um, your hands in the bag.
So as he pulls you, you kind of fall into him and like knock the bag over onto him and
like kind of fall on him.
I'm going to like, Oh, hold on.
I'm so sorry.
I'm just scooping it and like half of it's going into my purse and half it's staying
in that bag.
So he's kind of just watching you.
He's kind of just enjoying the show.
Yeah.
You want button the top button.
All right.
I'm bending forward.
Let's get this up.
Yes.
It's going into the bra.
I'm scooping.
Yeah.
So you pick up total 90 gold.
90 gold.
Nice.
I went out for 90 gold.
Yeah.
It feels a little cheap, but okay.
No, hey, that's.
I'll take it.
That's a good deal.
That's a good, that's a good poll.
And then he kind of just looks at you.
He's like, he's like, whatever you, like whatever you got, your little, your little, is like
your cute little hands on your keep.
And he kind of just doesn't even count.
It's puts it away.
Doesn't care.
He's one of those people.
Oh, we, we saw how much money he had in that safe, uh, yesterday actually, or, uh, was
it, was I there or was it, was it just, okay.
I can't remember that part, but I'm assuming.
Wait, see, I've heard you wouldn't have told them, right?
Nope.
Yes.
Definitely wouldn't have told you guys.
I don't know.
You, you kind of know, you know, there was a safe, but you didn't know that he opened
it.
Yeah.
I do recall there being a safe.
So I know there's money.
Well, I mean, I'll just threw money at us when it came to like giving us like some reward
for what happened.
Like he didn't care.
Yeah, that's right.
That's true.
He didn't care.
He just said, fuck it.
And then just gave us the gold.
And then he went on this trip.
Yeah.
Awesome.
That's great.
You just 90, 90 gold richer now.
Lucky bastard.
Uh, go ahead.
Is a.
So you guys all kind of saw this.
Um, what's your passive?
Unless you guys are, I got 18 and you know, you're the kid, you don't see this.
Um, this kind of happening as you're in the kitchen and a Haruna Nick.
So her next with their own there.
So her next, you kind of just see this go on.
Um, well we know that he had me run him back to the room.
Yeah.
So, so yeah, so yeah, no, it's like, it was just you.
So the rest, the rest of the, no, it was kind of just laughing.
Like you're just klutzy and, and they just didn't pay you any mind.
So now you got 90 more gold.
There you go.
And um, he kind of just, uh, he says, uh, we're going to be, uh, drinking some of the
imports that I brought if you want to join me.
That sounds delightful.
May I?
And he's like, yes, I changed into something a little nicer.
Oh, oh, oh, do you have somewhere to change for me?
It's so crowded back there.
Can I borrow your room or something?
Oh, you, you may.
And then he, um, he snaps at another, um, and then there's like another one of the,
another one of the tenants comes and just kind of like, he just says yes.
And he's like, uh, go fetch some nicer clothes for the lady.
I have to change in though.
I have nicer clothes.
Don't you worry.
Oh, I just need some more private.
He's like, take her to my room.
Thank you so much.
I'm going to go back there.
And then he's kind of walking behind you and just make sure to stay behind you.
And then like, as we get to the door, I'm like, strut those hits.
I hold the door like I'll close like slowly behind him.
Like no peeking.
And he's trying to, I keep him on the other side of the door.
He's like, I'm going to just wait out here for you and escort you inside myself.
And I use here, I'm talking with the guards and I want to try to find something to like
wedge the door.
I'm going to roll.
Okay.
Um, what?
Oh, prop a chair or anything just so like the door doesn't immediately open.
There is a lock.
Yes.
Yeah.
So, um, there is a lot, but I'm going to also put your, cause I know he has the key to it.
There's a, so there is a lock and then, um, there's a deadbolt.
There's a, yeah, there's a double for this.
And you can see like, there's like a chest that you can move over and I'll do that.
Yeah.
So first thing I'll do is I'll actually change.
I'll use the disguise kit, keep the same hair color, whatnot, but do dress into like almost
like a former wear kind of like, but very tight fitting.
How long does it take you to change all that?
It's 10 minutes for the item.
Oh, if I'm changing a full disguise, I think it's an hour.
It states, but I'm not going to go that far.
Okay.
But you basically just put it on a dress and then do this makeup.
And then I'm going to go back to the safe that I remember the combination for.
All right.
Everything's gone.
I curse under my breath.
This mother fucker.
Wait, that was less than 24 hours ago, right?
Obviously I'm not there.
I'm just asking the question.
Not slam it, but like do like little kids when they're in trouble, like quickly close
it and then like let it go in a couple of inches in to like latch it into place.
And then I'm going to search his nightstand really quick.
I'm just, I'm scouring the room since I haven't done it myself.
Come on baby, don't roll like shit like last time.
Come on.
What's this going to?
17.
So you do find itinerary and today's date has an event listed as the poker day.
So you figure all the money's probably.
So glad I didn't steal it earlier.
And as you figure out why they're doing all the tasting and you're, the rest of your probably
would have known because you know, they're the hired help, but not you.
Cause you're special.
Got it.
What makes her special?
My ass obviously.
Yeah.
She's tall and beard.
Yeah, the beard.
It's a tall, colorful.
Wow.
You look so wild.
Like so different and unique.
They're just like, wow.
Different.
She sounds like my type.
Yeah.
Emotionally unavailable too.
Oh yeah.
That's the one.
Wait, how many reflexes are there?
Run through all the flags.
So after I do that search and I get that note, I'll make a mental note of it.
And then you see, you see, uh, the rest of the itinerary also has like, uh, tomorrow
they're doing like, um, you know, they're actually doing, um, another tasting.
They're doing, they have different alcohols for the days.
And they just have like card games for like the rest of the week.
Gotcha.
So I will move the chest back and all that.
And then I'll exit the room.
I'll open the door.
Yeah.
You see, uh, you know, all the, uh, Baldwin is talking to some of the guards and he's
like, Oh, he turns around.
I was like, are you ready to hear?
He's like, ravishing.
I try my best.
And he says, after you and he'll lead you.
The guards will, um, open the door for you in the first class cabin.
He's everyone.
They have these like lounge areas and you see the bartender floating around, handing
drinks floating around, just literally floating.
Yes.
Oh shit.
Yeah.
Oh shit.
Fancy.
Yeah.
He, um, small man, just kind of flying.
I'm going to just act like I've never seen someone fly before.
I've seen magic and all that good stuff.
So he's like, Oh my God, how's he doing that?
He's like, Oh, he's a, he's a fairy.
Ike, like he likes, what do you mean?
Oh, how do you mean I can fairy fairy?
Ike, I like the fairies.
Oh, never had seen a fairy.
Yeah.
He would immediately go talk to him.
That's the bartender.
I'm just going to go straight to the fairy and be like, where are you from?
He's like, Hey wilds, came here a while ago during the war and discovered all the fine
alcohol this world has to offer.
I might change tones.
Like, are you working?
Are you actually like, I might try to like level with them as like, I'm, I don't want
to be here either.
Um, go ahead and roll me a perception.
I'm not a perception, I'm a persuasion.
You're kind of just trying to like, you can bring your own persuasion.
Cause you're not really trying to save him.
15.
All right.
Yeah.
He's just like, Oh, he's like, I make pretty good money from these rich fucks.
He just, he's like, what do you want?
He just starts shaking the drink as he's flying.
I was like, I hope I do too.
Surprise me.
He's like, Ooh, I'll make you something.
Whatever he makes.
And then he kind of like, he's like, what's your name sweetie?
Sydney.
Oh, it's Frankie.
Frankie the fairy.
That's right.
That's where he told my name.
But you know, we get it again.
He knows what's up.
And as he pours you, he kind of just pops, um, you see him start pouring and then you're
like, and he just pulls a glass.
Just, just kind of, yeah.
And just in the, in the, it's still floating.
Yeah.
The drinks are pouring.
You kind of just holding it and you kind of just look at you and the drinks are floating
and pouring itself.
He's like, Oh, I gently grab it right when it's done pouring.
And then you taste it.
You're like, tastes like blueberries.
Blueberries.
I don't know what the hell blueberry is.
Probably not.
It's like it's sweet and tart.
They don't have blueberries in the war.
Yeah.
All we got was the hard tech and water.
Hard.
You, um, the mac and cheese MREs.
They're all nice and bubbly.
And he's like, who you, who you here with?
The Mac and E's.
Actually, I'm with Baldwin.
He just gives you like a little eye roll and he's like, come on.
And then you see him, uh, pops away.
So someone else who's calling his attention, he's making them a drink.
I was going to ask him for tips.
And then you see him like kind of like serving and he's like popping everywhere and like
pouring a drink for people.
These people like just opulent and then you notice like in the center, there's just a
giant mound of gold.
And like, like probably four times the size of like what you would see in the same future.
And then, um, Baldwin kind of comes up and put his shoulder on and he's like, Oh, that's
going to be mine.
Oh, I'd love to see this.
And he kind of just hold you tight.
He's like, we're gambling today.
Okay.
I'll be right back.
I have to go to the ladies room.
He's like, don't take too long.
I'm going to go back to the kitchen card to talk to the friends real quick.
And then I'm going to ask what the buy in is.
Who's still in the, uh, you're in the kitchen.
Yeah.
So they went back to the room, Haroon and Nick's are in the room.
Yeah.
So you see her and Nick's there and like, uh, Nick's just doing pushups and Haroon's
just kind of doing pushups with them.
Just so he's like, I don't know what we're doing, but he's just doing pushups with us.
So I'm going to go up and then the dragon Mark's going to light up a little bit.
I'm going to rub the top of Nick's head.
Like, all right.
So listen up.
Things are getting interesting.
I got to go.
Just make sure you keep on toast.
Know where everybody is.
I got to go.
And I leave.
Yeah.
As I'm walking out, you hear in your head, like I'll be, you'll be able to talk to me
like this and you can talk to me telepathically for the next D6.
Who has a D6?
As everyone reaches for a D6.
Five hours.
Nice.
With Haroon?
Nick's.
Nick's is.
I don't want to hear Haroon's head voice.
I was tempted all along.
Nick's is so hard, right?
Yeah.
Nick's is rather confused actually.
He's doing pushups even harder.
He's just like, I'm going to go back so I'm not away for too long.
You see him just fucking getting it.
Yeah, I do like a little bit of a pause and then I'm like, so we're talking?
Yes.
Okay.
I can hear you.
Clean thoughts.
Just clean thoughts.
All my thoughts?
You're going to hear a chuckle on the other side.
Please no.
Okay.
And what's happening here?
I am in a giant, I'm in first class.
There is gambling everywhere.
There is so much gold.
I'd be able to fund another goddamn war.
You're being escorted to the front.
Okay.
So we're still in it or?
I don't know what's happening.
Keep on your toes.
Okay.
So as you're doing that, you see Yoharis walking with Wallace.
In the first class?
Yeah.
They're like, we're on guard duty for the game.
We went up in the war.
I was going to side cock my head and not say a word and just have this really awkward smile.
Like, oh hi, who are you?
And I'm staring deadpan at your face.
I'm trying to give you all the signals in the world.
Go ahead and roll me an insight check.
You're a good one.
So you finished off the rest of the bottle of that mead, which was delicious.
He hasn't passed by me yet.
He's headed to first class.
Oh, so he did?
Okay.
I was going to say I'm going to give him the rest of the bottle.
I assume you did.
Travis.
Oh yeah.
Travis, let me know.
Or actually let the chef know.
He wants to know how it is.
And Yoharis will give you a sip of what he has if you accept.
Yeah.
I'm going to give you a sip out of my flask.
It's some really nice Elvish brandy.
I would, but I got to cook maybe after dinner.
Come back to me on that.
Well, I can guarantee that there will be some left for you because you gave me this.
My man.
Ah, no, you just pat him on the shoulder.
Yeah.
You have it and you've never had anything quite as good as this and it just makes you
feel so good.
It feels reminiscent.
You feel bubbly.
Oh boy, I've been bubbling.
That's a bubbling boy and I bubble a boat.
But I'm going to roll that insight check.
Well, I cast seven, but it's a plus four.
So it's actually 11.
Go ahead and perform and see how well you perform this.
Let's see.
There we go.
See if Sam for a signal is going to save it.
I'm going to roll that in again.
Yeah.
See how well you perform.
Performance or persuasion?
Siavra's sexy signals.
Fuck.
You're doing a little performance here.
Oh, not.
I can pick up on those.
All right.
Okay, perfect.
Yeah.
You kind of like, but you kind of pick up and like you kind of just kind of when you say
you, oh yeah.
And you're like, oh, we got first class dude.
I'm going to hold out my hand like I'm Sydney.
I give you like, I think it's a high five and I try and give you a high five.
I'm going to like awkwardly pull my hand back and I look at Baldo and I'm like, okay.
Yeah.
How was weird?
I'm like walk artist back with him.
I looked to Wallace and I just kind of like gesture a little bit to her.
I don't look the same as before.
Yeah.
And I kind of, I kind of mouth to him.
Like I don't say it out loud, but I mouth the words.
And then you see Wallace and he's like, I'm stuck up rods.
I'm all right.
He's like, wait until you see the rest of these fancy rich fucks.
Oh, no doubt.
And he just takes another shot and he just puts it away.
He's like, ah, put on your best smile.
And he's like, he's like, just try.
He's like, be patient in there.
We've got to make sure no one gets out of hand.
Does this sort of thing happen often?
Well, I mean, there's a lot of alcohol flowing, a lot of tempers.
Oh, well, if one of them starts complaining about the quality of the drinks or insults another one's ascot,
I'm sure that it won't be anything that we cannot handle.
We should be fine.
They just get a little rowdy.
So we'll be there.
I tell you how many goblins I killed in the war.
Not enough.
Probably.
You really are growing on me.
This is like an older, like hardened elf who has just been.
He's seen some shit in the war.
Yeah.
In comparison, I'm a young buck.
Like I'm only 120.
So what's happening?
Are they actually playing the game now?
So you went to the kitchen with Baldwin as you guys were going back.
Ozanga's there and he's kind of just bothering the chef.
He's like, you got any food for me or anything?
I got little snacks.
And he's like, I was preparing a cheese plate.
Please be calm.
This is my kitchen.
He's like, this is my cart.
I'm just going to like try to defuse it and just pick up the cheese plate and be like, thank you so much.
Everybody will love this.
So I'm like, yeah, start walking it back.
He'll just kind of follow along.
Start grabbing some cheese and there's crackers on there.
It's charcuterie board.
Charcuteries.
Yeah.
And you see some of the other like attendants were also going to help.
And he just kind of barged in because he's already a little drunk.
Yeah.
You could smell it on him.
Yeah.
He's kind of like really like close to you and dragging along.
And he's like, where do they hire these people?
I have no idea.
I just kind of roll my eyes because I'm one of those people.
What did he mean by those people?
You do what he meant.
By the people for the people.
That's true.
You're right.
We the people.
So what's happening in this first class?
You see there is other, they have tables set up and people are like gambling and they're playing poker.
And they're just like piles of money being thrown around.
People are just, there's like multiple games going on.
I'm all lame.
Doh my, can you teach me how to play?
I want to get in on this.
Yeah.
He pulls you up to a table and he puts you on his lap and he's like, I'll teach you how to play.
Do I see that?
Yeah, you see that happen.
You see him just kind of like.
Honestly, for the first time in my life, I feel bad for Siofra.
Like real homie taking that one.
And then like how he puts his arms around you to like show the cards.
He's like, and he starts explaining the rules of Texas Hold'em.
And then you see he just has like a giant sack of gold.
He just doesn't even look, just grab a handful and just kind of puts it in front of him.
So if it's Texas Hold'em, what is the equivalent of Texas on this continent?
This is.
Is it where Lasagna is from?
It's Florian Hold'em.
Glamma Bay. I'm from Glamma Bay. That would be it.
Glamma Bay.
Let's see. Maybe pull the map out.
Glamma Hold'em.
Here, I'm going to.
Let's see.
The magical world of Texas.
Look how big that is. That's Texas for sure.
Oh, we'll say this is a.
Oh, yeah, it's a giant fold out. What's it? Cry fold?
You would say.
To hold them. I like it.
That's actually hard.
So not sponsored.
Hashtag not an ad.
We're just boys fucking around.
We're just boys.
I can't say the rest of that.
This boy is I hope their knee pops don't get on the mic.
There it is.
I say one of us gets up pop pop.
We're all just crickets.
My knees and my ankles and my everything.
I'm made of corn.
Popcorn.
I have glass bones and paper skin.
Constant heart attacks put me to sleep.
Anyway, let's get back to it.
Harun is curious why Nix is not keeping up with the push ups.
Yeah, you see him kind of just like he's doing push ups.
He's a little distracted right now.
He's kind of like he's not only thinking too well.
You guys are going back to the car.
He's kind of teaching you and like it's going back and forth.
There's lots of money flowing and you're kind of just.
I want to try a hand.
Perfect.
But yeah, you see him.
At this point I've stopped doing push ups.
Yeah, you can also you can communicate as well with Nix.
If you want to communicate with him what's happening.
Right.
Well in the middle of the game.
Oddly.
There's just so much money I'm losing focus.
I'm so sorry.
Do you know how to play?
What is that Hold'em game called?
Teletra?
I do have a proficiency in a card playing set.
Yeah.
I know how to play this game.
Go ahead and roll me a d20.
Is this a health action?
Is there a luck stat?
Wow, this is the health action.
You don't know how to play it.
Unless someone wants to give you their initiative.
Oh wait, I had inspiration.
You have inspiration.
I'm going to use it.
Yeah, I'm going to use it.
I want to I want this money.
Yes.
Fates have been twisted.
I wasn't even the same.
So you're just like.
Rampart taught me how to play that.
Yeah, I played it and I played it all the time in the war.
Yeah, like after you taught me how to play spades.
I have a crazy idea.
If you could get somehow this first class card, tell me their cards through your brain.
I guess a lot of money.
All right, I'm going to do something.
But I don't want it mentioned ever again.
So you're safe with me.
All right, I go up and I like dust myself off.
Haroon, go get Lasagna.
Just know where they are.
Let him know that a CO4 isn't gambling right now.
I'll be back.
I'd say nothing else.
Give no other context and leave.
What do you want me to do?
OK.
Yeah.
I clean myself up as much as I can.
I like straighten my back for the first time I come in.
I like lighten my voice and like and I try to walk up and like, hello, I'm here as the
show, the entertainment for the poker boys.
No, we got the fairies already in there.
Oh, I'm the tossing gnome.
We don't.
We didn't have a tossing gnome.
I was told some of the men here have particular tastes.
You weren't you the guard at the at the back?
You were the.
I see all of us.
No, you're in there outside.
Yeah.
He's like, yeah.
He's like, and he looks at you like, I think I'm strong as shit.
Yeah.
Do I happen to see is this is like right before he goes in there?
This is like he went up to the front glass.
Trying to get into his class.
But Haroon gets to you while this is going on.
So Haroon's with you.
And but actually the chef hasn't talking to you the whole time.
He's kind of filling you in on like the how that everything functions and like how these
rich fucks are.
He kind of fills you in.
And he does tell you that that the the Alden's been acting really strange to the past year
or so.
Interesting.
I'm going to I'm going to ask him a few questions, but go ahead.
Let's let's resolve what's happening with Nicks.
My response is there's nothing.
I'm not a guard.
I'm a mercenary of sorts.
The reality is I do anything for money.
And I was told that some men here want me to do things for money.
They kind of look at each other.
They kind of grimace a little bit, but go ahead and roll your persuasion roll.
I think that definitely earned a roll.
Fair enough.
Yes.
He's putting it all out there.
All of it.
Seventeen.
They kind of just look at each other like.
And then they just say like, I'm kind of like, he's like, I'm sorry.
He's like, are you he looks at the other girls like, are you are you guys?
And he's like, and he just like kind of whispers to me.
Yeah, I do whatever, man.
I get paid to stand here and be guard.
So I'm going to just like, I'm probably going to serve after this.
And he kind of just like, he's like, he's got to help with the door.
It's kind of like.
Gold is gold, baby.
Gold is gold.
Do I hear this telepathic?
I don't know.
He is thinking this, right?
You've got to be thinking about this.
I mean, it's like ascending.
I think you have to actively be trying.
You're trying to hold your laughter.
You're trying to get up and down with comments.
So he's kind of getting excited.
And he just like, I'm trying my best not to break into tears.
I mean, Nick doesn't know how to work.
He said like, like all the thoughts.
You're leaving that shit on.
Does he know how it works?
That's the real question.
No, not at all.
Exactly.
So they let me in?
Yeah.
So you're in there and one of them looks at you and says like, you know, you know, one
of the guards.
I do whatever, man.
I'll be back and I walk away.
And he kind of looks at you like, wait.
He's like, I'm walked off.
I'm not sitting here to listen.
I'm gone.
So you kind of start walking.
You see your Haris with a Wallace like as a standing guard.
Can I look around to see if there's like a way for me to get like a waiter's clothes or
something?
No, this is the first one.
You would have wanted to have done that at the earlier where the.
Well, I know I am.
This is the same character works out.
I'm in the room.
All right, I got it.
I don't know what to do next.
You know, how is there any kind of looks at you and just kind of like waves at you.
Do I see him in the room now?
I see that he did.
It's kind of happening.
It's not happening behind you.
Go ahead and roll your perception.
Yeah, I'm going to do a perception check.
You see him crying a little bit from all the thoughts that he just had.
I just sold my pride a little bit to get rich for a chance to get rich.
Oh, yeah.
You kind of like sweat.
You're trying to like brush your hair and you kind of see him walk in, walking towards
your horrors.
And you see Wallace like Wallace sees you too.
It's like waves you over.
All right, I walk over.
And then so that's going to be happening.
So the chef's been talking to you about like talk.
It's a sort of the back of the kitchen.
The chef has been talking to Luzardo about how Baldwin's become a dick the past year.
So he's gotten worse.
How runs there with us, right?
Yeah, you get in there and you're kind of talking about it.
Yeah, Arun will just quickly say that Nix is trying to do something and said I should
get you and did not explain.
OK, so that just fast forward that to you guys talking again.
Yeah.
So I mean, while we're all sitting there trying to cook while we're cooking, I'm just going
to ask him.
So you say he's been acting weird.
And I can't like I said, I get that vibe from him.
He seems like a weird dude.
What do you what do you see them kind of moving?
Like who do you what do you what do they be kind of moving around here?
There's a lot of cargo from what I saw.
I don't really see much of the cargo.
I'm usually pretty busy here with how much people I have to feed.
It's been easier with you here.
So I've got a few breaks.
Oh, yeah, I'm glad I can help wherever I can.
I mean, who do you think would be the best because, you know, with the attacks, it kind
of makes me a little worrisome of what they might be after.
I mean, somebody I mean, you see much money these people have.
Yeah, I know.
But it just like it just kind of irks me the weird way of like knowing that there's something
if I know what what they want, I could protect it better.
You know what I mean?
I wouldn't be able to tell you, but I mean, I know these people have a lot of money, so
they probably have expensive trinkets or jewels or something.
I mean, you see the way they dress.
They must be hauling some sort of expensive cargo that you would sell in the black market.
So that's what I keep hearing.
That's everybody keeps saying that.
But I feel like it's deeper.
It's deeper than that.
Why would it be deeper than that?
I don't know.
It's just it's just one of those things I got in my gut.
That's all.
It's just one of those days.
Yep.
So I mean, yeah, we'll just continue doing that until dinner is ready.
And when that's when we'll kind of I feel like Harun and I will try to get into the first
class car with everybody else.
Yeah.
Just a little bit of a filler.
While in the kitchen, Harun will also take up helping wash his hands and then wash your
hands.
Fast spinning hand twirl thing as a mixer.
Just for flavor text, there is extra aprons in there if you want to put one on.
Harun also will grab an apron.
Perfect.
Yeah.
See us wearing an apron so he wants to wear an apron too.
Harun doesn't really know how to put it on.
So you kind of see him start struggling.
I'm going to help him if I see him struggling.
I like to hold my arms out like a toddler.
There's no holes in the apron.
I just need to put this over your neck.
That's all.
He like leans down, but his arms are still extended.
Since they're all in the cabin, are we going to be bringing food into them?
Do you guys want to just be bringing the food to them?
Holy hell yeah, we'll bring the food in.
So you notice there's been a roast cooking as well.
We're going to have to bring all that there.
They want to cut in front of them for the show.
It's going to be heavy, so can you boys handle it?
Oh, we can handle it.
Yeah.
All right.
So we have a giant roasted pig, and it's been kind of just cooking.
You've been kind of basting it and covering it.
Yes, yes.
Some nice honey glaze.
Oh yeah.
Yes.
Can Harun get a fancy hat, or is that only for chefs?
Only for chefs.
But you can put on the little made poppy thing.
The sous chef hat?
Yeah, I'll get the sous chef hat.
Okay, there's a random hat there.
There's a little white hat, and he's like, I put that on for show for them sometimes.
You can keep it on if you want.
Yes.
It looks rather hilarious on you.
Yay.
Just imagining a robot with an apron and a chef's hat on now.
The chef has been, he was a little more uptight, but you've been unwinding him a little bit
lasagna with your southern charm.
That's what I'm here for.
Can I accept the meat?
I'd rather you not.
I am killed.
The thing with certain meats is you've got to make sure you cut it the right way, or
else you lose a lot of the flavor.
I have a presentation I do, I do a little show for them, little fast hands.
You can just hold it.
You see some of the other servers start grabbing food, and you guys start bringing over the
meals.
You guys are walking over and just talking, you and Harun are holding over.
Go ahead and let me strength check, see if you guys can, this thing's heavy as fuck.
Got it.
Praying to your god to lift some food.
Ooh.
It's not good.
Oh.
Is it just strength?
Yeah, strength.
18.
Okay, you pick it up, no problem.
Let's see if...
Well, it's a five without an...
So it's a four, just so we're all on the same page.
That's your guidance?
Yeah, so I got a five without my modifier, and then it turns into a four.
Oof.
Is there any type of like, athletics I could do to like pick up the pace, like of him like
dropping it so it doesn't just drop, drop?
Like it could be like a counterbalance, like try to take the brunt of it?
Well, he tried to pick it up and he couldn't even grab, he kind of just slipped and like
almost dropped.
Oh, we haven't left yet.
Yeah, no, you guys are trying to pick it up and you kind of pick up your side, and he
kind of just...
Oh, okay.
It kind of like, it starts to like fall on him because he kind of just starts like...
Oh, oh, I think this is a little too heavy for walking.
I thought we were walking, okay.
Yeah, and you see like the chef kind of pick it up, he's like, are you sure you can handle
this?
I think you might want to grab this, chef, I don't think I got it.
And he kind of just picks it up and just says, he kind of just rolled his eyes and he's like,
let's go, what was your servant's name again?
He is not a servant, he is actually my good friend Harun.
Oh, you know, I've only really seen them used as a companion, as servants.
I live too, sir.
She also has feelings.
Oh.
Well, hello, Harun, can you pick up the pace, they're a hungry crowd.
He's like...
Yes, sir, let's go, you lead the way.
All right, so you guys go to the first class car.
See you over there.
You've been kind of just, he's been teaching you the ways, he's been kind of just letting
you in on a few hands and he's like, I'll give you a little bit if you want some hands.
Okay, well, I'm going to mentally talk to Nick and be like, all right, time to shine.
This guy's ass at this game, let's do it.
And I want to try to see if I can use his idea to see what the other player's hands
are so I know whether they're bent heavy or not bent heavy.
Okay, how are you communicating this to him?
I'm telling him to tell me what their cards are.
All right, Nick, so Nick, so as you're getting his information, what are you doing for this?
What am I doing?
Yeah, how are you responding?
Are you going to do something?
Are you going to...
I mean, I'm just going to...
I want to know what their cards are.
Yeah, so I'm just going to stand because I'm now with them, I'm like a guard.
I'm just going to stand behind the people who are those cards I'm trying to see in guard
position and just telepathically tell her the cards.
Yeah, you see there's two guards kind of standing towards one side of the table where you can
see kind of a van...
It's hard for you to see because some of the tables are a little higher.
How high is the table?
Jesus.
I mean, they're high elves.
I picked the shortest person.
He said, he said, fuck you to your idea.
That's what that was right there.
I'm just kidding.
Yeah, so it's a little hard for you because you're trying to blend in, but there's like
people kind of passing in, walking through.
So you can still kind of see like you can, if you kind of walk around, you could see
like a person's hand or two.
You wouldn't be able to see a lot of people, you'd be able to tell like one or two people.
Okay.
But you have to roll Perception check.
I'm going to do it.
Fuck yes, hot dice, baby, hot dice.
Yo, Horace, you kind of see like all this happening.
You still see, you still see Elphar still there like hot dice.
Bob is still like hands around her like...
I'm just grimacing, not in a purple way, but in like an elvish way.
You also notice as you, as you did walk into first, you didn't see the fairy floating around
serving drinks.
I just take note of that and I think to myself, I know I don't say it out loud.
Oh, acid.
And then you're kind of talking and then right in front of your face pops up and you're like,
Bob, I haven't seen you in a while.
You do that with everyone?
Yeah, and then he does it to Wallace and he's like, ah, Wallace is like pulls on his flesh.
He's like, you want to fill me back up?
And he just like, he looks at him and then he's like, it just full again.
He's like, ah.
Well, I have to say this.
You are consistent.
What's your name?
They call me Frankie.
Hmm.
It's always hard for the rest of them to pronounce the actual one.
Yeah, this is easier.
I understand.
I don't have anything short to go.
Just hand you a drink.
Oh, I inspected.
How does it look?
It's kind of bubbling and it's like blue.
As a blue bubbling boy in the bubble boat.
That's an AMF, baby.
It's so good that it'll have you speaking Spanish.
And forget Elvish.
It's like just a little drink I whipped up.
I gave one of your friends earlier.
Oh, well.
I'm going to roll something.
Go ahead.
Would it be insight or perception to see?
Insight.
Okay.
He said one of his friends?
Oh, wow.
Yeah, no, that is 22.
Yeah.
Yeah, he says friends because he's been serving everyone.
So he assumes he's someone here.
Oh, well.
He has a bartender after all.
Yeah, the bartenders know everyone.
Yeah.
So he's like, I made this looking coxswain.
I think you'll like it.
Oh, well, thank you very much.
I will make sure to give my friend a thank you.
My name is Yoharis.
Yeah, you're with the little short guy, right?
You guys were talking to each other.
Yeah, he and myself and some others are pulling security.
Does he drink?
The short one?
Not often, but he does.
And then as you're talking, he just pops off and then like,
Nix, he pops up around in front of you and he's like,
do you want to drink?
So when he does this, I want to be because I rolled an 18.
So can I see the cards?
You see like the cards of the person like to the right of Siofra.
All right.
So I want to be like, given the card information and be like,
okay, he has an ace of spades, a four-time.
Oh my god, motherfucker.
I'm going to close my eyes.
I'm going to tense just for a second because I was like full
volume in my head.
Buddy.
This weird little floaty thing just popped up.
Give me a second.
Talk to me. Talk to him.
He's like, do you want to drink?
I'll have an Elvish brandy.
And he'll be like, what's that in your ear?
And he just pulls it out.
There's like a glass of brandy.
I'm like, okay.
And I take a shot, take it to the head and get back to work.
You've been drinking all day.
He did go back to the room and work it out.
True.
But let's see how bad it is.
What's my, what do I add to that?
Not enough.
That's what it sounds like.
It's a 10, but I add constitution saving throw plus five 15.
You're saying, yeah, you got it.
You kind of just like, Oh, I was scared because of how much I
feel in your bones.
Are you still good?
Okay.
I'm all right, but thank you.
Well, I'm doing work, so I need you to leave me alone.
He's like, all right.
He's like, let me know if you, let me know when you want to refill
your glass again.
I will definitely find you.
Your glass is full as you, as you're like, it's full again.
All right.
I look at it.
He's like, he's got it over there.
He is.
He gave me five gold.
Five gold.
How many arrows can that get you?
20.
I can fetch you a nice quiver of arrows back where I'm from.
Okay.
Did he actually take my money?
I do address Frank.
No one knows.
You don't know either.
I haven't seen many of our kind outside of the wild.
So this is a pleasant surprise.
He's like, yeah.
He's like, I, I ventured out during the war.
As did I.
That's actually how I met my friend.
Aren't we carrying the meat in?
Are we already there?
Yeah.
As you're walking in, you walk in as you hear them talking about the war.
You set that, you set that shit up.
You dirty bastard.
I have like the bar on my shoulder.
And then I roll.
Oh my God.
Oh, that looks like a seven.
Is it cocked?
No, I see.
I see.
Okay.
It's not really cocked.
Is it cocked?
You want me to reroll?
Yeah.
You just want me to lose.
I want to make things interesting.
Oh, what kind of God.
Oh no.
It was a, yeah.
It's an A.
Am I there?
Can I somehow like try to see it happen?
Acrobatics or athletics to see if you can try to catch this.
We're going to probably do acrobatics.
I think, cause that's the better one.
Is it, so it's just a check.
It's not a saving throw.
Yeah.
It's the check.
Yeah.
Okay.
Guidance.
You touch yourself before you do it.
God damn right.
I touch myself.
16 plus two 18 plus one 19.
Yeah.
So you see like, he drops it, just straight up starts spazzing out.
And you just swoop it and just grab it and you're like, you redeem yourself.
And the chef, he was like, Oh, Oh, he's like, Oh, good.
Good on you boy.
So you see, Harun is, is I would say at this point quietly, but still saying like, Oh,
Oh, oh, oh, oh.
I looked at Frankie.
Please don't use that word around.
My other companion over there with the W.
He's like, try to move himself to a corner.
I can't carry this.
Come on.
I need you here, buddy.
I'm gonna go over and help.
Your heart comes over and like...
We've already established that I can't hold this.
I just caught it.
Oh, that one is 21.
So you kind of figure out, all of you,
you go to catch it, your heart jumps in there.
I'm like, oh sorry.
The chef is like, oh perfect.
Your heart is, go ahead and hold this in.
So you kind of just hold...
UGH!
And then he's like, ladies and gentlemen!
And then you see him pull out some knives
and start slicing and just throwing a bunch of meat
on the plates and...
He's got a role for that. I'm just kidding.
My mouth is watering as I'm watching him
carve into this delectable roast.
And he's like, don't worry, I'll save you some good pieces.
UGH!
He's like, the head meat is always great.
These people don't understand.
I know a thing or two about head and meat.
HEH HEH HEH!
HAHAHAHAHAHA!
Because he's singing thing or two.
Yeah, so you see them
as he's passing out the meat.
You guys are all there.
Let's see how many hands you've won.
I'm gonna roll...
Do I get advantage because I'm cheating?
Sure you do. Yeah, I'll go ahead and roll again.
So far you've won 11 hands.
HELL!
Sheesh!
Just buy yourself in at this point.
You know, I'm very down to hell.
So, the Frankie has been coming by.
You guys often are kind of just refilling Baldwin's drinks.
And then you kind of just make an eye on each other.
You know those looks of like...
The understanding looks.
Um...
And...
Just sees you...
Piling up money.
You guys have been winning a lot.
I'm gonna slide off one of the stacks
to Frankie.
Like, you've been so wonderful and I'm gonna look at Baldwin as I do it.
And I'm gonna take one stack.
You've been so helpful today and I can't attain.
You see Baldwin take a drink and as you're handing it,
you're like, what the fuck?
And he's just like, well thank you!
He knows what's up?
He puts a stack and somehow just goes in his pocket.
It's a vacuum pocket.
He's got a bag holding so many into his pants.
It's a pocket of Baldwin.
And then he just kind of like,
winks at you and then goes back to serving the other guests.
He sounds like a wizard of some sort.
So, I'm sure he has something like that.
Wizard!
So, could I get a rough estimate of how much gold is in front of me?
Um, it looks
about twice the size of the stack that you saw on the vault.
Jesus!
I'm gonna be like, weirdly focused on this gold.
Yeah, and Baldwin's like, oh I knew you were a good luck charm.
I'm gonna kind of just lean in and give you a nibble.
Oh god!
So like, yeah focus on this gold.
I'm just like, I don't move.
I'm like, mmm.
I see it, but I wince, but I'm also
high-key motivated by this gold.
Dry heaving inside of your mind right now?
Yeah, I'm like, oh I don't like that.
But also, this is a lot of money.
Um, yeah, so
then it kind of goes on
and you guys eventually
do become the winners and
some of the guests start getting a little more inebriated.
Some of them start to call it as they start losing
and people start like, leaving.
Y'all Horace and Wallace are
um, had to escort
a rowdy patron out and
back to his room and he's like,
sober up in the morning, sober up in the morning.
Is the game over?
Yeah, the game's over.
No, like I immediately start pounding my dragon, call Franky over.
Yeah, as you're dragging, you're like, oh.
Full.
Bro, man.
As long as it's full, I'm pounding it.
Con save again.
Are we still holding the meat?
No, you guys have to put it down.
And you guys had to eat too, so.
Delicious. Yeah, you're fine.
You're just like, oh I hate a bitch, I hate a bitch.
No, you can't look at a bitch in front of silver.
Yeah, so you see like um,
some of the
his servants are gathering like his gold
into like pouches and they're bringing it
and um,
he kind of just looks at you and he's like,
I'm gonna go to my room and then he kind of like,
he kind of stumbles a little bit as he walks into the room
and just kind of holding you for balance.
As you see him like drunkenly stumble and
you see the other servant kind of put the bags down.
And he um,
he just, you see him kind of slobbering open
to see if he just starts throwing the bags in.
And he's like,
you, you're like, ugh.
He's like, go ahead, and he's like, I won't look.
He's like, you want to go ahead and he's like,
grab a handful.
Just take the bag, take the bag.
And then as he turns around, he doesn't look.
First I want to make sure he's actually not looking.
He's kind of, you see, his eyes are like
half shut already. I'm going to,
as I lean forward, open the bag of holding
and throw in like, more than a couple
handfuls of these bags.
And then hold up one bag
as I stand back. Alright, I'm gonna roll a d20
and I'm gonna tie his amp. Yep.
Okay, so you got a total of
19 hundred gold.
Oh,
so you just like,
you just,
and then you see him, I kind of lean in
and try to give you another nibble.
I'm not gonna pull it, cause I'm super focused on this.
And he just, oh yeah, he's nibbling on your neck.
I'm like, we should get drinks, we should celebrate.
He's like, yes.
I'm gonna try to get him
drunken up the path the fuck out again.
He's like, oh, wait until,
wait until tomorrow, we got more betting
to do. We got more money to do. I cannot wait.
You're my goliath,
we're gonna win more money tomorrow.
He said 19 hundred?
Yeah, see at least it's somewhat good
looking, or is it just not that good?
It's like cousin in.
He's not the most
charming person, he just
looks kinda greasy. This is a quick question.
How much longer do we have on this train ride?
A couple more days. This is day three?
Out of how many? Seven.
This isn't a bad job so far.
Yeah. Only one attack.
I feel so dirty.
Well, we only know of one attack.
And it's turning night time, so.
I would have seen it.
Hahaha.
Yeah, you uh, you may
actually get the gold as he puts the rest
of it away and just says, we're gonna win
some more of that tomorrow.
I can't wait, I have a taste now.
Oh yeah.
Then he's like, let's get some drinks.
And as you
stumble out with him,
and
the night draws near.
It is, what time is it?
Almost 9.30. I know you guys are getting
old. We're all getting old.
Is mine cold here? No?
Alright.
Just as a finisher, Harun is gonna
walk up to Frankie and ask for some oil.
What kind of oil?
Canola.
Motor. I don't know if that even makes sense.
Just old crude oil I guess, I don't know.
He's got lantern oil.
Sure.
He's gonna like, just
hold out a shot glass.
He's gonna drink it.
He just
takes one with you.
Alright.
He shoots it back.
Shoots back the motor oil.
Mmm.
I have successfully
hoarded myself. Yeah.
He seems to be doing pretty good.
Yeah, and nobody
knows you got that money. You don't have to tell anyone.
I mean, I hear it all, but
I have a little bit better control of my
brick door. Yeah.
She knows how the spell works.
Plus, I think at this
point, you said five hours, right?
Yeah, I would have just paid it by then.
You guys were getting look for hours.
So yeah, at this point it would have been
gone already.
What are you guys doing? What are you guys
doing? Hello?
Hello?
Come on, come on. Please.
Please. It should have been me.
It should have been me.
I imagine it goes like a perfectly cut sentence.
Yeah. It's like,
what are you doing? What are you?
And then you just hear
Siafra's giggle. Oh, god.
That's the last thing I hear before it
cuts. Yeah. It's from looking at
the money.
Out of context.
It's
a really excited giggle and you're just like, what the fuck?
Good sesh, boys. Good sesh.
We are glad a lot of money
that we don't know about, so.
So we'll see what happens.
I said two worst people.
Two least trustworthy people
to have money.
I mean, I'll share.